#oh this tickles my brain this is great
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spamtoon · 1 year ago
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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wilwheaton · 18 days ago
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The one about the Mad Libs
Last month, when I visited my sister and her family, my nephew gave me a book of D&D Mad Libs.
I loved Mad Libs when I was a kid. When I couldn't get a Guess & Show book for a long road trip, I got Mad Libs. They tickle that part of my brain that enjoys clever surprises and really dumb jokes.
A week after I saw them, I went to a convention in ... I think it was Mississippi. When I got there, I noticed that I had my new Mad Libs in my backpack, and I had an idea: take it with me into my panel, and do a Mad Libs together with the audience. When someone asks me a question during my Q&A, I will ask them for a noun, a verb, or whatever is next in the thing. Then, at the end of my Q&A, I'll read the thing we made together.
It looks great on paper, but in practice, something isn't quite clicking. I'm not sure what it is. It feels like one of those things that will be so obvious if and when I solve it, and then this will work in practice the way it works on paper ... but I can't find it, so I'm going to retire this bit.
The ENTIRE reason I took the time to post about this, on Tumblr specifically, is so I can relate this moment that happened yesterday.
I was in my panel (in a room with the worst sound and lighting I have ever been in at a con) doing the thing. I asked the person at the mic to give me a noun. They thought for a moment, and said, "ship."
I said, "Oh, that's more of a verb for me," and there was DEAD SILENCE in the room.
And that's how I knew that nobody from Tumblr was attending my panel.
I'm in Atlanta for Comicon all weekend if anyone wants to come say hello.
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sere1nnes · 14 days ago
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(⸝⸝⸝- ᴗ -⸝⸝⸝ ;) !! 18+ , mdni ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ ── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ Neurons activate in MYDEI's brain whenever his cock creates a cute little bump on your tummy. Warm, heavy breath full of unshackled desire grunted into your ear—your thighs jerking up as MYDEI slammed his hips into yours, pistoning over and over again as if he wanted to be merged inside of your walls forever. To have them be a perfect fit to his dick—him being the only key that would perfectly match your hole. 
You’d bitten down on your lip so much that its color was as red as the tattoos accentuating his form. The sight of them on his chiseled, sculpted body was like an enticing reverie. His deep, honey-tinted eyes bore into your bite-marked nape, nursing a feral glint, taking cover under his lashes. He clenched his teeth, holding back in fear of hurting you. Oh how much he craved to take you whole, manhandling you just like how you’d confess you wanted him to do. The foundation of self-control was crumbling.
MYDEI's hands slid down your ass, kneading your cheeks apart for easier access in and out of your dripping pussy. When you let out a pathetic whimper in response, he scoffed, “What? Did you not plead with me to go rougher on you?” 
He only received a choked sob that fell from your damp lips. He clicked his tongue, his expectations proven right. Of course you’d get off to something as simple as his words. You’d cum to the sound of his voice alone, and he barely had to try. How lewd—the great Mydeimos’s beloved—easily aroused by a bit of dirty talk. 
You could barely formulate a coherent quip; instead, coating his length in your secretion from top to bottom. He knew this and decided to change his approach. The texture of silk sheets tickled your skin as he flipped you on your back. The absence of his girth was agonizing, but he slammed into you again with a much more aggressive thrust— just like how you wanted. 
“Mngh! Mydei—“
His palm rested on the growing outline on your stomach. “Do you feel this, my precious? The extent of the desire I harbor for you?”
An ear-piercing mewl filled the quarters as MYDEI pressed down without a warning. You felt so full— so fucked by his huge, unforgiving cock. The bulge was so prominent that it had you caging your flushed face away. In turn, a wolfish grin spread on the rough contours of his face. 
“Well, no matter, I won’t be holding back any longer.” The tip of his length teased against your slit, collecting your pooling slick. A pair of fingers rubbed at your sore clit, and he knew how much it drove you insane. His tone was deep, smug, seeping with the want he initially tried to minimize. Now, he was dead serious. MYDEI purred lowly:
“Now… I’ll gladly show you the capacity of a warrior’s stamina.”
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ a/n: got a sci test tomorrow but I did this instead of opening the material... I'm fried
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misctf · 6 months ago
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The Cure for a Break-Up
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“I still can’t believe it.” Josh mumbles, flipping through old pictures on his phone, “I really didn’t see it coming.”
Tanner looked up from his videogame and shrugged, “Dude, it’s a break up. Shit happens.” He scratches his wiry pit hairs, scrunching his nose at the smell of his own BO, “How long are you gonna go on about it?” Josh glares at his roommate, “Just sayin’ dude, gotta bang and go. Keep it simple.”
“Yeah, but Haley...” Josh sighs, “You wouldn’t get it. She wasn’t like one of your random hookups. I met her in high school... We’ve been dating for years... I was gonna propose when we graduated... I...” Tears threatened to fall.
“Fuck dude!” Tanner slams his controlled down, “I fuckin’ lost.” He glares up at his roommate, “You’re killin’ my vibe dude.”
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He walks over to Josh, “Wipe those tears and man the fuck up.” He digs his finger into Josh’s chest, “I could handle a few days of this. Shit, we didn’t say anything when you fucked up on the field last week. But now? It’s gettin’ old roomie.”
“Fuck off Tanner, I...”
“Live a little bro. You’ve been banging the same chick for the last 7 years.” Tanner smirks, “You have a chance to really enjoy yourself now. Be free, bro.”
Josh let out a grunt as Tanner grabs a fistful of his lean pecs and gives them a firm squeeze.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Josh recoils and moves away from his roommate, “I’m not into that... Huh?”
Josh can’t help be feel an inexplainable warmth radiating out from his pecs. He brings a hand to them, the feeling of the fabric against his sensitive nipples causing him to moan. He looks up towards Tanner, who is sporting a smug smirk.
“What did you.... oooooohhhhhhh...” Josh moans as his lean pecs start to swell.
He can feel them press against the fabric of his shirt, straining against it. The two mounds of flesh continue to grow, forming into a pair of squeezable muscle tits. And as Josh lifts his shirt to inspect them, another moan escapes his mouth. Just the feeling of the cool air against his nips and bounceable pecs was enough to cause his dick to stir.
“Oh fuck...” He plays with his pec, biting his lip, “Dude... what...”
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But there’s more to it. Josh looks as his hand seems to thicken and become meatier. Muscle packs on to his forearms and travels up to his shoulders, giving his arms an impressive glow-up. The firm muscles of his bis and tris jutting out, putting even more strain on his tightening shirt. Even his shoulders start to widen, causing his shirt to ride up and expose his stomach, which is contorting and shifting.
“This isn’t possible... Tanner...” Josh grabs his head and closes his eyes, “Tanner I can’t...”
“J-man, ya gotta shut up for once.” Tanner mutters, “Most men would fuckin’ kill for a pair of tits like that.” He walks over and grabs a fistful, “And my man, this is just the start.”
Josh lets out another grunt as his torso expands and widens. Each pulsation sending a wave of pain and pleasure through Josh’s expanding body. Through half-lidded eyes, he looks down and grunts as his shirt finally rips away. His eyes widen in surprise. A red tank-top covers his torso, although truthfully it did little to hide what was underneath. His fat pecs jutted out around it- unable to be contained. And he could appreciate the itching as tiny hairs emerged from his once clean-shaven skin.
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“Give ‘em a squeeze, you know you want to.” Tanner chuckles.
“Fuck yeah...” Josh mutters, realizing he sounds drunk. He brings his meaty hand to his pecs, giving them a tender, loving squeeze, “Oh shit...” He scrunches his nose as the musky smell from his pits tickles his nose, “I smell...”
“Fuckin’ great man.” Tanner interjects, “C’mon, give it a whiff.”
And Josh raises his increasingly muscular arm and does just that. The smell of his own musk sets off something primal in his shrinking brain and he grabs his cock with his meaty hand. Memories and images of himself shift within his mind, where an increasing acceptance of these changes blossoms. Memories of date nights turn into one-night fuck sessions. His dreams of a family shift into a series of kinks and ways to get off.
“Tanner...Please...Don’t....” Josh grunts, a swelling sense of pride in his muscles emerging. A total disregard for anyone else burning away his capacity for deep emotional connections.
"Bro, I told ya." Tanner replies, "Its a lot better this way. Trust me."
Josh wants to argue. To tell him he's wrong. But he realizes with a sense of increasing dread he doesn't recall anything different. No memory of his committed relationship. No desire for anything different. He bites his lip- savoring the feel of his body. His masculinity. His ability to get what he wanted, when he wanted.
“Fuck... why didn’t you do this to me earlier?” He breaths out, continuing to pump his engorged member- its girth and length growing in his calloused hand, “You fuckin’ held out on me, bro.”
“Nah man, I don’t think you wanted this.” Tanner shrugs, “After all you and Haley...”
“Who?” Josh’s voice ragged.
Tanner smirks, “Exactly, broski.”
Josh grunts and pulls the tank-top off- his musk filling the room. He grunts at the site of his meaty pecs, firm abdominal muscles, and the blanket of hair covering his growing body.
“I’m a stud.” He mutters, “A beast.”
“Yeah, yeah Josh.” Tanner replies.
“No for real, dude. Take a fuckin’ look.”
Josh moans as a tattoo becomes engraved in his meaty pec and arm. He looks at it, a grin spreading across his face. He firmly grabs his cock and falls to the couch, pumping relentlessly. He was made for this. A bull with a massive cock. Anyone... everyone would be lucky to pleasure it. He throws his head back, not even registering as his jaw squared out, his eyes dull, and light stubble emerges on his cheeks.
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“Oh god yes.” His voice is deeper, carrying an arrogant air to it, “I’m gonna... I’m....”
He sees his body. The muscle, the hair. The smell of his ripe pits. His massive dick. It felt so right... so good... A deep love for himself bathed his neurons. No one was as good as him.
"Ahhhhhh fuck yes...."
Ropes of sticky cum shoot from his monster of a cock, coating his hairy chest and abdomen. After a few ragged breaths, his dull eyes open and he grins.
“Feel better?” Tanner asks, throwing Josh his tank-top.
“The fuck you talkin’ about?” Josh catches it and wipes away his seed before wearing the tank-top, “Never felt anything but great.”
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“Sure stud.” Tanner sits on the couch, getting back into his videogame.
The two sit in silence, while Josh scrolls through his phone with one hand and paws at his cock with the other.  
“Fuck yeah.” Josh smirks and stands up, “That fairy from econ wants to worship these.” He gives his pec a bounce, “Always knew he wanted to. He’s lucky I’m feeling generous.” Another ding on his phone and his smirk widens, “And that slut from the cheer team wants to meet up later.”
“Look at you go.” Tanner remains focused on his game.
“Pfft have fun with your game, bro.” Josh mumbles, “Wastin’ your time if you ask me.”
Tanner watches as Josh leaves, “Fuckin’ finally. Just need to rank up...” He continues to play his game, no longer bothered by any distractions.
Meanwhile, Josh sat in his car. He always liked to send his next fuck-toy a preview of what was to come. With a satisfied smirk, and a new lease on life, Josh revved his engine and headed off.
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silens-oro · 4 months ago
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Pretty Damn Close
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Not all fics have adult content, but this blog is 18+. Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x f!Reader Domestic fluff/Established Relationship
The Pitt Playlist located here
Synopsis: Mike gets a reminder that he very desperately needed. Word Count: 1,404 Content Warning: None; Reader is in her 30's A/N: I binged The Pitt over a weekend and was immediately enraptured by this man. I haven't posted a fic in a while, so please be kind. Who wants to scream into the void with me about this show?????
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Days off were a rarity for both you and Mike, and when they overlapped you feared pigs would start flying across the skies of Pittsburgh. Sleeping in was an even greater luxury, one you were taking full advantage of in the comfort of Mike’s plush be d. 
Mike’s arm tightened around your waist as he pulled your back closer to his chest, letting you know that he was starting to wake up. He inhaled deeply, then sighed a release before kissing your shoulder tenderly. 
“Morning,” He mumbled against your skin, his beard tickling you as he trailed kisses up to your neck. 
“Afternoon,” You chuckled, knowing you both had slept well past one in the afternoon. Mike had gotten home around eight and you both stayed up until the late hours of the night watching the Penguins game at Anaheim and getting frisky on the couch like a couple of horny teenagers. Needless to say, you were both feeling the late night.
“Ah, shit,” Mike groaned, turning onto his back he kept his arm under you so he could tug you to his chest while rubbing his eyes with his free hand. 
“Thought you were gonna sleep the day away, Sleeping Beauty.” Mike pinched your side playfully in response to your teasing. “Be nice.” You reprimanded softly while tugging a small section of his beard. 
“I am nice,” he grabbed your hand, placing the gentlest kisses to your palm. “Speaking of nice, would it be not nice of me to say we should stay in bed today?”
Jack and Leanne were hosting a barbecue later that afternoon and as much as you also wanted to flake due to your poor choices the night before, you also wanted to not be that friend. Leanne was hosting a get-together for some of the people in her yoga group and invited you and Mike to join in. It wasn't anything crazy, she had said, just some barbecue and drinks while everyone mingled.
“As much as I would love to stay home and have my way with you, it would be a very not nice thing to do, Mike.”
