#of course i had to do something with The Train Scene of Pain™

[buckybarnesss]

:: the pacific 15th anniversary :: home :: free choice

[morathicain]

With all the shared joy about Sorn finally getting some of the pain he deserves, I was thinking back to my initial issues with him.

Under the cut is my opinion. I'm not attacking anyone who likes his character and if you'd rather not read a rant about him, please scroll on 🌺

To me, one of his first and worst offenses wasn't "not getting his own feelings and communicating badly" (although at a certain age it's his own responsibility to work through that and he can't demand people he hurt with it to stay with him and do his emotional work AGAIN) but the way he's gaslight Jun from the beginning.

It's Sorn telling Jun over and over how bad he is at kissing and sex, even after they've been "training". He has deliberately kept Jun's self confidence low in the worst way and continued to break the man bit by bit. Maybe this is a specific pet peeve for me but the way we see Jun who is so open and fun and flirty and actually a nice person become more and more sad and frustrated, his light getting dimmed, makes me want to punch Sorn. And then bury him too deep to ever get out again.

Like yes, of course Sorn was afraid Jun would fall for someone else. It makes perfect sense! Sorn is no boyfriend material at all and we see for ourselves that Jun very much is. This man would have found a thousand possible boyfriends already who would be teaching him and actually appreciating him instead of trying to smother everything that makes him amazing.

Sorn couldn't reflect his own feelings for Jun or read Jun's very very open emotions, but he deliberately made Jun believe that he was actually bad enough at intimacy that it required lessons (it doesn't. It's not the end of the world if you haven't had much experience - a good partner will explore with you together) and that only Sorn could ever give them to him.

All the while, Jun has tried to work with what he got. No emotions? Okay, he'll flirt with others and doesn't make a scene even when he's confused. Sorn demanding to be treated like a boyfriend but not admitting to it? Okay, Jun even tried to adapt to that. Shit, he should have dumped that sorry ass when Sorn was unnecessarily rude to the neighbour girl.

In all honesty I don't believe Sorn is a playboy. Man has the charisma and emotional intelligence of a brick. Him and Peggy make sense, they have the same wave. But outside of that? He tries to bring the vibe to the table. And maybe that's the reason why he reacts so fucking obsessive over Jun whenever there's even another man in the vicinity. Because Jun HAS the charm. He's bringing all the boys to the yard and he could have had a boyfriend ten times over if not for Sorn. So, Sorn sees in Jun what he tries to show to the outside but in his case it's dishonest and wrong. Jun tho is honestly a good friend and good partner. Someone who likes a light, fun flirt but can be very committed, too. Caring and fun and enthusiastic and smart.

Sorn on the other hand has not only ignored Jun's boundaries since the beginning, he has also actively tried to crush Jun's self esteem and confidence, his very social nature and his friendships.

In my book, Sorn doesn't deserve another chance with Jun. His job now is to learn and be better and get therapy and try to be more aware of his surroundings and emotions™ as a concept. To me, he has hurt Jun too much. The damage he has done could possibly be something Jun himself needs therapy for.

I know the show will bring them together in the end but I hope it will involve more than puppy eyes and a half assed "how can I make you forgive me?" While he again disrespects boundaries at every corner (hello wrist grabbing). To even get a glimpse of a chance (instead of leaving Jun's life and give the man some peace), he doesn't need to learn what Jun wants to hear but he needs his whole character turned upside down. How to accept boundaries and how to appreciate and uplift your partner and how to communicate damnit!

And I know we've had even worse red flags (hell I'm currently enjoying revenged love) but you know what's usually the difference? The partners match their freaks. Pete doesn't want a stereotypical family and some cute flirting. He's with Vegas on the insanity. Hira is into Kiyoi's 'kimoi' and they compete in their obsession for each other - and also in their support) Or so many of the others. Their partners know or guess and learn the unhinged mess they're getting into. Jun tho, doesn't want it and gets gaslight until he can collect his own pieces. And I think that's, for me, what tips the scale. Plus the fact that they waited for so many episodes to bring him to that point instead of giving us SOME necessary character growth in earlier episodes already ...

(and tbf ruining someone's self confidence for 9 episodes straight and behaving as if they didn't mean it and were holding back IS a fucking pet peeve of mine)

[snarkformysanity]

House of Earth and Blood Chapter 62

Jesiba hadn’t seemed to care when Bryce explained that she needed the rest of the day off. She’d just demanded that Bryce be in first thing tomorrow or be turned into a donkey.

