#okay lowkey I ate the half rendering though

[sideswipesjetpack]

Rodimus 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Ft sunstreaker

[ceasarslegion]

how much do you hate art films 😏

Oh my god, okay.

I wanna be a director. That's what I'm aiming for cinematically if I can make that happen. I have very happily dedicated my life to a combination of cinema, political science, and history (like... revolutionary/PoC in America/grand leftist movements, etc. My subsection in history is referred to as histories of violence, but I don't think that encapsulates it well) so believe me when I say that film ideas are very heavily-based in historical/social commentary that I wanna render in some kind of artistic way.

I try not to judge different cinematic modes. I really don't, even though I will admit that's an area I can struggle with and am working on. But art is subjective, y'know? To each their own. I actually like avant garde because it kinda feels like a visual high. Eyeballs getting sliced open? Ants in his hands? There's no story here but that's cool. That's neat. Feels like I'm in a weird dream state. I like that.

Art films, though? Oh boy. Okay. Don't get me fucking started on art films. That's the one mode I can not bring myself to justify. It feels too much like the caricature of a film major who chews on cigarettes without smoking them because "i guess i just see things differently." Okay, Philip Glass. Let me know how that goes for you.

Nothing fucking happens in art films. Nothing. Nothing! Why am I here? Why must I sit here and suffer for nothing?? Did you know there's an art film that's just 8 straight hours of the same shot of the empire state building?? Fuck off!! Whomst is watching that? Mr. Warhol I must inform you that not a single person has ever watched Empire in full and everyone who said they liked it only said it to make you feel better

You know what happens in art films? Sad. Sad happens in art films. "Oh, I'm gonna cheat on my girlfriend but I'm a misunderstood loner and I did it for ART so it's OKAY." No, Brad. You're an asshole who watched A Clockwork Orange and decided to die on that hill but you couldn't even do that right. That film will take 3 and a half hours for that single and only plot point it has to happen. Nothing else will happen. You've fallen asleep twice and missed absolutely nothing.

Art movies feel like if that weird kid who ate drywall in high school and everyone lowkey suspected might grow up to be a serial killer had depression, a deviantart account, and a film camera. He tried to get into NYU film school on his 1-hour reel of a dog barking at a rainy window and said he was just too advanced for them when they rejected him.

I just-

I can't do it man.

I can't do art films.

Maybe it's my ADHD that won't let me pay attention to something with so little stimulus for that long without wanting to die, but no matter how you slice it I can't do it.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk