#reply and then that will be the end of the fucking interaction forever. WHY would this be a problem for you this isnt even personal informat

[doctorwhoisadhd]

sometimes . people have Problems being normal. And this pisses me off bad

[sunny44]

Joker

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Summary: Max and the others celebrate the end of the racing season at a club. And obviously he and Y/n will discuss.

The pulsating music filled the club, creating an upbeat atmosphere as Max, Charles, Carlos, Lando, Daniel, Pierre and Y/n celebrated the end of the racing season. The dance floor was crowded with people having fun, and the group found a quieter corner to chat and enjoy the night.

Max, always the joker of the group, couldn't resist making a tasteless joke that ended up irritating me for how inappropriate it was. I shot him a furious look and began expressing how idiotic that joke was.

"Max, you have no limits, seriously!" I complained, crossing my arms indignantly. "You have no idea how inappropriate that joke is."

Max just smiled, seemingly unconcerned with my reaction. He was used to the love-hate game they played.

"Oh, come on, sweetheart. You know I can't resist a good joke.” he said, trying to calm the situation.

"But there's a limit, you have to stop with these senseless things in public, someday someone's going to hear and not like it at all. We might understand your sense of humor but eventually..."

But before she could continue complaining, Max interrupted her with a sudden kiss. He pulled me closer, silencing any protest she might have had.

Surprised by the unexpected gesture, she was momentarily speechless. But soon she surrendered to the kiss, setting aside her initial irritation.

Meanwhile, the other members of the group watched the scene with amused smiles. Charles laughed and shook his head, accustomed to the peculiar interactions between Max and me.

"These two will never change, will they?" Carlos commented, raising his drink to toast the couple.

Lando nodded, agreeing with his friend. "That's what makes life interesting. Never a dull moment with them around."

“They say they hate each other but they can’t be apart for too long.”

“That's built-up horniness, they need to get laid.” Pierre said.

“And what made you think they haven’t yet?”

“I’m sure they already have.” Carlos says.

“I’ll ask.” Lando says waiting for them to come back.

Daniel and Pierre just smiled, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere of the night. They were happy to be there together, celebrating the end of an intense racing season.

As the kiss between Max and me continued, we gradually pulled away, smiling at each other as if we had shared a funny secret.

"You're impossible, Max.” I said, shaking my head with a mixture of exasperation and affection.

"But you love me anyway.” he replied, winking at me with a mischievous smile.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but laugh. After all, it was hard to resist Max's irresistible charm, even when he was being annoying.

“I have something to ask.” Lando says as they get close to them.

“What?” Max asked hugging her from behind.

“Have you guys fucked yet?”

“What kinda questions is that?”

“Yes.” They answer at the same time.

“You are so indiscreet.” She says.

“Oh cmon, no one is a virgin anymore.”

“But yeah, we fucked. Why you want to know?”

“Just curious.”

“Really? Or you want to participate next time?” Max asked.

“I mean, look at your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Well than you won’t mind me asking her out right?” Lando says coming to get her hand and Max pushed her back.

“Get your hands off my girlfriend.” We stated laughing.

And so, the night at the club continued, full of laughter, jokes, and memories that we would cherish forever in our hearts. After all, that's what made life exciting: the moments shared with those we love.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername Instagram stories

“We for sure know how to party”

[dumbkiri]

A FEAST FOR BIRDS 2

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝 𝐱 𝐅! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

HIGHLY REQUESTED

Y'all I know this was a blog for the Batfamily, but DAMN! Was not expecting so much enthusiasm for a second part. Thank you and I hope this one is worth the wait.

This came out rushed too. Will rewrite this part lowkey bc it doesn't satisfy me just yet.

10 pages, 3.6k words

JASON’S POV

This felt surreal. 

With the dark-tinted glasses dulling the colors around me, it showed me how much my world has been dark for so long. It showed me that I couldn’t dare to see the world in color ever again. My life’s goal, up to this point, was to get revenge on the Joker, to get revenge on my family for replacing me. 

All my anger and all my pain, I took it out on them. I couldn't forgive Bruce for sparing Joker’s life when that psychotic ass never bothered to spare me. Beaten and bruised, all I dreamed about was that crowbar hitting me over and over. 

And my last words to her; to [Name]. I wonder if she remembered our last conversation. Because in the moment of taking my last breath, I did. I remember telling her that I wouldn’t be mad at her, for whatever she needed to tell me. 

I did my best to reassure her that everything would be okay. I remember her shaky breaths and the resigned reply she gave to me over the phone. 

I guess I should have stayed to listen to her because if I did, I would have lived. Lived to raise Jay with her. 

When  [Name] walked in with heavy shoulders and a tired smile, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Never did I see those memories when Joker slammed that crowbar against my ribcage. Her [e.color] eyes are dull like my own and her happiness is clouded by her own problems. It was obvious to me, obvious to my family that she was running away. 

Then she showed off the greatest joy in her life, that shine coming back in her eyes. Who would have guessed the little boy she carried in her arms with so much love was a product of our love. A teenage love that couldn’t grow into an adult one. A love that ended with my last breath. A love that created a being for her to cherish in my memory. 

I didn’t want the dinner to end because watching them, my little family, laugh and enjoy their company filled an empty hole in my heart. Their interactions with each other overwhelmed my broken heart and I felt an emotion I haven’t truly felt in awhile; genuine joy.

I want them to stay. I want this moment to go on forever. 

“So I was hoping to do something I haven’t done in a long time.” 

[Name] spoke up after setting her fork down by her plate. She looked at Bruce specifically and asked, “Do you still host the Dance of Snow event?” 

Memories plagued my mind of her ice skating on the rink Bruce provided in his backyard. Every year in the beginning of December, Bruce would host an event for the wealthy. There was the ball aspect of it then the performance [Name] did for charity. The Dance of Snow was how I met her and how we began to fall for one another. 

Her gliding on the ice so effortlessly took my breath away. I couldn’t understand how she moved like that with grace while I fell on my ass every time I let go of the wall. We would laugh about my failures together and fuck it, I will admit I did exaggerate just to hear her laugh again. 

“Ever since the star of the show left,” Dick teased with a shrug of his shoulders, “Bruce only hosted the Winter Ball for the guests. I swear every time they would ask about you, but he would shoot them down with politeness as always.” 

