#out of the many that i've started and never finished

[akiretv]

YOU CAN'T GET THIS FROM AN EGG!!

[buckybabybaby]

not like this (not on your birthday)

Plot: rushed confessions over a dodgy comms link with Bucky.

(friends to lovers, mutual pining, confessions, angst, bff Joaquín cos if he’s not your love interest I’m still including him <3, happy ending)

A/N: my birthday was over a month ago - this has taken a lot longer than I imagined! I originally started writing this about 4 years ago so I’m happy it’s finally finished. Joaquín wasn’t in this at first, I had Tony in his place, as Joaquín wasn’t the falcon, so may be being slow worked out for once because I think he fits so much better <3

I have a load of other birthday themed fics here <3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: angst, near death experience, feeling/being trapped, talk of dying, being in hospital

Word count: 3.8K

Masterlist

AO3

***

As the dust settles from the ceilings you've just fallen through, the emergency lighting proudly displays the level you've found yourself on.

Nineteen. Minus nineteen to be precise, hundreds of meters from the surface, from safety, from hope. You scoff at your naivety, thinking this was going to be a simple recon mission, just grab the files and destroy the building once you're out. That's all you needed to do, not end up in a pile of rubble, radio sitting besides you looking almost as broken and useless as your ankle feels.

You'd studied the plan for today so many times that even now, with a possible concussion from the fall, you know the exact timings by heart, confirmed as you hear the first explosion in the distance. Just an outbuilding for now but the rest will follow shortly.

There's not much time. With shaky hands you reach for your smashed radio, even though it feels pointless, pressing every button on the device in the vain hope it'll do something. Nothing, of course, until a crackle in your ear reminds you of the secondary communication link, less reliable but all you have.

Bucky's voice has never sounded so good, steady and calm and bringing tears to your eyes. You're going to miss him

"H-hey," You croak, mouth dry.

"Where are you? Are you safe?" His tone is sharp, even through the tinny speaker, leaving no room to lie.

"Not really"

There's silence for a second too long and you think you've lost the link, until; "Where exactly-"

"Nineteen floors down, with an ankle twisted so badly just looking at it is making me feel sick. The passage we thought would lead us out of the building into the forest had been filled in, and when I tried another route the floor gave in so now I'm just, kinda, stuck. I'm sorry Bucky."

You speak in a rush, catching your breath after as the silence from the comms drags on again, this time accompanied by the far off sounds of dynamite destroying concrete bunkers.

Finally he replies. "Okay, I'm on my way."

You sigh, far too composed considering. "Don't be silly, Bucky, you can't. I know you're at least a mile away. Even if you weren't, I'm too far down to get to before…"

You don't finish the sentence, not needing to.

In one ear the intercom provides muffled indistinguishable shouting, in the other you're aware of the building creaking as parts of it collapse.

You don't want that to be the last thing you hear.

"Bucky? Can you talk to me? For as long as the connection stays. I don't want to be alone."

"You won't be, we'll get to you."

He sounds desperate and you feel the first tear fall. "Okay." You let him believe you believe that. "But can you anyway? Please?"

You can envision the tension in his posture, the way his jaw is probably clenched, metal hand likely crushing something as he works through the impossible situation. It sounds like he's just sat down heavily, his chair protesting as he breathes out.

"Just something nice, happy. Please?" You press when he doesn't reply. "Like, my birthday? It's soon, did you know?"

He laughs, once, sad. "Of course. I've been looking up cake recipes. You remember that slice I got you from the bakery a few weeks ago? I wanted a full cake but they don't do that, apparently. Ridiculous. So I'm going to try to make it myself. "

"I can't imagine you baking."

"No? Well, you'd be right."

"Did you put your arm in the dishwasher again?"

"Now that's just rude."

You grin, feeling lighter. He always makes you feel better, no matter the circumstances, his friendship one of your greatest treasures. It took a while to break through his walls and win him around, but you did, and now you can't remember what it was like not having him so close.

"And presents?" You ask, remembering last years haul. "What has the great Bucky Barnes bought me this year?"

"That's the best part." His tone changes, pride obvious. "I really had to think, you're not easy to buy for but I'm sure you'll like what I've got you."

"Intriguing. What is it?"

"Not telling. It'll ruin the surprise."

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Bucky, please. I don't want to die not knowing."

You can hear the way he chokes on his words as he answers. "You won't die."

"Okay, but can you tell me anyway? So I have something to nice to picture while I'm here."

If he was with you, you'd use the face you make that gets him to agree to anything. It seems your words have done the same trick today. Listening as he rattles off a whole inventory of smaller presents you smile, resting your head against the wall behind you.

With your eyes closed it could be any other evening chatting away with Bucky. Those were your favourite moments with him, sat somewhere cosy in the compound, letting him rant about a mission, or the latest scheme of Sam and Joaquín's that has wound him up, sometimes memories from before the war and his and Steve's early years.