Book, the more you mention Jesiba threatening to turn Bryce into an animal, the more you make her sound like a little yapping dog that just does not know how to shut up. Have her do something or get the fuck over it.

Anyway, Hunt flies Bryce back to the apartment, but Micah calls, wanting to see them both. We then have a scene break to change into Hunt's POV. Really getting sick of this shit. It doesn't even have the decency to actually scene break and open with us at Micah's office or something. We're still in the apartment.

While he dressed in his battle-suit and gathered his helmet and weapons, Hunt debated telling Bryce to get on a train and get the fuck out of the city.

Oh, stop being melodramatic. We know you're not going to. And we know the meeting isn't going to be even remotely scary enough to justify this.

[Bryce had] registered for a follow-up appointment [about her leg] in a month, and it only now occurred to Hunt that he might not be there to see it.

With any fucking luck.

Either because this case had wrapped up, or because of whatever the fuck was about to go down in the Comitium.

Uugggggghhhhhhhh will you please just fucking stop with all this melodramatic fake drama. We know no one is going to die. Come up with some actual fucking tension or shut the fuck up, book.

Bryce tried to take all of one step before Hunt picked her up

You know, I'm going to have to stop pulling out so many instances of Hunt being a controlling douche who overrides Bryce's autonomy without even asking. For my own sanity. Just assume he's doing it with his every single action. (And for clarity, Bryce was having no issues walking - she's been marveling at how little pain she feels since the venom was removed. Hunt just hates that she can walk on her own, I guess.)

The usually bustling hall of his public office was hushed. Bad sign. [...]If people had run, or Micah ordered them out …If he saw Sandriel right now, if she realized Bryce was injured …

Then............? You going to finish that thought, book? Or is this more fake tension?

Hunt pulled away with a half smile of his own [...] He knew it would likely be his last smile for a long while.

Guys, do you get it? Do you know how much danger they're in right now? Aren't you just so worried that this might be his last smile for a long while?????

See, there's a rule in story-writing about making plans, and I feel that it's a similar principle that undermines the tension here. When characters are making a plan you (should) choose only one of the following: show them making the plan in detail (and then either have the action take place in summary or have the plan go Horribly Wrong), or show the action in detail and summarise/skip over the planning stage. If you spend so much time assuring us that there's totally going to be so much danger, that they're never going to walk out of there... well, of course we're not going to believe it. You can't tell us how a scene will play out and then have the scene play out exactly as told. This isn't an essay. That's just straight-up terrible writing, boring and repetitive.

Anyway, in Micah's office is.... Sabine! And Amelie! Dun dun dun!

[Hunt] knew precisely what this meeting was about.

Well, I'm glad you do, because I sure as fuck don't. There are way too many scattered plot threads in this book. Most of which don't add much except padding.

Well, there's a scene break, for some reason, and then we find out that the meeting is about Hunt attacking Amelie in the bar. Apparently, randomly assaulting people is a no-no, even for the Shadow of Death™.

Hunt said quickly, “Bryce had nothing to do with this. Amelie pulled a bullshit prank and I decided to pay her a visit.” He bared his teeth at the young Alpha, who swallowed hard.

This such a fucking stupid image. Do you know how ridiculous human faces look when they bare their teeth?

Seriously. Is this even remotely scary? Amelie cartoon-gulping in response just makes it worse.

Sabine snapped, “You assaulted my captain.” “I told Amelie to stay the fuck away,” Hunt bit out. “To leave her alone.”

And grabbed her by the throat. And slammed her against the wall. And "flayed" her from the inside out. We know, Hunt. We were, regrettably, there.

The book continues to act as if Sabine is being petty and vindictive about this, but... well, she's right. Hunt assaulted her captain. The only reason her captain isn't dead is because the book doesn't understand what flaying is.

Micah just loosed a long breath. He met Hunt’s eyes, disappointed. “You acted foolishly. I’d have thought you, at least, would know better.”

Well, you must be an absolute fucking idiot, then, Micah. Nothing about Hunt suggests he'd know better.

“History indicates that a slave assaulting a free citizen should automatically forfeit their life.” Hunt suppressed a bitter laugh at her words. Wasn’t that what he’d been doing for the Archangels for centuries now?

