#probably to have fun matching names for her and oswald

[rosiesdisneydrama]

I was body-slammed by thoughts over Mickey and Minnie Mouse finally being in the public domain a couple days ago and the fact that I've heard peck all about projects with them since the initial news came out.

And I- I feel I need to share the two game genre ideas I've had just to get them out of my head.

The first one is a farming sim/casual adventure game about Mickey deciding to bail out of Hollywood now that his acting contract was finally up and doing something peaceful and quiet with himself.

The idea of him leaving and doing something calming/simple speaks to me, man.

Especially since it could carry an outstanding story about reconnecting (if you put Oswald in the game as a neighbor) or taking time to care for your own mental health over dealing with social media/high-stress businesses.

Because that mouse has been through some sh*t and as long as the writers kept it vague (to avoid the stuff still under copyright and trademark) they could have a damn good story about unpacking shelved mental and emotional issues, undoing unhealthy coping habits (like always having to be positive/a good role model. Mickey is, like, the poster boy for Golden Child issues), and stuff like that.

There is potential there and I have yet to see people use it.

The second one is giving Minnie the chance to star in an rpg where she gets to be one of the heroes instead of the Damsel in Distress.

Minnie could be an awesome player character and it could be fun to flip the script for once and have her go on the adventure and rescue Mickey. Maybe let her team up Sadie/Ortensia and play around with a potential besties/in-laws relationship between them.

(If you really wanna add some potential drama to the party, have both Sadie/Ortensia and Fanny Cottontail in the party with Minnie.)

Plus, it's always fun to try and expand on underutilized characters and throw them into situations they wouldn't normally deal with.

I am just- Rotating these mice now that it's fully sunk in for me that it's legal for people to make non-disney content with them

[oswaldxmarks]

She makes a face at her coffee. He just watches, a little baffled, a little intrigued by her actions. She's not taking any of this seriously. He shouldn't be either, none of this should fucking matter.

And there's something about realizing he's making a fool of himself in front of her and her demon that has this all feeling so much worse. And Ozzy was being no help, lying practically dormant as he was drunk off of the night before. All the different sins at the party--gluttony and pride mostly, maybe some envy there as well-- along with the lust the two of them shared. And maybe having demon sex made him even more placated.

Probably why he should talk to Mary. Because she seemed to actually know anything about any of this.

But as she reintroduces herself, and her demon, there's something that feels... strange. She calls her demon cool and says they have a great time. Did he have a great time with his? Yes, think of all the fun nights at the casino. You got rich because of his help. But what about the memory gaps. What about the way you can feel yourself being eaten from the inside out?

He stops himself from thinking about that as he feels Ozzy begin to stir.

"I'm Oswald or Oz," he says, copying her format. "Sharing with Ozzy. That's... that was his name, it's just a happy coincidence." The fact that their names go so perfectly. A match made in hell. "He's--" A part of me? Taken over half my mind and personality to the point where I don't even know if I'm me or I'm him half the time? A power hungry leech slowly but surely dissolving my entire sense of self? "He's a good time, for sure."

Oswald twists their coffee mug on the table. Fidgeting again. "I don't know, I just..." What did he want to know? She'd already answered some of his questions by discussing how good of a time she and her demon had with each other. "I've had him with me for a really long time, and I've never really gotten to talk about it out loud before. Or say that he exists. It's kinda weird to be able to talk about it. Are people here actually open about it, or are you just a special case?"

@boointhenight

Morning After Chats || Boozy

[gayestnerdsinfiction]

Danse Macabre

everyone wish a happy happy birthday/halloween to @korereapers and give her a big thank u for inspiring me to write this fic!! 

read on ao3

Jonathan was known for being reserved, stoic, even rigid at times. He was not the kind of person people associated with a fun time, and as a result his name rarely made it onto event guest lists. Until he began seeing Edward he had very little reason to find himself at any social function, much less a party. But that didn’t mean the Scarecrow couldn’t appreciate a bit of debauchery every so often.

Edward often made a point of bringing Jonathan as his plus-one to the various outings he occupied his time with, and Oswald’s annual Halloween party was no different. Edward had approached Jonathan on the fifteenth of September—two weeks before Oswald’s invitations even made it into the mail—to discuss potential couple’s costumes. By October first Edward had all but locked himself away in his office, the sewing machine running tirelessly for hours at a time.

When Jonathan finally got to see the finished costumes, he had to admit he was impressed with his partner’s handiwork. They were two eighteenth century style suits, one in a brilliant emerald silk and the other in midnight blue velvet. The green suit was paired with a black waistcoat and cream colored cravat. The blue ensemble had gold detailing on the lapels with a waistcoat to match, and when Jonathan ran his fingers across the fabric even he could identify its quality.

“You couldn’t settle for storebought costumes?” Jonathan asked, never resisting a moment to criticize his lover’s extravagance.

“Store-bought vampire costumes are so passé,” Edward replied, as if everyone should know that. “If you really want to stand out, you need to apply a personal touch.”

“Mm,” he hummed, still fingering the blue velvet absently. “So I’m Lestat, then?”

“Yes. And I shall be your naïve, corruptible Louis.” With a flourish, he donned the shoulder length wig he had ordered to complete the look, dark strands falling sloppily over his own orange locks. “I have his eyes,” he said, batting his lashes to draw attention to the eyes in question, an even more brilliant green than the costume. “Though, your hair is probably better suited for Louis’ style. He’s the brunette, after all.”

“If you expect me to put on a blond wig, you are sorely mistaken.”

“I don’t expect any such thing, darling. I only expect you to humor me by dressing up as toxic gay vampires for one night.”

That was something Jonathan could provide. After all, he could do toxic gayness any day of the year.

Though he had put his foot down about the wig, Edward had been able to coax him into wearing a pair of plastic fangs in addition to the elaborate, if narratively inaccurate, costume. With his messy curls and cool brown skin, Jonathan wasn’t much of a match for the vampire Lestat. Edward, however, completely looked the part. His eyes were sharp, wig set perfectly on his scalp, false nails and fangs securely in place. The natural pallor of his skin was fitting for the role, and his freckles had been obscured by creamy, ivory foundation. He was stunning, of course, with all the allure and charm one would expect from a bloodsucking creature of the night. Jonathan felt like a cheap imitation standing beside him, an eyesore by contrast, even though he was wearing a custom velvet suit. He was no competition, that was for sure.

But they weren’t here to compete, he had to remind himself. After all, most of the Lounge’s occupants were too inebriated to notice the details of their costumes, and those that weren’t were too interested in achieving such a state to care. And, after he downed a few drinks himself, Jonathan decided he didn’t really care either.

He was just polishing off two fingers of Scotch when he felt Edward’s soft hand slip into his own, tugging slightly. “Dance with me,” he requested, his voice a little too loud. “I love this song.”

Jonathan had no idea what song it was; some pop garbage with a blaring drumbeat. But he got to his feet and allowed himself to be led into the throng of bodies undulating under the strobing lights. Jonathan liked to dance, and he liked it even more when he was drunk. Even though the music was less than interesting, he couldn’t help but feel his body settle into a comfortable rhythm. His hands found Edward’s waist, pulling the smaller man close against him. Edward responded in kind, pushing his hips back to grind his ass against Jonathan’s groin. One of his hands moved to tangle in Edward’s hair, giving it an experimental tug.

“Careful!” Edward yelped, straightening up almost instantly. “Don’t snatch my wig off in front of everyone.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, not feeling especially apologetic. He swept the curtain of hair to the side and pressed his lips to the nape of Edward’s neck, allowing one of his fangs to dig lightly into his skin.

“Mm,” Edward hummed, turning to face his partner. “You’re not sorry.” He kissed Jonathan, plastic teeth knocking together awkwardly. Before Jonathan could lean in to kiss him again, Edward’s hand appeared in the space between them, pressing a finger to his lips. “One more dance and then we can leave,” he said sternly.

Jonathan sighed, knowing that one dance could easily become two, or three, or a conversation with a friend, or God knows what else. But Edward’s charm was difficult to resist, even when he didn’t look as good as he did right then. He was dazzling as Louis, but he would’ve made a fantastic Lestat. “Fine,” he acquiesced. “One more dance.” 

[strewnlimbs-blog]

www.InkIt&SinkIt.com

@lin-rinku​ Alright, I’ve finished one drabble request. This is your Soulmates and Online Dating, hope you have fun! When Ink It & Sink It went online at first many thought it to be an extreme invasion of privacy. People were paid money based on either the amount of common, unique soulmate markings they found, or they were paid larger sums for more desired celebrities. Politicians, actors, the wealthy, anyone who normally didn’t display their marks to anyone.

Now, the website was a more welcomed relief to many who browsed the hundreds of thousands of photos daily to try and find themselves on someone’s arm.

Many things could be found in the ink-like markings that stained people’s skin. Preferred patterns, interests, hobbies, favorite shapes, anything related to who the individual was meant to be with. It was a seemingly unnatural event that began before anyone could remember. Since there had been people… there were markings. It was discovered in the last 50 years that humans had an octopus-like, muscular pigment reaction they had little control over. What linked them, and what caused them to produce patterns like they did in one main area was still a mystery.

All markings had stages to inform their wearers just how close, far, or bonded with their soulmates they were.

So when Oswald noticed one evening his simple inner forearm markings had wrapped around his forearm completely, all in a smokey grey, he was horrified. He’d met his soulmate that day at some point, but because of his suit and layers he’d never noticed when it was that the sides and back of his forearm became littered in precise stains.

It started out with a small set of question marks on his inner wrist, four of them in total with two upwards and two upside-down, one after the other. He was as confused as the markings were and 19 at the time. That was the time his soulmate was somewhere in his city.

After that, the closest he’d ever gone to his soulmate was between 7 to 12 blocks away when odd pixel characters and what might have been spacecraft appeared up his forearm with several more question marks. His markings were a mess of splayed interests.

Now though, now he had markings wrapped around his forearm entirely, different angular patterns and something that looked like a kind of science or math thing. To be honest, it was far beyond his wheelhouse.

Whoever was his supposed soulmate was probably some lanky, young, 20-something that played games all day. Anything from couriers to informants could be his soulmate… luckily, it was decidedly someone new. And if they were his soulmate then he’d end up loving them no matter what they looked like… It was all some sort of trap, he hated it.

He had a criminal underground to run.

He had no time for these games.

Unfortunately for Oswald, his curiosity was a downfall.

If his soulmate was the kind of social outcast he expected them to be, he knew they’d post their markings online in order to find their match. It was going to be all too easy to find himself in their desperation. And when he knew what they looked like, he could officially reject them in his mind and move on. He bet he’d hate them. His markings wouldn’t darken at all because he didn’t care.

And he never would.

Four days later and still nothing in the new postings looked like him.

How could someone not want to find him? Him! Of all people! He was powerful, wealthy, influential, handsome, why wouldn’t someone post their markings if not to at least brag to the public about who they matched with.

Unless…

Unless they were dead.

Unless something happened to his soulmate that was beyond their control and they hadn’t been able to post about him. That had to have been it. Otherwise someone should have been knocking on his door.

For the time being, Oswald had been covering his markings with different foundations and concealers, attempting to have his markings stay hidden. Even if his sleeve rolled up, if he shook hands, or raised his arms. He didn’t want a peek of his markings getting out.

He’d shove them in his soulmate’s face first and demand to know who they were and why he shouldn’t kill them on the spot. That would leave an impression that hopefully would run them off.

Oswald would be able to live his life burden free once more. And maybe if he got them scared of him or hating him then perhaps he could get the markings to fade to nothing? It was worth a shot.

Markings could change, in very rare cases, but he was a rare kind of person. He could have nature itself bend the rules for him just this once.

The next three days were spent with Oswald’s soulmate in mind, taking stops to the same places he went the day his markings expanded his arm, but either no one showed the markings or he didn’t want to ask strangers who had him for fear of what he might find.

Well.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

That night, one week from the day that his markings expanded, he took a picture of his freshly washed markings, posting them online anonymously. He kept his name and status as far away from the site as he could, trying to be the regular Joe Blow trying to find his match.

Within two hours, he had a message to a dummy email account he made mentioning someone was sending him a private connection through the site. Not to seem too excited, he let it sit for a couple hours, checking the message he got before he went to bed.

‘Hi. I am reasonably sure, beyond a doubt in fact, that you have me on your arm. And if this looks like you, I believe we are matched.’

It was mostly to the point, the message coming with an attached picture of what was seemingly a lean forearm, a sweater pushed up to the elbow, hand appearing long with the thin fingers spread.

Along the skin were soft grey lines, some standing on their own and others thatched together. What looked to be rubber-stamp styled penguins occupied his arm, though there were only two. One larger and one smaller. Along with it an umbrella that looked suspiciously like the ones he had embroidered on his shirt cuffs. What appeared to be musical bars across the man’s inner wrist and bands of lace taking up filler areas.

He had seen faked markings before, ones meant to be for him. Usually incorporating murder, crime, some sort of knife display. Those were what people saw, these… no one would associate him with lace.

He never touched it, never had it around in public eye. Even in his manor, there was no lace in sight. And he knew the pattern on the forearm in the picture. That was from the one thing of his mother’s that he refused to get rid of after her death. A lace shawl she wore on breezy summer days.

Something never connected to him, but he loved it.

That was too personal for this to be fake.

‘I would say that, yes, that does look remarkably like what I’d identify with. Who are you?’

‘If you don’t mind I’d like to remain nameless for now. I know who you are though, Mr. Penguin. And I’m keeping things secret for… security reasons.’

Security reasons?

‘What is so important that you can’t tell me who you are?’

‘I might be… in some way, connected to something involving you and I don’t want to get too close just yet. Soon, I promise! Give me another week?’

‘I don’t seem to have much choice until then, do I?’

‘I’m afraid not. I have to go, busy day ahead of me tomorrow, but… could we talk again?’

‘It seems that we’re destined to, so I imagine I can make time.’

‘Wonderful! Okay, we will exchange pleasantries then. Goodnight, Mr. Penguin.’

Oswald didn’t bother to return the sentiment, leaving his computer with a confused scowl. This was ridiculous, he was acting so inappropriately for his position. Here was some, likely, civilian at his doorstep, claiming to be his partner and he was in no place to be taking some bright-eyed Gothamite into his realm of underground activity.

And still, the next night, he sat in waiting at his computer. His anticipation was through the roof for when the other would message him again. When the ding went off, he couldn’t help but scramble for the mouse, nearly knocking over a glass of whiskey close by himself.

‘How was your day, Mr. Penguin?’

How was his day…? How was his day? This person was honestly asking how his day was?

‘Are you sure you’re allowed to answer that without getting too close?’

‘...’ ‘Just how much criminal activity is in your day that you can’t answer how it went?’

‘I can guarantee my day was full of much less criminal activity than one might believe.’ ‘It went well, this is my first chance to relax today so I’m taking advantage of it.’

‘Sounds like you try to run a tight ship.’

‘Oh, I do. There is little room for error in my business.’

What did he do? Was he giving preferential treatment because he knew? Was he approaching this differently than he would with another because of the markings?

Who was he kidding, of course he was. This was the natural reaction, he was going to be taken in by the thought, the romance of finding a partner. Drat… No problem. He was aware of what he was doing and why, he could curb that behavior quickly.

‘Thank you for asking, few people do. How was your day?’

Damn it.

‘Trust me, I know how you feel. And you’re welcome, it’s the little things that can make a difference. :)’ ‘My day was full, I can’t speak too much about it. Criminal activity and all. What I can say though, is that I find it fascinating how many ways you can crack a human skull with something as small as the right force and a quarter.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You’d be surprised the kind of damage simple pocket change can do in the right hands. Or in a crack in flooring or a sidewalk. Very few times is it lethal though. People can have things impaled in their brain and still function as they had or with only minor impairment.’

‘Is this the kind of conversation you always hold with new partners?’

‘I must say, it depends on the time of year. From late spring to early fall there is quite the boost in tourism in Gotham, and anything from gift shops to street vendors become so much more common. Even little things like Scout cookies. It produces a lot of opportunity for pocket change, and that gets a brain thinking.’

Oswald leaned back in his chair, seeing how the other didn’t seem to understand that a regular person wouldn’t begin a conversation like that. Let alone carry on with it when it was pointed out. He was… defending that this was his topic of focus?

‘What can I call you?’

‘Mr. E.’

Mr. E. Mister E. Mistery. Mystery…

Damn it.

‘I am not calling you Mr. E. That is to say that you’re a mystery and I refuse to walk into that word play.’

‘That disappoints me a little, but unsurprising. You can call me Ed.’

There a name. Even made up, he could work with that and not a stupid alias. And especially not an even more stupid name like a super villain from 1953.

‘Well, Ed… Tell me all that you can about cracking a human skull with pocket change.’

To Oswald’s surprise, the Ed he was talking to had a surprising amount of ways to maim a man with a nickel. Ed had a lot of anatomical knowledge in general, or just general knowledge, he seemed to be well read.

Well read. Smart. Criminal activity…

Either he was someone’s informant, accountant, specialized torturer, something like what he had with Mr. Penn or the Dentist respectively. Or he was one odd civilian. It could really go either way. The night though, was overall enjoyable, Oswald staying up until Ed had to part himself from the chat, heading to bed in order to sleep before work several hours later.

Ed told him about how to browse the mobile site, where to go for messages and how it worked. Ed also seemed to be quite technically capable.

Oswald didn’t expect half way through his day in the morning to get a picture of a cadaver with several pieces of long grass sticking out from wounds he had. He looked like a bruised and broken mess. Even from only the waist up.

‘A dead man is found in the middle of a field, no footprints on scene. He had an unopened package with him. How did he die?’

A question? A scenario? A… riddle?

Oswald set his phone back down, focusing on the meeting he was in with several other men large in the Gotham underground. They were all sat around a circular table in a restaurant Downtown, business nearly concluded with the more frequent personal stories that were being shared.

Where would Ed have gotten a body? That didn’t look like an average picture on the internet, that looked like an actual picture. One he took on his own phone and sent. When business was finished, Oswald took out his phone, typing a message and claiming it to be to a lackey.

‘Ed. Is that an actual body?’

He had to wait, but eventually a reply came eight minutes later.

‘...’ ‘No?’

‘Don’t lie to me, I know what a body looks like, Ed. Where did you find that?’

‘Do you give up on the riddle?’

So it was a riddle.

‘I don’t know. Fell?’

‘In a field?’

‘I don’t know what buildings are in a field, I’m not a farmer. Are there tire treads?’

‘What?’

‘Tire treads. Did someone kill him for his package and dumped him from a vehicle?’

‘No… Do you give up?’

‘Then I don’t know. A plane? Helicopter? Some flying device? He fell from one of those.’

‘You are close! Parachuting incident. His parachute didn’t open and he hit the ground. Quite the brain teaser, don’t you think? :)’ ‘Also, I borrowed the body from work. I’ve waited some time for the right one to come in for this, though this foliage isn’t correct for a field crop… I assumed that this was the closest I’d be able to find naturally.’

Ed was… so, so odd. He borrowed a body? Where did one borrow a body? Was this a service he could buy in on?

Sometimes one needed a body.

‘Naturally? You were willing to stage a body with leaves from a field crop to be able to fulfill your visual for your riddle?’

‘Well… yes. Accuracy is key in most riddle descriptions so it can be solved.’

It seemed so obvious to Ed, of course that’s how things worked. Why would you not go for 100% authenticity? Why not have a body on hand in order to fully express one’s wishes? And use a corpse to ask a riddle, of all things…? He was an oddball.

Intriguing though.

“Penguin? Penguin, what’s your take on this?”

Oswald was taken back to reality by one of the large men asking him a question to something he knew Oswald hadn’t heard. The smallest of the group rolled his eyes with annoyance, tossing a hand up to give a dramatic, unsure gesture. “Have you tried strangling?”

“For… the dinner my mother-in-law insists on?”

“If she’s rowdy it might help calm her briefly. I don’t judge the methods if the results bring the desired outcome.”

‘How was your day?’

‘After your… interesting afternoon surprise, uneventful. A party to attend in a few days’ time. Nothing extravagant, a birthday gathering. And yours?’