“Perhaps I can surprise them then?” [Name] asked shyly then proceeded to say, “I recently started teaching Jay how to ice skate and I guess my passion for it is coming back to me. I also want Jay to see what I can do in a live performance and show how beautiful this event is.” 

Bruce agreed with ease, no need to convince him when everyone knows how much he admired her show of grace. I mean everyone did and she was the reason why the charity event succeeded so much in the first place. 

“Of course, I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you back. I can get the skating rink set up for your practice in the backyard. Would you like me to call Anthony, you two can do your famous performance as the first show.” 

[Name]’s excitement flourished at the mention of her old ice skating partner while jealousy painted itself over my body. I didn’t notice I let out an audible groan of annoyance at the mention of Anthony until everyone focused on me. 

Oh shit. 

“Lazlo and Anthony don’t get along,” Dick jumped at the first thing to say. His excuse is just as lame as the stupid fake name he gave me. 

But [Name] paid no attention to my disgruntled attitude, instead she giggled and said, “Yes, well Anthony is difficult at times. He wouldn’t be the first person to make friends with anybody. I’m surprised he actually got married! To think that my best friend, who promised he would never get married, actually put a ring on someone. I can hear Jason giving him a bunch of crap for it.” 

Dick and Bruce chuckled at her joke knowing well that I would. 

Because hell yeah I would. Anthony never believed that [Name] and I would last because he described her as gentle while I always showed up with random bruises and cuts. Little did they know, I spent my nights fighting crooks and villains. Then he went on to brag about never being in a relationship because it caused too much drama. 

Anthony turned out to be right anyways since I died. We didn’t last three years or more. I wonder if that self-centered asshole took care of her. I subconsciously clench my hands into fists thinking about another man with my family. 

“I’ll make sure to give him a call then,” Bruce smiled then dinner went by in a blur for me. Like I said, everything felt surreal. I couldn’t help, but think this was all a dream. The intrusive thoughts of revealing myself to [Name] would make everything set in for me. Her reaction, her words to me. 

Say that you missed me, to me. Not to Lazlo. 

Say that you love me, to me. Not to Lazlo. 

Know that it’s me under this disguise, not Lazlo. 

Please [Name] recognize that it’s me, so that I wouldn’t have to do it. Don’t make me take this mask off and show you that I’ve been alive all along, suffering in this dark and gloomy reality. I need you to figure it out all by yourself. 

“Jason.” 

I looked up from my untouched plate full of food and watched Bruce give me a pained look, “How are you holding up?” 

I took notice that everyone disappeared from the table, it was just Bruce and I sitting. When did everyone leave and where to? Wait, I didn’t get to say goodbye to Jay or [Name]. I was too absorbed in all the scenarios that played in my head. 

“Don’t worry they’re still around. JJ is racing Dick out in the backyard and [Name] is writing a letter,” Bruce explained and his eyes never left my own. I knew he was trying to figure out what I was feeling. I knew I had mental breakdowns here and there, this was the time for me to have one actually. 

“I felt better,” I replied honestly, “did you…did you take care of them as best as you could?” Bruce was a questionable parental figure, but he couldn’t have let [Name] walk away like that. She must have told Bruce about her pregnancy and he would have supported her. 

Please tell me you did, old man.

“As much as she allowed me to, yes. [Name] did fairly well in raising Jay and it was only very recent when she cut off ties with us. Now she’s back and we need to know what happened to her.”

“She mentioned an arranged marriage with some business partner, know anything about that?” 

Bruce shook his head dejectedly, “No, but I do know her mother has been trying to find a suitor for [Name] for years. It’s all some of the older women gossip in Gotham about. Some have tried to offer their own son’s hand to her. But [Name] is stubborn to a fault. She has told me many times that you still hold her heart.” 

Bruce gently smiled at this revelation like it was going to ease my worries and insecurities away. But it didn’t. 

“Why?” I asked selfishly, “Why hasn’t she forgotten about me? You all did. Replaced me without a single care in the world. Dumped the memory of me like I never mattered in the first place. So excuse me if I question the integrity of her…fuck, this isn’t…stop giving me that look.” 

I faltered at the sad look on Bruce’s face. My harsh words disappeared like a drop of blood in water. 

“She loves you, Jason. Five years have passed and all she can think about is you. All she does is remember you. She remembers the [color] flowers you would throw at her feet when she finished a performance. She would talk about the books you��d gushed about. There’s also a show she recently started watching that she thinks you’d like. It’s just what [Name] does in order to keep you alive. She does it on her own, but there’s Jay to remind her too when she hits her lowest.” 

I shook my head and fought back, “It’s impossible. I-I didn’t even remember her when I came back. All I remember was the pain and the revenge I wanted to take. Now…now she’s here with him? That boy is supposed to be mine? I can’t believe that, that’s not what I expected when I told you I would come back to this family on my own terms.”

“The Lazarus Pit has effects, you don’t need to feel ashamed for not remembering her. I don’t blame you for only thinking about revenge. What you went through-”

I stood up from the table, my food cold and unappealing in this heated moment, “He’s so small and she’s- Damn it, she’s still the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. I cannot afford to be distracted, not when my team and I are close to taking down Black Mask. I cannot go back to being the guy she loved. I’m no longer him.” 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re dead then,” A voice so irritating spoke up, it sent me scowling at him behind my glasses and mask. 

Damian plopped a plate of cookies on the table and took his seat. He looked at me with boredom in his bright green eyes and asked, “What?”

“You need to watch your words, Damian,” Bruce shook his head in disappointment at his youngest son. 

“You heard him as well as I did,” Damian picked up a cookie and broke it in half, “He’s no longer the guy [Name] loved. He’s Red Hood now, a vigilante fighting villains. He can’t be a father or a lover. So it’s a good thing Jason Todd is dead because he’s not him.”

Before I could respond, [Name] spoke up as she walked into the dining room. 

“Alright, I put my little gremlin to sleep and I feel sleep catching up to me.” She stretched her body and let out a small yawn. Her exhaustion looked to be catching up to her after days of traveling. 

Bruce stood up and told her, “You can stay the night if you’d like. There are plenty of rooms to sleep in and I’m sure Alfred would love to prepare a room for you.” 

[Name] waved Bruce off with a smile, “Thank you, but I need to get to work on the house. I promised Jay I would renovate as quickly as I can so he can come home. Not that he doesn’t like to spend time with his family.” 

