#oop this is amy forgot to put that in the post

[arcadiahoney]

OTP Question Meme

I was tagged by @bimollymauks​ a little while ago, tysm Kit!!

Posting this on my oc blog, since I still feel goofy talking about them even though I love them so very much.

I have these vampires on the brain. I took out a few questions that didn’t work well for them. Here we go!

DISAGREEMENTS.

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Both of them, but never shouting or yelling. Just a little louder to emphasize their point.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Neither. That’s a huge thing to say and neither would ever do that.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Neither.

Who trashes the house?

Neither would do that.

Do either of them get physical?

NO!!

How often do they argue/disagree?

They butted heads a little on anarch stuff back when they first met, but now they pretty much agree on most things. If they argue now, it tends to be about one of them being reckless (usually Audrey).

Who is the first to apologize?

Could be either. They don’t like to stay mad at each other for long.

FAMILY.

Do they plan on having children/or have children?

They can’t have kids, can’t even adopt being what they are and the life they live. This makes Audrey sad sometimes, since she had wanted them at some point in her life before her embrace. 

If so, how many children do they want/have?

Audrey would have wanted like three.

AFFECTION.

Who likes to cuddle?

Audrey openly loves to cuddle, and though he may not ever admit it, so does Nines.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

Audrey slightly more so because she’s a pretty handsy person and always loves to be close but Nines often finds himself having to keep from reaching out to her. They settle for more subtle touches. They tried to keep their relationship on the down low in public for a while unless around close friends who already knew (it got out anyway). But when alone? They don’t hold back.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Audrey would stay like that forever if she could, and he certainly wouldn’t complain, but of course, they have a lot to do.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity?

Taking walks around downtown, fighting something together, just hanging out alone or going to a lookout over the city.

Where is their favorite place to cuddle?

The couch in their apartment.

SLEEPING.

I’m gonna break with the vt/m canon regarding how vampires sleep/torpor, because I can! :))))

Who snores?

Seeing as how they don’t need to breathe, I don’t think they would snore?

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

They share a bed after Audrey finally convinces him to move into her apartment with her.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

They usually are cozied up in some fashion. It took him a little while to get used to it, because he’s slept alone for so long, but now he loves having someone that close. Someone he trusts that much.

What do they wear to bed?

Audrey wears a tank top and shorts, sometimes a cute matching pj set or a big oversized t shirt and her underwear. He wears pj shorts or boxers and no shirt or a tank top

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

No, they wouldn’t work or need them anyway.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Both, it just depends on the night.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

These vampires can move in their sleep/torpor in my canon, so they both do. Audrey thinks his ruffled-up bed hair is so cute.

Who wakes up first?

Almost always Nines, because he’s been a vampire far longer and is just more acclimated to the whole vampire sleep thing. Audrey was a late-sleeper as a human, too.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Sadly, no breakfast in bed for them.

What is their favorite sleeping position?

Audrey likes to lay her head on his chest, and he will wrap an arm around her. Otherwise, cuddled up on their sides.

Do they set an alarm each night?

They don’t technically need them.

Who has nightmares?

Both, Audrey more frequently.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

Yes, though they rarely use it. They’d rather sit in the living room for that, and Nines doesn’t watch much tv anyway.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Audrey, which she loves regaling others with.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Nines, through he swears its unintentional.

Who makes the bed?

They both make their side of the bed. They have to do it as soon as they wake up or it would never be done. As a consequence, many days it stays unmade.

What time is bed time?

Dawn, as soon as that sun starts to rise its lights out for vamps.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Just the usual, showers, putting on pjs, curling up together and sometimes talking a little.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Audrey. It takes her a little while to adjust to being awake.

WORK.

Who is the busiest?

Probably Nines, since he has a lot to take care of. But Audrey keeps very busy, too, with her own responsibilities.

Who rakes in the highest income?

I guess Audrey, since she owns half of Confession and Nines doesn’t actually have a paying job. I know he has the Last Round as a haven, but I don’t know if he actually owns it. ?

Are any of them unemployed?

Technically Nines, and pretty much Audrey, too. They dedicate most of their time to the anarchs. How these anarchs raise any money for necessary expenses without some kind of stable income I don’t know. At least the Camarilla+Ventrue have that sorted out!

Who takes the most sick days?

They don’t have to worry about getting sick, but Audrey likes to take some time off from her anarch duties for “fun days.”

What are their jobs?

Nines is the leader of the LA anarchs. Audrey is a prominent member of the anarchs, and also co-owns a club downtown, Confession.

Who sucks up to their boss?

Neither, since they don’t really have a boss. Technically Nines is the boss, but he already doesn’t like people to think of him that way, so he wouldn’t like for others to try and suck up to him.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Audrey, but only around 10 mins late at most. She’s always on time for meetings and the like, but a trip into the warrens or something less appealing? Perhaps she will be running a little behind.

Who stresses the most?

Audrey, but only ever after the fact. Some of her impulsive antics do stress him out, though.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

They both are very dedicated to LA, and wouldn’t imagine doing anything else.

Are they financially stable?

I would guess so. Audrey should make enough with the club to pay her rent, but I wonder if the Camarilla owned the apartment building and had paid for her apartment? If so, now that they are gone, who owns it? I have no idea pfffft

HOME.

Domestic vampires!!!! WW is too cowardly to give us domestic vamps, but I’m not babey!

Who does the washing?

Audrey, since Nines probably doesn’t even know how to work a washing machine.

Who takes out the trash?

He would do this as a trade off.

Who does the ironing?

Either of them, if they needed to iron something, they would just do it. Though Audrey hates ironing.

Who does the cooking?

Neither, since they can’t eat. But Audrey handles making sure they have a supply of blood bags as needed.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Back when she was human, Audrey was terrible at cooking.

Who is messier?

Nines. He’d be more likely to leave something sitting out because he “needs it later.”

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Miraculously, they both usually manage not to do this.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Audrey would be the one to lose her keys, and they’d probably be right in front of her.

Who answers the telephone?

They only have cellphones, but if they had a home phone neither would answer it lol. Audrey is more likely to answer her cellphone, but only if she knows who it is.

Who mows the lawn?

They live in an apartment, so no lawn to mow!

Who does the vacuuming?

Now that’s a funny picture. They both would put it off until it absolutely couldn’t wait any longer. Then Audrey would suggest they flip a coin or something similar for it.

Who does the groceries?

Audrey would shop for necessities on her own most of the time, but would drag him along at every available opportunity. She likes doing human things, and all the better if she’s doing them with him :(

Who takes the longest to shower?

Audrey. 

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Audrey, for sure. Always gotta make sure she looks cute even if she’s about to go into the sewers :/

MISCELLANEOUS.

Is money a problem?

They certainly aren’t rolling in it, but I think they’d have enough for what they needed. And they are both happy with that.

How many cars do they own?

He has his motorcycle, Audrey has some sort of transportation eventually, since she gets tired of taking a cab. Maybe a small car, but she only uses it for longer distances.

What’s their song?

Currently its Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse

Do they live in the city or in the country?

They live in downtown Los Angeles.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

They rent (?) that apartment, I assume. Boy, now this is going to bother me not knowing ajsklsks

(me trying to figure out these vampires’ finances is like that meme of charlie from iasi/p at this point)

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

As much as someone can enjoy living in LA. But really they do love it, for all its faults. LA is home.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

For Nines, whatever anarch business he needs to attend to. For Audrey, her own anarch duties, shopping, and checking in on other anarchs like Isaac.

Where did they first meet?

Technically the night in the Nocturne Theatre downtown when Audrey was supposed to be executed alongside her sire. First time face to face was after Nines saved her from the Sabbat.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Audrey.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Audrey, but its usually something like a new sword or something silly like a cat shirt or a mood ring. Nines isn’t the type show off anything, but he wouldn’t mind if someone happened to admire his motorcycle.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Both are pretty stable on their feet, but neither would find it funny per say. It would just be like, “you alright?”

Who’s terrified of bugs?

Audrey is not a fan, but doesn’t like killing them. Nines tries to point out to her that you know, she’s a vampire and its just a little bug, but she won’t have any part of it.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

Audrey convinces a slightly exasperated Nines to take spiders outside. 

Do they have any fears for their future?

Both of them have similar fears. Namely, that they will not be able to defend LA if someone tries to take it from the anarchs again. That’s always a very real fear. Also, they both fear losing each other, because they know that’s a possibility with the life they lead.

Their favorite place?

The (werewolf-free) overlook they go to for some peace and quiet, as well as the roof of the Last Round.

Who pays the bills?

Audrey would handle it.

Who’s the tallest?

Nines (I headcanon him at like 5′10 ish maybe???, Audrey is 5′5)

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Audrey. She never gets any complaints.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Both would.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Audrey.

What do they tease each other about?

Audrey definitely teases him about his age and his cool guy routine from when they first interacted. He teases her about her aim.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

She doesn’t cringe, but does try and get him to change up his fashion sense. He still dresses like its 1949 for goodness’ sake. He doesn’t even question the sometimes wacky things she wears anymore. He’s just used to it by now.

Who crushed first?

Probably Audrey, but not for too much longer. They didn’t start crushing for real until after the events of the game.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

No.

Who swears the most?

Nines. Audrey doesn't swear that much, but when she does, you know she means business.

if anyone read all of this rambling I am so sorry askskjajskal but you have all of my <3<3<3s forever 

[melon-official]

🌙🌏 (lily, amy) 🌌 (ramen water, lily, sunny, atlas, dolly) 🪤 (sunny, isaiah) and 🚆 (lily) :dancing_man:

(cracks my knuckles so hard i break them off

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

-hmm.... i think lily has given up wishing. she doesn't do wishes anymore, besides "i hope we still have garlic powder in the kitchen cabinet", "i wish there was a choral cover of my favorite song on youtube already"... there's a deep-rooted desire in her for security and safety and stability, and she's always grasping for that. (and yet, at the same time, she can't ever trust it when it's right in front of her. you know how it is)

-amy's greatest wish WAS to leave kamabo with all her memories intact, and she has, to the best of her ability! nowadays she wants to experience the whole world and love all of it, decide what she doesn't love, and she wants her own opinions and as many real experiences as she can make. it's more of a goal than a wish but she makes it work

🌏 EARTH - will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

-lily already shares her world with those close to her. if she were ever in a position to lobby the stake of the actual world for someone in danger, she'd act rashly and try to protect/avenge the loved one when she sees the opportunity. i wrote this after writing the trolley problem answer and i think it's funny that theyre so similar

-amy gave up her world for someone she loved. and i think she would do it again. that counts, right?

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

-ramen water (the name and general concept) has been in my head since january + when i was vaguely thinking about splat 3. it's my sworn duty to put a character in a situation! here's some fun stuff about his name though

(after that ramen water became a subtle nod to him being 25% japanese. oops!)

-lily and sunny appeared out of the ether when i first started getting into splatoon; there are vague agent 3 headcanons on my blog that pre-date them being around as characters, but lily, sunny, and amy kind of manifested with each other. sunny's squee-g phobia was one of the first things i decided about him, and there were running jokes about amy being like a vsco girl because that stereotype (?) was popular at school at the time. lily's always been lily..... i remember associating her with the corocoro shirt since forever ago, so that must have been one of her first design choices :]

interesting fact about lily is that i used to be adamant that she not have post-sanitization heterochromia, and then forgot. so when i retconned that, her right eye color fades back to blue over time as the sanitation in her system flushes out

-atlas was created for the express purpose of a now-disbanded agent trio, and the first things in existence about them were their name (it was one i was considering when i was transitioning) and them being a little brat. they're awful by design. also the acne, that was very important to me

-dolly was first inspired by buds of mine who were interested in a zine about splatoon ost gijinkas, so she was first and foremost a gijinka of #14 crush. and i wasn't originally interested in making a song oc of my own UNTIL she came to me unprompted during a road trip! showing up loud and unannounced. dollycore

her character development arcs came later. after touching base with an oc or two who weren't mine, and creating this whole "hypothetical, of course" offshoot of their original dynamics

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

-that kinda happened for sunny.... she was assigned to a task that was too much for her at the time, but she didn't know it, and then misinterpreted her companions' cries to retreat as an indicator she wasn't doing enough. so ig the answer is that it depends on circumstance, but it's her own overconfidence that gets the better of her

-it's a tough one for isaiah because i don't think he's been in actual, real danger yet. i'm hesitant to put a 15-year old through anything like that*, but i think i'll have a better answer for this once splat3 comes around; im planning to make him a major player there

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

HAHAHAHAHH the trolley problem drives me bonkers nuts so im giving that to lily too! her answer: she'd do whatever it takes to save everyone on both tracks, likely endangering herself in the process.

-

*blatant lie

[laora-ryn]

Not the same anon, but building off of your cooking headcanons for the Meisters... what about the Ptolemy/Ptolemy II crew? What's your cooking headcanons for them?

i mean, lyle + saji + alle apply still

tieria gets less angry about other people not following the recipe to the milligram but he still does it himself because it's more comfortable for him

mileina isn't allowed into the kitchen by herself from experience. ESPECIALLY once they install a coffee maker

anew is a decent cook, but lyle loves cooking so she lets him do it most of the time

oh i just realized i misread your q oops well, ok i'll fix that now

ian practically lives on granola bars until joyce drags him to the mess because he needs more nutrients than that.

linda is also a terrible cook. it's a very good thing they live somewhere where most of their meals are freeze dried and pre packaged

joyce is decent at cooking. he leans toward easy/shelf-stable stuff due to his time as a med student and then abroad with MSF

sumeragi isn't...really...that good of a cook. but alle thinks she's amazing because she's about 34759038402x better than him

chris loves baking!!! she loves it so much, she tries to teach feldt and tries to give her the Authentic Experience by like, splashing flour on her except it was The Worst to clean up in null g so she gets side eyed every time she goes into the kitchen too even though most of the crew would kill a man for her cookies

lichty's not allowed in there alone after lasse watched him almost pull something out of the oven without a mitt on (and it's not like he could explain about the prosthetic hand, so he just accepts his punishment quietly)

lasse probably like, can cook super fancy stuff but can't boil pasta to save his fucking life. i cant tell you why it just feels right

feldt picks up a love of baking in the interim years as a way to honor chris. she's a good cook too but it's more of in the way "i can do this, it's not like i love it though????"

marie isn't much better a cook than alle but she at least doesn't light any fires. she's teachable. saji takes this on as a personal project once he sees alle in the kitchen

can i add graham? i'm adding graham he's sort of cb post-movie now right

because graham loves to cook. he loves to experiment with cooking on a level with the dylandy twins. it's just...he's so bad at it? like usually it's edible, but he doesn't have any sort of grasp on the spice mixes, and his pasta's always a little too done, and just. it's fine, it's just not good

i know she's not canon but i'm putting it in here anyway. amy's a decent cook but doesn't much care for it since she's so impatient, all the waiting around drives her nuts. but she's also a VERY harsh food critic, because her dad was a REALLY good cook so she knows what Good Food tastes like

is that everyone?? i think that's everyone if i forgot someone lemme know lasdkfjoasdjfl

[lou-bonfightme]

Catch Flights Not Feelings || [Amelouse]

In which Amy and Gail are visiting Paris while Toulouse is living there...[takes place in like September, but I forgot to post it when we finished, oops.]

@amelia-o-gabble​

[tw -- talks of murder and anti-magick sentiment, vague suicidal thoughts (non-descriptive)]

AMY: Amy arrived the week after Toulouse scittered off to France. His father’s house to be exact, which Amy thought was odd as the two Bonfamilles always seemed to be at odds. She supposed it ran in the family, to be so much like your parents that you couldn’t see eye to eye. 

The journalist could have stayed at her mother’s chateau, which was much closer to the incident she was investigating, if not for a variable of things. One, Amy was not speaking to her mother. And two, the chateau was sold to pay off debts of her mother’s making. Still, she made herself at home at her uncle’s estate for the time being. She was surprised, and happy, to have Toulouse’s company, nevertheless. Especially when she had small town rage to convey. 

Amy burst through the heavy oak doors of the music room with her tablet in hand, “Can you believe her? Oh, I absolutely detest that Annie Tremaine!” 

She threw herself onto the plush bench by the window to lament the loss of a great story to someone such as her work nemesis. “She fancies herself a real writer, you know? She’s a damned columnist, the Squire didn’t hire her to write anything more than fluff! I have a degree in investigative journalism from Cambridge and they have me writing about this memorial fountain! What’s her degree even in? Fake accents?” 

