#rectoress

[lodgeofeilhart]

Love her hair, her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her cleft chin, her cheekbones, her eyebrows, everything really. This woman is a living goddess!

[therelentless]

😟 - I wish I had the courage to start talking to you.

Intimidation Meme ;; @rectoress

[lodgeofeilhart]

I'm just praying that part 2 of season 3 gives us a lot more Yennefer and Tissaia before the heartbreak and sadness.

[inkamumbles]

Here is my contribution to the teeny tiny Tissaia bang!

The idea for it came from a headcanon that after Sodden, Tissaia is driven mad by her grief for Yennefer’s disappearance, and turns to the dark side of the force.

In other words, Tissaia looses herself to anger, and becomes 🔥 Dark Tissaia 🔥

(Click on the pic for better quality)

[camouflagedpath]

How I feel about Tissaia's hands, Season 3 edition:

Season 2 edition also included:

[ask-tissaia-de-vries]

🩷 but i want a fluffy family au😠

Go birth some kids so i can live in my delusions. They would be so cute🥹

...

I-

[therelentless]

Her words. Mentally, he was patting himself on the back. "What can I say, I'm a very considerate guy." That's what he liked to say, but many would disagree if it was required of them to be honest. -- The smile that appeared on his lips, the look on his face, it was rather evident that at this very moment, he was feeling quite proud of himself for coming up with what he considered to be such a 'wonderful idea'.

His attention kept shifting from the coffee and back to her, hoping that she would take a sip from it, and perhaps say something that would help them start a conversation where the focus wasn't him (if only for a short period of time), but the impending doom of being stuck in the same room as her, with no one else for her to put her attention on, and pretty much forced to talk through whatever unresolved issues people out there thought he had and needed to work on, was quick to set in.

He sat up straight, with his hands resting on his knees and he shook his head in silence as he thought of a good answer to her question. "You just look so tired, all the time, no offense, so I thought. 'Mhmm... would Tissaia... or well, excuse me. Dr. De Vries would like a coffee? Of course she would!' and here we are now. I did think of getting one of those tiny baby bottles of alcohol in case you wanted to add a kick to it, but then I said 'Noooo, that would be a bad idea. A very bad idea'. Not acceptable, so I left that out."

@therelentless

"I did!" Not. This coffee, it had all been Guillermo (his personal assistant), but the whole coffee thing had been his idea. This therapy, this was not for Nandor. As much as he enjoyed talking about himself and relished in the sound of his own voice, sometimes her questions made him uncomfortable and got him thinking about things he preferred to ignore. Wanting to prolong the short-lived silences of this meeting any way he could, it had been his idea to show up with some unrequested coffee for her, making it up as a small token of gratitude (was that acceptable? he didn't care), because he had gotten to the conclusion that the more she occupied herself by drinking from it, the less she would talk, therefore the fewer questions she would ask. And what did she like in her coffee, who the fuck knew, he made that a problem for Guillermo to figure it out. "You better start drinking it now before it gets cold. Might taste terrible later."

He did. “You did.” The reiteration wan't so much for him as it was for herself.  Sounding it out loud gave it shape, as if the words themselves were giving it some sort of tangible quality and making it real. 

“Well. Now then.”

Tissaia looked up, blinking away what remnants of stupor lingered on her face and in her eyes as they had stared down at the cup in her hands, and arranged her face with a careful and precise combination of gratitude and neutrality.  “This is considerate of you, Nandor.” A gesture imparting kindness and the desire to express an emotion motivated by something which hadn't centred on himself. Rather impressive. She would not, however, say this. It was her opinion, her professional one, that there was absolutely no need to dispense praise - especially not when attached to an intention crossing over the boundaries of their relationship as patient and health professional. 

“Thank you. I will.” She would have to even though she was very particular about the way she took her coffee and doubted Nandor either knew or had gone to the trouble of finding out.  She did not say this either. Instead, she sat down and delicately settled the cup on her desk. “I trust you are well since the last time I saw you.” Tissaia fiddled with the cuffs of her sleeves, sat up straighter and smoothed over non-existent creases on her lap. “Now. Tell me. Why did you do this?"

[lodgeofeilhart]

Her smile is life, she truly has the most beautiful face!

[therelentless]

"It's very rude to stare."

{ @rectoress ;;

"And it's rude to go ask things and mingle in other people's business but you even get paid for it, so I think we're even."

[camouflagedpath]

Does anyone else ever think about the abuse Yennefer went through as a child, like really think about it, how she was rejected not just by her family but by her community too, for no better reason than that she looked different, and then realize just how monumental Tissaia coming to rescue her is in that context. Like. For the first time in Yennefer’s life she had someone who recognized her as something more than deformed and disposable (even if Tissaia initially came at it from a cold place) and who (before Geralt and Ciri even came into the picture) fulfilled Yennefer's dream of becoming important to someone someday? Like imagine going from such a sheer amount of abuse and neglect and loneliness to having the wise ancient Archmage and rectoress screaming your name on a war-torn field searching for you desperately just because she’s so desperate to find you. Because she loves you. Because you’re important to her. Makes me tear up for gladness on Yennefer’s behalf, I can’t 😭💜

[atheliacs]

MyAnna Buring's uncanny ability to convey an array of emotions by the twitch of a facial muscle is unparalleled.

Her as Long Susan, looking into the eyes of Nathaniel as he holds her son, the way her eyes fill with tears, her cheeks tremble and her chin wobbles.

UNPARALLELED

Her ability as Tissaia de Vries to show pride, despair, frustration and overall love when Yennefer doesn't murder Cahir.

The flinch when Yennefer says you may go rectoress

THE PLEASE, AND THE OH AS HER VOICE FRAYS

Don't mind me just melting over her talent 🫠

ignore the bad quality images these were some examples I could find

[nnightskiess]

everytime you leave, part nine

₊° - 𝐲𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘰𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴.

everytime you leave, masterlist

· · ✍︎ · ·

𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗽𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘀. 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 <3

𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝

Yennefer's jaw tightened when Tissaia addressed the class the next day. She hadn't been able to put all the pieces together of the rambled words that had left your mouth through your sobs, but she'd caught enough to know that Tissaia de Vries had at least played a part behind them. She felt jittery, fueled by both her frustration and disappointment in herself for thinking Tissaia had warmed up to you both. Tissaia would praise the two of you in the confinements of her office, but then treat you like nonentities outside of it. It irked Yennefer to no end. And that, atop of how distraught she'd seen you, had switched something in her. Though, perhaps more than one thing had changed the night she'd awkwardly comforted you. Not only was she now as wary as ever of her rectoress, but she felt a sudden need to be mad at the woman in thousandfold in your name.

It was as if Tissaia had heard the young mage terrorise her in her head when she directed her next words to Yennefer.

"Tell me, Yennefer, what plant should never be used when the moon is in its last quarter phase?"

Yennefer nibbled her lip, not wanting to answer Tissaia, but not wanting to look like she didn't know the answer either. She had already looked enough like an incompetent fool.

"Datura."

"And when can you use it?"

"During a new moon. It can only be plucked and handled during that time. Once you've installed it into a potion, it can be drunk whenever."

"And what-"

"It alters the mind of the drinker, rendering them insane until the next moon cycle. Its link to the moon is why it has been closely examined in lycanthropy studies, but witchers have not endorsed the usage to kill such beasts, nor studied its effectiveness."

Tissaia gave her a thorough look, sizing her up, and then went on with her lesson. Yennefer couldn't help it when the corner of her mouth quirked up into a lopsided grin— her rectoress hadn't been able to catch her slacking off and embarrass her.

Her temporary gloating was crushed soon enough when she heard her classmates' giggles beside her. She was half expecting them to make fun of the eagerness with which she had answered, so it was a surprise to hear your name drop in their hushed conversation.

