#oc:travis

[ratcatcher0325]

NOBODY’S FOOL

Hey everyone! I sadly had too many links on my master post so I am moving all the chapter links for Nobody’s Fool to here! (Art by @rubeau-art​)

SYNOPSIS

***PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING***

This is a story of one tiny man overcoming obstacles both systemic and personal to become a big time star. Set in a universe where miniature people (around 5 inches tall) are kept as pets for the rich, this story follows one tiny man as he struggles to overcome the abuse people like him suffer at the hands of those who view him as nothing more than a plaything. When he’s rescued by a human who learns to see him for the person he is, he discovers something he never could explore until he had the opportunity to truly express himself: he has quite an incredible hidden talent.  He has what it takes to become a big time star...if only everyone would take him seriously. A mixture of fluff and angst. Mature (Language, adult themes and violence) but SFW. This story uses the pet trope as a means to explore themes of overcoming trauma and fighting back against abuse, as well as learning to love oneself.

Link to Pinned Master Post

Chapter #1: Baby, it’s Cold Outside Chapter #2: One Step at a Time Chapter #3: For the Apparel Oft Proclaims the Man Chapter #4: Just Relax, Just Relax Chapter #5: Quarter-Sized Crisis Chapter #6: *Ring, Ring*… It’s for You Chapter #7: All Dressed up with Somewhere to Go Chapter #8: Maiden Voyage Chapter #9: Lightin’ in a Bottle Chapter #10: Flying High Chapter #11: One Too Many Chapter #12: Just Under the Surface Chapter #13: Cold Case, Warmed Up Chapter #14: Whiplash Chapter #15: The Road Chapter #16: First Time Chapter #17: Larger than Life Chapter #18: Waiting in the Wings Chapter #19: Genesis Chapter #20: Sinking Ship Chapter #21: End of the Panzy Waltz Chapter #22: Cyrano Chapter #23: Pull the Strings Chapter #24: Left Alone Chapter #25: Veritas Chapter #26: Heart, Locked Up Chapter #27: Intercontinental Chapter #28: A View from Above Chapter #29: Pick-me-up Chapter #30: Table’s all Set Chapter #31: Table Manners Chapter #32: Well Armed Chapter #33: Breaking Ties Chapter #34: Confessions Chapter #35: Five Time’s the Charm Chapter #36: Bait and Switch Chapter #37: Nobody’s Nothing After All Chapter #38: Cold Case, Blacked Out Chapter #39: Home for the Holidays Chapter #40: Merry Little Christmas Chapter #41: Visitation Chapter #42: Unleashed Chapter #43: You and I Both Chapter #44: Leave your Baggage on the Stage Chapter #45: Mariposa Chapter #46: The Pet who Hopped the A Train Chapter #47: Everything Grows Chapter #48: Somebody’s Something After All Chapter #49: Welcome Home Chapter #50: Nobody’s Fool

Bonus Chapters (I wanted to expand on the story so here are some chapters that were originally written from solely Eveline’s POV, where you can now read what Penn was experiencing. Enjoy!)

Chapter #1A: Out of the Frying Pan Chapter #1B: Into the Fire Chapter #2A: When Hell Freezes Over

Bonus Bonus Chapter! (It was my birthday so I wrote a fluffy little one-shot. This takes place sometime after the events of Nobody’s Fool)  Birthday One Shot: Careful Composition 

[ratcatcher0325]

THANK YOU @kitn-underfoot!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 this is the first time we’ve ever seen the band all together! Look at this little family of weirdos! I love them!!

Got up enough energy to draw a pic of the band from @ratcatcher0325 story Nobody’s Fool. 

Left to right: Travis, Ev, Penn on the stool, Dani, and Riley. Just a silly quick drawing. :)

[punch-the-sky]

These are all totally in-character

draw the squad poses snagged from this post!

