#questn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rip-headphones-users · 26 days ago

Text

2 Point Perspective Ch3: Let Yourself Feel Weak

AN: Hey guys whats up whats good. So for some fucking reason Ao3 HATES me and wants me to DIE and has not been letting me post 2point for some unknown reason. So I’m posting it here on tumblr dot com my favorite website instead because it’s pride month and I need people to read it. I need people to peep the horrors. Also yes the chapter title IS another fragment of a GILT lyric. I probably should be posting this in 2 parts. Idk man. Happy Pride month or something.

A deadline was approaching. Kasper was sitting at his computer scouring the regretevator’s files, looking for any inconsistencies that stood out to him. He knew he needed a certain amount of bug fixes by the end of the week. His father made that abundantly clear as he had been continuously grilling him on his lack of progress every time he did see him. He would go out and streamline things for enhancing performance, but that would require he actually go out and test floors for himself, and he really did not have the money to spend on that many floor tickets just to test and retest to make sure it was running the simulation correctly as he repeatedly died. Granted, Builderman preferred the term “Forcing a Reset”- but Kasper figured it best that he call it as is. It’s just dying, over and over.

Of everything he was in control over, Kasper wasn’t allowed to touch the behavior of other NPCs, including himself. He had to wonder then, if there was a bug in his own code that gave him this call of the void. Not even that, there was probably something wrong with him in there that made him outright suicidal. The other possibility that he was just sort of hard-wired to be this way and forced to cope with it unsettled him, and genuinely he hated thinking about it. He resented that his dad didn’t have the time or resources to go fix it himself.

Though seeing as he had long since moved on to other projects, it was more so that Builderman straight up couldn’t go in there and do it anymore. Understandably though, doing something like that on his own would probably give Kasper some weird messed up crisis. Outright deleting himself would more than likely have dire consequences on the games function as a whole, and he wasn’t about going in and fucking up the lives of literally everyone he’s technically in charge of. Would it be fair to refer to Kasper as a demigod? … maybe.

Kasper’s hands dug into his hair, absentmindedly tugging at his outgrown roots. Every drag on the scroll wheel felt as if he were trying to run through a nightmare, horribly slow as a singular beast approached from seemingly every direction he turned, the dread only consuming him further. A few rapid notification pings drew his attention quickly, allowing himself to get distracted.

PartyHardy111: Haiiiii

PartyHardy111: Kassssssss

PartyHardy111: Kaspurrrrrrrrrrr

PartyHardy111: U Awak???

FriendlyGhost: POOB!!! :D

PartyHardy111: AKSPWER HI HI HI HAI HAIIII <:DDDDD

FriendlyGhost: Wutz up bru??? OuO

PartyHardy111: IIIII Hav a questn for uuuuuu <:3

FriendlyGhost: Shoot! ^-^

PartyHardy111: APPARENTLY

PartyHardy111: Da lite ov ur life stepped on tha ‘vator absolutey GLOWING.

PartyHardy111: mah pestest friend in tha whoooolllle wide world tolddd meh <;p

FriendlyGhost: Pest told u??? ,’:0

PartyHardy111: YUPPPPP

PartyHardy111: But he said itt more like a (imagine big meen meanie pest voice <>:() “That stupid lampshade wouldn’t turn his brightness down the entire ride here, that idiot was smiling so bright I thought I was gonna get a migraine. What’s he so happy for? He never does that.” an den sum stuff in his beetle language that idk what it wuz lol prolly swear wordzzzz <xD

FriendlyGhost: 0///0?!

PartyHardy111: I gotsta kno!!! Wai is he so fulla da whimsy!!!??? <:3

Of course this would come back to bite him in the ass. Kasper let out a long, drawn out sigh before standing up, and slamming his forehead against the wall a few times. What The Hell. He growled to himself under his breath, “Thanks, Lampert, for the fucking subtlety.” He might as well delete himself right now. Well, no use lying to Poob, their ability wasn’t exactly derived from the meta like his was. Kasper made a search, ‘Is it possible to fully delete characters that have already been implemented into a game?’

FriendlyGhost: k so ofc u kno how Lampert likeeeeeee

FriendlyGhost: LIKE likes me???

PartyHardy111: Neva hear da end of it wen I c himmmm LMAOOO!