‘My coworker did not understand my riddle setup like you had.’

‘Whaaat? ...Now, how could that be?’

Why would anyone understand that completely? It made sense why someone would question that, even in his line of work. Though different questions, there’d be questions.

‘I don’t get it either, I thought I made it quite clear. ...Maybe I need to be more obvious? Maybe I need a new approach?’

‘Maybe you need to think twice before you try to use a corpse as a quiz towards everyday citizens that don’t understand a morbid twist on an interesting game?’

‘You thought it was interesting?’

‘It was at the very least… a surprise. Intriguing. It certainly spiced up my lunch meeting.’

There was an awkwardly long pause, Oswald staring at his screen for over ten minutes before a reply came back. Whatever the pause was for, he supposed he could wait, but he had other things he could be attending to. Ed was just… a special case.

He was doing it again…

‘We can’t yet, but when possible… Would you be interested in meeting for coffee or tea somewhere? There’s a cafe Downtown that boast they have the most comfortable chairs and it plays live lounge jazz on Wednesday afternoons. They’re actually quite good.’

Oswald leaned back in his seat, thinking of the offer. Who knew when that thing would be finished. It could be weeks from then. Special treatment or not… it had been some time since he went out casually. And if Ed didn’t want anything from him it would be a rare occasion to not deal with grubby hands trying to pry his money or power from him. Hm.

‘I will have one of my men accompany me, as you may understand, but he will be by an exit. Overall, it sounds agreeable.’

‘You’ll go? Oh. Okay, then yes, your man should have no issue finding a space for himself to watch, I… Good! I hope we finish this soon!’

‘I hope you do not disappoint me. I look forward to this, Ed.’

Oswald, covered in layers still, unable to witness the slightly darker shade his markings took, the two forming a connection over the anticipated meetup. He wouldn’t notice until he got prepared for bed, taking off his suit and shirt to see the darkened stain more obviously on his pale skin.

Drat…

Although they had just over a week to wait, the messages continued each night. The amount depending on when Oswald finished his business for the day and when Ed had to pack it up for sleep. Still, they exchanged words regardless of the amount.

They made plans to meet using one of the mystery man’s days off in order to have time on the appropriate day to hear the music play that Ed suggested. Oswald still didn’t know what it was Ed exactly did, but somehow he could be involved at this point.

He had ideas of what the other did, but no confirmation.

Oswald waited in the cafe on one of the seats, that truly was as comfortable as advertised, one of his men sitting in the corner with a paper in his hands to blend in better. The underground boss checked his watch, having arrived early to be polite, but even as the time ticked to their agreed upon meeting hour… no one approached him. He still didn’t know what Ed looked like in order to pick him out of the crowd, but Ed knew who he was. Mr. Penguin. He was waiting for anyone to call him such.

As ten minutes ticked by, he wanted to be upset, though a glance to his phone and the site had confirmed Ed sent a warning he’d be late. For what reason, he didn’t specify, but that he’d be late. It was proper warning before they were to meet so… he supposed he could let that slide.

Twenty three minutes late, but truly who was counting, the door was pushed open by a man with an armload of items. He seemed to struggle somewhat between his balancing act and the door, but managed to slide his way into the cafe with only slight troubles. Oswald ignored the noises, sat back to the door as he didn’t need to be anxiously staring at every person that walked in.

Footsteps by his chair, however, got his attention. Oswald’s eyes stealing a glance from as far as they could see without him moving his head, noting the well polished, well worn, brown leather shoes that stopped next to his chair.

“Mr. Penguin?”

The name drew Oswald’s attention upwards, following long legs covered by reasonable khakis. A working class set of pants. Eventually the pants were covered at the waist by a faded, green sweater over a white dress shirt, black tie barely peeking over the collar of the sweater. He was tall. Not outrageously thin, but he was slender and tall. In one arm he must have held four or five boxes. Long fingers clasped around several objects to help steady them against his chest.

A long neck attached to a square jaw, cheekbones that could cut glass, large glasses that fit his face well. Brown, chestnut hair parted off center and combed into place with what looked to be extreme care and precision. Hmm.

“Ed?”

The tall man lit up with a smile, trying to extend a hand to shake, but nearly dropped his payload on the floor. He smiled with some embarrassment, instead putting everything on the table in front of Oswald’s seat and sat across from the crime lord. “Uh… Hi! I’m Edward. Edward Nygma.” He offered his hand with much more success now, somewhat out of breath, though glowed with an ease and cheer that Oswald couldn’t deny was pleasant to see.

Not infectious, but pleasing.

Oswald met the handshake, never minding a formal introduction. “Oswald Cobblepot, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you face-to-face, Ed.” He took in the table with curiosity, raising a brow before his attention returned to the man across from him. “So what is all this?”

“These are… well they are meant to be for you, but… I wasn’t sure what to get. And then I thought about it, and decided against one thing for another, but I didn’t have time to go back to the apartment and get rid of the first thing. So then I carried two, but then came across something else, and…” Ed gestured to the table with a heavy sigh. “I didn’t want to be more late, so I took them all with me.”

Oswald snickered with some amusement, leaning forward in his chair with elbows resting on his thighs. “Well, let’s see what you brought. Display it all.”

Two different bouquets, a teddy bear, and a knife later, but Oswald had to say that he was relatively surprised by the gesture. Normally that was not something someone tried to do for him. Though he didn’t need any of it, he could at least show appreciation for the effort.

The meetup went as well for a first physical meeting, both men having at least two cups of tea while they were in the cafe. They spoke vaguely of life, Oswald unable to describe of many things he actually did, but Ed still listened carefully. He asked questions, but took them back if he wasn’t able to find out about the answer.

The two took in Edward’s markings, the man allowing Oswald to look at every detail of it in person, though the stain was reaching a stage of dark grey, surprising both men at its color. It made Oswald peek under his sleeve, his slightly lighter, but it too was darker than that morning.

Oswald kept his markings hidden, not wanting to have them exposed at all in public. He didn’t want anyone else catching an eye and snapping pictures, relating him to the post already made online. And Ed understood that, the two continuing conversation until Oswald had to leave.

The man reading the paper in the corner walked over, collecting what Ed had brought to take to the car parked outside, leaving the two alone to say their parting words.

“Well, Edward, this was surprisingly positive.” Oswald spoke, standing up from his chair and supporting himself with his cane. “You’ve changed my perspective on these… connections.” He described as he raised his marked arm, twisting it under his visual judgement, staring hard at his sleeve covered limb.

“I’m glad it turned out as it has.” Edward returned the sentiment, standing as well with his hands joined in front of himself. “Should we… do this again at a future date?”

Oswald nodded, walking away from his chair. “We should.” He agreed, getting halfway to the door with his guard coming back to walk him from the building to the vehicle. “Only next time, Edward… Don’t be late.”

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x14 - Review 

Is this technically a review? Sometimes I wonder if I should call this “highlights” or “reactions” instead but I do share opinions and recap the ending so...kind of a review? I’ll stick with review I suppose. 

Wait, why are you burning the mask? Did the hallucination mean nothing to you?!

I know it is supposed to be a bit revolting but the way that guy is eating that pickle makes me want one.

You know, if you had chewed quietly with your mouth closed, she might have let you live. #tablemannerscansavelives

"It's all about family" says the person that hired people to murder her father... 

"Never said it was a happy family" relatable, unfortunately.

I don't blame Alfred for refusing. Bruce, you suck at apologies. Try actually saying the word “sorry” next time. 

At least Alfred is giving him the chance to show him that he changed. 

I was wondering why Ed hasn’t tried any pills by now. Dude, that cannot be safe. I hope you know what you are taking.

"cuckoo pills" lol just the way he says it.

"Who's it from?" That smug expression as he pretends to be oblivious. 

Whoa whoa whoa *pauses to look at the letter and holds up giant magnifying glass* If there is a clue in here... I have no idea what it is. That being said, this letter of apology is amazing. I hope Oswald actually means it and doesn’t say “haha just kidding. I only sent it so you would find the clue and break me out” later.

"I think that's a nice letter" Okay, this made me laugh too much. I love you, you conniving piece of-wow, now I can’t get the riddler playing match maker out of my head. 

The Riddler:  "It's a nice letter...you should hear him out...possibly rescue him since you will already be there...cause some murder together while you are at it....maybe grab some dinner afterward...." 

I just picture him pushing even further, “Remember the good times you shared? Nursing him back to health, murdering mister Leonard, being his chief of staff, hallucinating him singing to you seductively...” “I was not-those were-UGH”

"I'm never going to forgive him" never say never Ed. You are destined villain soul mates apparently.

 "What has eyes but can't see?"  I think you are having way too much fun. Also, I don't know the exact answer but I am betting it has to do with not seeing the bigger picture with the letter or the origami penguin message.

Jim, you totally interrupted Lucius. He was on a role! I know you are worried about your boyfriend Harvey being dead with plants bursting from his body but let's look at priorities here. Harvey has decent sized plot armor and Foxy probably won't get much screen time in this episode, let him finish a sentence.       

"Too late" "No, we're not" He knows him so well. He just looks dead. It's how he sleeps. 

Speaking of which, look at how sprawled he is on that couch....when there is a bed inches away from him. Like, honestly, I know he is probably hung over/drunk but that's not a bad way to sleep. 

Harvey: *sees a squad of police that burst into the apartment* *thinks about what is most important* "Hey, someone's paying for that door!" 

"You can't put this on me!" "I'm not putting it on you!" Oh, grade A bickering right there... 

I guess you aren't a real villain until you end up on TV. How do the villains end up with this kind of connection? 

"...once I find my pants" At least you noticed before you started walking down the street. That's progress. 

The Narrows stealth squad is on the case!

"A complete set of encyclopedias...minus the T" *silence* "plus twenty bucks"  *cheers and runs out* 

Lol Ed. Yeah, don't blame them. Let's face it though, the main reason they weren't excited was because the T was gone. If it isn't complete, what is the point? 

I have so many thoughts from this short scene. 

First...what happened to the T? Was it stolen? Who stole it? Why did they want it?  

Second... Pretty certain the reason he chose encyclopedias was because that is what HE loved and wanted as a kid. That was little Eddie's dream right there. Ugh give us more on Ed’s childhood already!

Third... Ed does well with kids! I want an Ed/Martin scene. I want him to give him encyclopedias, teach him riddles, play video games together, etc. as Oswald wears matching outfits with Martin and teaches Martin how to murder. Give it to me, Gotham!

"You couldn't even stop her from hypnotizing your own cops" fair point. Selina would have better luck. 

Yes! I am so happy to see Selina say she is her friend. I love when the show focuses on these relationships and does not forget them.

Should have noticed something was fishy when Harvey actually did call, saying he got a lead. You know he would try to do this on his own.

Hit him Jim! Hit him like you did Lucius! ...Does Harvey have any hidden fighting/defense skills that we know nothing about too? 

"Cognitive impairment. Definite check. Though, to be fair, how would you know?" The super extra hand gestures are always a delight. 

Scenes like these make me laugh more than it should. It's like Ed doesn't need anyone else to make fun of him or insult his intelligence. He already has this covered....actually... this is also quite sad. As it is basically him belittling and making fun of himself...wow, I just totally ruined the moment for myself. 

"The only way to get rid of me is to kill yourself" Oh no...no...I thought this might come up as a possibility but I just assumed the show wouldn't go down this way. Such angst...I mean, I like the angst and it makes sense but...it is so real. 

I am kind of surprised that the "you shot my father" revenge decided to come into play now and not sooner. I guess she is more powerful and ruthless now but she had somewhat perfume power last season. 

"I'm sure whatever happened was your fault" Well, she isn't wrong.   

"So technically, your ex has been sleeping with your dead husband's mafia sister" lol well, when you put it like that, Ed... And this is what people who are not watching the show are missing. 

Imagine if Ed actually did tell Lee what has been happening, his issues and all. Would it make things better? Worse? He should really talk to someone about his problems before going suicidal.

I never noticed how great Harvey's hair was...he wears the hat so much that I forget he has hair under there, let alone how long it is.

"I've only got myself to blame" ...okay, Jim. This is the part where you say, "No, don't blame yourself. I screwed up too." Harvey did make some bad choices but you shouldn't let him take ALL the blame, even if you think it is true.  

"He's been everything to me...a teacher, a protector, he's been a father to me" That’s pretty ambiguous. Who are you talking about? Alfred? Jim? Your pet bird? I mean, he said he hoped he would give him another chance but didn't actually name names...

Crowd: "Yeah...but what about the foundation? What does this man taking care of you have to do with money? Where did the money go?"

 Come on, Bruce! Don't give up so easily. You are supposed to be more stubborn than this. 

This got dark fast. I know he won't kill himself but man...

He's going to try to get him to go to arkham so he can meet Ozzie, isn't he?  

Those flowers are rather lovely...although, I would prefer ones that didn't cause mass murder as they grow within the bodies of those that breath them, thanks. 

Yeah, you get them, Bruce! "This is who you are." Yes, thank you Alfred. Embrace it, Bruce. Embrace it! Honestly, it wasn’t that long ago when Alfred told him not to do stuff like this. Time really flies. 

Geez Jim, why can’t you be more careful when you shoot guns. 

If only he knew who he was chasing. Maybe he would use his time so much better if he was looking for Ivy instead. 

Get used to the disappearing, Jim.

It seems Bruce isn't the only one that will wait and creep in the darkness to get a drop on you. 

"Well, Selina Kyle turns out to be the hero" "I'm no hero" Maybe not but you are not as bad when compared to most criminals in the city. 

"I wasn't running. I was getting this. "  Thinking with her smarts there.

Selina, you are doing great. This is the stuff I love to see. 

Well, at least she got through to her enough to not murder her or turn her into a human plant incubator. Progress. 

Imagine if Ed was there with Lee. Wonder if they would have tried to shoot him dead too... 

What is with Gotham and their hand fetish?

You know, I have seen hands get cut off and stabbed every which way in this show but the hammer...the hammer is the one that gave me sympathy pains and had me cringing. Poor Lee, it sounded painful. 

Oh, Sofia, you are going to wish you didn't do that. You would have been better off if you had Lee as an ally. 

"Arkham doesn't get many volunteers" Can't imagine why. 

"You do know who I am, right?" It's like a famous person trying to get into a party. Except, I don't think this is a party Ed would want to get into. 

Wow, Oswald with his tears of happiness. He looks so proud and excited that his love letter was answered. 

Why does Oswald look totally insane in this scene? How long ago did he send the letter? I mean, he was miserable but he wasn’t quite like this.

Oswald: *is all excited, proud, and emotional* “He read my letter!”  This seems like the same reaction someone would have if a famous person liked or responded to their tweet/email/fanart. 

“I’m not talking to you Ed” Dang, first Ed was the third wheel in 4x12 with Lee/Jim and now here he is again with Oswald/Riddler. 

"I'm talking to him..." wait...so he knew about the riddler being...okay, I admit, I did not see this coming. At all. 

Ed looking back like, "You can see him too?" Honestly, he seems like he assumed Oswald knew nothing about what was going on so I can see why he might think that. Imagine how weird would it be if Oswald could see him. Like, it is not plausible but it would blow fans minds. 

"I see the other you" Hmm...just last episode you said I know you and now this. I feel like this needs to be added to an analysis somewhere.

The way Oswald lets go... he's trying not to be too rough. He has made similar movements with Ed before.

Earned it? Through what? Solving your clues and willing to break you out? Even when Oswald has to say the name he still has to be this way, giving an excuse like that. 

I really want to know how much Oswald actually understands. I don’t think he realizes how serious this is for Ed but it is all very unclear on what he does know. Great...this is going to bother me for at least a week now. 

"Please....don't...." Well, this makes me sad. I don't know how to feel about this. I hate seeing ed like this. 

"I need you....” *whispers* "riddler" Wow, okay. Thanks for this. That was more tender and sexual than intended. 

The Riddler needed to be Oswald-approved with his kink before he could show up.

Then caressing his hand against his cheek...totally a normal thing to do with an ex-best friend and co-conspirator. This scene is confusing my emotions. 

Ooh those laughs. They look so happy. The Riddler is coming! ...and with the Penguin! Nygmobbleplot begins. 

This Alfred and Bruce scene is so touching.  

"I'm home" yes, you are <3 Let's face it, the mansion is better than any place you were living any way. Cheaper, better food, more space, less getting framed for murder... 

You better specify when you knew that she hired the Pyg, Jim. Don't want him to think you knew too early. 

You decided to take her down now? It really should have been when you found out that she murdered her father but better late than never I guess. 

I am curious how long Sofia will last. Granted, she has quite a few people on her side...but she also has many enemies. I can't see it ending well. Better book a vacation and get out while you still can, girl.  

Over all: I enjoyed the episode a lot. It did bring some confusion on the Ed situation but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It is just kind of sad that it seems Ed/Riddler still is not “whole” yet. That being said, I need to see more before I make too many assumptions. I am interested in where it goes and excited to see what happen next. I am also happy to see Bruce changing his ways once again and seeing reunions all around. This should be fun now that everyone is back together again. Bruce and Alfred make up, Bruce accepts that he ready to save people again. Ivy and Selina have a confrontation where Selina tries to appeal to her friend, Ivy still flees. Harvey and Jim make up, plan to take down Sofia as Jim shares the truth with Harvey. Sofia crushes Lee’s hand that sends her to the hospital, essentially takes the Narrows more under her control. Ed deals with his riddler issues and ends up visiting arkham. The riddler has returned, teams up with Penguin, and is going to break him out of arkham.   

Previous review: 4x13   Next: 4x15

[thelastranger]

I had to write this soooo...

This was the worst couple of months of Duncan's life. Morgarath's coup, the man slandering his name, his father and mother taken, and the constant danger on Rosalind's life. It was enough to drive a lesser man mad.

The only thing that kept him sane was thinking of Rosalind and his father. Sweet memories were best, but between the lack of food and cold air, Duncan would take any memory to take his mind off of the torture.

People bleed into his dreams and memories all the time, rational or not. Rosalind was always on his mind and his poor father, but other people too. Morgarath, though those were more nightmares. Come to think of it, there were more nightmares than dreams. The harrowing boat trip that was more feelings than memory.

There was one trip that, though he was young, that Duncan would always remember. It was a trip to Clonmel for the royal twins' first birthday.

He'd been about five or six and had been desperately bored with the whole banquet. There were too many adults talking, his tunic was itchy, and one of the princes had thrown up at his feet when Oswald and Duncan approached.

The only highlight was the princes' older sister, Caitlyn was her name Duncan recalled, who, despite her small frame and quiet nature, had dragged him into a hall where they played tag.

It had been a fun break from the banquet, fun until they ran into a rather large pedestal with a precariously perched vase on top. He wasn't quite sure who had bumped into it, but he remembers staring at it until the king of Clonmel came and yelled at them both for breaking the vase.

Duncan had started to yell back, but the princess had flinched. The noise had alerted Oswald and Duncan remembers a particularly tense staring match that had ended with him getting scooped up into his father's arms and storming off.

They left Clonmel shortly after.

For a five year old, the crown prince, who had been yelled at before but never like that, it had been a traumatizing time. The king's face had been burned into his mind forever.

Duncan heard a rustle in the darkness, not an unusual sound, but this sounded much larger than a rat. It can't be Morgarath, but Duncan tenses up anyway. He'll fight his way out, weak as he is. He just has to get back to Ros-

A man practically blurs into existence in front of him, cloaked in darkness. The face was an exact match for the king of Clonmel, a face that Duncan could never forget. Stars whirled around his head as he jerked back into the stone wall in shock. He'd finally gone crazy in isolation.

An unmistakable Hibernian brogue cut through the silence. "My name's Halt and I'm here to rescue you."

--

When morning came, it was easier to see that Duncan probably had been stewing in memories, mistaking poor Halt for the hated king of Clonmel. Halt had slightly darker skin, a thinner face that was only barely disguised by some black scruff, and his short stature was nothing compared to the towering king. (Now that Duncan thinks about it, everyone seems tall to a child.)

He still looked familiar, but he couldn't be the king. If anything, Halt looked more like Princess Caitlyn, though that had to be from sheer coincidence.

