#pl is lying ofc
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I have to say, MC is kind of crazy for helping Belphie because I would've never attempted that in their position.
Like, wdym I just got in hell and you want me to somehow figure out how convince Lucifer and his brothers - six of the most powerful demons in hell - to make pacts with me without giving away any ulterior motives? To consistently lie to the only people guaranteeing my safety in this place and risk angering them just to try and free you??
I mean, you're practically immortal so a year for you isn't that much time, you're in a nice room, you don't have to go to RAD like the rest of us, you're getting fed, and you spend most of his time asleep! Your situation is NOT that bad. Oh, but you don't want to be in isolation for the rest of the year till the exchange program ends? Well, tough luck bud, that's what most of us had to go through during the pandemic. You can wait.
I could bring you some card games or whatever to help you pass time but no babe, I'm not working to free you. Sorry, I'm already busy stressing over how I'm gonna survive a year in hell, I don't need more anxiety in me right now.
#so much trouble just to get you out of demon timeout and make lucifer furious?? what?? 😭#sorry but I'm not trynna anger the ***actual devil from the bible***#I would never take that kind of risk hell nah. I'm shutting my mouth and not trying shit#actually it's more likely that I'd just tell lucifer like- “i'm sorry for disobeying but I kinda met your brother and I won't tell ppl#but he said he wants to make up?" (he was lying ofc but hey I'd be leaving HIM to solve that not me) like pls my family drama is enough#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me!#om belphie#om mc#om s1#om brothers#obey me belphegor#nocreativityfornames#100+
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Friendly reminder that the guy who made Wonder Woman was polyamorous and based her on his wife and their girlfriend. Can you imagine? To love someone so much that you use your position to portray them as a literal goddess of love and hope and truth? And to fill that concept with so much love and heart that she becomes one of the three pillars holding up DC as a whole? Those are the things the world is built on I think.
#will marston elizabeth marston olive byrne you will always be famous#and ofc all the uh totally vanilla sex habits that built upon the character and her world#they walked so stjepan sejic could run#wonder woman#also sidenote apparently the dude lied about inventing the polygraph which.#idc what you say lying about creating the machine that catches you lying is objectively hilarious#diana prince#diana of themyscira#diana of themiscyra#wonder women#william moulton marston#olive byrne#elizabeth holloway marston#charles marston#dc comics#dc trinity#dc#bro every time i try to do a post like this i learn smth like “oh yeah that dude sucked actually” pls can we not do that with this one ong#i did like a whole check before making this post just to ensure that it wouldn't be awkward#plus i think id just be sad
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One day I'll get my braincells together and put it to paper how the pillars of eternity games manage to make the player feel powerful without making the Watcher a power fantasy character but like... this is not that day
#hablaty#i mean off the top of my head I can recall at least one scene that pops up#in both pillarz 1 and mássz effekt 2 but the latter is completely unironic about it#namely y'know the scene when you wake up gr*nt? the compliment he gives sepörd about offering a hand while hiding a gun in the other?#how that's supposed to make you feel like a badass?#pillarz 1 has that line coming from the in-universe god of betrayal if you spent a certain amount of the game lying your ass off#essentially he shows up after you kill the final boss and is like ''hey we reviewed your performance#and you're perfectly qualified to fill the position of the guy you just killed :) pls take the job you're very cool and it has benefits :)#all you gotta do is betray everyone and do something horrible but you're cool you can do it we love you uwu''#and he straight up drops the same line but with a knife instead of a gun it's genius#but ofc there is more to it but idk what i'm trying to say is that in pillarz if you are an all powerful badass#that's a bad thing bc it's not fair to you and it's not fair to the people your choices affect#but you have to be an all powerful badass bc the world is fucked up#it's such a good deconstruction of the chosen one trope it's great
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you know my academic anxiety is bad when im watching the US election to distract myself
#its not even relevant to me but isnt it tho#isnt it the end of the world kind of#lying ofc#american mutuals im praying for u pls take care of urselves today
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i just LOVE when i’m talking with my sibling and i mention an anime and they try to potentially mansplain to me the damn anime… as if i never watched or heard abt it before
#・ .˳⁺⁎ 𓂃 ⌗ ⠀:⠀ rants.#like i’ve been watching anime since i was 11-12.. idfk why you gotta pretend like i never heard of it before#we were talking abt a mv that was called inuyasha and i commented smth abt how it reminded me of avatar (the vibes of the mv)#mf had the audacity to say ‘you know there’s an anime called inuyasha’ like????? ofc i fucking do???#and then they rolled their eyes like they didn’t believe me that i knew abt it.. bitch???#i’ve been in this anime shit since you were a kid pls stop pretending like i’ve never heard of the og anime before#people like this get on my nerves bc they think they’re the only ones watching like no? i did too before i got busy with life#that wasn’t the only time it happened— bc even the trending anime rn they think i’m lying abt watching THIS IS SO FUNNY GKDJD#anyway rant over— it’s childish and annoying to think like that#just bc you don’t see me watching 24/7 it doesn’t mean i’m not slowly catching up on various anime on my list
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minted: three (explicit) | myg
title: minted: part three (m) pairing: street king!yoongi x street vendor!reader series: masterlist | one | two rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , smut ; haegeum au , gang au summary: at this point, you would do anything to forget. including the unthinkable with a gangster. note: sooo this series basically saved my writing slump haha. i am still having the time of my life and i’m so excited to show y’all more of this minted universe. and to also show you just how spicy things can get❤️🔥 note 2: this is ofc a present for hali @sailoryooons that spiraled into a whole universe. still always gonna thank nary @joonary for letting me use the vendor reader idea, as well! also happy birthday to @remmykinsff @awbells @keylime4eva @aaclariww and @noshit-cantfindagoodone!! to everyone else having a bday around this time, this is my gift to you hehehe. warnings: language, drugs, alcohol, slow burn, murder mentions, gang activity, mint!yoongi, haegeum!yoongi, tatted!yoongi, his eyebrow is pierced, chains bc of course :)), world-building, reader is still sassy, yoongi is still infuriating, tension explicit warnings: under the cut! drop date: december 9th, 2024, 9:03pm est word count: 12.3k 😀👍
explicit warnings: i know it’s a slow burn but there’s definitely smut lol, choking, head/hair tugging, penetration, oral (f rec), backshotssss, marking bye, rough sex, ass play, breast play, his hands are a nice necklace😀, taunting cus reader’s an icon, thighs, breath play, spanking, hand job, protected sex, multiple orgasms, restraints (his hands, robe tie), brat!reader but who is honestly shocked🙂↔️, brat tamer!yoongi lmao, yoongi is a menace i’m sorryyyy, but reader is…?????, need them both™, teasing, rawdogging HELLO?? (pls wrap it up fr!), commanding yoongi a ha ha, pain kink, cowgirl🙂↕️, this is just the calm before a whole damn storm
—
—
“But,” you exhale with a shake. “Just for tonight…”
This is it.
The brink of no return.
Your soul dips into the dark.
“Please make me fucking forget.”
Did you go too far?
Is there a limit to his accommodation? Did you actually think this was gonna be easy?
When silence swirls between your robes, you start to second guess your demand.
But Yoongi simply stares before stepping aside, allowing you to enter his room with jellied legs.
This is madness, but you’re gonna go through with it. Whatever the hell this will be. Because you may not know much, but you figure all men sit up the same when sex is on the table.
This man, though...
Quite frankly, you aren’t sure about anything when it comes to him. Unless it’s about him doing something questionable. Then there’s no question about it.
The enigma himself makes no conversation as you step inside, even as your eyes roam around a cleaner, more put-together room than when you left the first time. Did Yoongi clean this much while you made a mess of your dreams?
The only answer you get is a door shutting, followed by a massive presence at your back. Before you can so much as turn around, the first words on your shoulders burn like embers,
“Was he your first.”
Fuck.
This isn’t what you approached him for. He’s supposed to make you forget, not remember. Remember?
You don’t turn around; you don’t respond right away. Instead, you swallow before focusing very hard on the fact that Yoongi sleeps on the bedside nearest the window. At least, judging by the way the covers are flipped. You happen to prefer the side opposite.
The heat from his body proves soft but intense, and you can’t help but close your eyes when you finally answer with a question,
“Do you remember yours?”
“Yes.”
“Do you ever regret it?”
“No.”
Your vision lowers to the rug lying still under the bed. A splash of light grey amongst a darkened, moonlit sea.
No matter how quick Yoongi answers. No matter how even his tone.
He still remembers it, too.
But this isn’t what you expected when you walked in here. You assumed this man was going to get right to it, save no room for you to second guess yourself. Clearly he gave zero shits about kissing you in that taxi, and he damn near undressed you in the living room.
So what’s the holdup here? Does he want this for real? Or not?
Head at a slight angle, you admit with a hint of finality, “I don’t wanna talk about that.”
“Mm.” A warm, rough hand subtly tugs at your belt, and prominent knuckles nudge through the smooth material of your robe. “So what are you really here for.”
Your eyes blink thrice.
Yoongi cannot be serious. Does he really not know?
No. He knows. With a shift of your jaw, you realize he’s just fucking with you, purposefully not in the way you want. “You’re being difficult.”
“You woke me up.”
Ah. That’s fair.
“So tell me.”
Well. If you’re gonna have to spell things out for him, he’s gonna be waiting for awhile. Because the more you stand here not doing anything, the harder it is to gather a little thing called courage. Courage to meet the beast in his den, and madness to let him devour you whole. Now you have neither. Neither, neither, neither.
Awkwardness sticks to your throat until it’s jammed, and you can barely mush your lips together to form sounds. The courage you speak of flees before you can wrangle it, and what’s left of your answer tumbles out like boulders, “This is.. I don’t.. I can’t.”
“You can.”
“It’s,” you huff, noting that you don’t like this horrible mix of hesitation and anger, “It’s… I’m—”
Your vision jolts as you feel a quick tug shit you’re spinning fuck your back just hit a wall��
“Of all things today,” Yoongi murmurs with slits for eyes, “This is what gets you to shut up?”
Damn it.
You don’t even have a rebuttal. Because he’s right. Yoongi’s sharp discernment is millimeters from your face and you have no intention to move nor speak. Only quick breaths. Only shaky exhales.
But you do swallow.
Which brings out a sound you will never admit you like: a breathy, condescending laugh, as coarse and as soft as his touch.
“You mean to tell me,” he observes, tilting your chin while his irises blaze dark, “You came all the way in here for nothing?”
“No, I—”
“All that talk, and for what.”
Defend yourself. Say something. Say just one word two words any words—
Did Yoongi just pat your cheek? ..Twice?
Why did you kinda like that—
“Makes no sense,” he ponders aloud, lolling his head and staring down your crumpled lips. “Who even are you..”
Now that's an easy one. You always have the answer to that question.
“No one,” you whisper. “Sorry to disappoint you.”
Seems like the people back home aren’t the only ones you’ll let down. If Yoongi keeps that question loaded in the chamber, he’s gonna keep shooting the same target. Over, and over, and over.
But you don’t have to worry. Because he drops it, caging you in with a hand near your stiff, risen shoulder, “So what are you here for.”
This is a mistake. Either Yoongi doesn’t want this, or he’s being frustrating on purpose and your fire is both stoked and quelled. “Now I don’t know for sure.”
“The more you stall the harder it gets,” he goads with a lick of teasing. And for a split, minuscule second, you wonder if that meant more than one thing.
Goddamn, he’s annoying. He’s outright savoring this.
Maybe you shouldn’t be surprised. You woke him up for god’s sake. If someone did this same thing to you after the day you’ve had, you wouldn’t have even let them in.
Unfortunately for you, Yoongi’s version of dealing with a midnight inconvenience is whittling them down until they leave—
“So you can tell my bellhop off but I get nothing, huh.”
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
You’re so taken aback that you can only ask, “What?”
Mercifully, the dragon gives you air, straightening before leaving your personal space.
Your focus should be on his words. You know this. But he uses this moment to rake his hair, and words are no match for the sleeve cascading down his inked forearm.
Even as his hair flows in waves, you still cling to his tattoos as he looks downward in thought. “You think I wouldn’t check who the fuck was coming up here?”
It takes you a second to process.
But you realize what this means and you fall silent again.
Yoongi saw that? All of that? You acted without much thought, and if he really did see and hear everything that went down, there’s a chance he thinks a lot differently about you now. No wonder he’s so thrown by this switch in behavior.
But on the other hand.. The way he touched you in the living room. Was all that because of what he saw? Is that side of you the one that pulled him close?
You thought his parting would allow you room to breathe. How very wrong you were.
Shoving all contemplation aside, you decide to coat the room with concern, your assertion making a brief comeback, “He said a lot of shit, Yoongi. What was that about?”
He languidly approaches the long table at your side—one you faintly noticed while leaving the room the first time. Unbothered, he slides unhurried fingers over a gun, stopping on the barrel before reaching for something less lethal.
A decanter, it seems. Liquid flows from the container into a smaller glass, and you assume it’s whisky from the deep amber tones and luscious pour.
When you wonder where else Yoongi litters his weapons, he cuts through your surveying,
“You really wanna know?”
Looking up, you nod.
He sets the bottle down with a dull clink. “He took his chances.”
“His.. What?”
Now what the hell could this man mean by that? You were clearly being coaxed into leaving the premises, vaguely feeling like something seemed off. How is he being so dismissive about all this?
Slowly, Yoongi shakes his head, looking out into the night while taking his initial sip. “I don’t come here often. But when I do, I come alone.” Long fingers nestle his cup perfectly as he explains further, “It’s been awhile, so. Had to feel out the staff.”
The staff. Is that why Yoongi held your hand? To weasel someone out? You really thought he meant it when he said he just wanted to…
How naive.
“His plan could’ve been solid.”
“But what?” You ask, newfound frustration clipping your tone.
Yoongi slides you a look over the rim of his glass. “He didn’t know who he’d be dealing with.”
Your eyes roll so far they strain.
But this begs a question. Does he mean dealing with you? Or him? Surely he meant your little show at the elevator but he could very well mean himself.
Facts are facts. Would Yoongi really trade il-don for you? Absolutely not. So you have to assume he’s mostly talking about the latter.
Your scoff is pitched to the side, “Of course. You wouldn’t trade il-don for anything.”
Yoongi pauses, not acknowledging your comment in the slightest as he strolls back your way. “Something I am curious about..” As he leans in, musk and whisky invade both your space and senses. And you hate, hate, hate that you need more of it. “Who was he talking to?”
“Someone he royally pissed off.”
“Mm.”
“You’re not gonna punish him?”
“Me? Nah.” Leaning on the sideboard, he stares out the windows across the room. Your vision follows suit. “Not until I have to.”
If what happened wasn’t enough to warrant a punishment, you’re morbidly curious about what ticks the box. “I figured he’d be dead by now. At least for trespassing.”
Yoongi only shrugs. “Grey zones aren’t just amnesty for the clans. Anything goes here, too, so a ransom attempt isn’t surprising.”
This man really doesn’t stand on black or white. Here you are with eggs for brains discovering you were almost taken instead of saved, and he’s chalking it up to, what, just another Tuesday? Or is it still Monday? You don’t even know anymore.
Your question leaves you a little scuffed. Because you feel exactly like leftover goods. The fruit at the back. “Are you always this heartless?”
“So I’ve been told.”
Great.
So much for being… Safe up… here…
You glance at the touch on your hip, and your eyes traverse up his arm as he toys with your belt again.
Shouldn’t you feel disgusted? Shouldn’t you be walking away? It’s crystal clear how little this man thinks of you, or anyone for that matter. He probably brought you along just to be a shield for his precious il-don. So why can’t you bring yourself to leave?
Your knot starts to loosen.
His voice begins to flow.
“But if you’re gonna go for what’s mine, don’t be an idiot.”
Wait.
No. Nope. Stop thinking about what that could mean. Because if you think too hard, it will only leave you disappointed.
But there’s something you won’t stop doing. And Yoongi knows you won’t. So as he keeps playing at your waist, your words come out in shudders,
“Can’t believe you used me.”
Yoongi hums, and it makes you shiver when his touch leaves you to rest against wood counters. “You’re about to use me, too.”
Fucking hell, he’s right.
“Gotta say I didn’t expect it, but..” Damn him and his head tilts. “I’m impressed.”
You’re too empty-headed that you can’t even process his words as genuine praise. His touches already feel like pops of lights in the night sky.
It’s a given. You aren’t prepared for him in the slightest.
“Come here.”
Lightly pulling your hand, Yoongi brings you to stand in front of him. And from this point of view, you become even more ensnared.
His robe flows down his taut build so beautifully, painting him like dark water over rolling hills. At his peak, the hair you’ve come to miss frames his face like artwork. Mesmerizing. Your downfall.
“You get one more chance. Tell me why I’m awake.”
Your brow lift is only a front. The rest of you is shaking, trembling, howling. “You clearly know.”
“Tell me anyway.”
Relentless. Will you shame yourself for wanting to see him use this same strategy on other people? Most likely. But will that stop you from thinking about it anyway? Absolutely, positively not.
But there’s another side of you that’s being comforted. And it’s the side that realizes how much he’s spoken, how much time you’ve spent without needing to watch behind your back.
Yoongi talking this much? It’s making things easier. And it’s strangely making you feel a little better, even if the subject matter isn’t the greatest topic in the universe.
After you steal a glance at the other whisky glass, you look into his eyes. Determined and decisive. Knowing exactly what you want at this very moment, because you just need a little more time.
“Tell me more. About grey zones.”
Something in the air freezes. And Yoongi’s brows crease so comically you almost laugh. “That’s it?”
“Yes.”
His nod is slow as he sets down his glass.
And you’re quickly hauled back so fast that you don’t have time to react.
A rush of air. The world topples. Soft sheets.
Dangerously, a thin chain sways above as Yoongi shrouds your body in silk and lingering smoke. A gasp escapes you as he peers into your eyes, and your senses fire as a commanding hand slides up your thigh.
“Final answer?”
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck you know you want him and you still do but also talking to him isn’t half bad and maybe you’re just tired of being lonely—
Musk. Alcohol. Breathing hard, you take it all in. Slowly nodding because you can’t function otherwise, which makes a dragon flash teeth.
But he obliges without moving a muscle, so you’re left underneath a demon—robe dangerously close to opening and exposing everything once again.
A man of conviction, Yoongi does exactly as you ask. Eyes drooped, he continues his explanations, as if he didn’t just shove you into his enormous bed and tangle you under his legs,
“They started awhile ago, back when all the high-powers got locked in a grudge match. Took half the city with them.”
Immediately, your shoulders start to sink into his tale. “Half is a lot.”
“Everything went to shit,” he agrees. “Not even the Politicol could stop it all.”
“Bullshit.”
His level expression is enough to refute.
Now that’s a shock to learn. For as long as you can remember, the Politicol have always held more power than any force should ever have. If they weren’t able to keep this under control, the high-powers used to be ungodly.
Staring at the slippage on Yoongi’s shoulder, you wonder if those ink lines are to immortalize the ones that came before him. The history he must’ve grown up memorizing.
Still.. Why does he have them all? There’s no way he doesn’t know how disrespectful that is to all three clans.
But then again. He said he didn’t choose them himself. Which leads you nowhere in this unending maze.
Head disheveled; robe coming undone. To outsiders, you’d be at Yoongi’s mercy.
But in reality, you’re laser focused on him and his explanations. Especially when his voice scratches every itch just right. “So…” You watch his gaze slowly slide down your face. “What happened?”
Even now, Yoongi’s hands stay exactly where they are. The only thing that moves is the tinkling swing of his silver above your warming neck. “Deals were made, stripping power from all of them in certain sectors so that none could completely take over.”
“Why only in certain ones?”
A corner of his mouth quirks up. “Let’s just say the negotiations went how you think they did.”
Your eyes roll yet again. But another question pings into your mind as quick as the first one, knitting your brows. “Wait… Deals with the Politicol? Or each other? No way they would’ve let cowards put them all on a leash.”
At this, something interesting passes over Yoongi’s face.
But it flits away before you can snatch it for further inspection, and the shift of his leg against your thighs resets your brain.
“Any of the clans could’ve monopolized if they had the right resource, but. They weren’t ever gonna let outsiders get a piece. Called a truce and kept their mouths shut.”
Makes sense. You know exactly what resource he’s referring to. “The il-don.”
“That’s part of it.” He shifts again, but this time, your legs have more room to move. “But grey zones have priority infrastructure. The ones that keep the lights on. If you had the money, you had the people. And people are the best resource there is.”
It’s at this moment that a lot of things click into place.
And one of those is figuring out that you may have been a little wrong about the man above you.
Is he heartless? To a high degree. But that comes with being calculating. Patient. Smart. Everything that Yoongi has been this entire time you’ve tagged along.
He’s not keeping the il-don safe because he treasures it. It’s because the money is a tool. A tool to help him get what he wants whenever he needs. And leverage it for value instead of frivolous decisions and material things.
Yoongi must have really, really enjoyed your tangerines.
A stray touch finally makes its way inside your thigh. And you flare between your legs. Shivering. Aching. You’re sparkling inside but won’t allow yourself to fully explode. Not when he’s revealing so much without telling. Not when you’re starting to see things from his angle.
“Keep talking,” you rush out, gripping his robe and squeezing his pelvis.
Though his fingers still light flares on your skin, Yoongi stops in his daring quest, observing your face without judgment.
“I like it,” you shakily admit. Because screw it, since you’ll never see him again. “Learning about all this.”
You sigh at his weight. His beautiful, strangely calming weight. “About you, too.”
Stopping all movements, Yoongi coats your skin with gravel. “What good will knowing all this do.”
He’s got a point. And it hammers home exactly what you were just thinking. “Nothing, maybe,” you answer, squeezing his robe a little longer.
Fuck, you really are this deprived. This lonely. Is bedding a dangerous man—this dangerous man—really better than being alone right now? A mental reset is outstandingly in order throughout the coming abysmal months.
You finish your weak explanation, hoping it’s enough to convince him,
“But it’s helping.”
Yoongi lifts his head to watch your eyes. And you observe how dark his are in return. How cold.
But yet.. Why do you also see…?
With a slight huff, you tack on, “And you aren’t so annoying to talk to right now.”