“You can’t tell me you’re not tempted.” He wiggled his eyebrows to butter you up. “We could stay in, order takeout, watch a movie?”
“As tempted as I am to take your offer, any excuse to show off my hot doctor boyfriend to strangers is enough for me to get out of bed.” Mike barked out a laugh he couldn’t contain. 
“Hot doctor boyfriend?” He repeated, beside himself. 
“Yes, my hot doctor boyfriend. I don’t know if you know this, but I hit the jackpot with you.”
“Did you now?” The playful glint in his eyes let you know he’d play along for now. 
“Highly educated, incredibly handsome, thoughtful, compassionate,” You listed off, “A genuinely a good person-” 
“-Oh god-” He cut you off, visibly squirming beneath you. He started to shimmy his way to the side of the bed, but you quickly caught him -laughing- while you pulled him back to the spot he previously occupied. 
“No! Where are you going?“ Your words were broken by giggles coming from both of you. "Come back!" In a quick motion, you straddled his hips, pinning Mike to the bed. 
Your hands cupped his bearded cheeks to keep his gaze on you. “I know it gives you the heebie-jeebies when you have to listen to someone praise the good qualities you have, Mike, but it’s good to hear them once in a while otherwise you lose perspective of yourself to whatever your brain is telling you.”
“I have plenty of some not so great qualities you seem to be sweeping under the rug,” He mumbled once the laughter died down. His fingers twiddled with the hem of the t-shirt you slipped on in the middle of the night -the frayed edges keeping his attention. 
“Like what? You don’t rinse your dishes when you put them in the sink? You leave the same cup on the same corner of the coffee table every single day? That you’re moody sometimes? I think that comes with the whole Emergency Room Attending Physician thing you have going on -just an observation.” Holding your hands up in mock surrender, Mike leveled you with a look. 
“I am also nearly twenty years your senior,” This was a point he brought up out of self-consciousness. You knew it ate at him, even though you didn't see the problem. It took quite a bit of convincing on your part when you began seeing each other that it wasn’t as weird as his brain was making it out to be. A man -who was 48 when you met- dating a then 33 year old was hardly considered robbing the cradle. 
“Which makes you even hotter,” You shut him down, not giving him a second to dwell on it any longer than he obviously already had. “Quite frankly, had you been any younger, I wouldn’t have even glanced your way." Mike snorted. "You’re just making my case for me.” He rolled his eyes. 
“We’re not going to get into the psychology of that,” He chuckled.
“Because you are not a psychologist." You poked Mike on the tip of his nose. "Just because I’m in a happy relationship with an older man does not mean I have daddy issues. I happen to love my father very much, and he also happens to like you.”
“Because we're so close in age,” His quick response had your jaw on the floor. Mike’s bright grin let you know that he had succeeded in making you squirm just as you made him. Tit for tat, if you will. 
“You think you’re clever, Dr. Robinavitch?”
“I have my moments,” You hummed at his response, his grin still beaming up at you. His hands had moved from playing with the ends of your shirt to gently rubbing your hips down to your exposed thighs. 
“Which is exactly why we’re having this conversation. We’re well past due for it, actually.” You could tell the direction of this conversation was killing him, but he needed to hear these things. He gets so stuck in his head sometimes that he begins to spiral, taking your relationship with it -unintentionally. You knew he needed to hear every word that left your mouth, and understand it for the truth that it was. 
Mike wasn’t perfect, but he was pretty damn close. 
On the flip side, Mike spent so long thinking he’d never get to have a person that loved him as much as he loved them who didn’t care about his crazy hours, being called in to work on the few days off he had, missing plans or holidays, not seeing each other with the exception of a few hours at night when he came home dead on his feet. 
His career -and personal lack of balancing his work and personal life- was usually the relationship killer in his experience. Other factors surely came into play, but at the end of the day most women wanted the doctor, but nothing else that came with it and Mike didn’t blame them. 
Then you came along -introduced to Mike through Jack and his wife Leanne- and it felt effortless from the second his hand met yours when you shook it. He didn’t want to believe it then, but laying in his bed with you now made him realize that you were the last piece to the puzzle. The shape that had been missing. 
It was hard to date later in life, as Mike found out through reality check after reality check. Most people wanted to get married, have kids -to build a life. He was pushing 50, running himself ragged at the hospital, and the idea of a baby this late in life sounded like an actual nightmare. While you were in your 30s -still young enough to pursue those things- you didn’t want kids; however, you loved Jake as if he was yours, just as Mike did. Neither of you had any blood relation to the teen, but that didn’t stop you from loving the kid fiercely. He had that effect on just about anyone he met.
That was enough for Mike. As long as he had you, he was more than happy because you fit in a space he didn’t think anyone else would or want to. 
Gratitude was something Mike thought about a lot more these days. He felt it when he woke up next to you nearly every morning when you started staying overnight at his place more and more often, and as you leaned down to tenderly kiss his lips, he thanked whoever was listening that you had fallen into his life when you did. 
“Now get up,” You kissed Mike once more, knocking him out of his thoughts. “Jack will have your ass if you bail. You know he hates having people he doesn’t know over. God knows Leanne is trying to put the poor man in an early grave with the socialization. He needs someone he knows there.” Mike let his hands fall to the bed as you crawled off of him and scampered over to the en-suite bathroom with a fond smile. 
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be sure to throw the life preserver out for him.” He ran a hand through his hair, letting his head rest back on his pillow for a few moments more before you popped your head out of the bathroom. "I owe him that much, at least."
“As a good friend should. Another good quality to add to the list for our next talk.”
“Enough!” The bathroom door closed milliseconds before a pillow had hit it, but Mike could still hear your giggling from inside.
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merrinla · 2 years ago
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Portrait spamming
Recent discovery. If you click on the portraits of the characters like crazy, they will react to it. And the developers had a lot of fun coding these reactions xD
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Tav / Dark Urge
normal - I'm awake! Mostly. - I'm starting to get a headache. - Must be the tadpole. - Quit knocking around in there! - A thousand needlepricks in my rotten skull.
combat -Ahhhhhhhh! Okay, I feel better. - I have an itch in the worst place. - Is being a mind flayer so bad? - Just waiting to venture forth here. - I'm maiming as fast as I can!
stealth - What's that ticking? - Is it me? Am I ticking? - Bomb in my head about to go off. Great. - Ah, well. I had a good run.
Astarion
normal - Why do beautiful people taste better? It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities. - Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit. - More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny. - Villains! Dissemble no more, I admit the deed! Tear up the floor - here, here! It is the beating of his hideous hea- oh, no, that's his brain. Where did I leave that heart?
combat: - I'm trying to focus on murder. - *Humming.* - I shot a svirfneblin in Menzoberranzan just to watch him die. - I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.
stealth - Shhh. Just think sneaky thoughts. - Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. - Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting idiots. - I've got a brand new torture chamber, so come and play with me.
Karlach
normal - NOTE TO ACTOR/DIRECTOR: Blow a raspberry at the player. - Don't. Poke. The Karlach. - Who am I? - My eye!
combat - Eyes on the prize - we need to win this! - Not every soldier should've made it out of training. - Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner. - I ought to just burn this whole thing down.
stealth - My back can't take much more of this. - Not now, I'm being a sneak! - I'm getting too old for this nonsense. - I'm not built to crouch.
Gale
normal - I hope Halaster takes good care of Tara while I'm away. - Sembian wine; Cormyrian boar; Waterdhavian conversation. It's the little things you miss while on the road. - Oh, what a tangled Weave we web! - All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.
combat - Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails. - Don't make me go all Edwin Odesseiron on you. - Get. Out. Of. My. Head. - I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.
stealth - You made me hide, don't make me come seek you. - Gods, it's like trying to sleep with a mosquito in the room. - A little privacy please. - Stop it - that tickles.
Wyll
normal - Could do for a brew. - Where there's a 'Wyll', there's a 'y'. - Ever get the sense that someone's watching? - So two halflings walk under a bar...
combat - Can't hear myself think! - Wear your scars proudly. - As my father once told me: 'Can we get on with it?' - I find moderation is key.
stealth - Bad time for an itch. - Could do for a brew. - So two halflings walk under a bar... - Shush. No, really. Shush.
Lae'zel
normal - Must everyone be so exhausting? - Weapons high. Standards higher. - Is perfection too much to ask? - Pride is a virtue.
combat - I will know my queen! - There is no right or wrong, only truth. - What is the point, if not victory? - You are right to fear me.
stealth - Hush already. - There is no wisdom in madness. - Is perfection too much to ask? - There is but one way. Vlaakith.
Shadowheart
all modes - I wonder how I'll feel when I remember everything. - Strange. I've had more freedom this past while than my whole life... - Have to keep focused. Can't afford to get attached - to anyone. - If I succeed, maybe I'll be allowed a pet... ugh, stop being silly.
Halsin / his voice is currently bugged :(
normal - What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb... - Such attention... I never realised I was so popular. - Are you feeling lonely, perhaps? - Unwise, perhaps, to poke a bear this much...
сombat - Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe. - Perhaps try attacking the enemy? - Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities. - You are insistent, are you not?
stealth - Most consider it unwise to poke a bear. - My, you are eager, are you not? - Please. I am trying to be stealthy. - Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.
Jaheira
normal - Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too. - I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want. - My, such strong wrists. - Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you? - Please go poke the ranger instead.
combat - You have my attention - now do something with it. - What? What do you want!? - Do you know, I begin to wish they had never brought me back. - Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.
stealth - Dry those sweaty palms and let us try this again, shall we? - Argh, my knees! Oh. It was a twig. - Would that I could hide from you, too. - Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.
Minsc
normal - ARGH! My EYE, Boo! They went for my EYE! - Know that if you poke Boo, no higher dimension will keep you safe! - Heehee. Heeheeheehee. - Well, Boo? How do you want to do this?
сombat - Are you perchance a squeaky wheel in need of a kick? - I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness. - I begin to grow annoyed. It is well for you that Boo does not let me learn the bad words! - Ignore them, Boo. Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.
stealth - A little to the left? But not so hard you make me giggle. - Boo...? Are you dancing down there, or...? - Hush! I am surprising Boo for his birthday! He is... uh... eh... how old do hamsters get...? - I am the night. A pity, then, that it is so bright out.
Minthara
all modes - You had my attention, now you have my fury. - Phlar Lolth ssinssrickla. - Your suffering will be spectacular. - Stop, or die.
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echoes-of-a-dream · 4 months ago
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mini me | matt murdock
matt murdock masterlist
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synopsis: matt comes home from a long day of work only to get attacked and easily beaten up. luckily for his attackers, they're too cute to get the full wrath of the devil. unluckily for said attackers, he will have retribution--and it will be swift. or: a slice-of-life for matt, reader, and their kidditos.
established relationship | kid fic | married couple | literally just fluff | la lectora habla español por una frase (the reader speaks spanish for one phrase) | inspired by this post by @hellskitchenswhore and this post by @courtforshort15
Matt hears laughter before he gets to the door.
"Okay, bubs, great job," he hears you say. "Uncle Foggy is going to love these pictures."
Four heartbeats thud in the apartment as he opens the door, quiet in an attempt to not wake the slower-and-steadier-than-normal quick one coming from the crib in the bedroom. Three come from the living room, the two younger ones much faster than the older. He sets down his briefcase and removes his shoes, loosening his tie as he makes his way toward you three. Your back is to him and you're entirely focused on your activity of taking pictures of the kids, making this a perfect opportunity to surprise you; he wasn't supposed to get home this early, but the case wrapped up sooner than expected. It was more tiring than most cases, so he just came home rather than returning to the office, too tired to read through more legal documents. And causing you to jump three feet in the air? More than enough reward. Matt grins to himself, pressing a finger to his lips to make sure the kids don't say anything.
He gets closer and puts his hands on your hips, causing you to jolt--but not nearly as much as usual. He frowns as you merely turn your head, tilting it up for a peck on the lips he easily gives, calmly greeting him with a "Welcome home, babe."
There's no more time for conversation as he's jumped by his seven-year-old daughter, Jackie, named after his dad. "Daddy!" She yells as he releases you to catch her.
"Oh no! I'm being attacked!" He says as he 'fights' his oldest. To you, he adds, "You didn't jump." It's phrased as a statement, but you can hear the underlying question.
"Matt. Matty. Matthew, my love." He's pretty sure you're recording this. "Your children--fortunately for me--inherited your incredibly expressive eyes. I knew you were coming."
His huff of only half-faked displeasure at his surprise being ruined is interrupted as he lets out a little oof as a small hand punches his abdomen none-too-gently. Four-year-old-Michael, or Mikey (after Matt's middle name--you weren't a huge fan of the alliteration in Mikey's name, but Matt convinced you eventually) has joined the battle as a foot uses his as a futile step-stool to try to climb up him. He overdramatically doubles over with a groan, allowing Jackie to switch tactics and jump onto his back, hanging on his neck. There's a bit of restriction on his airflow, but he prefers it over, you know, having all his daughter's weight on one foot. It's not enough to make him pass out, at any rate.