"You think she'll come back at all?"

"I don't, she's missed too much, and she was already a horrible mage to begin with."

Before Yennefer could interfere this time, Tissaia had already beaten her to it.

"What was that?" Tissaia's mouth was set in a hard line, eyes surveying the girls whose faces flushed.

Daena's cheeks reddened to the colour of a beetroot.

Tissaia pressed, "Enlighten us?"

Daena looked to her friends for confidence, desperately hoping that the lie she was about to tell would sound believable, "We were just worried about when Y/N will return to class."

Tissaia lifted her chin and looked down at the girls, having neared their desks, "Since you're so curious about her recovery, you will make notes for her during tomorrow's botany class. If she fails the task, then that will be on you for not paying attention."

"Like Y/N will learn shit from Daena."

Immediately, Tissaia's attention, and that of the whole class, was back on Yennefer. They watched with bated breath as student and rectoress were locked in a scrutinizing stare.

"And you think she would learn more from you?" Tissaia mused.

"Better than a mage who can't even differentiate elder runes from the new phase runes." Yennefer bit back, fixing both Daena and Tissaia with a teary glare. Daena's face flushed even worse— even she couldn't deny that perhaps she wasn't that much better in class than the girls she'd bullied. The first few weeks she had been able to pass each class with flying colours, but as they were starting to advance into more difficult stages of magic, she had begun to struggle.

"Enough," Tissaia seethed, eyes boring into violet ones. Yennefer huffed and slouched back in her seat, ignoring the stares from her classmates still directed at her. She'd said what she had wanted to say and put Daena in her place. And the whole class, including Tissaia, had heard her.

Yennefer trudged through the hallways, feet dragging across the floor in the uneven cadence of her steps. She passed the doors leading to the dormitories and up the spiral staircase to Tissaia's wing. The door to her office was already open, and Tissaia sat perched against her desk, waiting for her.

"That was quite a statement you made in class," Tissaia started, and Yennefer scrunched her face in confusion when the woman gave her a half-smile, "Well done."

"Well done?" Yennefer's voice was small.

"I heard all that they said. You did, too, I suppose?" Yennefer nodded, "Being part of the Brotherhood means sticking up for your fellow mages... it means showing bravery and speaking up when one is being unjust. You showed you had what it takes."

Yennefer knew she should've accepted the compliment, but her expression hardened, "If you heard them, why didn't you correct them? Aren't you meant to look out for us as our rectoress?"

"Their punishment is not of your concern, Yennefer. But since they're so inclined to help Aretuza rid of inept mages, they're going help me with a chore tonight."

Yennefer sat up on the edge of her seat, ready to speak up when Tissaia lifted her hand and gave her a look of finality— the conversation was over. At least, the topic had changed, for she narrowed her eyes during her next words,

"The boy you met... upon your arrival at Aretuza," She drawled out, taking her time, making Yennefer the slighest bit uneasy of where she was going with this, "The one you've gone to see now and then..."

"Istredd?" She wondered what the Ban Ard student had to do with this, or how Tissaia even knew about him at all. Though, perhaps she shouldn't question the reaches of Tissaia's eyes and ears any longer. Nothing went past that damned woman.

"What do the two of you talk about?"

Confused, and a little defensive, Yennefer said, "I thought we were encouraged to have good relations with the Ban Ard students?"

"What do the two of you talk about?" Tissaia repeated herself.

"Aretuza. History... the Continent. Chaos. The Elves."

"The Elves?" Tissaia reiterated, "Does he ask you things?"

"What things?"

"About your classes, your teachers, your fellow novices. Perhaps about new girls that came in? Or maybe things about yourself?"

Yennefer made a face, unsure why any of that was of relevance.

"Does he?"

"No, no, he doesn't, I don't-"

"I am going to give you a task. Do it well, keep it between us, and you'll gain more than my trust."

Yennefer perked up, captivated with her promise, awfully aware that a woman like Tissaia wouldn't just make a task like this if it wasn't serious. And if it was serious... it meant she already had a part of Tissaia's trust, for why else would she assign her with the task?

"Yes...okay."

"I want you to keep your ears open whenever he asks you something too personal, something out of the ordinary. When he sticks his nose where he shouldn't. Can you do that for me?"

"You think he's ungenuine?"

"I think that he's been asked to do the same."

Yennefer frowned, "What? Spy on me?"

Tissaia only nodded.

"Why?"

"Because that is what happens. Here. At Court. All around the Continent. You are no longer a nobody in a pigpen, you are a mage and part of a Brotherhood. Do not act so surprised."

Surprised was an understatement. Yennefer was stunned at the significance and secrecy of what her rectoress had just told her. But what she had asked her, was plaguing her that much more. In theory, it was a simple question, able to be answered by a quick yes or no. And what was asked of her was, in fact, simple too— she only had to keep her ears perked and run to Tissaia if there was anything to inform her. Though, that meant that she, from now on, had a double agenda whenever she was going to see Istredd, the young man who had been accepting of her from the very start. Had all that just been pretend?

Tissaia woul've been able to read the worries on Yennefer's face, had she not heard the girl's voice echo in her own mind. She had to give her an incentive.

"Show me you're capable and I'll take your help into consideration when you ascend."

Immediately, all doubt disappeared from Yennefer's mind, "When?" It had only been a matter of if in her mind, up until now.

"When," She confirmed, "Is that a yes?"

Yennefer nodded, words disappearing on her. Rectoress De Vries was offering her the out she had dreamed of years before she even knew Chaos existed within her. She sighed, the realisation that, finally, she would get the chance to be beautiful and start over was nigh.

Tissaia's mouth curved into a gentle smile, "Now take this scroll to Y/N. I want her to prepare for her return next week."

Yennefer stood in front of your door, uneasily toying with the scroll in her hands. The last time she'd stood there, she'd heard you cry and her morality had been put to the test. Her ears perked in case she heard any more sniffles so that she had a reason to run away, but something was keeping her standing and having her knock on the wood. Out of the handful of times she'd been here in front of your door, feeling curious, frustrated or calm, she'd never felt what she was feeling right now— nervous.

It stayed silent, so she knocked again, adding,

"Y/N? I have something for you. It's from Tissaia. For your return to classes next week."

Yennefer had not needed to announce her presence, for you had felt her energy approach the second she'd entered the hallway. You'd noticed the change whenever she walked by or into class after the first few days of being at Aretuza. The air would change, your Chaos always had a mind of its own, and a soft buzz would ring through your ears.

With careful steps, you approached the door, opened it, and peered outside to see Yennefer's crooked and unsure smile greet you. You remembered when you'd last seen her, how she'd awkwardly shuffled out of your room once your tears had dried. She hadn't said a single word. It seemed she thought of the same moment, her eyes examining you from head to toe to make sure you were in a better predicament this time.

You opened your palm, expecting her to deliver whatever she had for you and be on her merry way again, but she shifted her weight to her other leg, unsurely, and asked,

"Can I come in?"

"Why?" Left your lips before you could think about it, and Yennefer sighed in exasperation, patience gone with the wind.

"Because it's important. Will you?"

You further opened the door and Yennefer walked past, waiting until you had closed the door to weed out any unwanted listeners to turn around and face you. She discarded Tissaia's scroll on your desk and looked at you, her expression a little indifferent when she shrugged,

"You missed a lot," Yennefer stated, matter of factly.

"I'm aware of that."

"Too much, in fact." She went on, making you uncertain why she was here, if not to make you more insecure and worried.

She started to awkwardly fumble with the sleeve of her blue garments, put her hand in there and wiggled something out. She held her shaking hand outstretched— three small pieces of parchment were crumpled up in her hand.

Albeit confused, you took them, releasing them as notes and tips scribbled down in Yen's handwriting.