There it is. That spark you’ve seen before in dusty, tinkering streets. “Don’t push your luck.”
“I might.”
He exhales, shifting himself into a sitting position and facing the door. “The thing about grey zones.. No affiliation, no rules. You can be anyone here.”
When you lift your upper body to sit, you watch his side profile as you repeat, “Anyone?”
Yoongi turns to look at your lips.
You know there’s a question you want to ask. But for some reason, it’s difficult to say.
But eventually, you can’t help it. Because you’re intrigued. You’re haunted. And you really, really need this.
“Then who do you want me to be.”
He lets out a cross between a scoff and a laugh. Looking into your eyes, he asks in disbelief, “You?”
“I’m pretty good at pretending.”
“Sure you are.” He gives you another small grin before resting forearms on his knees. “But you don’t want my answer to that.”
Swallowing is proving too difficult. What the hell does he mean by that? Is it one big bluff or a real opinion? “You’re just being a pussy.”
All you get is the side of his cheek rising high.
Yeah. He’s not gonna tell you a damn thing.
“Forget about me then. Who are you right now?” You wait as his expression falls back to earth. “Agust? Or Yoongi?”
When you end with silence, you’re met with an approaching shadowed visage. And even in this moment, you sense static in the air, both of you poised and locked in a dangerous, thrilling dance.
“You tell me.”
Your breath cuts as he slips a finger inside your robe, and you dare not breathe when he pulls—slow, unhurried, intoxicating.
You’ve never felt quite like this.
Are you supposed to do something, too? Is there something that usually happens here? Your experience isn’t zero but it is clearly leagues below where it should be.
Before you can blink a third time, your garment is ever, ever so slightly off your shoulder.
And you haven’t uttered a damn thing.
So he keeps going, sliding it lower, and lower, until he reveals a part of you that you didn’t mean to reveal so suddenly before.
This time, it’s deliberate. And that makes it terrifying.
This is the point of no return. The slope of your chest barely keeps your robe from dipping any farther. It’s happening, and life between you will never be the same when it’s over.
And yet.
Your nerves speak up at the worst time.
“Get me a drink,” you whisper, “Then maybe I will.”
Yoongi flicks up an eyebrow before obliging, and you silently mourn the loss of his heated touch.
He walks over to pour you something neat, taking his time bringing both glasses to the bed. When you sit up properly, you habitually adjust your robe, scoffing at his hum.
“Thanks,” you whisper, taking the glass and smelling the piercing aroma. “Maybe this is what I needed all along.”
“You ever had sex before?”
The question is so sudden and blunt that you cough up a burning sip. “Ow, fuck..” Wincing, you wipe your mouth before breathing in scratchy inhales. “If you must know, I have.”
“Maybe you are good at pretending then,” Yoongi drawls. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“Don’t get me wrong. This situation is new to me.”
His brow raises are definitely talking a lot for him.
“I’ve just never.. I dunno. Never had just one night.” Taking a more cautious sip, you continue. “Much less with someone like you.”
“Like me?”
“With a.. You know.” You fiddle with your glass. “A customer.”
When you hear his reaction, you stare at his raised cheek, stomach fluttering when he sighs downward,
“You can’t just say shit like that.”
“I can say whatever I want,” you counter. “Especially since I…”
You don’t wanna finish that. It helps that Yoongi doesn’t look your way still, taking a sip of his whisky instead. His locks swing forward as he leans, and you almost reach out to feel them. Maybe you’ll get to very soon. When you finally get over this final hurdle of outright shyness.
Why are you so timid right now? Why can’t you just tell him what you very obviously came in here for and get on with it? You’ve been decisive as fuck the rest of today, so what’s got your tongue pressed this time? Is it really your abysmal level of experience?
Or is it because you’re gravitating to more sides of him with each passing second?
“Since you what.”
“Since I don’t like you,” you snip.
Yoongi flashes teeth in amusement. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh, shut up.” You take another drink, feeling the burn down your throat. “I don’t have to if it’s true.”
Both of you keep drinking in silence after that. Which makes things a weird mix of calm and awkward, considering what your original mission was.
Going over the events of today, it’s a wonder why you aren’t crashing into a dreamless sleep. You’ve been up and having the most exhausting day ever, and yet, you can’t imagine shutting your eyes.
Think of something else to talk about. Anything. Any topic you could possibly hold a conversation with Yoongi over.
What did he respond to before? No small talk, since the plantains thing from months ago was a bust. And when you conversed over ramyeon it was more of him angering you on purpose—wait a minute.
There was something you never circled back to.
And as soon as you ask him about it, he appears impressed you remembered,
“Were you bluffing when you said you knew what I was shopping for?”
“No,” he responds immediately. “And I know I’m right.”
“Prove it.”
Mouth curved at an annoying angle, Yoongi shoots you a look before placing his drink down, getting up to walk to a tall armoire.
Your eyes follow his every movement, even the way his ass moves under that damned robe. But soon, your jaw goes slack not because of his assets.
But because the motherfucker was right on the money.
How the… How the fuck did Yoongi know?
In front of your face lies exactly what you were searching for. Sleek. Minimal. Lightweight and visibly balanced. You don’t even want to keep shopping around because this is the only one you want.
How did he know you were shopping for daggers based on one single line of questioning?
“I wasn’t gonna show you until you asked,” he divulges. “Honestly, I was hoping you’d forget. This one was hard as fuck to track down.”
Eyes flicking up to his, you ask in wonder, “Can I…?”
He lifts it slightly, signaling that you can indeed hold it yourself.
And it’s perfect.
“Wow,” you breathe out, feeling along its edges and hilt. It’s all one continuous line, with metal so black and matted that you almost moan. “I don’t have much on me, but.. I’ll give you whatever you want for this.”
“Keep it.”
What?
“It’s yours.”
There’s no way he’s just gonna gift this to you. It’s perfectly crafted in material you can’t even find in Crane. And they have almost every class of ore in existence.
Who even is this man?
“Yoongi, this is…” You shake your head while extending it back. “I can’t just take this.”
“You can.” He fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist. “I did.”
Oh. Charming. The weapon you’re being gifted is stolen goods. “Well, in that case, I really can’t accept it.”
But goddamn, this is more than perfect. You can’t even pluck one finger off the handle. And you can’t change the fact that it was already taken, right? Right?
“At least…” Scowling at your own crumbling morals, you mumble, “Not without good reason.”
He looks at you over his shoulder. “Do I need a reason?”
“No,” you reply. “But I’d like one.”
Yoongi sighs long before moving his fingers. “I lied to you back there in the lobby.” Looking up at a clock instead of you, he works his jaw. “But this time, it really is just that.”
“You expect me to believe you?”
Fuck, the veins in his hands are so prominent when he laces them together. “No. But it’s better than those chopsticks you’re saving in the bathroom.”
Oh. So he saw those, too.
“Thank you,” is what you wave in white. Because that’s exactly how you feel and this one gesture does excuse some of his faults. Maybe. Or your standards have plummeted to the gutters. “I, umm. I usually keep one for self-defence. Just in case.”
Turning it over and back again, you marvel at its light but solid weight. “But I lost mine in the last rough raid before they suddenly stopped.”
“Don’t sweat it.”
“K.” Placing it on the closest nightstand, you go back to holding your glass between your hands. “One day I’ll pay you back somehow.”
Yoongi shoots that down on sight. “No need.”
“But I want to.”
He glares before picking up his alcohol. “Anyone that owes me shit gets treated a lot different.” The drink rests in his hand like a liquid gem. “So just accept it as a gift, doll.”
You’d laugh if you knew he was kidding. But you know he’s dead serious, so you only nod.
It’s quiet again as you both retreat into your minds.
Yoongi has the mental fortitude of a fortress it seems. Because he really is set on waiting until you tell him what you woke him up for, and it’s been awhile since this all started.
But being in his presence while the night is quiet is somewhat comforting. You’re finding it easy to think about other things now, especially after he gave you so much to mull over.
Like grey zones and how they came to be. It’s fascinating how you had no clue even though you should. Even though this whole conflict affected half the city.
Wanting to gain more insight, you blurt your curiosity, “How long ago were the grey zones fought over? Before everything was decided?”
“Years. Decades, at this point,” Yoongi answers, his gaze locked as you think about this timeline. “Most people don’t even bother knowing, though.”
“Why? This sounds like a big part of our history.”
“No one cares if a Crane kills a Dragon.” His tone shifts slightly. And you wouldn’t have caught it if not for his subtle sulk. “They only resent the blood they have to wipe from the street.”
Your lids lower all the same. Because that resonates deep within your chest, so much so that you feel your heart bend in its aching. “No one cares about us, either.”
When Yoongi catches your look, you give a sad excuse of a smile. “Being a vendor? Especially where I am? You quickly figure out how little you matter. You as a person, I mean.”
You slide fingers along the tiny rim of your glass, lost in the fibers of his rug more than anything else.
Maybe you’re just a loose fiber in the rug of this city. One that will pretend to run only to be swept back into the folds. “The only things that people remember are what you offer. Anything other than that isn’t worth their time.”
Lifting your chin, you save face. “Can’t say I won’t miss you.” May as well admit it all if you aren’t ever gonna see him again. “You were the only one that ever let me bother them.”
“You never bothered me.”
You look up to see him staring. Lip curled upward, you huff. “With all the looks you gave me? I find that hard to believe.”
Yoongi doesn’t laugh in return. “What would I gain from lying?”
Mm. That’s an interesting question. But the alcohol starts to talk for you as you have the balls to flirt. “People lie to get laid, for one.”
“Mm.” He takes a measured sip of his glass, the last dredges of it swaying at the bottom. “Can’t say I’ve ever needed to.”
“Shocker,” you drawl, sipping to match his pace. And it’s after this drink that you loosely admit, “This is really good, by the way.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmhmm.” Lifting the glass to peer inside, you swirl it around before divulging a past you don’t talk about—ever. But what are rules of conversation when you want to stall? “My uncle got me into whisky a long time ago. But fruit stands don’t pay for top shelf alcohol.”
“Where’s he at now?”
“Uhh.” You look away. “Gone.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
He gets up, and you watch in silence as he makes his way to the sideboard. Stuff shifts around before he appears to pour another glass. And he stays there for a bit, black robe blending into all the dark decor.
“Yoongi?”
He turns.
“Can you keep talking?” You keep your drink steady between your robed legs. Buzzed and vulnerable, you offer an explanation, “Turns out there’s a lot I wanna forget right now.”
Like endings. And future endless days without your most frustrating, most dangerous, most favorite customer.
Yoongi pauses before walking back to the bed. When his thighs settle next to yours, he asks without much heart, “What do you wanna know.”
“You.”
His jaw shifts, and you feel a slight tug in your chest.
Was that too forward? Probably. But you’ll take what you can get, like a last meal chosen to hit every one of your desires. “Anything you wanna tell me, of course.”
Yoongi remains quiet. Which isn’t unexpected but still a little letdown.
“Not much to tell.”
Ah. Just more lies then. Maybe you should stick to the original plan. “Nothing at all?”
He looks at you, planting a hand on the bed to lean a little closer. “Nothing you’d wanna hear.”
You shift between his eyes. Wondering if it’s better not knowing or if you really do wanna give in.
Perhaps his eyes will speak for him instead. Glowing dark. Hints of ember and smoke. Years and years squeezed into those irises.
“What if I do,” you quietly question, catching the light on his alcohol-tainted lips.
Reaching out, you boldly place a thumb over one side, slowly brushing off excess liquid and marveling at how soft he is there. Tender, just like his name. “What if I don’t care.”
Yoongi waits for a moment before holding your wrist, the atmosphere trembling and buzzing around your shoulders. Oxygen depletes as he leans in close, his beautiful features almost touching yours.
You feel something locking into place. Something beautiful and terrifying. And it holds you down as you feel his hair, his warmth, his—
A noise blares into the room before you can feel yourself rushing upward, your body reacting on survival instinct alone. Glasses spill onto the rug and you don’t know what’s happening but lack of sleep lack of comfort lack of everything has you ready for—
Time stops.
Sounds muffle.
And your eyes flash wide as you see the tip of your blade pointed straight at Yoongi’s side.
Just as he’s poised with a gun pointed towards the door.
It’s a phone ringing.
A fucking. Telephone.
What have you done?
As Yoongi slowly shifts his gaze to your outstretched hand, you tremble in severe regret. Regret that you pulled this on him with the very weapon he gave you. Regret that he knows all there is to know about how you still feel about him.
But you didn’t mean to… You didn’t even think. And you abhor how you directed your fear at the one person that kept you alive. The one person you fucking saved.
When Yoongi lowers his gun, he doesn’t acknowledge the guilt on your face. But as he walks away to grab his device, his gaze flicks back to you before he answers across the room.
Shit.
You fucked up you fucked up you fucked up.
You weren’t lying when you said you wouldn’t care. You really weren’t. But who knows what Yoongi will think of you after that shock of a face off.
Coming into his room was most definitely a mistake. Now you can’t wrangle your emotions for shit, head pounding with feelings and outcomes and adrenaline to the brim.
Yoongi’s close to the wide bathroom stairs, so you can’t hear what’s being said. He does keep looking at you, though, which keeps your fingers pressed against a hilt.
Are you in danger? Will Yoongi not want anything to do with you anymore? Is it alarming that you can’t decide which one is worse?
The call doesn’t last long.
And as soon as he hangs up, you’re sputtering like a broken fountain, dagger still wielded as he stalks forward—phone clunking to the ground. “Who was that.”
“No one.”
“What’s gonna happen to me.”
“Nothing.”
Fuck. You really did fuck everything up. Your brain is so battered that you’re gonna be skittish and paranoid for a long, long time. “Yoongi, I’m so—I didn’t mean to—It just happened—”
Forget it. It’s over. Your last interaction will haunt you forever and the only way you’ll experience what could’ve happened between you will be in your wildest darkest sweetest illest—
Burns flare at your eyes when Yoongi’s chest meets the quivering tip of your blade.
“Stop,” you wince out, a damning tear pinging to your feet. “Just stop.”
He starts to walk forward, which alarms you enough to step back because what the fuck is he doing! Why can’t your arms move? Why can’t you lower the fucking dagger?
“I can’t,” you croak. “I can’t move.”
You’ve been firing on all fronts the whole day. Even in your dreams, you’re in survival mode. You can’t unlock your arms because they fight for the rest of you. Your legs propel you when the rest of you wants to give up.
But that still doesn’t stop your heart from aching. It burns, it burns, it burns.
When Yoongi grips your wrist, you choke on a sob. When he calls you smart, you squeeze your eyes shut in shame. And when he whispers to drop the fucking blade or he’ll do it for you, you do so after a maddening pause.
It clunks to the ground when a gun does, and you’re suddenly spun until the backs of your knees hit something solid.
Immediately, you’re thrust back onto dark sheets again, tears now rolling into your ears as you instinctively let Yoongi smother you whole.
His hand slides to your inner thigh, and your mind reels when you start feeling a hardness on your stomach. Breath whooshes out of your mouth before you're covered in silk and muscle, and pleasure bursts from where he quickly devours your neck fuck.
Hands are quick to untie your robe as fire stokes your throat.
“I won’t ask again,” he vows with a voice that rumbles. “Tell me what you fuckin’ want.”
“Yoongi—”
“Say it and it’s yours.”
“Make me forget,” you shove through your teeth. “Just make me fucking forget.”
“How.”
Fuck lack of experience. Fuck being shy. You aren’t wasting another damn second and your emotions need all the release they can get. Loose lips, loose tongue, looser inhibitions.
The monster inside of you yanks at its chain, claws and claws at its confines screaming at you to give in. You need this. You want this, especially if Yoongi himself is gonna give it so willingly.
Just say it. Just say it.
“If this really is the last time I’ll see you…”
Yoongi stills as your eyes lock unblinking.
Tell him. Four words.
“Fuck me like it.”
A proverbial chain snaps as Yoongi dives into your neck, ravishing you and sucking hard on your vein. When you yelp, your clenched legs seem to encourage, and he thrusts forward to launch you up the bed with a purpose. With intention.
All to let you know what you just got yourself into.
His fingers light little fires along your skin, burning everything in their paths up your arms, your sides, squeezing into your imperfections and latching down. His lips set your being ablaze as he keeps feasting, causing your breaths to get shorter, and shorter, and shorter.
“So sensitive..”
When you feel the warm swipe of a tongue, your eyes scrunch shut as you shudder. Which makes the whole thing worse for you when Yoongi chuckles dark in return.
“I don’t think you’re ready for this.”
“Shut up,” you huff out, grasping for his robe and raking at his sleeves. “Of course I am—Fuck.”
His thumb rolls across your exposed nipple, pinching it to make you arch right up into his chest. “You sure?”
When the hell did he even open your robe? How did he do that so quick without you knowing?
You bite down on your lip to keep from screaming, nodding in determination while your brows almost kiss.
Watching your expression, Yoongi pinches again, biting his own lip while slowly spreading that shit grin. Your moan comes out more like a muted hum, which seems to displease.
“Uh uh,” he orders. “You’re gonna be loud for me.”
“But what if someone—”
“They won’t.”
He continues in his control, sliding a hand under your thigh to hitch it up before shoving it to the side.
And you know where he’s going. But it still shocks you all the same when his fingers make contact with your slick.
Your very, very wet slick.
Many, many things will haunt you for life. Your experiences. Your choices.
But right now? The only thing that will follow you to your grave is this distinct, biting, staccato batch of laughter. “You shouldn’t’ve ever come in here.”
Breath ragged, you watch as Yoongi concentrates, exploring your cunt with his long digits and hitting every nerve with perfection. When you rub against him, he growls, lifting shiny fingers to insert right into his mouth.
Sucking.
Licking.
And your eyes mirror his at once—as black and pulsing as fallen stars.
He swoops down at the same moment you tug on his clothing, his mouth latching onto the side of your neck he hasn’t ravaged. Impatient, his hand yanks the bottom of your robe to the side, fully exposing your legs and leaking folds while you grapple with your own obstacles.
It’s messy. It’s jilted. It’s exactly what you want.
As soon as you find the slit in his robe, you take a brave leap and reach for his cock, not knowing what you’re gonna find but having a vague idea based on his—
Oh. What.
Fuck, he’s gonna split you in two.
You’ve held one before. You know what they feel like. But this cannot be possible and you’re already mentally preparing yourself for your breaking point.
“You good?”
You snap your head right up, realizing how stunned you must be if he’s asking. “I… You’re fucking huge.”
Yoongi doesn’t react, but that somehow makes it more attractive. Like he knows. And he doesn’t deny a thing. “That a problem?”
“I mean… I think I’ve lived a good enough life.”
To your surprise, the man above breaks completely as you keep blabbering, shoulders shaking alongside those stupid dimples. Those beautiful, elusive dimples. Too bad this is the last time you’ll ever see them. “Did what I wanted.. Not everything, but most of my list.”
Yoongi’s still chuckling. And for a brief moment, you’re brought back to the days he was just a patron. Back to when you would think about him before bed, delighted to see him stop by.
This is him. This is Yoongi with you now.
Where was he this whole time? Was he really waiting until you answered him for real?
You went so far into your head that you missed the change in position. So it makes you jump like hell when you realize where his teal mop of hair resides. “Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?”
Between your thighs, Yoongi lifts a brow, locking your legs with tough arms before you can even move.
“Yoongi, you don’t have to—oh, fuck!”
The first contact of his tongue on your folds makes your eyes burst, your legs effectively being pinned down in their tensing. Jolts of lust spiral from your core as he licks, sucks, twirls around your clit like it’s second nature, and you feel yourself welcoming his every thrust.
This is happening. This is happening? You’ve never done this before, not that you’ll admit it. Whatever Yoongi’s doing is completely new territory for you and you don’t ever think you’ll leave. Permanent residence. No other land to discover.
Whines echoes throughout the room before you slap a hand over your mouth. Because the whole world will hear his name if you don’t. Especially when he adds fingers and curls them just right what the fuck!
He makes you forget. And forget. And forget. You even forget your own name. Only his. Saying it into your palm over and over and clawing his sheets with the other.
A low growl rumbles between your legs before you hear him purr, “Just like I fucking thought.”
What’d he say? He didn’t say that. You’re hearing things, you’re sure of it. There’s absolutely no way Yoongi’s imagined anything about you, much less what you taste like.
And the words keep coming as he whispers how tight you feel. How hot. How perfect you’re gonna fit him.
While all you can utter in return is gibberish mixed with the syllables of his name.
Pleasure rolls in waves as he learns every inch of your cunt, fingers drenched in your slick and the curves of his cheeks lathered in your scent. When he reaches beneath you to grope your ass, he gives a rough squeeze.
“Move your fucking hand.”
Your eyes fling wide.
“I wanna hear you.”
“No, I’m—there could be people—”
He clambers over you, robe wide open and revealing a body that rips your soul clean out. When he seizes your palm to shove it to the side, another monster starts to wake within your chest.
And this one takes treacherous pleasure in those slitted eyes.
“You’re gonna scream for me.”
“Or else what.”
The dark rumble. The rolling thunder.
Your other monster is starting to match his glint. “You don’t wanna do that with me, doll.”
“Do what?” you ask with flitting eyes.
When all you get is a sharp smirk in return, your stomach flips in desire and excitement. So when he slaps the side of your breast, you hum high with a delighted flinch.
“Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”
Yes. This is what you came in here for. Your shyness will have to be comfortable with the unknown, but it’s also helping seeing Yoongi much more relaxed.
Like a normal person.
Especially when he leans over to open his bedside drawer, hair swaying as he grabs for what you think are condoms.
Your hunch is right when he rights himself again, teeth nicking a wrapper before tearing it in one sweep. When you start to clench your legs together in response, he shoves them back open with a thigh, robe parting to show exactly what’s going to splice you in half.
You’ll gladly take his amusement at your jaw unhinging. Because what you see is heaven sent.
Yoongi says nothing as he wraps himself fully, and he continues to be silent as you whisper,
“I wanna see you.”
It doesn’t take long for him to understand. As his length presses against your core, he slips off his dark robe, letting it slide down equally dark sheets before pouring onto the floor.