That was news to him. Results on his search bar were… inconclusive. Nothing about deletion, which made sense, he wasn’t even allowed. But maybe… he could find a workaround…

FriendlyGhost: So, he came over 2 check on me n shit, yea?

FriendlyGhost: Cause ya know he b worried 4 nothin.

PartyHardy111: <:0 o u good bud???

FriendlyGhost: yea yea dw dw ^^”

FriendlyGhost: He helped me with a tunnn of stuff n like?

PartyHardy111: okokok caus I don’t wantt u 2 b a friendlyyy ghostttttt <XDDDD

FriendlyGhost: ISRHBFEIHRFBYEIRBBSKDJBCKJ LITERALLY STFU!!! XD

FriendlyGhost: N-E-WAY. -_-

Kasper made a search, ‘accidentally overwriting preexisting characters in a game?’

FriendlyGhost: I took him out for icecream and we had a really good time. -u-

PartyHardy111: is dat it??? <‘,:3

FriendlyGhost: I… totally kissed him. By accident.

PartyHardy111: DOOD???

Kasper made a search, ‘most common file corruptions’. Now this? This was a little more conclusive. Ways to fix files, different kinds of corruptions, and different ways files can get corrupted. His eyes led him to something interesting… chainmail viruses… Ransomware. If he could perhaps isolate a virus to his own file…

PartyHardy111: literally y don u 2 jus start dating???

FriendlyGhost: cause idk if that’ll be good 4 either of us… :(

PartyHardy111: u are in top 10 biggest denial EVARRR!!!

FriendlyGhost: but he has like

FriendlyGhost: SOOOOO much goin 4 him

FriendlyGhost: and like I just…

FriendlyGhost: idk. I’d drag him down.

PartyHardy111: <:,[ I feel dat

FriendlyGhost: I’m sorry 4 bein all venty n shi but like

FriendlyGhost: idk I just don’t think I’m worth that effort?

FriendlyGhost: idk what he sees in me.

PartyHardy111: Kas…

FriendlyGhost: Lampert is my best friend, yk? Idk if I would be able to live with myself if I fucked it up.

Kasper made a search, ‘What happens to someone if their file gets overwritten?’.

FriendlyGhost: that being said, the second time wus on purpose B)

PartyHardy: WATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ??? <:000000000

Kasper found something. A new website had been added to his bookmarks.

Poptart laid curled up and purring on Kasper’s lap as he sat quietly on the floor in the darkness of his bedroom. His ceiling fan hummed idly above him, tussling his bangs just enough to make him aware of the airflow. His phone rang for probably the seventh time that night, letting each call go straight to voicemail. He knew at least one had to be from Poob, which he would normally pick up but didn’t feel like getting his ear talked off for the next hour (especially at the information he just dropped on them). Another from Builderman, who more than likely called him by mistake, at best Kasper would usually get an email from him, anyway. The rest… he hoped weren’t from Lampert. They probably were if he had to hazard a guess.

Doing his best not to disturb the cat, Kasper reached for his phone and flipped it open. Three new messages. Well, at least only two of them were from Lampert. He listened to Poob’s voicemail first.

There was some rustling behind the speaker before he heard them yell “Hey! Gimme mah phone back!!!” Followed by the blow of a party horn. The gravel of Pest’s voice came out of the other end.

“You. Kasper. You need to be aware that what you said caused this freak to elbow me hard in the ribs with their excitement. Expect the favor to be returned.” More rustling, and a chittering growl as what he could only assume was the sound of Poob reclaiming their phone could be heard through several bumps against the speaker.

“Sorry!!!” They squeaked, “Pest- do NOT elbow Kaspe-” and… that’s when that line went dead. Kasper stifled a laugh, fully unexpecting to have Pest say something to him, of all people. Even if that was a threat.

Kasper then readied himself, mentally preparing for Lampert’s voicemails. The first began, and Lampert sounded… nervous of all things. “Hey Kasper, uh- it’s me. I was wondering if you’d like to hang out again some more tomorrow? You don’t have to call it a date if you really don’t wanna, I mean- not that I’m asking you out on a date, or that I’m calling it a date. But… yesterday was really nice, and I can’t stop thinking about- hah, I’m sorry, I sound like a moron right now. Hold on.”

