#para: Let's kill tonight

[coolemmasulivan2]

No Distractions

Pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Reader

Summary: After a frustrating training session, Pedri lets his emotions get the best of him.

Word count: 2810

¿Pa' qué putas esconderno'? Dejemo' tanto misterio para verno' Yo te gusto, tú me gustas Eso hace rato se sabe Delante de la gente bésame

You and Pedri had been together for a while now, not long enough to be living under the same roof, but long enough that whenever one of you stayed over, it felt like gravity pulled you into each other's orbit. Glued at the hip, as your best friend joked. Inseparable.

You supported him in everything he did, every match, every training session, every high-pressure moment. And he did the same for you, always checking in, always making sure you were happy, even when his own life was spinning at a million miles an hour.

Unlike him, you lived far from the spotlight. You worked at a travel agency, ironically, since you'd barely left Spain your entire life. Your car, a beat-up black Seat Ibiza, spent more time in the garage than on the road, as most of the times you chose public transport.

But none of that ever made you feel small. And Pedri never made you feel like you needed to be more. You’d built something real together, quiet, steady, and strong in all the ways that mattered.

Fer: "Don't forget to bring what I told you to, or my mom will kill me… and you!"

Pedri's brother's text lit up your screen. You smiled, thumbs already tapping.

You: "She loves me. She would never."

Send.

You: "I've got everything already, no need to worry."

Fer: "¡Bien!" (Good!)

He replied quickly. Then, after a moment:

Fer: "Solo para que lo sepas, Pedri no está de muy buen humor" (Just a heads-up, Pedri's not in the best mood.)

Your smile faded as your brow furrowed. He hadn't messaged you all day. Now you knew why.

You: "Voy en camino." (I'm on my way.)

You grabbed your keys, slipped into your car, and started the engine, a quiet knot forming in your chest as you headed toward his house.

Traffic in Barcelona was chaos, and by the time you arrived, you were already fifteen minutes late.

Pedri's mom was opening the door before you even reached it. She wore an apron stained with tomato sauce, and the moment she saw you holding the bag, her face lit up.

"¡Eres un ángel! If it wasn't for you, there'd be no dinner tonight." She said, wrapping you in a warm hug. (You're an angel!)

"Happy to help." You smiled.

"Let me!" She said, taking the bag from your hands as you followed her inside.

Fer and his dad were on the couch watching a TV show. They greeted you with a smile and a wave as you walked in. Pedri, however, was nowhere to be seen.

"¿Dónde está él?" You asked. (Where is he?)

"In his bedroom." His dad answered.

You headed upstairs, pausing just outside his door before giving it a gentle knock and pushing it open.

He was lying on the bed, still in his training kit, his arm draped over his face.

"Hola." You said softly as you stepped inside.

"Hola." He replied, flatly, without moving.

You sat on the edge of the bed, letting your hand drift across his chest in slow, comforting strokes. You felt his muscles relax under your touch, but he still didn’t move.

"¿Estás bien?" You asked. (Are you okay?)

"Sí."

You knew him well enough to know that meant no.

You stayed quiet for a moment, your fingers tracing lazy patterns on his chest. The silence stretched, heavy but familiar. You didn't need to fill it, just being there was usually enough. But tonight felt different.

His jaw clenched beneath the arm still covering his face. You watched the small movements in his body, the way his chest rose just a little faster, the way his foot bounced once, then stilled.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked gently.

He let out a sigh, low and frustrated. "Fue solo una mala sesión." You nodded, letting him take his time. "Couldn't get anything right." He muttered. "Mister was on my case the whole time." (It was just a shit session.)

"Everyone has off days, Pedri."

"Lo sé." Another pause. "But I can't afford them. Not now." (I know.)

You felt the sting behind his words, the weight he put on himself every day. Still, you stayed quiet, until he finally sat up and looked at you for the first time.

"I know." You muttered.

"Maybe you're part of the problem." He said after a minute or two, out of nowhere.

You blinked, unsure you'd heard him right. ""¿Qué?" (What?)

He stood up, rubbing his hands over his face before letting them drop, placing them on his waist.

"No puedo concentrarme. Pienso en ti todo el tiempo. Before training, after training… even during drills, I catch myself wondering what you're doing, if you're okay, if I'm doing enough for us..." He shook his head. "You're a distraction" (I can't focus. I'm thinking about you all the time.)

The words hung in the air, harsh and sudden.

You swallowed, stunned into silence for a second too long. "A distraction." You repeated, your voice barely above a whisper. "That's what I am now?" He looked at you, regret already flickering in his eyes, but he didn't take it back. You stood up, slowly. "I didn't know supporting you meant getting in your way."

"That's not how I meant it--" He said, reaching for you.

You stepped back, just out of reach. Your voice was quiet, but each word cut clean. "Maybe not. But it's how it felt."

His lips parted like he wanted to say more, but nothing came out.

"I'll let your mom know you need a minute."

Then you turned, walking out of the room. Not slamming the door, not storming off. Just leaving. And somehow, that silence hit harder than shouting ever could.

You stayed, not for him, but out of respect of his parents. You sat at the table, smiled when his mom offered you a plate, helped Fer pass the bread. You played the part.

Pedri came down eventually, silent, and sat beside you like he always did. But nothing felt the same. He didn't say a word, and neither did you.

After dinner, you helped them clean everything, but as soon as everything was clean and put away, you said your goodbyes.

"Debería irme a casa." (I should head home.)

Pedri, who had been sitting on the sofa bouncing his knee restlessly, stood up the second you spoke. He followed you silently to the front door, the air between you tense and full of things he couldn’t seem to say.

"I--" He started, but you shook your head gently.

"Estás cansado." You said, not unkindly. "And so am I. Let's just rest tonight. You have a game tomorow." (You're tired.)

You reached for the door handle, already bracing for the cool night air, but before you could step outside, he grabbed your arm gently. You turned and he pulled you toward him, his eyes searching yours.

He leaned in, but you turned your head at the last second. His lips grazed your cheek instead.

You stepped back, your voice soft. "Good night, Pedri."

He wanted to tell you 'I love you', but for some reason he felt like he didn't have the right to do it at the moment, so instead a just whispered: "Bye."

As the game was about to start and the team was waiting in the tunnel, Pedri couldn't help but feel something heavy in his chest. Not because of the game, but because you hadn't been answering his calls or texts since the night before.

He didn't even know why he had called you a distraction. Yes, the session had gone badly and yes, he'd spent the whole day thinking about you. But he thought about you every day, and honestly, the season has been one of his best yet.

He ran his hand through his hair, trying to focus. You were everything to him. But somehow, in the heat of the moment, he made it sound like you were the problem.

"¿Hey, estás bien?" Ferran asked, his voice pulling Pedri from his thoughts. (Hey, you okay?)

Pedri looked at his friend. "Estoy bien." (I'm fine.)

Ferran didn't seem convinced, his eyes narrowing, studying him for a moment before his lips curled into a teasing grin. "So grab his hand!"

Pedri furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "What?"

Ferran motioned toward the kid standing next to him, his hand lifted, eager and expectant. "Grab the kid's hand! The game is starting!"

Pedri blinked, his attention snapped back to the moment. He glanced down and saw the little kid looking up at him, hand raised, his eyes wide with excitement.

"Sorry." Pedri whispered under his breath, realizing how distracted he'd been. He reached down, offering his hand to the kid, whose face instantly lit up with a smile. The joy was infectious, and Pedri couldn't help but grin back.

At home, sitting nervously on the sofa, you watched the game unfold on the screen, but your focus wasn't entirely on the match. Your eyes kept gravitating toward Pedri every time the camera cut to him.

After calling you a distraction, you hadn't had the courage to go to the game. What if they lost and Pedri blamed you? Your insecurities were kicking in, louder now than they had been in a while.

Pedri had been texting and calling you nonstop since the night before, and you hadn't answered. You didn't know how to explain it. You knew he hadn’t meant it, at least not in the way it sounded, but the words still stung, echoing in your mind. You're a distraction.

What if he was right? What if your presence, your love, was one more thing for him to juggle when all he needed was to focus on the game?

You knew you were overthinking. Pedri wasn't like that. He wouldn't blame you, not really. But still, the thought of him looking at you like you were the problem made your stomach twist in knots.

The game eventually ended.

Before celebrating with his team, Pedri made his way toward his parents and brother, who had been watching from the stands. They were always there, supporting him without fail. But as he approached them, a pang of sadness shot through him. He couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness when he noticed you weren’t with them, like you always used to be.

It was the one thing that felt off, and in that moment, the victory didn’t feel as sweet as it should have. He missed you.

"Y/n didn't come with you?" Pedri asked after being congratulated by his family. ("Y/n didn't come with you?)

"No, cariño. She said she couldn't make it," his mother replied, a flicker of sadness crossing her face as she noticed the shift in her son's expression.

"¿No te lo dijo?" His father asked, unaware of the tension between you. (Didn't she tell you?)

Pedri simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak. With fans close by and cameras lingering, he stepped away without another word, walking straight toward the tunnel.

The moment he stepped into the locker room, he grabbed his phone, fingers already moving to text you, only to be stopped by a message from you.

You: Good game. I'm proud of you.

He exhaled deeply, the knot in his chest loosening just a bit as he sank down onto the bench.

"¿Qué te pasa?" Ferran asked, glancing over as he unlaced his boots. "You've been weird all day." (What's going on with you?)

Pedri hesitated. Then, quietly, he admitted, "I messed things up with Y/n. Last night." Ferran paused, giving him a look. Pedri continued. "Yesterday's session was crap. Mister was on my case, and I just… I snapped. I told Y/n she was the problem. That she was a distraction."

Ferran, drinking from his water bottle, nearly choked. "¿Eres idiota?" Pedri rolled his eyes. "No, but like-- really stupid. Why would you say that?" (Are you stupid?)

"I was pissed. And frustrated. And Mister kept talking about focus and I just--ugh. Yeah, I'm an idiot." He slumped back against the locker, lifting his phone. "This message… it's the first I've heard from her since."

"What did she say?"

"Ella dijo que está orgullosa de mí." (She said she's proud of me.)

Ferran raised his eyebrows. "Well, I don't know how or why, but if she's still proud of you after that, you must be doing something right."

You were tired and after the game ended, you hadn't had the energy to do much else. You'd turn off the TV, slipped into your pajamas, and crawled into bed.

Even though your heart still ached from what he'd said the night before, one thing hadn't changed: you were proud of him. You always were. So you picked up your phone and finally texted him. You didn't wait for a reply. You couldn't. Sleep took over your body.