The fiery blonde huffed and looked up from her lounged position up to her cousin. She had many theories playing about in her head as to why he was here. It wasn’t safe for Magicks, especially werewolves, in France. She was aware Hector lifted the travel ban from Toulouse recently, that was the only way he’d be able to board a flight. However, the cogs still whirred, not quite clicking into place yet. Amy decided to prod anyway, against her better judgment. 

“I suppose you don’t want to hear about Swynlake drama though, since you’ve ran away to brood in your father’s estate?” She phrased it as an inquiry more than an accusation, hoping it wouldn’t strike a chord too harshly. 

TOULOUSE: Toulouse had not planned to be accompanied to Paris by his cousins, Amelia and Abigail, but he was not necessarily put out by the idea either. Did he wish that Amelia was Berlioz and Abigail, Marie? Yes. Did he wish they were Hades, Belle, and the children? Certainly. But Toulouse loved his cousins, just about as much as he could love anyone. And he was so, horribly, lonely. 

Also, bored. And bored for a depressed, manic Toulouse was a recipe for disaster. Though, he was telling himself that wasn’t how it was going to be this time. He just needed some time. He would return to Swynlake eventually. Or maybe he needed to reinvent himself, buy a cramped apartment on the Rue de Rivoli, along the Seine and spend his days painting and haunting the Louvre. 

He hadn’t decided yet.

When Amelia appeared, Lou had heard her coming, even though he had been playing Claire de Lune (one of the only pieces he had memorized) on the piano quietly. She had a bold stride, Amelia. It was impossible not to hear her high heels clacking down the marbled hall towards him. He didn’t stop playing as she came in and draped herself on the lounge, in a very Bonfamille fashion. He did, however, look up at her as he finished the stanza and then let the piano notes fade into silence. 

The dig made his eyebrows raise, but he simply took a sip of the glass of water he’d placed on top of the piano forte. 

“I designed that fountain,” Toulouse pointed out idly as he placed the water down, deciding to ignore the comment about him running away. Refuting it would be pointless and only open an invitation for Amelia to pry. Instead, he set his glass back down on its coaster and ran his fingers over the keys, playing a little arpeggio. 

“It sounds to me like you’re just put out that you did not find out about Princess Elena and Dr. Morey first.” He had decided not to address the dig, but that did not mean that he could not dig back himself.  

AMY: Amy rolled her eyes. Of course, he’d have something to say about her comment on the fountain. He knew this was not about the fountain! “Yes, yes. It’s lovely, truly, a beautiful piece,” she complimented dismissively.

If Toulouse thought riling her up about her work would get her off his trail, he was wrong. Amy was like a bloodhound when it came to a mystery. And this certainly wasn’t the first time in his life that she’d hassled him to be let in on his secrets. Her dear cousin should have learned by now that his silent suffering only invited Amy’s scrutinizing gaze. Even so, his comments still made their way under her skin. 

She narrowed her eyes, “I could have if writing trashy tabloid articles was in my job description. But alas, I do the work I am told to do for the Squire. I use my real skills on investigating for Foul. Which is why Gail and I are here, by the way. We didn’t just follow you to France.

But don’t take that as me meaning you aren’t under suspicion. Because you are.”

TOULOUSE: “And what, pray tell, are my crimes?” Lou asked boredly, transitioning smoothly into Claire de Lune. 

It was said in jest, but he did wonder. Had Ameila and Abigail been sent to check up on him? Absolutely infuriating, if so, but also--they were not the first choice for spying on him, but maybe that made them perfect for it. If it were Berlioz or Marie…Lou might not be so kind. (Yes, he was being nice. For now.) If it were Belle or Hades…the thought made him want to laugh. Neither of them would be coming. They simply did not care. 

Anyway, was it really such a mystery why he had run off to Paris?

It was his home. He had not been there for four years. There was no other reason. Obviously. 

AMY: “Not sure, yet.” She answered candidly. 

Amy was not aware of whatever toilings haunted her cousin’s mind. All she knew was that it had to be something significant to have him seek shelter with his father. Amelia always liked Hector, and even though they did not share blood, she felt as if they could have. Though she'd take the parentage of Drake Gabble any day, the politician parent she had was too ambitious to raise children. Which was why this sudden move made her question Lou’s intentions. She would cut off her nose just to spite her face rather than accept a summons from Laraline. So why had Lou come? Did he not house the same resentment towards Hector that she held for her mother? 

Amelia leaned up and expounded, “I never said you’d done anything wrong. Just that you were being suspicious. And you cannot deny that. You can say you felt a rush of parental affection and flew off to dear oncle Hector when he lifted your travel restrictions… but I don’t buy it. You seem troubled, Toulouse.” 

“That, and, you are up here. Not having afternoon tea with the rest of the house.”

TOULOUSE: “I came here because my travel restrictions were lifted and I have not been to Paris in almost four years. Does not seem like much of a mystery,  you are losing your touch,” he told her. 

He ignored the part about having tea with everyone. That was simply because he did not want to. Not because the library was the closest thing he had to his studio back home where he always retreated during his depressive episodes. Lou was safe in the knowledge that his cousins had not lived with him since his bipolar disorder had come on. They did not know his patterns, what he was like. And he was certain Marie had not spoiled it to them, because she was just as embarrassed, if not more so, than he was about it. After all, she’d never once spoken to him about what had happened, all those years ago, at the ocean. 

“Aren’t you here for an actual mystery anyway?” Lou asked, trying to turn her snooping around on her. Besides, Amelia quite liked talking about herself (family trait), so he thought it would be an easy distraction.  

AMY: “Distraction will only get you so far, but yes, I am here investigating a real mystery,” Amy answered all in one huff.

She kicked her legs off the side of the chaise and sat up properly, ankles crossed. “There was a murder in Compiègne a few years ago, but no one ever really solved it. Abigail and I think we can crack it with some fresh eyes and a bit less… French discrimination, no offense! I mean, they pinned it on one of the victim’s friends who just so happened to be a Magick. He’s still serving his time, but we don’t think he did it. The evidence they presented was all too circumstantial…”

Amy bit her lip as she poured through her memory of the files. Sadly, the French police using circumstantial evidence to seal the deal on any case involving a Magick was too common. It made her fear for her cousin. While he was in France he was in danger. Whether Hector could protect him or not, Toulouse was always going to be a target as a werewolf in Paris. “Lou? I have a question and I promise it has to do with the case and not whatever is going on with you.”

TOULOUSE: Once upon a time, the French discrimination that Amelia spoke of would not bother Toulouse. He had always thought those sorts of things were none of his business. For Magicks to work out with the government. It had been true enough for him, as the kind of person who never got involved in fights that did not directly affect him. 

But now: it did. 

Maybe if he had not been outed to the government from the moment he’d been bitten, he could have flown under the radar in France, but the English government had found out, which meant they shared that information with the French government and it had been splashed across the French tabloids long before Alana’s trial. Ever since arriving in Paris, the wolf was ever present. Irritated by the clashing sounds of the city. In every lingering stare and shut door in places he used to not only frequent but lord over like a king upon his throne. Now, he was no better than the rabble. 

The story chaffed, though Lou did not allow for it to be shown. Instead, he continued playing idly at the piano, only glancing up at his name.

“You are going to ask it anyway,” Lou said, meeting his cousin’s eyes and giving a brief flash of a smile. 

AMY: Amy smiled back, despite her tone being somewhat somber when she said, “Do you feel safe here? In Paris?”

The smile slipped and Amy leaned forward, invested in her cousin’s answer. She remembered loving Paris as a girl. The time she spent here with her cousins as children, and in Swynlake, were some of her fondest memories. But they weren’t clouded with the fear that her eldest cousin could be whisked away at any moment, a fear she had now. 

Swynlake was much safer, even for Magicks deemed dangerous like werewolves. It wasn’t that Amy thought Lou was defenseless. But she knew all too well that there were some things a name couldn’t fix. “I just worry. It’s been on my mind since we started looking into this case and you flew to Paris for the first time since… You don’t plan on staying do you?” 

TOULOUSE: Toulouse was glad he was not looking at Amelia when she spoke, for she actually surprised him enough that his face showed it. His fingers didn’t stop on the keys, but if she was listening closely he missed half a beat before he got back into the melody properly. 

It just surprised him. Her being so blatant. I just worry. No one said things like that. Marie, he supposed, sometimes, but only when she was particularly upset. It must be their soft English upbringing. That was what he would blame it on. Her soft British father. 