You’re just as quiet as he situates himself above your beating heart. Which is for the best. Your thoughts are better left unsaid.
All you can do is grip his arm, sliding your hand up until you can finally, finally brush his hair with your own fingers. Exhaling when you discover how soft it feels. How comfort can be found in something as trivial as tendrils.
“This is helping, too,” you murmur to his lips, inhaling what you realize is your own scent.
When he cradles your chin, your breath cuts. “Things happen when you say what you want.”
“If only it was always that easy.”
“It is with me.”
Your heart skips twice before tripping on itself, and you instinctively curl your palm against his head. “Everyone around you must be so lucky.”
An eyebrow lifts before he huffs. “Not talking about just anyone, love.”
…Huh?
What does he mean by that because shit you’re getting tugged forward he’s so strong—
“Now, if you’re gonna be difficult,” Yoongi warns. “Let’s give you enough time to reconsider.”
Your thighs widen as he positions himself at your entrance, cockhead rubbing along your folds as you tense.
“Uh uh.” He hums. “This is what you want, yeah?”
“It’s been awhile,” you spat, rolling your eyes when he shoots you a knowing look. “Just… give me a second.”
Obliging, Yoongi starts slow, making your head roll into the pillow as you accommodate his girth. Holy fuck, he’s big. But he’s sliding in easy after his little feast down there, which you piece together as one big prep for the main course.
“Fuck,” he groans, resisting every urge to plow straight into you. At least, from what you can decipher in his pinched features. If this feels amazing for you, you can’t even imagine what he must be feeling now. It only gives you butterflies knowing he’s following through with his word. “So fucking tight.”
“Not my fault you take up… so much space,” you grit through your teeth, neck straining as you blow air to the ceiling.
Fully sheathed, Yoongi rests inside until your muscles relax. And you only peel your eyes open when you start to slip into more pleasure than anything else.
Okay. You can do this. You can fit him surprisingly well—maybe too well—and you’re okay to keep going without restraint.
When you peer down your body, you expect him to look bored or indifferent. Like he’s wasting time dealing with you.
So it makes you shiver when Yoongi looks ready to ruin.
Toned arms flex at his sides, hands keeping your thighs held in their place. When a strand of vibrant hair falls, his chains spark in the moonlight streaming in from the windows. A dragon that waits. And waits.
You’re ready. Your demise will be your reward.
“I’m good,” you assure him. “You can move now—”
A second invisible chain snaps with a clink, and Yoongi launches into a thrust that has you seeing stars. You tumble through the dark as he thrusts again, mouth open with silent yells before you gnaw right into your lip.
“Relax for me,” he commands. “Just like that.”
Your cunt hugs him tight as you bounce even harder, his little grunts of praise making you mewl and whimper in bursts.
Fucking hell, this feels good.
You cannot wait to find out how it’ll feel when you piss him off.
His hands grip your hips, hosting you up onto his thighs as he thrusts hard into your cunt. Your body rocks in an arch, limp and at his mercy—which there is very little of. Enchanted, your lip tightens with the pull of your teeth, eyes squeezing shut as he feels so fucking good and hitting. Just. Right.
It all carries you so far gone that as soon as you feel a rush of air, the sting on your ass makes you react—piercing moan making both of you freeze.
And Yoongi’s eyes deepen a shade as he slowly grins. “There you go.”
“Don’t act like you—fuck!” His second swat has you grunting through your teeth, and his thrust forward at the same time he does it again has you whining. Monosyllabic, his name shoves out of your lungs, with each part more chipped than the next.
“What’s that, love?”
“Yoongi, please—”
“That’s right.” He clutches your sides so damn rough. “Say my fuckin’ name.”
And his pace pitches you into the sun, rocking so hard you won’t be surprised if the bed frame snaps in half. In thirds. In sevenths. Your legs go completely limp as he drives in, filling you and hitting a spot that pierces your eyes with stars and light and lust. Down down down you spiral, up up up you go. It’s only you and him now, with Yoongi plowing into you like his life ends come morning.
There’s nothing in the world that feels like this. Burdened by the dangerous weight of a man—this man—while feeling so light you could float? Absolutely nothing can compare.
Your body finally rests as he stops, but you get no breather as he flips you over with strong arms. Disoriented, you squeak as he tugs you backward, your ass rising in the air as your head is shoved into luxury cotton.
Sweet pain sears your ass again, and you gasp with wide eyes as you feel his cock at your entrance. “What are you—”
“Lift up. Higher.” He slides his dick up your folds. “You’re gonna like this.”
“You don’t speak for me—”
He thrusts into you as soon as you get accustomed to his length and size. And the place his thumb presses makes you scream into your pillow. His pillow. A hotel suite pillow that you’re biting to stay afloat.
How the fuck does that feel so good? How does all of this feel so good? His thumb on your asshole already has you melting, but the smacking of his sack against your clit makes you want to repent.
“So fucking—fuck.”
Drool strings from your mouth as your arms are tugged at the elbows, your whole upper body coming up for air. Precious precious air that’s cut off when Yoongi chokes you from behind.
“Yoo—!”
His strength slams your chest into the headboard, right at the edge of the bed before you feel the force of his palm hit the wall.
“What did I fucking say.”
“A lot.”
“I’m gonna hear you.”
“But—”
He shoves you flush against dark wood, your cheek smushing hard and your lips curling. “Let them hear you, too.”
You keep your moans muted until fingers are shoved down your throat. And you gargle until he yanks them out.
“That’s it. I know you can take it.”
“You’re easier…” Gritting your teeth in a smug grin, you taunt in a bold-faced lie, “Easier to take than I thought.”
His laughter is not lighthearted. “You’re still gonna go there, huh.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” you pout, eyes drooping from the euphoric shocks his thrusts provide. Sweat rolls down your arms as you slip on the wall, but it gives your chest a cool surface to rest. “Go where?”
Suddenly, the grinding stops. And your cunt feels abandoned as he pulls out so fast. When you think to spin around, he spanks your ass with a harsh, “Don’t move.”
Do you want to disobey? Yes. But you’re more curious than anything, so do as he says.
And your eyes light up when you realize what he comes back with.
“Now… I could use this,,” he warns, pressing a silky smooth robe tie along your neck. “Since you don’t wanna behave.”
“Do it,” you taunt, wishing like hell that he does. Yes, yes, yes. You’re drunk on lust and volcanic want and you will fight for nothing more. “You won’t.”
Your neck is rocked back before you feel him slap your ass. “Then stay still.”
And you obey as you feel your belt—or his, either one—wrap loosely around your column before it’s tied.
Gently, your chin is turned, and you’re surprised when you’re met with stern eyes. “Can you breathe.”
Blinking, you nod. “Yeah, I can.”
“Two taps if you’re out, understand?”
“Yes.”
A swift pat to your cheek. “What’d I say.”
“Two taps,” you repeat, figuring out fast that you’re liking this development a little too much. “If I’m out.”
Holy fuck the yank you feel is exhilarating, your body bending back as shock overcomes your senses.
Lidded eyes staring down at yours, he vows, “You better make them count or we never do this again.”
“I will, I will,” you rasp out, breath still coming to you fine albeit a little more harshly. “I promise.”
“Good girl.”
Wait, did he say again?
As he slips right back inside, you lose all passing trains of thought. Cunt filled while his fingers clog your mouth makes you traverse to another plane. Every part of you, at his mercy—
Then he yanks you backward and all that mercy burns in the flames of heaven. Flocks to the clouds of hell.
The belt is completely taut as you succumb to his thrusts. Hard. Fast. Rough thrusts make you cry out as he toys with you, gravelly hums tumbling down your back as you arch for him. All the sounds you make echo throughout the room, a symphony of mewls and moans as Yoongi controls your every move.
“Take it.”
“Hmm?”
“You want it,” he repeats. “So take it.”
Oh. Oh, he wants you to—Oh.
You start moving back and forth, doing exactly as he says. Taking what’s yours for the night and shamefully not forever.
But it turns out it’s not enough because he tugs.
“Like you fucking mean it.”
Fuck.
Groaning, you move with more intention, sliding up and down his cock and feeling full every time. It feels good having control, you muse, and imagining him watching your debauchery turns you on that much more.
Your thrusts turn to rough slams, friction running fast while you chase it with all your strength. The groans you hear sound primal, hissed taunts egging you on.
“Guess you can listen after all.”
“Fuck you.”
Another hard yank.
Your laugh only spurns him on.
Slaps to your ass, grabs to your breasts. Yoongi is worshipping every inch of you and you won’t even notice this until nights later when you’re alone. You’ll remember the way he squeezes just right, the way he fits so well, the places he hits with no hesitation nor guesswork. It’s pure experience strangling you with passion and you don’t even know how to embrace it all.
But then you start to feel it. Your breath tapering. It’s getting harder and harder to suck in air and you’re starting to see stars across your eyes.
When you reach an alarming point, you quickly slap his leg twice, oxygen gushing into your lungs right as he lets go.
You almost come on that exhilaration alone. Adrenaline pumps pumps pumps into your veins, eyes blowing black as he spins you around.
Hot, open mouth kisses pepper your burning throat, and you have the nerve to catapult him all the way back onto the bed.
Yoongi lets you top him with a laugh, and you immediately use this opportunity to pin him down with a chokehold. Wanting him to feel the same way you just did. Knowing deep in your soul that he wants it, too.
“Cute.”
“You asshole.”
Holy fuck, you can’t even recognize your own voice. It’s hoarse. It’s rugged.
It’s salacious.
He cocks a brow while peering down his nose. “You done?”
“What?” You blink. Slowly releasing his neck, you admit with a rasp, “No, that’s not what I.. I’m not done with you.”
Yoongi slides into a smirk, and you attempt to scoff with a burning throat.
You wanna tell him how good he is. How stupidly attentive he is. But all you settle for is something neutral. Safe. And maybe a little forward.
“Just felt like calling you that.”
Yoongi’s smile mellows into a line, and if you weren’t in such an evocative position, you would have thought it was genuine contemplation. But he slides hands up your thighs before slapping the side of your ass. “Get on.”
Fuck. You don’t really know how. At least, you don’t know how to do it without showing him you aren’t used to it.
So the confidence will keep getting faked. With a little help of your quick wit and tongue as you grab his length. “Didn’t hear a please.”
Yoongi huffs out amusement. “I don’t say that.”
His tip goes in fine. Fuck. Okay. You can do this you can do this. “Why am I not surprised—!”
He shoves you down as soon as you give him enough leeway, and you groan out as you catch yourself with hands on his chest.
“This is where you’re gonna live,” he says with confidence, laughing in condescension when you scowl. “Fuckin’ love it.”
He can’t say stuff like that.
You ride until you find a rhythm, rolling your body and finding the friction you want. It’s there for the taking. And he’s encouraging you with gravelly words and hums, with hands up your stomach and grasping your chest.
After a single swirl of your hips, he throws his bed back until his neck strains. “Fuck.”
So you take that cue, rotating between rides and swirls. When he tweaks and rolls thumbs around your nipples, you clench hard around him, and he does it until you moan to the ceiling.
A slap to your breast makes you whine, and you keep going before leaning forward, placing hands against his shoulders and bouncing your hips on his cock.
“—a fucking natural,” Yoongi praises, chuckling to himself as he toys with the silk streaming down your neck.
“Maybe I’ve just practiced.”
“Show me more then.”
Quickly, he tugs you down flush against him before grabbing your ass, slamming you down and pistoning up until you scream.
You start biting his shoulder to quell your shouts, which makes him moan loud enough to make you possessive. Wildly possessive. Before long, you feel yourself going limp on him, only for him, solely for his pleasure and yours.
“Just like that. There you go.”
You mewl into his skin as he grabs you, holding you down as he slams into you again and again and again. Drunk with power, you begin to mark his throat, devouring and feasting with reckless abandon.
Growling ragged, Yoongi flips your position and pins you face down, shoving up hard into your cunt before plowing. You fully lean into the yells now, saying his name and inching over the goddamn edge of the bed.
It’s there. Your release. It’s potent and it’s visceral and it’s everything you need need need—
“Yoongi, I’m close—”
He penetrates so far that you can taste him, and you come so harshly that you convulse. Squeezing like hell and quivering in a full body fold.
Holy shit, the screams. Is that you?
The sinister laughs of pride prove you right. “That’s my girl. Fucking scream.”
You can’t stop. All you know is extreme pleasure coursing through your veins, pulsing beautiful colors and making you arch like mad.
But you have more to handle. Yoongi prolongs your euphoria by yanking you back only to sink into you again, hands rubbing both nipples and tongue speaking deadly sins in your ear.
“You aren’t done,” he growls. “Lemme hear you again.”
“I can’t—”
“Liar.”
His name rips from your mouth as you surprise yourself, gushing around his length and squeezing in powerful pulses. Nothing exists. Nothing at all. Everything you know is a feeling, as vibrant and shimmering as the sun above your street back home.
All the heat you’ve ever felt coalesces along your skin, and the words whispered in your ear slide right down with your sweat. You aren’t quite sure what you hear. But judging by your preening, it has to be praise. Dirty, dirty, sinful praise.
When your limp weight is flipped, you allow your legs to be hoisted up with no resistance. Looking upward, you peel open lids to the equivalent of a king. A god. And your outright awe blocks your ears from catching what your dragon swears.
“—perfect,” he grits, inserting himself into your squelching folds. “Again.”
No fucking way you have more left in you. You’re already floating in the ether, buzzing in pleasure and sweat and ecstasy. If you come one more time you’ll be an empty shell.
“Earn it,” you boldly rasp out, grappling a bit of your spirit and reining it back one last time. “Take it, you bi—”
Your heart leaps up your throat as you’re pitched upward, groan serrated and high as you grin in triumph because it feels so fucking rewarding when he gives gives gives.
Letting everything go relaxes your folds, causing Yoongi to rock into you with pride and without resistance. His chain smacks against his pecs at the same pace as your bouncing chest, and you’re more than sure you’re gonna feel bruises on your legs where he sinks his claws.
Skin slapping skin. Mewls and gritted curses. Heady scent covers them all in a thick layer and you feel the light grow closer and closer, stronger this time than all the others before it. Why? Why do you know this one will pitch you over the edge for good?
Both of you may feel the same.
Because Yoongi suddenly shoves himself so far into you and presses his body flush against your shuddering shaking screaming form.
You pulse frantically around him, throat sore and ragged from your final cry as tears stream down your face. It feels so fucking gorgeous that it hurts, and you enter a plane so mystical it’s completely separate from your earthly vessel. The two of you become closer than one, and you feel Yoongi stutter in his groan before yanking out and ripping the condom off.
Hot spurts paint your skin—a sweaty, spent canvas that dips slow with your labored breaths. His own breathing is rough but not exhausted, and you chalk that up to the mountain of stamina and experience he has on you.
It’s done.
Thoroughly spent.
All the pent up emotions dissipate in a slow descent. The chaos of today finally lowers its head, your monsters making their ways back into their cages. Moonlight shines brighter. Fuller.
Illuminating a man in silver as he slowly heads into the bathroom.
Holy fuck. You just slept with a gangster. With a Dragon.
With Yoongi.
There’s no way you can forget this. No way you can see yourself moving past this moment, even years and lifetimes from now. It doesn’t matter if Yoongi never thinks about you again, because something transpired in this room that you’ll keep locked away in your soul forever.
As he brings back a towel to wipe his essence from your skin, you wonder.
Was it all worth it?
Or will this torture you in every dream you’ll ever have?
A palm digs into the mattress before you feel weight and jewelry. The silk around your throat is carefully undone, and lazy, heated lips descend on your neck once more.
Bliss.
Sighing, you utter his name much softer now, telling him please without knowing what for.
“What do you want,” he whispers.
“I don’t know,” you admit in a wisp.
Yoongi keeps worshipping your throat, and you mewl when he reaches to rub your breast in a slow squeeze. When you drag your hand down to grip his cock, he tenses with a gritty hum.
“Careful, love,” he rumbles. “There’s a lot more I can do with you.”
“Tell me.” Your breath starts shorting in anticipation. “Tell me everything.”
“Nah.” When he slides forward, the bare tip of him meets your cunt, causing you to flinch with a bitten lip. “You’re just gonna have to wonder. Day, after day, after day.”
Fuck this guy with the spite of a thousand lives. You’re the one holding his cock, so how the fuck is he still being this sure of himself?
“Put it in,” you blurt, earning his gaze of utter confusion.
“What?”
“Just for a second.” You stroke him, feeling slick velvet and wetness coating your fingers. “That’s the last thing I want.”
His eyes search yours, and for the first time tonight, he’s the one that looks hesitant. “You sure…?”
“We’ll never do this again,” you whisper. “And I know you want it, too.”
His gaze holds yours for a moment, searching your eyes for any sense of doubt.
When he finds none, Yoongi positions himself at your entrance, and you feel his knuckles brush your folds before he sinks in. Slowly, cautiously, extraordinarily.
And both of you groan so full.
“Fuck,” Yoongi glowers, teeth sharp as he grounds them hard. His arm veins strain, shifting all his ink in pretty ebbs and flows. All his stomach snaps taut, and you can’t look away from his sheer look of concentration and lust. “Fuck.”
“Feels so good,” you gasp, enjoying the way he’s slowly grinding against your walls. All the slick from your releases allows smooth strokes, and you already feel close for yet another time. An unbelievable amount of orgasm in such a short span. You’ll never reach this peak. Not with anyone else. “What the fuck, I’m close again—”
“Shit—”
It happens in a snap. But more of a mellowed, drawn-out river flow than a full waterfall. Your eyes slowly roll before closing, and your chest arches slow as you rock back and forth on his cock. The squeezes are harder. The pulses are fuller. You’re milking him for all he’s worth, like your cunt won’t let go until it’s pumped him dry.
Which makes Yoongi lose his absolute mind, hissing as he pulls out quick before spilling onto you all over again. Again?
Holy fuck, again?
As he groans up above, his eyes are wiped dark completely. Which makes you wonder how you can still see stars embedded inside.
Was it all worth it?
You’ve never been more achingly sure.
It’s a long shot to know if he feels the same. And an even longer one for that to truly be the case.
But it’s okay.
This is the first, the last, the only time you have. And it was more than you could’ve ever asked for.
As he falls into the sheets next to you, both of you exhale harsh, hearts pounding and pounding into the bed and to the ceiling.
You can’t even move. Every single limb is sore from base to tip, and the door looks so, so far away.
When you whisper his name, you get a little acknowledgement at your side. Gathering all the strength you have left, you whisper,
“I know this is when I’d be kicked out, but.. I can’t move.”
The small puff of air you get in return sounds like a yes. But you aren’t sure until Yoongi verbally gives you a real answer,
“S’ok.”
All you can do is hum, noticing with a sharp pang that you feel soft towel wipes before the smooth slide of sheets up your bare skin.
“Just stay on your side.”
Ah.
Well. At least you aren’t alone for a night.
“And you.. Stay on yours,” you murmur, darkness seeping into your peripherals.
“Mm.”
Yoongi can be as cold and heartless and calculating as he wants. But you know he’s more than what he shows.
Because with a second sharp hit to the chest, you also realize the side you’re on is the side he was on before. He’s not gonna make you move just to keep his preference.
Don’t think too much about it. Do not.
“I wish everything was different,” you whisper, drifting into a dreamless sea. “I don’t want to hate you...”
Your forehead is swept by a warm hand. You cannot lift your lids any longer, but your ears still hang onto their efforts.
And the last thing you hear before succumbing to the dark is a lighter flick and a fact. A cold, expected, damning fact.
“You’ll always hate me.”
When you wake, you’re greeted by the same room you fell asleep in.
Sunlight cuts through grey skies to shine every surface, and you breathe in a musky, comforting scent as you stretch your limbs.
Did last night really happen?
The soreness between your bare legs is more than enough to prove so.
Slowly turning, you whisper to Yoongi that you’re ready to go when he is.
Only to find out that you’re talking to no one.
Shit.
Shooting up, you start to panic. Maybe he’s in the living room already? Getting ready to call someone to bring you back home?
Glancing at the nightstand on his side, you don’t spot the dagger he gifted you, brain grappling with what that could possibly mean.
Your ribs crackle when you bite back emotion. It’s all over.
Shifting back to swing your feet onto cold fibers, you pause with swimming eyes.
Because the blade rests ready on your nightstand, propped on a set of plain clothes in the perfect position you would need it to be.
Teeth clenched and eyes burning, you swipe it before rushing out of bed, head pulsing and a dull ache between your legs. “Fuck..”
The shirt and pants you’re given don’t exactly fit, but you’ll take what you can get as you punch limbs through long sleeves and high pants.
Yoongi isn’t here.
You feel it in your whole being, and you have no fucking clue why it hurts.
But if he’s not here…
Who do you start to hear outside the door?
You freeze, lungs expanding as you hold multiple breaths.
It sounds like talking. But also a myriad of sounds?
Heading into the bathroom, you silently glide across the floor before swiping up the chopsticks. Because yes, you’re still gonna save them. For defence. For keepsakes. For a grave reminder.
Tucking them in a pocket, you ready your dagger under your garment, pressing it flat against your skin like you were trained to do.
Slipping out into the hallway, you hear the sounds clearer. Movement. Slides of furniture.
What the hell is going on?
You’re about to retreat back into the room when a man crosses in front of the hall.
And his hair is strikingly…
Orange?
As he catches you in his vision, he stops on a dime, hand outstretched in greeting. “Hello!”
Your step back makes him laugh. But you’re not laughing in the slightest as you question,
“Where’s.. Where’s Agust?”
“Gone.” The smile spreading makes you squint. “Need to see him?”
Your answer is immediate.
“I’d rather die.”