[hartreadingwriting]

[ratcatcher0325]

Nobody’s Fool (Cowboy One Shot Part #1)

Howdy, Y’all! (Ugh, I NEVER say y’all but it feels necessary, here) Guess what???? @narrans informed me that TODAY is National Day of the Cowboy!!! 🥳🤠🐎

So in honor of this holiday I did not know existed, I wanted to give some love to our pocket-sized cowpoke, Penn! Sadly, I didn’t have time to write the full thing in one go like I was hoping to, so you all will have to wait for Part #2 to get the rest of this little story. 

This takes place pretty immediately after the events of Nobody’s Fool, but you don’t really need any context to read it. Please enjoy the dumb fluffy thoughts from my brain. 

CW: Adult Language

Tag list: @gatlily; @grbene; @patrocolus3; @lucentbliss; @beautifulunknowntrash; @titan-god-420; @andraimeide; @themarlo; @cup-o-chai; @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien, @angelic-mini, @thegodmother007; @sizechaun; @bittykimmy13; @marydublin5; @littlescaryinternetguy; @jae-from-discord; @awkwardgtace; @narrans; @becca-but-bitty; @secretly-small

Please reach out if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

Read all of Nobody’s Fool HERE.

Next: Part 2

________________________________________

NOBODY’S FOOL

Cowboy Day One Shot Part #1: Save a Horse...

Word Count: 1,915 Read Time: Approx. 15 mins

[Eveline’s POV]

Shuffling my way back from the kitchen, arms full of candy, snacks and freshly mixed drinks, I mumbled through the package of Reese’s Pieces clenched between my teeth, “Alright boys….” I settled on the couch beside Trav, Penn lounging comfortably, perched between our shoulders on the back cushion, his legs dangling over the edge. The night with its purplish blue haze of clouds and stars gave us no light through the windows and so I could only make out the silvery silhouettes of the two men, by the harsh reflection of the television screen. I put all the junk food and drinks down on the coffee table in a clumsy pile.

Penn and I had taken to spending quite a bit of time at Travis’s apartment, lately. We didn’t want to fully move in to our fixer upper until the renovations for the smaller of the two of us were completed. And to be honest, the labor of assembling furniture and shoving boxes around had gotten to be too much. Especially in the blazing Texas summer heat. Penn had done his utmost to help in every way he could, but even his little feet had begun to drag by the end of the day, and we’d decided, fuck it… we deserved to have some fun.

Well, that had been the routine for just about every day this week, we’d work until we were too lazy and sweat soaked to keep going and we’d bring booze and food to Trav’s and veg out. Once I finally sat, propping an elbow up on the back of the couch and settling my fingers in Penn’s lap which he warmly took in his own small hands, I continued my sentence, “What’s on the docket for tonight?”

Travis responded first. I could tell I was going to hate the answer he gave just by the mischievous twinkle in his eye, “Well, the list recommended either worst horse movie ever or worst sports movie ever and Penn picked the horse movie.”

Penn piped up, like he was Travis’s hype man, “Zac fucking Efron is in it, Ev!”

“No!” I audibly groaned. The boys cackled with delight, “God fucking dammit, you two! You’re still bound and determined to watch every recommendation on that stupid list? Can’t we please watch something actually good, please??? I’m begging you! We only have so much finite time on this earth and you two idiots want to waste it watching every ‘worst movie ever’ for every sub-genre of film? Why?!”

Penn cleared his throat, dramatically before launching into it, “You probably don’t realize this about us, my sweet, wonderful, naïve love… but Travis and I are simple men. I know we hide it extremely well what with all our sophistication and charm… but, we don’t need your fancy art house films. We just want to get drunk and watch movies that are so bad you couldn’t recreate them that poorly if you actively tried. C’mon! Don’t be such a downer! Admit it, you thought ‘The Room’ was hilarious!”

“I did until I’ve had to listen to you quote it fucking nonstop everyday for a week!”

“Awww, c’mon, Ev! You’re just a chicken, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep…!” Penn fully embodied his performance of the line from the worst movie ever made, even trying his hand at the lead actor’s weird accent. I had to admit the whole display was pretty cute. It made me want to pluck him up and kiss him. But no, I had to stop myself. He didn’t get to win that easily!