She shot quickly hoping she didn’t offend Bruce or Damian. The demon spawn went back to eating his cookies while Bruce said, “Don’t worry, we know Jay loves spending time with us. Do you need help with anything? I can arrange some help. I’m sure Dick wouldn’t mind helping you out either.” 

“I got this handled, Bruce,” [Name] walked over to Bruce and she passed me like ships in the night. Her perfume wafted my way and lingered in my space, slowly seeping through the face mask. She started wearing perfume more mature like instead of the usual peachy flower scent. 

I turned around and saw her embrace Bruce with a small ‘thank you’ and the old man hugged her tightly. I knew Bruce towered over the average woman, but she really was small in his arms. Like a father holding his daughter. 

Then she walked over to Damian snacking on the cookies. She pinched his cheek and pulled it roughly, ‘Don’t teach Jay such obscene words next time, Dami’. Damian choked on his cookie for a bit before he rolled his eyes muttering a wack apology. I’m so gonna kick his ass when she leaves. 

[Name] embraced Damian in a hug and the boy begrudgingly accepted it. Then his green eyes landed on me, watching them carefully. The brat stuck his tongue out at me, hugging [Name] back while I subtly gave him the finger. I hate that kid. 

“Lazlo, it’s time to go,” Dick walked in the dining room with his jacket on and a dark blue scarf around his neck. Right, we had patrol for this night. “[Name], make sure to lock your doors and check every window. There have been reports of burglary in this area.”

“I may be fragile looking on ice, but I can defend myself pretty well, on land” [Name] happily smiled at Dick, fake throwing a punch on Damian’s shoulder. “Anyways, I really gotta go before I pass out behind the wheel. I love you all  and I’ll see you guys tomorrow. It was nice meeting you, Lazlo! I hope to see you some other time!” 

She looked at me with a pretty smile and soft giggle, fishing her car keys out of her pocket. I waved back at her silently and watched her leave the house with Alfred accompanying her. When I heard the front door shut, I looked at my brothers and my old man saying, “This shit sucks.” 

……

Jay woke up to the sound of shuffling in the room next to him. It sounded like someone was busy searching for something. Looking at his clock on his nightstand, Jay was not happy to be woken up at 3 am. Then fear seeped into his body. 

His grandma always told him that ghouls and monsters come out at 3 am looking for souls to take. Maybe this monster was looking for his soul! Jay scrambled off his bed and quietly ran over to his toy crate. He opened it slowly and saw his plastic red bat ready to be used. 

Jay would have to beat up this monster if he wants to keep his soul!

The little boy then walked over to his open bedroom door, thanking his mom silently for leaving his night light on in the hallway. It helped him to see that the monster was in his dad’s old room. Sneaking down the carpet hallway with his bat raised high, Jay urged his heart to calm down. He was afraid that the monster would be able to hear it beat so loudly. 

Taking a deep breath in, the little boy forced himself to peek inside the room. There was only one light on in his dad’s room and it was the lamp on his desk. Then he spotted the monster at that desk reading letters. Jay recognized those letters that were written by his mom. 

Hey! Those were letters for his dad! Not this monster!

Jay’s eyebrows furrowed in anger and the little boy sneaked into the room ready to whack the monster back to where it came from. But when he lifted his bat high in the air, he heard the monster sniffle…like it was crying. 

Confusion clouded Jay’s motive to beat up the monster and his eyes glanced at the mirror showing off the monster’s face. The monster looked like it was human and it had a large scar going from his cheekbone to his jaw. 

When the monster wiped his eyes, they opened up to reveal familiar blue eyes. Jay faltered as he knew what they reminded him of. He looked over at a picture frame with his mom and dad as teenagers holding each other after she won a championship at her skating tournament. 

The bat fell from his tiny grasp and the sound startled the monster…no, man. Jay watched the man stand up and whip around with tears falling down his face. 

Black hair and blue eyes. He looked older, but this was for sure his dad. No doubt. 

“Daddy?” Jay asked, his own tears blurring his vision. Next thing the kid knew was that he moved on autopilot. He jumped at the man and wrapped his arms around his dad’s legs clutching onto them tightly. He started bawling his eyes out as this was his dream. To get to meet his dad. 

…

“Jason, did you find the let-” Dick walked into Jason’s old room and stopped short. His eyes landed on Jason looking at him with wide, teary eyes. But that’s not what took the cake for him. 

It was the little boy holding onto Jason’s leg and crying into the dirty jeans. Dick wanted to let Jay down easy, by making something up like this had been a dream. But the glare Jason sent him from across the room stilled the older Wayne ward. Despite Jason’s red eyes from crying, Dick understood the threat in his deadly glare. 

Shut your damn mouth, Dickwad.

Quietly, Jason set the letter down with a picture of Jay as a newborn down on the desk. He wiped his eyes then pulled his leg away from Jay by crouching down in front of the crying boy. He didn’t know what to say, but the words slipped from his mouth so easily, 

“Hey, kid, you’re getting boogers all over my clothes.” 

Jason chuckled and watched Jay wipe his nose with the sleeve of his pajama shirt. A little giggle came from the boy and he gave Jason a timid ‘sorry’. They stared at one another with smiles on their faces, enjoying each other’s presence. 

“You have your mother’s smile, you know that?” 

The fake stars on Jason’s ceiling twinkled in the slight darkness of the room, not as bright as the kid’s smile that reminded him so much of [Name]. Her words written in the letter came back to him as he gathered the courage to hug Jay as himself, not as Lazlo. 

Jay melted in his dad’s hug and he wrapped his arms around his neck, saying, “It’s nice to meet you too, daddy.”

…

Dear Jason, 

Today I have had the pleasure of welcoming our bundle of joy into the world. His name is Jay [L.Name] and he is super adorable. He came out with a tuft of black hair, similar to yours. He came pretty fast and easy for it being my first every birth. Probably my last too. 

Anyways, Bruce and Dick have been such a great help. They helped a lot along with my father and they cannot wait to meet Jay. Actually, the picture is of Dick holding Jay and oh boy! I didn’t think holding Jay would make him cry like it did me. 

Do you think Bruce would cry too? I guess we’ll have to see and of course, I will give you the details :)

I’m not going to lie to you, this is my fifth time trying to write this letter to you. I guess knowing that you’ll never get to meet Jay brings sadness to me. I didn’t get the chance to tell you either and I know you said you wouldn’t be mad at me when I told you. 