"And you know that coat you wanted but said you couldn't justify?" Bucky finally ends his list. "I got the blue one. That's the main present, most of the smaller ones are either in the pockets or tucked into the sleeves and the hood as I wrapped it up. So you'll get one at a time as you open it."

"Like pass the parcel?" You chuckle at the thought. "That would have been nice."

"It will be nice," He corrects.

Your eyes sting. You're almost convinced.

Another explosion shakes the floor beneath you, causing loose rubble to trickle down from above, covering you in a fine dust and making you cough. It brings you back to the present, reminds you that you're on borrowed time.

"Bucky, can you promise me something?" You're the one who sounds desperate now, not waiting for him to respond. "Promise me you'll start sleeping in your bed more often?"

"Of all the things-"

"I know you don't unless I make you," You interrupt, thinking back to the times you've stayed over and found him on the floor at night. "I also know you sleep so much better when you do."

Bucky makes a non-committal noise but you don't let it deter you.

"You deserve nice things Bucky. Deserve to be comfortable, to enjoy the little luxuries."

"I do. With you."

Your chest hurts with want. "Okay. And when I'm not there? Please be kind to yourself."

That was something you've said to him countless times, after missions that went wrong, or when he'd woken up from a nightmare and you'd calmed his mind. You knew all about his insecurities, the endless guilt you've tried to chip away at, hoping one day your positive words will outweigh his dark thoughts.

Even as the shock from your fall fades and the pain from your injuries cuts through the adrenaline, you need to tell him one more time.

"You are not responsible for your previous actions. And even if you were, everything you've done since has more than made up for it. But there was nothing to make up."

He doesn't say anything in reply, letting you continue your monologue as the thoughts keep coming.

"And will you allow the others in a little more, when I'm not there? They care for you. It was hard work to get you to open up to me, don't let it take as long with them."

Shifting your weight off your bad leg, you swallow, needing to say this next bit even if your heart protests.

"And do you remember when we talked about you trying to go on a date again?" You definitely do, and how you wished you were the one he wanted to ask. "You should. You deserve to find love, Bucky."

That finally gets a response, laughing disbelievingly as he says, "No one can love me."

"Yes they can."

"You're just saying that. How could they?"

You take a deep breath, against the light-headedness and also to steal yourself for the coming confession. "How could they? Very easily, Bucky, because I love you. Not in the way Sam and Joaquín do. In the way that someone loves someone with their whole being, loves someone so completely it leaves no room for any doubt. I just wish you could see yourself the way I do."

The rumbling sound of dynamite fills the air as your tears make tracks through the dirt on your face. The sharp pain running through your body keeps you alert as you wait for his response, hoping you haven't said too much, haven't made him uncomfortable with this forced declaration of love.

"Bucky, did you hear? I said-"

"I heard."

Closing your mouth again, you let the static sit over the comms, let him absorb your words.

"This is not how I imagined you saying that to me. Not like this. Not through a call." He breathes out eventually.

You smile sadly. "Me neither."

"I never imagined you'd be the one to say something first."

Frowning, you try to understand. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you must know how I feel about you? I've been waiting for the right time to see if you felt the same too. Was planning something for your birthday if I found the courage."

Your head is spinning, from the conversation and the blood loss you've just noticed you must have.

"I mean, I know I said earlier no one can love me, but I get the feeling someone could when I'm with you."

You wish you could hug him, you get the feeling he needs one right now and you certainly do. This wasn't part of the plan, leaving Bucky with even more trauma was never the intention and you can only hope he doesn't blame himself for what’s going to happen to you.

"Bucky, can you promise me something else?" You rush out in a panic. "Promise me you won't hide away after this. I know it's not easy to lose someone but let the others help you through it, okay?"

"Oh, sweetheart. That won't be necessary."

You miss the pet name and how his voice has softened, too worried by the implication of that sentence. "What do you mean by that? It's okay to ask for help, please don’t-"

"No, doll. I'll be okay 'cos I won't be losing you."

A light from above blinds you momentarily and you squint against it, wondering if you're hallucinating the Falcon suit as it lands in front of you.

"You two are breaking my heart," Comes the unmistakable voice of Joaquín from inside. "Do you know how long I've waited for one of you to snap, to finally say something?"

A delirious laugh bubbles out of you. Whether or not this is real, you allow yourself to be comforted by the sight, to pretend that rescue is possible. Letting him scoop you up, it soon becomes clear it is reality as your laughter turns to a gasp of pain, the movement sending pain shooting through your ankle and a previously unnoticed injury to your thigh.

"Stay awake for me, okay?" He says, seeing your eyes flutter.

You give him a less than convincing nod. Adjusting his hold on you, he starts the ascent back to safety and you go limp.

Joaquín shouts your name but, knowing that even if you still die at least if will be in the arms of your best friend and not buried under a tonne of concrete and metal, you let the darkness drag you under.