Duncan went to find Halt in the camp and found him sitting outside Crowley's tent, whittling some stick down. Halt didn't look up when Duncan stood over him, but instead grunted.

"I want to thank you for rescuing me." Halt didn't look like the type to rescue the tall knightly prince, but rangers were ways underestimated.

Now the would-be ranger did look up before shrugging. "No need to thank me."

"I owe you a debt of gratitude and you have my thanks."

Now the man looked uncomfortable. "There's no need for that. You have my loyalty and that means I'm here for good."

"You're from Hibernia. You could go back if you wanted." Duncan hoped Halt wouldn't; he could use some loyal friends. "You don't have to stay here once Morgarath is gone."

"My brother made it impossible for me to stay. I'm never going back." And that was the end of that. He had sworn fealty to Duncan, who honestly couldn't refuse the manpower even if he wasn't utterly convinced of Halt's loyalty, and that had been enough. Crowley trusted him, Pritchard too, and he had proved himself a dozen times over.

If Halt wanted to keep the past in the past, so be it. There were things meant only for hazy, half-remembered memories.

--

Over the weeks that ensued, Halt never stopped being familiar. There was always a nagging feeling in the back of Duncan's mind whenever he saw him that went "you know this man" but there was a war brewing and there was time for chasing down irrelevant threads.

Crowley, Halt, and a few other ranger's had stuck around with the royal caravan to offer some protection and coordinate forces and information.

Duncan had only just now started to receive briefings and when he saw the royal seal of Clonmel, his stomach clenched for some unfathomable reason. Perhaps it was the unpleasant memories dredged up by his first gut reaction to Halt's rescue or maybe it was a premonition.

He tore off the wax seal and shooed away Anthony from the tent. He needed to be alone for this. His feelings had been right.

It was a letter of confirmation that the crown prince of Clonmel had died and Ferris would be next in line for the throne.

The letter crumpled in Duncan's large fist, making a white bloom against the mahogany desk. He knew what this letter meant, his dreams in the tower becoming too clear. Duncan didn't know how Halt had faked his death or why, but Halt was Crown Prince Ferris Cathan O'Carrick. Halt was a dead man walking, an international disaster just waiting happen. And Duncan was going to let him get away with it.

If Clonmel came knocking, if Ferris ever came demanding his brother back, Duncan would swear to his last breath that Halt was simply a poor ranger who had been in Araluen for years. There would be no need to pay attention to a rough talking, anti-social ranger who faked his death to escape the throne and his brother.

Not all castle lives were as happy as his, Duncan knew that. And he suspected the king of Clonmel hadn't gotten quieter with age.

Halt would never know. It was the least Duncan could do for him. He'd feign ignorance (something he could do well) and hopefully this issue would never come up. The familiar face of a prince would turn into the weathered face of a ranger and no one would know any better.

He called Anthony back in. "Send a consolation gift to Lady Caitlyn and Prince Ferris for the loss of their brother. And burn this letter in the fire."

Anthony gave a quick nod and scurried off, leaving Duncan alone with his thoughts. The king of Clonmel, thought Duncan, becoming a ranger. It was a legend in the making.

I saw this one post that reminded me of a head-canon I had awhile back...so yeah

Duncan, who was around like, 5 years old at the time, met wee baby Halt.

Thank you for your time.

[vam9ire]

Falling For You 2/2

Nygmobblepot Week 2017 Fics  - Day 2 - AU ( Roller Skating/High School )

Summary: Edward doesn’t know how to skate, and Oswald offers to teach him how.

Rating: G

Words: 8,822

A/N: Sorry I’m uploading this so late after the week ended, but this got way longer than I had planned. The ending is a little bit abrupt, mostly because I was just trying to get at a decent stopping point, but I hope you enjoy it!

The roller derby match had lasted for just over an hour, and from how enthusiastically the crowd had cheered as they watched, it had proven to be a pretty intense one. Oswald managed to catch a few minutes of the match every once in a while, in between helping Victor take care of all of the food orders and then actually serving the orders, but he couldn’t really watch for long enough to fully grasp how well the game was going, or whether or not it was leaning in The Sirens’ favor. He also hadn’t been able to see Edward anywhere as he worked around the food counter, leading him to presume that Edward was among the people crowding right beside the rink in order to watch the match from up close.

Once the match had officially ended, people slowly began to get up and leave in small groups, after the derby girls had all left the rink, and Oswald quickly began to wipe down all of the tables and booths around the food counter. The rink closed early every Friday night, usually right after the matches, so that everything could be cleaned and taken care of before the early opening on Saturday, and Oswald was almost always one of the two people who closed the rink. As more people began to leave and the food area completely cleared out, Victor shut down all of the appliances and began cleaning everything that needed it, though still not very enthusiastically, so that he could go home as quickly as possible. Oswald was busy, nearly done with wiping down all of the tables, when he heard Edward call his name, immediately pulling his attention away from his task.

“Oswald!” Edward had been walking back from the skating rink with Barbara, Tabitha, and Butch, and he increased his pace and walked ahead of them so that he could hurry over to Oswald. A grin immediately rose to his features as he approached the other boy, and he continued to speak as soon as he came to a stop beside him. His tone clearly expressed his apparent good mood, though he seemed almost bashful as he spoke, one hand moving up so he could run his fingers absent-mindedly through his hair. “How has your shift been? I’m glad that it hasn’t ended yet, I was really hoping to see you again after the match.”

“Really? I was hoping to be able to talk again, too,” Oswald grinned sincerely as he began to reply, his tone bubbling with excitement, “My shift has been busy, but ultimately fine. I have to close tonight, so hopefully things will continue to go smoothly.” As Oswald continued to talk, Edward listened and he seemed like he was just about to say something important in response, but before he could, Barbara arrived beside Edward in order to butt into their conversation again, not hesitating to reach up and wrap her arm around the taller boy’s shoulders in form of a friendly greeting.

“What are you two over here chatting about—How great that match was?” Barbara’s tone was light and she grinned contently as she spoke, her bright eyes widening slightly as she boastfully answered her own question for them, “Oh, I know, right? That was awesome, we slaughtered the other team. What do you say, Tabby?” She batted her eyelashes animatedly a few times as she lolled her head to the side so she could look over to Tabitha, who was standing a foot away beside Butch, who had apparently been suckered into carrying both of their bags for them.

“Yeah, we were pretty killer, Babs. You were right about the formation pattern, their jammer had no idea how to get through us.” Tabitha crossed her arms and shifted her weight onto one leg as she replied, a sly smile coming to her lips, just barely noticeable. She tried to seem as harsh and stoic as possible around people she didn’t like, which qualified as pretty much anyone besides Barbara and Butch, though sometimes she let slight emotions show if she was in a decent mood. Beside her, Butch nodded his head in a very loose show of support for the two girls, though he still seemed like he’d rather be somewhere else at the moment.

“Well, congratulations on your evidently well-deserved win. I presume that you’re the team leader then, Barbara?” Oswald continued to smile, though not quite as sincerely as he had been when he was just talking with Edward, while he politely continued the conversation. He wasn’t particularly interested in learning about her place on the team, but he figured it would be nice to ask about it anyways. From what Oswald had learned about Barbara from their limited interactions, whether at the skating rink or at school, it was pretty clear that she liked being in charge of things, so he thought it was a safe assumption.

“Ah—Technically, yes. She’s the team pivot, so she strategizes, but she could also be a jammer. Tabitha is the other jammer, who could also technically be the pivot, so that kind of means—” Edward was quick to begin answering Oswald’s question, prefacing his explanation with a short noise of enthusiasm. He had seemingly become fairly knowledgeable about roller derby, after watching so many games, and probably so that he could indulge Barbara in her own passion for the sport. Barbara and Oswald turned their eyes back to the taller boy as he spoke, though he was cut off before he could get too far into his explanation.

“It’s a team sport, but Barbara and I are both leaders.” Tabitha’s tone was louder than it had been, and it held a stern edge in order to get Edward to stop talking, not wanting to sit there waiting for Edward to finish giving his long-winded informational dump. Edward’s expression fell slightly and he shot Tabitha an almost unreadable glare, though he did remain quiet after she had finished talking. Barbara sent a brief look towards Tabitha as well, though it was more of a neutral glance than anything, before she turned her head back towards Edward with a smile.

“Yes, and as leader, I say we’re going out to celebrate! You know, you’re welcome to join us, Ozzy, we won’t bite.” Her tone was filled with elation as she made her announcement to the two boys, contrasting dramatically with how mildly threatening Tabitha was. As she mentioned Oswald, she quickly stepped closer to him, dragging Edward over with her, so that she could firmly wrap her arm around his neck as well. Barbara was practically hanging from the both of the boys now, and she affectionately squeezed them for a few seconds as she waited for a response.

“Oh, let me assure you that I’d just love to go,” Oswald’s tone remained polite, though with a sense of false sadness as he continued, “But, unfortunately, I’ll have to refuse. I’m closing the rink tonight, so I’ll be here cleaning for a while longer.” He subtly tried to pull out of Barbara’s hold on him for a moment, and after a few more seconds of squeezing him, she relented her grip and he stumbled away from her. She was a little bit too hands-on for his taste, and sometimes he was pretty sure that she knew this, and that she did it just to tease him.

“Aw, what a shame. One of Butch’s football friends is throwing a party at his house, so I’d say you aren’t missing out on anything too exciting. Though, I think I did hear there’s gonna be alcohol.” Barbara began her reply with a melodramatic sigh of disappointment, though her jovial grin remained across her features while she continued to talk. From the way she spoke of the party, it was clear that she wasn’t actually that thrilled to go hang out at the party either, but she was known for being good with people, so she would no doubt make it seem like she enjoyed it. She was quiet for a second as she thought to herself, before her eyes moved up to Edward again and she patted him on the chest before addressing him, “That being said, we should probably get going, Nygma.”

“Actually, Barbara,” Edward had also managed to slip out from under Barbara’s arm and he laughed briefly as he moved to stand closer to Oswald, “I was going to stay here with Oswald and help him close the rink.” He swayed slightly on his feet as he informed Barbara of his plan, gesturing loosely with his hands. After he finished his explanation, he turned on his heel so he could look at Oswald again, and quietly add, “If that’s alright with you, Oswald.”

“Of course, I would love for you to stay!” Oswald was quick to respond, and he realized after he finished talking, that he may have sounded just a little bit too eager, though Edward just smiled and turned back to look at Barbara again. He hadn’t been expecting Edward to stay for long after the match, let alone want to stay with him while he closed the rink, but he definitely wasn’t opposed to the idea. Oswald was actually immediately excited to get to have time to actually talk with Edward, and without Barbara around to cut into every conversation they had.

“Really? Well, okay, suit yourself, Eddie.” Barbara gave them both a slightly suspicious look, with her lips pursed and her brow raised, before she shrugged her shoulders and her expression fell to a much more pleasant one. As she finished speaking, she put her hands on her hips, jutting one hip out as she shifted her weight onto one leg. After a moment, her smile pulled into a mischievous smirk and she quickly added, in an obviously teasing tone, “You two lovebirds have fun, alright?”

Not waiting for a reaction from either of the boys, Barbara promptly turned around and began walking towards the exit, waving lazily at them with one hand from over her shoulder. Butch grinned at them and waved politely goodbye, though he was obviously trying to stifle his growing desire to laugh, before Tabitha, who was smirking subtly, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away with her so they could follow Barbara. Oswald had felt his face heat up with flush almost instantaneously after Barbara’s parting words, and when he turned to look at Edward, the decently bright lighting of the food area allowed him to see that the boy’s cheeks were also slightly reddened.

“Did she say love—” Oswald remained silent for a few more seconds, just looking up at Edward while he kept his eyes towards the exit, before he finally attempted to break the silence. He hadn’t exactly intended to bring up the teasing comment at first, but when he opened his mouth he couldn’t think of anything else to say. Edward’s eyes widened slightly when he turned his head to the side so he could look at Oswald’s face, as if he had been lost in thought for a moment, and he quickly interrupted him.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s just trying to tease us. You know, friendly joking and all.” Edward’s tone was rushed when he began, though he ended his sentence by clearing his throat and laughing awkwardly. As he quieted down again, he clasped his hands together loosely in front of himself, wringing them together briefly as he thought for another few seconds, before he spoke again, trying to change the subject, “Anyways, thank you for letting me stay. House parties aren’t really my thing. What all do you have to do tonight?”

Oswald smiled softly at Edward as he watched him speak while trying to seem unaffected by Barbara’s teasing, and he laughed with Edward, trying to reassure him without actually saying anything about it. When Edward tried to not-so-subtly change the subject, Oswald was more than willing to go along with it, not wanting to make the situation any more awkward than it had already become. “Well, I’ve got to clean off any counters or ledges, pick up any trash around the building, and then lock up everything. It shouldn’t be that bad, you don’t have to help me if you don’t want to, Ed.”

Edward smiled genuinely back at him as he explained everything to him, and he was just about to respond, when the two heard the sound of someone coming up from behind them. Without really thinking about it, both boys turned around together, only to see that the person hurrying over towards them was Ivy. Her skates were off already, and she had her bag thrown casually over one of her shoulders as she walked, her red hair bouncing slightly with each step. She grinned at them as she continued to approach, and her pace increased until she could come to a stop right in front of them.

“Hey, Ozzy! And you must be Ed Nygma?” Ivy greeted them quickly, and she perked up slightly after she turned her attention entirely onto Edward. As she swiftly looked him up and down, she held her right hand out, and after a second of hesitation, Ed politely shook it. She smiled wider, and her tone expressed her excitement as she began to speak again without thinking about her words. “It’s really great to finally meet you, Oswald talks about you all the time! He said you were, but I still didn’t expect you to be so handsome—”

“Ivy, please!” Oswald’s tone was loud and rushed as he tried to get Ivy to stop talking as quickly as he could, before she could say anything too embarrassing in front of Edward. She had already said way more than Oswald would have ever preferred, but if he knew Ivy, he knew that she could have definitely taken things even further. Ivy had the tendency to talk without properly considering the pros and cons of everything she said, though she didn’t always mean to do it, and right now she was giving him an apologetic look. He was still mildly annoyed, but he just tried to avoid directly addressing the problem and he instead sighed before asking, “What do you want?”

“Oh, right, sorry! I just wanted to come see if you were alright with closing by yourself tonight. I’ve got something I really should take care of tonight, but I think I can stay if you need me to.” Ivy shifted on her feet so that she was facing slightly more towards Oswald, and she gestured with both of her hands by her sides as she took a moment to explain herself. She smiled as she spoke, an expression that was very familiar to Oswald by now after working with her for a while.

“What? Where did Victor go?” Oswald’s tone was more confused than it was upset, and he intentionally tried to keep it that way as he asked for more clarification. He felt as though he had just seen Victor a little bit ago, and as he waited for Ivy to respond, he looked around the food area from where he was standing, just to confirm that the other boy wasn’t there anymore. He was so quiet most of the time that he could just slip in and out of the building without anyone noticing, if he wanted to, and he used this to his advantage far too often whenever he wanted to go on break. It was annoying, but Victor was also really great at working the food counter, so no one could really complain too much about it.

“Hm… He left a few minutes ago, I think he mentioned something about a date with Nora tonight. So, does that mean you want me to stay?” One of Ivy’s hands came up to her face so she could gently tap her index finger on her chin while she thought, before she let it fall back down to her side when she answered Oswald’s questions. After she had asked her own follow-up question, she swayed gently on her feet while she waited patiently for Oswald’s reply.

Oswald chewed at the inside of his lower lip for a few seconds as he stared at Ivy and thought over everything she had said. Though she was a considerably leisurely worker, Ivy worked a lot and she had a shift nearly every day, with her hours nearly adding up enough to rival Oswald’s own. The last time she had taken a day off or left early this year was when she had caught the stomach flu, and with Edward around to keep him company, Oswald ultimately decided that he wouldn’t be too troubled if he had to close up on his own. “No, it’s fine, you can go. I just wish anyone would give me some sort of notice before they were already right about to leave.”

“Thanks a bunch, Oz! I promise, from now on, I'll try to tell you in advance whenever I have to leave. I’ll owe you!” Ivy bounced a couple of times on the heels of her feet as she thanked Oswald, and her smile widened to go along with her overall jovial expression. At this point, Ivy owed Oswald a number of favors for times he had covered for her or complied to her requests, and he fully intended on using these owed favors if the need ever arose, but he didn’t foresee ever needing that much help from her any time soon, and he was fine with that. She readjusted the position of her bag’s strap over her shoulder for a moment, before she waved at them with her free hand, and as she began to walk towards the exit she called back “Bye, Edward! Bye, Oswald!”

“She seems charming.” Edward was grinning in amusement when Oswald looked back up at him again, and his smile only widened smugly when he faced Oswald fully once again and he continued, his tone only slightly toying, “So, would you like my help now?”

“You know, I think I would very much appreciate your help now, Ed.” The corner’s of Oswald’s lips twitched into a slight smile as he considered Edward’s light-heartedly teasing question, and he nodded his head curtly as he laughed. Oswald laughed again as he finished responding, and his grin grew as he absent-mindedly raised one of his hands up to loosely run his fingers through his hair. He wasn’t actually expecting Edward to help him clean the skating rink or anything, and he would just be happy talking to him for a while, and from the way Edward was smiling back at him, Edward felt similarly.

…

After about an hour, the two boys had managed to clean off any surfaces in the food or arcade area that needed to be cleaned, and they had picked up any garbage or forgotten items that had been left behind in those areas as well. Oswald did most of the work, not wanting to make Edward feel obliged to help him since he had stayed behind with him, though Ed continued to insist that it wasn’t any trouble and he helped with whatever he could. Today was actually a fairly easy day for closing up, and there was hardly anything that actually needed to be taken care of. The two boys left the arcade area, after Oswald flipped off the power for all of the machines, and headed over towards the direction of the skating rink itself.

“Now we’ve got to go check and make sure that all of the skates in the rental room are in the correct places. Did you return your skates earlier?” As they moved towards the direction of the skate rental room, which was completely on the other side of the rink from the arcade, Oswald skated at a pace that was slow enough for Edward to keep up with as he walked alongside him. When he asked the question, Oswald’s tone held a genuine curiosity, his eyes moving down to momentarily look at Edward’s shoes. It was strange, but he wasn’t entirely sure he’d ever seen Ed in skates. “Or, do you bring your own skates?”

Oswald’s gaze drifted back up to focus on Edward’s face as he finished talking, and he saw that the other boy suddenly seemed nervous. Edward was staring down towards the floor, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he idly studied the neon, space themed pattern on the building’s carpeting. After a few moments of silence, Edward finally looked back up towards Oswald and he caught his eyes before replying, tone just slightly hesitant, “Well… I don’t know how to roller skate.”

“What? You come to the skating rink every week, but you don’t know how to skate?” Oswald stopped moving forwards as he listened to Edward’s claim, and a smile came to his face as he laughed, good-naturedly, before he responded in a mildly amused tone. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary to hear that someone didn’t know how to skate, but Oswald hadn’t really heard of anyone who regularly came to a skating rink without at least trying to learn how to skate.

“Yeah, I guess now that I’ve said it out loud, it does sound kind of questionable.” Edward stopped walking when Oswald did, and when he replied in an amiable tone, a soft grin arose to his own lips. As he waited for Oswald to speak again, he briefly raised one of his hands up so he could sweep his hair away from his forehead, though a few strands immediately fell right back to where they had been as he let his hand fall back down to his side. It didn’t seem to bother him because he didn’t try to fix it again, and Oswald was glad, because he thought it looked charming.

A few long moments of silence stretched between the two boys, with Oswald caught up in his own thoughts, before he realized that he had been staring right at Edward, who was looking right back at him with a slightly perplexed expression. Oswald felt warmth rise to his cheeks and he cleared his throat, trying not to seem too unfocused as he came up with a half-decent reply, “So, every Friday, you come just to watch the derby matches?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Barbara tried to get me to start coming a lot earlier in the season, but I always turned her down.” Edward’s grin widened after he stopped speaking, and after a second longer of apprehension, he continued in a mildly diffident tone, though his expression portrayed that he was obviously amused with himself, “I don’t know which is sillier; that I wouldn’t come to watch my friend’s matches, just because I couldn’t skate, or that I don’t know how to skate, but I keep coming back here every week anyways.”