"Mommy! Sword!" Jackie calls out as Matt drops to his knees, allowing her feet to touch the ground as she maintains the chokehold, so that it isn't as tight. Mikey continues pummeling Matt, no regard as to where he throws the punches but keeping them coming. He's not quite sure what the strange feel is from his son's hands, but is too caught up puzzling out the request for a sword to give it his attention. One of Jackie's hands leaves his throat to make a grabby motions in the air, and you're only too happy to fulfill your daughter's request, grabbing the plastic sword from the opposite counter--he can hear the shifts in air currents, locates it in his mind--and passes it to Jackie.
But Matt is faster.
"Sword?" He repeats as he unhooks Jackie and flips her onto her back, gently lowering her to the ground and pinning her. He tickles her, wracking his brain for information. Now that he thinks about it, he vaguely remembers you mentioning a costume birthday party for Mikey's best friend, Riley.
"She's-" You're cut off by a grumble from Mikey. No, not grumble. Growl. Or at least, as close to a growl as a four-year-old can get. He charges Matt headfirst, then, piledriving at top speed into his father and causing Matt to lose balance and land on the ground.
"Don' you dawe," Mikey says, register lower than usual. You're still working on pronouncing 'r's rather than 'w's, so it takes Matt everything in him not to laugh at what sounds like a four year old attempting the Batman voice. For your part, you have no such compunctions.
He allows Mikey to get in a few hits, feel like he's winning, while Jackie, no longer pinned, springs to her feet and takes the sword, pressing the point into his throat.
"Stay down, bad guy!"
"Yeah, s'ay down!"
"Oh, no! You've got me!" Matt grouses.
"Good work, guys," you input, smirking as you kneel beside your husband. He turns his head, sticking a tongue out at you. "What do we think should be his punishment?"
"Tickles!" Jackie, ever the ringleader, decides.
"Yeah, tickles!" Mikey agrees, ever the mimic.
Matt gasps in overdramatic horror. "No, not tickles! Anything but tickles!"
You click your tongue in mock sympathy. "Sorry, Mr. Bad Guy."
Matt has trained himself not to react, but for his kids, he'll gladly throw any training out the window, writhing far more than necessary for the delightful sound of his two oldest's giggles. He'd do far worse to get such a taste of what must be heaven. His pleas and 'no's, too, are theatrical, to the point that even you are laughing at his antics and there's no hiding that grin. After a minute, he's had enough, though. "You'll regret the day you messed with me, the horrible Mr. Bad Guy!" He threatens exaggeratedly, easily rolling over the kids and tickling them both. Jackie squeals and Matt winces as the sound seems to wake the littlest Murdock, Daisy, named for Sister Maggie, from her nap. Honestly, he's surprised she didn't wake sooner with all the ruckus.
"Help, Mommy!" Mikey cries.
"I would, but Mr. Bad Guy is too much for me alone, I need reinforcements. I'll be right back."
"No! No we-fowemints!" Mikey says, but it's too late--you're already gone. "N- no!" He gasps out, but is laughing too hard
"Da- addy, st- ahp!" Jackie tries, also fighting through giggles.
"Oh, yeah? What'll you give me?"
"In- in- infor- ma- ha- tion!"
Matt pauses, allowing the two to catch their breath. He hears Daisy quiet and you begin to make your way back to him. "Oh, really? What kind of information?" He hears you appear behind him, but pretends not to notice.
"Okay, Daisy-doo, there's Daddy, you're gonna get 'im, okay?" You stage whisper.
"Where Mommy is!"
"Oh, really?" He plays dumb.
"Yeah!" Mikey chimes in. "Wigh' behin' you!"
"Get him, Dais!" You say as you gently set your daughter on his back, one of Matt's hands coming up to support her there before you release your grip.
"No!" Matt calls. "My weakness! Babies! The cuter, the more lethal!" It's more a joke for you than the others, and he appreciates your snort at his attempt at humor.
"Tricked you!" Jackie sings as Daisy grips Matt's hair, mouthing at his back as if it's a teething ring. Matt "topples" forward, lowering himself between Mikey and Jackie in a one-armed pushup and removing his hand so Daisy can crawl around as she pleases.
"Yeah!" Mikey chimes in. "Twicked you, Daddy! Now you captuowed!"
"You'll never take me alive!"
"Sorry, darling," You say amusedly, turning his face towards you. "We found cure for Bad-Guy-itis. True Love's kiss."
"No, no! Please no!" He's given away by the curl of a smile peeking through.
You sigh heavily. "I'm afraid so." To Jackie and Mikey, you order, "Hold him down while I administer the cure."
Matt pretends to thrash while his oldest two comply, Daisy content to have moved mouthing at his back to gnawing toothlessly at the curve of his neck. His head stays still as you grin and lean in, pressing a kiss to his lips that he happily reciprocates, thrashing growing in intensity and gently bucking the kids around, who giggle as they hold on, before he stills. You pull away and he blinks slowly, as if waking up. "Wha- Where am I?"
Your serious tone is belied by the grin in your voice. "Welcome back, Mr. Murdock."
"You got sick!" Jackie chimes in as she climbs off, tired of not talking. "Mommy fixed you!"
"Yeah! Mommy kissed it all bettow!"
"Well, thank you," Matt says smoothly. He uses one arm to scoop Daisy off of his neck while rolling over, cradling her, as he sits up. "However can I show my gratitude?"
"Oh, it wasn't me," you deflect. "It was these other two heroes that saved you."
"Yeah! Saved you!" Mikey puffs out his chest proudly.
"Oh?" Matt's amusement shines through. "And who might they be?"
"Guess!" Jackie exclaims.
You laugh. "Jackie, baby, Daddy's got to feel it, remember?"
She grabs Matt's hand and yanks it to feel her jacket. "Guess!"
His hands run along the leather, over the fingerless gloves, jeans, and what must be a cotton t-shirt or tank-top. His eyebrows rise in confusion. "I thought you were a pirate?"
It was the wrong thing to say. Jackie huffs in frustration. "No!"
"If you're mad, use your words, baby," you chide gently. "Maybe let's let Daddy figure out Mikey's outfit, and then he can guess?"
Mikey excitedly thrusts a hand forward, accidentally smacking Matt's face. Matt snorts even as he coaches, "Calm down, buddy." He feels up the arm--a long-sleeve shirt, what must be... gauze? Why is gauze wrapped around his son's hands?
"Face, Daddy!" Mikey urges. Matt raises his hands and feels the mask and resists the urge to bust out laughing. He allows himself a large grin of amusement, a few more chuckles.
"I see I got brought down by the Daredevil," he observes. "Thank you, Mr. Devil."
"I'm the bestest!" Mikey agrees. "Bestest hewo in the whole wide wold!"
"No, you're not! I am!" Jackie argues.
Matt steps in before it can devolve. "However did I not recognize you? Thank you for your help, Jessica Jones."
"Sword Jessica Jones!" Jackie corrects vehemently.
"Right. Thank you, Sword Jessica Jones. And Miss Jones, Mr. Daredevil, I think there can be two bestest superheroes in the whole wide world."
Two responses hit him at the same time. "No!" "No, thewe can'!"
"How about you guys go grab Riley's gift and put on your shoes?" You divert. "Then we can settle who the best hero is."
Jackie takes off before yelling, "Last one's a rotten egg!"
"Hey! No faiw!" Mikey runs after her, having not gotten the same head start.
Matt turns to you as you offer a hand to help him up. Being the good, loving, exemplary husband he is, he instead tugs you down, moving Daisy out of the way so that when you land on him you won't crush your seven-month-old. "Hey," he greets.
You smack his chest lightly. "Asshole."
Matt gasps. "Mrs. Murdock! Such language, and around a child, too!"
"Matthew, I will divorce you."
He smirks. "Gonna need a lawyer for that."
"That's why I've got Fo- oh, no, you don't." You squeak as you avoid his pinch aimed for the sensitive spot on your side. He pouts, prompting you to give him a light kiss to turn that frown upside down. You turn to where your kids ran through, hearing bickering, and sigh, resting your head on his shoulder. "I really don't want to deal with this."
"I've got it," Matt offers, moving to push you off his lap and stand, but you resist.
"Just give me a minute, please." You don't want to move from the nice warm cocoon of being between his arm, wrapped around you tightly, and chest. "They've been at it all day, except for the two minutes I made them smile for pictures and just now, when the one thing that brought them together was destroying you."
"I'm glad I can be good for morale," Matt jokes, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Speaking of, how did...?"
"Sword Jessica Jones?" You finish knowingly.
"Yeah. And mini-me."
"Well, Mikey was actually the first on the costume front." At that, Matt makes a noise of pleased surprise. "Actually, let me correct myself. Riley was the first--she's going as Black Widow, her favorite superhero. So Mikey decided to go as his favorite, as well."
Matt lets out a hum, honored. Pride and fondness fill him, and he can tell from the sound of your smile in your voice that you feel much the same. "And Jackie?"
Your expression twists, a little more pinched. "She also wanted to go as Daddy. Which led to a fight and since Mikey came up with the idea first, I said he could go as Daredevil."
"How does Jess feel about being the second best option?"
"Very proud. She donated her leather jacket for the cause."
Matt chuckles. "I thought I smelled her. Figured she was just letting Jackie use it, didn't put the pieces together then."
"Yeah."
You're both silent for a moment, until Matt can't keep the question out of his head anymore. "So, what was up with the sword?"
"Jackie wanted to be authentic."
"And authentic means sword?"
"No." You tilt your head to gaze up at your husband. "Authentic meant carrying a bottle of booze."
"And you talked her down to a sword."
"And I talked her down to a sword," you confirm. Before you can talk further, Matt gently but efficiently moves you and stands suddenly, passing Daisy to you. It's just in time for you to hear a crash and get up in an instant, both headed towards where there is now the sound of crying.
"Mommy! Daddy!"
"A sword I assume she just used on her brother?" You ask, frustrated. It's been a long day and this just takes the cake.
"A sword she tried to use on her brother, who in avoiding it ran straight into the dresser. Knocked over the plant."
You enter the room to find, sure enough, the plant is on the ground, dirt spilled across the room and into the bag holding Riley's gift--which is also on its side. Mikey sits on the ground, cradling his head and crying, while Jackie stands there staring at him in horror. When she spots you and Matt, she immediately starts on her defense. "He started it!"
"Jackie," Matt admonishes, kneeling beside Mikey. In a gentle, quiet tone, he greets his son, "Hey, buddy, can you move those hands for me? Let Daddy check on that boo-boo?"
Tearily, Mikey complies, while you move towards Jackie. "Are you okay?" You check in first. She nods mutely. "Okay. Give me the sword, please." She shakes her head. You count down from ten, exhausted, fed up with the fighting, but refusing to take it out on her. "Jackie. If you can't handle having the sword, you can't have the sword. Give it to me, please."
"No."
"Jacqueline. I won't ask again. I will count down from three, and if I do not have a sword in my hand by the number three, you can stay home from the party with myself and Daisy, and Mikey will go with Daddy."
"No!" She stomps a foot. "How come Mikey gets everything? He gets to be Daddy! How come I don't get my sword?"
"Jacqueline Murdock." It's Matt this time, voice calm and even but not without soberness. He doesn't glance up as he affixes a bandage to Mikey's head. "Give your mother the sword."
She huffs but complies. "I hate you!"
You look to the ceiling. Señor, dame paciencia. "Thank you for giving me the sword, Jackie," you say. "I'm very proud of you. May I give you a hug?"
"No! I hate you! I don't wanna be with you!"
Okay, no hug then. "That's alright." You love your daughter, you love your daughter, you love your daughter. "I love you. Do you still want to go to the party?"
"No! You messed it all up!"
Matt presses a kiss to Mikey's head, having finished patching him up. "Jackie, please use kind words," Matt cuts in. "We can be angry, but we respect others even when we are angry, okay? They are still human."
Jackie ignores her father. "How come Mikey gets to have fun?"
Matt appears to have got it, so you stay silent. "You can have fun if you want, sweetheart. You just can't have the sword today. Would you still like to come to the party?"
Your oldest daughter hesitates before sullenly nodding. Tension leaves you as you mutter a Thank you in your husband's direction, who tilts his head in a silent you're welcome.
"I'm very proud of you," Matt continues. "Now, can you tell Mikey you're sorry?"
"'M sorry, Mikey." It's a half-assed apology at best, but it's an apology nonetheless.
You reintroduce yourself to the conversation. "Great job, sweetheart." Despite the encouragement--or maybe because of it--Jackie refuses to look at you. "Mikey?"
"I f'give you," he responds quietly.
Matt presses another kiss to the mop of his son's hair. "How late are we running?" He asks you.
"With or without cleaning this up?"
"Without."
"With this whole thing... about ten minutes."
"Okay. Jackie, please take Riley's gift to the car." At your look, he shrugs. "A little dirt never hurt anyone."
You lovingly roll your eyes and opt not to respond. "Can you grab Daisy? I'm bringing dessert."
"Yeah. Mikey, you mind following Jackie to load up?"
You stop your son on the way out, giving him a tight one-armed hug that he easily reciprocates, burying his head in your chest--larger than usual right now from breastfeeding--and causing you to wince slightly at the pressure. Matt smirks and mouths Like father, like son. "I'm very proud of you and I love you," you make sure to tell Mikey, faux-glaring at your husband simultaneously. You're a parent; multitasking is your profession.
"L'k like Daddy," he sniffles into your shirt.