-
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⟶ what do we feel! | 🥢 join the taglist 🥢 | masterlist
a/n: alright before i say anything else: use the bathroom after sex, and especially after doing it unprotected!! i normally include it so this is a rare exception. but yes. please use the bathroom after, and practice safe sex always! a/n 2: WHO COULD THAT BE AT THE END THERE... ahahah but seriously, i for one am still swirly eyed just thinking about what's coming for these two.. they have no idea what's in store and i'm itching to get the next part done! a/n 3: if there's something you liked about this or a line/scene/whatever thing you enjoyed, feel free to let me know! feedback is never expected, but always appreciated. if the interest level is high, that adds motivation like no other. thank you all for reading! ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist ⇥ minted masterlist
#FINALLY FINALLY#5000 words in two days just wanted to say i love y'all#bts fic#bts imagines#bts reactions#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi smut#bts fanfic#bts smut#ryenwrites#minted#minted3#*ryenfictalk#*latest
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SEEKING VALIDATION FROM THE 3D IS SOOOOO LAST SEASON
HEAR YE! HEAR YE! ladies & gents, boys, gals & non-binary pals, i present to you another post brought by urs truly, @bbrattywise : this post was ib: this reddit story
anywho, intros done, let's cut straight to the chase, i think the reason why most ppl struggle with validating themselves from the imagination is we're scared its "lying to ourselves" & its "being delusional" *red buzzer to both answers because those are FAR from right!!*
1) the imagination is REAL, realer than this reality in a sense that whatever u persist in the imagination will quite litreally materialise into ur 3D (because thats litreally how the law of assumption works. You assume in ur imagination/4D and it materialises into the 3D, ya get me??) So no matter what, ur dominant thoughts/assumptions (a.k.a ur dominant thoughts u persisted in ur imagination whether thats being tiktok famous or having ur dream yacht) have no choice but the manifest into the 3D.
2) u not feeling happiness/any sort of positive emotions when visualising/imagining living in end w/ ur desire ≠ it being fake. Because obviously, u having something = u being quite used to it so ofc u are not gonna feel all giddy everytime u think about it. Thats totally normal!! that is the same principle for experiencing "negative emotions". You experiencing any sort of emotion doesn't change the fact that you ALREADY HAVE ur desires in ur imagination, so chillax buttercup! you are not doing anything 'wrong'.
3)"but how do i imagine having my desires?" pls dont overcomplicate yall, i swear its as easy to do as it is to say. Basically pick what u want & acknowledge it being in ur imagination. For example, whenever i be stressing about the 3D i be like "oh yea, i already have it in the imagination which is my true reality" and go about my day. Its as easy as thinking, think as u already have it (because that is quite litreally the case). As Neville Goddard says "creation is finished" which i love falling back to whenever i am in doubt because once you've imagined ur desire, thats it. Thats all you gotta do.
4) find ways to make ur imagination ur fun place. When i started utilising the imagination, i was like "huh, wdym i can litreally imagine WHATEVER?!!" lemme tell u, the imagination is limitless!! It's like playing sims 4 without the restrictions put in place by the developers. You make DA MF RULESSSSSS!! Wanna visualise owning a pet dragon?? the sky's the limit!! its so fun picking things & living out ur imagination knowing that it materialises into the 3D regardless <3
the law of assumption (though a mundane, universal law) is such a beautiful thing to be aware of so utilise this information. Don't dwell in old circumstance because you're scared of change. Trust me, take this leap of faith and really have fun with the law of assumption. After all, its practically a life cheatcode, might aswell use it, right?
divider creds:
#loa tumblr#shifting antis dni#shifting community#shifting blog#desired reality#loassblog#loa success#loa blog#law of assumption#bbrattywise#loa posts#dividers by nicodefresas
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”— Not For Real
WC: just abt 4.0k (trust it’s good even tho it’s short)
paring: pazzi ofc 🤗
warnings: ummm fluff, fake dating, rom com ass moments, paige lowkey being stupid
authors notes —> hi!! here is this. I sort of love it so I hope you do too! I wrote this quick so my apologies for how short it is but it’s very cutesy
THE PITCH
The coffee shop was nearly empty except for a few students buried in their laptops and an older couple sharing a newspaper by the window. Paige slid into the booth, her cheeks still pink from the cold outside, a takeout cup in one hand and skepticism written all over her face.
Azzi was already there, lounging like she owned the place, one leg crossed over the other and an unread book open in front of her like a decoy. Her sunglasses were perched unnecessarily on top of her head, her dark curls pulled back in a loose bun. She didn’t look frantic or upset — not the way her text had sounded— “Emergency. Meet me at Haven. Bring caffeine.”
“Alright,” Paige said, plunking her drink down. “I came. I caffeinated. What’s the ‘emergency’?”
Azzi gave her a look, one brow quirked, the corners of her mouth twitching like she was holding back a grin. Paige didn’t trust that expression. Azzi was rarely panicked. Calculated? Yes. Hyper-competitive? Definitely. But desperate?
Something was up.
“I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.”
Paige blinked. “You—what?”
Azzi didn’t flinch. “Just for a few weeks.”
Paige sat back, stunned. “This is a joke.”
“I’m completely serious.”
There was a silence between them, the kind that stretched and pulled like taffy. Paige stared, trying to figure out if Azzi had finally lost it.
Azzi’s tone was matter-of-fact. “My sister’s wedding is in three weeks. My parents are hosting half the extended family. And last year—because I was being cornered by four aunties asking why I was single—I might’ve said I was dating someone. Someone serious.”
“Oh my God.”
“I didn’t say it was you,” Azzi added quickly. “But now they want to meet her. And I panicked. And I may have shown them a photo from our joint charity game last summer. You looked good.”
“You—what?”
“I didn’t think they’d remember! But now they’re asking if you’re coming. And since I hate lying—”
“You’re literally lying right now,” Paige interrupted.
“—I figured it’s less lying if it’s you,” Azzi said, flashing a smile that could only be described as weaponized charm.
Paige stared at her like she’d grown another head.
She and Azzi had never been friends, not exactly. Their relationship existed in a gray area between reluctant allies and rivals. They knew each other’s weak spots. They pushed each other during games, sparred during interviews, and occasionally made nice at league events. There had always been tension there — a kind that hovered just on the edge of something else.
But this?
“Why me?” Paige asked finally.
Azzi didn’t answer immediately. She leaned forward, resting her forearms on the table. Her expression turned serious — sincere in a way that Paige rarely saw from her.
“Because you can handle it,” she said. “My family can be… intense. They’ll ask questions. They’ll pry. I need someone who’s smart, quick, and can improvise. You’re the only person I trust not to crack.”
Paige felt a strange flicker of pride at that, which she quickly smothered. She hated how Azzi’s approval always stirred something in her.
“I don’t know,” Paige said, eyeing her warily. “What’s in it for me?”
Azzi smiled, like she’d been expecting that.
“I’ll owe you. Big time. I’ll even owe you publicly, if you want. You name the favor. I’ll make it happen.”
Paige took a slow sip of her latte, weighing her options. She could walk away. Tell Azzi she was out of her mind and let her deal with the fallout.
But instead, she said, “I want your warm-up playlist.”
Azzi went still.
“…You’re not serious.”
“I am deadly serious,” Paige replied. “The one you play with the wireless earbuds. The one you turn off the second someone gets too close. You give me that playlist, and I’ll be your girlfriend.”
Azzi looked betrayed. “That’s like—sacred. That’s mine.”
Paige smirked. “Then maybe you should’ve asked someone else to fake date you.”
Azzi muttered something under her breath and stared down at her coffee like it had betrayed her too. Then she sighed, reached into her bag, and pulled out her phone.
She scrolled, tapped, and then held it out. “You’re the worst.”
“I try,” Paige said, gleefully accepting the transfer.
There was a strange beat of silence after that, as if both of them realized this was no longer hypothetical. Azzi sat back, a little too calm again.
“So,” Paige said cautiously, “how exactly does this work?”
Azzi raised a brow. “We ease into it. Coffee shops, casual photos, a couple of public run-ins. We soft-launch the relationship by next weekend. Then the wedding. A few smiling family photos. Some lingering looks. Maybe even a dance. Two weeks after that, we stage a quiet breakup. Friendly. Mutual. Devastatingly mature.”
Paige rolled her eyes. “You’ve thought this through.”
Azzi gave her a crooked grin. “You have no idea.”
THE ACT
Fake dating, Paige quickly realized, required a surprising amount of coordination.
There were rules, schedules, contingencies. Texts needed timestamps. Stories had to match. They spent an entire afternoon building a believable relationship history — from their “first coffee after a preseason scrimmage” to their “accidental slow dance at a teammate’s birthday party.” Paige had never spent so much time with Azzi without the sound of sneakers squeaking on hardwood in the background.
And somehow, being around her without the structure of basketball— just sitting close on a couch, laptops open, occasionally stealing each other’s fries— felt more intimate than anything else they’d ever done.
It was during brunch on the first Saturday of the plan that things started to feel…off.
Not bad off. Just different.
Their table was tucked into the corner of a sunlit café that Paige didn’t usually frequent— the kind of place with overpriced avocado toast and artisanal jam in tiny glass jars. She kept checking the window, half-expecting someone to recognize them.
Azzi, meanwhile, looked utterly unbothered.
She was dressed in a soft brown sweater that brought out the warm undertones in her skin, her hair loose for once, curls brushing her shoulders. She’d insisted on sitting next to Paige instead of across from her — “Couples sit side-by-side. Optics.” — and now, her knee kept brushing Paige’s beneath the table like it was nothing.
It was not nothing.
Paige was hyper-aware of every point of contact: the press of Azzi’s shoulder, the occasional light touch on her wrist when Azzi laughed at something she said. And then there was the moment— the one Paige didn’t know how to explain— when Azzi reached across the table and gently, casually, brushed a crumb from the corner of her mouth.
“Missed a spot,” she said, voice low, like it was just for her.
Paige stared, momentarily frozen. She barely managed a sarcastic “Thanks, Mom,” just to defuse the tension in her own chest.
Azzi only smirked.
Then— in full view of the table across from them— she reached down and laced her fingers through Paige’s.
Paige’s pulse jumped.
“What are you doing?” she hissed under her breath.
Azzi tilted her head. “Handholding. Basic public display. You want this to be convincing, right?”
“This is—” Paige trailed off, unable to find a word that didn’t sound like denial. Her fingers stayed tangled in Azzi’s for a beat longer than necessary before she forced herself to look away.
Convincing. Right. This was just for show.
But it felt like something else.
____
Later that evening, they found themselves scrolling through Instagram together on Azzi’s couch, reviewing what Azzi referred to as “launch content.” It had been Paige’s idea to soft-launch their relationship through stories and casual posts — enough to stir curiosity without a hard announcement. “Let the public fill in the blanks,” she’d said. “It’ll feel more real if people think they caught it happening.”
Azzi had been disturbingly into that idea.
“Okay,” Paige said, reviewing a photo Azzi had taken earlier — the two of them walking away from the café, arms looped together. It was slightly blurry, clearly taken from behind. “This one looks stolen. Paparazzi vibe.”
“Good,” Azzi said. “Tag it or leave it?”
Paige sighed. “Leave it. Keep them guessing.”
Azzi grinned, but her voice was quieter when she added, “You’re good at this.”
Paige didn’t look up. “At lying to the world?”
“At making it believable,” Azzi said. “Too believable, maybe.”
There was a silence between them.
Paige felt it stretch again — like the space between words you want to say but don’t know how to. The room was warm, too warm, and she suddenly became very aware of the fact that they were sitting closer than strictly necessary.
She risked a glance over.
Azzi was already looking at her.
Paige swallowed hard. “You’re kind of good at this, too.”
Azzi arched a brow. “Kind of?”
Paige shook her head, eyes flicking away.“Unfairly good.”
A smirk tugged at Azzi’s lips, but she didn’t press. Instead, she nudged Paige’s knee lightly with her own. “Don’t overthink it, Bueckers. Just follow my lead.”
That sentence echoed in Paige’s head for the rest of the night.
____
The first real test came the following weekend— a casual dinner with some of Azzi’s extended family visiting early for the wedding.
Paige had told herself she was prepared. She’d practiced their story, remembered names, even rehearsed a few go-to anecdotes. But nothing prepared her for the way Azzi introduced her:
“This is Paige,” Azzi had said, voice softening at the edges. “She’s the one I’ve been telling you about.”
It shouldn’t have hit Paige in the chest the way it did. But the pride in Azzi’s voice, the way she slipped an arm around her waist like it was second nature, it all felt too natural.
Too easy.
“You’re even prettier in person,” Azzi’s aunt said with a warm smile, making Paige blush hard enough to want to hide under the table.
“She is, isn’t she?” Azzi replied, grinning, and Paige gave her a warning glance that Azzi absolutely ignored.
The rest of the dinner passed in a blur of polite conversation, wine, and shared glances that lingered a little too long. At one point, someone brought up future plans — careers, cities, and timelines — and Paige heard herself say something about “we’re figuring things out,” and Azzi didn’t correct her.
She just nodded. Like it was true.
Like it could be.
That night, after the guests had gone and they were back on the couch, Paige kicked off her heels and flopped backward with a groan. “I deserve an Oscar.”
Azzi collapsed next to her, eyes half-lidded from wine and exhaustion. “They love you already.”
“That’s terrifying.”
“You were perfect,” Azzi said quietly, not teasing for once. “Natural.”
Paige turned her head to look at her. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” A pause. “Sometimes I forget we’re faking it.”
Paige’s breath caught.
For a moment, the room felt too still. The words hung between them like something fragile — something dangerous.
“Don’t,” Paige said, voice barely above a whisper.
“Don’t what?” Azzi asked.
“Don’t say stuff like that unless you mean it.”
Azzi looked at her. Really looked. Then — just as softly — said, “Maybe I do.”
Paige didn’t answer.
She didn’t move.
She just let the words sit there, tucked between them on the couch, daring her to pick a side.
THE SHIFT
Paige had faced playoff pressure before. She’d stood at the free throw line with a championship on the line, heard arenas scream her name, stared down defenders with everything at stake.
And still, nothing made her feel quite as unsteady as walking into Azzi’s childhood home.
The place was beautiful — all warm wood and framed memories, the scent of something sweet in the air — but it wasn’t the house itself that threw her.
It was the fact that everyone knew who she was.
“Oh my god, the girlfriend!”
“You’re even cuter than the photos!”
“I heard she plays just as well as Azzi — is that true?”
“Do you want to see baby pictures?!”
Azzi watched it all unfold with thinly veiled amusement, her arm a steady presence at Paige’s back. She was too calm. Too smooth. Like she’d always known Paige would say yes. Like she’d planned for this exact moment.
Paige leaned toward her as soon as they had a sliver of privacy in the hallway. “Your family’s intense.”
“I warned you,” Azzi said with a smirk, then added, “You’re handling it like a pro.”
“I’m dying inside.”
Azzi bumped her shoulder. “You look great while doing it.”
The rehearsal dinner was the first real blow.
Paige had worn a soft cream dress that Azzi couldn’t seem to stop staring at — not that she ever said anything outright, just a glance too long when Paige wasn’t looking, or a compliment murmured so low it felt like a secret.
They sat together at the head table, posing for casual couple photos, telling rehearsed stories about “how we met” and “our first date,” laughing too easily, leaning in like magnets.
But it was during the toasts— when the groom’s brother started talking about soulmates— that Paige glanced over and caught Azzi watching her.
Not with amusement. Not with performance.
But with something soft. Bare. Real.
It was the kind of look no one gives unless they mean it.
Paige looked away, heart thudding in her chest, guilt bubbling like carbonation in her ribs. This was fake. This was supposed to stay fake.
But suddenly, she didn’t know if Azzi had ever drawn the line. And worse — she didn’t know if she had either.
____
That night, in the guest room down the hall, Paige lay in bed staring at the ceiling, her mind racing.
She thought of how Azzi had casually brushed her hair over her shoulder earlier. Of the way she’d poured her wine without asking. Of how she’d reached for Paige’s hand in the dark when no one was watching.
This was the most dangerous part of the lie: the moments that didn’t serve the story. The things that weren’t for anyone else.
And then came the knock.
Soft. Hesitant.
She sat up. “Yeah?”
Azzi peeked through the door. She wasn’t in her dress anymore— just a pair of shorts and an old tee, her curls pulled back loosely, her expression unreadable. “You decent?”
“Depends on your definition,” Paige said, forcing a weak smile.
Azzi stepped in and leaned against the doorframe. “Couldn’t sleep.”
Paige watched her carefully. “Me either.”
There was a long pause.
Azzi broke it, quietly. “Can I tell you something?”
Paige nodded.
“I didn’t think this would get to me.” Azzi looked down, fiddling with a ring on her finger. “It was supposed to be simple. Clean. Controlled.”
“But it’s not.”
“No,” Azzi said. “It’s not.”
Paige felt her heart tug, just a little. “You’re not the only one.”
Azzi looked up at that— eyes locking onto hers, something raw flickering behind them. “When I look at you, Paige…” She stopped. Swallowed. “I forget we’re faking it.”
Paige didn’t breathe.
Didn’t blink.
She just sat there, frozen, every nerve in her body firing at once.
Azzi crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, close enough that Paige could see the tension in her shoulders. “You can tell me to stop. You can tell me it’s just a role. But I need you to know I’m not pretending anymore.”
Silence.
A long one.
Then, quietly— like a truth Paige had been holding in for days— she said, “I don’t want to pretend either.”
Azzi’s eyes searched hers. “You mean that?”
Paige nodded, voice shaking. “Yeah. I do.”
____
The next day was chaos. Wedding prep. Final fittings. Tears and champagne and frantic flower girls. But somehow, through it all, Paige and Azzi found pockets of stillness.
A touch on the back as they passed each other.
A whispered joke during a photo session.
A look— held too long— when no one else was looking.
By the time the dance floor opened and Azzi reached for her hand, Paige didn’t hesitate.
They danced slow. Intimate. Their arms wrapped around each other like second nature.
“Everyone’s watching,” Paige murmured, her cheek brushing Azzi’s.
Azzi’s hand tightened at her waist. “Let them.”
“I feel like we’re supposed to kiss or something.”
Azzi paused. “Do you want to?”
Paige pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. “Not because we’re supposed to. Only if it’s real.”
Azzi looked at her like she’d already made that choice.
And then, quietly, deliberately— she kissed her.
Soft at first. Like a question. Then with more certainty, like she already knew the answer.
When they pulled apart, Paige didn’t look away.
“This wasn’t part of the plan,” she whispered.
Azzi smiled. “Good.”
____
The kiss didn’t shatter anything.
It settled something. Quiet and unforced, it slipped between them like a puzzle piece finally falling into place. Not a performance, not a statement— just Paige and Azzi, wrapped in music and low light, eyes closed to the world and open only to each other.
And then, slowly, the moment passed.
They pulled apart, breath brushing between them, eyes locked. Paige blinked first.
Someone behind them cheered— not for them, for the newlyweds— and the real world came rushing back.
But nothing about them felt fake anymore.
They didn’t talk about the kiss right away.
Paige needed space to think. She slipped away from the reception after midnight, half-drunk on champagne and adrenaline, and found herself sitting on the venue’s back steps, heels dangling from her hand.
She was running her thumb over the lip of a glass when Azzi found her.
“You always disappear after the good parts,” Azzi said, voice soft as she stepped into the night.
Paige didn’t look over. “Wasn’t sure if it was a good part.”
Azzi sat beside her. Close, but not touching. “It was for me.”
That quiet admission settled in Paige’s chest like warmth in cold hands.
She exhaled. “I don’t know where the line is anymore.”
Azzi didn’t speak for a moment. Then, “I think it’s gone.”
Paige finally turned to look at her.
Azzi’s hair was wind-tousled, cheeks flushed from dancing. Her eyes, though, were steady. “This stopped being fake a while ago. We just didn’t want to be the first to say it.”
Paige bit her lip. “And now?”
“Now I want to know what it looks like when it’s not a performance.”
There was no crowd to play to here. No family. No cameras. Just moonlight, soft music from inside, and two people trying to find their footing.
“I’m scared it’s not different enough,” Paige admitted. “That it’ll feel the same, and somehow that’ll make it less real.”
Azzi reached for her hand. “Then we make it different.”
“How?”
“Let’s start with this.” Azzi’s voice was calm but certain. “Tomorrow— no stories. No setups. We go on a real date. Just you and me.”
“No pretending?”
“No pretending.”
Paige nodded slowly, almost like a dare to herself. “Okay.”
Azzi smiled. “Okay.”
____
They danced again before the night ended.
Not for show, not for pictures. Just the two of them, alone near the edge of the floor, slow-swaying to a song no one else was paying attention to. Azzi’s arms were loose around her waist, and Paige let her forehead rest against Azzi’s collarbone.
No eyes on them.
No script.
No lie.
Just a beginning — unspoken, but undeniably real.
THE RAIN
The wedding glow didn’t last.
Maybe it was the travel. Or the shift back to real life. Or the fact that what had started as a joke— a fake relationship to get through a weekend— had suddenly become something far too delicate to joke about.
Whatever it was, by the time they were back home, something between them had changed.
Paige pulled away first.
Not in a dramatic, obvious way. It was subtle— fewer texts, fewer “just because” calls, excuses about being tired, busy, overwhelmed. She showed up late to dinner one night and didn’t lean in when Azzi brushed her hand.
Azzi noticed every beat of it. Every flinch. Every pause.
But she didn’t push.
Not yet.
____
“You good?” Azzi asked one night, when they were sitting side by side on Paige’s couch, a game on the TV, untouched.
Paige didn’t look over. “I’m fine.”
“You’re lying.”
Paige let out a short breath. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“With me?”
“With any of this.”
Azzi paused. “You want out?”
“No. Yes.” Paige rubbed her face, eyes burning. “I don’t know.”
Azzi didn’t say anything.
Because what could she say, when Paige was already slipping through her fingers?
____
The next few days were worse.
Paige stopped answering. Not just texts — calls, too. She skipped their usual Sunday shootaround. She didn’t invite Azzi to the fundraiser dinner they’d planned to go to together. She didn’t say anything was wrong.
She just stopped showing up.
____
It was raining when Azzi finally found her.
Not a soft drizzle— a downpour, the kind that soaked through clothes in seconds, that made the whole world feel like it was breaking open.
Azzi didn’t care.
She stood outside Paige’s building, coat already heavy with rain, hair clinging to her face, and poundedon the buzzer until someone let her in.
She didn’t call first.
She didn’t text.
She just knocked on Paige’s door, hard, until it opened.
Paige stared at her, stunned. She was barefoot in a hoodie, face pale and tired, and for a moment, she didn’t say anything.
Azzi didn’t wait.