“Travis, why? Why do you hate me? You know him.” I pointed to the tiny man perched between us, “He does not know how to shut up. He won’t stop doing this. Every day it’s like the same five quotes… over and over and over! He’s psychologically torturing me!!” I pointed a finger at my friend’s chest, “You knew this would happen didn't you? Are the two of you in cahoots to try and make my brain turn to mush by watching this garbage?”

Travis beamed, having way too much fun at my expense, “But this one is garbage… with horses!!! You’ll love it! It’ll be like old times! C’mon, Ev!”

******

“Old times? Have you guys seen this movie before?” I was situated between the two humans, each of their shoulders close enough for me to touch if I wanted. I loved my vantage point from up here. I was only a few inches shy of being eye level with these two people and I had a perfect view of the tv screen. Call me an agent of chaos but I loved teasing Eveline like this. It was fun remembering that I could actually make her squirm every now and again.

I noticed her stiffen slightly when I asked the question, Travis was the one to reply, seeming not to notice her shift in body language, “Hm? Oh, no. Not this movie. We’ve never seen it. I meant that Ev used to—“

“Travis? Do you want to watch your dumb movie or not?” Huh. What was her problem?

“Hey… what’re you so cagey about all the sudden?” I crawled on my hands and knees and leaned on her. I delicately stroked the thin fabric that covered her shoulder, giving her my biggest, most impressive puppy dog eyes. I knew all too well just how to get precisely what I wanted from her.

“Penn! Don’t you dare! Don’t look at me like that! You know I can’t say no to you when you look like that! It’s not fair! You’re evil, you know that??” She was shoving me playfully with her fingers as she spoke. So clearly whatever it was wasn’t that big of a deal. But still, curiosity got the best of me, I had to know!

I pulled out the big guns, and placed an outstretched palm on her chin, “Please Ev, I love you…. So much… and I just wanna be here for you through whatever Travis is very rudely insisting you reveal….”

“Hey! I thought you were on my team! And aren’t you doing the same—“ Travis was mockingly indignant.

I lifted a harsh finger in the air. If I could have reached I would’ve silenced his lips with my hand, “Ah, ah ah! Let the lady speak!”

She sighed, pinching my wrist between her fingers and kissing the palm of my hand sweetly, “You’re a wicked little man, you know that?” She opened her mouth to speak but Travis got there sooner.

“Believe it or not, but, Eveline was once a horse girl…”

I burst out laughing, “You? No! What? Really??” My head was ping-ponging from left to right, taking in the countenances of both people.

“Shut up! Fuck you both! This is why I didn’t want you to open your big mouth!” She shoved at Travis’s chest, making the whole couch shake a bit, I was beside myself, this was goddamn hilarious! She continued, moaning with embarrassment, “God! It’s so lame! What a stereotype right? A Texas girl who rides horses? Blegh! Anyway, I haven’t ridden since I was like 10, so, I don’t think it counts.”

Trav, once again, was quicker on the draw, “Oh, it counts!!!” Then, suddenly, a new idea popped in his head as he turned to face me, “Which I guess makes her more of a cowpoke than you are, Penn! Everybody knows you have to have experience with horses in order to consider yourself a true cowboy…. Or girl… or cowperson for people who don’t fall into those categories…”

I gasped, “Fuck! You’re right! I’m a total fraud! I’m not even from here.” I scrambled over to face Travis, making a big show of cupping my hands and pretending to whisper secretly to my copper-haired friend, “Don’t tell Ev this… but I’m a complete hack. I’m just a city boy hiding behind a hat… I have no idea what I’m doing! Man to man, you gotta help me out! I don’t want her to break up with me when she finds out I’m a liar!” All three of us cackled through this.

He said his first sentence in a faux whisper to me, before speaking at normal volume, “Well, let’s fix that, then! Let’s turn this cowboy into a cowman! Whaddya think, Ev?”

“Never say that ever again!”

Well now was my chance to stoke the fire because how could I not? “What?? Cowman????”

She buried her head in her hands, cringing at the stupidity, “It sounds like a terrible off-brand superhero!”