The first voicemail ended, and the second one started up. “Hey Kasper, It’s me. I think we should probably hang out again tomorrow. I know you’re probably nervous about whether or not I’d see it as a date, but if you don’t want it to be, that’s fine! I just wanna hang with you, and we can take it at your pace. If something’s bothering you, you know you can always talk to me. I…I really care about you, ya know? And I want to be there for you as best I can… Kasper, I uhh…” The second voicemail ended. And seconds later, a third voicemail from Lampert popped up.

“Hey Kasper, sorry- hopefully you’re listening to this one first, uhh- ignore those last two. Delete them, actually. Or I don’t know- call me back when you get this and I’ll delete them myself, hahah… Anyway, I wanted to ask- but like, whatever since you aren’t picking up… but I’m gonna come over tomorrow and we’re gonna hang out. I don’t care if you’re embarrassed about what happened earlier, cause like… obviously I’ve been losing sleep over it too, just thinking about it. I know you’re scared of this sort of thing, and I get it, but… I really want to be there for you Kasper.”

There was an intermission of silence as the dread began to stir within his chest again, it was almost as if Lampert was waiting for a response from him on his end, despite the message being pre-recorded over the course of listening to the last few minutes. It sounded as if there was a pen scratching against paper on the other end, Lampert either live-journaling or scripting himself for this voicemail… he wouldn’t be surprised if he had a list of bullet points, actually.

“I know you’ve been shouldering a lot, dude. And… I want you to not have to be alone through that. I want you to talk- uh, I want you to be able to talk to me about this. I… I really don’t care if it’s supposed to be confidential- you’re clearly suffering and it’s… it’s really hard to watch. I hate feeling like I’m just on the sidelines not able to do anything while you go through all this, Kas.”

Another pause.

“I just… I want to tell you… that you mean a lot to me. Genuinely. I love you, Kasper.”

He snapped his phone shut, that- no matter the sentiment- was genuinely hard for him to hear. It was a real question that he had, as much as he hated thinking about it. That he might actually mean something to other people. Well, at least his room was clean for Lampert’s visit… not that he actually put in the effort behind that.

Poptart rubbed her face against his, getting his attention with a “mmrp” before jumping off his lap and rubbing her body against the door. Kasper stands, following her outside of his room as she trots into the kitchen, looking behind her to see if he was following. He sighs, and looks into the living room where Unpleasant now lounged on the floor, playing its DS.

“UG- you fed Poptart while I was out, right?” Kasper asks, knowing he’s not gonna get a useful answer.

It huffs, morphing in a way that would appear to have it kicking its legs in the air. “The fuck do ya think I am? That's your job to feed your fatass cat, idiot.”

Kasper groans in annoyance as he takes a can of wet food out of the fridge, and steps around Poptart as she curls around his legs. “She is NOT fat,” He chimes back, “and I don’t know- maybe you could stand to help out around here. No wonder dad sent you here to live with me, you’re insufferable”

“Kinda in the name, don’t you think?” It shrugs, and rapidly opens and closes the DS as Mario repeatedly goes ‘buh-bye!’

Wet food falls into the dish, and Poptart immediately starts scarfing it down. “Gah- why do I even bother talking to you.”

There's a brief moment of silence before Unpleasant says something.

“Yo, who do you think dad hates more, me or yo-“

“Shut the hell up.”

Lampert fidgets with a tiny keychain of bottled hand-sanitizer, anxious to make his way onto Kasper’s floor. He debates getting a floor ticket as he takes a wipe from his bag, dabs it in sanitizer, and begins wiping down the floor buttons. He wouldn’t be opposed to just accidentally pressing the ticket button… and while the menu flashes onto the screen, he wouldn’t be opposed to just looking at the feed from just outside Kasper’s door… and checking to see if there is a change in the price… okay he might as well just buy a floor ticket while nobody else is in here. Not that he’s gonna bother anyone with an extra stop… and… oh- that’s the door closing the entrance to Kasper’s apartment.

Lampert rushes to slap the elevator’s open door button, and practically topples inside. Well, at least he didn’t have to buy a floor ticket, he figures, as he enters the apartment. He can’t help but wonder to himself, ‘Does Kas ever lock this place?’ As he moves through the apartment, he practically dodges Unpleasant Gradient, opting to find Kasper on his own instead of making the mistake of asking.