“Ed, they’re both pretty ridiculous. Why haven’t you ever learned?” Oswald was more attentive about replying quickly this time, and his tone was joking as he teased the other boy. Edward briefly laughed at the response, though after he thought for a few seconds, his expression fell and he frowned for the first time that night. Oswald immediately felt anxious, worried that he had said or done something wrong, and his tone was full of his concern as he asked, “Edward? What’s wrong?”

“It’s… No, it’ll sound stupid. You’ll laugh.” Edward sighed quietly as he replied, and he couldn’t help but to laugh again as he considered what he had been about to say, and a smile returned to his face as he added reassuringly, “Sorry, Oswald, nothing’s wrong.” Oswald instantly felt a wave of relief wash over him with Edward’s change in expression, glad that he wasn’t upset with him, though he knew that there was obviously something bothering Edward.

“Oh, Ed,” His relief was clear in his voice as he paused, before he continued sincerely, “I swear to you, whatever it is, that I won’t laugh.” He couldn’t imagine what made Edward so adverse to learning to skate, considering was usually pretty interested in learning about, or figuring out how to do, anything he could. The fact that he had researched roller derby positions and terms just further proved that he had some interest in skating, so Oswald’s curiosity over what Edward was going to say was peaked.

Edward’s smile widened slightly as Oswald kindly reassured him, but he averted his gaze down towards the floor again as he silently thought to himself for a few seconds. He brought his hands together in front of himself so that he could idly twiddle his thumbs, before he eventually cleared his throat and spoke up again, deciding to just get on with it. “I’ve been scared that if I try to learn how to skate, I won’t be any good at it, and that I’d just fall and embarrass myself in front of a bunch of people.”

“Well... What about now? I could teach you how to skate.” Oswald’s reply came almost instantly after he processed what Edward had said, and though he hadn’t thought his words over for very long, he was very sincere about it. Edward’s eyes widened slightly in surprise behind the lenses of his glasses, and he ultimately looked unsure about the offer, so after a few moments, Oswald continued. “There’s no one here but me, and I promise I won’t laugh at you if you do fall. I really don’t think you will, though.”

“Oswald, you really want to try to teach me how to skate?” Edward’s tone was almost incredulous as he asked the question, and his expression matched it fairly consistently. When Oswald nodded his head enthusiastically, confirming that he really did want to help him skate, Edward’s expression lifted and his smile returned to his face. There were a few more seconds of silence between them as Edward thought over the offer again, but he sounded considerably more confident with the situation when he gave his answer. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”

“Really? Great! Then let’s go make sure the rental room is organized correctly, and get you a pair of skates to wear.” Oswald’s tone expressed how excited he was that Edward had accepted his on the spot offer. He hadn’t really been sure whether or not the other boy was going to agree to it, with how apprehensive he seemed to be about it, so he was happily surprised. Edward nodded curtly in agreement to his suggestion, and Oswald began to lead the way towards the rental room again.

…

The rental room was just a small, unimpressive room positioned snugly behind a glass counter that was very similar to the prize counter, though this one displayed various different skates, laces, or wheels you could buy. Inside, the skate rental room was filled with rows of sturdy metal shelves, all filled completely with pairs of roller skates and each with a marker indicating what size of skate went on which shelf. The lighting was also much harsher than it was around the rest of the building, with bright white LED light fixtures in the ceiling overhead, successfully illuminating each row of shelves in order to assist in easily identifying the different size markers.

Because of this bright lighting, being in the room for too long usually made Oswald’s head start to hurt, so he was thankful that they were able to finish organizing misplaced skates fairly quickly. When every shelf was filled up and all of the skates were in the correct order, all that they needed to do was locate a pair that would fit Edward, which only took a couple of minutes, including the limited time that it took for Ed to tightly lace them up. Once the skates were on his feet, and after struggling for a few moments, he managed to successfully stand up in them without falling over.

“Do they fit alright?” Oswald stood up with relative ease as he asked the question, having been crouched down beside Edward as he waited for him to tie his skates. He had been working at the rink for around two years, and by now, maneuvering himself around while wearing skates wasn’t any more difficult than it was with normal shoes on. He closely watched Ed, as the taller boy wobbled unsteadily on the roller skates, and after a particularly precarious stumble backwards, he held his arm out for Edward to hold onto for support.

“Yeah, I think so.” Edward only sounded slightly unsure about his answer, and he took a few steps in place, just to make sure that they did fit alright. He still didn’t seem that enthusiastic about skating, but he was also clearly determined to attempt it. Just standing up had been a struggle, and with the way he quivered made it seem like he could be toppled over by moderately stiff a breeze, so when Oswald held out his arm for him, Edward gratefully took it. “Thanks, Oswald.”

Oswald smiled at him as Edward immediately held onto his arm for stability, placing one hand around his wrist and the other higher up towards his elbow. His grip was firm, so that he wouldn’t let go by accident, though not tight enough to be uncomfortable in anyway. After Edward took a few more seconds to test his weight on the skates, and he seemed fairly stable on his own, Oswald eventually decided to ask, “Do you think you’re ready to try skating on the rink?”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” Edward returned the smile, and he sighed briefly before he responded to the question. His cheerful tone and his content expression lead Oswald to believe that he was partially joking with him, though he could still tell that Edward was nervous as Oswald began to lead him over towards the skating rink. The carpet gave their skates enough traction that they could pretty easily move across it, without Edward feeling too unsteady, but the rink itself was completely smooth. Once they came to one of the three breaks in the short, painted brick wall that went around the side of the rink, which served as exits or entrances onto the floor, Oswald stopped them before they could actually step out onto the rink.

“Alright, stay here for a minute. Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.” Edward let go of his arm as Oswald said this, and he gave him a confused look, but he didn’t question him when Oswald began to skate away. He headed straight towards the DJ booth near the corner of the rink, picking up enough speed so that he could make it there within only a few seconds.

The DJ booth itself was just a very small space at the corner of the rink, closest to the food area, created by four half-walls which came up to just under Oswald’s chest when he was standing. covered in black velvet wallpaper. One of the walls had a gap in it that served as the door, and inside the small room there was a worn-out desk chair, a computer, a microphone system, and a volume mixer sitting on a metal desk. Oswald slipped through the gap in the wall so he could sit down on the edge of the chair, causing it to squeak slightly. He immediately reached for the computer and put one hand on the mouse so he could briefly move it around in circles to wake the computer up. Before he did anything else, he looked up and through the rectangular hole in the wall in front of him, which allowed whoever was working the DJ booth to watch the rink and make sure no one was breaking any rules, so he could see what Edward was doing.

Edward was still standing where Oswald had left him, leaning against the wall around the rink for stability now that Oswald wasn’t standing with him. He had been casually looking around, but when he saw Oswald looking at him, he smiled and quickly raised one of his hands to wave. Oswald waved back enthusiastically, and he quietly laughed to himself before he moved his gaze back to the computer screen. The program the skating rink used to play music was already pulled up, so he was able to easily find what he was looking for, and after a few seconds, he chose a playlist comprised of mainly 80s love songs. Besides most of the songs being fun to skate to, Oswald was also sort of trying to subtly flirt with Edward by choosing the playlist. As soon as the first song began to play out of the speakers around the rink, Oswald stood back up from the chair and he left the booth so he could hurriedly skate back over to Edward.

“There, now that we have music. You get to experience the whole package of skating, but without all of the people around.” The grin that Oswald had been wearing as he approached Edward widened as he explained his actions, laughing lightly for a moment. Before Edward could immediately respond to the statement, Oswald cleared his throat and held out his arm towards him, before asking enthusiastically, “Shall we?”

“My, my—what a gentleman you are, Oswald Cobblepot.” Edward’s tone was purposely flirty, and he returned the grin as he watched Oswald for a few more seconds, before he reached his hand out so that he could hold Oswald’s arm, up towards his elbow. Edward didn’t seem quite as nervous anymore, and he actually seemed sort of eager to attempt actually skating on the rink.

“Of course, Mr. Nygma.” Oswald replied quickly, feigning a fanciful tone. He was the first to step out onto the skating floor, easily able to stand still without any instability, before he gestured for the other boy to join him. There was a short step down to get onto the rink, and Edward wobbled slightly as he moved one foot down and his skate slid forwards a little bit, his grip on Oswald’s arm tightening while he tried to remain as steady as he could. Oswald’s other hand moved out to grab Edward by the shoulder as he stepped fully onto the smooth skating floor, just firm enough to make sure he was supported. “Careful, watch your step, Ed.”

“Sorry, thank you. This isn’t that bad, for some reason I was expecting it to be way more slippery.” Edward let out a shaky breath that he had apparently been holding for a few seconds, as Oswald slowly began to move forwards, pulling Edward along with him. Edward kept his eyes downwards, focused on their skates so that he could both avoid accidentally running his skates into Oswald’s, and so that he could try to mirror any movements that the other boy made.

Their pace was slow and calm, with Oswald leading it all and Edward dutifully following Oswald’s actions while they gradually made their way around the skating rink. Since Edward was pretty much exclusively looking down towards the floor, Oswald took the opportunity to look at the other boy. With all of the various rotating, multicolored lights fixed around the ceiling of the rink, it set a completely different atmosphere than the food area or the arcade. Oswald was immediately captivated by how charming Edward looked, as the rainbow of patterned lights above passed over them and reflected against the lenses of his glasses. In addition to the lights, there were blacklights on the ceiling that made Edward partially glow fantastically as they passed beneath them. After a few more moments, and after they had almost done two full laps around the rink, Edward’s gaze moved up to meet with Oswald’s again, and he gave him a curious, though amused, look.

Oswald felt his cheeks immediately heat up as Edward caught him staring right at him, and he averted his eyes towards the floor for a moment as he tried to come up with something to say or do, without seeming too embarrassed. After a few seconds, he eventually held his left hand over towards Edward, the purple glow stick bracelet that Ed had given him earlier shifting forwards slightly on his wrist with the action, “Here, take my hand.”

Edward smiled softly as he rose one eyebrow skeptically, though he didn’t hesitate to comply to Oswald’s request. He reached his right hand over to firmly take Oswald’s, his own green glow stick bracelet still around his wrist, before he let go of Oswald’s arm. Oswald smiled back at him when he took his hand, and he skated forwards enough until he could skate backwards in front of Edward, with enough room between them so that they wouldn’t accidentally run into each other with their wheels. Edward laughed briefly as he watched Oswald skate backwards, with just as much ease as he had when he was facing forwards, before he commented playfully, “Gosh, you can skate backwards, too? I really been missing out on skating.”

“Yeah, I guess I know a few tricks, but we’ll just focus on making sure you can skate forwards without falling first.” Oswald laughed at the other boy’s joke for a moment, before he replied with his own mildly flirty tease. Now that he was directly facing Edward, Oswald felt like he could more easily stare at Ed without feeling embarrassed about it. Though, looking at him and seeing how Edward smiled so fondly at him, and with how tightly, yet comfortably, they were holding each other’s hand, didn’t do anything to help make Oswald feel any less nervous.

“That’s probably for the best.” Edward agreed with his suggestion easily, his tone casual as he quietly laughed along with Oswald. After a few seconds, a comfortable silence fell over the two of them as they continued to skate around the rink at a leisurely pace. The playlist of music had gone through a few songs now, and the music was loud enough that they could only hear the sound of their skates rolling over the floor whenever a song ended and there were a few seconds of silence throughout the building. Edward’s gaze mostly stayed focused down on his skates, making sure that he was moving his feet correctly, while Oswald lead him forwards, watching him contently. After another couple of songs had played and they had successfully done a few more laps around the rink, Edward looked back up and caught Oswald’s eyes, with a daring grin on his face as he spoke. “I think I should try staying balanced on my own.”

“Alright, if you’re ready. I think you can do it, Ed.” Oswald thought about Edward’s words for a moment, before he finally agreed supportively. Edward hadn’t really stumbled since they had began skating, and he seemed fairly confident with his abilities at the moment, so Oswald felt like he was definitely making progress. After a few more seconds of skating with their hands held together, Oswald loosened his grip enough for Edward to let go.

As soon as he completely let go of Oswald’s hand, Edward wobbled on his skates. The sudden change in stability, now that Oswald wasn’t actively pulling him forwards, seemingly caught the other boy off guard, and both of his arms flew out at his sides so that he could try to correct his balance. At this point, he was just rolling forwards from the momentum that he already had, and it helped him keep his balance. However, once he tried to move forwards on his own, things quickly began to go down hill, and he stumbled forwards, before he tried to correct himself by angling himself backwards. Unfortunately, Edward went too far backwards, and he completely lost his balance. “Oh, dear—” Edward exclaimed, mostly to himself, as his arms flailed at his sides, until he fell back onto his butt, “Ow.”

Oswald had tried to reach forwards in order to grab Edward when he had began to fall back, but he was too far away, and Oswald instead hastily skated over to him, dropping down to his knees and sliding the last few inches, until he was sitting right beside the other boy. Without really thinking about it, he reached his hand out to rest on Edward’s shoulder as he asked, tone clear with worry, “Ed, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think fine. Are you?” Edward’s tone was momentarily strained as he got over the initial ache of falling, and he had thankfully been able to partially break his fall with his hands, so he would only be a little bit sore for a while, and it was made apparent that he was more concerned for Oswald’s well-being by the inflection in his voice. As he spoke, he moved his hand out so he could gently touch Oswald’s leg, right above the knee, “Did you hurt your knees?”

The tender touch managed to momentarily catch Oswald off-guard, his eyes immediately looking down at Edward’s hand for a few seconds as he tried to stay focused, and come up with his response. Eventually, he looked back up at the other boy’s face again before he responded, “No, I’ll be alright. Would you like me to help you up?”

“Hm… No, let’s sit here for a while. We can take a break and talk.” Edward thought about the offer for a few seconds, before he refused the offer and proposed his own. Oswald curtly nodded his head in a silent reply, and he hesitantly removed his hand from the other boy’s shoulder before he shifted in place, so that he was sitting more comfortably on the ground, with his legs outstretched in front of him. Edward followed his actions and took a moment to get more comfortable, crossing his legs and letting his hands rest in between them, his legs’ positioning sort of awkward because of the bulky, unfamiliar roller skates he was wearing.

“I’m sorry I let you fall down.” Oswald took the opportunity to talk again before Edward could say anything else, eager to get his brief apology out. He knew that it was sort of trivial, and that Edward probably hadn’t been expecting him to keep it, but Oswald had still claimed that he would not let him fall in the first place. While he waited for Ed’s response, he moved his hands back so that he could lean back slightly and look up towards the light fixtures above them. They were sitting almost right under the disco ball, and he idly watched the mirrors reflect all of the different colors.

“You don’t have to apologize, I just got cocky. Besides, you fell too, Oswald.” Edward was quick to reply, smiling softly as he spoke, his tone growing slightly lighter towards the end of his statement. He was quiet for a few seconds, looking over at Oswald and presumably thinking, before he added, in a genuine tone of voice, “Thank you, again, for trying to teach me how to skate.”

“Of course, thank you for choosing to stay here and keep me company while I closed.” Oswald replied sincerely, returning the thank-you in a happy tone. Tonight had been one of the most exciting nights Oswald had ever experienced while working at the skating rink, and he had really enjoyed spending the night with Edward. “I really like you, Ed,” He had said it without truly considering his words, and as he suddenly realized what he’d said, he looked away from the ceiling and right at Edward as he sat up straighter so he could try to correct himself, stuttering, “Wait, I mean—I really like hanging out with you.”

Oswald felt immediately embarrassed about saying that, his face already feeling hot and his hands clammy as he tried to gauge Edward’s reaction to the slip up. He had been too focused on the lights above them, and the words had left his mouth before he could even process what he was saying. He expected a number of reactions from the other boy—Anger, confusion, disgust, any sort of response that would lead to rejection and awkward heartbreak—But after a few seconds of silence, the blank, slightly shocked expression on Edward’s face quickly disappeared as his lips pulled into a grin, before he slowly replied, “I cannot be bought, but I can be stolen with one glance. I'm worthless to one but priceless to two.”

Another few, short moments of silence fell between them as Oswald stared at Edward, his brows pulled together and his mouth slightly agape as he tried to process what he had said. It definitely hadn’t been anything Oswald was anticipating, and he stammered for a second, before he swallowed and asked, “Is that a riddle? I don’t think this is a very good time—”  

“I really like you too, Oswald.” Edward quickly interrupted Oswald so that he could reword his response to the other boy’s accidental confession in a more obvious way. His smile remained as he spoke, and the happiness expressed itself in his voice with how upbeat his tone was, though there was an edge of nervousness that seemed to hang onto each word.

“You—What?” Oswald quickly asked the question, surprise clear in his wide-eyed expression, before he fell silent again, made momentarily speechless by Edward’s claim. When he finally managed to speak up again, his voice was unintentionally quiet, and his sentence trailed off vaguely towards the end as he avoided explicitly stating his inquiry, “You mean like…?”

“Yes, I mean like… I really like you, Oswald.” Edward paused as he positively confirmed Oswald’s intended question, and laughed nervously. He rocked slightly from side-to-side for a few seconds, his eyes averted down towards his lap, as he thought about what to say next, until he looked back up at the other boy, who had been waiting silently for more clarification, and he continued, “While it’s true, I did start coming here because I wanted to support Barbara’s interests, the main reason that I continued to come after the first match, was so I could see you again.”

“Really? Not that I’m complaining, but why did you wait to tell me this until now?” Oswald listened closely to everything Edward said, still sort of getting over his initial shock that Edward returned his feelings for him. It was so surreal that he had fallen for someone so hard, and it was even more unexpected that his interest actually liked him back. It was very rare that Oswald had ever developed a crush on anyone, and none of them had ever been as present and lasting as Edward.

“Well, I was still trying to figure out what my feelings meant… And, I thought that this is sort of a romantic setting.” Edward seemed sort of sheepish as he further explained his decisions, and as he spoke he moved his hands out of his lap so that he could idly play with the laces of his skates. As he finished his statement, he momentarily raised one hand in order to gesture at all of the pretty lights around them, and probably referring to the love songs playing from the speakers. He didn’t leave a very long pause in his words before he continued to talk, sort of rambling at this point, “After I talked to Barbara about it, and she told me that you liked me back—”

“Barbara told you that I liked you? How did she find out?” Oswald didn’t even hesitate to interrupt Edward immediately as he revealed the information. His expression and tone of voice made his shock clear as it returned to him, though this time it held a more defensive edge to it than one of nervousness. He had no idea how Barbara would have gained a confident confirmation that Oswald liked Ed, considering he had resisted telling anyone, even Ivy, about the crush.

“Oh, whoops. I didn’t really mean to mention that.” Edward smirked as he responded to Oswald’s questions, laughing lightly to himself. His tone and expression gave the impression that Edward was more amused that he had accidentally divulged the information than he was regretful of it, and Oswald instantly found the attitude endearing. “No one told her or anything, she just sort of figured it out, I guess. That’s how she found out I liked you in the first place—She just figured it out because of how I talked about you.”

Once Edward had finished explaining for Barbara, another quiet fell over the two boys, and the music filled up the air around them. Barbara was definitely a smart girl, and that was made obvious in most of her actions and every time she engaged in conversations, though Oswald hadn’t expected her to so easily pick up on his feelings for Edward. Still, he wasn’t upset with her, considering everything had seemingly turned out alright, and he decided that there wasn’t anything more that needed to be said concerning her. After a few more seconds of quiet, and Oswald idly looking at Edward while listening to one of the poppy 80s songs playing, he spoke up again to break the silence and voice a few of the nagging thoughts that were hanging in the forefront of his mind, “Alright… Well, what now? What are we now, what do we do if we aren’t ‘just friends’ anymore?”

