#renfaires can get really hot...

[zylphiacrowley]

Cooking up an idea for a renfaire OC. The Crow-ne: an old lady crow who was made into a human by a well meaning witch who she used to bring trinkets to. And because I have to make a backstory for all my OCs, even the minor ones, the witch made her a human to extend her life and accidentally gave her eternal life, so she survived the witch and now she lives alone in the tiny hut they shared. Might make it a thing to bring little trinkets to hand out to people or smth I dunno.

Mostly I wanted to make a big cloak with feathers and a beak on the hood and a staff with a little pouch full of trinkets...

[mariusrenathyrs-crashout]

As a big Shep lover and immediately being able to picture your little ranch au with him, Lethica and Marius I would love to hear some more about them!

Also as someone who had some formative dyke experiences at the renfaire seeing hot women jousting your renfaire au where Marius competes in tournaments is chefs kiss. And the rest of the gang worming their way into Mari's life out of pure loving srubborness makes me very happy.

Hope you feel better soon <3

Thanks for the well wishes!

AU talk below :) WARNING: IT'S LONG

Ranch AU my beloved. It's so funny coz it originally stemmed from me seeing this post ages ago about people's favorite crackships and Marius x Shep was one of them, and then a few weeks ago I randomly was like "I can justify almost any ship if I put my mind to it," and then accidentally got too invested into Marius x Shep. I missed Lethica too so wanted to add her but I want you to know when I imagine the 3 of them it's the most gorgeous woman in the world and then the knight and cowboy from Night at the Museum vibes lmao.

In my AU where for whatever reason they all live in the same timeline and fall in love, they basically found a shitty fixer upper ranch on some property far from town and it's perfect. Shepherd does a lot of the outdoor repairs like fixing up the barn or repairing the fence, Marius has been designated supply mule as he can chop down trees and haul them with his intense strength. Lethica has planned out this fixer upper so meticulously too, sparing no detail to cater to herself and her boys to make it truly the most customized and personalized home they could all live together in.

The dynamics of the trio are interesting. Marius and Lethica were a couple first - obviously - but they both fell for Shepherd though Marius had sort of a hard time realizing and coming to terms with his feelings. I think at times he struggles with thinking he's unfaithful, though Lethica always reminds me she's more than happy in this arrangement and she loves the two with pieces of her heart she could give no other. Shepherd was just surprised at being invited into the fold in the first place, he probably thought it was just like a casual hookup situation at first til they all really started getting into it emotionally.

Marius and Shep love one another but butt heads often due to their dual desire to be in control of situations - not in a bad way more so taking responsibility for things and needlessly burdening themselves with loads that can be shared - and navigating their respective mental illnesses was tricky at first. They both like feeling useful, both try and take charge and also take blame for things, Marius gets challenged a lot by Shepherd about his guilt over his corruption by the Duchess. It's a whole thing the two fight about when Marius gets really in his head and combative. But the two do love one another a lot, even if when they get in their heads they struggle communicating at times. Marius takes Shepherd out for rides on Dawn who just adores Shep, Shep helps keep Marius grounded and confronts him bluntly and honestly which Marius needs, Marius really does a good job reaffirming Shep's humanity and his worth as a person not as a tool and the two help one another with respective traumas.

Lethica and Shep would be a cute couple in my opinion. She jokes and prods him in ways that really fluster him and she's always very tender with him when he's in a state. He thinks she's the most gorgeous woman to ever walk Avantris and he finds her intelligence something that could rival Azran's, she's witty and charming and his heart flutters when he sees her so brazenly stand up for her morals and what she believes to be right. She has never batted an eye about his racial nature, never once held an ill thought about Tieflings, and has never touted her faith as one he needed to follow in order to love her. He respects her greatly, feels elated doing acts of service for her and he likes their late night talks when she divulges little secrets and vulnerabilities to him, it makes him feel not only like he's protecting them but he's entrusted to hold them.

The three have their ups and down days for sure. Sometimes when Shepherd is really agitated he takes to sleeping out in the field or barn so Lethica and Marius can share the bed and he doesn't "infringe" on their space. Sometimes Marius can be found sitting up all night on the porch or patrolling the fields to guard his partners from monsters and threats his mind is coming up with. Sometimes Lethica retreats within herself and is silent for so long that the boys want to beg for her to tell them what's wrong, but know they cannot so they just exist wisping around her until she's ready.

But so often it's so nice. The nights laying by the campfire and laughing so hard Shep falls off his log seat, Lethica pointing to the clear open sky as they lay on the roof and she identifies each constellation for them, Marius taking them on horseback rides and picnics. There was one night under the Star and moonlight Marius and Lethica tried teaching Shepherd to ballroom dance which turned out alright, but it did turn into Shep teaching them how to line dance. Lethica tells them of Galtica and they hold her when she says she misses her home so far away, Marius has his crying fits when all touch seems like the Duchess' and they coax him back into bed and pet his hair and reassure him as he falls to sleep, when Shepherd is working himself to the bone thinking he has no place they slot him in so easily it's so natural like he's meant to be there.

Their ranch is cute too btw. The earth is dry but still produces decent vegetation, the grass is always high and buzzing with bees. There's few trees but lanterns strung from them. The outside is a dark red wood and black framed accents. The inside is an odd blending of all their tastes, rustic but refined. My favorite detail is Lethica having painted above the trim little designs inspired by them. Of little red foxes and white horses and barn owls all chasing after one another. Their bedroom is dark but never depressive or suffocating, just cozy. Their kitchen clearly is where they spend the most time together with its large table and their collected mugs in the cupboards. Lethica has her study, Shepherd has his shooting range in the back and Marius has a small forge-like area to repair his swords and tools.

Augh it's cute.

[ghostgirl-22]

hi Dani! congrats on your 100 stories ✨ I love your writing so much and I'm excited to see the new stuff you're going to put out ☺️

for the celebration I choose Patrick and I would love to hear your take on "What’s something they like that may be surprising to others?"

in my mind since he's a rich boy I can totally see him being an opera fan or secretly being really good at golf... or maybe his favorite food growing up was chicken nuggets with caviar on top?? anyway thank you for your amazing writing and for fueling my insane obsession with these super hot tennis freaks!! 💕

-Naomi

Naomi!!! I love seeing your user name pop up in my notifs. And thank you so much for that wonderful feedback on challengers tiktok convo. Omg i love how you opened my eyes to so many things on a movie I feel like I thought I knew so much about lol. Always something new to learn!

Omg patrick is the mvp of these headcanons just like he’s the mvp of the movie <3

I love your ideas actually. Imagining baby Patrick demanding more 300$ caviar for his oven baked chicken nuggets made by their private chef hehe. Or if you snatch his headphones off and put em in your ears he’s listening to some famously beautiful Italian opera and you’re like whoa? I love how in the film its like he’s listening to npr of all things. Patrick just being casually refined because of his wealth is my head canon lol.

Like in the in between years you meet him and hes scruffy and smells kinda funky but hes hot and charming and so you let him come home with you. Hes good in bed and he’s funny but he’s blunt and vulgar and rude and you’re kinda nervous to have him at your fancy work event at the yacht club because you don’t want him to embarrass you. And next thing you know he’s talking stocks and trading and finance with all the authority and know how of someone who’s been doing it for years and your managers and the finance bros are just like who is this guy? He also knows a lot about boats and sailing. Rattles off information about different specs like he’s bored. At the same time he’s loading up napkins full of leftovers “here keep this in your purse they aren’t gonna eat all this food we can’t let it go to waste.”

I could also see him doing something lowkey dorky like taking part in renfair jousting as a knight. You want to make fun of him but hes just so cool about it he makes you feel like it’s cool because he’s doing it. he’s often a favorite to win his jousting match and ends up with the crowd on his side and plenty of fair maidens… literally 10/10 gorgeous women (cause all gorgeous girls love renfair)… throwing themselves at him. And thats when you get why he does it. suddenly you feel so important like sorry ladies you’re that gets to leave with him.

[lilliancdoodles]

You’re heading to a ren faire?

What are they like? :>

YES!! They're so much fun. It's an entirely outdoor event where a bunch of people dress like high fantasy or dnd! There are entertainers, shows, shops, and a whole number of other things. People wear really whatever (within reason). Men in kilts, women in lowcut dresses, pirates, elves, full on dragons with working wings, people in their fur suits (how they don't melt is beyond me), and one year I even saw a Techno cosplay. Some little kids come in disney princess dresses just whatever. A bunch of people also just show up in casual T-Shirts and jeans. It's just a time to go wild and have full on fantasy fun.