“You don’t get to ghost me,” she said, soaked and furious. “Not after all of that.”
Paige swallowed. “I wasn’t trying to—”
“No. You were. And I let you. Because I thought maybe you needed space, but now I’m standing here in a storm, and I’m not leaving until you say whatever it is you’re afraid to say.”
Paige’s voice cracked. “This isn’t going to work.”
Azzi blinked. “What?”
“This thing. Us.” Paige stepped back like she couldn’t bear her own words. “It was supposed to be fake. We were never meant to be real. It’s too much. It’s too fast. And I’m going to mess it up.”
Azzi took a step inside. “You’re not messing it up. You’re running from it.”
“I don’t know how to do this.”
“Yes, you do. You’re just scared.”
Paige’s eyes welled up, but she held her ground. “I’ve never had anything like this before, Azzi. Not with anyone. I don’t know what it looks like to let it be real.”
Azzi stood there, soaked to the skin, heart wide open. “You want to know what it looks like?”
Paige didn’t answer.
Azzi closed the space between them. “It looks like me, right now, standing here completely drenched, because I love you so much I couldn’t not come. It looks like two people terrified out of their minds choosing each other anyway.”
Paige froze.
Azzi’s voice dropped. “I love you.”
The silence that followed was deafening.
Then Paige stepped forward— one shaky, breathless step— and kissed her.
Hard. Desperate. Like a dam breaking.
And in the middle of it, she whispered, “I love you too.”
____
Later, they lay tangled on the couch, wrapped in towels and each other, the storm still whispering against the windows.
Neither of them spoke for a while. There was nothing to explain.
Because for the first time, nothing was pretend.
And neither of them was running.
#pazzi#paige x azzi#azzi fudd#paige bueckers#uconnwbb#pazzi fics#wlw fiction#uconn huskies#pazzi crumbs
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Hiiii bb🥺 can I pretty pls request rafe x bitchy!reader with the prompts “Gonna fuck you until the only word you remember is my name.” And “Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now.”. Maybe this is their first time together and she’s being all smug and he shows just what he’s capable of? Love you doll🩷
Hi, my love!! But ofc!! I went with Frat!Rafe for this one and reader is implied to be an alternative sorority girl. Enemies to lovers, flirty banter, face fucking, bondage, cum swallowing, fingering, overstimulation, daddy kink, choking, biting, breeding kink, unprotected sex. 18+!!!!
“We are never going to happen, Cameron, give it up.” You scoff as you look down at your black and red perfectly, pointed nails.
“I’m not gonna give up until you admit I’m right.” Rafe smirks as he moves in closer to you. There’s only a few inches between you and his large frame and your back is up against the wall. He tracked you down at yet another party and stopped you in the hall. Like a moth to flame, he always seems to find you. “I know you want me.”
“No, that’s just what you tell yourself so you can justify this obsession you have with me.” You glance up at him long enough to throw him a glare before returning your attention to your nails. You’re careful not to let him see your eyes for too long because then he’ll know he’s right. You do want him.
For some fucking reason. You’re pretty much the only girl in your sorority he hasn’t fucked around with and you take great pleasure in not being added to that list. “Go find Heather or something, I’m sure she’s just dying to hop back on your shrimp dick.”
“Oh my fucking god.” Rafe grits his teeth as he closes the distance between you, his face is so close you can feel his breath on your skin and smell his expensive cologne. But you still don’t give him the time of day and it drives him insane. You’re not wrong, he’s obsessed with you. And it pisses him the fuck off. He’s tried every angle with you, the only reason he even started fucking your soririty sisters was for your attention. He will take what he can get, even if it’s negative. “You’re always fuckin’ bringing other bitches into it, are you really that jealous, baby?”
“Ha!” You throw your head back with a laugh, meeting his eyes with an icy gaze that goes straight to his cock. You’re not like any of the other girls on this entire island. Your thick eyeliner, glossy dark, red lips, and your chunky shoes have him so down bad he doesn’t even want to admit it to himself. “You’re fucking delusional, Cameron. I couldn’t give a shit less who your fuck of the night is.”
“Yeah? I think you’re lying.” Rafe gives you that fuck boy smirk that you wish so badly didn’t secretly work on you and it makes you want to slap him. His arm comes up on the wall by your head, caging you in and further enveloping you in his scent. He leans down so his lips are brushing the shell of your ear and it makes your stomach tighten. “I think you want me to fuck you so bad that it pisses you off.”
“Oh my fucking god! Do you ever shut up?!” You groan and throw your head back before trying to duck under his arm but Rafe’s free hand finding your hip keeps you in place.
“Nah.” Rafe chuckles as he tongues the inside of his cheek, his eyes roaming your face like he’s wondering what to do with you. “But I can think of several ways to shut your bratty ass up right now.”
“I’d like to see you fucking try.” Rafe looks down at you like the cat that caught a mouse as he loops his arm around your waist and hauls you down the hall toward one of the open rooms. He ushers you inside before slamming the door and then he slams your back against the wood.
“You have no idea what you just fucking asked for, little mouse.” Rafe chuckles darkly as his hand comes up to grip onto your chin, forcing eye contact. You try to shake your face free but his grip is too strong. That doesn’t stop you from trying as you glare at him through your lashes. You’re not giving in that easily. “Quit fighting it, just admit you fuckin’ want me.”
“Fucking make me, Cameron.” You thrash around in his hold, not even really trying to break free, just holding onto your pride. Your sharp nails come up to claw his wrist and it only makes his grip on your face tighten.
“Oh, baby, I’m gonna have you fuckin’ begging for it.” The hand on your face laces into the back of your hair, using it as leverage to pull you to the middle of the room.
His free hand grips onto your throat and he pulls your face against his, mashing your lips together in a filthy kiss. You get lost in it for a moment but when his tongue forces its way into your mouth you clamp your teeth down on it. He hisses and pulls his head back, his eyes burning blue flames into yours as he looks down at you.
“I’m never going to beg for you. You stupid fucking asshole, you’re such a -” Your words are cut short when Rafe’s sneaker clad foot sweeps under your platform heels while he uses his grip on your head to manhandle you to your knees in front of him. You growl in the back of your throat and your fingers claw his wrists again. It only makes Rafe cock twitch.
“Maybe you aren’t a mouse after all, huh? You’re a feisty little kitty.” Rafe chuckles and grabs both of your wrists in one of his big hands, holding them tight in front of you. “And kitten’s need to be taught it’s not okay to scratch.”
“You’re a joke if you think you’re gonna be the one to tame me. All you frat boys are the same. Get your nut, and get out. Why do you think I haven’t fucked you already, dumb ass?!”
“You’re always calling me names, baby.” Rafe chuckles as he keeps your hands held in place and uses his free hand to undo his belt. You watch with wide eyes as he pulls it from the loops and when he brings it up to your wrists you hate that your pussy clenches at the thought of what he’s about to do. You half heartedly try to wiggle away as he loops the belt around your wrists, restraining you. “It’s funny cause after I’m done with you the only thing you’re going to remember is my name.”
“This is cute.” You snicker as you wiggle your wrists and shift on your knees, Rafe can’t take the chance of you getting up so he grips onto your hair again, ensuring you stay right where he wants you. “I really like this whole ‘daddy dom’ act you’re putting on, very convincing.”
“Didn’t I say I was done with your fuckin’ mouth?” Rafe uses his free hand to undo his button and zipper and you can’t help the way your eyes hone in on what he’s doing. You have to physically hold in a gasp at the sheer size of his cock when he pulls it out and strokes himself a few times.
“Now why don’t you be a good little slut and make it useful?” He tilts your head back with his grip on your hair and taps the head of his cock on your glossy lips. Some of the red stain streaks onto his tip and the sight drives him insane. “Gonna make such a fuckin’ mess of you. Open your bratty mouth.”
“Open my mouth? Okay, I’ll open my mouth to tell you that you’re-” Your sentence is cut short by Rafe’s cock slipping past your lips. He pushes his shaft all the way to the back of your throat, making you gag on it. He pulls back far enough for you to take a breath of air but as soon as you start to talk again he’s back down your throat.
“Now be a good little girl and fuckin’ suck it.” The horniness in your body is starting to overpower your will to rebel against what it wants. Rafe’s hand finds the back of your head so he can push you all the way down on his cock with your nose flush against his pelvis. It makes you gag and drool and he holds you there until you swallow around him. He pulls out to the tip and you swirl your tongue around in, making his eyes roll back with a moan. You instantly become addicted to the sound, wanting to hear more. You want to hear what he sounds like when he cumes and you’re so tired of pretending you don’t. He thrusts his hips forwards and starts to fuck your throat roughly. You wrap your lips tightly around him, gliding your tongue along his shaft as he uses your mouth. “Yeah, that’s what I’m tallkin’ about baby, knew there was a cock hungry slut underneath that bratty attitude.”
“Gonna cum down this pretty little throat and then I’m going to use that pussy as I please, yeah? Nod if you understand.” You nod the best you can with him brutally fucking your throat and it doesn’t take much more than that to have him stilling in your mouth. Rafe’s cum spills down your throat as he throws his head back and moans. “Fuck. Fuckin’ swallow it.”
You oblige him, swallowing every drop he gives you. Rafe looks down at you devilishly as he pulls you from his cock. He’s already half hard at the sight of you on your knees in front of him like this. Your lipgloss is smeared around your mouth and that meticulously done eyeliner is streaming down your cheeks. It doesn’t hurt that your hands are bound either.
“What are you staring at, weirdo?” You snark at him and Rafe grips onto your arms underneath your shoulders so he can toss you onto the bed.
“You still got that fuckin’ attitude?” Rafe smirks as he grabs onto your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the bed, making your little skirt ride up and reveal your black thong. He runs his big hands down your thighs so he can push your skirt up further, making it pool around your hips. The wet spot that’s visible even in black makes him smirk. “What’s it gonna take to get you to stop being a brat? You need it fucked out of you? The dick you’ve been getting around here isn’t satisfying you?”
“Will you just stop being annoying and fuck me already?” You roll your eyes as you wiggle beneath him, your hands still being bound limiting your movements.
“Nah, cause’ I don’t want to just fuck you, princess. I want you to fuckin’ submit to me. Beg for it.”
“Seriously?” You whine and throw your head back but it just earns you a grip on your jaw, forcing you to keep eye contact.
“Look at me when I’m fuckin’ talking to you.” Rafe’s voice holds a level of authority that makes your head spin. You really didn’t think he had all of this in him and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced in your life. His free hand comes up to push your panties to the side so he can run his fingers through your dripping slit. “I know you want it baby, you’re so wet f’me.”
“Yeah, because I want you to fuck me, okay?!” You huff out as you angle your hips to try and chase his fingers that he keeps just barely dipping into your entrance before denying you the pleasure.
“You’re gonna have to do better than that, princess.” Rafe licks his lips as his fingers circle your clit agonizingly slow, making your clit pulse. “Beg.”
“Please.” You whimper out, so quietly that if Rafe wasn’t inches from your face he wouldn’t have heard it. He smirks at you and you feel his fingers circle your entrance again but this time he thrusts two knuckle-deep inside of you. He pumps them in and out of you while curling his fingers against your walls and it makes your back arch.
“Gonna make you cum on my fingers till you’re begging for my fuckin’ cock.” Rafe’s thumb finds your clit and presses hard circles on it in time with his thrusts and your walls clench around him. He roughly grabs the hem of your little lace top and pushes it over your tits, moaning at the sight of them. He leans down and takes one into his mouth and it has you tumbling into euphoria embarrassingly fast.
“Oh, fuck! I’m fucking cumming, oh my god.” You moan loudly as Rafe continues to fuck you with his fingers. He fucks you through it but just as you’re starting to come down from that high he brings you back to the top again. “Oh shit!”
“Yeah that’s right, slut. Gimme another one.” Rafe’s fingers move impossibly faster and he slides a third one inside you while the heel of his palm grinds against your clit as you come undone for him again. His fingers slow and your chest heaves as you come down from your second orgasm. You think he’s going to give you a break and finally fuck you. But his fingers start to pick up the pace again and you know you thought wrong. “One more.”
“I can’t, Rafe!” You writhe beneath him but he uses a hand to pin your hip to the bed. “Please just fuck me!”
“Yeah, that’s right, slut. Say my fuckin’ name. Say it while you cum on my fingers again.” You practically scream his name as you gush around his fingers and your entire body wracks with pleasure. “Good fuckin’ girl.”
Rafe pulls his fingers from you and brings them to his lips with a groan. He grabs onto the string of your panties and rips them down your legs before positioning himself between your legs with his cock in his hand. He taps his head against your over sensitive clit and it makes you gasp.
“Beg for my cock again, princess. Wanna hear it.” Rafe licks his plush bottom lip as he looks down at you through half lidded eyes. “Don’t even think about giving me an attitude either. I’ll jerk off and cum all over your pretty little skirt and leave you with nothing.”
“Please, Rafe, please fuck me? I wanna feel you buried deep inside me please -“ Rafe lines up with your entrance before pushing himself balls deep into your pussy in one hard thrust. “Oh, shiiiiit.”
“God fuckin’ damn.” Rafe moans as he pulls out of you to the tip before slamming back into you and fucking into you like a man possessed. “You’re so fuckin’ tight. Pussy is squeezing me so good, baby.”
One of Rafe’s hands grips onto your hip so hard you’re sure there's going to be prints of his fingers tomorrow. The other hand grips onto your throat and squeezes, cutting off your airflow in the most delicious way. He leans down and crushes your lips with a bruising kiss, his tongue invading your mouth and dancing with your own.
“Knew you’d look so pretty all split open on my cock.” Rafe chuckles as he grips onto your jaw and shakes your head from side to side. “Tell me you fuckin’ love this shit.”
“I love it, daddy, you’re so big.” Your voice is a breathy moan, a stark contrast to the way you were talking to him not so long ago. “You’re fucking me so good.”
“So you really did just need that little attitude fucked out of you, didn’t you, Princess?” Rafe shoves his face into your neck. He attacks your skin with little bites and sucks, surely leaving marks behind. You honestly hope he does. “Calling me daddy n’ shit, fuck. I’m gonna breed this fuckin’ pussy then everybody on this damn campus will know who owns your ass.”
“Oh god, fuck yes! Fill me up, please? Give me your cum, daddy!” Any and all attitude you had earlier on is completely erased from your mind. All you can think about is Rafe’s cock and how good he’s making you feel.
“Yeah? Gonna fuck you so full it’ll be dripping down your legs when we leave this party. I’m gonna take you back to my place and eat it outta you.” Rafe leans up on his knees and grabs his belt binding your wrists with both his hands. He props both of his knees under your ass so your hips are angled and then he pulls you down on his cock over and over again like a rag doll. “Then I’m gonna fill you again and again until it’s dripping out for days. You’re mine now, baby. Say it and I’ll make you cum again.”
“I’m yours, Rafe!” You whine as you try to meet his erratic thrusts but he’s bouncing you on his cock so fast you can hardly think. That coil in your stomach is wound so tight it’s about to explode. Your hands fly up and grip onto Rafe’s wrist for purchase, your nails digging into his skin making his cock twitch inside you. “God, I’m gonna cum.”
“Yeah, that’s it baby, cum all over daddy’s big cock.” It only takes a few more pumps of his cock against your sweet spot to have your walls convulsing around him. You throw your head back with a loud moan of Rafe’s name, making your back arch and your tits jiggle beautifully. It's enough to have Rafe’s cock pulse while he cums right along with you, spilling ropes of his thick cum into your walls.
He doesn’t stop fucking you until you both come down from your highs and then he’s gently unbinding your hands from his belt. The minute your hands are free your body falls limp on the bed from exhaustion and Rafe chuckles as he looks down at you fondly.
“What’re you laughing at, jerk?” You roll your eyes and groan.
“Nothin’ you’re just cute, s’all.” Rafe chuckles again and you look at him in the eyes through your tired lashes. “I like you like this. All fucked out and covered in my cum. You still got that attitude, though.”
“Yeah? Well I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon, dickhead.” You giggle and throw him a playful glare that he returns with a genuine smile. It makes butterflies flutter in your stomach.
“Oh? Well it looks like I’ll just have to keep trying to get you to be nice to me then, huh?” Rafe plops down on his side next to you, letting his pointer finger gently caress the side of your face. “Plus, I kinda like it when you’re mean to me. It gets me going.”
“Oh my god! You’re so annoying.” You laugh and Rafe joins in before leaning over to kiss you so gently it surprises you. When he pulls back he holds your face in his hands and looks at you so sweetly it makes you feel like you’re going to puke.
“I definitely want to see you all fucked out and sweetly begging for me some more though.” Rafe bites his lip as he looks down at you. “Lemme take you home, yeah? Then maybe tomorrow I can take you on a date?”
“A date?” You scoff out a laugh and raise your eyebrow at him.
“Yeah, I’ve obviously been trying to hit this entire time. But if you would’ve given me to the time of day before biting my head off, you’d know I’ve been trynna ask your little ass out in a date for weeks now.” Rafe rolls his eyes playfully as he squishes your cheeks together with his fingers. “So, what do you say?”
“You know what? Fuck it.” You push yourself up on your elbows with a grin. “Let’s go on a fucking date, asshole.”
“Alright then, brat.” Rafe leans down and presses a messy kiss on your lips. “Get your ass up and get dressed so I can take you home with me. It’s a date.”
Tagging mooties: @cameronwillow @cxrrodedcoffin @rafeyscurtainbangs @starkeysbabygirl @starkeyprincess @oceandriveab @sarahsangelicdoll @rafesheaven
Divider by @anitalenia
#Rafe Cameron#dolly’s milestone celebration#rafe x you#rafe x reader#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe fanfiction#Rafe blurb#frat!rafe#frat!Rafe Cameron#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#I low key hate the end but it’s FINE
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Dream Girl



Summary: Did you seriously think you’d be able to get over someone like Ellie Williams? Think again, dream girl.
an: I’m so obsessed with this series and the portrayal of Ellie, there’s just something about a small town romance that scratches the sweet spot in my brain. I hope you guys have enjoyed this one just as much as I have! Thank you so much for all of the support 🤍
Warnings: smut! MDNI!! 18+, tribbing (another tribbing fic by Luna?? Ofc do you not know me by now?), lots of kissing, sub!ellie if you squint, angst, mentions of another love interest, mentions of cheating, reader sucks Ellie’s fingers, pet names, unsure and closed off reader, pls lmk if I missed anything!
Read part 1 here!!
You watched from your bed as the gentle wind blew your lace curtains further into your bedroom, the birds chirping as the early morning sun slowly rose, cascading a warm glow into your room, making you squint your sore eyes with a soft groan.
With the slow rise of the sun came the constant reminder that you’d spent yet another night without catching a wink of sleep, lying there as you allowed your thoughts to carry you to places you wished didn’t exist.
Places of your ex wife, the bitter taste of your marriage still lingering on your tongue, reminding you of everything that could have been, everything that was lost due to lust.
Places of Ellie, the person who stole your heart first. You think of everything that could have changed had you not gone to the city, how your life's outcome would have had such a great shift due to one tiny change within the line of events that made up who you were, and what you did with your life.
It all leaves the whole in your heart feeling bigger, wider, swallowing up so much of the tiny organ that it almost felt there was nothing left of it.
It had been only a few days since the last time you saw Ellie, and the memories of that night still lingering in you brain, hanging heavily in your mind, stopping you from focusing on anything but that.
Because as much it felt good to kiss her, you haven't even been divorced for a year, and the conflicting feelings that you had for Ellie, paired with the newfound distrust and heartbreak that came from your recent marriage caused a storm in your head, heavy clouds swirling about in the confides of your mind and making it heard to think, hard to breath.
It was all just too fucking hard.
But you knew life was different now. You weren't a teenage girl that could run from confrontations for her own comfort. You were a grown up now, experiencing grown up situations that called for grown up reactions. So you knew that you needed to talk to Ellie, no matter how much it hurt to even think about facing her right now.
You weren’t even entirely sure where to start. Texting her was an absolute no, despite how much easier it would be to confront her that way, behind a screen would do a great job at cushioning the blow that came with confronting Ellie. Calling fell under the same category, she deserved much more than a measly phone call from your end with the intention of patching things up.
Which left only one option. You had to see her in person.
You sighed softly as you sat up in your bed, looking over at your phone resting face down on your bedside table. You hadn’t touched it since that night, avoiding the device all together in fear that you’d see any messages or calls from the worried girl.
So you aren’t surprised when you finally pick it up to see just that. Ellie didn’t pry, there were about three phone calls and four messages, all of which came across far too understanding and supportive for someone that had been kicked out mid make out session a few nights prior.
You inhale deeply before you open up your messages with her, and begin typing.
Hi
I’m sorry I haven’t responded.
Are you busy today? Can we meet up? I feel we need to talk
You practically hold your breath until she responds, which doesn’t take a very long time because the minute you send your first message, she’s read it and already typing out her message back.
Hey, don’t apologize. I was just worried about you
Ofc we can meet. Farmers market is opened today, you wanna check it out?
You don’t even realize it, but her messages are making you smile the second you read them out. Probably because of how easy Ellie makes things, how hard it is to make things awkward with someone as kind as she is.
That sounds great.
I’ll meet you there
Cool :)
Despite the small amount of anxiety that has alleviated when you’re finished texting her, you know this is only the beginning, the easy part of a conversation that will be much harder to have, much harder to explain when you aren’t even sure how to navigate your feelings as it is.
But there was no use in putting it off any further, so you’re quick to get out of bed, brush your teeth, haul on a pair of old blue jeans and an old band t-shirt and make your way out to your car to meet Ellie in town.
It’s almost impossible to have a sour mood in a place as magical as your little town. The moment you got into your car, the warm sun soaking into your skin made you take a deep breath, allowing yourself to clear your head for a second before making your way out into town.
Your mom was right, the sun can cure more than you thought.
You hadn’t even realized it was Sunday, which meant it was your towns tradition to hold the farmers market in the town center. You used to look forward to it so much as a kid, knowing it would bring out the best of the people that lived here, showcasing the talent every person had.
Some people sold clothes that they made by hand, pieces that could only be made with love and care, something you often missed seeing in the city. Others sold jewelry, so delicately crafted it was almost unbelievable that someone was able to create something like it.