Travis continued, unfazed, “But, for real, I have an uncle with some land and a couple of horses only an hour’s drive from here.”

*************

I watched as Penn’s entire body stood at rapt attention. His eyes growing wide. I had to nip that in the bud, right now, “No… no, I am not taking him to a horse ranch… absolutely not! That’s just asking for trouble.”

“Awww, c’mon Ev….I wanna be a real cowman!!!” He sunk to his knees clasping his hands together and begging unabashedly. What is your deal little man?! Do you have no shame??

“No, you���re not gonna guilt me into this one… it’s dangerous. Even for humans it can be extremely dangerous. Can’t we just watch the dumb Zac Efron movie now?” Even though I asked it, I knew as well as they did that we were far past the movie, at this point.

Slowly at first and then gaining in tempo, the little man beside my shoulder started to chant fucking cowman over and over and over again. Travis joined him. My love and my best friend were having the time of their lives. That tiny troublemaker brought out the best and the worst in all of us didn’t he? I groaned,“Trav! Stop it! Stop encouraging him! Penn! Hush! I’m not budging on this! It’s not safe! Do you have any idea how big horses are?!”

Penn didn’t seem to be listening to a word I was saying. Instead he was crawling across the couch cushion as fast as his unsteady feet could carry him, before hand over fist, climbing on to my shoulder and standing at his full five and one quarter inches before my face. He placed a warm little hand on either side of the bridge of my nose. Kissing my sweetly, softly. I melted. I loved those little kisses with my whole being. I couldn’t help reaching around and stroking his spine with my finger tips. “Come on, Ev. My entire brand, depends on this. This is my identity we are talking about. What if my fans find out? Everything will come crashing down if I, Penn, do not ride a horse. Please, my love, my beautiful guardian angel, have pity on the poor man you see before you, in dire and desperate need. I’ll never ask for anything ever again. I can lie to my fans, but I’ll never be able to lie to myself. I must right this wrong.”

I rolled my eyes into the back of my skull, “Oh-my-fucking-god-fine.”

The boys erupted into celebration. Penn was literally jumping up and down, giving Travis a hilariously mismatched high five, fist pumping the air and dunking an invisible football… what an idiot. I’m deeply, passionately in love with a tiny idiot.

And just like that, it was settled, we’d drive out to Travis’s family farm at first light tomorrow.

[ratcatcher0325]

Nobody’s Fool (Cowboy One Shot Part #2)

Howdy, again! So, this is longer than I planned so, sorry, there will be a Part #3 coming soon! Thanks @narrans for telling me that July 23rd is National Day of the Cowboy!!! 🥳🤠🐎

I just had to write a dumb little cowboy themed story for our dumb little cowboy! 

Will Penn tame the wild beast and become one with the American West? Probably not. But who knows??

CW: Adult Language

Tag list: @gatlily; @grbene; @patrocolus3; @lucentbliss; @beautifulunknowntrash; @titan-god-420; @andraimeide; @themarlo; @cup-o-chai; @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien, @angelic-mini, @thegodmother007; @sizechaun; @bittykimmy13; @marydublin5; @littlescaryinternetguy; @jae-from-discord; @narrans; @becca-but-bitty; @secretly-small

Please reach out if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

Read all of Nobody’s Fool HERE.

Previous: Part #1 Next: Part #3

________________________________________

NOBODY’S FOOL

Cowboy Day One Shot Part #2: Ride a...

Word Count: 2,711 Read Time: Approx. 20 mins

[Penn’s POV]

The sun was still winking through the tops of the trees as the van’s tires tumbled and ground the gravel beneath them to dust. I was profoundly sleepy, my hair a bed-headed mess of curls. Left to my own devices, I was not, nor would I ever be, a morning person. I was balled up in the fetal position, my arms tucked under my head, as I lay in the middle of Eveline’s hand. I could tell she was still nervous about this whole thing by the way she kept kneading the muscles of my back and shoulders like I was some sort of stress ball. I didn’t mind it, I loved when she stroked and massaged me. But I wished she wasn’t so worked up about our upcoming adventure. I, for one, was overcome with glee at the idea.

