#plus it’ll be neat and tidy which is nice

[kikidewynter]

guy who has spent the last few days brainstorming killbane & angel lore: hi

[wheresmynaya]

Lost in the Lights Ch.18|Brittana

A/N - Just a little something that yall might find some comfort in today so I’ve written a short epilogue. I’m not usually one for fluff, but I figured we might need it. I’ve always considered writing as something I can do to uphold Naya’s legacy because Santana is apart of that legacy and here, she’s always living her best life.

Thinking of you all today 💙

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & under the cut!

Once again, Brittany finds herself standing alone in her bedroom surrounded by boxes. It’s a little weird seeing her room looking so bare, but this move doesn’t drudge up the same kind of mournful feelings the last one did. This time there’s excitement, there’s anticipation, there’s –

“Hey B,” Santana gives a little tap at Brittany’s bedroom door. “Need a hand?”

Brittany turns to find Santana giving her that same soft grin she has come to adore. She’s leaned against the door frame, clad in her jean cut-offs and a plain t-shirt, and Brittany’s never been so enamored.

“What?” Santana’s grin widens.

Brittany smirks, “Can’t I check out my hot girlfriend?”

Santana rolls her eyes although her cheeks flush, “Smooth as ever.”

“You know it,” Brittany winks before she goes to zip her suitcase. “You’ll be happy to know that I’ve finally finished packing my room. It’s been a super productive afternoon.”

Santana sputters out a laugh as she glances around Brittany’s bedroom. The walls are bare aside from a couple framed pictures Brittany couldn’t find it in herself to take down. The desk by the window is neat and tidy for once too, but what makes Santana stop are the two gold crowns hanging off of one of Brittany’s football trophies.

“Not taking these?”

Brittany turns to find Santana pulling one off and putting it on. She looks just as regal as she did on Prom night and it makes Brittany’s heart feel so full. She can’t help but reminisce at how beautiful Santana looked all done up – she really took her breath away that night.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” Brittany teases, “Too bad Quinn will be at Yale. I’m sure she’s going to miss the constant reminder that we won instead of her and Mike.”

“I can still text her,” Santana quips as she takes off the crown and sets it down where she found it. She goes back to looking around the room again, “It doesn’t look like you in here anymore.”

“Yeah,” Brittany sighs as she looks around too. Her eyes settle on Santana and she begins to grin, “But it’ll be so much fun decorating our own place together. It’ll look like the both of us.”

“True,” Santana grins, “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither!”

“I can’t believe how fast the year went by,” Santana mentions, “It feels like just yesterday that I was jumping off swings with you.”

“You mean head-butting me?” Brittany jokes.

“That too,” Santana laughs, “And now we’re off to college…together.”

“Not just yet,” Brittany reminds her with a pat to her suitcase.

“That’s right,” Santana nods to it, “That everything?

Brittany looks down and smiles, “Yup!”

Santana eyes the lone bag warily, “You’re only bringing one?”

“We’re only going for two weeks,” Brittany replies with a giggle, “You’d be surprised how much I fit in here. Bikinis don’t take up that much space which is a plus.”

She looks to Santana again hoping to see a smile but instead she finds her worrying her bottom lip. It makes Brittany chuckle as she closes the distance between them. Once she’s close enough, her hands land on Santana’s hips.

“Don’t stress,” She tells her sweetly, “That defeats the purpose of a vacation.”

“I’m not stressed,” Santana shrugs, “I’m just wondering…if I packed a little too much now?”

Brittany only giggles before pressing a kiss to Santana’s lips.

“You’re cute,” She says.

Santana only sighs through her smile, “Can you tell I’m a little nervous?”

“A little?”

Santana pouts, “This is my first big road trip. I didn’t want to forget anything.”

Brittany wraps her arms around Santana, holding her close, “I’m sure you’ve got everything and if not we can always buy stuff. You know Florida does have a mall, right?”

Santana was a little hesitant about joining the Pierce Family on their vacation back down to Florida for Summer break because she didn’t want to intrude on their family time, she’s so considerate like that. Brittany couldn’t imagine spending two whole weeks without her though, even Pete and Whitney begged for Santana to go.

Plus, it was the perfect opportunity to show her around Brittany’s old stomping grounds and most importantly, take her to one of her favorite places. With all of that taken into consideration, Santana couldn’t find it in her to deny Brittany this. She also didn’t mind getting out of Lima for the Summer, beats tanning by the pool alone.  

“Babe, this is going to be great,” Brittany says earnestly, “It’s going to be relaxing and we’ll get to spend so much time together doing all kinds of fun things. It’ll be exactly what we need before we have to leave for Columbus, because you know once we get there it’ll be all work. I’ll have to start football training again and you’ll have cheer conditioning.”

“You’re right. Ohio State doesn’t mess around,” Santana nods as she begins smiling again, “This’ll be great. I’ve never been on vacation like this before.”

“Neither,” Brittany grins before grabbing her suitcase again. “Let’s go. We’ve got a lot of road to cover.”

\\

Brittany and Santana decide to drive Santana’s car down to Florida ahead of Whitney and Pete who are catching a flight a couple days later. They take several pit stops along the way, making sure to snap silly photos by all of the state line signs so Santana can text them to Maribel and Hector to keep them updated on their adventure so far.

It probably takes them twice as long to make the trip, but it’s well worth it when Brittany gets to watch Santana’s eyes brighten as they finally cross the Florida state line.

“It’s so much different than Lima,” Santana says as she stares out the window at all the passing palm trees, their fronds waving hello in the warm breeze as they drive by.

Brittany only glances over with this cheek-bunching grin before she’s back to concentrating on the road ahead.

\\

A while later, they pull up to the rental Whitney organized and this time Brittany’s the one who’s in awe.

“No way!” She exclaims as she triple checks the address her mom gave.

“What is it?” Santana questions.

“I used to point this house out all the time when we lived here,” Brittany tells her, “Pete and I called it the Unicorn House because of the pink shutters and the baby blue door. We always thought it was so cool, the most colorful house on the beach. I had no idea it was a rental!”

Santana smiles, “Well let’s go check it out.”

Relieved to stretch their legs and really start their vacation in the sun, Santana and Brittany make quick work of unloading the car and moving everything inside. Just like Brittany figured, the inside of the house was just as cool as the outside. All modern fixtures, colorful artwork decorating the walls, but the real attention-grabber was the view.

“Wow,” They said in unison as they approached the back sliding doors that led out onto the terrace. It was nothing but white sand and clear blue water.

“Let’s open it,” Brittany says and goes to pull open the glass door. There’s a light breeze and the scent of saltwater. Brittany smiles into it; she can’t believe how much she’s missed this.

Lima’s been great to her, it’s the place she met the most perfect girl ever, but this place will always hold a special spot in her heart too. As she glances to her side at her girlfriend, her smile grows because now she gets to share it with her too.

“What do you say we make a quick run to the shops so we can have breakfast out there?” Brittany suggest with a grin, “We can unpack and stuff later.”

“Sounds awesome,” Santana replies, “When’s your mom and Pete flying in again?”

“Tomorrow afternoon,” Brittany says as she gives a little tug at Santana’s shirt, “We’ve got the whole place to ourselves until then.”

Santana’s grin widens, “Even better.”

\\

They decide to load up on fresh fruit, because after so many hours of fast food and gas station snacks they are dying for something healthy. Together they walk the aisles hand in hand, stopping every so often to add something to the basket Brittany carries.

It’s not their first trip to the store together, but it feels different this time knowing that it’s just them. Everyone they know is back in Lima, so doing something like grocery shopping together in Florida makes them feel so grown up and independent.

For a second, Brittany wonders if this is what it’ll feel like once they move away together for college. She’s sure the novelty of it all is bound to wear off the more they do it, but for now she leans into the excitement of it. The thought makes her feel giddy inside because she can’t picture herself doing such a routine thing with anyone other than Santana.

“Should we get anything else?” Santana wonders after adding a punnet of blueberries to the basket.

Brittany looks at their haul so far and shakes her head, “Nah. We can just order take out later if we want?”

Santana nods and they make their way to the check out lane.

\\

Back at the rental, Santana’s in the kitchen getting all of their fruits washed and cut up when Brittany reappears clad in her bright pink bikini.

“Okay! Your turn,” She calls out as she makes her way into the kitchen.

Santana does a quick glance up to reply then does a double take when she sees what Brittany has on. Her jaw drops at the sight and she nearly cuts off a finger!

“Woah,” Santana says in time as her eyes rake up Brittany’s tone figure, “I was not prepared.”

“Should I put on a shirt?” Brittany jokes.

“No, no,” Santana’s quick to respond, “No shirts. You can stay just like that.”

Brittany blushes as Santana continues checking her out. It makes her feel warm all over and a little confident too because usually Santana’s the one getting her worked up. It’s a nice change when the tables are turned.

“So, you want to go change and I’ll finish here?” Brittany asks.

Santana’s still staring as Brittany comes closer. She doesn’t even blink until Brittany’s tapping at the bottom of her chin with this smug grin on her face.

“Hmm?” She hums, “What?”

“Do you want to go change now?”

Santana smirks as she pulls Brittany in and pins her against the counter, “It’s not really the first thing on my mind right now.”

“Oh?” Brittany’s grin turns devilish.

Santana bites her bottom lip as she plays with the knot at Brittany’s hip. “The extra football training you’ve been doing is really paying off. Like I’ve always thought you were the hottest girl to ever walk the surface of the Earth, but damn.”

“Go change,” Brittany tells her with a giggle. “We’ll never get to the beach at this rate.”

“Fine by me,” Santana teases as she wraps her arms around Brittany’s waist and starts littering her neck with soft kisses. “Like so fine by me.”

Brittany struggles because having Santana’s lips on her is always kind of like kryptonite, but her desire to experience Santana’s first trip to the beach outweighs spending the rest of the morning wrapped up in bedsheets. Call her crazy, but they’ve got all day to mess around meanwhile the sun’s only out for so long.  

“Baby, as good as this feels,” Brittany sighs as she pulls away. She stares down at Santana lovingly, “I really want to take you to the beach first. Just you and me.”

Santana cutely pouts and it has Brittany giggling.

“Come on,” She says with a little pinch at Santana’s side, “I think it’ll be worth it.”

“I think it opens up lots of opportunities to be a tease,” Santana complains jokingly.

“Good thing we won’t be far from here then,” Brittany winks in return.

\\

Once Santana finally got changed, she met Brittany back in the kitchen where the blonde had packed a bag with their breakfast and a couple bottles of water along with their beach towels. Brittany had her sunglasses sitting atop her head, her long blonde hair free from its messy bun from earlier.

“Ready?” She asked excitedly.

Santana only grinned as she reached for Brittany’s hand to hold and together they made their way down the wooden terrace steps until their bare feet met warm sand. Brittany was already headed for the coastline, but Santana stopping held her back. She turned, wondering if Santana forgot something, when she realized it wasn’t that at all.

Santana never felt the feeling of sand between her toes before.

A smile formed on Brittany’s face as she watched Santana wiggle her toes. It was only for a moment, a little excited squeak of a giggle escaping the brunette before she looked up again – ready to go. Brittany only wrapped her arm around Santana’s shoulders, kissing the top of her head as they started to walk again.

Picking the perfect spot was always something Brittany took pretty seriously, but on this section of the beach – any spot was perfect. They were just far enough away from the popular areas so it wasn’t too crowded where they were.

“I’ve never seen water so blue,” Santana admires as she stares at the crashing waves. “Beats the lake in Lima.”

“Definitely,” Brittany chuckles.

They end up laying out their blanket a few yards away from the water so they don’t have to walk very far to get in. While Santana smooths out the blanket, Brittany sets down their bag and starts to pull out their towels and breakfast.

Together, they sit side by side and share from one bowl Santana found in the kitchen. It’s a mix of all the fruit they picked up earlier and with their feet in the sand and the sound of the waves and seagulls in the distance they’ve never felt so at peace.

“Is it true that you have to wait thirty minutes after eating before you can swim?” Brittany wonders aloud. She’s resting back on her elbows, her legs outstretched but she’s still too far away to touch the water.

Santana shrugs, “I have no idea. Probably should though just to be safe.”

“True,” Brittany grins as Santana lies back too.

She’s already starting to tan and Brittany can’t take her eyes off of her. It’s almost like this is too good to be true and she finds herself reaching out to touch just to make sure.

\\

Once their thirty minutes are up, Brittany’s on her feet trying to coax Santana into the water but who knew she’d put up such a fight?

“We didn’t come all this way to just sit in the sand,” Brittany teases as she tugs on Santana’s hand, “Come on.”

“That water is about to be cold as hell. No thank you!”

“Hell isn’t cold, Santana.”

“You know what I mean,” Santana then gets up when she finally breaks out of Brittany’s hold, “Now way I’m getting in.”

“But it’s not even cold,” Brittany replies although she’s not really sure since she hasn’t tested it for herself. “Why are you picking right now to play hard to get?”

“You haven’t seen nothing yet!” Santana jokes before taking off.  

Brittany laughs the whole time as Santana ducks and dodges her advances until Brittany’s speed finally does her in. Soon she’s got Santana cradled in her arms bridal-style, carrying her towards the water like she weighs nothing.

“Britt! Brittany! Don’t you dare!” Santana chastises between laughs, “I don’t want to get my hair wet!”

Brittany only stomps her way through the water, “Who goes to the beach and doesn’t want to get their hair wet? That’s silly, San!”

“Me, that’s who!” Santana giggles but she stops putting up a fight and just wraps her arms around Brittany’s shoulders.

Their faces are so close with the way Brittany holds her that their noses brush when the blonde suddenly looks to her. Really, she’s checking if Santana’s actually being serious because if so then she’ll happily take her back to shore but if not it’s fair game. Instead though, she gets sidetracked by the brilliant smile she wears and how beautiful she looks with her hair down.

“I won’t get you wet if that’s really what you want,” Brittany says innocently but there’s a mischievous glint in her eye too.

She’s standing still waist-deep in the water and Santana’s butt is barely touching the surface. Brittany does her best to hop so that the incoming waves don’t splash her which is pretty nice of her with all things considered. She could totally be that person and drop her without a second thought.

“Well, when you say it like that…” Santana starts to smirk.

Brittany lets out a laugh before she leans in for a kiss.

