#quite literally woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and banged my head against the wall

[dreamlandbarnes]

looking at keeley / looking at jamie

[keanureevesisbae]

But professor… - c.4

Summary: Penny is going to see her professor for the first time again after they kissed.

Professor!Walter Marshall x Penny Townsend (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 5.1k

Warnings: Thunderstorms (?)

Masterlist // But professor… masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

The next day it’s time for my criminology class, the first one I’ll have after our kiss. I haven’t spoken to Walter since the kiss, because a) it was literally yesterday and b) after I told him I was going to bed, I actually went to bed and fell asleep.

To make matters even worse, our meeting isn’t even gonna be in a private setting.

It’s in lecture hall setting.

Despite me falling asleep not long after I arrived home, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back to sleep. Since I was hungry, I decided to have some late night snacks, but I am incapable of eating normally, because I totally spilled some sauce on Walter’s sweater.

In other words: I had a little early morning laundry moment.

With Walter’s sweater neatly folded in my backpack, I take a deep breath for some encouragement, as I walk into the lecture hall. There are already around ten other students in their seats and Walter sits on the edge of his table, as he reads through his notes. He looks up, but his expression barely changes. Emphasis on barely. There is a slight shift in his eyes, but it’s hardly noticeable if you don’t know him that well. ‘Morning, miss Townsend.’

Like nothing ever happened between us.

‘Good morning, sir,’ I say, before walking up to my assigned seat. I should not let out a sigh of relief, but I still do. I tell myself I shouldn’t be this nervous, however it’s an impossible task. My leg moves up and down in a restless pace and my jaw is painfully clenched.

I try my best, but it is out of question to focus on the entire class. Thankfully, Walter must’ve noticed that my brain is everywhere but in this class, because he doesn’t call out my name once. For the first time in forever I don’t have any questions about the assignment, so when a few other students hang around after class, I manage to sneak passed them and make my way to the library.

My brain really is malfunctioning, because I keep staring at my screen, unable to do anything slightly productive. I look into my backpack, to see Walter’s sweater. About an hour has passed and maybe… Maybe I could bring it to him now?

I grab my phone and decide to just send him a text. I can take the first step after yesterday, right? I’m a big girl.

Me: Can I come over to your office now?

I don’t get an answer straight away, which is only fueling up the doubt that has been brewing inside my heart. Not quite the big girl after all.

What if he thought this was a mistake? Oh shit, the kiss was terrible, he hated it and I should therefore never ever kiss again!

My breathing stops when I see his answer.

Walter: Of course, princess 💕

I swallow hard. This is a good sign, right? The heart emoji and the nickname that led me to internally screaming all night indicate he didn’t think the kiss was terrible, what we did wasn’t a mistake and that we should totally kiss again.

Right?

The hallways are empty, as a lot of people are already back at their dorms due to the bad weather that is forecasted for later today. Normally, I would do the same, but I think I lingered around campus, so I had a chance of talking to Walter. I walk towards his office and knock on his door. I hear a deep and annoyed: ‘Come in’ and I take it as my cue to open the door.

‘Hello,’ I say, ‘you sure I can come in?’

He looks up from his desk and smiles. Small crowfeet appearing near the corners of his eyes, a tiny bit of evidence that he is genuinely happy to see me. ‘Of course Penny,’ he says, standing up from his seat. He walks towards the corner of his office, lifting some stuff up,  to reveal a chair. He places it on the other side of his desk. ‘Please, take a seat,’ he says, holding out his hand.

All of this trouble for me? ‘I wasn’t planning on staying long.’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ he says, waiting for me to take place on the chair and I quickly do so. When he sits on his own chair again, he asks: ‘How are you?’

That’s such a sweet and darling question of him. ‘I’m okay. I just came by to give you your sweater back.’ I pull it out of my bag and say: ‘Thank you for lending it to me.’

He nods. ‘Of course.’

‘I washed it,’ I add, ‘since I kinda dropped some hot sauce on it. I hope you like my laundry detergent.’

I hand it over the table to him and he presses his nose against the fabric. ‘It smells great, thanks.’

I smile at him, since I can’t really stop it. He is so different around me, then he is when he’s a professor. There is no annoyance, no boredom. Only adoration if I’m correct. It feels good to be on the receiving end of it. ‘That was all actually. For once I don’t have questions.’

‘I see,’ Walter says. ‘You got a lot of work to do?’

I shake my head. ‘No, not really. Just your class.’

He chuckles. ‘I’m sorry about that.’

‘Don’t worry about it. Anyways, I should go. I have a few things I have to pick up from the grocery store anyway. Forgot some things yesterday,’ I say.

Walter nods. ‘Of course.’ While I said I should go, I can’t seem to stand up. Walter tilts his head and asks: ‘What’s wrong, princess?’

‘Nothing,’ I whisper.

‘Is it… The kiss?’ he carefully asks. ‘Because if it is, I have to apologize. I was crossing multiple lines with that.’

I shake my head. ‘No, Walter, don’t worry about it. I enjoyed it. It’s just… It was my first kiss.’

His eyes enlarge, nearly rolling out of his sockets. The surprised emotion is one I haven’t seen with him in real life. I actually thought nothing could startle him. ‘Your first kiss?’ he repeats. A few seconds pass by slowly as he runs his fingers through his disheveled curls. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

I shrug again. ‘I don’t know. It didn’t seem relevant.’

He sighs. ‘I’m so sorry, princess.’

‘There is nothing to worry about. If it makes you feel any better, I’m glad this was my first kiss.’

He leans back in his seat. ‘Penelope Townsend,’ he says, with a slight smile on his lips. ‘You’re quite something.’

Oh shit, he uses my full name. That… That can’t be good, right? Panic is taking over and I quickly say: ‘I really have to go.’ I grab my backpack and shoot out of his little office space, not even waiting for him to say something.

My brain is fried.

On autopilot, I managed to find my way to the grocery store, where I buy more instant noodles. I don’t know why, but I even grab some hair products for Walter. It’s getting ridiculous that I’m actually going to buy this, but on the other hand, he told me I could help him out with those slightly dry locks of his.

I spend little to no time in my dorm, because I am unable to stop thinking about Walter. I shouldn’t have left like that, I think to myself. He now must think I don’t like him, when in reality: I like him a lot.

As I am pacing through the room, nearly ripping out my hair out of pure frustration, I hear the rain against the window. It’s mild,  especially if you compare it to the forecasted weather. I check my weather app and realize that with this type thunderstorm, I really don’t want to be alone here.

Without even thinking about the pros and cons of this plan, I pack some stuff I need and when I walk outside, the bus to his place is thankfully already there. The clouds are turning a darker shade of grey, as I’m hopelessly walking around the block after I got off the bus. My sense of direction is severely lacking and it takes me awhile before I even see his building.

It starts to pour and I turn into a shivering mess. By the time I’m at his door and knocked on it, I realize that I should’ve called.

This, Penelope Townsend, was a very poorly thought out plan. This is terribly rude and there is no turning back now. Oh no, what if he thinks that—

‘Hey,’ Walter says when he opens the door and smiles as he notices it’s me. ‘What are you doing here, princess?’

He doesn’t seem mad, that is a good sign. ‘I am terribly sorry, Walter, I really shouldn’t be here. I don’t know why I’m here even. Okay, I do know, because I don’t want to be alone with this weather, but I should’ve at least called you. I mean, you probably aren’t even in the mood to deal with me, which is totally understandable. I’m so sorry, please forget this ever happened and I’ll just go.’

‘Don’t be silly,’ he says, holding my wrist tightly in his large hand, not allowing me to leave. ‘Come in.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I’m very sure. They say it’s gonna be shitty weather anyway and I’d hate if you had to go back. Besides, you’re soaking wet.’

‘You really sure I’m not bothering you?’ I ask, as he gently pulls me inside, still unsure whether or not I’m welcome.

‘Positive.’ He helps me out of my coat and tells me I can change in the bathroom. He grabs some of his own clothing and hands it to me. ‘Now, I’m gonna tidy up in here a bit,’ he says, ‘because I left some crime scene pictures around.’

I smile as I grab the clothing. ‘I should’ve called,’ I try to sort of apologize again, but he is having none of it.

‘Nonsense,’ he says, ‘you don’t have to call. You are always welcome here.’ He places his hand on my cheek, before pressing a soft kiss on my forehead. ‘Besides, I’m glad you’re here. I kinda missed you.’

I let out a chuckle. ‘Walter, I’m sorry I left your office. I was freaking out.’

‘I know,’ he says. Of course he knew. ‘It’s okay, Penny.’

‘It is?’

He nods. ‘Now get changed, you’re freezing.’

✎ ✎ ✎

After I changed into some of his clothing and hung my own clothes over the heater, I walk back into the living room, only to see him preparing some dinner in the kitchen.

That is such a domestic move.

‘Thank you for letting me stay here,’ I say, causing him to look over his shoulder. ‘I’m not great with this kind of weather.’

‘Figured,’ he chuckles. ‘You’re afraid?’

‘No,’ I answer, as I walk up to the counter. ‘Absolutely not.’ Almost on cue, a loud bang of thunder fills the room, causing me to yelp. ‘Okay, maybe a little.’

Walter starts to laugh. When I’m within arm reach of him, he lifts me up on the counter like I weigh nothing to him. ‘Sit still and be pretty, okay?’

I frown. ‘How am I supposed to be pretty?’

‘By being yourself,’ he says, ‘and smile at me from time to time. Seems doable, right?’

‘I can try,’ I say, a smile already appearing on my face. ‘What are you making?’

‘Some pasta,’ he answers. ‘You like that?’

‘I do,’ I say, pushing my glasses better on my nose. ‘I really do. Especially when someone else makes it. Don’t you have that, when someone else makes the food, it automatically tastes better?’

He shakes his head. ‘No, I don’t.’

Leave it to him to be an exception. ‘Why not?’

‘I like making my own food,’ he says.

‘Hm.’ I lean my head back against the cupboard. ‘I really can’t cook well,’ I admit. ‘My mom was always the one that would make my meals back home. I’m a disaster in the kitchen, hence the reason I live on ramen, which I can easily screw up as well.’

Walter smiles, placing one hand on my leg, as he holds a wooden spoon to stir the sauce. ‘Here, taste this,’ he says, grabbing a string of pasta and blows on it so it can cool off a bit. He brings it to my lips and it’s such an automatic move to place my hand on his wrist.

‘It’s good,’ I say.

‘I’ll grab a plate for you. How about you get comfortable on the couch?’

I jump off the counter and walk towards the living room area. His couch looks kinda dull, in a beige tint that reminds me of my grandma’s wardrobe, but don’t be fooled: it’s the most comfortable thing I’ve ever sat on. I grab a blanket and place it over my lap.

Walter joins me, handing me the plate with pasta and sits next to me. It only takes a second, before I flinch as the thunder is now accompanied by lighting. ‘You’re so easily scared,’ he snickers. Without me doing it on purpose, I scoot closer to him. I know he cannot  psychically protect me against it, but not being alone with weather like this, is a relief itself. ‘Careful, princess,’ he says, ‘it’s hot.’

As we eat in silence, I keep thinking about what I can say to him. ‘I brought some hair stuff with me,’ I say. ‘Bought some today.’

‘For me?’

I nod. ‘For you,’ I confirm. ‘Maybe you want to use it.’

‘Or you use it on me,’ he says. ‘I have no idea what I’m doing anyway.’

As I finish the pasta (which was delicious), he takes the plate from my hands and places it on the coffee table next to his own empty plate. ‘Come here,’ he says, pulling me closer in his warm and protective arms.

I wonder whether or not it’s odd that I’m this comfortable with him this soon. I usually have a warm up period of at least a few weeks when I meet new people. When I worked in a cafe back in Japan during my gap year, it took me a month before I wasn’t painfully shy with some of my coworkers.

But with Walter, I am still shy and sometimes a bit awkward, but it doesn’t feel unpleasant. It’s like he understands and is patient with me.

I place my legs over his and hold his hand in both of mine. My fingers trace over his knuckles, where I notice some slight scarring. ‘How did you get this one?’

‘Bar fight,’ he says, ‘before I joined the academy.’

‘You were that type of guy?’

Walter doesn’t say anything and when I look up, I see he is not even looking at me. He is staring at the window. ‘Yeah, something like that. In case you wondered: he kinda asked for it.’

There is so much I want to ask him. What he was like when he grew up. What he thought of the academy. Interesting cases he solved.

However, a loud bang brutally interrupts my thoughts. At the exact same time, the lights shut off. My breathing stops. Oh no, a power cut? I’m so glad I’m not in my dorm alone. I might’ve called Walter crying, ask him to risk his life so he could pick me up.

Good thing I’m already here.

‘Great,’ he mumbles, turning on the flashlight on his phone. ‘There isn’t much I can do,’ he says, ‘except wait for it to come back. You want me to light some candles?’

I hate the dark this much, that I quickly say” ‘Please.’

He stands up, but I hold on tightly to his hand. ‘What’s wrong, princess?’

‘Can I walk with you?’

‘Of course.’ His fingers lace through mine and together we walk around his loft, looking for the candles and a lighter. We scatter them around the apartment and it gives a soft  and warm ambiance, one that is slightly misplaced here in his loft. I can unclench my jaw from the painful grip and Walter pulls me back on the couch.

‘Did you feel awkward?’ I ask him. ‘In class today?’

He shakes his head. ‘But I know you did.’

I purse my lips together, as I feel completely caught. ‘Was I that obvious?’

‘Not to others, but to me you were.’

‘I’m sorry.’

He shakes his head. ‘Don’t apologize for that. I just wished I knew what I could do for you to feel less awkward about it.’

I shrug. ‘I don’t know. Never thought my first… Whatever we have, would have to be in secret.’

He sighs, clearly agreeing with me. ‘I wish I could show you off,’ he says. ‘Wish I could tell Fitzgerald to stop ogling you.’

‘He doesn’t do that,’ I say.

Walter scoffs. ‘He totally does. It’s not even subtle anymore.’

I place my head against his chest, melting in his arms. I close my eyes, as I enjoy being engulfed in the warmness and protectiveness of his embrace.

No one has ever held me like this before.

‘Walter, why me?’

‘What?’ he asks.

‘Why are you even paying attention to me? I’m such a nobody.’

‘You’re not a nobody,’ Walter retorts. ‘I like you, Penny. You have an ethereal beauty, combined with an adorable and kind nature. It’s so rare to meet someone like you. I see that there is so much potential in you, no matter what you choose later on in life. It’s just that you don’t know it yet, which is such a shame really. Besides, princess, I’m not risking my job for simply anyone.’

As much as him being my professor should turn me away from it all, should make me walk towards the door and not associate myself with him anymore, I don’t feel that way. Part of me wants to hide my smile, but I can’t. ‘I kinda like you too.’

‘Just kinda?’ he asks, pretending to be offended. ‘What can I do to change that?’

I smile. ‘Kiss me again.’

He doesn’t answer, simply leaning towards me to press his soft lips on mine. One of hands squeezes my thigh, as I wrap my arms around his neck. It feels so good to kiss him. ‘Can’t believe yesterday was your first kiss,’ he whispers against my lips. ‘You’re quite talented, princess.’

‘I just follow your lead. I think that says more about your kissing skills than mine.’

‘Knew you were an excellent student.’

✎ ✎ ✎

The lights aren’t restored by the time I grow more and more tired. It’s Walter actually that tells me to go to bed. When I’m tucked away underneath the blankets in just his thick sweater, he sits on the edge of the bed. ‘I want you to be honest,’ he says in a stern voice. ‘Do you want me to sleep here or on the couch?’

It’s a sweet thing of him to ask, especially since it did cross my mind a few times. I grab his hand, my thumb caressing his knuckles. ‘I don’t know,’ I whisper.

‘Why are you hesitating?’

‘Because… I don’t want you to think I’m a prude or anything.’

He smiles. ‘Princess, I can sleep on the couch. Don’t worry.’

I blink my eyes a few times, slightly nervous. ‘You don’t mind?’

‘Of course not. Just call for me when you need me, okay?’

‘Okay.’

He gives me a quick and loving kiss on my lips. Checking with me one last time, he carefully makes his way back to the living room. While I can hear him making himself comfortable on the couch, I roll around the bed. There is an inability of mine to fall asleep, something I barely encounter. There is this annoying, but also terrifying ticking like sound  against the window and I can’t wrap my mind around it what exactly makes that noise.

The thunder and lightening are dominating the skies and my state of mind.

‘Walter?’ I finally ask him, after rolling around, being all ears and incapable of falling asleep for at least an hour. It takes only a few seconds before he walks into the bedroom. His hair is disheveled and he looks like a sleepy owl in a cartoon. It’s adorable, a word I never expected to use to describe him.

‘What’s wrong, princess?’ he asks me.

‘What is that noise?’

‘Just the water and a branch. It usually taps against the window from time to time.’

‘Oh, okay,’ I whisper. ‘Sorry to wake you.’

‘Don’t be,’ he says. He leans against the doorframe. Despite it being dark, I can still see the contours of his large body. ‘You seem wide awake.’

‘I am,’ I admit. ‘It’s just that I can’t sleep. There is too much noise here I don’t know.’

‘Want me to join you?’

I nod, only to realize he might not be able to see it. ‘Please.’

He walks over to the bed and gets in underneath the covers. I can already feel his warm body heat closer to mine and I hold my breath. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Walter chuckles. ‘It’s just me.’

I can’t stop being “ridiculous”. I mean, I am completely overstepping all sorts of boundaries. I mean, I’m in my professors loft. The same professor who I kissed. Whose clothes I’m wearing.

Who I’m severely falling for.

Walter holds out his arm and I turn to my side, nuzzling against his warm frame. He only wears a simple shirt and a pair of boxers. ‘Why are you shivering?’

‘I’m a little scared.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s just all those new sounds and a different bed,’ I mumble. ‘I don’t know.’

‘You have nothing to worry about,’ he says. I place my chin on his chest. As my eyes get used the dark, I can sort of see more of his face. I don’t have my glasses on, so it stay slightly blurry. ‘Nothing is gonna happen to you now, princess,’ he continues to say. ‘Not when I’m here.’

I smile. ‘I know,’ I say. ‘It’s just all so new to me.’

‘Yet you adapt perfectly fine.’

I bite my bottom lip. ‘Really?’

‘Really.’ He places his hand on my cheek and leans a bit forward, planting a soft kiss on my lips. It’s not my plan to deepen the kiss, but when someone’s lips taste this good, of course I don’t mind deepening it. His teeth slowly sink into my bottom lip, careful not to hurt me.

When he lets go of me, his hot breath tickles my already sensitive lips. Walter presses a kiss on my nose and whispers: ‘Go to sleep, princess. You seem tired.’

‘I am,’ I chuckle. ‘Quite the detective you are.’

✎ ✎ ✎

The next morning when I wake up, I’m still engulfed in Walter’s arms. He looks so innocent and vulnerable when he sleeps. His hand has slipped underneath my shirt, his warm palm on my back. For a second, my mind wanders to a time where it’s more than this. More than just a hand on my bare back.

It’s about him seeing me naked, him touching me and whispering sweet nothings in my ears.

It doesn’t take long for Walter to wake up as well and he smiles when he sees I’m already up. ‘I don’t mind waking up like this,’ he admits. ‘Seeing your beautiful face first thing in the morning is a lovely surprise.’

Don’t blush, Penny. Don’t you dare blush.

‘Give me a kiss, princess,’ he says.

‘I haven’t brushed my teeth yet,’ I mumble.

‘Doesn’t matter to me.’ He leans in to give me a gentle peck on my lips, followed by a few more. I giggle against him, as his fingers softly—and probably unintentionally—tickle my sides. ‘I’ll go see if the power is back on,’ he says. ‘Want something to eat?’

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘Doesn’t really matter what.’

Walter kisses me one more time, before he gets up out of bed. It doesn’t take long before I slip out of the bed as well, putting on some socks and sweatpants.

This morning is the prime example of how a domestic couple behaves. I always envied my parents, for being able to find the love of their lives, living according to a certain routine with one another. I remember sitting at the dinner table, watching them dancing in the kitchen as mom would make dinner. I remember sitting in the backseat, hearing my parents sing along with the radio.

They have always been outgoing people, in complete contrast to me. Mom always comforted me telling me that one day I would find my soulmate. Dad always told me that the so called soulmate had to be approved by him.

I wonder what would happen if they found out I met Walter. It’s way too early to think about that, but my brain isn’t stopping this thought process. Especially when Walter lifts me up the counter. When he presses mindless kisses on my forehead. When he lets me use some of the products on his hair. He smiles when I massage his scalp as I’m washing his hair over the stink and use the conditioner on his dry hair.

It’s great to see Walter with his guard a bit down. Allowing me to see who he is hiding when he’s teaching and maybe when he was at work as a detective as well. His touches are soft, are kind and not once is he overstepping. He carefully reads me and my body language.

But at one point, I realize that it’s time for me to go back. My mom used to say to leave a party when it’s still fun, instead of waiting for the awkward moment where you are practically forced to leave after you overstayed.

With his curls nice dried and less frizzy, he drives me back towards the train station and the parking lot and the station itself are almost vacant. People are probably still hiding inside their houses, not wanting to deal with the aftermath of the storm yet.

‘I hate that I have to drop you off here,’ he admits. ‘You have to walk for a while. Wait, I have an idea, you call me as you walk towards your dorm. I’ll leave here when I know you’re safe and sound in your room, okay?’

‘You really don’t have to do that,’ I chuckle. ‘I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.’

‘I know that,’ he says, ‘but I care a little too much about you. I don’t want anything to happen, okay?’

It’s nice to be taken care of like this. I could get used to this. ‘Okay,’ I say, before I give him a kiss. ‘I’ll miss you.’

‘I’ll miss you too, princess.’ He pulls out his phone and says: ‘I’ll call you in a second.’

A second truly is a second, because my phone rings when I close the door. ‘Really?’ I ask him as I pick up the phone, still being able to see him.

‘Yes, really.’

I wave at him, as I walk towards the dormitory building, which is about a ten minute walk. ‘You have a cute walk,’ he says, when I’m out of sight for him. ‘There’s almost a little skip in it.’

‘Way to make me more self conscious than I already was.’

‘Ah, princess,’ he says, ‘don’t be like that. You have nothing to be self conscious about. You’re beautiful, you’re cute and you are the sweetest thing alive.’

‘Don’t say stuff like that. I’m blushing.’

I can hear his chuckles from the other side of the line. ‘Where are you now?’

‘I can see the dorms already. You really want me to call you until I’m in my room?’

‘Yes.’

I can’t argue with that determination. While I simply chat to him about the damage done by the storm, I see Fitzgerald near the entrance. Great, I really can’t use this now.

‘There she is,’ he says, when I open the door and walk passed him to get inside.

‘Is that who I think it is?’ Walter asks me.

‘Yes.’

‘He does that often?’

Correct me if I’m wrong, but he sounds kinda possessive. ‘Sometimes.’

‘Sugar plum,’ Fitzgerald says as he follows me inside. ‘I have a question for you.’

‘I’m on the phone,’ I tell him, hoping it’s enough for him to get lost. ‘Can’t really wait.’

It seems like he didn’t pick up on the underlying no in my answer. ‘Where have you been?’ Fitzgerald asks me.

My mouth grows dry. Does he know? Have Walter and I not been subtle enough? Oh my gosh, Fitzgerald totally knows. Do not start hyperventilate, stay calm, Penny. ‘Ask him if he’s stalking you,’ I hear Walter’s soft tone in my ear.

That seems doable. ‘You stalking me?’

He must be surprised that those words roll out of my mouth. I mean, I didn’t expect them from me either. ‘No, just wondering. Saw you getting on a bus after class.’

‘He really is stalking you,’ Walter says in my ear.

‘Sounds like you’re stalking me after all.’ Oh my goodness, Penny! What on earth is happening? I don’t know if I was supposed to repeat that.

Fitzgerald is flabbergasted to say the least and he actually walks away. Did I just do that? ‘He’s gone,’ I whisper.

‘That’s my girl,’ Walter chuckles. ‘Proud of you, princess. Asshole really doesn’t take no for an answer. I am tempted to fail him for my class.’

I start to laugh, as I make my way to my dorm. ‘You don’t have to do that.’

‘I hate his guts.’

‘Don’t use the word hate,’ I scold him. ‘Instead, use the word despise.’

‘Not with him, I won’t.’

I quickly walk up the stairs and let out a deep sigh when I’m back in my own dorm. ‘I arrived safe and sound in my room,’ I tell him. ‘Thank you for letting me stay over at your place. I really don’t do well in thunderstorms.’

‘Of course,’ he says, and I can almost hear the grin in his voice. ‘Can’t have you alone during a power cut. Also, it’s quite nice not to be alone.’

A certain vulnerability I was not expecting from him, let alone over the phone. ‘It sure was,’ I agree.

‘I’ll call you later,’ he tells me.

‘Alright, of course.’

‘Take care, princess.’

[fluffypeachwriting]

Hitoya deserves love, can i request senario when a fem so is upset because she saw a woman (works with Hitoya in office) clinging to him like a leach and reader, please make it from angst to fluff

I don’t know if the ending counts as fluff, but it’s still a happy ending ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ I hope I can do Hitoya justice as he can be kinda hard to write for, especially with angst, which isn’t my forte as of now  (シ_ _)シ This was a fun writing experience though, and I’m happy to get your request!

Either way, I hope you enjoy, and I’m sorry you had to wait so long for this  (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

A new employee at Hitoya’s law firm seemed to take a liking to your boyfriend. It started with a few flirty lines, and nothing more. Hitoya never responded to them, and that was fine. He probably didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. The whole situation was easy to brush it off in the beginning, since you were well aware of how attractive Hitoya was, and that anyone could be under his spell.

The woman in question knew about your relationship with Hitoya too. The two of you weren’t super affectionate in public, especially at work, but she definitely saw the way you lovingly looked at him when he brought you a coffee and some cake during your shift, and the way he softly smiled back at you. After all, she sat right across from you. She would wait a few minutes, tapping her nails on the table, and eventually get up to go to his office. Then, after purposefully leaving the door just open enough for you to see, she would perch on his desk and laugh at every word he said, putting her fingertips to her lips in a faux-shy kind of way. The sight made your heart leap up your throat and thump in your ears.

The worst part was that she was pretty cute, looks wise. If you didn’t know anything about her personality, you would have compared her to the sexy love interest option in an anime. She made office wear look good, and you never saw her look undignified. Sometimes she leaned towards a femme fatale-type. That idea was constantly reinforced every time she placed her hand on Hitoya’s arm, playfully swatting at him when he got grouchy, and batted her eyelashes when she wanted something from him.

If she was doing this to literally any other person in the office – hell, some people there would kill to have this woman dote on them – you would probably find it funny. Her attempts at ‘seducing’ him were bordering on comical.

This whole charade wasn’t private. The office was getting annoyed too. Not by you, of course. The woman was pretty good at her little admin job, so any chance of getting her out of the office relied on her stepping over the line with Hitoya.

Hitoya continued to ignore this woman, but he never shooed her away or told her to stop. There was a tiny voice in the back of your mind, whispering nasty ideas into your head – the possibility that Hitoya was actually enjoying this attention couldn’t be shaken off.

One night, as you were both in bed, you rolled over and asked: “Hitoya, do you love only me?”

He replied, without turning to face you: “Hn? ‘Course, whaddya mean?”

“I just… the new girl at work is kinda clingy with you. Can you tell her to knock it off?”

“She’s not hurting anyone.”

You sat up in bed and rested your hands in your lap, hesitant to look at Hitoya. “Wait, so you’re gonna defend her? But she’s clearly into you. She knows we’re a thing and… please just tell her to quit it.”

There was a momentary silence, and in the dark room you could almost see the woman in front of you, doing her typical sly giggle. Maybe she had already won.

“You’re worrying over nothing. Go to sleep, you’re probably stressed and tired. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

But it had been many mornings since this all began. The clock read 9:45pm. It was too late to go out for fresh air now, and you had work in the morning.

“Okay, goodnight.” You laid back down in bed and laid on your side, facing away from your partner.

“Goodnight.”

You bit your lip to stop yourself from crying, and waited until you could hear Hitoya’s light snoring before feeling relaxed enough to fall asleep.

The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. There was a note on your bedside table – Hitoya had gone to work early to prep for a few new prospect hires visiting.

Phew! Maybe that woman wouldn’t have to opportunity to bother him today.

Maybe today would be the start of some normality: with everyone keeping an eye on the visitors, most people wouldn’t be too keen on messing around. As you made some food and coffee, you updated yourself on the work group chat. There wasn’t much of it that concerned you, but seeing people’s elaborate excuses on why they couldn’t come in was amusing. That is, until you saw a message from that woman.

There was a selfie of her in the conference room, with Hitoya in the back, occupied with some papers, with the caption: ‘About to teach some newbies what’s up! Kya ahahaha!’

It was hard not to throw up your breakfast. Getting dressed was a struggle, since you wanted to punch every surface in the room.

They were alone in a room, without you. She could be saying god knows what to him, well aware that you wouldn’t be in for at least another hour.

Rushing to get ready and go to the office was an option, but what good would it do?

All you could picture was Hitoya staring down at you, as you burst through the door, dishevelled from rushing there, chiding you for imagining what you said this woman was doing.

When you came to your senses, you were in the office, bursting through the door, just as you didn’t want to do.

“Hey, Boss?” The receptionist said, looking concerned.

“…Yeah? Where’s Hitoya? And why’d you call me ‘Boss’?”

“You’re basically also our boss too. And I dunno where Boss Boss is but, are you okay? Are you like, super tired?” The receptionist gestured to his clothes, implying that something was wrong with yours.

And there was. Because you were not in your work clothes at all. You had come to the office in a hoodie and sweatpants. In your rush to get ready, you had forgotten about looking presentable.

“Oh shit.”

“Hey, Boss. I know it was an accident, if you slip out and come back soon, I’ll just tell people there was traffic. I got your back.”

“Thanks.” You sighed, thankful that someone was on your side for once.

Right as you turned to leave, a piercing laugh came from the conference room entrance. One that was all too recognisable.

‘Of course she had to see this. Just my luck,’ you thought.

Her heels click-clacked as she came closer.

“Oh sweetie, this is just too much! You think that just because you’re banging the Boss man you can show up in whatever clothes you want? What a pathetic little weirdo…” She looked at the receptionist for agreement but he had turned around in second-hand embarrassment.

You were too miserable to try and act polite to her. You’d had enough. All of that jealously that had been bubbling inside you for what felt like years had finally spilled over.

“Why don’t you keep your nose out of our business for once!? You know we’re in a relationship, so why don’t you just fuck off and leave him alone!? If you’re gonna try and sleep around at least go for single people, you freak!” As you raised your voice, tears started streaming down your face. You didn’t care that it made you look even more of a mess. “The only reason we keep you around here is because you’re good at your job! You belong in hell, you demon!”

No more words could properly express how fed up you were, how much you wanted this woman out of sight. Your hands were clutched tight to your chest, which hurt more by the second. You kept your eyes focused on the floor in fear of her reaction. It wasn’t likely that she’d do a 180 and take pity on you.

Instead, you did a 180 and ran out of the building. You could barely see where you were going, but you knew where you wanted to go.

One turn left, a few crossings straight ahead, a couple of right turns, and you were where you and Hitoya had your first ‘date’: a bench next to a vending machine.

That day, he had planned to take you to a fancy restaurant, but it started raining so hard that you had to take shelter in a convenience store for a while, and ended up missing your reservation. When the sky cleared, Hitoya gave you his jacket to shield you from future showers, and bought a couple of drinks to share. The indirect kiss you shared on that canned coffee gave you the strongest butterflies you’d ever felt.

You wanted to feel that same sunshine on your face as then, and see the same rainbow as then, but the sky was cloudy today. Sitting on the bench with your cheeks resting on your fists, you tried to force your mind back into that honeymoon phase. It all seemed so much simpler then, like nothing could stand between you two. Now everything was dreary. Now it was just you, the pit in your stomach, this convenience store, and passers-by.