***

There's a steady hum filling the room as you finally stir awake. The world feels heavy and fuzzy and far too bright, you're in pain all over, worse in concentrated areas, one of your ankles, your thigh, the back of your hand. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath.

Opening them again, on the side of your bed you spot a head of messy brunette hair, but not that of the person you expected. Deep brown not blue eyes meet yours as Joaquín shifts and blinks across at you, his face lighting up as he sees you're awake.

Sitting up, he wipes the sleep induced drool away from his mouth with a quiet laugh. "Don't tell Bucky I dribbled."

You laugh too. It hurts. Wincing, you attempt to adjust your position, Joaquín stepping in to help you move the pillows until you're a little more comfortable.

Staring down at your body, you try to assess the damage.

"Is it broken?" You ask, nodding towards your cast.

"Yep. Sorry pumpkin."

"Pumpkin," You repeat back with a giggle, long used to Joaquín's cute terms of endearment.

You let him fuss around you as you take in your surroundings. You would recognise the medical wing in the compound immediately, especially after spending so much time there after Joaquín's last accident only a few weeks ago.

You try to piece it together. "How did you get to me so quickly? Weren't you back at the base on bed rest?"

"When have I ever done as I'm told?" He smirks. "No, I snuck out and man and I'm glad I did. Your tracker dropped off the system and I moved straight away, it was lucky you weren't too far from your last location."

"I thought they locked away your suit when you're out with an injury?"

"They do. Sam nearly had my head, going against every order to get to you. But only for a second until he saw there wasn't another option."

Your eyes are wet as you realise the same thing. "You saved me."

He shrugs. "Just like you do every other mission."

"No Joaquín, this is different." You argue shakily. "I could have-"

"But you didn't, okay?" He own voice trembles as he clasps your hands. "You're safe. A broken ankle but not much more. Everyone else is safe too," He adds, answering your question before you can ask. "You know I'll always be there if you need. That's what we practice for, what a team is meant to do."

He wipes away your tears, keeping hold of your hand as you let his presence comfort you. It's quiet for a moment, save the machines monitoring your stats, but with Joaquín silence never last long.

"And on a positive note, I think Bucky finally likes me now."

You roll your eyes. "Bucky liked you already."

"Maybe. But now I've saved the love of his life I'm basically his best friend."

His cheeky grin has you hiding your face in your hands, memories flashing back. "Did I embarrass myself?"

"Don't you remember?"

You do, but you're not sure what is real and what you've imagined. Not the whole thing, obviously from Joaquín's teasing, but are you misremembering the reciprocation?

"Has he been here?" You ask, desperate to speak to him in person and not over a crackly comms. Maybe it's the painkillers but you feel brave in a way you're not used to when it comes to Bucky, something only a near death escape could contribute to.

"You just missed him. I've just manage to persuaded him to go eat something finally, he's been moping around in here for days."

"Days?" You gasp. "How long have I been out?"

Joaquín's expression softens. "A while, pumpkin. Tomorrows your birthday, so nearly three days now."

"That's quite a long time," You say weakly.

"And Bucky didn't leave your side the whole time, until an hour or two ago. You've got a good one there."

"I haven't got him," You mumble, trying to suppress your smile.

"Not yet," Joaquín sing-songs, fluffing up your pillows as you think over the meaning of Bucky staying by your side, more sure than ever you need to see him.

The universe answers your wish. A rustling at the door to your room catches both of your attentions, a bunch of balloons and flowers entering the room followed by a super solider who has, in your opinion, never looked so good.

"Joaquín, how it's going in-."

Bucky stares across at you when he sees you're awake, and as you take him in it's like the rest of the world fades away. His shocked expression melts into that smile you love, your own face mirroring his, cheeks warm.

Joaquín snorts. "Well, I'm going to take that as my cue."

Pressing a quick kiss to the crown of your head, he starts to leave, passing Bucky on his way out. Joaquín hesitates, then also kisses him on his forehead, having to stand on him tiptoes to reach and laughing crazily as Bucky tries to swipe at him as he dashes out the room.

Seconds later he pops his head back around the frame. "Remember, I heard everything, so don't pretend it didn't happen. For my sake as well as yours."

Letting the door close softly behind him, you're left with Bucky, your previous confidence fading slightly as he watches you quietly.

You shift your focus to something else to stop it getting awkward. "What's with the balloons?"

"Oh." Bucky seems to have forgotten about his handful of decorations, finally placing them down on the long window sill and drawing one in particular out from the colourful bunch. "Your birthday, of course. I've still got a few minutes left until the big day."

Tying the sting around your bed frame, he let's you pull it down to see the pattern on the face of the balloon, a red star on silver.

You laugh at his proud grin. "How long did you spend looking for this?"

"Not too long. Had to get back to you."