"Botany class about the use of Datura in potions."

"But you hate botany?" You looked at the notes, sparing her a quick glance, unsure why she would willingly write this down.

Yennefer chuckled wryly. You were right. She did. Chewing plants and mixing stems with leaves was a yawn fest at best, but when Daena failed to show up during the class where she was supposed to take notes for you, a slight worry had started to set in. Without Daena's notes, you would fall behind even more, which would inevitably lead to problems with Tissaia, which was never a good thing and could maybe even lead to... another disappearance? The thought had made her make up her mind in an instant.

A breathy laugh escaped you at her sudden, but welcome, act of kindness, "Why help, though?" You gave her a look, "Not that I don't appreciate it, I do, I really do, but I vividly remember you telling me that the less competition you had, the better."

It was true. Yennefer had said that. To your face, during one of your one-on-one study sessions all those weeks ago when you'd asked her for help. In fact, she'd still say it... but to anyone else but you. There was a kindness... a tenderness to you that none of the others had shown her. Sure, Anika had shown her empathy, but was that because she was on the bottom of the chain too and Yennefer was her last resort of a friend, or because she genuinely appreciated having her around? Because she'd seen you be put to the test on your first week. If she remembered correctly, and she always did, you had stuck up for her in front of two of the most popular girls in the school without even properly knowing her. It still bugged her. You had been different from the start. To think that you thought she wasn't on your side, worried her. Had she really been that harsh towards you?

Her voice was meek and the shy Yennefer peeked through, "You think I see you as competition?"

You looked at her, a mock scowl on your face, but saw Yennefer hadn't said it with her usual snarky bite, or the sarcastic quips she used as soon as she went into defence.

"Wait, you're not helping me so that I'm in your favour, right? Because whatever you're up to— no, I'm not into it." You tried to push the pieces of parchment back into her grasp, but she pushed your hands back.

"I was actually counting on you helping me tear this entire place apart." The indifference with which she spoke, had you worrying a bit.

"You still want to leave Aretuza?"

Maybe she once had but, no, not any more.

Yennefer shook her head, "No. I've come to realise it's of no use to leave before I've learned everything I can. If I want to be powerful, I need to stay." She watched you carefully, examining the tiniest changes on your face, "You?"

"I can't leave, I told you."

"And why's that?"

"Same reason." You shrugged, turning to walk to your desk—  the scroll Yennefer had brought you suddenly seemed extremely interesting.

"The truth now, please." Yennefer rolled her eyes, approaching you and reading along with you over your shoulder. Tissaia had given you a scroll about elemental magic again? How air could help put out-

You turned around to block her view the second you felt her behind you, eyebrows rising in surprise at her proximity, "It is the truth." You fought with the strap to tie the scroll close, "And... well, I've got friends here now."

Yennefer's face contorted in disgust, "Who? You call those girls your friends?"

"No, but the ones that bring me notes from class... I do consider friends."

The raven-haired girl turned away from you, not wanting you to see how badly you'd taken her off-guard with that, but her silence and distance were proof of their own.

A gentle hand on her deformed shoulder made her turn. You stood there, mouth twitching into a gentle smile, the large book Tissaia had given the two of you weeks ago to read together tucked against your chest.

"I've done some reading," You strode to your bed against the wall in the corner, then gestured for Yennefer to follow you when she kept staring at you goggle-eyed, "I can share my notes with you, too."

"Why?" Yennefer wondered.

"Because that's what friends do."

Yennefer grumbled as she pushed against the door with her shoulder. It was stuck in the frame for the umpteenth time, and she'd had enough. With her palm outstretched and a muttered incantation, a gush of telekinetic wind as powerful as a Witcher's Aard blew the door off its hinges. It clattered against the wall on the other side, where it fell into several pieces.

"Gods- Yennefer?!" You gaped at your friend who stepped in and made her dramatic entrance, a twinkle of mischief and pride in her eye from the stunt she'd just pulled.

"Are you going to tell Tissaia what happened to my door or will you let me suffer that one on my own?"

Yennefer waved you off as she looked at the mess she'd left, "You should thank me. Now they have to fix it."

"I quite liked it getting stuck... it kept out unwanted visitors," You bit back, but Yennefer noticed the ghost of a smirk dancing on your lips as you flipped through your book.

"Hmpf," She kicked a broken wooden slat out of her way and approached you. You were sitting on your bed again, against the wall, the place you'd made your own and the place she usually found you at, despite your perfect four-legged chair.

You put the book you were reading down on your lap, "You do know how cold it gets here during the night, don't you? These halls aren't part of the heating enchantment."

"Maybe you can room with Florence or Sabrina, now that Jutta and Daena still haven't returned after realising how shit they really were." She gave you an amusing glance, but the mention of them warped your attention.

"Don't you think it's weird, though? That no one ever said a word about it?"

"That's because they're afraid they'll be next. This place is fuelled by fear. I'm just grateful for the fact we no longer have to deal with them at all. What's that, there?"

"A book," You showed her the cover, ignoring how she rolled her eyes at her implied stupidity, "About the Isle of Thanedd and Gors Velen."

"Why would you ever read that voluntarily?" She plopped down beside you.

"Well, the weather's getting softer, so I figured Belleteyn must be close. I wanted to know if it's celebrated here. I don't think we ever celebrated it properly back home, but there was always a bonfire on the outskirts of our village and we feasted on our latest harvests. And we decorated our house with the first flowers of the year, too."

Yennefer watched you gush, your mind away in a fond memory.

"Belleteyn?" Her voice was barely above a hushed whisper, something like hurt softening her words. Then she exhaled loudly, frustrated and fed up, "It's a shit holiday." She grumbled, ignoring how your enthusiasm had faltered.

"You don't like it?"

Yennefer made a sound of indifference and folded her arms together, staring out your window at the clouds travelling through the clear sky.

"Have you ever celebrated?"

"No."

You rolled your eyes. This was typical Yennefer— judgment at the ready for almost anything. If she had her mind made up about something, there was no coaxing her to see things differently.

"Then how-"

Yennefer turned to face you, swiftly, "I don't want to fucking talk about Belleteyn, okay?!"

Her sudden change stunned you, but only momentarily, for you were no stranger to such bursts from Yennefer now and then.

"Hells, fine then." You stood up to close your window, stopping the breeze of the sea below from getting in, "If you only come here to destroy my door and yell at me, then I'd rather you just leave."

Yennefer looked up at you and nibbled her lip, the gesture making her already tight jaw even more tense. She realised she'd been too harsh... again, and though you usually forgave her outbursts and had started to find a way to work around them, she was afraid if she pushed too hard, there would come a day when you wouldn't be so tolerant anymore.

"I just don't like Belleteyn." She clarified, a little less agitated now. You knew better than to ask why, so you watched and waited to see if she'd continue on her own. Ever since becoming cautious friends with Yennefer, you had started to read her tells and quirks. You knew when she was testing you, and you knew how you could test her in return. It was a soft push and pull, like a dance to see who would be the first one to come out blank on the next move. Despite your lack of experience, you had always liked to play and dance. That was exactly how you could now see she was going to start retaliating soon.

Yennefer picked up a random book from the pile on your bed and started going through the pages. You sat down next to her again, keeping silent, and continued with your study work, glancing her way every so often to see how she had buried her face in the book, away from your view.

"I don't like Belleteyn," She mumbled into the pages, and you sensed the continuation of her sentence wasn't far away, "Because it was the day I was born." She revealed, and continued, leaving you no room to reply to her pathetic confession with questions or comfort, "And aside from the fact that my life's been shit ever since then, we also never celebrated."

"Your family didn't do something for you on your nameday?"

"My step-father's a pig farmer, he didn't want to spare a single coin on all that nameday fanfare."