“I don’t know.” Edward replied quickly, and his tone portrayed that he was actually entertained by his own lack of an idea for what to do now. He was very rarely at a loss when it came to plans or answers, always managing to come up with some sort of response, but for once he had nothing insightful to suggest. Eventually, he grinned at Oswald and continued, his voice soft, “I guess we just do whatever we want.”

“Do you think you can figure out what I really want to do right now, Ed?” Oswald felt slightly more daring as he playfully flirted with Edward, his tone soft and mildly suggestive. While he asked the question, he shifted his sitting position so that he was slightly closer to the other boy, looking up at him as he waited for a reaction. Now that he wasn’t in complete shock that Edward liked him back anymore, and he could actually calmly think about the situation, he felt a lot more comfortable with being more bold with his statements.

“Is that supposed to be a riddle, Oswald?” Edward’s tone was also sort of hushed, and there was clear amusement in his voice as he responded, and his smile remained on his lips, though it was more of a smirk now. It was clear that Edward had caught onto what Oswald had been implying with his vague suggestion, because after a few seconds, Edward had shifted closer to Oswald enough so that their legs were touching, and he slowly leaned into the other boy. Without much hesitation, Oswald moved his hand out so he could hold onto the sleeve of Edward’s sweater, and Edward’s hand moved up so that he could gently hold the side of Oswald’s jaw, before their lips finally met.

This was Oswald’s first romantic kiss, and while he hadn’t been expecting anything extraordinary or fantastic, it was still wonderful and it didn’t fail to make Oswald’s chest feel noticeably tighter. The kiss was soft and gentle, and mostly just a simple closed mouth peck on the lips at first, sort of as if they were just testing things out. After a moment, however, the kiss deepened, and while the pace remained slow and experimental, Oswald could feel his heartbeat quicken considerably, and he felt his face flush warmly with each passing second. Eventually, they broke the kiss and pulled away enough to look at each other, both of their faces reddened and smiling.

“If so, we’re definitely going to have to work on your riddles.” Edward’s hand slowly fell from Oswald’s face after a few brief seconds of silence, and he was the first to speak again, after licking his lips quickly, his tone playfully joking. He seemed mildly breathless after the kiss, and his voice was just slightly lighter.

As soon as Oswald had processed what Edward meant, his grin widened and he laughed at the joke, nodding his head a few times. He was still so filled with joy that Edward actually liked him back, and while he knew that all of this was reality, the kiss and light joking had definitively solidified the experience for him. He wasn’t sure what this meant for them, but the grin on Edward’s face made Oswald positive that he wanted this to be something serious for them and he smiled as he replied, “Good. That means we’ll have something more to talk about the next time we do this.”

[iv-kplpt]

well that was easy

this one’s kind of hard to explain: basically one evening i came up with an idea for a college au for (telltale) oswald and charlie and (gotham) oswald and jim gordon. my gf told me to write it, so naturally... two cobblepots are cousins. their respective family tragedies never happened. this is a self indulgent base/skeleton text - an outline of sorts that’ll be expanded with some more detailed oneshots.

High above the streets of London Widowmaker was perched on a rooftop, looking for a blind spot in enemy's defenses, for a possible path for Tracer to slip through and make her way to Sombra who was hidden behind the enemy lines, waiting for her chance to disarm them, to render them helpless and defenseless.

„Try the right path.” she finally said. „I don't think they even remember it exists. Through the window and up the stairs. Mind the gap.”

„I'm there!” Tracer announced after a short while. „And I have my bomb.”

„And we all have our stuff, so let's go.” Gordon said, yawning quietly and making his Zarya jump a few times. „Hey, where's Mercy?”

„Safe and sound.” announced Charlie, who was sitting behind Louise's Widow. „And far away.”

„Then time to get our first point.” Louise said, taking a sip of her drink. „Let's go.”

Their plan worked – once Louise activated her visor, she picked the enemy team one by one, headshot after headshot, Charlie boosting her to speed up the process, making their Mercy waste her ult. Then the true fun began; Oswald jumped out of his hideout he was sharing with Vicki – they were dance emoting in the meantime – and EMPed. Gordon did his russian thing and Vicki and Oz ulted at the same time, laughing maniacally, as the enemy team was decimated.

„Works every time.” Vicki said cheerfully, dancing on the point. „Incredible.”

„Communication is the best super power.” Oswald announced, jumping around as Charlie kept trying to heal him.

It was a late Friday afternoon and they were all free, but too tired to actually hang out, so they decided to play some matches together, instead of just yelling at each other on their discord server.

(For once Oz was glad they can't hang out in person. He really didn't feel like bearing Gordon's company that day.)

At first it was just Oz and Charlie online – everyone else was either on their phones or finishing something else, so for a good hour it was just TheWizardOfOz and CherryGum.

„So, how's your week going?” Oz asked, as he was chasing down some unfortunate Genji who had the audacity to try and flank.

„Semi-decent.” she replied, damage boosting him. „I'm probably not going to sleep tonight.”

„Insomnia?”

„No, I'm home alone and I really don't like it.”

„Oh, why didn't you say so earlier?” Oswald chimed in; Oz could hear people in the background, meaning his cousin was probably still on the campus. „You should've come over!”

Yes, Oz thought to himself, she should've.

He liked being around her, seeing her, hearing her. Every little thing she did felt like magic and he loved when she'd come over to have a movie night with his cousin; because when he'd walk into the kitchen the next morning it usually meant she was there with a cup of coffee, still warm and soft from the recent sleep, her hair a mess.

(He never said anything. In fact, he talked to her way less often than he'd like to. She was his cousin's friend first, after all – and someone he was hopelessly in love with second.)

Being in love is nice. Being in love with someone who loves someone else is not nice. Being in love with someone who loves someone else who treats them like shit is fucking awful.

That was seemingly the only thing Oz Cobblepot and Jim Gordon had in common – that and great hair. And nice jawlines.

They were both in love and both of their love interests were already monogamously taken – even though it was a Pulcinella's secret of sorts that their significant others are not doing so great in terms of being decent human beings. One could even argue they weren't good at just being human.

Everybody kinda knew and everybody kinda cared – but when confronted about it, Charlie and Oswald would only roll their eyes and assure the other person everything is fine and that gossips are rarely true.

Or: that was what Charlie would do. Oswald would chuckle nervously and change topic. He was never smooth – he was the awkward Cobblepot. Oz was the charming one.

But no matter how charming he was it wasn't enough for Charlie to really open up to him – she would laugh at his jokes and reply to his messages and send him silly things on snapchat, but she never truly opened up. Never talked about anything substantial, never really talked about what's going on in her life – except for vague mentions of her boyfriend Harry being a-fucking-ok.

(Oz couldn't stand Harry. He couldn't stand him long before he met his girlfriend who quickly became the last thing on his mind before falling asleep and first thing after waking up. There were rumors going around about Harry – and Oz was smart enough to know rumors usually don't come out of nowhere.)

From what he heard, there were also rumors going around about his cousin's boyfriend, Nygma – but those rumors were going around in uncool, nerd circles Oz wasn't part of. Doesn't mean he wasn't concerned about his cousin's wellbeing – but he knew his cousin. He knew the Cobblepot blood. Despite being tiny, awkward and polite Oswald could hold a mean grudge and he sure as hell knew how to defend himself.

Or maybe Oz was just lying to himself, because he knew who's also interested in his cousin. Everybody knew Jim Gordon – a serious, utterly intolerable prep – has hots for the shorter Cobblepot. Not like Oswald's current boyfriend was perfect, no – he was weird and something about him always rubbed Oz the wrong way, but at least he wasn't Jim fucking Gordon.

Oswald's love life wasn't Oz's main concern. His main concern was his own love life – which wasn't heading in a direction he liked.

(If it was heading in any direction at all.)

They met during a lame party, one year earlier. Most of the people were either drunk or high or both and he was in the kitchen, sitting on the table and smoking a cigarette as she entered, her skin covered in glitter and her eyes oddly red.

(He knew this kind of red, he saw it a lot of times from his cousin. It was a sad kind of red. One that came with tears.)

„Oh.” she said after noticing him. „Sorry, should... Should I leave?”

„There's enough room for both of us. Are you... Okay?” he asked, staring at her face. „You've been crying. Do you need help?”

She looked surprised and he kind of regretted asking her that; maybe he shouldn't be so blunt.

„No, it'll pass.” she said finally, smiling lightly; even despite crying there was still a lot of glitter on her face and he could see a tiny foil heart on her pink bottom lip. „You can give me a cigarette though.”

He gave her one and lit it up for her, as her hands were shaking; up close he could see that her lashes were still wet and matted and that there was a small foil star on her left eyebrow. Glitter mixed up with her freckles and Oz thought – putting his lighter back in his pocket – it turns her skin into a painting of galaxies.

„So, what's your name, beautiful stranger?” he asked eventually, as she visibly calmed down.

„I'm Charlie. And you... Handsome stranger?”

He laughed and winked at her and she grinned in response. She had a beautiful smile, a very genuine, bright one that reached her eyes and lit them up.

„Oz.”

They almost kissed during their first meeting, but were interrupted by some drunk strangers. They shuffled away from each other, Charlie visibly more distraught than him; he wouldn't mind kissing her and taking her home with him and sneaking her into his bedroom and then maybe waking up next to her the next day, assuming she wasn't the sneak-out-early-in-the-morning type.

„I think I'll go home now.” he said and got off the table, stretching his legs. „You need a ride? I have a spare helmet.”

„That'd be great... My boyfriend was supposed to pick me up, but... He's not going to.” she said, averting his eyes and nervously toying with the hem of her dress.

So she had a boyfriend. That'd explain why she looked so terrified. Maybe it'd also explain why she looked so sad.

She didn't live anywhere near him and the trip was longer than he expected, but he didn't mind the time spent with her arms around him; he supposed that's the last time he's seeing her anyway, considering they didn't even exchange phone numbers.

(She did seem familiar though. Maybe she was a friend of a friend on Facebook? He couldn't tell.)

One week later his cousin Oswald – his flatmate – texted him after his cooking class, asking if he'll mind him bringing someone over for tea? Oz texted back saying no, of course he won't, as long as they'll stay clear of his bedroom.

He was sitting on the couch in a living room when the door opened and Oswald came in, excitedly talking about how good season 2 of House of Cards was.

„Well, I have to catch up then.” someone said cheerfully and Oz's heart skipped a beat as he turned around on the couch, to see the familiar mass of red waves covering the back of Charlie's head. „I like Kevin Spacey. He reminds me of my dad.”

She put her coat on a hanger and turned around and then she saw Oz on the couch, silently staring at her and her face lit up and it felt like a great weight was lifted off his shoulders.

„Small world!” she exclaimed, walking up to him.

When Oswald left them for a moment she turned around to face him.

None of them mentioned the kiss that almost happened; they did exchange phone numbers though, and Facebook accounts, and some other things.

(She was a friend of Louise. Naturally. That'd explain why she looked so familiar.)

Back to present day Oz kept mercilessly tracking down enemy team's Zenyatta and cornering him before he could do anything about the damage his team was receiving.

„Aw, let that Zen live.” Charlie said and he heard a quiet pop!, meaning she was chewing gum. „He's doing his best.”

„This map is not big enough for two good healers.” he said nonchalantly and she giggled and he could hear Louise and Gordon roll their eyes. „I'm earning you that post-game card.”

„I'm earning it myself, but thanks. Hey, Oswald, is our movie night still a thing?”

„Oh, it definitely is.” Oswald assured Charlie as he was gunning down enemy Hanzo. „Louise, are you still coming?”

„Yeah. I'll bring... Well, something.”

„Don't worry, I'll bake some muffins.” Charlie said, running – or rather flying – for her life away from Mei's Blizzard. „A lot of them.”

„Will there be any left for me?” Oz asked and he heard Vicki typing furiously and then his phone buzzed and a messanger bubble popped up on the screen; he knew what it's going to say.

„I'll save some for you.” she promised him. „Hey Jim, save some for you as well?”

„If it's not a problem.” he said solemnly and Oz winced. „Louise, you're going to bring them home, right?”

„Oh, I'll try my best. Can't promise anything though. Junkrat's sneaking behind us. Whoops. Past tense.”

After the match ended – they won 3:0 and Louise got potg as Widowmaker, prompting the enemy team to throw a hissy fit over „FUCKING ATTACK WIDOWS” - Oz finally read the message Vicki sent him during the match.

YOU THIRSTY IDIOT.

He shrugged. What could he say? She was right, there was no denying – even though he was doing his best to hide it. On good days he'd almost fool himself into thinking Charlie is just a friend of his cousin, a nice girl who sends him memes at 3 am and bakes the best damn muffins he've ever eaten.

But she was so much more than that. She was also taken; and as much as he hated her fucking Harry he never said anything out loud, knowing damn well it'd only be interpreted one way.

That night he thought of her before falling asleep. She was on his mind a lot lately; but that night it was less about the warmth she made him feel with her laughter and more about the way she tilted her head and exposed her neck when lost in thoughts. Less about wanting to make her laugh – and more about her lips parted in a moan.

That night he jacked off to the thought of his cousin's close friend, who was in a committed relationship.

*** Next evening he met her on his way to a boxing match. He was just leaving when she showed up, her cheeks red from the chilly weather and her hair a mess, thanks to wind.

„Oh! You're leaving?” she asked; was that disappointment in her voice? He hoped so.

„Yeah. Things and stuff.” he replied, putting his leather jacket on and picking his backpack up.

„How mysterious! Are you doing something illegal?”

„Very.” he blurted out; he wasn't lying. His matches were illegal.

„Then try to not get caught... Though I'm sure I'd be able to convince Harry to represent you in court!” she giggled and he pursed his lips and nodded and left, his mood completely ruined. Did she have to mention her douchebag of a boyfriend?

Vicki was waiting for him outside the – officially abandonded – building where the match was supposed to be held. She was smoking and offered him a cigarette as soon as she saw him.

„Thanks.” he muttered, lighting it. „How's your day?”

„Could be better, could be worse. How's yours?”

„I'm going to fucking deck someone tonight.”

„That bad, huh?”

She finished her cigarette and crushed under the heel of her boot.

„It's your lucky night then. You'll be fighting Napier.”

„How the fuck do you know?”

„I'm a journalism major, remember. All the right questions to all the right people.”

She crossed her arms and inhaled the cold, sharp air.

„Le's get inside, I can feel my insides freezing.”

He shrugged, got rid of his cigarette and silently followed her.

„How's your cousin?” she asked, as they were entering the building.

„He's having a movie night with Lou and Charlie.”

„Oh, so that's where your bad mood comes from. You're still not over it?”

„Looks like I'm not.”

„You never told me how you actually met her.”

The building used to be a warehouse; it was spacious and relatively well lit. The host set up a makeshift ring there; and other people were starting to slowly flow in.

„Not tonight.” he said shortly. „You have our masks?”

As instructed by the host, every contestant – as well as every spectator – was supposed to wear a mask, to conceal their identity from potential cops masquerading as... Well, not cops.

Vicky patted her stuffed bag.

„Yeah. You sure yours is even admissible? You can stab someone to death with this beak.”

„The host said I can wear it as long as I don't use it to my advantage. Meaning... No stabbing. At least not tonight.”

„Edgy.” she said dryly and he laughed in response.

They parted ways – he put his mask on and joined the other people in a makeshift locker-room, while Vicky stayed behind, as spectators were not allowed anywhere behind the scenes.

Napier – or Joker, as he demanded to be called during nights like this – was sitting on a bench, staring other people down. His skin looked unnaturally pale, as he coated himself in white paint; he never wore a proper, physical mask. Only paint.

„Penguin, my man!” Joker greeted him cheerfully, not moving from his spot. „It'll be my pleasure to destroy you on this lovely night!”

„In your dreams, you freak.” he said coldly, not even trying to hide his disdain. He knew Jack Napier – they studied at the same college, even though nobody was able to tell exactly what is Napier exactly studying. He also knew Napier has his eyes on Harleen – a very sweet, very intelligent psych major who once helped him get away with some of his illegal shenanigans, despite not even knowing what's his name. That was the type of person Harleen was – type of person that needed to be preserved and protected, for they were making the world actually habitable.

And Napier having his eyes on her meant she's about to lose some of this goodness, same way one Esme Midnight and her step-brother Rocco lost their optimism and energy.

Their fight was first that night. Once on the ring, Oz let his body take control – it wasn't his first fight in general and not his first fight with Napier. He knew the drill. He knew the tricks – even though Joker was a one trick pony, his trick being unpredactibility.

As they fought, his mind came back to Charlie, or rather her boyfriend. He was a typical – stereotypical, even – frat boy; it was a miracle his name wasn't Chad. He was a law student, came from a rich family, his parents were friends with the mayor. He was a Republican and a living embodiment of the „boys will be boys” sentiment.

And Oz absolutely, truly, madly, deeply hated his guts.

(It was not a simple jealousy. At least he hoped so.)

Thinking about Harry Spencer did help him win the fight though. Joker never stood any chance.

„Are you sure you're not trying to actually kill Napier?” Vicki asked him after they left; they were going to a bar to get a beer or five.

„I wouldn't cry if that happened.”

„You'd end up in jail. For a long time.”

„Not really, no. Remember, my family's rich. Jail's not an option for anyone with the name Cobblepot.”

„But do you think Charlie would want to hang out with a murderer?” she asked and he groaned, rolling his eyes.

„She's a woman's studies major and Napier's an alleged rapist. I think her moral code might have a blind spot for me killing him.”

„That's... One way to win a girl's heart.” Vicki said, giving him a concerned look. „And the exact reason I don't take dating tips from you.”

„Speaking of dating... How's your grand plan going?” he asked when they reached the bar and sat down in a nearly empty room. „Did you ask her out yet?”

„I did. We have a date tomorrow.”

„And do you think there will be a second one?”

„I fucking hope so, she's...”

Vicki paused and Oz reached to pat her on a shoulder.

„Take your time. I get it. I really do.”

(He meant it. They both knew how hard it can be to find the right words to describe a girl; to fully do their beauty justice. Usually they just settled on „I want to both do unspeakable things to her and make waffles with her, you feel?”.)

After he and Vicki parted ways, he tried to open the door to his flat as quietly as possible, to avoid waking anyone up – but it wasn't necessary, as nobody was asleep anyway. The lights were on and Oswald and his friends were in the living room, talking excitedly.

„Hi Oz!” Charlie said cheerfully as she noticed him walking towards his room. „Join us!”

„Depends on what are you going to be watching.” he said; he was lying. He'd join them regardless of their movie pick.

(He could see she was wearing her pink night gown that exposed her legs and arms. Naturally.)

„Jupiter Ascending! I stand by my opinion, this movie is a masterpiece.”

„And I stand by mine. It's garbage.” Louise said, not looking up from her phone. „Hurry up, Oz. And maybe take a shower. You stink.”

Charlie stopped him as he was about to leave the room.

„Are you hungry?” she asked, weirdly nervously. „I can... Make something.”

„You're a guest, I'm not going to make you cook for me. Besides... I'm a big boy.”

„But I want to cook. Plus I'm going to the kitchen anyway.”

Her insistence made his lips twitch in a poorly hidden smile and he nodded.

„Well, alright. It's a free country.”

As she left he followed her with his eyes. Louise finally looked up and shot him a disgusted, disapproving look.

„Take. A. Shower.” she repeated, accentuating every word. „You filthy bastard.”

(He wondered whether she's referring to the fact he was covered in sweat or maybe the fact he stared at Charlie's bare legs as she was walking towards the kitchen. Both were plausible options.)

When he returned – his hair dripping wet and his head a mess, despite a cold shower – they were waiting for him, the movie about to start; Charlie made him a – perfectly round, perfectly golden – omelette and Louise threw a pillow at him, telling him to at least put a shirt on, to which he flipped her off.

At some point during their third movie, around 4am, Charlie – who was seated on the floor, right next to him, close enough for him to occasionally brush her thigh with his hand on accident – dozed off, with her head leaning on his arm.

From that perspective he could see her long lashes. She looked so peaceful; and the warmth of her skin against his felt like home.

„Should... Should I wake her up?” he whispered to Louise, who was right behind him.

In response, Louise gently kicked her in the back and she woke up almost instantly, her face turning red when she noticed who was her pillow for a short while.