Someone was walking a hyper-active dog that tried to jump at you. A lady with a small child asked if you were alright, which was nice. A few teens were out looking to cause trouble, though you didn’t care. A group of kids were meticulously counting their money out loud, and yes, they did have enough money to get a soda and a steamed bun. All of these people, going about their lives, reminded you that even in these times where your world was turning upside down, the rest of the world would go on. Even the guy going on a run was just doing his thing. You didn’t look up, but you could hear him running, then stopping just outside the store.

“There you are.” A familiar deep voice said in-between pants.

Your head snapped up. “Hitoya!?”

Hitoya was there, his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

“I heard what happened from Yamashita, at the front desk. I knew where you’d be. She’s gone. You don’t need to worry about her anymore.”

“What?”

“That woman. She’s gone. I kicked her out of the firm. I’m sorry for letting it get to this point.” Hitoya flopped beside you on the bench and took your hands in his. He sounded award, like he was having a conversation that was long overdue. “It was messed up on my end to not say anything. I just figured out that that was worse than doing something. I… You know you’re the only one I have eyes for, you know that? I know I don’t say this romantic sappy stuff a lot, but uh, you’re always what I look forward to seeing, like, you’re really cute right now, even in those clothes. I kinda wanna cuddle you. Hey, let’s take the rest of the day off and go home and do that, yeah?”

You were too stunned to reply with words. It was like a dream come true. That toxic bitch was out of your life, and you didn’t have to see her again. Hitoya was yours, and he was ready to confess – in public, no less – that he really did love you.

After a minute of collecting your thoughts, you replied in a croaky voice: “Yeah, let’s go home. To our home.”

Where no-one could come between you.

[phoenixblack89]

Blank Canvas

Travis is definitely one of my favourite characters the gorgeously talented Mr. Reedus has portrayed. 

TAGS: @fandomsaremykryponite @autocon23 @lilythemadqueen @darylsgirl @writingdeadangel

WARNING: Just pure filthy smut 

The incessant beeping of your alarm clock woke you as you tried in vain to stay under the covers of your bed. Your head throbbed in pain, a lecture about hangovers and the dangers of drinking by your mother echoing in your memory.

It was all Derek's fault.

You would have been quite happy to have the loft to yourself last night while your three roommates went drinking but no. He insisted that you come along to make sure Travis didn't have another 'discussion with gravity' as he liked to call them. Needless to say all of you ended up slightly more than drunk, hell Travis was literally dragged into his room out cold last night.

The only thing making you feel better was the fact he too would be horridly hungover as you at the lecture.

"Y/N? You awake?"

"Just..." You croakily replied, throwing your pillow over your shoulder.

The door creaked loudly as Travis opened it and slowly, holding his head, made his way to you and climbed under the covers.

"Can we skip today?"

"Travis sweetums, you know we can't." You groan, turning and putting your head on his chest lightly. The crush you harbored on the quieter, shyer roommate was nothing secret. Both Jones and Derek knew, Travis seemed oblivious to it however. If he knew he wouldn't do his usual hangover routine which involved him climbing into your bed to snuggle and complain about his head until the afternoon. As it was you weren't complaining. You loved feeling the heat through your body from the innocent act by him.

"Fuck it. Let's skip. We can always catch up. We'll just say we ate dodgy food again. Blame Derek's cooking." You laughed and wrapped an arm around his waist and sighed.

"Shhh my head hurts. Let's go back to sleep" He wrapped his arms around you and closed his eyes.

/*/

The slam of the door jolted you awake. Fucking noisy bastards you thought, glancing at the clock and groaning. Travis rubbed his eyes and sat up slowly. Derek kicked the door open and bounced on the bed, crushing you and Travis back into the mattress.

"See you two finally fucked!" He laughed.

You and Travis both turned bright red and you shoved Derek hard to get out from under him. You stood and pointed at the door.

"Get out!"

"Hey I'm joking! Nice shorts by the way." He laughed, leaning on one elbow to look you over lustifully. You huffed and slammed the door as you entered the bathroom.

Derek was such an ass. If he didn't mind you being late on the rent occasionally you would of moved out but you knew you'd never find somewhere as awesome as the loft. Especially when it came to your art supplies. The space for your canvases was your priority. Hours and weeks and months were spent on your art and they needed special storage to ensure they didn't get ruined. Derek, thankfully, had the perfect conditions for this. Oil, acrylic, watercolour, whatever your classical and fine arts class called for you had on hand within reach. The last place you lived meant you had to rent out a storage unit and numerous pieces of art had been lost because of the shit climate and vermin. You shuddered as you showered, remembering Travis helping you clear the storage unit to move in and discovering one of your favourite pieces had been converted into a comfortable two up two down by a collection of rats. That hadn't been a pleasant sight.

Wrapping a towel around you, you exited the bathroom to a thankfully empty bedroom. The laughs of your roommates reached your ears and you smiled lightly, dressing quickly in your usual baggy clothes before throwing up your hair and sitting at your desk. You sent an email to your professor for the weeks assignment and leaned back, your head ending upside down as you looked at the large blank canvas behind you. You'd bought the thing on a complete whim. You didn't know what to do with it now you had it. And honestly, you'd forgotten you'd even bought it in the first place until the delivery men hauled it into your living room. Maybe you should just give it to Travis. He'd know what to do with it.

"Hey you."

"Hello Miss Jones. What can I do for you today?"

You knew what she was going to say as soon as she closed the door. When you gonna tell him how you feel... Blah. Blah. Blah.

"Before you say it. No. Things are good the way they are. I ain't gonna rock the boat."

"Y/N"

"Nope... Not a chance Jonesy. Ain't telling my cute, sweet, sexy as fuck, roommate I share a vast majority of art classes with I like him. Not happening."

"You should. He's a sweetie."

"I know. That's why I can't. I ain't his type anyway. He prefers thin blonds."

"Oh hunny, you have no idea what he likes." Jones smiled and patted your shoulder lightly. "Maybe you should ask for his help on that huge monster of a canvas." She smirked as she left.

Frowning, you bit your lip and considered her suggestion. Jones smirked as she passed Travis and winked back at you.

Shit. Had he heard?

"You... Erm... Need help with the... Assignment?" He stuttered, his head ducked lowly as you blushed.

"Er yea... Later... I... I... I need to look it over some more.."

He nodded and smirked as he tapped against your doorframe before spinning on his heel and leaving. As soon as you were sure he was out of sight and earshot yoh banged your head forward on the desk with a groan.

"Fuck my life."

/:/

"Lift! Careful! Careful" You huffed as you directed Travis and Derek, who were lifting the canvas into Travis's room for the project that you'd come up with. You laughed as Derek bashed his arm against the door.

"Remind me to not let you get another one this big!" Travis huffed, setting the monster down against his wall and flexing his thick fingers.

"Its not that bad! It's gonna look awesome!" You laughed quietly, tying your Y/H/C into a high ponytail and smiling as Derek left grumbling. "Come on Travis. Let's get this baby started."

"What exactly are we doing again?"

You shook your head and tugged the canvas into a more pleasant angle, last thing you wanted or needed was to injure yourself by overstretching yourself. Travis glanced over his shoulder as he picked up his paintbrush, twirling it between his fingers with a cigarette hanging from his sinful mouth. Your eyes gazed over his wide shoulders and down his back. The black vest clung to the muscles in his back and tucked into the overalls he was wearing, the sleeves tied tight around his narrow hips. His boots banged against the wood floor loudly as he tapped his foot expectantly.

"Y/N?"

"Huh?!" You startled out of your thoughts of how he'd feel under your hands as your nails dragged scarlet lines down that delicious looking back. "Oh erm... Well I was thinking maybe... Erm... A sex scene but not straight up porn. Like two lovers in an embrace kinda thing out in nature... Does that make sense?"

"Hmm... So... Summit like this?" He asked, quickly sketching a rough plan of two lovers on a scrap of paper. The lines were sharp with his haste, the angles a bit off but it was perfect. The woman's head thrown back as the man's lips kissed her neck, the hands gripping onto the males broad shoulders, her leg thrown over his hip.

You smiled widely and began sketching it on to the canvas roughly. Travis smiled, flicked his cigarette and joined you. Each of you taking one of the figures to draw. Travis's eyes lingering on your rapidly shifting hands. He loved watching you loose yourself to your creativity. It was as beautiful as the sun rise to him. The look of pure joy and concentration on your face, highlighted your beauty. The dimples in the corner of your mouth as you placed your pencil between your teeth drove him wild. He couldn't help but wonder what they'd look like as you sucked his cock. He ducked his head to the side as he felt his cock getting harder at the mere thought.

/:/

You backed away from the canvas and tilted your head to the side. Something was off with the sketch and it was bugging you no end. You just couldn't put your finger on what it was. Was it the angle? The pose? Was it something small and seemingly insignificant? Was it because you'd taken the male figure where Travis the female?

"Something is off about it... I just can't see what it is though..." Travis agreed, another cigarette dangling from his fingertips.

"Yea... I see it but I don't. Ya know. Maybe we should... Nah... That's stupid." You blushed and ran your hands over your face. Your eyes were a tad itchy and tired from the low light in the room plus the smoke. Travis chewed his lip and walked to you slowly.

"What?"

"Well... Maybe we should try the pose out. See if its because we didn't have a proper reference for it." Your eyes stayed on the floor, running over the numerous splatters of multicoloured paint that had been dipping onto it. Travis felt a lump in his throat as he shifted his weight nervously. He nodded his head upwards and slowly stalked towards you, licking his lip nervously. You shifted closer and with a glance at the canvas lifted your leg to his hip, pushing yourself closer to him. His fingers hesitated for a moment before wrapping around your thigh tightly. His lips slightly red from being chewed dropped to your neck before pulling away sharply.

"Trav?"

"Hold up. Camera. Can't hold pose and look at it at the same time."

He rushed and grabbed his camera, setting it up on a tripod and grabbed the clicker to be able to take the photo. He smiled as he reached for you and you flushed, feeling the heat from his crotch against your core as he lifted your leg back into place across his hip. His mouth once more just brushing your neck as you ran your hand through his short dark tresses. The camera flashed suddenly and you backed away as Travis quickly hooked the memory card into his computer and gave a laugh at the blurry image on the screen.

"Still looks wrong. Maybe we should lose the overalls?" He suggested quietly, swallowing audibly as the image became more focused. You nodded and blushed, slipping the boots off your feet and shrugging the dark paint splattered overalls off your hips to pool on the floor beside his bed. Your throat went dry as his gaze ran along your legs, over your plain black panties and up your stomach to the thin white cotton vest you had on. Your nipples were clearly visible through the fabric, a dusty rose colour and hard from the tingle of arousal running rampant through you.

Travis's eyes darken as he removed his own clothes down to his boxers before returning to your side once more. You shuddered as his fingertips ran up your leg to grip you up around his hip once more. His eyes drilled into yours as he lowered his head to your neck. Your eyes closed, feeling his breath ghosting over your pulse point. You felt his cock harden against your core as your nails lightly scrapped his scalp and sucked in a gasp. His lips brushed against your neck as the camera flashed. His hand tightened in the back of your neck as he trailed kisses up your neck before pulling back to look into your eyes. You bit your lip and nudged your nose against his lightly.

"Travis..."

"You... God... Y/N I like you. I've thought about you and me so much. I wanna..."

"Shut up and kiss me idiot."

You smiled at the smirk gracing his face as he did as he was told, pushing his hips into yours tighter. He grabbed your other leg and pulled you up into his arms, walking forward to his bed before dipping down onto his knees. His lips felt heavenly after so long of a wait. You nipped his lip lightly and pushed your tongue into his mouth as he gasped.

He growled and thrust against you as his hands ripped your vest from your chest and licked at your nipple. You grabbed his hair and tugged him back to your mouth as you pushed his boxers down his hips and felt the heavy, thick weight of his raging hard cock.

His lips left a trial along your neck, sucking and nipping gently as he ground his hips against yours slowly. A thrill of desire flared in your core, making your clit twitch against the cotton covering them. His fingers lightly tapped along the edge of your panties before gripping them tightly and dragging them harshly down your hips. Your hand ran up and down his length as he leaned his forehead against yours, his breaths coming out as soft groans.

"Fuck... I ain't gonna last if ya keep that up!" He moaned, feeling his orgasm rapidly approaching. With a slight growl, he grabbed your hand and pulled it off himself, slamming it down above your head and panted against your neck. "Fuck..."

"Travis... Please..." You moaned, wiggling under his weight. He smirked against your collarbone as he began kissing down your chest. He shifted his hips and aligned himself with your dripping core. In one swift thrust he buried himself inside your aching pussy as you gave a very loud moaning shriek. Your nails raked down his back as he set a hard, fast pace. His fingers digging harshly into your hips, sure to leave bruises for days.

You gave a loud moan as you felt your core tingling and fluttering around his hard cock, your pleasure sky rocketing towards the orgasmic bliss it craved.

Your release crashed over you as his fingers dug crescents into your hips as his thrusts became harder and rougher. His head leaned back as he enjoyed the sensation of your walls spasming around him, your mouth held open in a silent scream as pleasure rushed through your entire nervous system.

You pulled him towards you and crashed your lips against his as his hips began loosing their rhythm, his own release rapidly approaching. He gave a groan and pulled out, gripping himself tightly and splashing your stomach with his cum. He fell down beside you panting then chuckled.

"Fuck..."

"Yea." You replied with a breath laugh, your hand pushing your sweat soaked hair off your face and grimacing slightly at the stickiness coating you. "We should probably clean up.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It was worth it."

"Yea... Definitely. We should of done that ages ago." He said smiling, leaning up onto one elbow to look into your blissed out face, his other hand using his shirt to clean his mess from your skin. You pushed your hand through his hair and drew his lips to yours before pulling away and biting your lip with a smirk.

"Maybe we should get some more inspiration for that canvas huh?" You said flirty, wiggling an eyebrow up and down. He glanced behind him towards the canvas before laughing and diving on top of you again attacking your neck with his teeth. You gave a loud laugh.

The canvas certainly wouldn't be blank for much longer that was for sure.

[alfred-braginsky]

RusAme Secret Santa 2020

My secret santa this year is @grapeautumn​ !!! I hope you like it, Merry Belated Christmas! 

Gift requested:  Human AU Alfred accidentally summons a demon while making Christmas cookies. The problem comes when Alfred just vehemently doesn't believe in demons and just figures some random guy showed up at his house. The demon, Ivan, starts out fairly miffed but warms up to Alfred (Comedy/fluff, any rating)

Shit, shit , shit, shit!

Alfred simply cannot believe he forgot to make the Christmas cookies for the office potluck. Well, he could believe it. It was common knowledge that he was known to have one or two things slip from his mind. There was no way he could go out now at this point in the night. The roads were icy, and it was too snowy for anyone to see in this weather even with their brights on. All he had to make cookies was lingering ingredients in the cabinets. There wasn’t even a recipe he could follow, everything online looked like either too much work or too basic.

He couldn’t exactly serve up ‘banging your head against the wall’ at the party, so what could he do? A sense of clarity washed over him. He would call his friend Francis! After all, his pastries always seemed to kick ass at any event, formal or just your average potluck. Pulling out his phone he dials his number.

 No answer.

 Things seemed bleak. There was no hope. Nothing he could do. He didn’t have an inkling on the seemingly complicated mysteries to baking cookies. Another thought came to him in his time of need. There is no other choice. He was going to have to call Arthur.

Alfred shuddered at the thought of having to call his cousin for baking advice. The first reason being is that he would never hear the end of it from Arthur. He would have that smug smirk on his face as he brings it up every other Christmas with the family in that condescending tone Alfred hates so much.

The second reason being that any recipe he would get from him would probably end up as piles of ash. Arthur isn’t exactly known for his baking. Alfred hoped his improvisation skills would save him as long he had the building blocks for a cookie.

 Swallowing his pride didn’t seem so hard when he was this desperate. As the phone range he immediately regretted his decision. Too late to hang up now, Arthur would know he called.

 “Hm, hello?” the line stopped ringing as Arthur’s sleepy voice answered.

“…”  

Alfred hoped if he didn’t say anything maybe it will just be just be ignored and Alfred can go back to panicking in peace.

“Hello? Alfred? This better not be another prank call; I won’t fall for it twice! I’m hangin---”

“No! Wait…I’m sorry. This isn’t a prank, I swear.”

“What time is it there? Did something happen? Do I need come over there earlier than expected?”

“What? No! I need your help with something, and it doesn’t require you to come over.”

Arthur was silent for a moment out of curiosity.

“What do you want?” with cautious hesitation.

------

Alfred had explained everything. Arthur was as smug as expected. Luckily for Alfred, he didn’t need to write anything down. Arthur stored some of the books he likes to read  at his place for when he comes over for the holidays. An unpublished cookbook that Arthur had written himself was among the box of books.

Alfred went to the hallways closet and quickly located the box. Rifling through the book he was intrigued with a mix of disgust at how many cheesy romance novels were in the box. They all looked the same. His eyes widen as he spotted a book that looked different from all. The book was black and faded. It didn’t seem like Arthur’s style, but it was the only one that was different. Well, maybe if he looked more…

Nah!

There was no time for that. Alfred flipped through the book and was positive there had to be something in there. If it turned out to be Arthur’s diary, that was even better! Maybe he could find some dirt on him.

Speaking of dirt, it seems like that was the first ingredient for the cookies. Weird? But Alfred wasn’t going to question it.

He grabbed his coat and tried to get as much dirt as he could from the frozen ground. He collected all the dirt required in a bowl. Next step was flesh? Okay…this was going a bit off the track of cookies, but if this is what the recipe asked for who was he to question it?

He grabbed chicken nuggets from the freeze and heated them up in the microwave. Once heated up he put them in the dirt and began to mix the ingredients.

Alright, what did he need to do next? His eyes scanned the very old pages and his eyes widen at what the recipe asked for next.

“What the hell, cut a lock of my own hair?!” he exclaimed.

That had to be some kind of health code violation. Alfred is certain that the recipe will call for him to take it out later. The recipe required a few more ingredients that he was able to find nearby. After it was all mixed together, he rolled the nasty concoction out and began using Christmas cookie cutters to make them into holiday themed shapes. He sprinkled them with peppermint for a pop of color.

The final step was to leave them under the light of the full moon. Alfred looked out the window to see the entire moon above him. What luck! With a yawn he set them down with the window open for the full effect of the full moon’s rays. Baking took a lot of work and he deserved to rest. After taking a quick shower, he got into some comfy pajamas, and went to sleep.

The next morning, Alfred woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring in his ear. Letting out a groan he put his phone on snooze and shut his eyes hoping for a few more minutes of sleep. His eyes snapped open as he heard a loud crash coming from downstairs. He jumped out bed and immediately dug through his closet and pulled out a wooden baseball bat.

With caution he tipped toed out of his bedroom and around the corner where the banging and clashing was coming from. Swallowing hard, he gripped the bat tightly, ready to swing at whatever was in his kitchen. What made him think that leaving the window open at night was a good idea?!

Maybe it was a hungry raccoon. Maybe a party girl who went into the wrong house. Or maybe---

A tall man dressed in all black EATING HIS COOKIES!

“What the hell are you doing? Do you know how long it took me to make those!” Alfred shouted as he lowered the bat, his mouth dropping open in disbelief. His eyes held a pang of defeat. He was going to get scolded by his boss for not bringing anything to potluck again. His boss already didn’t like him. God, he was the fucking worst. At least bringing these cookies would have gotten him off his back today. Well, that is if this stranger hadn’t eaten them!

“Watch your tongue mortal.” A sweet yet threatening voice came from the intruder.

“What? Shut up! You’re the one who broke into my house and ate my Christmas cookies!” Alfred was so frustrated with this entire situation. The day started out so poorly he doesn’t know how it could possibly get any worse.

“You made me an offering. I was supposed to eat the offering.” The man had calmly explained. His previous demeanor shaken when the human who summoned him spoke to him in that way. No mortal has spoken to him like that, but he was unable to harm the entity who summoned him so there was nothing he could do about it.

“What offering? Dude, you literally broke into my house and ate the cookies that took me all night to make!”

“I am a demon from the 5th realm of Hell. I would not be in the house of someone like you if I was not called upon.” For the most part, people who summoned knew what they were doing. This man seemed clueless.

“A demon, huh? Where are your wings? Got any horns? You look like someone dug you out of the clearance section at Hot Topic.”

This references completely flew over Ivan’s head. This is taking into account that he could speak any mortal language, but he could not understand what it is the other man was going on about.

“I am in my most simple form to survive in this realm. You added unnecessary things to the offering, I could not come in my true form.”

“So ya can’t even prove it then?” Alfred crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow.

There was a moment of silence. Ivan was trapped in this realm with no powers, and no one to call upon. He hung his head in defeat.

“No. I cannot.”

Alfred sighed. Well, there was nothing he could do at this point.

“Alright, you’re gonna come to the grocery store with me and replace the ones you ate. Wait there, I’m gonna get dressed.” Alfred held a calm tone as he noticed things becoming less hectic. He nodded before leaving the kitchen.

Quickly getting dressed and packing his work stuff into his side bag, Alfred comes back to see the man standing in the exact same spot. This man has not moved an inch.

“Are…you alright?” he asks hesitantly, looking at him up and down. His eyes landed on the strange man’s face. Their eyes locked. He had purple eyes. How strange.

Alfred’s face flushes red as he realizes he was staring at him.

“Yes, I am fine. I was told to wait. You on the other hand look feverish? You are quite red.” His tone did not waver.

“Y-Yeah! I’m fine. Let’s just get going, don’t think I forgot about you eating my cookies.”

“I have already explained myself, that was an offering!” The demon becoming increasingly frustrated with the other man. Ivan was at a complete loss as to how this man did not know he had summoned him.

Alfred rolled his eyes and exited his apartment with the other man in tow. They got to his car and Alfred proceeded to get in. The demon looked confused.

“What are you standing around for, get in!”

The man had a look of embarrassment.

“I do not know how.”

Alfred was inclined to believe him, although it was something so unbelievable. However, his tone seemed too meek to say otherwise. He gets out of the car and makes his way over to the other man as snow crunches under his boots.

“See this? It’s a handle you just pull.” His voice laced with patience as he explained the tricky technology that was a car door. He was a faster learner, on the second try he managed to open the door.

Both were seated in the car and Alfred began to drive away.

“By the way you never told me your name. I’m Alfred. Alfred F. Jones!” A bright smile adorned his face as the other had a tint of red on his cheeks. Probably from the cold.

“My name is I̶͖̠͋̿̐́v̸͈̥̗͇̂a̸̺̿́̆̈́͑n̸̞̐͑̑.”

Alfred could not understand the sounds the other man had just made. He blinks in confusion and clears his throat to hide his nerves.

“What?” asking for clarification.

“Ah, I am sorry. My accent is very thick. My name, to translate it into something you would understand, is Ivan.”

Alfred rolled the name around on his tongue. He offers him a kind smile.

“Cool!”

They arrive at the grocery store. The doors had just opened and it was full of elderly people and tired moms. Alfred hopes the lines aren’t too long, he really doesn’t want to be late, who knows what his boss will say.

“C’mon. We’re here for one thing.” Alfred motions Ivan to follow and he does. The grocery store was just like any other.

Full of food, noises, smells, bright lights. Ivan hates this place. The demon follows Alfred a little too closely. The shorter man can practically feel his body pressed against his own. Damn, he was so touch starved.

“Hey buddy, you think you can take a step back or two?” Stopping in his tracks to confront Ivan about the problem.

“I am here to serve you. I cannot do that if I am far.”

“Yeah, I’m not asking for 6 feet, just a few inches.” Alfred massaged his temples, so this was how the day was going to go, huh?

Ivan thought it over and took a step back.

“Very well then.”

“Thank you.”

The grocery store wasn’t as packed as he thought. Although, because it was only a few days before Christmas he wasn’t sure how likely it was that there were going to be any cute cookies left.

Rushing over to the baked goods sections his eyes zeroed in on the last box of Christmas cookies. A smile curled on his lips that fell just as quickly when he spotted an old woman reaching and then grabbing the box of cookies he so desired.

A look of sadness washed over Alfred; a defeated smile replaced his disappointed frown. Ivan watched as his bright energy seemed to vanish. Something inside of him told him that he needed to do something. They haven’t known each other for very long but the way Alfred has been treating him has been different than the other humans who have summoned him in the past.

The demon has some magic left on reserve for emergencies. Seeing the smile wiped off Alfred’s face was considered an emergency.

A dark aura enveloped Ivan and in an instant he appears in front of the now frightened older woman.

“You are not worthy of those cookies. Your mortal hands are unfit to hold possession of the power and responsibility they yield. Put them down and you shall not be harmed.” Ivan’s pitch was lower than Alfred has ever heard. The man just stared in shocked with his jaw dropped as the older woman practically threw them back on the table and went off speeding as fast as she could with her cart.

Ivan immediately went back to his human form. He picked up the mostly intact cookies and brought them to Alfred.

“For you.” He says, moving his hand up to Alfred’s face to shut his open mouth.

Alfred’s eyes were still wide.

“W-Why did you scare her like that? It was important but not that important she probably shit herself!”

“You are very crass. I did it for you.”

Alfred was upset but the action was very endearing. The way the black aura shrouded Ivan was pretty hot. Wait, why was thinking that? He needed to stop.

“Thank you. That was really nice of you. But you can’t scare old ladies like that! Maybe next time, ask her if she’s willing to give them up. You’ve probably traumatized her for life.”

“It does not seem like she had much time left.” Ivan said with complete seriousness. Alfred elbowed Ivan trying not to laugh.

“Alright! Let’s go pay for this bad boy.”

“Why must we pay? We fought for this, we won. We deserve to keep the spoils.”

“That’s not how it works, big guy.” Alfred claps the taller man on the shoulder as he leads them to the cash register.

“By the way. You gotta show me that magic trick you did earlier with the old lady.”

“Magic?”

“Yeah! Like did you have some smoke bombs? A voice changer?” Alfred’s eyes sparkle never taking his eyes off Ivan as he pays.

“I am a demon.”

“I see. A magician never reveals his secrets.” Alfred nods in understanding. “Artie’s the same way! He never thought we could see him practicing. But he wore this goofy cape everywhere.”

They talk as they make their way back to the car. Ivan opens the passenger door like a pro. The cookies seated safely on Ivan’s lap as they continue to talk.

“Artie?” he asks, the name tumbling clumsily on his lips.

“Yeah! My cousin Arthur. Yeah! He’s the one I got the book from that had the recipe of the cookies you ate.”

Ivan felt like he was talking to a brick wall. Alfred seemed nice enough, but he simply cannot believe that he is a demon and that Alfred summoned him. He needed to save his strength and peace of mind and just played along.

“Come with me to the office Christmas party? We get a plus one and since you’re already with me, and since we’re already on our way.”

“Yes.” There were too many things in Alfred’s sentence that flew over his head and it was just easier to accept them. He doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into.

They park by a plain building with grey brick, the parking lot covered in the fresh snow that was falling. Getting out of the car, Ivan vowed to protect these Christmas cookies with his life. He would ensure their safety until they arrived at their destination: The Break Room.

Alfred pressed a button, and they entered the elevator. He saw Ivan flinch and took his hand to calm him. Ivan’s shoulders dropped as he took a breath; he was grateful for the hand. The hand was soft and warm against his. The elevator bell dinged, and Alfred let go much to Ivan’s disappointment. Both of them stepped out and into Alfred’s workplace.

The shorter man greeted a few of his co-workers as he wore a friendly smile making his way over to the break room. His boss was there already, telling a story clearly no one wanted to hear.

“Look who made it on time for once, huh?” As he laughed. Ivan saw Alfred twitch and the demon narrowed his eyes at the small man. The party had plenty of treats and goodies. With more than enough cookies.

“Oh, I thought you asked me to get the cookies?” Alfred asked through gritted teeth.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I figured you wouldn’t so I asked Martina to bake some instead. Sorry, completely slipped my mind.” Alfred wanted to kill him. He has never wanted to murder someone so badly.

“I mean you’re not exactly the brightest, which is fine, we all have our strengths.”

Ivan has no clue what is happening, but he knows Alfred is not as stupid or forgetful as this man is making him seem. From what he has seen Alfred is kind, generous, and patient. Qualities he does not see from most mortals.

“Just let this be a lesson for ya, okay?” walking over to Alfred and putting a hand on his shoulder. Alfred was visibly uncomfortable. Ivan snapped. It didn’t matter if it used up the last of his power in getting home. The black aura returned along with blue flames. Horns protruded from his head as dark wings ripped through the back of his shirt. Wings that expanded the entire length of the break room.

“How dare you say such things when you are nothing but a miserable pile of waste. You are a pitiful excuse for a mortal. You are a worm beneath my feet and the feet of the one who summoned me.”

Ivan stomps over to the shaking manager and effortlessly picks the man up by the throat. The manager struggles in his grip. The employees gasp and watch with shocked expressions.

“You will show some respect and reverence to those who deserve it since you are only the dirt under my foot.” Ivan drops the man with a thud and the manager wriggles away and hides behind the other employees. Alfred stands tall as Ivan turns to him and reverts to his human form. Ivan lets out a heavy sigh as Alfred wraps his arms around the other man and kisses him. Ivan doesn’t know what this means but his human form seems to know instinctively to kiss back.

They break it and Ivan sweeps Alfred off his feet and picks him up bridal style. Alfred laughs and wraps his arms around his neck. Ivan goes to leave but Alfred stops him for a moment.

“Also. I quit. Merry Christmas, bitch!”

[k-writer1998]

Black, White, Grey (3/3)

Having Bang Chan as your best friend is great cause he’s literally the best but not so much when you’ve had a crush on him for a majority of the friendship.

Angst

w.c: 2.1k

Part 1     Part 2

A/N: Depending on the reaction on this last part, I may or may not make an extension/alternate ending thing but don’t get your hopes up 😅

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      It’s been a week and I’ve just been swamped trying to finish up my schedules while my manager finalized the details on the new project. Because of this I hadn’t had any time to see or talk to any of the boys much, but without a doubt Chan has just been super weird all week. He’s been checking in more often and has been more attentive to my responses than normal, what's with him lately? I shook the thought from my mind as my manager pulled up to the JYP building. Don’t dwell on it. If the weird vibe is still there when you stop by then you can worry, if not then you’re over thinking.

“After this last photo shoot you’ll have a few days off to pack. We could be there as long as half a year so make sure you have everything. You sign a few papers on my desk then you get some free time while I get everything organized and faxed over okay? ”

“Got it, I should be around the dance practice rooms but if not I’ll text you.”

“The plane ticket is already settled. Once it gets closer to the date I’ll send you the full details but it should be an evening flight.”

“Okay we can go over it later, let’s go in first.”

      As we turned to the building my feet froze in place as my eyes connected with Minho’s. Shit, no one was supposed to find out. My manager looked between the two of us before telling me that he would meet me inside. Minho’s eyes narrowed at me as he came up. I avoided his gaze, instead taking notice of the drinks in his hand and tried to deflect.

“Did you lose a game and have to go buy everyone drinks?” I smiled.

“Yeah, but what was that about? Where are you going?”

“... do I have the option to withhold that information?”

“I mean you can, I’ll just ask Chan-hyung.”

“Wait, don’t! I kinda… didn’t tell him either…”

“Okay now you have to spill if not even your best friend knows. Does it have to do with Chan-hyung?”

“No, I’m not that dramatic,” I rolled my eyes, “I’ve actually been planning this for a while and I finally got the opportunity to do it. I’ve never brought it up because nothing was set in stone yet.”

“Well how long have you known?”

“Since last week…”

“A week? So you’re going overseas for six months for whatever and you didn’t plan on telling any of us?”

“I mean I’ve had to finish a lot of things and we both were so busy-”

“Were you going to tell us today?”

      He knew it was all excuses and he was calling me out on my bullshit. I wasn’t planning on telling then until probably the day before the flight because I can’t do goodbyes. I knew they would all be happy for me, even encourage me, but there was something about all of that that made it harder for me to go. I was already dealing with a heavy heart about Chan, I didn’t need another thing weighing me down when I’m barely functioning as it. It was selfish I know but I needed at least some mental stability intact if I was going to be doing this.

“I wasn’t… but I have my reasons okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” he scoffed as he turned to the door.