But something tells me that you would have been better off knowing about him before you died. So as an apology, I named our boy after you and I’m sure the nickname JJ wil stick with his family. I’m already smiling at his future which will be surrounded by your brother and father.

Bruce has taken your death pretty badly. Yet he does his best to keep an eye on me and now he will do the same for Jay. I can see him trying to make up for your passing and I don’t know how to ease his pain. I hope someday we will cross the bridge together. 

I’m also grateful that Dick was present for the birth of Jay, I really needed someone by my side. Needless to say, we both cried tears of joy together when Jay came. I think I will tease Dick about this for the rest of his life. 

Oh, I provided the picture I mentioned earlier so you can see Jay for the first time. I swear he will grow up to look like you. I’m glad he got your good looks to be honest. All the girls will fall for him like I did for you. Which I’m not looking forward to. I just hope he doesn’t get his charisma from Dick. 

Unfortunately, this is the end of the letter. I fear that Dick might cry a tsunami over JJ if I don’t retrieve our babe. I miss you, jaybird. 

Forever Yours,  [Name]. 

......

TAGGED

@makanirock05 @accountforreading123 @itsmonicabc @huntressofartemis3 @kathybernice

[melobin]

hello !!

so it’s been brought o my attention that over the past few weeks an account has practically been spreading hate about @01zfan without directly tagging her. i’ll post the screenshots with the dates the posts were posted underneath the read more.

i understand that people may look at me and accuse me of being an ot6, just like they have before and at this point im not bothered? i know im an ot7 and the people i care about do. i got into riize just before they debuted and i’ve always loved and supported seunghan, but i’ll support my friends more if they’re being unfairly attacked over him.

at the end of the day we all want the same thing for seunghan and spreading hate about people and calling them “closeted ot6’s” isn’t going to get shit. ninona has explained on countless occasions why she doesn’t write for seunghan and i respect her for it, i understand it. she’s never spoke badly about him nor has wished for him to not return. whilst this is something we would have wanted to speak to the blog about, their asks and their replies are turned off and it only makes me think they don’t want to deal with the consequences of what they’re doing. it’s a shame i care more about the well being of a friend than the cowardliness of a blog actively posting hate about them.

@ohmark dawg this isn’t the way to go about getting seunghan back and you know it. you’re unnecessarily spreading hate about blogs who have never spoke ill of seugnhan, you’re “closeted ot6” theory seems more like paranoia that people don’t like him when they have stated they do. we would have left you be if you simply posted hating on sm and wishing for his return but instead you dedicated your blog to spreading hate about other blogs and that’s not something i’ll ever be able to stand for.

please continue under the read more. i love you all forever and i appreciate you taking the time to read this. please don’t send anyone hate over this, i just feel as if people need to be aware of what’s going on and the hate that’s being spread.

8th august

personally, from the opinion of a ot7 riize writer, i literally see nothing wrong with this. even i struggle with headcanoning seunghan. in another ask ohmark stated that they don’t understand that mentality because it’s fanfiction and you cannot portray them in an accurate light but what they fail to understand is that what we write, when we write for these idols we base it off of their personalities, something we’re slowly seeing more of from riize overtime. something we didn’t get a lot of with seunghan. i’ll be the first to admit it’s miles easier to write for the other members because i feel as if i know more about them. it’s not about knowing them personally, it’s simply just about knowing things about them and we don’t know half as much about seunghan as we do for the other members.

even now she gets asks asking why she doesn’t write for him, she’s gotten countless hate asks that she’s deleted wishing death upon her, insulting her writing and being racist towards her.

this ask was sent just a few hours before ohmark had posted a screenshot of her reasoning for not writing for seunghan. what’s the need? even if she did state she didn’t like seunghan, why spread so much hate? if you dislike something so much, just block the person it’s not difficult at all. nothing about this is okay at all, it never has been and it never will be. i think it’s utterly fucking disgusting if you ask me!

last night they posted this, most likely due to the instagram upload that was posted by instagram. it’s upsetting seeing him being left out of their milestones but this? this isn’t it.

20th august

they could have either not added the @ 01zfan. the post would have been find without it, i would’ve respected it and if it came up on my dash i would have interacted with it. but they had to ruin it by being unnecessarily hateful toward two individuals who has nothing to do with seunghan’s hiatus or his return.

bonus !! not to mention people who active follow and reblog ninona’s things are also reblogging hate posts about her which is insane to me … you’re either against her for choosing not to write for seugnhan or you like her … reblogging a fic and following ninona yet reblogging hate about her is crazy.

[strangenewwords]

20 Questions for (Fanfiction) Writers

Thank you to @talshiargirlfriend for tagging me! I am also going to make myself answer this. Let’s go!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

55, oh what a pleasant number

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

342,074. Okay. Huh.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

if you wanna have some fun - the boys, butchie

corrode my soul - x-men, scogan

go and get your hands dirty - x-men, scogan

going all or nothing - Star Trek, Spirk

Get down with me - the boys, butchie

4. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Trek - mostly AOS and mostly Mckirk, but I want to branch out more into other ships and other verses. X-men, The Boys, Father Brown (yeah Buddy), I’d like to pick up Psych, Hawaii 50, and burn notice some day.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! But it’s hard. And I’m behind. I really like that interaction, nothing means more to me, but I have to be in the PERFECT headspace to do so, and well that’s fleeting. So if it takes me two years to reply to your comment, know I know they’re there and they are like the best thing in the world

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh that’s rough. Umm…oh! Ha. I forgot I wrote this?? Forever and more.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

man I’m such a sap. This current mckirk that’s not done yet.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I’ve had some weird bickering on one fic. But not at me. (Again, yet)

9. Do you write smut?

So it took me a while to not feel like a horrible human for the fact that I do indeed write smut. I write a lot of smut. In fact, the best part of my writing is the smut. It’s the other bits I struggle with. Kudos to the person that said they liked my arguments today. It’s nice to know there’s something good OUTSIDE the smut.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I’ve done one. I have another in the works and one as an idea! (Butcher needs to meet AOS Jim Kirk. Or maybe the other way around).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Omg why would someone even WANT to.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Lol. Nooooo.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Omg YES. my writing partner in crime is @ncc1701ohno and we’ve written a lot together! We have like a whole universe thing that we’ve yet to publish too!! Also I really need to get stepping on completing a fic with @twinkboimler

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

ROLO? But I mean. Wolverine is a character I’ve been writing for well over twenty years (often in rp) so right now I’d say scogan for sure.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There’s a giant fucking pile.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut. Rhythm. Dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue tags. Rushing to the end of the story. Being too stark sometimes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I mean if I could I would. I’ve used Vulcan before.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Strange new worlds, I think.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

so I thought I’d have a hard time answering this but my brain went TAPPED OUT almost immediately. So I guess that one.

