#one thing abt me is everything eventually comes back to taylor swift…

[sansainthesnow]

And it was written, I got cursed like Eve got bitten. Oh, was it punishment? ALICENT HIGHTOWER APPRECIATION WEEK 2024 DAY ONE → songs and poetry • loneliness • favourite quote(s)

[wttcsms]

✧ wttcsms works in progress;

a look into what's in my drafts because yes, i do write, thank you very much!!! please feel welcome to scream at me in my askbox and make me tell you more about any of the wips here

last updated apr 19 2023

it always leads to you — sae itoshi x f!reader

most likely a mini multipart series (probably around 4-6 parts, each only about ~6-7k words each). nsfw + plot (porn w plot)

current stage: prologue finished, outline needs to be done

current wc: 4k

current tags: exes to fwb/situationship to strangers with a history to awkward co-parents to lovers (relationship status: it's complicated!), pregnancy, child is part of the plot, angst, character study into sae, timeskip, homesickness, nsfw

started off as a one shot (5 times you can't escape the memory of your ex, sae, + the 1 time he comes back) but while writing it, i realized that the reunion between the two of you opened the doors to a lot more possibilities. originally, i just wanted to have it leave off at him on your doorstep whenever he decided to stay in japan bc he heard of blue lock and wanted to stick around & since he was in the area, he would find himself coming back to you. (he breaks up with you before high school graduation when he decides to go to spain). however, that scene spiraled into you & him reconciling, and eventually, there was an open sort of ending where sae decides that maybe the two of you do have a fighting chance of working out.

HOWEVER, i wanted to explore this dynamic even deeper, so the fic kind of spirals away from the canon timeline + i'm introducing a timeskip. you & sae have this weird ass long distance situationship where the distance feels like too much of an obstacle to overcome, the two of you are always on the brink of a "break up", he ends up visiting, the two of you kiss & make up and have renewed hope that this shitshow of a relationship can still work, and it's just an endless, toxic cycle, really. there's genuine love, but he's too in his head & in an entirely different country — world, really — from you, and things are hard and he's shitty at feelings. at this point, sae is 20 & making his debut into the world of professional international football.

on the same day he's about to sign with a great team, he receives a phone call from you.

you're pregnant.

he hangs up without a word. (asshole behavior but seems p in theme with what we're shown so far abt him)

the next part following that is another timeskip. this time, sae is 27 and moving back home to japan. he's in the middle of recovering from an injury, one so bad that he will never be able to play soccer again, especially at the level he was it. now he's back home, licking his wounds, and having to face everything he's spent so hard trying to run away from.

i think this fic is my first attempt at redeeming a character; i know we don't know much abt sae or his internal thoughts + intentions, but i'm having fun with fleshing him out as a flawed person who actually had good intentions. he fucked up, majorly, and reader isn't keen on taking him back. you're colder to him than you ever were, and you barely want anything to do with him. swapping the dynamic on him is also really fun to do as a writer; sae goes from the one who's out of reach and reader is the one chasing after him but now, reader is the person out of reach & sae is the one doing the chasing.

song inspiration: renegade - big red machine ft. taylor swift, cardigan - taylor swift, betty - taylor swift, exile - taylor swift, best - gracie abrams, i know it won't work - gracie abrams, the last time - taylor swift, tis the damn season - taylor swift, right where you left me - taylor swift

married (with benefits) — rin itoshi x f!reader

most likely a loooong one shot (~13k, hopefully not over 20k) nsfw / porn w plot

current stage: outline in progress

current wc: tbd

current tags: fake marriage/marriage of convenience trope, wag culture, single dad!rin, son's teacher!reader, BREEDING KINK, falling in love, mutual pining, oh no there's only one bed!!!!, jealous!rin, protective&possessive!rin, "don't speak to my wife like that" trope

original post talking abt this can be found here

basically reader is FLAT BROKE LMAO and is given the opportunity of a lifetime bc rin itoshi needs to save face and beat his awful ex-wife in their custody battle for his son.