Some of the popular shows are the falconry/bird show where these bird masters bring out and show their trained birds like falcons owls and show off tricks like having them fly over the crowd. They have jousting, archery, tomato throwing, knight training for little kids, face painting, hair braiding, a live glass blower, and a ton of other things. There are several mini shows all over the fair grounds telling the stories of Robin Hood and Maid Marian (I really want to go twice one year and spend one day just following the story all over the grounds). One of my favorite shows is the Washing Well Wenches, where these two women shamelessly flirt with the men in the audience, it's great. And if people want to they can get married at ren faire, they have a mini church at the grounds (maid marian and Robin Hood get married there in the mini event series)

They also have food there. I've gotten pineapple soft serve in a straight up pineapple, a turkey leg the size of my forearm (I shared it with my family, so 4 people for one leg) funnel cakes (fried dough covered in powdered sugar), but also some normal stuff like hot dogs. There is also alcohol everywhere, Im not old enough to drink so I don't partake in that, but it's there for those that want it.

For shops OH MY GOSH THE SHOPS. They have candle sellers, glass sellers, jewlery sellers, leather works like satchels and belts and fore-arm guards, cloaks, corsets (I got my corset at a renfaire), and so many other fun things. You could spend a whole day in just the different shops

If it's something you think you would be interested in I can't recommend it enough.

[angel-of-the-moons]

Ooo! if you don't mind me asking, what dress are you working on?

It's a Tudor gown for a Renfaire happening close by! I used parts of an old dress I made years ago, plus an assload of fabric my Mawmaw sent me. I don't have time to sew on any pearls (even the faux ones are yikes expensive and the faire is on Saturday!) and sadly lack a farthingale, but it's turning out nicely. (i also won't have a chemise (yet) simply because it's supposed to be like 65-80°F this weekend and it can get hot)

I'm almost done (technically). Really all that's left is the sleeves, French hood, girdle/belt, the lacing in the bodice and to attach the front panel. I plan on trying to embroider some designs on it (Based on Hera Syndulla's lekku patterns thanks to the input of a friend, maybe the Rebel Phoenix, too!)

Got my Moon Knight scarab pin I plan on using as a brooch for a bit more detail because it's rather bare-bones for now.

The design is based closely off of Elizabeth I's dress in this portrait!

(Also I plan on adding pockets hehe)

But tbh this might be one of the best ensembles I've ever made, and in just a few days with no patterns, too!

[superpeanutgarden]

Night Blogging

okay, *technically* I'm not using the term right. It's an old phrase from before we called it Shitposting- we blamed all the weird stuff on sleep deprivation and Australians lmao

But it's night, and I'm blogging, so here we are.

so if you've read my other long posts, you'll know I'm in multiple open polyamorous relationships... and that I'm having what one might call "a hoe phase" and an accompanying crisis about if I still have worth if I'm a slut.

Well now im having a whole different (but still slut-adjacent) crisis. Do I even know what romance is????

This didnt come out of nowhere. My girlfriend mentioned that I was dating around as though I was single several months ago. And today she- wisely- brought up that i am at risk of girl bossing too close to the sun. and I had already been thinking about how my sibling had said that our parents didnt really model romance for us, and that we were told that romantic love is just kissing your best friend. And to be clear: I TOTALLY am. I'm not lonely or touch starved or sad or maidenless (or lad-less) in any sense of the imagination.

So... why am I still pursuing people??

The tree i can understand. He's a fun fuck, and he travels the renfaire circuit so I wont see him all the time. No chance of a solid relationship, just a fun easy breezy fling.

The lookout? Similar thing. Super fun to make out with and fine as HELL, but he lives like three hours away and doesnt seem interested in going steady. I can work with that

Max is PolySaturared and we just make out when I'm over for house parties, which isnt as often as I'd like but I'm desperately trying not to have too much of a crush on him (or his wife... or his girlfriend... or his other partner) so it's fine (jesus, maybe I'm not Ace, maybe I am just autistic)

Theres my good ex and my middle school bestie, but they're hella busy and our schedules havent really lined up. Disappointing, but acceptable.

The thing these people have in common is that they are almost entirely unavailable for me to date!! Until literally a month ago I was under the impression that I was just chasing the dopamine of New relationship Energy with ethically renewable sources and I could get my cozy domestic stability from my lovely girlfriends and partner...

And then trumpet guy and I made out at one of Max's house parties.... and Then I went on two dates with The Goblin King after making out with him and the Tree at the same time on NYE. And like??? It's so weird to say that I dont think either of them are stupid hot???? (But only one of the three people I'm dating is Stupid Hot, so there is precedent but?) It feels kinda weird and disingenuous to want to spend more time with these people who I'm not crushing on

And yet im Quickly falling head over clown shoes for trumpet guy. He's cute and fun and he asked me out on a date to dress way fancy and get sushi and go see a musical and???? I had just been telling a classmate that I didnt feel like I had been properly romanced since high school and?????? While I'm an impatient slut, it feels nice to be pursued.

The goblin king is really fucking sweet, and he's got really nice hair, but I'll wait to try talking myself out of liking him until after our next date... (too late, cant unthink that. I'll bring it up in person. He's really cool and I do want to still be his friend, but we both live with parents who would NOT get it so that kinda makes it hard to have solo couple time... or any couple time. It's not like I have to make a choice anytime soon but the dude deserves to know that I'm not sure if there's anything for us beyond friendship and the occasional kiss. Heck, we've only made out the one time and not even just us.)

Anyway, what's tumblr for other than an online diary??

[eolewyn1010]

Midnight! Not a sound from the pavement...~

Well, actually, there is sound, because it's raining again. And honestly, I'm not gonna complain about it. I know, it's not ideal, climate-wise, but hot, dry summers just kill me, so let me have this for now. Is it time already for the Elbe to flood again? I suppose other places need the rain more direly, but after the fires down in Sächsische Schweiz last summer, I'm happy if the forest is too wet to burn this year.

And I love listening to the rain. Even now that I'm itchy and insomniac, it's calming. Doesn't keep my thoughts from hopping around - like, an hour ago I was crying about a season finale of a show I'm watching - but I guess I'll just read @farnwedel snarking about Avalon until I fall asleep. I basically wanna thank them for about one to two dry, stupid jokes in each chapter recap; without that, the whole "reflecting on MZB and Darkover" business that I started would probably be way too dreary. Hell, even now, I've come to mostly spite my way through putting my memories in order. These days, it's difficult to get my brain to be quiet. C'mon, brain, let's go to sleep! Let's not write a tumblr friend an incredulous question about their tags; they hopefully have a nice brain and are asleep now.

Dammit, I still need to buy my train tickets for October. Today would've been a good chance for that, but then, we were tired today and really wanted to go home. My back hurts, and has been for three days; I feel like an old woman. I should be in a better mood, should at least get to feel a little accomplished - finally tackling the remains of uni bureaucracy, and my internship is finished two weeks from now. But the thoughts keep circling; I'm having restless dreams again, wandering through strange houses and meeting people, friends from years ago, family... Last time I dreamed, my grandma was there. She died five years ago, or four? I think it was the summer before Corona. She never made such a fuss or so many words about shit as I do. Oof, why does my brain always take so long to sort itself out? Always thinking twenty things at once.

Like, a couple days ago? I was at my niece's birthday party. Played a while with my nephew, and when I told him I'd go home soon and he got a little smug about not letting me leave, I told him there was nothing he could threaten me with that would impress me. Little brat shot me with a crossbow. Okay, that's not fair; it was a small, wooden renfair crossbow with very light and blunt bolts, but he shot that thing at my face from like three inches away? He's ten; he shouldn't be such a brat, especially not when I'm wearing goddamn glasses! Anyway, I didn't say a word; I just hopped up, grabbed my stuff, and ran out, and even though I'm still sure he was way out of line, I can't stop thinking about how that was not a neuronormative thing to do. Ugh. I wasn't the one who was misbehaving, so why won't you cut it out, brain? Is it because I didn't say goodbye to the others? I had a fright-and-flight reaction, is all. But nah, now, way after the fact, I can think it over. Ten or a hundred times. I wanna sleep...

[manictrinketfairypixiegirl]

Renfaire Packing List (Not for camping)

-Water (buy water before you go. it will be cheaper) sometimes you can even bring a soda.

-SUNSCREEN

-Sunglasses!

-A hat to protect your face from the sun!

-An umbrella to protect your body from the sun! (There are shows, lines, and cases where you REALLY will be greatful you brought one! Bring one that folds up nicely into your bag!)

-A picnic blanket! (Size doesn't matter. Sometimes there are no seats to eat at and this will help you create a space to eat at for yourself! ALSO GOOD TO PUT ON SEATS IF THE SEATS ARE METAL AND HOT.)