The lamp opens the bedroom door gently, illuminating the dark room around him with the warm glow of his bulb. There is Kasper, once again sleeping soundly having shoved himself into a corner of his bed. The sight makes his bulb grow brighter for just a moment, before he represses it entirely. He walks silently over to the corner and just watches Kasper sleep, placing his bag next to him, filled with wipes, plasticware, and two containers of takeout he had picked up from Rokea before leaving. He watches as Kasper’s chest rises and falls, the cool surrounding air becoming warmed just from the pass through his lungs.

He can’t help but wonder how it would feel, to breathe like that. Or perhaps even to be something so fleeting as a breath as it is taken. Simply just to exist as air, inhaled and exhaled. What would it be like to be drawn into a pair of lungs? To have your very essence be warmed? To provide such sustenance that allows someone to continue living off of the oxygen you hold? It must be as exhausting as it is comforting. A routine as key to a continued survival as it is thankless. Nearly every breath taken is taken for granted, provided that someone isn’t in a state of asphyxiation.

Lampert shoves the train of thought out of his mind- placing a large dab of the clear sanitizer and rubbing it between his hands, wiping the excess onto his lampshade while thinking to himself ‘No, stop that’.

It’s absurd, almost- the amount of restraint Lampert held when it came to Kasper. Normal people didn’t think about their friends like that… and yet.

He grazed his hand along where Kasper had kissed him.

No- no… that would be asking for too much. He’s just a lamp. He’s just a lamp.

He couldn’t tell how long it had been until Kasper had begun to stir awake again, but he found himself waking up as well when Kasper reached over and yanked the pull chain of the lamp on his bedside table. Kasper gasped at Lampert with a startled look, eyes wide- though this was a common enough circumstance for Lampert to just be standing there in his room as Kasper slept.

“Dude-” Kasper inhaled sharply “you could have at least called me to let me know you were here!” He spoke through a raspy morning voice. “I’da woke up!”

Lampert smiled, “yeah whatever man, I brought breakfast. Or lunch. Or whatever you want to call it.” He lifted up his bag, “It’s just some meatballs and stuff from Rokea, nothing special.”

“Yo momma meatball.” Kasper grumbled (knowing full well he was talking to the guy who had two dads made out of completely inanimate material) as he flung the blanket off of himself.

Lampert quickly averted his eyes the moment they made contact with Kasper’s bare chest, his lightbulb flickering as soon as he realized he didn’t have a shirt. He heard Kasper stifle a laugh as he got up, opening a drawer to pull on a layered shirt. Long sleeves as usual. “Shut up�� Lampert hissed, crossing his arms as he faced the other way, more drawers opening and shutting as Kasper presumably continued to get changed behind him.

Kasper tapped Lampert’s shoulder when he finished, “you done being nervous?” He asked teasingly, waiting for Lampert to turn back around.

“Oh?! Says the guy who kissed me and ran away about it- what was that about?” Lampert huffed, watching as Kasper’s face turned red.

“L-listen…”

“Nah dude, we’re gonna sit, we are gonna eat, and we are gonna talk about your problems because I am tired of you just dancing around your issues.” His tone comes off more confrontational than it's intended to be, watching as Kasper backs up from his intimidation. Lampert promptly sits on the middle of the floor, opening his bag to reveal the two (slightly cold) takeout containers and setting them in front of him. “Get down here.”

Kasper blinks rapidly, “can I at least get a drink…?” To which Lampert pulls out a bottle of water and a can of bloxy cola. He sighs, and takes a seat across from Lampert.

Lampert looks Kasper in the eyes, his gaze a little harsh. “Look Kas, you wanna get better, right?” To which he nods sheepishly. “Then you have to talk to me.” Lampert explains. “I don’t care if you love me like that- well… obviously I do care, but you are my best friend, first and foremost.”

“Lampert I…”

“Hey- let me finish, just focus on eating.” Lampert pauses him. “I don’t think you know how hard it is, having to watch you not take care of yourself, Kas. When I offer to help you, and I can help you- it’s hardly an issue, then you deny me at every turn until I basically force you to let me help you. Not talking about it isn’t going to make this go away, you know that?”

Kasper nods, swallowing his food before speaking up again. “Lampert, I legitimately do not know if I am allowed to talk about it.” He says, watching as Lampert’s gaze barely shifts away from his face, only reading a twinge of frustration. “Plus, I genuinely don’t know if you can handle the information.”

“Well I want to know!” Lampert shouts unintentionally before catching himself.