I wanna hear more from @ncc1701ohno @twinkboimler @affixjoy @stormxpadme @majormiles

[power-chords]

Some Miami Vice Thots*:

Big Screen, I Notice More Stuff: That club is called MANSION. Linkin Park (from Agoura Hills, or what seems to me to be the Westchester, NY of the San Fernando Valley — Californians please correct me if I'm wrong), mashed up with Jay-Z (a Black billionaire from the mean streets of Bed-Stuy, the New New Gatsby/Big Joe Turner). Relevant to bullet point immediately below.

According to Michael Mann Miami in the mid-aughts is Age of Discovery (Digital Edition) meets Crime Family Feudalism in recursive recurrence, multiple timelines and identities inhabiting the same geographic vectors (everyone is always forever in motion). The very first interaction Sonny has with someone who is not a team member is a bartender who says she is from Lisboa, to which Sonny replies, "But you got your tan in Miami." This is what I read: She's the "reformed" Portuguese equivalent of the character in this Butch Walker song. She came from money, she lost it perhaps, but she's been since... repossessed? There's a more sinister interpretation under the surface, since she is under the roof of a powerful (and possibly related) employer whose business operations require unwavering loyalty + utmost discretion in exchange for protection (which in this case is also exploitation). Tan, in other words, as a form of Midas touch. Sacrifice to a sun(/SON!!!) god (or is Sonny more of a defecting Samson figure, speaking to an inert "Neon" Delilah who will only feign at seduction/betrayal, moving through the moves?). So already these two characters are speaking in code to each other, which is an amazing storytelling device on Mann's behalf, and you can shake so much out of that.

Derived from the above: "My Mommy and Daddy know me," hilarious line btw, becomes double-doublespeak, quadruple-speak! Not only is he pretending to tell the truth under a fabricated fundamental, the statement itself is yet another subtextual lie. His parents don't really know him, they just thought they did, which is why he's run off to become what he's become. Rico is the partner who acts out of duty first, love secondarily; Sonny is the Byronic inverse. Diaspora southern gothic. I like to think this is the mythic re-interpretation/inspiration Mann wishes a certain American population would draw from, in lieu of... current political/pop cultural figureheads.

Gina tenderly comforting the injured Zito... this shot is seconds long and yet captures my heart every time! Where is the backstory fic for these two!

Once again, the Rico/Trudy sex scene is a definite contender for the most affectionate, respectful, and sensual one in Hollywood history

Oh, Isabella. My girl Isabella. I overheard someone in the lobby call this film "such a guy movie." I don't know what drugs these people are on. Especially when counterpart to the hypermasculine satirical camp is the sensitivity and sympathy with which Mann portrays the situation of women, how we are exploited either way/anyway, deprived of romantic trust/human partnership by being put at risk by men and also by them denied the agency of taking risks for ourselves. There's both heartbreak and hypocrisy in how she attacks Sonny at the end, screaming "Who are you!" (The audience's heartbreak is: We have an instinctive uneasy sense of the systems that force her, and the rest of us, to live as hypocrites. Who are any of us, anymore, really!)

I was like MICHAEL DO THE GARMENTO CRIME DRAMA W/ ME and he was like "I made Miami Vice already, dummy! Pay attention!" Me: "OK!!!" [Pays a visit to Auerbach's Keller in Grand Central Terminal and then stays up until 5 AM playtesting West Village: Walpurgisnacht/watching the Chicago & Miami Postmodern Pseudepigrapha about Non-Recourse Factoring]

The "color coding" in this film is bonkers. More on that eventually, I'm still chewing on it.

The duality of Man(n)ager: the tragic pathos imbued to Alonzo vs. the vaudevillian coercion of Nicholas. "Why is this happening to me?!" cracks me the fuck up. This most powerful, literally biblical quandary of them all, the whole of Mann's filmography boiled down to its most singular and direct (I.E., truthful) expression, in the form of a persecuted exclamation, and it's played for laughs. Because what can you do except laugh! It's Job(/lowercase job) as circus performance, as a cabaret act. Job's poetry parodied into factional slogans and Shandyan-American dick jokes. I can't believe people think this is a stupid movie, it's pretending to be stupid!!!

*The appropriate spelling for this film in particular

[its-all-papaya]

just read your fic! Incredibleeeee. Curious about all of Oscar’s sisters reaction to them dating in the future/their interactions with lando going forward. I know we saw a little bit about the orchestration of it all from them at the end but need the details!! 🥰 are they amazed Oscar landed lando… do they become more obsessed with lando with time… is Oscar absolutely crying melting watching lando directly interact with them all

the nutcracker suite

asks that allow me to expand on my universe... my beloved....

so yeah, oscar's sisters absolutely cannot believe that gorgeous, talented, delightful lando is into their idiot brother. however hattie got the information out of oscar originally about his crush, i'm sure it took like 50 replies from him before she actually believed that he and lando had a real thing going. because why would someone like lando be into oscar like bffr.