"Yes, you do," you agree. "The blood on the mask makes it look more authentic. But next time let's go with fake injuries if we want to look like Daddy, okay? I don't want you getting as many boo-boos as really looking like Daddy would take." Matt coughs to cover a laugh at you pointed tone.
"Mkay," Mikey agrees. You squeeze him tightly, which he reciprocates, before releasing him and letting him take off after his older sister.
You brush your pants with your free hand and stand, exhaustion reigning. "They've been like this all day?" Matt asks.
"Try longer. More like all week."
Matt makes a noise of sympathy. "I'm sorry I wasn't-"
"No. You've been at court all day, every day. It's not your fault."
"It's just, sometimes-"
"Matt."
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"I would not be married to a man who neglects his children. You have had an abnormally consuming case. If you regularly spent all week too busy for your children, I would have no qualms leaving. But you do not. This is an outlier."
"I still feel bad."
"I'm afraid you're actually not allowed to do that unless I approve."
"Oh?" His hand slides around your waist, other one coming to cradle Daisy's head. She coos at the contact.
"Yup. Had Foggy put it in the contract."
"Mm. I don't recall reading that."
Your own free hand comes up to the nape of his neck, working through the hair there. "We didn't put it in the braille version."
"I'm afraid that counts as fraud, Mrs. Murdock. I might have to sue you."
"That's okay." He hears the veiled laughter in your throat. "I know this really hot lawyer who can represent me."
"Sweetheart, if you say Foggy-"
"No, he's this blind guy, very sexy, very smart. You might have heard of him. Matt Murdock?"
Matt chuckles. "That might get a little confusing, representing two different sides. Pretty sure that might be called a conflict of interest."
"Huh. I guess you shouldn't sue me, then, if it's too confusing."
It's a full laugh, now. "Touché." Matt cocks his head suddenly, before dropping his head to your shoulder with a groan.
"Fighting again?" You ask knowingly.
His Yeah is muffled by your shirt. Like father, like son, indeed. He lifts his head. "You want to sit this one out? I can take them?"
You shake your head. "I need a break from elementary school speak. Some actual adult conversations." You pull away, and Matt lets you, taking Daisy and following you into the kitchen where you grab the cheesecake brownies you were asked to bring.
Matt's mouth and eyebrows quirk suggestively, voice lowering--not quite Devil-voice, more bedroom-level. "We could see if someone wants to have the kids over for a sleepover tonight. Have some... adult conversations of our own."
You grin back at him. "Renegotiate some terms of that marriage contract?"
"More like fulfill."
You laugh. "I could be amenable to such an idea," you agree. Your words cause Matt to speed up and you to laugh again, following him out. "What's got you in such a rush?"
"Easy." He gives you a peck as he locks the door from the townhouse to the garage. "Faster we get there, faster we can come back. I want a whole set of Avengers."
"That wasn't in the contract, dear."
"Maybe not in yours, but..." He winks. "It was in the braille one."
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somuchforahobby · 6 months ago
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what didn't stay in vegas
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Summary: Ever since your arrival at the BAU Derek had been constantly flirting with you, but not his usual Garcia-sweet talk, he was all in. You had gotten used to it and actually rehearsed your comebacks. But there was someone who wasn’t so fond of it. Tags: Secret relationship / Derek is a flirttt / Hotch is jealous Warnings: once again I did not dare to write s m u t Words: 1.5K GIFS belong to: @hqtchner Read on AO3
“Hey, babygirl, how about we head for some drinks to relax after this?” He asked you as the team walked out of the precinct. 
“Oh, that’d be great! Spence can give us some tricks to survive in his hometown” You actually were interested in the offer.
“I meant in my room, sweetheart.”  He winked at you.
“Nice try, Morgan.” You laughed on his face. “We’re in sin city and I ain’t no saint.” You turned to see your secret boyfriend for a second before anybody could notice. His eyes darkened and a small smile appeared on his face.
“Sin with me, darling. I swear it’ll be worth it.” His hand landed on your waist but you removed it with your elbow.
“Those who brag are never good.” You answered over your shoulder.
“There’s only one way to find out.”
“My God, get a damn room.” Emily broke the tension, tired of the exchange, and the rest of the team went quiet.
~
“It’s starting to get annoying” Aaron said against your lips once you were alone in his hotel room. “I will suspend him” he punctuated every word with a kiss.
“Don’t be so resentful, he doesn’t know I’m yours” 
“He doesn’t know what?” He pretended not to listen so you’d repeat. You laughed.
“That I’m yours” You gave him a peck on the lips.
“Besides, you can’t blame a man for trying” You kissed him again and your hands quickly worked his tie to undo the knot. A soft moan left his mouth.
“No, I can’t” he pushed you against the wall to attack your neck, while unbuttoning your shirt.
“Just because you got there earlier” 
He stopped his way to your chest to stand back and looked you in the eyes.
“Is that the only reason why?” His hand was on your jaw, holding your face upwards to maintain eye contact. He was analyzing you.
“Of course not” you bit your lower lip aware of the effect it had on him but with his thumb set it free by pulling your chin.
His eyes dangled through your face, not certain of what he was looking for.
“Oh, come on, honey, just fuck my brain’s out.” Your hands were working on his buckle but he grabbed both your wrists, lifting them above your head, holding them with one hand while the other returned to cup your cheek.
“Mmm” his furrowed brows accusing you of a crime you didn’t commit. “I don’t think you’ve earned it”
“I was real’ good today!” He smiled at your attempt. “I did not tease you in front of the team and I almost didn’t look at you.” Your innocent eyes were driving him mad.
“But you flirted with other men.”
“No, I rejected the flirtations from other men.”
“Mmm” he kept you in the same position, examining your micro expressions.
After a few seconds in silence he kissed you devotedly and softly. “I’m not really in the mood for a role-play today, honey.” He let go of your wrists and wrapped his arms around you, “I really need you.” He’d barely separate your mouths to talk. You just followed his lead to the bed, mimicking the same tenderness he was applying on your body.
~
“Is everything okay?” You asked after you finally came down from your high, head resting on his chest.
“Yeah, it’s just—“ he yawned, “not in the mood to tie you and spank you after all we saw today” he kissed your head sweetly. “Rest, you need it.” He tickled your ribs before turning your body sideways to spoon you.
As it was usual, you fell asleep in his arms.
~
His lips tracing your spine woke you up.
“What time is it?” You asked, still half asleep.
“5:45” He answered and kept kissing your bare back.
“Time for my walk of shame” you turned to see him and placed a peck on his lips. You adored the sight of him in the morning, without stress, without furrowed brows, all half lidded eyes, disheveled hair and warm skin.
“What if I steal this for today?” You asked, trying on his discarded shirt from last night.
“Why would you?” He asked, amused, still lying on the bed.
“So I can brag about the amazing man I spent the night with.” You teased him.
“It has my initials embroidered in the cuffs, I don’t think it’s a good idea” 
“I can fold them”
“No.” It was an order. “I wore it the whole day, it’s dirty.” You smelled the arms.
“It smells like you.”
“So, sweat” He laughed.
“Lotion,” you started walking round the bed “soap”, another step, “manly”, another step and he laughed, “smells like amazingly hot man” you straddled his lap and his hands quickly found your legs.
“I don’t approve”
“You’re not my boss in here.” You leaned down for another passionate kiss.
~
“Why have you chosen to punish me today?” Derek asked you the minute you crossed the precinct door.
“What you mean?” You asked, puzzled.
“You are hiding your body, babygirl, that’s just mean.” His face was filled with fake pain.
You ended up styling the shirt with straight jeans and converse, folding the cuffs to your elbow. It almost looked like a normal oversized shirt.
You took a glimpse of Aaron and he was reading some files in front of him, completely ignoring the conversation.
“That’s a man’s shirt” Spencer pointed out and the edges of your boyfriend’s mouth curled up.
“Is it?” Emily grabbed your shoulder and looked in your eyes. You only nodded. “You dirty girl.” She clapped and smiled.
“I also take trophies from my victims.” You gave the team a proud grin. Derek sighed in frustration.
When you looked up again, Aaron still had a proud smile on his lips.
~
You ended up wrapping the case that day and flying back at night.
“Now that we’re free, let’s talk about your victim.” Emily asked, she was in the seat in front of you.
“Well, he is great in bed.” You started off strong and saw Aaron blush on the other side of the plane as he read the newspaper. “A true gentleman, can’t wait to see him again.”
“Too bad you left him in Vegas” Derek interrupted your conversation.
“Yeah, maybe he could’ve given you some tips on how to treat women.” You answered, amused.
“And, where did you meet him?” JJ continued the interrogation after Morgan walked away.
“Uh” You struggled finding an answer and saw Aaron smiling even harder. “In the hotel.”
“What? Where? How?” Emily was yelling at this point. “You always get laid with random guys on the way and I never understand how you even meet them.”
“I’mma tell Hotch you’re not focused on the cases but on crossing all the states off your list!” JJ threatened.
“We eyed each other during dinner in the hotel, after you guys left to the Casino we got to talking, one thing led to another and that’s that.” You were a great storyteller and even better liar.
“Damn, you. Maybe I’m getting old and rusty.” Emily was analyzing you.
“I happen to know that it is not a problem” you teased. 
“How old?”
“I didn’t ask, my guess is around 45” 
“Single?”
“Mmm” you certainly had not thought about the civil status of your fake fuck buddy. “Yeah, he wasn’t wearing a ring.” 
“Nobody wears a ring in Vegas.”
“Baby, you out there fucking married man instead of staying home, ts ts ts” Derek scolded you.
“Fuck, it’s freezing here.” You wanted to shift the conversation & started unfolding your cuffs to cover yourself but you remembered the embroidery and decided to stand up and get a sweater from your bag. When you passed through Derek, he caught your wrists screaming.
“It has his name embroidered!” You freed yourself before he could read it.
“Leave me alone, Derek.” You were getting upset and Aaron raised his eyes from what he was reading to check on you.
“Morgan” he alerted, bossely.
You were opening the luggage compartment trying to reach for your bag, Derek chased you trying to read your cuffs.
“Derek, leave me alone” You were squirming under him while reaching for your bag.
“Babygirl” him laughing was the only thing avoiding him to restrain you. “Let me read it!”
“Get over it!” He grabbed your wrist and brought it close to his eyes.
“Morgan!” Your boyfriend’s voice made him drop your wrist and take a step back. Aaron was already standing next to you two with his usual frown. “Leave my girl the fuck alone.” He put an arm around your waist while the other got your bag and handed it to you. All while maintaining eye contact with Derek.
Derek showed his palms in surrender and walked away, the rest of the team all had their mouths open in shock.
Once you were alone enough you turned to see Aaron, surely surprised as well.
“I had enough of hiding” he said before leaning down to kiss you.
“Well that didn’t stay in Vegas” you heard Emily’s voice chuckling in the back.
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tinyluvs · 2 years ago
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ok so after reading about Spencer’s first blowjob…what do you think about the first time he ever eats out? 👀 man’s all “oh I read about this hold on” like it’s fkin quantum theory and he’s intent on trying all these different “techniques” he’s read about but then he tastes reader for the first time and just goes absolutely feral like a man starved 🫣
i see the vision, i gotchu, enjoy my angel!!! this carries on from !! this prompt !! but you don’t have to read it *mdni!!*
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time moves slower as you rest your head on spencer's hip, humming deeply when his fingers press against your scalp, "you okay, angel?" he asks once his post orgasm haze passes, the fog around his brain finally clearing after god only knows how long
"i'm great baby," you reply, lifting your head up to look at him, smiling softly when he traces a knuckle over your cheek bone. he looks at you, thinking, you can practically see cogs turning behind his eyes, "out with it,"
a breath catches in your boyfriend throat, "can i return the favour?" he asks, voice barely a whisper, "please," fingers ghost over your neck, pressing only over your pulse
“spence,” you breathe a little harder, knowing he can feel your heartbeat racing under his fingers, “please, don’t think you have to,”
the insides of your thighs are already damp and sticky, coated with your arousal from your previous activities. you clench slightly, not so subtly rubbing your thighs together
spencer sits up, his head shaking slightly as he does, “no i want to, please honey,” he presses, leaning over your body to kiss the corner of your mouth, “please”
“okay,” you answer simply, words failing you as he uses his body to push against yours, pressing you down into the couch cushions
air gets trapped in between your cheeks, puffed out while you watch your boyfriend hike your shirt up, only enough to expose your stomach and hips before he dips, dragging his lips over your ribs all too slowly
“can i?” he mumbles as he gets to your hips and your head tilts, confusion taking over as you’d been to occupied watching him instead of feeling his fingers teasing at the waistband of your shorts
spencer looks up at you in time to watch you nod, eyes wide and mouth slack, the previously trapped air escaping in a gentle whimper. he lifts your hips slightly, dragging your shorts and panties down your legs, letting them drop onto the floor, out of sight
“hey, are you sure?” you ask again, knuckle hooking under his chin to turn his attention to you. he turns in your hold, kissing your palm before sliding further down between your legs
big hands slide up the back of your thighs, blunt nails barely digging into your skin as he pushes your legs apart, spreading you open inches away from his face
spencer's tongue darts across his bottom lip, his gaze focused on where you're already wet, "i, uhm," he whispers, "read about how to do this,"
you can tell he's nervous, a slight frown forming over his forehead though it doesn't stick around when you smooth over it gently with your thumb, "you read about it? angel, it's okay if you don't get it right straight away" you assure him as he looks up at you briefly
the anticipation is killing you, though you'd never tell him. having him between your thighs, eyes dark while he takes the situation and you in, has you dripping, a soft whine passing your lips as you feel it happen
your boyfriend snaps out of his state of staring at the noise, he sighs gently, happily, before surging forwards. immediately your back arches off of the couch as his lips press against your folds
"fuck, spence," you gasp, fingers tangling into his hair to hold him there. he parts his lips before dragging his tongue up your centre, circling cruelly around your clit, "oh my god," you moan, loudly
this spurs spencer on further, his body pushes up further between your legs, his broad shoulders holding your thighs apart while he eats you out like a starved man, his eyes shut, lashes tickling his cheeks
distantly you wonder if he has done this before but your ability to think leaves you and makes you helpless and completely at spencer's mercy. he pulls away from you, barely, a string of spit connecting him to your cunt.