That sobers you up. Swallowing, you gesture for Bucky to sit in the chair Joaquín was previously occupying, breathing becoming a little irregular as you try to find the right words.

Bucky starts for you. "Ignore what Joaquín said, if you want to forget what we said then we can."

You shake your head, noting the way he looks as though the very thought is breaking his heart. "I don't want to forget anything."

He smiles at that, a little nervous still. "So, when you said-"

"Yes."

"That you love-"

"Yes."

"You weren't just saying that 'cos you thought you were going to die and wanted me to believe that I'm worthy of something as pure as you?"

You scrunch your nose up at his phrasing. "We both know I'm not exactly pure." You say, reaching for his hand. "And I would never say something so important if it wasn't true."

"So you really love-"

"Yes."

It's like every ounce of tension leaves his body at your reassurance. You share a soft, promise filled smile before he's rising up and collecting the flowers from the pile of gifts he brought.

"That’s good, otherwise the bouquet I've got you would be really awkward."

"Friends give each other flowers," You argue as you take them, admiring the artful way they've been arranged.

"Not ones where they've specifically asked the florist to add flowers that portray how I feel about you." Sitting on the edge of your bed he points to each bloom in turn. "This one is for true love, this means that I'll always be loyal, this is devotion, this one I think is for-hey, don't cry."

How can you not, when this is what you're met with? Bucky can be so charming, you've seen it when he interacts with others at press conferences and during photo shoots, but this is the first time you've felt it directly.

He dries your eyes as something shifts between you two. "The flowers are great but I think this is the point where you kiss me."

"Oh yeah?" He smirks, placing them safely on your bedside cabinet. "Sure you're recovered enough for that?"

"Try me," You challenge, letting him guide your head back against the pillow before his lips find yours.

He's so gentle with you, barely brushing your mouths together before he leans back to check on you. Letting out a whine, you grip his collar to bring him into your space again, into a sweet kiss full of the pent up longing you've both been suffering.

But when you try to deepen the kiss, eager to feel him as close as possible, the room fills with an ear splitting noise that has you pulling away with a confused cough. "What's that?"

"Your heart monitor."

"What! Like Tony's?"

"No, silly." Bucky laughs gently at your panic. "A heart monitor. Checking it's not beating too fast cos your boyfriend is getting too enthusiastic."

You completely melt at the term boyfriend, urging him to lay down with you, letting Bucky shuffle carefully so you're laying comfortably, half on him.

As you listen to the beeping slowing back to just above its regular rate, you remember another detail from your life changing conversation.

"Will you still sleep in your bed? I don't remember you actually promising me."

Bucky hums thoughtfully. "That has more to do with you being there than the mattress or anything."

You all ready suspected that, but the confirmation has you sighing, wanting the best for this man. "Guess I'll just have to stay over more often."

You're mostly joking but Bucky certainly isn't. "Won't hear any complaints from me."

"I better not." You say, curling up more into his side.

Bucky takes a moment to check his phone, making a startled noise before showing you the screen displaying two minutes past midnight.

"Happy Birthday, doll. Just you wait, I have a few surprises for you."

"Ooh yes, my coat!"

Bucky scoffs. "Well, that's not a really a surprise now I told you, is it? Nope, I had to go get a whole new set of presents so you wouldn't know exactly what you're getting."

"So I'm not getting my coat?" You say with a pout.

Laughing at your expression, he reassures you. "Of course you are. And a whole lot of other things that you'll find out about later."

Resting your head on his chest, you soak up his warmth, his heartbeat solidly comforting. Bucky subtly adjusts you against him as he sees the pull of sleep try to take you.

"And as soon as I can, I'm taking you on a proper date." He promises. "We can have a do over, a second birthday to make up for having to spend it in hospital. It wasn't meant to be like this so get ready, that one will be really special."

You take in your surroundings, the flowers, balloons and gift baskets, and most importantly, Bucky, so attentive and so beautiful beside you.

You press a short, none heart racing kiss to his cheek. "This ones been pretty special all ready."

***

(Bucky doesn’t forget about your cake either, presenting it to you after your breakfast the next day. Its not the prettiest buts it perfect cos he made it for you <3 )

***

AO3

[beardedhotchner]

Covid Test

A/N: It's my first little bit of smut I've written! But the second ive posted! I hope you guys enjoy, Amia xx

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader

Summary: Reader give Aaron head one morning. Later that day during Covid testing, Penelope is told that male DNA (sperm cells) are found in Reader's test. The team tease them relentlessly.

T/W: Oral sex (M recieving), no use of y/n, teasing from the team, based during covid

Aaron Hotchner was a private man. Anyone who knew him knew that. No one more so than you, his girlfriend, and his subordinate. Work was work. Home was home. That's how it was, and that's how it would stay.