(also this is an opportunity for me to admit that when i was writing the last scene, i started it with the idea that oscar didn't know what was about to happen. like he was just DONE being in a lobby of 100 screaming kids and was like 'i'm gonna wait outside' and hattie was like 'actually... go wait around back... 😈')

anyway, moving forward, they would obviously stay obsessed with lando. hattie and him already have a special little mentorship bond thing going, and i imagine he'd continue to be a source for her when she's stressed/insecure/wants advice with something. and then you know edie is yapping until her lungs die about him to all her classmates. like 'lando was at my apartment last night 😌' 'did you guys know lando's favorite food is chicken?' and picking up his dance quirks - like whatever stretches he does before technique - and hoping that someone will ask why she's doing it so she can be like 'oh am i? lando does it, must have just accidentally started bc i'm around him so often 😌.' like she loves her brother but also she WILL be using this for clout, thx.

in my silly brain, lando starts helping daniel on the side with like private lessons and subbing in for classes and stuff, so he'd be around the academy floor a bit more in general. and of course he'd have a soft spot for his bf's sisters, so imagining him hanging around with them chatting before/after their classes is heartwarming to me.

as for oscar, i think it's less melting and more just divine gratitude that lando fits so magically well in his life. like when he has lando over to hang out while his mum works, and his sisters keep fucking asking lando questions about ballet and begging him to play games with them or show them things when oscar just wants his OWN BOYFRIEND to himself, thanks.... annoyed. but also, deeply, he feels rlly rlly lucky that the person he's in love with gets along so so well with his family too.

imagining edie being herself and oscar like 'stop using lando to impress your friends, he's not here for you to gawk at, he's going to stop coming over!' while lando over his shoulder is like 'edie tell elise that i'll take you and your sisters backstage at the company show this spring' bc like. he's an ally, c'mon. he was ten once.

basically cute family feel all around forever, yeah.

[ghost-proofbaby]

fic authors self rec game

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞

thank you so so much for the tag @thecreelhouse <3

the shire is burning (eddie munson x oc) - ao3 linked

shire will always, always, always have a very near and dear space in my heart. it is the proudest i have ever been of any fanfic i've ever written, and one of my only works i can consistently reread and admit to myself that i wholeheartedly enjoy. it's not perfect, it's not everyone's cup of tea due to being an OC fic, but it's my baby. i sat down in a booth at denny's one night in 2022, said i wanted to write an eddie munson fanfiction, and did it. i think it's my best work for capturing canon eddie, and any time i reread any bit of it, i just get the warm fuzzies all over. there are so many wonderful memories attached to it (from writing it, to experiences it led me to), and it brought me so many friends in this fandom that i love very dearly. i just love it, and even if i have to drag myself across the finish line, i will be finishing the sequel/fix it fic for willow and eddie. their love story is one i'll probably get to carry with me forever, which is pretty fucking neat, all things considered. <3

2. the moon will sing (astarion ancunin x oc) - ao3 linked/tumblr here

the moon will sing (i loved you like a sun) is still a fic currently in progress, but i really enjoy the concept, and i'm really excited to see where i take it! just like shire was my ultimate love letter to eddie munson, this fic is my ultimate love letter to astarion <3 it's got just as many, if not more, moving parts and i like the challenge it presents to me as a writer. i've always been the type to know every single experience my characters go through (both borrowed loves and original characters), and having to write a character with a strange sort of amnesia has presented a wonderful stretch for muscles i didn't use previously. it's also been really interesting writing astarion, because as a character, he's pretty different from eddie (who is my easiest character to write due to practice). he's canonically a wild card, a whole bundle of contradictions, and i constantly find myself making notes along the way in these drafts to overexplain and remind myself of his motives. i just really love it. i just really love him <3

3. house song (eddie munson x fem!reader)

this is from my 1k celebration, and it's definitely one that didn't get much attention. and probably for good reason. it has little to no dialogue, it has little to no actual interaction between eddie and reader. at the end of the day, it's long form poetry at best, and a nuisance of an elongated metaphor at worst. but i am really proud of it still. i had an entire version of eddie set up in my head, an entire reader with her own backstory, and whenever i reread it, i think that really shines through. it was a quiet softness about the boy we all still continue to love, even two years later, and i think it even perfectly shows why i still love him as the years pass. just a love note, rather than a full love letter.

people (fictional and real) don't always make good homes, but i think eddie munson might just be the exception. and that's why i stick around.

4. sweet like honey (steve harrington x fem!reader)

now for one from my 3k celebration! and i don't think this list would be complete without some sort of smut. i once had this fic quoted back to me from a friend (who i fucking adore with all my heart), and i didn't even recognize it as my own. it's no love letter to steve harrington (that one is in the works, trust me), but it's fun, and it hits all the right spots for me. i like steve harrington putting up a cocky bastard exterior only to be cracked wide open to find all that softness inside. this fic doesn't quite crack him open, but it definitely showcases that image of 'king steve' that i think we all enjoy fantasizing about a lot <3

this last one is hard. very, very hard. i have three fics that still come to mind that i'd love to put on this list, because in a strange turn of events, being in this fandom has taught me to love my writing far more than any fandom before. it's taught me my words are worth something. not in a money way, but in a 'i have something to say, a story to tell, that is worth yelling to the void - regardless of how many people will listen' way. and i've just been lucky so many of you have been willing to listen.

i'm giving honorable mentions right now to twenty four hours (because how could i not? for all the hell it gave me writing wise, i still like it, ya know?) and kissing lessons. the latter didn't make the list solely because i'm so new to writing robin, and it was a really tough subject matter for me despite being such a sweet fic. it's hard sometimes to love what you make out of a bad thing, even if the end product is something far more beautiful and healing than the reality of it all.

anyways, enough yapping.

5. who could stay? (you could stay.) - eddie munson x reader

this was one of the scariest fics to ever post. it was a request, and it was something i knew all too well, and it was putting a lot of myself into a reader. most of my fics that are this personal/include so much of myself never leave the google drive (and i have a few). half the time as i wrote it, it felt like just another diary entry. the other half, it felt like i was making some momentous mistake and shouldn't project so much of myself onto someone's request. but you know what happened? instead, all of you who have read it and showed it any love cradled it carefully in your hands and said "i see you" or "i am you", and reminded me it's alright. sometimes experiences are unique, sometimes experiences are factory-born. either way, posting this fic taught me i'm not always alone. and sometimes that isn't a great feeling (we all want to feel special, right?), but sometimes... it's a nice feeling. a giant group hug over the internet. i've definitely written similar fics in the same vein as this one since, and i don't know if i'll ever post them, but it proved to me that if i do choose to post them - it's safe. or at least, as safe as the internet can get. basically it was one giant lovely reminder of the space i've managed to create here on my blog and the type of people i've managed to attract to this corner of the internet, and i'm grateful for it. <3

alright. this was one of the hardest things i've ever done (i've obviously led a very privileged life). i'm gonna shut up now and reread some old writing because i feel like i just chose my favorite kids and now i need to reassure all my silly fics that i also adore that i totally still love them just in a different way.

no pressure tags: @andvys @hellfire--cult @hellfirenacht @lokis-army-77 @rosewaterandivy @take-everything-you-can and anyone else who wants to partake, because we all need to show our fics a lil love. you're your first reader, first and foremost <3

[caesarclowningaround]

20 Questions for Fanfic Writers

tagged by the lovely @heroofshield thankies!!