-Asperine/Pepto ALLERGY MEDICINE Bring something incase you get a headache or the food upsets your stomach.

-A Battery Power Bank to charge your phone! There may be NO PLACES to charge your phone or no service. So bring a battery power bank!

-collapsable water bottle (incase your bought water bottle isn't allowed in. but it should be fine.)

-electric battery powered fan that squirts water

-Clorox wipes, and hand soap and nose tissues. (You do not want to get sick being in a heavy social space. You will want to wipe your tables, wash your hands, and blow your nose if the terrain is dirt packed.) Also bring some cutlery like forks and a spoon or a straw.

Don't Leave Your Home Without:

-Your home keys

-Your wallet

-Your phone

-Your headphones (Optional)

[pacexlikexaxghost]

Steven goes starry eyed as Valor asks when his birthday is. He can see where that is going.

❝August 15th!! It's August 15th!❞ It's two months away, and now he's excited for a gift he might be getting.

At the question of what to do with the build up, Pearl chuckles. ❝Sell them? Humans don't have much use for weapons of that sort these days- at least not in the ways they wage war on one another- but there are still those that make and collect them.❞

❝You could make a lot at renfairs!❞ Steven laughs.

The moment everyone is on the pad, Bismuth activates it, taking them all to her forge.

❝This is where I get my Bismuth done,❞ she say eagerly, and Steven bursts into giggles.

❝Oh, she's got jokes!!❞

They head across the path, and Bismuth opens the entrance to the forge, gesturing everyone in ahead of her.

Pearl grabs Bismuth's arm as they head in, looking around with a grin on her face. ❝Oh, it's just as I remember it.❞

❝It feels like an oven in here,❞ Steven says.

❝Oh, you think it's hot now?❞

❝Yeah, like an oven!❞

❝Well it’s about to get a lot better!❞

Pearl quickly steps away from Bismuth, pulling Steven with her. He’s remarkably temperature resistant for his human half, but she doesn’t want him too close when Bismuth dumps the magma, and she gestures Amethyst, Valor, and Flicker to hold back with her. Garnet both knows what to expect and would be fine regardless.

And as Pearl expected, Bismuth does dump it over herself. A show off as always. She can’t stop grinning. It’s really her. She’s really back, like she was never gone in the first place.

What possible reason could Rose have had?

And of course, Bismuth goes from there to crafting a sword on the spot, and offering it to Pearl.

❝My skills still hold to your standards, oh terrifying renegade?❞

Pearl laughs, Rose immediately taken back off her mind as she gingerly grabs the blade by its hilt- the metal is still cooling- and takes it from her.

❝Oh absolutely fine craftsmanship, though,❞ she smiles slyly, ❝I believe what you promised was a new pair.❞

They both laugh, and Pearl stores the sword away in her gem.

❝That was so fast!❞ Steven says. ❝And you’re lava proof like Garnet!❞

"Huh. That's interesting. I mean, sucks what they refuse to teach you now, but if it used to be normal . . ." What individual gems did was so baked into their forms, especially considering the way Bismuth just reshaped her entire hand, the thought of it having once not been, or at least not as horribly strict . . .

Titan, if White was considered the first, as Pearl had mentioned when she mocked her earlier, then if Pearl's hypothesis was correct then what happened to cause her to change their society to be what it was now?

"Well, I don't make just keychains. I also make pins or just . . . the pieces of art themselves without any attachments." Steven wanted a handmade keychain of lion . . . "When's your birthday, again?" It was soon, right?

He chuckled. "Weapons take up a lot more space than little trinkets. What would I do with the buildup if I did it as a hobby?"

He followed Bismuth with clear excitement, Flicker following behind him. Seeing where everyone was gathering and that she'd said they should go, he asked, "Is this a warp pad, then?" Pearl had mentioned them but he'd never actually been shown one yet. This was the thing they were going to try to see if a spell could activate, then.

[theaviskullguy]

Akiza, Kalin, or Astral

okay. how about all three. ill try to keep them short and sweet

Why I like them/why I don’t

Aki- best girl. i think her story, what we got of it, was incredibly interesting. i loved her dynamics with the rest of the signers, especially yusei but thats just me being a faithshipper so. :/

Kalin- I am neutral on him. However i am still watching 5ds when i get to the crashtown arc that might change but like. hes the guy i love to hate since ive just seen him as a dark signer

Astral- okay so. i use they/them pronouns for astral because theyre an alien they should not have a human concept of gender. Anyways, i loved kinda their development over zexal! they and yuma just sorta blended together. also that voice... very nice. i want that voice.

What I like about their appearance

Aki- everything. I love her aesthetic, i love the silhouette, the color pallet... before i realized how hot it would be my renfair outfit was inspired by her which is a big compliment.

Kalin- Okay so this one user who i dont remember the name of said that the clothing of Sattelite was very punk/biker and other than maybe crow. i think kalin shows it off the best. And I Fucking Love Him For That. also i want his gender.

Astral- I think the body markings to me. There's not much to Astral's design that i want to pull out because its all so elegant and gets across who they are very well.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Aki- I have a Kaito-Kite/Haruto-Hart situation but the other way around. Akiza is her full name, but she goes by Aki (though Izayoi is her last name). But in terms of preference not in writing. Aki for sure

Kalin- i watch the 5ds dub because i watch it while playing zelda so i cant read subtitles. so im more adjusted to his dub name. Also i can never remember how to spell his og name.

Astral- name is the same in dub/og, so no comment here.

OTP

Aki- FAITHSHIPPING FOR LIFEEEEE literally the one het ship in all of yugioh that i ship. Its so cute and so canon. though to me theyre bi4bi so. kinda not really a het ship?

Kalin- ill be honest ive never really thought of kalin in the shipping sense. again, i really only know him as a dark signer, so i dont think im in a place to comment on this.

Astral- keyshipping. i know im basic but its cute and its just. Yeah its just cute!

NOTP

Aki- Her and Divine. Fuck Divine All My Homies Hate Divine

Kalin- same as above, ive just not thought of him in the ship sense.

Astral- I dont really have any notps with astral. The closest is them and 96 but even then i am flexible on that

OT3/BROTP (i added the brotp just so i have something to talk about for some peeps)

Aki- i havent found too many fics of it. but i have seen like one cute piece of fanart thats crow x yusei x aki and it lives in my brain rent free i think its so fun.

Kalin- again, not really a kalin shipper, but heavy believer in a Kalin and Leo Brotp for the sole reason of i think itd be funny and i have a vivid image of him teaching Leo to say the fuck word.

Astral- Them and Yuma are a package deal so if i ship someone with yuma, chances are its an ot3 with astral as well. so thats trey x yuma x astral, shark x yuma x astral... yeah.

Favourite card they use

Aki- look this is going to sound Unoriginal but Black Rose Dragon. im sorry i love rose motifs i love dragons its the coolest thing ever

Kalin- His Earthbound Immortal. i dont know how to spell it but it just has a fun name to shout and it looks so goofy. i know its this terrifying thing but also its just. Silly.

Astral- they use yuma's deck for the most part. so. Gagaga Magician. if i had the resources id totally make a gagaga magician cosplay it looks so cool

Favourite moment they were in

Aki- ROLLER SKATING DATE WITH YUSEI. IT WAS SO CUTE. i have a lot of aki moments i like but thats the fun one

Kalin- His (first) duel with Yusei. he was just so crazy i lovb him.

Astral- "Sub-observation 13a, Yuma is my Friend" WHEN I TELL YOU I CRIED THE FIRST TIME I SAW THAT.

Least favourite moment

Aki- Her duel with Yusei with her parents there. Cause like. her parents actually hurt her and i know this is yugioh but like. you dont need to make her forgive them right away. have them earn it.

Kalin- I dont really have one, so i dont wanna pull one from thin air.

Astral- youre telling me this guy got so betrayed at their naive-ass boyfriend keeping a secret from them that they turned evil? it just. it never jived with me yknow?

Would I smooch, marry or kill them

Aki- smooch. i want to kiss her gently on the forehead or be kissed gently on the forehead in a motherly way.

Kalin- theres no option for a bro-fist. i would smooch him but, like with crow, in the "kissing the homies goodnight" way

Astral- itd be hard to do any of the above on account of them being incorporeal but i want them to experience a single smooch. i would kiss their cheek like how siblings sometimes do. at least its what me and my sis did i dont know if thats weird or not

[pyrepostings]

I went to a Renaissance Festival yesterday and want to list some key moments, some of which could be whumpy so that's how I'm going to frame the entire list.