Very early on, he confessed his reliance on Dave as a confidant, and you had Emily. You both agreed that the others in the team didn't need to know the ins and outs of your relationship, no details other than the basics. Professional. That was how it was.

They didn't need to know what you both did as soon as you weren't Agent and Unit Chief and just yourselves. They didn't need to know how Aaron could make you come undone with just his voice. They didn't need to know how Aaron groans when you take him in your mouth. They didn't need to know how many times you had christened his office. And his car. His kitchen. Your living room. Both your bedrooms. And bathrooms. The jet bathroom, too. No. That was something the team definitely didn't need to know.

You both maintained strict boundaries about your relationship at work. So when covid lockdowns started, and you moved in with Aaron and Jack into their apartment, the team didn't press for details. They all made small comments separately about how happy they were for you. But it wasn't made a big deal. You and Aaron were grateful for that.

You were both so enamoured with each other, sometimes it was hard to separate work and play. You did it... just not always easily.

For example, that morning: Jack was at a friend's for a sleepover so you didn't have to worry about getting him to school. Aaron had looked delicious, as always. It was just you and your man having a quiet morning. Of course, it started at 6am, Aaron waking up first heading to the bathroom. You had followed behind him giggling, attacking him in the shower. Within moments, he had you pinned to the wall, your legs around his head as he devoured you. No better way to start your morning than SSA Aaron Hotchner's plush lips on your clit and his thick fingers pumping into you. Spurred on by your mewls and gasps, Aaron pulled two orgasms from you before you begged to suck him off.

"Please? Please, baby?" You had asked inbetween kisses, tasting your own juices across his lower face and tongue. He chuckled in that filthy low tone that made your knees weak and agreed. You wasted no time dropping to the shower floor, your hands pumping at his length. You look up at him, wide eyed, and being to run your tongue along the underside of his cock. His cock feels solid and warm against your tongue as you take him in your mouth.

"Fuck angel." Aaron curses out, his hand going to your hair. He spews praises as you pick up your pace, gently swallowing around him, "Such a pretty girl on your knees for me." His words shoot straight to your dripping core, tears curling at your lashes. "Fuck. Good girl." His grip tightens on your hair as you continue your ministrations, swirling your tongue across the head of his cock. "Angel, I'm gonna cum-" He groans as you suck harder, letting him fill your mouth with his hot cum. You keep eye contact as you swallow and Aaron chuckles at you, "Such a needy girl. Good job, angel."

You had finished your shower and gotten ready for the day slowly. Your lips on his shoulders and back as he tried to dry himself with his towel. Aaron would bury his head between your thighs once more as you tried to dry your hair. You were insatiable, the pair of you. You could never get enough of one another, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Usually the first two to arrive for the day, you were greeted with several knowing looks from your unit as you and Aaron stroll into the conference room together. Spotting Penelope's large covid tester kits, you groan as you realise it's another test day. She needed all the samples from everyone in the unit before sending us out on a case.

It was simple enough, swab your throat, then your nose, place it in the little tube that Penelope gives you. An hour later, we get the all clear. It was the same routine every time. The first few times, Morgan cracked jokes about your lack of a gag reflex, as you don't tear up from having it hit the back of your throat like everyone else seems to. Aaron looked smug as you gave a clipped reply of "What can I say? I keep my man happy."

Morgan opens his mouth to reply, but no sound comes out as a stunned look passes over his face. While Aaron chuckles, a small grin on his lips, Dave mumbles, "Hotch found the last good one." Emily and JJ shake their heads quietly laughing at Derek. Reid looks outright horrified, as if he's caught his parents out in some lewd sex act. Morgan finally gives a low whistle, "Who knew you were so filthy, dollface?" Aaron slowly raises his hand, his gaze back on the case file in front of him. A sharp elbow to the ribs and he drops it, a smug look pulling at his lips once again.

Today, you all finished your kits and sent Penelope off to the lab and got on with the case debrief. Just because you couldn't fly just yet didn't mean you could slack off. Aaron expected the same attention given to the case as if we were there looking at the crime scenes ourselves.

An hour later, Penelope comes into the room looking slightly tense. Usually, she would announce you could leave and give you all sweet goodbyes. Instead, she pulled a face before presenting you with a second test and a soft, "Sorry." You sigh, repeating the test again as Penelope explains, "They couldn't get a clear reading for some reason? I'm sorry." You smile at her, sticking your swab in the tube as you hand it to her.

"No trouble," you shrug, "better to be safe than sorry I guess." Penelope gives you a thankful look as she dashes back out. You knew it was futile to argue that if Aaron didn't have covid, you most likely wouldn't either, but they needed the proof and the paperwork. You weren't going to upset Penelope by taking it out on her. The team were getting antsy for not having their feet on the ground for this next. No one blamed you, but you felt as if it was something you had done differently that messed with the results.