It was meant to be a distraction, but it ended up way steamier than she intended as she slowly  sank to her knee so that they both dipped below the surface. She could feel Santana’s teeth sink into her bottom lip from the initial shock of the water temperature but then it was soothed by her tongue gliding over the nip.

“See?” Brittany teases, “Not that cold.”

Santana only rolls her eyes as Brittany adjusts her hold. She goes from cradling Santana to having her straddle her lap instead. It’s a much riskier position than before, but neither of them complain.  

As they get acclimated to the water, they slowly move from kissing to playfully splashing at each other as they wade around. They go back and forth like that for awhile until they move back to the shore to get their tan on.

“I’m having slight regrets that we’ll be going to school in Ohio,” Santana mentions awhile later as they lie on their stomachs, “Must be nice living close to a beach.”

Brittany grins, “So you’re liking your first trip then?”

“Baby, I love it,” Santana replies happily and leans over to kiss her cheek, “And I love you.”

“I love you too,” Brittany coos before she gets to thinking, “If you love it that much we can always transfer down here? I’m pretty sure there’s a few schools here that would love to poach me. You too.”

“So tempting,” Santana chuckles.

\\

They lie like that for awhile longer before the sun gets to be a little much and they head back to the rental.

It’s one of Brittany’s favorite feelings, that tiredness after spending the day at the beach, and she coaxes Santana into the shower with her to get rid of all the sand and saltwater. Despite finally getting each other this close without any barriers between them, they’re both too tired to actually make any moves.

Instead, they take turns standing underneath the cool water and washing off any residual sand.

Afterwards, they slip into something loose and tumble into bed with a yawn. They don’t even bother getting under the sheets first, their sun-kissed skin still warm from the shower. The just cuddle up to one another and doze off within minutes.  

\\

Hours later, Brittany awakes to Santana tracing her finger along the bridge of her nose. She blinks away the last bit of sleepiness and looks around the room, surprised to see it drenched in hues of orange and gold from the setting sun.

“I think you might’ve gotten sunburnt,” Santana mentions softly, “Your cheeks are a little pink.”

Brittany touches them bashfully, “Yeah. They do that after I’m out too long. Doesn’t hurt though, I put on sunscreen before.”

“Okay,” Santana smiles as her hand moves to rest on Brittany’s hip.

The blonde looks to the window, “What time is it?”

“Almost eight.”

“Shit,” Brittany curses, “I didn’t meant to sleep for that long.”

“It’s okay. You were tired,” Santana replies as she starts circling Brittany’s hipbone, “Hungry?”

There’s a familiar rasp in Santana’s voice and it has Brittany leaning in ever so slightly. She knows that tone, she’s been quite familiar with it since the night she won a championship title with the Titans. It’s come to be a favorite of hers.

“Starving,” Brittany smirks.

Santana bites her lip, “Good.”

“We can order a pizza,” Brittany husks as she slips her thigh between Santana’s, “I know just the place. They’re notorious for taking way too long but the pizza manages to always be hot still.”

“Perfect,” Santana smirks before she’s closing the distance.

\\

The next day, they have a bit of a sleep in due to their…activities carrying on pretty late into the night. Free house to themselves? Of course they couldn’t pass up the opportunity, but they’re well-rested and get up to do a tidy of the house before going to pick up Pete and Whitney from the airport.

Again, Brittany feels that same feeling from the day before when she and Santana were out shopping for breakfast. She can’t help but notice how easy it is for them to fall into such a domestic routine. It makes her feel so grown up, like it was just a couple weeks ago that she was graduating and sure she’s always been pretty independent but it’s different with Santana by her side.

When they get to the airport, they’re only waiting for a little while before Pete’s excitedly waving at them with Whitney trailing behind him. There’s hugs all around when they finally meet before they make their way to baggage claim.

“Did you have fun on the plane ride over?” Santana asks Pete.

“It was okay,” Pete shrugs, “Kind of bumpy but mom let me play games on her phone.”

“Nice,” Santana grins.

“Yup! Did you have fun driving here? Wait, did you guys go to the beach already?” Pete asks as he looks to his sister, “Britt’s cheeks are pink.”

Brittany’s eyes widen, “Uh…”

“We might’ve gone for a little bit,” Santana admits and watches Pete start to frown. He was pretty adamant about them waiting for him but Santana’s quick to recover, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t go again today! You’ll have to check with your mom first.”

Pete’s face fills with a mega-watt smile, so similar to Brittany’s it’s crazy.

“She’ll totally say yes,” He tells Santana, “Mom loves the beach too!”

“Sweet,” Santana grins.

“Alright, we just need to pick up the rental car and we’re out of here,” Whitney says as Brittany follows behind with Pete’s little suitcase.

“You didn’t have to rent a car,” Santana tells her, “I told you I was okay with sharing mine.”

“You’re too kind, honey,” Whitney smiles, “But I’m sure you girls will want to explore the area too.”

Santana just nods as Brittany comes up beside her, their fingers twining so casually.

“Speaking of rentals,” Brittany mentions, “I can’t believe you got the Unicorn House! It’s so cool.”

“We’re staying at the Unicorn House?” Pete asks eagerly. Brittany nods to him and he just about combusts, “No way! That’s the coolest house on the beach!”

“Totally,” Brittany winks, “It’s even cooler inside. Just you wait and see.”

\\

They all head to the rental house and it takes everyone no time at all before they’re making their way out to the beach. Everyone except Whitney who runs to the store for snacks and something to eat for dinner because apparently they can’t have pizza two nights in a row despite Brittany and Pete’s protesting.

Again, it’s nice to just lounge in the sun and cool off in the water whenever they want. Pete’s here too while Whitney’s at the store and Santana watches adoringly as he and Brittany toss their favorite football back and forth.

“Babe! Come play with us,” Brittany calls out to her as she tosses the football to Pete in a perfect spiral.

“Yeah! Come play, Santana!” Pete chimes in.

“I’m fine getting my tan on from here,” Santana answers then starts to smirk at Brittany. The way her muscles tense whenever she throws the ball or how her arms flex, it leaves Santana’s mouth dry, “The view’s not so bad either.”

Brittany lets out a laugh as she readies for Pete to throw the ball back. She’d have to agree about the view though, hers isn’t so bad too with Santana laid out in her maroon bikini on their beach blanket, skin glistening with sweat. She swallows dryly as her thoughts start to wander to the night before.

“Britt!” Pete shouts, “Look out!”

Brittany looks up and catches the football just in time before she’s thumped in the head with it. Good thing her reflexes are as sharp as ever!

“Careful baby,” Santana smirks before she’s rolling onto her stomach to even out her tan.

Brittany only narrows her eyes playfully before she’s throwing another perfect spiral in Pete’s direction.

\\

Once Whitney joins them, Pete goes from playing with Brittany to splashing in the shallow water with their mom. Brittany sits alongside Santana where they both share a bag of chips and watch Pete’s splashes get bigger and bigger.

“You’re so cute with him,” Santana mentions.

Brittany raises her brow, “Speak for yourself.”

Santana lets out a disbelieving laugh, “Right.”

“You are,” Brittany urges with a bump to Santana’s shoulder, “He loves spending time with you. Not as much as I do, of course.”

“Of course.”

“You ever wish you had a younger sibling?” Brittany wonders.

“God, no. Never,” Santana jokes before softening, “But seeing you two kind of makes me second guess it. Then again, Pete’s cool so you’re lucky.”

“True,” Brittany giggles. There’s another pause before Brittany speaks up again in a softer tone, “Thanks for coming out on this trip with us. I know you were a little iffy at first, but it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Thanks for inviting me,” Santana replies with this smitten little grin on her face. “We should totally make this an annual thing.”

“Coming back here?”

“Yeah,” Santana nods, “It’s like our reset button. No matter how busy or crazy it gets wherever we are, we can always come back here and just – reset. It would be nice.”

Brittany starts to smile. Santana mentioning doing something every year means she anticipates them being together for a really long time which duh but making plans like that in advance makes it all feel a little more real. She always thought her strong feelings might’ve been a little exaggerated since they’re young and love always feels so all-encompassing, but then Santana goes and says something like that.

This love, it’s bigger than she thought. Maybe it’s even one of those forever kinds of love and that kind of thinking makes Brittany happier than ever.

“We can totally do that,” Brittany agrees before she leans in for a chaste kiss. She can feel Santana smiling too against her lips and she’s never felt more complete.

Whatever this upcoming year plans to throw their way, whether it be on the field or in the classroom or even at home, Brittany’s totally ready for it.

Because together, well…anything is still possible.

[gasp-iwrotesomething]

How about G26, G27 and R5 for Cal, please and thank you.

No problem, @jewalsgem​​! Thanks for taking the time to send in a request and I hope you enjoy!

G26: “I was on the fence for a while but I’ve finally come to the conclusion that… you’re brutally wrong.”

G27: “That’s bold coming from someone with a pretty generic fashion sense.”

R5: “It’s not everyday someone manages to make (Caleb North) swoon.” “What can I say? You’re a rare specimen.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What does Caleb North do when he’s losing in a card game, you ask? Well, he bluffs--and he bluffs hard.

He’ll have his losing cards stuffed in his hands and a determined, smug expression, his blue eyes alight with the promise of winning. He’d remark about how little he’s trying and how hard MC seems to be playing, when in reality, he was the one who was desperate to win. Cal was swindling her, obviously, but MC wasn’t that gullible. She didn’t fall for his show of sportsmanship--MC was playing to win, not build relationships. Rapt for victory, MC dishes out a red seven and sends Cal a challenging brow arch. “Your move.” Cal returns her challenge with an equally cocky smirk. He flicks a card from his lofty hand and it flutters onto the growing pile, and MC groans once she realizes it’s a red skip. “Yes, my move, oh, and my move again,” Cal tosses down another skip, this time blue, followed by a blue three, “well, would you look at that? Looks like you’re not as untouchable as you think.” Cal bluffs, laughter twinkling in his eyes. If she wasn’t seated at the opposite side of the table, MC would’ve jabbed her fist into his shoulder blade--how dare he skip her back to back like that? 

“Never said that. Just said that you have no hope of winning against me, that’s all.” She shuffles through her deck as she scoffs, fingers sifting through the many choices. Down to just five cards against Cal’s whopping ten, MC could play a couple different cards, all with varying outcomes. Two threes and a wild card, hmm... what should I play next? MC selects the one of the yellow threes that she had, considering that a majority of her cards--excluding the wild card--were yellow. She adds the card to the pile and Cal makes a thoughtful noise, his eyes narrowing as he examines his hand. Ha. Got him. “Drawing again, are we?” MC suppresses a snicker at the glower on Cal’s handsome face as he reaches for the drawing deck. That had been the third time in just ten minutes and probably the next beginning for his wealth in cards. “Yeah, yeah, make fun of me all you want. I’m gonna get you after--what the hell?! Where are the yellows?!” Cal’s rebuke is intercepted with his frustration of finding no compatible cards three cards deep. MC can’t help it this time; she snickers behind her petite supply of cards. Oh boy, I almost feel bad for him--having to lose so pitifully. Finally, after plucking three more cards to add to his deck, Cal finds an appropriate card and angrily throws it down; a red three. He slumps in his chair a little, eyes cast to the side; sulking silently. MC plays her second three, which is yet another yellow three. She almost felt bad for playing it on poor, yellow-less, three-less Cal... until out of nowhere, the gunslinger plops down a draw four card! Her heart just about stops in her chest. What?!

“Gotcha,” he preens, “thought you had the advantage, huh?” His words causes the pieces in her mind to click and she scowls--it was all a part of his grand plan, wasn’t it? “I think I’ll go green this time...” Cal then slams down a green plus two before MC can even draw, his complacent grin somehow even more annoying than stacking a plus two--which is what Cal does. He adds another green plus two which ups the amount of cards MC needs to draw to a staggering eight. Now Cal had as many cards as her: thirteen to thirteen. Welp, guess we’ve got another half hour to go before anyone wins. “You... you filthy, slimy, snake! Can’t you just play without being such a buzzkill?!” MC snarls. She hated how he always seemed to have the upper advantage, so when he suggested a card game to pass the time, MC had been eager to show him that there was some things he couldn’t be king of. But now that starting motivation fizzles out into frustration as Cal smiles at her, eyes wickedly gleaming with pride. Doesn’t he look pleased with himself... it’s okay, he can have his those five seconds of gratification. They’ll be his last once I win. “Come on, MC, don’t be such a sore loser,” his pure blue eyes hungrily follow her hand as she collects the eight cards he tolled her, “it’ll already hurt your pride enough to watch me win.”

“You’re going to eat those words, Caleb North.” She states as she shuffles her larger deck of cards, prepared to see his downfall.

...Tch.

“I was on the fence for a while but I’ve finally come to the conclusion that… you’re brutally wrong.”

Just ten minutes later and Cal was on Uno, while MC still had four cards to use; all useless as Cal plays his final card. The trick shooter had won. “I win and you don’t, just like I promised would happen earlier.” That accomplished grin on his face... MC really wanted to swipe it off--why’d he have to draw a plus four when she was on Uno just a minute ago? MC rolls her eyes and glares at him pumping his fists in the air. “That’s bold coming from someone with a pretty generic fashion sense.” She snipes defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. It was something that came out of her naturally, like an insult ingrained in her system that was ready to be weaponized at any time. Maybe I’m bitter, but that was such a dumb game. I think I have a right to be bitter. Cal takes the ramshackle pile of cards--with his winning card on top, rubbing his victory all in her face--and clacks them against the tabletop to fix their disorder. A knowing grin climbs his mouth. “Going after my looks now, huh? You really are a sore loser...” He trails off as he absently organizes the cards in his hands, so graceful that it made MC’s aggravation heighten. She just about explodes. “If being angry that your opponent is a tryhard and doesn’t play by the rules makes me a sore loser, then hell yeah I’m a sore loser!”

The table rattles as she limply throws her arm down on the surface and Cal hisses. “Hey, not so hard! You wanna lose a table while you’re at it?!” Even through his frustrated reprimand, MC could sense the cocky aptitude lacing his words--it left something unsaid. She could almost guess what he was about to say. “...cause you seem like you’re losing a lot today.” Cal mumbles under his breath, the cards in his hands slowly assembling into a neat, flawless stack. She kicks his shin from under the table just to watch him yelp. “Ow,” he sends her a pained glower as he reaches under the table to touch his shin, “the hell was that for?!”