"That's not a good enough reason," You frowned, slowly pulling the book down so you could see her, "My parents grow... grew," You swallowed, pushing the thoughts away for the sake of comforting your friend ", vegetables on our little patch of land to sell, but my father always made me a little figurine from wood on my nameday and my mother baked the most delicious-"

"I get it. You were loved. I wasn't."

"That's not what I-" You gaped at her, realising your mistake, "I'm sure your mother-"

"If she loved me, she wouldn't have let my step-father treat me the way he did. Nor look the other way whenever he treated me like the fucking cattle he sold." Yennefer scowled at you now, pleased it had shut you up. You had tried to comfort her, but you didn't know her past. She bit on her lip to keep it from quivering, not wanting to show her weakness.

"I'm sorry." Was all you could offer her.

Yennefer jumped when you squeezed her arm.

"I don't need your fucking pity. I just need you to never bring up Belleteyn again."

You bit the inside of your mouth, trying to school your features and mask the worry and the hurt you were feeling. Yennefer scooted away from you and your comfort. Again.

"Did I hear Belleteyn?" A voice drawled before a figure appeared in your doorway, cutting the moment short, though the tension still lingered. It was Celestia. The light-haired mage dawdled, warily eyed the broken door on the floor before turning back to the pair of you, "It is such a lovely holiday...if you celebrate the way it should be celebrated."

She saw the puzzlement on your faces, "You know...it's the beginning of summer... a harvest holiday, yes, surely," she rolled her eyes, "When really, it's the holiday to find new romances. To celebrate love, lust and fertility. Oh, did you not know? Have I ruined it now?"

Celestia grinned mockingly, "Of course, that's not how you celebrate where you boors are from, but it's how we do it in the cities."

Yennefer balled her fists, and you sat up straighter, eyes narrowed at her judgment. Sure, you hadn't lived in a city like Novigrad or Toussaint, but you'd loved your life in the countryside. It was simple, often tough and challenging, but you'd had freedom. You'd had nature all around you. And, most importantly, you'd had the comfort of your family. You didn't need fancy buildings, cobblestoned roads, market stalls and bards from all over to be satisfied.

"A couple of other mages and I are sneaking out into the city. I'd ask you two to tag along, but I'm not sure you have the guts to do so behind Tissaia's back."

"I do."

You pulled Yennefer back by her sleeve, "Don't." You hissed.

"On second thought...hm, I don't think I should." Celestia tutted, a smirk pulling at the corners of her lips, anticipating whatever she was going to say next, "I fear you'd get lost in such a city, you know, without any sense of direction. There'll be no heaps of manure to place where you are," She waved her rude comment off, "I jest. Truthfully, the reason I shouldn't is because you're way too young and innocent for such a festival filled with love and lust. Well, you are." Celestia nudged her chin your way, and as her eyes turned to Yennefer and clearly observed her deformities, it was unmistakable what she was insinuating— Belleteyn wasn't a place for girls with hunchbacks, crooked jaws and an uneven step, because there wouldn't even be a single person interested to lock lips with such a monstrosity.

"And you... well, I'm sure we'll find a willing donkey."

In an instant, Yennefer reeled forward with a growl. You sprung to pull her back immediately. Yennefer yelled and protested to be let go, but you tightened the grip of your arms around her middle, watching as Celestia disappeared into the hallway again after a final smirk and a wave. Yennefer struggled against your hold, cussing out both you and Celestia in the same breath.

You squeezed your eyes shut and pressed yourself against Yennefer's back, "She's not worth it, Yen."

Yen...

A name you had never called her before. No one ever had. Not even Istredd, who had stuck to calling her Yenna. She'd let him, because she didn't like the abbreviation of her name anyway and it was better than all the other names she was used to. But Yen... Yen was sacred to her. She didn't know why, but maybe it truly was because no one had ever called her that. It had only ever been crooked girl, piglet, lunatic, and all the other names she rather forgot about. It had never been just Yen.

Her chest heaved, still, but you felt her muscles relax. When you deemed it safe, you let Yennefer go. She pushed herself off you with a heavy force, almost sending you stumbling into the wall.

You held your hands up, sensing you hadn't yet pulled her out of it.

Yennefer stared at you in bewilderment and fury, her eyes swimming with emotion. She was ready to whirl out a plethora of horrible words and magic spells. And she was going to, hadn't she looked at the sincerity in your eyes. You seemed upset, but not so much at her, but at the fact she was upset, at the fact that someone could be so vile and hurt someone else. Yennefer's head reeled, thousands of thoughts and emotions all pierced through her at once. It was too much, too much for one person, and certainly too much to handle now. She stopped herself from making the upset frown on your face grow and stormed out of your room instead.

Hours later, you hoped that Yennefer had calmed down enough to let you check on her, but she didn't answer her door. Either she wasn't ready to let anyone in, or she was where every other mage currently was. It was a place you hadn't been in a while, with your small inconvenienced break from classes— the central hall during supper.

You weren't too keen on having a plethora of eyes locked on you, so instead, you peaked through the curtains of one of the alcoves, eyes scanning the many heads seated around the tables. You weren't ready to face the others yet, but you'd seen the pain in Yennefer's eyes when she had once again been hurt by one of your peers, and you'd felt uneasy ever since. Surely it was your own anger at the situation that made you jittery and itchy. It was starting to make you restless, and you hadn't even been the one at the brunt of Celestia's comment. So, if you wanted to quell your worries, you needed to find Yennefer. But there was no raven-haired mage sitting in the central hall. There were others with black hair, but none of them gave the familiar blue and green shimmer of Yennefer's mane whenever the light reflected just right.

She wasn't there, though you'd known that before even walking in. There was always a certain hum in the air when Yennefer was around. You'd noticed so during your many hours spent trying to tackle Tissaia's tasks in her office. It wasn't an annoying hum. More like a soft one in the background, ever-present but calming, like the waves lulling you to sleep every night.

You walked through the halls of Aretuza, in search of said hum, stopping on every corner to recalibrate your sense of direction. You knew Yennefer often disappeared, but where to, you had no inkling. Despite the gap between you two growing smaller and smaller each week, you figured you would grant her that space and privacy. Frankly, you didn't even want to know where she was when she disappeared. You wanted her to have her own place to unwind, a place where no one could disturb her and where she could be herself. That, and, you weren't so sure how she would take it if you were to find her sacred place.

Then you sensed it—  the hum. It was accompanied by a faraway buzzing you could feel in your ears and throat, and your feet listened to the way they got pulled left, right, up the stairs, outside and-

You stopped within an instant.

The wind made your hair fly in your face and your garments danced with every gust. It was a kind of wind that could be considered way too feisty for mid-April. It was cold too, despite the sun being out mere moments before. Its chill nipped and cut at your face with each blow, and it made the wooden bridge connecting the settlement of Aretuza to the Tower of the Gull in front of you wobble. The water, though far and far below you, crashed loudly against the shore. It smelt fresh, and yet it also smelt of a brooding storm—  dark, ominous and earthy.

Then there it was again—  the pull. You didn't want to let it guide you. And you shouldn't want to, not when it would lead you out of the safety of Aretuza. Yet, you knew you ought to. You needed to know. To indulge in the feeling even further. To dip your toes and then maybe your entire foot. To wrap yourself in its warmth.

Abruptly, an uncontrollable urge washed over you, engulfing you and making you take your steps forward. The rope of the bridge was tattered and rough as you held on when the wind made the bridge bounce through its breaths. None of that seemed to truly matter now, not when you could feel yourself closing in on something.

During a momentary relapse, a sense of realisation, you managed to look backwards. Panic struck you as you realised you had almost crossed the entire bridge already. No one was out there, not even one voice was screaming your name to get back in an instant. You knew you weren't supposed to wander through Aretuza on your own, even if it was your new home. Then again, they hadn't exactly locked doors or passageways to constrict you from going somewhere. And no one would miss you. You were in your room. Resting.

