#puppet: aoyun

[disastersteps]

' Can we trust each other? '

[starwhispcrs]

3. which muse is the trickiest to get into character for? & 13. what’s a weird headcanon you have for each of your muses?

@itsacriime // multimuse asks !!

3. which muse is the trickiest to get into character for?

it's a tie between aoyun and kyungmin !! out of the four who are currently aware, those two are the most cosmic. aoyun is especially difficult to get into his mindset solely because of the way he talks, which is confusing and vague more than it isn't. kyungmin gives me a run for my money when getting into his mindset too, if only because, while he speaks more like every day people, he treads a very fine line between cosmicness and humanness that i try to portray in his actions and thoughts and reactions.

13. what's a weird headcanon you have for each of your muses?

gonna throw these under a read more to save space !

JIWON is the only one to remember every single past life ! he is completely unaware that he’s the only one to remember, but he hopes these memories help more than they hinder.

YOUNGSOO got his tattoo while tipsy ! he knows getting inked while under the influence of alcohol is bad because blood thinning and all that, but it was the only way he could sit still long enough to get it.

JUNSEO is oddly passionate about mixed drinks - as in, if drunk enough, he can and will go on a tirade about how certain mixers don't go as well with certain alcohols, and how he can definitely be a bartender who does it right.

AOYUN dreams of the other twelve ! he doesn’t realize that those dreams are about his kin spread across the globe, thinks they’re memories of their lives before or wishful dreams of them meeting again.

HOJIN can recite the entirety of some studio ghibli films by heart ! though he doesn’t drink except for social events and celebrations, get a couple in him and you’ll find him quoting those movies !

KYUNGMIN is self taught in cooking ! every recipe he has perfected was through his own trial and error, his own determination to perfect it. it’s a hobby not many people are aware of, as it’s one of his subtler ways of showing love and appreciation for people.

HOSUNG can’t drive ! equal parts because he grew up a rich kid with a personal chauffeur, and equal parts because, by the time he truly became independent, his chronic night terrors were so bad that he didn’t trust himself behind the wheel.

DAEHO yearns for the simplicity and awe from before ! when he first became aware, it was something exciting, amazing, unreal. now, because he is terribly alone separated from the others, he thinks it a damnation and a crutch more than anything.

MINJUN is ridiculously good at shadow puppets & voice mimicry ! he spent his free time in the orphanage entertaining himself, as he was rarely asked to be seen by potential parents, and those are two hobbies he taught himself.

CHUNYU is always bruised up ! when he’s really in his element, taking countless pictures, he loses awareness and spatial perception, to the point he’ll start bumping into every little thing and only become aware of it when the bruises start hurting.

KWANGSU actually really loves amusement parks and rollercoasters ! something about being in a socially acceptable situation where he can scream his head off without being judged is... very cathartic.

HYUNJUN has a shellfish allergy ! which he only learned because a friend in high school brought bugs to try. that was the wildest way to learn he can't eat shellfish - and yes, he will still try to eat some shellfish.

INSU has a mobile game that he’s been playing for two years now ! it’s one of those turn-based, fantasy rpgs, and it’s one of the little things in his life that he allows himself to enjoy.

[disastersteps]

Been thinking about how Anita's sense of humanity only started to slowly show up as Aoyun the more they spend time with Mortum and Ortega, and in the progress, begun to dislike being Aoyun and wanting to be themself with them. So like!

In general, Sidestep, by default, had acted- pretend to be someone- had followed social cues and blending in to fit in due to being a Cuckoo (and having autism). But how is their sense of humanity?

It was obviously torn away by Heartbreak, and since this is a very Outsider scar focused- it is the most very 'out of touch with world/humanity' sense.

...That is Anita's Outsider scar.

So what exactly slowly but surely regain their sense of humanity and the slow increase in empathy. ( In 2019, Anita was a very blue step- high empathy back in the day. But now, when I had revamped them- it made sense their empathy would've been torn away, along with their newfound humanity they had spent a few years building only to be taken by Heartbreak. It's why I'm slowly trying to get their ruthless and daring a little higher this time around- it made sense especially with what happened to default Sidestep. So was Anita. )

Now, onto the puppet situation. I knew I talked about this many times, and I will talk about it. Mostly bc chances is I had thoughts that might be different now than before, or it's still the same but I get to expand on it further.