As we bounced along, I reached out and traced the lines in her hand and fingers that I could reach from here, before rolling over onto my back, and staring up at her.

“Hey Ev?” She looked down at me, she’d been staring out the window and biting her nails, another nervous habit of hers. When our eyes met she softened just a little.

“Yes, sweetheart?” She laid her index over my chest and down the length of my body.

I hugged it tight, kissing her fingertip. “Everything’s gonna be alright! I’m not worried! You shouldn’t be either. Relax, love! This is supposed to be fun!” She gave me a soft pained smile, rubbing my chest in almost a dismissive way as she propped her elbow on the lip of the door and stared out the window.

Well, I wasn’t just going to give up that easily! I was going to make her feel better, dammit! Even if it was the last thing I did! Sitting up in her hand, I crawled to her wrist and then started scaling her forearm. The ride was awfully bumpy, and I had to cling to the fabric of her long sleeves to keep my balance. I made it to the crook of her elbow without her paying me much mind, but then I started to climb up, toward her shoulder, which was a little under twice as tall as me with outstretched fingers and toes. That’s when she chuckled, bewildered.

“Excuse me, sir, I’m not a jungle gym, what’re you doing?” Her fingers descended to pluck me off, that only motivated me to climb faster.

“Just wait!” I was starting to get a bit winded at this point, this would’ve been hard under normal circumstances but inside a moving car navigating country roads? That was another kind of obstacle course entirely!

Still managing to hang on, I somehow got to her shoulder. Snatching for the collar of her worn out flannel shirt, I tried to start gathering my legs beneath me, to stand. I straddled her shoulder and the dip of her collarbone. She stayed as still as she could manage, which helped some. Using gravity in my favor, I gripped the corner of her collar, and leaned back, letting my feet press into her. I was able to shuffle about an inch or so towards her chin. But, then, while I was in the process of hooking the toe of my boot into the edge of her pocket as a foothold, we hit a particularly nasty bump and I lost my footing. Still clinging to her collar, my left leg swung wildly as I fought to get it underneath me again.

Eveline immediately winced, her hands flying up to save the day, “Sweetheart, come here, you’re gonna hurt yourself…”

“No, no, no. I’ve got this…” as I spoke, I righted myself. Now clinging like a mountain climber, I leaned back, my weight in my heels. I beamed up at her, “Now, you come here…” I reached out with a hand and coaxed her chin down. Then, when she was right where I wanted her, I pushed off with the foot hooked inside her pocket and lifted myself up to sink my lips into hers.

We were locked in a long, luxurious kiss. I was surrounded by warm, soft flesh: pure heaven for me. That’s when Travis clearing his throat rang in my ears as the tires ground to a stop.

“Hey, lovebirds, we’re here.”

We pulled away from each other, she cupped a hand around me and plucked me off of her shirt, gently rubbing me with a thumb over my torso. I was happy to let her hold me after all the muscular effort of that shaky climb.

We exited the van, greeting the misty morning with its dew-kissed earth and the already hot, early sun. “I can’t believe you talked me into letting you do this….” She shook her head before tucking me into her front breast pocket. I didn’t even have a witty comeback, my mind was a bit preoccupied. Instead, I leaned back against the wall of her chest and simply craned my neck to beam up at her while she took steps towards the barn. God, she’s beautiful when she’s judging me.

As we approached the stable, I was hit by a very strange, very particular smell that I’d never experienced before. It was musty, sharp, and almost sort of sweet? I would later be told this was a run-of-the-mill barnyard smell. With each step she took, I was that much closer to becoming a real cowboy. I shivered with excitement. This structure was dusty, looming with its massive beams of wood and cracked concrete floor that echoed with the clicks of my companions’ shoes as they completed each stride. It was warm and airy in here, with the newly rising sun shining golden beams of dawn, in from the rafters. It was rustic. It was beautiful just as much as it was filthy. I loved it already.

