#presentation didnt go well | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

qumiiiquinnquin · 1 year ago

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i feel like one of the worst people in the world right now. but at least my semester is over

#vent #presentation didnt go well #i couldnt start talking without having a huge coughing fit first so i had to ask one of my groupmates to please present for me #even though i was confident i would be fine #i kept coughing during class though i was really trying to be quiet since people were presenting #my professor said to the class in general that if they need to go do things like cough to please go do it outside the classroom #multiple times. i knew it was directed at and because of me though #i felt so embarrassed. its not my fault im sick. i couldve stayed home and just accepted the few points taken off for not being there today #i feel like such a disrespectful asshole even if i couldnt control the coughing and the fact im sick #i might as well have stayed outside the entire class #and also that final project i got a zero on for a different class #i ended this semester on such an unbelievably bad note and i want to blame myself for getting sick even though that's not how it works #but god i feel so terrible #ill probably be fine later and get over this. who knows

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fatehbaz · 2 months ago

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weekly navel-gazing update: this week is most consequential event in long time. keyword search: "scared" "is it ok to be scared" "beaten and tortured by the ogre"

#old director of south asian studies just talked to me to let me know theyll be joining me to sit on my panel while i present two projects #in two days and intimated they could discuss supervising potential grad work or dissertations despite funding freezes #she is respected used to do the gender studies program coordinating too #and their TA PhD student super severe standoffish goth walked up to me in front of seminar to thank me for my portfolio of essays #on poverty homelessness and environmental stuff and said it was TOUCHING and i should be proud and shell also be attending #after the director of student research invited them #and research director happens to specialize in borderlands and caribbean and empire and she emailed me to say #she left me a signed copy of her book with a really lovely message #and a protein bar because she knows i have diabetes and other illnesses but bike like ten miles a day between work and school #and then she emailed me and offered car ride if i wanted #and i was touched and surprised and now im like uh oh this is important i guess #and like uh oh i really shouldve taken the week off work or something why am i working forty hours for this #well precarious rent i guess but still wish i hadnt spent past four months just going to retail job and had instead hung out more with #faculty and hope i didnt waste my chance to get to know them #also is im just going to wear that outfit to conference hope not perceived as too informal #no family whatsoever so there was no one like interested or checking in on me to like help me see that the developments were significant #a year ago i was nothing but nightshift retail with NO prospects and rapidly worsening health #and there wasnt even a glimmer of hope for possibility of positive social environment let alone school

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ssongsboo · 2 months ago

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i fUCKING HATE CLEANING MY MAKEUP BRUSHES PLEASE SB SHOOT ME

#maybe i should start cleaning them after every use bc thatd save sO MUCH time #cleaning them once a week is also kinda nasty #so maaayyybeee i should switch it up #jay bitte its so hard to change my routine tho 🚬🚬#☆ ; dear diary ?#i wanna go out so bad #but im lazy #and on another cleaning spree #bUT ALSO #im so tired #i slept for like 2 1/2h in the last two days #bC EVERY TIME I FALL ASLEEP I WAKE UP IN A PANIC FROM THE WEIRDEST FUCKING DREAMS #AND FUCKASS TAKUMA WAS PRESENT IN LIKE 3 OF THEM????#the worst one was when i was taking a nap this morning [WANTED TO GO TO SLEEP but i woke up literally 15min later bc of that fuckass dream #so it ended up being a nap]#anywayz tw this is gonna be gross #and i was at a dpr ian concert and he was performing merry go #and im p sure it was in my old schools cafeteria?#the emergency exit looked like it was #and i was barricade #and suddenly everybody starts screaming and im like??#so i look down #aND PARAMEDICS RUSHED BY W A DECAPITATED MANS HEAD ON A TABLE #?????#IT LOOKED SO REAL AND WAS SO GRAPHIC HOWD MY BRAIN EVEN COME UP W THAT #and he was v badly mutilated as well #and then this huge group of guys started fleeing the concert to cover up the murderer #i woke up and had a panic attack bc it didnt register at first that it was just a dream??#and then i took another nap like a couple hours later and i was the mc in this fantasy rpg and had to collect resources in that shopping #center thats like 3min away from my home aND IM JUST SO CONFUSED I NEED TO SLEEP BUT I CANT

