#reflection on my hyperfixation

[rinsfandomfixations]

A Letter to my Squid Game/457 Fixation

While the final season and episodes of Squid Game have already come out, and I am sure many have already finished it, I am writing this not having watched it yet and completely spoiler free.

I just wanted to write a quick reflection before whatever season 3 has in store for me and my half year long hyperfixation (AHHH I'm scared but excited 😱). But in reflection...

I have not had a hyperfixation like this one in years...

One that has pulled me into engaging in fandom discourse, discussions, and memes online

One that has me doodling and drawing characters I like again, and actually trying to color and digital art like I used to before

One that actually brought out my creative side, which I felt I haven't seen in a little under a decade

One that had me reading fanfics on fanfics on fanfics, and actually had me start writing ideas and freewrites for fanfics of my own (I have not posted any of them 😅 - maybe someday)

One that had me watching a bunch of movies I would probably have not gone out of my way to watch usually, but I wanted to because of the actors 😆 [I MET MY GOAL OF WATCHING 10 LEE JUNG JAE MOVIES BEFORE SEASON 3! WAHOO! Lol I shall prob post about all those movies soon]

One that had me sending memes, video edits, and these movies to some friends to drag them into my fixation with me

And one that actually made me finally make a Tumblr account LOL

So in a time that has been so busy, and when the world and society's news have been a bit too much and a bit too stressful at points, I found comfort and creativity in a show (ironically enough) about the hardships of the world and human nature. But this fandom made it (and 457) fun and inviting.

So whatever happens this season, thank you Squid Game and the 457 ship and fandom for making it an encouragingly creative and fandomyly enjoyable past few months 💖

Just some other side thoughts to myself:

Tbh I think the last time I was so hyper-fixations and "involved" in a fandom, and been within a fandom space, along with drawing and writing creatively was the Free fandom funny enough, which is almost like 10 years ago LOL, though I did actually make fan merch, which for Voltron and Yuri on Ice - which was also a long time ago at this point. It's just been so nice to find something that has sparked that creativity again. I've even gotten to think I'll make a sticker sheet or keychain for myself at some point of Gihun and Inho XD

I'm thanking Squid Games now, and hoping I'm not back in 6+ hours to take that back LMAOOO - I'll be back after binging it ✌️

[kobochasketch]

Various Citadel boys from last year's sketchbook. ;)

[sherbetstudios]

Honey, I’m home! [LFLS animation meme/PMV]

⚠️ blood cw

+ the yt thumbnail

this will also be premiering at the same time this is posted!

[poisoned-pearls]

some of yall complain abt wlw ships now getting enough attention but want people who like mlm ships to cater to ur tastes instead of making ur own damn content… like be the change you wanna see in the world wtf. Fandom content is all made out of free time and labor.

(This isn’t related to general observations but tbh even if you are you should talk abt how SOCIETY has trained people to focus on men more. Saying a FANDOM is misogynistic, esp when the shipping culture is mainly women, is incredibly fucking dumb. The FANDOM isn’t misogynistic FUCKING SOCIETY IS‼️‼️)

[wildsaltair]

[im-not-corrupted]

12345 Tag Game

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words (feel free to interpret however you would like; if not on AO3, can be on Tumblr or FFNET, etc)!

Thanking you kindly for the tag @samsalami66 <333 I'll try my best not to include any double fics

Most Hits: When Atlas Shrugs, Whose Back is Breaking? (Dreamling, 85k, WIP)

In 1989, Hob Gadling nurses a drink in The White Horse, hoping his Stranger will walk through those doors one more. He’s ready to apologise for 1889, for pushing too far, despite the hurt that still stings whenever he thinks about that day a little too hard.

In 1989, Death comes to a decision. Her brother has suffered for too long. Though she is bound by ancient rules, unable to intervene, she knows of somebody who isn’t and hopes he will be willing to save her dear brother from Fawney Rig, and she finds him waiting once more at The White Horse.

A week later, Hob Gadling saves Dream of the Endless from his prison of glass and iron, and the two navigate the troublesome waters of friendship and healing.

———

[or: the obligatory Hob saves Dream from the fishbowl fic]

Second Most Kudos: the space that's in between (every page, every chord, every screen) (Dreamling, 26k)

Before, Hob Gadling never believed he’d be unfortunate enough to love someone who’d never love him back. He’s never coughed up flowers before, and he’s willing to bet he never will.