But as we stepped into the space and the footsteps were made audible on the echoey floor, that’s when I heard a whinny and the crunch of hay underfoot, as a long, speckled gray face with whiskered nostrils and big beautiful eyes appeared in the first stall to our right.

Travis trotted merrily over, Eveline followed in his wake a bit more cautiously. For my own part, I was leaning out as far as I possibly could, craning my neck to get a look at the biggest living thing I’d ever seen.

Travis stood before the metal bars, slipping his hand between them, he cupped it and allowed the horse to sniff him. He then lifted his hand up to scratch the length of its face. “Penn, meet Star. She’s an old gal, but she’s still got plenty of get up and go. Don’t ya, Star?“ he scratched the animal under her enormous chin while she nickered at him. She tossed her head up and down and it made me flinch, just for a second. I could hear her pawing the straw beneath her.

“Ev, get closer, I wanna see.” I tugged on Eveline’s collar, as her finger tips brushed my cheek.

“Not too close… I’m still really not sure this is a good idea…”

“I’m fine! It’s all fine! Come on!” She sighed, relenting.

She took several more steps and soon I was only about six inches away from the horse. She was beautiful. Her face was a deep dark gray. So dark it was almost blue. She had a white patch in the middle of her forehead that looked suspiciously like her namesake. Her body was speckled dark grey over a lighter grey coat. “She’s…. Amazing…” I breathed, fascinated by the twitching of her ears, that rotated in my direction when I spoke, the big, bulbous but sweet eyes fringed with eyelashes surely as long as my forearm, not to mention the mess of whiskers about her muzzle, the dark grey skin of which looked incredibly soft to the touch.

“Ev! Let me out so I can pet her!” I could practically feel the muscles beneath me tense at my request. I chuckled and sighed, “It’s so adorable how worried you are. I’m fine, I’ve got you and Trav looking out for me. C’mon, I’ve gotta tame this wild wonder of the west if I’m ever gonna be allowed to call myself a cowboy!” In that moment, I was quite pleased with my on the fly poetry.

Fingers pinched the collar of my plaid button up and delivered me to the lip of the stall, standing steadily between two metal bars. I wrapped my arm around one for extra balance. I could tell she was still holding on to my shirt, pinching the fabric between finger and thumb, in case I fell.

The horse didn’t seem to notice me much at first, she was busy nuzzling Travis’ chest. “Awww I’m gonna pretend you’re doing that because you love me and missed me and not because you’re begging for treats… here, you greedy girl.” He fished something from his pocket that looked like a cookie, and held it out in the flat of his palm. I was probably just barely twice the size of that treat, I realized.

It was incredible watching my friends who I’d always seen as gigantic in their own right, interacting with a creature that dwarfed them. Her head alone was as big as his chest. I shook my head. It was trippy. The horse nuzzled his hand with her muscular lips, before gathering up her treat and munching on it gratefully.

Travis noticed me watching with fascination, and took a few steps closer, leaning down to meet me at eye level where I clung to the railing, “You wanna feed her?”

“Trav! She’ll bite his arm clean off!”

“Relax! You’ll help him, it’ll be great! Don’t listen to her man, you’ve got this!” I tried to not let that gory image Eveline painted make me fear the beautiful beast, “Here…” he broke off a small piece of the treat, small enough for me to hold, “So what you’ll do, if you put it like this, in the flat of your hand and offer it to her, Ev can place her hand beneath yours. That way she has more of a surface area to graze and won’t accidentally grab onto you…. Sound good?” I nodded vigorously, grinning from ear to ear. I offered my right hand, he placed the treat into it. Eveline’s palm, seemingly a hundred times larger than mine, slid beneath my whole arm, supporting me.

Together, we both stuck our hands through the bars. My heart pounded in my chest as this unfathomably large creature descended its mouth down towards me. Those massive fuzzy lips began feeling for food while those nostrils, bigger than the upper half of my body, smelled in heavy hot breaths. I couldn’t help yelping with delight when that muzzle made contact with my offered arm. It was so soft.

“Ha!! It tickles! Her whiskers!” She soon found the chunk of treat and snatched it from me, leaving a glob of gritty, sandy slobber in her wake. Gross. But I also didn’t give a shit. I loved this more than I could put into words.