my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue — jean kirstein x f!reader

nsfw / porn w plot one shot (~8k)

current stage: first scene that sets up the mood for the fic is completed

current wc: 1k

current tags: fwb to lovers, toxic relationship (not w jean), college/modern au, praise kink, love confessions, jean is just so sweet & so boyfriend ok, idiots in love, mutual pining, insecure!reader, nsfw

this was a request from a follower <3 basically reader originally likes eren and they're in a toxic situationship and reader is crying over eren at a party, you run into jean, he gives you the best dicking down of your LIFE. essentially, u fall in love w ur situationship but get a happy ending this time around lol

[luvspence]

darling, you’re the one i want

spencer reid x reader

{im not quite sure this is how a song fic works but this is basically stolen from paper rings by taylor swift, i’m using the lyrics as like prompt one liner things?????? idk bare with me}

- 1,3,4 are mainly fluff but 2 is a lot of fighting and bickering

——-

i want to drive away with you

“do you ever feel”

you took a pause in the middle of your thought, spencer spun around in his chair to face you

“indeed, i do feel”

“shut up i’m thinking” you said as you laughed and slapped him on the arm

“do you ever feel like, trapped? like boxed in almost”

he chewed on the end of his pen

“i guess? elaborate”

“well, i love my life. i have no regrets. but sometimes i feel like just running into the streets and screaming and keep running and never stopping? just fleeing in a sense”

“yeah, i get that. sort of an intrusive liberating type thought”

“exactly” you said tapping your finger to yourself head, a few seconds of silence passed before you spoke again

“i want to drive away with you”

spencer looked at you in confusion

“you’re all i need, seriously. i love everything in our lives right now i do, but i could go without all of it, besides you”

he rolled his chair up next to your and caught your hand in his

“i’d get up right now, keys in the ignition, and i’d drive into nowhere with you y/n. you’re it for me”

——

i want your complications too

you chased spencer up the stair way

“spencer!”

he turned around

“listen to me would you? every time i open my mouth it seems that you turn off your ears”

“i’m all ears y/l/n” he said, giving you more attitude than necessary, but you were having a hard time getting through to him

“that was unbelievably stupid! you could’ve gotten yourself killed! spencer this isn’t the first time, let alone the second, let alone the 7th time you’ve put yourself in harms way! this is so dumb spencer you understand this shit but you still are reckless! and don’t give me that crap about calculated risks”

you were fuming at him

“so what i’m alive, so is our victim what more do you want?”

“why are you turning this on me? i don’t want shit from you spencer! it’s not what i want! it’s your life! my god i shouldn’t have to justify to my colleague, god to my friend why i care about them being alive!”

“well i am alive. so i don’t know why you’re so bothered y/n it’s like your my mother or something” he said as he continued walking up the stair case

“no, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to put your life on the line and then treat me like i’m the irrational one. painting me as the villain when i only just care about you”

“why do you care so much?”

“because i’m your friend?! because i love you?!”

he ignored you and resumed walking up the stairs

“you know what spencer? it’s because i love you. it’s because i love you so much that it affects my sleep. so much that i always make you coffee when you come in. so much that no matter what i’m doing, where i’m doing or who i’m doing it with, you’re always on my mind. the problem is spencer, not that i love you, that i’m IN love with you. and even at that you can’t seem to let me in. so i don’t know what the fuck to do anymore”

a tear fell down your cheek as you slammed the door and left

spencer standing dead in his tracks on the stair case. honestly wanting to vomit

-

you spent the rest of your day scream crying. so many emotions that you couldn’t quite process anything

you were laying on your couch, radio head on your phone, dried tears on your cheeks when your heard the doorbell ring

you go and open it

spencer

“hi”

“hi?”

you stood in your doorway, looking at each other with swollen eyes

silence, 2 seemingly frozen bodies

until spencer opened his mouth

“look, i’m sorry.”