Starting strong, before we even got through the gates there was a guy with a t-shirt with the text "the flogging will continue until morale improves" on the back so I knew it was going to be a good day.

Actually no, the Starting starting was the car ride, which was long and early and uncomfortable. It might have been worth it if the sun wasn't rising directly behind us and therefore not easy to enjoy.

It wasn't an issue today because I just got hiking boots specifically for this but sharp rocks on the ground will hurt your feet if you're going in style instead of practicality for footwear. You would think it would take less than half a dozen renfairs to fix this issue, but you'd be wrong.

My only exposure to Chappal Roan now has been some internet discourse I view from a distance, and two separate tavern bard acts getting Hot To Go requested in a row. Also shout out to the second girl who was told "if you're going to request that you're going to have to get up here and dance" and she did it was great.

Though the first band we saw had a genuine moment. A woman we later found out was the girlfriend of one of the members requested "the coconut song" and each member of the band had a verse about different reasons coconuts were dumb or whatever, and boyfriend's verse was last and he went "coconuts are child safe (x3), which is good because my girlfriend is pregnant" with the same tune and tempo as the others, and the moment of understanding and The Most Genuine excitement from the other members of the band, oh my god.

Anyway back to the whump. Heat stroke potential. That is all.

A correctly fitted corset might not restrict breathing, but it will press otherwise flowy and breathable fabric to your skin and trap heat.

People trust faeries far too much. I may be included in that. Though I do appreciate the visual of a fenced off faerie circle in the faerie forest. There's some kind of storytelling going on there.

Parade your royal whumpees around as the procession squeaks rubber ducks at them as they all stop and bow repeatedly. Mock their former status, ruin the words "your highness" for them.

Make your whumpee travel through rough terrain with a full plastic cup of a refreshing drink. Punish them if they've spilled, or it isn't refreshingly cold anymore when you reach the destination.

That one dog we saw that didn't have a muzzle at the start of the fest but had one at the end. And my mother's immediate reaction, "Oh someone's been naughty. And it's so hot today too."

It wouldn't be a renfair without at least two visits to the Danger Comittee act. We caught the final show, which is when they expirament with tricks they don't 100% have down and so can't put in their main show yet. They were trying a whip trick where they held a pretzel stick in one hand and a whip in the other and were trying to break each other's pretzels with their whip. Which is going to be really cool when they figure it out, and really painful for Mick on days like this.

Also happy pride month to Mick "When He Laughs I Can Feel It In My Mouth" Bald Guy, and Other One

Also it turns out when you sit close enough to the stage you can actually hear the flaming knives go by which is awesome, and a detail a whumpee with flaming knives thrown at it would probably not forget.

"I was threatening to throw a machete at a child, but mentioning a real symptom of a real disease is where the line is, ok." <- Ronaldo figuring out how exaggerated violence is funny

A detail that genuinely irks me sometimes about stage performers here, is the Way they ask for applause sometimes. I feel like it's fine to go "Oh I don't get any applause for sticking my hand into the cyclone of choppy choppy?!" But then don't tell us it's too late, that you don't want our pity applause when we start cheering then?? Or during the next trick where your jugglers are throwing knives back and forth between them and we cheer you stepping in between them don't admonish us saying "this is not the trick but alright, it's good to see how low the bar is" like guy, Ron, Ronaldo, if that is your real name, stop it. And that one fandazi girl, you don't get applause for stepping to the front of the stage, you get applause for doing the fire trick. So show us the fire trick and we'll cheer for you.

On a more positive note, I have been introduced to scotch eggs and I am in love. New favorite fair food.

[raevenlywrites]

Do you know how to sew poll

My tags

#church youth group by hand#punishment for being kicked out of school by machine

@inscrutably-coy tags

#i've done both but I'm not great at either#also raev I want to hear this story

Not that interesting I'm afraid. I was kicked out of my last two weeks of senior year and my mom thought I did it to spite her so she insisted I still learn something with those last two weeks so she made me learn how to sew (we worked together on some basic peasant tops and skirts I wore to renfair later that summer)

...okay, maybe it is that interesting? Lemme set the scene

The year is 2004. 9/11 is still very fresh in the small minds of my small rural town, and the powers that be (vice principal with little man complex) already hate me bc I'm goth and smarter than he is etc etc.

Be Me. Be voted "Delightfully Different" for the year book superlatives. Goth it up for picture day bc I know why tf I got voted this way. Give the people what they want. Dress like the motherfucking Crow.

(Fun aside, my now wife then girlfriend and I are responsible for SEVERAL amendments to the school dress code, including a beautiful line about "no trench coats, dusters, cloaks, opera capes, or other such outwear that hits below the knee. anyway)

Be me again, sick but at school bc that's how it fucken works. gotta train up teh work force etc etc. So i'm sick, tired, and in my fucking pjs bc fuck that noise. Get pulled out of homeroom by the wardrobe police (librarian) and be fed some bullshit line about how my pics for the year book "didn't turn out". On a digital camera. Bitch fuck you. whatever. take my picture, get out of my face, i hate you all.

Back in homeroom, buddy asks me what that was all about. me, grumpy, explains the above bullshit. complains, goes to last period.

get called to the office

principal mc inferiority complex stares at me, I stare at him. he asks if I have any idea why i'm here. i had honestly assumed it was to receive another scholarship and have my pic taken for the news paper, as has already happened a few times this month. smart senior, remember? so I just stare. Prin. Bullshit tries to do a hard ass routine, all cop drama style, am I sure I don't know why i'm here etc etc. I honestly have no idea and say as much. Something I said maybe? he asks smugly. Nope, no bells my dude. Something threatening?

Dear reader, I am truly lost. I'm sick, have a headache the size of texas, and just wanna go back to choir, the one period I share with my gf. I finally do the adult thing (sad but one of us had to be) and tell him I truly have no idea why I'm here so if he could just tell me we could both move on with our days.

He tells me a fellow student overheard me making a bomb threat.

I am floored. I do not recall saying such a thing because I didn't fucking say such a thing. I go over my conversations in my head, and it is only now after the fact that I realize what I must have said. in my tired teen tirade, I invoked the dreaded columbine and said something to the effect of "[in regards to my goth wear] it's like they're afraid I'm going to shoot up the school or something".

I really don't remember if I pieced that together there or later. I truly didn't care. Old dude says they can sett me up with ISS (in school suspension) which would take a week to set up so I'd only be in there for like three days anyways, or, and this is clearly his smug preference, I got home and never set foot on school property again.

This is, of course, the dream scenario. Finals are done; this last two weeks of school is seniors dicking around and practicing for graduation. I have no interest in any of this. It does not feel lik ea celebration or milestone to have slept my way through four years of high school. I gleefully accept his terms and drive myself home in my hot pink geo tracker I wrecked so that mom would let me paint it purple while it was in the body shop anyways (trying to impress a girl. it clearly worked, she married me)

Mom is furious. Swears I did this on purpose. I wish I had thought of it, honestly. Two weeks of crash course home ec ensue. I learn to sew on a machine and wear adorably bland peasant top to ren fair.

Graduation comes, I don't go (banned from school property). Friends after teh fact tell me that 1) the choir doesn't sing alma mater bc my beautiful gf refused to sing w/o me present, and we were the alto section. Popular girl in my grade who is unthinkably sweet and everyone loves and we were on the basketball team together in 7th grade goes on and on about how awful the person who made up lies about me must be and how terrible they must feel etc etc. Snitch is in that class, has to heard it, wants to die on the spot. Absentee victory.

See above where I was smart. Top 10 in my class. Announcer goes to read the students names. "Announcing, the top 10 graduates of 2004. Number 9..." Just skipped right the fuck over me. Goddamned hilarious.

So basically this is the story of how the adults in my life made fools of themselves and I had my Ferris Buehler's Day Off of it all.

And also sewed my younger sibling a monkey for their birthday.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Let’s Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend

So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist

We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.

I love Kat dearly

but she forgets that she's stupid strong and hypermobile

so one day she throws her back out

bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn't stand upright

"But also I needed Tampons and like.  A Burrito, real bad."

she's flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this

and, in an

impeccable

leap of reasoning, decides

"I can't roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.

But I can ARCH my back just fine.

SO 

I'm going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,

And amble on down to the 7-11"

"And get me that Burrito"

It is, 

for context, 

after midnight in July during a wildfire so it's hot as satan's own asshole and the moon is red and shit's already generally cursed.

Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world's deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don't see anyone's head over the counters.

Whatever.

Except you keep hearing noises like there's someone in the next aisle over.  

Fucking around in the burrito section

It's also worth mentioning that Kat

1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she's not paying attention

2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so

tonight's song is something from veggietales.

DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND

and/or is really fucking high and isn't sure if he's tripping balls or notanyway

Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons

She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire, 

exactly 

how she used the shelves to climb up the counter 

like one of the boston robotics beasties

dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.

"Register's broke.”

“Oh No!” Says Kat. “Just Take ‘em.” "Really?  I can leave cash-you don't have to give me change I don't want you to get in trouble with your manager." "...Nah." "Oh!  OK!  Thank you!" "Yeah ok bye."

Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about  "A Suspicious Individual" at tle 7-11. 

It took her 

FOUR

FUCKING 

YEARS

 to realize she was the suspicious individual

[quarterfromcanon]

Huzzah!

for @imunbreakabledude

Thank you for the wonderful idea generators you listed in your request; every single one served to spark some element of this piece and I had such a great time putting it together. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! <3 Happy Valentine’s Day!

Word count: 3,820

Rating/content warnings: G. Mild swearing. No violence and nothing really sexual. Unless you count #archeryarms. They are quite powerful.

Relationships: Mostly general Gurl Group and co. in nature, but there may or may not be a little Rethaniel kernel planted here somewhere... ;)

Summary: Our beloved residents of West Covina take a trip north to engage in some Renaissance merriment.

Rebecca stood before the wall-length mirror and ran her fingers along the feather tucked above the brim of her hat. She adjusted the small tambourine tied to her waist and planted both hands on her hips. 

"Well, fair ladies... or, should I say, RenFaire ladies, are we ready?"

A row of restroom stall latches slid aside and their doors swung wide to reveal the rest of the Gurl Group, all clad in their carefully selected costumes for the day. Rebecca bounced in place and clasped her hands under her chin.

A net beaded snood held all of Paula's beautiful red hair. An ornamental ruby brooch was fastened to the bodice of her ornate raspberry gown. She smoothed the fabric and held her head high, striking a pose.

Valencia repurposed the faux leather portion of her Bride of the Pirate King costume and fashioned it to be part of her falconer garb, complete with a Velcro wrist attachment featuring a tiny plush merlin fitted with a hood. A simple plait kept her field of vision clear with the added bonus of helping combat overheating. She twisted sideways and nodded approval at her reflection, pleased with the silhouette.

Heather had happily seized the opportunity to go as an archer, a set of garments she'd been assembling piece by piece ever since she started her continuing education class. Her hair was braided and bound together to reduce the risk of distracting strays. Many of her beloved camo greens were present in this ensemble, albeit separated into individual components of her attire. She moved to tuck her hands into her pockets, remembered that there weren't any, and instead hooked both thumbs through the belt.

The bridge of Rebecca's nose scrunched as she grinned. "Crushin' it. Fresno, here we come." 

"Play us out, Cookie," Paula urged.

Rebecca scooped her lute - easily the most expensive item for her look since she had been adamant about carrying a functional instrument rather than a prop - off the countertop and strummed. Her gaze turned skyward as she left the rest stop bathroom attempting to generate lyrics on the spot. 

"The countess doth my song request, I go at her courtly behest, and now I introduce four: there were none quite so resplendent, connected yet independent, trust me I'm the troubadour..."

Scott and Tommy were already waiting outside dressed as an earl and a squire, respectively. Tommy gave them all an appreciative thumbs up and Scott applauded. The latter strode over to Paula when she emerged. Scott bowed and then held out his hand. "My lady?" He gestured in the direction of their waiting minivan in an unspoken offer to escort her.

Paula smiled and accepted his outstretched palm. "Milord."

While they walked, Scott called over his shoulder. "I like the new ditty, Rebecca. Lotta info in a little time. Nice and snappy."

Rebecca waved an 'oh, stop' gesture, but she was unable to hide her delight in receiving positive feedback. "Thank you. I couldn't resist a little Danny Kaye tribute. I think it could work better if I ramp up the speed of my delivery, now that I've worked out the words."

Valencia flanked Paula on her other side and leaned in close to whisper, "What musical was she talking about?"

"No idea. It must've been before my time."

They loaded back into the vehicle, though with considerably greater difficulty given the added layers of their new outfits. Paula now had to sit in the middle with Rebecca to have room for her voluminous skirts. Scott took the driver seat in her stead, and Tommy sat beside him. Valencia detached the falcon from its perch and buckled it into the rear middle seat to keep it from sliding around on the drive. Heather observed this with quiet amusement. She patted the fake bird on the head. "Safety first." 

The wardrobe-swapping pit stop in Tulare was only about forty minutes away from their final destination, a span of time which seemed to fly by after the previous three hours on the road. Eagerness for the festivities ahead reached a renewed high as the park finally came into view. Scott pulled up to the waiting staff member and exchanged pleasantries. He passed the young worker a bag of canned goods they'd brought to contribute to the faire's donation drive and then fished out his wallet to pay the parking and admission fee. 

As soon as they exited the van, all the sights and sounds swept them into the action. There were myriad tents on either side of the path that wove through the trees. Bakers, potters, and weavers sold their wares; blacksmiths hammered hot metal atop anvils, and a cheerful tune drifted from a shelter housing a trio of professional musicians. The food court beckoned with the scent of cakes, pies, meats, and sandwiches. Their first quarter of an hour passed simply drifting from one table of offerings to the next, admiring everything and strategizing how they would spend their money later. 

Once they'd gotten a general sense of the lay of the land, Rebecca began walking backward to face the group at large and clapped her hands together. "Okay, time to get the party started. Where to first? Birthday girls' choice. Heather? Paula?"

Heather pulled a face. "That's not gonna be how you introduce us all day, is it? You're gonna confuse everybody since it's not, like, actually either of our birthdays. Not even close."

"Okay, true," Rebecca conceded, "but 'a November day that happens to fall almost squarely in the middle between the two and on a weekend we could all ask off work' is a mouthful to explain to strangers."

"Or we could just try, y'know, not sharing any details of our personal life with the RenFaire performers?" Heather suggested with a sarcastic shrug.

"But then none of them will sing you a period-appropriate song or raise a celebratory cheer." Rebecca pouted. 

Heather nodded with satisfaction. "Exactly."

"Verily, thou art a most obstinate addle-plot," Rebecca remarked with a sigh.

"Oooh, are we doing the olde timey talk now?" Paula brightened. "I've been practicing for this."

"Aye, good lady," Rebecca confirmed and linked their arms. "I believe the hour is upon us!"

Just like that, all lighthearted squabbling was forgotten. Rebecca and Paula joyfully riffed off one another using every medieval and Renaissance vocab word they could recall. They even dusted off their questionable English accents for an added layer of "authenticity." Tommy and Heather exchanged glances at some of the inventive word choices, having acquired a passing familiarity with the correct terms on their individual visits to similar faires, but they let the giggling duo indulge in their antics.

A short while later, they stumbled upon another tent of interest, which appeared to be dedicated to wood carving. There were wall hangings, placards, canes, birdhouses, and countless other novelty handcrafted objects. One rather simple looking cube with hinges on the corner of a table caught Rebecca's attention. She plucked it up for closer inspection. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips when she saw the lion rampant carved into the surface of the lid. She pried the box open with her thumb and gasped. 

"Aww, there's a little compass inside! I wonder how much this would cost to send to Na--" Rebecca dragged out the first syllable of the name, realizing too late that she'd spoken the thought aloud. "--antucket. I've got a cousin out there who might enjoy it for... scout hikes."

She nodded perhaps a little too emphatically at the end of this improvised statement. Her eyes flicked from one companion's face to the next to see if they bought the cover story. The reactions were unanimously not in her favor. 

"You were about to say Nathaniel." Paula gave Rebecca a reassuring nudge. "Sweetheart, you don't have to hide it from us. We've known for weeks that you two have been writing back and forth to each other. I accidentally used one of his envelopes as a coaster when you invited me over to hear a few works in progress."

"Yeah, and you stowed another letter behind Estrella's tank," Heather added. "Which is literally transparent so..."

"Having a pen pal is actually kind of perfect for you," Valencia said. "You're the only person I've ever known who bought stationery as a souvenir."

"It has been nice, keeping in touch," Rebecca admitted. "We're in different countries, both staying introspective and working on ourselves, but I think we've gotten to a place where we can check in on each other without undoing all the positive growth." She turned the compass over between her fingers and then held it out for the other women to inspect. "Do you think he'd like it?"

Heather's head tilted to the side. "Exclusive product ... a little pretentious but still practical... prominently features an animal you could find in a zoo... Sounds like a match from what I remember about him." 

"Plus, it's kinda symbolic, y'know? Like he can use it because he's surrounded by wilderness but he's also finding his way," Rebecca explained. "This could be a memento to commemorate that."  

