#references to/implications of akimitsu and akishinjimitsu

[still-breathing-au-p3r]

Mitsuru feels as though a shroud has been lifted from her. At last, she can breathe again.

She still misses her father. The pain of losing him will likely never fully fade; she will have to carry his absence in her heart for the rest of her life. But for the first time in weeks, it doesn’t seem as though that burden is on the verge of crushing her. For the first time, she feels strong enough to bear the weight of her grief.

Sorrow shared is sorrow halved, and finding solidarity with Yukari had been exactly what Mitsuru needed– all the more so for being so unexpected. Even after all the harm that had come to her and her family as a direct result of the Kirijo Group’s actions, Yukari had still offered Mitsuru her sympathy, an olive branch, a lifeline.

And now Mitsuru can hold her head high again. She hasn’t failed her father, not as long as she continues to fight for his sake– for the sake of his hope for the future, his hope for her future. She’ll fight for Yukari’s father’s last wish, and for everyone she cares about.

There’s a great deal of work to be done in that last area. Her fledgling bond with Yukari has made her realize just how much she has taken her team for granted. They’re comrades in arms, and Mitsuru would risk her life for any of them without hesitation, but until now she has still kept them at a judicious arm’s length. She’s unsure if she can claim to truly be friends with most of S.E.E.S.– two very notable exceptions notwithstanding.

She’s already taking steps to remedy this dereliction: tomorrow she’ll be joining Yukari, along with Yamagishi and Aigis, in their exploration of the city. Yukari has promised to share a wealth of secret insights from her time spent living here– many of which concern where to find her most highly recommended sweets. Once they’ve returned home, Mitsuru will make a point to spend time with everyone one-on-one and truly get to know them.

As she steps back into the lobby of the inn from the courtyard, Hiraga flags her down and inquires after her wellbeing, as he is wont to do; both he and Odagiri express their relief when she can genuinely say that she’s doing better. She leaves them to the playful argument that Hiraga incites soon after, smothering her amusement at how strongly they remind her of a certain other pair.

She turns towards the stairs and her eye catches on a figure standing conspicuously apart from any of the clusters of students milling around. It takes her a moment and a second glance– one she can only pray was adequately subtle– to register just who she’s looking at.

In her own defense, the sight of Shinjiro Aragaki, of all people, wearing a traditional yukata was not one she would have ever predicted seeing.

That being said… it isn’t a sight she has any complaints about.

Technically his silhouette is a bit smaller without the added bulk of his coat, but the fine cotton drape serves to showcase the actual breadth of his shoulders very nicely. The low collar and his tied-back hair emphasize his throat– the strong, corded line that runs from the corner of his jaw to his breastbone.

For once his eyes aren’t half-concealed under the shade of that hat he favors, either. She finds it a terrible shame that he keeps them– and their subtle, warm expressiveness– hidden away so much of the time.

…

What an awkward time she’s chosen to discover that her very dear friend is, in fact, incredibly attractive.

No, that isn’t entirely accurate. Mitsuru has known for some time that he’s quite good looking, and perhaps more to the point– good looking in a way that she, specifically, finds very appealing. She’s been aware of this fact since before she had begun to enjoy his company; since even before the two of them had been able to get along at all.

At the time, it had been infuriating. As they had grown to be friends, it instead became amusing. An entertaining but trivial and easily ignorable quirk of their relationship.

Lately however, ignoring it has been more and more difficult, even with the considerable amount of practice she’s had with the exercise.

It’s been part of her daily routine since Tanabata, when the confrontation with the Lovers Shadow had forced Mitsuru to acknowledge certain elements of her feelings about Akihiko that she’d previously avoided considering too closely. She had dutifully unpacked those elements, examined and identified them, and then promptly boxed them up again to actually be dealt with at a later date.

Whatever event or events had catalyzed the paradigm shift when it comes to Shinjiro had been subtle in comparison to the… near-incident… in that hotel room with Akihiko, but the results are the same, and the conclusion is no less undeniable: she cannot put off addressing this unnamed pull between the three of them for much longer.

Of course it had never been her intention to keep it all swept under the rug forever. Back in July she’d sworn to herself that it was a temporary measure, to be kept in place only until they had finally vanquished the Dark Hour. Then she would broach the subject with Akihiko, and they would be free to explore what it might mean.

But now the day when they can lay down their weapons seems more distant and uncertain than ever, and it’s been made all too clear to her just how easily someone can be snatched away while she waits for the right time to reach for them. They’ve come so close to losing Shinjiro once already.

Perhaps ‘the right time’ is not this very moment, but it will have to be soon.

Despite her continuous attention, Mitsuru is still caught off guard to suddenly find her gaze returned. Shinjiro’s expression changes very little aside from a scant inward slope to his brows, but she can see the question there as clearly as words printed on a page.

Holding fast to all the manufactured serenity that a lifetime of navigating social minefields has earned her, Mitsuru strides to stand beside him. She is the very image of someone who had not been shamelessly ogling mere moments ago.

She’s overstepped again. He’s been very kind about her lapses in decorum these past weeks, never once calling her out on those moments of weakness– but she cannot and should not expect him to tolerate such behavior forever.

Ah, so he’s merely being bashful again. She’s relieved, of course, but also– more than a little charmed.

Shinjiro blinks at her, seemingly at a loss for words. Mitsuru preens, pleased with herself for rendering him speechless.

And then, ducking his head, he laughs. He’s been freer with laughter since he’d awakened from his coma, but always with a guarded quality to it that hadn’t been there when S.E.E.S. was new.

That restraint is nowhere to be found now– Shinjiro laughs openly, quiet but full-throated and just like he used to.

Her heart flutters like a hummingbird high in her chest. She can only hope that it isn’t as blatantly obvious from the outside as it feels.

The right moment will have to come soon, indeed.