You didn't know how long you'd been sleeping, but something warm stirred you: a familiar scent, the soft rustle of sheets, and then an arm wrapping gently around your waist.

"Pedri?" You mumbled, your voice thick with sleep, eyes barely open.

"It's me." He whispered. "Vuelve a dormir." He pulled you closer, his chest pressed to your back, his hand settling against your stomach. The warmth of him made your eyelids grow heavier. "We'll talk tomorrow." He said, his voice low and tired. "I love you." (Go back to sleep.)

The soft morning light filtered through the curtains. You stirred slowly, blinking against the daylight, the weight of a warm arm still draped over your waist reminding you you weren't alone.

You turned your head slightly and saw Pedri still asleep behind you, his features peaceful, one hand loosely curled near your ribs. He looked younger like that. Like the world hadn't touched him yet.

He must've felt you shift, because a second later, his eyes cracked open.

"Hola!" He murmured, his voice thick and raspy with sleep.

"Hola!" You replied.

There was a pause. Neither of you moved. Then, slowly, he sat up, rubbing a hand down his face.

"I didn't mean what I said." He began, voice low and careful. "I swear, I didn't. You're not a distraction. You're the opposite of that."

You sat up too, pulling the blanket around your lap. "Entonces, ¿por qué lo dijiste?" (Then why did you say it?)

"I was frustrated. Training went bad and I let all of it get to my head. Mister kept going on about focus and the pressure felt like too much, and I--" He looked at you, eyes soft with guilt. "I took it out on you. And that was the dumbest thing I could've done."

You stared at your hands in your lap. "It hurt, Pedri."

"I know." He said quietly. "And I hate that I made you feel that way. I hate that I made you doubt about what we have."

You finally looked up at him, your voice softer now. "I just need to know I'm not the one you blame when things get hard."

"You're not! You're the reason I get through it all." He hesitated for a second, then grabbed your hand. "When I walked over to my family after the game and you weren't there… it felt wrong. I didn't like it. I need you there. I play better when I know you're watching. Even if we've fought, just knowing you're there, it matters to me."

"I don't want us to be something that only works when things are good." You said.

"Tampoco yo." (I don't either.)

His eyes flickied down to your lips and you leaned in. The kiss was soft. Not rushed, not desperate. His hand came up to cup your cheek as your lips moved slowly together.

When you pulled back, your foreheads rested against each other, and you couldn't help the tiny smile that tugged at your lips.

Pedri let out the smallest, relieved exhale and then, without another word, he gently tugged you down with him as he lay back on the bed, bringing the blanket higher over both of you.

"Quedémonos aquí un poco más" He murmured, pulling you into his chest. (Let's stay here a little longer.)

"I have work in a bit."

"Call in sick." He whispered into your hair. "Tell them your boyfriend is needy and full of regrets."

You smiled, eyes fluttering shut. "That's not a real excuse."

"It should be." He said, his arms tightening around you just a little more. "Because I really, really missed you."

A comfortable silence settled between you, his fingers slowly tracing shapes along your back, your cheek pressed against his heartbeat.

Then, softly, he whispered. "Te quiero" (I love you.)

You smiled into his skin, your arms wrapped around him tighter. "Yo también te quiere." (I love you too.)

[mqrrstarr]

FERTILE SOUL

Tony Montana (Scarface) x

F! Reader

when faced with the infamous criminal, his drugged mind takes over and you’re his prey

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, 18+, grammatically incorrect, bad language/profanity, trying to write Tony’s Cuban accent from the film

(Y/F/N = your fathers name)

A/N: hi tumblr!! haven’t posted in a hot second (since December…) but I’m back. Say thank you to Al Pacino for fueling my obsession with him and Scarface the film. It’s also gotten rid of my fanfic authors block. I hope I haven’t gotten rusty <3 also tell me if the color coded dialogue is helpful or cool 😔

Summary: Elvira, Tony’s ex, just ran away from him because she was infertile. The fact that Tony exposed her in public, was vicious enough for her to leave the man alone. His angry desire for a child- an heir, infected his mind. A thought he can’t get rid of. So when you conveniently meet the man after the break up, he’ll show you what it means to be one of his workers.

“That woman.”

Tony huffed under his breath, cocaine still circulating his body as he walked to the car.

His best friend and second in hand, Manny, walked behind him. Anxious to not let his friend down, he broke the silence as he sat down in the front seat.

“Listen Tony, Elvira was nothing but a blonde bitch. I don’t know what you saw in her.”

Tony scoffed, “Bitch. She no want me man, she used me. Did I kill Frank for nothing? Ungrateful whore.”

Manny kept driving, eyes on the road. He sighed quickly before looking at Tony. His eyes were clearly drugged, a sign of his mind being fogged by the drugs.

“Antonio, mira, you have a meeting.”

Manny looked over to Tony.

“It’s with that girl, remember? Y/N.”

Tony looked at Manny with dazed eyes.

“Y/N? Is that… uh… Y/F/N’s kid? Fuck! I forgot I was meeting his daughter. This is so annoying man, Elvira ruined everything.”

Tony put his hands on his face frustrated, trying to sober up before they arrived home.

Manny gave his friend a look of pity.

“Tony, relax. I don’t know much about the girl, but just be yourself. Without the murderous stare. Okay muchacho? Relájate.”

Tony sat and thought about your presence. He’d been fantasizing about you- since the both of you had previously met.

Truth be told, he knew you. You didn’t know him. He’d already met your father to make some deals about the “business”, and he’d kept his eye on your the whole time.

The Babylon’s lights kept you alive and vivid on the dance floor, and poisoned Tony’s mind. That was almost a year ago, and he’d forgotten this ordeal tonight.

He’d finally be face to face with you.

══════════════════════

His car pulled up in the famous driveway, Manny driving as carefully as he could.

Tony sat in a pensive state, preparing himself to meet you.

Manny and Tony got out of the car, red and sparkling in the moonlight.

Elvira’s absence was now a muted pain in Tony’s heart, but the blurry vision and hangover was starting to hit him. He just wanted sex. Someone to relieve him.

Only you stood between a good makeout session and a good business deal. He told himself that.

Tony led Manny into the living space, where he could make out the shape of a woman sitting there.

“Montana?” Y/N scoffed. “You’re finally here.”

He could barely see, but asked Manny for a drink.

“Para ver mejor, coño.” He looked at you.

“Y/N, let’s talk.”

“Of course, Montana. You promised my father that I’d get a job with you. I want it now.”

Manny arrived with a drink and gave it to Tony, then walked away, leaving the two of you alone.

Tony took the drink, and gulped it down so fast, it turned anyone who saw on. Slurping while stray drops of alcohol lingered on his throat.

So did Y/N’s eyes. (ME TOO!!)

The raw desire for children, a trusty heir, with a mother as powerful as their father invaded his mind.

“Fuck me.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. The command, laced with the illusion of a lavish life blinded her as well.

Sex with the Tony Montana? The most powerful criminal in all of Miami?

Who’d be crazy enough to deny an offer like that?

She didn’t care if he proposed or not, she could use the affair as leverage or something. Stress relief was also well enough a reason.

“Fuck you, Tony? Why? Out of all people?”

Y/N played it cool, eager to further interrogate the Cuban man.

“I want!…”

He coughed, alcohol toppling over his cup;

“I want you to be the mother of my children. Someone reliable.”

You remembered a little important detail.

He had a wife.

“What about your wife? Isn’t Elvira enough to pleasure you?”

He scoffed, “That bitch. She ain’t fertile, man. I want kids, goddamn it! The Montana name HAS to live on.”

He pointed his rugged finger at you.

“So fuck me now. I’ll pay you more and give you more than our deal originally promised, okay man?”

Y/N agreed, wondering where the night would go.

“But let’s keep this professional at least,”

You suggested.

He laughed, and it echoed in the room.

“As you people say, uh, fat chance. Whatever I say, goes. Fuck the world, ya know?”

You sat, waiting to see where this would go.

══════════════════════

Tony led you to his lavish room, decorated in red silks and white tiles on the walls.

The place, palace even, seemed far too elegant to be his. It reeked of elegance, royalty even.

But it was.

It was truly Tony’s.

He commanded her to the bed, eager to get it going.

Y/N walked slowly, this time contemplating what she’d done to get here. Born into a legacy she didn’t want, with money she loved.

If she gave Tony a chance, would she willingly be Mrs. Montana?

“Fuck it…” She muttered under her breath.

She laid down on his silky sheets, patiently observing as the man looked upon her with that gaze.

The gaze of greed.

“You’re beautiful, coño. You’re just as beautiful as this city.”

Y/N blushed, but Tony was being honest.

As much as the drugs were controlling his body right now, his mind knew one thing. He’d never lied before.

He leaned over you before kissing the bridge of your nose, then face, and up to your neck.

Y/N made a few quiet noises, but nothing rowdy.

“Shy girl, are ya? I’ll have to make you yell.”

He bit down on her neck, her skin becoming his prey.

Y/N groaned, pleading for more.

“Mhm Tony- ugh… keep doing that- ah!”

He abruptly pulled her shirt off, showcasing her chest. Y/N didn’t want to be the only one in that state, so she sat up discreetly and started to unbutton Tony’s own white collared shirt.

It fell off so smoothly, revealing his slightly athletic build.

He genuinely did not care, and got back to working on pleasuring the woman in front of him.

His hands worked magic, and pulled down the rest of your remaining clothes.

His mouth however, certainly knew their way across your body- even if it was the first time you’d seen each other properly.

His lips took hold of Y/N’s breasts one at a time, a hand always on the other.

“Fuck…” Y/N gasped, the intensity of the moment blurring your vision and words.

“Good girl. So good, so tasty for me.”

He may have honestly just told her to do anything, and she’d let the man do so. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Her perky breasts kept him happy for a while, but she was getting bored. She wanted that Montana cock in her pussy.

His fingers traced the outline of her body, before going over her entrance.

His cock was eager to get it all done, and so he did. A heart to heart wasn’t necessary- just the connection of physical bodies was alright.

She noticed Tony stopped, and was staring right at her clit.

“Fuck me Tony. Put your cock in me, hm? Isn’t that what you want? But come closer.”

You waved your finger, and the man listened surprisingly, and leaned towards Y/N once again.

She grabbed his hair, and he moaned.

“What the- ugh…”

“Listen, you good for nothing scoundrel. You wanted a mother for your children? You got it. Just fill me up already.”