“You know what that was for, jerkface,” MC matches his indignant expression, teeth gritted, “you didn’t have to be so mean about it, you know. Not every victory has to be a jeering contest.” Her eyes soften. The truth of their banter had just dawned on her--they were fighting over one little card game. If this sets them off, how in the hell do they get along day-in and day-out? Maybe it was a cheap move to morph this banter into a lesson but MC didn’t really care; maybe a cheap lesson is what they needed. Cal, still massaging his aching shin, sets his pristine pile of cards aside and reaches for the drawing deck. He notes the reflective expression on MC’s face and sighs quietly. “Now you’re reminiscent, huh? What’re you thinking now?” His voice is gentler when he says this, gaze sweeping over MC as if checking for an unseen injury. The gesture, however insignificant, tugs at MC’s lips. It was nice to see that his ego hadn’t blotted out his thoughtful nature. She fidgets with her jacket’s zipper, her ankles crossing then uncrossing and crossing again as she thinks of what to say. Maybe she was thinking too much these days, maybe that was her overall issue. “Well, I don’t know, I just... I guess I’m being harsh. We both are. That’s not like us.” MC confesses, low and timid, as if her words could shatter a bond that had lived for so long. 

She was being precautious again, wasn’t she? Careful to not strike a nerve in Cal or stub her own interests, dipping her toes in just enough to judge her next move. Maybe that was something she needed to work on in the future. Or maybe she didn’t, if Cal didn’t mind. Since when did I consider changing for Cal’s approval? Something must be in the air. In front of her, Cal’s eyes become thoughtful as they scrutinize her features. Like hundreds of times before, MC felt the magnetic pull of his eyes, how the blue seemed to yawn out for her to drown in--a sea of emotion that she wanted to be in the waves of. That same blue softens as Cal rests his chin in his palms, cheekily smiling a lazy smile. The posture reminded MC of someone whose charmed--but that couldn’t be true. Cal, charmed? Only myths spoke of such a thing. “Worried about us, huh? Here I was, thinking you were the most bitter loser this world has ever seen-” a frown spreads over MC’s features that has Cal hurrying to finish his thoughts “-and here you are, proving that you’ve got enough heart to take an L.” He smooths a hand through his windswept hair with another sigh as MC smiles to herself. I think the translation of that is that I’m right. “No one likes a sore loser,” MC agrees, watching in awe at how his fingers’ prowess seemed to melt the cards all into one tidy stack, “so I’d rather not be that kind of person, you know?”

Cal slides the deck he’d just organized to the side, nodding his head. “Figured. You’re not the kind of person that’d fit in those shoes too well.” Again, just like before, Cal’s tone is delicate and observing and nearly fond. That made her heart jump a little in her chest, pumping just a little harder than before. Perhaps she was jumping to conclusions and this next sentence would be the biggest regret of her life, but...

“It’s not everyday someone manages to make Caleb North swoon,” she braces her elbows on the tabletop and leans forward slightly, “I think I’ll go down in history as the first.”

...what was the worst that could happen? Except being teased and embarrassed daily by the person it was directed towards, of course. MC can’t help but suck in a breath and hope that she didn’t just screw anything up. Her sights were on the word ‘swoon’ and how effortlessly she used it, like she was exposing feelings even she didn’t know of herself. Cal’s eyes flicker up to hers, amusement dancing within their depths, before he slants back against his chair with a faint scoff. “Tch, you really make it easy to hate you, MC.” The trick shooter licks his lips--a brief action that catches MC’s attention. She could feel heat creep up her neck at how quickly she latched onto the movement, almost like she’s touch-starved or something. Which I am definitely not! Nope, not at all, I get touches all the time from gorgeous gun-wielding assassins and this isn’t totally taboo! 

“But what can I say? You’re a rare specimen.”

Uh-oh. Here comes the second wave of embarrassment ready to swallow me whole... As discreetly as she can, MC fans her face before the blood can rush to the surface while Cal’s miniature, practically affectionate smile pushes her into his spotlight. ...What is composure again? I forgot what it meant again.

Needless to say, MC left Cal curious and baffled, her feelings starting to wrap tighter and tighter within her chest. Soon the strings would get knotted and twisted, then what? How could she decipher the warmth she felt in Cal’s presence?

And most of all, what ran through that boy’s head when intimate moments like the card game happen between them?

What was he thinking?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you again for your request! I loved writing this for you!

If you want to request something, here’s the Prompt List, here are the Guidelines, here’s Who I Write For, and here is where you can Request me.

[neon-grimoire-blog]

Job Interview - The Best Way to Dress

Job selection interviews are important for both you and the actual employer, making sure there is a mutually beneficial match for both participants. The business has reviewed your own cv and has already assessed you possess skills for the job. The interview therefore acts to allow for more expansive debate and clarification upon any details. The personality and cultural fit of the potential employee are key decision factors in the job interview. If you need to interview with a recruiting agency or perhaps the corporation's HR team first, do know that their thoughts are essential. Be sure your outfit works well together. Possessing all of the correct wardrobe pieces is all well and good, but if they don't coordinate, they are basically worthless. Stick with basic clothing as an alternative to fashion items. You will definitely get a lot more use from particular garments that will partner well together with basically anything and everything. Far more trendy and fashionable things are generally more challenging to couple with other clothing collection items. You might want to choose to wear a formal suit to interviews. A darkly-coloured suit along with a light coloured shirt is your best choice. Be sure that your suit fits and is not causing agony if it's much too restrictive, or else it'll be distracting for you. Some outlets supply cost-free alterations when you purchase a formal suit, otherwise you may choose to find a tailor to alter a suit that you currently own.A sports blazer is a practical substitute should you not possess a formal suit. That said, it ought to be basic and even subtle. Don it along with black, gray, navy or perhaps tan slacks plus a white or maybe blue dress shirt and a neck tie. As just stated, make certain every little thing fits effectively. If it fits well, you are likely to look impeccable and function your very best. It's the difference between donning some sort of suit with confidence, and trying to fit oneself into the same suit that you dressed in for your graduation. Pick your favorite suit inside your current wardrobe. Make sure it's tailored. Solid hues or perhaps pinstripes, and in sound condition. Skirt suits really should be knee-length and never too tight. Classic ties tend to be most appropriate. Absolutely nothing much too flamboyant or far too vivid, although I am a fan of a gorgeous printed neck tie. Save loud neckties for immediately after the interview. A white colored shirt or perhaps mild blue shirt which in turn contrasts with the suit should really be chosen. Long sleeved shirts tend to be preferable. Bare arms is regarded a lot less professional. Combine your formal suit with a button down long sleeve dress shirt ideally If patterns aren't too daring, chances are they usually are acceptable. White colored is definitely the go-to shirt color, however light blue works well. If you select white along with fine pin-stripes or just plain white, you are aware that you don't face the chance of offending the interviewer's personal taste. Your belt really should match ones boots or shoes. Don't end up being perplexed questioning what colour shoe to combine with the navy blue formal suit. Some sort of darkish brown or preferably black color natural leather shoe ought to be put on. A good general guideline is that the footwear colour should really be more dark than the formal suit. Pick the right shoes or boots for the role. First and foremost, when it comes to men's leather shoes for a job interview, choose mens black oxford shoes. You'll find out a little more about men's leather shoes here. Business formal positions all require high quality footwear, typically made from leather (or similar high-quality materials). Men should always put on formal shoes, often from the brogue or oxford type. Lace-up is more classic. All things being said, you can put on a leather loafer to great effect within a formal setting. Adhere to black footwear or dark brown if you need to. Low-heeled footwear is suitable for a girl.Choose to wear longer socks. Reasonable colours are usually black color, dark greyish as well as dark blue, ordinarily.

Keep accessories modest and simple. For your professional look, women of all ages should remain faithful to simply a smattering of makeup and just modest and also uncomplicated necklaces. Absolutely be sure to clean teeth before the interview, and stay away from cigarette smoking as well as drinking coffee drinks immediately before. Shower or bath the actual morning of your job interview. Stick with subdued scent, if any at all. never overpower the actual interviewer by using powerful or offending cologne. Be cautious and steer clear of fragrances totally. Make sure your hair is definitely tidy and cut. And be sure you shave. Facial hair wearers ought to make sure their particular face is at the very least really clean. Remember to brush nice hair and check in between your pearly whites. For fine measure, maintain a compact grooming kit in your pocket for almost any last minute scenarios. Be sure that your finger nails are neat and cut on the actual early morning of your interview. Fingernails and shoes tend to be the first things that people begin judging you on. If the job role is actually professional, continue to keep tattoo designs covered. Remove piercings as well. In the employment interview, don't just concentrate on the interviewer. Eye contact is key with everybody. Body language is paramount. Have good posture even if you aren't conversing and make use of understated gestures to show that you are being attentive and also attentive through the job interview. Don't forget however that you're also deciding if you'd like to work for the firm. You are together signing a legal contract of understanding. You ought to ask sufficient questions for you to understand if the business is a great fit for you or otherwise not. Do not invariably rely on the headhunter to give you this info. It truly is acceptable to ask such questions in the interview.

[florablume]

“what’s the point of making the bed if we’re just gonna mess it up?”

“Because it looks nice and neat and tidy.” Flora replied as she finished straightening up the scatter cushions she’d already added to Henry’s bed since moving in. Slowly, but surely, she was trying to de-batchelorise the whole place, adding her own little accents, touches and furniture gradually to each room. In her mind, she was simply trying to soften his apartment’s hard edges. “Plus, if we have guests over and they come into our room for some reason, then it’ll always look its best.” He gave her a quizzical look and shook his head. “What possible reason would anyone have to come in here?”“I don’t know, but at least if they do then they’ll know we’re tidy.” She replied, now busying herself with moving the clutter from her nightstand. “You care way too much about what other people think.”“No I don’t, I’m just... house proud. That’s all.” She shrugged. “I care a reasonable amount what other people think. Don’t you?”“Not as much as you.” Henry shook his head, sitting down on the edge of the bed as he watched her tidy up. Her magazines were going into the bottom drawer while her book rested in pride of place next to her alarm clock. 

“Well,” Flora turned to face him and gently booped his nose, “one of us has to keep this place looking good.”“I was doing fine before you moved in.”“You had a cleaner.”“Who was very good at her job and saved me a lot of hassle.”“This place doesn’t need a cleaner, Henry.”He patted her ass and threw a cheeky smirk her way. “Not any more, because I have you.”“Uh, watch it. You’re skating on thin ice, Dunne.” That didn’t stop him from grinning. If anything, it made him grin even more. “Am I?”“You know you are.” She bit back in her best warning tone, which apparently didn’t work on him at all. “Flo, honey, you missed a spot.” Henry pointed to nothing in particular on her nightstand, and was just trying to wind her up. It worked, and she turned to check before realising his little game, then picked up a scatter cushion and hurled it at his head.

[fernlander]

garden journal #1

first day of hard landscaping -- so early this year! yesterday, jason said “spring’s come so late!” and i almost did a spit take. dude, it’s a crazy early spring for 2022, way earlier than last year and even last year was pretty early. thanks, global warming. i did a little comparison with this year and last year’s butterbur in the same stage of growth and this year they are a WHOLE MONTH EARLY!

A MONTH! but at least that gives me an extra month in the dirt. i have already taken two token swings at a few little spots where i felt the inspiration -- the feverfew stalks that i never cleaned up before winter is plucked down to a tidy state and the “new” garden by the electrical pole got some grass removed (but i’m always so nervous to disrupt the blue eyed grass i transplanted there that nothing ever really gets done. i should really stake it or transplant it again so that bed doesn’t become more of a lost cause than it already is!)

today i tackled the feral blackberries on the way to the river. another one of last year’s tasks ~i never got around to~ before the snow flew. generally, the task in the bramble patch is to cut back the spent flowering canes and any canes that got bent and broken by the snow pack. last year’s first year canes become this year’s berry producers and leaving the spent canes in the patch makes it harder to maintain and keep looking neat. i also needed to clean up the devil weed that i stupidly let go to seed due to my laziness (dang, i really need to figure out what that blasted weed is called). 

so off i went into the prickers, fully suited up -- two pairs of pants, sweatshirt and jacket, hat plus all the hoods up, and gloves, of course -- with my clippers in hand when something strange happened! the normally rugged, well-rooted blackberries that i wrestle with every year just started to easily come out of the ground! 85% of the plants i tugged at popped right up with their enormous, gnarly root systems attached. that kinda got me jazzed so i ended up pulling out both patches on either side of the path. 

not exactly the plan, but not exactly a bad thing either. i won’t get any blackberries there this year, and worse, no flowers, both super whimsical characteristics of the “path down to the river”, in my opinion, but it’ll really give me a chance to reset that area which is particularly important this year so i can stay on top of devil weed germination. and it’s not like i came anywhere near to eradicating the whole patch, brambles being what they are, so there will still be on track for fruit next year, if i want. 

i don’t actually know what i want there. i mean, i do know -- coltsfoot and ferns surrounding the lilac bush on one side and a small, whimsical patch of berries on the other -- but that area has always been such a hellscape of brambles and goldenrod and avens it’s just hard to stay on top of once the beautiful ferns pop up and i’m loath to disturb the area. 

i gave the area a solid rake after, trying not to feel bad about all the insects still overwintering in the litter, and it’s looking pretty nice. the lilac is ENORMOUS this year! i’m so happy i invested in it four (maybe five?!) years ago. i remember it was kinda pricey but i was so sick of being in lilac poverty when the season hit and having to smell ~other people’s~ lilacs that i just couldn’t resist, immediately feeling kinda bad about the splurge when i planted it among the brambles i struggle to keep up with. but it took to that spot like a champion and is over my head now! and adds a nice little touch to the path and rocks whether or not i’m on top of maintaining the area. plus blooms, of course, lots of blooms. 