“Minho wait,” I called as I grabbed his arm, “I’m sorry okay? A lot has happened in such a short period of time and I’m trying to deal with it all but my brain can’t catch up and I don’t know how to put everything into words right now. I’ll tell the others on my own terms but please keep this a secret for now.”

      I saw his jaw tense as he kept his eyes closed for a moment before he turned to glare at me. His eyes scanned my face for a moment before he sighed and I relaxed a bit.

“Fine. But you better hurry up about it. I’m not keeping it for long.”

“Thanks Minho, I will. I’ll meet you at the studio in a bit okay?”

      He shooed me away and I gave his arm a brief hug before meeting my manager inside so I could sign what he needed then left to go meet the boys. Hanging out was pretty normal minus a bit of extra attitude from Minho and Chan being less weird but still not himself. The next two days were filled with me figuring out what to pack while fighting the little voice in my head that wanted me to just stay in bed and never leave. I’m currently staring at my phone, living room strewn with things that need to be packed, as I tried to figure out how to text the boys I’m leaving without everyone getting mad… especially a certain someone. As I erased yet another failed attempt at trying to tell them, my door chimed as my door code was being inputted. Before I could think of who it was, Chan bursted in and I got up to meet him halfway. He was breathing heavily, looking quite the mess but the troubling factor was his eyes. They were red and filled with confusion, betrayal, pain… God damn it Minho couldn’t you have given me more time?

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? What happened to no secrets? Why is it that I had to find out from Minho?!"

“Chan calm down… I was about to tell everyone, no one was supposed to know before. Minho only knows because he overheard it while I was talking with my manager. He wasn't supposed to say anything though..."

"Why? Did you just want to disappear before I could say anything?"

"I didn’t mean to keep a secret okay? I have my reasons for hiding it just like you have your reasons for hiding whatever has been making you so weird lately," I countered.

      I wasn’t the only one who was going to be confronted. I mean his reaction was a bit extreme just for an overseas trip, even if it was an unannounced one, but if we’ve already reached this point might as well get some answers. 

“What are your reasons then? And I haven’t been weird.”

“I’ll tell you once you tell me because we both know that you aren’t being yourself. You’re treating me like glass, as if anything you do will hurt me,” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I'm not, I just don't know how to act when- It's just when Minho-" he ran a frustrated hand through his hair before he asked, barely above a whisper, "Are… are you leaving because of me?"

"What? Chan, why would you-" 

      My heart stopped. As the pieces fell in place, the color drained from my face. It makes sense. Why he’s been so weird lately and that nagging feeling that I’ve been having that something was wrong… 

"How long?"

“I-”

“Chan don’t act like you don’t know what I’m asking.”

"Since a week and a half ago..."

      A week and a half ago? The only time I would have talked about it where he could catch it was…

“… you weren’t asleep were you?”

“I was! But I woke up because of Minho and I was trying to go back to sleep when…” 

      Panic flushed his face as he explained himself and I just numbly nodded in understanding. I couldn’t help but sigh at what was unraveling right now. I’ve been getting away with it for so long that I wasn’t careful. That’s on me. 

“Can we just go back to normal, please? This whole treating me like I’m porcelain, being super careful about what you do and the constant glances,I hate it.” 

“I- I just… I don’t know how to act. You’re my best friend and I love you but-”

      I cut him off before he finished. The pure confusion written all over his face reminds me why I’ve hidden this for years. The frustration at myself boils beneath my skin, I’m trying not to let Chan’s actions get to me… but it does. It fuels my anger more, I don’t need pity and I don’t need protection.

"Chan, there is no option where I’m not hurt in some way. Would you leave Eunhye to be with me, break two hearts at the price of one? Or would you just not date anyone to protect my feelings at the price of your own? Do you think I’d be happy or even okay with you doing that?!” I snapped.

      He was shocked at my sudden fire of questions. He stayed silent, trying to find an answer but the growing conflict that spread across his face was the only answer I needed. I let out a sigh, so much has happened. Him finding a girl he likes, me getting that overseas audition, him finding out about my feelings… it’s overwhelming. I take a moment to collect myself before I speak again.

“Sorry… I just… I hoped to never have this conversation.”

      The lost look in his eyes broke my heart because I know that look. He’s nearly perfected hiding his feelings from his facial expressions, but his eyes always betrayed him. They held fear and slight panic as they darted around my face, trying to figure out my next move.

“I’m okay Chan,” I offered him a weak smile, “We’ve known each other for far too long and that’s how I know I was never an option. If there was a chance for an “us” I of all people would have caught it, don’t you think?”

       He averted his gaze, the guilt washing over him as he shrank back and started to fiddle with the hem of his hoodie sleeve. I took a step forward, placing my hands on the sides of his face and gently brought him to look back at me. I’ve done this countless times when I found him in one of his lows, where doubt and uncertainty had found its way into his heart. Something so intimate that belonged to us, at this moment, was yet another grey area that was finally finding clarity. I know that after this things will change and neither Chan or me want that… but we’ll have to learn to live with it. 

“Your heart's too big Chan, and I can't blame you. It's one of the reasons I fell for you, but you know what's in your heart. It’s obvious you really like her and that’s okay-”

“But I’m hurting you…”

“Deep down I’ve always prepared myself for this. Even if it hurts now, it won’t hurt forever and I’m wholeheartedly overjoyed that you found someone that makes you happy. So let’s stop this already okay?”

“Then why are you crying… stupid…” Chan questioned with a soft voice.

      Damn it… I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. Chan removed my hands from his face as he drew me in for a hug. I rested my forehead on his shoulder, taking in his scent as his warmth encased me. I couldn’t stop myself so I succumbed to the wave of tears that spilled from my eyes, his hoodie balling in my hands as I clung to him. It was a while before my tears stopped but Chan still rubbed circles on my back like he always did whenever I broke down. Once the tears dried and I took a moment for myself to remember this feeling… the feeling of him… I pulled away.

“I wasn’t running away from you. I got a call for a Hollywood film I auditioned for… I have to go to LA for a call back and if it works out I stay. I didn’t want to tell anyone yet in case I don’t end up landing the role you know?”

“Oh my gosh that's amazing," he responded excitedly before the remorse set in, "I’m sorry. This was a big step for you and I made it about myself… I may have thought a bit too much when I found out,” he awkwardly laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You and Minho both. I’m not that dramatic to run away because of a broken heart. Do you not know me Chan?” I tease.

“My bad,” he smiled, “but we are good still… right?” 

“Yes and since you’re here did you want to stay and help me pack?” I asked, poking his side and returning the smile.

“I mean I kind of just bolted out of the dorm so why not, I’m getting in trouble anyways.”

[yukiwrites]

Together, Even After Death

I HAD PLANNED TO POST THIS ON VALENTINE’S DAY but stuff happened so I was only able to finish it today, but it’s still february so it still counts!!! IT DOES OKAY!! I love Líf so much I’m gonna combust into flames right here and now!!! Watch out for the sin, ye who enter!

Summary: Remembering the line of thoughts she had in the past, Kiran decided to act on her impulses and give Líf the present she knew he’s always wanted, but was ashamed to get.

______________________________

It was rare that Kiran woke up before Líf did. So rare that that might have been the first time ever since they returned from Ljósálfheimr.

Wrapped around his febrile arms, Kiran rested her ear on his strong, cursed chest, hearing the faint heartbeat thumping in its characteristic odd rhythm. The more she acquainted herself with his semi-life, the more she wanted to spend it all by his side; she even noticed that his skin would usually feel cold to the touch at first, but would gradually absorb her own warmth into his, exuding its own warmth the more they touched. She looked up to his sleeping mien, slowly taking the hair that covered most of his face away as she smiled fondly, wanting to kiss the scars that bordered the curse with his own flesh, accepting all of him within herself.

Specks of dust glistened in the faint sunlight seeping through the curtains, the chill of the previous night being washed out little by little by the morning sun. Kiran trailed her fingers through Líf's cheek, tufting the most hair she could behind his ear so she could look at his handsome sleeping face unhindered.

It was strange. Watching him being so vulnerably hers made Kiran's heart ache with accomplishment, love and longing that stole her breath away. As it was true that she felt that she had come to that world only so she could meet him again, so it was that she felt as though she had to one-up all the memories of the past, so he could accept their love as it were at the present.

When they were together, he had no qualms about confessing his ever-lasting love to her, but under the eyes of the others, he'd always made sure to keep his distance.

She knew he felt inadequate. She knew he did not want to impose his undeath existence into this world and its inhabitants -- as though he were ready to leave at a moment's notice.

Yet, he was unable to even consider the notion of leaving her; she knew it. Kiran felt treasured, loved and accepted in his arms, but it was as though she were both his shackles and the keys to his freedom at the same time.

She wanted him to accept feeling accepted; she wanted him to welcome this new life with her from the depths of his very being, irregardless of how irregularly did his heart beat. She wanted him to acknowledge that that was how this life was going to play out: them, together, no matter what others thought or where each of them came from.

Placing her hand over his cheek, Kiran felt it gradually switch from cold to warm as his brows twitched with conscience of himself.

He was waking up.

His cold breath ruffled her bangs, urging her so stretch her neck just a little bit higher to place a peck in his febrile lips, quite literally waking the prince up with a kiss.

Líf chuckled under her mouth, moving his hands up her spine towards the back of her neck so as to press her more into him. "Have I overslept?" He asked between kisses, barely opening his eyes.

His heart ached with the need to be with her from the moment he was conscious of himself -- not even from the moment he opened his eyes. Being with her overwhelmed him to his brimming capacity... and he wanted more, more and more of it.

The very breaths he took depended on being around her to bring life into his lungs. It was inescapable; like a sweet prison he would never run away from, a place to return to no matter where he went during the battles of the day. Ah... being with her and only her brought the solace only the living understood -- and feeling of belonging the dead sought.

Kiran giggled under Líf's eager tongue as it searched for hers, promptly opening her mouth to allow his entrance. She wrapped both arms around his neck, pressing her body into his to welcome the eagerness of a hungry, roused man.

He pulled her towards him, turning his body slightly to the side so his back was on the mattress and hers, atop of his. He could feel her thundering heartbeat in his chest, his own poor heart struggling to accompany the rhythm, making him feel short of breath and dizzy.

Once they pulled away, he was huffing for breath, his lips nipping on hers so they wouldn't part. Kiran reciprocated the gesture, then trailed her kisses to his ear, digging her face into his neck for a tight hug. "You didn't oversleep; I just woke up a bit earlier than usual." She whispered on his flesh, making him roll his eyes in overwhelming pleasure as he felt goose bumps shake his body.

"What a novel way to wake up." He said in a hoarse voice, pressing her so in his hug that it robbed her of her next breath.

Kiran's muffled laughter brought a smile to Líf's lips, making him want this moment to never end.

He felt her body going up and down with each breath she took; he felt her and his heart thumping in the same rhythm (one struggling more than the other); he felt her lips resting atop the skin of his neck -- and wanted them to move up, up and up, towards his own.

Ah, truly, what a novel way to wake up.

"I don't want the day to start," she complained with a pout, her voice sounding cheeky by his ear. "Can't I just stay here with you all day?"

Chuckling, Líf replied almost immediately, "no." Though his arms never easened around her body or made any motion to let her go. "To rob the world of the one and only Summoner? I will not be such a villain. Not again."

Kiran snorted, a strangled laugh leaving her throat. "So serious! Maybe I'll have to become the villain and kidnap this prince, instead!" She struggled to move for a beat, forcing Líf to hold her more loosely, allowing her to rest her head on his chest and look at him from below, wearing a huge grin.

Líf caressed her face, placing wild strands of hair behind her ear. "You will never be a villain."

"Then indulge me lest I become one!" She closed her eyes, tilting her face into the hand he deposited over her cheek.

"Hah," he sneered as he flopped to the side, throwing her on the bed under a surprised shriek. "What shall I do to please you, then, my love?" He took the favored lock of hair to his lips and kissed it, making Kiran's heart skip several beats.

Her face rosy with embarrassment from how stunningly handsome her lover looked, Kiran couldn't help but gulp and bite her lower lip before looking away for a moment. "I... heard that the moon's going to be especially bright tonight. Will you accompany me to that garden once the moon is out?"

The garden of their memories from a distant past -- the one they shared many a laugh and tears in. The garden Líf visited hundreds, thousands, countless times after his death if only to relive what little he could retain from what he felt in the past.

It was a place of utmost importance to both of them, but most of all to him, so it took the prince a second longer than intended to voice his reply. "Of course," he croaked out, the red of his eyes cooling down to a darker shade.

Kiran's warm hand on his cheek startled Líf from the stream of memories washing over his heart, forcing him to blink so as to look at her wonderful visage. A small smile sprouted on his face once their eyes met, a spark of life making him take a large gulp of breath, "of course." He repeated with more vigor, the glint of love once again shining in his eyes.

"Mhm," Kiran pressed her forehead against his, closing her eyes to enjoy their shared breath before opening her mouth for a kiss.

This time, Líf was ready, willing and accepting of her caress, welcoming it with his tongue at the ready to once again taste her unique sweetness and lose himself into the wonder that was Kiran.

The Summoner and the former General of the dead had a daily ritual only known to themselves -- Kiran reveled in helping Líf into his armor once the day started, though what she loved the most was to help him out of it once the sun had set and it was time to retire to her quarters. Ever since returning from the land of dreams, Líf had never once set foot into the bed that had been prepared for him at the barracks, using Kiran’s room as his own instead.

It hadn’t been something they deliberated before attempting, though, don’t get them wrong. Since they spent so much time (or was it so little? Time flowed differently in Ljósálfheimr, so they couldn’t tell) together before returning to the waking world, staying that way was simply the norm to them -- though Líf always made sure not to be seen by anyone whenever he came in or out of Kiran’s room. Still, he never once failed to be with her throughout the nights, something that brought both of them a great deal of solace and, well… pleasure.

Due to the General of the gods’ serious and self-deprecating personality, he always made sure to watch Kiran during the day, though he did so from such a great distance one would wonder if his eyes could really see from that far. Still, he wouldn’t run from her should she choose to go to him for whatever reason, which she liked to do whenever she wanted to take a break and have his cold touch on her skin.

Kiran wanted that to change, though -- at least the distance part. She wanted him to feel proud of being seen walking beside her, not see himself as a shadow of a lost past and a defeated conviction.

Hopefully the words she had stuck in her throat and the present she hid in her coat for a few weeks would be enough to break the self-imposed shackles Líf wore in all of his interactions within the castle. Clutching her chest, Kiran pulled her hood up to hide the grin she fought against, as well as her increasingly redder cheeks.

The day felt especially long today.

However, night was still bound to fall, no matter how long it seemingly took to do so. After saying her goodbyes to Alfonse, Sharena and Anna for the day, Kiran took a walk to the garden of hers and Líf’s shared memories as dusk slowly covered Askr like a blanket. Not too long after arriving, Kiran heard the sound of Líf’s footsteps crunching the grass under them, making her turn with a suppressed smile and open arms.

Failing to see the shadow covering Kiran’s expression, Líf simply obediently took his tiny lover into his arms, bending down to hug her without taking her from the ground. He rested his face in the space between her neck and shoulder, nestling his hands on her hips as she squeezed his neck in her stronger-than-usual embrace.

The reason for him to not squeeze her into a tighter hug as he would like was solely due to his armor -- since it was full of spikes and layers, it constantly prickled and pinched Kiran whenever she tried to initiate any contact while he wore it, so they came up with a perfect hugging position through much trial and error, and that was how they stood at the moment. Blinking, the General of the gods looked up at the starry sky from within Kiran’s scent, slightly tilting his head to the side. “The moon does not seem to be particularly bright tonight, I’m afraid. Should we come back another time?”

Kiran went down from her tiptoes, prompting Líf to loosen his grip on her so they could look into one another’s eyes. She pressed her forehead on his, placing her hands over his febrile chest, enjoying how it went from cold to warm with her touch. “Actually, that was a random excuse. I just wanted to take a walk with you here tonight since I had something I wanted to tell you.”

Líf felt something scratch the weakness that was his heart, as though he had chewed on sand, his brows flickering with an unknown emotion. “Something to tell me?” He straightened his back, looking at Kiran from his tall height. She tucked her hair behind her ear with one hand, squeezing Líf’s with the other. She then proceeded to unbuckle the gauntlets covering his hands and forearms, his reaction to it one born out of habit: he simply turned his arms to help her do it more easily.

In Ljósálfheimr, Kiran often asked Líf to hold her hand with his own skin, rather than with his armored gauntlets. To her, it meant the world to feel him on her; to remind her that him being right there, beside her, was not another dream nor illusion. It then became a habit to always have their skins touch whenever they had the luxury to walk hand in hand.

Kiran gulped, not knowing where to start, trying to busy her mind with the puzzle that it was to help that man out of his gauntlets. “I… I never told you about my life from before, right? Not right now, not back then.”

That made the fallen prince gulp and take a short breath. “Your life… from back in your world, you mean?” He asked, receiving a silent nod in return. He felt his stomach turn and cold seep into the heart that didn’t feel like beating anymore. His body grew colder than usual, dread taking ahold of his mind and feelings.

Kiran noticed that he felt colder to the touch once she was done with one gauntlet, promptly tying it to his belt as it was their custom. She peeked at him from under her bangs, meeting his lifeless gaze and flinching with emotion. “Would it be okay if I spoke about it? It won’t sound as bad as you’re thinking.”

Líf suddenly felt the urge to take a deep breath, using his now naked hand to take off the mask holding back the lips that wanted to speak. “I…” he hesitated, frowning deeply as he avoided Kiran’s gaze. “I would be… lying if I said I was never curious about it.” He confessed under a strangled voice, his throat hurting to let the words flow. Kiran’s hands stopped midway to the next gauntlet, her eyes fixed on him. “However, I could never bear to ask. To remind you of what you have lost and most certainly long for -- the home you were stripped away from to be plunged into a war that was not yours to fight.” He looked to the crunched grass beside Kiran’s feet, not being able to bring himself to look at her in the eyes. “Furthermore…”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, feeling petty at what was about to leave his mouth, ultimately deciding to leave it shut.

“Furthermore?” Kiran tilted her head to the side in question, holding Líf’s armored hand with both of her small ones. “You know you can tell me anything, Alfonse.”

Ashamed, Líf glanced at his beloved twice before taking a sharp breath. “I also did not want you to remember it or miss it. I wanted to selfishly keep you here with me -- back then and now -- the ones waiting for you to be damned!” He choked something akin to a sob, though his eyes remained dry, covering his face with the back of his free hand in embarrassment. “How could I wish for something that would undoubtedly bring pain to you and the ones you love? How could I compare to the family, friends and life you’ve led? Someone like me, who lost everything…”

Kiran couldn’t help but smile, her eyes burning with tears as her chest overflowed with warmth. She stretched her arms to touch Líf’s face, bringing his gaze down to her, the warm hand in his cheeks sharing the temperature to bring him back to the semi-life rather than the undeath. “I kind of could tell, ever since back then, but to actually hear it for myself is another thing entirely.” She giggled, forcing Líf to look at her giddy expression and widen his eyes.

“Kiran- but why-” befuddled at his beloved’s ready acceptance of his terrible, ugly feelings, Líf could only hold her arms in awe.

“You’d think wearing a mask all the time would conceal your thoughts, but you’re still as easy to read as you were before, you know?” She moved her fingers from his cheeks to the back of his neck, pulling him down to her height so as to place a short kiss over his lips. “I’ve always wanted to tell you about my world, but I refrained because I knew that you’d feel just like how you’re feeling now.” She trailed one hand to his icy chest, her touch making the curse blink from blue to red, then back to blue, as though infusing his body with her warmth.

Líf pressed his lips into each other, almost pouting, and turned his head away lest she read everything that was going through his mind. That stole a chuckle out of Kiran, who went back to unbuckling the remaining gauntlet while humming.

Once she was done, she tied it on his belt, right beside the other, and finally took his bare, left hand into both of hers, bringing it to her chest so he could feel her heartbeat. She trailed her fingers through the long, black scar that separated his skin from the curse, the pale blue it radiated slightly illuminating her face in the growing darkness of the night. “There was not magic in my world.”

“...” Líf remained silent as she paused to look at him and smile.

“None at all, you know. Instead, we had more, well, scientific advances.” She bobbed her head to the sides, never letting Líf’s hand go from her chest, hugging it with both arms. “I won’t delve into this, though; what I wanted to say is that this world? Askr? And every other world the Heroes hail from? They’re all, um, games in my world.”

“Games?” Líf raised his brow.

“Like, uh, tabletop games? The closest I can get is dice games with personalized units.” She gestured ‘tiny’ with one hand, flustered. “This isn’t going how well I wanted it to go, but I need this point to get across.”

“I can mostly understand.” Líf reached out to her face with his free hand, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. “Dice games with wildly different stories, you mean? All of us?” He asked in one breath, his shoulders sagging with the next he took after Kiran nodded. “All of our suffering… documented in a game for others’ pleasures.” The words left a bad taste in his tongue, though he didn’t mean to make Kiran feel bad about it in the slightest. “At least you were safe from the perils of our fights before you were summoned.” He mused, not wanting to move his hand from her face. “Were there wars in your world as well?”

Kiran closed her eyes and tilted her head to Líf’s hand, enjoying his touch. “No. Not in my lifetime, anyway. So you can imagine my surprise when I was suddenly sucked inside a game I had just downloaded- I mean, a game I just started to play. Everything was so different and overwhelming! The difference in technological advance aside, it was all so confusing. I was so, so scared and lonely… Every night I prayed to be flinged back home since I felt that there was nothing for me here.”

Líf’s hand froze in place, stopping even the slight caress his thumb was making on Kiran’s skin. He pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyes narrowing to an almost close. Seeing him react just the way she thought he would, Kiran felt her heart sting a bit -- it hurt to see the one she loved think so little of himself, but she also felt her heart being filled to the brim with the love that seeped through the self-containing actions of Líf’s.

The Summoner turned to kiss her beloved’s palm, stealing his gaze back into hers. “That’s how I felt at first, of course. I mostly missed my family since they were suddenly so far I wouldn’t be able to reach them with a simple message, but it’s not like we were that close to begin with. Besides, what I found here,” she hardened her grip on Líf hand over her chest, “is something I would never be able to find there, no matter how long I searched for.”

Opening and closing his mouth -- Líf didn’t want to be presumptuous and say that he was what Kiran had found here, though he wanted more than anything to be able to say that proudly -- the General simply lowered his head, allowing his long bangs to cover his expression.

“With time, I realized that this is truly where I belong -- and that I was pulled here for the sole reason of meeting you.” She said finally, once again taking his left hand and fumbling with it. “That day when- when Hel invaded for the first time… I realized it then, when her scythe claimed my life for the first time.” She brought his fingers to her lips one at a time, placing a kiss on every one of them. “That I’ll go back to my world when I die here.” She breathed out over his skin, his eyes widening with the revelation. “I don’t remember for how long I stayed there, though, before being pulled back again by this world’s Anna. A second? A lifetime? I couldn’t say. My life per se was already here, with you, before I realized it. And I can say with utmost conviction that I would live half of a life if I had remained in my world after meeting you.” She closed her eyes, then shook her head. “No… Maybe I had always been simply surviving day by day, without a clear goal to strive for. I only found my true calling when I came here, to meet you and become this world’s Summoner. This is the place I want to be, and I want you to be right there with me as I walk through my life in this foreign world.” She concluded with a slight hint of tears in her eyes, her hands finally settling after surreptitiously placing a ring on Líf’s finger. “Will you stand by me?”

Líf’s brain short-circuited for a second.

His eyes as wide as they could get, he slowly lowered his gaze from Kiran’s to the foreign sensation around his ring finger. Once he saw the golden wedding band proudly standing over the mix of the curse and his skin, his eyes glistened in a bright red, the tip of his nose burning with emotion. He opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say, not realizing a wide smile bloomed at the corners of his lips.

Kiran had said so much. There was so much information to digest and his brain was working so very slowly – and while every alarm was beeping inside his head, the only thing he could hear was the sound of his thundering heartbeat in his eardrums.

That, and his inner voice howling at him, saying that he had been proposed to in the most irrefutable manner possible: she disclosed information of the place she was born in, something Líf had always wanted to know, ever since the days he went by Alfonse; and told him that she belonged right there with him. How could reply anything but yes?!

The moment words finally went back to making sense, Líf choked a cough, taking a deep breath. “I-” realization and embarrassment hit him all at once, making the very large man shirk away from the small woman, wanting to hide himself in shame. “I do not have… I do not have a ring prepared for you-” he said in a thin, pitiful voice, stealing a loud chortle from Kiran.

“Hah! Don’t worry, I didn’t expect you to -- I can tell you the place I got this one from, though.” She winked, once again kissing his hand, no, the ring atop of it.

The curse covering Líf’s face turned bright red to go with how the flesh over his cheeks blushed. He was doubly ashamed for not thinking about the ring, since making a promise with her in his semi-life state (not to mention the vow he had made to fight for Thórr, something he could never forget) was so far from his mind that, although it would be a lie to say that it never crossed his mind, was swept under the carpet of his brain. It was mind-boggling how a simple accessory such as that ring could lift the unspeakable weight he was carrying over his shoulders: the shame, the guilt, the horror of being unfit to be with her, despite the prince he had once been staying right there beside her as this world’s heir; it was all gone like smoke. Poof!

“Oh, Kiran,” Líf took an unsteady breath, lowering himself while also bringing Kiran close to him, ultimately claiming her parted lips into his own. He inserted his tongue into her mouth, searching for hers so he could taste her innermost flavor, robbing her of her breath and coherent thought in one sitting.

“Mpph…” Kiran rolled her eyes in pleasure as Líf dug into her mouth, sucked into her lips and nipped onto her tongue, lazily wrapping both arms around his shoulders. He didn’t let either of them take the shortest of breaths -- he kissed, kissed and kissed her until both of their lips were swollen and wet, always wanting to dive into each other sweetness for a moment longer, for a second longer.

“My Kiran, my own. Oh, my love…” He repeated between kisses, licking her lower lip before diving once again within her mouth, pressing her body into his own with such hunger Kiran’s legs felt weak as she let herself be carried by the strength of his hug alone. He held her weight with one hand behind her back, his eager and hungry lips trailing down her chin and jaw towards her ear. “I am forever yours. Forever, and all that comes after it.” He sucked and licked her skin, leaving love bites whenever he touched as he rapidly went back up to her lips, claiming them once more.

“Ahn…” A moan died by Kiran’s lips once they met Líf’s, her arms hungrily tugging on his hair as though urging him to go further, further.

In the middle of their kiss, Líf slightly bent forward, using the hand that pressed Kiran’s thighs into his own to go behind her legs instead, taking her into a bridal carry. Kiran almost bit his tongue in surprise, widening her eyes as they pulled away.

“Aren’t we… hahh… going to…?” She tried to ask, short of breath, glancing at the wide grassland around them.

“Oh, yes,” Líf replied with a chuckle, nipping at her lower lip and pulling it for a bit before releasing it. “If I simply wanted to claim your body, as long as you are comfortable, anywhere is fine.” He started, pressing his forehead on hers, a large, genuine smile wide on his face. As per their own experience back in Hel and in Ljósálfheimr, there were no shortage of places for them to become one at. “However, I want to make love to you, Kiran. And I cannot do that here.”

Kiran widened her eyes and covered her face with both hands, her cheeks feeling as though they were on fire. “Why am I the one feeling this way when you were the one getting proposed to?!” She shrieked, kicking her legs in anticipation and glee.

“Haha!” Líf laughed for what seemed to be the first time in his life -- and perhaps it had been the first time during this semi-life -- pressing a loud kiss in Kiran’s cheek before turning around to go back to her room.

Although Kiran was used to taking Líf's armor off, somehow she fumbled more than usual today -- her hands felt so weak they could barely unbuckle the belts, especially with the greatest distraction that was Líf's mouth: he couldn't help himself in tasting her at every breath, at every possible moment.

She trickled her hands through the hard and cold metal, her eyes fogged with desire as her brain gasped for more oxygen under Líf's unrelenting kisses. Once the final thud of the armor fell on the floor, Kiran immediately felt her body being lifted in a bridal carry once again, to be properly laid on the bed right after.

Dizzy, her face flushed with lust and an overwhelming need to feel Líf's thrusts into her, Kiran arched her body towards her beloved's as he peeled her camisole out of her, revealing her glistering body and nude breasts.

Never had Líf felt laughter come to him so easily as it had been since Kiran proposed -- he couldn't contain the wide smile nor the eventual chuckles whenever he saw her make a funny face out of unbridled lust. He felt so mind-shatteringly free his body felt unspeakably light -- and every sensation coming from his tasting of Kiran's sweet flavor was multiplied a hundred-fold, making it feel as though he had transcended life and death themselves.

He was finally, truly, hers.

And oh, by the gods, she was the one who claimed him for herself, so it only stood true that he would do the same! He couldn't help but revel on every moan that came out of her throat; on every twitch her body made under his touch. He pressed his hands down her skin, committing it all to memory more than he already had.

A familiar body, a beloved skin, a shared heart.

Líf felt utterly and absolutely complete. It was as though his heart had been missing a piece up until that moment, but now, oh, now it was full to its utmost capacity.

"I love you, I love you so much, my Kiran..." He whispered over her skin as he licked from her jaw to her collarbone, not leaving a single part of hers untouched by him. He sucked on her nipples, enjoying how they hardened under his tongue, grinding them between his teeth ever so slightly.

"Alfon-ahnnn...!" Kiran's body trembled in delight as he carefully distributed his love through her body, digging her hands into his scalp once he settled on her breasts.

He did not stop there, however, the hunger of a man whose love was reciprocated one that couldn't be matched -- he wanted every inch of her to be touched by him, to be marked by his feelings. He sucked on her abdomen, then over her hips, leaving mark upon mark under his wake -- he bit her inner thighs and growled a chuckle when Kiran flinched under his teeth, as an adorable 'eek' left her throat.

Slowly ascending to his knees as he kissed from the inside of her legs to her calf and ankle, Líf rubbed his throbbing erection, hidden within his pants, into Kiran's underwear, making her cover her face with both hands, wanting him to the point of losing herself. Líf trailed the kisses from one ankle to the other, descending once again to the middle of Kiran's legs, stealing a sigh of pleasure from the Summoner.

As he nipped and sucked on her skin, so close to her innermost insides, Kiran shook and trembled, turning the bed sheet under her into shambles with her nails. "Hah-nn... A-Alfonse, you're- ahn... I'm losing my mind here..." She shook her head to the sides, her vulva pulsating with hunger, wanting to be filled to the brim with him.

"Oh, but your taste is so addicting -- I love it so..." Líf replied as he nipped at Kiran's clitoris over her underwear, making her jump on her skin and squeeze her eyes in pleasure.

"Hhng... Hah..." Kiran huffed, barely able to speak. "Love me... Love me properly... Oh, Alfonse..." She pleaded, weakly extending her arms to invite her beloved inside of her.

Líf felt his nose sting once more, the adorableness that was his beloved -- his wife? His wife! -- shaking him to his very core. He could barely feel his feeble heart as it beat to its utmost capacity, his mind swirling with thoughts of Kiran and only Kiran. "Oh, my love," he bemoaned, quickly claiming her swollen lips into his own, rolling his eyes in pleasure as he tasted her flavor yet again.

With Kiran's help, they pulled down her skirt and underwear at the same time, finally liberating the way for them to become one like so many times -- however, unlike so many times, they would finally do so under the compromise being together for all eternity.

Until his feeble heart stopped beating and death claimed him once more. And beyond. 

Until her body refused to leave his side and chose this world to perish into. And so much further.

"I love you, I love you," Líf huffed, licking her lips at the same time he freed his erection, prodding it at her vaginal opening.

Tears of pleasure rolled down her face as Kiran choked a sob while she cupped Líf's face with her hands, panting at the same frequency as he did. "I love you too, so very much..." She moaned as she felt him press the glans on her vulva, squeezing her eyes once he slowly slid it in, her moist insides welcoming him with unbridled thirst.