He wasn’t sure how to respond. His cousins had never been that close. Yes, they came for holidays every now and then. Christmases and summers on the coast of France, but that was all. Lou cared about them, of course. They were family. But he somehow never expected that affection returned. Certainly not enough to be voiced. 

“That isn’t about the case,” he finally said after a moment of quiet, only the music still playing very softly, his fingers dancing thoughtfully over the keys. 

“Unless, you would like for me to speak on the discrimination that pervades against Magicks here. In which case: yes, it is different than before but I’ve never cared about what people thought and I don’t intend to start doing so now. I am not worried about it for myself. I am privileged. My father exists in a position of power here. I am not an average person like whomever was involved in your case.” 

AMY: Amy did have a surprising thread of softness through her, and it did not come from her mother. It came from years of doting, bedtime stories, scavenger hunts, and the kind smile of her father. Sentimentality was his middle name. The Gabble girls grew up tough, in posh London schools where their mother’s name meant everything. Amy wore a cold, calculated demeanor like armor; too much like Laraline. But inside, inside was all built by Drake Gabble. The wonder, the love of mystery, the softness Amy felt for Toulouse now. The worry. 

“It could be, if you agree to be an anonymous quote…” Amy made up an excuse.

She stood and leaned against the piano, much closer to him now, so that she could lean over, “I know you say you don’t care what people think about you. It’s not what they think of you that worries me, it’s what they could do. Oncle can protect you from the law, yes, but what about the people who might wish you harm?

They’re trying to fight Magick discrimination and crimes against them in Swynlake. It’s rampant here, Toulouse. I’ve got a box filled to the brim of cold cases across the hall. All of them, the victims were Magicks.” Amy felt herself getting more passionate towards the end, she took a quick breath of air to calm herself. Maybe she was being selfish, scared to lose her cousin to distance again after just settling into a life with him in it. Still, her heart was in the right place, no matter how soft it was. 

TOULOUSE: Toulouse gave Amelia a doubtful look at the anonymous quote thing. He thought it was best they dropped the pretenses that this was about anything other than her concern for him. She should’ve just come out with it from the first moment, if that was her intention all along. Amy was dogged and determined. He liked these things about her. She was not delicate. He liked this about her too. 

He stopped playing as she came towards him. His hands slipped off the keys and went to his lap. 

“I can take care of myself,” he told her plainly. “I am a wolf.” 

And would it be so bad? he thought to himself, but did not say. Amy did not know that secret. It was well protected and he was not the sort to say such desperate things. They stayed, for the most part, locked behind his teeth, rattling around in his chest. That didn’t make them any less true for him to think. Would it be so bad?

If he simply disappeared one day? No one would know what had happened. He could rest, finally. If someone killed him for being a wolf, it would be for the same reason that things should end regardless: because Lou was a monster. If not of magic, than of his own making. 

“Ne t'en fais pas, Amelia. I will be fine. Paris suits me better than Swynlake. I understand her. She will learn to treat me as one of her children again soon.” He said this to convince himself, as well as her. 

AMY: Amy could see that in his melancholy, Lou would not be able to see past the clouds in the way she did. Her world was new and undiscovered territory in Swynlake, and for some reason that she could not understand, her cousin was amid a fog. 

It was not in her power to pull him from it. She set her face, sternly. Replying a quick, “Quelqu'un doit s'inquiéter, et ce ne sera clairement pas vous.” 

She only spoke back in French to be scathing. Much like she’d toss a retort back at her mother, slipping past her father’s discerning ears. “Now will you be joining us for tea, or will you continue to wallow and play your ghostly tunes and haunt this room as if you’ve already died?”

TOULOUSE: Toulouse scowled at Amelia. 

There were two paths here.

He could refuse. Continue to play the piano and ignore sitting down with Amelia, Abigail, and his father. This would be petty and the option that would get him talked about the most. He hated giving into demands. Especially when quipped at him like that. Perhaps if Amelia had asked softly, with big pleading eyes, so that he could make a show of placating her, he would not feel the urge to simply say no and ignore her. 

He could go, but to do so would be to agree, at least marginally, with Amelia’s assessment of the situation. And while it was correct, Toulouse did not like being caught out. Most of the family knew to leave him alone if he was sulking. He was not going to be good company. It was best for everyone if he simply did not attend tea. 

But if he did not go now, Amelia would worry even more and this whole conversation was so Lou could prove that there was no reason to be worried. And the way to win that check from Amelia was to go downstairs and pretend everything was perfectly fine. Smile when needed, speak when necessary, and be the version of himself that everyone knew and, many people, even liked. 

The thought of such things was exhausting, but still Lou rose, because he hated being looked at in the way Amelia had been looking at him. 

“You are far too morose for someone so pretty and lively,” he told her with a teasing smile as he rose from the piano bench. “Don’t think so darkly.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed both of her cheeks before sweeping past her and down to the dining room.

[septic-heart-and-mind]

“Say Goodbye” - “Who Is He” (Antisepticeye Fic) Pt. 10

Posted earlier but realised I forgot to actually put the chapter in, oops xD NOW you can prepare for the feels :P

@watermelonsinmyattic @steffid101 @emeralddoesthings @geekygirl0816 @odia13 @themultiplefandomlover @theoddowldoodle

My legs went weak under me and I collapsed to the floor with a thud. Anti glitched as he grew weaker and weaker. It began to feel like we were glitching between Anti’s darkness and reality, as I got glimpses of my room where I was before Anti showed up. Signe was kneeling beside me and cradling me on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry…” I choked weakly.

“It’s okay, I’m gonna get an ambulance,” she wept in reply.

“No… you can’t…” I spluttered. “I have to… to die…”

“No! No, I can’t lose you, Seán!” she cried desperately, cupping my face. I felt myself grow more and more tired. “Stay with me, sweetheart, stay with me,” she sobbed, caressing my cheek. I groaned as I tried to reply.

“I can’t…” I spoke hoarsely, the words barely getting out.

“Please, I love you,” she stammered anxiously.

“I… love you too…” I managed to say. “That’s why… I’m… doing this…”

Mark’s POV

Amy and I had suddenly began to reappear in the hospital, where we last were. Well, we seemed to be glitching between reality and the darkness of Anti. We knew that we had to find Jack and Signe. Even if he didn’t make it, we needed to at least be there for her - and hopefully we would get there in time to say goodbye.

Jack’s POV

I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to last. I felt like my life had almost drained out of me completely. I felt too weak to move, even just breathing felt like too much effort. Speaking was growing increasingly difficult. I wanted to stay alive because I didn’t want to break Signe’s heart, but I didn’t want to fight it because I knew that this was the only way to destroy Anti for good. I began to feel like ice, frozen with weakness and cold from dying. Despite me telling her not to, Signe called for help. I was too weak to stop her. I think she knew that she had to let me go, but she wasn’t ready yet. She only had to love me half as much as I loved her she would never be ready to let go. That’s why I fought death for a little longer; I wasn’t ready to leave her. But soon, it was becoming less of a choice. My energy to fight was depleting fast, and my heart was slowing right down. My breathing was shallow, and keeping it going was a battle that I couldn’t keep on fighting.

“I love you…” I told Signe while I still could.

“I love you, too, skat,” she sobbed in reply.

“I’m… cold…” I shivered. She lay down and cuddled me close with her head on my chest. “That’s better…” I slightly smiled, just about managing to put an arm around her. She wept on me as she knew I didn’t have much life left in me. The glitching was almost gone now, as Anti and I were close to dead. What little fight I had left in me was fading fast. My eyes grew heavier by the second. Time was running out for me and for Anti. I summoned my last bit of strength to tell her one more thing. “Signe…”

“Yes, darling?” she replied tearfully, looking in my eyes.

“If I lived…” I mumbled. I coughed. “Would you marry me…?”

“Yes,” she wept, “Yes, I’d marry you.” I used my last drop of energy to smile at her one last time. There was a brief happiness in her eyes followed by extreme despair and heartache. It was time to go; the glitches stopped and I faded away.