(that’s the same with the forsythia too! my parents have huge forsythia bushes, so to me it’s not spring without them, and the little plant i bought (around the same time, i think?) has REALLY outdone itself. it’s gigantic, has beautiful yellow bark, and makes that part of the side yard where i put it look more intentional with it’s dramatic, weeping branches. it clearly loves where it is and i cannot wait to sit in the hot tub while it’s in bloom and admire it. 10/10 plant.)

meanwhile, two tiny crocuses are up in the yard (those bulbs did not thrive since i planted them eight years ago, but some still persist), earlier than the newly planted ones at the grove. i almost had a panic attack looking for signs of them, on my hands and knees scouring the area until i finally saw ten or so tiny, tiny bundles of their succulent green leaves poking up. snowbells, pussy willow, and butterbur are up and the salamanders are rustling around between the receding ice on the pond and the shore.  

of course, once i rip the bandaid off and start the season, the jobs and tasks just start and don’t stop til winter. it’s intimidating and probably why i waited a luxurious three days from when the rain and cold and frozen ground let up before i went at it for the first time. already, the tasks just flood into my mind, each competing for priority and pleasure. 

here’s what’s on deck for early, early spring season clean up:

- rake out the yellow flag irises by the pond - cut back those suddenly huge trees growing in the butterbur patch (like where did those come from!) - finish tidying the back side yard?? how much further is necessary? - do i need to do anything about the slope beyond the hot tub? - cut the ash by the stone wall alllllll the way back - might as well tackle the brambles growing in the snowdrops while i’m in bramble eradication mode - tidy the “new” garden by the electrical pole - rake out the lily of the valley - stake the snowdrops so i don’t forget to separate the bulbs in early summer!!

oh my. 

and that’s just tasks i want to get done before things start growing in earnest. thankfully, it felt every bit as good as i hoped it would. it was just as hard, just as dirty, just as interminable, just as fun, and just as rewarding as i remembered it would be. 

my body is already worried about the monumental season in store! naturally, when i said those blackberry roots just “popped” right out of the ground, they still needed some solid pulling and grabbing and torquing and tearing, and they put up as good a fight as they normally do, scratching up my nose and impaling me with plenty of thorns for my troubles. by the end of the two plus hours i spent going to town on those canes, my hands were tired of gripping, my knees were screaming, my face was bloody, and i was drenched with sweat. an absolutely splendid way to spend the first landscaping day of the year! 

[hellomissmabel]

We are your family

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Stucky x plus size!reader

Warnings: cheating, hinting towards self harm and a polyamorous relationship (this is not my usual jam but the story is open to interpretation. With this story I felt comfortable writing it from this particular point of view, but I won’t write this subject again I think). Platonic love between Steve and Y/N. Romantic love between Bucky and Y/N and Bucky and Steve. Basically, everybody loves Steve.

Word count: 1.768

Summary: When Y/N broke up with her long-term boyfriend Colin Shea after he cheated on her, she was in a very bad place until she fell in love with Bucky. Steve and Bucky have been talking about kids for a long time now but things always got in their way. Flashforward to 2 years later, Y/N is moved in with Bucky and Steve and they’re ready to take the next big step in their relationship, a baby.

A/N: I’ve posted a masterlist with all upcoming plus size!reader fics. I keep getting new ideas, so this masterlist will be updated as the ideas come and go. There will always be an announcement post. If you want on the tag list, please comment on the announcement post of send me an ask!

Dedicated to @mrshopkirk. Sarah is @iwishyouwouid, Lisa is @heartmade-writingbucky and Emily is @emilyevanston

All plus size fics can be found here

“So how are your new roommates?”

“Ugh, they’re amazing,” you sigh into the phone, drawing a small laugh from your best friend. “A big improvement!”

“I bet they are,” Sarah chuckles knowingly, “You broke up two years ago, Y/N. It was about time you moved out. Also, Lisa wanted me to tell you that Emily moved out, too.”

“Yeah, they told me during our weekly coffee chat. Lately Colin’s been pushing everyone’s buttons. He’s gone on a late night drag three times in a row now.”

Your best friend scoffs and you can imagine her eyerolling from the other end of the phone. “Anyway, about my roommates,” you speak animatedly, twirling around the kitchen as you hold your phone between your cheek and your shoulder, making sure you don’t drop it as you prepare your lunch.

“They are really sweet and when I moved in they held this kind of housewarming party with the entire team. You remember Bucky, right?”

“Let me guess, he’s tall, dark and handsome? Exactly your type?,” Sarah pokes you gently. Juggling three oranges in your hands, you carefully place them on the counter so you can prepare some orange juice later for yourself and your roommates.

“Shut up, Sarah. Sounds to me you’re describing that actor you’re currently crushing on. What’s his face again? Oh, yeah, Sebastian Stan,” you playfully jab back as you heat up the waffle iron. “So Bucky is the guy with the metal arm,” you comment casually, the lively tone to your words prompting a hearty laugh from your friend.

Since you finally pulled the plug on your miserable post-break-up life with Colin and moved in with your boyfriend at Stark Tower, Bucky is all you’ve been talking about. Sarah is actually one of the few people that are in the loop about your special arrangement with Bucky and Steve and she supports your decision, even though it was a bit of a shock at first. She would’ve never have pegged you as the type.

“Every Sunday he gets up early to make us pancakes. And Steve always makes me a cup of tea before bed.”

“Uhu, sounds like a real dreamboat to me,” Sarah confirms softly when you’re struggling with the batter for your waffles, eventually getting it right by adding some more milk to the mixture. “But I still can’t believe you’re actually living at Stark Tower now, with the Avengers, sharing an apartment with Captain America. Even if you and Bucky have been dating for a while now.”

“They helped me back on my feet, Sarah. I was a real mess after Colin and I broke up. He cheated on me with a model he picked up on one of those parties he got invited to. Do you realise how ridiculous that made me look?”

You sigh softly, running your free hand over your face in reminiscence. “I’m a plus size girl with a hot boyfriend who just happens to be an up-and-coming musician, which was already a big enough scandal because God forbid a handsome man is in love with a girl that isn’t a size two!”

“I’d still be heartbroken and pining over Colin if I didn’t spill my pumpkin spice latte all over Bucky. I’d still be miserable and living at his place, suffering through countless nights of loud sex and beautiful girls moaning his name. I’d still hate my body and harm myself if it wasn’t for Bucky and Steve,” you jump to their defence, pouring the batter in the waffle iron with a sad smile.

The first two waffles are usually a bit of a hit and miss, so you quickly throw them in the garbage bin and make yourself a second pair of golden-brown waffles. As they are sizzling in the iron, you lean against the kitchen cupboards and take a sip of your coffee.

“Yeah, I know, sweetie, I know…”

You bake a neat pile of waffles while you continue to gush about your roommates to your best friend. Another half hour passes and you feel your phone bill tugging at your wallet, so you promise Sarah to call her same time next week.

“Sarah?,” you ask her, your tone suddenly turning serious. “About their proposal… You think I should say yes? I mean, Bucky is just the best boyfriend ever and Steve is… well, he’s Steve Rogers!”

“Y/N, you obviously trust Bucky. You’ve also already seen each other naked, so it won’t be awkward. But it’s a big step and it’ll change your entire life.”

With great care your arrange the table, making sure it looks nice and tidy before you cut the oranges for the orange juice. “Yeah, I know. But I feel like I’m ready. And Bucky and Steve will be there for me, too, of course.”

You’ve just finished dividing it over three glasses when Steve enters the apartment, drops of sweat glistening on his forehead from his morning workout session at the park.

“Good morning, Stevie!,” you greet the blond with a casual wave. “I gotta go, Sarah. Steve has arrived,” you say goodbye to Sarah.

“Good morning, Y/N!,” he replies with a beaming smile as he pecks your cheek and heads for the shower.

“I’ve prepared breakfast!,” you shout after him, grounding some more coffee for when Bucky comes back home from his mission. He’s been gone all night and even though he told you not to worry, that it’s just standard procedure and nothing bad will happen, you can’t help but concerned.

Over the sound of the shower, you can hear Steve yell a sincere thank you. “You are an absolute doll, Y/N.”

Not long after Steve has emerged from the shower and the coffee is ready, Bucky joins the two of you. He looks exhausted, dark circles hugging his red-rimmed baby blues. Bucky rubs his eyes and smiles softly as he sees all the effort you’ve made to put together a cosy breakfast.

“You shouldn’t have, babe,” he thanks you as he kisses the tip of your nose before sitting down.

Steve secures his towel around his waist and wanders to the kitchen table, taking a seat opposite Bucky. You sit down on the empty chair next to the brunet and he snakes his metal arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. “I’ve got something to tell you,” you announce softly after clearing your throat.

The table falls silent, Steve pausing mid-bite and looking at you in great anticipation. Bucky is the one to break the silence first, albeit involuntarily, as a small moan slips past his lips as he tastes your homemade waffles. “Sorry babe but these are amazing!,” he chuckles as he takes another forkful.

“It’s okay, you dork,” you say as you bump his nose. “So I first wanna say that I love you guys and that I’m really happy I moved in. So after much thought and consideration...”

The tension is palpable and before you speak again, Bucky gently rests his right hand on your knee. “I asked you because I love you. I’ve always loved you,” he says sincerely as he squeezes your knee.

“First as a little sister when you were at your worst and we nurtured you back to health. Then as a friend when you started dating Bucky and now…” Steve releases a deep sigh, searching your eyes.

“You know that my feelings for you… they transcend the boundaries of a normal friendship. I care so much about you, Y/N. You are smart, beautiful and funny. You are my dream woman and that’s why I’m asking you to be the mother of our child.”

“Oh Steve,” you blush lightly as more words of praise reach your ears. Bucky chimes in, telling you how he, too, has come to love you just as much. Both men voice their love for you and it makes your heart grow warm and fuzzy.

“But I’m nothing special,” you chuckle softly, “I’m just a girl with curves.”

“No, Y/N,” Steve immediately interjects, “You’re a gorgeous full-figured woman and I can’t imagine a better mother.”

“Thank you, Stevie,” you smile kindly at him. “But you don’t need to convince me anymore. My answer is yes. Yes, I want to have a baby with you and Bucky.”

Bucky bursts out in happy laughter, hugging you affectionately as soon as you’ve said those last words. Steve joins Bucky in his endeavour and wraps his arms around you, too. “I’m kinda nervous, though. I really want a baby but I’m so anxious I won’t get pregnant. I don’t wanna disappoint you guys. The baby will share Bucky’s genes and mine…”

You turn your head and your gaze crosses Steve’s baby blues. “But it’ll be your baby, too, Steve.”

“You will never disappoint us, Y/N,” Steve whispers into your hair before pecking the crown of your head and kneeling next to you, his eyes still locked with yours. “Yes, genetically the baby will be yours and Bucky’s. But that doesn’t mean I won’t love it any less.”

“I’ve always wanted a child so bad. You know, a family of my own,” you whisper through the happy tears trickling down your cheeks. “And I thought that Colin would be the one for me but then he cheated on me and I saw my dream vanish into thin air, to the point I completely obliterated myself just to please him…”

Your breath hitches in your throat and Bucky’s tender lips kiss your temple, rocking you softly. “He can’t hurt you anymore, love. You don’t have to go back. You’ve got us now, honey,” Bucky assures you, smiling down at you. “We are your family.”

“We’re in this together, Y/N,” Steve adds to Bucky’s pledge as he presses his forehead to yours. “We love you so much, doll.”

It’s unconventional, this little family of yours, but it feels so right. Bucky has always loved you and Steve fits into your world so perfectly you honestly can’t remember a time you didn’t know him. But Steve is still Captain America and the world looks up to him, so it won’t be easy to keep your relationship away from prying eyes.

Bucky has already vowed to cut back on missions once you’re with child, and he will retire as soon as the baby is born so he can devote all this time and his full attention to your little one. Meanwhile, Steve will gently ease the public into the thought of Captain America passing the shield along to someone equally worthy so that in the end, all three of you can watch your baby grow up.

Tagging: @avengerofyourheart @a-little-hell-to-raise @marvelingatthewonder @mrshopkirk @hardcorehippos @knittingknerdy @winterboobaer @italwaysendsinafightt @viollettes @hymnofthevalkyrie @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @austinamelio @volklana @4theluvofall @themcuhasruinedme @theoneandonlysaucymo @caplanbuckybarnes @nenyakj @amrita31199 @emilyevanston @minervaem @howlingbarnes @buchananbarnestrash @youandb @you-and-bucky @fvckingsteverogers @thatawkwardtinyperson @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @marvelrevival @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @mellifluous-melodramas @its-not-a-phase-hux @melconnor2007 @ivvitm1109 @toofuckinfabulous @ailynalonso15 @hollycornish @delicatecapnerd @camigt1999 @learisa @curlyexpat @palaiasaurus64 @fanndas-snow-goddess @crisssivonne @yourenotrogers @tomhollandzs @supernaturaldean67 @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @aletheladyinred @beyondbarnes @xbergiex @reniescarlett @promarvelfangirl @capbuckybuchanan @lovemarvelousfics @riskybarnes @yknott81 @rrwilson66 @pegasusdragontiger @mizzzpink @salty-holographic-stickers @sammyissassy @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @kudosia @bellejeunefillesansmerci @lumelgy @southernbellestatues @daringtodreamawake @neurotic-narwhal @cokamarie24

Tag list for all plus size stories: @suz-123 @kiwi71281 @whatisaheroanyway @ilovebeingjoyful @veronicalei @meganlane84 @thescarsweleave @isaxhorror @pleasantdreamqueen @georgiadean37 @revlismoriarty @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @evyiione @salamander-falls @taylorjacksonandtheolympians @jughead-wuz-here @jasmineladjevardi @sonofadeanwinchester @3dsaunt @marvel-at-bucky @nothin-after-79 @sexy-sea-basss @shesmade0fcandy @breezy1415 @wtfisalltherandoms @mrs-dr-strange @disneymarina @secondsandstars @brandybucky

We are your family tag list: @isnt-the-blog-youre-looking-for @iamwarrenspeace @hi-my-name-is-riley @georgiagrl1990 @magellan-88 @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @mo320 @imsupernaturalbaby @wolverinesgirl14 @dsny87 @kudosia @wildestdreamsrps @s7sense @jesspfly @chubisgirl @peppermint-teas

Strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you!

[schizophelia]

March 25th, 2018: Journal

Haven’t done a journal in a while so I figured now would be the perfect time for it.