She let go of his head, but it still stung for him.

Surprised and turned on, he replied,

“Yes.”

“Mrs. Montana.”

[witchygagirlwrites]

Until You-Part 3

Connor Rhodes x Reader x Will Halstead/Rhodestead x Reader

After you've made Connor and Will face their feelings for each other you decide to give them a chance as well

So maybe you weren’t quite as confident as you portrayed yourself to be about the detective exam. You were taking it today and you’d woken up an hour before your alarm so you were currently sitting in your kitchen, staring down in your cup of coffee. You weren’t due to work until after the exam.  So far a handful of people had called or texted to wish you luck ranging from Jay and his better halves to a para you knew Spitfire.

You weren’t nervous, no. Your phone chimed again and you glanced down at it to see Will’s name. His text read Sweetheart if Jay can pass it, you can pass it you grinned and texted back Thanks Halstead a few minutes later your phone chimed again, this one was from Connor You got this Angel you felt your face warm and you replied Thanks Rhodes 

You finished your coffee and grabbed your jacket. Only way to do it was to do it, right?

You walked into the twenty first after taking the exam and Trudy cut her eyes up “How are you feeling?” you shrugged “I’ll know in a couple days” she smiled “You’ll do fine sweetie” You loved Trudy, your parents had gotten killed when you were young and she was the responding officer. When you were forced to move in with grandparents she kept a check on you. Over the years she kind of became like an aunt, she was the whole reason you’d gone into the academy to begin with.

“I’m heading up” you told her and she nodded “Have a good day and as soon as I hear anything I’ll let you know” you smiled “Thanks” and headed for the gate. You hoped you passed. God you hoped you passed. 

________________________

The moment you got to the top of the stairs Jay was coming past you and grabbing your arm “Come on, we got a shooting on the south side” you spun on your heel and followed him back down the stairs, managing to keep in step with his long legs as the two of you fell in with the rest of the unit out to the parking lot and your vehicles.

_________________________

You and Jay were tasked with going to med to see about the victim’s condition. You walked in behind him and heard the boy’s mother and felt your heart hit your feet. You looked up to see Fireball comforting the father while Fee comforted the mother. Fireball met your eyes and shook her head. The poor kid never stood a chance, fourteen against an AK-47. 

“Intelligence catch this?” Connor asked and the two of you turned to face him as he walked up to you, blood still on his scrubs. “Yeah” you replied and he shook his head “Wear the thickest plates you can. Please. I really don’t want either of you in front of me like that kid” you nodded “We always do on stuff like this” he nodded slowly “Just, stay safe” you touched his arm “Hey, go take a breath. You did what you could” “Wasn’t enough” he muttered and Jay shook his head “Don’t do that man. I’ve seen my girl do that too much to herself. Don’t” 

Connor nodded “I’ll see you too later” you half smiled “Ok” he cut his eyes at you and gave a tiny smile “I’ll say be careful for Will too” “Well thank you both” you replied then followed Jay over to the family. Like it or not you had to ask if anyone saw anything. 

Mouse was running a trace on the suspect’s phone while Voight waited for a warrant to come down. The rest of you were just waiting to roll out. Your phone chimed and you looked to see that you were now in a group text thread and raised an eyebrow when you clicked on it to see Will and Connor’s names. 

W- so we’ve talked and figured out whatever this is  

You replied And?

C- we admitted to each other that there is something between us but there’s also something between us and you

You shook your head, eyes cutting up towards Jay and Mouse to make sure you didn’t have Jay’s attention I’m waiting on a warrant. Text faster boys

W- Can we take you to dinner and a movie tonight?

C- Both of us? And all 3 of us talk afterwards?   Well it did beat going home to an empty place and you were intrigued by whatever they wanted to say? I’ll let you know when I get off 

W- Be careful Sweetheart

C- Don’t get hurt Angel

You shook your head and texted back Quit sweet talking. I haven’t agreed to anything yet

About that time Voight walked to the door of his office “Warrant came down. Mouse, we got an address?” Mouse nodded and hit a couple keys on his computer “sending it to everyone’s phones” 

You stood and grabbed your jacket before all of you fell in line to head down to roll up so you could gear up and roll out. This case meant thicker plates and heavier guns as well. Your unit was taking no chances on making sure you all walked away from it.

Connor was talking to Fireball when he heard your voice followed by Jay’s. “It’s fine Halstead, for god’s sake!” “Get it looked at then I’ll believe it’s fine” him and her shared a look before they both turned to see you two coming in the doors. Jay was practically dragging you and your arm was bleeding. Connor felt his heart stop for a moment “What happened?”

“She got grazed” Jay explained and Fireball’s eyes widened “A bullet is a bullet for god’s sake!” before looking at him “Take em to exam two, I’ll grab Will and meet you there”

Fireball cut her eyes at Jay then headed in search of Will. Jay passed your arm he’d had a grip on over to Connor who was already looking at your arm “Angel, I told you not to get hurt” you grinned “Maybe I didn’t want to wait until tonight to see you” and he shook his head when Jay barked out a laugh.

He led you and Jay to exam two and you were just stripping your jacket off when Will came in with Fireball in tow. “She said you got shot” Will’s eyes were comically wide, to the point Connor felt a smirk slip onto his face “She’s got a deep gash on her left arm but she’ll live” you cut your eyes up at him then looked at Will “So we’re still on for tonight?” 

Fireball shook her head “Jesus” and walked over to Jay as she opened a suture kit and laid it out for Connor. Jay’s arms slipped around her waist “They aren’t as bad as the three of us” she cut her eyes back at him “You hush and hands off while I’m working” he kissed the bend of her neck then stepped back.

Will cleaned your arm while Connor prepped the suture kit. You watched the two of them while Connor put the stitches in your arm “It's nice seeing you two get along” Will grinned “He’s still an ass” Connor cut his eyes at Will then turned his eyes back to your arm “But he’s admitted he likes my ass and we both like yours” 

You grinned broadly “So where are we eating tonight and what movie are we seeing?” Connor heard a laugh and looked over to see Fireball covering her mouth with her hand. She shrugged “I’m sorry but it’s funny to me” Jay shook his head “If Mouse was here he’d get why she’s laughing. It’s just it’s hard to explain”

Connor cut his eyes at Will who shrugged “There is no explaining those three” Connor shrugged “I was thinking that italian place” and your eyes widened “Connor we are not about to be your sugar babies” and he busted out laughing “Pizza then?” you and Will exchanged a look then nodded “Pizza it is”

“Are we actually going to try this?” you asked quietly, looking up from your pizza to Will and Connor. They shared a look then Will shrugged “It works for Jay, Mouse and Fireball. You said it yourself. Those three work better than some relationships with two people. I like you and I like Connor”

Connor winked at Will then looked at you “And I like Will and you” you grinned “And I like both of you” they nodded and one reached for each of your hands “So, the question is do you want us?”

You rolled your bottom lip between your teeth then nodded slowly “One condition” “What’s that?” Will asked and you grinned “Neither of you freak if I end up in Med unless it’s serious” “What is your definition of serious?” Connor asked and you rolled your eyes “If I walk in, not serious” 

They exchanged a look then nodded “Ok”

____________________

You were walking out of the movie theater when you stopped them both. “Have you two kissed?”  The blush on Will’s face told you all you needed to know. You mock gasped “And I was left out! You never would’ve faced it if it wasn’t for me”

Connor shook his head “Don’t tease him baby. You didn’t see how flustered he got when I kissed him” you laughed and grabbed Will’s hand “How about when I kiss you?” and pulled him down into a kiss. His hands went to your hips as his lips met yours. The kiss was gentle, coaxing like he was trying to make it last. When your hands went up to his neck to pull him closer he deepened the kiss, tongue flicking across your bottom lip for access and when you allowed it he rolled his tongue against yours causing a light gasp to leave you.

You pulled away from him and laughed breathlessly “Ok then. Will Halstead can fucking kiss” Connor’s hands were on your hips “So can I. Ask him” Will gave you a lazy smile “He can” you turned in Connor’s arm to pull him down to you and damn. He was a bit more dominant than Will, one hand coming to cup your jaw and control the kiss from the start. He kissed you like he was trying to make sure you’d keep coming back for more and you were damn sure certain you’d get addicted and fast.

 When you had to pull away from him to get air into your lungs you laughed again “Yeah, we’re definitely doing this with the three of us because damn if you two kiss like this, I can’t wait till things progress” and they shared a grin. 

You walked up the stairs and Voight called your name “Come here Firecracker” you walked into his office “Yes sir” 

He nodded to his desk “You need to give me your badge” “Why?” you asked, eyes wide. He smiled “To accept your detective shield” and held it out to you. “I passed!” “You passed!” you started to hug him but stopped at the last minute and he laughed “Go ahead kid” and you pulled him into a hug.

You slipped your shield onto your belt and he nodded “Looks good. Go let your unit know”  

You walked out of his office and everyone was staring. Al spotted your shield first “We got a new detective in the unit!” he announced and everyone started congratulating you. Jay acted like he was wiping his eyes “They grow up so fast” and Mouse punched his shoulder “Leave her be”

______________________

About an hour later Trudy called you to come downstairs. You walked down the stairs and spotted Connor and Will. “What are you two doing here?” Connor held up a bouquet of roses “Jay might have called Fireball” 

A grin slipped onto your face “So you know I passed?” They nodded so you ran to them both and they wrapped their arms around you. “I’m a detective!” you laughed and Will kissed the top of your head “Told you if Jay could pass you could” Connor pressed a kiss to your cheek “I knew you had it Angel”

When you pulled back they both smiled at you “So I’m taking you both out to that italian place to celebrate no arguments. Our girl made detective” Connor announced. You shook your head and Will laughed “Fine, jackass” Connor grinned “Your love language is like a kid on the playground darlin” then winked at you “I’m so proud of you angel” 

“Thank you Con” you told him and Will smiled “We just wanted to come see you in person. We gotta get back to work” you nodded and pulled him down into a quick kiss then pulled Connor down into a kiss. They both grinned “I’ll see you two tonight?” you asked and they nodded “Yes ma’am” Connor replied before they turned to walk out.

You turned to show Trudy the flowers and she smiled “Those boys better treat you right” you grinned “They’re sweethearts” she nodded “As long as you’ve got that smile I’m good with them” 

@desimarie12 @bonnyclydecat

[mariapaulaaah]

They kept talking until a distant neighing sounded.

Akemi: Did you hear that? Come on, Maxim! Let's go and see!