When Penelope came back in, face flushed, you could've screamed. "Yeah, Pen?" You ask, biting the inside of your cheek. Aaron's hand goes to your wrist, rubbing soft circles. He could hear the tension in your voice and would do anything for it to stop.

"Um..." She started, her voice small and slow, "They found... um..." then it all came out in a rush, as if she was trying to rid the words from the room as soon as they were spoken, "They found a man's dna mixed with your saliva so they need you to rinse your mouth out alot before testing again."

Emily laughs loudly, "You been too busy making out with Hotch that it's messed with the system!" The unit all laugh around you as heat rushes to your cheeks, missing the critical detail.

Reid is the first to catch it, his eyes filling with confusion, "Surely Hotch's results would be off too then? Why would it just be hers?" Before any rumours could go off about you kissing someone else, Penelope shakes her head, looking more and more upset.

"It wasn't a man's saliva. It's... it's sperm." The team inhales a breath. It's quiet for a beat. Tension is high as you stare wide eyed at Aaron.

It's only broken by one sound. Aaron's hearty laugh, his shoulder shaking, his hands running down his face. His laughter seems to echo in the silent room. "It's not funny, Aaron!" You screech at him. He shakes his head in disagreement.

"Did you- not think- that might have- been a- possibility?" He chokes out, throughly amused, still laughing. You flush red but begin to laugh too. Morgan shakes his head and you knew he was building to a smart ass comment.

"Well. Now we know for definite why Dollface hasn't got a gag reflex." He shrugs as Reid looks pained by the entire conversation.

"Really?... like you really swallow?" JJ asks seriously, pulling you to the side.

Emily pulls a face, joining you both, "I could never get over the texture. And that taste? Yuck."

You laugh a little more, blushing as you admit, "Depends on a guys diet. Some taste better when you train them right." You wink at Aaron jokingly as Rossi and Morgan tease him relentlessly. You smile at the girls, "As for texture, try not to think about it?" You burst into laughter at the girls reactions.

Across the room, Dave smirks "Is that why your so obsessed with your health now, Hotch? Not for your marathons but for... other kinds of exercise?"

Aaron shakes his head, choosing not to reply but Morgan is on his case too. "Is this why dollface keeps having bruises on her knees? She mentioned yesterday that she can't wear skirts no more cause her knees bruise too easily." Unfortunately for Aaron his blush only confirms their suspicions. "Oh damn, Hotch. Good for you."

You shake your head, excusing yourself to go wash out your mouth, awarding you a round of geers from the team. As you head to the small kitchen in the breakroom, Aaron follows behind you. He sighs, "I'm sorry. The teasing is gonna be relentless now..."

You wave him off, gargling some water before spitting it into the sink, "Eh. They pretty much had already known what we get up to. Now they just have confirmation." Aaron smiles, he knew you always took things in stride, but he still worries a little that something might be too much for you.

"Thank you for being so incredibly amazing." And for the first time ever, Aaron Hotchner kisses you at work.

[alexanderwales]

Thoughts on Chilli, Northen Caves, and When I Win? Personally they're probably my favorite things on the whole list, but I feel like they never got as big a reception as a bunch of the other stuff. :(

The Northern Caves: I really really loved the first 80% of so of this. I grew up with forums and their particulars, the ways in which you'd come to know the personalities, and how the superfans would get into these long, drawn out debates that were steeped in the prior histories of conversations. There's something really magical about how TNC does this, and the "found media" elements work really well. It reminded me of the better parts of House of Leaves, I guess, and was also just hugely nostalgic (since I was in high school during the Forum Years). The philosophical stuff was also great, and the series they were reading felt rich, and nost is a great writer with wonderful prose. And then I just did not enjoy the ending at all. I think that in spite of that, I recommend it highly, and think it's one of the things on the webfic bingo card that's most worth reading.

Chili and the Chocolate Factory: I adored this one from start to finish, and also Dahl was one of the authors whose works I was steeped in growing up and also at the time it was coming out I was rereading a lot of Dahl's books with my son and also there are a few references to me and my discord server within the work. So I'm biased heavily in favor of this one, but I also also think that it's got this crazy energy to it, an insane density of ideas and weird things, and a wonderful sense of humor. Remy would probably hate to hear me say this, but I think he's one of the best writers I know. It's really really rare for me to read something and have so many individual pieces of it stick with me. I do wish that it were easier to get people on board with, because I have no clue how to pitch it to prospective readers.