Okay so explaining last night: So last night a friend started talking to me on Facebook. That was fine, whatever. And then shit went down and I don’t know if I can explain it properly without it getting confusing. But I shall try. So anyway, he started talking to me. He’s really nice and that wasn’t the issue. Now I’ve know this friend for about 2-3 years so deep down I should have known to stay away that night but I didn’t because I didn’t want to be rude. He started talking to me and he brought up the topic of religion. At first I was like, okay, this is fine. But then he said that I should tell the voices “I command you to leave in the name of Jesus Christ.” I told him something like that won’t work and that I’ve tried telling the voices to leave me alone. Now him saying that to me really bothered me because I had vision (”hallucination” is what my friends called it) of Jesus when I was in the psychiatric ward back in September-November. If you’ve followed my blog long enough you would know that I was told, during this hallucination, that I was to lead the people…. that I was the messiah. And so this whole topic of religion brought these “delusions” (is what my friends call them) up again and I couldn’t make them leave. I was hearing voices like crazy and then he brought up the topic of demons and said the picture of shadow demons I draw looked like the demons that came out of him in hell and holy shit that just sent me for a downward spiral. At that point my mind was racing kilometers a minute and I couldn’t calm myself down and last night I didn’t sleep worth a damn and ugh.

Needless to say, I’m so fucking exhausted. I’ve been apparently hallucinating things all day. Voices and whispers, video game sounds, the monster, Nietzsche the dog (the golden retriever that I never ever talked about), etc. Like it’s been a wild ride today. Plus I’ve been having all the same delusions from last night on top of my usual ones. I can’t even begin to explain how frustrated and tired of this shit I am. But like, I feel like my team won’t help me. On the topic of Nietzsche, he is a new animal that I see as of like a week and a half ago maybe? I’m not entirely sure how long I’ve been seeing him but anyway, he’s a golden retriever and he’s so fluffy. I took a picture of him but my friend said there was nothing in the frame. I don’t really have the artistic ability to draw him either. But that’s okay. I hope most of you know what a golden retriever looks like. I’ve also been seeing a black rat. I named her Kateri. So now I have 4 rats, 3 rats, and 2 dogs that I see on occasion. I know they’re not real because my friends tell me they’re just hallucinations. But they look real and they move like real animals so sometimes I get confused. These animals are the highlights of my day. They make me happy because everything else makes me miserable.

Yesterday and today we celebrated both of my brothers’ Birthdays. One of them turned 20 on the 17th of March and other turns 23 on the 29th of March. One of my good friends had her Birthday today but I didn’t go because I wanted to spend time with my brothers. We had chocolate cake and we had a special dinner tonight which was good because normally we don’t eat the greatest because everyone is always busy doing something. But they will be home again Friday for the weekend. 

Yesterday I got my hair trimmed for the first time in about a year. It’s not that much shorter. Our usual hairdresser said she was surprised to see how long my hair was and that soon it’ll be down to my waist. Yesterday and today my mom and I deep cleaned my room. I mean we went through all my books, nightstands, all my containers, some of my makeup, etc. I’m so glad everything is neat and tidy but now I don’t know where everything is because everything was in its spot but now it’s not. I don’t want to ruin our hard work. I’m surprised how well I did. I hesitate before throwing things out because I think I’ll use them again when in reality I don’t. My mom made me sort through all my tea too. Which was fine. Some of it went to my aunt across the road. 

Tuesday I see my social worker at the psych clinic at 10am and honestly I have so much to talk about. I haven’t really been doing the greatest and she was supposed to talk to my doctor about everything and I don’t know if she did. I hope she did because I’m supposed to meet with my doctor on Wednesday at 11:30am. Which I think is a mistake because the doctors at the hospital where I see my doctor normally does 3rd floor rounds on Wednesdays… unless he wants to talk to the other doctors about me. I hope that’s not the case; I don’t like it when doctors talk about me behind my back. Honestly, I hope my doctor helps me this time. Because honestly, I can’t keep doing this. I’ve been living with it like my doctor suggested. I’ve been trying to ignore it… like my doctor suggested. It’s not getting any better. It’s not getting any easier. I’m too scared to go outside by myself for goodness sake! How am I going to handle school like this? I feel like I keep slipping even further and I can’t make it stop. It feels like something is always happening to me. 

I’ve been on the 9mg of Invega for like 2-3 months. If it was going to do something it would have by now. My friends think I should try Clozapine. My doctor has mentioned it before… but only in a negative light. He said it’s a nasty drug because of its side effects and stuff. But I have friends that are on it and they say it’s really helped them with their psychosis… so I don’t know. Every medication has side effects. I just want my life back. I do have a confession to make though…. I haven’t been taking my medication properly for the past 2 days. I’ve been taking it really late in the day. Like I’m talking between 1:30pm-4:30pm when it should be taken around 8:30am-10am (whenever I wake up). The reason why I’ve been taking it too late is because the voices have been telling me not to swallow any medication because it’s part of the government’s evil plot to get my special powers. But, my friends always talk me into it so I have been taking it. Tomorrow I’m going to take it properly. I’m going to try to be good. I hope I can take them and ignore the screaming and yelling caused by the voices.

I’ve been both agitated and tired all day. I’ve been banging my head against the wall to try to make the voices shut up… all to no avail. I don’t know why I’ve been getting agitated and restless. Probably because I didn’t sleep well last night after having decent night’s rests the previous nights before the last. I hope I can sleep tonight. I took my Temazepam and I’m ready to go to dreamland.

Anyway, I’m signing off for the night. I’m exhausted. I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.

Meds: Invega 9mg Fetzima 80mg Temazepam 15-30mg (taking 30mg)

[ancientbrit]

Natter #  18  08/28/2016

Subject: MI MG Natter #18 Date: August 28, 2016 at 11:06:25 PM PDT Nice day at the Market (20th August) - cool to start (three layers on) and warming up by 2pm. Clients were a little scarce - only 26 this week, but that's okay. Lucy, Karin, Ira and myself were able to pass the day quite comfortably between clients considering plant ID, diseases etc. All very entertaining. An interesting development was made public this week when WSU announced the formation of a "Honey Bee & Pollinator Research Center." This seems to me to be something that has been necessary for some considerable time now, so lets hope that maybe something positive regarding CCD comes out of it's formation, I am in the middle of lifting my onion crop and there are some good sizes there, although the biggest are yet to come - 'still squeezing the last scintilla of growth out of the ground. It'll be interesting to see if I beat my two year old record of 3 1/4 lb (for one bulb). And just over there are my Leeks growing away. They went in a little late this year because I grew them from seed rather than starts bought at the F & G Show in February. I may have mentioned in the past (several times I hear you say) that I love the Potato/Leek soup that Jean makes. Very hearty and with a chunk of home made bread - a meal fit - for me at any rate. Jean has just made a new batch of the soup, but as my leeks are nowhere near ready she had to buy! Sacrilegious, but It got me thinking.'Doesn't happen very often I admit, but when it comes to spending money, my Grandad's Scots genes rear their collective heads, as it were. A packet of Leek seeds will generally yield let's say 50 seedlings. The packet will cost about $3. Planting takes little time and as long as the plants are watered and weeded they should produce 50 grown leeks weighing around an average of 11ozs each at least, which equals 34lb 6ozs. Jean had to pay $3.19 a lb, so they would have cost the equivalent of $109.65, instead of which the cost was $3 plus a little work!  No wonder my Grandad loved Leeks! Shallots are basically similar. To buy they are expensive. To grow from seed is as easy as onions and leeks. What's not to like? Life is starting to warm up now with the Hot Plants & Cool Topics event just around the corner. My previous panic when I thought that we were going into the event plant poor, has been solved, as Portia has something like 500 plants which were remaindered from the Spring Sale, plus others from MGs. Today, it was suggested by a Landscaping friend that I contact a few local nurseries as a non-profit to ask if they would care to donate a few plants to a good cause. This is something that she has done rather successfully in the past, as Nurseries at this time of the year are attempting to unload stock for the Winter - which is one of the reasons we decided to hold this event at this time of the year in the first place! A natural fit, so I will be running this up the flag pole to see how it waves. One other item that we will probably adopt, will be the chance for the students to order Spring Bulbs from Brent & Becky's Bulb Nursery. As we have Joan Helbacka lecturing on this topic it seems that this chance would be a good fit - almost necessary to fill a need following the lecture I feel. It should work rather nicely I think and it goes something like this:- I give B&B our non-profit details and they give us a code number. The attendees at Joan's lecture then order from their B&B catalogue as individuals, quoting our code number and submit it along with the money. ��B&B then ships the order directly to them and within weeks we are credited with the difference between retail & wholesale prices. Today (27th) I gave my penultimate class for the year (at least as far as I know yet!) It was held at the BDG and 40 people turned out - I was quite amazed  as I had only taken sixteen handouts, but  it was comforting to see several old friends there. Wendy gave me a nice introduction (which I been asked to write. All rather embarrassing to hear what I had written a few weeks back.) It all went off rather well I have to say and I managed to put in a plug for MGs to get enthusiastic and keep on propagating to establish a cadre of decent plants from which Plant Sales can be fed. For the demo I had taken a slightly older Weigela which needed some pruning to shape it and get it to bush up some. I was able to demonstrate how to increase stock by making cuttings of all the prunings, which were then stuck into one of Alison's 'Forsythe Pots' which I had demonstrated earlier. All neat and tidy. Since this is the second year with taking Weigela cuttings & pruning them, I am almost awash with them. If I can only delay their blooming time next Spring by a week to coincide with the Spring Sale, they will sell like hot cakes. Today (28th), and our stall location was changed yet again. Not to worry, we were placed in the middle of the north side and the four of us (Carin, Lucy Janet and myself) had a rather busy day - in fact at times it got to be frantic. Dealing with one client, then jumping to another, then another and having to remember what had been said to the first so that samples could be packed to send in to the lab. At times we were all busy at the same time and I have to say that without the use of cell phones we would have been snowed under. It is obviously the way of the future, although I can't see getting rid of all books. There were four plant samples brought in and one sent to the lab for ID. For the second week now we have had clients ask about getting rid of Japanese Knotweed, with two today, one of which was apparently quite extensive. There are several locations on the Island which are posted by the City forbidding any digging or cutting of the weed. The only thing we can do is to advise clients not to do anything similar, but to contact the City. I have spoken to several city people about this and the action they take is to use a patent sort of hypodermic syringe to inject a specific herbicide into each stem - I assume that it is a systemic. The herbicide used is not available to unlicensed users, so absolute control is maintained. One other question being raised is non-fruiting plants - grapes, apples, and others. I myself have three plum trees that I planted almost nine years ago. One, a Damson has always produced great crops from the get go. The other two have never produced more then 48 on one tree and six on the other - usually far less. All the trees produce masses of blossom together and for three years I installed two blocks of Mason Bees within 10 - 15 feet. I am used to plums producing masses every year without a problem. I have checked with Raintree, the suppliers, but the only thing they had to offer was to wait - I don't really think they knew. The problem for me is that they are taking space that could be better used and i find the whole deal rather frustrating. The grapes we were asked about are three years established, are pruned correctly  and are very healthy, putting out the usual exuberant grape Spring growth which is kept in check. The only thing we could come up with was the possibility of excessive Nitrogen in the soil, so as a start we suggested he have his soil tested. He will keep in touch to let us know how things go. Bed calls. Goodnight! Your fearless leader, Gordon

[markleetrashh]

The Truth;Haechan

Sequel to Woke Up Alone

Genre: angst/- (a mixture tbh)

A/N: had this sudden idea to the fic and i hope it’s good! this came out longer than i expected and i spent 3 hours on this oh my, plus i think i’d have to make a part 3 to this because the ending- enjoy reading and tell me your opinions guys

Warnings: contains events which may be disturbing/uncomfortable to others (death, divorce etc)

Word Count: 3,839

——

Your thin and frail hands reached for the cold, metal knob of the door. The door where the one you loved the most, the one who brought you happiness, spent most of his time in.

The bedsheets were left untouched on the bed, a soft toy bunny; the one you got for him, sat lonely in the corner. The books on his table were stacked neatly, his phone and wallet placed against them.

Letting out a sigh, you closed your eyes as you tried your best not to let your emotions take over.

2 months

He has been gone for two months.

You couldn’t bring yourself to accept it. He wasn’t there to brighten up your day anymore, and instead, you felt worst than before.

Spending weeks in the hospital due to the accident, it was nothing as compared to the emotional pain you had suffered; over the loss of Haechan.

Mrs Park had tried to make things better- taking time off the cafe to spend time with you, making sure everything was fine, and trying her best to distract you from your thoughts and emotions.

But it did not work. Every single time you closed your eyes, all you could think of was him.

How he managed to put on a front when he was with you, and how he managed to put your problems above all of his sadness, just to make you feel better about yourself.

You hated yourself more, for being so selfish, and not asking Haechan once about his problems, assuming that he was the happiest person on earth, able to brighten up everyone’s day.

You hated yourself for not being able to see the emptiness and sadness that was in Haechan’s eyes from time to time, where he’d just blank out and get all quiet, with you brushing it off that he was just tired.

But did it even matter now? He is gone anyways.

A huge part of you couldn’t bring yourself to enter his apartment even once, after he had left and after recovering fully from the accident. You couldn’t bring yourself to see, hear, or smell anything that was related to him; you knew you would break down.

But day after day you found yourself missing him more, and you wanted to keep and cherish everything of him that was left.

It was the closest to him that you could get.

So after weeks of deliberation, you finally had the courage to visit his apartment; the place where the two of you shared fond memories in.

Nothing much had changed, and surprisingly, everything was neat and tidy, the same way it always was, even before he left.

Your heart ached a little as your eyes met the many photos of the both of you that were pasted on the whiteboard hanging on his wall, alongside with the many different pictures of his favourite singers, the big and familiar “Hyuck’s board of motivation!!”

A small, slightly torn, yellow book sat atop his bedside drawer.

Curious, you stepped forward to lift the book up gently, examing every detail of the cover.

Opening the book, you were greeted once again by his handwriting, alongside with a few cute little doodles, “Haechan’s Thoughts”

You raised your eyebrows as you noticed the date of the very first page - 28th March 2014. He’d been writing all of these for quite some time now.

The thoughts and things you never once knew about Haechan; you could understand him better now, through the endless amount of words he had written throughout different phases of his life.

——

• 17th August 2014 •

He hasn’t been back for exactly 4 months now, and i’m afraid to even think of the reason why. Mom’s been acting really distant lately and every time i mention about him, she’d get all worked up and vent her anger on me.