Signe’s POV

“Seán?” I cried. “Seán?” I repeated, shaking him. I listened to his chest and his heart was not beating. “No, no, no!” I sobbed. “Wake up! Please, baby, wake up!” I put my head on his chest again and I couldn’t hear or feel breathing, either. My Seán was gone. Forever. I screamed and sobbed as I held him in my arms, my heart shattering. The medics soon arrived, but they confirmed that he was dead. They did try and resuscitate him. As much as Anti terrified me, it didn’t frighten me as much as imagining a life without Seán. I didn’t even believe in God, but I began to beg, just in case. I wondered if this was what Seán did when I got hurt. They tried all the way to the hospital, but he still didn’t come back. They kept going a little longer, but to no avail. They soon had to break the news to me that he was gone. I screamed and cried so hard that I could barely stand. Luckily, Mark and Amy soon found me. They didn’t even have to ask what was wrong. They just knew by how I was. We got a taxi home, it was then that I saw that Mark was also crying his eyes out. Amy was upset too, but she was looking after him. I didn’t have my person to look after me. He was gone. I had never felt so alone in this world. Eventually, we got back home. Once we were inside, Mark hugged me as I sobbed.

“I am so sorry,” he said sorrowfully.

“He’s gone, Mark, he’s gone!” I wept loudly.

“I know that there’s nothing I can say to make it better,” he replied sadly and sympathetically. “But we’re here for you, Signe.”

“I just want Seán!” I cried, pushing Mark away. I then took myself upstairs, sobbing. I wept as I looked around our room, which suddenly looked so empty now that I knew Seán would never be in it ever again. I found his t-shirt that said ‘Berlin’ on it, which he wore quite often. I picked it up and smelled his scent on it. I held it close, crying harder. I got one of his little Sam plushes and wrapped it up in the t-shirt, before clutching it to my chest as I sat on our bed. The place where Seán was supposed to be sleeping. The place where I would lie awake at night missing him.

Mark’s POV

Amy sat beside me on the couch and held me in her arms as I cried. Not just for Jack, but for Signe too as I knew how heartbroken she was. Well, I didn’t know, I couldn’t begin to understand how much pain she was in. But I knew it was a heck of a lot.

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” I cried.

“I know,” Amy responded solemnly, rubbing my shoulder.

“He was so young… And - and he was such a good guy… He didn’t deserve this, Amy…” I wept woefully.

“I know,” she echoed with sorrow, her hand moving gently across my head. “Signe really did love him, didn’t she?” she continued.

“We all did,” I cried in agreement. “Millions of us did…” She cuddled me closer as I began to sob softly. “I miss him so much…”

“You know what you said about looking after me?” she said caringly, “That’s exactly what I’m gonna do for you now.” She kissed my head gently and I held her a little tighter.

Signe’s POV

Taking the little Sam and the t-shirt with me, I slowly made my way downstairs. Just as I got there, the phone rang. I didn’t want to answer, I didn’t feel like talking, but I picked it up anyway; the irrational part of me hoped it was Seán, telling me he was alright.

“Hello?” I spoke tearfully. It was the hospital on the phone. I couldn’t think why they called now - I hoped that it wasn’t because someone else I knew was hurt. I couldn’t deal with anything more, especially not without Seán to help me through it.

“It’s about Seán,” the woman on the phone said. “His heart, it’s… It just spontaneously restarted itself,” she explained.

“What?” I stammered. “You mean… he’s alive?!” I checked deliriously.

“Yes,” she replied, “He’s very weak, but he’s alive. And he’s very lucky, this is extremely rare.”

“Thank you, thank you so much!” I cried out before ending the call. I burst into the living room. “He’s alive!!” I shrieked.

“He is?” Mark asked with hopeful eyes.

“Yes!” I replied, “We need to go to him!” At that, we got ourselves back to the hospital as soon as we could. There was one thing we all wondered, though. He did indeed die, it had been declared officially, which would have killed Anti. The glitches did stop after all. So surely, even though Seán was now alive, Anti would remain dead?

[junker-town]

The 9 dumbest mistakes from NFL Week 12, ranked

Photo by Amy Lemus/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Almost everyone was sluggish in an ugly week in the NFL. But no one screwed up worse than Jason Garrett (again).

No one really wants to work hard this week. Thanksgiving — a perfect holiday that marries football, food, family, and online shopping — is mere days away. We are all just skating until Wednesday afternoon gets here and we peace out a few hours early to try to beat the traffic (spoiler: we will not).

That pre-holiday restlessness extends to the football field, apparently. Many teams, players, coaches, and officials looked entirely unenthused to be working this Sunday, because it showed in ugly game after ugly game.

Week 12 was summed up most accurately by the Patriots’ 13-9 win over the Cowboys. What should have been an exciting matchup between two of the most popular (and hated) teams in the NFL turned into a rain-soaked slopfest. The offense was at a minimum, the only real highlight came via a blocked punt, the refs decided to call two BS tripping penalties that confused everyone, and Jason Garrett’s decision-making might’ve earned himself a one-way ticket to New York.

(Oops, we might’ve spoiled the top spot on this week’s rankings. What can we say? We’re ready for Thanksgiving too.)

On that note, here’s a lazy bit of transition to bring you the nine dumbest mistakes from Week 12:

9. Mike Glennon fumbled twice in three snaps during garbage time

The Raiders got blown out by the Jets 34-3, and things got so bad that head coach Jon Gruden surrendered in the third quarter when he benched Derek Carr. That’s when backup Mike Glennon came into the game and promptly fumbled two times ... in the first three snaps:

Raiders QB Mike Glennon has trouble with the snap pic.twitter.com/FKsQkqPC2B

— Main Team (@MainTeamSports) November 24, 2019

Glennon stayed in for the rest of the game. He completed 4 of 7 passes for just 20 yards. His longest of five drives gained just 15 yards. He led the Raiders to exactly zero points. That’s the peak Mike Glennon experience right there.

8. The Packers keep going backward returning punts

Nothing much went right for the Packers in a 37-8 loss to the 49ers, especially on offense. The 49ers’ pass rush bullied the Green Bay offensive line. Aaron Rodgers was sacked five times, fumbled once, and put up a Blake Bortles-like stat line.

But don’t let that distract you from how bad their punt return game has been. Tremon Smith returned two punts for a grand total of -3 yards. That’s not great, but it’s even worse when you realize it’s been that way the entire season:

UPDATE: The Packers now have NEGATIVE 11 punt return yards on the ENTIRE SEASON.

— Matt Schneidman (@mattschneidman) November 25, 2019

The Packers are approaching historically inept levels with their punt return game. The 1965 Cardinals own the record for fewest punt returns yards in a season with 27, which is at least, y’know, a positive number.

So is the number of punt return yards Trevor Davis has with the Raiders this season: 108. The Packers traded him to Oakland in September, btw.

7. This terrible Mitchell Trubisky throw resulted in a pick, naturally

It hadn’t been a great week for Trubisky — season, really, but let’s just focus on this week. He was benched late in a loss to the Rams in Week 11, supposedly because of the hip injury he’s dealing with, even if everyone believes it was because he was stinking it up on the field.

Still, Trubisky mostly played better Sunday against the Giants. The Bears were up 19-7 in the fourth quarter and had a chance to add to their lead. That’s when he reverted back to his worst form and chucked the ball downfield right into the hands of Julian Love.

Julian Love!!! Guy had a rough week in his personal life. Getting his first real reps this week and his first NFL interception!! pic.twitter.com/9DKp2gYaIc

— Bobby Skinner (@BobbySkinner_) November 24, 2019

The Bears’ defense saved Trubisky and didn’t let the Giants score off of this turnover, at least. But it was his second pick of the game — the first came in the red zone — and the kind of terribly ill-advised throw that makes it easy to start picturing any number of veteran quarterbacks in a Bears uniform next season.

6. A Raiders stop turned into a Jets TD due to an awful roughing penalty

Oakland forced the Jets into a third-and-16 from the Raiders’ 20-yard line after Maxx Crosby picked up a clutch sack of Sam Darnold — or so the team thought. But Maurice Hurst’s dogged pursuit of the New York quarterback was ruled too violent for the back judge, even though nothing about his clean-up tackle seemed excessive.

One of the worst roughing the passer calls you’ll see. Probably cost Raiders four points. pic.twitter.com/Bu59Zd9Epd

— Dan Hanzus (@DanHanzus) November 24, 2019

Jon Gruden, uh, was not happy to say the least!

I think Jon Gruden said “Happy Thanksgiving”. pic.twitter.com/gKWRLirNB7

— Ryan Field (@RyanFieldABC) November 24, 2019

Instead of third-and-long, the Jets were treated to first-and-goal from the 4-yard line. One play later, Darnold scampered into the end zone to give his team a 10-3 lead.