Your hands trembled as you reached out to the door of the tower. It was engraved with swirls that were meant to duplicate the whirls of wind and the waves below. The doorknob was that of a gull with its wings outstretched, its head and beak a means to open the door. Only, the door was already open. Slightly ajar, but open nonetheless.

For a second, you waited, ready for the inevitable spell that was protecting this place to force you back, but nothing happened. Your eyes wandered up to the tip of the colossal tower. It was even higher than Aretuza itself. You hadn't seen it up close yet, aside from the glances you'd taken through the window during some of your classes. The sound of the waves and the wind was deafening now that you were out on the open sea. It had numbed your ears to the sound of the familiar hum and buzz. So, you rushed inside, the wooden door behind you clattering shut in its hinges as the wind sucked it back out. The loud bang clattered against the walls of the space before you.

It was dark inside, aside from the occasional lit lantern. It was wet and draughty. Muddy, even. The smell reminded you of the riverbeds back home after a heavy rainstorm.

While your eyes adjusted to the limited light, you saw no fancy tiled floors or decorated walls. These halls were truly cut into the mountain. Maybe by magic, but perhaps by hand and shovel, going by the unevenness of it all. As you stood there, in near darkness, you realised your sense of direction had disappeared. The hum had evaporated into thin air the second the door had been slammed shut. You could only stand there now, letting unease start to creep in at the realisation of what you'd done and where you were. You were a mage, a student. You had no right to be in the Tower of the Gull, unsupervised and unannounced. Tissaia would be furious, if not see this as an act of defiance again.

Quick footsteps echoed across the halls, nearing... and fast. Was it coming from your right? Your left? Or from the dark hall in front of you? There was no hiding here. Still, you deemed it better to pick one, hoping the odds were in your favour. Then, the hum reappeared, and, without thinking, you hurried through the left lane. You didn't move about soundless, your feet stepping into puddles and on the pebbled floor beneath them.

The footsteps started to blend together with those of your own, your panicked breathing adding to the mix. Your shadows cast dancing figures on the muddy walls as you hurried through the cave-like hallway, until they started to dance with someone else's.

Shocked at the person suddenly dooming up in front of you, you reared back.

He let out a sound of surprise. When his initial fright had been subdued, he opened his mouth,

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" His tone was direct, demanding, yet curious all the same. However, he betrayed himself when you sensed his heartbeat thump in a way that could only mean he was afraid, too.

You couldn't see his features clearly in the dim lighting, but the fire from the lantern sparkled in his light eyes, his silhouette slender and poised.

"Did she send you?" He pressed when you kept silent, having been unsure of what to answer with. He grabbed the lantern from the wall and held it in front of your face, shining light on you to force you out of the dark. You squeezed your eyes shut, the light blinding you and making the person holding the lantern a vague and blurry figure.

"You're a mage." He noted, noticing your familiar wedgewood blue garments. Intrigue found his voice, before he announced resolutely, "You should go."

He lowered the lantern, and you could finally see the man. His face was as clean-shaven as a young boy before puberty, his eyes wise and kind, jovial even, but his clothes betrayed he was a Ban Ard student.

From behind him, the sound of rumbling and clattering could be heard. The young man looked over his shoulder, then back at you. Without another word, he rushed past you, head held down and steps as fast as how he had approached you. Clearly, he was eager to leave.

As the clattering commenced, you had almost made up your mind to follow his example and leave until you heard a growl. It was human. And it was filled with frustration and with pain. You recognised it— because it had come from Yennefer.

Your feet hurriedly led you towards the sound of destruction, and as the passageway neared its end, you stepped into a clearing. Rain clattered down through the opening in the middle of the rocky ceiling. Fires were lit here and there, dusty scrolls were scattered on a table dug out from the mountain.

Finally, after all this searching, there she was— Yennefer, with clenched fists, heaving breath and a wild look in her eyes. She looked enraged, but you knew it was only the reflection of her pain. A strangled sound came out of her throat before she let herself slide onto the ground.

You stood there, wondering if it was morally improper to turn your back on the young woman now. She had been there for you during your lowest moment not that long ago, and though, sure, she'd only awkwardly sat there with you, she had been there, doing her best.

Slowly, you approached, hoping she would hear you so that you didn't have to make the announcement yourself, but it seemed she was so caught up in her emotions that you had to put a hand on her shoulder to pull her out of it.

She flinched, turned around wide-eyed and crawled herself away from you across the floor. It was clear you'd been the last person she had expected there by the look in her eyes.

"Fuck off!" She spat, immediately shielding her face from your view as she fixed herself, covering it with a curtain of her raven locks of hair.

"I was looking for you," You stated, calmly, in a similar way to how one never handled a hurt animal with an iron grip either.

"Oh," She huffed, taunting you, "Come to tell me they found a willing donkey?" She shot back, teary eyes full of fire as she fixed you with a steely glare.

"Yennefer," You approached, but she stood up.

You took a small step closer, and you were grateful that she remained in her place this time, "I came to look for you to see if you were all right."

"Why do you care?"

"I'm your friend, of course I care."

"Friend?" She puffed, "Am I so pathetic that you think I need a friend?"

Your face fell, "Everyone does. You're human, we all want to have someone in our corner...and you can't just go on and pretend nothing ever hurts you."

She snorted at your empathic approach. You could hear she had been crying, going by her stuffy nose, and you could see the faint shimmer of tears still on her face.

She withheld herself from commenting on your sincere words and kept herself busy by reorganising the stack of scrolls, "How did you know I was here?" She quirked a brow, sneaking a glance your way. Only she and Istredd knew to meet each other there. Well, and Tissaia, however she had found out. That woman seemed to know everything.

"I don't know. I had a... feeling?" Sounding unsure yourself, you stepped to stand beside her, watching Yennefer's nimble fingers shake as they tied a string around one of the scrolls.

"You found me. Go now."

"Yen..."

"My name is Yennefer." She wiped the snot and spit off her face with her sleeve.

You gently pulled the scroll out of her hands, which were ice cold from having been in this damp cave for too long.

"Go!" She shouted upon the contact, rearing back like she'd burned herself from your touch, "And it would do you good to leave me alone unless you want to forever be associated with me." She spat through gritted teeth, pushing you away with her words. Still, she let you take another step closer. Step after step, you had managed to stand in her aura. And not even just now, you realised, but throughout the past few weeks, too.

Yennefer snarled when she came to the same realisation, but then her expression softened. She had seen your face change at her words, and she hated how she was hurting you. Having to let you down was adding to her pain, but she knew no other way, "I don't want to be your friend, and especially not because you pity me. Leave."

"That's not how I see you, why would I pity you?"

You'd made your mind up— you were not letting her send you away.

Yennefer growled at your refusal to leave her be and slammed her hands onto the table, "You're fucking insufferable!"

"And you're a delight?! You're acting like a child right now, you know that?" You crossed your arms and glared at her, having enough of her aiming that your genuine attempt to check up on her was but a mere trick. Then, your features softened when realisation dawned on you... people probably had tricked her. Often. Perhaps even all the time— masking their tricks as good deeds and promised friendships only to then laugh in her face at her pathetic faith that they were genuine about her.

"Yennefer," You began, hoping you could coax her to look at you, but she wasn't having it, "What she said was wrong. What they all say is wrong. How they have treated you your entire life is wrong. How they can't seem to give you a chance is immoral. But you are also wrong. Right now. You are." You gave a nod of finality, wholeheartedly keeping to your words.

Yennefer's gaze finally darted towards you. She was frustrated with you, yes, but she couldn't deny and say she wasn't a little intrigued as well. She kept quiet to hear you out.