Given that fact that you're fucking alive, no, it is not what you've been doing for centuries now. Book, how do you not understand that Hunt's situation has plenty of angst already, without all these melodramatic statements? We get it. Hunt has a sad past and is Broken™ now. Stop bashing us over the head with it.

...Micah lifted a hand. “Hunt Athalar will be punished. And he shall die—in the way that angels die.”[...] “The Living Death.” Bryce looked at Isaiah, whose face was grim, for an explanation. The commander said to her, to the confused Amelie, “The Living Death is when an angel’s wings are cut off.”

Oh dear. Is this an actual consequence for being a douchecanoe? I mean, I won't believe it'll actually happen until it's happened, but a girl can dream.

For some reason, even Amelie is begging for this not to happen. Bryce jumps in the way.

Viktoria instantly appeared at her side. Holding her back. The wraith’s whisper was so quiet Hunt barely heard it. “They will grow back. In several weeks, his wings will grow back.” But it would hurt like Hel.

Oh fuck right off with all the melodrama then. "The Living Death?" "The way that angels die?" It's a fucking broken arm at worst, book, will you please just get the fuck over yourself.

See, the thing about death, book, is that it is, generally, permanent. That's what makes it such a scary consequence - it literally ends everything about you, forever. Something referred to as a "living death" should generally imply a similar sort of permanency, something that completely and irreversibly changes your life, forever. Forever being the operative word. Something that hurts a lot and inconveniences you for a few weeks is an injury, not a living death. Your melodrama truly knows no bounds.

“Sabine, no,” Amelie insisted. “It’s gone far enough.”

Bitch, please, we've been expressly told he'll be fine in a few weeks.

Anyway, his wings are chopped, he blacks out for like a second before Bryce's scream apparently overrides that, there is much fussing and yelling and general causing of ruckuses.

Bryce and Sabine shout at each other. Sabine tells us that she went to the Bone Quarter to try and talk to Danika's spirit, but Danika wouldn't come. And then she tells us something else.

“[The Under-King] told me that you[Bryce], you piece of trash, had made a bargain with him. For her. That you had gone to him after her death and traded your spot in the Bone Quarter in exchange for Danika’s passage. That you worried she would be denied access because of her cowardly death and begged him to take her in your stead.” Even Hunt’s pain paused at that.

Yeah, I don't think pain works like that, book. But I am loling at the "even Hunt's pain" part. That pain stops for nothing. But the one place it would make sense to have it keep going, the book stops it for dramatic convenience. Tell me this pain is artificial without telling me this pain is artificial.

They argue a bit more about whether Danika was or wasn't a coward, and Sabine says that Danika's spirit is now suffering, because she was never meant to be in the Bone Quarter at all.

And... well, the implication is obviously meant to be that Sabine is a bitch and is being unfair and whatnot. But from what (admittedly little) I remember of the funeral infodumps earlier in the book, it is possible for souls to be denied entry into the Bone Quarter, for various reasons. But we weren't told anything about what happens to souls which end up there when they shouldn't have. Maybe Sabine is right, and they actually do suffer eternal torment and agony?

It also begs the question of the logistics of "trading" one's spot in the Bone Quarter away. Is there only a finite amount of space? Does the act of trading somehow remove whatever was unpalatable about Danika's soul? Are all souls equivalent in value? What does the Under-King gain from agreeing to such a trade? If he didn't want Danika's soul, then he didn't want Danika's soul. Why does Bryce offering to not go to the Bone Quarter make him change his mind?

Alas, we get no answers. Of course not. These are interesting questions that don't concern Hunt, and we've got wing-angst to get to. I can't wait to hear all about how being injured for a few weeks is basically the same as being dead.

And honestly, this whole wing-chopping situation is pissing me off. Because even if it's about the same as a human breaking their arms, you still have every right to be angry and upset if someone breaks your arms, right? But the book is just so damn melodramatic about the whole thing that I can't help but roll my eyes and tell them to get over it. They'll fucking grow back. It's not even close to a Living Death. All you had to do was not use those words, book.

Ugh. At least Hunt has passed out, so we can be in Bryce's head for a bit.

Hunt remained unconscious while the medwitches worked on him in Micah’s office, stitching him up so that the stumps where his wings had been stopped spurting blood onto the floor, then dressing the wounds in bandages that would promote quick growth. No firstlight—apparently, its aid in healing wasn’t allowed for the Living Death. It would delegitimize the punishment.