“yeah me too”

you were sick of him, sick of how he couldn’t communicate, of how blind he could be. but something about his face was so so good. you were about to shut the door in frustration before spencer started to speak again 

“and with what you said, about the love thing...”

he took a big gulp 

“i do too. i love you too. i mean i’m in love with you too”

what. the. fuck.

between the shock and the upset you were feeling, there was little part of your heart that warmed when he said those words. you opened your mouth to speak but spencer cut you off

“and i just wanted to say that because i uh i owe you the truth always. regardless. but anyway, i don’t think we should pursue that though”

you stood in your doorway in shock

you didn’t know if you wanted to fight him, cry, or vomit

probably all of the above

you were blank, nothing came to your mouth. you tried to speak, tried to scream , but the only thing that came out was 

“what?”

“i’m no good for you, you deserve someone who can be perfect for you. you deserve that truly. and i can’t be that. so i’m sorry but that’s just how it is. i just want you to be happy. you don’t deserve a guy that you have to yell at in stairways, that makes you cry until your eyes swell shut, a guy that cant reconcile his emotions for crap or can’t communicate or anything that i am. so im sorry, but i think this is what’s best for you.”  he stuck his hands in his pants

“so bye i guess”

you were paralyzed, a surplus of information hitting you all at once. you couldn’t quite process it but you knew you couldn’t just let him walk away

“you’re idiotic” you shouted as he was about to get on the elevator

“i’m what now?”

“idiotic. no ones buying the ‘i’m not a nice guy’ crap”

“it’s not crap, it’s true. i’m no good for you”

“oh please spencer you’re acting like this is your villian orgin story. first off, who do you think you even are? i’m an adult i don’t need a white man who doesn’t know how to brush his hair to tell me whats ‘good for me’”

“i’m just looking out for you”

“okay, thanks, but i’m a big girl spencer i know how to take care of myself. and even so i don’t even think thats what this is about. you know what i think? i think that you’re too scared to admit that you don’t feel the same way. which is fine by the way, but if you’re to scared to face the reality of whatever your feeling and youre covering it by turning it on me? by saying that ‘i’m too good for you’ thats fucked up and thats that spencer.”

you caught your breath and continued 

“because spencer i know you’re pulling all this shit about not being good for me but is that even true? spencer reid we’re perfect for eachother. in every way. and if you’re blind to that than whatever, but i don’t want you to lie to try and tiptoe around my feelings”

“ever since you walked into the bau y/n ive loved you. every word you’ve ever said to me get played on repeat in my head. i love you i would want nearly nothing but to be with you y/n. i love you that much. that’s why i’m trying to our myself above what i want and above whatever so that you can be the happiest you can be. it’s just that i don’t want to hurt you. you don’t deserve that. i never want you to hurt ever. and i can only prevent that by taking myself out of the picture”

“spencer, when i said i love you. it means all of you. i want every side to spencer reid. i want your complications too. it’s all worth it spencer because you’re the one for me”

you two stood there for a couple minutes. it was the longest and shortest time of your life. spencer eventually took a deep sigh and stepped in a step closer to you, looking down at your face

red from the crying, left eye swollen shut, giving him a weak smile

“you’re the one for me”

——

i want your dreary mondays

“thursday”

“no?! the worst day of the week is monday obviously”

“monday is underrated in my opinion”

you were conversing with spencer while walking through the park after dinner

“monday is the worst, it’s so hard after the two perfect days of rest to return the mundane process of life”

“sure”

“so thursday? story behind that?”

-

“hey have you seen spence?” you asked around the office, only getting head shakes

it was the monday after a long weekend, and spencer has had a less than ideal day

just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, spilt hot coffee on his pants, forgot his satchel at hole

you searched around for him, when you realized

when spencer was overwhelmed or stressed or sad or anything like that, he retreated to the basement file room

no one ever went down there, and there was a closet with a couch in it that was good for taking mid day breaks

you ran down the stairs, opening the door to the closet and sure enough spencer was there

“hey”

“hi”

he wiped his hand across his face, presumably for a tear

“what’s up spence?”

you said scooting next to him on the closet couch

“having a monday”

“i’m sorry to hear that, what’s going on”

“well besides the coffee incident and satchel problem...” he began to rant about how his day was going less than ideal. when he stopped abruptly

“hey, you don’t need to listen to this”

“i dont have to, but i want to”

“are you sure? i’d hate to bore you with my bad day”

“come on spence, i want your dreary mondays something you gotta recognize, is that you’re such an incredible person, that your bad days are better than most people’s best.”