„I think that's it for me.” she muttered, getting up shakily and using his arm as a support. „Oswald, I'll crash in your room.”

„Goodnight!” Oswald said cheerfully, still full of energy, as Charlie left the room, yawning; and Oz remained perfectly still, his arm ridiculously hot where she put her hand.

The next morning he encountered her in the kitchen; still sleepy, not fully awake, slowly sipping her coffee. It was just the two of them; Oswald and Louise were asleep on the couch and Oz could hear their snoring.

„Morning.” he said, opening the fridge and looking inside. „Breakfast?”

„Mmm.” she muttered and he smiled to himself. „I dunno. Give me a sec.”

In soft, morning light she looked almost unreal. One of the straps of her night gown slipped down and he could see the faint outline of her breasts underneath the pastel pink fabric.

„Alright, I'm awake.” she said eventually, seemingly unaware of his wandering gaze. „Now feed me.”

„What do you want?”

„Waffles.” she said firmly. „Crispy and golden. You know how to make waffles, right?”

„Yeah. You taught me that, about... Two months ago.” he said, gathering his ingredients. „Remember?”

„I was sure you forgot.” she said softly and he fought off the urge to turn around and look at her.

The waffles turned out perfect and he found vanilla ice cream in the freezer and made her another coffee; with condensed milk and vanilla, strong and sweet, just how she liked it.

And that was the last time he saw her before everything went to shit.

*** It was a Wednesday afternoon and they were all playing together; „just one match” they kept saying for five games now. It was going well. They were having fun and even Gordon seemed to be way less annoying than usual. Oz could hear Harry in the background of everything Charlie was saying; but she seemed to be in a good mood, so that was all that mattered.

He was playing Hog that evening; he started to – very stubbornly – play him when Charlie offhandedly, jokingly mentioned Hog looks like someone who'd treat her right.

(Nobody commented on it. Nobody pointed out it probably says something disturbing about her relationship.)

She was playing Mercy and the enemy Mei was going after her like her life depended on it; at some point Oz just hooked her away, to make her fuck off.

„God, Oz, I could kiss you right now.” Charlie said, flying up to Louise who was testing out Pharah. „Thanks!”

„Everything for you.” he said nonchalantly, pretending he doesn't see the enemy Soldier sneaking around. „Pucker up, angel, I want that kiss. Or a solo rez. Both will do.”

„A kiss won't potentially ruin the game for us, so yeah. Pucker up.”

And that was the exact moment everything went to shit, meaning: Harry Spencer – Charlie's apparently-fucking-great boyfriend – threw what could only be described as a temper tantrum.

Turned out he wasn't at all a fan of Charlie joking about kissing other people – and they heard it all, because he didn't realize that even though she instantly turned the game off (leaving them hanging, but it didn't matter; they were too concerned to keep playing properly anyway and told the enemy team to do whatever they want) the discord was still running in the background, her good quality mic picking everything up.

Every insult. Every threat. Every tearful apology.

0swald

what should we do???

RaptureFucker

call the cops

WizardOfOz

they'll only make things worse for her. I'm going to pay them a visit.

victoriousvale YOU'RE going to make things worse for her, wtf, stay where you are!

gourdon I'm with him on this one though. Cops won't do any good. Cobblepot, you still there?

0swald

yes

gourdon ...not you. The other one.

0swald

he just left. i can hear his bike, i think he's serious.

victoriousvale he's going to get them both killed!!!!!!

RaptureFucker

vicki

did you know?

victoriousvale about what

RaptureFucker harry being like this

did anyone know?

anyone?

victoriousvale no, i didn't!!! but you heard him!!! if oz will show up at their doorstep now it's going to end up in a fucking bloody mess!!

gourdon

Fine. I'm on it. I'll be there before him. I'll stop him.

0swald

don't kill my cousin!

gourdon I'm not going to fight him, I'm going to talk some sense into him. Gordon out.

When Oz stopped his bike in front of the building where Charlie and Harry lived, Gordon was waiting for him on the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets.

„What the fuck are you doing here?!” Oz snarled at him, trying to get past. „I'm going in.”

„No, you're not. You're going to calm down. And then, you and I... Then we're going to talk.”

Gordon's grip on his shoulder was surprisingly firm. Blinded by fury, Oz grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him close, staring into his infuriatingly calm eyes.

„I'm going in.” he repeated.

„I texted her right before you showed up.” Gordon said, still staring at Oz. „I asked her if everything's alright, because she suddenly logged off. She texted back. Meaning she's alive. And you can't just barge in.”

„Why?”

„What makes you think she wants your help?” Jim finally blurted out. „Do you think that was the first time it happened? Do you really believe it?”

His thoughts came back to the first time he saw her, to the redness around her eyes and the way their lips almost met, the way she put her fingers on his shoulders.

„No.” he finally replied. „No, I don't think that was the first time.”

„Do you want her to leave him, Cobblepot?”

„That's none of your business.”

„Oh but it is. It is my business.”

„What the fuck do you want, Gordon?”

„For you to hear me out.” Gordon replied stoically, still staring him down. „We can help each other.”

„I don't want your help.”

„No, but you need it. And because I don't need yours... This is my first and last offer. Hear. Me. Out.”

„Fuck. Fine.” Oz said, giving up. „The fuck you want?”

„Are you in love with Charlie, Cobblepot?”

„That's none of your fucking business, Gordon.”

„You are then. So obviously, you want to help her, because... She's too good for this situation, right? She doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve her. You want to help her out, maybe you're even hoping she'll leave him for you...”

„What's your point?”, Oz interrupted him, feeling way more uneasy than he'd like to admit.

„I'll be blunt: we both want the same things for two very different people. I'm of course talking... About Oswald.” Gordon finally announced, his voice cracking just a bit. „I love your cousin, Cobblepot. And he's in the same exact shit as Charlie, it's just... A bit less obvious. And I want you to help me get him out of it. In exchange... I can help you with Charlie. I have classes with Spencer. I can work him. Get a confession out of him.”

„And what if I refuse? Will you just... Leave Charlie? In this bullshit?”

„She still has you, doesn't she? But the question is... If your gentle pushes will be enough to wake her up.”

„Are you expecting me to befriend Nygma?”

„What? No, this is out of question. He knows you're Oswald's cousin, he'll never open up to you. No, I want you to employ your less personal skills. Oh, stop making that face, of course everyone knows you've been stealing files.”

They were standing on the empty sidewalk, facing each other; Gordon seemed to be perfectly, unnaturally calm and Oz was still shaking from thinly veiled fury that was making his blood boil.

„We can get confessions out of Spencer and Nygma. We can make Charlie and Oswald face the facts. We can help them make the right decision. We can... We can help them. Ruin the illusion.”

„Fuck. Fine.” Oz repeated, feeling infuriatingly helpless. „Fine. Deal. I'll see what I can find. Maybe he said something to one of his weird friends. I'm still going to try to talk some sense into Charlie though.”

„She won't listen, but fine, have it your way.” Gordon said politely and turned around, ready to leave.

„Hey, Gordon.”

„Yeah?”

„I'm not doing this for you, yeah? I'm only doing this for her.”

„And here I thought you actually care about your cousin.” Jim said mockingly, walking away. „Go home, Cobblepot. Oswald's worried sick.”

He disappeared behind the corner, leaving Oz alone with his thoughts and an overwhelming desire to spill some blood.

*** He next saw Charlie next week, when he was paying Vicki a visit with some beer and sadness. Charlie was there and she was about to leave and he really, really wished she'd stay.

She looked as chipper as always and seemed to be genuinely surprised when he put his hand on her shoulder when they were in the corridor.

„Is everything alright, Charlie?” he asked, looking into her – blue, blue, blue – eyes.

„What do you mean?” she nervously replied,  nervously pressing her bag to her chest.

„With you and Harry. Is everything okay? Because I'm here if you need to vent. If he's... Not treating you right.”

For a moment he was sure she's going to crack. That she's going to let her feelings out. That this was all it took to solve the problem-

but instead she only furrowed her brows and pursed her lips.

„My relationship is my own, Oz.” she said sharply. „Mind your business.”

And just like that she turned around and left, leaving him alone and heartbroken.

„Wow. Real smooth.” Vicki said mockingly, walking out of the kitchen. „See? That's why I don't take dating tips from you.”

„I just want to help her.” he said, setting his beer-filled bag down.

„Then at least be smart about it. Have you talked to Gordon?”

„Yeah. And he told me the same exact thing.”

„But you're not going to listen since it's coming from him, so let me be your voice of reason. Be smart about it, Oz. She doesn't want your help. Make her want it. Make her realize she needs it.”

It all sounded simple and doable, but the truth was – he had no idea how to get around to doing it. How could she not see everything's wrong? How could she not see this is not how she should be treated?

(Even putting his own way of treating her aside – there were still other people. Oswald. Louise. Her other friends he didn't really know all that well. They were all treating her with kindness, because she never did anything to deserve anything less – so why couldn't she see Harry isn't giving her what she deserves?)

But, alas – he tried. Next time he saw her neither of them mentioned her sudden, short-lived outburst; she was all smiles and oh!s again, all charm and bubbliness. He learned his lesson from that one time though, and didn't try to openly talk about it again – at least not with her.

(He talked about her a lot behind her back, mostly with Vicki and Oswald; and Oswald seemed to agree that this situation is bullshit. He even promised to try to talk sense into her, as a friend, as someone who knew her considerably better than Oz.)

Watching Charlie – and remembering every fucking word Harry said to her – made Oz notice a few things about his cousin. He always knew something is up with Nygma; but he never really thought about it, believing his cousin knows what's best for him. He was of Cobblepot bloodline, after all – but their frequent night discussions almost made him look at Oswald the same way Gordon was probably looking at him.

(He and Gordon were in touch, which was weird and felt wrong, but they had to. One time, when Gordon was being particularly annoying with his pestering Oz over his lack of progress in going through Nygma's files, Oz outright asked him what does he see in his cousin?

„I don't know. What do you see in Charlie?” Jim then asked in return.

„She's just... Good. She's gentle. And beautiful.” he said, not sure why is he being so honest with Gordon of all people.

„Here's your answer then.”

For once in his life Oz felt like he has something in common with Jim Gordon.)

Not even once did Oz as much as consider confessing his feelings to Charlie. There was no point in doing so – he was damn sure only she only sees him platonically. The almost-kiss was often on his mind; but that night she was distraught. Maybe slightly drunk (though her breath didn't smell of alcohol and her eyes were clear); and she never sygnalized any attraction to him.

(He knew damn well he's handsome and he knew damn well about his bad boy charm. Didn't seem to be working on her though.)

*** Two months had passed since his late-night conversation with Gordon. Their weird pact was seemingly going nowhere – Oz couldn't find anything on Nygma's drive and Gordon couldn't get anything out of Harry Spencer, despite putting his best douchebag face on.

(Louise, who was also a law student and saw this first-hand confirmed Gordon is really trying to befriend Harry for some reason. His efforts weren't entirely futile – Spencer did seem to be comfortable around Jim, comfortable enough for rape jokes and some slut shaming; but not comfortable enough for truth about his girlfriend. Not comfortable for anything Gordon didn't already know about.)

Oz was alone that night; Oswald was studying with Louise and Gordon at their place and Vicki was writing three papers at the same time. He was alone that night and only had his thoughts to accompany him and – as usual – Charlie entered the picture, all soft and pink and beautiful.

He was just indulging some of his wants (her skin under his fingers her fingers in his hair their breaths tangled together) when his phone buzzed on the table and he blindly picked up, sure it was Oswald with an emergency.

„Oz.” he heard Charlie say, and she sounded so tense and awkward and sad. „Am I interrupting?”

„...no.” he muttered, his hand still moving. „What's up?”

„Can... Can I come over?” she asked hesitantly. „I'm sorry, I know it's so sudden and you probably have plans, but-”

„No, it's not a problem. You can come.” he interrupted her hastily. „Oswald's not home though.”

„I know. I just... Want some company.”

(It almost sounded like she's settling for something less, but he didn't mind. He didn't mind being something less, if it meant being anything at all to her.)

„I can bring some muffins.” she added after a moment. „I'll be there... In an hour.”

„Sure.” he said, closing his eyes. „See you.”

(He had no remorse for jacking off during the call. She didn't know. It didn't influence her life in any way.)

When she showed up he was on the couch in the living room, reading. He took a shower and put on clean clothes; just for her.

„You hair's wet. Did you shower just for me?” she asked, entering the room. „I'm touched.”

„Everything for you.” he said, forcing himself to not look up from his book. „What brings you here?”

„Harry's out and I'm feeling lonely.” she said, sitting down in Oswald's favorite chair. „Are you sure I'm not interrupting anything?”

„You spend so much time here it doesn't even count as coming over anymore, you know. So no. You're not interrupting anything.”

He finally put his book down and looked at her; she looked sad.

„What's eating you?” he asked and she blinked at looked at him.

„What?”

„You look sad. What's eating you?”

„I guess I'm just tired. Long week.”

She wasn't telling him the truth, and he knew that; she was hiding something. But fine. He decided he's not going to push.

They ordered some food; he convinced her to give his favorite place – a small takeout bar ran by a very jolly, very Slavic family – a chance and she seemed to genuinely enjoy the bizzarre wonders of East European food. They binged Brooklyn 99 together – her choice, not his.

About halfway through the second season she turned around to face him. He only had a chance to notice her fingers trembling slightly, before she suddenly threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

That night she tasted like a weird mix of bubblegum, cherry coke and pierogi; and he didn't want to push her away, even though he knew he should. He didn't want the moment to stop.

He was on his back and she was on top of him, still kissing him, her fingers still trembling; and he could feel something warm and wet on his face.

Tears.

„Charlie?” he muttered, finally breaking the kiss. „You're crying.”

„I know, dumbass.” she said, tears still streaming down her face and falling on his. „Sorry.”

„Hey.” he said softly, slowly sitting up, forcing her to back up a bit. „We should talk.”

„No, I should leave.” she said, averting his eyes. „I... I don't know what happened. Sorry.”

„Don't lie to me.” he blurted out without thinking. „Please. Not to me.”

She finally looked at him and he handed her a tissue and she wiped her tears and then... Then she started talking.

„I'm sorry.” was the first thing she said. „This isn't right. This isn't right, but it's just how I feel. I know a person can love two people at once, I know, but you and Harry... You two are so different.”

(Yeah, obviously – Oz thought – one's not a COMPLETE douchebag.)

„I just... I don't know. Can I be blunt?”

„Of course.”

„You're on my mind a lot lately.” she blurted out, looking embarassed. „When I'm alone. Or not. I think you're hot. And it's been on my mind... A lot. When I'm around you... I feel things I don't feel when I'm around Harry.”

„What do you feel around him?” he asked quietly and she only smiled and shook her head.

„My relationship's my own, Oz. Remember?”

„Yeah, well, it seems like I just became a part of it, want it or not.”

She closed her eyes and sighed and when she opened them again, she looked surprisingly peaceful, even though there were still faint trails of tears on her cheeks.

„Do you think Harry's bad for me?” she finally asked and his heart stopped for a moment.

„Is that a trick question?” he asked carefully.

„Maybe.”

„And do you want me to be honest?”

„I'm not expecting anything less. Not from you. You've always been honest with me.”

„Then yes.” he said finally, giving up on trying to uphold the facade. „I think he's bad for you.”

„Funny thing... I've been thinking exactly the same.”

„Wait, what?” he asked, not fully comprehending what just happened.

She gave him a sad smile and shook her head.

„I love him, but I don't think he loves me. I don't feel loved. I don't feel appreciated. I don't feel wanted. I only feel... Lonely. Useless. Like a prop. A thing. And do you know on whose attention I always could count? Who never failed to make me feel less terrible, who complimented me on my cooking, who kept their eyes on me?”

„No.” he said softly, despite already knowing the answer.

„You. You did. All this time, all these months... You've been filling this void. Just because. Without asking for anything in return.”

(She wasn't entirely right, but he wasn't going to correct her.)

„But why me, specifically? There are other people. You and Oswald seem close.”

„Oz, don't play dumb. I know the truth. Oswald told me.”

„WHAT?”

„We got sad drunk once. I said... I said I wish you saw me the way I see you. And Oswald... Oswald then just looked me, his eyes wide open, like he just heard the most outrageous thing ever, and just said YOU DON'T KNOW?”

(How did his cousin know? How did he figure it out?)

„I know you have feelings for me.” she whispered, putting her hand on his. „I know. And I think... This is what kept me going.”

„Are you going to break up with Harry?”

„I can't.” she replied after a long silence. „I... I don't know how. I don't know if I want to. I keep telling myself... He'll change. For the better.”

„How many times, Charlie? How many times have you told yourself that?”

„I lost count.” she said quietly. „After every argument. Every... Every threat. Every word. But I still love him. I can't just leave him. But I also... I think I also love you. Will you judge me if I stay with him?”

„It's not safe for you. If he'll find out...”

„He won't. Besides... I know I can count on you. Right?”

She brushed his knuckles with her index finger.

„Right.” he said quietly. „So... What about us? What does it make me?”

„Kiss me.” she said instead of actually answering. „It's been so long... Kiss me. Kiss me like I've been imagining you would.”

„Yeah? How exactly?” he asked, giving in, pulling her closer. „Do you want me to be gentle? Rough?”

„Take your pick.” she muttered in response. „Both will work.”

He kissed her gently, tenderly; he could feel her fingers in his hair, on his back, on his shoulders. He didn't want to let her go, not after all these months. And he didn't want to think about what will happen when the sun rises and she'll come back home, to Harry; he was sure they'll find a way to fix this mess, to get her out of it.

(He wanted to message Gordon right here, right now, to tell him Charlie's been aware of everything, to tell him all his efforts to befriend Spencer were actually for nothing).

They only kissed that night, but it was enough. They had time.

*** It took her a month to break up with Harry Spencer, a long, surprisingly painful month. They never mentioned anything to other people; no pet names, no small, casual displays of affection. Just in case. Just to be careful. They were doing a great job at hiding, at only brushing lips when no one was around, at only calling each other „love” when nobody could hear it – but eventually, the truth came out.

Thankfully, it came out to their friends at first. She asked him if he can pick her from appointment at a tattoo parlor and drop her off at a cafe, where she was going to meet Louise; he naturally agreed, saying she can repay him in kisses or muffins, because good god, he loved her muffins.

But she never showed up and wasn't picking up her phone; and when he called Louise to ask if she has any idea what's going on he heard Charlie's in Gordon's room. She showed up on their doorstep, crying, sobbing, and refused to say what's going on, so they wrapped her in a blanket and waited for her to calm down a bit.

„At some point she just... Dozed off.” Louise muttered to him. „And now she's sleeptalking. Something about Harry... And something about you. Jim asks if there's something you want to tell us.”

There was nothing he wanted to tell them – but there was something he had to tell them.

That was the first time he heard Jim Gordon lose his composure.

„ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” Gordon roared at him through the phone. „FUCK!”

„Hey, our arrangement's still a thing. I'm keeping my end of the deal.”

„How could you do this to her?! Do you have ANY IDEA what kind of danger you're putting her in?!”

„She initiated everything!”

„And you're a grown ass man! Why didn't you just say no?!”

„Oh, fuck off, you hypocrite, don't think I didn't see you and Oswald making out in the kitchen two weeks ago. You're the last person who has any right to judge me. Now give Louise her phone back.”

„You made out with her?” Louise said immediately after getting her phone back. „Wow, Cobblepot. Just wow.”

„Look, as for now I'm her side boyfriend. That's just the way things are. How is she?”

„Bad. That was a regular breakdown.”

„Any idea what triggered it?”

„I have two theories. One – Harry threw a hissy fit again. Two – she feels like she's using you.”

„Both equally grim. Should I come over?”

„Heavens, no. She's in good hands. You... Just go home. Oz!”

„What?”

„You're not going to cheat on her, are you?”

„I'm going to say it once. I've been stuck with a serious fucking case of emotional blueballs for months. Months. I'm not going to fuck this up. Have some faith in me, wouldn't you?”

„Fine. I'm calling Vicki.”