5. Cam Jordan gave a Panthers’ drive new life with a stupid punch

The Saints got off to a 14-0 start early against Carolina, but the Panthers fought their way back throughout the second quarter to close that gap — and they can thank Jordan for six of those points.

Demario Davis had wrapped up quarterback Kyle Allen for the Saints’ second straight sack, bringing up what should have been fourth-and-long with a little more than three minutes left in the first half. But as officials whistled the play dead, Jordan swarmed Allen and decked him with a punch/shiver combination that connected with the Panther’s facemask and sent him to the turf.

Cameron Jordan tried to punch the ball out after the whistle and smashed Kyle Allen in the face instead, which is frowned upon pic.twitter.com/QQycxKnExJ

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) November 24, 2019

This post-whistle forearm strike led to an easy unnecessary roughness call from the back judge. Rather than punting on fourth-and-26, Carolina was gifted a new set of downs. The Panthers then drove 56 yards to score a touchdown as time expired in the first half, cutting what could have been a 24-9 New Orleans lead down to 17-15.

Jordan would take to Twitter afterward to claim responsibility for his mistake shortly after the game.

Sheesh! Gotta hear that whistle... was trying to punch the ball out and make a big play ended up costing my defense... that’s on me gotta hear that whistle...

— cameron jordan (@camjordan94) November 24, 2019

He’s lucky it didn’t cost them the win because ...

4. The Panthers couldn’t get the ball in the end zone late AGAIN

For the third time this season, Carolina couldn’t score late in the red zone when it needed to. With just over two minutes left, it looked as if Kyle Allen was about to lead a game-winning touchdown drive. After Ron Rivera won a defensive pass interference challenge (AGAINST THE SAINTS), the Carolina offense had first-and-goal from the New Orleans 3-yard line.

Then the Panthers’ offense went backward, and lost 7 yards in three plays:

Coming out of the two-minute warning, Panthers kicker Joey Slye missed a 28-yarder, which allowed the Saints to counter with a game-winning field goal of their own to win it.

The worst part about this? This is now the third time the Panthers have lost a game late because they couldn’t score in the red zone. During losses to the Bucs and Packers this year, Christian McCaffrey was stopped short of the goal line.

3. Carson Wentz forgot how to throw a football

The Eagles had a chance to take an early 7-0 lead over the visiting Seahawks when Wentz dropped back on third-and-9 from the Seattle 10-yard line. Tailback Miles Sanders had darted out toward the sideline, and a soft toss would give him the chance to find the end zone and make a statement that the two-point home underdog wouldn’t be easily dismissed.

Instead, Wentz made a very different statement, one he’s made entirely too often this season.

Carson What? pic.twitter.com/22r9hkIijX

— Sean Wagner-McGough (@seanjwagner) November 24, 2019

Wentz threw a pass straight out of junior high gym class, missing Sanders by roughly five yards. The Eagles settled for a 28-yard field goal moments later.

2. Russell Wilson topped Carson Wentz with an even worse miss

The throw by Wentz to Sanders was bad, but that one wasn’t a guaranteed touchdown. The Eagles running back was going to evade a Seahawks defender or two to get into the end zone.

Wilson’s overthrow of Jacob Hollister in the end zone was way worse.

Third and goal, Wilson runs out the pocket and throws a duck to a wide-open Jacob Hollister.#Eagles got lucky. pic.twitter.com/QFAdylacRv

— DIE-HARD Fans (@Eaglesfans9) November 24, 2019

There’s a real chance Wilson wins the NFL MVP award and his ability to avoid the Eagles’ pass rush at the beginning of the play was a perfect example why. Lobbing a ball way over Hollister’s head and out of the back of the end zone isn’t going to help his résumé, though.

Rather than taking a double-digit lead in the second quarter, the Seahawks had to settle for a chip-shot field goal to go up 10-3.

1. Jason Garrett coached his way out of a possible upset win over the Patriots

Neither Dallas nor New England could generate much offense on a cold, rainy, and windy afternoon in Foxborough. That weather, combined with the Patriots’ suffocating defense, put a premium on points for Dak Prescott and the Cowboys. And this idea, apparently, terrified Jason Garrett.

Or, in other words:

Jason Garrett is such a chicken shit.

— David Fucillo (@davidfucillo) November 25, 2019

The Cowboys’ head coach opted for a field goal on fourth-and-7 from the Patriots’ 11, cutting a 13-6 New England lead to 13-9 with six minutes to play and reducing Dallas’ burden from needing a touchdown in the final minutes of the game to ... needing a touchdown in the final minutes of the game.

So why not go for it? If they had failed to convert, then the Patriots would’ve gotten the ball deep in their own territory and Dallas could’ve relied on its defense to force a punt.

Instead, the Cowboys didn’t touch the ball again until there was 2:38 left on the clock and they had to start from their own 8-yard line. Dallas’ day came to an unsurprising end when its ensuing drive gained just 17 yards (thanks in part to a questionable tripping call) before a turnover on downs.

Garrett’s decision ensured the Cowboys only lost by four points and not seven. It also left Jerry Jones frustrated. At this rate, maybe Garrett will be coaching the Giants next season after all.

[missmaclay]

I could make this post about my entire 1,5 week trip through the UK, but I’m sure y’all only want to hear about the last day in Liverpool ;).

Quick recap of where I’ve been and what I’ve seen though; Telford (met Jeremy Jordan, David Harewood, Brit Morgan, Rahul Kohli and more), London (met Mehcad Brooks, Stephen Amell and much more), went to the Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Ripley’s, Wembley, Bath, Stonehenge, Windsor castle, Big Ben, Leicester square, Piccadilly and spend a lot of time in the Underground. Also saw the new Alien film AND Beauty and the Beast.

Anyway, that’s not what y’all wanna hear. Here’s my recap of May 29th;

I woke up in London after 2 days of HVFF. Went downstairs for my lovely UK brekkie (HASH BROWNS!) and then jumped in the shower and off I went. To Euston station to catch a train to Liverpool. Apparently, it was the first train to go straight to Liverpool from London that day, earlier ones were cancelled. Thank God I’d splurged on a first class ticket. I heard people had been standing the entire trip (2 hours!). Anyway, the train ride is beautiful. Would have been better if it hadn’t been raining, lol. 

Got to Liverpool a bit delayed due to a signal failure (uh-huh..) and the taxi stand at Liverpool Lime Street is insane. So many folks needed one. BUT I got to my hotel for around 4, thankfully. Since I was around the corner from the venue, I saw the Cavern already when the taxi dropped me off. Queue the nerves. The hotel was beautiful too. Beatles song playing as you walked in, lol. 

I hadn’t eaten since 9 am that morning so I Googled mapped the area and saw that there was a Gregg’s nearby. Perfect, sausage roll it is. I was there half an hour before closing time, but apparently they don’t care in Liverpool, because the door was locked. Oh well, a bag of crisps and an apple it is. Met up with @amyroot near the venue and we walked around a bit, the area is pretty cool!

Anyway we waited outside like we thought we had to when we were informed that the line had already started inside. We rushed downstairs and joined the queue. This was at 6pmish. 

The earlier concert started at 4pm and our gig was supposed to start at 8pm, but they were still doing M&Gs so everything ran a little late. No problem, everyone should get to do their M&G but my damn legs were killing me, lol. 

Pleasantly surprised there was some seating in the venue when we finally got in. Not near the front, but it’s OK, we could sit. I’ll upload some actual videos from the concert so I won’t talk about that, but them singing “Imagine” and then bringing Anni on stage were awesome.

Before the M&Gs started, they had an auction for St. Vincent’s school, all DC stuff. I have to admit that the two guys doing the auction were hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. They auctioned some stuff in the venue and said the rest would go online (haven’t seen it yet anywhere?)

Onto our M&Gs. I have no idea how many people were there but it seemed like a never ending line, lol. I think they started around 10/11ishpm with the first people. I think they first said you would get a photo, 1 minute to talk and 2 things to sign, but of course all of that went out the window pretty soon. They managed to have a pretty good system. First person you saw was Nathan (who gives amazing hugs), Gemma or Angelo would take your photo with Nathan, then when the person in front of you had finished talking with Chyler, you’d move onto her and get hugs, photos and autographs, etc. Pretty good system.

Nathan ended up walking/running around the hall and thanking people in line for their patience as it was taking soooo long. Folks who had to catch a bus/train/whatever were pushed to the front, that was a good idea. 

