#pinecone the pug is a menace

[trashyswitch]

The Paw-fect Bachelor Party

The group have just finished riding Pinecone the Pug while spending time in Pixie Kingdom. But being a disproportionately small tabaxi, Frost is really nervous and overwhelmed by being towered by a pug puppy. Seeing this, Pinecone goes out of his way to make him happy. And it works! But...not in the way you'd think...

This fanfic takes place in a slightly different reality where Gideon doesn't get thrown off Pinecone between episodes 11 and 12 of Once Upon a Witchlight. I thought Frost and Pinecone could use a little more time together...and then it went a little off the rails...But you know what? It's all in good fun.

I hope you all enjoy!

Being in Pixie Kingdom felt unusual. Frost was still not used to being so small. And though riding a pug like it’s a rollercoaster ride would be fun to most, it was still quite overwhelming for Frost.

Now, Frost could conclude that this fear is due to the size difference. Usually pugs in their infancy would be really tiny compared to the taller, more broad-shouldered Frost…To the point that Frost could almost hold it in his own paws. But because he was now pixie-sized, this made the infant pug unusually large and almost dragon-like. It scared Frost a lot, especially at first due to how small he now felt compared to the pug. Not only that, but he knew that any sort of puppy can act somewhat unpredictable. With Frost being a tabaxi, and therefore cat-like, he had no clue how Pinecone would react to Frost. And though Pinecone had tried to be really kind to Frost before he hopped on, This kindness had resulted in Frost being covered in dog slobber.

After the ride, everyone got out of their seats and jumped back onto the ground. “That was so fun!” Kremy reacted, turning to face the pug. “What a good little pugicorn.” He started to pet the top of its nose, laughing a bit as he felt the pug’s wrinkly nose nuzzle him a little.

Gideon hopped off, and wiped some pug fur off his clothes. “I’d love to go again after the spinning stops.” He admitted.

“You need a seat, Gid?” Kremy asked.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll be okay- HEY!” Gideon covered his eyes with his arm as dog slobber flew into their direction.

As it would turn out, Frost had wobbled himself off the ride and shook himself off in typical tabaxi-fashion. Unfortunately, some of the dog slobber had flown into Kremy and Gideon’s direction. Gideon quickly covered up Kremy’s backside to save his purple jacket.

“What happened? Did he just get dog slobber on my coat?” Kremy asked.

Gideon backed up slightly and looked at the coat. “Uhhh…There’s only a couple drops. But other than that, you’re good.” Gideon replied, dusting off the slight wet spot of slobber.

“Okay, good.”Kremy muttered, relief filling his tone.

Gideon turned to Frost. “Watch where you’re shaking yourself off, man!”

Frost fixed his head fur and adjusted his hood, feeling somewhat distasteful at the dog smell that now permeated his clothes and fur. He felt soggy in a way no cat should ever feel. “Sorry, guys.”

“Frosty!” Frost heard from behind him as he felt an elbow against his side. “Wasn’t that fun?!” He asked.

“Please don’t.” Frost ordered.

“And Pinecone came to give ya something~” Gricko teased as the large puppy walked closer to Frost.

“HeyHEY NO-” Frost winced as he felt a big wet kiss against the side of his face. Frost groaned and shook off his face. “I’m gonna need a shower after this…” Frost muttered as he walked away.

“Wait wait…” Gricko looked to Pinecone, before looking at Frost. “Where are you going? Aren’t you gonna give Pinecone some love?” Gricko asked.

“I-I’m good.” Frost shook his head, looking away.

“What?” Gricko looked at Kremy and Gideon. “You’re not gonna?” He asked in his high-pitched voice. “But why?” He asked him next.

“Cause I’m…I’m not a dog person, Gricko.” He admitted. “I didn’t want to mention it before, but I believe I made it quite evident before the ride.” Frost told him.