Líf closed one eye in pleasure, her insides sucking him in as fast as he put it all in. "K-Kiran, you-"

"D-don't move yet, I think- I'm- aahn...!" Kiran's body shook with climax only with Líf's first insertion, her entire being overflowing with desire for him. She closed herself around him so, he had to take a short breath so as not to come himself. "I- ah... Oh, it feels so good..." She threw her head back in pleasure, wanting him to stay inside of her forever.

Líf bit her chin to make her turn her head towards him, all of his cells pulsating in a frenetic rhythm. He pulled out with difficulty as Kiran sucked him in with hunger, and thrusted back so as to rub on her sensitive spot.

Soon Kiran's legs lost their strength around his waist, her entire body softening under his slow and strong thrusts.

The General professed his love whenever he had the breath to do so, his lower body longing to become one with Kiran until both of them had depleted their energy, which only seemed to soar higher and higher as his movements accelerated.

Kiran's arms slipped on Líf's back due to the sweat and lack of strength on her limbs, but she managed to hold onto him by digging her nails into his skin, scratching it deeper as his thrusts accelerated.

They moaned in unison by one another's lips, the humid air around them fogging even more their gazes and minds. Each time Líf thrusted so deeply his and Kiran's inner thighs rubbed on one another, Kiran squeezed her eyes further in delight. She was barely able to form coherent thoughts, her entire being focused on the approaching orgasm -- the second of the many that were in sight for this night that reserved for them and only them.

"Alf-ahn...!" She cried out, tears of pleasure rolling down her temples to her ears as Líf powerfully pounded her one last time before the climax shook her entire body. She felt the heat rise from her inner thighs and reverberate through her stomach, legs and finally into her heart, making her choke a sob.

Líf's fluids dripped down from inside her, his erection still throbbing, ready to please her all night long. He nudged his nose into hers, their rasped breathing mirroring one another. "Kiran, my Kiran... mine, my Kiran..." he rolled his forehead on hers, his hair sticking onto his skin from sweat. He slowly pulled out only to put it in just as slowly, still under Kiran's spams from the climax.

"Ah-ahnn..." She squeezed him into her hug, bringing his face close to her. "I- I love you so much... don't let me forget tonight, please, please, oh please... give it all to me..." She begged in a hazy, hungry plea, her mind already shut down since quite a while ago.

"We are one, now, my love, oh, my Kiran... and I shall never forget tonight..." He licked her lower lip before inserting his tongue into her mouth at the same time he dared another thrust, enjoying how a moan died in Kiran's throat under their kiss.

Although that night wasn't their first -- and far from being their last -- to them, it was, in truth,  the first night of the rest of their lives.

[emmaniamh13]

I can make it better, I can knead you tighter

Summary: Yoongi has been working 24/7 lately and Namjoon has had enough of seeing his best friend resembling a corpse walk through their apartment door at ungodly hours. So he forces him to relax. Little did he know, Yoongi would find a more fitting stress reliever for his body but Namjoon really didn't need to know that much.

Tags: Semi-Public Sex; Rimming; Fingering; Anal Sex; Bottom Yoongi; Top Taehyung; Slight Dom/Sub; Unprotected Sex (Stay Safe Kids)

Part 01 ; Part 2

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The door fell shut with a loud bang. Yoongi just wanted to get to his bed he was too tired to care about making too much noise

"Hyung is that you? God do you know what time it-"

Namjoon stopped in his steps after coming around the corner

"Dammit Hyung!" he cursed lowly "Have you looked in the mirror? You look like you've been hit by a bus. Multiple times" he emphasized with a frustrated huff

Yoongi just shrugged and tried to move past the younger, not in the mood for the other to pester him about his habits.

But Namjoon didn't let him, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the living room. Before Yoongi could process, he had been pushed onto the couch and locked into place by Namjoon's frame.

"I'm not letting you do this to yourself anymore Hyung! You're gonna take a few days off and if I have to imprison you for that to happen then so be it" he spoke while folding his arms in front of his chest for emphasis.

Yoongi just stared up at him bewildered, his tired mind trying to figure out what his friend and roommate  expected from him right now. When it looked like nothing more would come from Namjoon he felt like he needed to respond.

So he did.

"What?"

And he watched Namjoon deflate slightly

"Hyung" he whined

"Pay attention, will you? I'm not letting you go to work for the next few days that's what"

Now Yoongi had enough time to process and when the pieces slotted together, he literally jumped of the couch to protest only to be pushed back down by his dongsaeng, landing on the soft pillows with a huff

"Namjoon what the hell" he growled but the other just continued to block his way, unfazed.

"You have to promise me, you'll stay home tomorrow and actually sleep a little"

"The hell I will" the older threw back "I need to finish that project and you know it"

Namjoon nodded "Yeah I know" he answered matter-of-factly "but that project isn't due until the 20th and I know for a fact that you're nearly finished, so a few free days won't hurt" he stated

"Namjoon" he warned "Let me sleep I need to be out early tomorrow"

"You're not going anywhere tomorrow and that is final" Namjoon didn't move from his spot and his features seemed to brighten suddenly, and Yoongi sighed. That could only mean he had some sort of idea and most of them he's had, ended badly for Yoongi. Not that Namjoon didn't always have his best interest at heart, Yoongi was aware, but Namjoon's idea of fun and relaxation was quite different from his own- to put it nicely

"Except to a Massage Parlour"

Yoongi's eyes went wide

"What"

"You heard me. I'm gonna book you an appointment at this really good one not far from here. You'll love it I promise" he sounded excited but Yoongi just groaned

"Just please let me go. I'll try to take more breaks in between I promise" he started to whine, his body screaming desperately for much-needed rest

But Namjoon only shook his head "That's the plan and that's final. I'll drag you there if I have to"

"Okay. Okay I'll do it just let me get to bed. Please" if he weren't so sleep deprived he would have rather shoved his way through Namjoon's human barricade but well, that sadly wasn't the case

Namjoon lit up and immediately helped Yoongi off the couch to bring him to his room "Perfect! I'll ring first thing in the morning"

Yoongi only nodded slowly and waved him off, mumbling some curses under his breath as they walked into his room and as soon as Namjoon let go he let himself fall, sighing as he felt the familiar feel of soft mattress underneath.

He was out like a light.

He woke up to his alarm, groaning at the loud noise blaring through his ears and hitting directly against his brain.

A headache. Just great.

He didn't stop groaning, nearly falling off his bed in the process of trying to roll out of it. The all-nighters and dozen coffees probably weren't the best routine-idea he’s ever had.

He felt like shit. But he didn’t dwell on it.

He’s plan was to go to the kitchen to start his day with a coffee; the first out of another dozen he guessed; until he noticed that he couldn't. His door was locked.

Fucking locked.

Rattling at the door, he got more furious by the second. "Namjoon!" he barked "Did you lock me into my fucking room?" He yelled for him again when he didn't hear anything

"Yep" he heard the shout back

"What the fuck!"

"I told you, you're going to stay at home today and you agreed. Luckily I know you well enough to know that you'd try this" his voice sounded closer this time "You're going to stay in this room and do anything but work, then I'm going to drive you to the parlour. You'll feel better afterwards I promise. You're going to feel brand new in that worn-down body of yours" He was right in front of the door by now

"Open the door right now or I swear I'll-"

"I'm used to your threats by now so they're no use" Namjoon deadpanned "Go to sleep Yoongi or I'll knock you out so that your body has a chance to rest, you inconsiderate idiot"

"You can't just lock me in here! I'm a grown man and I can do whatever-"

"Yeah you might be but you're a man with absolutely zero consideration for the body you're inhabiting. So fuck off and rest for once.” he continued humorously “I'm going to work! See you"

---

He got pulled through the door so fast he didn’t even know what happened. All he knew was that Namjoon grabbed him, threw him into the car, drove like an idiot , nearly crashed into a fire hydrant, ended up here and yeeted him through the parlour door in a way Yoongi seriously started to question time, space and his life. All while managing to not utter a single word; which made the whole situation even weirder.

Namjoon was busy talking to the receptionist behind the wooden desk so all Yoongi could do was look around, analyse every nook and cranny just to find a meagre flaw to use as excuse and get out of here. He really didn’t fancy getting touched by a stranger; especially on areas that were anything other than his hands.

The reception desk was right at the front and beside it was a small, cozy looking sitting area. Past the desk led a hall to several doors on each side, probably various Massage rooms. It seemed clean and the receptionist friendly

Just like Yoongi had always imagined shops with services like this – basically using those he always saw on TV as his base of knowledge

Shit there wasn’t anything wrong with this place on first glance. And what the hell could he say anyway to make Namjoon let him off the hook?

The receptionist seems too friendly? The waiting area too comfy? The floor too clean?

Nope he was fuck-

“Hyung?”

“Huh?”

Both Namjoon and the receptionist were looking at him expectantly

“Mr. Park asked you to wait in room 4” Yoongi met the Man’s eyes then flickered shortly down to his chest, where his nametag read Jimin Park

“It’s the second door on the right. Taehyung will be with you shortly so just get comfortable”    

“Taehyung?” was that a name they used for woman nowadays?

Jimin nodded curtly, showing a friendly smile “Your Masseur”

Yoongi blanked for a second before he gave a quick  "ok” as response and hurriedly scurried towards room number 4.

The room was smaller and darker than the foyer but nevertheless it gave off a rather warm vibe, a lavender scent in the room hitting his nostrils instantly and soothing him slightly. In the middle stood a massage table with a hole in the top – probably to squeeze your face through. The rest of the room was just filled with a cabinet and a stool.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the scented whatever that floated the room. He was really nervous.

How does this work? Should he already strip? How many clothing items should he even get rid of? Or should he just wait? Jimin did tell him to get com-

Upon hearing the door open he nearly tripped with how quick he turned.

And then there he stood, like a deer caught in headlights, staring with shock-filled eyes at a complete stranger. A rather handsome one, he had to admit.

“So you must be Mr. Min” he spoke with a smile “it’s nice to meet you. My name’s Taehyung and I will be the one who’s going to be touching you today”

Yoongi wondered if this was a dream and if he should just punch himself in the face despite the answer to that, muscles seizing up even more, eyes widening in plain anxiousness. His masseur seemed to catch on to that, eyes also parting a bit further as he watched the display of sheer terror.

“Uh..” he started awkwardly “I’m sorry I thought I was being funny. You know, break the ice and..stuff” he grimaced, scratching the back of his neck in slight embarrassment.

Yoongi just nodded but not trusting his vocal cords to fabricate words right now.

He realized that this was really happening. Unless he pukes all over the room or faints right on the spot he won’t be able to get out of this. Namjoon is waiting right outside and if he makes a run for it - he'll notice.

Taehyung shut the door and began walking further into the room, heading for the cabinet and setting something on top of it- probably ignoring the way Yoongi flinched at the sound.

“So what massage option did you choose?” he asked with his back still turned

“Uh” Yoongi had no clue “M-My friend set me up for this so I- I don’t really know”

Did he just fucking stutter!?

Taehyung hummed “Ok no problem I’ll just check your profile” he turned to face the other, eyes meeting

And Yoongi was able to really look at him for the first time. He looked like he was in his early twenties, black, longish hair that fell over his forehead casually, a straight nose, full rosy lips, ears that could’ve been too big but complemented him perfectly and tanned skin that reminded him of honey.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Taehyung starting to move back to the door “You can strip and get comfortable under the towel. I’ll be back and knock on the door, just tell me if you’re ready or not.” He spoke calmly, grabbing the handle

Yoongi froze again “Strip?”

Taehyung also halted and turned around halfway “yeah for the massage” he smiled warmly “we don’t have a massive variety of massages but for most of them I need to be able to reach as much muscle as possible. Unless you chose a foot massage?”

Would Namjoon make such a fuss just over a foot massage? Nah he doubted that. So he shook his head

The masseur huffed an amused laugh “Well then I’ll need you out of those layers” he pointed at Yoongi’s black jeans and sweater with a certain glint in his eyes that Yoongi failed to notice

“Again, I’ll knock so just tell me if you need more time” and with that he left the room

So he decided to do just that. Strip

But to what extend? He didn’t know. And for him it was another reason to have another inner crisis.

Down to his trousers? To his underwear? Or completely nude? He just started to undress and by the time the expected knock came from the door he stood there in only his underwear, not knowing how much the young masseur wanted him to wear and he only had a few seconds to decide. All in or chicken out?

“Mr. Min? Are you ready?”

“Yeah just, just give me a second”      

and Yoongi just yanked the only clothing item left on his body down his legs – flinging it to the rest of his poorly folded pile and hurrying to the bed to get under the white sheet. Again he was overwhelmed with the decision of how much of himself he should cover with the cloth but he just decided to pull it all the way up to his neck.

Taehyung can fix it, if he needs to

Another knock resounded through the room “Ready?” And Yoongi heard himself call out a short “Yes!” – Probably a bit too harsh for a completely relaxed client about to get a massage

The door opened and in strolled his masseur with towels and various bottles in hand “I see you’ve made yourself comfortable” he spoke in a light tone and Yoongi just stayed quiet, not knowing if Taehyung was expecting a response.

“So” he continued, lowering his voice, perfectly fitting into the relaxing atmosphere with his fruity voice “I’ve brought multiple scented oils with me. Do you have any preferences or should I read them out loud and you pick or how do you want to do it?”

Yoongi thought about if he wanted to smell anything in particular right now but his mind was blank except anxiousness and the feeling of the table hole straining his face. At least he knew that he wasn’t going to get any extra wrinkles by lying here.

“No not really” he remembered to answer “You can pick if you like”

Taehyung gave a hum of acknowledgement “Alright. I can do that” From his position on the bed he heard rustling, the water tab running and stopping again. Footsteps followed – wandering from left to right. Then suddenly he felt a touch at his shoulder and he flinched, not expecting it.

“Oh sorry I should’ve said something” Taehyung apologized but Yoongi laughed it off nervously “It’s fine. I should have been ready for it”

With that the touch was back “I’m going to move the sheet to your lower back ok?”

After Yoongi consented he started lifting the fabric, Yoongi tensing at the feel of cold air hitting his bare back. “Good? I’m going to start with your arms alright?”

Yoongi noticed that Taehyung now tried to talk him through all the movements – Probably noticing his hesitance which didn’t take a body language expert to say the least. He confirmed another time and so he felt Taehyung’s fingers on him once again, slicked up with a rosy-smelling oil and starting to massage down the side of his right arm with a pressure that instantly soothed him.

“The pressure okay? Just speak up if you want it harder or softer” and the other only grunted, too lazy to move his mouth The masseur continued to stroke his arm, sometimes wedging his thumb into a knot below his armpit and eliciting a groan from the older.

Once he was done with the first arm he moved to the other to repeat the pattern.

“I’m going to move to your back now. Feel free to mention any areas you might have problems with” he spoke up again, voice low

“Everywhere” the other deadpanned

“What?”

“My back always hurts. Everywhere” when he didn’t get a response he continued “I work a job that requires a lot of sitting and -well – my friends like to say that I’m quite the workaholic” he elaborated further

“Alright” The masseur answered, sounding in thought “then with which part do you have problems the most?”

Yoongi mulled the question over in his head, thinking about different situations where he had to deal with back pain – which were a lot

“Well I think my lower back kills me a bit more than the rest” he chuckled drily “I have shit posture in general”

“Then I’ll do your upper back first and spend a bit more time on your lower back” the other suggested

“You’re the professional” Yoongi shrugged, which he assumed only looked like a light shoulder lift in his position but Taehyung got it anyway

So he started working his shoulders, feeling the other literally melt under his fingers and hearing him yelp once or twice when he tried to dig out a particularly tight knot. “Well even if you hadn’t told me about your back I would have felt it” he began “it’s like I’m massaging stone”

And he heard the older laugh for the first time, apparently finding the worrying state of his shoulders funny “Well it’s good that I warned ya then isn’t it?” he shot back playfully

Taehyung smiled and continued to press his fingers into different pressure points

“So what do you do for living then, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Uhm I’m a producer” came the muffled reply

“Oh? Impressive” he grinned “Well did you work on any songs that I might know?”

“I work more with Rap Artists so if you’re into that scenery you might- AH”

“Sorry” Taehyung apologized sheepishly, moving away from the base of his neck for the time being. “I do like Rap actually” the masseur continued the conversation “It’s not my main genre but I do listen to a few artists. So shoot! Maybe I’ll know someone” he encouraged

“Okay uhm- do you know Zico for instance? Or J-Hope? I’ve worked a lot with them until now” he paused, thinking “I’ve worked with DEAN as well. I don’t know if you might know him he’s more in the R&B scene -uh and I did a bit of stuff for a few kpop bands as well.”

“I actually know all of those artists!” The other exclaimed “Wow so you are quite the bigshot huh?” he teased

Yoongi chuckled “Nah nothing like that”

Taehyung hummed “Someone’s being modest here I see." He smiled "If I’m allowed to ask, how was it working with J-Hope? I’ve heard quite a lot about him, isn’t he like - one of the biggest Rappers in Korea? I mean, I’ve listened to his music and the lyrics sound so sincere. Like he’s telling a proper story, you know? I also love how he's not so stuck on Rap, there are quite a few songs from his that are slower, more emotional if that makes sense. I like to say I'm a fan”

Yoongi chuckled quietly at Taehyung’s excitement

“He’s really good to work with. Knows what he wants but is always open for change or another’s opinion, which in return allows him to try new stuff and see a perspective of things that he’s not familiar with himself. So yeah Hobi’s an amazing artist and an even better person. Not to mention a literal ray of sunshine so I enjoy working with him every time” he felt his mouth pull into a smile at the thought of Hoseok. He should text him again some time.

Taehyung's hands continued down Yoongi’s back “Wow you sound like you’re very fond of him. So I’m guessing by how you just called him that you know him more than just a co-worker? You friends?”

“Yeah. He’s the total social type so he gets on with literally anyone – well if he wants to that is. Even if you’re the grumpiest human on the planet he’ll get you to like him.” He chuckled breathily as the memory of their first meeting flooded his mind. God did he want to lock Hoseok into the toilet back then so that he wouldn’t have to hear his laugh every fucking 10 seconds.

Now it was one of his most favorite features that came with Hoseok, that made him - him. “I feel like we complete each other, as cheesy as it sounds. He’s so lively and I’m- well not that much. We’re complete opposites but I could never get mad or annoyed with him because I know that he always wants what's best for me. Fuck sorry that got a bit too deep didn’t it? Didn’t even notice I was rambling..” he trailed off quietly

Gosh was he friend-whipped

“You really adore him don’t you?” Taehyung answered after a while of comfortable silence

“I guess.. Again sorry, you didn’t need to know all that”

“It’s more than alright Mr. Min trust me. I asked didn’t i? It’s nice to hear about a person living a life in public; how he’s in private and not just how the tabloids portray him. How you just described him makes me instantly want to meet him.” He laughed

“Yoongi”

Taehyung’s hands faltered slightly “Sorry?”

“Call me Yoongi. After what I just told you I would feel uncomfortable if you keep calling me Mr. Min” he huffed “But yeah maybe if you’re up to it someday I can introduce you to him. He’s always excited to meet new people”

“I’d be more than just up for it” He answered quickly, smile seeping through his voice “So I’m done with your back is it okay if we move on to your legs now?”

“Right yeah” Yoongi felt the sheet being lifted from his lower back and settle lower, right before his back rounded into his arse. He realized that his breath caught a little in his throat at the mere thought of being exposed like that.

He had to admit to himself that he hadn’t gotten laid in ages due to being pent up in his studio nearly all of the time.

Damn, fuck Namjoon and his fucking valid points.

Plus, he had no idea why that thought just crossed his mind in the middle of a massage, when the masseur wasn’t even near an area where it would be acceptable to have thoughts like this. Not that it was acceptable in the first place.

And once this thought had broken through the barrier it had created a hole for more. And Taehyung’s hands really didn’t make it any better. More like the opposite, funny enough

The young masseur was now busy with kneading the flesh around Yoongi’s hips, pushing his thumbs into the muscles. Sometimes his fingers would slip a little lower- maybe a milli-centimetre under the sheet to reach the skin and that alone made Yoongi’s thoughts spiral

And it just felt so good.

Taehyung was moving his hands perfectly, with expertise and found just the right pressure for Yoongi to feel it through his muscles straight to his core. And that’s when he didn’t catch himself fast enough to notice the sound that just escaped his mouth. Only when Taehyung halted, did his eyes fly open in horror, realising how that moan just sounded. He knew it sounded dirty. But the other must have recognized it as a moan of pain-relief or something along those lines because he continued, moving his hands as if nothing happened.

After that embarrassing incident Yoongi made sure to keep quiet before he made another fool of himself. But that caution flew out the window rapidly when the Taehyung first began massaging tightly into his calves, then moving up to the back of his thighs. He spread his thumb and forefinger and slid up to where he had lifted the white cloth off his legs and back down again.

And sometimes – just sometimes – his thumb would slip toward his inner thigh and Yoongi felt it every time with an intensity, he didn’t want to admit. He begged Taehyung in his head to let off that spot. To avoid it. But he didn’t utter a word and sadly the masseur was no mind reader. So after a few times of slipping, Taehyung just gave up and just let his thumb slide freely. Over his inner thigh.

And yoongi felt himself twitch. Fucking twitch on a fucking massage table in a massage parlour getting a fucking massage from an unbelievable handsome young man. Yep these thoughts definitely made it better.

He cursed himself. He never guessed he would be the type to get a semi hard-on during a massage but his fingers were just. So. Good. The way he pushed his fingers into sore spots and how he dipped into his skin just to soothen it back out afterwards.

“Is it ok?” he heard the soft voice “You haven’t said anything in a while” Yoongi could just grunt hoping he understood it as the consent to continue. And he did, to the elders relief. It even seemed like the feedback spurred him on, his fingers digging into his skin a bit harder, drawing circles a bitdeeper.

And then his finger ground hard against his inner thigh and it caught Yoongi by surprise. Which led a deep grunt to escape his throat. But this time Taehyung didn’t stop and only ground over the inside more often, with more pressure – obviously noting that Yoongi seemed to squirm whenever he let his fingers glide over the skin there.

Laying on the table he started feeling too restricted, too crushed and he really didn’t know how he was supposed to get out of this without the masseur noticing. The said man started to switch legs, starting the same routine on the other. But this time he knew which buttons to press.

Yoongi had been fairly quiet throughout the massage but once he pressed there, he saw the other tense. Felt it.

And he liked it. The way Yoongi was trying to keep it together but wasn't aware of how tight his grip on the cloth below him had gotten. The way his moans sounded absolutely filthy and Taehyung couldn't stop imagining how sweet he would sound if Yoongi let him touch him. Properly. Because Taehyung wanted too. Really wanted too.

He knew this wasn't professional and normally he wouldn't encourage this. This has never really happened before. Of course he had clients that were moaners, or had fetishes that Taehyung really didn't want to feed. But Yoongi was different. He was rough around the edges and looked intimidating as hell. But he had the biggest heart for people that he cared about, even if he didn't like to admit it.

And he was just so fucking pretty. He wanted to ruin that porcelain skin the moment he saw it without fabric blocking his sight. And just the thought of tearing him down, to make him leave his tough facade so that he's only left with broken sobs and a chant of Taehyung's name on his tongue. Yeah. Now that's what he really wanted to witness

So the same process occurred, Taehyung paying more attention to the inner thighs and Yoongi trying not to drool or rut against the bed. But the next thing Yoongi knew, he was letting out a long, guttural, breathy moan, not even trying to hold back and he felt himself leak onto the table beneath him. The young masseur had decided to take both his hands and deliberately press and grind up and down his inner thighs.

He did it again, just to test, and again Yoongi couldn’t help himself; The moan escaped and his breath was shaky, desperately trying to get his act together but it was just so hard

“Taehyung” he groaned, half-biting into the fabric of his face hole

The other hummed in acknowledgement

“W-What are you doing?”

“Why. Don’t you like it” it wasn’t a question and as to confirm, he ran both his thumbs down the inside of Yoongi’s thighs until he reached the bed underneath with both, so close to his already painfully squashed dick but yet so far. Yoongi nearly whined at how sensitive he was but was able to not embarrass himself entirely - though a whimper still made it past his lips

“Taehyung stop I-I’m going to-“ another swipe; this time back towards his ass, grazing it lightly with his nails

“ghn”

“Seems to me that you like it Hyung. I mean look at you. Trying to act like you’re not half-rutting against the fucking bed” Yoongi’s eyes flew open. He hadn’t even noticed-

“Oh don’t stop just because I caught you now. But if you really want me to stop…just say the word” His voice was sincere; the complete opposite of his fingers that wandered further and over his cheeks, giving them a good squeeze and spreading the oil over his ass at the same time. Yoongi could feel the fingers wander towards his crack slowly and then hesitating

“Can I?” Taehyung sounded unsure

“Please” came his strained reply. And from there on he knew it himself - he was oh so fucked

[pcygoldenchild]

𝑅𝐸𝒟 𝒮𝐼𝑅𝐸𝒩 𝒫𝒶𝓇𝓉 7

🚨summary: You’re a dangerous woman in the mafia who gets a rather interesting relationship with 9 equally dangerous men who fall to your feet willing to please you.

🚨warnings: NSFW, violence, anal, cunnilingus/ fellatio, dirty talk, BDSM, sexual intercouse, gang bang, masturbation...(does not pertain to all parts)

𝒲𝑒𝒹𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝒜𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓃𝑜𝑜𝓃 1𝓅𝓂

“Wake up sleeping beauty.” you heard a voice say. You shifted in bed but didn’t get up. You knew it was later than usual but you were still asleep. Maybe it was from the constant rounds you had to go through all day yesterday. You don’t know what got into them but they were super horny and all needed you. It went from the minute you woke up until you just crashed. It’s been a week since their business dinner and ever since then they were really star struck with you. You figured once they saw you in action, thier want for you skyrocketed. And from the way they’ve been fucking you, you’d say it’s a safe assumption to make.

“She’s so pretty and peaceful when she’s asleep. You can count her eyelashes and watch her lips move as she breathes. You almost forget she’s the scariest woman alive.” you hear Baekhyun say.

“You sound like you’re in love.” Yixing teases and they all quietly laugh.

“You say that like we’re not all in love with her. I don’t know why you all are laughing. Just last night after she passed out, all of you were talking about not letting her go.” Baekhyun retorts shutting the laughing men up.

“Well you’re right but we can’t let her know that. Not now or it’ll get to her head and she’ll tease us to death today.” Jongin said.

“Too late. Maybe if you weren’t all crowded around my bed talking about me I wouldn’t know, but here you all are. And I love you too darlings.” you say as you turn over rubbing your face and opening your eyes. You see them all clad in sweatpants. Usually they only wore their boxers around.

“Well we had to wake you up princess. It’s getting late and it’s your big day.” Junmyeon said smiling at you.

“Do I have to go? I mean, everyone knows what I’ve done this year. It’s all they talk about. Do I really have to have an event for it.” you whine. Tonight was your business dinner and you were excited before but now you were tired and slightly sore and just wanted to spend the day not around a bunch of people who secretly hated you.

“Baby it’s already planned and way too late to cancel. And you are way too important to not attend your own dinner.” Minseok said as if stating the obvious. You sit up letting the sheet fall exposing your beautiful breast and pointed nipples. You hear them all choke and clear their throats. You look at them confused. It’s not like they’ve never seen you naked before. In fact, they’ve seen every part of you.

“What?” you ask almost offended at their staring.

“I’ve never wanted to lick those breast so much.” Minseok says in a sort of whisper as if talking to himself.

“I’m not stopping you Minnie. What’s wrong with you guys? I’m not made of glass.” you say as you push the rest of the sheet off you and sit on your knees, bare in front of them. Some turn away to look at each other or the ceiling; just anywhere but you.

“Ok what is going on?” you ask a little scared. You just heard them talk about how much they loved you and now they weren’t even looking at you.

“We uh...we can’t touch you today.” Kyungsoo said rubbing the back of his neck looking down. They can’t touch you today? Who’s stupid idea was that. You figured it had to do with their monthly checkup. You all get checked every month to make sure you’re all clean even though you’re only fucking eachother. It’s still really important and you made that a rule once this started. But that usually never stopped them, in fact it made them even more hungry for you.

“Excuse me? Did something go wrong at your checkup?” you ask almost rudely and concerned.

“No no, nothing like that. We just agreed not to touch you today. At least not until after your dinner.” Chanyeol said facing your nightstand.

“And who’s idea was this?” you ask folding your arms across your chest. You hated this.

“We all decided. It’s best we try to compose ourselves and let this day be your day. That’s why we’ve been so....needy these past couple days.” Jongdae said sitting down on the bed with his back facing you.

“You’re joking right? If it’s my day, shouldn’t I get what I want? Do you seriously think you can go a whole day without touching me? There is literally no reason for this decision except to torture yourselves. And I found it quite rude that none of you are looking at me when I’m talking.” you laugh. There was no way they could pull this off. They couldn’t even look at you without getting a boner, which all of them had.

“We have to try baby. Which means you cannot tease us. You’ll only make things harder than they need to be. And we can’t exactly look at you when your naked like that. We can see your pussy just...taunting us.” Junmyeon says as he groans the last sentence.

“Hyung you really didn’t need to say that. I’m already trying not to cum in my pants.” Sehun said in a whine.

“Absolutely fucking not. I didn’t agree to this. I’ll act as I want, I don’t care how hard you get. It’s your fault for making this dumb rule.” you snap back. You watch as all thier bodies tense and they sigh.

“Please don’t make us have to punish you tonight. We’ll be downstairs when you’re ready. You have to eat and get ready for tonight. Don’t take long.” Minseok says as they all head towards the door. Once they leave you plop down on the bed and throw a silent tantrum. They couldn’t even look at you, fuck that. You were going to tease the little shit heads until you couldn’t anymore.

You walked downstairs after getting ready for operation one. You were clad in a red see though lingerie set and nothing else. They were all sitting in the living room looking so sad, but it was their faults. Once they saw you they all sighed; they should have known you wouldn’t comply.

“Y/N why? I specifically said not to-,” Junmyeon started but you cut him off as you slowly walked to the center of the room and sat on the table.

“I don’t give a fuck about what you said Jun. This isn’t my agreement so I’ll do what I want like I said I would.” You smile at him before laying back on the table and stretching out, all eyes on you. You take the fruit bowl next to you and start eating making sure to over use your lips and tongue.

“She’s going to destroy us all.” you heard Sehun mumble while staring hard at your pussy. You laughed and sat up to see him standing infront of you.

“You can taste if you want Sehunnie. I taste better than this fruit. But you can decide for yourself.” you smirk as you pull your panties to the side fully exposing your wet cunt. He groans and kneels down infront of you almost ready to taste you. Before he can, Minseok pulls him away and glares at you.

“Y/N we’re warning you. This won’t end well for you.” he stated giving you a death stare. They were never unbearable when the punished you so you weren’t scared. You brought your hand down to your cunt and plunged two fingers in you while staring directly into his eyes. You let out a loud moan at the stretch and whined ‘Minnie’ once you started fucking yourself. They were all watching you intently as you moaned and fingered yourself looking at thier cocks twitching in their pants.

“Let’s go. Now.” Junmyeon commanded the boys as he got up and walked down the hall. They all followed except Minnie who glared at you and clenched his jaw so tight you thought he’d break it.

“We’re going to our study. Don’t come in there. Don’t call for us. Don’t bother us. Since you want to be such a fucking brat, we have to lock ourselves away from you. We’ll see you in a couple hours. Get ready for your dinner.” and with that he leaves down the hall. You fall back on to the table and let out an insanely loud groan. What the absolute fuck? You pushed them so far they are now avoiding you so they won’t fall to your temptation. What a sad “special day” this is.

»»————-　————-««

𝒲𝑒𝒹𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝒩𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 11𝓅𝓂

Your dinner sucked so bad. You were absolutely bored and didn’t care to be there. EXO weren’t even paying you any attention and it was your night. You even had to arrive and leave separately from them. They avoided you the remainder of the day until it was time for your dinner and then ignored you during that dinner. They left before you did to go home. You were so annoyed and sad to not have them loving you. You’d grown so used to it that them giving you the cold shoulder was killing you.