(Vicki called him twenty minutes later, but he was on his bike, so he called her back after reaching his building. She picked up and the first thing he heard was her laughter.

„You fucker!” she eventually said. „I knew you'd do it!”

„Always glad to hear how supportive you are.” he said dryly, looking for his keys. „What did Louise tell you?”

„Everything, Oz. Everything, you little homewrecker.”)

All in all, they took it rather well – especially Oswald, who seemed to be genuinely happy for them and very concerned about Charlie's situation.

(When listening to his cousin's excited chatter he kept wondering if Jim already heard what he heard. If Oswald told him about not feeling loved and about Jim filling some void.)

But their friends knowing wasn't an issue. He knew their friends and he knew nothing will get back to Harry – especially not from Gordon, who was suffering through every minute of trying to get closer to Spencer. No, the truth came out in a way nobody expected – Spencer figured it out by itself.

It was a late Saturday evening when Oswald's phone rang.

„Oh! Charlie's calling.” he said an Oz only muttered something in response, busy fixing a paragraph in a paper he was supposed to submit in few hours.

Few moments later Oswald – even more pale than usual – shook Oz's arm violently, turning his phone's volume all the way up.

„What?!” Oz asked with annoyance, but quickly understood. Charlie called Oswald during an argument with Harry – and things were getting ugly.

He went through her phone when she wasn't looking. He went through her phone and found her texts and their discord chat and Oz thanked god Charlie was sensible enough to delete the photo she sent him earlier that week; her freckled skin looked beautiful in the morning sunlight and her black lace bra almost costed him his good composure in class.

„I'm going there.” he said shortly, getting up, walking towards the door. „Call Gordon. Tell him to get a car ready.”

Just like last time, Gordon was waiting for him on the street; but this time he didn't stop him.

„What is going on?” he asked instead. „Oswald didn't give me any details.”

„I'm getting Charlie out of here. And I need you... To stop me from killing Harry Spencer.”

„You picked a wrong man for the job, mate. I want to kill him myself.”

„Tough shit.” Oz said, entering the building. „You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I can stop you from killing Nygma.”

„What, you found something on him?”

„I've been tracking his online activity and I got something Oswald's definitely not gonna like. It might open his eyes though.”

„Great. But now, let's focus on why we're here.”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened and they were standing right in front of the door leading to Charlie and Harry's place.

„Use that stick you got up your ass as a moral compass, Gordon.” Oz said, opening the door without knocking. „Anyone home?”

Spencer wasn't expecting them, they took him by surprise; after a moment he was lying on the floor and Oz was on top of him, his fingers around Spencer's neck.

„Cobblepot, this is enough.” Gordon said eventually, pushing him away. „Leave him to me. You go get her.”

Charlie locked herself in a bathroom and Oz could hear her muffled sobs from behind the door.

„Babe?” he asked carefully, not sure what to do. „Can I come in?”

„Is Harry alive?” she asked in return and he sighed and glanced at a – seemingly unconcious – Spencer, guarded by slighly annoyed Jim Gordon.

„Yeah.” he said. „What, do you want me to change that? It can be arranged.”

„No!” she replied instantly and he heard her unlocking the door. „I don't want you to get in trouble.”

The door opened and he took a step back and she left the bathroom and he instantly felt his blood boil at the sight of her giant black eye.

„Don't kill him.” she repeated, awkwardly trying to cover the mark with her hair. „Don't... Don't look at me.”

„Can I take you home?” he asked, his fists shaking. „I'm not leaving you with him.”

„Can I pack my stuff? He's... He's going to wreck it. I know it. He told me.”

„Take your time.” Gordon said, still sitting next to Spencer. „If you go with him, I'm sure everything will fit inside my car.”

They hastily packed her things – mostly books and clothes and an outstanding amount of kitchen utensils – and put them all in Gordon's car.

In the meantime, Harry Spencer was slowly starting to wake up.

„What the...” he muttered, trying to get up, but was instantly and firmly stopped by Gordon.

„You fucked up.” Gordon told him calmly, despite not being calm at all. „Big time.”

„Gordon?” Spencer muttered, trying to figure out what's going on. „Bro. What the fuck?”

„I'm not your bro, Spencer. Never was. You guys done?” he asked, looking up at Charlie and Oz, who were moving another bag full of stuff.

„Almost.” Oz replied, effortlessly lifting the heavy bag off the floor and in the background Charlie laughed quietly and asked if he's going to pick her up as well.

„Anytime, babe. Anytime.” he then said nonchalantly and walked past Spencer who was slowly piecing things together.

„You fucking cunt.” he said quietly, angrily as Charlie was walking past him.

„If I were you, I'd watch your tongue, Spencer.” Oz said calmly, squatting next to him with a knife in his hand. „You might lose it.”

„You wouldn't dare.”

„Oh, but I would. And it'd be the greatest pleasure, to cut you into small pieces. But Charlie asked me to not hurt you, so...”

„Do you think she's in love with you, Cobblepot?”

„Doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm going to keep an eye on you, Spencer. So you better watch yourself.”

„Are we done here?” Gordon asked, getting up.

„Almost.” Oz said, not taking his eyes away from Harry's face. „Wait for me outside.”

„What? No! I have one job here and I'm not going to fuck it up.”

„I'm not going to kill him, Gordon. I just want to have a friendly little chat with him. Imagine... There's someone else on the floor.”

„You know damn well that if it was Nygma I'd be the one with the knife. But fine. Have it your way.”

Oz joined them a few minutes later, putting his knife back in his pocket. Charlie didn't notice it, as she was facing the other way; Gordon only raised his eyebrows and shook his head with solemn disapproval.

„So, let's go. We need to put some ice on this eye.”

„You can always kiss it better.” Charlie said hesitantly. „I guess... This is the end.”

„I hope so. You're not going back to him, are you?”

„He hit me. He... He tried to...”

„Do you want me to chop his dick off? It can be arranged.”

„I just want to go home. Can I stay with you and Oswald for a while? I need to call my parents. Figure it out with them.”

„You can stay as long as you want to.” he said softly, handing her his spare helmet. „You can stay forever. We'll figure it out. It's not like money's any problem for any of us.”

„Can we go now?” Gordon asked impatiently, ruining the mood. „I have some stuff to do.”

Back home – where Oswald was waiting, all anxiety and stress and questions – he made her waffles, just the way she liked them. He – gently, carefully – kissed her black eye and put some cold compress on it.

„Hey, Oz?” she said eventually, as they were on a couch, her head on his lap, his fingers in her hair. „I love you.”

„And I love you, beautiful stranger.”

She laughed and he knew that she's going to be alright, one way or another.

[actual-bill-potts]

Callout Post for Murray Gold

Murray Gold, you guys, does not get enough love. So I am here, armed with a list of my favorite pieces from each series of Doctor Who. It was meant to be an orderly list, with one favorite per series, but it kind of devolved into a shouty mess about music. (Which should be expected. Last year I got an email from Spotify detailing my listening habits over the past year and apparently I’m in the top 1% of Murray Gold fans. THE MAN IS AWESOME OKAY.)

Series 1. This one was pretty easy: “Rose’s Theme” all the way. It’s slow and beautiful and vaguely space-y—it evokes images of galaxies and exploding nebulas and so forth. Has to be listened to in a certain mood because it’s very melancholy and if you can’t pause and really concentrate on it you miss the good bits.

Series 2. Another easy one! Doomsday” is a no-brainer. I have a thing for the melancholy music of Who, and this piece is just…indescribable. There’s a part where the music stops and everything just pauses for a second—and then the cello comes in and the main theme enters above that and the effect brings me near-tears every time.

Series 3. This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home” gets the top spot in series 3. It’s played when the Doctor is burning the Master’s body and is very evocative of “Battle of the Heroes” from Revenge of the Sith when Anakin and Obi-Wan are fighting at Mustafar. There’s a lovely sweeping melody in there, interspersed with discordant clashes and high sad moments—a rather good summary of the Doctor’s relationship with both Gallifrey and the Master. “Blink Suite” also gets a special mention because for all the creepiness of the episode, the song has a very beautiful classical sound.

Series 4. This one was tough; there’s so much to choose from, particularly near the end. I think if I had to pick a top song, I’d go with “The Doctor’s Theme Series 4”; the Doctor’s theme ought to be in here somewhere and it really is beautiful—those high flashes of notes near the end always bring me in mind of stars, and the rising tension with the choir and the brass that suddenly enters near the climax thrills me every time. Buuuuut I’m not going to restrict myself to one rec for this series. The Doctor’s theme is the best all-around song, but I have three other very close runner-ups. “The Rueful Fate of Donna Noble” is extremely sad but oh my gosh, is it effective. The drum beat enters just as her memories are being taken and if you want a tearjerking song, here it is. “Song of Freedom” is utterly beautiful and uplifting and everyone should listen to it at least once. You will feel just lovely afterward. Finally, this may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but “Midnight” is the song that plays during the episode of the same name, and boy is it creepy. It brings tears to my eyes in a delicious “I am completely terrified right now” sort of way. If you like that, give “Midnight” a listen. Oh, and regarding the specials, practically every song in there is sad and depressing, so if you enjoy that, just listen to the whole thing, and if you don’t, stay away. “Lithuania” is about the only cheerful song in there. I would, however, recommend “The Next Doctor"—the song to which Matt Smith first tumbles into the screen—to anyone. It’ll bring a smile to your face.

Series 5. This is where it got really hard to choose. Two of the most beautiful and prominent motifs of all Doctor Who are introduced this season: “I Am the Doctor,” and “Little Amy.” I could have gone with either of those, but lovely as they are, both of those themes are present in the majority of the pieces from series 5-7, and if you watch Doctor Who at all, you’re probably familiar with them. “Amy in the Tardis” cannot be matched for sheer musical beauty, so that’s definitely my top choice for this series. BUT also go try “I Remember You” (wonderful, triumphant theme for Amy’s big moment), “The Life and Death of Amy Pond” (played at the Proms for a few years in a row, just gorgeous), and “The Sad Man With a Box” (epic, tense, and softly intimate all at once, with a fascinating ending).

Series 6. Hooooo boy y'all, just listen to every song this series; they’re all wonderful. Ummmm, but to pick one, I’m going to go with “Forgiven”; it’s a very moving piece. Other than that…“Growing Up Fast” is a fun example of montage music, “Pop” is dark and complicated but fun to listen to, “I Am the Doctor in Utah” is probably my favorite variation on Eleven’s theme, and “36 Years” is lovely if you enjoy clock-ticking, dreamy, it’s-almost-midnight sorts of pieces. AND AND AND I’m going to devote a whole new paragraph to this one. “The Wedding of River Song” is so, so brilliant, you guys. The beautiful, soft, tender theme at the beginning, suddenly swelling into an epic tune that just keeps on growing—but you can’t tell if it’s joyous or mournful. It’s both. It’s their wedding, it’s his funeral, it’s the end of her freedom, it’s a clever trick, it’s a cruel joke, it’s all of these at once. And then it just…fades out at the end, with all the heaviness of fate and destiny, and you know that River and the Doctor have met on the shores of Lake Silencio.

Series 7A. I’m being sneaky here and splitting up series 7 because there’s just too much good stuff in it. “Goodbye Pond” is my top choice overall here—the beginning is achingly beautiful and the ending is crushingly triumphant and it’s so Amy y'all, it’s Amy’s last song and it is so worthwhile. “Oswin Oswald” is worth a listen if you like Clara at all, because it’s the very first iteration of Clara’s theme! It’s very interesting to hear it and compare it to her later, softer theme. “The Terrible Truth” is another one that’s good for purposes of Clara-nerding. It’s what plays when Oswin discovers she’s a Dalek, and it plays all throughout series 7B when Impossible Girl scenes come up. It’s very effective at setting a “mysterious and vaguely threatening but I don’t know quite why” tone, and is thrilling all on its own. I found watching series 7B after listening to it to be a fun experience as well because I got to play the “here comes an Impossible Girl mention” scavenger hunt. If you like that, listen to this. Lastly, “Together or Not at All – The Song of Amy and Rory.” This is THE Amy and Rory song. It’s a must-listen. If you like it, hop on earlier in the series and listen to “Amy and Rory Together,” which is a more instrumental version of the same theme.

The Snowmen. I’m giving “The Snowmen” its own category purely because of “Clara in the Tardis.” This song is just magical. There’s no other word for it. It’s probably my favorite song in the entire repertoire. Go listen to it. Also, “Whose Enigma” and “One Word” are epic songs that make me feel like climbing Mount Everest after listening to them. If that’s your thing, check them out.

Series 7B. Finally, we have another easy one! “Clara?” is that famous tinkly piano/flute piece that Twelve forever immortalized in “Hell Bent.” It is absolutely beautiful. There are other good pieces in series 7B, but none that compare to this one.

Day of the Doctor/Time of the Doctor. If you like Rose, my first recommendation is “Who Are You?”, which starts off with Rose’s theme and is a gorgeous musical callback to her. Besides that, “Song for Four/Home” is easily the standout piece of “The Day of the Doctor.” “Snow over Trenzalore (Song for Four)” and “This is How it Ends” are my favorite pieces from "The Time of the Doctor”; the former is melancholy and beautiful and the latter is a slow-building song with a beautiful climax.

Series 8. Ooookay, the temptation to just go with “A Good Man? (Twelve’s Theme)” was nearly overwhelming, because WOW, what a good theme that is. I love it. Listen to it. Buuuut my top pick would have to be “Song for Danny and Clara,” because it’s a beautiful orchestral piece and that’s kinda my thing. Second place goes to “(The Majestic Tale of) An Idiot with a Box” because it’s Eleven’s and Twelve’s themes TOGETHER and it is SO AWESOME TO BLAST AT FULL VOLUME THROUGH A ROOM. Seriously, listen to it.

Series 9. I love that Twelve played Clara’s theme on the electric guitar. In an episode full of standout moments, that was one of the best. Other than that, I don’t know. *side-eyes the BBC*

And there you have it! A brief (I tried…) introduction to the 19 hours and 15 minutes of beautiful Murray Gold music currently available! Go forth and listen!

[jenmedsbookreviews]

Thought long and hard about whether to write a post this week as I have done pretty much nothing of note. Then I thought to myself, I have had a lifetime of doing nothing of note and it has never stopped me posting before so here we are. How are you? Did you manage to get a clear sky and see the ‘Blood Moon’? No? Me neither but hey. Not the first and probably won’t be the last and a red moon is a red moon right?

So. My week went pretty quickly. After the busy weekend and fun of Harrogate it was somewhat of an anticlimax (understatement), but it did show me what a fabulous bunch of folk I know and I appreciate your friendship and support so much. Those who know me, know why. Those who don’t yet know why will find out soon enough. Cryptic you say? Hell yeah.

Happy to report I think the internet is fixed. Made my week. Yep. It’s one of those weeks where the little things matter. A lot. Also been doing a lot of reading which after the paltry two books (good as they were) I managed to finish last week, is not a bad thing. I’m now ahead of my reading schedule. Whoop whoop. Might even make a dent in my Netgalley mountain if I’m lucky.

Book wise, it’s been a pretty slow week for me. Two bits of book post and one e-book post and one book on Netgalley. No new Amazon orders either. I know. I should be ashamed right? My book post was most excellent. First I got a copy of Trap by Lilja Sigurdardottir from the lovely Orenda books, who were also responsible for my e-book post, After He Died by Michael J Malone. My second bit of book post was The Syndicate by Guy Bolton from the lovely folk at One World. Netgalley wise it was Karin Slaughter’s Pieces of Her which I’m reading for a blog tour.

Books I Have Read

The Language of Secrets – Ausma Zehanat Khan

AN UNDERCOVER INFORMANT HAS BEEN MURDERED… BUT WHOSE SIDE WAS HE ON?

The sequel to The Unquiet Dead by Ausma Zehanat Khan, featured on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour

‘Powerful’ – Bookpage * ‘Exceptionally fine’ – Library Journal * ‘Compelling’ – Leigh Russell

A terrorist cell is planning an attack on New Year’s Day. For months, Mohsin Dar has been undercover, feeding information back to the national security team. Now he’s dead.

Detective Esa Khattak, compromised by his friendship with the murdered agent, sends his partner Rachel Getty into the unsuspecting cell. As Rachel delves deeper into the unfamiliar world of Islam and the group’s circle of trust, she discovers Mohsin’s murder may not be politically motivated after all. Now she’s the only one who can stop the most devastating attack the country has ever faced.

The Unquiet Dead author Ausma Zehanat Khan once again dazzles with a brilliant mystery woven into a profound and intimate story of humanity.

Ah. This book. What a read. I knew when I started it that it was one I needed to take time over, and take time I did. Set in a world of hatred, intolerance, suspicion and violence and against a backdrop of terrorism, Khattak and Getty are back in a case which could see them both in a perilous position. Family and loyalty are key themes in this marvelous follow up to The Unquiet Dead. You can catch up with my review in the highlights below and order a copy of the book here.

…

Death Rope – Leigh Russell

The new novel in the million-copy selling Detective Geraldine Steel series

‘UNMISSABLE’ – LEE CHILD * ‘A RARE TALENT’ – DAILY MAIL * ‘BRILLIANT’ – JEFFERY DEAVER

Mark Abbott is dead. His sister refuses to believe it was suicide, but only Detective Sergeant Geraldine Steel will listen.

When other members of Mark’s family disappear, Geraldine’s suspicions are confirmed.

Taking a risk, Geraldine finds herself confronted by an adversary deadlier than any she has faced before… Her boss Ian is close, but will he arrive in time to save her, or is this the end for Geraldine Steel?

Good lord this book. Murder, lies, secrets and double crossing in this book which sees Geraldine Steel pitted against a most savage killer. This had me guessing until the end and on the edge of my seat. Top read and another stunning entry in a brilliant series. I’ll be sharing my thoughts tomorrow as part of the blog tour but you can order a copy of the book here to get ahead of the game.

…

Do No Harm – LV Hay

Till death do us part…

After leaving her marriage to jealous, possessive oncologist Maxwell, Lily and her six-year-old son have a second chance at happiness with headteacher Sebastian. Kind but vulnerable, Sebastian is the polar opposite of Maxwell, and the perfect match for Lily. After a whirlwind romance, they marry, and that’s when things start to go wrong…

Maxwell returns to the scene, determined to win back his family, and events soon spiral out of control. Lily and Sebastian find themselves not only fighting for their relationship, but also their lives…

Chilling, dark and terrifying, Do No Harm is a taut psychological thriller and a study of obsession, from one of the most exciting new voices in crime fiction.

Twisted. That’s the only way I can think to describe this book. Twisted relationships, twisted minds and a truly twisted storyline which had me guessing and second guessing myself from start to finish. Fired through it in an afternoon and evening and the ending left me astounded. In a good way. Fabulous read and if you’d like to find out why you can order a copy here.

…

Kiss of Death – Paul Finch

Could this be the end for Heck?

The Sunday Times bestseller returns with an unforgettable crime thriller. Fans of MJ Arlidge and Stuart MacBride won’t be able to put this down.

Don’t let them catch you…

A Deadly Hunt DS ‘Heck’ Heckenburg has been tasked with retrieving one of the UK’s most wanted men. But the trail runs cold when Heck discovers a video tape showing the fugitive in a fight for his life. A fight he has no chance of winning.

A Dangerous Game Heck realises that there’s another player in this game of cat and mouse, and this time, they’ve not just caught the prize: they’ve made sure no one else ever does.

A Man Who Plays With Fire How far will Heck and his team go to protect some of the UK’s most brutal killers? And what price is he willing to pay?

Dang. This book. That ending. What a story. High stakes from the off this sees our favourite hero Heck tracking down a fugitive and not remotely prepared for what he is about to find. This book takes you on a real adventure where everything is at stake and my god, the ending will have you on the edge of your seat and then stuck in slack jawed shock. Top stuff and fans of the series are in for an absolute treat. You can order a copy of the book here.

…

The Affiar – Sheryl Browne

The moment she opened her eyes, she knew everything had changed. The stale taste of alcohol; her uneasy stomach. She looked at her husband sleeping peacefully, and knew she would never tell anyone what happened last night.