I was eating tic tacs by that time (it was nearing 1am and we were still in line) because I hadn’t had dinner, but they hadn’t either. Nathan was having a discussion with someone in line, leaning over the barrier when Chyler tried to get his attention for something. He was too focused on whoever he was talking to though, so he didn’t hear Chyler calling for him. Her calls for “babe. love. honey. love of my life.” were completely ignored until the guy (Neil?) from the Canvern lovingly shouted “Nathan darling!” very loudly, lol. THAT’s when he turned around. 

Around 2am we were finally at the front of the line. The security who ticked your name off of the VIP list was hilarious, too. All the staff were. Pronouncing my name for him the way it’s supposed to be didn’t help the poor guy. To be fair, I couldn’t understand him either. Damn accent, lol. 

Aaaaanyway, it was finally our turn and Nathan straight off the bat asked about my necklace and we proceeded to geek out for several minutes over PS4 games. We apparently took so long I looked passed him to see Chyler on her own, the person in front of me already left. Oops. I hugged Nathan (and in my haste forgot to take a photo with him) and rushed over to Chyler. Now. As I’m sure you can imagine, I cannot explain or descibe how that was. To see Chyler up close, giving her a hug, talking to her. No words. She asked what I was talking to Nathan about as we both looked so passionate about the subject, lol. She’s absolutely amazing. Gave her a massive bag of gummi bears and she loved it, lol. I printed off a photo from the I love you scene which she signed with “I <3 you” which... asdfghjkl. We chatted for a bit (fun fact; the dibs gun is NOT the gun her son drew, which she talked about at SDCC I think?) and I thanked her for coming over and doing these things, and she thanked ME for coming over. Can you believe that? Like, duh. Nathan was off to bathroom at that point so I moved to the side to give Amy some time with Chyler while I waited to Nathan to come back to get a double photo (him and Chyler) which we then did in turns. It was great.

We walked off to the side to collect everything and put photos etc. away when I realised I hadn’t had my photo with Nathan. I didn’t want to interrupt their whole thing they had going so we waiting until the very last person had gone (4 am people!) for us to go back and get the last photos. Nathan was very happy to oblige and we even snagged another one with Chyler as the lighting was pretty awful where we first were. I had to pull poor Chyler away from her McNuggets, that was probably the first food she’d seen since 3pm, lol. 

Managed to actually say what I wanted to say to Chyler at that time (I was so nervous before) and thanked her for everything she’s doing for us as a community and even though we have Twitter it’s impossible for her to see every reaction so I wanted to personally say we all appreciate how she fights for us. 

We got caught talking a bit to the people from Charity Pulse and St. Vincent’s too, lovely people. Ended up nearly cleaning out the venue as we were the last people there (those big boxes aren’t even that heavy). Nathan AGAIN thanked us for coming said we were ‘amazing’ and then we finally walked out of there.

It was 5am when I finally calmed down enough to goto sleep and I looked out my window and it was daylight already. 

When I woke up, everything hurt from so little sleep, of course. Went downstairs for my last day of UK brekkie (HASH BROWNS!). I walked over to the corner of the room as I didn’t want to take up a 4 person table by myself but I was shoo’d away to another side of the room as they’d already made up these tables for lunch. Well, okay, whatever. I plopped down at a 4 person table and as I look up I see Nathan and their 3 kids also enjoying a UK brekkie, they were staying at the same hotel as me, lol. 

As they left he recognized me and said hi and we wished eachother a good day and that was that. Spent some time shopping and then went to the airport (The driver was an Everton supporter, which isn’t good for me as a Liverpool supporter) and went home.

I’m a little flu-y now but I’m enjoying going through the videos and photos. It was an amazing day and they were very positive about doing a gig in Amsterdam so I hope to see them again very soon.

[itsjayyyy]

November 24, 2018 6:57 pm

Well, I think this is the first time that I’ve written some big plan in a journal and actually followed through with it. So yeah, I did do a lot of apartment hunting. I first tried my college’s (and the local art college’s shared) sublease facebook page for students. And it was hell, I mean someone would post about a room for rent for $700 and within 15 minutes, 4 people would have already said “I pm’d you!” Like damn. There’s no way I’d be able to find a place in my budget that isn’t gone already. I was about to lose hope and just look at my college’s affiliated apartments and hope for next academic year, but then I found a page, on my college’s website, that allows you to post a sublease for others. And this website was hidden so well, I’ve never seen it in my entire year of apartment hunting. A lot of them were in my budget (less than 600), and one stood out in particular, it said “my girlfriend and i are looking for a roommate for our 2/2 apt, etc etc” but then at the end it said “must be lgbt friendly because we are very much lesbians” and i was like sign me the fuck up. I messaged them on a wednesday, thursday rolled around and no reply (i was like, they have an android, maybe they just don’t check their phones as much as iphones do), but then it was friday and I gave up. I went back to the listings, messaged another couple in a 2/2, but on saturday still hadn’t gotten a response. Sunday I became a little more frantic. I messaged a third listing, waited ten (10) minutes before deciding that they also were unavailable, and messaged 3 more all at once. and then i laid on my bed and lamented about how I would never be able to move out. And then I got a reply from one of them!!! she said it was still available, roommates are two other sophomore girls at ucf, it’s unfurnished, etc. I was pretty down to take it but then, about 30 mins later, another person replied. And suddenly I remembered why, when I used Tinder, I only messaged one person at a time. The second person to answer me was in the same complex, but $100/mo cheaper. It’s like, I already got pretty far in talking to the other girl, I felt like even if it were cheaper I couldn’t go back on it. So I hit up rose and asked if she wanted to smoke. Her me and peter looked at the places online, and they both said go with the cheaper one, but another issue was how they texted. The first girl was pretty warm, using exclamation points and emojis, but the other girl was just “yes, it’s still available. when are you looking to move?” like such a cold vibe. (yes I know it’s stupid because 100 is 100 and I wouldn’t even be moving in with her, I’d be taking her room but still.) Even though both of them said go with the cheaper place, I felt that I should go with the other.

But then the next day in bio, I was asking for more details and I felt like she did seem kind of cold, like saying “ask the leasing office” and not really offering a time for me to see the place. So I texted the other girl saying I wanted to move in around early december and she became super enthusiastic. Like she sent me a good 20 pictures of the place, and even said I could come over that day to look at the place (this was last monday). I did, around 5:30 (well I came at 5:15, then left to go to the boba shop next door, then came back). She was waiting for me in the parking lot bc I got super lost (I forgot that the numbers outside of the building is the ADDRESS. I didn’t look at the listing’s address I just read the name of the complex and went there. oops.) She seemed to be south asian, like from there but have been living in america for at least a few years, she said she’s moving out because she just got married, etc. The apartment had a style that I would probably describe as oatmeal- light brown carpets, cream walls, very bland, very 2000′s low-income apartment. But hey! I love it! It’s got its own bathroom, walk-in closet, and a huge window facing the back of the property so when I want to smoke I’m gucci. (off topic: I haven’t listened to cherry bomb by nct since feb 5th. wow. That was prob around the time when ami showed it to me in chem in spring.) I told her that I would apply for the sublease the next day, and I did. Despite not having any classes or any reason to go to the east side.

They said that they check 3 things: a credit score of at least 650 (i have a 695), 3x the rent in income (rent is 535, I have 700 from work and 1000 in scholarships per month), and rental history (yeet). They said if you don’t have one of the requirements you can make up for it with either a guarantor, “like a parent cosigning” (YEET) or a larger security deposit. The girl subleasing the place said she was fine with giving up her security deposit, like she didn’t even want me to pay her for it, so I’m going to see if I can add another 300 onto it so they might let me sign. They told me they’d let me know likely on Monday or Tuesday. Also on Tuesday I’ll be going to a meeting for the pride association with a friendsgiving theme, since obvs not every gay kid can go home to a loving family. Maybe I’ll find someone there. Recently I’ve just been becoming so damn bitter about being single, ugh. Like, not bitter enough to identify as an incel, but like, bitter enough to spend all of my time self-loathing.