After 1789, Hob Gadling dreams of his Stranger, realises a few things about himself, and coughs up his first flower petal.

———

[or: nobody talks about their feelings, Hob Gadling has been coughing up flowers for centuries and can’t speak properly after 1989, and it turns out communication is a vital part of a relationship. Who knew?]

Third Most Comments: take it slow (Dreamling, 34k)

"Bullshit,” he said abruptly, and Dream…did not expect that. His own eyebrows creeped into his hairline; he ignored the stinging and the pulling that simple action caused. It did not matter. “You look like you’ve gone ten rounds with hell itself, my friend. I didn’t…I didn’t even know anything could hurt you like that. Just…” His shoulders stiffened. For the first time since he began to talk, he seemed suddenly unsure of himself, or perhaps of his words. “I…Would you like to come back to The New Inn? I would like to look at those cuts, Stranger. You…You don’t deserve to be hurt like that.” The words struck him not unlike a blow to his face. Stung just as much as one would, with the added effect of knocking the air from his lungs. He could not even dredge up amusement at Hob’s unassuming 'you look like you’ve gone ten rounds with hell itself', instead staring at Hob wide-eyed.

After his duel with Lucifer and retrieving his stolen tools, Dream is injured and in pain. When he sees Hob, the man insists on helping him care for his wounds.

Fourth Most Bookmarks: the majesty of fantasy (protects me from tragedy) (Dreamling, 26k)

This time, Dream’s imprisonment takes more from him. Upon escaping, he finds himself unable to move on. He is tired, even after regaining his tools and power, and cannot understand why he’s unable to shake off the effects of his time imprisoned.

After Death suggests finding Hob Gadling, he finds The New Inn but does not walk inside. The idea of seeing the cruelty he has suffered first hand reflected in Hob is too terrible for him to bear, and so he returns to The Dreaming.

After some prompting, though, he begins to visit Hob’s dreams. Somehow, he finds a safe space there in the company of his friend.

———

[in which: Dream is miserable, everybody is worried about him, and Hob’s fairly sure his Stranger has been visiting his dreams but has no proof to back that up.]

Fifth Most Words: and sip the sunlight from your eyes. (Dreamling, 38k)

Three months after Hob Gadling learned why his Stranger had not turned up in 1989, the two of them form a friendship. Slowly, the Dream Lord begins to understand friendship.

Inevitably, the Dream Lord finds himself falling for the immortal man. This goes against everything he knows, and he soon pushes him away in an attempt to protect Hob from himself.

Hob—who is very much in love with Dream, and still doesn’t know his name—just wants Dream to be okay. He waits patiently for him once more, and when Dream returns to him with an apology and an offer for something more, he thinks the wait was worth it all.

———

[or: Dream has a tendency towards self destruction, Matthew and Lucienne deserve a raise or ten, Hob has once again has the patience of a saint, and all of Dream’s problems would be solved if he learned how to communicate properly. He gets there eventually.]

Least Word Count: i am Emptiness, i am Hope (The Sandman, 869 words)

There are stars painted on the ceiling.

Most paintings depict stars to be silver, ethereal and glowing. Or white, beautiful and elegant, tiny specks in the night.

These stars are gold, painted atop a backdrop of an imperfect shade of blue, the shade of twilight.

If these were anything else, they might be considered beautiful.

The King of Dreams likes stars. He has stars in his eyes, the King of Dreams - or at least, he usually does. Now, all that is left of those stars are…echoes. Memories of supernovas and binary stars, reflected in pale, icy blue irises.

He does not like these stars.

I am so sure I've seen everybody do this but who knows? Tagging @cuubism @tharkuun and anybody who sees this and wants to participate, feel free to do so <3

[swan2swan]

Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous

Running Gag: "What Are You Doing?"

[tapeworrmart]

So I have consumed that whole SH2 remake James' mental illness and SA theory document and I gotta say.... It fits. I can really see it. My eyes are open. I wouldn't put it past a game like that to make suggestions in that direction.

Also printing the Silent Hill 2 novel off to read as we speak. I'm normal about that guy and his trauma I swear

[whiteredrose13]

Oh yeah, I do art, don't I?

[congregation-of-the-spiral]

thinking about writing a jmart fic inspired by my original story. would y'all read it or nah

[risingshards]

Spring 2024 anime review!

It's time for my annual anime season review! I had a lot more shows to watch this season than last, which at times got a bit hectic! It's not quite done yet but it's done enough that I think I can put this up. Warning: Long post incoming where I ramble about the many anime shows I watched and personal reflection about how Going Through It™ affected my watching.