“But…” Gricko looked up at Pinecone, who had tilted his head at Frost’s words. “But I don’t understand. Pinecone seems to really like you.” Gricko admitted.

Frost shook his head. “I know he does, but that doesn’t-” Frost looked down and widened his eyes. “…m-mean…” His words trailed off when he noticed the growing shadow.

Gideon looked up at the creature, and over to Frost with slight nervousness. “Frost…I don’t mean to alarm you…buuuuuut-”

“He’s right behind me…isn’t he…” Frost muttered, visibly nervous.

“He is…” Gideon confirmed.

Frost slowly turned himself around to face the pug. “H-Hello PinecooOOHGOD-” He widened his eyes when he was able to see just how close Pinecone was to him. There were almost no feet between them. That was how close Pinecone was. “Eeeeasy Pinecone…Easy…” He mumbled, chuckling awkwardly. He slowly raised his hands up to protect himself as he shuffled himself around the pug.

But every single movement that Frost would do, always seemed to make Pinecone follow him. Not only that, but Frost didn’t even realize he was scooting himself closer to the arena they were just in.

All Frost knew was that Pinecone was getting closer and closer by the second. “P-Pinecone?” Frost asked.

Frost’s entire body froze like a deer in headlights as Pinecone’s mouth opened to reveal his big slobbery tongue. He closed his eyes and braced for impact, fully expecting another slobber-filled kiss.

But to his surprise, the puppy had immediately closed his mouth and started nuzzling him with his nose. That little purring sound Pinecone had made before the ride, had come back to try and calm Frost down once again.

Frost started trying to gently push the pug’s big black nose away from his chin. “Okay, okay. Just take it easy.” Frost told the pug. He jumped slightly when he felt his tongue give the littlest of licks against his chin.

“Aww, that looked more like a mini lick.” Gideon reacted.

“You look really nervous…But he seems to really like you!” Bixie mentioned. “Why don’t you try laying down? He’ll be a lot more gentle if you do.” Bixie told him.

“Uuuh…” Frost looked nervous. He slowly laid himself down onto the ground of the arena, hoping she was right. “Like this?” He asked.

“Well, sit yourself up, at least.” Bixie reacted. After Frost did this, Bixie smiled brightly. “Alright! Now:” Bixie walked up to Pinecone and whispered something into his ear in her spoken language. In an instant, Pinecone laid himself down and started sniffing Frost’s face.

“oOH- okay. Hi, Pinecone.” He responded, chuckling awkwardly.

“See? There’s nothing to be afraid of!” Gricko told him.

“He seems harmless.” Kremy mentioned.

“Yeah! He just wants to get to know you!” Gricko added.

“I know that, but-” Frost paused his words as he watched Pinecone desperately push his hood off his head.

“I guess he really wants your hood off.” Kremy responded.

“Does he?” Frost looked up at Bixie. “Should I remove it?” Frost asked.

“Sure! Well, unless you want Pinecone to keep pushing at your hood.” Bixie added.

Frost nodded and slowly removed his hood. “There you go.” Frost said.

Almost immediately, the pug’s eyes seemed to light up. It was like Frost did a magic trick on him! This was immediately evident in the tippy-taps of his front paws.

“Whoa! Okay, you got really happy all of a sudden.” Frost reacted.

And just like that, Pinecone started nuzzling against his chest and stomach.

“aaAAH! Pinecone! Pinecone, no! Pinecone!” Frost jumped and felt his fur fluff up as the pug’s wet nose shoved itself into his neck. “Pinecone hohold ohon-” Frost tried and failed to push his desperate little nose away from his neck. But this was super difficult considering the size difference.

“Awww! He’s trying to shower you in kisses!” Gricko reacted.

“Pinecone! No kisses! Nohoho!” Frost tried to yell back.

“Awwww!” Bixie giggled a little. “I think Frost is starting to like it~” Bixie teased as bouts of laughter could be heard erupting from Frost’s mouth.