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daily-hanamura · 2 years ago

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#p4 #persona 4 #p4g #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #anyone that says yosuke is nothing but mean and awful to Kanji should meet me in the parking lot #we're not going to throw hands im just going to show you my 100 slide powerpoint presentation on their complex dynamic #for me one of the most appealing things about yosuke is how human and realistic he's been written #he is simultaneously capable of immense empathy and care towards his friends while at the same time struggle with his own identity #combined with a difficultly in self expression that results in him making tactless and hurtful remarks at times #thats not to say it makes those remarks ok - far from it!#but i think reducing yosuke to just those remarks makes him a rather empty caricature #which is such a shame especially considering that his entire personal narrative arc has been about confronting himself so he can be better #but anyway yes he cares about his friends he cares about their well being so much #he didnt have any obligation or a responsibility to look out for his juniors but he did so anyway without anyone asking #and it's so!!! because kanji does not look like he needs babying at all. hes taller than both yosuke and yu and he looks way older too #kanji has taken care of biker gangs by himself and is known to be intimidating #not that any of that fazes yosuke? kanji is his friend now hes one of them and therefore yosuke immediately wants to look out for him #god hanamura yosuke you so!!!#AAAAAAAAH #he's good with his queue

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asgardian--angels · 4 months ago

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things I wish I could relive for the first time again:

that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.

because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.

like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.

#this is currently about arcane but it's also every fandom i've been in since the dawn of time #there is so much political discourse about how the show handled the piltover zaun conflict and class struggle and i just #like i don't even know what to say besides. art doesn't have to provide the correct answer you know #it's not asking you to accept their explanation as the right one. it's just presenting a story. a scenario. a nuanced one at that #which of course the internet is the enemy of nuance as we know #especially in arcane i thought it was fairly clear that the end wasn't the bright shining future anyone hoped it'd be.#was anyone right in their actions? did anything turn out the way they wanted? or was it just as messy and gray as real life #we're living in such a myopic time for art where it's believed every story must take the correct stance or be invalid or even harmful #instead of just offering a perspective. a lived experience. a hypothetical. a story.#and when it gets to be headache inducing all I can do is take myself back to how I felt when I watched the show for the first time #and I came away from the whole thing being incredibly moved and captivated by the entire story and its nuance.#i had no qualms and no criticisms and i was very impressed with the depth of storytelling surrounding the political parts of the plot #as well as the character arcs. i guess people like to dunk on viktor's s2 arc nowadays and i just. shrug. i was blown away by it #for me at least i have nothing but pure love and admiration for art after i've viewed it. it's only after interacting with fandom #that the criticisms seep in and now i can't unsee it and even if i don't agree with it it still muddies my ability to enjoy the art #fandom is a curse in that sense. like i seek out art that i enjoy. i have no desire to make myself dislike that art. whats the point #why are the biggest haters of a piece of media the 'fans' of it idk.#me finishing a show: wow i love all the characters and the plot and the cinematography! I want to talk to others about how cool it is!#meanwhile the fandom hating characters to the point of death threats to their creators #after 13 years in fandom i can say this - if you don't need to join the fandom for smth then don't lmao.#you'll be able to retain your genuine enjoyment of the thing.#that whole 'if you didnt like what i made then make your own' philosophy people use on fanfic/fanart should be applied more #to actual published art too. you should be able to meet art where it's at and if you don't like what it's saying or how it looks then #just move on and find something else. another branch of the 'the greatest enemy of the left is the left' tree imo #a show has a lot of queer rep? bash it to the point of making the creators go into hiding for not doing it how you think it should be #no artist will ever be able to satisfy everyone's demands. they just want to put their experiences and ideas into the world #creators that try to do good get more vitriol than those who never try. they're scrutinized harder and judged more harshly #it's just. one of those 'real fucking tired of fandom' nights. the best cure is just going back and rewatching the source material #all on your own and falling back in love with it. just you and your genuine connection with the art.#anyway what happened to steven universe was unforgiveable and it really ruined fandom for me. like. yall don't deserve nice things