You will think you know what happened to Alicia that night.

You will see a desperate wife, lying to her husband.

You will watch a charming lover, trying to win her back.

You will judge her, just like everyone else.

You will assume you know what happens next. But everything you think you know about the past, the relationships, what drives Alicia and her husband to lie… is wrong.

If you loved The Girl on the Train, The Wife Between Us and The Sister, you’ll love this compelling and gripping psychological thriller from Sheryl Browne. The Affair will have you hooked from the very first page!

If I were to be honest, it is hard to know quite where to classify this book. it’s not quite domestic noir, more domestic drama or suspense, but if nothing else, it’s addictive. Raced through this in a day and while it’s not a story that will leave you guessing, it is powerful stuff. Those opening scenes nearly had me in tears. And the tension towards the end … A fab read. You can order a copy of the book here.

…

Not bad huh? Five books. Not sure I’ll do as well in the week to come as I have the beauty of Bute Noir to amuse me at the weekend but that does me a couple of long train journeys so who knows? Anything is possible. Blog was pretty busy too this week – recap below.

A Cold Flame by Aidan Conway

The Emperor of Shoes by Spencer Wise

Mini Review: No Time To Cry by James Oswald

Press Release: Bloody Scotland – Ashley Jensen appearing at this year’s Festival

Guest Post: Abby’s Promise by Rebekah Dodson

The Language of Secrets by Ausma Zehanat Khan

The Daughter of River Valley by Victoria Cornwall

This week sees me and Mandie buried under blog tours – happy days. Starting today with One Little Lie by Sam Carrington, we also have Death Rope by Leigh Russell, Her Name Was Rose by Claire Allan, My Very Italian Holiday by Sue Roberts, Murder By The Broads by Anthony Tamiozzo, Her Last Breath by Charlie Gallagher, Telegrams and Teacakes by Amy Miller and Murder on the Marshes by Clare Chase.

Not too bad, but it’s mostly Mandie’s hard work this week. Making her earn her keep so to speak. Or her books. Either or.

Have a fabulous week all. I am hoping for a nice sunny one up in Bute. If all else fails there will be cake and books. What more can a girl want?

See you on the other side.

Jen

Rewind, recap: Weekly update w/e 29/07/18 Thought long and hard about whether to write a post this week as I have done pretty much nothing of note.

[fattygraves]

Four men in one night

“He looks like a Star Wars version of a hobbit.” Oh, the sweet first thoughts of meeting an internet date. There he stood, three inches below me, beaming up like a blonde Patton Oswald. Oh my God there are nuns! No really.  I’m writing this under the El train, across from 7-eleven where I bought my altoids from a cashier named Darius who had printed out the name “Kobe Bryant” with a label-maker and posted it on his chest, and a group of nuns is crossing the street in front of me. It’s 10 PM. Wait, there are nun kids too.  Maybe they are Mennonites? I don’t know.

Anyway, my dinner date was fun, simple, and hard-working.  He had a crazy work ethic and totally understood my job because his job was practically identical, which is a nice change of pace.  He had a round stomach– the kind of roundness that was not just pudge, not just a pouch for extra cookies. No it was gloriously round, and God he just looked like a Star Wars fan through and through.

At the end of the night he insisted on continuing to walk with me, and I just couldn’t shake him politely. Of course I also wanted to do a convincing job of seeming interested because I couldn’t bear the idea of the face he would make when I said “no” or “go away” or something meaner.  Anyway we got to the end, we were going to part ways.  Well, we did part ways. And we hugged. I was hoping for that quick hovering hug you give to a person who is about to vomit. But, he held me close and he said “no friend zone” and kissed me.  I shit you not. I involuntarily said nooo with multiple o’s but still kissed him out of reflex but the poor guy was laughing awkwardly because of my “nooo” thing. So I kissed his teeth, and we abruptly walked away from each other like seventh graders.  I think he knew just as well as I did that that was the end.

Now I am walking to see Peter, the guy who picked me apart last night. I don’t want to go another Friday night alone.  I’d rather do it with an asshole than just be by myself again. I don’t know. Maybe a boring night with a boring ass is better than loneliness. Most things are. Even the worst things.

(Switching tenses again.)

“AHH. I was talking to this lady and you chased her off!” I’m in the station now, and a homeless man just tried to kiss me in the midst of my conversation with a subway drummer who looked equally homeless. (They had approximately the same number of missing teeth.) It hasn’t come to fists yet, but the screaming match is still escalating, and thank all things holy, my train is here. I have never had two men fight over me. It’s a nice feeling. Probably shouldn't be but that's all I can think, "oh wow. That's nice." Even if they are both homeless.

(Okay, back to past tense.)

I got off the train and walked down the street towards the burgundy awning that said “O'Neill’s” with font from the 90’s.  And when I was about to turn into the place, He (with a capital H) leaned over the patio railing and looked me straight in the eye.  Holy shit.  Tall, broad shouldered, tattooed muscles rippling under his shirt, messy dark Johnny Depp hair that you just wanna grab, chiseled jaw, and big blue drunken eyes.  "Hey hey hey,“ he said as he thrust his hand over the patio railing. I beamed and grabbed a hold of it (it was big and strong… ugh) expecting a handshake, but he spun me around like a girl in a goddamn musical.  A laugh just leapt out of me.  And this big handsome man had the kind of happy come over him that looks like melted butter.  Gabe.  That was his name. Gabe, the carpenter. Stunning and insecure. He was surprised to hear that I was in fact heading into the bar he was at for a date. But it was if he didn't hear that last part about it being a date. He stumbled over to Peter and I and tried to start an incredibly pathetic conversation, which I found endearing.  He was bleeding so beautifully there unaware of social lines. So drunk he thought I was prettier than I was. Gabe. What a name. Gabe the carpenter. What a fucking name. I made friends with Gabe’s friends, particularly Danielle, with whom I peed and laughed and talked boobs and boys. (She was part of his group and struggling to define her current flame.) I did a terrible job of hiding my attraction to Gabe. I am such an ass to Peter.  He really deserves so much more.  He’s so good, kind, smart, strong… so many things that I forget in the presence of a fiery young Gabe-like man.

All I could see was insecurity and posturing and simplicity when Peter talked on Friday. All I could see in his dumb friends was… Well, they were actually gorgeous to me & not dumb at all. But I left them after a couple hours and went to the train, fully intending to go home, because I just couldn’t keep being so distant from Peter.

Jose was on the train. He has that name because it was his Puerto Rican grandfather’s name. Slender and black and dreaded. Slim frame in a dated ill-fitting suit. A hustler from head to toe. A club promoter of a shitty club. He was headed to work on the train. I was headed home from bailing on Peter. Bleh. Peter is a terrible name compared to Gabe. Oh god, my hormones.

Anyway, Jose told me about his three jobs, hustling his way out of his origins. The hot dark-haired Ken doll of a man sitting across from us smiled but kept his distance. Jose invited me to jump the line at the club he was working, so of course I went. And we dirty-danced among the lazy bachelorettes and insecure divorcees. A gay man rejected my offer to dance on the grounds that he was gay. But I just wanted to dance with him. He was the only one who could do it in the whole place. Oh well. Se la vie.

At 12:17 or something like that, I left after I gave Jose my number. I loved the flirtation of the number exchange. I didn't particularly want to see him again.

Bored bored bored. I want to shoot holes through the wall and yell that word like Sherlock does. But I’m in the wrong neighborhood. Right city. Wrong neighborhood.

It’ll be a while before I find someone to love.  I’m hard to date. Workaholic, audacious, unflinching, cocky, flirtatious, judgmental, independent, confusing and just straight up mean. Goddammit… Peter handled my dismissal well. That’s essentially what it was.  He said, "come on” with a nod and I just said “Nah, I’m going to go to the train, maybe go dancing…” And as his friends looked at us open-mouthed and bewildered, we walked in separate directions.  He handles my everything well.  He’s genuinely one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met.  But, just like Benson, I find him irritating, boring, and wildly attractive in a constantly rotating cycle.  He deserves better than that. So much better.

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x04 - Re-watch Review

Preparing for Gotham’s return...

Fun fact: This was the first episode of Gotham I ever watched live. I caught up a few days before the episode aired. I remember the riddle rap promos and speculations.

The way that they state the kid’s name...it almost makes you think he is a significant character. Normally the throw away characters do not get such an introduction.

I feel bad for these two. They never stood a chance. Only serving the purpose of being murdered. 

Should have just taken the knife home instead. 

Love the Oswald collage and fanart wall Ed. Did you make it all yourself? Oswald would be touched. 

So, where did he get all these papers without anyone recognizing him in his overly discrete green suit? Did he steal some of them from Myrtle? Go to the local library? 

I just imagine Ed getting a pile of research and Oswald news from someone. They probably thought he was an obsessive fan. 

Was Ra’s just stalking Bruce this whole time? Does he not have other hobbies? What does Ra’s do in his spare time? 

I hope Harper doesn’t end up being the Pinkney of the season. I like her. 

“What’s so special about the knife?” Asks about five main characters in the last two episodes. 

Oswald stares intently at his beloved hat. I really want to know what he was thinking with such an intense stare. Probably something not fit for family audiences. 

“Knocking Victor!” What exactly were you doing Oswald that required knocking notice? 

I give Oswald credit for at least being suspicious of Sofia first. Too bad his hubris and emotions will get the best of him again. 

Sofia is good. Great at emotional acting and pretending to be innocent. 

If Jim can’t go to Penguin for intel, it must be up to Babs!

“You like this me better?” Calm Babs is going to end up being the mother of Batgirl soon, isn’t she? I see Jim being turned on by this.

Bruce, you are not very subtle. What happened to being discreet?

Jim is actually convincing Bruce to tell the truth...yeah, I believe Ben wrote this episode. 

I wonder how differently this all would have gone if Bruce told Jim about Ra’s sooner.

“how do you spell-” One of the best quotes of the entire episode. I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t know how to spell it either if I didn’t see it so often. Just don’t try to ask about pronunciations...that’s a whole different debate. 

Jim and Bruce team up! Always nice.

Riddle raps!!! I am trying to picture Ben writing all this. “Foe...know...lame brain. Genius work, Ben!” *high fives self because it is 3 AM and Morena is asleep*

Just when I think Ed can’t be more extra, he ALWAYS proves me wrong. What’s next? A glittery jacket and hat to match?

I know that there was singing fruit last season...but like...does Oswald know that this Ed is just Ed being Ed? It isn’t his brain damage doing all this stuff. He’s just this extra. 

Oswald looks so done with everything lol

This is Victor’s jam! I love it.  

Reference of the two Victors! I love this. Now when are they going to reference the two Harveys? Or are we pretending Dent doesn’t exist now?

I really want to know what Ed meant, if he didn’t mean the pier.

Poor kid. He really should have just been honest about the knife sooner, given it to Bruce, and went into hiding.

Awe missed opportunity for Bruce to show off more fighting skills. Bummer. 

 I didn’t know Ra’s was a Clark Kent fan. Love his cosplay.

Such a deep moment for Bruce...too bad it doesn’t end up meaning much.

“Weirdly cool”. I wish someone would call me that. All I get is “weird”.

Award for best subtle acting in this episode: Ra’s. I would say he is the most subtle (unsubtle) villain ever in this show but...we all know he’s not. 

Alfred, why?! Just because you think about punching someone, doesn’t mean you should! Wait, I forgot. This is Gotham. Most people act on violent impulses.

Nothing can restrain Alfred when it involves saving Bruce.

The lengths Sofia will go to bettering her game is astounding.

She’s trying to get in your head, Penguin. Don’t psych yourself out.

Well, to be fair, everyone has secrets in Gotham, Jim. You better than anyone know that you don’t always share everything.

Do you think if Alfred was allowed to go, he could have convinced Bruce to give up the knife? I don’t imagine he would but you never know...

I have a petition for more riddle raps. Oddly enough, Ed and the Riddler are the only two signatures on it so far. 

Oswald’s facial expressions are always such moods 

I am still kind of surprised Bruce denied Ra’s the knife. Was he expecting him to be bluffing? 

I feel like they would have shown the kid dying on screen if this was GoT.

Give him something to believe? Umm...do we really need to repeat everything you’ve seen in Gotham so far, Jim?

Angsty Bruce! No, anything but angsty Bruce!

The “here!” makes me laugh every time for some reason.

Actual children. 

“Your riddles suck!” Well, he’s not wrong.  

Wow, Ed looks so broken. Like his favorite toy (his mind) got taken away. 

Remember what Ed said Oswald? Gloating is one of your least attractive qualities...I’m just saying.

6 hours? Is that how long it took Ben to write the riddles?

You know, you could have just stolen the riddle from somewhere, Ed. The fact that he wanted the perfect riddle himself is amazing though.

“Yeah, I will!” “Uh no, you won’t!” A+ villain banter. Take notes kids. 

Oswald is totally done with death threats. He’s been through it all. He knows of his plot armor now. 

Oswald knows how to get under Ed’s skin and find what hurts him, doesn’t he? 

Really Ed? You weren’t expecting that he would try to freeze you again?

“Got it, same pose”. Why isn’t Freeze on here more often? 

It must be pretty bad if Ed is admitting defeat. 

Oswald - a guy who can look almost heartbroken and cocky at the same time. 

Jim and Sofia? Who would have foreseen this? :O 

Man, that was some fine glass, Jim! You better be paying for that. 

Over all: A decent episode. It had some good moments. Ed and Oswald reconnect, only for them to part ways and throw away the revenge plot. Sofia and Oswald meet, Sofia starts her manipulations. Jim finds out more about Ra’s, hooks up with Sofia. Bruce blames himself for the death of a nice kid, starting his angsty/angry path against Ra’s. He continues to keep the knife as Ra’s is arrested. 

Previous review: 4x03 Next: 4x05

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x09 - Re-Watch Review

Getting closer to catching up...Probably going to do these for weekly episodes too. 

Pyg donning those costumes. He must be fun on Halloween.

Poor homeless people...I thought you were all about the homeless, Pyg! Now you are just being hypocritical.

Being a hypocrite in Gotham? Crazy.

I imagine that pig mask must reek. Is it a real pig head? The question is directed toward the character, not the actual actor. 

Come on, Harvey. It was not meant to be personal.

Don’t you hate it when boyfriends fight?

Umm not necessarily, Harvey. Fish could have betrayed Falcone and ended up running things instead of him. You and Jim might have been arrested for Oswald's murder too. Lots of different possibilities if Jim killed Oswald. 

You know, deep down, Jim wouldn’t want Ozzie dead. He cares about him too much, you can see it with the way he is so desperate to bring him down and put him behind bars. 

Oswald: Not coming. Nope. No way. Have to investigate. Sofia's thoughts: Penguin isn't coming? Let me mention Martin. That'll change his mind. *mentions Martin* Oswald: Of course I will be there. Wouldn’t miss it!

Mr. Penn is more strategically smart than he's letting on. I’m telling you, he’s more of a mastermind than we all think and he will conquer Gotham next. Do not be fooled. Mr. Penn shall rise!!! 

Someone quiet...if only we knew someone Penguin could trust that fits that exact description.

Cervis is so amazing in this role. I will miss him. 

Well, I will never look at pigs the same way again... 

Seeing Pigs eat people...I do not know if it makes me feel better for eating bacon or more appalled. There is just something ironic about it.  

Alfred with his strict breakfast time. This is the one thing I disagree with you, Alfred. Can no one sleep in? Can you not have a brunch? What if he wanted breakfast food for dinner? You know that is actually a thing.

Bruce drinks coffee? Have we seen him drink coffee before?

Bruce is trying to find distractions for his feelings... I can relate. I mean, that is what fandoms are for, right? 

Let Alfred help you!! I feel like I have said this so many times that it has become my motto. 

It's always nice to see Harper out and about. Please keep her alive. 

Ouch! That stab looked like it hurt. Why Harper? Why???

Oswald helping Martin dress. How nice. Oswald probably learned tips from Elijah and Ed helping him dress. 

Well, Oswald isn't wrong when it comes to Sofia using the children. 

Oh gosh...the tear on Martin's cheek. Do not make him cry again!

Sofia clearly has the press wrapped around her finger. 

Jim is lucky that Foxy is there with such insight. Otherwise he would have to use Gotham's version of Google AKA looking through a bunch of books to find info like a cave man. Could take much longer.

So, is Pyg actually telling Sofia his plans? Is that what is actually happening here? 

I love hearing more about Alfred's past. They should really delve more in it for the show. 

Sometimes I forget how close Alfred was to Bruce's parents. It must have been so hard for him to lose them too...

Wow, Bruce. Alfred just tried to be personal with you...and you steal his car and leave him on the side of the road. Rude. 

Wait, I know Bruce is like 16 but can he drive? Or is there a cut scene where he runs into a tree, jumps out, and just starts running home? 

The matching suits for Oswald and Martin. Like father, like son. 

Jim, I don't recall you having an invitation to be there. Should have RSVP'd.

Oswald meeting Pyg. I love when villains have scenes together. 

Penguin just never catches a break with these dinners. Last year was the mad hatter, this year was Professor Pyg. What next? Condiment King for season 5?

"Is this another one of your plans?" Wow, Penguin guessed it initially. Should have gone with that instinct. 

Honestly, Oswald was right about each of his first thoughts on Sofia. It’s like when you take a test, fill in the right answer, but then second guess yourself then choose the wrong one. Always ends in failing.

Martin being full focus? It's like Pyg knew that Penguin loved him most... 

Pyg singing = the best ever. I love when villains be this extra. I want Pyg and Ed to have an extra off. 

So did Pyg find specifically named homeless people to fit the lyrics to the song? That would explain why he wasn’t in episode 8.

Oswald, you should be use to cannibalism and bodies cooked in food by now. 

This is pay back for when he did it to his step mother, isn't it? 

"But he's just an orphan" -- You're SO dead. 

Imagine cooking all those pies and at least two of them being wasted, uneaten. Pyg went through all the trouble to find homeless people, poison them, cut them up, bake them, and slaved over a hot oven for these pies!

RLT's acting on eating the pie...gosh, when he gagged, I wanted to gag too. 

Pretty sure there is an extended scene where Oswald critiques Pyg’s choice of baking. “Honestly, I would have baked the corpse to the point of crisp and added some flavor to it but that’s just me. I’ve tasted better.”

Jim saving the day, just in time before Sofia can eat a pie. I have to wonder if this was planned or was there even really a dead person in her pie to begin with? 

Wonder what would have happened if Jim just gave up. Would Pyg give up too? Try to kill him anyway?

I am still shocked that Harper is still alive after all this. 

"What you were going to do for Martin...that was real" Was it though??? 

Notice how Penguin agreed to abandon the licenses for Sofia...see, I still think he could have done it with Jim if Jim had just tried to just be his friend himself. Then Jim would ask, "Can you get rid of the licenses?" Oswald would say, "Sure, sure. Whatever you want. Want to get lunch now?" The end. Conflict over. 

"Bye bye piggy! Bye bye!" Gothamites giving intelligent responses to criminals when arrested. 

So, what did they say when Penguin got arrested? Were they just as original?  

First day as captain and he caught the Pyg? Almost as if someone planned it that way. 

I think I missed something. How did Alfred get back exactly? Did he hitch hike? Did he call an uber? 

Everyone being afraid of Alfred and just leaving. They know what’s up.

"Stop trying to be my father and be my butler. Clean this place up" Geez Bruce. He is trying to help you!!! I cannot wait until this moody faze is over. 

So, is Oswald near to tears because Sofia lied to him, Jim is betraying him, or Jim is taken yet again? 

Over all: Funny enough, there wasn’t much surprises in the episode when first watching. Despite this, it was an entertaining episode. It was mostly Pyg and Bruce/Alfred related stories. Professor Pyg was a very fun villain. Penguin and Martin grow closer. Penguin finds out Jim is involved with Sofia and Sofia is trying to bring Oswald down. Jim arrests Pyg, more respected as captain. Bruce keeps spiraling and becoming more a jerk to Alfred. Alfred tries to help Bruce through his moody teen faze. 

Previous Review: 4x08  Next: 4x10