When I Win: A few things here: I am just not a Pokemon guy. Red and Blue came out in 1998, when I was 12 years old, and everyone at my school was obsessed with it, and I just did not get into it, and had to suffer through a lot of Pokemon conversations I wasn't interested in. It's like the opposite of FOMO, then you wish that everyone would shut up about this thing you're "missing out" on. So whenever I read Pokemon fic, it's an uphill battle to care about the core thing, and I have enough Pokemon knowledge to get by, but sometimes it'll end up feeling like homework if I have to look up references or jokes or just understand things. Another thing is, I think Bavitz and I have very different tastes in character dialogue. I noticed this with Cockatiel x Chameleon too, and I suspect that when I get around to Bavitz's other stuff I'll see it there too. The differences in speech seem really exaggerated to me, blown out of proportion, idiolects heightened, and I think I've gotten in disagreements with people over whether this is actually true or not, but it's definitely how it feels to me. I found Cely in particular to be fairly grating whenever she spoke. This is a personal preference thing, and I don't know how much it generalizes to other people; I'm not sure that I've seen anyone else mention it, but I also haven't read a bunch of reviews.

So with that said, Bavitz is a skilled author who goes into a story with Something to Say, who milks the premise and theme for what it's worth, and brings a literary sense to his works. The fight scenes are really well done, even for someone like me who is not a Pokemon guy. There's a lot that I found interesting about competition and stagnation, the capture of competitive drive. Bavitz likes to think about the end of history a lot, and it shows here. It's thankfully a concept that I find interesting. I enjoyed the core relationship of Cely and Toril, it's a good, interesting dynamic. Without spoiling it, the ending worked well for me. Well worth reading.

[underacalicosky]

I've been feeling out of sorts the last half year. Too many things going on for me to list, but it boils down to me not having the time to interact here much and to read and write fics. I really wanted to participate in some the fic events this summer... I don't know how that'd happen without time to write, and the disappointment of that and the frustration over not being able to engage more with fandom friends here is really starting to wear on me.

Not sure if doing something small would make me feel better? Ask for random questions to be sent to my inbox? Respond to tag games from months ago? 🤦🏻‍♀️ Share one of my WIPs that might never get finished? Post some of my tumblr drabbles to AO3?

I miss you all ❤️ and hope that your summer is off to a good start ☀️

[voidbeau]

I added colour to this and some more silly art block doodlez.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[radishingaround]

20 Questions with a Fanfic Author

1. How many works on AO3?

4 of 'em!

2. Total AO3 Word Count?

36,618

3. Top 5 Fics by Kudos

Since there's less than 5, my number one is: Missionary, So We Can Keep Arguing. It's the shortest and the horniest, lol.

4. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Spideypool atm, but there's a couple of other fandoms in the drafts.

5. Do you respond to comments?

It's so cool when ppl comment <3 I do respond, but I've never used many socials, so it's sort of a new thing for me.

6. Angstiest Ending?

Feeling Yourself? has a hopeful ending, but things are dicey getting there. The gays don't get a ton of happy endings in mainstream media, so I try to write 'em optimistic.

7. Fic with the Happiest Ending?

Wife Guys is pretty fluffy all around.

8. Do you get hate?

I don't think I'm popular enough to have any dedicated haters. I will say I think the way I write the Avengers is probably not in line with the way most folks on AO3 view them.

9. Do you write smut?

Hell yeah

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not really my thing, but I respect the game.

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Oh man, I would die. That would be such a massive compliment.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic?

The first fic I ever wrote I was cowriting with my partner. It was a rarepair from Gideon the Ninth of Pash and Cam in a college au. He informed me the other day that we got several pages in.

14. All time favorite ship?

The way @punch-love writes Spideypool got me into the fandom!

Outside of Spideypool, the @silentwalrus1 Fullmetal Alchemist series is great.

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Like everyone I've got a stack of those guys. I think I end up discarding two thirds of everything I write, so I'm trying to make my peace with it.

16. Writing strengths?

I've been told I have good style and characters, and I agree.

17. Writing Weaknesses?

Blarg. Plot. It's like I'm figuring this shit out for the first time, every time. I don't know why people do what they do. I don't know why I'm doing half the things I do.

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue?

If you're planning to do a lot of it, hopefully you're multilingual in the languages in question or have listened to a lot of them. Languages are complicated and besides all the formal conventions our personalities, values, and pasts shape the way we use them. So. A lot to mine there but also a lot of homework for most people.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

That Pash/Cam one, but there was also a Daredevil/Punisher fic I worked on for a long time early on. I think that one was mostly stress-writing because a lot of stuff was falling apart in my real life. I've never seen or read any of the cannon for either of those characters, so it's all based on vibes. It's like 17,000 words. I was pretty stressed.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I like all of 'em! Feeling Yourself? did some things my writing usually doesn't, but the posted version was my fourth (?) full re-write of that thing. Maybe when you get that many versions in things start to get weird. Maybe I just need to let my writing be weird.