But i don’t blame her, i could never. She had done so much for me and all i can do right now is to support her. I knew something was up when i heard the two of them arguing and getting worked up over one another months ago. I just didn’t expect it to get this serious.

Yet as much as i try to make her feel better, it never works. And it hurts me. The strong woman whom i look up too is now quiet and emotionless. Our relationship has only worsened since the day he left.

On a bright side i managed to make a new friend today. A transfer kid all the way from Canada! That is so cool. I really hope we’ll become closer, he’s one of the nicest people i’ve ever met.

I hope tomorrow will be better, and that i wake up with a smile on my face, with mom being able to finally let go. Good night 11:56PM

You furrowed your eyebrows as you continued reading on, immersed in all his thoughts, as though they were all stories slowly unfolding.

• 2nd October 2014•

One of the days i’d never forget, but also, at the same time, the day i want to forget the most.

It’ll only continue to haunt me for the rest of my life.

I’m completely alone now. I never once expected mom to leave too.

She promised me she’d only get betted and stronger a few weeks back, but the divorce letters from the mail hit her strong again with a huge impact, and all i can remember is the sight of her breaking down and losing all hope at once.

The last thing i received from her was a short letter she had placed on my table, before she supposedly left for work, before i was even awake. If only i knew better.

I should have realised that she was acting strange when she came up to me the previous night to hug me tightly and give me a kiss.

But it’s all too late. The doctors have tried their best and i can still remember the faces of sympathy and sorrow when they announced to me that she didn’t make it.

I’m at a loss, and i really don’t know what to do. The two pillars of support in my life, were now gone. I’m in despair, and the emotional pain is only getting worst.

I’m afraid as to what the future may bring.

It’s been tiring for the past few days, and how i wished it was all a dream. I hope you’re feeling better there now, and that you’ve finally gotten back your smiles and laughter you once shared with me, and finally able to let all these off your chest.

I guess that’s why you decided to do it. I don’t blame you, and i will never. I love you mother, and i will always miss you. 1:36AM

You had never once imagined Haechan to go through so much, at such a young age. Your heart ached once again as you imagined how Haechan must have felt, all alone and vulnerable from all the loss he had faced.

Taking a deep breath, you flipped to another entry.

• 2nd March 2015 •

It’s been 5 months since you left, mom. I know you’re praying and wishing that i’m only getting happier and better day by day, but i’m sorry to disappoint you, but i’m not.

Teachers in school has been offering to help me, and i appreciate it. But i every time i’m all alone at home again, cold and dark, i start to miss you and your presence.

The people in school are all very nice and understanding, but a part of me still feels lost, and empty. It’s as though i’ve lost a part of myself.

My studies hasn’t been great lately and it constantly reminds me of how you’d nag at me and force me to revise and study, but now that you’re not here to do that anymore, i’ve lost all motivation.

Maybe i’ll start to feel better as time goes by, and maybe i should stop thinking too much and start putting all of the past behind. That will help, right?

Before the thoughts get the better of me again, i’ll try to sleep. All this sleepless nights has caused my head to hurt. 11:42PM

• 2nd August 2015 •

It’s the secondth again, the number i detest the most.

But today, it’s different from other months.

Inside of the usual regret and sadness i felt, i was numbed with happiness, and excitement; for the first time in so many months.

Because it’s my best friend’s birthday today. He had always knew how much the 2nd affected me, and never failed in trying to make me feel better each day.

Not going to lie, without him, i wouldn’t be here today. Each day he’d surprise me with snacks and gifts, and share with me jokes and stories, his infectious laugh spreading to me too.

He takes really good care of me and never once left my side, when other friends turned their back on me as soon as they hear my story.

And i’m thankful for him.

We had a small celebration at his favourite pizza restaurant earlier on today, and his words and actions made me forget of all the pain i suffered from each month, on this day.

It’ll only get better, have hope Haechan. 9:27PM

Haechan had mentioned to you a few times about this one guy best friend he had a few years back. But he mentioned about him after that one time. Nonetheless, you were glad that there was someone at that time that was able to help Haechan out, giving him hope and faith when he most needed.

• 23rd February 2016 •

I didn’t believe it when he first told me. Was i going to lose another one of my loved ones?

It’s all too sudden again and i could tell from his eyes that he was apologetic, and that he was sorry.

Did it mean that after two weeks, i’ll be alone again? With no one to lean on?

I guess it’s going to take a while for me to get used to everything again, without him helping me by my side.

But he always tells me how much he misses there and that he wants to go back one day, and i’m glad he finally has the chance to. I wish him all the best there and that if it is fated, we’ll meet one day again, still as best friends. 10:12PM

Where did this best friend of this go? Why did he leave Haechan? Was Haechan alright?

Endless thoughts ran through your mind as you let out another sigh, upset with yourself for not getting to know Haechan and his past when you had the opportunity to.

• 25th May 2016 •

Hyung has been gone for about three months now. And because we’re so far away, we hardly have time to communicate with one another anymore. And i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i can’t seem to befriend new people or even step out of my circle.

It’s as though i’m trapped.

I feel lonely again. I have so many things i want to say and let out but i have no one to do it to. This book’s the only way to let out my thoughts.

I’m starting to lose a little bit of hope again, and i’ve been pretty unstable lately. I hope after tonight i’ll feel better, 2:04AM

• 14th August 2016 •

Things haven’t been going smoothly and i’ve just been living life the way i’m asked to, not the way i want to, and it’s getting tiring.

But today i met someone who was willing to accept and listen to me, and she was nothing but kind to me.

Mrs Park owns a small cafe down the street, a place i always go to clear my thoughts, be it before or after school. She must have noticed my obvious deep and sad expressions, as she made the effort to ask about me and show her concern, and i am more than touched by her sweet and encouraging words.

She even offered to help me out with my studies and look after me as though i’m her own child. I’m thankful i met her.

I sense happy days coming, and i really hope that this time, i won’t fall again.

It didn’t surprise you that Mrs Park was as kind to Haechan, the same way she was to you when she noticed you.

She was the motherly figure that tried to help you out when you were at your worst, and did nothing more than just give you advice and love, which helped you out in many ways.

You were glad she had found Haechan too.

• 29th September 2017 •

I met the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen in my entire life today. And every part of me wants to be friends with her and be her pillar of support, while she was at her worst.

Mrs Park had told me about her and how she tried to help her too, but her stubborn self just wouldn’t feel better; reminds me of myself, and how i was a few years back.

I really want to help her out and i don’t want to see anyone, especially her, to go through the amount of pain and suffering i went through. I know how it feels and i just want to make her feel better.

Her flustered and embarrassed self made me have a genuine smile on my face and i have a feeling she’s going to be different. I hope i’ll be able to help her, 10:38PM

You knew who he was talking about, none other than you. You felt the tears in your eyes threatening to fall as you were touched by his words.

He was right, he helped you a whole lot, and you only got to where you were today all thanks to him.

And you wanted to share your gratefulness and gratitude towards him for the rest of your life, but…

• 26th March 2017 •

I feel bad when i see her breaking down and not being able to do anything. Seeing her cry, i wanted to cry too.

It is as though we are one. I’m able to tell when she’s not feeling the best, and i don’t hesitate to do anything for her, as long as she’s happy.

I want to be there for her when she needs someone, and i want to give her all the advice i can when she needs it, but when i’m with her, crying by my side, my mind blanks out and i’d be too shock to even say anything.

Yet she has the power to make me forget everything of the past and to not let my emotions gain control over me again, and i’m too busy taking care and looking after over her, giving her all the love to even look after myself.

Is this what love feels like?

I only want the best for her and i’m proud to say she’s come a long way from the first day i met her.

Maybe she is the one. 11:19PM

Who would have thought Haechan shared the same feelings as you? And the fact that he had put in so much thought and effort into trying to make you feel better warmed every single part of your body.

Until you continued reading, your tears falling as you were met with the last entry of the whole book.

• 2nd June 2017 •

I’m sorry but i don’t think i can do this anymore.

Two days back i’d seen dad, the first time in three years.

He looked different; much more happier than he was when he used to be with us. Full of confusion, i made my way up to him to talk to him. I had so many questions i had wanted to ask him, but as soon as he looked me in the eye, i couldn’t think straight as the memories of him and the way he treated us came back.

Then a woman, together with two other children, only a few years younger than me, made their way beside my father. Then it hit me, was he cheating behind mom’s back all along? Was this why mom was always so angry when he came back late?

Yet despite seeing my upset expression, he didn’t flinch at all. Instead, he had a smug expression on his face, one a father would never give his child. Then he shot me with the words that still hurts me up till now.

“I never once regret leaving you all.”

And on that same day, i came to realise so many things i never once did three years back, when mom left. The letter that i had kept in my drawer, left unopened, was finally opened. And all the pain and ache came back.

I’m very frustrated, and i feel like i’ve been betrayed countless times on this journey. And all these are too much for me to bear and hold on, i really think i have to let go right now.

Over the past few months, it was the best i’ve ever felt in the whole three years, and i finally met someone who could change my life. But i’ve been through so much and felt so many things i don’t think i can pull through this anymore.

I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry that the side of me that i always showed you wasn’t the side i always had. It was a front i only put up so as to help you, yet because you deserve to be happy with a smile on your face everyday, i couldn’t bring myself to show the real me or even tell you anything, afraid that it might make you lose your smile.

I know i’ve tried my best and i have no regrets making this decision. Maybe i am selfish and that i’ve always been, but i really hope my absence won’t cause any harm to anyone else. It’s been a long journey, and i can finally rest. 7:44PM

Your hands were on your face now, your muffled cries unstoppable as you tried to stop your tears, but couldn’t.

If only you had went up to his apartment that night to check if he was alright, after he stated that he was not feeling well. You still remembered how he assured you that he was alright, and just needed to rest, and that there was no need for you to go down to see him.

If only you didn’t believe those words so easily.

Your sobbing was interrupted as soon as you heard the main door from outside opening, followed by a boy’s voice, “Excuse me, is anyone there?”

Clearing your throat, you wiped your tears with the sleeves of your shirt, placing the notebook back gently, before calling out softly, “Y-Yes”

There was a pause, before you heard the voice reply back, “O-Oh.. Uh… Do you want me to leave?”

You shook your head as you quickly made your way out of Haechan’s room, met with a sight of a boy of your age, a beanie on his head as his arms were behind his back. You noticed his eyes widened at the sight of you, and the state you were in.

Flustered, his hands nervously fumbled from his back to his front pockets of his jeans, then clumsily taking out a packet of tissue, passing it to you, “I think you need this.

You faked a smile as you accepted it with both hands. Clearing your throat once again, you said out to the boy, “Who are you? Do you know Haechan?”

The boy smiled a little at your words, then bowed his head slightly, his defined cheekbones showing, “I just came back to Korea a few months back. After hearing about Haechan, that is… I’m Mark, Haechan’s high school best friend. And you are…?”

He was not bothered at the state you were in at all. “O-Oh.. I’m Y/N, Haechan’s uh… close-girlfriend.”

You could have been.

Mark’s eyes lightened up a bit, before he gave you an assuring smile, hand on your back, “Must be tough on you, i hope you stay strong though! Trust me, it will get better”

His tone full of positivity and encouragement reminded you of the first time you heard Haechan’s. You could tell from his smile that he was sincere, and for some reason, it gave you comfort.

“Why’re you here today?” you asked, after thanking him for his words.

Mark sighed, then looked around the apartment, “Just wanted to help clean up his place, the way a best friend should. I still feel bad for leaving him a few years back, to move back to Canada. Maybe if i hadn’t done that he’d still be here now…”

His face scrunching up as soon as he realised what he said, as he noticed your expression change at his last sentence. “I’m so so sorry- I didn’t mean to-”

You shook your head, as you noticed his cheeks blushing from embarrassment.

His hands rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh why didn’t i see you for the past months? I mean i come by here every week to clean up his place but i never saw you once.”

You sighed as you gave him another smile, causing him to smile back, “I couldn’t bring myself to come here… And i was at the hospital for my recovery from an accident. So…”

Mark nodded his head at your words, as he then stood up quickly, grabbing the bag from the table, then passing it to you.

“Bought some banana milk for myself to drink but i guess you need it more. I’d be more than willing to help you out anytime. I’m sure Haechan wants that too”

His words brought a smile to yourself, touched by his kindness and genuinity.

In front of you stood the boy who helped Haechan a few years back, despite of his background.

And here he was, offering to help you and make you feel better, even after only meeting you for the first day.

Who would have known someone you coincidentally met could mean so much to you in the future…

[madlori]

Travels!

So y’all have been interested in my travel stratagems before, and I have a trip coming up soon so I thought I’d talk about my plans a little.

My cousin T is getting married in Mystic, Connecticut on Sep 17 (which is a Sunday). I planned to fly up for the wedding, then I decided I’d go a week early and do some vacationing, including a visit to National Park #13, Acadia National Park in Maine (which is a bit of a one-off as there is not another national park nearby, and it’s also too far for a weekend or to drive). I also have a good college friend in Boston I’ve been wanting to visit, so I decided to spend my week pre-wedding half in Maine, half in Boston. Thus the strategizing began.

1. Where to fly.

Mystic is really not close to Acadia - in fact it’s a 6.5 hour drive. So right off the bat I’m looking at flying in and out of different places. If I fly to somewhere near the park I can rent a car, spend my days in Maine, drive to Boston, then drive to Connecticut, then return the car there (there’s always a fee for that, incidentally) and fly home. The available airports near Acadia are Portland and Bangor, the ones near Connecticut are Hartford and Providence or possibly Boston.

I did price checks on every single combination of flights there and back, also factoring in the different rental car prices for pickup and return to the relevant airports. After checking about twenty different itineraries, the best value ended up being flying in to Portland and flying out of Providence. Done and done.

2. Where to stay.

There is no lodging inside Acadia. There are hotels in Bar Harbor, which is on the island, but pricey. After some hunting I found a nice AirBNB for $80 a night about twenty minutes from the park with a very well-reviewed and friendly host who’s offered to make me a lobster dinner. Score. I won’t need lodging in Boston, and my parents have already booked a house in Mystic for them, my grandparents, and myself.