while he uses his shoulders to keep your thighs spread, his hands become free and you feel them before you see them. his thumb dips over your sticky hole before sliding upwards, bumping against your clit
"please baby, don't tease," you whine, chest heaving and fingers tightening in his hair, pulling him back towards where you need him and he obliges, leaning in to kiss your clit before sucking on it lightly
every moan, whine and whimper that leaves your body has spencer working harder, spit dribbling from the corners of his mouth and over the inside of your thighs as he starts to hum and moan against you
spencer sucks hard on your clit, obscene noises fill the room as he leans into you, one hand on your hip holding you down and the other stroking your thigh, moving far too slowly towards your cunt
you hold your breath, feeling his fingers tease at you, your attempts to clench around the tips of his fingers don't go unnoticed. he gives you what you want slowly, barely pressing a finger into you before pulling away again
"oh god," you whimper, hips rolling underneath his forearm. spencer hums against you, sending vibrations rumbling over your clit , "this is your first time?" you question as your thighs start to shake
"yeah," spencer replies, taking a break to breathe, his eyes focused on his own fingers. without warning he presses a finger into you, his gaze traveling up your body as you cry out and clench around him
"fuck, i'm not going to last," you pant whilst throwing your head back. your nails dig into his shoulder, guiding him back towards your body as heat starts to form in the pits of your stomach
slowly spencer fucks his finger into you, pulling out and pushing back in before adding another, again, without warning. the stretch burns in the best way possible as he works you open
"i love you," spencer mumbles, not giving you a chance to reply as he delves back into you, his tongue lapping over your clit with earnest. your orgasm builds embarrassingly fast, thighs shaking, back arching away from the couch while your brain turns to mush
"oh, fuck, i'm gonna-," you cry out, letting your thighs close around spencer's body, "i'm gonna come baby," you whimper loudly, stomach clenching underneath spencer's arm
he doubles down, fingers speeding up slightly, his knuckles bumping either side of your hole as wet, sticky sounds fill the room, "uh huh," he hums against you and that sends you hurtling over the edge
you come hard, harder than you ever have before, loudly whimpering as your body shakes and your thighs close around spencer's head, trapping him there while you pant, eyes clamped shut
"baby, stop," you almost cry, pulling on spencer's hair to move him away from your body as you start to get overstimulated, "jesus,"
spencer looks incredible, his hair tousled and messy, lips and chin completely soaked with your slick and his cheeks puffed out as he catches his own breath. gently, he slips his fingers from your body, smiling softly to himself as you wrap your own around his wrist
"c'mere," you hum, eyes shutting again as you yank on him, his body toppling down onto of you, his head resting on your chest, "seriously though, that was your first time?"
"yeah," spencer chuckles, his fingers trailing up your rib cage, “definitely won't be the last though,"
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thanks for reading! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily !! send prompts to my ask box!
❥ spencer reid masterlist !!
a/n tell me if you see any mistakes, i proofread but really fuckin badly !! much appreciated and hope ur having a great day, mwah
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pheastinyworld · 26 days ago
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hey phe! ik you said requests are closed and don't feel pressure to do this either if you're too busy. but i'm really bad at finding good fics and i was wondering if you had any recommendations for luke h, gabe or wsh?
hi nonnie! thank you for taking into account my stress but your ask is totally fine! actually, more than fine because i would absolutely LOVE to answer this; i've gone into more depth for everyone than i thought i would but oh well, hope this helps. this is a mix of ppl i follow and also my moots (im sorry if i forget to put people in here btw).
for luke: there are so many more, but these are the ones that are stuck in my brain.
literally anything by @star2fishmeg BUT i do strongly recommend this fic: its a long one and so well written, actually the first ever luke fic i read. (the small worlds series also has one for quinn and jack)
@withwritersblock this writer actually has a plethora of wonderful short and long fics for luke; i've cried multiple times to their work.
@lilhughesy cant stress how much i love this girl and her work. she has great works but also a umich au which is really good.
@ekybrini has a fun little dad!luke fic coming soon if that tickles your fancy.
this is a really cute fic by @stormsies adorable, fluffy, perfect, a short one for you but still packs a punch.
@sweetdispatch has so much to choose from, once you start reading her luke work, i promise you'll want to read all her other work too.
another long one for you is this fic by @cuteandhughesy : honestly such a comfort fic of mine, set during the umich years.
idk if you'd be into it because you didn't mention john but this au with luke x reader x john is TO DIE FOR by @wineauntie
again, not sure if you'd be into it but this fic also has a kinda love triangle with ethan edwards in it, honestly such a good read by @pucking-rowdy
this fic is a short one for you but there's so so so much fluff its gorgeous by @lovesickhughes
this one has a part two and i could not stop reading it when it came out, its amazing, by @nyl88ndrs.
the way this author writes is so special, i 100% recommend this fic in particular its a longer one for you by @nylqnder
also if you're looking for luke smut I'd go to @ruinix , literally perfection.
for gabe: i've got quite a bit as well in my own masterlist, but here are my fav's
needy boy by my girl @crazy4eky is GORG (smut for you nasty freaks). anything by my girl kay is stunning.
anything by @perreqult just go to her gabe section and you'll definitely not be disappointed
this fic by @peachhcs is great but she also has a whole gabe x oc au that is a very cute read (probably the only thing you'll get in terms of anything long written about gabe)
first fic i ever read for gabe was this one by @toasttt11, but also check out toasty's other au's.
here's some break up-ish angst for you by @casssssssi (has a part two as well, so pretty long) (cass also has some more fics you should read for sure)
@viennajoell go check out her stuff, all of it is wonderful.
@moonlight-ba3 has some fresh new gabe fics that are fun to read as well
for will:
this fic by @alliwritespuck; i actually remember reading this on the bus and laughing so hard when will's family walk in. but also definitely go through this authors masterlist for more.
this is willmack but still omfg amazing by @softsunnyy, i remember kay i think recommended this to me.
if you're into willmack stuff i'd 100% recommend anything from @wannabehockeygf tho i have a fav
this is dad!will if you're into that, i think its so cute by @fiastomatocheek
@belli5 definitely go read her will stuff, her whole wsh masterlist is recommended by me
nonnie, there are way way more but these are all i can think of right now, i'll try update the list when i have more time after exams! hope this help 💗💐
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novemberheart · 11 months ago
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{overview} you make a disturbing discovery while in John’s office
{warnings} fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, short chapter, slight angst
Chapter 23 <- Chapter 24 -> Chapter 25
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While you had never been happier, a part of you was ready to return to base. You missed your friends and the routine that came along with it. You wouldn't miss your pack being sent to the odds and ends of the world, but you knew they were more than capable.
You and the betas drove back to base, while the alphas flew. Vernie didn't have all her shots to be able to fly. Luckily, the betas would never turn down a road trip.
“This is your new home,” you cheered softly. The familiar smell of the flat tickling your brain. The puppy decided to take great interest in the cords near the TV.
“Gonna have to puppy-proof,” Simon huffed, grabbing the squirming creature off the floor. You expected him to pass her to you, instead, he sat down on the couch placing her in his lap. You cleaned up around your room, dusting things and finishing the loads of laundry from vacation. “You’re happy,” Simon stated, looking over his shoulder at you.
“It’s nice to be back. Not going to be happy about any of you leaving though,” You mumbled the last part, flopping down on the couch next to him. Vernie crawled over to you.
“I’d hope not,” Simon grunted, causing you to roll your eyes.
There was hardly a day to get back into the swing of things. The boys being pulled for trainings and meetings. You quickly regretted saying you were happy to be back.
“Five more minutes,” you whined, Kyle’s phone alarm lighting up the room. The sun hadn't even started to come up yet.
“Alright,” Kyle agreed quickly. He put his phone on snooze, worming back under the covers with you. You both jolted awake ten minutes later to pounding at the door. “Fuck,” Kyle cursed stumbling out of bed. You giggled, the door opening to reveal a pissed-off John.
“How the hell are you supposed to train others when you can't even manage yourself?” He snapped. He pushed his way into the room, bumping into Kyle who was changing into his uniform. He bent down pressing a kiss against your cheek. “Good morning, pretty girl,” his voice was startlingly different- yet you had gotten used to that. You wrapped your arms around his neck, making sure to rub as much of your scent on him as you could.
“Good morning, alpha.”
In John’s eyes you were too sultry for your own good. “I’ll come back and get you for lunch,” he pressed another kiss against you, grabbing Kyle by the scruff, knowing if the beta had the opportunity to kiss you goodbye he would never get to training.
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“God, I missed you!” Anais grinned wickedly, wrapping her arms tightly around you. Even Jane seemed happy to see you. Anais had signed all three of you up for badminton, which ended with all of you trying to get the badminton birdie out of Vernie’s mouth.
Regardless, it was fun.
“I’m hungry,” Anais sighed, even as she chewed on her bag of trail mix. “Lunch?” She questioned eyeing both of you.
“I can't. I have lunch with my alpha,” You explained stretching out on the grass.
“Oh, that's right. It’s Wednesday,” she sighed. “Need us to drop you off before we head out?” She asked, moving to a stand.
“That would be great,” you perked up. Vernie was exhausted at this point- not being the most high-energy pup in the first place. “Hey, they are having a movie night in the park Friday. We should do that,” You suggested, causing Anais to light up.
“Just as long as it’s not a scary movie this time,” Jane huffed, making the two of you chuckle. They dropped you off outside the office building, and you made quick work getting to John’s office. You couldn't be caught hanging around by yourself. You knocked at the door not hearing a response. You tugged out your key card, waiting for the small light to flicker green.
“This is John’s office,” you explained to Vernie. Even though she couldn't hear you, you could tell she liked it when you talked to her. You locked the door behind you, setting the pup down on the floor, making yourself at home on the leather couch. John’s office was classically handsome just like him. Well as nice as it could be with what he had to work with. You pulled out your phone, shooting him a text of your whereabouts. Vernie digging in the trash can caught your attention.
“Out of there Vern,” you scolded gently, grabbing her around her middle. She had a folder in her mouth she just wouldn't let go. “Vernie,” you chided again, pulling it out of her jaws as much as you could without hurting her. You finally succeeded, ready to throw it back into the trash when the label caught your eye.
OHH
You knew what that stood for. Omega Holding House. A wave of uneasiness crashed over you. You shook yourself out of your thoughts. It was probably just leftover paperwork from you. You tossed it back in the trash standing back on your feet, bringing you and Vernie back to the couch.
You couldn't relax. Those three letters remained even when you closed your eyes- taunting you. You stood up slowly, creeping back by the trash can, and pulling the folder back out. You pursed your lips trying to manage your breathing. You placed it on his desk, opening it like something would jump out at you.
Something did. A cover letter, typed and signed by Kate Laswell.
Possible Omegas for Task Force 141
It had been typed in bold, obnoxiously large letters like it was the greatest achievement one could have. ‘Possible’ the words pounded in your head repeatedly making it throb. You flipped to the next page. It was a profile of an omega, the first thing that caught your eye was the large red X through it. Must be John's writing. You flipped to the next page. Another profile- another X through it. You weren't quite sure why they had got rejected. Nothing in their biography seemed like a red flag and they were all pretty. The next page- another X.
You whined when you flipped to your page. The large red X staring up at you. It was rejection to the highest degree. Kate had even wrote a special note on yours.
Pay close attention to this one. She's a good girl.
John had written a note himself, addressing Laswell.
Not happening
You knew he probably didn't mean you specifically, and that he was referring to having an omega as a whole, but it hurt. The type of pain that made you sink to the floor. They type of pain that made your lungs feel like they were collapsing. The type of pain that comes from falling in love with someone only to have them shut the door in your face.
You flipped to the next page because what did you have to lose?
A lot apparently.
There was no red X. There was no marking on the page at all. You flipped to the next page- the last page- a red X. It was just her page without an X.
She was the one he had wanted. Who knows? Maybe all of them wanted her. You could practically see them in this office digging through each paper, judging every imperfection on each profile- including yours. She had no imperfections. She was beautiful, purebred, and came from a long line of military alphas. She was the shining star of her omega-holding house. Never once getting in trouble, always being an active participant, showing signs of being a strong, traditional omega, and her heat cycles were always regular. The opposite of you in nearly every way. The more you read the more hurt you got. You closed the file, trying to calm your sobs enough so you didn't pass out. Vernie was at your feet pawing up your ankle. You scooped her up into your arms, making your way back home.