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deoidesign · 1 year ago

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#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

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microwaving-tesilid-argente · 8 months ago

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hesphael makes me so gngnggnghhhh because on the surface ephael is the stupid and boisterous one, and hestio is the sullen and serious guy with common sense and who keeps ephael in line. And then you peel them back a little and you realise that actually they're both fun-loving little guys - both hestio and ephael will gang up on their nearest victim (tesilid/ash) with lots of cheer. And then you peel back them even more and you realise that actually, much more than Hestio putting up with Ephael's careless attitude, Hestio is the super prissy fussy princess and everyone around him are the ones who are indulging him. And at the same time, Ephael is actually generally very level-headed and calm, and there's been multiple instances of him holding Hestio back. And that in a world where aura users are quite rare, Ephael is a advanced aura user while Hestio is a weak fragile supporter who yells "Hey Ephael!!! Take better care of your delicate supporter!!" with zero shame. Ephael may be the one who's always getting scolded and snarked at by Hestio, but he's definitely the one who's in charge of making sure Hestio doesn't accidentally kill himself. Do you get it do you get it.

#a transmigrator's privilege #the perks of being an s class heroine #hesphael #EPHAEL'S GAPPPP #guy who is presented as loud cheerful always smiling and boisterous and a little stupid #but who is. when you look carefully. actually pretty quiet and calm and literally always watching #SHAKES HIM DOWNNNNN #i wish hesphael were more prominent characters SO BAD #canon is so tesi/lette focused that even though hestio and ephael are so much fun.#theres literally no chance of them getting the development that they hv the potential for #anw ephael simultaneously being the silliest guy in this story barring ailette and also #the guy who would be the first kill everyone in the room and then himself #he has as much range as tesilid himself and he didnt have to go through all those regressions first. guy came out the womb like that #(jk tesilid alr had a lot of depth when he was first introduced in the toy mansion arc as well)#(the 'why am i the only one who has to do this' and 'youre not anyone special. you dont have to sacrifice yourself.' my beloveds!!!!!)#(tesilid is the childhood era ML with the most depth i swear. he felt like a real little kid)

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aurorangen · 2 years ago

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It was about time for Renee to find out

Transcript & Context:

[Renee walks along the beach and sees Robbie with his friends…and Keon]

Renee: I need to speak to you. Robbie: [sighs] What do you want? Spit it out here. Renee: Alone.

Renee: Stay away from Keon. Robbie: Why should I do that? [under his breath] My god you're so fucking annoying. Renee: [debating whether to tell him what happened] He's trouble.

Robbie: I don't know what history you two have or how you even know him, but at least Keon treats me like someone. Not invisible like you do to me at school. Renee: Why can't you listen to me for once? I'm telling you the truth-

Robbie: When things go well, you come and ruin it. But do you know how humiliating it was starting high school and getting ignored by your sister? Oh you don't want to be related to the loser with no friends. Renee: [quietly then loses it] No, it's not like that, that's not fucking important right now-

Robbie: How your reputation as top student would fall if you talked to me? How people pity you for having a brother with issues? Renee: [Renee has never been this angry] Robbie, shut up and listen to me.

Robbie: Get lost. I don't wanna hear it.

I know I didn't show any of their interactions at school or focus much on Robbie having a hard time, but everything he said is true: Renee has not been the most supportive big sister. Being overshadowed by her all his life, pressure from his Dad as a kid, favouritism, low confidence, everything adds up to how he is now. And it really is a shame he doesn't believe Renee.

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #postcard legacy #postcard gen 2 #renee reichmann #robbie reichmann #i didnt show their difficult relationship but its actually THIS BAD #i didnt want it to go this bad but it makes it all more interesting #over the years it got worse but i dont think i presented it too well #some things the game autonomously did (him being mean and all)#his fears confidence and family dynamics. others i made them do #i always think of ideas later on and if i could i would go back and #do everything differently #with a stronger storytelling element #but it is what it is im improving now #keon mahelona