3. What to do

I made a list of trails I’d like to hike at Acadia, keeping them relatively short (like less than four miles) so I can get in as many different things as I can. I’ll only have two full days there plus Tuesday morning, so I have to make it count! Hoping for good weather. My Boston friend and I have some plans - I definitely want to go to the art museum and possibly the zoo - but we’ll probs play it by ear.

4. What to bring

This is...gonna be a challenge. I pride myself on my ability to pack light (I went to Norway for two weeks with a single 25-inch suitcase and a backpack) but this trip will require me to pack a) hiking clothes, b) tourist clothes and c) wedding clothes. Some clothes can do double duty, and I’ll be able to do laundry once I get to my friend’s house in Boston, so that helps - I can bring half as much underwear as I’d normally need.

The biggest space hog in my packing is my hiking shoes. I would normally bring my boots, but I have a pair of low-top trail shoes that will probably be fine and which I might actually be able to wear on the plane, which would save me a lot of suitcase room (always wear your bulkiest items on the plane). I will need two dresses for this wedding (there’s a rehearsal dinner thing too), either could also be worn if I need a dress in Boston for some reason (a dinner outing, etc). The other big variable here is the WEATHER. It’ll be mid-September in New England. It could be 80 degrees, it could be 50 degrees. Some of the packing logistics will have to wait until right before I leave and have a weather forecast. But so far the packing list goes like so (the items in italics go in the backpack):

1 pair sport leggings for hiking (I’ll have 2 days of hiking, they can go for two days)

2 athletic tank tops (if weather is warm)

2 t-shirts (will probably wear one on the plane with shorts)

rain jacket

hiking boots or trail shoes (hopefully can wear on the plane - I HATE wearing my hiking boots off the trail but I can suck it up)

1 layering piece (probably a knit jacket, maybe a fleece)

yoga pants

1 hoodie (if space permits)

2 pairs casual leggings for touristing

2 shirts to go with those leggings 

black microfiber maxi skirt (packs down into almost no space, I never travel without this particular item - slap it on with one of your casual shirts, add a scarf and you’re ready for dinner out)

2 scarves

casual sneakers 

dress for the rehearsal thingie

dress for the wedding

pashmina shawl that can go with both of the above

black cardigan that can go with both dresses

shoes (black heels + black flats - always have emergency shoes)

1 sports bra, 2 reg bras (one white, one black)

5 pairs undies

3 pairs athletic socks, 2 pair boot socks

sleep shirt

jewelry to match all the above outfits

toiletries, makeup, etc

hiking hat and poles (I have collapsible poles that go in my suitcase - they tuck perfectly into that hollow on the inside of the bag formed by the collapsible handle)

GPS beacon, hiker’s first-aid kit

DSLR camera, laptop, chargers for same

Camelbak reservoir for my backpack

portable charger, car phone mount, phone lanyard

passport, NPS passport book, Kindle

I’m pretty confident all that will fit in my suitcase. Keys to packing efficiently are a) pick outfits that can share pieces and b) pick outfits that pack down small. Don’t bring jeans or khakis, they’re bulky. I live in leggings on trips (well, I do the rest of the time, too) and I pick clothes that roll into a small space. I need the space for must-have items that can’t be small, like fleeces and hoodies and jackets and shoes. I also chose my wedding dresses so they both can use black accessories, meaning the shoes and pashmina (it’s black) can go with both. A pair of yoga pants serves many functions - lounge wear, temporary wear before getting dressed up, evening post-activities relaxing wear. Three t-shirts is plenty for a week’s trip. You don’t have to wear a different one every day. For me, two of them will probably get sweaty, but I’ll be able to wash them once I get to Boston.

I never pack till the night before. And I always put fresh sheets on my bed before I leave so it’s all nice when I come back. My night-before a trip always involves a lot of tidying, so the house is neat when I return.

[feynites]

So is Uthvir going to permanently stay with Selene and Felasel? What's going on with their mom and Glory? Soooo curious! I am actually really loving this little off shoot. Little Uthvir is too precious, I love them so much <3

In that case, good news, there’s more! <333

Living at Selene and Felasel’s house is very different fromtravelling with their dad. But Uthvir likes it.

A few days after they get ‘settled in’, Selene tells them it’stime for them to try and start going to school again. Uthvir doesn’t reallymind. Ms Hara says she’s going to be their teacher, and she seems very nice.They’re a little nervous about leaving Spider-Man behind, but they’re alsoworried that they’d get made fun of if they brought him. In the end they leavehim in the fort, which now has the griffon sentry, and a lego jungle, and arace track Adannar set up with them all around it. Uthvir puts some wards inthe griffon. They bend the rules a little to do that, because they do it in theliving room, while Felasel is there, but he’s not really paying attention.

Or at least, he doesn’t seem to be. And he doesn’t mentionit, either. Spider-Man says it’s technically in Selene’s rules, though, becauseFelasel’s a mage.

Ms Hara’s class ends up being pretty fun. Ms Hara introducesUthvir, but she doesn’t make them talk much in front of all the other kids.They just say ‘hi’, and then the first lesson starts. They don’t really followall of it, which is a little embarrassing. But Ms Hara says that it’s okay,they can just do what they think they can manage. At recess they get to andplay with the other kids, who seem pretty nice. But at lunch Ms Hara has themsit with her and do a test, to figure out ‘where Uthvir is’, so that they canget caught up with the rest of the class.

When Felasel picks them up, he announces that a good firstday of school means that Uthvir gets to pick out a treat from the bakery. Thebakery they stop at is really tiny, and Felasel says it’s very old, but thatthey make the most delicious pies in the whole city. Uthvir picks out a donutfrom the display case, though, because it’s got white chocolate on it. And strawberries. And Uthvir really likes white chocolate andstrawberries, especially when it’s all oozy and warm – and it is!

Felasel gets a tart, and they eat their treats on the wayback to the house. Uthvir tries to be tidy, but they end up smears ofstrawberry jam and melted chocolate all over their face.

“Hmm,” Felasel says, looking at them as they pull into thedriveway. “I should have put wet wipes in the car…”

They head inside, and Selene is waiting for them.

She looks at Uthvir, and sighs.

“Really?” she asksFelasel. “There’s a veggies platter waiting in the fridge for you two.”

“It was only one donut,” Felasel says. “Uthvir almostcertainly still has room.”

“I gotta go check on Spider-Man,” Uthvir announces, fortheir own part, and then heads off to do that first thing. He’s still wherethey left him, though, unharmed and Thinking Thinky Thoughts, like he doessometimes. Before they can do much more than ascertain that, then, Selene comesand gets them and tells them they can’t go running around covered in stickystuff. She gets them cleaned up, and then they have another long talk aboutschool stuff over their veggies, and homework, and what all Uthvir’s going todo and what Selene is going to help them with.

Which turns out to be a lot.

Uthvir’s pretty good at numbers and reading, but theirhandwriting is behind what it should be, and there are a lot of ‘gaps’ in whatthey know. Selene assures them that it’s okay, on several occasions, so theydon’t worry about it too much. As long as they’re not in trouble, they figure,then it doesn’t matter a whole lot. When their dad comes back for them, theyprobably won’t be able to keep going to school anyway. They figure they cancram in as much useful information as they can, and then worry about the restlater. Learning to write better’s a good idea. Spider-Man tells them it’ll helpthem make their wards better, too.

They don’t see Adannar at school or after it that day, andthen it’s the weekend. Selene says they’re going to have lessons on theweekend, though. They get to watch cartoons in the morning, and then she sitswith them at the table, and they practice some lessons. Not just writing lines,either. Selene has a book called LearningElvhen, and she opens it up and starts teaching Uthvir some of that, too.

The next day, they get to go to the park, though. Adannarcomes along too, and Ms Hara, and their dog – who is actually the dog Uthvirfirst met and thought was Selene’s – and there’s also a girl named Ana, who’sin Adannar’s classes and lives just a block away. Uthvir’s not too sure abouther at first, but she doesn’t make fun of them for bringing Spider-Man along,and she loans Uthvir one of her shovels to dig up pebbles with. The park is huge, with a big play set, and a trail,and a lookout post with a ladder that gives a view over the bigger portions ofthe park, that are all green, green trees. Felasel explains that the park letsonto a reserve, which is a bigsection of wild land that’s protected so it can stay wild.

“I wanna explore it,” Ana admits, when they abandon the playarea in favour of throwing twigs down from the lookout station. “I bet there’sall kinds of neat things in there.”

“There’s a train that goes through there,” Adannar says. “Wewere learnin’ about it class! It’s a magic train, from underground an’ it goesall the way to the dwarf cities, an’ through tunnels in the reserve, an’ thenup into the city depot!”

Dangerous,Spider-Man says. The tunnels will attractsome creatures to try and nest in them. Damage to the rails from wyvern nests,or poor maintenance, could lead to the train crashing.

“What’s in the train?” Uthvir wonders.

“Lyrium, mostly,” Adannar says. “But sometimes nugs, too!”

Move further back fromthe railing.

Sighing, Uthvir scoots back a bit. They want to go explorethe tunnels and see the wild things, and the nugs!

You will get eaten byjaguars.

“Are there ja… jageer… um. Big cats, in the reserve?” Uthvirwonders, floundering over Spider-Man’s word before he supplies them with amental image.

“Yeah,” Adannar sagely informs them, and Ana nods, too. “Butit’s okay, they don’t bother us if we don’t bother them. You’re not supposed topet any if you see them, though. That’s what my Momma says, anyway, she saysthey’re not like big dogs. And you’re not supposed to pet big dogs, neither.”

Adannar manages to look like this is a great and terribletragedy. But Spider-Man backs up the idea.

“My uncle says you never pet wild animals. Even if they don’thurt you, you could hurt them by accident,” Ana adds. “But I wouldn’ pet any ofthe ones on the reserve, I’d just take pictures!”

They carry on talking about the reserve for a bit more,then, before Ana suggests they play Explorers. Uthvir’s never played that gamebefore, but it’s a lot of fun. They run around the park and get all dirty andbury treasure in one of the sandboxes, and Ana finds a rock she says she’sgoing to keep, and Uthvir and Adannar discover a log with tons of ants underneath it. Spider-Man tells them not to touch any,though, and then Ms Hara comes and gets them and says it’s time to go home.

After the weekend, Uthvir has school again. And so it goes,for a whole week – they go to Ms Hara’s class, and they have study time withSelene. And sometimes Melarue comes and visits, and Felasel always comes andgets Uthvir from school, and is always on time. They play at Adannar’s house,or else Adannar comes and plays at theirs. They meet Adannar’s Papa, and Ana’sparents, and they have three meals a day plus snacks, and none of them arejerky or peanuts.

The second week comes, and Uthvir doesn’t think a lot aboutit, except that they really likestaying with Selene and Felasel. And maybe, if they’re really good, their dadwill let them do it again sometime.

Then the third week comes.

Then the fourth.

They start wondering, at that point.

Their dad’s never left them with some of his friends forthis long before. Part of them thinks they should ask Selene or Felasel aboutit, but they don’t know how to do it without making it sound… bad, somehow.Like they want to leave, or they’re sick of them, or ungrateful. And Uthvir isn’t!They have toys and friends and it’s reallynice here, and Selene is like a mom, and Felasel’s always sneaking themthings and sometimes he asks to hug them just… out of the blue. And it’s nice.They have a fort and a griffon and a nintendo, and puzzles and stickers, and abig bed and they can do magic and go to Ms Hara’s class.

They don’t want to go.

But they don’t know what’s happened to their dad, either.

Forget about him,Spider-Man advises, one night, when Uthvir’s having troubles sleeping.

“I can’t do that! He’s my dad,” Uthvir objects, whispering.They know they’re not… not a goodkid, but they’re not that bad.Sometimes they take things that don’t belong to them, but they don’t forgetabout people, and they’re not mean for no reason.

You really should. He’snot a good father. He wasn’t last time, either.

“Shush,” Uthvir says. “He’s not bad, you’re just too picky!”

Selene and Felaseltreat you better.

“That’s ‘cause they’re rich,” they object. “…And reallynice. But if Dad was rich, he’d be a lot nicer too, because then he wouldn’thave to worry about money all the time.”

When he finished thatjob at the old lady’s house, was he nice?

Uthvir stills, remembering their dad’s slurred speech, andraised voice. The way he locked them into the car and left them, and then cameback, acting all funny and telling Uthvir to stop making noise. He was happywhen he got paid, but he… he didn’t stay that way.

“…No,” they allow, quietly.

Spider-Man quiets down for a few minutes, then, and they hughim closer in the dark.

“What if Selene and Felasel stop wanting me, like Mom did?”they wonder. They’re like their dad, they know, and their dad’s not the best,but there’s a kind of security in that. Birds of a feather flock together. Theyremember their dad, sagely telling them, after they’d stopped crying, that thething about ‘decent’ people was that they always got rid of the Uthvirs andRhapsody’s in their lives. Like cleaning out the trash.

Spider-Man takes a while to answer.

You’ll still have me,he promises. And we have better odds withSelene and Felasel anyway. Rhapsody’s probably never coming back.

“Don’t say that!”they  beg.

Spider-Man stops.

Uthvir clutches him close, curling into a ball in thebig  bed as they start crying, then. Theytry to keep quiet about it. But after a few minutes, the bedroom door opens. Acrack of light spills into the room, and they burrow deeper into the covers.But they don’t really mind it when the mattress dips, and Selene starts gentlyrunning a hand up and down their back.

“What’s the matter?” she asks, when their sniffles have dieddown.

Uthvir curls up a little more, and hides their face inSpider-Man’s tummy.

“Where… where’s my dad?” they finally manage to ask.

Selene’s hand goes still against their back for a minute.And then she pats them again.

“He had to go on a long trip,” she says. “And the truth is, Uthvir,that he hadn’t been taking the best care of you. So, since Felasel and I wantedto have you around so badly – and Melaruedoes, too – we asked if he’d let you stay with us. And he said yes.”

Uthvir closes their eyes.

“He stopped wanting me,” they know, now. Just like theirmom. She stopped wanting Uthvir after their dad came back, and after Uthvir…after they gave him the cards from her purse. Because he asked them to, and hesaid it was an emergency, and you’re supposedto help people when it’s an emergency.

They knew it was bad though. Going into Mom’s purse withoutpermission.

But they did it anyway.

Just like all the grifting, and stealing, and lying. Justlike their dad.