Maxim: Akemi, for the love of the observer, slow down! Wait a bit!

And just like before, Akemi met an old acquaintance.

Akemi: Hi old friend, I didn't expect to find you here tonight.

Maxim: The wild horse of legends… he really is real.

Akemi: And don't you dare tell anyone about this, Maxim! You know what they do to wild horses!

Maxim: Hey, calm down! I didn't say anything and I won't say anything.

Akemi turned to the steed, scratching its neck so that it would feel safe.

Akemi: Don't worry, Spirit. As far as I'm concerned, you and those you protect will never be arrested. You deserve to be free and not displayed like trophies.

Sad curiosity: In the USA, mustangs (the horse in the movie Spirit) suffer from the undue exploitation of pastures, often ending up being captured and killed. :/

PREVIOUS 《🐎》 NEXT

Translation below (PT-BR)

Eles ficaram conversando até que um relincho distante surgiu.

Akemi: Escutou isso? Vem, Maxim! Vamos lá ver!

Maxim: Akemi, pelo amor da observadora, vai devagar! Me espera um pouco!

E assim como antes, Akemi encontrava um velho conhecido.

Akemi: Oi velho amigo, não esperava te encontrar por aqui esta noite.

Maxim: O cavalo selvagem das lendas… ele é real mesmo.

Akemi: E nem ouse contar isso pra alguém, Maxim! Sabe o que eles fazem com cavalos selvagens!

Maxim: Ei, calma lá! Eu não disse nada e nem vou falar.  

Akemi se virou para o corcel, coçando o pescoço de forma que ele se sentisse seguro.

Akemi: Não se preocupe, Spirit. No que depender de mim, você e aqueles que protege nunca vão ser presos. Merecem ser livres e não exibidos como troféus.

Curiosidade triste: Nos EUA, os mustangues (o cavalo do filme Spirit) sofrem com a exploração indevida dos pastos, muitas vezes acabando capturados e mortos :/

[rocksibblingsau]

Creo que "Let's Kill Tonight" de Panic! at the Disco quedaría muy bien para Branch

A pesar de que la canción tenga una atmósfera oscura, la canción trata sobre la rebelión, destacar y ser extraordinario, y también es un llamado a la acción para romper con las normas y expectativas de la sociedad.

En el primer verso, la letra trata de salir de tu zona de confort, de estar listo para tomar el mando y dejar claro que ya no se quedará atrás.

Y también creo que la parte de "May your feet serve you well and the rest be sent to hell" le quedaría muy bien sobre todo con "The rest"

Translation:

I think "Let's Kill Tonight" by Panic! at the Disco would be great for Branch

Although the song has a dark atmosphere, the song is about rebellion, standing out and being extraordinary, and is also a call to action to break away from society's norms and expectations.

In the first verse, the lyrics are about getting out of your comfort zone, about being ready to take charge and make it clear that you will no longer be left behind.

And I also think that the part of "May your feet serve you well and the rest be sent to hell" would go very well especially with "The rest"

I love that song! It's on my Rock Sibbs playlist already. I think he'd like it a lot!

[iamatomicstarlight]

Måneskin Para Title Ideas

Lately, I've been working on two different directories that aren't yet ready to be viewable, but in the meantime, I'm going to continue to also add to the Thread Title Directory because I'm obsessed with having many options based on my mood. This time, I've gone through Måneskin's album Rush! to find title inspiration. Hope you find these useful for titling your next stuff.

A Deadly Silhouette A Different Timezone A Few Lines That I Have Wrote A Lion Tamer Of Indecent Behavior A Part Of Me That Will Never Be Mine A Place Downtown A Stolen Dress All Is Fair In Love All Those Lives On Your Hands And I Let It Kill Me Another Dimension Blue Jeans And Leather Break Away From The Pack Breaking Free, But I'm Stuck In A Police Car Burn Down Your Throat Can't Deny It Count It Down Create A New World Crying Alone Dance Until I Die Don't Need A Lover, You Need An Animal Don't Tell Your Mother, She Doesn’t Want To Know Don't Think At All, That's The Advice Dream Vacation Dressed Like A Nightmare Drink Away All My Feelings Drink 'Til You Choke Du-Du-Du-Dumb Even God Had His Back Turned Every Night's A Heartbreak Everything's Got A Price Fill Your Drink With Tonic Gin Four, Three, Two, One Fuck What I'm Dreaming Fuck You Again Give Me A Chance And I'll Make You A Lady Gloomy Face Harder Than Ever Before He Says He Loves Me But I Know He's Lying Hidden Among The People Without An Identity Honestly, I Don't Give A Fuck Honey (Are You Coming?) Howling At The Moon I Bet You Are I Can Be Your Toy I Feel The Beat Of The Drums I Hate Your Face I Wander Like I'm Crazy I'll Be The Pill That You Wanna Swallow I'll Make Your Body A Habit I'm Gonna Fly Straight To You I'm No Visionary Just A Taste Just Say The Word Just To Tell You That I'm Losing My Mind Let's Go To My Spot Light It Up And Let Me Lose Your Mind Locked Up In Four Walls Lucy's Diamonds Making Love With Danger Marry Me In The Countryside Maybe The Only Answer Is To Leave Medicate Myself 'Til My Head Is In The Sky Meet Me There, Where It Never Closes Momentary Flavors Music Freaks My Life Sucks And The Blame Is On You My Old Clothes No Dancin' If You Were Gone Not Even All The Gold In The World Own My Mind Paint It Red Playing God With A Heart Of Stone Read Your Diary To Get Inside Of You Reborn From My Ashes Running After You Running Like A Mad Dog Running On A Wire Seven Thousand Miles Shed A Tear She'll Never Love You More Than Money And Cigarettes Silver Spoon In Daddy's Jeans Sip The Gossip Sitting On A Stolen Throne Sky-High Soaking Wet In Your Golden Bed Some Kind Of Magic Somebody To Take You Home Tonight Something Vicious Standing Alone On That Hill Stop Going Where The Wind Blows Superstitious Take Your Pills And Dance All Night Talking To The Wall 'Til He's A Friend Of Mine Tell Me Your Limit And We'll Cross The Line Again The Four Corners Of The City The Gift Of Life The Moon Should Be Jealous The Saddest Part Of Me The Shittiest Party I've Ever Seen The Whole World Is Waiting For You To Go Down There'll Be No Summer They Treated Me Like A Saint, Then Judged Me They'll Never Be Naked This Fame Has No Meaning This Is The American Dream This Love Of Mine Thornes Without Flowers Tonight Is Gonna Be The Loneliest Under The Rug Using Your Fuel To Kill Watch Us Dance Wear It Better Welcome To The City Of Lies We're Gonna Dance On Gasoline When I Close My Eyes, I Get Too Lonely Where It's Never Hopeless You Broke My Heart, So I Crashed Your Car You Might Be The Answer To The Sinner In Me You Play It Smart, But You Look So Dumb You Said Goodbye, So Guess What I've Done You Said You Love Me But It's Just For Fun You Say I'm A Loser 'Cause I Want A Puff Your Ego Is Dangerous Your Favorite Place Your Own Blood Is Losing Trust You're Not Iconic You're Nothing But Gasoline You're Still The Oxygen I Breathe

[bbarican]

february 07, 2024; 10:01 am - sigh

good morning tumblr

my back is still killing me kahit nag pa hilot na ko kahapon; it could only really be either my period or how i sleep and i have no clue how to fix the way i sleep

breakfast today was okay, couldve been better, but i liked what i had, it was just too salty

my snack plate is good though, i have a banana, crackers, homemade caramel sauce, pistachios, and lots of water, plus an experimental coffee that kind of works (kasi i tired mixing the caramel into my coffee pero hindi siya tumamis so dapat ata talaga syrup gamitin ko)

still cant get over the fact na work has been soooo busy already and its just feb and there are days where i feel like nauuna na yung brain ko and hindi makakeep up yung katawan ko but im getting the hang of it

im just also reminding myself to take things slow and to not let my emotions get to me kasi i feel myself sometimes being so moody towards people around me na it could cause misunderstandings (especially with my family)

but yeah, i have a few things to do today but i also want to just relax as much as possible kaya i want to get those tasks out of the way already para nga i can just stay in bed, rest my back and my head and just laugh my eyes out cause of tiktok

also! im so behind na with drag race! i wanna watch tonight lahat ng eps na hindi ko pa napapanuod

happy hump day everybody!

[mythologyfolklore]

Liù'ěr Míhóu joins the jttw gang, or: How to redeem an all-hearing celestial monkey with a superiority complex and a seriously bad attitude

(A/N: TW: mentions of past SA, forced pregnancy, miscarriage and infanticide, mention of dissociation)

Chapter Thirteen: Heart to heart

.

It was night time.

Wùkōng was on watch duty, overlooking the clearing, where they were staying for this night.

The others were sleeping, except for one.

Liù'ěr Míhóu was settled atop the head of Bái Lóng Mă (who for some reason had curled around the group in his dragon form, like the world's most protective serpent), watching Wùkōng with guarded curiosity and swaying his head from side to side (Wùkōng hated, when the other monkey did that!).

“Whatcha want?”, Wùkōng grumbled.

The Six-Eared Macaque just gave him an unimpressed look. “You've been staring into the air the whole time. Are you actually paying attention to your surroundings?”

“Of course I-!” He stopped himself and lowered his voice. “Of course I am! Don't you know I can keep watch and contemplate stuff at the same time?”

“Riiiight. So you haven't been wondering, why I didn't tell any of you anything about myself for almost two months? Come on, I can't hear what you're thinking, but I can tell you're wrecking your head. Are you trying to find an explanation for why I never told you the reason why I'm so deranged?”

Wùkōng tried to dodge: “Eh, I think 'deranged' is in the eye of the beholder …”

“Sūn Wùkōng, if you want to ask me something, get it over with now, or let me try to actually get some sleep tonight.”

Welp. Dodge failed. Apparently the “comprehension of all things” part of Buddha's explanation about Liù'ěr Míhóu hadn't been exaggerated.

Wùkōng sighed and landed beside the other, taking great care not to disturb Bái Lóng Mă.

“I'm having a bit of a hard time digesting it”, he admitted. “What we've learned about you today, I mean. Not the part about your temperament, that was no problem.”

Liù'ěr Míhóu smiled tiredly. “Well, I'm having a hard time letting it sink in, that … that none of you ridiculed me. That you all accepted me and didn't blame me. Thank you for that.”

Absentmindedly, he scratched Bái Lóng Mă behind the ears. The sleeping dragon responded with a deep rumble, that almost sounded like a purr.