She removed the wad of bills from the change purse on her belt and separated the necessary amount listed on the sticker. Once the compass was officially in her possession, Rebecca swung the bag back and forth, considering what a nuisance it would be to have that hanging from her wrist for the rest of the day. She nonchalantly turned a sharp corner as they left the tent. There, she discretely tucked the remaining dollars into her bra and stashed Nathaniel's gift in her former cash pouch.

The others were gathered around the pamphlet guide now open in Paula's hands when she returned.

"Looks like a lot of the big events are in the afternoon," Heather noticed.

"Count me in for the show where the guy swallows fire." Tommy tapped the corresponding spot on the park map.

"And we're getting funnel cake later, right?" Rebecca pointed to Paula and then back at herself. 

"Oh, of course," Paula readily agreed. "It's quintessential fairground food." 

"Don't forget the giant turkey legs!" Scott added, already scanning the large painted menus in the distance so he could make a beeline to that station once they were ready to eat. 

Valencia looked ill at the mention and returned her attention to the accessory booth she'd drifted toward while the others spoke. She held up two pieces she might purchase and frowned thoughtfully. Heather plucked a small standing mirror off the display table and held it for her while she considered each necklace in the sunlight.

A faint buzz sounded from Valencia's satchel. She angled her body so the jewelry could rest against her chest without sliding off and then rummaged for her phone. "Ah, crap." 

"Who is it?" Heather prompted. 

"Darryl with the five thousandth Pinterest idea for his Blended Family Unity Ceremony. I thought the point was to do something simple and sentimental, once they decided they didn't want all the hassle and planning of another wedding in their lifetime. April seemed in favor of that. But Darryl's gone down an Internet-ing rabbit hole and can't be stopped. I thought the ceremony itself might clock in at twenty minutes at most, when they first brought it to me."

"Oh, my sweet summer child." Rebecca shook her head as she tuned in to the conversation.

Valencia’s shoulders sagged and she grimaced. "I know. Joke's on me. At this point, I'd recommend the guests just clear their schedule for the whole day. This latest concept involved a giant canvas and finger painting so... wear something you don't care about."

A collective groan rippled through the group. It was confessed, however, that they all expected at least one genuinely tear-jerking moment, given Darryl's fierce and unwavering attachment to each person who would be in attendance. 

The six of them then followed the map to briefly observe a staged sword fight and a live joust. Paula and Rebecca reminisced over A Knight's Tale and lamented the fact that more stories depicting the era did not include extended dance and/or musical numbers. 

"With the obvious exception of The Court Jester, of course," Rebecca said.

Paula gave a vague nod, smile locked in place but eyes blinking rapidly. "Right. Sure bet it does." 

"You've never seen it, have you?" 

"I'm not even sure if it's a play or a movie." Paula offered an apologetic wince. "You're sorta my primary go-to when I need to understand these kinds of references. I don't have the head space for it."

"I mean, a first watch is definitely something we need to remedy on a weekend soon but, given that I have three decades of passionate devotion to the art form, I get what you mean." Rebecca patted her lute fondly.

They stopped by the wooden ship stationed on the grass where actors dressed as pirates interacted with the crowd and set off small cannons. Then the group advanced toward the last thing on their list of pre-meal activities, which was to watch one of the live shows. The uproarious energy there sparked a sudden idea. Rebecca took extensive notes on her phone, deciding to flesh out her earlier improvised song into a full number to capture the vibe of the faire.

Afterward, they all left the seating in front of the stage and headed toward the food court. The sound of drums diverted their attention along the way and they searched for its source. A small gathering of belly dancers circled on a stretch of open lawn. Rebecca began nodding her head in time with the drum beat, but the motion stilled as she studied the trained and toned muscles undulating beneath the nearest dancer's skin. The woman stood out among her peers as not only being adept at the style but possessing a kind of theatrical charisma. She noticed her new audience and winked. 

Rebecca tugged off her troubadour's hat and fanned herself. "Damn, that level of confidence is sexy."

Eventually, watching half a dozen stomachs reminded them of their rumbling own. With some reluctance, they finally moved along. At last, it was time for their much-anticipated lunch. Scott immediately purchased his coveted turkey leg and ale, both of which he enjoyed while the others mulled over their dining options. As they scanned the stands, the girls spied a large kiln not far away and recognized a familiar dish in the shadows. 

Rebecca pressed a hand to her middle. "Okay, I know it's not the kind of thing you can only get at the faire, but I need that pizza in me."

"Seconded." Tommy joined his honorary sister in staring at the melting cheese.

Once everyone had a plate, they found a place to sit at one of the wooden tables. Paula dusted some of the powdered sugar from the funnel cake off her fingers with a napkin and leaned toward Heather, who was stationed diagonally across from her.

"So, I haven't seen you much since fall break ended. How's grad school going?"

"The marine biology coursework combined with the kind of work that gives me money is kicking my ass but, like, in a good way. Especially since so much of it involves trips to the beach."

"I really admire you for going back, and for finding an area of study that would let you take so many fun field trips," Paula praised. 

Valencia caught Heather's eye and beamed. "Well-played, professor."

While everyone ate, they unfolded the map again atop their table. They scanned the times for where each person wanted to go between noon and dusk when the event would close. A second-half schedule was established and they prepared to seek out the first stop. Before doing so, however, Paula opened her phone's camera for a picture. Rebecca rounded everyone else up for the photo. 

"Prithee, gather ye round the magic picture box. Lady Proctor wouldst appreciate the opportunity to capture our likeness and preserve the memory."

They wrapped their arms around each other and leaned into frame, looking respectably at home before a backdrop of other costumed faire-goers. Paula showed them all the end result before turning it back to herself and grinning at the image. "Perfect."

First on the listed activities was the archery contest. Heather rarely had an occasion to utilize her champion level skills as a bowman, so this chance was too good to skip. The competitors formed a line before their targets.

"Make ye ready!" the announcer cried. "Draw! Aim! Loose!"

Heather's shot found its mark and embedded in the bullseye. Her companions clapped and whooped. 

Rebecca watched her nock the following arrow and line it up for release. "She's got a whole Keira Knightley in Princess of Thieves look going for her today."

The second arrowhead pierced a hair's breadth from the first.

"I think it's kinda doing it for me."

Valencia nodded. Her eyelids crinkled at the corners while she regarded Rebecca with curiosity. "Are you having some sort of Renaissance awakening?" 

"TBD. Check back in with me later. Kinsey scale rating may need an update."

Heather’s final arrow was dead center. The announcer declared her the winner and the visitors from West Covina alarmed everyone nearby with the shouts that erupted from them. They surged forward to embrace and congratulate her. Heather awkwardly allowed herself to be jostled by her circle of friends. She exuded discomfort but, when they all formed a group hug, she did not squirm away. 

After that landslide victory, next up was a demonstration with a trebuchet. The impressively tall apparatus cut through the air and launched pumpkins at a makeshift castle wall. Tommy was ecstatic. He fished out his phone to record a video. "Brendan would love this. I've gotta send it to him."

At the mention of her eldest son, Paula's lower lip protruded sympathetically. "Do you miss your big brother knight, squire?"

Tommy tried to feign indifference, but the shift of his shoulders couldn't hide the expression that flickered across his face. "A little, I guess."

"Aww, pumpkin," Paula cooed. She hooked him toward her with one arm and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Me, too."

"Hey, careful with the mom smooches," Tommy cautioned. "Girls might not talk to me if they see I've already got a lipstick mark on my face."

Paula licked her finger and wiped off the traces. The boy allowed the assistance with resignation. "Okay, yeah, I did sorta set myself up for that one," Tommy muttered. 

Somewhere in the crowd, a recognizable voice caught their attention. 

"Just a minute, Amari. It's Agila's turn. Baba can't hold both of you on his shoulders at the same time. Somebody might fall... most likely me."

Paula stood on tiptoe and waved. "Sunil! Sunil, over here!"

Rebecca heard the name and slumped. "Great. This guy."

Sunil wove his way toward them, holding one of his daughters’ hands on each side. "Why, hello! Fancy meeting you here!"

He drew up short when he spotted Rebecca. "Bunch."

Rebecca arched her eyebrows. "Odhav."

"So, how are you liking the RenFaire so far?" Paula asked, interrupting the showdown.

"We're having a blast. The girls rode the giant unicorn. They said it would've been better if it were a pegasus but, hey, next best thing, right? We've caught three shows already. Really resurrects the old acting bug. And I'm still on a shopper's hunt for a crystal chalice with a palace. As we all know, it 'holds the brew that is true,' and I could really use the pick-me-up after four hours of bickering toddlers." Sunil chuckled at his own humor. Paula weakly attempted to do the same, lost.