Except now even hedoesn’t want them anymore. And someday Selene and Felasel are going to figureout that they don’t want Uthvir, either. And then what will they do?

Survive,Spider-Man says.

But then his voice gets all muffled. Quiet. Not like he’sgone away, but like someone’s just thrown a blanket over his head. Except he’sstill smushed up against Uthvir’s face. They swallow, and pull back a little;and Selene reaches over, and smooths some of the hair away from their forehead.

Her eyes look funny. Just for a second. Like they’re toobright.

“I think that’s enough fear, for one night,” she murmurs. “Don’tyou worry, Uthvir. We’ll look after you. We’re not going to get tired of you,or decide you aren’t worth our time. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, orwhat you think you’ve done. You can stay with us as long as you need to.Forever, if you want. Do you want to stay with us?”

They blink, and roll over a little. Selene rests a hand againstthe side of their face, as they fidget with Spider-Man.

They manage a nod.

Selene smiles.

“Good,” she says. “You’re family, Uthvir. We should havementioned that from the start, I think. But you belong with us as much as youbelong with anyone.”

Uthvir lets out a breath.

Family?

They’re related?

They thought… well. Their dad does have a pretty big family, but they thought nobody in it wasrich? But maybe Selene and Felasel just got their big break. Like the one theirparents always seemed to be waiting for. Their mom was always waiting for one,and then their dad was, too.

“I’ll be good,” they promise. They will be. They’ll be ontheir best behaviour, and then Selene and Felasel won’t have any reason to getrid of them.

“Good or bad, you’re our Uthvir,” Selene tells them. Thenshe smiles, just a little, and bops their nose.

They make a sound of protest when it tickles, and hide theirface back in Spider-Man. Who’s still all muffled, but he doesn’t seem to beupset or anything. Selene sits with them until they fall asleep again, driftingaway as the awful feeling inside of them starts to ease up, and they’re leftjust with an overwhelming sense of being tired.

When they wake up the next morning, everything feels alittle bit like a dream. But they find it’s a lot easier to not worry about theirdad coming to get them, now – whether he will, or won’t. Instead they find thatthey’re uncommonly excited to have their breakfast, and watch their cartoons,and go to school, and do all kinds of things. Things that they normally like todo anyway, but today, it seems like everything they want – and get – is extraimportant, and easy to focus on.

Spider-Man is grumpy, though.

Meddling Des, hemutters.

What’s that?Uthvir wonders.

Incautious,Spider-Man tells them, which usually means he’s just in a Mood. Uthvir leaveshim with their pokemon games when they set him up in the fort, so he can playthem if he gets bored, and maybe be in a better mood when they get home.

Home.

It’s getting really easy to think of this place like that.

[chkingonpride]

Standard Landscaping Equipment For Each Landscaper

For that devoted do-it-yourself gardener, a proven method are essential. Clearly, if an individual want to reduce the price connected with using a taken care of landscaping, it is advisable to make sure that they’ve each one of the equipment and tools essential to setup an elegant landscaping. Essentially by realizing probably the most general accessories intended for elementary gardening needs, you’ll be able to make sure you have really everything you will need for you personally to maintain your grass in the perfect appearance, delivering delight in addition to improvement for your property, whether or not they are small or large.

Spades, rakes, trowels, and hands cultivators. They’re simplest of tools when it comes to landscaping. Pretty much every property ought to be provided wonderful these essential tools. They’ll make sure almost every gardening task possible. Spades to eradicate sod in addition to turn soil, as well as dig any holes needed for fixtures for example shrubbery and lighting, Rakes are very important to lessen rose beds making ground for items like sod whilst not packing the earth. Trowels and hands cultivators let you perform minute work that requires much more focus on depth. Each one of these tools are essential for that ideal performance together with proper care of a landscape.

Pruners and shears. This equipment are employed to increase the type of woodsy garden plants plus trees. They keep shrubs from intruding other areas, and additionally they boost the your overal wellness of the plants. They assist have a neat appearance, as well as in situation you have topiary troubles, they are type in maintaining a particular shape. You should use hands pruners, specific tools that really help around the tinier branches and therefore are faster to utilize, loppers to get thicker branches which may be too big for pruners, as well as trimming saws that may help you for that toughest of tree branches. Hedge shears provide a method for shrubbery to become cut much more carefully when compared with gas powered or electric-run clippers (despite the fact that the majority are broadly accessible and can make searching after shrubbery less complicated).

Mower. This really is possibly the only most general and many apparent of landscaping design gear. It is made to keep your grass inside a acceptable level, in addition to keep your grass as well as healthy and well-balanced. Highly relevant to lawnmowers within the trimming category are usually products like weed wackers, which you’ll want to find very helpful to keep edges which could&rsquot be clipped using the mower nice tidy. Furthermore, using some kind of special machinery, designed to eliminate thick brush is helpful to possess on hands, even it is just using a device got annually.

Many other devices of curiosity. Clearly, you will find really specialist equipment that may be important based upon over of the landscaping design. In case you have any type of water fixture, you will have to make sure that you possess the appropriate pumps in addition to filtration, and you have small skimmers that enables you to eliminate bigger areas of develop from the water. Automatic sprinklers can make sprinkling the lawn as well as your additional flowers and plants much simpler, and you ought to obtain a hose for special irrigating needs. Regular household tools for instance hammer and nails, levels, plus drills might help in case you have built landscaping features much like outside patios, verandas, pergolas, and trellises. They may also be useful for constructing things like canisters and creating elevated beds.

Wheelbarrow. The wheelbarrow are invariably of endless use for that enthusiastic landscaper and improver. Wheelbarrows are really helpful for shifting debris as well as getting needed instruments on their own right places. They haul debris in addition to generate plants. They create it achievable for 1 man or lady to hold a lot that may else be very hard to take proper care of. Concerning the motivated landscaper, a wheelbarrow is definitely important.

If you have all of the tools needed to deal with your landscaping, you’ll be nicely paid for the persistence. Purchasing the more easily available devices might also help you save money within the lengthy term, because they may be utilized again and again. Furthermore, a lot of the more prevalent landscape equipment and tools are usually fairly compact in proportions and straightforward to carry in almost any garage along with a garden storage shed. After they are stored correctly organized in position, they are super easy to get at anytime, and never difficult to find.

Proper maintenance of your tools and gives is very important: prevent them from becoming rusty, and make certain your lawnmower and various gas powered or electric accessories are very oiled and try to have adequate gas. Good proper care of all of your tools and gives means that it’ll be simple to properly take good proper care of your landscape.

from http://valest.net/2017/02/standard-landscaping-equipment-for-each-landscaper/

[learningtoheallearningtolove]

Standard Landscaping Equipment For Each Landscaper

For that devoted do-it-yourself gardener, a proven method are essential. Clearly, if an individual want to reduce the price connected with using a taken care of landscaping, it is advisable to make sure that they’ve each one of the equipment and tools essential to setup an elegant landscaping. Essentially by realizing probably the most general accessories intended for elementary gardening needs, you’ll be able to make sure you have really everything you will need for you personally to maintain your grass in the perfect appearance, delivering delight in addition to improvement for your property, whether or not they are small or large.

Spades, rakes, trowels, and hands cultivators. They’re simplest of tools when it comes to landscaping. Pretty much every property ought to be provided wonderful these essential tools. They’ll make sure almost every gardening task possible. Spades to eradicate sod in addition to turn soil, as well as dig any holes needed for fixtures for example shrubbery and lighting, Rakes are very important to lessen rose beds making ground for items like sod whilst not packing the earth. Trowels and hands cultivators let you perform minute work that requires much more focus on depth. Each one of these tools are essential for that ideal performance together with proper care of a landscape.

Pruners and shears. This equipment are employed to increase the type of woodsy garden plants plus trees. They keep shrubs from intruding other areas, and additionally they boost the your overal wellness of the plants. They assist have a neat appearance, as well as in situation you have topiary troubles, they are type in maintaining a particular shape. You should use hands pruners, specific tools that really help around the tinier branches and therefore are faster to utilize, loppers to get thicker branches which may be too big for pruners, as well as trimming saws that may help you for that toughest of tree branches. Hedge shears provide a method for shrubbery to become cut much more carefully when compared with gas powered or electric-run clippers (despite the fact that the majority are broadly accessible and can make searching after shrubbery less complicated).

Mower. This really is possibly the only most general and many apparent of landscaping design gear. It is made to keep your grass inside a acceptable level, in addition to keep your grass as well as healthy and well-balanced. Highly relevant to lawnmowers within the trimming category are usually products like weed wackers, which you’ll want to find very helpful to keep edges which could&rsquot be clipped using the mower nice tidy. Furthermore, using some kind of special machinery, designed to eliminate thick brush is helpful to possess on hands, even it is just using a device got annually.

Many other devices of curiosity. Clearly, you will find really specialist equipment that may be important based upon over of the landscaping design. In case you have any type of water fixture, you will have to make sure that you possess the appropriate pumps in addition to filtration, and you have small skimmers that enables you to eliminate bigger areas of develop from the water. Automatic sprinklers can make sprinkling the lawn as well as your additional flowers and plants much simpler, and you ought to obtain a hose for special irrigating needs. Regular household tools for instance hammer and nails, levels, plus drills might help in case you have built landscaping features much like outside patios, verandas, pergolas, and trellises. They may also be useful for constructing things like canisters and creating elevated beds.

Wheelbarrow. The wheelbarrow are invariably of endless use for that enthusiastic landscaper and improver. Wheelbarrows are really helpful for shifting debris as well as getting needed instruments on their own right places. They haul debris in addition to generate plants. They create it achievable for 1 man or lady to hold a lot that may else be very hard to take proper care of. Concerning the motivated landscaper, a wheelbarrow is definitely important.

If you have all of the tools needed to deal with your landscaping, you’ll be nicely paid for the persistence. Purchasing the more easily available devices might also help you save money within the lengthy term, because they may be utilized again and again. Furthermore, a lot of the more prevalent landscape equipment and tools are usually fairly compact in proportions and straightforward to carry in almost any garage along with a garden storage shed. After they are stored correctly organized in position, they are super easy to get at anytime, and never difficult to find.

Proper maintenance of your tools and gives is very important: prevent them from becoming rusty, and make certain your lawnmower and various gas powered or electric accessories are very oiled and try to have adequate gas. Good proper care of all of your tools and gives means that it’ll be simple to properly take good proper care of your landscape.

from http://valest.net/2017/02/standard-landscaping-equipment-for-each-landscaper/

[chkingonpride]

Standard Landscaping Equipment For Each Landscaper

For that devoted do-it-yourself gardener, a proven method are essential. Clearly, if an individual want to reduce the price connected with using a taken care of landscaping, it is advisable to make sure that they’ve each one of the equipment and tools essential to setup an elegant landscaping. Essentially by realizing probably the most general accessories intended for elementary gardening needs, you’ll be able to make sure you have really everything you will need for you personally to maintain your grass in the perfect appearance, delivering delight in addition to improvement for your property, whether or not they are small or large.

Spades, rakes, trowels, and hands cultivators. They’re simplest of tools when it comes to landscaping. Pretty much every property ought to be provided wonderful these essential tools. They’ll make sure almost every gardening task possible. Spades to eradicate sod in addition to turn soil, as well as dig any holes needed for fixtures for example shrubbery and lighting, Rakes are very important to lessen rose beds making ground for items like sod whilst not packing the earth. Trowels and hands cultivators let you perform minute work that requires much more focus on depth. Each one of these tools are essential for that ideal performance together with proper care of a landscape.

Pruners and shears. This equipment are employed to increase the type of woodsy garden plants plus trees. They keep shrubs from intruding other areas, and additionally they boost the your overal wellness of the plants. They assist have a neat appearance, as well as in situation you have topiary troubles, they are type in maintaining a particular shape. You should use hands pruners, specific tools that really help around the tinier branches and therefore are faster to utilize, loppers to get thicker branches which may be too big for pruners, as well as trimming saws that may help you for that toughest of tree branches. Hedge shears provide a method for shrubbery to become cut much more carefully when compared with gas powered or electric-run clippers (despite the fact that the majority are broadly accessible and can make searching after shrubbery less complicated).

Mower. This really is possibly the only most general and many apparent of landscaping design gear. It is made to keep your grass inside a acceptable level, in addition to keep your grass as well as healthy and well-balanced. Highly relevant to lawnmowers within the trimming category are usually products like weed wackers, which you’ll want to find very helpful to keep edges which could&rsquot be clipped using the mower nice tidy. Furthermore, using some kind of special machinery, designed to eliminate thick brush is helpful to possess on hands, even it is just using a device got annually.

Many other devices of curiosity. Clearly, you will find really specialist equipment that may be important based upon over of the landscaping design. In case you have any type of water fixture, you will have to make sure that you possess the appropriate pumps in addition to filtration, and you have small skimmers that enables you to eliminate bigger areas of develop from the water. Automatic sprinklers can make sprinkling the lawn as well as your additional flowers and plants much simpler, and you ought to obtain a hose for special irrigating needs. Regular household tools for instance hammer and nails, levels, plus drills might help in case you have built landscaping features much like outside patios, verandas, pergolas, and trellises. They may also be useful for constructing things like canisters and creating elevated beds.

Wheelbarrow. The wheelbarrow are invariably of endless use for that enthusiastic landscaper and improver. Wheelbarrows are really helpful for shifting debris as well as getting needed instruments on their own right places. They haul debris in addition to generate plants. They create it achievable for 1 man or lady to hold a lot that may else be very hard to take proper care of. Concerning the motivated landscaper, a wheelbarrow is definitely important.

If you have all of the tools needed to deal with your landscaping, you’ll be nicely paid for the persistence. Purchasing the more easily available devices might also help you save money within the lengthy term, because they may be utilized again and again. Furthermore, a lot of the more prevalent landscape equipment and tools are usually fairly compact in proportions and straightforward to carry in almost any garage along with a garden storage shed. After they are stored correctly organized in position, they are super easy to get at anytime, and never difficult to find.

Proper maintenance of your tools and gives is very important: prevent them from becoming rusty, and make certain your lawnmower and various gas powered or electric accessories are very oiled and try to have adequate gas. Good proper care of all of your tools and gives means that it’ll be simple to properly take good proper care of your landscape.

http://valest.net/2017/02/standard-landscaping-equipment-for-each-landscaper/