But your favorite? Was the food. Different pastries baked by the hands of men and women, recipes passed on from generation to generation to continue to breath life into the traditions that made up your town, tying one another together with a single cake or pie.
It was almost like magic.
You catch yourself smiling as you walk down the strip of stands already getting into their sales. Your heart warms at the sight of familiar faces, aged but still happy. You notice new ones as well, like when you approach a stand you remember being up when you were kid, one of which sold your favorite sweet rolls.
Your attention is far too occupied with chatting up the familiar curly haired girl at the stand, the same one that your visit when you were a teenager, eager to her mothers famous pastures. You’re surprised to see that there’s now a baby on her hip sporting the same head of spiral chocolate brown locks sprouting from her head, giggling and kicking excitedly as you introduce yourself, grabbing the babies hands as you catch your with her mom.
Ellie had arrived not long after you, standing nearby as she smiles fondly at the way the baby quickly becomes enamored with you. Watching you play with kids was something that always made her heart flutter with joy.
You giggle softly as she hands you both pastries, giving her a nod as she begs you to come visit her and the sweet baby more often. You hum softly as you struggle to push both your receipt and your phone back into your purse, groaning softly to yourself as you fail to notice the sudden looming presence that falls over the, gentle hands opening your bag wider as they aid you in putting everything away.
“Here, lemme help you” Ellie breaths out gently, her voice alone making you freeze as your eyes trail to her body to land on her face that was suddenly very close to yours.
She chuckles when she notices you staring up at her with wide eyes, nodding her head down to your bag.
“Come on now, would hate to make you drop those” she hums as she mentions the pastries in your other hand. You blink a few times before you clear your throat, giving a quick nod before you push your things into your bag with her help.
“Fuck…sorry…I…um…” you struggle to speak, adjusting your bag on your shoulders as you watch the girl step back with a soft smile.
“No worries, you alright?” She questions, neck craning down a bit to get a good look at you, her own big green eyes staring into yours, making it hard to breath.
God, this was going to be much harder than you thought.
You inhaled deeply, opening your mouth to speak before closing it, looking down at the sweet rolls in your hand before outstretching your arm to hand one to her.
“I bought this for you…I figured you hadn’t eaten yet so…” you mumble out softly, watching as she stared at you for a moment before looking down at the perfectly packaged baked good in your hand.
Her heart warming at the mere thought of you thinking of her in that way.
She smiles softly before she nods, placing her hand on the small of your back as she began guiding you out of the small strip of stands.
“So sweet of you…c’mon, there’s some places to sit right up this way” she suggests, giving you a small reassuring smile as she leads you there.
Somehow it seems perfect. The sun, the birds chirping, the little shady spot that Ellie leads you over to, covered by the biggest tree with the prettiest flowers slowly drifting down from above. It’s truly something out of a dream….
It made you wish this was all a dream.
You let out a soft sigh as you sit opposite of Ellie on the wooden bench, your fingers toying with the paper the pastry in front of you is wrapped in. Ellie frowns as she watches you closely, knowing the expression far too well. She could see just how much you were in your own head, how the events you two shared prior lingered in your mind, making it hard to focus on anything.
You couldn’t even look at her, and she hated that.
She inhaled deeply before she reached a hand out, gently placing it atop yours.
“I hope you didn’t bring me out here to apologize…because you don’t have to” her words are soft, and sweet, and it makes your throat get tight because she shouldn’t be so kind to you after what you did, after the way you treated her.
You don’t respond, so she takes the opportunity to keep talking.
“I get that things are probably hard…and I shouldn’t even have kissed you that night…so I’m sorry” she tries again, and you scoff softly before shaking your head.
“Don’t…don’t apologize” you mumble out before you inhale deeply, finally looking up, only not at her, at the scenery around you both.
“I caught her in our bed, with some girl she worked with” you mumble out softly, fingers mindlessly running along the rough surface of the wooden table.
“I probably should have seen it coming….but I think I wanted things to work out so badly that I just ignored it” you shrug slightly as you explain before you finally look over at Ellie, who’s already staring intently as she listens to you.
“Ellie I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, or to think that I’m using my divorce as an excuse for what I did, for what happened between us….but I just need you to know that I’m hurting, and it’s just….hard for me to open myself up to something like that again after what happened” your voice breaks as your emotions threaten to give you away, chin wobbling as tears pool in your eyes.
But you don’t let them flow free. You don’t want to cry anymore, not over this.
“I…I just need time….” You silently beg, beg for her to understand what it is you’re going through, what it is you’re experiencing.
It scares you when she doesn’t answer right away, her green eyes scanning your face as she takes it all in. It’s a lot, and you know that, but there’s a tiny part of you that begs for Ellie to do what she does best, which is tell you exactly what you need to hear.
She blinks a few times before giving you a nod, paired with a soft smile. “You don’t even have to ask….you know I’d understand no matter what”
You inhale deeply as you watch her, her gentle eyes, her soft smile telling you that all would be fine. It make your stomach churn because you feel like you don’t deserve it, you feel like she deserves so much more than what you’re giving her.
You two haven’t even addressed what actually happened that night.
There’s nothing more to do than to simply smile back at her. It’s weak, and it isn’t much, but it’s all you can mange right now.
Ellie smiles softly at you before she looks down at the rolls in front of you both. “As good of a baker that Mary Beth is….i think we need some real food” Ellie hums out softly before she swings her leg over the bench to get up, nodding her head towards a small diner nearby.
“Come on. Let’s get something to eat” she suggests, holding her hand out for yours.
She notices the way your eyes linger on her calloused hand, unsure of whether or not you should take it, unsure of what signals it would send if you did.
You were unsure of everything. Unsure of Ellie, yourself, your own feelings. Nothing felt solid enough to trust, and you hated that someone like Ellie could make you feel that way, even though you knew that it wasn’t her that was making you feel that way, but rather what happened to you instead.
She can see it, she can see right through you and for a moment her frown mimics yours before she it turns into a soft smile.
“As friends” she affirms gently.
She sees a flash of something ripple through your eyes at this when you finally look up at her, something she doesn’t want to read too much into, something that she knows she can’t dive into for your own comfort, and perhaps even hers too.
A moment passes before you crack a weak smile, placing your hand into hers before you nod. “Yeah…as friends” you manage to make out weakly before grabbing the things off the table, shoving them into your bag and leaning into Ellie’s warmth as she guides you to the diner.
Ignoring the bitter taste left on your tongue at the way Ellie assured you that she was your friend, and nothing more.
Your mind was in absolute shambles.
It had been a few weeks since the farmers market with Ellie, and truthfully all had been well between the two of you. You both ate together, talked, laughed, you were even able to talk about your divorce, explaining to Ellie how you felt, what it had done to you, and she listened to it all, nodding along to your words, giving you the advice you didn’t want to hear, but very much needed. For a moment it was easy to forget all about the tension that had settled between you both, the thoughts that plagued you were finally silenced as you allowed yourself to just simply be.
That was until you got home.
The second you were in your bedroom, lying there, staring up at the ceiling, memories of that night began to flood into your mind. You could feel it all so clearly, Ellie’s hands on your body, her lips pressed against your mouth, gasping for air, her tongue sliding against your own. Her words echoed throughout your mind, desperate pants and moans of how she needed you, of how you needed her.
You couldn’t sleep a wink.
It felt as though you hadn’t even talked to her, as if things hadn’t glossed over to where they were okay, a point where things were fine between you both. They were, but the feelings you had were still there. You thought that if you had at least talked to Ellie, explained to her what you were feeling, it would give you a head start on where to go with sorting out your own feelings.
None of that ever came.
Your body yearned for a moment of peace from the issues at hand, you wanted to feel the same way you felt when you were sat at the diner with Ellie, her laugh and her sparkling smile distracting you from the things you were feeling.
But you knew you couldn’t turn to her for a distraction, you couldn’t use her to occupy your mind from facing things that you’d much rather ignore. That wasn’t fair to her and it would only hurt you further in the long run, lengthen the grieving process of the death of your marriage.
You couldn’t do that to Ellie.
You could however, go somewhere that you knew would clear your mind the moment you were there.
The low hum of your car engine shuts off as you pull up to the familiar clearing, a gentle smile on your face as you can already hear the gentle stream of the water the moment you’re stepping out of the car.
The old creek was one everyone in your town treasured, a tiny glimpse of paradise in the confides of your backyard. It was where all the seniors would go for senior skip day, and where families would visit to spend the day with their children. If there was any place that the people of your town would be during the summertime, it would be the creek.
And rightfully so, the waters sparkled like nothing you’d ever seen before, the shady trees hiding the spot away like a secret that belonged to you and only you. You had many fond memories of the place, ones with your family, your siblings, your old friends from school.
Ellie.
You and her would visit the spot any chance you got, diving into the cold water the moment you were there. You could recall the moment you two first found out, thinking it was a secret only you two shared, just to find out your parents had been visiting when they were your age as well.
Regardless of the fact that it didn’t belong to you two, it felt like it. A small piece of the world that you and Ellie could call your own, sharing secrets there with one another, Ellie pushing you off the old swing tied up to one of the trees before she swung in soon after, diving in and holding you close to her chest as she promised you’d be together forever, for as long as you both lived.
The intensity that you both shared as teenagers often made you laugh. What a silly thing for two teenage girls to say who have barely experienced the world out there.
You let out a gentle sigh as you rugged off your denim shorts after setting your spot up. A small blanket settled down with your bag, your old camera and a few books, clearly having every intention of staying the entire day, swimming to your hearts content.
Once you’re stripped of your clothes, your body only clad in your old bathing suit, you waste no time in making your way down to the water, shivering slightly once your toes hit the cold water, wiggling them in the process.
You’re convinced swimming in the small body of water has to have some sort of mystical healing properties, because the moment you’re diving your head under, eyes examining the aquamarine world that is below the surface, your mind is clear. It makes you feel like you could live there, swimming amongst the different underwater caverns and the fish, creating a whole new world below as the little mermaid you always dreamed to be.
Your mother always told you she thought she’d given birth to a little fish when your father first took you swimming.
It’s so easy to lose track of time when you’re like this, floating around in the water, letting its coldness wrap you up and swallow you whole. It’s almost comforting how quiet it is, the only sounds being the gentle stream of the water, the wind rustling against the tree leaves and the frequent sound of the birds chirping to let you know that you weren’t alone, letting you know they were there with you.
You don’t even realize it but you’ve spent hours swimming about in the small pond, the grumbling in your stomach finally stops you for a moment to actually think about anything other than swimming, forcing you out to lay out onto your blanket and dry in the sun, occasionally popping the sweet berries into your mouth you’d brought from home.
The book you’ve brought with you also silences the outside world, allowing you to flip from page to page without thinking of anything but the regal characters that seemingly had much more to worry about than you. What a world it would be to wear uncomfortable dresses and attend balls in the hopes you’d find the perfect husband.
What would they think of your divorce?
It makes you snort to yourself, a gentle hum leaving your lips as you flip another page, unaware of the sudden sound of feet crunching against the grass slowly approaching you.
The high pitched sound of your name being called rips your attention away from your book, furrowing your eyebrows a bit as you cup your hand above your eyes to shield from the sun, trying to get a good look at who it was that was disturbing your peace.
“I didn’t think I’d be seein’ you here! What a surprise!” Lilac chirps out, her curly hair tied up into a perfectly styled bun, tight coils framing her face as she clutches her towel to her chest.
You hadn’t seen her since the night Ellie took you out to the Copper Cat a few weeks ago, the girl not lingering on your mind much as you had much bigger fish to fry. You were honestly a bit shocked that she’d even remembered your name.
You give her a gentle smile as you sit up, your legs folding to cross one another as you give her a small smile.
“Good to see you Lilac….going for a swim?” You ask her, watching as the girl takes the spot right next to yours, her blanket fitting perfectly up against your own as she gives you a confident nod.
“Mhm! It’s too hot…bless Ellie’s heart for sharin’ this place with me. Don’t know what I’d do without it” she chirps out as she tugs her own denim shorts off, leaning her in the cutest little bikini.
You know she doesn’t mean it in the way that it sounds, bragging about being introduced to the small clearing by your ex girlfriend, and you knew that it was only in due time that this place was mentioned to her by someone in your town, making sense that Ellie would do it first since that’s just the kind of girl Ellie was.
But there’s just something that tugs at your heart at the thought of it all. Ellie mentioning this place to her, the two of them coming down together, alone, Lilac adorned in another one of those adorable bikinis she had to show off to Ellie her gorgeous body as they play in the water together.
Something about Ellie sharing the spot you two shared with someone else that just rubbed you the wrong way.
You inhale deeply, trying to calm your nerves as you remember that this girl owes you nothing, Ellie owes you nothing and Lilac has been nothing but kind to you from the moment she met you.
Giving her a gentle smile as she settles down next to you, you nod. “It’s pretty great out here…I’m surprised it isn’t so packed. Seems we got lucky” you give her a nod before you sigh, turning your attention back to your book.
She smiles fondly as she watches you turn your attention back to your book, her neck craning down a bit to get a good look at the cover, gasping softly once she realized what it was you were reading.
“You read those too? I love them! I just finished the first two” she beams, a soft hum leaving your lips as you look up at the girl, raising your eyebrows at her comment.
“Really? Most people think they’re super corny” you pout softly as you turn the book over to look at the cliche cover, which only earns a firm head shake from Lilac.
“Honey I’m a hopeless romantic, I daydream more than I actually try talking to people” she giggles out softly, giving you a gentle shrug.
Her words make you chuckle softly, gently closing your book as you toss it to the side before sitting up to mirror her posture, crossing your legs as you suddenly give her your full attention.
“You’re a hopeless romantic? But…Lilac you’re gorgeous. I wouldn’t be shocked if you have every single guy here desperate to get a chance with you” you confess, which only makes her shake her head as she gives you a shy smile, gently shoving your knee.
“Don’t you dare! I’m awful at talking to people” she pouts out, her eyes dropping from her own as she stares down at the flowers on her blanket, delicate fingers tracing the patterns gently as she lets out a gentle sigh.
“If I’m being honest…it’s not the guys here that I want…” her words trail off softly, and it makes you pout softly as you eye the girl, seeing how whatever is on her mind is clearly bothering her, plaguing the girl just as much as what was on your mind.
You open your mouth to ask her about it, feeling bad about whatever she was going through, but she’s quick to shake her head and put on a bright smile once she looks back into your eyes. “But let’s not get into that! M’glad you’re here to join me today” she breaths out, her voice sweet and genuine as her eyes soften.
And it makes your heart rate finally slow down, seeing just how genuine the girl seemed, how happy she was to be there with you regardless of the fact that you were as good as a stranger to her than anything more.
You smile softly as you nod, leaning forward and placing your hand on hers, giving a gentle squeeze. “Don’t mention it, Lilac” you hum out softly.
If there was anything you didn’t expect to do today, it was to have made a new friend, especially one in Lilac. The two of you spent the entire day down at the creek, laughing together, swimming together. The more time you spent with her, the more you realized just how much in common the both of you had.
Being completely honest with yourself, she had more kindness in her pinky than anyone in the city ever did.
The sun has set, and the breeze blew against your warm skin as you leaned against your car, Lilac in front of you as she made yet another joke that had you throwing your head back as you let out a loud laugh.
“Stop I feel the same way! I always wondered what happened to him” you gasp out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you lean back to shove your back into the passenger seat of your car. Lilac giggles softly as she nods, her arms crossed over her chest as she swatted away the mosquitos slowly began to swarm around you both.
“He’s still an idiot, some people never change I fear” she groaned out, a prominent pout on her perfect lips before she cocked her head to the side, smiling fondly at you.
“Ellie was right about you, you know? You really are somethin’ special” she breaths out, and it has your eyes going wide at the mention of the girl. It makes you realize that you hadn’t thought about her all day, not since Lilac had joined you.
It makes you wonder what other things Ellie had said about you.
You whine softly as you bring your hand forward to nudge her playfully. “Shut up….you’ll blow my head up” you warn the girl playfully before you sigh softly, looking over at the sun that was slowly bur surly setting, the once warm glow that casted onto you both disappearing.
“Ahh I should get going…we shouldn’t be on the roads too late” you breath out softly, turning towards the girl and giving her a small smile, only to see a sad one on her face.
You frown softly as you watch her, leaning forward and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “Hey? You okay?” You ask gently, suddenly worried about the girls shift in her mood.
She lets out a gentle sigh before she looks down at her feet, kicking around the gravel below before she lets out a soft hum. “I know we don’t know each other well…but…I feel like you’ll be my only help with this” she admits to you, her eyes still casted downwards before you assure her with a soft voice. “Of course you can..” you mumble out softly.
She finally looks up at you, taking a deep inhale before she gives you a half smile. “I…think I like Ellie” she breaths out, as if she’d been keeping it held in for so long, as if finally telling you was letting a weight off of her shoulders.
Letting it off of hers and slamming it down onto yours.
You find it hard to breathe, because suddenly you’re shot back to the first night you met Lilac at the Copper Cat. Ellie’s hand on her waist, hers on Ellie’s arm as she whispers in her ear, the two of them matching one another far more than you felt you could’ve ever matched Ellie. You feel threatened, and it sets a fire off in your chest, and you feel like the world is crumbling around you as this beautiful girl admits her innocent feelings for your ex girlfriend.
When you don’t speak, she continues.
“And I just…you and her are so close, so I was hoping maybe you could give me some advice? Should I go for it? Do you…think she’d like me back?” She asks hopefully, twiddling with her fingers nervously as she watches you closely, awaiting your response.
You stare are her blankly, your body working on autopilot as you try to work your way through this. Seeing her that night felt like it might’ve all been in your head, especially when Ellie ran out after you and left the moment you were ready, but now this is all real. This is Lilac confirming that what you felt was real, and this was the reality of coming back to your hometown, more specifically your ex girlfriend.
And as you stand there, trying to figure out what the hell to say to this girl, you can only see someone doing the same thing that you’re doing. She’s a young girl, looking for love in this crazy fucked up world, and she’s unsure of herself. Someone as beautiful as her is unsure of herself and you could only wish that someone would have guided you when you were pursuing your ex wife, a third party bystander giving their advice and helping you through it all.
Because as much as it kills you? Ellie deserves love, and so does Lilac, and if they find it in one another, who the hell are you to take that away from them.
The both of them owe you nothing.
You inhale deeply before giving her a soft smile, nodding as you reach out to give her arm a gentle, assuring squeeze. “I think Ellie would be thrilled to be with someone like you, Lilac….you should go for it” you breath out genuinely, watching as the girls face lights up with joy with your confirmation, an excited squeal leaving her lips.
“I was hoping you’d say that! You’re an angel” she squeals, reaching forward and grabbing you up into her arms as she gives you a tight hug, swaying back and forth as she tucks her chin into your shoulder.
You can practically feel the happiness radiating off of her.
You smile softly as you nod, wrapping your hands around her as you hug her back before you hum. “You didn’t need me…you’ll be great on your own” you assure her before you pull away, giving her a reassuring nod.
She smiles brightly as she nods before she lets out a loud sigh. “Right…get home safe, alright? And text me! We can hang out sometime this week” she sings out as she gets into her car, giving you a wave as she begins pulling off.
And suddenly you’re left there all alone, with the newfound thoughts that are swirling about in your head. You know already that you won’t be able to sleep, not with the mental image of the two of them dancing around in your mind, forcing you to face reality, face the facts that time moves on with or without you.
But you were tired of being left behind, you were tired of being the last one to know things, the one broken heart in a sea of mended ones.
Driving off in your car from the creek gives you time to think, the cool breeze kissing your skin, pushing your hair back as the radio plays your favorite songs, creating somewhat of a perfect scenario to think things over rather than running from them.
While it all hurts, you know that there’s no use in standing in the way of Lilac or Ellie or whoever for that matter. Life would continue moving, and in that meant new love would be found, for both you and Ellie, it just felt like that wouldn’t happen for you in the moment, even if you knew it would.
But you were going to move on from this. And you were going to be fine, no matter how long it took for you to catch up with the tracks of life that seemingly always got the best of you.
There’s something therapeutic about hanging up the laundry on the old clothes line in your backyard.
You used to make fun of your mom all the time when she did it, telling her that there was a perfectly good dryer inside that would take less than half the time to dry the clothes than they did outside, not to mention less work when it came to picking them in.
However as you’ve grown older, there’s something so simple about walking outside with your basket on your hip, the gentle smell of detergent blowing into your direction as you pin up several articles of clothing, your white sheets, anything that you’ve washed, that tickles your brain in the best ways.
That, and the fact that these days you’ll take any task to fill your brain with thoughts other than Ellie or your ex wife.
Things had been fine. You spoke to Ellie here and there, dropped dinner off at Joel’s house that you knew he made sure she got some of whenever you made extra, you even made time for Lilac within the week as well. You’d picked up a small job in town as well, working at the cashier of a small floral shop that had been in town from you could remember.
So although your mind drifted to places you didn’t often like, life was fine. Life was slow, and life was good.
Lilac constantly gushed to you about Ellie, talking about all the progress they’d been making, asking your opinion on the girls behavior, which you always tried your best to help with. Although the strange thing about it all, was you heard nothing from Ellie about the situation. She didn’t mention anything about Lilac, not even when you brought it up.
It wasn’t long until you began distancing yourself from the both of them, knowing how hard it would be once they became official and you had to live life in a world where they were together.
Because although you were doing okay, the wound was still fresh, and you had to keep your peace.
You hummed a gentle tune softly as you continued hanging up your linen on the line, enjoying the feeling of the cool summer breeze against your skin, the dandelions dancing along through the air as they became loose from their stems.
The sound of your fence creaking open cuts right into your thoughts of housework, forcing you to turn around as you hang up another one of your sleep shirts, a soft smile on your lips when you catch sight of the familiar tall brunette walking into your backyard, both her hands shoved into the pockets of her denim jeans.
“Ellie…didn’t think you were coming over” you sigh out softly as you clip the end of your shirt up, continuing to hang up your clothes regardless of her being there.
“Was in the neighborhood….I thought I’d stop by” she breaths out, eyes taking in your form as you continue with your chore.