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miawinters · 1 month ago

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i saw lady, so i was just reminded of this, but her character had some of the most egregiously misogynistic writing from capcom i've seen. every scene with her made me cringe how dante spoke to her, and when she fought as a boss to determine who beats her father, i was begging there to be some secret scripted scenario where she wins. the scene where her evil dad, that she came to kill, convinces her he always cared, and it was the mean teenager who manipulated him, which has her cry for him, her not having a name and not naming herself, but basically being named by dante, and what's worse is her keeping "lady"!!! her giving her personal weapon with her mom's name on it to this guy she just met, her crying alone instead of ever joining the fight. vergil gets a cool BROS moment w dante while i guess she's walking back towards them?? crazy

#personal #i mean i guess she wasnt sexualized to hell but everything else.#and ik aprt of it is the game in general's writing. idk what the plot rlly was and it was basically two bros fighting over ~power~#while vergil thinks he can use a guy who is trying to use him. so lady being manipulated by him real quick bc he's the true big bad #ig fits the game but its so bad with her character. i felt like i was gonna scream at the screen. like girl no!! why change u mind #instantly?? i even thought she might have been brainwashed but no she just had a dumb moment ig #her being presented as a bitter bengeful girl could have been cool... but she can only kill off the weakest enemies in cutscenes #and u beat her in the fight to go fight her dad and she cries and deals with him after.#it was so... i think women should be written well but w every bad scene i almost wished she wasnt there. trish and the other girl #were better i think. they didnt have dante teasing/cleaning up for her #why couldnt she have called herself Kalina Ann jr or smth. or asked dante if he knows any cool women. take his mom's name lol #trish already took her face tho so that'd probably be weird fhjsdfkj. anyway

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windupaidoneus · 1 month ago

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HUGE THISTLE WIN my irl friend says she knows someone who can drive & shes willing to ask them to drive me to appointments when i need it!! shes also trying to get her license herself but obviously its gonna take a bit. either way its so relieving to know i can maybe finally go to dr appointments more regularly 😭 ihavent seen a gp in nearly two years & she had me leave after ten minutes

#i didnt even bring up half the things i'd come there for so im still wondering what that was about #it is really funny that as of present none of my irls can drive. dont even ask about me you know damn well id crash that car #like three maybe more unmedicated inattention disorders we are GOING to hopital if i am behind the wheel #also affording a car. imagine.

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venomgender · 2 months ago

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i do not enjoy suicide baiting and am generally opposed to thinking Anyone should kill themselves With that being said i need my mom to kill herself.

#well not really i thihk that would make our current problems worse but Something Drastic Needs To Happen.#bday in 9 days! haha! didnt think it was possible to have a worse bday than last years or the one a few years ago! and yet!#Did you know? its possible to combine bad birthdays by being forced to experience the exact thing that made 2 different bdays bad #at the Same Time?#but no man. its cool. at least this time im not going to be sat in an empty room in a house im not familiar with #because we were forced to move a few days before my bday #but instead i will be sat in an empty room in a house i AM familiar with because we're forced to move a few days After my bday :) its cool:#who knows :) maybe i will even be kicked out because there will be a house showing On My Birthday :)#or maybe i will actually get presents this year and that present will be that there will be no house showings On My Birthday :)#does anyone else remember when bdays primarily brought joy instead of despair #posting

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wackywatchdotcom · 2 months ago

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Have you seen the animatic that was made between Pomni's voice actor and Striker's voice actor when they were doing character prompts together? Pomni essentially is given a gun and goes mad with power.

ohhh im not sure!!! ive scoured around for many of the va things before but im not sure i know that one.... i looked it up and there seems to be a few so im not sure which one youre specifically referring to, but i watched one. im truthfully not particularly interested in stuff with the other character or that show (sorry!) but i do appreciate lizzie freemans performance... i like when pomni is Like That in the least pleasant or cute way possible, its very good :]