Rebecca snapped to attention at the reference. Unable to help herself, she interjected, "Yeah, those can be pretty fragile. You might be better off getting a vessel with a pestle."

Surprised, but pleasantly so, Sunil's expression warmed. "You've seen The Court Jester."

"Oh my gosh, yes!" Rebecca's eyes went comically wide with fervor. "I've been talking about it all day. I must've watched that at least twenty times as a kid."

"How could you not? It's a classic."

Sunil gleefully launched into another quote. "'What are you loo-loo-looing about?’”

Rebecca was ready with the rejoinder. "'Oh, I'm not loo-loo-looing, sire, I'm willow-willow-wailing.'"

Sunil responded with a kingly wave of dismissal. "'All right, all right. Willow away, willow away.'"

They cackled.  

"Dear God," Paula murmured, but she was visibly grateful her usually adversarial friends were getting along.

"There are two of them," Valencia joked affectionately.

Sunil rubbed his hands together. "Listen, we were about to track down that lesson on how to do a courtly dance. Would all of you like to join us?"

This proposal was met with general agreement (although Heather required a little additional convincing to accept the prospect of participation). They reached the designated area just as instructions began. Most of the dance took part in a large group but, for the small section where those involved were expected to break off into pairs, they planned ahead for who would dance with whom. The combinations ultimately turned out to be Paula and Scott, Heather and Valencia, Tommy with both Amari and Agila, and - in a truce that would've been inconceivable prior to that instant - Rebecca and Sunil. 

As all the gathered dancers moved in a great circle, Rebecca took the opportunity to look at each of her loved ones in turn. The chances to enjoy hours with everyone like this sometimes proved rare and difficult to orchestrate, but shared moments of laughter and fun such as these made it infinitely worth the effort.

She turned to Heather on her left and gave the other woman's hand a teasing squeeze. "Having a good time after all?"

"I'll live," Heather answered simply, but Rebecca knew her well enough to detect the truth beneath her nonchalance. "What about you? You've been sending us a pre-trip countdown for, like, a full month leading up to this. Is it holding up to the hype?"

"Hundo P," Rebecca replied. "Ugh, it works when Maya says it but I think there might be too much of a generational divide for me to pull that off. In other news, I might be bi?"

Heather's laugh huffed out on an exhale. "Congrats on figuring that out. Welcome to the club. Darryl will make you a t-shirt."

"Thanks. I'm gonna need your out-and-proud advice later to sift through this brand new information, but it feels like I'm onto something."

"Anytime." 

"So, calendar date notwithstanding, has this been a good birthday?" Rebecca asked hopefully.  

Heather's lips twitched. "I'd let you talk me into it again."

In time with the music, Rebecca twirled in a circle and her friends all blurred together in her vision. A soft smile spread across her face. She thought she could safely declare this day a win.

[the-lost-templar-daughter]

I was tagged by @petitebisexuelle ! Thank you!! ❤️

Get to know me!

NAME: Nicole

NICKNAMES: Nickie

ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer

HEIGHT: 4’11”

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: English

NATIONALITY: American

FAVORITE SEASON: Hmm. This is tough. Honestly, I’d have to say Summer because I like to swim, I love the beach when I get to vacation, and it’s when my renfaire season is. But I also love all the seasons.

FAVORITE FLOWER: Roses if I had to pick.

FAVORITE BOOK: I honestly don’t read a lot. But I loved the Vampire Academy series.

FAVORITE SCENT: Vanilla, coconut, flowers, sea air, cinnamon almonds (because of renfaire lol).

FAVORITE COLOR: To be honest, I love too many.

FAVORITE ANIMAL: Dogs, horses, hedgehogs, possums, raccoons, goats. This really isn’t a fair question.

FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER: God dammit...hmm...Geralt of Rivia, Connor Kenway and Arthur Morgan.

COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Hot chocolate

AVERAGE SLEEP HOURS: Six to eight hours

DOG OR CAT PERSON: Dogs

NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH: It depends. Generally just a sheet and thick comforter though.

DREAM TRIP: Europe. Holy crap. Specifically Italy, the UK and France.

BLOG ESTABLISHED: I can barely remember last week let alone this...

RANDOM FACT: I’m a photographer! Check out my site for my work! https://nickiemenchio.wixsite.com/photography

People I’m tagging: @jesse-james-is-my-dad @the-neigh-sayer @the-winter-witcher

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

The  Great Peanut Butter Controversy of the Second Grade Summer

Virginia rolled over in her bed, poised to jump out when she saw Anjali sleeping on a mat by the bookshelf.

Dr. Rao must have been paged to come in again, she thought and started moving as quietly as possible.  The last time she woke Anjali too early, her best friend was grumpy all day and even refused to play in Beediebump.

Because she wanted to be quiet, she pulled out a blue sundress and slipped it on quickly.  She decided that it would be okay to skip brushing her hair, too, and just clipped it in a barrette.

She moved slowly through the silent house.  She peeked into her parents’ room.  Her dad’s side of the bed was empty, and her mother’s head made a dark contrast to the white sheet.  Stepping even more carefully, she passed her noisy brother’s silent room.  He almost looked cute, clutching the Winnie the Pooh.

Happily, she lifted a kitchen chair carefully and moved it to the counter where Mom stored the bread. She felt like she was already grown up – getting the last of the bread to make her own breakfast of cheese melted on toast with a tart green apple. With even more care, as the stairs could be noisy, she went to the basement where they kept the good TV and called up a science program about rats and how people think.  The rats had electrodes in their brains and the thought gave her a delightfully icky shiver.

The announcer had just started talking about different things that happened when the electrodes were placed in different parts of the rats’ brains when she heard noisy little feet overhead followed by the heavier sound of an adult running.

“Trey, don’t you dare climb up on the counter!” Virginia’s mother shouted.  The sound of a chair falling in the kitchen without the large thump of a person falling told Virginia that her mother had caught her little brother before he’d gotten up to the cupboard where there was a package of Oreos.

Virginia winced.  She knew she should have replaced the chair. She also wished her brother were stealthier.  If he were, she could help herself to cookies and blame it on him.  But if she snuck any, Mom would notice the cookie count had gone down and no-one would believe it was Trey.

She turned off the TV, came upstairs where her mother poured cereal for her little brother and Anjali. “Did you want some breakfast, Punkin’?”

“I already ate,” Virginia said.

“Did you leave your plate downstairs?” her mother asked.

Virginia made a face and went back to the family room to retrieve the plate.  “Can we watch-“

“Nope,” Mom interrupted. “Outside.  Behave yourselves and I’ll have a surprise at lunch.”

Virginia and Anjali caught each other’s eyes and then they both glared at Trey.  Virginia said, “That means you can’t throw my Frisbee on the roof.”

“You can’t keep me out of Beediebump, either,” Trey said.

Virginia took a breath to reply, when Mom sighed.  “Squabbling counts as not behaving.  Trey, don’t lose your sister’s stuff.  Virginia, he’s allowed in Beediebump, same as you.  And Virginia, you and Anjali are not to get your brother spun up.  Clear?”

“But what if he’s-“

“No instigating!” Mom said.

“What does instigate mean?” Anjali asked.  Mom liked using big words.  The kids were always free to ask for a definition.

“Being mean in sneaky ways so that someone loses their temper and retaliates.  Don’t look at me like that.  I’ve seen you both doing it.  Now, outside, all three of you, before I sell you to a Renfaire.”

Virginia considered that she’d actually like to spend all of her time dressing up, but said nothing and led the way out into the back yard to Beediebump.

Beediebump was a small copse of trees at the back of their property, bordered by other people’s well-kept yards.  The trees and undergrowth made natural little private spaces where Virginia could play as if she were in her own world.  The name of the land derived from the sound of her sandal on the root as she swung in her swingset, making a beedie-bump! twanging noise.

“I have an idea,” Anjali said quietly as they went out to the swing set.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s run races with Trey around the house.”

Virginia made a face. She hated running.  “Why?”

“No, listen.  You run a race with him, but let him win by a little bit. Then I’ll run and beat him.  Then you beat him.  Then we both let him win.  We keep doing that till he’s sick of it.”

“Why?”  Virginia asked.  “I wanted to finish putting stones around the town square in Beedie Bump.”

Anjali rolled her eyes, “Because he’ll get tired and won’t bug us.”

“Okay,” Virginia agreed.

It worked, but Virginia wasn’t so sure it was worth the price.  By lunchtime she was yawning and her stomach growled. But Mom was happy with all of them.