People stared at you. You could only imagine the rumors. You were undoubtedly the most dramatic omega on base- at least the one that caused the most trouble. Your tears made people stay away from you and you were able to get all the way home without a hitch. You shut your bedroom door, throwing yourself on your bed sobbing. Your heart twisted painfully in your chest. You regretted everything. You regretted agreeing to come here, you regretted warming up to each of them so quickly, you regretted sleeping with John.
John.
The name made you sob harder.
It wasn’t fair.
Would you ever be someone's first choice?
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I hated writing thisssssssss😩but we can't live in peace for too long! See you in two days for Chapter 25!!!
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crucifyjonnie · 4 months ago
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Someone to you
Mattheo Riddle x Reader
Warnings: anxiety, depression, self-loathing, medication, dark thoughts, violence, death, denial.
A/N: I wanted to write something angsty and here's the result of it. (For more vibe while reading, listen to Someone to you by Matt Hansen)
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Diary entry; 12th of May.
It’s like I still can feel her skin touching mine. Her fingertips trailing patterns on my back. Her breath, still caressing the nape of my neck. Her hair, still tickling my cheek. Her laugh, oh, her pretty laugh. And her eyes, that burning inferno in her eyes that was for me and only me. How she melted into me, like she was made for my arms. Her head shaped to fit perfectly on my chest. 
But that’s not the case. I haven’t seen her for two months. Everybody thinks she’s dead. I don’t. I can’t. I can’t believe she is gone. It’s like I still can hear her voice. Echoing between the cold brick walls in my dorm. 
I thought I heard her today. A quiet whisper echoing through the hallway of Hogwarts. She called my name. I swear to Merlin, it was her voice. She called out for me.
I still can’t believe that the last words that left my lips were so harsh. I just told her to leave. To never come back. And all she responded with was, “But I love you.” Those words have burned into the stem of my brain. I hope she knows that I never meant for it to be like this. I hope she knows that I love her more than anything. That I would die for her. If I could trade places with her, I would. She deserves life; she deserves to bloom—like a flower.
But it’s always like this. I always push people away. And now, she’s nowhere to be found. And I just can’t believe what the others try to tell me. She’s not dead. She’s NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. SHE’S NOT DEAD. She can’t be.
M.R
Mattheo hadn’t been sleeping much for the past couple of months. Not since the day you disappeared, and it showed. Dark circles under his dark, deep coffee eyes, hair tousled, fatigue creeping in every corner of his being. He went on with his lessons, but he wasn’t there; not really. He tried to keep peace with himself, but he lost a piece of himself when he couldn’t find you after the war.
The hallways of Hogwarts were restored, but the ghosts of everyone losing their lives haunted the halls. Their painful screams still echoing between the walls and paintings; souls too young to lose their lives. Souls that were far too easy for the Death Eaters to take. Souls that had not yet gotten the chance to live, to bloom, to be free. Now, they’re stuck between the walls of the castle. Doomed to walk these halls for an eternity.
Mattheo, Theo and Pansy were ready to leave the Great Hall after supper. Per usual, like the past couple of months, Mattheo hadn’t been eating—at least not enough. His temper had grown short. And if his tolerance for shit-talking bastards was low before, it had reached its breaking point now.
The three friends rose from their table, gathering their things, and were about to leave when they heard some student’s whisper from behind them. “He’s pathetic.” Mattheo stopped in his steps, knowing very well they whispered about him. Pansy gave Mattheo a glance while tugging on the arm of his shirt lightly. “It’s not worth it, Mattheo. Come on, let’s go.” And for once, Mattheo was actually about to leave it be—until they spoke again. 
“You’re pathetic, Riddle. You had one job, and now we all have to walk around in pain. Only because you couldn’t do one thing.” Mattheo swallowed hard, his heart racing in his chest. Blood boiling in his veins, he turned around with gritted teeth. “And what, exactly, is that?” The words left his lips through his still gritted teeth.
The Ravenclaw boy—who Mattheo didn’t even know the name of—smirked, knowing he had gotten under Mattheo’s skin. What the boy didn’t know was that he was about to regret his next words. “Keep her alive.” Mattheo’s features darkened, closing the distance between them before his fist was buried in the boy's face. “What did you say?” One more punch, “Say it again,” one more punch, “I dare you.”
Mattheo spent the rest of the day in Snape’s classroom, in detention. While sitting by the table, he heard your voice again. A low but soft whisper, echoing through the room.
“Mattheo…” 
He tried to ignore it, but then it came again. “Mattheo”. 
Letting out a trembling breath, he shook his head. “You’re not here. Why do I keep hearing you? You’re not here. You’re gone. The boy was right. I was supposed to keep you alive. I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed…” But Mattheo got cut off by a light squeeze on his shoulder. Body stiffening, he turned around harshly only to see—nothing. “I’m going insane.” 
Diary entry; 14th of May.
I thought I heard her again today. It was also almost like I could feel her. I swear I felt a squeeze on my shoulder. But it can’t be her. She’s not here anymore. All I want, all I beg for, is to see her again. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please.
I’m going crazy. I’m broken. I’m alone. I’m nothing. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live like this. I can’t do this. Please, make it stop. Make. It. Stop.
M.R
A few days went by. Mattheo had succeeded in being let out of detention. The only good thing about not faring well with his mental health was that he could blame it to escape detention. The Ravenclaw boy, whose face was refurbished by the one and only, had been sent to St Mungo's for severe injuries. But Mattheo didn’t care. All he could care about was you; all he could think about was you.
Mattheo was curled up under a blanket in the Astronomy tower, feet dangling out from the railing. It was way past curfew, but that had never stopped him before. He took a long drag of his cigarette, the tip glowing. Mattheo’s eyes gazed over the star-clothed night sky, a million thoughts swirling in his mind. 
“What would you do if you were here? Would you tell me how stupid I am for smashing a boy's face? Probably a stupid question. I know you would make me tell him I was sorry. And I would do it. I would do it for you. But I just can’t… I can’t take it when others tell me what I have done wrong in this. I know I should’ve protected you. I know I shouldn’t have told you to leave. I know I was stupid. Would you forgive me if you were here? Would you?” Mattheo scoffed, shaking his head. A soft smile tugged on the corner of his lips while a sigh left his nostrils. The smile was not because he was happy but because he was feeling pathetic. He was talking to himself, for Merlin’s sake.
“I would.” Your whisper swirled through the air, and Mattheo felt like the air left his lungs. His eyes filled with tears. Gritting his teeth, he took one more long drag of his cigarette before flicking it away over the railing. And just as he did, a falling star fell. “I wish for…” But he got cut off by your whisper again.
“Shh… It’s bad luck to tell.” Mattheo gazed up at the stars, smiling with teary eyes. “I know you’re here. Somewhere. I just know it.”
As the days kept on passing, Mattheo tried to keep to himself. He spent only a few nights in the common room together with his friends, but for most of the time he tried to spend his time with himself. Reading, writing, keeping his mind off anything else. But tonight was tough.
He tried to keep calm, but the demons in his mind kept knocking on until they broke every wall down in his mind. Mattheo really tried to keep his posture, but it was in vain.
“Why? Why? Why? Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop.” His voice was barely audible, more like a strangled cry than actual words coming out. The tears couldn’t stop running down his cheek while his hands pulled on his brown curls.
Theo could hear Mattheo’s cries, and even though Mattheo had been very clear not to bother, Theo couldn’t do this anymore. He walked from his bed and over to Mattheo’s. As he sat down, Mattheo stiffened slightly, but he was too wound up in his panic attack to tell Theo to piss off. Theo curled up behind Mattheo, who was sitting up, and pulled him into his chest. At first, Mattheo tried to push Theo away, but Theo’s grip was like iron.
“Shh. Mattheo. Everything will be alright. I’m sure she’s okay. I can feel it. But please, just try to breathe. You’re breaking my heart. You’re my best friend, my brother. All I want is for you to just… calm down. Let me be here for you.” And that was all that Mattheo needed to hear. That was enough for him to break for real, and the tears wouldn’t stop running. 
Theo hugged Mattheo for nearly one hour before speaking again. “Mattheo, listen to me. I get it; everything feels like shit. But please, you have to stop blaming yourself. I’m sure she’s okay. I don’t think she’s gone. But you have to do something about this. I don’t recognise you anymore.”
The next day, Mattheo asked for permission to leave for St Mungo's. He had to get some help for all of this. And then, he was going to find you.
After speaking with the doctors and getting some medication, Mattheo was about to leave. But one of the nurses stopped him right before he opened the entrance. “Please, Mr Riddle. Follow me. There’s someone I want you to meet.”
Mattheo glared at the nurse, thinking she only wasted his time. He followed her to the second floor and to the door on the end of the hall. She didn’t say anything, and Mattheo found her a little bit odd. The nurse gestured for the door before disappearing through another door.
A strange feeling flared in Mattheo’s stomach. But he opened the door. The room was pure white, almost glowing. He looked around and saw that a couch and a fireplace were the only things existing in this room. His gaze travelled to the window, and his heart stopped. A girl stood with her back facing him, her deep brown hair falling over her shoulders and down to the small of her back. Mattheo took one more step into the room before letting out a deep breath.
The girl turned around, meeting Mattheo’s face with a gentle smile. A scar travelling down from her eyebrow to her cheek. But her eyes, oh, her eyes. The prettiest he has ever seen. The girl’s lips parted slightly before speaking.
“Hi Mattheo.”
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© crucifyjonnie 2025. Please do not copy, translate or repost any of my works. Reblogs, likes and comments are welcomed though ♡ you are accountable for your own media consumption. 
Taglist: @riddleswhcre @belovedenzo
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visionsofmagic · 2 years ago
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◜ mk1 men when you meet with their evil versions [+bonus]◞
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▸ characters: raiden, johnny cage,  kuai liang, tomas & [+bonus} bi han: meeting with his good version ◂ ▸wc: 2.7k
▸ tags&notes: drabble, fluff, hurt/comfort, spicy, flirting, touching, gentle, rough, lots of usage of version & timeline words (like in the game, lol), dilemma, betrayal, angst (a little bit), humor, use of y/n, pet names, no specification of gender (as I remember), well, ‘s all I guess? (lol, this is the mixed tags I have ever wrote, but, it’s a drabble, so… enjoy!◂ ▸ m.
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RAIDEN can be one of the most precious men you have met, and falling for him is the rightest thing that has happened to you – however, contrary to how a loving boyfriend he is in your timeline, he’s the opposite one when it comes to his another version you have come across.
everything about his evil, the version seems all the same and different at the same time as he makes his way towards you, having the red color on unlike what your raiden wear normally. the only thing that reminds of him is the hat that covers his face from you until he slowly raises his head, eyes glowing red while looking at you from above. the danger is radiating from his presence, giving you a cold chill down your spine, making you crawl back step by step because of being on your ass, sitting on the ground after the fight has begun between you and the other timeline.
“oh,” he says, a smirk appears on his pretty face – not the one your raiden has, the one that is the representation of the most beautiful flower in the entire world, no, this one gives the feeling of an ivy full of poison. “y/n?” gulping, you remember the words that left liu kang’s mouth about how raiden once lost himself and sought the power to protect the earthrealm at any cost. 
you stop when your back touches a wall, leaving no place to run either when raiden kneels before you, red lightning traveling on his body that looks so powerful that you find yourself getting weak – not only because of the aura he has unlike the one the raiden you know has, but also because how it seems that he pulls you closer to him. somehow, he makes you lose all logical sides of your brain with the way he looks down at you; prevailing.
“raiden?” you ask, sounding soft which earns a smirk from him as he holds you by the chin.
“oh my love, you’re so soft – so fragile. it seems your raiden doesn’t give you enough – he is still weak. with that power, he can’t protect you, but I can,” his fingers move from your chin to your cheek, and lightning under his skin tickles yours. “come with me. I will protect you and the earthrealm from any danger out there.”
“I can’t –“ you utter, sounding not so sure of the decision but your heart knows the best – and that is to stay beside your raiden, the one who has you completely, not the one seeking power even though he needs to end his friends’ life or even another timeline to accomplish it. “I will never leave my raiden’s side.”
“how loyal,” he says, both irritated by the fact that your bond with the raiden in your timeline can’t be broken and proud of how loyal you’re for your love. “I wish we met in my timeline.”
with his confession, he leaves you behind, going to fight with others – how ironic, he comes here to end any life form yet he shows mercy when it comes to you. whatever it is that makes him do that, doesn’t matter, you say to yourself as you get up and go to help your raiden, hoping he will never turn evil.
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JOHNNY CAGE in your own timeline is flirtatious and teasing enough – or as you thought until you see his evil version from another timeline after the great fight has begun. you can’t distinguish him from your johnny – but the moment his eyes find you, admiring how you easily defeat one his companions on the way to the top, he whistles playfully.
when you turn to see him, ready to make a moral lesson about how he shouldn’t be humoristic in a fight for death and life, you see his eyes scanning your body from head to toe shamelessly. realization hits you like a ball in the face; he’s not your johnny. he doesn’t care about anything in the world, well, your johnny didn’t either before meeting with you. 
acknowledging that you see the danger when he winks at you, eyes finally directed to your face. “well, hello cutie. aren’t you such a beauty who will make aphrodite jealous?” he leaves a chuckle when you roll your eyes. without positioning a fight stance, you begin to walk towards him so that you can pass by his side – you can’t stand a version of johnny who is cockier and open-mouthed.