20 Questions with a Fanfic Author

1. How many works on AO3?

15

2. Total AO3 Word Count?

243,788

3. Top 5 Fics by Kudos

I am not surprised the first three are my most conventionally-standard spideypool porn + my long-fic. I am really delighted though that my most emotionally poignant fic and least conventional spideypool porn are the runner ups!

truth or dare

That Works For Me

love-punch

atlas

just go for it

4. What fandoms do you write for?

I mostly write for Spideypool. I have a few works for Loki. I always talk about branching into other fandoms/have some unfinished WIPs but it hasn't happened yet. I have a bunch of mostly niche heterosexual couples I want to write for which will please no one but myself. (my favorite audience) but again. I don't have huge output, and I don't branch out from my comfortable paths often.

5. Do you respond to comments?

It's probably my favorite part of publishing work outside of like, actually writing. I love engaging with people who enjoy my work and discussing or having conversations about our collective thoughts on it. There is of course a very specific flavor of comments I never respond. I also don't respond to people who read my works in a way that are antithetical to what I wrote. 1) I believe in the readers write to interpret work however they want without backlash from the author 2) It pisses me off.

6. Angstiest Ending?

I think the closest I got to an angsty ending was probably atlas. It's not even a bad ending, it's just heavy because you know that it doesn't actually resolve the misery they're experiencing in the world. Love doesn't fix their problems (mental, or physical) but it does create a safe space where they don't have to be alone in them. It makes me a little sad whenever I read it, at least.

7. Fic with the Happiest Ending?

I think just go for it absolutely has the happiest ending. They fuck inside a club bathroom and then scamper off to their shared door room after drunkingly asking each other to be boyfriends. c'mon.

8. Do you get hate?

I feel like what I get is worse than hate, frankly. That being said the worse I ever got to actual hate was someone was being weird about my choice of making Peter trans in one of my works. They very earnestly asked what the narrative point of making him trans was/they didn't understand after reading the work and it really ticked me off. There isn't a narrative point of being trans! Some people are just trans, jackass.

9. Do you write smut?

Recreationally.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I don't! I think they're kinda cheesy and not my thing. I did have an entire fully fleshed out crackship with a high school friend about Thor/Jason Todd though so take my judgement with a grain of salt lol.

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! Someone uploaded the golden dildo on wattpad and man, was it not well received lmao.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! It's one of my fic author white whale goals. I would be incredibly flattered.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic?

@primewritessmut shared a google doc with me and helped write the ending and several sections to personal space which I think absolutely counts. I also consider ever beta I've worked with a coauthor to my work as they do contribute so much tonally and also sometimes literally to the work.

14. All time favorite ship?

I don't think I have a favorite ship. I more have favorite dynamics that I look for in media and then enjoy because it fulfills that specific itch that I am constantly looking for more replicas of.

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hundreds. Googledocs is like a graveyard for WIPs. There's like, two, at least that I would really like to post someday but like, we'll see.

16. Writing strengths?

I am really good at writing action scenes in a way that translates to me being good at writing porn. I think I'm just good at writing about the intersection of bodies in violent and erotic ways. Also dialogue.

17. Writing Weaknesses?

b-plots! I also prioritize character interaction over plot in general. My betas have all collectively told me that I don't describe the scenery enough and they're right. Though I think I've improved on that since starting to have my work regularly beta'd.

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue?

I feel like I've seen it done SOOO badly that I'm not sure if I've ever seen it done well unless it's a fantasy language. I just think a lot of people really do not understand the flow or linguistics of a language so their representation of it comes across racist at worst or ignorant at best. I speak enough of a couple languages to know when people don't speak the language at all and so it's kind of a universal turn off for me. Unless the writer actually speaks the language. Otherwise, I really think....it's kind of in poor taste? Or if you do it, you should really put some thought and care into how you're having these characters speak and whether you're indulging in racist characterictures or stereotypes about that culture.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior Cats. I had a very popular crack fic that I abandoned at 14 because people were pressuring me for updates and I just couldn't handle it.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

atlas. I just think it's the work I read and think "I'm a good writer. What I have to say is important. I should keep on writing."

tagging: @puzzled-on-main @primewritessmut @radishingaround @farmhandler @waterme-stories @devilbearingtrouble @thistleraven and anyone else who wants to

[ineed-to-sleep]

And what if I said I scrapped like half of this comic, rewrote it and started redrawing it 👉🏻👈🏻 :3

[angelsdean]

don't know how people multi-fandom. dipped my toe into another one and immediately backed out bc everyone there was insufferable.

[dafpork]

the thoughts are returning (making a comic adaptation of the actor au alongside the actual writing)

[buttercupshands]

friend gift acquired

the whole gang is hereeeeeee

[silusvesuius]

this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑

[animalpetcel]

if anything, these EoS warnings should tell me I should invest more in single-pay games then gacha games...but it's been so long since I've been head over heels with a single-pay game's cast

And also I have so many I need to finish that Idk where to start anymore...

[meownotgood]

sometimes you feel like you'll never write again, and then time goes by, the sun is shining and you think you could do anything as long as you put your mind to it....... 💪

[babisawyer]

I'm gonna be honest I think iron flame is cruel and unusual punishment.