You got home and everything was dark. You figured they all went to sleep which made you even more upset. You walked up to your room and stepped in not looking up. You kicked your shoes off and tore your stupid dress off like a toddler throwing a tantrum. When you finally looked up, you saw them all standing there staring at you. Then you looked at the bed and saw it filled with stuff. There were paddles, gags, butt plugs, whips, bondages, vibrators. Oh my. You swallowed thickly and stared at them. You were in for a really bad punishment.

“Come on Y/N. Don’t waste our time.” Baekhyun said deeply making you jump. You hurry over to the front of the bed and look down at your feet. You were terrified. They were never this scary with you, never this angry. Yixing came up to you and tore your panties off your body making you jump. He pushed you on to the bed where you got to really see the materials. You could feel yourself getting more and more scared, so you do what anyone would.

“Daddies I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have pushed you!” you start to tear up as they all just stare at you, emotionless.

“Gag her.” is all Minseok says before Jongin gags your mouth with a fairly small gag. You could say words if you needed to but not sentences and you’d still be muffled. He then tied your hands in front of you using silk ties.

“So, a spanking first seems appropriate.” Minseok continues handing Kyungsoo a black leather paddle. You whimper against the gag in your mouth. Anytime he gave you a spanking, it was his hand and for mediocre reasons. This was another story; he looked more than angry. He yanked your body over to a chair and pulled you over his lap. Everyone else came to turn to you and watch.

“Count. If I don’t hear those numbers clearly, I’m starting over. I don’t want to hear anything else. Do not move or I will start over. Do you understand?” he said pulling your hair to make you look at him. You nod and say ‘yes daddy’ as best you can with the gag in your mouth. He pushed your head down and plucked your ass making you jump a little. Then a hard smack landed on your ass making you shudder. You took a second to make sure you didn’t scream before saying ‘one’. Another smack landed on the same cheek harder making you scream ‘two’. This went on and on for 30 smacks. Your face was full of tears. Your ass stung so bad you could have swore you were bleeding. Your abs hurt from being bent over his legs, tightening everytime he hit you.

He pulls you up by the waist and makes you kneel infront of him. Your weak body slumps forward out of being tired and not wanting him to see your face. He turns you around to face the rest of them and pulls your hair to make you look up at them. Chanyeol comes up to you and squats down and gently wipes your tears. You lean into his hand and close your eyes. He smacks your face and laughs.

“I may be your favorite, but you weren’t very nice to me earlier. Stand up.” he says as he walks away to the bed. You stand up on weak legs and slowly follow him not looking at any of the glaring men. The bed was now set up differently. There was a chain and clasp hanging from the ceiling and bondage straps on the bed. He pointed you to get on the bed and you did so. Sehun came over and put your hands above your head connecting them to the clasp then tied your kneeling legs to the straps on the bed. You looked at him with pleading eyes and he just laughed.

“Look at you. Don’t you remember toying with me?Reap what you sow slut.” he spits out pinching your nipple. You let out a whimper and he slaps your face.

“Shut it.” he says before smiling wickedly and walking away. You were crying again. They knew you were just upset with yourself. Upset for making them this angry with you. Nothing could make you more upset than making your doms angry. If you were ever uncomfortable you’d use your safe word no questions asked, so they weren’t worried.

“Do you know what these are?” Chanyeol said as he placed an array of tools on the bed.

“These are nipple clasps. The metal kind since those are the best.” he said putting them on your nipples making you back away but not moving much since you were tied up.

“These are tassel whips. You like these don’t you?” he says as he drags the whip up over your stomach and nipples. You close your eyes and try not to show how good it felt. Then a hard slap hits your pussy making you choke. You open your eyes as he pulls the whip back again and slaps your lips again harder. You let out a scream as you try to close your legs but the restraints won’t budge.

“You like playing with yourself right? You like to tease us?” he said handing the whip to Jongdae who moves to sit behind you.

“Answer me slut!” Chanyeol barks making you shake your head frantically.

“Lying to us? Even now you’re lying to us.” you hear Jongdae whisper in your ear before slapping your back and ass with the whip. You twitch and cry out making him laugh. Chanyeol picks up what looks like a vibrator and comes to move in front of you.

“This is my favorite. It’s a dildo and a vibrator so you get both the satisfaction. We just stick it in here and use these straps to keep it in place and it fucks you itself. Now for the fun part, watching you be denied the one thing you want the most.” he says as he shoves the dildo inside your wet cunt making you gasp. He gets up and presses the button turning it on and you immediately can’t take it. He has the intensity so high you could cum any minute. You squirm in your restraints and scream out as the dildo fucks you. Baekhyun places a camera right infront of your core and records you being fucked. You keep squirming and jumping making Jongdae give you another smack while whispering ‘stay fucking put slut’.

“Look at this boys. Her cunt is dripping all over the sheets. She’s about to cum, aren’t you? You’re so wet to be tied up slut.” Baekhyun says pushing the camera forward. The sound of your wetness is loud mixed with your moans. You feel it coming and can’t help but release fast panting moans. Just as your stomach tightens, it stops. You cry letting your head fall; you knew it was too good to be true. Yixing pulls your hair to make you look at him. He’s smiling exposing his dimple at your red eyes and tear stained face.

“I got you a gift.” he said as he brings a silver butt plug from behind his back. Your eyes widen and you let out a whimpering ‘please’. They all just laugh as he trails the plug down your back. He lays down to get a better angle and spreads your ass cheeks. You whimper again when you feel the cold lube slide between your cheeks. He uses his fingers to spread you out in prep for the metal object. You shiver as you feel the metal sitting at your entrance slowly being pushed in. More tears fall as it fills you to the max. Then the vibrator suddenly goes off again making you push back on Yixing’s hand forcing the plug all the way in.

“Oops. It was an accident sweetheart.” is all Jongin says as he smirks at your shaking form.

“You look pathetic crying like that’s going to stop us. You didn’t listen, you have to learn your lesson.” he adds making you cry more. You feel your orgasm coming and then going when the vibratory stops again. You let out an annoyed groan and glare at them.

“Uh oh, I think we made her mad. She’s giving us her deadly eyes.” Baekhyun says walking up to you holding your chin. Your hips involuntarily thrust up when the low vibration starts again.

“You want to cum don’t you whore?” Minseok asked with a sinful smirk. You nod and moan out when he pulls on your nipple clamps. You were shaking from the combination of the low vibration of the dildo and your sensitive nipples.

“Her nipples are so pink. Look at how red her neck and cheeks are. God, she gets so colorful like this.” Kyungsoo teases as his hands trace all over your body making you twitch. You look up at him with innocent eyes just begging him to fuck you. He bends down to kiss a tear that falls before he rubs his thumbs lightly over your sensitive nipples. You whine out and try to pull away but he hovers over you, lips next to your ear. “Imagine having to deal with a boner that feels like this everytime it rubs against something. Not being able to fuck the tight pussy of my little brat. And not being able to cum from my hand because nothing compares to fucking your pussy that’s all mine. And it was all your fault slut. Next time listen to your fucking daddies and this won’t happen.” he grits through his teeth in your ear before twisting the clamps.

You were actually so upset and sensitive that you became numb. They toyed with you denying your orgasm 5 more times by now. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Then the dildo started again only this time it was too much. You came in under a minute and squirted all over the bed. Your body shuddered and your eyes rolled back as the vibrator kept going. You couldn’t breath as your second orgasm crashed over you making you squirt again only much more this time. You open your eyes to look at them and beg ‘please’ over and over again. They looked at you as if they were deaf, not even blinking at your crying pleads.

You came 5 more times, squirting every single time before your body gave out. You were so overstimulated it hurt. Your cunt dripped your cum and juices as you hung drained almost lifeless. You guess the state of your body is what made them stop. You were semi unconscious when you felt strong arms hold you once your arms and legs were unbound. You were carried bridal style to a large bathroom and put in a freshly run bath with Minseok and Junmyeon. Everyone else stayed in the bathroom watching you. The hot water instantly relaxing your exhausted frame. They washed you gently and slowly. Junmyeon sat behind you and Minseok in front. Minseok massaged your legs and feet while Junmyeon your back and tired arms.

“Baby?” he whispers in your ear. You flinch once you feel his lips on your neck. You’re laying with your eyes closed, tired and drained from crying so much.

“I think we went too hard on her. She’s flinching even unconscious.” Minseok whispers.

“I hated watching that. Seeing her crying for us. God, I feel like a monster.” Chanyeol sighed. You didn’t know he felt that way given how scary he was.

“Look at our baby. She’s just lying there. Did you see the look in her eyes right before she passed out? She looked so lifeless.” Baekhyun said almost crying himself. You moved in Junmyeon’s arms putting your face in his neck letting out a small whimper as a tear slipped down your face.

“Princess it’s ok. Shh don’t cry, we’ve got you. You’re ok. It’s all over now.” he said stroking your cheek softly. You turned more and curled up into his arms as more tears fell.

“I’m sorry daddy. I’m so sorry I made you hate me.” you whisper into his chest. You were in shock and saying things you knew weren’t true, but in your state you felt it. You felt like you messed up teasing them like that. You disobeyed them with the one thing they asked you not to do. You were a brat who didn’t get her way and acted out. So your little state made you think they hated you, that they didn’t want a disobedient brat. He quickly shushed you before holding you tight.

“God princess we could never hate you. I’m sorry we were so hard on you. We just had to punish you for being bad. We love you so much. Relax sweetheart, we’ve got you.” he said hushing you. You heard everyone let out repetitive ‘no’s’ and sighs.

“She thinks we hate her. How are we going to fix this? I can’t think straight knowing we broke her or made her uncomfortable.” Sehun said panicked.

“Sehun calm down. We’ll figure that out later. Right now we have to take care of her.” Minseok reassured.

You don’t remember much after that since you fell asleep in his arms as he rocked you while playing in your hair. You do remember feeling the lips of all of them kiss your eyes, nose, and lips. You also remember hearing them all confess ‘I love you’ a million times before falling asleep.

(This was an experimental part to say the least! I wasn’t to sure how I felt about this one but it’s a development part. Sorry again for it being so long. I really got into it and didn’t want to take out any details. Would love feedback on how you guys felt about this chapter. Thank you as always!

xoxo golden🕊)

[elmelloill]

Lucky Jacket

AUs are dangerous because sometimes you’ll write a chapter and then your friend will draw art for it and then you’ll end up talking about the clothes characters wear and then you end up writing 2500 words in the AU that don’t belong anywhere in the fic but you just have them now so you’ve gotta post them somewhere, right? 

Anyway. This is because @matte-bat and i started talking about Klavier’s leather jacket on twitter. 

Drabble for my klapollo college AU, Anyway, Here’s Guilty Love, taking place the next semester so I can ignore all the angst stuff that hasn’t actually happened in the fic yet. 

As always, god I hope the readmore works on mobile otherwise i’m sorry

Klavier Gavin was, in general, a very punctual person. Although fashionable in everything else, he was rarely fashionably late, and so when Apollo spent fifteen minutes sitting in the quad waiting for his boyfriend to arrive for their date that evening, he started to get legitimately concerned.

Two texts had already gone unanswered. Frowning at his phone, Apollo sat on the picnic bench, tapping his toe, for another thirty seconds before deciding he might as well try to figure out what was going on. And if Klavier was on his way, the two of them would just run into each other.

That’s what Apollo fully expected to happen, but he made it all the way to the Gavinners house without encountering any tall platinum blonds. Somewhat perplexed, he stood on the doorstep for a moment, and just as he was about to knock, the door opened in front of him.

“Hey, Klav—” he began, but it was Daryan on the other side of the door.

“Good, you’re here,” Daryan said. He looked troubled, and Apollo felt a flutter of worry in his stomach.

“Yeah, uh, is Klavier…”

“He’s fine,” Daryan assured him, rolling his eyes. “He’s just having…a moment.”

“O…kay?”

Daryan leaned against the wall. “You know his leather jacket, right? The one that like, starts to dissolve if he wears it in the rain?”

Apollo nodded. He knew it very well.

It had been a gift from Klavier’s host family in Germany. To many, the jacket might have been deemed unwearable many years ago, but Klavier had been very creative. Loose threads had been diligently trimmed, fraying edges artfully concealed, lost zipper pulls replaced with tiny silver Gavinners charms. The sleeves, too short after Klavier’s high school growth spurt, were in a state of being permanently rolled up, and Klavier managed to make it look like the hem was supposed to be cropped short by pairing the jacket with well-chosen graphic tees. The entire thing probably would have been uncomfortably tight around his shoulders by now if years of wear hadn’t gently stretched and softened the leather—it had quite literally grown with him.

Klavier’s attachment to the jacket was a bit of a puzzle, but then again, many things about Klavier were a bit of a puzzle. He had come back from Germany with a whole new vocabulary, after all, so it wasn’t too strange that he had also returned with a jacket that apparently doubled as something of a security blanket. Klavier called it “good luck,” but whether there was any rationale behind that declaration remained unknown.

“Well, it ripped,” Daryan explained.

Apollo frowned, confused. He was fairly certain the jacket had already ripped, multiple times, and Klavier had been playing it off as an intentional fashion choice for at least a year.

“Okay, understatement,” Daryan went on, noticing Apollo’s doubt. “One of the elbows disintegrated.”

Apollo’s frown turned to a grimace. “Ah.”

“Yeah. So he’s, uh, mourning, I guess.”

Of course he was.

Apollo sighed. “I’ll go talk to him.”

The door to Klavier’s bedroom was slightly ajar, so Apollo pushed his way hesitantly into the room.

Klavier sat cross-legged on the floor, the jacket spread out on his lap. He held the sleeve in one hand and a needle and thread in the other, and he was apparently attempting to sew a patch over the missing elbow. A questionable choice, Apollo thought, but he could probably pull it off.

As Apollo watched, Klavier very slowly poked the needle through the sleeve, and very slowly dragged the thread through. It almost worked, but as he pulled to tighten the thread, a crack snaked through the leather and the material around the thread crumbled into pieces. Klavier’s shoulders slumped.

“Verdammt,” he muttered.

“Hey, Klav,” Apollo said quietly, and Klavier jumped.

“Oh! Apollo,” he said, brushing a hand through his bangs in an attempt to hide how startled he had been. Then his eyes widened. “Oh. Shit. What time is it?”

Apollo chuckled. “You’re very late.”

Klavier looked pained. “Ach. Schatzi, I’m sorry, I—”

“Don’t worry about it. I heard there’s been a tragedy.” He dropped to the floor next to Klavier to take a closer look at the jacket. “Eugh. That doesn’t look good.”

Klavier sighed. “I’m afraid I’m just making it worse.”

“Hm.” Apollo wished he could say otherwise, but it really did seem like the sleeve was beyond repair. “And you can’t wear it like that?”

Apollo was doubtful, but he wouldn’t put anything past Klavier.

Dejectedly, Klavier shrugged the jacket on. No, there really isn’t any way to make that look stylish, is there?

The end of the torn sleeve looked awkwardly orphaned from the rest of the jacket, and as Klavier experimentally bent his arm, the rip in the material only broadened.

Even so, Klavier looked somewhat hopeful, as if he wished Apollo would tell him it really didn’t look all that bad, actually.

“Hm,” Apollo said instead. The glint of hope in Klavier’s eyes died.

He sighed heavily and gingerly removed the jacket, resting it on his lap again. The two of them looked down at it.

“Klavier,” Apollo said slowly. Sometimes, after a long life, old leather jackets have to move on to the big motorcycle gang in the sky, where their zippers never get stuck and they can listen to as much rock music as they want… “I think you need a new jacket.”

Klavier sniffed. “But…”

“Besides,” Apollo pointed out, “it’s not even cold enough for a jacket.” It was October—outside was a balmy 76 degrees.

Klavier pouted. “It was part of my outfit,” he said, his voice quiet. He ran a finger over the torn edge.

Apollo bumped their shoulders together. “I’m sorry, Klav. I know it was your favorite.”

Klavier gave a small, disconsolate nod, then carefully folded the jacket and stood.

“You’re probably starving,” he said apologetically. “We can go.”

He took a moment to place the jacket on his bed, then followed Apollo downstairs.

“You can hang it on your wall,” Apollo suggested. “You know—Miles Edgeworth style.”

Klavier blinked, then let out a short laugh. “Okay, Apollo. Point made. It’s just a jacket, after all.”

Apollo’s bracelet squeezed slightly at that, but he decided to let it slide.

~~~

Apollo Justice was on a mission.

When Clay woke up Saturday morning the following week, he looked across the room to see Apollo already awake and dressed, sitting at his desk and poring over his laptop.

“Are you doing homework…?” he asked doubtfully. Although Apollo was perhaps slightly more studious than average, 10 a.m. on a Saturday was a little much.

Apollo didn’t even look his direction. “No. Hey, do you know any good thrift stores? Besides these ones.”

Squinting at Apollo’s screen, Clay could see a map of the city, scattered with red pins.

“Uh, not really. Why are you looking for thrift stores?”

Apollo needed for a thrift store because both shopping malls that he could reach via city bus had proven woefully inadequate when it came to providing a replacement for a cherished leather jacket. He was moving on to Plan B.

He explained the situation to Clay, who apparently knew Klavier well enough by this point that he wasn’t surprised in the slightest.

“Well,” Clay said. “I didn’t really have any plans for today, anyway.”

Apollo blinked. “You don’t need to come…”

“I’m closer to his size, aren’t I? Let’s find your boyfriend a jacket.”

Then Clay called Ema, who apparently knew the jacket’s history and was surprisingly sympathetic, and Ema called Kay, who was the only one in their extended friend group who had a car. Soon the four of them were pulling away from campus in Kay’s black sedan, Ema in the passenger seat while Apollo called out directions from his phone from the back.

The first store was a bust for leather jackets, although Kay found some sunglasses and Ema spent a long time looking at ties. Clay snatched up a nebula sweatshirt at the next shop, and Apollo actually found really nice suit vest at the third. The fourth store had a wide selection of jackets, but they were all either too worn, too big, or the wrong color.

By late afternoon, Apollo was starting to get very discouraged. The number of stores on his list was dwindling, and, while the four of them had all found some great cheap purchases, their original goal was yet unfulfilled.

“Maybe you can contact the host family,” Kay suggested as they left the second-to-last store. “Find out what brand it is, and buy one online?”

He had thought of that, although he hadn’t needed to go so far as to reach out to the family—he remember the tag on the inside of the jacket. And although the original wasn’t in stock anymore, there were numerous others he could have chosen from—if he wanted to spend his next two paychecks from Mr. Wright, that was. He sighed.

“That’s kind of a last resort,” he admitted. Klavier deserved it, of course, but…ouch.

But his optimism was wearing thin by the time they walked into the final store on his list. It was one of the nicer places they had visited—Kay was immediately drawn to a display of gloves, and Ema drifted over to the selection of button-down shirts—but when Apollo finally found the men’s jackets, he knew right away he would be disappointed. There was one leather jacket, but he could already tell it was too big.

But the rest of his friends were still looking around, so he wandered the aisles absently, running his fingers across a rack of shirts.

“Ah! Pollo!”

Apollo looked up sharply to see Clay skid to a stop at the end of the aisle. He spread his arms wide. He was wearing a leather jacket.

For a moment, Apollo could only stare.

“It’s…that’s…”

“Perfect, right?” Clay said. “And it’s super comfortable, too. I literally don’t want to take it off.”

Reluctant to celebrate just yet, Apollo walked in a circle around Clay, half-expecting to find that the back of the jacket was covered in some elaborate rhinestone monstrosity, or that it had some weird smell. But it was just a classic black leather jacket with a few tasteful zippered pockets, and it seemed barely worn. It fit Clay really well, too, and although Clay was shorter than Klavier, they had a similar build.

“Where did you find it?” He was faintly afraid that a customer would storm up to them imminently and accuse Clay of snatching the article of clothing out of their own basket.

Clay gestured vaguely. “Over there, on a rack. Someone must have put it back in the wrong spot.”

Tentatively, Apollo flipped over the price tag, and exhaled in relief. A little pricey, but nothing like the ones he had seen online.

“It’s perfect,” he agreed finally. Clay beamed.

The four of them made their purchases and returned to campus. Back in his room Apollo carefully wrapped up the jacket in tissue paper and put it in a plain paper shopping back that he had lying around. Then he paused.

Klavier’s birthday had passed in the summer. Their six-month anniversary had been last month. Christmas was much too long from now. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t just give Klavier a gift out of the blue, but it would be nice if there was some occasion…

He was idly scrolling through Facebook that evening when it came to him.

One this day: one year ago.

Belong was the image Klavier had made to advertise the first meeting of the Ivy Pre-Law Society.

That’s as good an excuse as any, he thought, smiling, even if it was a couple days off.

He texted Klavier to make sure he was around, then headed over to the Gavinners house.

Sam let him in. Klavier was in his room, sitting at his desk doing homework. On a Saturday night. Apollo would never not find it amusing that his boyfriend was a bigger nerd than he was.

Klavier turned around curiously when Apollo rapped a knuckle lightly against the door.

“Schatzi,” he said, raising his eyebrows, “what’s up?”

Apollo held out the bag. “Don’t worry, you didn’t need to get me anything.”

Frowning, Klavier accepted it. “What’s this?”

“Your, uh, we-started-our-club-one-year-ago present,” Apollo explained. He shrugged. “I dunno. Just open it.”

Klavier dug into the bag and unwrapped the jacket. His mouth fell open.

“Apollo…” he breathed.

Apollo rubbed his neck. “I know your old one meant a lot to you, and I know I can’t really replace it, but…I dunno, this one probably isn’t as nice? But it seemed really comfortable, so, um…” He bit his lip. “Hopefully it fits, at least?”

Wordlessly, Klavier unzipped the jacket and put it on. It did fit, like a glove. Klavier straightened out the sleeves and seemed momentarily surprised that they reached all the way to his wrists.

“Apollo,” he began, as he adjusted the lapels and flipped up the collar, “you didn’t have to…”

“Well, I wanted to,” Apollo said. Then he smiled wryly. “And you’re not really acting like someone who’s actually about to refuse a gift.”

Klavier, who was partway through securing the zipper, paused. He reddened slightly. “Well. It is very comfortable…”

Apollo laughed. “Good. It looks good.”

Klavier lifted his head, and Apollo noticed that his eyes looked a little shinier than usual. “Thank you, Apollo. This is…you really didn’t have to, but…it’s perfect.”

Apollo relaxed. “I know it’s not really the same as the old one…” he started to say, but Klavier shook his head.

“That one was special because it was a gift from people I care about,” he replied. “And so is this, ja? No less special.” He stretched his shoulders. “And look—no splitting seams!”

“I really can’t believe the old one lasted that long,” Apollo marveled.

Klavier took a breath. “Debatable that it really lasted,” he admitted. He stood and crossed the room to check his reflection in the mirror hanging behind his door. “I may actually be able to wear this for a concert without worrying about a wardrobe malfunction.”

Apollo narrowed his eyes. “Do you ever actually worry about that?”

Tilting his head, Klavier considered this. “No, not really. All part of the show, ja?” He grinned at Apollo over his shoulder, and Apollo rolled his eyes.

Klavier admired his reflection for a moment longer, then turned. “But schatz, now I feel bad. I did not get you a club anniversary present.”

“Eh, I’m sure you’ll find some way to make it up to me.”

“Will I now?” Klavier’s lips spread into a smile. He came to stand in front of Apollo, resting his hands on Apollo’s waist.

Apollo tried to suppress his own smile as he looked up at Klavier. “Yeah, you’re smart, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Klavier murmured, leaning in and capturing his lips.

Apollo responded by grabbing the lapels of Klavier’s jacket and pulling him closer. It was strangely satisfying to do so without worrying that the fabric might come apart in his hands.  

~~~

The next morning, Apollo woke to a text from Clay.

Clay [10:03 AM]: so...... i guess klavier liked his new jacket

One of Apollo’s arms was trapped awkwardly under a snoozing Klavier’s head, so he typed out a succinct message with one hand.

Apollo [10:04 AM]: shut up

Clay [10:04 AM]: you’re welcome ;)

[worksofphiction]

Hi! For the request thing, can you please write a really angsty hurt comfort sick fic with a happy ending? Maybe friends to lovers. Preferable if Phil is the one going through most of the hurt and being comforted but doesn't necessarily have to focus on one person. Either this or a Hogwarts au with insecure but talented Hufflepuff Phil and very kind and loving Slytherin Dan?

Itching with Jealousy (The Chicken Pox Fic)

Read on Ao3

Summary: Dan and Phil go to LA to spend some time with their good friend Anthony. But what happens when Phil’s bad luck gets him sick and he has to listen to the love of his life fall for another guy?Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, SmutWord Count: 13,840Reading Time: 00:51:07Disclaimer: Characters are works of fiction and no copyright infringement is intended. I do not own Dan or Phil and as far as I know, this never happened.

( I’m hoping this is what you wanted, Anonymous! I got a little carried away with the angst and it got a little long. Sorry bout that my fwends. <3 )

LA was hotter than England, and Phil was not having it. His fringe was sticking to his forehead and he was trying to keep up with Dan who was uncharacteristically speed walking down the sidewalk. It was the day after Vidcon ended and Dan had to be exhausted. Phil was. Phil wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, but he was hustling and Phil was working hard to follow.

“Come on, Phil! We don’t have all day!” Dan insisted, turning to find his friend a couple paces back.

“No, Dan, that’s the point. We literally do have all day. We’re spending the night, remember?” Phil answered, surprised that his claim actually worked. Dan slowed down the slightest bit and lined his pace up with his best friend’s. “Why are you in such a hurry anyways?”

They were headed to their good friend Anthony’s apartment where they would be spending the night and Dan would be helping film a collab. Anthony had called weeks ago and Dan had known about this film collab ever since. He hadn’t told Phil much about it and usually, that meant that it wasn’t anything special. But today Dan was walking faster and rushing his friend along, which was strange behavior for the brown haired one.

“I just don’t want to keep him waiting,” Dan admitted, shoving his hands into his tight pockets as he walked at a normal pace. They were only a couple blocks away now and Dan looked to be calming down.

Usually, the internet pegged Dan for the heart eyes and the hopeless love for his friend but oh how Phil wished it were true. Secretly, Lester had the love eyes of a dove and he tried his hardest to hide it. Dan was his everything. When he waltzed into Phil’s life, everything changed. He loved Dan and in turn, learned to love himself. Being 22 with no real job or direction, Phil had his life in tangles. Meeting someone like Dan, who was insecure himself, helped him realize that his life wasn’t all that bad. That things were okay if he just chose to see them that way. He fell hopelessly and hard for the brown eyed boy, which in turn, helped things fall into place.

It’s hard to remember a time before he was in love with Dan, but he remembers quite clearly the day that he realized it. They were spending a week at Phil’s house shortly after they first met in person and Dan was lying next to him in bed after playing a couple intense games of Mario Kart. Phil looked over and saw Dan’s beautiful smile and he promised never to let this boy go. The happiness was radiating off the younger boy’s body like some sort of drug. Phil could catch a smile from only a glance which Phil had never experienced before. If Phil lost the only thing he loved, he would never forgive himself.

Now 8 years later, Phil Lester still hadn’t let go. But he didn’t say a thing or admit to his crush either. He was too afraid to take the risk. Sometimes Dan would get close to him and snuggle up against Phil on the sofa - as friends do? - and Phil would get an inkling that perhaps the other boy felt a certain way about him as well. But shortly after, if he mustered the courage the test out that conversation, Dan would do something that suggested he might not feel the way Phil originally thought. Phil’s anxiety almost always beat him to the punch and he hated that he second guessed each instinct. For example, just last week, Dan came home with flowers for Phil. His favorite flowers in fact. Dan had remembered. So Phil took them with glee and placed them on the table to admire while they ate. A few smiley days went by and Phil contemplated what those flowers could mean. Was this Dan’s way of trying to hint at Phil that he liked him? Was Dan suddenly realizing that Phil was the one all along? He even thought about asking. But Phil’s anxiety stopped him and when Dan’s phone rang a few days later and Dan shouted from the kitchen that Phil “could answer it,” Phil found out that he had sent flowers to his parents as well. So Phil banged his head against the table and shook the thoughts back to the spot they always sat, waiting for another reason to let them out.

Then there was Vidcon. The most stressful “vacation” of the year. Of course, Phil loved meeting his fans and attending panels, but the thing Phil loved the most about it was getting to spend every waking hour with his best friend. They even lucked out this year and got to share a hotel room, something Phil missed about their younger years. As they become more well known by the Youtuber community, they were offered bigger rooms, separate quarters and different schedules. Even when Dan commented about their “lack of space,” Phil just nodded and pretended he was bothered like he probably should be. Phil’s silence was expected in these sorts of situations and Dan just looked back down at his luggage as Phil’s eyes lingered on the love of his life for two more seconds.

Phil was currently staring at the back of Dan’s perfect head as they walked the hot pavement of LA. His neck wasn’t beading from sweat in the LA heat and Phil was sweating buckets. Dan hated getting sweaty and surely he’d be sweating by now in that obnoxiously big sweater. Something was off but Phil couldn’t place it.

“Phil we’re literally almost there, stop dragging your feet!” Dan called to Phil who was suddenly not feeling so hot. Was Dan moving fast or was Phil actually slowing down? He was feeling quite dizzy and now kind of hoping Anthony lived closer than a few feet because he was going to vomit if he had to walk anymore. “Dude, what’s taking you so-”

Dan turned around and froze when he saw the state that Phil was in. Phil must have looked pretty ill because Dan’s mouth was slightly open as if he wanted to finish his accusation but his brain wouldn’t let him. Phil stopped moving forward and Dan narrowed his eyes in a confused manner.

“Dear God, Phil. You look horrible…”

“Gee thanks,” Phil replied but regretted it immediately. His voice sounded like someone had ripped out his larynx and stomped on it a few times for good measure. Holy shit. Was LA finally killing him?

“Okay, only like 14 more feet,” Dan said as he looked down at his GPS. “Are you gonna make it?”

He almost asked as if Phil might need a gurney.

Phil just nodded and pushed through, mentally telling himself that maybe he needed a nap. He scratched the back of his neck where the sweat was pooling and carried on for the rest of the distance.

“Finally!” Anthony greeted them with a joke, his eyes landing on Dan first, promptly offering a hug. When they finally pulled apart, Anthony glanced at Phil and his brows furrowed. “Phil?”

“Phil!” Dan grabbed Phil’s shoulder and actually pulled him towards him because he was about to fall down the short concrete stoop they were stood on. “Maybe you should get a rest?”

Phil just nodded, things getting a little blurry. Was this what heat stroke felt like? He could have sworn he drank enough water today. He was hydrated, full of protein from his continental breakfast and had gotten plenty of sleep. So what the hell was wrong with him?

Anthony guided them to his spare bedroom and told the two that they could sort out who got the bed and who got the couch later. For now, Phil was placed into the fluffy white sheets that couldn’t look more inviting.

“Thanks, guys…” Phil mumbled, his eyes shutting and his hand reaching for the swampy nape below his hairline. He scratched it again and propped his head up on some pillows. “I’m sorry, Anthony. It’s good to see you.”

Dan laughed, at least someone was, and patted Phil’s leg.

“Get some rest. We’ll be fine without you for a minute, right Anthony?” Dan confirmed, mentioning something about wanting to talk to him about Pokemon. Phil nodded and watched as the two left the room with a slight wave and a sympathetic glance.

“I’ll be fine in a couple hours…” Phil told the empty room, hoping maybe they heard. But at the current moment, he couldn’t care. Sleep was tugging him and he was gladly going with.

-

Phil woke up with a sharp sensation on his stomach.

“Ow!” He sat up and scratched at what seemed to be a bug bite. He lifted his shirt and saw the little red bump that had become irritated quite quickly. He gasped and threw back the covers. Maybe there was a bee in the bed? He found it completely unlikely, but this was Phil Lester and honestly, he’d had worse.

Then he felt the same sensation on his leg and he jumped. He lifted his leg and found not one, not two, but three bites on his calf.

“What the…?” He searched the bed like a crazy person and thought that perhaps Anthony had ants? It was completely possible. Ants were small and LA was like a breeding ground for insects. The weather was nice and the bugs really liked that. But he searched for minutes and found nothing. All he found was a damp spot where he had once laid, his hot body had apparently sweat through his clothes and into the sheets. He grimaced at the thought of being so sweaty so he lifted his shirt from the bottom and threw it off to the side. He was hot anyway and perhaps that would help. Was he getting a hot flash? He certainly wasn’t at the age of heart failure. What the hell was happening to him?