Well, if that's not some cute shit right there- no! Focus!

As casually as he could, Wùkōng replied: “Eh, it's nothi-”

“Don't you dare say it's nothing!”, snarled Liù'ěr Míhóu. “It's everything to me.”

The Monkey King coughed awkwardly.

“Uh … right. Damn, I'm not good at this. Anyway, your behaviour and attitude makes a lot more sense now. There's just one more thing I gotta know.”

“Make it short.”

“What happened to the children?”

Wùkōng regretted the question instantly, as the Macaque glowered at him, clearly upset by the question.

But instead of lashing out, Liù'ěr Míhóu whispered: “Dead.”

Oh.

“Did you kill them?”

“…”

“I'm not judging you, I just want to know-”

“Yes.”

That answer wasn't as disturbing as it probably should have been.

The Six-Eared Macaque went on: “Some were miscarriages, some I aborted. But once my mind was in an especially dark place and I killed the paras- the newborn baby. And ate the dead thing. The scariest part is, I didn't even realise what I had done, until weeks later. I was in this weird state, where everything my senses perceived didn't reach my brain and everything was blurred and muffled. Like I was in some weird, distant dream zone and whatever was going on in reality didn't reach me. I was … empty. Just … not me.”

“Dissociation.”

“Pardon?”

“It's called dissociation”, Wùkōng explained. “Guān Yīn told me about that, when I was with her. Sometimes a situation is so fucked, that your mind can't take it any more and shuts down as a self-defence mechanism. It's like fainting, only mental. She explained it all to me, when I told her that I go into that state sometimes.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I was cooked alive in Laozi's furnace for forty-nine years, imprisoned under a mountain and fed molten copper and iron pellets for another five-hundred years and for the last eight years I had to put up with my master mistreating and hurting me. He frowns, I expect imminent pain. After all that shit, I'm fucked up too. So … I understand how you feel. At least a bit.”

Liù'ěr Míhóu offered him a smile.

Now that shocked Wùkōng; the other Spiritual Monkey had never smiled at him before.

They fell into surprisingly comfortable silence for a while.

Eventually, the Six-Eared Macaque said something even more surprising.

“There is one child, that I kept”, he confided in the Monkey King. “As in, I birthed it and let it live. After it had been … forced on me, I was found by the crow demon I told you about. She nursed me back to health. Was there for me the whole time. And she didn't ask for anything in return. No one had ever done that for me before, so at first I was convinced she had some weird ulterior motives.” He chuckled. “When I confronted her, she bonked me on the head and called me a dumbass.”

Wùkōng grinned: “That does sound like a demon after my heart. And she helped you with the infant?”

“Yeah. But I still couldn't stand being around it. Luckily, Tiě Yū had raised chicks before, so she agreed to take the boy. Once I had weaned him, that is.”

Yep. Definitely sounded like a cool lady.

“Good to know she supported you.”

“Yeah. Listen, uhm, can you not tell all that to the others? I'm not ready for …”

Wùkōng smiled. “Sure. I mean, they wouldn't have room to talk, but I can see the problem.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Hey, do you wanna hear about the story, where Master and Zhū Bājiè got pregnant?”

The Macaque stared at him. “No way!”

“Yes way!”

“Well, spill the tea! Give me all the juicy details!”

“Okay, so we were travelling through the Kingdom of Women, when Master decided that drinking water from a random river would be a good idea …”

.

---

.

Little do the two monkeys know, Bai Long Ma has been awake the entire time.

[adeehayag]

too far / a self para (pt. 3)

triggers: murder, death

July 22, 2023 (almost midnight)

Why is it that when Maya died -- I'm really not sorry about it -- but it was my birthday the next day and I went to Medusa to celebrate that, I had people look at me strangely for doing that, but bodies have been dropping left and right recently, and if you're not in a celebratory mood tonight at this engagement party, you're in the wrong?

People suck, I thought, as I made my way to the open bar. And everyone here will pay.

My brain grew tired of planning after Toby, and I figured it just wasn't for me. That was more Jake's area of expertise anyway and besides, it's so much more fun to just wing it because not only will the future dead person be surprised, so will I! A fun, little surprise for me, like a treat.

I want to have a lot of treats tonight, I thought as I took a sip from my drink. The only plan I have for tonight that's set in stone is that I'll convince people I'm well on the way to being drunk as the night goes on, when I'll be anything but, to make people think that I could never be responsible for any of the murders that will be happening tonight.

I had a list of people I want to kill: Jieun and her friends but Jieun specifically for being a fake bitch, Lucia for grieving like she was Dante's girlfriend when, news flash, she wasn't and never will be, that overdramatic, overtalkative bitch, Dominic for making fun of me because I couldn't drive like he's sooooooo special for not making use of public transportation, Analu for breaking up with me all those years ago and still, to this day, never really giving me a reason why, Greyson for not choosing me, Kat solely because it's something I've been dreaming of for a long time now and of course, Sarah and Charlotte, solely for being Jake's sisters.

I didn't need a reason, but I still got them. I'll be sure to let them know why I wanted them dead before I slit their throat.

Everyone's soooooooo cute for thinking I'll stay the sniveling, crying, weak person I used to be that let Kat slap me without fighting back. They'll never expect that that person is dead, buried alongside the rest of the people I stabbed.

The person I am now is just one of the many things I'm so thankful to Jake for.

However, as excited as the thought of having multiple treats tonight made me, I still had to keep up the pretense that I was the woman who had lost everything. In a sense, that was still true. But why dwell on the thoughts of the people who are already dead when I could just think about the people I could still kill?

I wasn't in a celebratory mood, that's for sure. I love love, always have, and I always want to celebrate it, but isn't it clear to everybody that Mei doesn't actually love Levi? It's actually kind of funny to see everyone put on a smile and pretend to be happy, because I'd been doing the same thing for a long time. A long, long time now, it seems.

It also didn't really sit right with me that Mei doesn't seem to be as happy as she could be, when she was getting exactly what I used to wish on every star and every 11:11 for -- a rich, devoted husband, though I could do without the whole religion talk, and a child. A family. A future that's set and stable and secured. She'd never want for anything and she doesn't even seem all that grateful for it.

Maybe I could still have all of that with Jake once Kat's out of the picture.

I kept ordering drinks, kept pretending to drink them, kept walking around pretending to be drunk and that I needed to go to the bathroom or outside to get some fresh air, but I was mostly looking for any opportunity to get people on their own.

Maybe I should have come here with a better plan, I started to think because it seemed like I wouldn't be able to do as much killing as I wanted to, just as the red and blue lights filtered in through the windows. I didn't have to fake my confusion as I wondered what was going on, and the shock evident on my face was genuine when the Chief of Police told the entire ballroom of Lucia's death.

Damn it, Jake. She should have been mine, I couldn't help thinking, though I had to stamp down my laughter as I listened to the murmurs around me. Bye, bitch. Down in the dirt you go, where you belong.

Other than the initial shock and glee that she was dead, though, I found that there was also disappointment. I talked a big game about killing people tonight and I actually hadn't done anything yet. I didn't know Jake was going to kill tonight, and if he could do it even with all these people around, even with a date, even with his siblings at this party, then I most definitely can too. I just need to figure out how to actually do it, and the fact that everyone's now locked inside the hotel room just made everything so much harder.

People wouldn't dare pass up the opportunity to think of me as a weak person, I had come to realize. It's easier for them to think of me as that and I know now that I could use that to my advantage. That, and the fact that everyone thought I was drunk tonight meant that they wouldn't really think twice about me running to the bathroom, especially when I say I'm about to throw up.

I took a special interest when I saw that Levi was going upstairs to his room, instead of going back to the ballroom where Mei was, and my curiosity got the better of me as I followed him up to his room. Just like Toby, I wondered if he was really as nice as he seemed. He was selfish, that was for sure. He wanted to celebrate while people were dying around him.

Maybe the world would be a better place without him too. He hadn't been on my list but I can add him onto it right now, I thought as I checked to see the knife in my purse, the same one I used on Rhys all those months ago. Usually, selfish people were at least smart people, but Levi didn't seem to be one of them, because he didn't even consider having security at this event. An event with his pregnant fiancée, mind you.

I just waltzed in here, in my sparkly dress, a knife that could definitely implicate me for Rhys' murder, hidden in my equally sparkly purse, and nobody knew about it. Sure, I could always say that I have it to defend myself in case a situation arises, but I also didn't want to be labeled a suspect, like Toby had been. All because of a video that didn't even make that much sense to me.

I could turn on the waterworks, though, and I know people would stop thinking that I'd have anything to do with these murders. People never want to see a woman cry, especially one who looked like me and who had publicly lost so much. They'll never believe it.

Suckers.

I laughed as Levi asked me what I was doing, before I took out the knife. What did he think I was doing? Just taking a casual stroll into his hotel room with a knife out for what? A conversation? Wow, he really was stupid.

And then he had the audacity to ask me if I had been the one to hurt Lucia, and I rolled my eyes as I kicked the door closed behind me so that it was just him and me in this room. I deserve a little privacy with the man of the evening, do I not?

No. That wasn't me. I wish it had been me, though. I would have loved to see her die, I told him with a smile. Don't worry, I said, opting for a soothing tone. It's my turn now.

There it is. There's the wonderful panic in their eyes, and it made me grin wider as I looked up at him, the anticipation on my end and the fear and tension on his end palpable before I dropped my smile and lunged forward, only smiling again once I felt the sweet feeling of blood on my hands.

This is what I should have been doing the whole night, I thought as I looked into the eyes of the man who would not stop talking about his beautiful wife to be, about what a blessing a child is, about how blessed he was. What a load of fucking bullshit, I thought as I let out a laugh when I took the knife out. I want to see every emotion on his face, I want to see the moment when he realizes there's absolutely nothing he can do. That he's at the mercy of someone who's friends with his future wife, who even slept at Mei's apartment for a couple of nights.

Mei deserves this, I thought as I stabbed Levi in the chest, a cackle escaping past my lips. An ungrateful woman and a selfish man. Wow, maybe they really are meant to be together.

Too bad he's going to die. No prayer to his god could save him now.

Where's your God now? I asked him before I started laughing and laughing, overcome with the glee that came from the look on his face. I was still careful, though. Even though I pushed him on the bed to make stabbing him easier and escape harder, I was making sure none of his God-loving blood would end up on my pretty cute dress. I could still use this dress in the future, but some of his blood splattered on my purse.