Kasper looks up at him with surprise, craning his neck as he sits hunched over his food, almost guarding it with his arms. “It’s… about my job.” He finally admits.

“I didn’t know you had a job?”

“… well you’re not supposed to.”

Contemplative silence hangs between the two of them, lingering for a few minutes as the two of them eat. Lampert looks up at him from his meal, wondering “Is there anyone who’s supposed to know?”

“Only unpleasant.” He shrugs, twirling the fork between his fingers. “But uh- if I tell you, like. Just the basics of this. You promise you won’t freak out on me, right? Or uh. Go around telling anyone else?”

“I swear.”

Kasper sighs, pushing away the weight of his cosmic insignificance. “Let me… phrase this as a bunch of questions, okay?”

“Sure thing.” Lampert leans forward intently, his tail flickering with intrigue.

“Have you noticed anything… weird, about Rokea? Like you swear certain displays looked just slightly different last you saw them, or that for some reason the legs of a chair seem to be uneven, so as you pick it up to fix it, you could pull the chair out of the floor… without leaving a hole in the ground? Or leaned back onto a wall just a little too hard and without realizing you’ve ended up on the floor?”

Lampert nods, eyes flickering with subtle small realizations of things that he thought was supposed to be normal, but never openly spoke of.

“Or you’re on the regretevator, and you’re about to fall to your death but you manage to cling to the wall and suddenly… you’re standing with your feet firmly planted? Or you get impaled by a spike and instead of dying you seem to be completely unharmed? Or you’re forced to play one of those game floors and you phase partially through the solid floor instead of falling as it disappears? Or that suddenly you see so much more detail in the environment around you that you never noticed before?”

“I thought… that I was going insane…”

“No, you aren’t.” Kasper says quietly, reaching out and taking Lampert’s hand in his. His brow furrows as he averts his gaze. “I’m the one who is in charge of fixing all of that.”

“Wow… so you’re like… in charge of everyone’s life then?” Lampert asks, his motor whirring as he tries to process the implications.

Kasper clicks his tongue, sighing before telling him “no- well… yes, But it’s more like I’m in charge of making sure everyone dies correctly.” He says. “And walks correctly, and talks with the right people in the right way, and makes everything look the way it should…” he trails off. “It… doesn’t feel right having people even try to know. It’s…”

“It’s a burden, isn’t it?” Lampert sits silently again, squeezing his hand a little tighter. Now he understood why Kasper struggled with this underlying sense of futility in everything he did. “Have… you ever had to fix me? Like in the way you would fix something else like that?”

Kasper looks at him, and closes his takeout box, placing the fork inside and moving it away from himself. “Well, things involving you.” He says, “I’m not really allowed to fix you directly.” When Lampert does the same, Kasper moves in closer to Lampert. “Besides… I wouldn’t wanna fix you anyway.”

Lampert’s face lights up as Kasper grabs his other hand and just holds it. Kasper moves quickly to shut off the smaller lamp on his dresser, allowing Lampert to illuminate the room himself.

Kasper continues, “I’m scared cause like… what if I make a mistake and end up hurting so many people? Not even a what if- I have by accident. Several times… and none of them remember or even realize that it’s my fault… I’m scared it’ll all suddenly be permanent.”

“Have you hurt me before?” Lampert asks.

Kasper doesn’t want to answer.

Lampert wraps his arms around Kasper’s chest, pulling him in and resting his head on his shoulder. “I’m not gonna be mad, Kas.”

“I care about you Lampert, but…”

“So you feel guilty, then?”

Kasper nods, sniffling as he buries his face into Lampert’s sweater.

“You’re just doing your job, listen to me. I’m here… I’m here and I’m fine.”

“I just… it’s so scary and I’m scared I’m gonna keep fucking up, and I’d… I’d rather just…” Kasper’s voice begins to tremble, and Lampert quietly strokes his hair with one hand, using the other to grab a wipe from his bag to place between himself and Kasper’s nose, preemptively holding it to his face before snot begins to rain down onto his sweater. Kasper takes the tissue and rubs it against his face, discarding it off to the side.

“…Is it bad that I want to remove myself from this entirely?” He asks, almost as if he was trying to get some kind of permission from Lampert as he lifted his face, looking into the warm light emanating from his lampshade.

Lampert frowns, “Like- quitting your job?”