His hand flew up to the now extremely irritated spot on the back of his neck, scratching at it and finding relief in the sharp pain of his fingernails. He had never felt this way before and it was starting to concern him. Maybe if he got out of bed, it would help cool him down. He might as well go find Anthony and let him know about the sheets…

He stood from his damp spot and caught himself before falling over. He was super dizzy and his head was throbbing from what Phil guessed was some sort of vertigo. This was the kind of pain that Phil only assumed happened in those zombie movies on TV. He would have laughed at his own thought but his head hurt too much to speak now so he just waddled forward and out of the door as he tried not to think about the itch on his neck.

He made his way down the hallway and towards the sound of pots and pans. It was still light out, thank God, so Dan and Anthony were probably cooking a meal - Phil hoped it was lunch and he hadn’t been out for too terribly long.

But when he walked into the kitchen, Dan nearly spit out the wine cooler he had been sipping.

“Holy fucking shit, Phil.” Dan’s hand landed on his chest and Anthony turned to face Phil’s slumping form, a shocked expression spreading across his face. Dan actually backed up against the counter. Suddenly, Phil’s thought about a zombie breakout didn’t seem so far-fetched. He stood silently as he tried to read their expressions.

“Phil…” Anthony started, glancing at Dan as if he would finish his sentence.

“I really don’t feel good…maybe I should…” Phil grabbed the wall so he wouldn’t fall over. Speaking took every ounce of energy from his body. His heart was beating faster but everything was going in slow motion. Dan looked like he wanted to lunge to catch Phil’s teetering body, but he stopped himself and Phil just assumed it was because he didn’t want to act all couplely in front of Anthony. This was kind of a pattern with his younger companion. The stuff that Phil usually associated with flirting only happened behind closed doors. Never in front of their other friends. Which is why none of them would believe him if he told them he thought Dan had the hots for him every now and then.

“Are those…?” Dan’s voice was higher than usual, generally signaling that something was wrong. “…bug bites?”

Phil nodded but he could see Anthony shaking his head.

“No, Dan, those aren’t bites…” he said it slowly, stepping towards Phil very carefully to get a closer look. “I think those are…chicken pox.”

“Chicken pox?” Both Dan and Phil spoke at the same time with the same inflection.

“No no no no no,” Phil mumbled, his lips getting dryer by the second. “I can’t…I don’t have chicken pox.”

“No, Phil, I’m pretty sure…” Anthony backed away at the same speed he had moved towards him. “I know chicken pox when I see them. Kalel got them pretty bad when we first started dating.”

The silence in the room was honestly unsettling. Phil didn’t like the sound of this. He didn’t know much about chicken pox, as he never got it when he was a kid, but he knew it meant that he was sick and not with the common cold he usually left Vidcon with.

“Fuck!” Dan exclaimed, his eyes landing on his hands. “Phil, I swear if you got us both sick I’m going to kill you.”

He went to the sink and washed his hands immediately, even though it probably did nothing in terms of disease prevention. Anthony shot Phil a caring glance, obviously not used to Dan’s humor. Phil knew he was joking but kind of wished he wasn’t. Phil would take death right now. Anything but how itchy he had become.

He looked down at his irritated chest and suddenly understood why they had stared at him as if he had 13 heads. He had at least 30 little red bumps littering his chest and abdomen. He looked like an advanced dot-to-dot puzzle that would take hours to complete.

“You really should get back into bed,” Anthony said, his eyebrows up in a sympathetic gaze. “I’ve never had chicken pox and I’m not really into the idea of getting it when I’m 29, thank you very much.”

Phil’s eyes drifted to Dan who was now drying off his hands on a dish towel behind the counter.

“Don’t look at me! I haven’t had it either. Sorry, mate, I’m staying over here,” Dan shook his head and bit his lip. Phil could tell that he felt bad but there wasn’t much he could do about the situation. Unless he wanted to catch the pox himself which Phil was nearly certain wasn’t the case.

Phil hung his head and nodded, hoping he wasn’t being too dramatic as he exited the room. He was yawning and luckily his fatigue would put him right to sleep. That was the hope anyway. He climbed back into the soggy bed and tried to ignore how itchy his entire body had become. What the hell had he done to deserve this?

-

Phil was drifting in and out of sleep for hours. He tossed and turned and couldn’t manage comfort at all. He had strange nightmares that morphed with his reality. The walls were thin and he could hear conversations happening in the lounge. Dan and Anthony must have put on a movie because he could hear car racing through the wall. However, he wouldn’t have been surprised if it was just his imagination.

He was awoken by a creak of the door and the entrance of a head into the crack. He glanced over with his blurry vision and thought he could make out the shape of Dan’s face. Anthony and Dan looked enough alike and he said nothing, just in case, but the familiar British accent comforted him when Dan finally spoke.

“You doing okay?” He asked gently, knowing the answer with a single glance. Phil was clearly in terrible shape and he was the type to look deathly ill when it was just a cold.

Phil shook his head and sighed. Dan nodded, probably assuming that Phil didn’t want to talk. Thank God they knew each other so well. Phil couldn’t imagine what would have happened if it were just him and Anthony.

“So listen…” Dan wasn’t coming into the room, for obvious reasons, but Phil didn’t like the way he stood in the door. His head was peeking through a crack and it almost looked like he wouldn’t breathe in the air that was coming from Phil’s direction. Phil knew that Dan was being cautious but his sick mind was convincing him otherwise. As if Phil was disgusting him. He thanked his irrational brain for that mindset and tried to shake it. “Our flight is at 9:00 pm tomorrow. I don’t know much about chicken pox, but I don’t think you can fly home while you have it.”

Phil hadn’t thought about this. He hadn’t had time. But Dan was right. His dad got the measles once when he was a kid and couldn’t go on the family vacation to Florida. Airlines were serious about this stuff and surely Phil was in no condition to fly anyways.

So was Dan going to fly home without him? That didn’t seem like a good idea. He barely knew Anthony. He couldn’t stay here. And if he did leave and go buy a hotel room, he would have to take care of everything himself. No way. Dan wouldn’t leave him…would he?

“Are you gonna…?” Phil mumbled, trying to get all of his worries across in those three words. His tone was rather clear. Dan’s eyes widened as if he understood.

“No no! That’s what I came here to tell you.” Phil felt the relief wash over him. Dan was a good friend after all. “Anthony said we are more than welcome to stay here. It’s cheaper than a hotel and honestly, you don’t seem like you can move. We can worry about a flight later when you’re feeling a little bit better, yeah?”

Phil nodded, so grateful that Dan knew everything about him, including his hypochondriac habits.

“Great.” Dan shifted where he stood. “Can I get you anything while I’m back here?”

Anthony’s guest room was the furthest door from the front of his flat. Phil was nicely tucked away where he could sulk away his sickness without the outlook of others. He supposed that this was the right call but he was feeling particularly left out. He did come to Vidcon with the expectation to hang out with his friends. If he was being honest, solitude was only making his illness worse. Hearing Dan and Anthony talking and laughing in-between his sleep spells was irritating.

“No,” Phil lied, wishing he could complain to Dan about how lonely he was feeling. But Dan didn’t look like he wanted to spend any more time where he was standing and Phil understood. Chicken pox was highly contagious and if what he had heard was true, he would be this way for a few days minimum.

“Alright. Well, Anthony and I are gonna worry about getting medication for you. Just hang tight. Get some rest and I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Dan continued, his eyes soft and filled with concern. Phil wished that Dan would stick around a little longer, but he was still feeling rather dizzy with the desire to sleep so he didn’t argue. He just half nodded and tucked himself into the pillow a little more, humming in discontent. He was trying so hard not to itch himself and was close to asking for oven mitts. But sleeping helped pass the time and he could ignore the pain while he was unconscious.

Dan lingered for a minute after their conversation was clearly over. Phil could feel Dan’s eyes on him even though his own were closed, Dan’s presence was always something he was good at sensing. But then Phil heard the door squeak shut, his sick presence now the only thing left in the room.

Sleep came quickly, but not until his brain threw out some more toxic thoughts. Ones that he could identify as paranoia, yet still paused to consider. Thoughts that suggested that Anthony was going to replace him. Thoughts that proposed that Anthony was better than Phil. The thoughts that whispered jealousy only made Phil more upset about being bedridden.

-

When one sleeps all day, it’s often hard for one to sleep through the night. Phil was restless. He had checked his phone for the time, the result annoyingly earlier than he thought. It was only 11:00 pm and there was no way Dan or Anthony had gone to bed. He listened for a sign that they were awake and heard nothing. Perhaps they had gone to bed. Dan and Phil had woken rather early that morning. It’s possible that Dan tuckered out.

But that wasn’t like Dan. Dan was known to push his limits when it came to sleeping. He liked his friends too much and Anthony was no exception.

Phil figured that while he couldn’t sleep, he should try and mobilize. He could use a drink of water and it wasn’t too far to the kitchen. It would ease his random anxiety about being left out and that was worth something.

Grunting a little, he stood from his little nest. He still didn’t feel totally up to par, but his head wasn’t throbbing as much as it had been 10 hours ago. He slowly inched his way to the door and opened it slowly. There was a small creak from the floorboards as he walked into the hallway. It was then that he heard something from the living room. A little shuffle from someone seated on the couch. Maybe Dan had passed out and he was just turning in his sleep. That was comforting to an extent. That at least meant that Phil wasn’t missing anything too exciting.

Phil rounded the corner from the hallway and was met with not the one form he was expecting, but two. Dan and Anthony were both turned with flushed faces and wide eyes, looking directly at Phil.

“Hey, Phil!” Dan said, his voice kind of cracking, a quick cough clearing that up and his voice returning to the considerate tone he was using earlier. “How are you feeling?”

Phil was staring. He was sick but not stupid. Anthony was fixing his shirt near the neckline and Dan was subtly trying to wipe his lips off with the side of his hand.

Fucking hell.

They were making out.

Phil sighed, obviously pretending not to notice what was going on before he walked in. When you’re best friends with someone and they are trying to cover something up, it’s polite not to ask. Allegedly, Dan will tell him later, as best friends do. Then Phil is to pretend he didn’t know and Dan will giggle about how Anthony is “such a good kisser.” He can hear it now, yet he wished he couldn’t.

“I um…just needed some water. Maybe some fruit or something,” Phil sulked. It’s a good thing he was sick. The sulking was considered a side effect of illness. Dan nodded and cleared his throat again.

“Need some help?” he asked, his eyes pleading for Phil to say no. That would just make this entire thing far more awkward. Phil wasn’t a shitty friend, so he shook his head and took one last look at the state of his friends, turning and heading toward the kitchen.

“Glasses are in the top left cabinet!” Anthony shouted, to which Phil didn’t answer. He just grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the sink, spotting an orange and collecting that as well. He shuffled back out to where he was standing before, blinking at the two awkwardly silent boys, hoping that it would make them feel uncomfortable, then he turned without a word, heading back to his place of slumber.

Phil shut the door and stood still, staring at the wall above the bed. He leaned against the wooden entranceway and replayed the last two minutes over and over.

Then he felt something dripping in his hand and he noticed that he had just crushed the orange he was holding. Great. The rind had split and the insides were slipping through the crack.

Dan had just been kissing Anthony.

His stomach now ached with something he usually identified as jealousy, but because he was already sick, he couldn’t tell.

He was mad. But was he overreacting? Probably. Dan was the love of his life and there was always that string of hope that perhaps Phil was Dan’s, but now he knew for sure. He knew that he had zero chance with Dan, with or without chicken pox, and that’s what was breaking him.

He drank half of the glass he poured himself and then flopped onto the bed belly down. At this point, he didn’t care that the orange was released from his hand and tumbling to the floor. All he cared about was his miserable existence and the fact that his best friend was making out with their good friend.

In any other situation, he would have laughed and joked to himself about thinking too much like Dan. But honestly, he saw no other reaction.

This sucked.

Then Phil started thinking about how none of this would have happened if he hadn’t gotten this horrible illness. Chicken pox was known for ruining things but how many people could say that chicken pox was the reason the love of their life was making out with someone else? Only a couple rooms over even. How the hell did Phil get this kind of luck?

Phil’s eyes shut and he sighed, knowing that there was nothing he could do about the situation. But the universe was not done with him. Not yet. He heard a lighthearted giggle from the other room. Then a silence. Then another giggle.

Phil knew they were probably laughing at a joke one of them cracked or something of that sort, but he couldn’t help but think that maybe they were laughing at him. The poor boy with chicken pox who nearly just walked in on them sucking face. If only they knew. Dan should know that Phil was smarter than that. His stomach sank before he was able to stop his brain.

-

You would think that things would get less awkward after that and everything would go back to normal but after an embarrassing little cry and a restless sleep, Phil awoke to a knock on the door. Dan entered slowly, taking in the appearance of his friend who looked to be doing worse.

Phil was doing better but his emotional state was starting to wither. He was still itchy but his mind was racing with the possibilities of Dan and Anthony’s midnight escapades, and he had forgotten about the red splotches covering his skin. He supposed that was one good thing about being ridden with jealousy. Other less important things are forgotten.

“I brought you chicken noodle,” Dan said, his smile probably genuine. His lips looked like the lips that Phil usually longed to kiss, but all Phil could see now were devices that had been attached to another human being’s face. “How do you feel?”

Psh. If only Phil could really tell him.

“Fine,” Phil answered, his voice nearly gone. His throat was raw and the crying probably hadn’t helped.

“Well Anthony said that maybe we should take you to a doctor when you’re feeling up for it,” Dan suggested. Phil shivered at the sound of Anthony’s voice leaving Dan’s lips. He was angry at himself for thinking so foully about one of his friends. But he was sick. He was allowed some slack. At least that’s what he told his criticist brain. “You feeling up for a trip?”

“How far…cause I don’t know if I can-”

“Oh, Anthony will drive,” Dan interrupted, somehow reading Phil’s train of thought. Phil didn’t feel like walking anymore in that heat. Usually, Phil is glad that Dan could read him like a book, but if he was going to be interrupted like this, he’d prefer if it wasn’t with Anthony’s name.

“Okay.” Phil nodded and sighed, looking at the bowl of soup that Dan placed next to his bed. The side table was littered with tissues. Luckily Anthony’s guest bedroom was stocked with tissues and a trash bin. Maybe not for this specific purpose, but it aided his drippy eyes last night.

Dan noticed his eyes on the tissues and he laughed. “You must be feeling better if you can beat it that hard.”

It took Phil a second to get what Dan meant by “beat it.” He glanced at the tissues that he had shed his tears into and then returned his glance to Dan, offering him a small smile. He didn’t have the energy to come up with some bullshit reason.

“Eat your soup and then we can get you to the doctor, okay?” Dan smiled, noticing that Phil was not in the mood to talk about masturbation habits. It almost looked like he was going to reach out and pet Phil’s leg, but then he drew back and nodded, swallowing and leaving the room to do God knows what.

Phil just sat up and worked on his soup. It was hot but he didn’t mind. He hadn’t really had the appetite for anything and it was good to finally feel something slide down his throat.

He managed to rummage through his suitcase and found something fresh to wear, a t-shirt he saved for the plane due to comfort reasons, slid over his shoulders and fell over his little spots. He put on the jacket that he packed just in case and laced up the shoes that he had discarded before falling into bed the first day. He looked ready enough for a doctor’s visit and he headed towards the front of the apartment.

Luckily this time he didn’t walk in on his friends doing anything criminal, but they were standing far too close to not mean something. Phil rolled his eyes when nobody could see him and he muttered a “ready” to which the two boys turned towards him.

They walked over to the front door, Anthony grabbing his keys and the three of them leaving the apartment as Anthony locked up. Both boys looked to be avoiding Phil at all costs, not even closing the four-foot gap that was between them as they walked. But Phil noticed that Dan was gravitating towards Anthony, their hands brushing together and Dan’s goofy smile revealing itself every time it happened. Phil would know because this is the shit that he used to do to Dan. He tried his hardest not to show how upset he was about this but clearly it wasn’t working because when the Anthony opened the back door of the car, he made some joke to Dan about how badly Phil needed to get to the doctor. He apparently looked “sour and sickly.”

Phil would have laughed.

But he didn’t.

The car ride was silent, Dan finally taking the aux chord and pumping some of his music into the car. Quietly, of course, not wanting to disturb Phil’s theoretical headache.

The doctor’s visit was surprisingly painless. Other than the trip in and out of the building, Phil was admitted immediately and seen rather quickly. The doctor took one look at the spots on his body, prescribing him medicine directly. He had heard such terrible things about US healthcare and he was happy that he didn’t have to deal with anything too terrible this time.

While he was waiting for the doctor to return with his medicine, he grimaced at the thought of Dan and Anthony waiting for him in the car. He could imagine them making out or something, talking about their exciting plans for the rest of the day while Phil slept in the guest room, away from the two lovebirds. Obviously, he wouldn’t want the festivities to halt on his accord. That would not be fair for him to suggest, not to mention, the more downtime Dan and Anthony had, the more they would probably suck face. He scowled at the thought and accidentally glared at the doctor who was re-entering.

“You’re all set, Mr. Lester. Have a safe flight back.” The doctor had told him he could fly in two days, after the medicine began to work and he was no longer contagious. He was happy about this. The shorter the visit was, the less he would have to endure of Dan and Anthony’s little affair.

-

Phil thought it couldn’t get worse. When they got back, Anthony made lunch for them both, Phil opting to eat in his bed and away from whatever was going on in the other two’s lives that day. They didn’t want to be near Phil and if Phil was being honest, he didn’t want to be near them either. Anthony brought him the sandwich and then closed the door, giving Phil a couple words of encouragement like “I hope you get better soon” and “we’ll miss you.”

Bullshit.

He ate his sandwich and took a nap. The meds he took were making him quite drowsy, but if he could pass the time while sleeping, then so be it. That was the best way to power through this horrible extended stay.

But holy shit was he regretting that nap.

He awoke to a loud thump and it startled him awake. He was groggy as hell but after working so hard to get to sleep in the first place, this thump was the end of a somewhat struggle sleep. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking to his phone for the time. It was late. Very late. Once again, he had missed dinner with his slumber and he was itching - both figuratively and metaphorically - for a snack.

Standing was getting easier each time and he figured that maybe it was the meds. Thank God for medical technology. At least he no longer had that horrible headache and he had stopped sweating a significant amount into the sheets.

This time he avoided the creak in the floorboard and because it was late, he tried to do his best to stay quiet. He basically tip-toed into the kitchen and silently took the can of soup off the counter that had a note written next to it in Dan’s handwriting. Phil.

Well, that was nice of him. At least his friend remembered what it was like to be sick and hungry when nobody is awake. That sucks. He got a little pan and poured the soup into it, turning on the stove and standing blankly for what he assumed was only half a minute.

That was until he heard another thump. What the hell? It sounded like it had come from inside the apartment. Phil only barely started worrying that perhaps he had broken something somehow, which would be his luck, when he heard an extremely uncharacteristic giggle coming from someone in the room down the hall. He froze.

Scared that he already knew the answer, he quietly walked over to the couch where Dan was supposed to be sleeping to see if his best friend was there. He nearly went faint when he saw nobody lying there. Now, standing closer to the hallway, he could hear voices behind what he assumed was Anthony’s room.

Well, this is just great.

He walked back over to the stove and didn’t even bother to let his soup come to a boil before pouring it into the bowl he found in one of the cabinets. He wasn’t trying to be quiet now either. He didn’t give a fuck if Dan and their friend could hear him. He just wanted to go hide under the covers where he couldn’t hear the monstrosity of the situation at hand.

Shuffling back to his room, he barely made it in before he actually cursed out loud.

“FUCK.”

Dan knew how hard it was to make him curse. If only he was here now. He placed down the soup that wasn’t ever gonna be warm enough and flopped on the bed.

“God damnit…” he whimpered, wishing he could just vanish.

But as things usually did for him, that’s when it got worse. Much much worse.

He heard Dan moan through the wall.

It could have been a heated Mario Kart race, it could have been a funny skit they were filming in the middle of the night, it could have been anything.

But he knew Dan’s moan when he heard it. He wasn’t deaf and Dan wasn’t exactly quiet when he got off at home. Their walls were thin and if that meant that Phil could hear everything, it wasn’t a crime for him to have listened once or twice.

But that solidified the image and now he was hearing more thumps and a few more obscene sounds that he desperately wished he couldn’t hear.

If only chicken pox made you go deaf. That would be a pleasant alternative.

It was then that his spots started itching. He supposed they had been itching all along, but suddenly he was falling apart. Inside and out.

Itch.

Moan.

Itch.

Moan.

Everything around him was attacking him, including his active imagination that was now picturing Dan being bent over and getting fucked by their mutual friend. One that Phil didn’t even want to look at anymore. But of course, he had this fucking illness and he was just letting the love of his life get laid while he lied in the other man’s bed.

What a fucking trip.

Itch.

Moan.

Itch.

Moan.

Itch.

Moan.

He didn’t see an end to his suffering and he started to contemplate just leaving altogether. Finding a hotel and just waiting out his symptoms there. Where he could at least wallow in silence.

The bed was creaking now, which only added to the comedic effect. If it wasn’t Dan, this would be funny. In fact, Dan and Phil had been in a situation like this situation before. They were staying at a friend’s place and that friend had brought someone home that night, leaving Dan and Phil to stay up in the living room laughing at the obvious sex that was happening behind their friend’s door.

But this was different. Dan wasn’t here to laugh with him. He was hearing Dan get boned and as much as he hated Anthony in this moment, if he was being honest, he just wanted to be unsick. If he hadn’t gotten this freakin virus in the first place, then none of this would have happened. He would have just hung out with his friends and had a good couple days in LA. He wouldn’t be sulking on a bed that wasn’t his. He might have even been able to convince Dan to sleep in the bed with him. It wouldn’t be the first time. And then maybe, just maybe, Dan would be sleeping with him right now. Not Anthony.

Phil thought about Anthony’s perfect lifestyle and his amazing features and this was a hole he wouldn’t emerge from for a couple hours. Anthony was clearly more assertive than Phil was and that was probably why this happened so fast. Now that Phil was thinking about it, this doesn’t seem super out of character for Dan anyway. Dan changed a lot this year and maybe this was something he should have seen coming.

It wasn’t all about Phil anymore. Not like it had been in 2009. Dan was finding new people to hang with and it didn’t even seem like it was making a difference that he wasn’t around these past few days. He had barely seen his friends since he found out he was sick. Granted, he was sleeping a bunch, but that didn’t mean people couldn’t come in and say hello…or something.

A loud extended moan that basically screamed “we’re alone in this house right now” pierced the walls and Phil knew the sound of Dan cumming when he heard it. He sighed because usually when he hears that, he gets turned on. This time, he is nothing but dejected.

-

“G’morning, Philly!” Dan knocked on the door, his freshly fucked face shining brighter than the LA sun. Phil blinked away the sleep and sat up slightly in his stupid bed nest. He didn’t even bother smiling. The tissues that littered the bed seemed to describe how he felt at the moment, overwhelmed and like garbage. He scratched at one of the bumps on his chest as he swallowed.

“Hey.”

“Anthony and I are going to the store. Need anything?”

Phil shook his head, looking away from the bright-eyed boy who was now rolling up his sweater sleeves.

“Alright. Well if I see any of those Haribo sweets, I’ll make sure I snag em for you,” Dan proposed sweetly, his smile too genuine for the noises Phil had heard the night before.

“Don’t bother,” Phil grumbled. Sure it was an act of kindness, but now that he knew Dan liked Anthony, his brain wouldn’t even try to spin it as an act of love. “Not hungry.”

“But you might be later! And plus, you told me you wanted to get some before the end of the trip,” Dan explained, Phil just nodded his head and looking down.

Dan might have been lovestruck, but he has never been a bad friend.

“Phil? Are you okay?” He had obviously noticed Phil’s somewhat reserved tone. Phil was usually pretty good at faking a smile or making small talk, even when he was sick. Dan knew this plenty well. “What’s wrong?”

Dan stepped closer, but not close enough for this conversation to be intimate. Phil understood it was because of his chicken pox, but his brain decided it was because Dan didn’t care enough.

Phil said nothing, not really knowing how to explain the feelings he was being plagued with right now. But Dan was smarter than that.

“Aw, Phil. You feel left out, don’t you?” Dan hit the nail on the head. Well, part of it. Phil didn’t even try to deny it. He sighed and looked at the wall behind Dan. “Oh God, I’m sorry, Phil. It probably sucks being in bed all day.”

Phil nodded.

“How about, if you’re up for it, we can watch a movie tonight? Altogether?” Dan suggested. Sure, if Phil wasn’t super jealous of what was going on behind closed doors, then this would have been sweet. But sitting in a room with two people he could hear having sex only 10 hours before this moment didn’t seem appetizing to him in the slightest. But not being there was worse and so he nodded to please his friend. “Good. I’ll go tell Anthony.”

Phil resisted the urge to mock Dan and he just smiled flatly as Dan stepped back a little.

“Well…get some rest then,” Dan smiled and left the room, shutting the door behind him. Phil took a tissue and tried to throw it at the door, but it just fell lazily at his feet and he flopped back down onto the bed and tried not to listen to the shuffling and laughter from the boys down the hall.

-

They let Phil chose the movie, probably because they felt bad, but Phil was isolated to the little side chair and Dan and Anthony sat far too close for the big couch they were on. Phil chose Big Hero 6 because he hadn’t seen it in so long, not to mention, Anthony had the UK version for some reason, which Dan and Phil had actually been in.

But he regretted his choice immediately, especially because Anthony and Dan talked right over their lines.

Phil barely waited for the credits to roll before he stood abruptly and removed himself from the room. He simply waved and bedded himself, taking his second-to-last pill. In the morning, he would take the last one and then he wouldn’t be contagious anymore. Thank God.

Maybe then they could forget this trip ever happened and Phil would do his best to block what he heard from his memories.

He did not plan, however, for Dan to come knocking on his door.

He did not plan for Dan to come in and sit on the end of his bed.

He did not plan for Dan to say “I need your advice.”

A part of Phil wanted to shoo the other boy away but the other part of him was honored that Dan still came to him. Nonetheless, he was not excited about what was about to come from Dan’s mouth.

“Shoot.” Phil was clearly conscious enough to watch the movie and give advice. Plus he was barely feeling anything but itchy. Itchy and envious.

“So uh…I kissed Anthony,” Dan admitted as if Phil hadn’t figured that out already. He failed to mention that he did far more than kiss Anthony the other night, so Phil didn’t say anything, letting the other boy continue. It seemed that he was gauging the reaction of his friend and Phil was jealous but not terrible. He was just going to pretend he heard nothing. “And I feel like we have a lot of chemistry.”

That’s because I’m not there to show you what real chemistry feels like.

Phil nodded along and tried to show a supportive face.

“I wanted to ask you because…” Dan kind of looked at the ground. “I feel like as my best friend, you should have a say in who I date.” He looked up and met Phil’s eyes that were fighting to stay dry. “Do you think I should go for it?”

Phil gulped. He could totally change this right now. He could totally change the course of his best friend’s relationship. Dan apparently cared a lot about his opinion and he could just tell him “no” and this whole thing would be over.

But Phil wasn’t that guy. He was a good friend and there was no way that he would let something like this sit on his conscience for years to come.

He sat up and looked into the desperate brown eyes and nodded.

“Anthony’s a nice guy. You think he feels the same way?” Phil heard himself say, kind of disappointed in his good morale.

Dan nodded and played with his sleeve.

“I mean, he kissed me back.”

“Well,” Phil said, making a gesture that said, “Then I see nothing wrong with it.”

Dan smiled and Phil would have melted if that smile was for him. But it wasn’t. Not really. That smile was for Anthony.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be so anxious.” Dan admitted. “Thanks, Phil.”

Phil nodded and he watched as Dan started to get up.

Then Phil said something that he would have NEVER expected to leave his mouth. He wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted him to stay longer or if he just wanted to stir the pot, but he cleared his throat and said;

“Especially because usually, when a person fucks you that hard, that means they like you.”

Dan’s head whipped around and his eyes were blown wide. It seemed he was going through a million emotions at once. He was most likely confused as to why Phil knew about that, probably flashing back and realizing how loud he was being, then his mind probably alarmed him that he had just lied to Phil and told him that he had just kissed the boy, and then because Phil was cursing at him and that usually meant that something was up.

Dan stood still for so long, Phil kind of assumed he was turning to stone.

“You didn’t need to hear that. Sorry, Phil,” he apologized, his face flushing a brilliant shade of red. “I’ll be quieter next time.”

Next time.

This literally couldn’t get worse. Phil was quickly losing his filter and it was clear his subconscious and cooped up brain was trying to push him past the point of no return.

“I didn’t. You’re right. Especially since I’m in love with you and everything,” Phil snarked, his tone not right for what just came out. Dan was standing there with his mouth agape, his frozen state only worsening.

Phil didn’t know what he was doing, but this must be what it was like to hit rock bottom.

“Phil- I think maybe those meds are making you loopy. You should try to get some r-”

“Rest? Get some rest while you go make googly eyes at Anthony? Sure, let me just tell my brain to stop insisting he’s better than me in every way. Then maybe I can get some rest,” Phil said in the most deadpan voice he’s ever pulled.

This was not about him. Hell, he had just given Dan his blessing. What the fuck was this all about? He cursed his brain for doing this. He was almost out of the woods. He would have been sad, but he could get over it. Now he had spilled his secret and was spitting a hurtful tone at his friend who was just trying to be nice.

“Phil, where is this coming from? I don't…I don’t know what you want me to do…” Dan kind of whispered, his face looking a little confused. To be fair, Phil wasn’t even sure what he wanted him to do. First, he was calling Dan out for lying and having sex audibly, but now he was confessing his love and who knows how Dan felt about that? “I’m sorry. I don’t feel…”

The same way.

Well fuck.

Phil just fell to the pillow and turned his head. Anything to break the eye contact that he had been holding with the other boy.

“We can talk about this…” Dan said, door creaking again. “…another day. Goodnight.”

And that’s when the door shut, Phil now in the lonesomeness that was this stupid bedroom. Dan was now probably off to go tell Anthony what had just happened, then have some romantic fuck without Phil’s knowledge. Great. Just great.

Phil was feeling better. Less itchy, no throbbing head and his temperature was mostly normal. But his insides were broken. His heart felt heavy and the tears fell again, only to leave him sobbing with no more clean tissues, into a sleep that felt like death.

-

Anthony woke him the next morning, much to Phil’s dismay, and he thought it might be a nightmare. Maybe everything was a nightmare and he hadn’t said all those terrible things to his best friend. But no, why else would Anthony be knocking on his door and bringing him a banana for breakfast. He didn’t even like bananas. That means that Dan wanted nothing to do with him. Not today. And he must have told Anthony to go deal with Phil.

“How are you feeling?” Anthony asked, throwing the banana on the bed from the doorway. Phil just shrugged and looked down. “Well, Dan says he’s going to book your flight for tonight. Since you’re no longer contagious. You think that’s doable?”

Phil nodded before giving the question much thought. Usually, when people said “your” in relation to Dan and Phil, it meant both of them. But now Phil wasn’t so sure. Was Dan going to send Phil back by himself? Was he going to spend a few more days alone here with Anthony? Phil didn’t like being here with them both but he certainly didn’t like the idea of leaving them on their own.

“Cool, I’ll let him know. Good to see you’re doing better.” Anthony flashed him a smile and then made haste to remove himself from the room.

Phil sighed and stared at the banana.

Dan knew he hated bananas.

-

Phil had packed his things and Anthony so kindly lent him his shower. He changed into some clean clothes and tried to look healthy. He was still feeling pretty shit and once he found out that Dan was, in fact, staying a couple extra days, he didn’t really care about his appearance. The three had a quiet lunch where Phil ate something substantial for the first time in days, his stomach happy about that decision, and then he was waiting for the Über to come take him to the airport.

Of course, it was raining.

Dan looked to be avoiding his gaze and Phil couldn’t blame him. Maybe being on a plane with the person that just told you they love you isn’t exactly easy. So Phil couldn’t blame either of them.