Letting out a loud groan, I continued stabbing him until I was satisfied, sighing with relief once I let the blood drip down to the floor from my knife.

Now that I started, I wasn't going to stop any time soon. I wanted more of this feeling. I wanted to kill. I wanted people to suffer.

I made sure everything was in their rightful place when I got out of the room, making sure it was locked behind me, but my eyes widened when I realized I wasn't alone in the hallway, and I quickly turned around

A part of me wondered if I could get away with it somehow, just keep walking away from this person I met at Medusa since I had my back to her anyway, but then Iris started talking. Hey skank, you obviously know he’s engaged, do better.

And just like that, the smile was back on my face, and the knife was back in my hand.

This bitch.

What the fuck did you just call me? Huh? I asked, eyes glinting with a mixture of fury and glee. I thought I was satisfied with killing Levi, but I wasn't. Not even remotely close to being satisfied because I was already ready to kill again, and I was also so happy with how quickly the next person I'm going to kill was presented to me.

Maybe Levi was onto something with believing in God or whoever, because I wished for more death, and it immediately came to me, wrapped up in the form of a bitch in a tacky dress. A whole coward too, I thought, letting out a laugh as I watched her try to run down the stairs.

I love it when they run. It makes it so much more satisfying when they realize they have absolutely nowhere else to go.

You're going to look so pretty when you bleed out, I said when I caught up to her, just in time to sink my knife into her stomach. That was for calling me a skank. This one is just for fun, I said before I stabbed her again. The anger caused by her words made me to stab her over and over again, after I took my time going down the stairs she had just fallen from. She was unconscious, probably from hitting her head, but I didn't really care. It didn't stop me from stabbing her still.

Serves you right, you fucking bitch. You deserve this, I said, always hating it when people tried to paint liking sex as a bad thing. Calling women skanks was bad enough but it was a million times worse when it came from a fellow woman, especially someone who doesn't even belong here in town. Wasn't she new? What right does she have to comment on things that don't even concern her?

You're fucking nobody and you'll die a fucking nobody, I spat out, about to stab her in the chest when I heard footsteps, causing me to narrow my eyes. I'll come back for her as soon as the coast is clear.

She's not going anywhere.

July 22, 2023 (a few minutes after midnight)

I messed up. I messed up. I messed up.

Iris had survived, according to the police officer, and she knew who I was. I couldn't even get to her now that she was on the way to the hospital.

Fucking Mei. Ruining my plans with that 911 call, causing the hallway and the stairs to be overrun with cops and medics.

I had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. This was it. This was the end of the line for me.

Good.

The one word that snuck into my thoughts was jarring, shocking even me, but I think a part of me was relieved. I already knew I wasn't the same and I'd never go back to the person I used to be, and I had already thought of myself as someone with absolutely nothing and no one to lose, but this truly cemented it.

One way or another, I was going to leave this place either dead or found out. I preferred the former.

I'm going to have my fun first, though.

It was getting harder and harder to pretend to be drunk, but with the news of Levi's death and two additional injuries, nobody really paid me much attention as I tried looking for Kat.

I will not die or be arrested tonight without killing her first. After everything she put me through, she deserves to die. I'll deal with everyone else on my list later.

I lied through my teeth and said that I had a room somewhere so that I could get out of that stuffy ballroom, I ended up roaming around the halls, searching for Kat. What I found was Vera, though.

Eh, close enough.

Vera didn't like me solely because of Kat and for someone who consistently screamed that she was a strong, independent woman, she really needed to start thinking for herself.

Oh, you bitch, I thought when she bumped her shoulder against mine. I would have probably minded my business and passed up on her on my search for Kat, but just this one, small act of unnecessary aggression changed things.

No, actually, that's a lie. I've been itching to kill Vera too.

The only sound between them was when her keycard unlocked the door and the breathy laugh I let out as I wrapped the strap of her purse around her neck and pulled.

Bet you wish you didn't bump into me now, huh? I asked, deranged yet hushed laughter filling the air as I tightened the strap around her neck, wanting her to pass out.

I'm smart enough to know I wouldn't win in a fight against Vera, and who's going to stop me from making sure this fight wasn't fair?

The police? Please, I thought before letting out a yelp when Vera threw her body against mine, causing me to loosen my grip around the strap, but it didn't take too long before I had her pinned down, stabbing her in the shoulder, in the arm.

It's not enough. She deserves so much more.

I watched with glee as she started crawling away from me, and I took my time, knowing she didn't really have anywhere else to go. Another string of laughter could be heard as I realized where she was trying to go.

The balcony? Please, what was she going to do? Jump off it? Bleed to death in the bushes below?

You know, for some reason, I always thought you were smarter than this, but maybe that's just because you're best friends with two of the dumbest people I know, I said, right as I stabbed her in the back, the image of Vera's best friends, Kat and the other being Dante's baby mama, causing rage to run through me, making me pull on her hair to pin her down again before she could reach the balcony and ruin the fun I was having.

Stay down, you fucking bitch, I muttered as I stabbed her over and over and over again, laughing as I saw the tears in her eyes. Aww, are you going to cry, Vera? You're going to cry? I taunted her, the power of being the person responsible for this coursing through me and making me laugh again, before I heard footsteps. Again.

What the hell is up with people just roaming around these hallways? Didn't they know I have people to kill tonight?

Vera was already passed out, and the blood was already on my dress, so I decided to try and drag her to the opened hotel room, but the footsteps were getting closer and closer and I couldn't tell if it was just one person or two or three. I could handle killing one witness but three? Even I knew I couldn't handle that, and the realization caused me to drop Vera's body unceremoniously back on the floor, deciding to just wait out whoever this was before I go and make sure I killed Vera for good.

THE END

Levi really was onto something believing in a God because this felt like a blessing. The footsteps I heard belonged to none other than Kat, the one person I had been looking for in the first place.

Vera and Kat. Dead. Because of me.

Ooooooooh, this is perfect. This is exactly what I wanted.

I was still hiding out in Vera's room, but as soon as I saw Kat enter the room, I let out a cackle as I closed the door behind her, eyes boring into hers as I watched her back up to the wall.

You're not sorry, I spat out, disgust on my face before I tackled her down on the bed, the adrenaline and rage causing me to be a lot faster and stronger than ever. My hands wrapped themselves around Kat's throat, and I couldn't stop smiling. I wanted to draw this out. I wanted her to be in pain for as long as possible. I wanted her to look me in the eyes and know that she'll be dead because of me. That I did this to her.

I win, bitch, I thought as I grunted, tightening my hold around her neck, trying to flick her hands away from my face. I waited until Kat's hands were no longer clawing at her face, until I could see that she was turning blue before I sunk that knife deep in her stomach, exhaling deeply as euphoria coursed through me.

The sweet taste of revenge. The blood. The look in her eyes.

This is all I care about.

Save your fucking apologies, bitch. I don't want them, I said before I stabbed her again, and again, and again.

And again, and again, and again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

I didn't want to stop, the glee in being coated in her blood causing me to not even think about anything else. I didn't care about Vera outside this door, and the fact that people might have seen her at this point. I didn't care if people might hear the laughter from this room and walk in.

I didn't care.

I WIN.

Peals of laughter filled the air as I had the most fun I had tonight, just stabbing Kat everywhere I could, stabbing her more times than I stabbed Sawyer and Toby combined.

I'm not done. I'm never going to be done. I can do this for the rest of my life.

Why had I waited so long to do this? This was so, so, so fun. Hurting Kat was so fun. Killing Kat was so fun. Seeing her blood soak into the white hotel comforter and turning it red was so, so, so fun.

It took her a while to realize she wasn't alone in the room anymore, and the smile only widened when she saw who it was.

My Jakey, I thought, standing beside the bed as I watched him look at his girlfriend. His dead girlfriend.

Now it could be him and me. Together forever. Our happy ever after.

I still had to deal with his sisters, but this was really, really good progress. Kat was no longer in the picture and the proud smile was still on my lips, even as I dropped the knife on the floor.

My work tonight is done, I think.

My head tilted to the side as I watched Jake pick up the knife and stepped closer towards me, backing me up until I was against the wall. What--, I started to ask before I felt his hands wrapping themselves around my neck, cutting off my air.

Kinky.

Oh, I actually kind of like this.

It's only when he kept talking that I realized this wasn't going to be like what they did after Theo and Bianca. I don't understand.

Didn't he love me? Didn't he say it was always going to be us in the end? Wasn't he happy I did what I had to do so we could be happy together?

I couldn't even gasp as I felt the sharp knife -- my knife -- plunge into my chest. Jake pulled me by my hair and threw me on the ground, and I felt woozy from the lack of air. I could feel blood dripping from my chest, but none of it hurt as much as my heart was.

The same heart that yearned for Jake since we were younger. The same heart that wholeheartedly believed we were in this together?

I wanted to say no, I wanted to beg him to stop, but he stabbed me again, and again, and again.

And again, and again, and again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

I don't understand.

I was his, and he was hurting me. He wanted to kill me. As I felt every stab, all I wanted to do was sob and tell him he was the one who made me into this. I thought this was what he wanted. I thought he loved me.

Because I loved him. I still did.

Even as he towered over me and hurt me and betrayed me, I loved him.

I love Jake. I always will.

I could feel myself drifting away now, as I thought about everything in my life that had brought me to this one moment. Maybe this was how it was always meant to be. I'll always be the girl who loves a little too much, gives too much of herself away, to get absolutely nothing good back.

There's nothing left for me to give now, I thought as I looked into the eyes of the man I had sacrificed everything for.

All I ever wanted was to be loved. Didn't I deserve that?

Didn't Jake owe me that? Since my love for him had been the reason for everything I did? Since he's still someone I'd do anything for?

Too much. It's all too much. It hurts too much.

It's almost ironic, how being stabbed in the chest hurt a lot less than a consistently broken heart.

[mrofontaine]

SELF PARA. WHEN: 25th of August, 2024. WHERE: Basement of The Smoke and Mirrors.

This place seemed to swallow light, sound.

French-owned, a swanky joint that had seen Olivier in his heyday every single fucking night. Whether that be with Théo, Laurent or Étienné. Below, however, in a damp, low-ceilinged underbelly, the sinister reality was very much alive.

Especially tonight.

Olivier had spent the last twenty minutes pacing. The sound of blood hitting the metal grate had become the symphony of his night. The muffled moans of the oversized fan cast shadows over the Russian's face. Now, he was standing in the centre of the room, his black T-shirt disappearing against bare concrete walls.