So I haven’t been able to tell if things have gotten better or worse between me and rose, or if it’s just my period coming up that is making me act like this. In one of the low points of self-loathing (I’m still single, I have no friends, rose is the golden child in the family while I’m hated, rose’s stupid boyfriend comes over for dinner 6 days a week when I could NEVER be afforded that luxury, I’m ugly, etc), I was isolating myself in my room, scrolling down the homepage of reddit, when I saw a post on r/lgbt that was cross-posted from r/gaming or something similar. It said “in the new pokemon games, professor oak doesn’t ask if you’re a girl or a boy, he just says “what do you look like” with different options. Before I could be like “yea fuck the gender binary” i had to be like “there are new pokemon games????” And I looked it up and there were. But it was on the switch, not the 3ds. I messaged rose about it, but she was off on her 6-month anniversary with peter so she wasn’t super interested (she did say “oh don’t buy it” bc it was 350). Let me tell you, when you feel like nobody loves you, the one sure source of love is a credit card with a $2,500 line. I got out of bed, got dressed, and went to target and bought a switch, with the new game. And I played it all night. It was better than any other pokemon game, because it was a revamp of the original game, and I grew up playing pokemon leafgreen, the first revamp of the original. I was reliving my childhood. Of course, when I posted it on my story, rose messaged me, saying “did you seriously buy it?” Like yes, I seriously bought it, because my parents never bought me anything other than the legal bare minimum as a kid, because unlike rose, I have disposable income and aren’t burdened with creditors, because I want something fun to occupy the time so I don’t spend every waking minute wanting to kill myself. Is that so bad, that I spent $350 on something that gave me more happiness than anyone else ever would?

Another thing that pissed me off: after I said yea I bought it, her first reaction was “are there two player games?” when I said it’s mine, I bought it, she said “what if I bought one too?” Why can’t I ever have something to myself? She has her own life, her own personality, her own friends, but whenever I have something, she HAS to have it too, or at least put her hands all over it. I buy a video game? She has to play it too. I listen to a new band? She has to listen to them too. I say I’m queer? She cheats on her (now ex) boyfriend with a girl to experiment and say she’s 1% bi (and then promptly never touches a girl again. and doesn’t come to pride. and doesn’t participate at all in anything related to the lgbt community.) It never ends, she yanks every interest out of my hand, parades it around, before tossing it back to me, all crumpled up and gross.

Two days after I bought it, I had begun to stabilize. Was my mood improving because of pokemon, or because I’m getting closer to my period and my hormones are balancing out? The world may never know. 

My mom finally enrolled in healthcare. One day, I told rose that I wanted to go hang with peter, and she said “after dinner.” I was like, I literally want to avoid dinner because of our parents, that’s the point of us hanging out, they don’t love me. And she, being the centrist she is, gave her whole “yes they do love you, at least mom” spiel, at which point I brought up that neither of us have healthcare. From when I was 12 all the way to adulthood, everyone in my family knew that I needed braces, not just for cosmetic reasons but medical too. And every time I asked my parents, they’d say they would be getting around to it soon. Which is the exact same rhetoric I heard about my healthcare, now as an adult. But I knew that mom had already enrolled dad in his healthcare, so why are rose and I still left in the dark? After saying this, rose spent the next week twisting mom’s arm, and since everyone loves rose, she got around to it. It’s gonna be 134 per month, but I’m paying for it via scholarship in january. I still haven’t told my parents I plan on moving out, I probably won’t until I get approved for sure. Just gotta wait for Monday/Tuesday/whenever.

So, I’m being stalked. (okay i feel like this update is jumping all over the place, but I’m just trying to go from one complete topic to another, not chonologically bc then I’d miss something.) One day I was walking from the library to visual arts, when I saw out of my periphery walking towards me was what looked like savon. We didn’t make eye contact, and right then peter replied to our game of cup pong so I looked down at my phone as I responded with my move. As I walked past him, I heard him mumbling something to himself (something he often did if he wanted to get my attention without making it look like he was trying to get my attention). I felt like I wanted to die, just being within a 10 foot radius of him. 

And it got worse. The next time I had to go to that class (maybe monday? idk), I didn’t see him on the sidewalk, but as I walked into the building through one door I saw him going out the other door, as in the one next to me. He was wearing sunglasses (indoors?) and carrying one of those first-year engineering student boxes, and looking in my direction. I was looking at the door, of course. It doesn’t take a detective to figure out his m.o.- stand around the entrance of the building (that he saw me go in at 2:25 pm on a mwf day), where the windows are tinted, so he would be able to see me going in but I wouldn’t be able to see him inside. After class I hid in the bathroom for 45 minutes, because I was so afraid that he was waiting outside of the building or something. UGH. why do I have to live in fear on my own damn campus. Luckily, I only have one more class meeting in that room for this semester, and I’m probably gonna come a whole lot earlier, and from the other entrance. What scares me is that I posted my schedule on snap, and spriley saw it. I mean, it was at an angle and kind of blurry (caption was more important, just me bitching about how I’m gonna be on campus from 7am to 7pm). And I don’t think that spriley would take the time to watch my 6-second story a million times to copy down the classrooms and times. He just outright doesn’t like me, nothing like savon’s weird obsession with me, a girl he knew in high school but otherwise hasn’t spoken to in almost 2 years. I’m calling it now, if anyone shoots up ucf, it’s gonna be savon.

So let’s lighten the subject a little: we’re almost to the end of the semster!!!! It’s this week, then finals week, then that’s it. And as a matter of fact, this week is the online exam for sociology, and the roundtable discussion for composition (and the video I’m gonna knock out real quick, so I’ll be done soon.) My last three exams are all going to be done on Wednesday and Thursday of finals week. So Monday and Tuesday I don’t have any classes, so those are the days that I’m looking at moving out on. It’s lit.

Last week I posted on my snap how someone parked a limebike in a motorcycle parking spot, and heather messaged me saying “girl where have you been.” I mean, she made no attempt to contact me for the last month, but whatever we’re living our own lives. I told her I was focusing on school and stuff, and she said we should meet up. I was like yea sure, but the next day she didn’t show lol. She later said she was taking an exam and it was way longer than she expected, but we never made plans to meet up again. I guess that’s just the way most high school friendships go.

Okay I think I’m gonna end the update here, I’ve covered almost everything important. Tomorrow, Sunday, I work at cinnabon closing 2-9. I’m gonna grind to finish this econ homework tonight, then monday I’m gonna start rehearsing my presentation for comp or whatever. Start studying for finals, maybe take my final in sociology, ya know, just play it by ear.

(wow it’s 8:46 now. this update almost took 2 hours.)

[valerybrennan]

February Small Goals

It cannot be February already. I refuse to believe it.

Okay yeah, I believe it. But it’s really unfortunate because January kicked my bootyyyyy. I actually got a lot done and accomplished a whole lot – unfortunately most of it didn’t line up with my small goals. Eek. In case you’ve never read a small goals post before, each month Nicole from Writes Like a Girl hosts a linkup for bloggers to share a few goals for the month. Make sure to head over to her post and get inspired by all the other small goals! Let’s review my goals for Janary:

Film and post 2 YouTube videos – ….oops. I mean, I filmed one, but that’s as far as I got.

Write and post at least 4 beauty posts – ….nah. I did one. (A Lipsense review! You can read it here if you’re interested.)

Finalize business paperwork – Sheesh this should have been an easy one but, to be honest, I straight up forgot this was on my list.

List services on my blog – YAY! I did this! I’m now offering Pinterest critiques and management services, you can read more about them here.

Continue to work out and eat healthy – Yeah! Granted, I can do better but I’m gonna give myself a win for this!

Alright here’s what I’m looking to accomplish in February.

Keep up with my small goals – Is this cheating? Whatever, I’m including it. I don’t mean that I have to accomplish all my small goals, I just need to make sure they’re actually on my mind throughout the month.

4 beauty posts on my blog – But for real this time.

Re-establish a cleaning schedule – Y’all. My house has been out of control lately. For the sake of my own sanity, I need to get a cleaning schedule put back in place.

Finish at least one book – I’ve really been slacking on my reading lately (lately, meaning like…the last year or more). I started Amy Poehler’s “Yes Please” a few weeks ago and need to finish it up! If you have other similar suggestions, let me know. (I’ve read Mindy Kaling’s books and Bossypants, but anything similar is great!) I also love mystery books, anything that’s a “page turner.”

Drink 3 (or less) Cokes a week – Ugh I reallyyyyy didn’t want to include this, but I need to. Cokes are my number once vice and I really need to cut back.

What are you working on this month? Can you *believe* it’s already February?!

xoxo Valer

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