Laid Back Camp Season 3: My fav of the season, I'm obsessed with these camping girlies and any more time with them is always a treat. The combo of the suspension bridge arc with the wacky over the top arc is a fun jarring one, and the last trip was so sweet. Rin and Nadeshiko felt even gayer this season which is impressive, they're the most girlfriends to me, Chiaki and Aoi too (or maybe I should just ship full camping polycule???) It was only a few second scenes too but I love that they added Aya into the later arcs as well. I've been in a rough place mentally for a while and it kicked into a new gear this summer, so the comfort vibes of the show hit differently. I'm a super anxious person so chill times where everything is OK is such a nice escape from the world. Shout out to the OP/ED for being my favs this season! Also highly recommend both sub and dub, because the dub cast is SOOOO good once more. Celeste Perez is so fantastic as Rin, and Morgan Laure Garrett does an incredible performance as Nadeshiko. The whole cast is so great I could ramble on and on about them.

Whisper Me a Love Song: Not technically done yet as eps 11 and 12 are delayed, but in spite of the production woes this one has my heart this season in that "I love the manga and am happy to see this animated, I am hyperfixated, and warts and all I love watching it and get way way WAYYYY too sensitive about it seriously chiral go touch grass instead of having anxiety attacks about an anime" kind of way. The voice cast is SO perfect and everyone fits their characters so well and it's a treat to see the manga adapted. Himari and Yori's fluffy relationship was so sweet and I teared up a lot at their big moments. My beloved Aki got so many delicious angsty scenes while also showing her as not a bad person, just someone who's caught up in a crush while heartbroken about her true love leaving her (a true love that she didn't even realize was true love). Speaking about that true love, Shiho getting to be a feral cat storming into the proceedings is a treat, and I love that we get to see her earlier in the anime than in the manga.

The downsides ofc are the production that delayed two of the episodes, and now has the last two pushed to a later date, and my big qualm is the festival getting skipped over (well still kinda animated in the visual comic they released with the voice actors doing great on it), that's a bummer. I can see structurally what they were going for, 6 eps for Himari/Yori and 6 eps for the very popular Aki/Shiho storyline, and having the 'lost' ep voice acted helps a bit. But ughghggh even with all that...IDK it's still my babg and they're my babygorls so I'm rooting for 11 and 12 to be really great and for me to not engage with any fandom discussion about it LOL. Like I said this one had my heart this season, and when something latches onto your heart like that, I think it's good to cherish that a bit.

Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night: I heard the buzz a few episodes in about this and was hooked pretty quickly. The animation quality was great, I adored the characters, and I loved the queerness in it with the nonbinary talks, trans yakuza ladie, the kiss, and while I wish they went more in on the romance, we still got a lot of queerness that I don't want to count out. It's another case where I really need to disengage with what people think about something when it's special to me (that might be the moral of the season, honestly). My big downside for this is it got a little too stressful for me, the big fight towards the end of the show kept me up at night. I might be going through it pretty bad if watching anime does that to me BUT we stay silly.

Train to the End of the World: I didn't realize until I saw a post about it like yesterday that this had the same director as Kill la Kill and Gurren Lagann and in hindsight yeah that tracks. This was such a wild ride, I love a good journey story and this scratched that itch well. A group of girls go on a weird, hilarious, and heartfelt journey via train through a bizarre world? It made me really want to write a journey story. Funniest show of the season by far, crazy visuals, fun action, each episode being a strange little journey on its own helped the vibe.

The Many Sides of Voice Actor Radio: This was a really cute one, bubbly gyaru x stoic girlie is a fun dynamic. Going by the structure, I assume this was the first 3 light novels adapted, since each arc was 4 eps IIRC. I hope the light novels get translated here because I'd love to see where the story goes next. My downside to this is this one also got STRESSFUL stressful in that like social kind of way as the main duo deals with stalkers, assholes online, shitty voice directors (I hope that voice director that was giving Yasumi a hard time gets super fired in season 2) and that took away from the fluff at times. Still was a definite highlight of the season.

Nijiyon Animation 2: Maybe even weirder than the first season, I was really glad to get more of this one, weekly 3 minute adventures of a wacky gay harem really is good for the soul. I love the vibe of like "yeah we're doing this premise this week let's just go with it" that a lot of the episodes had. Do Season 3 cmon!