“woah woah,” he stops in front of you, hands on his chest, smirking, “already going, baby? c’mon, there is no man who deserves your attention as I do – not even your johnny if there is one.”
crossing your arms, a weary expression lightens your face up – still, you can feel the heat rushing to your body because of his flirty manner and words. johnny cage will be able to make you giggle with his demeanor with every version of him, won’t he?
“what do you want? a fight? then do it with someone else.” a dismissive hand movement makes him close the gap between you, eyes shining at your words.
“why pretty? can’t hit my handsome face? I bet you love seeing it.”
“u-huh,” you say, smiling as you put a hand on his shoulder, winking at him when he gets excited at the action. “you’re right I can’t hit my boyfriend’s pretty face,” you show his back, “but he can.”
when he turns around after you take a few steps back to leave enough room for your boyfriend to hit his own-self’s face with a strong punch, you chuckle. it’s a sight that will never leave your mind. 
“hey pretty,” your johnny says, gripping you by the waist and pulling you closer. chest to chest, he puts a kiss on your lips, acting like there’s no battle happening around you, taking the taste of you that he missed so much even though he had you before this hell. “you missed me so much that you began to chat with cheaper versions of me?”
“of course not. no one can be like you baby.”
“oh hell yeah!” he chuckles, taking you by the hand, “then, let’s kick some ass, well,” he takes a quick look around before turning to you, “our ass.”
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KUAI LIANG of your timeline can’t be looking as dangerous as his evil version even when he has a venomous fire radiating directed to the enemies. your boyfriend tends to have a tender side in him, especially for you. he’s the fire itself – using it to burn the ones who deserve it, and for warming you at any cost, in any place because he loves you so much that he can’t let himself go all wide beside you.
however, his evil version is nothing similar to him – maybe in a few situations but not on the battlefield in which no single soul can escape from the wrath scorpion has.
watching him from afar, for a moment, you can’t help but feel both power flowing through his armored body within the flames rising on the outline of his build, and hatred. 
he mesmerizes you in aspects it shouldn’t have – how can you feel a connection between an evil version of kuai liang when you’re destined to protect your own realm, fighting right beside your boyfriend? guilt rushing to you as scorpion becomes aware of your existence, looking at you after he takes down an ally – your wide eyes that do not leave him is the impulse of it. 
“hmm,” he says, slowly approaching you – you try to move, you really do but you simply can’t, not when every step he takes towards you sends a jolt of excitement and fear to your core, alerting you to either run so fast or stay still and you choose the second option without realizing it until he stops in front of you. “liked what you see, princess?” 
he flirts, teases, and even sounds as if your kuai liang except he has a bloodcurdling tone in his voice. 
when you don’t respond, eyes scanning his suit – looks like he came from straight hell, or he’s the hell, he scoffs, gloved hand replaces under your chin, pulling you closer to him as you rise on your toes to reach his height, hands finding his chest not to fall. “isn’t my version in this timeline enough for you that you eyeing me too? maybe he’s not good at satisfying you.”
heat rising within you, you can’t stop looking at his eyes – burning with flames, magically, yet seeming real as the blood covering his suit. you want to feel disgusted, but you’re far away from having such emotion. 
when he lowers his head, closer to you, you hear kuai liang’s voice behind you – taking you from daydreaming to reality, making you realize you let his evil version do whatever he wants with you. “y/n!”
with such speed, you get away from him, ready to stay in fighting style when your kuai liang covers your body like a shield, standing between you and his evil version.
“you should go,” he says, taking a look at your face as he prepares himself to battle with an armored scorpion whose eyes never leave yours, still attempting to capture you. attempt fails when you shake your head negatively when kuai liang adds, “I will deal with him.”
“no,” you sound certain, standing beside your boyfriend, an assuring smile on your face, “we will fight together.”
evil version only chuckles at that, darkly, and with that, “if it’s what you wish, my love.”
“not yours. mine. and I will make sure to show you that.”
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TOMAS’ determination is visible through his movements, unlike the one yours has, his eyes bright with such madness that your heart begins to pound in fear, not knowing whether he sees you as a treat or not – yet, he should, in the end, you’re not his partner in his timeline and he’s here to fight, not spare you just because his soft version gives his heart to you.
“tomas –“ the words leave your mouth, no particular control on it since it just splits out of you easily, to get a reaction from tomas – a good one.
“not your tomas,” he utters, playing with his karambit knife to show the readiness he has, waiting for the exact moment to attack you or defend himself if you take a sudden move, yet, you two agree upon a thing even without knowing it; neither he or you’re brave enough to hurt another, not when you have the love of his version in your timeline – his reason is unknown though. “I am better.”
“maybe you’re, maybe you’re not. it doesn’t matter,” you say, trying to find a feature that has hints of goodness in it by watching him raise one of his eyebrows, clearly curious about the rest of your speech. “for me, my tomas is the best, and he will remain as one.”
he chuckles, “is that so?” he’s more excited than you expect him to be. arms unite on his chest, making him look more dominant than you used to see. “I wonder what he does for you to say that – believe that.”
“he’s not hurting me,” he shuts you down – the thing your tomas will never do, he’s such a gentleman.
“I am not hurting you either,” seeing your relaxed body, he shakes his head, and with a smoke pump, he disappears in sight only to appear behind you, hands hugging you from behind, caging you inside his arms – tight enough to not let you go yet tenderness can be felt as well. he whispers into your ear from his mask, chin touching your shoulder as you take deep breaths because of the proximity you begin to share. other than your boyfriend tomas, you don’t get close with people and since he’s tomas but a more evil version from somewhere else, it feels odd – and excitement mixing within. “but I can’t promise for the future. if you just let me –“
when his fingers find your neck, you push him back, turning around, you take a defense stance, furrowing both at yourself and him – how could he? your tomas would never do things that make you comfortable even in the moments it feels breathtaking. “I should make you regret even suggesting such a thing!”
“no need love,” the time stops for a second, and the heart and soul find the ultimate medicine in the voice of your lover, tomas, whose fingertips touch your upper arms gently, traveling from there until they reach your wrists – his chest touches your back and the remaining marks of his evil version, the ones give you danger, fading away. “at the end of the day, he will not be able to utter any other inappropriate words with you,” staying beside you, he smiles at you – angelic. when he turns to his version, he looks deadly – you have never seen him like this, and from the way he stands, you believe he is determined to make him regret for your sake. “when I am done with him, he will never have the courage to show his face in here.”
“such bigger words from my weaker version,” the other tomas says.
shielding you, tomas bite him back, “I will show you how powerful I can be for my goddess.”
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BI HAN’s betrayal still eats you alive, the marks of it have its ghost on your skin and soul; broken pieces, and a wound on the cheek that you got from one of his ice blades he threw to kuai liang whom you intended to protect at any cost, not wanting him to get into a fight with his older brother.
you believed it wasn’t bi han who was speaking – it was his madness that needed to be calmed down – you tried though, you really did but the moment you got hurt, you saw the guilt and concern in his brown eyes before they turned to pure fury as he sought of obedience from all of you.
the brief moment created a bloom in your chest for a spell but it vanished as it came, taking hope into the deepest part of your heart as you watched bi han and kuai liang fight, wishing there wouldn’t be a miscommunication among you all, however, you knew bi han’s obsession with power for lin kuei got more dominant than he felt for you.
it was sad – to see bi han, your bi han, go away from you slowly, not understanding why you don’t agree to be on his side, he feels his own betrayal coming from you – before the fight, he said how he was wounded at your choice – didn’t you love him? he asked and his broken voice now fills your mind as you look at your hands – then, a movement catch your eyes as you wait for the big fight.
“who did this to you?” someone asks – not someone, a voice says, and when his fingertips touch your chin, lifting your head up from where you sit, you see eyes that resemble your bi han. he’s from another timeline, probably in which he doesn’t seek power like the way your bi han does.
tears appear in your eyes, and to hide them, you fend off his gentle touch, not letting him touch the wound directly, “it doesn’t matter anymore.” 
he stays silent, realizing it is bi han, in your realm and he sighs, touching you once again even if you keep as distant as possible you can, not wanting to cry in the middle of a battle area where people go and come as they wait for the upcoming fight. “I am sorry,” he says, and for a moment, you hear the voice of your bi han before coming to your senses.
“it wasn’t you – so, you’re not responsible for saying sorry.”
“but you need it,” he convinces, holding you by the cheek, covering the wound with his palm as if he gives healing through the touch, “and I am here to give it to you.”
you smile, not caring that tears flow into your cheeks, and to his hand – he knows you, not better than your bi han does, but enough to make you sense the comfort you seek within him. “stop talking or I will begin to believe I can beat the bi han’s possession.”
he smiles under his mask, and it reaches his eyes – he looks innocence incarnate. “you will. believe me when I say it, pretty,” he caresses your skin, the free hand positions on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze, “he will learn that there is no greater need except – you, his beloved one.”
💙
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secretjules · 1 year ago
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☆, 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ,☆
in which the brothers have a sixth sense, telling them you're in distress. or... the brothers have spidey-senses.
Pairing: Lucifer x gn!reader
Warnings: a rat.
AN: these won't be coming out in order. you can thank my brain for that!
Characters: Lucifer (you're here!) ... Mammon (coming soon) ... Leviathan (coming soon) ... Satan (coming soon) ... Asmodeus (coming soon) ... Beelzebub (coming soon) ... Belphegor (coming soon) Dateables coming soon...
obey me masterlist | main masterlist
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Lucifer had been at his desk since returning from RAD when Diavolo approached him, asking for help with paperwork. Reluctantly agreeing, knowing Diavolo should handle it himself, he found himself amidst a pile of documents needing revision by tomorrow afternoon.
He had worked through half the stack, pausing only for dinner, bathroom breaks, or to scold his brothers. Well past midnight, an unusual exhaustion and a looming migraine plagued him. Rubbing his temples, he continued with his pen, suddenly feeling a chill down his spine—a feeling that drew him to check the kitchen. Perhaps Beel was sneaking another midnight snack? Ignoring his fatigue, he headed downstairs, intending to give Beel a piece of his mind.
Approaching the kitchen, an eerie silence surrounded him, broken only by faint huffs and whispers inside. “whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck,” a voice muttered urgently.
“Mc, what are you doing here so late?” he called out sternly, eyes adjusting to find you huddled on the counter. “Why are perched on the counter?”
“I wanted water, but then that thing showed up behind me,” you whispered hastily. Lucifer followed your gaze, spotting a sizable rat staring from the floor.
“You're on the counter clutching a ladle because of a rat?”
“Where I come from, rats aren't this gargantuan!” you retorted, not amused by Lucifer’s playful tone. He smirked before scaring off the rat, earning a disbelieving look from you. Was he seriously letting it go? You swung your legs down as the creature scurried away. “Are you just letting it run off?”
“No, I’ll have Barbatos handle it,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Oh great, as if my suffrage wasn’t enough; now you're dragging poor Barb into it,” you hopped off the counter, grabbing your glass of water before turning to him. “Why did you come down here at this hour?” You checked the kitchen clock, realizing with a small gasp that it was 2 AM.
“To be honest, I felt compelled to come. It was... intriguing,” he explained, guiding you out of the kitchen and into the hall, his touch lingering on the small of your back.
“You so sensed I was in danger.”
“Sure I did,” he cracked a small smile, quickly glancing behind him—hoping you hadn’t caught his amusement at your less-than-hilarious joke that still managed to tickle him. “Almost like spidey-senses.”
“Spidey, what?"
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obey me masterlist | main masterlist
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idiopath-fic-smile · 10 months ago
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so literally eight years ago i posted a snippet of a modern retelling of Much Ado About Nothing set in a student co-op and for no particular reason, the concept is tickling my brain right now. so uh here, have this? i guess?
“So, Ursula, my dear,” said Lee, taking the seat across from her at the dinner table. “My fluffy little crumpet. My buttery brioche bun. My tangy slice of pumpernickel—”
Ursula squinted up from her Anthro reading. “Uh-oh,” she said. “You only call me bread when I’m in trouble.”
“Happened to glance at the meeting notes this morning,” Lee continued, her voice rising. “You’ve got anything you wanna explain or defend?”
Ursula flicked her highlighter from one finger to the other, determined to play it cool. “I think it’s all pretty self-explanatory. Which meeting notes, exactly, were you glancing at?” She peeked out of the corner of her eye to check how this was going down. 
Poorly. 
Lee stared at her, apparently at a loss for words, which was not a great look for the house president.
“You did this more than once.”
“I take notes every meeting, Lee,” she said, as levelly as possible given how Lee’s ‘I’m not angry, just disappointed’ Mom vibes were oozing from every pore. “It’s my job, as house secretary.”
“Is it?” said Lee tightly. “Is it your job?” She whisked opened her laptop and read aloud: 
“Benedick’s eyes blazed with passionate fury. His nostrils quivered. ‘Well,’ he said in a low growl, hair resplendent under the environmentally friendly fluorescent lights, ‘personally, I think if anything, there's not ENOUGH lentils—’ Beatrice gasped. It was so wrong, and yet…”
Ursula winced. “‘Said in a low growl’ is wordy. I should’ve just put ‘growled’.”