“yeah, perspective right. my worst days are someone’s best”

“yeah, but don’t ever feel invalidated abt your bad days, you always deserve to feel upset, and i’ll always be here to listen to it”

“god i love you”

—-

wrap your arms around me baby boy

spencer wasn’t a touchy person

germaphobe habits

but something about you, he was magnetic to you

no matter what it was, on the jet, in the office, while in line at the grocery store, anywhere and everywhere he always had you in a hug

coming up behind you while you were cooking, wrapping his arms around the back of your neck while you were working

he adored you, and you adored him

after a case, the team decided to hit the local bar, nearing the end of the night, they started to play slower stuff

slower jazzier beats, the dj came on and said

“okay you couples! get up there”

a few couples hand gone up, you were tugging on spencer’s arm to accompany you up there

“well if you don’t go you know morgan will”

derek raised an eyebrow at him, and before you knew it he was dragging you on stage.

poor spencer didn’t know how to dance correctly, he was standing so far from you. hands in each other’s hands like middle schoolers

“jeez spence, wrap your arms around me”

you grabbed his hands, positioning them on your waist, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and leaned into his chest

swaying back and forth, as the sinatra echoed the other the bar and the click of garcias camera could be heard

and in that moment, nothing felt better or more right, than dancing in spencer reids arms

[zukkaoru]

📓

(If you are still doing it <3)

oh i will absolutely share another fic idea, i love talking about them!

this one is a prequel to where fire & ice collide that details how and why katara and azula’s feud began bc while i didn’t explain it in the fic, i did have the reason sitting in the back of my mind as i was writing. i just.... wrote the whole thing in one day and it was 7k words without me getting into katara and azula’s feud

the working title is don’t know if i hate you (or if i wanna date you), taken from the song bodybag by chloe moriondo and if you couldn’t guess based on that: katara and azula also had a secret relationship, but unlike zuko and sokka’s, theirs ended very badly and no one ever found out they were dating

originally this was just going to be a oneshot but then i started thinking about it while listening to various songs and tbh i could definitely be a multichapter fic.

my ideas so far are: katara meets azula at some Nerd Thing she’s at to support sokka, and they don’t really like each other at first, but they keep running into each other at like... mathelete events or whatever and eventually form a begrudging friendship that comes to a head when they bump into each other at a college party. azula is very drunk and mopey abt ty lee and mai ditching her, and she’s also being very clingy towards katara. katara ends up driving azula home bc she didn’t have anything to drink and azula tries to kiss katara and katara is like “no no you’re drunk and maybe i do really want to kiss you but i won’t do it while you’re drunk bc you’re not thinking straight” and idk it kinda turns into an argument bc azula’s sobered up a little at this point (enough to argue that she knows what she’s doing and she does want this) and katara shouts that she wishes azula was like this with her when she’s sober

anyway then they start dating but they don’t tell anyone bc they both think sokka would disapprove bc he’s on like an opposing team to azula or they’re constantly trying to beat each other out for first place or w/e

the relationship does not go very well though. like it’s great for a couple weeks! maybe even a month! but azula and katara are not people who should be in a relationship that has to be kept secret and it’s not specifically one person’s fault - they’re just. very much not meant to be together and the relationship is bad for both of them

so they end up having a really bad falling out, and still no one ever knows they were dating. they don’t tell anyone, so no one really knows why their feud started (which we see in wf&ic). zuko and aang know they were friends at one point, but sokka, mai, and ty lee are unaware of even that much

and then idk i might do like an epilogue or another part or something that takes place post-wf&ic that shows people finding out katara and azula dated and maybe deals with the two working through everything that happened between them so they can at least exist near each other so their brothers can be happy

also i do have a decent playlist for this already bc i've been thinking about it way too much lately: wish you were sober by conan gray bodybag by chloe moriondo homemade dynamite by lorde 1 step forward, 3 steps back by olivia rodrigo bad blood by taylor swift maniac by conan gray favorite crime by olivia rodrigo