"Because I'm not here to make fun of you later. I came here as a friend. Because... you are my friend, and quite honestly... my only one." Her face remained stoic at your genuine revelation, so you added, "And I don't like how they treat you any more than you do, but if you push me away too, you'll be your own worst enemy... for cutting off kindness when it's there for you to take."

She didn't react, though you could sense the cogs in her head turning.

"So don't lash out at me because of how they made you feel. I'm here because I'm on your side. You treating me this way... pushing me out when I'm trying to be your friend...makes me feel like you think of me and them as one and the same. That hurts."

Yennefer adjusted her stance, having had her entire posture tense up. It was starting to hurt her. She licked her lips, relaxed her jaw and stared into your eyes, albeit a little dumbfounded at your words. She bit the inside of her mouth as she stared at you still, long and hard, hoping she would catch your features betraying your statement. Seconds passed... but she couldn't find the fault in your expression. You were right— you were on her side, and perhaps you'd always been. You weren't like the others.

"You're sincere." She declared timidly after having read your eyes. She stumbled back a bit at the sheer force of realisation.

"I am," You nodded, voice curt and serious to show her you meant it, "So let's clean this mess up, go back and... and to hell with them."

Yennefer wiped at her face again, her cheeks burning from the dried tears and the rubbing, "They'll come for you. They already do. Behind your back."

"So?"

"So?" Yennefer chuckled bitterly, "You want more of that? Because that's what you'll get when you turn your back on them instead of on me."

"So?"

"Is that all the vocabulary you have? Are you short of a fucking marble?"

"Yennefer." You warned, eyes stern and arms folded. "Olive branch." You reminded her.

She assessed you for a moment, violet eyes meeting yours, giving you one last opportunity to opt-out. Maybe, just maybe, it would do her good to accept your act of kindness. If not now, then when?

Afraid this would otherwise be the last time you'd grant her some kindness, she extended her hand, the most careful smile appearing on her face when you accepted it and shook it with a small smile of your own.

She'd never had a friend before. How to maintain such a bond was unfamiliar, an ability she did not have. But she could learn. Perhaps she could really do this. Try this out. After all, she'd always longed to have a friend. A real one, who saw past her exterior and treated her for how she was on the inside. And, perhaps, this could finally be the start of something good in her life.

The class watched with bated breath as a shimmering, translucent circle appeared out of Tissaia's outstretched hands before it took form and whirled into a giant, buzzing hoop. This week had been difficult, as you had been thrown back into classes. The nose stares and prying questions with which your fellow novices had bombarded you been difficult, but what you were seeing right in front of you made it all worth it.

"This is a transportation portal, meant to transport you from one place to the other, as the name suggests. How is this possible, you ask?"

"Energy," Yennefer muttered from right beside you, eyes meeting yours as you glanced her way.

Tissaia turned to her, too, "Very well," She dipped her head in acknowledgement, "Energy. This portal is made from Chaos, which uses the energy of the Continent to find its shape. Energy is everywhere around us, in everything we touch, wherever we stand, therefore it is possible to travel between portals, wherever and whenever. It can be seen as a tiny conjunction in our time and universe, enabling teleportation through this magical rift."

Tissaia walked around her now bubbling and buzzing portal, her figure appearing wobbly and deformed through the thin sheen of the hoop on the other side, "A mage must know exactly where they would like the other end of the portal to exist, or they will face catastrophic consequences. They must have been there before or at least be able to see clearly where the portal will spawn, should they want to avoid losing their limbs or sanity."

"Can anyone travel through a portal?" You'd spoken before you'd realised Tissaia was about to speak again. You had cut her off, but she didn't seem to mind. She appeared from behind her portal, raising her brow at your eagerness, "I meant... is it possible for non-mages to travel through a mage-made portal?"

"Yes." Tissaia nodded, "It is. It is one of the things a mage serving at court is required to do, should the need arise to take members of their court and other important individuals to safety."

"And do they have to know the place where it will spawn? Or is only the mage at risk in such a situation?" You asked again, intriguedly taking in the shine and shimmer of the portal, missing the small smile Tissaia had on her face at your interest.

"They do not. However, they can experience nausea and vertigo. As can the mage, when the portal was created in a haste, or not in the utmost focus. It usually wears off like nausea normally does."

"So how do we make one without losing a limb?" Yennefer asked from beside you, her hand brushing against yours. You looked up at her at the sudden contact, but she didn't look back.

"If only you'd shown this eagerness during botany," Tissaia spoke, bemused, and not even close to the berating tone she usually would have sported. In fact, she seemed completely at ease.

You looked around at what was left of your class. A lot of girls had vanished in the weeks you'd been gone, and though curious, you had been too sceptical to ask where they'd gone. You weren't sure if the answer would comfort you, if Tissaia would even grant you one. Had they, perhaps, made deals upon their arrival at Aretuza too? Had they broken the deal? Was that why they'd gone? Was that what would happen to you if you broke your deal? It seemed that, with their departure, Tissaia's constant sour and cold moods had scattered slightly as well. It was strange, to see her without the expected strict pout and frown on her face, and you worried about what had caused that drastic change.

Tissaia resumed, "So long as you don't forget that botany can save your life as much as a quick getaway portal can. Because a portal is temporary. Chaos leaves energy behind. It can be traced by those powerful enough to do so. Like a hound finding its way home through scents, so can a mage when they know your energy."

"So it's not even foolproof? What kind of shit magic is that?" Yennefer huffed, her hand falling to her side. Once more, your hand brushed against hers, leaving your skin tickling from the surprise contact.

"The portal is foolproof, it can't be tracked... your energy can." Tissaia folded her hands across her stomach and glanced your way for a split second. You knew what she was referring to, "You can cloak your energy the same way you can cloak your thoughts to keep yourself safe."

"How do we do that?" Fringilla asked, and Sabrina perked up as well.

"All in due time," Tissaia let out a breathy chuckle at the intrigue and eagerness displayed on all of your faces. She was grateful and relieved, for she finally had a group of gifted girls she could mend and shape into fine mages. To help guide them and be proud of them years down the line, long after they'd all ascended.

"I can sense your Chaos hasn't replenished enough after the thought-cloacking lesson earlier, so we will get to this next week."

Fringilla and Sabrina sighed and groaned, gathering their stuff before leaving the room with the others, but Yennefer had plans to stick around. She glanced at you over her shoulder and walked close to the portal that was still buzzing, beckoning her forward. She narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out what she was seeing on the other side when Tissaia clapped her hands and the portal got swept away by an invisible gust of wind.

"Lesson one—  never step into a portal of which you don't know who made it, or where it leads to, for they can be used as traps too."

Tissaia stopped organising her belongings when she realised the two of you were still hovering around.

"Go, enjoy your time off," She instructed, not unkindly.

Yennefer gave you a look but you furrowed your brows in response, unsure of what she was trying to get you to understand. When you remained in your place, she sighed and opened her mouth,

"I was wondering..." She began, testing the waters with Tissaia, "I portalled here. As my conduit moment... but I'd never been here before. How was that possible?"

You raised your brows at her confession. It was apparent that you weren't the only mage who held more power than she was revealing, even if it was locked behind an emotionally unsteady wall of Chaos.

Tissaia tilted her head, examining Yennefer who was looking up at her with an expectant gaze.

"That is how you found me, is it not? Because you traced my energy. But you couldn't have known my energy because you didn't know me." Yennefer nibbled her lip before straightening her back as much as she could, "So your theory is false."

"What I would have told you in next week's class, is that portals made in magical places, always leave a trace, for you are tainting and disrupting that place with a magic of your own, a magic that contrasts with the magic already there. You transported to the Tower of the Gull, the most magical place in all of Aretuza, and you did so spluttering and stumbling like a tod learning their first steps."