Tagging @pigsinablanketfort @hesawifebeaterdanusethegun @captainbobbin @zebsfloppyears aaaand anybody else who wants to do it can consider themselves tagged!!!!

1). How many works do you have on AO3?

184

2). What’s your total AO3 word count?

966,821

3). What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Broken Doll (The Grandmaster/Loki fix-it fic) Ah, yes. My 4am fic i wrote post-infinity war because i was Upset (still am, tbh)

A Word (jealous Carisi barisi fic in the early days of Mike Dodds) remember when all i wrote was barisi?

Plus One (barisi attending a wedding)

Runts Make Petty Kings (Loki/Jane Foster canon divergent fic) Still one of my favorite fics of mine

Let's Hope This Goes Swimmingly (barisi family reunion fic)

4). What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I write One Piece and Kenzarelli, tho the latter not as much as I used to. It's very much One Piece everyday up in my brain these days. Used to write a lot for SVU and Marvel, with some other stuff thrown in from time to time.

5). Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I really do! If someone asks a question, I will respond ASAP. But anything else really depends on if I have time to reply, if I know what to say, etc. It's something I'm working on.

6). What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I've written a fair few angsty endings, but man. Violet Skies will forever take the cake. I really was just trying to hammer in how miserable everybody was at the end of that one. It was so angsty, it spawned two sequels from me 😂

7). What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I honestly couldn't tell you. I have a lot of fics with happy endings and a lot of them are about the same amount of happiness XD I guess one of my favorite happy endings is Be My All-American Boy

8). Do you get hate on fics?

I have gotten hate on fics before, yes

9). Do you write smut?

Yes :)

10). Do you write crossovers?

Oh yeah~

11). Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had a couple fics stolen in the past and there was nothing I could do about it. it really fucking sucked.

12). Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Both Horizon and Submerge (my kylux merman aus) were both translated into Russian :D (with permission ofc)

13). Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not really

14). What’s your all-time favorite ship?

No. This question is evil and I refuse to pick one..... ZoSan. It was the first major ship I ever had and I still love it. The ship love of my life, if you will

15). What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably Boom, Clap! I wrote the majority of that one during the height of covid when I really just wanted to write about my current hyperfixations (at the time) being mushed together in a fun way and I never really had an ending planned. And, well, it's been a while since I've updated it. i had a whole part of the fic planned that i'm sure i'll never write. Someday I would like to at least write a satisfying ending. i owe a lot to that fic and it deserves an ending <3

16). What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at writing smut. I keep a close attention to detail. Whether it's in crossovers or characters from the same media, I'm really good at finding ways for characters who never met to have a reason to interact and make a relationship work, and build something that otherwise would never have happened.

17). What are your writing weaknesses?

Omniscient POV. I can't do it. I like reading it, but I have to be in someone's head when writing. I can't be a fly on the wall.

Writing plot-based fic. My best stuff is always character-driven with plot thrown in there for flavor. There's absolutely no balance.

Consistent characterization. Sometimes I think a character is in-character, sometimes I think I'm making a character do something because I just want them to do it. This is one I think I'm not very good at, but honestly I think I need outside opinions for

18). Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

It depends on how much, I think. I only have a character use words with another language if it's only a line or two at most. I can't have characters have a whole conversation. At that point I just write it in english and say they said it in the chosen language

19). First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon lol

20). Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Violet Skies again. I don't think it's my best written piece, but I put a hell of a lot of love into it. It was a wild concept to have with a wild pairing, and a lot of the time I didn't think I'd ever finish it. But with encouragement from readers and friends, I managed to get there <3

[heartstringsduet]

4 and 15 for Let Me please Michelle 💖

Thanks D and since @paperstorm wanted 15 for the same series I will answer this in one. You kinky cuties you 💘 4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue? Dialogue is still a weakness of mine. But my is one that's coming up. And not even in the upcoming 20k+ monster but the chapter after haha. But for the published ones it's two scenes.

“I love you.” 

"Love you," TK repeats quietly.

"I love you.”

TK blinks.

Oh. 

It's a guide, Carlos demonstrating it so TK will return it fully, making it more than a ghost of a reply. He won’t allow TK to slip away. It’s cruel. It’s as cruel as being caught stealing by a father, as cruel as a mother dragging her son out of a drug den.

"I love you," TK echoes, giving what little energy he has left into the truth of it. Forever.

Weird to answer this because now I worry people are like: that is awful dialogue lol. It's just a bunch of I Love you's. I mean it is very bare-boned but I like it because it felt like a very significant scene in the show and a moment I wanted to re-visit and fill in the ghost of TK's reply. And also this scene because I love making a conflict between them be how much they want to be what the other needs. And how different definitons of the same thing can lead to arguments.

“That’s not how this works,” Carlos interrupts softly, grasping TK’s restless hand now. “My job is to do what’s best for you, even if it’s something I initiate. It’s a lot of trying to ask for or guess your needs and meet them, make fantasies like the one you described today come true. That’s what a good Dom does.”

“According to whom?” TK asks. “What about you? What about what you need, Carlos?”

“That is what I need,” Carlos stresses. “It means a lot to me to be trusted by you like this, to see you come undone.”