Her voice seems like something is bothering her, and you catch onto it the second she utters her first syllable. You know already why she’s here, to question you about your sudden absence, wondering if things were okay with you or not, worry clear in her tone.
“You…haven’t been around lately” she mumbles out, that same worried tone laced throughout her words.
It was just as you suspected.
You frown, thanking the task of laundry that hides your expression from her. It’s so much easier to lie to Ellie whenever you’re not looking into her eyes.
“Oh…I’ve just been uh…dealing with some stuff” you’re quick with the excuse, clearing your throat before you turn around to give her a soft smile. “I’m fine…honest” you give her your best attempt at a reassuring nod before you turn back to your laundry.
You have to turn away from her quickly, because you can see from the small glimpses you get of her that she’s frowning, and her brows are furrowed together with something that’s bothering her.
You hope she’ll leave after you tell her you’re fine.
But she doesn’t. You don’t hear her respond to your words, or even turn around silently to go about her day. You hear nothing behind you, only the sound of your white sheets wafting through the wind, drying on the line before you.
You frown when you look down to see your basket is empty, and the task of pinning up your clothes is no longer present to hide you away from Ellie.
So you need to get rid of her.
You inhale deeply, picking up the old basket and placing it on your hip, putting your most believable smile on your face before turning around, finally locking eyes onto the girl to see something that makes your heart sink.
It looks like she hasn’t slept, prominent bags under her pretty eyes, pouty pink lips chapped, most likely picked and bit at out of anxiety, a bad habit you knew she had whenever something was bothering her. Your heart tugs at the image, wanting nothing more than to pull the girl down into a hug, consoling her and telling her that whatever was bothering her, would be fine.
But you can’t. Because things aren’t the same anymore.
You inhale deeply before you nod your head towards your back door. “Well…I have lots to do inside…more house work…dinner” you explain, trying your best to hint at Ellie leaving without having to say so.
“Did I do something wrong?” She finally makes out, her words a clear plea to understand the situation rather than a half mumble that she’d rather not say.
It makes you furrow your eyebrows, watching the girl with a confused look as you try to understand her.
“Wrong? Ellie…I’ve barely seen you. What could you have possibly done wrong?” You try, confused of the sudden outburst from the girl.
Her eyes are stormy, hazy and hard to read. Her brows are knit as she looks down at the floor before looking back into your eyes, a prominent frown on her face.
“Why would you tell Lilac that there’s something worth looking for between her and I…why would you…” her words trail off, as if she wants to say more, as if she wants to persist with knowing why you would have done such a thing.
And soon it all starts making sense.
You wish Lilac wouldn’t have said anything. You wish she wouldn’t have told Ellie that you were the one that told her to go for it, even if she was the one that asked in the first place. You wish she would have just pursued Ellie without any mention of you, because was that even necessary? You know she must have done it to gush about you even further, the girl becoming enamored with you from the moment she saw you, and even more so once you two became closer.
But for the love of god…did she really have to tell Ellie that you were the one to tell her to go for it?
You open your mouth to speak before you sigh softly, your hands squeezing the handles of your clothes basket before you speak. “I….she spent the day down at the creek with me and when we were about to leave she told me she liked you…and she asked me if I thought she should pursue you” you explain with a shrug of your shoulders, which only makes Ellie scoff in disbelief.
“And you told her that was a good idea?” She argues back, as if it were the dumbest thing you could have ever done. She says it as if it were common knowledge to tell the girl other wise, you raise your eyebrows when she says this.
“Yeah? Why not? Lilac is…she’s fucking gorgeous Ellie. Anyone would be lucky to have her, and you should be happy I put you on with someone as great as her” you mumble out as you slip past the girl, clearly done with Ellie and this conversation as you walked up the wooden steps leading to your back door.
But Ellie isn’t finished with you, because she’s quick to follow behind, closing the door behind you as you make your way into your laundry room to set your basket down, your hands going to your hips once you turn around to see the girls built figure standing in your doorway.
“Ellie come on…I have things to do…you need to go” you huff out as you slip past her once again, going off into your living room to start on the dried laundry that needed to be folded, hoping that the girl would simply drop it and leave.
“You know I understood you the night after the show, and I was more than willing to give you all of the space you need, but this feels like you’re playing some sick joke on me” she’s standing over you now, watching as you try to ignore her in favor of some pillow cases that needed folding.
“Is pushing me into the arms of someone else your solution? And ignoring me until I’ve forgotten all about it? Is that the plan? Is that seriously what you think it’ll take to get rid of me?” She tries again, her voice pleading with you at this point as she watches you ignore her.
But this time you done, your hands drop to your lap as you stare up at her in disbelief before you toss the pillow case to the side, standing up opposite of her.
“I never had a plan! Lilac asked me a question and I was honest with her. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be happy with someone else” you explain to her before you finally feel as though you’ve had enough, a huff of annoyance filling the silent air as you round the couch to slip away into the kitchen.
Before you’re fully there, Ellie’s voice is echoing off the walls.
“But I can’t be happy with someone else!” She shouts out, her arms flailing up inti the air before dropping down to her side, the sound of her palms slapping against her jeans before she sighs.
You stop dead in your tracks when you hear that one, your back still turned to her.
“How could I possibly be happy with anyone else when you’re all I fucking think about….” Her voice is tired, and it’s almost as if she’s begging you for something, something you are not capable of, something you cannot give.
Begging for you.
“From moment we had our first kiss….to the moment I said goodbye to you before you left for the city…I’ve only ever wanted you” you can hear her getting closer, slowly making her way towards you as you stand there at the edge of your kitchen, frozen, silent, unable to say anything to her as she confesses these things to you.
“It’s pathetic, and I’ve tried to suck it up for your sake because I know….you’re going through a tough time after that moron did what she did….but I can’t fucking hide anymore” she breaths out, and it sounds the same exact way that Lilac sounded when she admitted to you that she had feelings for Ellie those nights ago.
Your back is still turned to her, and you know she’s right behind you because her smell fills up your lungs and makes your eyes roll to the back of your head as you try to fight all of it back, everything that you’ve done, all that you’ve worked through from the moment you got home to get to the point that you were at currently.
But you feel all of it break the moment Ellie’s strong hand grips your shoulder gently, sighing softly as she speaks.
“Look at me….please angel…” she begs, her skin wafting onto your neck as she tries her best to fight the urge to grab you right then and there and kiss you.
When you finally turn around, her heart breaks, because the whites of your eyes are red, and there are heavy tears pooling at the edge of your eyes, making them sparkle in the warm light of your kitchen, looking so beautiful yet so tragic all in the same time.
Her chest tightens as she leans in to cup your cheek, fighting back the urge to groan as she inhales deeply. “I can’t…I don’t wanna pretend like I’m not still in love-“ you’re quick to cut her off, your tears spilling out onto her cheeks the moment you hear the word.
“Don’t…don’t say it” you warn her with shaky words, struggling to even speak with the burning sensation in your throat.
You don’t think you could handle it, hearing those words fall from someone’s lips again, the fear rising the moment they hang from Ellie’s, flashbacks of you’re wife at the alter, promising you everything and more before she kissed you and whispered in your ear that she loved you.
It’s scary, and it makes you feel terrified of Ellie.
Before she can carry on even further, trying her best to convince you that her words are true, silently begging you to hear her out as her wide green eyes stare down into yours, you’re cutting her off.
“I told you already Ellie…I’m not….i can’t do this again. I can’t give myself to someone like I did with her” your voice trembles as you explain, her vision blurring with tears as you try your best to swallow them all back.
She licks her lips as she stares down at you before she shakes her head. “I get it….I get that you’re hurting from what happened, but I can’t keep going on without you knowing anymore….” She starts to explain, both of her hands coming up to cup either side of your face, forcing you to look up at her.
“I’ve….god I’ve longed for you from the moment you left after high school. There was not a day that went by where I did not think of you for even a few seconds. And I’m sorry for what happened, and I understand if I’m just a childhood fling for you, but I’d rather you tell me that then try to push someone else onto me to distract me from what I’ve felt all these years” she rambles on, nearly stumbling over her words as they all bubble up to the surface, overflowing and dragging you down with her.
You open your mouth for a moment before closing it, looking far too similar to a fish out of water as you try to find the words to say. What are you even supposed to say? Are you supposed to lie to her? Tell her that you haven’t felt the same way? But now it’s different and it hurts to even try to envision yourself in a relationship with someone let alone pursue them? Even when it’s Ellie?
Your Ellie?
She watches as you struggle to speak, her eyes searching yours for even a sliver of hope that this will work, that her confession will bring you to a point where you can both meet, where things can be okay again.
And if they can’t? She needs to hear you say it out loud.
“Tell me you don’t feel the same” she deadpans, hands dropping from your face as any hope she might have had slowly drains out, fizzling out of her system as she watches you simply stare up at her, a mere shell of the girl she once knew.
“Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll never bring this up again. We can move on from this and we can be friends. I promise” she breaths out, feeling the air slowly leaving her lungs, making it hard to breathe.
You feel the exact same way. You feel like the world has stopped around you both as images of your life swirls around your head.
There’s images of your ex wife, taking the privilege of love from you, ripping your heart out of your chest and walking away with it the moment she decided to cheat on you. It hurts, and it burns and it feels like something you’ll never recover from, something that leaves a wound so deep, that it will never grow the familiar leathery skin that it’s supposed to, creating a scar that acts as merely a memory for what happened, for what you endured.
And then there’s something sweeter in the corner, so small that if you pay enough attention to the hurt in your heart, you don’t even notice it.
It’s memories of Ellie. Sharing your first kiss with her, going to prom with her, spending late nights with her in your bedroom talking about the future, spending time with one another that will leave sweet memories in your mind till the day you die. It’s soft, and it’s easy and it makes your insides flutter with excitement at the mere thought of her by your side.
As you’re looking over all these parts of you, standing in your kitchen with Ellie and staring up into her eyes, you make a remarkable discovery.
You realize that if you try hard enough, the pain that comes from what your ex wife did doesn’t hurt as bad, long as you’re focusing on the feeling that Ellie gives you.
Because when you’re with Ellie, you feel nothing but love.
You lick your own lips as you stare up at her, inhaling deeply before you shake your head, feeling your throat burn with tears before you speak.
“I can’t do that….” Your words trail off for a moment before your eyes drift down to her strong hands, missing the feeling of her skin pressed against yours.
You slowly reach forward to take her tattooed hand into yours, your fingers dancing along the intricate details of the leaves on her wrist before you interlock your fingers, finally looking up at her as your eyes well up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
“Because I….feel the same way” you breath out, watching as her sage colored eyes glimmer with happiness, a gentle sigh of relief leaving her lips as she quickly moves her hand to cup your face, her other reaching down to hold onto your waist, pulling you close to her body.
“Jesus…c’mere” she practically moans out before she smashes her lips against yours in a passionate, love filled kiss.
You giggle softly, your hands wrapping around her wrist as you waste no time in kissing her back, arms coming up to loosely wrap around her neck as you press your chest against hers, reveling in the feeling of her lips pressed against your own.
You hummed a gentle tune to yourself as you mixed up the pitcher of lemonade, far too deep in thought to pay the bustling party behind you any mind.
One of your favorite parts about the summer time was the cookouts. There was something about nearly the entire town coming together at someone’s house, enjoying the warm weather, the bright sun and good food, that made your heart burst with excitement.
You were just about ready to make your way to your backyard with the others, when you felt a firm hand sliding against your waist, smoothing down over the fabric of your flower sun dress and pulling you into their chest.
“Don’t you think we have enough drinks baby?” Ellie hums out softly, pressing her lips against the base of your neck, making you giggle softly as you lean into her.
“It’s almost 100 degrees outside, Ellie…I don’t think too many things to drink is even a possibility” you explain before you turn around in her arms, smiling softly at the firm as you wrap your arms around her neck, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of her lips.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on the grill? You better not burn all that food I bought” you playfully pinch her shoulder, which only makes her groan softly.
“It’s too hotttt….wanna be inside with you” she whines out, resting her head against your shoulder as she gently sways with you in the kitchen.
You hum as you nod, your fingers toying with the short hair at the nape of her neck. “I know baby….but your father will be very upset if he doesn’t have at least one beer with you…come on pretty girl” you hum out to her softly, your hands sliding down to hold her around her middle before giving her a gentle pinch near her ribs, which makes her yelp out as she pulls away, a prominent pout on her sun burnt, freckled face.
“Fine…but come out with me” she huffs out, leaning in to give your forehead a kiss before she makes her way outside, making you giggle softly.
You sigh softly to yourself, placing the lemonade on a small tray paired with some already filled red solo cups, and a few empty ones on the side that you knew would be getting filled up shortly after you brought them out. You had to move slowly with how full they were, groaning softly to yourself as you tried your best to not let them fall as you tried making your way through the crowd of people in your home.
“Oh honey let me help you with that!” You hear Lilac chirp out as she quickly comes behind you, pressing her hands against your waist before taking the heavy pitcher off of the tray, making you sigh in relief once you saw the girl.
“There you are! I was starting to think you wouldn’t show…” you pout out, smiling softly as the girl leaned in to press a friendly kiss to your cheek, which you were quick to lean into as well.
She giggled softly as she groaned. “Did you know that this party of yours is causin’ traffic out there?? Everyone’s dying to come, I almost ran out with the rollers still in my hair” she explains, making you giggle softly as she opened up your back door for you.
After everything happened with you and Ellie, you were terrified of what would happen with Lilac. You felt like you’d robbed the girl of something she wanted without even trying, even after being the one to tell her to go for it! Even after Ellie assured you time and time again that Lilac was always one to get innocent crushes on everyone, and that she’d get over it in no time, you were still scared that you’d lose the girl as a friend after just making her one.
You were quickly proven wrong when you met her in town a few days after, texting her and letting her know you had something to tell her. Instead of her being upset about you and Ellie, Lilac was thrilled. She grabbed you and hugged you, and told you that she even wanted to celebrate with you and Ellie, explaining that her crush was as innocent as could be.
And before you could even realize, Lilac had become your best friend.
You giggle softly as the children practically jumped you once they saw the tall pitcher of ice cold lemonade, frantically grabbing the cups and chugging them down before running off to play in the sun.
Catching sight of Ellie with her father and a few of her coworkers makes your heart flutter, and you decide to fill up a few more cups of the cold drink as you make your way over to them, a soft smile on your face.
“Lemonade anyone?” You chirp out softly, all of them taking them gladly before Ellie slung her arm around your waist, pulling you into her side as she pressed a kiss to the side of your head, carrying on with her conversation.
You don’t miss the way Joel smiles fondly at the two of you over the edge of his cup.
And later that night, when everyone’s left and the house is cleaned up, you lay with Ellie in your bed, the cool breeze blowing in through your windows, your bedroom illuminated by the white light of the moon.
You’re tucked away into Ellie’s side, your thigh hooked over her body, one of her hands rubbing along your skin and massaging your leg, the other looped around your shoulder as you stare up at her lovingly, your hand dancing along her t shirt clad chest.
“Did you have fun today?” You question softly, which earns a gentle smile from the girl before she looks down at you, giving you a slight nod.
“The best time baby….haven’t seen so many people gathered around for a party in a long time…you did good angel” she breaths out before she leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, which makes you smile warmly.
But the warmth doesn’t just settle in your cheeks.
A simple kiss from your girlfriend makes it travel down your body. It warms your throat, your chest, your stomach, traveling all the way down until it settles right in between your legs, making you clear your throat to bite back a whimper.
Ellie frowns softly when she notices this, pulling away to look down at you as she continues massaging your thigh. “Something wrong princess?” She questions, slight concern lacing her tone as she watches you with furrowed brows, her expression clear in the light of the moon.
When you and Ellie first started being romantic again, she promised you she’d take things slow. Your relationship only went far as kissing, a few gropes here and there, but nothing further than a steamy make out session that ended once Ellie tapped your thighs and forced you off of her lap, fearing that she was pushing you too far.
At first it was extremely considerate of her. It was true, intimacy was a bit hard for you at first, somehow thinking of your failed relationship every time you tried, blaming your self for not pleasing your wife enough.
But as time went on, those thoughts were virtually silenced. You didn’t even have the capacity to think of anything but Ellie when her tongue was down your throat, the feeling of her big hands on your body, and her toned thighs pressed between your legs.
So now…God…you needed her more than anything.
You were almost embarrassed to even say it, but it was getting to a point that anything Ellie did was setting you into a frenzy. Just today, her toned arms in here wife pleaser and her denim jeans made your head spin, and your panties cling to your needy core.
Her frown deepened when you didn’t answer, the girl turning over a bit to better face you before her hand came up to cup your cheek. “Baby? What’s the matter?” She questions once again.
You finally let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering shut as you reach up to grab her wrist gently, keeping her close as you avoid looking into her eyes.
“I….need you Ellie…need you so bad” you sigh out softly, voice barely above a whisper.
Her frown only deepens further as she stares at you down in confusion. “Need me? But angel I’m right-“ her words are cut off when she feels your grip on her wrist tighten, and your thigh hikes up her body further, pressing your core against her side.
Her eyes widen in realization.
“Fuck…” she breaths out, watches as your eyes flutter open to stare into her own, yours filled with want and need as your other hand moves down to hold onto her exposed hip gently.
“Are you sure baby? We can…fuck…we don’t have to…” she struggles to get out, eyes glued to yours as she watches you.
You shake your head before you gently pry her hand from your face, bringing her fingers down to press against your lips before you sigh. “I’ve thought about you every day since I’ve left Ellie…of course I’m sure…” you sigh out softly before you open your mouth, taking her pointer and middle finger into your mouth as you slowly suck them in, moaning around them.
Ellie lets out a soft moan as she watches you, feeling her own clit pulse against her underwear as she quickly grows warm with a need similar to yours.
“That’s my girl…fuck….been needy huh?” She moans out, making you nod before you roll over to straddle her, her other hand coming down to grip your hip softly, massaging your skin through the fabric of her own t shirt draped over your body.
You let go of her fingers with a pop before you stare down at her, a soft smile on your face as you move down to press your lips against hers, wasting no time in pushing your tongue into her mouth.
The kiss is slow, and sensual and dirty and it’s everything you’ve wanted and needed since your divorce. It’s nothing like kissing your ex wife, but it’s everything like kissing Ellie. The noises she makes has your head spinning, and it forces you to roll your hips down onto her, which makes her moan even louder into your mouth.
“Fuck…want you to…wanna feel your pussy on mine baby…can you do that for me?” She questions out desperately, her hands roaming your body, pushing her t shirt up on your to reveal your tits.
Ellie had it all planned out. She wanted it to be romantic, she wanted to take things slow and show you just how much she loved you, just how serious she was about you. She wanted you to feel loved.
Oh did her plans not go as planned, but oh how you felt so fucking loved.
You nod eagerly, sitting up and tugging the t shirt off, tossing it somewhere in your room. Ellie moans loudly at the sight of you above her, hands reaching up and cupping either one of your boobs, pinching and rolling your nipples between her fingers.
Once she’s had her fun, you climb off of her for a moment, tugging off her panties, giving her time to tug her sleep shorts off as well, leaving you naked and her bottom half bare. She’s feverishly tugging you back onto her lap, allowing you to tug her t shirt off.
And the feeling of your bare chest pressed against hers makes you moan loudly, your lips coming down again to press a needy kiss to hers, filled with tongue and teeth as you both situate yourselves.
The moment comes quickly, your legs slotted between hers perfectly, pussy right on top of hers as she stares up at you with low, hazy eyes, strong hands gripping your thighs and your ass as you slowly began rolling your hips so that your throbbing clit bumps against hers, making the girl beneath you moan loudly as her back arches and her eyes flutter shut.
“F-fuck! Oh my….fuuuuckkkk…that’s it baby…fuck yourself down onto my pussy…oh my….ha-fuck” she moans out, voice going hoarse as her strong fingers press firmly into your skin, sure to leave marks in the morning.
Your moans mix with hers, paired with the sound of your sopping wet pussies sliding against one another, a symphony of erotic love making that has been a long time coming. It’s like the two of you let out every raw emotion that had been bottled up for all those years you spent apart, her longing, your hurt, it all mixes together to create something of a beautiful love song that belongs to the two of you, and no one else.
“Ellieee…fuck! Feels…feels so good..” you moan out, picking up the pace as you feel your orgasm growing closer and closer by the second, your bed creaking with every thrust of your hips.
Ellie can’t take it anymore, moving to sit up as she grips both of your hips, aiding you in riding her pussy faster before she gives you an encouraging nod. “Come on baby…cum with me, yeah?” She sighs out breathlessly, staring up into your eyes passionately as she feels her own orgasm growing closer.
You wrap your arms around her shoulders, keeping her closer as you moan and whine, eyebrows furrowing with pleasure as you struggle to make it there, struggle to not let the pleasure get the best of you.
Your heart feels like it’ll just burst.
“I…mmm…fuck….Ellie I love you…I love you so much…” you moan out, eyes fluttering shut as you feel right on the brink of your orgasm.
“That’s my fucking girl…I love you so much baby…more than you’ll ever know…” she moans out to you.
And suddenly, you see colors.
Your chest feels like you’ve been struck by lightening, struggling to even stay upright as your orgasm ripples through your body violently, your forehead resting against Ellie’s as your arousal mixes with hers, both of your orgasms so intense, so powerful, it feels like it’ll kill you both right then and there.
The come down is hard, because it’s almost sorrowful to no longer feel the amazing feeling that comes with making love to Ellie, but the feeling of her strong arms wrapping around your middle and keeping you close is almost better, her lips pressing against your collar bones and chest as you both breath hard, the room silent compared to the noise that once filled it.
She holds you there the entire time, whispering how much she loves you, promising you that she’ll give you everything you could ever want and need.
And while you’ve heard all of that before, just for it to end in shit….
You believe her, because this time? It’ll be different.
#ellie williams smut#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie x you
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Okay can I request Spencer with virgin reader or inexperienced reader pls thank you 🙏 side note I really loved the unsub Spencer fic too 🤤 I love your writing
Yes ofc! I got a little carried away. Enjoy!
Spencer reid x inexperienced!reader
cw: first time, slow & intimate, praise, prep, gentle desperation
The rain had started sometime after midnight.