#ask #i hope we see more of this type of pomni behavior...#we didnt get MUCH of it in ep 4 and its more mild in eps 2 n 3 compared to the pilot #(and i think its only not really present in ep 4 cus the adventure IS so normal. its right up her alley)#BUT its important to me... she needs to be like this more #i mean i think in a lot of extra materials pomnis personality gets a little hammed up more than it normally is in canon #but still!!! we havent seen this side of her since the pilot and i dont imagine its gone forever. were gonna see smth awful happen later #and i get the feeling pomni wont handle it all well #character who is easily scared and who hates horror being put in a horrific situation that is fated to go wildly downhill. good luck pomni #but yea!! smth that endeared me early on to pomni was that shes extremely nervous but its like. not in a cute way #just in a 'this character is stressed as fuck and handles situations poorly in the right conditions'#and i appreciate a character who isnt jittery or on edge in a way that is pleasant to their peers #but also isnt presented as smth that makes them weird in a bad way where u still shouldnt care that theyre nervous or struggling #to handle things...#if that all makes sense HAHA

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dullahandyke · 1 year ago

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Films good movies good banshees of inisherin was good

#mfw a movie has irish slang in it and i am familiar with it instead of usamerican stuff #i have Some Thoughts on the setting of inisherin + the time period given the givens abt the aran islands #but nothing concrete. might meditate on it #like ok im no scholar on the aran islands ive been there a couple times ive read a couple articles thats it #but like. the tourism leaning into their image of Old Irish Villagín With Sheeps And Stone Walls basically overruns its reputation #and the islands have leaned hard into the tourism and portraying themselves as True Irish Old Villages or whatever #and thus settles the situation where like. everything about the islands pander to the tourists #the islands themselves are not doing well as places to live iirc #aging population people moving away lack of amenities and funding and resources that arent Tourism #its a gaeltacht but the tourism business mandates knowing english etc etc etc lotsa shit #like i had a school friend from an island and she was always unreachable on breaks bcos the island didnt have wifi #SO! the islands around ireland suffer from lack of facilities while bending to tourism bcos they gotta #BACK 2 BANSHEES to be clear inisherin isnt an actual island but it was filmed on inish mór and very clearly based on the arans #i like the island setting bcos of the sense of isolation it gives i think it was a good choice for the movie #HOWEVER its like. you know the thing where all irish media needs to be set in the old times #when we were all wearing aran wool jumpers and playing our little instruments and being cute historical dotes #yeah. that. compounded with the aran islands wicked having to play into that in the present day #like banshees itself isnt that bad an offender. the island setting just makes it more obvious and you could tick lines off on a bingo sheet #(shoutout to the obligatory civil war reference)#where was i going with this. im tired of weird 'back when ireland was ireland' shit being Thee thing to make art abt #this is why young offenders is the best piece of irish cinema this decade. i need to rewatch the young offenders

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swag696942069 · 2 years ago

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Do you guys think that Barty and Pandora still hung out after Reg, Evan, and Dorcas died? (Please say yes I'm gonna throw up!)

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murderyn · 10 months ago

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peeks in. hi im alive (barely) just know ilu all lots and ur all super amazing and i hope you're all doing well! ( and thank u for being patient with me. i rlly RLLY wanna write and reply to stuff im just so busy i barely have time to think )

#i got home like 3 hours ago and basically spent 3 hours laying on my couch doing nothing #i didnt even take a nap (i should have tho)#i only barely gained enough energy to get up lol #i need to make dinner #eat food #go to bed #( had a busy day. filming in the morning for job and presentation in the afternoon for uni )#( both went well. im just super fucking tired lol )#🐲 ooc // i'll probably be awake to 3am for no reason

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doodlepede · 8 months ago

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i wonder if the blog stalker persists...

#you agreeeeeeeed i present like bpd and then you're so shocked when im like actually mentally ill and not just autistic #and you could barely stand that lets be so real #i was such a great big inconvenience. clumsy. awkward. obsessive. sensitive. dumb. so fucking dumb #yeah shockerrrr i didnt fucking react well to being basically ghosted. yeah of course i split. who wouldn't.#im worried about hawk now that trumps elected.#i wont forgive him for demanding i turn out my pockets. still i worry. i hope he stays safe. his family and friends too. i pray for that #none of this had to happen. we could have been friends. not if it meant being a token and disowning my people. never for that.#im hoping for a miracle. that the red mirage is true and trump didnt win. for both our families. thats why i thought we werent so different.#go ahead and dm me again blog stalker. i might even read it

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