Sweat, and fear—a scent that should've interested a man who'd only be violent to protect those he loved. Now, his free reign, the need to serve those that'd been hurt because of the filthy fuckers. This wasn’t his usual gig. Yves needed to be impressed, and Russians needed to be eradicated. This was real.

“Please... please, let me go. I have a family… children."

"So does Lisette, so does Sofie, so does Kathleen, so did Aurélie..." The last name was a bite, through bared teeth. Their boss had been different, had been more than any of these organizations together deserved and she was gone. Because of them. Because they had no care for life. "I bet when they begged, you fuckers mocked and tortured and caused more pain than imaginable."

A soundless laugh left Olivier's lips, as he took a step forward. The man was hardly human, bloody and broken. A shell of what he'd been only some three hours ago.

"That wasn't me, I'm a nobody."

Olivier knew that wasn't true.

"You're somebody, and each time we kill one of you cunts, it's one less that we have to deal with later."

"Just let me go. I’ll disappear. You’ll never see me again.” the fully grown man sobbed, his pants wetting as he watched the next movement.

A pause, as he pulled out a gun. "Now you know how it feels."

Olivier didn't wait, lining the gun with his skull, and pulled the trigger.

He remained silent, watching the man with a cold detachment. He wasn’t new to violence—God knows he’d seen his share. He hadn't got to extract the information they needed, but as he turned, the second person tied to the chair just stared with such a fierce intensive look, Olivier knew he'd have to be sent back. As a fucking message. An eye for an eye. And Olivier knew that meant more than just a few bruises or some broken bones.

"Now you, starting talkin', or you'll end up like your friend."

[luna-crow]

Royal Pains: Pt 1 | Event Self Para

Neve had had many a nightmare that began with the Unseelie knights pounding on her door.

The sun had not yet fully risen in the sky, only the very beginnings of birdsong hinting at the approach of dawn when she was jolted awake by the sound of a fist pounding against the aging wood of her chamber door. It was the dark that frightened her first —the immediate realization that something was terribly wrong. After the particularly boisterous party King Oberon had thrown last night that had spilled into the early morning, the majority of the nobility had stumbled to their chambers two hours ago.

Whomever stood beyond her chamber door hesitated for a moment, allowing Neve to believe perhaps she had dreamt the whole thing before the second knock sounded. A terror gripped her unlike anything she had experienced in the year she had spent as Luna Crow, the adrenaline coursing through her body making it feel as though she were already wide awake. Was this it? Had her time finally come? And in Roheim of all places? It would be her luck to finally be caught in the very place that housed the most notorious dungeons in Midsummer.

"Lady Luna?" The voice that came from behind the door was gruff, but not necessarily unkind. But, Neve knew better than to let her guard down. She blinked away a tear that threatened to spill down her cheek, trying to think over the deafening pounding in her ears. She allowed herself a few calming breaths before squaring her shoulders and tipping her chin upward. The timid, terrified girl fell away to reveal someone haughty and proud -- annoyed even. Neve slid her feet into a pair of green slippers, checked her glamour and signature scowl in the mirror and threw a teal jacquard dressing gown over her chemise before bringing a trembling hand to the doorknob.

"Do you know what time it is?!" Luna's haughty voice came from Neve's mouth with a practiced ease as she flung open her door. She aimed a look of disgust at the uncomfortable looking group of five knights gathered outside her door. “I shouldn’t have to tell you that this is highly improper." Neve was pleased to some of the guards flinch at her tone, and could not help but wonder what they had endured at the hands of the real Luna to appear so unsettled by a woman half their size. The guard in front, a freckled faerie with hair the color and fineness of goose down, handed her a rolled scroll tied with a bottle green ribbon and a few mumbled apologies. Neve snatched it from his grasp and unfurled it with an irritated flourish. She read it silently, feeling self conscious of how long it took her to sound out each word. But, when she finally understood, her eyebrows shot upward.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

It seemed she would not die tonight, nor be dragged down to the dungeons. But, something nearly as terrifying lay ahead. King Oberon had commanded his most skilled spellcasters to The Wildlands, including the cousin he knew so well to be one of the magically gifted. But, Neve had not been able to do much magic past her glamoured face in months. She was eroding underneath this mask. Beneath the layer of magic her face was growing gaunt and angular, with dark circles settled under her eyes. Her figure, no matter how much rich food she devoured, was becoming bird-like and full of new angles in a way even her times of genuine starvation had not brought on. She was even beginning to move with a new stiffness. Despite how she tried to push the knowledge to the back of her mind, deep down she knew this magic was killing her. And she knew it wouldn't take long for others at this mysterous camp to notice something wrong when the famed Luna Crow could barely levitate a feather.

Neve accessed the space around her as though some exit would miraculously appear or a someone would come to ferry her away. But, when no miracle appeared. She, merely nodded and held up a single finger instructing the men to wait, before closing the door and beginning to access what she needed for the journey. When all her necessities had been thrown into her rucksack she hesitated, a single hand hovering over the drawer of her vanity. Neve stood in a moral quandary for a few seconds before opening the drawer and hastily tucking a small jeweled ring within the pocket of her traveling cloak. She could feel the dark magic of the ring the minute it touched her fingers, just as she had the night she had so desperately acquired it at the Night Market months before. She took one last look around her, wondering she would ever see Luna’s Roheim chambers again, before allowing the guards to escort her through the halls of the waking castle.

[biceps--to-spare]

Kill the Beast # [Self para]

In which Gaston attempts to subdue the creature rampaging the lantern festival...[takes place: July 22, 2023]

featuring: @mamabear-elinor, @vixey-chakraborty, @prince--thomas, @moon-yeongjun

[cw -- guns, violence, gore, shooting an animal, shooting a person(?)]

companion to: Of Monsters and Hauntings

### ### ###

Gaston heard the shouting from the lake.

The Deer was near enough to the water. During the summers, he usually kept the front door open, especially in the evenings. To invite people, hungry after a long day of swimming, to come on in. He also let people use the bathroom for free, because they were much more likely to drop in and buy something if that was the case. The same sort of thing applied to the Lantern Festival. Gaston usually didn’t participate in creating his own, but once it was dark enough and they called for the lanterns to be lit, he’d go and stand on the porch, watching them float off. Knowing that afterwards, he would get an influx of customers looking for a late dinner or a drink after the festival was over. 

The festival didn’t get that far tonight. 

### ### ###

[link here]

[lovetique]

"no-" elena stammered, eyes were looking anywhere but at him, "that was something else." she quietly claimed, dark brows pulling into a pained crease without realizing it when thinking about that something else. flashing back to how her dress was ripped, the sound of it. her body being jerked around like it had at the grasp of a monster and thought she wasn't going to make it out of there alive. she wasn't going to play hiding games with him tonight, though. she was here to do the opposite for once. the truth and her feelings, were all on the brink of spilling over. another ding and her fingers went up to grasp her hair, about to lose it at that sound. additionally losing her mind deciphering if it's right, would she be doing more bad than good telling him now? and what about his girlfriend or whatever she is to him? "first," the word became stuck, lodged in her throat, about to betray the entire idea of letting it all come undone now that girl was yet another obstacle in her way. she was fooling herself. it was too powerful swelling there in her chest and losing her breath just thinking of what she's about to say, despite the guilt washing over her visage thinking about being selfish and causing another person to get hurt. but he has to know. she can't go through life any longer without him understanding this isn't a tale of unrequited love. his hand dropped from her shoulder and even in the midst of feeling like she was going to throw up again, like the last time she saw him and almost let the words slipped then, she noticed it and grabbed for it because she needs that hand as something to anchor herself to. trembling fingers gently curl around his bigger hand and another pause before she continues,

"first... i'm so sorry for causing you so much headache and pain for however long it's been marcus. i've felt horrific– despicable for it, i can't stand remembering the hurt on your face any longer. i'm just a mess up. and you're you, you're so smart, you're so much more put together than me, you have a real job, you know how to be open, you probably wouldn't get yourself stuck in these situations you can't crawl out of to begin with because of how smart you are." meaning, he wouldn't get trapped with these terrible people because he just seems to be smart enough to know when to leave these people. "and i'm just me, so stupid and a mess up. i feel so stupid and so dirty," voice quivering as she felt the weight of her words breaking her and causing her eyes to water. forcing herself to be with someone like rory, hurting marcus, there was a lot of things horrible ugly tearing guilt was eating her alive for, "and it's not your fault. and it's been killing me, every single day. i've been dying on the inside to tell you everything and tell you why i just could never tell you. i was trying to keep you safe, i thought i was doing a good thing by not telling you. secondly, 'eres mi corazón para siempre'.... it means you are my heart forever." subconsciously her hand grasping his was tightening and tightening around his the more words quickly began to unravel, "and thirdly, you're crazy. you're crazy if you haven't known that all along. i wanted you to though, it's messed up but i wanted you to somehow figure it out and know it too so you'd wait. i just needed a little more time, i needed you to wait because i WANTED to be with you the second you were there, drunk and confessing you loved me. you're crazy if you didn't know it when you came to my show and i sung that song for you. i was trying to run to you that night before things got ruined. you're crazy if you didn't know that time we kissed in your kitchen over there, the night i came over in care bear pajamas and you made fun of my slippers but you said they were cute. that night in my room when you said you find me in art and i was trying to take care of you. –and maybe i will let you by with the next one, but you're still crazy if you didn't know i've loved you the first moment you came up to me. i love you, marcus. i love you, te amo, i love you in every language. and in every one of my love songs i sing. i love you when you're being annoying, when i'm yelling at you in a stupid code to understand i love you, when i'm saying things in spanish to secretly say how much i love you, i love you for loving me." breath hitches, lungs forcing her to stop to take a breath so her brain can gain oxygen. her soulful eyes boring through his, voice exhausting itself and wanting to keep going until her voice wore out. she could, she easily could, there was so much ENDLESSLY more still wanting to tear out of her chest as doe eyes searched every spot of recognizable blue in his. clinging to his hand, if she lets go her legs might fail her.