Yennefer's face fell. The one-up she thought she'd had over Tissaia falling apart like a house of cards.

"But creating a portal as your conduit moment is as remarkable as creating a fire for your conduit, so do not forget your worth."

Tissaia looked at the both of you now, sensing the panic in you taking over.

"But that's not even possible," Confusion transformed Yennefer's face. She knew how scarce harbouring the skill of fire was among mages, let alone undiscovered ones. She watched the small smile on Tissaia's face as your rectoress looked between the two of you.

"Go, take your rest, Yennefer."

Yennefer could have protested but, in reality, she had peace with this. At least for now. And that had all to do with how her rectoress had stopped calling her by her degrading nickname, which had always reminded her of how she'd been treated back home. So, maybe, she shouldn't expect all of her problems to disappear all at once.

You were about to turn around to leave when Tissaia spoke again, "Y/N, you should stay."

"Why?"

Sounded from behind you, where Yennefer had already crossed half the classroom back to hover beside you again, the intrigue now replaced by something harsher. She hadn't forgotten how she'd found you in your heap of sorrow, and how Tissaia's name had been all she'd been able to make out from your mutters.

"Has your name changed to Y/N overnight?" Tissaia inquired, head tilted to the side, the same bite back to her tone.

Tissaia glanced at the two of you. She could sense it, feel it bubbling beneath the surface, despite your depleted Chaos. This wasn't good, the co-dependency. She'd noticed it more often now, the hovering around one another, the glances, the attachment, how your Chaos performed better in the proximity of the other. She faulted herself for never having noticed it sooner, though she blamed the gradual ascent of your bond and how it had slowly happened over time. This was not good, indeed. This wasn't the beginning of two powerful mages if you couldn't be independent. Your Chaos reacted to one another, most often a powerful tool when highly needed, but not when trying to control one's individual Chaos. Though perhaps she had been to blame herself, for putting the two of you together in the first place to kill two birds with one stone and get you both in line.

Now, she realised, it could very well start to stand between reaching both your potential. It was known to her that Yennefer and you had trouble handling the extremes of your emotions, such had been visible during moments of great frustration or sorrow, just like what had happened to your room the first week. When a mage is out of control of their emotions, they can't hone their Chaos the way they should. She needed to thread carefully now. But first, Tissaia knew, there were apologies to be made.

"Yennefer." Tissaia gestured towards the door, then paid her no further mind as she motioned for you to come closer.

Yennefer refused to leave until you whispered it was okay. Then still, she left unsurely, looking one last time into the room before closing the door.

Tissaia leaned against her desk, whispering a muffling smell as she was certain the raven-haired mage was listening on the other side.

"I owe you an apology."

You swallowed, knowing what she was talking about right away, but not keen on the situation being brought up again.

"I pushed you over the edge and crossed your boundaries. I wanted too much too soon from you after sensing your potential. For that, I apologise," She watched you, analysing your expression as she continued, "It was wrong of me to jeopardise your well-being and it was unfair to request your full discretion and cooperation when I was making that very thing harder by my doing. I have been pulling at both your arms at the same time, keeping you locked in place by doing so."

She walked over to you and gently pried your arms from your side to hold them.

"This Chaos inside of you, this power- it is one of your greatest strengths, but do not forget that it also makes it your greatest weakness. That is why I pushed you to heal, to accept and to move on, so that you could be in full control over your Chaos. The quicker that happens, the sooner we can start. I realise now that time will come regardless, and not because of my prodding. Perhaps especially not because of my prodding." Her hands moved down to hold yours and she squeezed them, "You will go places, my dear girl, I can see it as clearly as I can feel it... if you make your Chaos your biggest ally... but that can only happen once you've fully healed."

"How?"

"You have all the time in the world now, you'll figure it out."

"These wounds... I don't think they'll ever not hurt." Your lip trembled, remembering what had happened- what you had done, "I feel different...ever since that time."

"Different how?"

"Like a different version of myself. The old me is still here but... the new one's more prominent."

"Does that feel like a good or a bad thing?" Tissaia stared right into your eyes. You felt a pulling sensation between your brows.

"I don't know."

"Let me put it this way— which version would you choose right now? Which version would you let lead? The version that knew nothing of Chaos, or the version that does?"

Your answer filled you with shame, for the version that knew of Chaos, was the version that had unwillingly made you do unspeakable things, but the truth wanted to finally come to light.

"Both."

Tissaia grinned softly, "That's the life of a mage—  finding the balance in everything. Balance will keep you in control, it won't have you tip the scales to one side." She sighed, feeling sentimental, "Hold onto the old version of yourself, so long as you keep that close, you'll never feel truly lost."

𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗽𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘀. 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 <3

𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝

[lodgeofeilhart]

God that look!

[lodgeofeilhart]

The moment she knew she had fucked up!

[therelentless]

"Why are they coming after you?"

{ @rectoress ;;

"Apparently. I suspect. I am not sure. I don't know. Something about child support? but that kid is like what? five? what needs does he have? new legos and puzzle pieces? you can get those for like 5.99 and one set can last him a month, not like he's gonna finish it in a day."

[femslashbigbang]

[MASTERPOST] February Challenge

Hello all! We had such a great turnout for the 1st of our monthly challenges, please see below the list of entries.

Please don't forget we've also got a new monthly challenge going for march if you'd like to join in!!

Thanks again for all the wonderful people participating. :)))

Fics

I won’t let go of that day (or you) by kopycat_101 

Fandom: ダンジョン飯 | Dungeon Meshi | Delicious in Dungeon Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Marcille Donato/Falin Touden Summary: Marcille remembered vividly the night Falin left. Falin was off traveling with her brother, leaving Marcille behind to wonder and worry. After three years, Marcille decided to do something. She was going to Melini. And she was going to save Falin.

let me walk to the top of the big night sky by inkpoisonblood

Fandom: 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime), 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Manga) Rating: T // Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Pairing: Kochou Kanae/Original Female Character(s) Summary: It's not even close to being Kanae's first mission, which is why she's so embarrassed at how horribly it all goes. Or— well. In the moment, she's terrified out of her mind. Later on she'll be embarrassed. But right now she's fighting Upper Moon Two, and it's almost sunrise but she's overused the Final Form to the point where— She can't see. She can't see. or, kochou kanae survives.

In Her Presence Again by KaterinaDeAnnika

Fandom: The Witcher (TV) Rating: T // Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Pairing: Tissaia de Vries & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg Summary: This is a short piece written for the Femslash Big Bang 2025, for the prompt “Reunion”. Tissaia asks Yennefer for a secret meeting after she’s been on the run with Geralt and Ciri. Yennefer is all she can think about, and the Rectoress believes it’s been long enough without some sort of admission. 100% Yennaia

Princesses and Knights by clipper782

Fandom: Lord of Heroes (Video Game) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Solphi Lebenheit/Alev Valkarios Summary: Alev wonders what path she should take, looking forward to the rest of her life. For the February Challenge Prompt: Reunion

Paper Flowers by owlpockets

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Rating: T // Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Pairing: Crowe Altius/Lunafreya Nox Fleuret Summary: If you leave a blue paper flower just outside the lights, the Wasteland Witch will bring you some food in exchange.

say a little prayer by dryadfiona

Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Karlach/Shadowheart (Baldur's Gate) Summary: Shadowheart doesn't have the time for an old friend, but here Karlach is, anyway. Still, she has the discipline and focus to stay on task, to be the best she can be and not to let Coach DeVir down, to not get distracted by the sight of how good the tiefling looks in hockey gear. (Well. The first two, at least.) -- Or: Karlach finds Shadowheart after several years apart, and Shadowheart finds it difficult to forget who she used to be. Written for the Femslash Big Bang's February monthly challenge!