Silence from Kasper.

“Like… like quitting your job, right?” He asks again, more panic seeping into his voice. Kasper just slumps against him now, digging his fingers into the knit of the sweater. “Kasper- Kasper please I need you to elaborate, I need you to explain, I need you to tell me. Just…”

Lampert pauses, wrapping his arms even tighter around Kasper now. His own metal fingers pushing into Kasper’s sides. “…Don’t remove yourself from me.” he begs, pulling him even closer still, letting his lampshade rest on top of Kasper’s head. Hoping with everything in him that through the glow he surrounded him with, he would be able to feel even just a fraction of the comfort that he wanted Kasper to experience. Hoping that his hope alone could somehow manifest physically, and make him feel just a little more okay. Hoping that maybe… he could absorb that pain into himself, and hold that burden, splitting between themselves, so that Kasper’s life would hurt a little less. He could handle it, his body isn’t living- his body could just be discarded if it couldn’t handle the pain. Kasper’s wasn’t. Kasper-

“I don’t think you understand the implications of what I mean, Lampert.” Kasper sighed, just allowing Lampert to move him as he continued to rest against him, at this point no longer caring about the fact that Lampert was holding him like this- he just needed to be held. He could literally feel Lampert getting warmer the second he used his name. If Lampert wasn’t so hopelessly in love with Kasper, he figured that this information would have certainly come to his lips so much easier.

“I want to.” said Lampert, who was resolute in his desire to help him.

Kasper felt as his throat squeezed closed with anxiety, a tear trickling down his face as he tried to muster his voice to speak once more.

What the fuck, it’s not like Lampert was going to remember this anyway. At least for as long as Kasper had a say about it.

He’ll worry about that later.

Lampert wiped away the tear from Kasper’s cheek, gently allowing his hand to rest on the side of the young man’s face. His soft squishy skin melted into the touch, holding still as Lampert leaned in and kissed the opposite cheek. (The best he could, anyway, he did have a lampshade for a face after all.) Kasper sobbed even harder, now, attempting to choke up the words.

Lampert should never have to remember things like this. It’s for his own good.

“This isn’t real.” Kasper whispers between sobbing gasps for air. “None of this will ever be real.” It’s vague, but honest. Lampert might as well have never kissed him, or even be here with him right now, but that’s not the notion he’s trying to drive home currently. “It’s… it’s all this stupid fucking elevator. That’s all it’ll ever be.”

He waits for Lampert’s question of ‘what do you mean?’, but it never comes. Instead he shifts slightly, giving himself room to look Kasper in the eye. He seems more contemplative, casting his gaze a way for a few seconds before telling him “I know what you’re talking about.”

Kasper feels his heart drop in his chest when Lampert says this, twisting, aching, wondering- how long could he have known? How long has he been failing for? Why didn’t Lampert tell him sooner? Lampert clearly notices his expression trembling with guilt and fear, and moves him back into his arms, motor whirring as he realized he had to explain something as well.

“There’s this thing I do,” he starts, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. “You know when I choose a new lamp to inhabit It just looks like a flash of light? And how that light is uh… that’s my ‘me’?” He states, feeling awkward in his wording. “Well sometimes I just… walk around like that. Usually when I feel overwhelmed by everything surrounding me and having to feel things, or when I… I want to be close to something, but am too scared to touch it...”

“…Then I can move through walls, and the floor, and just… I keep walking. Sometimes I go, and I go, and inevitably the world loops back round before you even know it. Except obviously it’s not the world, all it is, is just a single set of a few rooms with a bunch of random objects sitting around outside of it. That's all it is...”

“…Is that what you mean?”

Kasper nods. “Yeah. Yeah that’s what I mean.” Close enough to it, anyway.

The silence between them is more comfortable now at least, as Lampert leans against the side of Kasper’s bed, stroking his hair gently as Kasper lay against Lampert’s chest, still crying- but not fighting it anymore at the very least. Kasper would occasionally move to blow his nose, Lampert not necessarily bothered by the building pile of tissue at their side. This was more important. He feels Kasper’s body relax in his arms, and kisses him again on the top of his head. It just… held right to do, he supposed. Only to be surprised when Kasper moved upwards, kissing Lampert on the lampshade for a few seconds before handing Lampert a hand wipe, just in case, but still making Lampert smile and glow bashfully. Kasper then returned to his resting spot right on Lampert’s chest, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

He keeps his head firmly planted where it currently is, and doesn't move as he speaks. “I- umm… I just want you to know… that I didn’t want to tell you cause I thought you’d be worried, or that it would upset you.”