“Pihinecone plehease! this is getting to behe- Hahahaha! Aha bit much!” He tried to tell him.

Gideon was thrown a little off guard by the unusual sound. “Wait…Why’s he laughing?” He asked.

Kremy shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. Maybe he thinks Pinecone’s reactions are funny?” He guessed. “Does it look like he’s having fun?” He asked.

“Awwwww, that’s adorable! Look at you two getting along!” Gricko reacted.

“Grihihicko shuhut it!” Frost shot back. “Gehehet him ohohoff!” Frost’s laughter was changing from being jumpy and sporadic, to being bubbly and joyous.

Gideon narrowed his eyes. “Hmmm…” Gideon walked himself around to get a better angle of Frost and Pinecone. Not able to get a very good angle from above, Gideon kneeled himself down and looked at Frost and the pug from below.

“Hahahahaha! Hahahaha- Stahahap!” Frost was kicking his feet and switching between pushing Pinecone’s nose away, and covering his neck. “J-Juhust- HAhahahahaha!” He threw his head back, unintentionally giving Pinecone more room to nuzzle under his chin. This made Frost squeal and curl his neck in. But no matter how much he tried to hide the spot, Pinecone was still able to reach it.

Gideon raised his eyebrows as a little smile grew on his face. “Well I’ll be damned!” He got up onto his feet. “I think Pinecone’s ticklin’ him!” He reacted.

“Ya know, I suspected that, but I didn’t wanna jinx it!” Bixie teased.

“Awwww! That’s so cute!” Gricko reacted.

By now, Pinecone had begun moving his nose away from his neck. It was likely that Pinecone was finding it difficult to keep going for Frost’s neck. With his neck now free, Frost began to slowly calm down. “Hehe…heh…jeeheeheez…” He covered his mouth, attempting to cover up the rest of his giggly laughter.

“Uhh…” Kremy started to speak up, but was interrupted by a little yappy bark from the disproportionately large pug. “I don’t think Pinecone’s done yet.” He admitted.

Frost widened his eyes, sensing the worst. “Kremy, what is-” Frost’s words turned into a slow gasp as he felt a large, quick lick against his right ear. And HOLY MOTHER OF GODS, the shriek that left Frost’s mouth! It was almost a guffaw, mixed with a cat-like squeal.

That simple shriek was enough to leave the entire group speechless.

And then it took the group another second…to realize that Frost was now attempting to hide his ears as squeaky giggles escaped from his mouth! His squeaks were…almost childish! And his giggles were very out-of-character for Frost. And yet at the same time…the sound matched Frost perfectly! Not only that, but every little sporadic movement Frost would make, would only tickle his ears even more! There seemed to be absolutely no way for a pixie-sized tabaxi to win a play-fight against a giant puppy pug.

Gideon looked absolutely shocked! He had no idea Frost was even capable of making such a squeal! And those giggles?! Is this pixie dust making him hallucinate?! FInally, Gideon doubled over and bursted out in wheezy, glorious laughter of his own. Oh my god, this whole situation was just hysterical to him! And he immediately swore to himself that he would NEVER let Frost live this moment down!

Gricko threw his own head back and bursted out in wild cackles of his own! “OH MY GODS, FROST!” Gricko squeezed his eyes as he let out yet another long laugh. This was GLORIOUS! Who knew! Who knew Frost was even capable of such a wild sound!

While the other buffoons were laughing their lungs out, Kremy was still mostly left in shock. But when he felt a laugh filling his throat, Kremy quickly covered his mouth to stop it in its tracks. Though Frost’s laugh (and the others’ laughter) was great to hear, he didn’t want to hurt Frost’s feelings by laughing at him as well. And as the leader of the group, he felt it was his personal responsibility to keep himself together and hold back his laughter to save what’s left of Frost’s dignity.

Despite the sheer volume of Frost’s friends, Pinecone looked to be having the most fun out of all of them. The pug looked absolutely ecstatic to be making Frost laugh like this. Laughter means happiness, right? He hasn’t been told otherwise, so...