You and Spencer sat curled together on his worn couch, the low hum of classical music playing in the background. A chessboard was abandoned on the coffee table. Two mugs of tea long forgotten beside it.
He was warm next to you, long legs folded awkwardly, one arm slung over the back of the couch, brushing your shoulder now and then. He kept looking at you—more than usual tonight. You could feel it in the shift of his breathing. The hesitation. The gravity.
You bit your lip, heart fluttering.
“I’ve never…” you started, then stopped.
Spencer blinked, head tilting slightly. “What’s wrong?”
You shook your head, avoiding his eyes. “I just… I think if this keeps going—us, I mean—I should tell you something.”
He straightened a little, concern flashing in his features. “Okay.”
“I’ve never been with anyone before. Like, sexually.”
Silence stretched for half a breath.
Spencer’s lips parted, then closed again, and you braced yourself for some awkward apology or well-meaning “that’s okay” speech—but what you got instead was something else entirely.
Relief.
His shoulders dropped. His hand slid down to gently hold yours.
“Thank you for trusting me with that,” he said softly.
You finally looked up.
He was staring at you like he always did when he was about to recite facts—but this time, his voice stayed low, intimate.
“Do you want to know something kind of embarrassing?” he said, a smile ghosting at the corner of his mouth. “I haven’t been with anyone in a really long time. Like, years. I’ve… been waiting for it to mean something again.”
You exhaled slowly. “So you’re not…”
“Judging you? No. Not even a little. In fact…” He leaned in closer, voice dropping into something that made your stomach twist, “The thought of being your first is kind of driving me crazy.”
Your face flushed. “Spencer…”
His hand cupped your cheek.
“We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for,” he murmured. “But if you want me, really want me—I swear I’ll take care of you.”
“I do,” you said. “I really do.”
His mouth hovered over yours. “Then come with me.”
Now, you were lying on his bed, nerves prickling under your skin, but excitement humming just as loud. Spencer hovered over you, gentle and reverent.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, fingers sliding beneath the hem of your shirt, lifting it with careful slowness. “Every part of you.”
Your breath hitched when his lips met your collarbone. He kissed down, unhurried, until he reached the band of your underwear.
“Can I take these off?” he asked, voice husky.
You nodded, and he peeled them down your thighs, kissing the inside of your knee as he did.
“Just relax,” he murmured. “Let me show you how good it can be.”
He nestled between your legs, hands stroking your thighs, his mouth tracing hot, open kisses along the sensitive skin.
Then he leaned in and tasted you.
You gasped—shock, pleasure, something more. He moaned softly into you, like your body was answering a question he’d always wanted to ask.
“God, you taste so sweet,” he breathed. “I could stay here forever.”
His tongue circled your clit, teasing and soft. His hands held you firmly, grounding you, and every few seconds he looked up—making sure you were okay.
“You’re doing so good for me,” he praised, voice low. “So responsive… so perfect.”
Then one of his long fingers pressed at your entrance.
“Just one, okay?” he said. “Tell me if it’s too much.”
He slid in slow, letting you adjust, curling gently to find the right spot. You whimpered, overwhelmed by how full you already felt.
“You’re so tight,” he murmured, clearly struggling to control himself. “It’s gonna feel so good when I’m inside you.”
He added a second finger, opening you gently, pumping slow and deliberate, watching every twitch and moan with reverence.
“Look at you,” he whispered. “Taking my fingers so well. You’re gonna take my cock so well too.”
You clenched around him, and he groaned, desperate.
“Don’t do that. I’m barely holding on here.”
You reached for him, breathless. “I need you, Spencer. Please.”
He hesitated for only a moment—then nodded, carefully lining himself up and pressing the thick head of his cock against your entrance.
“You ready?”
“Yes.”
He pushed in slow—inch by inch, eyes squeezed shut like he was in pain.
“Fuck,” he gasped. “You’re so tight. So warm. I’m not gonna last if you keep squeezing me like that.”
You whimpered as he bottomed out, the stretch deep and overwhelming but not unbearable. He stayed still, kissing your face, brushing your hair back.
“Breathe,” he whispered. “You’re doing so well, sweetheart.”
Then he moved.
Slow, gentle thrusts, dragging pleasure over your nerves until your hips were lifting to meet him. His praise spilled freely—like he couldn’t stop.
“You feel so good around me.” “You’re perfect.” “Taking me so well—just like I knew you would.”
You were close, trembling. He reached between you, rubbing slow, deliberate circles on your clit.
“Come for me,” he breathed. “Let me feel you.”
Your orgasm hit fast, clenching around him, and he moaned loud into your neck, thrusts turning sloppy.
“I’m gonna—fuck—I’m coming—”
He spilled inside you with a deep, broken groan, collapsing gently on top of you, holding you like glass.
“I love you,” he whispered, still breathless. “I’ve loved you since the first time you smiled at me.”
You kissed his jaw, dizzy and warm.
“I love you too.”
#criminal minds#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut#criminal minds x you#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x fem reader
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i loved that while getting caught trope. can you do one for atsumu?
— 🌸 anon
a/n: hiiii 🌸 anon! yes ofc i love this ask!! pls feel free to send more asks!!
—
“fuck, ‘tsumu—go faster.” you frowned, breath hitching in your throat as you felt atsumu miya’s painfully slow thrusts. you felt his warm and calloused fingers play with the waistline of your panties as you were bent over for him. the rest of the team was out for a jog, with atsumu lying and saying he had to take care of something. that being you, after teasing him earlier in the day.
never in a million years did you think you would be getting fucked by the msby jackals’ star player in the damn locker room, for crying out loud. the locker room itself and probably the whole training center was quiet, safe for the incessant grunts and moans coming from the both of you, practically fucking like rabbits in heat.
you heard him let out a sardonic little chuckle before speaking out, “baby, i didn’t expect you to beg. what if we got caught by my coach? what’d ya think daddy dearest is gonna say when he sees his star player and his pretty little daughter together?”
you gasped as he went faster and got pressed against the lockers, feeling the cold metal against your hot and sweaty body all flustered. him being the son of a bitch he was, yanked at your hair, making you arch more against him. “damn you, miya! fuck—!”
you bit your lower lip in attempts to silence your whines you felt his cockhead kiss your cervix with every thrust he gave you. you felt goosebumps as you felt his fingers gracefully touch you as if you were porcelain, with them ending up kneading your breasts like dough. his lips were latched onto your hot and flustered skin, giving you butterfly kisses ever so gently while he fucked you like a vice.
“fuck—oh my god-!” you felt tears pool at your eyes as you began grinding against him, the extra friction making you feel more restless and on edge. “damn it, honey. so goddamn good f’me,” you could practically envision atsumu’s shit-eating grin as your gummy walls clamped his cock. you let out a slight cry at the feeling of your knot in your stomach becoming undone, with your orgasm coming into you like a wave.
he began squeezing and slapping your ass as he began thrusting faster. your mouth went agape at the overstimulating sensation of him. you felt like your words became incoherent as you got pressed against the lockers with more force, feeling his cock stretch you out and mold your pussy to accustom his size. you heard him let out slight curses as he filled you.
for a moment, all you felt was pure euphoria wash over you for a moment—listening to the sound of your heartbeat and the way you attempted to catch your breath.
until you heard the sound of metal doors being pushed to open and chatter.
however, you didn’t need to look at atsumu to know he had his grin etched back on his face.
“‘til next time, baby. gotta go practice.”
#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu#haikyuu atsumu#atsumu x reader#atsumu imagines#atsumu smut#haikyuu smut#anime smut#anime x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#atsumu miya smut#hq atsumu
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down bad.
in which, jude is a little bit too obsessed with his celebrity crush.
jude bellingham x singer!reader.
fc: imaan hammam.




liked by judebellingham, bellahadid, haileybieber and 8 183 018 others.
y/n: had so much fun tonight!
_
fan1: y/n you look so good
fan2: you ATE this look
fan3: princess y/n
judebellingham: 😍
fan4: of COURSE jude is in the first people to like and comment
fan5: at this point i think jude has y/n’s notifications on because there is no way
judebellingham: ofc i do!
fan6: STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS JUDE GUY OMG
fan7: y/n i’m begging you to drop another album or i’ll kms
fan8: WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO BRAZIL??
fan9: Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
fan10: marry me pls
view all comments.



liked by judebellingham, zayn, champagnepapi and 9 728 091 others.
y/n: hope you liked 'message in a bottle' and i hope the bottle found its receiver :)
_
fan1: GIRL YOU CAN’T LEAVE US LIKE THAT
fan2: WHO IS THIS DAMN SONG FOR??
fan3: been on repeat, amazing job y/n!
fan4: i missed your voice so much!!
fan5: IS THIS ABOUT JUDE???
fan6: Y/N I’LL KMS IN FRONT OF YOU IF YOU DON’T GIVE US ANSWERS
fan7: damn y’all are crazy
fan8: why would y/n write a song about a random football player?? she only dates a-list celebrities
fan9: lmao bold of y’all to assume our y/n would give time to your little jude
declanrice: please dm him y/n, he’s been playing this song every since it came out
judebellingham: IT’S NOT TRUE
fan10: abjskslslq not declan calling him out for being a fanboy
trentarnold66: i’m begging you to dm jude so he can SHUT THE FUCK UP
judebellingham: I’LL BEAT YOUR ASS DELETE THAT
masonmount: yeah we’re considering booking a therapist because he’s been crying over that song and making up scenarios about you
judebellingham: FAKE NEWS I KNOW THE SONG ISN’T ABOUT ME
y/n: it is actually.
fan11: WHAT
fan12: HOLY SHIIIIIT
declanrice: just letting you know that jude has fainted
view all comments.
insta dms.
y/n.
you really made me dm you first hm?
judebellingham.
holy shit
nah i must be dreaming rn
y/n.
haha no you’re not
so, you liked the song?
judebellingham.
y/n l/n is dming me
i must have saved a whole nation in my past life to be such a lucky mf
I LOVED IT
seriously your voice is heavenly and your lyrics always hit deep
but were you lying?
y/n.
thanks jude! about what?
judebellingham.
the song being about me, was that a lie?
y/n.
absolutely not.
i wouldn’t lie about that, jude.
this song is for and about you.
so, i heard you had to play against barcelona tomorrow, can i have an invite?
judebellingham.
you want to come?
OMG
YES OFC IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION
_



liked by y/n, declanrice, trentarnold66, and 1 728 092 others.
judebellingham: couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate tonight’s win!
_
y/n: the man of the match indeed
liked by judebellingham.
trentarnold66: WAR IS OVEEEEER
fan1: OMGGGGGGGG
fan2: i can’t believe he actually went on a date with THEE y/n l/n!!
fan3: nah man, respect to you
fan4: bellingham is on fire lately
aurelientchm: 😏
rodrygogoes: 😏😏
masonmount: 😏😏😏
toni.kr8s: 😏😏😏😏
judebellingham: i’m going to block every single ones of you.
view all comments.
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fluff#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x oc#jude bellingham fic#football#football au#football x reader#jude bellingham fanfic
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SHE CHOSE ME | LH44



type social media au
pairing carlos sainz x indian!reader, lewis hamilton x indian!reader
face claim simone ashley
summary in which you broke up with carlos and date none other than the man who stole his ferrari seat.
warnings female infidelity, toxic/hate comments idk i will add more soon
author's note this was requested on my old blog but i never get to fullfil it until now. i hope u see this anon 🙏🏽 also sorry for disappearing. i lost motivation to post.
english is not my first language. all pictures taken from instagram, pinterest and twitter. credit to owners.
masterlist
TWITTER!


INSTAGRAM!
yourinstagram
📍 Bali, Indonesia



liked by iamrebeccad, charlotte2304 and 27,936 others
yourinstagram 🌀📘💙💠🌊
view all 178 comments
user1 y/n pls tell us that popbase was lying 💔💔💔💔💔💔
user2 SHE'S FREE FROM THE VROOM VROOM GUY WE CHEER
user3 being single looks good on you 🥹
user4 use me as "we miss carlosy/n" button
user5 i refuse to believe that my parents are no longer together
user6 carlos needed you and you abandoned him
user7 user6 girl what
user8 i've always had a bad feeling about her ever since they started dating and my guts were right
user9 reminder that you people have no right to be upset about someone else's relationship and that you need to think before commenting because some of these comments are borderline racist
user10 geez louise 55 fans are insane
TWITTER!


INSTAGRAM!
f1gossipofficial


liked by ynfan1, carlosfan2 and 7,836 others
f1gossipofficial Lewis Hamilton and his latest rumoured wag Y/N L/N leaving a restaurant after having dinner together in New York.
She had just broken up with Williams' Carlos Sainz Jr after 5 years of being together.
view all 78 comments
user1 wait hold on i kinda see the vision
user2 user1 RIGHT THEY LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER I MEAN CMON
user3 this is ai btw. i say as they dragged me back to the psych ward
user4 i pretend i do not see ❤️
user5 guys they're just friends y/n and carlos are still together trust (i'm going crazy)
user6 how does lewis keep bagging these baddies bro i mean even carlos' EX???? 😭😭
user7 user6 bold of u to assume that y/n didn't willingly date lewis for his money
user8 user7 oh here we go again with the gold digger allegation
user9 carlos can't handle allat 🙏🏽
user10 user9 a baddie should be with a baddie
f1gossipofficial


f1gossipofficial Y/N L/N at the Lewis Hamilton's Ferrari garage for the 2025 Monaco Grand Prix.
view all 89 comments
user1 and the saga continues
user2 lol she probably found out that williams sucks she broke up with him.
user3 user2 ah yes let's just assume what happened even though it's none of our business shall we
user3 user2 girl you're literally on a gossip page ofc ppl are gonna assume things
user4 she has to keep the dating ferrari driver streak going on somehow
user5 she should be banned from going to f1 races
user6 user5 yall 55 fans should check yourselves into a psysh ward
user7 SHE LOOKS SO GOOD
user8 those who keep talking shit about y/n should really find some hobby cause damn
yourinstagram
📍 Monte-Carlo






liked by carmenmmundt, charlottesiine and 2,827,826 others
yourinstagram weekend well spent in monaco 🏎️❤️
view all 2,927 comments
user1 chat.... it's official i fear
user2 she's free from a vroom vroom guy only to date another vroom vroom guy
user3 user2 HELP 😭
user2 user3 well when it's sir lewis hamilton, nobody can resist ✨
user4 SHE WORE LEWIS' JACKET OH MY GOD
user5 user4 AND HIS CAP!!!!
user6 being a ferrari wag always look good on you ❤️
user7 i can't believe you would do this to carlos
user8 user7 user girl what
user9 finding another man so soon?
user10 user9 user god forbid a woman moves on
user9 user10 she cheated on carlos
user10 user9 and? good for her 🙏🏽
user11 my god these comments ain't it
lewishamilton


liked by alex_albon, georgerussell63 and 5,726,055 others
lewishamilton mine.
view all 15,835 comments
user1 wOAH
user2 THE CAPTION!!!!!!
user3 LEWIS OH MY GOD
user4 IM SCREAMISJDGSJSK
user5 I JUST OPENED THIS APP SIR
user6 yeah the girl is definitely y/n
user7 i wasn't expecting him to post something about this 😭😭
user8 he said "she chose me" ✨
user9 user8 i respect her for that cause why settle for mr four race wins when you can get sir seven times world champion
user8 user9 she saw the opportunity and took it
user10 we love a possessive lewis 🔥🔥
#redwinelewis writes 🏎️#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#formula 1#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 one shot#formula 1 fic#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton one shot#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton x oc#lewis hamilton x you#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x oc#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz one shot#simone ashley
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I wouldn't mind if you wanted to share your feelings/thoughts on the Louis matter. I always liked reading what you had to say. I did notice that that tweet seemed to be the last straw for a lot of people in terms of keeping quiet about a lot of stuff that's been bothering them for a while. Also the fact you've been sort of away from it for a while means you'd have a more balanced and less heated perspective haha
yeah, ig that's true...... i was thinking of my perspective as incorrect bc i was so far from all of it but maybe it is an advantage. most ppl here know how much i've loved louis and for how long, so it's weird for me to admit how annoyed or even indifferent i've grown towards him. what i'm gonna say now is gonna piss some ppl off but ig i don't mind, but also pls keep in mind that this is literally just how i'm feeling, one single person somewhere on this globe. at this point i wish i cared less
i know that, for me personally, it's mostly been the tone of the fandom that has turned me off, which ofc has been fed by him: pretty superficial, about his looks, that have been pretty basic. empty platitudes about life, about being authentic without actually feeling real to me. oasis without the maniacal edge (which is what makes someone like liam gallagher intriguing). back when i felt like he really was still signalling it kinda felt like not a lot of people were genuinely interested in that part of him. like. im not here to thirst at a picture of that man im sorry i don't care how he did his hair and if that's all my dash is, i'll lose interest
another major reason, as well, is that i was projecting a lot onto him: memories of how he used to be (in public), ideas of how interested he is in queer history or his queer identity, how left-leaning or anti-establishment he is, etc. and some of that might be true but i can't see it in the way he profiles himself now, and i'm over the idea that i should be seeing through three thousand layers of his 'image' to the point where there is almost nothing that indicates that i've got the story straight yk. the way he wants to be seen is not the way i see him, so then it's me who's got to move on. i've accepted that gradually now to the point where it's so obvious i was lying to myself and pretending to love him more than i did for a while there. most of all, i was waiting for him to do something else, something more. if i then get annoyed bc he doesn't fulfill those imaginary expectations i've set, then that's on me. i'm annoyed now that i was wrong, but mostly that i was a bit delusional about him for a long while
and i get closets, i get the problems of the industry, i still know all of the things i knew when i was convinced that i should stand by him/them. that doesn't mean i have to pretend i like whatever he's doing with his solo career atm. i'm not going to another tour with red/black lighting and chicago songs, i've seen it by now. at the end of the day, i'm a fan of good (live) music, and i haven't listened to his solo stuff anymore since the obsession died down.
i was letting my feelings die down quietly for a while tbh and yeah, the recent stuff has really irked me. hinting at the new album and that it's going to be basically fitf all over again, tweeting that the fandom is toxic and for what? but before all that the new 28clothing collection, accompanied by the saddest fucking interview i've ever read about someone i wish i didn't care so much about.
at this point i don't know why im typing all of this out. what is the reason. i don't mean to make anyone angry. ig i just needed to vent, let these thoughts go. anyways. if he comes back with an album that wins me over again completely, then all i can say is that i'll be extremely happy.
#i'll leave it there#who knows what the future will bring#kind anon#discourse#if this brings anons to me#please just come talk to me about interesting and fun things#i will gladly talk about old queer signalling like. anything
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can i request a burger with “can i play with your hair?” and “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone that you like to be the little spoon.” with sirius pls
yes ofc, hope u like it lovely!
jolie's summer kickoff a 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐫 fresh off the grill ⋮ aka a short blurb contains: sirius black x reader
Today was too beautiful a day not to call off work and spend your time basking in the sun with your boyfriend. You’re still in that sweet honeymoon phase of your relationship, so when Sirius calls with the idea, you don’t hesitate to clear your calendar.
You arrived at his flat a few hours ago, where he lost track of time kissing you against the kitchen counter before finally leading you up to the roof. You were a bit skeptical watching him pick the lock, still getting used to Sirius’ knack for getting into trouble. But stirring up a bit of trouble was well worth the beautiful morning this has become.
You’re lying face to face on a blanket and pillows stolen from his bed, takeout containers from your lunch discarded to the side somewhere. Sirius had your favorite meal and ice cream sundaes delivered, somehow managing to convince both delivery drivers to walk up the full flight of stairs so that Sirius didn’t have to leave you.
With a full belly and the buzz of a sugar high, you lie happily tangled in Sirius’ arms, giggling every time he brushes his nose against yours.
When Sirius squirms for the fifth time in under a minute, you realize something is up.
“Everything okay?”
“My arm’s falling asleep is all,” he says, brushing it off.
“Oh, turn over.”
Sirius furrows his brow, not moving, so you nudge his shoulder until he faces the other way.
“Better?” you ask, wrapping an arm around his middle.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, holding a hand over yours. You feel Sirius instantly melt in your arms, sighing like the weight of the world just slid off his shoulders.
“Oh,” you utter quietly, amusement laced in your tone.
“Hm?”
There’s a hint of teasing in your voice as you reply, “You like being the little spoon.”
“What? No,” Sirius denies urgently, as if his manhood had just been questioned. “I just—my arm was falling asleep!”
You roll your eyes. Boys.
“Shush,” you say, pressing a kiss to the blush creeping up his neck. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you like to be the little spoon.”
Sirius sighs through his nose, his shoulders relaxing again as he gives in to your touch. Truthfully, Sirius cannot remember a time he’s been more content than he is right now. The feeling of your body pressed firmly against his back and your arm snug around his waist seems to ease every worry he’s ever had. Heal every wound. Calm every fear.
“Can I play with your hair?” you whisper, unable to resist his dark locks splayed out on the pillow you're sharing.
“You don’t have to ask,” Sirius replies.
You twirl strands of his hair around your fingers, mesmerized by how soft it feels. Sirius is practically purring when you start to drag your nails across his scalp, massaging the crown of his head.
“You’re gonna put me right to sleep if you keep doing that,” he practically moans.
You giggle, kissing his shoulder, “S’okay. Let’s take a nap,” you offer.
Sirius wants to refuse, intent on staying awake and cherishing his time with you, but his already heavy eyelids have other plans.
It’s the first time he’s ever slept next to you, and it’s completely dreamless. No restlessness, no nagging thoughts—just deep, uninterrupted sleep. The most peaceful sleep he’s ever had.
Later, he wakes up with a sunburn stinging his skin. But he doesn’t care, because you’re still here. And you’re his.
#jolie's summer kickoff#sirius black x reader#sirius black blurb#sirius black fanfic#sirius black blurbs#sirius black#sirius black fluff#sirius black drabble#sirius black drabbles#sirius black fic#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#marauders#marauders fanfic#marauders blurbs#mischievousmoony
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