“Yeah?”

“…And that I do love you? Right? It’s just that… ya know- with the position I’m in…”

“It’s hard to justify?”

“Yeah, like… Like ethically.”

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know… I just… hate how that’s the answer.

For a long time, the two of them just stayed sitting there like that, Kasper unsure if he would, or even could ever get to kiss him again.

It was midnight, and Kasper sat on the edge of the bed as Lampert slept soundly. It had taken hours of back and forth conversation between the two of them to get Kasper to calm down, but those hours were long enough to prevent Lampert from returning to Rokea. Kasper suggested what he knew to do best, and offered that Lampert might as well stay the night- to which he almost immediately got to work changing and washing Kasper’s bedsheets completely unprompted.

Kasper sat there, watching him briefly as he lay on his side in complete stillness, the only indication of life being the occasional dull flickering of his bulb accompanying brief bouts of mumbling in his dreams. He thought about all the times that Lampert would just stand there, doing this to him as well. There was something to be said about that amount of focus that Kasper simply did not possess for himself. It’s not that he wasn’t comfortable sleeping next to Lampert. In fact, it was really the opposite. It just felt right, as he laid there having the most peaceful sleep he felt he had in weeks. Unfortunately for him, what felt good and right wasn’t necessarily what he felt was deserved in many cases. So he stood up, leaving the room and Lampert. There was work that needed to be done tonight.

It’s another night spent sitting at that stupid, slow ass, ancient hunk of junk that was his PC. Though tonight it’s not necessarily combined with thoughts of self destruction as was typical. It seemed tonight that Kasper would trail away from his work, consumed by thoughts of Lampert. He wanted to go back to bed, and nudge Lampert awake until he was just conscious enough to shift into a position where Kasper could hold onto him, and let the heat from his robotic frame seep into his chest. That wouldn’t be fair for either of them, though.

A new email notification popped up about five minutes after Kasper booted up his computer, headliner reading “0p3n Mii : D!!!”

Yeah, no. He deleted that. He didn’t need some stupid junkmail clogging up his inbox right now. Much like Lampert was clogging up his stupid brain. He had to wonder, why hadn’t Lampert told him he could traverse through no-bounds before? That idea alone made him heavily consider not just going into the game’s autosave and just… deleting the last few hours worth of safe data from the entire world, leaving the only evidence to be his own memory that he had done it. Obviously he’d never tell Lampert that he could even do something like that, and if he did, he’d delete that too.

But this no-bounds thing… that would actually help Kasper with his job, funnily enough. Assuming Lampert wanted to help, that is. That would save Kasper having to “force a reset” on himself more than he would ever usually need to, especially having someone who could look beyond the confines of their small world and tell him exactly what he needed to fix. He could get so much done- maybe his dad would finally…

… would Builderman even care?

Kasper sat as he blankly stared at the unopened files, another pop-up for an email titled “0p3n Mii!!! :)” which he once again promptly deleted fifteen minutes after the first one.

Sighing, Kasper thought to himself that no- it couldn’t just be as simple as having Lampert do all that. After all, Lampert didn’t even know he had a job prior to today. Not only that- Lampert had work, and responsibilities of his own to take care of back in Rokea.

Kasper opened his browser the second after a third email showed up in his inbox, taking a sticky note and jotting down the web domain of the website he found earlier: “ScarieztPrankzNHaxxerz.com” figuring that might have been the source of those stupid emails, and promptly blocking it. He’d investigate further, in his own free time tomorrow probably, if he didn’t forget.

Whatever, man. Trying to delete himself was probably a idiotic thing to do, anyway.

Kasper reopened his email, figuring that he might as well just check and see if he had received any bug reports since last he checked. Feeling his stomach lurch when he saw over 50 new notifications.

“0p3n Mii!!! XD”

#this was supposed to go on ao3 #WHATEVER MAN!!!!#regretevator #regretevator fanart #regretevator infected #regretevator lampert #regretevator kasper #art #lampert #infected regretevator #kasper regretevator #skaterlight #Two Point Perspective AU #monotoneheadphones #tw sui ideation

110 notes · View notes