And then there was Frost himself. This man was a wiggly, cackly mess. Of all the spots to go for…why did it have to be his ears?! Usually in kittens, the ears are more of a comfort spot…or rather, a melt spot if you will. But for Frost, his ears seemed to have developed a large amount of nerve endings. And even though he appreciated the dopamine rush, this overwhelming feeling was getting to be a little too much for the Tabaxi.

And thankfully, it looked like Bixie was noticing this. “Okay Pinecone, I think that’s enough.” Bixie finally spoke up. She whispered the same words into Pinecone’s ear in her familiar faerie language, so Pinecone could understand the command.

In a few moments, Pinecone halted his licking and backed up so Frost could have some space. Seeing that he may have hurt him, Pinecone let out a few little whimpers that expressed guilt and worry for the cat.

Gideon looked up at Pinecone. “I know, pooch. Don’t worry, okay? I’ll check on him.” Gideon knelt down to Frost’s side. “You okay, Frost?” he asked.

Frost was breathing somewhat heavily from laughing so hard earlier. He was tired, but relatively okay all things considered. “Y-Yeah…I’m good.” Frost took Gideon’s hand and got pulled back onto his feet. “Goodness…I know puppies are playful, but…” He smiled a bit. “To say Pinecone’s size helped him, is a fairly big understatement.” Frost admitted.

“I’ll say…” Gideon scratched Frost’s right ear, just to see what would happen.

And just as he predicted, Frost let out a cat-like yelp and curled his neck in. “AH- G-Gideon!” Frost leaned his head back slightly as giggles overcame him. “Plehease dohohon’t! Nohot you tohohohoo!” He reached up to try and get his fingers away.

“Huh…” Gideon stopped the scratching. “So that one’s pretty ticklish. But…” Gideon moved his fingers to the other ear and started scratching there. “Is this one worse?” He asked.

Frost threw his head back, and wiggled his ears in an attempt to get his fingers off. “Stahahap!” Frost wiggled his ears. “Cohohome ohohon!” Frost almost whined, trying to run away from him.

“Oh no you don’t.” Gideon wrapped his left arm around Frost, and resumed scratching his ears.

“eeEEEK! NONONODAHAHAMMIHIHIHIT! HAHAHAhahahahaha!” Frost squealed, before falling into a fit of cackles.

“I Gotta say, Pinecone found some gold right there.” Kremy admitted.

“Hell yeah, he did…And I’m gonna keep diggin’ till I find more.” Gideon declared.

Frost’s laughter seemed to soften a little bit the moment Gideon’s nails scratched at the side of his ear. “GIHIhihidee- Hahaha! D-dohohohon’t!” Frost yelled out, trying and failing to wiggle out of his grip.

“Don’t what?” Gideon asked.

“Tickle mehehehehee!” Frost yelled back.

“You sure about that?” Gideon asked with a smirk.

“Yehehehess! What dohoho yohou thihihihink?!” Frost yelled back.

“Damn, dude! Watch the attitude!” Gideon looked at Frost from the side. “If ya wanted to be tickled so badly, ya could’ve just asked nicely.”

“Whahahat-?” Frost gasped and doubled over as Gideon’s fingers dug into his sides. Laughter exploded from Frost’s mouth as he wiggled around and gripped his hands. “GIDEON STAHAHAHAP- That’s NOT WHAT I MEHEHEANT!” He yelled.

“Holy smokes!” Kremy reacted.

“AHAAHAA! I LOVE THIS!” Gricko reacted, holding his stomach.

“WHAHAT PART OF DOHOHON’T TIHICKLE MEHEHEHE DOHON’T YOU UNDERSTAHAHAHAND?!” Frost shouted at them.

Gideon snickered. “Last I recall, you said ‘tickle me’, not ‘don’t tickle me’.” He told him.