             it  amazes  him  how  quickly  they  honor  their  habits  when  elena’s  immediately  brushing  off  his  line  of  questioning,  and  marcus'  frustration  pricks  because  he,  once  again,  cannot  break  through  her  armor.  her  hand  slides  away  from  her  shoulder,  further  revealing  her  cut  and  it’s  coagulating  blood.  in  the  exact  same  moment,  the  stench  of  cigarette  smoke  is  wafted  into  his  nose.  pieces  of  the  truth  arrive  in  his  mind  with  a  perfect  clarity;  marcus  had  absolutely  no  doubt  of  who  she  was  with,  dried  tears  and  smell  obvious  enough.  but  the  state  she  was  in...  if  her  boyfriend  had  laid  a  hand  on  her...  the  thought alone  imbibes  marcus  with  a  rage  he’s  never  felt  before,  something  almost  primal,  as  his  hands  immediately  began  to  shake.  knowing  the  last  thing  she  probably  needed  was  to  see  another  person  fly  off  the  handle,  it  still  takes  laborious  effort  for  him  to  stifle  down  his  emotion  and  maintain  some  semblance  of  calm.  lips  press  in  a  tight  line  at  her  blatant  lie,  feeling  offended  that  she  could  think  he  wouldn’t  know  her  better.  “and  the  concrete  ripped  your  sleeve to  shreds?”  he  questions  coolly,  eyes  dropping  down  to  her  tattered  dress.  "what  actually  happened?"  he  pressures.  "i  know  you.  i  know  when  you're  lying."

             he’s  watching  helplessly,  unsure  of  what  to  do  or  say  to  break  her  from  her  stupor.  any  other  time  he  wished  to  crawl  into  her  mind  before  now  suddenly  felt  so  self-serving.  when  her  bag  drops  to  his  floor,  her  phone  dings  as  if  on  cue.  that  notification  alert  is  so  burned  in  his  brain,  so  evocative  that  marcus’  stomach  quite  literally  churns  while  elena  ignores  the  sound  all  together  with  a  seeming  ease.  it  makes  him  wonder  how  often  she's  forced  herself  to  tune  that  noise  out.  gaze  follows  her  hands,  noticing  her  bracelet  and  remembering  that  his  own  thoughtfully  sat  on  his  nightstand as they spoke.  wearing  them  proved  too  difficult,  a  constant  reminder  of  what  he  was  trying  to  forget,  but  keeping  them  in  a  place  where  they  were  the  first  and  last  thing  he  looked  at  every  day  seemed  like  a  fair  compromise.  her  bloodied  palm  snaps  him  out  of  his  train  of  thought,  heart  plummeting  to  his  feet.  attempts  to  reconcile  how  to  fix  this,  how  to  tend  to  her,  but  quickly  remembers  that  his  first  aid  kid  is  probably  buried  in  a  nondescript  box.  marcus  was  beyond  frustrated,  feeling  completely  powerless  in  such  an  impossible  situation.  the  sight  of  her  blood  rattled  him,  as  if  it  were  unnatural.  she  wasn't  meant  to  bleed  like  this.  he  couldn't  rationalize  it.  oddly,  marcus  felt  that  he  had  failed  her,  as  if  protecting  her  was  his  job. 

             her  eyes  on  him  like  this  has  his  chest  rumbling  from  how  his  heart  thrashed  within  his  ribcage.  whole  body  tenses  when  she  speaks,  becoming  so  rigid  that  he  fixes  into  place.  he's  reminded  that  the  flame  between  them  could  never  be  completely  extinguished  —  this  sort  of  connection  felt  permanent,  despite  time  or  distance.  marcus  wills  himself  to  stay  grounded  in  this  moment;  to  not  allow  his  mind  to  wander  or  drift  into  anxieties  about  how  she  ended  up  like  this,  her  boyfriend,  his  own  move,  or  anything  else  that  awaited  him  once  they  went  their  separate  ways  again.  no,  he  wanted  to  be  present  right  now  —  for  her.  the  intensity  in  her  gaze  has  him  unraveled,  hands  shaking  for  an  entirely  new  purpose,  despite  that  fact that  had  no  idea  of what  she  was  about  to  articulate.  hand  drops  from  her  shoulder  as  he  takes  a  deep,  bracing  breath. “i’m  listening.”

[blackbirdcarol-blog]

Let’s Kill Tonight

De repente ya nada tenía sentido, la vida que había llevado parecía ser solo una mentira a comparación de todo lo que recordaba. Había pedido privacidad y se había encerrado en su cuarto, por un tiempo estuvo bien, solo eran los recuerdos que le azotaban pero pasando el tiempo la ansiedad comenzó atestarle, sintió una abrazadora sensación en las venas  como en su garganta, era como si estuviera hirviendo por dentro y todo lo que podía pensar era en una sola cosa: Sangre. Entonces recordó al médico que había capturado por error, cuando estaba con él se sentía segura y ahora que recordaba más cosas sobre él algo le empujaba a ir a su encuentro, tomó su abrigo y salió de aquel lugar, sin dar explicaciones y pidiendo a sus hombres que se mantuvieran a distancia. Tenía que ir al hospital y encontrarle, a su mentor, lo necesitaba, ahora; sin embargo al doblar una esquina no espero encontrarse con aquella persona—Malachai— Lo dijo sorprendida y casi en un alivio, no pudo evitar sonreír al encontrarle—¿Estás bien, cierto?—Preguntó mirándolo de arriba abajo, todo parecía estar bien con el chico —¿M…me recuerdas?—Pregunto  con cierto miedo a que Kai no le recordará como ella lo hacía. @dronekiller

[x-akari-xv]

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE

Alam kong madalas niyo na marinig ang story na 'to sa Bible. Pero ewan ko, nag scroll kasi ako sa notes ko tapos nakita ko 'tong verse na 'to. Timely lang sa season na 'to.

Luke 8:22‭-‬25 GNT

This was the moment na pupunta na sila sa Sea of Galilee. Jesus is about to perform miracle. Pero nung na sa byahe na sila, nakatulog si Jesus. Tapos biglang umulan nang sobrang lakas at napaka lalaki ng alon at itong mga disciples ni Jesus nataranta, kasi sino ba namang hindi? Kahit ako eh liit liit ng bangka tapos laki ng alon hahahaha

Nung nagising na si Jesus, He gave order to the wind and storm and they quieted down and there was a great calm.

Then Jesus questioned the faith of His disciples.

At ewan ko, i am really convicted na may pinapasabi ang Panginoon sa story na 'to.

Let me start by saying, It's never easy to fight the good fight of faith. Maraming down falls and breakings. At totoo na minsan hindi natin nakikita o nararamdaman pero nandyan lang si Jesus; fighting for you (over me) staying behind the scene. Waiting for us to surrender and allow Him to calm every storm. Watching us running through every wind and waters.

And it's okay to cry out for help – While it is true that the disciples panicked when the storm arose but they had enough faith to do something very productive – they asked Jesus to help them. Worry is always useless, but prayer is always effective. Although we may not get exactly what we want but we will get what we need.

After that storm story, nakapunta na sila sa other side of the lake which is the Teritory of Gerasa. And there, Jesus perfomed many miracles. And the disciples was with Him.

Jesus is the restorer of all things broken, the healer of all things sick.

Magaling ka na, okay ka na. Pero baka pagod ka na, and i encourage you tonight na okay lang mag pahinga. Natulog din si Jesus. And after that, He restores.

You glorified God by resting. Hindi ka naman human robot beh, tulog tulog din, 'wag masyadong i push kung antok na talaga. Pero ewan ko bakit ko nasingit 'yan pero matulog ka na *says by the small petite girl na nasusulat nito at 12 midnight* 🤣

Pero seryoso,

Kapag dumaan tayo sa mga problema don't focus on what we see. Because there is a behind a scene, which is power.

The behind the scene of our problems, sabi nga sa John 10:10 diba the enemy will try to kill, steal and destroy. Because the enemy is looking at your future with prosperity, grace and integrity.

We have the power to overcome, power to continue the fight because Jesus is with us. And storms will bow down by His name. Just fight the good fight of faith.. Mahirap but the spirit of victory is within you.

You will get there - to the other side of the lake, makakarating ka sa kung saan ka dadalhin ng Panginoon dahil lumaban ka.

It's always faith, trust and process.

At kapag dumating na ang araw na we passed through the other side of the lake don't forget someone that is on the other side.

They are also lost that waiting for someone na tutulong sa kanila, lalaban para sa kanila, at mananalangin para sa kanila. And that's your ministry. To win, but not your responsibility to save.

[amy-the-surfer-tisdale]

Another Normal Night ||| Self-Para

3 am. The Hamptons, New York. All that could be heard in the room was Amy's heavy breathing. If people passed by the room, they could think that Amy was either working out or well, with Maddie. But, Maddie was not even in there. Maddie was in Elysium. Amy had 'run away' to be with her friends for the weekend. So, why was Amy breathing so heavily? Amy was having a panic attack at 3 am. Another one. She was asleep, laying down on the bed, but kept moving. Almost as if she was not feeling good. The bed sheets were a mess, and so was Amy. She was sweating, she was breathing heavily, and murmuring some things that made no sense.

While that was, in her brain, some weird dreams were happening.

She was dreaming of Apollo killing her once again. Every single night that dream was what kept her up at night. Well, mostly that dream. Other times other dreams would happen. Sometimes it would be Maddie turning into the bad side and leaving her. Maddie's evil smile appeared in her dreams to haunt her at night every single time she dreamed of Maddie turning bad and leaving her. Other times it would be Charlie. Charlie taking Maddie away from her. So many crazy dreams would keep Amy up at night.

Tonight was Apollo, again.

She woke up a few moments later. Sat in bed, trying to catch her breath, but was impossible. She stood up and ran to the window, trying to see if the fresh air could keep her anxiety down. But was also not working.

Amy felt like she was dying. She felt such a strong feeling in her chest. She felt like she was choking, or something.

"Please, please." She murmured as she rubbed her chest but with no good luck. Amy kept rubbing her chest until she had a red mark on her tanned skin. "Fuck." She murmured as she noticed the mark she had made.

Amy needed something to help her out. She looked at the time, and well, no way she would call Maddie. She was probably just sleeping with Lottie. Only now Lottie was allowing them to have better nights of sleep. She needed to let Maddie rest.

Amy swallowed hard. She needed to do it. Amy ran to the other side of the room and started looking inside her bag. She had just gotten some new pills to take while being there with her friends. They would need to serve. Amy grabbed the bottle and took 3 out of it. She went to bed and grabbed her bottle of water, and with a quick sip, she took the pills.

Amy closed her eyes and took a few long and deep breaths. Her eyes closed, and the fresh air allowed her hair to fly freely.

Now she was starting to feel better. Her heartbeat was starting to feel normal again. Amy started breathing calmly. Her chest started to raise and fall slower until it was at the normal rhythm.

She opened her eyes again and smiled softly. She was high, yes, but at least she could sleep without bad dreams.