When his Über arrived, he said his goodbyes, but neither of them would hug him. They knew he wasn’t contagious now, but they still didn’t want to risk it. Phil waved at Dan and tried to make some form of eye contact to replace the hug, but Dan wouldn’t even look up. Phil nodded and shuffled down to the car.

This felt very very wrong.

He reached the airport and went through the process of getting on the plane by himself. It was boring to sit in the airport alone. He made it on time and got on the plane, barely noticing when the plane took off. Plane rides were ten times more fun when his best friend wasn’t in LA with some guy doing God knows what.

He reached their flat in the morning, the time difference fucking with him, collapsing immediately onto his own bed and falling asleep. He only awoke later that night to an empty flat and a stupid headache.

Getting up from his bed was a struggle, but he figured he might as well. He needed to eat and drink some water. He was 90% sure that his headache was because of his lack of water intake. He went ahead and made coffee, sipping at it black because they were out of milk, then fisting a handful of cereal into his mouth.

He reflected on the last couple of days and grimaced when he replayed the last conversation he had with Dan. He really fudged it. He made things super awkward. He made things worse. He didn’t even know why he had done it. He supposed that he had just snapped. Eight years was enough. The information was bound to slip out sometime.

Just when he was truly starting to hate himself, he heard a key fit into the front door’s lock. His eyes went wide and he flipped through all the people who had a key to their flat. His brother, Louise, PJ…nobody was supposed to come over while they were gone.

If this was an intruder, that would just be the icing on the cake to a terrible couple days. Maybe, if he’s lucky, he could give the person chicken pox. That would show them not to break into people’s homes.

But when the door opened to reveal a rather disheveled Dan Howell, Phil took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, returning the frames to his face.

Phil thought the flat was silent before. But now that there were two people in the flat, it felt even quieter. Dan said nothing and he just closed the door softly behind him, dropping his suitcase and giving Phil a half smile.

Phil didn’t even care that he was staring. He used his eyes to demand an explanation from his friend.

Dan mumbled something that Phil didn’t quite catch, the other boy’s eyes darting towards to the ground.

“Hm?” Phil stepped a little closer, grabbing one of Dan’s bags. Offering his help was the only thing that could make this moment any less awkward.

“It’s not gonna work,” Dan repeated, his head hanging. “Anthony doesn’t wanna do long distance.”

Phil stood there in shock, holding Dan’s suitcase in his hand and cocking his head. He needed to make up for the fact that he was so rude before, so his face fell and he frowned.

“But you were going to stay a couple days. That’s not long distance,” Phil argued. Dan just stared at him. Almost like he was having a hard time interpreting Phil’s kindness. Sure, Phil confessed his love, but that wasn’t going to stop him from being a supportive friend.

“It’s not worth it. I like him, but if he’s not willing to do it, then I didn’t want to get my hopes up,” Dan said sadly, pushing past Phil and heading for his own bedroom. Phil followed him with the suitcase.

“I’m sorry, Dan,” Phil said, stopping outside his door. He didn’t wanna break any boundaries, so he set the suitcase inside and stared at Dan who flopped down on his own bedspread.

“No, you’re not.”

Phil froze.

“Of course I am…” Phil reassured. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You know why, Phil.”

Phil was silent for longer than he should have allowed himself to be but he did respond after a moment.

“I care about your happiness, Dan,” Phil said, sad that Dan would think otherwise about their friendship. “I really am sorry that it didn’t work out.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence.

“You can come in.”

Phil hesitated, but he nodded and entered the room, hovering over by the bed where Dan was staring at the ceiling.

“Gonna be honest, I liked you for a long time, Phil,” Dan said out of nowhere. Phil softly sat at the end of the bed. If Dan was planning to continue the conversation they were having the night before, he needed to be sitting. “But I forced myself to stop when I thought you didn’t like me back.”

Phil opened his mouth to speak, but Dan cut him off.

“You were good at hiding it I guess. I tried to do things to show you I liked you. But I guess we aren’t as psychic as we thought…” Dan chuckled a little.

“And now?” Phil asked, his voice trembling.

“And now…I can’t even picture us kissing,” Dan turned his head to look up at Phil. Phil’s eyebrows went up. How can good news turn sour so quickly? Dan stared at him for a while, his eyes flicking down to Phil’s pursed lips. “Nope. Still, can’t picture it.”

Phil turned away and looked at the wall, drumming his fingers on his thigh.

“But I also can’t picture a life without you…” Dan said. Phil’s head whipped around and he nearly forgot that he had been sick in bed for the past few days. His eyes were blown wide and Dan was staring up at him with a slight blush.

Phil didn’t want to get his hopes up and his brain forced him to remember that he was pretty much ignored for the past couple days. Dan seemed perfectly fine without him. Better than usual in fact.

“You’re not thinking clearly. I’m sure you can,” Phil stumbled out, trying his best to think level headedly. “If Anthony lived in London I’m sure it would have worked ou-”

“But Anthony isn’t you. And when it came time to take things further, I can’t leave you for him. He would have to come live here with us and what if he asks me to marry him? Then I’m an engaged man not wanting to move away from his best friend. I refuse to believe that’s not because I-” Dan was getting animated, his body sitting up and their faces now leveling. “Because I love you.”

Phil’s eyes didn’t have time to even blink before Dan was leaning in and planting the most unexpected kiss in Phil’s entire 30-year-old lifespan.

Dan’s kiss was deep and his tongue took the plunge that Phil had always wanted, but immediately he remembered just how sick he was. Sure, the virus was no longer contagious to people on a plane or in his general vicinity, but surely sticking someone’s tongue in your mouth was the fastest way to spread the virus and Dan was certainly asking for it.

Phil came to his senses and placed his hands on Dan’s shoulders, prying the younger boy off of him and gulping. That was certainly one of the hardest things he’d ever done, after all, he had waited so long for this moment. It hurt him even more to see Dan’s unsure face, his eyes nearly at the point of tears, this being the second rejection he’s gone through today.

Phil made haste with an explanation, not wanting to leave Dan in the dark. Especially about this.

“It’s not that I don’t want…” Phil stumbled, the taste of Dan’s lips tripping him up. “Because I do, it’s just…” Phil swallowed. “The chicken pox. I don’t want you to-”

Dan’s lips crashed into his again, the sentence not seeming to register. And if it did, Dan clearly didn’t care. Dan was on him so fast and Phil’s mind was reeling. For more reasons than one. As Dan gently laid him back against the bed and put his weight on top of Phil, pretty much clawing at Phil’s shirt, Phil thought about the words Dan had just said. He loved him. And if Phil didn’t believe him then, he surely did now. Even with the near impossibility of not getting chicken pox after this kiss, he had done it anyway. Not that Phil was arguing, but he was certainly shocked. Dan was kissing him fervently now and Phil was trying to forget how monumental this move was while he enjoyed the feeling of Dan’s body on him.

Their kiss slowed and Phil looked up into the brown eyes he had seen so many times before, somehow seeing something different this time. Something he had always thought he’d see in small doses. This was the look Dan would give him in 2009. This was the look that meant Dan loved him. Phil knew now and he hated himself for never going for it when he could have had this all along.

“Dan…” Phil whispered as he gently placed a kiss on Dan’s neck. “Please. Let me show you how much I love you.”

Dan nearly mewled at what Phil said, his eyes glazing over and his mouth dropping open. His lips were still wet with Phil’s kiss and Phil never wanted to see him in any other state that wasn’t freshly kissed. Dan nodded and rolled off of Phil’s body, landing beside him and waiting for Phil to make the next move.

Phil resumed the position that Dan was just occupying, climbing on top of Dan and kissing his neck until Dan made a little noise of approval. Phil tugged on the bottom of Dan’s shirt, sliding his hands up with the fabric and then pulling it off, only disconnecting his lips from Dan’s jugular for a second before he kept kissing down onto Dan’s chest. He nibbled a little on the skin near his clavicle, guessing that Dan would be into it, and then he stopped when his eyes met something that made him smile. He lifted his head and Dan felt the way Phil’s chest was racking with laughter.

“What?” Dan asked, looking a little irritated that something so funny was interrupting their moment. That’s when Phil slid his left hand up Dan’s rib cage to point at the little red dot that was sitting right on Dan’s neck. Phil looked down at the other boy’s chest and covered his mouth to hide his teeth as he laughed harder. “What!?”

Dan sat up on his elbows and looked down at his bare stomach, noticing the little marks that plagued his body. His chest looked a lot like Phil’s had the night before.

“You already had it,” Phil laughed, kissing a few of the marks before returning to Dan’s mouth with a smirk. “You got it anyway.”

“God Damnit, Phil. You gave me your illness you, Rat!” Dan groaned, his hands reaching to cover his face. “I can’t believe this. I was doing such a good job avoiding you too!”

Dan joked and Phil just kissed him in-between his sentences.

“Nuh uh, the doctor says it takes a minimum of ten days for it to show symptoms after you get it. So you probably got it from the same place I did, Danny,” Phil teased. Dan laughed because at this point, he was expecting it anyway. But then his face went pale and Phil looked at him worriedly.

“What?” Phil asked, hoping he hadn’t said anything or done something that would make Dan regret their current position.

“Anthony…”

Phil had never removed himself from another human being so fast. He backed up and sat on his heels, very confused as to why their US friend’s name was even mentioned in an intimate situation like this.

Dan sighed and pulled Phil back down on top of him.

“Stop it, you spoon. I just realized that if I already had chicken pox…” Dan made a face and Phil immediately understood. He shouldn’t of, but he laughed. “Hey! Come on…I feel bad now…”

“That’s called Karma…” Phil snarked, kissing at Dan’s chest again and making him gasp.

“I have never seen you so…” Dan fished for a word.

“Jealous?” Phil offered. “Resentful?” He kissed down Dan’s body, taking a moment to lick into Dan’s belly button. “Cynical?” He hooked his fingers into Dan’s pants and briefs, tugging lightly. “Petty perhaps?”

Dan shuddered as Phil didn’t even skip a beat before yanking down the items of clothing. Phil had never seen Dan completely naked before and this was surely a treat. He licked his lips and was quick to grasp Dan’s dick completely, dropping his nose down and taking the whole thing at once.

“Poss-possessive!” Dan moaned, completing his own sentence and ignoring all of the things Phil had just said. “But…I kinda like it. It’s kinda…h-hot.”

Just then Phil choked on Dan’s twitching cock. It was growing gradually and he could feel Dan shudder beneath him as he hollowed out his cheeks around it.

Phil liked when Dan said those things to him. He needed it, especially after the couple days he’d had. He made sure to praise the younger boy for the words with his tongue.

Dan moaned obscenely and Phil’s stomach tightened. Dan was moaning because of him. Because of something Phil Lester was doing to him. He could feel his own member grow in anticipation and he decided the long and drawn out teasing sessions could wait. He wanted to be inside Dan as fast as possible. That is if Dan would have him.

“Can I…” Phil asked after popping off of Dan’s now swollen cock. “Can I fuck you, Dan?”

Dan’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head when Phil asked. It seemed he wanted it just as much, if not more than Phil did. Phil smiled lovingly at Dan and slightly nudged Dan’s side in an effort to flip him over onto his stomach.

He took in the sight of the younger boy, ignoring the tiny little red splotches that covered his back and bum. He laughed to himself and then leaned down to kiss what looked like the softest and most kissable toosh.

“Lube is in the…drawer,” Dan muttered into the pillow his face was currently shoved in. Phil lightly bit at the spot he was kissing and then smiled as he licked at the little mark he had made. Dan moaned in delight when the older boy reached over for the drawer’s handle, pulling out the bottle from the drawer and placing it beside them. Phil reached down and pulled off his shirt, then unbuttoned his pants. He didn’t want the constraints of his jeans to hinder his erection while he stretched the compliant boy before him.

Phil popped the cap and coated his fingers with a fair amount, probably too much, of lube. He really didn’t want to hurt Dan and it would only get worse when the boy started actually feeling the symptoms of their little virus.

Delicately placing a finger against Dan’s entrance, he watched as Dan arched his back and pushed his bum up towards Phil and his bare chest. He wanted Dan so badly and he hoped that Dan wanted him too.

He plunged his finger into Dan’s ready hole, the walls feeling thick and warm, as he watched Dan’s mouth drop open. He started the thrusting process and with his other hand, he rubbed circles on Dan’s lower back.

It didn’t take long before Dan was mewling and begging for Phil’s cock. Dan was moaning louder than he had been the other night and it was clear that Phil’s fingers were doing a better job than Anthony’s.

“Phil, please…I need you. Please, I’m-” Dan gasped when Phil angled his fingers up and towards that special bundle of nerves that caused the younger boy’s thighs to shake and his hole to clench. Phil reached for the lube with his other hand as he asked Dan what he wanted again, this time with his finger right on Dan’s prostate. “I…Phil…p-please. F-f-fuck meee.”

Phil loved the way Dan begged him, this kind of behavior was a major turn on and it seemed that Dan had an abundance of it. He was loud in everyday life and in their videos so Phil should have expected this. But of course, it was much better than he could have ever imagined anyway.

Phil coated his cock with the lube and moaned deeply as he ran a hand over his aching member. He was so wrapped up in what Dan looked like that he had totally forgotten that his own cock was begging him for something more. He pulled out his slicked up fingers, with a verbal protest from Dan, and then he began to kiss at the hole he was just fingering. Dan just moaned when Phil licked inside, feeling the warm walls with his own tongue. He wanted to linger there for a while and make Dan lose it, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to be inside the whining boy.

He got up onto his knees and used his hands to angle Dan’s bum in the perfect direction. He lined him up perfectly before he pressed his tip teasingly against Dan’s throbbing hole.

“Do you want this cock, Dan?” He asked, receiving a very desperate knob. “Tell me you want this cock.”

“I w-want your cock, Phil…” he moaned, panting as he clawed at the bed sheets. “I want it so bad.”

“Good,” Phil bit his lip and began to push in just the tip. All the while, he was thinking about how strangely dominate he had become. He thought that maybe it was because he was trying to show Dan that Phil wanted him more than Anthony. Or maybe he was trying to prove how much he loved the younger boy by fucking him better. Perhaps he was trying to prove something to Dan, showing him a side that Phil had never revealed before.

Before he knew it, his cock was completely sheathed inside of his best friend’s ass. Dan’s eyes were teary and he was begging Phil with inaudible words. Somehow Phil understood though, getting the idea that Dan wanted him to start moving.

And that he did. He leaned over the boy in front of him and started to hump him like he’d never don’t before. He wrapped his arm around to Dan’s dangling cock and grabbed it, pumping and adding to the stimulus. He wanted Dan to feel him everywhere. Even once they were done.

“Oh Dan…you are so beautiful like this,” Phil praised, hoping that it would make Dan blush. Sure enough, Dan’s face went red from the exhaustion and the compliment, to which Phil just kissed his shoulder blade where he could see a little red dot. “I love you so much. Always have.”

Dan seemed to like those words and he let out a nearly intoxicating noise as Phil started thrusting deeper and faster. Now Phil was panting into Dan’s ear and he took note of maybe going on a few more runs. If Dan and Phil were going to start fucking like rabbits, he would need to build up his stamina.

Only a few minutes went by and Phil was getting close, his cock was twitching inside of Dan, his heart pounding in his chest. The beautiful boy beneath him was now releasing sounds that Phil had never heard before. Not through the walls of their flat or from Anthony’s bedroom. Dan was nearly gargling and there was drool pooling on the pillowcase. He was in absolute bliss. He looked so fucked out and Phil was terribly surprised he hadn’t come yet.

“Gonna-” Dan couldn’t even finish his declaration before Dan was coming all over Phil’s hand and his hole was clenching as his thighs spasmed. Phil lost control in that moment and came inside Dan immediately, his moan reaching Dan’s level of volume.

That’s when Dan fell to the bed and Phil’s cock slid out of him. The boy was completely in a trans which gave Phil a moment to breathe himself. He was recovering from fucking chicken pox. The fatigue was expected.

Phil then decided that his fatigue was nothing compared to the state that Dan looked to be in. He was dripping come from between his cheeks and his bed was now completely covered in jizz. Phil smiled as he looked down at the boy he had spent so little time with this week and asked the Universe what he had done to deserve this. To deserve Dan Howell.

He got up and ran to the bathroom to fetch a moist towel, then delicately cleaning off the various fluids on Dan’s body. He started on his neck, cleaning off the possible marks that Phil had kissed and licked. Then he moved down to clean between the boy’s bum cheeks. Dan hummed in approval and Phil flipped him over to clean his other side. Finally, Phil wiped off his cock and he threw the towel onto the floor. He could deal with that later. For now, Dan needed rest. Surely he would need it for what was about to hit him.

Phil knew from experience.

He stood and picked up the tired boy, surprised by his own strength, carrying him to Phil’s unmade bed. He placed him gently on the sheets and then stretched the duvet over Dan who was looking up at him with a sparkle in his eye that Phil felt blessed to be the object of. Phil moved quickly, grabbing two pairs of his own underwear and then dressing himself and Dan so that they weren’t both completely nude between the sheets when Phil climbed in alongside Dan.

Much like a child might, Dan immediately wrapped himself around Phil and Phil nearly melted when Dan’s warm figure coiled itself around Phil’s bare chest and legs. Dan looked so frail and soft and Phil still couldn’t believe that he had just had sex with the love of his life.

“Phil?” Dan muttered into Phil’s chest. Phil kissed the top of Dan’s sweaty forehead.

“Hm?”

“Im sorry,” Dan said softly, his eyes closed and his mouth moving against Phil’s slight patch of chest hair.

“No, I’m sorry, Dan. I was a really shitty friend. I shouldn’t have said the things I did,” Phil frowned, hoping Dan wouldn’t judge his character for it. “You had every right to have other relationships and I shouldn’t have gotten so jealous.”

Dan smirked and then looked up, a blush covering his face.

“No no…I’m not sorry about sleeping with-” he cut himself off, seeing Phil’s face change from sentimental to cross, abandoning his sentence and picking up a new one. “I meant, I’m sorry in advance for how much you’re going to have to do for me in the next couple days.”

Phil blinked and tried not to think about what Dan had just said about Anthony.

“I’m a bitch when I’m sick and since you’ve already had chicken pox, you can’t get it again. You’re the only one that can help make me soup and shit,” Dan whined, blinking endearingly up at Phil. Phil assumed it was because he knew what he said before hadn’t helped his case. When Phil just stared down at him, Dan rolled his eyes. “And I’m sorry for sleeping with Anthony. There, better?”

Phil smiled and pulled the younger boy closer.

“Much,” he answered. “Thank you.”

“But it’s not like this ever would have happened if I hadn’t…”

“Watch it…” Phil warned, biting his lip and narrowing his eyes. “We aren’t going to talk about it.”

“Just like we aren’t going to talk about how you liked me for EIGHT years and said nothing?” Dan joked, his voice quiet but still quite chipper. “Nothing at all!”

“I was scared!”

“Of what?” Dan laughed. “You know, when you told me you were in love with me, I left the room and stood there nearly cackling. I fucking knew it.”

Phil pushed the younger boy away from him for a moment to look at him. Dan’s eyes were crinkled on the side and his mouth was turned up in a smirk.

“I waited for so long, Phil! If you asked me, I would have said yes in a heartbeat,” he continued, his head shaking. “It’s funny how it took a boy from LA to make you speak up.”

Phil sighed and pulled Dan closer to his chest. He didn’t want to think about all the wasted time. Not right now. Not while they were both still living in a post-orgasm bubble.

“You know, you coulda made yourself more clear ya know…” Phil said, sighing and kissing Dan softly, over and over. As if he couldn’t express one kiss enough.

“I bought you flowers, Phil. Your favorite flowers. How did you miss that?” Dan argued, his voice raising but also breaking and he lowered it back down to a whisper.

“You sent them to your parents too! It wasn’t just me,” Phil claimed, his heart racing. He was sure that Dan could feel it from where his head was resting.

Dan laughed.

“No, Phil. God you’re so stupid…” Dan sighed. “I sent them to my parents after you said nothing for three days. That way it wasn’t awkward. I knew they would call and thank me so I had you answer it. It was all because you didn’t pick up on it in the first place!”

It was Phil’s turn to laugh and he sighed.

“Clearly we need to work on our mind reading skills.”

“Yeah. Maybe that’s why we suck at the bomb game.”

“Most likely.”

“Phil?” Dan said softly.

Phil kissed his forehead like it was some sort of drug to do so. “Hm?”

“I really do love you. You believe me, right?”

Phil thought for a moment. Did he believe his best friend? The one he had been pining and trying to romance for eight years? The one that has stuck by him for years and years, even though he’s a little strange? The one that he had fallen for the moment he met? The one that was lying in his arms and breathing slowly into his chest.

“Of course, Dan,” he answered. “And I love you too.”

“Good.” Dan said it like it was an obligation and not a choice. But wasn’t it? Wasn’t loving Dan obligatory? It was impossible not to love the boy, even when he was part of the reason they hadn’t been together all this time. “Because you’re gonna have to love me tomorrow when I need help distracting myself from the itch.”

“Ah, like you helped me?” Phil sassed, a his playful tone signaling that he didn’t really care. However, teasing Dan was kind of fun and he wasn’t going to let this go.

“Shut up! I said I was sorry!”

“Not for that.”

“Fine…” Dan kissed Phil’s chest softly. “I’m sorry.” His words sounded genuine and he planted another kiss on Phil’s chest. “Anything else?”

“Uhhhh…..” Phil pretended to think about it and Dan just kind of shoved him, letting out another sigh.

“Can we sleep now? I’m tired and I can feel a headache coming already…” Dan mumbled.

“Sure thing,” Phil agreed, his body already reacting with a yawn.

“Oh and Phil?”

“Hm?”

“This is forever, yeah?”

Phil blinked. Was Dan asking what he thought he was asking? So casually as well.

He didn’t want to hesitate so he just tightened his grasp on the sleepy boy and smiled.

“Yes, Love. This is forever.”

-

“Phiiiiiiiil!” Dan called from Phil’s bedroom, the sound of two oven mitts clapping together made Phil roll his eyes from the kitchen. “Where’s my soup? I’m hungry!”

“Three more minutes!” Phil replied, currently watching the soup on the stove.

“Three minuteees?” Dan whined, a surprisingly childish wail coming from his throat. “Can’t you make it any faster?”

Phil put down his stirring spoon and appeared in the doorway, smiling at the boy who was trying to scratch at his spots with the mitts.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Phil walked over and grabbed Dan’s hands. “No scratching.”

“How the hell did you do this? They itch so bad!” Dan complained, pulling Phil down on the bed with him. Phil shook his head and kissed at a couple of the little marks. It may not solve much, but it was better than the scratching.

“I was a bit distracted having a minor crisis,” Phil said, smiling fondly down at Dan’s puppy dog eyes. Dan just looked at his lap and sighed.

“I want one of those…”

“Trust me, you don’t,” Phil answered, getting up and going to the kitchen. “One minute!”

He collected the bowl of soup and brought it back to the bed where he pressed resume on their anime of the week. Dan decided that he would lie in bed all day with Phil while they watched anime and slurped soup. Phil sat behind Dan with the younger boy between his legs, pretending to be the arms for the both of them. He let Dan hold the bowl with his oven mitts and then he spoon fed the whiny boy until there was nothing left.

Yeah, Dan had chicken pox and maybe he was a spoiled brat when he was sick, but at least he was Phil’s spoiled brat.

He would never have said it before, but Phil was grateful for his terrible luck and those little red spots that-

“Dan! Stop scratching!”

“But Phiiiiiiiil…”

[crowkingwrites]

Bang Bang! (Ch.1)

Pairing: Ramsay Bolton x Reader

Summary: Games of Thrones/ A Song of Ice and Fire Modern AU

[This will not be a 'kid-friendly' fic. There will be violence, sex, and use of drugs and alcohol in this fic.]

The Red Wedding happened a week ago. Your boss, Petyr, insists on celebrating the men who "won" this victory, the Red Kings, an assassination group run by the sour-looking Roose Bolton. You, one of Petyr's favorites, is tasked to find out more about these Red Kings. Who are they? Who are their clients? Who is next?You're very good at what you do until you meet him. What do you do? Girls like you can't fall in love. Does the Pretty Bird fly away with him? Or does she ruin the Bloody Bastard and everything he has?

Words: 1857

Read on Ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11108982/chapters/24790743

The soft sheets you laid on were warm. You tugged on the thick duvet. The clean linen smell from it still filled your nostrils. You could softly hear the winds outside hitting the branches. You half-opened your eyes to see the curtain slightly open to reveal outside.

 The gray and cloudy sky indicated it was going to rain soon. You closed your eyes again and half-smiled to yourself. If it was up to you, you would stay in bed all day.

 But it was not up to you. Nothing was.

 You heard a knock on the door. You decided not to answer, you knew he was going to come in anyways. You heard a door opening with footsteps that followed.

 “(Y/N),” you heard Petyr Baelish say. “It’s time, you need to get ready.” Petyr wasn’t any relative of yours, but your boss. However, both of you have spent so much time together, you thought of him as an uncle of sorts.

 You opened your eyes and looked at the man. His age showed through his white hair on the sides of his head. He wore a formal suit. You eyed the little bird tie clip he had on. “Do I have to?”

 “Yes,” Petyr nodded. “You have to. You are a part of my collection. It’s vital that you are there with me.” You were one of Petyr’s favorites. You never made love to him, but you did have a large clientele who paid a lot of money to be with you.

 You never liked the word prostitute or whore. It felt degrading. Escort, companion, sometimes lady of the evening were words you used to described what you did. Petyr had a collection of favorites he always brought with him everywhere.

 You groaned and got out of bed, reluctantly. You were never a morning person, but Petyr insisted on you coming to this important event. Whoever they were, they had rented out Baelish’s headquarters entirely.

 “When are we leaving?” you asked, rubbing your eyes while walking to the shower.

 “Two hours,” Petyr said. “I expect you to look your best. We need to impress our guests. It’s a private party tonight.”

 Guests.

 The word played around in your head as you stepped in the shower. Although, you pretended to be stupid for clients, you paid attention to the news. Catelyn and Robb Stark of Stark Industries were murdered at the wedding of Catelyn’s brother. The world was shocked. Why would anyone murder philanthropic, family-oriented, good people? It made no sense. But those people didn’t know what you knew.

 The underbelly of the wheel was a dark one. You knew the Lannisters. Their gold lions are beautiful, but their teeth are still sharp. You even met Cersei on one occasion. She wasn’t too nice to you, but she did offer wise womanly advice. “What’s between your legs could start a war, use her wisely.” You knew what kind of people they were. That’s why you weren’t surprised to hear the dreadful news of their deaths.

 You stepped out of the shower, and began your routine to get ready. You wanted to look perfect, not for Petyr, but for yourself. You held yourself to a very high standard. Especially, when you knew you were doing more than just one job today.

 In the underbelly of the wheel, people talk. You get valuable information all the time. It wasn’t hard to find out the dirty deed doers behind the Red Wedding. They dubbed themselves the “Red Kings”. They were an assassin group led by the Bolton family. You assumed they were your esteemed guests of the night.

 You slipped on a tight, red dress and a pair of heels. You hoped that a house full of assassins wouldn’t be as bad as it sounded.

 As you walked downstairs of the Bird Cage, you noticed all of these other girls in the lobby area.

Some of them were virgins. Some of them were experts. All of them looked at ‘the favorites’ as if you were spoiled. Ros brought over a cup of coffee for you.

 “Hm, seems they woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” she commented. You took the cup and sipped it.

 “I don’t mind,” you said. “They can stare all they want.”

 “Sometimes I think you’re too forgiving,” Ros said. “Some of them would kill to be one of us.”

 “I almost did,” you joked.

 “Are you talking about that fellow from New York?” Ros smiled. You chuckled and nodded.

 You heard two snaps, and turned your head to see Petyr walking into the lobby, expecting you and Ros to follow him. She also wore a red dress like you. Sometimes you both liked to coordinate your outfits. Her dress really complimented her flaming red hair. You loved your hair, but you always admired hers.

 Both of you followed Petyr to his main office. Petyr left other senior escorts in charge of the other girls. You knew Petyr wasn’t just here to appease to the Boltons and the Red Kings. He had ulterior motives. He always had ulterior motives. Ros and you shared a look before Petyr said anything.          

 “Girls,” Petyr addressed. “The Red Wedding has opened many opportunities to us. We have been serving the Lannisters for quite some time. We want to make sure their new friends, the Boltons, feel welcome. Why do we want this?”

 “So, they don’t murder us?” Ros’ accent came out.

 “No,” Petyr replied annoyingly. “We want them to be our friends. They can help us, and we can help them. Understand?”

 “Yes,” you both said.

 “Good,” Petyr smiled. “I’ve heard that the Bolton family was paid handsomely for their deed at the wedding. They’re going be in a good mood. They’re going to brag. Some of my friends would be interested in what they’re bragging about.” Ros smiled in her usual cocky way, but you remembered this was house of assassins. You didn’t want to underestimate them.

 The Bird Cage was one of Petyr’s mansions hidden in New York City. Petyr had the property tricked out. Not only were there several bars and dancing areas, but also game rooms and a bird aviary. Petyr told many people how this establishment rivaled the Playboy Mansion in LA.

 Ros made four tequila sunrises to share with you while you waited for your guests in the basement bar. Neon lights and spotlights lit up the empty floor. The guest DJ started to play warm up music.

 You heard thunder outside.

 “It’s going to rain,” you said to yourself. Ros raised an eyebrow.

 “You seem awfully concerned about the weather today,” she commented. You leaned into Ros.

 “I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right,” you said under your breath. “Like there’s this storm coming.”

 “Maybe because there’s literally a storm coming?” Ros smiled. “You’re getting nervous for no reason. We’re just here to make Petyr look good. It’s those other girls that are here for the Red Kings.”

 You watched Petyr walk in with two girls by his side, followed by the first group of the Red Kings. Some of them wore suits, other wore a t-shirts and jeans. However, you noticed that each of them had an “X” tattooed on their left hands.

 They filled the basement. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ros check out two of the Red Kings. You couldn’t tell which ones she was looking at, but you did admit, some of them were nice to look at.

 “Roose Bolton,” Petyr greeted out loud. Roose Bolton didn’t look too intimidating. He donned a normal suit, and stood in front of his men. His eyes looked straight into Petyr’s.

 “Petyr Baelish,” Roose smiled. Except it wasn’t exactly a smile. His face contorted into one. You now knew why Roose never smiled; it was a mess. You wished you never seen him smile ever again.

 “Welcome to the Bird Cage,” Petyr smiled. “As you can see, many of my pretty birds are here with me. I’m sure they will enjoy the company of your men.”

 “I’m sure they will,” Roose replied. “Can we begin this soon? My men are very eager to get started.”

 “Of course, straightaway,” Petyr smiled. Roose nodded as an approval, and his men started to order drinks and flirt with girls. The DJ start to blast an even house song throughout the area.

 You couldn’t stop looking everywhere.

 “Hey, chill,” Ros said. “You’re getting me all nervous. Stop that.”

 “Sorry,” you apologized. Ros and you looked on as one by one each of Bolton’s men picked a girl and off they went into a room in the mansion.

 Ros and you made your way onto the main floor. You looked on as a Red King caressed another Pretty Bird, and she led him into a private bathroom.

 One of the blonde girls teased two of them. They couldn’t decide who could have her, so they both took her away. She giggled and smiled as she left the room. It seemed that the private event was off to a good start.

 You couldn’t shake the paranoia you were experiencing. Something was off here. Rain started to pour down on the windows behind you.

 You looked around the room, and everyone seemed to be having a great time. You turned to Ros, opening your mouth when there was a loud bang. Everyone turned to the noise and there he was.

 You knew Roose had a bastard son, but you never met him. His dark brown hair was everywhere as if he just came from a fight. He was drenched from the storm. Water dripped down his nose.

 “Ramsay,” Roose said behind you. You turned to see Petyr keeping a straight face, but his hands told a different story.

 “Hello father,” Ramsay smiled. “Am I late to the party?”