Lee pinched the bridge of her nose. “Ursula,” she began, “just how much of our official co-op house notes, which by the way are formally submitted each month to the Co-op Board, are written as if Benedick and Beatrice’s stupid arguments are some kind of torrid Harlequin paperback?”
“That depends.” Ursula steepled her fingers, dropping the highlighter in the process. “How much of my notes do you have access to?”
“All of them,” Lee gritted out. “Because they’re public. That’s what I’m saying.”
 “Look,” said Ursula. “I don’t think I said this when I ran, but I wanted to be house secretary in the first place because a lot of the time, taking notes is the only way I can make myself concentrate. I would literally be taking notes during the meeting anyway. It’s an ADHD thing.” 
Ursula sighed. “And pretty early on, it became clear that meetings in Messina House are basically just a Sexual Tension Thunderdome for Benedick and Beatrice. They go back and forth for pages sometimes. I can feel every electrical connection in my brain fighting to zone out. So yeah. For a while I rewrote their fights as rhymed couplets, for a very short bit of time I had Balthazar set them to sea shanties, and since last December, I’ve been transcribing very close to their actual words, with very close to their actual intentions, plus just a tiny bit of genre trimmings. If they’re gonna waste my Saturday and test my focus, I’m doing what I can to stay awake and keep my typing fingers limber. I’m up to 75 WPM, by the way.”
“December?” Lee repeated. “Ursula, it’s October. You’ve been doing this for over a semester?” A terrible wave of realization seemed to sweep over her just then, regarding the general pacing and content of a standard Harlequin. “Please tell me,” she whispered, “there is no sex in the meeting notes—”
“There’s no sex in the meeting notes,” Ursula interrupted. “Per se,” she added under her breath.
Lee’s lips were pressed together into a thin line. “One year,” she said. “I want one year where nobody drives a motorcycle down the hallway or accidentally mixes up chlorine gas during their bathroom clean, or spends almost a full calendar year slipping smut into the public record—!”
“Excuse you,” said Ursula. “Smut’s a different genre altogether. This is romance. Slow-burn, enemies to lovers.”
Lee threw up her hands, nearly knocking over her laptop. “What are you gonna do if Benedick or Beatrice sees this?” “Oh.” Ursula froze. “Uh-oh.”
“Yeah, uh-oh,” she said. “Look, clearly there’s only one thing to do.”
Ursula nodded. “Right, we have to execute a series of far-fetched shenanigans designed to turn those two fighting fish into a pair of cooing lovebirds, stat.”
“No,” said Lee. “What? No, you need to go back and rewrite all of—”
Pedro slid into the room in his socks. “Oh sweet, are we hooking up Benedick with Beatrice?”
“Hell yeah,” said Ursula. They high-fived.
Lee closed her laptop with a snap. “Ursula, what are the odds,” she said, “that you actually buckle down and rewrite all of the meeting notes to read like they were written in the genre of meeting notes?”
“Oh, like, zero,” said Ursula, as Pedro chimed in, 
“Yeah, that will not happen.”
Lee looked despairingly back and forth between Ursula and Pedro. “What do you think is the likelihood that playing love gods will like, actually, genuinely work?”
“Twenty percent,” said Ursula.
Margaret glanced up from the other end of the table, where she was gluing together a collage of every restaurant on campus that had ever given her food poisoning. It was for class, was the thing.
Art school kids, man.
“We’re tricking Benedick and Beatrice into giving themselves over to their intense chemistry?” asked Margaret.
“Thirty percent,” said Ursula, because Margaret was inscrutable much of the time but surely they would have a fighting chance with more of the Humanities on their side.
At “intense chemistry,” Lee shuddered. “That reminds me,” she said, standing and scooping up her laptop, “I need to post a sign in the basement bathroom warning people not to mix bleach with acid.”
“Are you in?” said Pedro as Lee attempted to slip out the door. “Love Gods?”
“Jesus Christ,” said Lee.
“Not a love god,” Margaret announced. She had found the sequins, and was applying them with enthusiasm. “Except in the general Peace on Earth sense, I guess.”
“I’m texting Hero,” said Ursula, digging for her phone. “She knows Beatrice better than anyone. She’ll have tips. That puts our potential success rate at 45%, easy.”
“If we’ve got Hero, we’ve got Claudia,” Pedro added. “And she’s been BFF with Benedick since freshman year.”
“This is a terrible plan,” Lee muttered. “Yeah,” said Ursula, “but you implied it yourself. If, uh, certain parties see my meeting notes, they will murder me. Do you really want a fellow co-oper’s blood on your hands?”
Just then, Benedick burst into the room, Beatrice on his heels.
“I’m sorry,” Beatrice shouted, “are you genuinely trying to argue that soybeans are the superior legume? Soybeans? Over chickpeas? Over kidney beans? Hell, over peas?”
“Soy milk,” said Benedick, counting on his fingers, “silken tofu, miso, tempeh, firm tofu—”
Beatrice took a step closer to him, eyes flashing, “I have never in my life had tempeh that tasted like anything other than an evil Cliff Bar.”
“It’s not my fault your tastebuds were installed backwards,” said Benedick. “This from the woman who still, in the year of some people’s lord 2024, thinks lattes are ‘too trendy’—”
“Espresso is a waste of coffee grounds,” said Beatrice in a low, dangerous voice.
Benedick gasped. “You take that back.”
Beatrice took a step closer. “Coldbrew has more flavor and more caffeine.”
“Coldbrew,” Benedick echoed, stepping even closer. “You’re defending that swill over a nice mocha? Get latte’s name out of your mouth.”
Benedick and Beatrice were standing almost nose to nose, breathing hard.
“You know what?” said Lee from the door. “Ursula? Fuck it, I’m in.”
Ursula whooped. Margaret reached for the glitter glue. Benedick and Beatrice visibly both ran through their mental rolodexes of coffee-related insults. 
From the entryway came the distant revving of a motorcycle engine. Borachio was no doubt doing wheelies in the foyer again, but that was a problem for house presidents, not innocent house secretaries who had done no wrong, thought Ursula as she returned to her reading and her growing mental to-do list.
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 22 days ago
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Family Man 3
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No warnings except that this is NOT a dark fic. Non-dark fics will be tagged as lightficsyouneveraskedfor but will be posted on this blog.
Character: Jake Jensen (The Losers)
Trope: Single-dad
Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone who reads this unusual posting from me. I typically swing in the other direction on fics but something lighter was calling.
Please reblog and leave some feedback if you read. You are appreciated and adored 🩷. Please have a wonderful day, week, year, etc.
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Elita has a way of convincing people to do things. Some might say she’s demanding. You just see a bright and bold girl. You hope she doesn’t lose that. 
So it is that you find yourself pulling in between two minivans behind a community soccer field. The kids in their uniforms practice drills as the bleachers fill with proud parents and bored siblings. You squint across the expanse but can’t make out the only two people you’d know there. 
You grab the tee shirt from the passenger seat and your belt bag. You snap it around your waist and aimlessly wander along the sideline. You follow a woman in khaki towards the benches. 
You see Jake as Elita stands on a bench and yaps at him. You stop to watch them. He wears a bright pink jersey that matches hers. It’s adorable. 
You approach cautiously. “Hey, you too,” you stand just behind them. 
“Ahhh!” Elita shoves her father’s shoulder and hops off the bench. She bounds toward you and snares you in a hug around the waist. 
“Um, I... I was gonna give you your shirt back.” You offer him the freshly washed Green Goblin tee. “But that’s a nice a colour on you. You a coach or something?” 
“Ha, no. I applied but uh... it’s complicated,” he says. 
“Right... forgive me, I don’t know much about sports.” 
“It’s just junior soccer.” He shrugs.
“Just? Well, I’m sure it’s a great game.” You pat Elita’s shoulder as she releases you. “You must be the best player on the field with all that energy.” 
“Sure am,” she boasts. 
“El, game hasn’t even started.” 
She pokes her tongue out at him. “Just wait.” 
A whistle blows. Jake flinches and cranes to see over his shoulder. He turns back and waves Elita over. 
“Go get with the team.” He says. “Good luck, kid.” 
“Don’t need it,” she bounces around the bench and runs to join the other kids. 
He faces the field completely and puts his hands on his hips. He sighs. You step up next to him. 
“She’s excited.” 
“Confident. I don’t know where she gets it from,” he says. “Thanks for coming. I’m sure you have better plans for a Sunday afternoon.” 
“Not really,” you admit. 
“No? You don’t have to lie.” 
“I’m not. My laundry can wait until tomorrow.” You smile. 
He nods and searches the field. “Appreciate it. She’s been talking about you coming all week.” He drops his chin. “She can handle ‘no’. She hears it all the time from me.” 
“I mean it. I don’t mind. She’s a good kid.” 
“Yeah,” he peers out at Elita as she jitters in spot. “I’m lucky.” 
“You do a good job with her. I’m not a parent but she seems happy.” You take a breath, curiosity tickling in the back of your brain. “If you don’t mind me asking, she never... never talks about her mom.” 
“Yeah, well, she shouldn’t worry about that,” he sniffs and lifts his head. He stares off at the sky. “Mom left her in my lap about two weeks after she was born. Don’t know where she went from there.” 
“Oh. I’m sorry. I... I was only—it's none of my business.” 
“You probably thought she died. That would be easier.” He swallows. “Who would leave that baby girl?” 
He’s quiet. You are too. Your heart knots. 
“Jake, I shouldn’t have--” 
“It’s just what it is. I like to think of it as a blessing. If I didn’t have Elita, I’d not have gotten this far.” He smiles softly. “She keeps me focused.” 
“That’s a good way of looking at it.” 
He reaches up and scratches his chin. “Maybe. So, you’re turn. Spill.” 
“Huh?” 
“Tell me something... deep. About you.” He challenges. “I mean...” he flicks his fingers against his neck. “If you want to. Wow. I was trying to be... I don’t know. That came out real pushy.” 
“It’s fine. I don’t know. What can I really say? Oh, well, I was in a five year relationship before I got ghosted. That was a good one,” you snort. 
“Five years?” He utters. 
“Apparently that was five years too long,” you shake your head. “Good riddance. I know better now.” 
“Sounds like. I’d be in no hurry to date if that was me.” 
“Well, it’s been a while.” Your pulse flutters. Careful, now. “Dating can’t be easy with kids, huh?” 
“Never was,” he mutters. “I mean—well, of course. Not everyone wants to be a mother...” 
“It’s definitely a commitment,” you whistle. 
“Mhmm,” he hums dully. “I should probably wait until she’s older.” 
You nod and peer out at the field. The game is in full effect. The ball bounces off of cleats as the small bodies scramble over the grass. You let the murmur of the crowd flood over the tense silence. 
Elita battles for the ball with another little girl. She gets her foot around and manages to pop it out to one of her teammates. As she pumps her arm in victory, the other girl topples like a bowling pin. 
A whistle blows and the ref shows a yellow card. “Roughing.” 
“Roughing?!” Jensen lights up in an instant. Elita stands defiantly before the ref. “She didn’t touch her.” He throws his hands up as he marches to the side line. “Hey, ref! You! Stripes! That girl took a dive!” 
The ref points Elita to the bench. She doesn’t budge and gestures with open palms. 
“Hey!” Jensen booms, his voice deeper than you’ve ever heard it. “There wasn’t any contact!” 
“Sir,” the ref turns. “You are not making it any better.” 
“Nothing happened--” 
“There are children,” the ref chides. 
“And? You’re letting them get away with lying? That’s-- that’s not right.” 
You stare, dumbfounded. It’s a little ridiculous that he’s so worked up over a kids’ match, yet you can’t help but find his passion endearing. In that moment, you see where Elita gets it from. When she’s right, she knows it. So does he. 
“Daddy,” Elita grumbles as she brushes by the ref. “Just leave it. They need the advantage.” She sits on the bench and crosses her arms. “Two minutes until I’m back out there to score.” 
You laugh. She’s so over confident. You wish you could be like her. 
“Hey, El. I was watching. I know you didn’t do anything,” he coaxes as he rubs her shoulder. 
“I know, daddy. But they’ll kick you out again,” she pouts. 
“They’ll try,” he bends over her and kisses her hair. 
She smiles and kicks her feet. She watches the game and he stays behind her. You sidle up. 
“Wow, these things get intense,” you chuckle. 
He looks at you then back to the field. “Yeah, I get a bit... heated,” he shifts. “Sorry you had to witness that.” 
“Sorry? That was amazing. You stood up for her. Nothing wrong with that.” You assure. 
“Every week, you know,” he raises his hand in exasperation. “Last week, they tried to red card her and she was standing off on her own.” 
“Oh, really? Definitely rigged.” 
“It is!” He argues. “They make you pay for the uniform and the cleats and the field,” he shakes his head. “Then they blow the whistle ever five seconds.” 
He clucks as his hands go to his hips. He’s thoroughly unimpressed as he glares at the ref. You sense Elita squirming on the bench and find her grinning at you. You give her a look and she smiles bigger. 
“Next time,” she turns back to the match. “I am going to throw an elbow!” 
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