--

Anita treated Aoyun as a disguise- it is essentially just them in their business mode- facade, even. It was probably what caught Mortum's interest, what had Ortega had noticed. Anita had no idea about that.

What Anita knew is that Aoyun... She is a extension of themself- she's simply them. So any action, any talk she talks, anything about her? It's very much Anita. At this point, Anita had stopped pretending to be someone- and is themself just with a different name to avoid being recognized. This is also before they started to notice something's up with the body at that point.

Which unfortunately is what lead Julia Ortega to find Anita Lee in the diner that day.

That sudden discovery of seeing Anita from Ortega is what start the wrench to their running gears- the domino effect that is about to kick.

Because of Julia, Anita have to look back to their own background. One they had made so long ago- one they're forced to confront that they missed being Sidestep.

So sense of humanity? Because of how deep they dug themself into looking the history- even had that sidestep gallery destroyed. Even the 'meet-cute' Anita as Aoyun had with Julia had forced Anita to take this as a chance to keep a eye n her. They then had drop the facade of a business person and decided that maybe, just maybe, they need allies seeing as Julia had begun to be noisy (to them.)- Mortum was the first step.

( Not that they will know that months later, Mortum had became something more to them )

The fact Anita was keeping a eye on Julia AND getting to know Mortum as Aoyun is what backfired them as they begun to slowly realize they... still love Julia despite the old crush they had buried so long ago, and that they had begun to enjoy Mortum's company.

Julia is a memory, and Mortum is a reminder.

Memory- because the past, the long for what it used to be, the way it still clicked despite years and the "death".

Reminder- because she makes them feel more like a person- a real person than ever.

they thought these two things cannot brought back because it was torn away by the Heartbreak but two people, they had spend a lot with as Aoyun, brought these back.

Anita's sense of humanity, and Anita's needs to be themself with these two. But what a fool, what a idiot, what a ass, they are still using Aoyun. The only shield.

And of course, it had been broken now.

Anita's sense of humanity was formed because they were being Aoyun- who doesn't have telepathy and Anita relies on their own thoughts, their choices and their trust in these two people. And these people bring these aspects (memories and reminder) that it make Anita feel more human.

They just want to be Anita Lee.

Not Aoyun.

[disastersteps]

i don't think i hadn't talk about aoyun, anita's puppet, in a long time

(when i did my replay for rebirth a while back, i used a male puppet and named him james 'cause originally i was going to have anita realizing they like being masculine but. changed plans because anita went transmasc waaaay earlier as sidestep instead of present times. damn u neets.), but also because i want to see the consequences of the retribution to the next one so baddddd LET ME SEEEEE-

anyway. aoyun.

the earliest iteration i had of anita's puppet was named Yasmin (one of the default names) but i chose Aoyun because of its meaning!

She's... meant to be opposite of Anita, but it is still very Anita at the core. Anita feel like it's still like being themself, and it didn't help that being friends with Ortega as Aoyun made them painfully missed being themself with her, which didn't help with their secret crush LMAO also, because of ortega's friendship, it didn't help that anita also started to care about Mortum as themself, not as Aoyun.

Anita originally thought of Aoyun as a tool, as a informat, and using their formerly experiences as a Farm cuckoo who used to be a charming woman back in the older days at the start of rebirth, but grown to care about this puppet enough that they were planning to leave her in the best healthcare they could find. they were going to, at least, leave her comfortable.

she deserves a good place rather than the place they first found her (which. i want to know-)

but they can't stop being Aoyun, it was the only way to feel happy with Julia- to feel like when they used to be Sidestep and always chatty and rolling their eyes with her. That's why it was so hard to leave her behind.

beside they still need contacts and more information a little more soooo yeah.

And yes, they never sent Aoyun there to HG.

(which is when I saw that ending sO YEAH.)