But quick-growth bandages don't delegitimise it? Eh, whatever.

Bryce knelt with Hunt the entire time, his head in her lap. She didn’t hear Micah telling her how the alternative was Hunt being dead—officially and irrevocably dead.

I mean, another alternative could be officially and irrevocably cutting off his wings. That, I would accept as a "living death." Given it's, ya know, permanent, and a huge part of his identity as an angel.

Give him the healing potion every six hours, the medwitch ordered her. It will stave off the pain, too.

Healing potions don't delegitimise the punishment either, I guess. Book, just admit the firstlight thing was you trying to milk whatever feeble shred of drama you could from this situation.

Bryce flashes back to when she spoke to the Under-King. I feel like I vaguely remember a (short) chapter from early in the book about this, so it's not quite as ass-pully as it sounds.

The [Under-King's] voice had been old and young, male and female, kind and full of hatred. She’d never heard anything so hideous—and beckoning.

This is what is known as a non-description. It looks like a description, but it doesn't actually tell you anything useful about the thing.

The Under-King tries to talk her out of it, since apparently this will stop her soul from going to any afterlife anywhere.

Are you so certain Danika Fendyr will be denied welcome? Have you so little faith in her actions and deeds that you must make this bargain? I wish to trade my place. She’d sobbed the words.

See, this could actually (potentially) be an interesting little insight into how Bryce truly feels about what Danika might have done. She's staunchly denying that her friend was involved in anything shady, but it's been pretty clear to us that this is denial on her part. And clearly, if she went begging to the Under-King, some part of her does have its doubts. I like it.

Notably missing, though, is any reason why the Under-King would want to trade. I suppose, Bryce mentions a coin that she stole from the gallery that acts as payment - maybe he's compelled to accept them. Fairy-rule stuff.

Bryce liked to think of her chance at eternal rest as missing with [the coin from the gallery drawer].

I mean. That's literally what it is. What's with the "liked to think?"

But what Sabine had claimed about Danika suffering in the Bone Quarter … Bryce refused to believe it. Because the alternative—No. Danika had deserved to go to the Bone Quarter, had nothing to be ashamed about, whether Sabine or the other assholes disagreed or not. Whether the Under-King or whoever the Hel deemed their souls worthy disagreed or not.

Again, I don't mind this. Bryce is clearly in denial over whatever was ultimately up with Danika. But it does feel like this revelation should be coming around about the midpoint of the book, rather than more than two-thirds of the way through. It's around about the midpoint we should be getting a glimpse at the "true nature" of the conflict - in this case, that Bryce's denial might be getting in the way of answers. Basically, there's just way too much unnecessary padding in this book, masquerading as plot obstacles, and the ending is probably going to be rushed af to compensate.

[The world] sucked, and it was full of awful people. And the good ones always paid for it.

Well, luckily this case averts that, because on no planet is Hunt a good person.

Bryce messages Ithan, and then we scene change to a Hunt POV. Hoo boy. Brace yourselves.

Hunt’s eyes cracked open, pain a steady throb through him. Its sharpness was dulled—likely by some sort of potion or concoction of drugs.

But of course, we don't want to compromise the integrity of the punishment or anything.

Look, I'm not saying the wounds shouldn't be treated. I'm saying the book shouldn't have made the arbitrary declaration that firstlight wasn't allowed because it undermined the punishment when seemingly any other form of healing, magic or otherwise, is a-ok.

The steady counterweight that should have been on his back was gone. The emptiness hit him like a semitruck. But soft, feminine breathing filled the darkness. A scent like paradise filled his nose, settled him. Soothed the pain.

Honestly, I feel like this is worse. The power of love and cuddles makes even the Living Death bearable. Ugh.

Something deep in him shifted and settled. What she’d said and done today, what she’d revealed to the world in her pleading for him … It was dangerous. For both of them. So, so dangerous.

I mean...... Amelie was pleading for you, too. Has she also revealed something so, so dangerous to the world?

.....yeah, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. Which means this line is yet more fake melodrama.

He didn’t regret it, what he’d done. Not one bit of it.

Yup, Hunt has absolutely zero regrets about chokeslamming someone against the wall and flaying them from the inside out for primary-school tier bullying. Clearly, his punishment was too mild.

They snuggle, and then the chapter finally ends.