Vexations of a Shut in Vampire Princess dub: I am a big stan for Vexations, and this dub has not disappointed so far (I think just one or two episodes to go for it), VERY well cast with Brittney Karbowski (of Railgun fame) putting in a STELLAR performance as Komari, showcasing all the facets of Komari's personality, like her spoiled bratty princess side, her anxious about being plopped into a dire situation side, the theater kid performance that helps her through this, and many other sides, it's really fantastic work by her. Vill, Sakuna, and Millicent are standouts as well (every Millicent scene I needed to pause afterwards because wow 🥵).

I also watched the back half of Dungeon Meshi (which is so big rn that I feel like I don't know what to add? It's great!), the new Spice and Wolf which was nice, Bartender: Glass of God which was VERY chill, and a coworker friend rec'd Condition Called Love, but I did not really enjoy that one.

All in all despite the bumpy road, I was really happy with this season and got SO much yuri. I do still need to watch Girls Band Cry and will rectify that soon, I just had way too many shows to watch at once.

Next season I am mainly looking forward to My Deer Friend Nokotan, and started watching Suicide Squad Isekai mainly for the ED lol. Next season big goal also: Chiral touches grass and her hypersensitive ass stops getting so worried about what other people think of the anime she watches and to just enjoy the anime hyperfixation while it's in full swing like this.

[invisibletinkerer]

Me: I'm doing my own thing, writing what I want to write without chasing popularity. Also me: Why am I so lonely?

[hybridtheories]

wow this blog is kind of ass

[freindsssssss]

Hyperfixations are so embarrassing you'll be so obsessed with something that u fr be considering a new career path and then when it ends you feel crazy stupid

[luckylunatix]

So I had another one of those moments where I realized I didn't actually like how a self insert turned out, this time being Ashton Firebrand/Pale Phoenix. Thankfully this time I had a different idea before that one that I think ultimately works better, I just haven't drawn it yet.

This new self insert is Alan Smithee, aka the Show Runner, a villain whose persona is that of a hotshot movie/TV show director.

Throughout their life they always had a lot of creativity and eclectic interests, especially when it came to media and pop culture. Unfortunately, they were often stifled by an overbearing single father who encouraged them very little, and had quite a bit of trouble socially as an autistic person. TV and movies became their friends, and they grew attached to compelling villains, believing them to be even more fascinating than heroes.

Now they commit acts of villainy with a cinematic twist, collaborating with other members of Gotham's rogues gallery and guiding their actions like a director, and often taking cues from their favorite movies and genres.

Their relationship with Oswald Cobblepot started after he opened up to them about his family's former glory and how they've fallen from grace, and in response Alan obliged to help boost his popularity through their non-criminal film projects, in hopes of making him a star.

[canadiancryptid]

One of my favorite things to think about when it comes to modern fantasy type stories is wonder how the supernatural elements may have influenced myths, legends or aspects of history. In a world that seems just like ours, there are so many little butterfly effects that things like magic or mysterious tech could have caused.

Infinity Train has a bunch of these. The Train picking people up would have definitely influenced history, but I like to think about how the existance of the Mirror World would have influenced things like the existance of vampire stories.

As seen with Tulip at the end if Book 1, if a Reflection ever left their post, their Prime would stop showing up in mirrors. If just a few reflections started to go rogue in the right time period, and people notice thier absence, coming to conclusions based on religious stuff and superstition, then all of a sudden you've got people being wrongfully accused of being a vampire. Over time, stories spread, and a case of a handfull of runaway reflections leaves the common story of vampires not appearing in mirrors.

A similar situation could apply to ghost stories. A Reflection runs off after their Prime dies, before the Flecs can take them to have their memories wiped and get assigned to a new Prime. Having grown attached to the family and friends their Prime left behind, they hang around for a while, watching from afar. Someone catches a glimpse of something that looks like someone who died... boom, ghost story.

Reflection Enforcement, of course, would use this sort of thing happening as an excuse to tighten their grip and use more force to keep any rebellious reflections in line. Eventually, nobody in the Mirror World still remembers a time when the Flecs didn't just jump to sanding at the first offense.

How often do mirrors seem to come up with in stories in relation to souls and spirits? How often do mirrors get used as a way to see into or travel to other worlds? How many stories in this alternate world were directly tied to reflections trying to do the same thing Lake did?

Really fun worldbuilding stuff to think about, and that's just a small part of the series. How did the Train itself change history? What events played out differently? Did it change things for the better? Or did it just make them a different kind of bad?