I craned my neck to look at those massive, glossy black eyes. “Hey, girl… Hey, Star…” again I watched her ears prick at the sound of my voice. It was baffling that someone as tiny as me was even on her radar. She nickered softly, nostrils flaring as she approached the bars again.

************

I stiffened, watching the horse approach the minuscule man I was holding onto with a death grip. I wanted to just snatch him away now before anything happened, but I saw Travis hold a hand up and shake his head. I grit my teeth. What was Trav’s obsession with wanting Penn to flirt with danger all the sudden?

I watched with baited breath, as the horse’s nose closed the gap between her and his outstretched hand. Terrified as I was for his safety, I took a step back and recognized how brave my little cowboy was. There wasn’t an ounce of fear or trepidation in him. Here he was, caressing an animal literally a thousand times his size. You’re either crazy or stupid or maybe a little of both, but goddamn do I love you, my sweet little Penn. You’re ten times braver than I could ever be.

The second his palm collided with her muzzle he gasped in pure delight, “She’s soooo soft!” He practically squealed and in spite of everything, my heart melted. I watched as Star breathed out, a warm puff of air swirling around the little man. “Thanks for letting me pet you… you’re very soft!” Almost as if she knew she was dealing with a very small, very fragile life, she stayed stock still, blinking lazily in the rising morning light. She breathed out a second time, satisfied and relaxed. Maybe this wasn’t a total disaster after all, everything had exceeded my expectations so far. Penn turned over his shoulder, beside himself with glee, “She likes me! We’re best friends now…” I felt a flush in my cheeks at seeing him so giddy. I bit my lip, as he turned back to the horse,“You like it when I pet you…Don’t you, girl? Yeah, you love it!” He continued to caress her. There was something acutely adorable about a pocket-sized man cooing at a thousand-pound animal.

But then, as he continued to rub her gently and sweetly, her nostrils flicked, once, twice, and on the third time, she sucked in air before… BAM!!! She sneezed all over him.

Horrified, I wrenched him away from the stall bars, cradling him in my hands. He was covered with dirty horse snot from head to toe. It was disgusting. “Oh you poor thing! Are you okay? Goddammit! I knew this was a bad idea, Travis, I knew it! We never should have brought him here—“

I was stopped in my rant by the sound of laughter coming from the mess of mucus and man squirming in my hands. Travis crossed to my side and gingerly plucked him from my grasp, gathering the inside corner of his shirt, he began to wipe Penn down, whose only response was continued giggles. Once he was at least not soaking wet, Travis perched my love in the center of his open palm, returning his hat to him as well.

Penn opened his arms wide, clutching his hat in his right hand,“See? I’m okay! It’s my fault, I was scratching her nose too much! I deserved it!” I shook my head. Ever the little optimist aren’t you?

I offered my hands and he clung to my thumb allowing himself to be picked up and held between a nest of fingers. I tipped his chin to look at me, shaking my head, “I can’t believe after that you still wanna be out here!”

“Of course I do!” He furrowed his brow defiantly, “The cowboy life is rough and tumble. If I can’t learn to roll with the punches and bounce back, I don’t deserve to wear this hat!” I rolled my eyes at all the performativity and bravado.

Unbeknownst to us, Travis had dipped into the tack room and now reappeared with a dusty leather saddle thrown over his shoulder like it weighed nothing at all, “We tacking up or what?”

Before I could get a word out, Penn scrambled to a kneeling position in my hand, turning to face the copper-haired man, “Fuck yes we are!” With that he plopped his hat back on his head, grinning from ear to ear.

Well, that was that. We were really doing this. My little cowboy was calling the shots and I had no choice but to tag along. “Why the fuck can’t I say no to you??” I groaned.

“You probably did something bad in a past life and I was sent here to punish you! In any case, I’m riding a motherfucking horse, today!!” All I could do was roll my eyes, tuck him gently in my pocket and help Travis with the tack. Goddammit, please, don’t let this end in disaster!