“SHUHUHUT UHUP!” Frost yelled back.

“You should’ve realized what you were saying before you said it.” Kremy said, walking up to Gideon. “Mind if I help?” He asked.

“Go ahead!” Gideon replied.

“NO, NO, KREMYNO!” The moment the poor Tabaxi’s hip was squeezed by Kremy, it was all over. Frost had thrown his head back with a long, quiet wheeze before being overcome with cackles…A long fit of cackles.

But Kremy somewhat ignored these cackles…as some other sound managed to catch his attention. “Whoa…” Kremy looked up at Gideon as he placed his hand on Frost’s shoulder. He could feel something…unusual. “You feeling that?” Kremy asked.

“Yeah, I am.” Gideon felt for the feeling again…And sure enough, he could feel the vibrations.

“He’s…vibrating?” Kremy asked.

Gideon smirked. “I think the word you’re looking for is purring.” Gideon explained, recognizing the distinctual vibrations.

Frost covered his mouth as his mouth started to let out little bits of purrs in between the laughter. But no matter how much he tried to hide it, it was mainly the physical vibrations throughout his body that was the main giveaway.

Gideon was shocked, to say the least. He couldn’t believe it! Was Frost loving this? He had to be! But to be absolutely sure, Gideon looked over at Gricko. “Hey Gricko!” Gideon called.

Gricko sat himself up. “Yeah?”

“Has Frost ever purred for you before?” Gideon asked.

Gricko widened his eyes and ran up to Frost. “Yeah, he has!”

“Grihihicko dohohon’t!” Frost was doing all he could to cover his face and snout. But with his face covered, Frost wasn’t able to hide his ticklish spots from Gricko. And let’s just say…Gricko most certainly knew all of Frost’s ticklish spots.

“Let’s see…” Gricko muttered to himself. He placed his hand onto Frost’s chest, and immediately felt the purrs. “Yup! He’s purring alright!” He replied proudly. “And if I remember this correctly…” Gricko started to mutter to himself as he scratched his finger around his upper neck.

“NAHA! Grihihicko-” Frost squeezed his eyes shut and braced for impact. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew there was no way to stop him.

“One of these spots will make him…” Gricko gasped slightly as he heard the sound. “There we go!” Gricko replied.

Gideon dropped his jaw as he heard it: A…whimper? A chirping sound? Wait…what was it?! And why in the hell was it so cute?!

“He’s chirping like a birdy!” Gricko reacted, making it happen again with a few more scratches.

Gideon slowly let go of Frost. “Oh my god…”

“Isn’t it cute?!” Gricko reacted.

“I’ve never heard that sound before!” Kremy reacted.

“Frost told me that tabaxis make the sound when they see birds or rodents.” Gricko giggled. “But just a little scritchy-scritchy on his neck right here…” Gricko smirked as the chirping sound left Frost’s mouth. “Will make him chatter!” He explained.

“That’s adorable! Ain’t it, Gid?” Kremy asked, gently elbowing Gideon.

“It is, but…I think he needs to breathe.” Gideon admitted.

“Alright, alright. You’re right.” Gricko removed his fingers and gave Frost some space. “There ya go.”

Frost had gone almost completely limp in Gideon’s arms. Not wanting Frost to fall onto the ground again, Gideon placed Frost onto a bench nearby. “Alright, I promise I’ll actually help you now.” He told him as he sat down beside him. “You still okay?”

Frost let out some huffs of breath. “When…When I’m better…*huff, huff*...I’m gonna…get my revenge…On both of you…” Frost warned, pointing one finger each towards Gideon and Gricko.

Now, Gricko wasn’t threatened by Frost’s warning. And you’d think that Gideon wouldn’t be bothered by the threat either. But…considering this was a threat from Frost of all people, Gideon had zero problem treating his words as a genuine threat. If there was going to be revenge from Frost, it will happen...and it’s likely going to happen very, very soon…