I'm Perfectly Fine - Reunion by AQA473

Fandom: Borderlands (Video Games) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Lilith/Patricia Tannis Summary: While the vault hunters go to save the world from Handsome Jack, Tannis feels a little antsy while waiting for everyone to return. She might be a little more concerned about one particular person.

Together Again by LilacDreamSage (TheMistyDarkPrincess)

Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: T // Warning: Major Character Death Pairing: Kayama Nemuri | Midnight/Kurose Anan | Thirteen Summary: “You're never going to be alone again. Never again.” Anan promised and Nemuri believed her. Believed that their reunion was going to make the words the truth. Because the void disappeared completely around her as she held onto her wife and let her guide her forward toward the light.

To feel your heart beat again by Tinglecannon

Fandom: ダンジョン飯 | Dungeon Meshi | Delicious in Dungeon Rating: E // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Benichidori/Hien (Dungeon Meshi) Summary: Hien glanced over to see Benichidori staring right up at her, in a display far more open than she would expect of her in mixed company. The two of them have been companions long enough to be able to communicate without words to know what the other is thinking or feeling. As Hien trailed her eyes over Benichidori and noticed the miniscule smudge of her left eye makeup, she felt her chest seize. Images of those eyes lifeless blurred past her mind.

glass against the flame by cjmasim

Fandom: Breaking Bad Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Blanca Gomez/Marie Schrader Summary: It’s over a year after the trial when Marie sees Blanca again.

of rose petals and shadows by Grollow

Fandom: RWBY Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Blake Belladonna/Ruby Rose Summary: They miss each other more than they realize.

reunion by chadsuke

Fandom: Citizen Sleeper (Video Game) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Sleeper/Tala (Citizen Sleeper) Summary: After closing hours, you get a customer.

need you to stay right here, right now by theriveroflight

Fandom: 大逆転裁判 | Dai Gyakuten Saiban | The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles (Video Games)  Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Gina Lestrade/Mikotoba Susato Summary: Susato had hardly realised the magnitude of her longing until she saw Gina again, after six years.

loved (but never known) by justadino

Fandom: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Scarlet & Violet | Pokemon Scarlet & Violet Versions Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Shirona | Cynthia/Raifort (Pokemon) Summary: Raifort isn’t how Cynthia remembers her. // Raifort gets the treasures of ruin. Cynthia thinks she might be losing her mind. written for the femslash big bang's feburary prompt: reunion

think i found a place for us by littencloud9

Fandom: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime 1997-2023) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Lilie | Lillie/Mao | Mallow (Pokemon) Summary: "Lillie," Mallow breathes, the air tickling her neck. "Welcome home." Home, Lillie thinks, isn't just this island, with the sweltering heat and the magnificent sunsets and the sweet chime of the school bell. Home is here, too, in the arms of the girl who's never once doubted her. or, lillie returns to alola

I thought I saw you from a distance by hprse

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender (Cartoon 2005) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Azula/Yue (Avatar) Summary: Yue and Azula reunite in Agna Qel'a after Azula takes a brief trip to the Fire Nation. Written for the February prompt of the Femslash Big Bang Monthly Challenge, reunion.

how many shades of pink by DragonsAndCryptids

Fandom: 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime), 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Manga) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Kanroji Mitsuri/Kochou Shinobu Summary: There has never been a time that Shinobu was not enamored with Mitsuri Kanroji.

foolish dreamer, be awakened by hannieuphoria

Fandom: Alien Stage Rating: T // Warnings: Major Character Death Paring: Mizi/Sua Summary: Mizi, Sua says. Mizi, are you listening? Mizi walks, looking forward. Sua almost whispers, look at me, for how could she ever exists, if Mizi's not looking her way? mizi can't help but to take a hold of what she knows she cannot keep.

every minute here I get more sentimental by sithfox (krazykikivii)

Fandom: The Mandalorian (TV), Star Wars Legends: Jango Fett Open Seasons (Comics), Star Wars Legends: Republic Commando Series - Karen Traviss Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Arla Fett/Bo-Katan KryzeThe Armorer (The Mandalorian TV)/Bo-Katan Kryze Summary: Bo-Katan Kryze is pretty sure she's been cursed by the stars with how badly things have been going for her recently. She'd really like things to go her way for once. Maybe her mysterious visitor can help.

Follow me. by SlantedKnitting

Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: E // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Gwen/Morgana Summary: Five years after Gwen’s sudden disappearance, she turns up at Morgana’s husband’s evening party. Morgana’s feelings for her former maid come rushing back, but she knows they can never truly be together.

Wifey Material by KapandherScratchpad

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Francesca Bridgerton/Michaela Stirling Summary: Fran has had a crush on Michaela since childhood. She’s trying not to be weird about it. Prompt: Reunion [Femslash Big Bang Monthly Challenge]

nothing left for me to sing by GallifreyanFairytale

Fandom: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Iori Utahime/Tsukumo Yuki Summary: Yuki disappeared, and Utahime spent three days crying in the bathroom between classes, sick with heartbreak, before picking the pieces up and forcing herself to keep moving forward. If Yuki didn’t care about Utahime in the end, then Utahime wouldn’t waste her time caring either. Yuki disappeared. So why, a year later, almost to the exact date, is she standing outside of Utahime’s dorm? utahime, yuki, and a bitter reunion

just like before, except now we know by saiditallbefore

Fandom: Star Trek Strange New Worlds Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: La'an Noonien-Singh/Number One | Una Chin-Riley Summary: Later, when La'an untangled the memories of their rescue, Una was the part she remembered best.

We have defeated time itself by LizLimone998

Fandom: What We Do In the Shadows (TV) Rating: M // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Gregor | Jeff Suckler/Nadja of Antipaxos Nadja encounters her human lover Gregor, reincarnated as the local washerwoman.

A Boon of Retribution by stuckinsanguinus

Fandom: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games) Rating: E // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Melinoë/Nemesis (Hades Video Game) Summary: When Melinoë reunites with Nemesis on the battlefield, she gets a choice of boon from the cthonic goddess - but the boon Melinoë picks comes as a surprise to Nemesis, and she has no choice but to play along with the Princess's silly little game.

Reunion by Butimachrldr2

Fandom: Once Upon A Time (TV) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan Summary: Femslash Big Bang Monthly Challenge - February Prompt “Reunion” Regina’s best friend invites her to visit then ropes her into attending their college reunion, where she runs into the one person she would want to meet again, her ex, Emma…

it's after the war, and you're next to me by frankenjoly

Fandom: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Kugisaki Nobara/Zenin Maki Summary: Maki had half a mind to follow Ieiri’s instructions, of course, and yet it took more restraint than she had anticipated in order not to throw herself into Nobara’s arms. Instead, she approached the bed just as quickly as she would have done if jumping like she would love to, knelt at the bedside, and held her girlfriend’s free hand between her own. Then, not so long after, Maki also pressed a few kisses into the back of said hand. for femslash big bang's february monthly challenge: reunion nobara wakes up after shibuya, maki runs to ther, they settle into the aftermath together.

till you fall in your coffin (holding me hostage) by AquamarineMemeBender

Fandom: Alien Stage Rating: G // Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Paring: Mizi/Sua Summary: "The Universe should have stopped spinning when Mizi’s Universe stopped breathing, but it didn’t. It didn’t, and Sua is- she’s dead, that’s what the hole in her brain meant, and she’d lied to Mizi for as long as they’ve known each other, and now the world has kept turning and Mizi is still here, alive, breathing with only one lung and one side to her heart pumping blood to her body." Or: Mizi's god is dead. She has to keep moving anyway.

lay me gently in the cold, dark earth (M) by JediAnnieScrambler

Fandom: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Rating: M // Warnings: CW Rape/Non-con & Underage Pairing: Sabrina Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith Summary: Lilith brings Sabrina back from the dead. She comes back wrong.