 “Yes, but we are just getting started,” Petyr smiled and side-eyed Ros. “Why don’t you join us?” Ramsay walked over to you all. The closer he got, the less you paid attention to the storm outside. His blue eyes scanned the room as if he was searching for something.

 “I hope both of you don’t mind,” Ramsay said, brandishing a knife to everyone. “I had a little trouble getting here.”

 “Ramsay,” Roose scanned his son as you did. You noticed the torn clothing and his cuts. Some were still bleeding. “What happened?”

 “I told you, father,” Ramsay smiled, dimples and all. There was something sinister about his smile. It was the same smile you would see on a lion killing their prey or a murderer looking at their victim, proud and satisfied. “Traffic and the weather.”

 “Let’s get you cleaned up, hm?” Petyr said, breaking into the conversation. “(Y/N), why don’t you get him some new clothes and clean him up, yes? Good.” Your eyes grew wide, and you turned to Petyr to object until you felt a hand on your wrist.

You immediately turned back to see Ramsay holding you, inches away from your face. Lightning hit the ground and you jumped back.

 “What’s wrong, little bird?” Ramsay said to you. “Afraid of a little rain?”

[writing-royza]

Two Hundred and Twenty-eight - Pain and Wounds, 3.0

A/N: Happy Sunday, everyone, and Happy Easter! It’s been a busy, topsy-turvy, occassionally stressful weekend, but now it’s back to the regularly scheduled Royai. Have fun!

I do not own FMA.

Two Hundred and Twenty-eight - Pain and Wounds, 3.0

He glanced up from the kitchen table as she entered, Hayate held in one arm. The pup looked distinctly sulky, dark eyes turning in a soulful look toward Roy. Riza, on the other hand, was unconcerned, focussed on getting the door shut before her pet decided he wanted down.

Roy lifted an eyebrow. “Getting a bit big to be carried around like that, isn’t he?” he asked.

“Nearly.” Walking across the floor, her free hand lifting to scratch behind Hayate’s ears, she smiled. “The rest of his vaccinations were a breeze, but when I mentioned the time he accidentally ate that bit of chocolate out of Edward’s pocket, the veterinarian insisted on a full physical exam. Which included taking his temperature.”

Roy’s eyes instantly went to the dog’s rear end, and the tail held low. “He got a thermometer up his —?”

“Yes. And since then, he won’t walk anywhere. I had to carry him out of the vet’s office, up the stairs….” She sighed, turning toward her bed. “The vet assured me he’ll be back to normal by tomorrow morning. Some dogs just really don’t like it.”

“Can’t say I blame him,” Roy said under his breath.

Depositing the dog on the comforter, Riza turned back toward the table. “What are you working on?” she asked, stepping up beside him. “Something for —“

She cut herself off with a sharp gasp at the same time there was a thunk! from somewhere beside Roy’s knee. She half-doubled over, catching herself with one hand on the back of his chair, drawing a second, hissing inhale through her teeth.

He winced, knowing what must have happened. “Ohhhh, that sounded like it hurt.” Glancing down to where her hand was grasping her kneecap, he winced sympathetically. “You okay?”

“I will be.” Standing straight, she shook her leg out gently. “Hit the table leg right in the centre of my knee….”

“Oh, ouch.” Setting his pen down, he motioned with one hand. “Let me see, make sure you’re not going to be bleeding all over the place….”

Helping her settle her foot on the edge of his chair, he pushed the bottom hem of her skirt to one side, just far enough that her knee was exposed. An angry red line was already beginning to show on the skin, but the skin remained unbroken. “Well, it looks okay. Probably smarts like nobody’s business, but it’ll fade.” Nevertheless, he delivered a quick, light kiss to the injury. “There. That’ll guarantee it.”

———————-

Riza always privately wondered if, lying stretched out over him like this, she was too heavy for him to breathe. Goodness knew that when the positions were reversed, he had to be careful to keep most of his weight off of her, lest she suffocate. So was the reverse true?

The fingers playing idly with a long strand of her hair and the relaxed, easy smile on his face dispelled that minor worry.

“I have to wonder,” Roy murmured, watching the way the light shifted on her hair as he wrapped it around a finger, “why we never did this sooner.”

“You mean besides the fact that it’s entirely unlawful and we’d be reprimanded and probably punished for it?” She smiled wryly. “Well, there was the fact that we were separated by Bradley and under surveillance by Pride, but even then, we managed a time or two. But before that, you had been wounded by Lust and were still recuperating.”

Something mischievous and unmistakably carnal sparked briefly in his eyes. “Well, Lust was the one that injured me in the first place,” he said softly. “Maybe lust would have helped it heal faster….”

Riza lifted an eyebrow at the insinuation, not quite able to keep from smiling at the terrible pun. “I would have thought she would finish what she started and kill you on the spot,” she quipped. “But if you’re still that concerned about it….”

She wriggled backward a little way, smile widening at the sudden hitch in his breath. The hand that had been toying with her hair instantly stopped, frozen as he forgot exactly what he had been doing. Leaning to the side, Riza studied the patch of darker burn and whitish laceration scars almost curiously. One finger traced the edge. “It looks to me like it healed just fine.” She pressed a kiss to the direct centre, where a thinner scar marked one of two stab wounds. “There. For a little insurance.”

Roy laughed quietly, the backs of his fingers stroking her shoulder. “Against what?”

“I don’t know. Getting stabbed in the stomach again?”

———————-

She lay on her stomach, arms folded beneath her head, waiting patiently as he hovered behind her in silent concentration. “If you told me what you were looking for,” she said, quietly so as not to break his train of thought, “maybe I could help you.”

“Just double-checking one part of the equations,” Roy murmured, half-distracted. He scribbled something briefly on the notebook in his hand. “I remember there being something about a limit to the power level that a single person can use, and I want to make sure I don’t accidentally exceed it.”

“And literally burn yourself out,” Riza finished, nodding in understanding. “Seems like a good idea.” She jumped slightly as his finger touched the bare skin just above her right shoulder blade.

“Sorry.” He laughed quietly. “Cold hands?”

“No… just didn’t see it coming….”

There was a pause, and then his notebook snapped closed. The mattress shifted as he leaned forward to where he could see her face. Dark eyes studied her a moment, his eyebrows pulled into a studying frown…. “Lying.”

Riza held his gaze for a moment longer before rolling her eyes. “Oh, all right. I must have slept wrong last night; my shoulder muscles hurt slightly. I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh.” The frown dissolved into a smile as he sat back. “Hold still.”

His fingers pressed again into the same spot, drawing a sharp hiss from her. He murmured an apology, massaging gently but firmly. “How do you keep doing this to yourself?”

“Because sometimes I have to share the bed with a dog that won’t lie still.” The corner of her mouth tugged upwards. “Or with Hayate.”

“Oh, she is on fire today,” he commented sarcastically. “How long have you been waiting to use that one?”

“Not long. Maybe — ah!” Her breath left her in an involuntary gasp as he pushed sharply, directly over the knot settled up and to the left of her right shoulder blade. Pain flared around the spot, followed just as quickly by cool relief. “Oh…. That was it exactly.”

“I know.” She could hear the satisfied smirk in his voice. “I’ve gotten pretty good at sorting out where exactly muscle knots are, thanks to you.” He leaned close, delivering a kiss-it-better to the spot. “Sorry I didn’t warn you; figured maybe I should just do it quick and get it over with.” Rolling to the side, he propped his head up with one hand, his expression not entirely innocent. “Now, do you want to talk about that little moan just now, or —?”

———————-

He woke up breathing hard, eyes staring at the ceiling in the dark and panic filling his chest. Dark… too dark. A dozen different memories from before his sight had been restored flooded in, filling his mind with that all-encompassing blackness. Roy could hear his own breath loud in his ears, knew he was hyperventilating, but couldn’t stop, couldn’t slow down —

Suddenly, her face appeared, brown eyed wide and alert even though she had just been pulled from sleep herself. Her hand gripped his chin, forcing him to keep his gaze on her. “Roy, slow down. Look at me.”

Her voice was even and calm, but with an edge of command. Wasn’t he supposed to give the orders? His eyes drifted to the side, before her hand released him to tap his cheek. “Look at me.”

His eyes found her again, and she smiled. “There. Deep breath, now….” Roy forced his lungs to inhale as best as he could, the breath shuddery and short, but the panic began to fade. “Again.” Not as short, this time, and steadier. “Again.” Better.

Riza’s fingers brushed his bangs away from his eyes. “You’re okay. Nightmare?”

“As per usual.” Beginning to feel the chill from a cold sweat, he tugged her back down beside him, soaking in the warmth from her nestled against his shoulder. “But as long as you’re here, I think I’ll be fine.”

“Of course you will be.” Rising up on one elbow, she leaned close to press a kiss to his temple. “That should keep things quiet for the rest of the night.” Another kiss, this one lingering on his lips. “And that should help keep you distracted until you fall asleep again.”

He couldn’t himself. “I don’t know…. Might take more than just one….”

[designationpinknoise]

Transformer X OC scenarios: It’s an earthling thing.

(Idw)

Sleep: Drift/Yuki :this was before they got together

The first time Drift ever saw an organic sleep was quite a nerve wracking one, he walked into his hab suite and noticed it was eerily silent "Yuki?" he called usually she greets him or is sitting on her makeshift bed reading. but, not today...he scanned the room cautiously; keeping his hand on his sword in case something happened, when a tiny form laying on his berth caught his optic, Drift felt his spark sink when he realized it was Yuki.

He rush over to his berth reached for his small friend; only to freeze when she suddenly whimpered and rolled over, he watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest every time she took a breath; she looked very calm almost like she were meditating , he frowned before comming Ratchet who said she was napping or Micro-charging, When Yuki woke up she nearly had a heart attack seeing Drift staring at her.

"D-Drift, what are you doing?"

" watching you sleep, you looked very tranquil."

"I noticed, why were you watching me?"

"Because you weren't moving and I thought you were hurt."

The brunette felt flattered that he was worried about her, though Drift was curious about something else "But, here's a question for you," the white swords-mech said watch her stretch "Why in my berth?" he smirk as he watched her ears turn pink.

Rodimus & Kid!Amber: Lose teeth

(this takes place when Rodimus was still on earth and acted Amber's guardian/foster parent.)

Rodimus frowned from his desk as he watched his little charge stare morosely at her apple slices, "Sweetspark are you alright?" he asked, the little girl nodded staring down at her plate "Amber Rose-Roderick, don't lie to me." the 7 year old flinched when he full-named her.

"I know something's bothering you haven't spoken a word today and barely eaten anything" he pointed out her odd behavior then narrowed his eyes "...is someone bullying you?" the blue eyed girl shook her head he got up went to her little area.

"Are you sick?" he put a digit to her forehead only for the little girl to swat it away, shook her head again, and muttered something, he hummed then leaned "Come again?" Amber growled "I sthed em Phine!" she lisped before the flame colored mech could say anything she grabbed one of the slices shoved into her mouth; then started chewing then froze when she felt her gums hurt and something hard in her mouth.

"Amber?" he heard something crunch that didn't sound like a an apple, she spat into her plate and Rodimus's optics widened when he saw a tooth laying in the tiny puddle of saliva,energon and chewed up apple he looked back at his charge then,

back at the tooth, Amber, tooth, Amber, tooth, {Computer dial up sounds,,,}*Bing* "Ratchet?!?!..." in the end Rodimus ran into Carly on the way to the med bay; who explained it was normal for children to start losing their baby teeth at Amber's age he skeptical, but took her word for it.

Present day

19 year old Amber cringed as her boyfriend told the story of how she lost her first tooth, her face a lovely shade of dark magenta as the bots giggled; "I still have a few of her baby teeth." he said causing her to look at him mortified. "Why?" he shrugged "Carly gave me a little box and said should keep a memento of the occasion." then he remember something "Oh speaking of which you seen when she got chicken pox, it was adorable!~" as the bots snickered at her as she screamed in horror and ran out of Swerve's "Babe where you going?"

Brainstorm&Sybil: Cracking Joints

It was a pretty quiet day on the lost light, very slow to, when Brainstorm decided to visit his favorite, little E-type, well he got to her room, she answered looking frustrated and tired her mismatched eyes found and lit up when she saw him when she but, it seemed forced as she let him in.

"Hi stormy! what brings you here?"

"Oh, just a slow day on the Lost light, figured I'd see how you were doing?"

"I'm fine except for this damn kink in my damn back..."

"Kink?"

He walked up to her, curiously and Sybil awkwardly told him were to put hands, and she inhaled held her breath "Okay push!" he pushed into her spine as the sandy haired girl exhaled, Brainstorm nearly jumped out of his armor when these loud pops came from Sybil's back causing her yelp then sigh contently before the mech grabbed her shoulders,

"What was that sound? did I hurt you?" he asked panicking looking for any signs of pain. "Nope, just popped my back in the right place.~" she said rubbing her neck then stretched, Brainstorm's  worry was suddenly replaced, Need  watching her body tighten up, and the fact she wearing nothing but a sports bra and tiny shorts probably on her way to the training room before he got there. "You since you're dressed for it, I have a work out we can do,~" he said slyly bringing his servo up to one of her butt cheeks and squeezed as Sybil's face turned bright pink.  

Prime

Prowl and Janis: sight

"Gah!" Prowl jumped back in shock as he was his mate remove some weird clear thing from her optic, "What's wrong?" she asked in shock, as he looked at the odd covering then at his mate "What is that?" he frowned she looked at the cover on her finger tip, "My contact lenses?" she said as the police mech tilted his head incredulously, "They help me with my vision." she explained blinking a few times as she took the other one out.

"I'm near sighted."

"You're...blind?"

"No,not like that! Everything within 39 inches of my face is blurry, it worse in my right eye."

"How long have you had these... contact lens?"

She blushed rummaged around one of her boxes and showed him a photo, Prowl tilted his helm as he looked at the younger girl in the photo she had longer hair and wore glasses "is this you?" he asked she nodded think I just about to graduate middle school and Ai Lin and Ryann dragged me the eye doctors and told to try them," she flinched at the memory...

Mini-flashback

"But I like my glasses..." Janis said looking at her friends as they stood in front of the optometrist, "come of Janis it'll be fine, you been wearing glasses since elementary, wouldn't you like to change?" Ryann said the blonde shuffled nervously as Ai butted in,

"And you don't have to risk them being stolen or broken and wiping them off every time you walk into a warm building." Janis went to protest about what if she lost them or forgot to take them out, but the two girls had already dragged her inside. Janis was escorted into the exam room.

while her two friend sat in the waiting room, then heard Janis freaking out the exam room opened and a whimpering crying Janis came out wiping her eyes, as the doctors handed her prescription, as Ryann and Ai Lin nodded and thanked the staff before walking to a coffee shop, when they got inside;

Janis's glasses fogged up and she took them off to clean someone knocked into her back causing her to drop them, the hazel eyed girl heard Ai Lin and Ryann yelling at someone before finding her glasses and winced he right lens had a perfectly round pea sized chip in the bottom corner.

"Guys I think I'll reconsider those contacts...."

---

"Had them since," she said putting on her reading glasses as Prowl faced turned neutral she looked at up at him, "Though I'll freaked out that forget to take the out that's stupid, eh?" her bot still didn't say anything, Janis stared at him concerned "Prowl?" the police mech fans kicked on, :: | By Primus she's hot! :: | he mentally screamed before glitching out.

Megatron & Temperance: hair

"augh...I need to cut my hair." Temperance mumbled it was getting too long, and was becoming a hindrance to take care of, she walked down the street and into a hair dressers about ten minutes later one of the vehicons pulled up, to building and a man with a purple buzz-cut red sun-glasses and black suit, got out he walked in,

"Miss Monroe? Lord Megatron has...what?" he awkwardly stared as Temperance finished paying the hairdresser, then looked at Steve who looked at her shock "what happened to that stringy stuff on your head?" he asked looked at her now shoulder length hair.

"I cut it off, What does Megs need?" she asked the vehicon looked sick awkwardly as gestured to his alt-mode still staring at her shorter hair oddly, needles to say Temperance did turned a few helms as she followed Steve to megaton's quarters, then they got there Megatron nodded at them then did a double take when he saw Temperance and mass displaced.

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your hair! it's short!"

"Oh, I had it cut."

The warlord gave her the same look Steve gave her, "why? why would you do something like that?" he demanded as he awkwardly used one of his claws to examined her side swept bangs, "Because it was bothering me, and expensive to take care of?" she said with shrug while Megatron seemed to be looking, for something,

"I just don't understand why you would mutilate yourself like this?" he said running he claws through it carefully Temperance was floored Mutilate, why would he think...oh; they all must've thought her hair was literally a body part and she just amputated it "Oh, no no! It's didn't hurt."

Megatron looked very confused. "besides it'll grow back." his red optics widened, "It grows?!" six months later, sure enough her hair was almost back to it's original length, thought Temperance still trimmed it from time to time to the war-lord dismay as he was still a little skeptical about it.      

Bayverse

Lambo twins x Witwicky twins: Heartbeats

It was a slow day for the lambo twins they were in holo-forms sat on the bleachers watching watching Kendra's track meet, a few people cheered as the runners made passed the finish line. Kenny nearly fell over before being picked up by Sideswiped,

who gave her a sly grin "Good job. Kenny" the out of breath girl gave him a tired smile and hugged him to her before he could protest about her being sweaty, "whoa!" the bi-color eyed girl blinked and pulled away thinking she hurt him,

only for Sides to hug her tightly to him causing her to wrap her legs around him from the sudden action "Side-duh Sydney!? what are you d-doing? she said as people giving them odd looks, and sly grins and few jealous glances, he just purred as Sunstreaker and and Billie came up behind them

"Bro? what are you doing?"

"Her spark...."

"Huh? she doesn't have... what about it."

"It's making a sound...a nice sound..."

Kendra's face started to heat up"It's getting faster..." the red haired twin said as""Sunder"" saw her ears starting to change color, and threw a towel over her before anyone saw her true colors(1), while Billie did crowd control "yeah, yeah nothing to see here.." just a Sides put Kendra down "hey I'm gonna go shower real, quick see out front" she kissed Sideswipe on the cheek, Billie followed her as Sides look at his brother curiously "what?" Sunny hissed "aren't you little bit curious, to hear it?" the blonde avatar tsk'd and walked back to his alt-mode.

A few hours later

the Lambo's now massed displaced sat in the Witwicky's basement Sides and Kenny were playing video games while Billie was working on an art project, before taking a break to get a drink when heard a growl of protest then, she vaguely remembered a weight on her and though it was Mojo or Frankie, But nope it was a shrunk down Sunstreaker with his helm to her chest, the older Witwicky twin felt her face heat up, as the marigold mech purred cuddling closer to her chest, Sideswipe was right it is a nice sound...

-----------------

[guessmonsta]

"I just did some calculations, and I've determined that you're full of shit" for Kuroo???

Kuroo Tetsurou:Kuroo woke up that morning and he immediately knew something was wrong. For starters, he couldn’t hear the familiar hum of Hozier from the living room. She had always listened to her music in the morning, claiming that is was a “jubilation process during Satanic hours.”, and for her to not do so seemed a bit unsettling. Secondly, he couldn’t even hear her. He hated to backhandedly diss her, but she was quite the cluz. It wasn’t uncommon for her to accidentally slam a drawer our bang into a wall or anything, something that gave away signs of her being present/ Of course, he could’ve just come to the conclusion that she had left a bit early, but then again, she wouldn't leave a minute earlier than necessary even if you payed her a million dollars, so she was definitely in the house. Truth be told, Kuroo was a bit scared. He opened his bedroom door, the soft creak causing him to wince a bit. There was a high possibility that she could possibly be sleeping still, but when he peeked through the door and saw her bed empty, that thought was contradicted. Truth be told, he was a bit nervous to walk into the kitchen. He knew he was being irrational, but he couldn’t help but feel an arising nervous gut. Although, the nervous gut subsided when he saw her on the couch, holding a mug in her hands and staring at the wall in front of her cynically. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.” He called out, flopping next to her and drawing an arm around her shoulder. “Why’re you so quiet today? For a moment there I thought you were dead, or something.”She didn’t respond however, just began to focus on the full mug in front of her. “Are you ok?” Kuroo pondered. She shot him a look, one that screamed malice, then looked back down at her mug. “Do you know what this is, Tetsurou?” She asked, pointing at the liquid. “Coffee?”“No. No, it’s not coffee. Why is that?” “Uh… Because you were in a tea mood today?”“No…” She muttered again. “It’s not coffee, because someone decided to drink my last latte. Do you know who that could be, Tetsurou?”“Uh, was it you?” He shrugged. She set the mug down on the counter, which made Kuroo a bit relieved. The way she clutched the handle on the side put him on edge, like she was going to dump it on him, because she would. By the look in her eyes, she would crack the mug on his head, too.“Why the hell did you drink my last latte?”“I didn’t though.”“Really then, who did?” She chuckled. “Daichi from nextdoor? Did fucking Daichi from nextdoor come into our apartment and steal my last latte?”“No.”“Who the hell drank my latte then?”“Not me.”“Tetsurou, I just did some calculations and I’ve determined that you’re full of shit.” She crossed her arms, standing up from the couch and beginning to walk away.Kuroo shook his head, lunging forward to grab her before she could get anywhere and tugged her back on the couch. She caterwauled, although she didn’t put up a fight against him. He pulled her towards his chest and ran his hands through her hair, shushing her softly. She relaxed a lot in his arms, allowing him to do whatever he pleased. This is how Kuroo knew her little explosion was just a little argument she wanted to spurr up for fun. If she wanted to have fun, he’d give her fun.“Shh...It’ll be okay, baby. I know you have separation anxiety but it’s all gonna be okay, it’s all gonna be okay.”“Are you making fun of me right now?” She sassed, ramming her elbow into Kuroo’s gut. “I’m going to go scratch all your test tubes. All of them.” She began to squirm, a feeble attempt at breaking free.“Don’t you dare.” Kuroo began holding onto her a little less lovingly, his arms encircling her chest and forcefully gripping at the fabric of her camisole to hold her back. “I will literally drink all your lattes forever.”“Oh?” She peeped, ceasing her struggling. “So you admit to drinking my latte, then?”“If I admit to it will you leave my test tubes alone?”“Mhm.”“Okay, okay, I drank your nasty latte. It was the only caffeine in the house last night at three and I needed something.”She peered up at him, a small satisfied smirk on her face. “See? That’s all I needed. Thank you baby.” She popped up to kiss his chin, then relaxed in his arms again. Kuroo so desperately wanted to enjoy this moment, he really did, but he couldn’t help but be confused. She was just acting ravenous, and now suddenly, miraculously, she wanted to cuddle. He nudged her in the side, gaining her attention in an instant. “I’m confused.” He said.“How so?”“You wanted me dead like.., two seconds ago.”“It was a facade, baby. I know I get things out of you easier when I’m negative.”“Wow.” Kuroo whistled, his fingers finding their way to her hair again. “I bet my test tubes are already scratched, huh?”“No, but test me one more damn time and I’ll throw them off the balcony.”

[seriouslysoulsearching-blog]

I’ve been so, so busy

The whole month of January has practically gone by and I haven’t posted anything! Day shift at work is VERY consuming. The pace is SO different from nights. The first week or two of working days I felt like my head was spinning from trying to keep up with all the buzz of day shift and trying to learn new stuff. Not to mention waking up at 5 in the morning--ugh! I feel like crap every morning I wake up. I just zombie through the first hour and a half until I get onto the floor. However, once the day starts, I hit the ground running. I don’t feel tired during the day because there’s literally any time to sit. When I come home, I’m WIPED. Days has a whole different pace because there’s more daily meds to be given,  discharges/admissions happen more frequently, report to the NPs, talking to the patient’s and their families. It’s A LOT but I’m still liking it. I feel so incredibly grateful to be working on the unit that I do. The floor itself is interesting because it’s trauma. It’s not boring as shit like a general med-surg floor would be. It’s a smaller unit and the patients still share 2 to a room and the floor is sectioned off in pods so all my patients are in the same area (i.e: I’m not running all over the place) And most importantly, the staff are WONDERFUL people. So open to giving help and teaching me when I ask questions/ask for assistance. They are so friendly and so nice. Even though I enjoyed nights, I’m going to officially work for days. My manager approached me two or so weeks ago and told me that I would have the option to choose what shift I would work once orientation ends (which is Feb 4th--two weeks away!!???!?!) since there are people leaving on both shifts. I was a little undecided for a few days, but I was sold working for days when I was able to actually be productive on my days off--such as: running errands, seeing friends, or simply having time to myself. I’ve even gone out after work a few times to meet up with friends.

Which brings me to my next point I wanted to mention, I’ve been feeling more up to socializing than I have in a really long time. And most importantly, I finally feel like I’m beginning to be more like myself again. I feel lighter in the sense that my mind is less heavy. Don’t get me wrong, my anxiety is prevalent on the regular, but I’m laughing more sincerely--I mean like good belly laughs, almost crying. I’m getting along SO much better with my mom--I’m able to practice more patience with her. I don’t know if that’s because it’s a good week for me or that’s how it’ll hopefully move forward with my mom. I think now that she see’s me working and making a living, she’s giving me more space/ given me more respect. Which is nice but I should have been getting that regardless. I DIGRESS. Back to my point. I’ve been socializing more as of late. My old friend Jack texted me earlier this week inviting me to see his band play at a place in Philly. He said Cate, Zayna, Jess were going and that after his gig they were just gonna drink afterwards at that bar. I had work that night but I told him I’d come afterwards. I figured I hadn’t seen my old high school friends in quite some time and it would be a great setting to meet up with them--and I was exactly right, I had a ton of fun with them. I felt like I always say I want to hang out with that group when they’re hanging/ say I want to see Jack play, but never follow through. But on Thursday night, I followed through and had a good time. I brought a change of clothes with me to work, got changed and cleaned up in the staff locker room, and pushed through the sleepiness. I’m glad I did! Cate is my true connection left to that group. Well, actually, Zayna will always be my bud too, we’ve always been so comfortable with each other and every time we see each other we leave off right were we left it. Anyway, I’m just proud I followed through this time. THEN, Friday night (yesterday), I met up with Lindsay. I texted her last weekend out of the blue and asked if she wanted to get drinks in the city. I wanted to see her new apartment and catch up. I feel like now that I’m single and working, when I do have time off, I want to be more proactive. I had a GREAT time with her as well. Our conversation was so fun. Considering we’ve known each other since we were three, we’ve had a natural connection, so that too felt really natural. I wasn’t feeling anxious leading up to it or during, which was a concern of mine. Anyway, we walked to a pub called Dandelion a few blocks away from her apartment in rittenhouse. I loved the atmosphere of the place it was so cozy, so packed, and really reminded me of pubs in Ireland. I love that Lindsay is at a point in her life where she’s just so free in terms of like, interacting with guys. Like when were signing the check at the pub, she put her phone number down on the receipt of our cute waiter! Like that is bold! I’d wuss out of doing that. I definitely want to keep going out with her because she’s single like me and just down to have a good time. And I really need that right now. We were joking our goal of the night was for each of us to make out with a guy that night (it didn’t happen, but the night was still great) Then after the pub, we stopped by her apartment to put my leftovers in the fridge. We were sitting and talking on her couch, and I was getting all comfy thinking I’d be ready for bed and even mentioned possibly just taking the patco back home, and Lindsay was like “it’s not even midnight yet. c’mon kait you said we had to find guys that we were gonna make out with. lets go to this bar right down the block for a drink” and I was like welllll I kinda wanna sleep and she didn’t take no for an answer she replied with something along the lines of “cmon lets just go to this bar and we could order water and go home after that” And I couldn’t say no to that! I grabbed my coat and off we went. When we first got to the bar, it was kind of empty. We grabbed a seat at the bar and got chatting with these two super attractive bartenders (we later figure out the one is engaged--sigh--but he was really cool to talk with regardless) We ended up staying there until 3 in the morning hahaha. When we got back to her apartment, we munched on my cold leftover fries and fell asleep in her bed. It was SUCH a good night. She’s such a good balance for me. Lindsay has always been the bossy type and in this situation, it was beneficial! I’m glad she pushed me to get my coat on.

Another major thing: I BOUGHT A CAR TODAY!!! Actually, funny story leading up to that, I woke up at 7:30 this morning (that’s right, I only slept for like, 3 1/2 hours) to make sure everything was lined up so I could get my car today. It was before nine when I got on the Patco. 15th/16th station wasn’t all that busy so I didn’t really think much that when I went underground and got onto the train (which I watched come in, btw) it was empty. The train doors close and the lights turn off. I’m like “hm okay, they’ll come back on in a second, I know sometimes they flicker” well, THEY DIDN’T. And then I noticed it didn’t stop at 12/13th st, or 9th/10th, the train would just blow through them. By 8th and market stop I came to the full realization that I’m on an empty, out of service train! I was underground and had no phone service. My next though was, well WHO am I going to call?? Would I just end up going all the way to lindenwold to the service station and have to bang on the heavy metal train doors until someone saw me?? To be fair, I stayed REALLY calm through this. I realized how comical it was from the getco. So because I stayed calmed, I was able to think about finding a number to called based on remembering there was a sing on train I read every time I take it which says something along the lines of “if you see suspicious behavio , call this number” And it turned out being helpful! The patco police number was on that sig! Once the bridge was crossing over the river, I was able to get service again, and I knew once I’d get back on the jersey side my service would drop for the first few stops since they’re also under ground. So as soon as I saw that 4G icon pop up on my phone, I called the patco police and was like “um hi hello I’m a passenger on a train and I don’t think they know I’m on it because the lights are out and they haven’t stopped at any of the stops yet” hahah sucha funny phone call to make. And they were like, well what train are you on/which direction/what stop do you need to get off on/we’ll contact them/we’ll call you back (in gist) Welp, turns out, it was an express train that was running today for the women’s march that was goin exclusively to and from 15th street stop to collingswood. WHOOPS. Hahaha. Makes for a great story and I got plenty of laughs out of it today. And I managed to make other people laugh while telling it. It was a fun mini adventure to have while mildly hungover.

I’m going have to finish talking about my day today tomorrow. I have work in the morning and it’s almost 10:30. I NEED SLEEEEEP so tired. Especially from today. So exhausting! I did so much running around. As soon as I got off the patco, I was calling the car dealership about faxing stuff over to my credit union in order to secure the loan. The loan office was only open til 1 today so I had a time crunch. By the time the dealership sent over the proof of purcahse papers to the credit union, it was 11. And I called twice in the morning and couldn’t reach anyone. So I decided to drive over there myself to hopefully speed up the process of getting that check from the credit union. I get to the office building around 11:45 and the woman was like “well, I may not be able to process it today because there’s another person who I was gonna do the car loan paperwork and I may not be able to do yours before 1 today” blah blah blah. But I was like “welp, I’m just gonna sit here” and sure enough, I got helped on. While waiting for the loan person to get all my paper work ready for me to sign, I had to call the insurance company and open up my own policy. And I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. Honestly this whole process of buying a car, I’ve basically followed my mom’s suggestions (she’s more informed) but I have like barely a fucking clue about the interest rate, car insurance, and loan shit. My brain was FRIED. Not to mention, I was moderately hung over, and hadn’t gone home yet. So it’s like 1 PM by the time I sign my loan paperwork and get the check, and I’m STILL wearing my outfit from last night, with the make up I didn’t wash off my face from the night before, smelling like B.O. So I quickly race home, shower off my hang over, and shove my face with food because I hadn’t eaten at all at that point. Then around 2:30, I headed down to the car dealer with my mom to pick up my car. That shit took almost two or so hours to get done as well. I was so eager just to get the fuck out of there. Doing this whole adult thing is fucking exhausting. I was running around ALL day today for this fucking car purchase. It was damn worth it though because I absolutely love my new car. I love love love it. Every thing about it. I feel so comfortable driving in it. I enjoy being higher up off the ground--I can see so much more. 

Okay so I said I was gonna go to bed but ended up writing all that so now I REALLY need to stop typing and get some sleep because it’s almost 10:45 and I’ve gotta be up sooner than I’d like. It’s kinda funny that everything I wrote is basically from this past week. It goes to show how much goes on on the day-to-day. I still have to talk about that date I had with a guy named Dan and my current feelings about looking for guys. But for now...zzzzzzz