“I loved the way you were playing so nicely with Trey today,” she said, running her hand over Virginia’s head.  “Want lunch on the patio or inside?”

“Inside.  It’s hot.”

Mom gestured the children inside and handed plates around the kitchen table, looking pleased.

Virginia made a face. “What’s this?”

“I learned how to make bread!” Mom said cheerfully.  “It’s just a peanut butter sandwich.  Taste it!”

Virginia took a bite. The bread felt all wrong on her teeth and tongue and tasted strange to her.  What was worse, the peanut butter had a grainy texture and wasn’t sweet enough. She put the sandwich down and made a face.  Looking to her brother, she noticed the same dubious expression.  

Emboldened by her hope of solidarity, Virginia burst out, “I don’t like it.”

“Virginia, that’s good homemade bread!” Mom protested.

“I like store bread better. And what’s wrong with the peanut butter?”

“Well, I made that, too,” Mom answered with a note of disappointment in her voice.  “The store-bought kind has too much sugar.”

That would explain why this awful stuff isn’t sweet enough.

Mom sighed, “I thought it would be a nice surprise, but-“

“I like it,” Trey said and took a big bite.

Virginia, indignant at her brother’s betrayal, burst out.  “Well, this is awful and I want the store bought kind!”

Mom got That Look and said nothing for a minute.  Virginia gulped but scowled directly at her.  “I won’t eat it.”

“Well, I guess you’re going to have to buy your own bread and peanut butter then,” Mom said quietly.

The three children winced. When Mom got all firm and quiet, the house could be grim for the rest of the day.  Virginia, feeling like there was nothing left to lose, burst out, “Mom, that’s silly!  I don’t have any money.”

“You can earn it,” Mom said with a grin both tight and harsh.  “I’ll even pay you for chores. But you’re going to have to eat that sandwich if you want a deal.”

“Okay,” Virginia said with defiant bravado.

Mom smiled, rooted in a drawer and pulled out a grocery bag.  “I’ll pay you a dollar every time you fill one of these bags with sweet gum balls.”

Sweet gum balls were the bane of the household.  Dropped from the various sweet gum trees around the yard, the lawn mower chewed them up and scattered them across the yard so it was ugly (which bothered Mom) and you couldn’t go barefoot because it would hurt your foot (which bothered everybody).

Virginia hated picking up the prickly things.  You spent forever bent over staring at the dry grass of summer trying to find the things. Sometimes you had to kind of dig them out of the dirt because someone had stepped on them.  

The only good thing about them was that if you got enough bags together, Dad would use them in the barbecue pit to make hamburgers, which made everyone happy, as Mom and Dad refused to buy charcoal.  

The work was boring, and she couldn’t figure out a way to make it go in any sort of logical system. She tried to get Anjali and Trey to help, but they both refused unless paid, so Virginia saw little point in that. There was no-one to talk to, nothing to read and nothing to think about but how much her back ached from leaning over and how much she hated that weird bread and peanut butter her mother made.

But she picked up three paper grocery bags full that day.

After dinner that night Dad commented with a sigh, “I guess I better go pick up sweet gum balls before I mow the lawn.”

“Virginia did that this afternoon,” Mom commented, watching Dad put his dinner plate in the dishwasher.

“What in the world did she do that you made her do that?” Dad asked.

“I didn’t make her. It was a business transaction,” Mom said.  “She didn’t want to eat homemade bread and peanut butter.  I told her if she didn’t want to eat what I made, she could buy her own.”

“Good move, Boo,” Dad said quietly and got that kissy look on his face.  Virginia left the kitchen.

After her bath that night, Virginia went into the living room where mom sat with her laptop frowning at the screen.  “What’s wrong?”

“I’m kinda stumped on what I’m going to write for my blog,” Mom said.  “Can I talk about what happened today and about our agreement?”

Mom always asked if she could put personal stuff on her blog.

“I don’t want you to,” Virginia said.  “Why do you have to write that, anyway?”

“It’s my job, kiddo. You don’t really want to go to daycare or something, do you?”

“I thought keeping Anjali was your job,” Virginia said.

Mom rubbed her eyes and sighed, “I have a lot of jobs, Punkin’.  Where’s Daddy?”

“Getting Trey into his pajamas,” Virginia said.  “Can I have a flashlight tonight?”

“If you want to, but I don’t advise reading more than a chapter if you’re going to be working tomorrow,” Mom commented.  “Are you?”

“I don’t have enough for a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter yet, do I?”

“Nope, not yet.”

“Then yes.  What can I do?”

“Lemme think about it, honey,” Mom said and kissed her.

Virginia got the flashlight out of the drawer in the sideboard, and went to her room.  Dad was just kissing all of Trey’s stuffed animals good night and pulling up the blanket.  “I’ll be in to kiss you goodnight in a sec, doll baby.”

With a satisfyingly big chapter book in her hand, Virginia climbed into bed.  Daddy came in and pulled a chair to the bedside, spinning it around and sitting on it backwards, arms folded across the chair back.  “You need to be nicer to your mother, Miss Virginia.”

“I thought you said I’m not supposed to lie,” Virginia said.  “That weird bread and homemade peanut butter was gross.”

“You need to learn to be truthful and kind at the same time.  It’s what grown-ups do.  Don’t take advantage of Mom’s good nature, understand?  If that had been my Mom…”  Dad trailed off and Virginia winced.  Grandma was awfully strict and had a temper.

Virginia nodded silently. Her father kissed her goodnight, and Virginia dove under the covers, happily reading an old story about a girl and her spy route, but deciding she had pushed it far enough for one day and closed the book after the first chapter.  

 It stopped feeling like summer to Virginia and started to feel like an endless Saturday of garden chores. Anjali didn’t come over because none of her mom’s patients had babies due, so Dr. Rao had been free to take Anjali on a quick trip to the beach.

Virginia cleared clutter away from spots on the dining room table so her mother could take pictures of summer flower arrangements for her blog.  She learned to clean a bathroom, and got sent back to finish because she’d left hairs all over the counter.  She deadheaded all the withered blooms from the petunias, got sticky all over her hands, and had to wash her hands at the hose outside before her mother would let her come in to lunch.  She watered all the flowers in pots on the patio, hefting the heavy watering can because her mother wouldn’t let her use the hose.   So she’d dragged it across a plot of Hosta and uprooted half the plants. They were just big leaves, anyway. It’s not like they were pretty flowers or anything!

At the end of the week, Virginia came to her mother and asked her if there were any more chores to do.

“You can if you want, honey, but you’ve earned plenty for what you want,” Mom said, handing her a wrinkled bill.  

Virginia had never owned so much money at one time.  The paper felt somehow like more than paper – heavy and slick.  But it felt like more than that.  It felt like possibilities and at the same time felt pitifully small in the face of all the work she had done.

“Can I think about it?” Virginia asked.

“You can always think,” Mom said.  “Thinking’s good.  But it’s time for us to go to the grocery store.  Put that in your pocket.  You’re going to need it, right?”

At the store, Trey didn’t want to sit in the shopping cart as he usually did, but insisted on going with Virginia to the bread aisle.  

“I’m not buying this for you,” Virginia said.  “You wouldn’t even help me pick up sweet gum balls.”

Trey took in a deep breath as if to shout about the unfairness of it, when Mom sighed, “Trey, she can do that if she wants to.  Come on and get in the cart.  You, Little Red Hen, can go buy your stuff.”

In the bread aisle, Virginia looked at the prices.  She wasn’t good at adding up big numbers, but finally figured out that her mother was right. She had a few cents more than a loaf of bread and a jar of their usual peanut butter would cost.

She felt the bill in her pocket and frowned, thinking about the sweet gum balls, her sticky hands and the heavy watering can.  The homemade bread?  It wasn’t that bad.  Certainly not no-play-no-fun-work-all-day bad.

She left the bread aisle and went to find her mother.  On the way to the produce section, she passed an aisle with play makeup for little girls. Her mother had always been cool to the idea of her getting any – not quite saying no, but always putting her off. Firmly, Virginia took the kit in hand and went to find her mother and brother.

“I changed my mind,” Virginia said.  “I’m getting this.”

“And what are you going to have for lunches?” Mom asked.

“I’ll eat the weird bread,” Virginia said.  “I’d rather have this.”

Mom looked more carefully at the makeup kit and winced, muttering, “You would.  Well, it’s your money, kiddo.  But that’s for dress-up.  Understand?”

Virginia agreed, full of satisfaction as she paid for the makeup kit with her own money.  At home, she carefully put the change in her ballerina jewelry box, and arranged the make-up on her dresser, feeling more grown-up than ever to have earned the money for it herself.