5. What part was hardest to write? - for Andie. Ugh this entire series as I often complain. My biggest enemy is definitely making this a series based in canon, with different POVs and big time jumps. Memorizing what I have already established as their desires and dislikes and what I already had is a nightmare because I sit down to write a scene and it flows instantly. That's why I love writing it. I never have trouble writing scenes. My problem is...they often lead nowhere that would serve the main focus of the part and I have to delete so much because of it. And I do want to make it a series of a relationship and it's trials but also want to make it hot. So no part in particular, truly. All scenes flowed it's just hard to make it all cohesive. 15: What did you learn from writing this fic? Quantitavely: a lot more about shibari lol. I've never written a more elaborative bondage scene so I did some research and found amazing videos not of what i assumed would just be: here is how you do a knot. Here is how you make it pretty, but of how the rope can be used as a literal line of communication and how sensual and beautiful the interaction can be instead of just the end result. Can always recommend reddit and blogs for research on these topics too because it gives you a lot less clinical or porn-ified insight. It also taught me fucking patience

[afpwestcoast]

Union Transfer, Philadelphia, 6/8/24

Before the show there was a Patreon meet-up at RUBA, an eclectic event venue that was an easy walk from Union Transfer. Amanda played In My Mind, and Gaga, Palmer, Madonna on the ukulele, explaining that she had recently relearned the latter for a fundraising party for MIT Press, with whom she is contemplating collaborating on a new book. She talked about how she was absolutely furious when she went on stage last night, without specifying why. But she said she had wanted to play Truce because playing it while angry is “pure catharsis.” In the event they did not play Truce at either show, and speculation on how Truce was or was not related to the source of her fury is left as an exercise for the reader. She then settled in to answer questions from the crowd, and I raised my hand to utter perhaps the most cringe-inducing sentence in the English language: “I don’t have a question, but I have something to share.”

Since the bulk of our relationship consists of trading snarky barbs, you could almost see Amanda mentally bracing for what was to come.

I said, “Last night on stage you talked about how songs could be a kind of curse, and it reminded me of the first thing I ever wrote about you. This would have been in 2004 before I had ever met or talked to you, so it’s basically my first impression based solely on your performance.”

Amanda: <significantly more mental bracing>

Me: Here’s what I said: Amanda Palmer does not sing for money, and she does not sing for your entertainment. Amanda Palmer sings in self defense because there are powerful songs rampaging through her soul and if she doesn’t release them they will destroy her. Amanda: …

Me: And so … I see you.

Amanda: …

Me: …

Amanda: …

Me: …

Amanda: …

Me: OH MY GOD I SHUT YOU UP!

Amanda: <very softly> It was the ‘self defense’ part that got me.

——

We actually beat Amanda to the venue and were already lined up when she arrived for sound check. She came over to me and said, “The guy who shut me up!” and gave me a fist-bump.

I said, “I was hoping for a ‘Fuck you, Tom.’” (The coveted ‘Fuck you, Tom’ is the highest achievement award in my interactions with Amanda.)

“No!” she replied. “I was too sad.”

The show on Friday was definitely a good, solid show. While discussing the difficulty of comparing the quality of different shows my friend Cam, another frequent attendee of multiple shows, put it very succinctly: “Did I ever tell you about the worst Dresden Dolls show I ever saw? It was pretty good!” So really, nothing bad to say about the Friday show. But the Saturday show was simply on another level.

The band was tighter - think Friday: dress rehearsal, Saturday: opening night.

The crowd was more animated and responsive. Everything just clicked. It was an absolute thing of beauty to behold. After the show we were at the end of the signing line and so got to spend a bit more time with Amanda than we normally would have. The main topics of conversation were the incredible energy from both the band and the crowd, and the immeasurable fuckability of Andy Pettitte twenty years ago, which was the source of major bonding between Amanda and my friend Nikki.

I told Amanda it was an amazing show and that during the gobsmacking intro to Half Jack I literally started laughing out loud. Not because anything was funny, but because I was just So. Fucking. Happy.

She said, “Awww! I fucking love you!” And melted into my arms for a big hug. It was no ‘Fuck you, Tom,’ but it will do in a pinch.

Annotated Set List:

Good Day (Brian on guitar to start)

Gravity

Sex Changes

Backstabber

My Alcoholic Friends

Missed Me

Ultima Esperanza

Welcome to the Internet (Bo Burnham cover) “This song is by a fellow Masshole, and I take a lot of pride in that.”

Pirate Jenny This song from The Threepenny Opera (lyrics by Bertolt Brecht, music by Kurt Weill) has been sort of a deep-cut favorite of both fans and the band forever (take a look at Amanda’s keyboard). Though they play it infrequently, it was actually in Amanda’s solo set before the Dresden Dolls were even formed. The bombshell revelation this night was that they are actually considering putting it on the record! After playing it Amanda said, “That song was written over a hundred years ago. Can you imagine a band in 1960 being like ‘We got one from 1860!!’? But actually, yes, olde timey songs, freaky songs: this is like our folk lineage. The weird, dark theater weirdos of the 20s.”

Delilah (featuring Veronica Swift)

This was the demarcation line between the old, familiar songs, and the new songs.

Brian said, “Amanda always gets very nervous at this portion of the show, and I always get very excited.”

“I get excited!” Amanda exclaimed, in a squeaky Mickey Mouse voice. “However,” Brian continued, “this is the exciting moment, which we have not gotten to experience in a very long time, which is the crucial fundamental building block of what the Dresden Dolls are about, which is diving into the unknown. … No more important thing or person or friend have I found in my life that so matched the dreams and hopes and desires and fire and piss and vinegar inside me that wanted to get out in one fucking place.”

I honestly didn’t know Brian could talk that much.

Houdini

Mister God I love this song, but picking up the rapid-fire lyrics, even after hearing it many times, has proven difficult. But, obviously, it’s only real if Mister God says. Boyfriend in a Coma

Whakenewha

“What songs are worth writing? And what songs are worth throwing away? Songs are weird. And I kinda don’t want to be the person writing these songs. I wanna be like, a mature person. But then I think, like, ‘Wait a second … you ARE a mature person. Because, these are the songs that are coming and you’re writing them even though they are scary.’ And here this one’s my favorite.”

The Runner

The Nail (Amanda on synth) They had barely started when there was some sort of medical emergency in the crowd. The band stopped, the lights came up, and Jaron and the venue staff dealt with it quickly and efficiently. Amanda said, “It can be super awkward at a rock show when nothing is happening, but when that happens just like nothing should happen. So just like … wait.”

Bad Habit Amanda said this was going out by request to someone she met this afternoon, making it the most requested DD song in Philly!

- Housekeeping -

Including dad hats (which turned out to be a big seller), and an exhortation to register and vote, and a request to join the mailing list. Amanda finished by saying, “You should also floss and hydrate.”)

Coin-Operated Boy

Half Jack The prolonged intro was one of the best I’ve heard them do. They were both just exploring, quasi-independently, but never losing track of what the other was doing. It is frequently said that Brian is the best drummer in the world (and not just by me!) and it is instances like this where that is proven. It was compelling and engrossing and could have gone on for another 15 minutes as far as I’m concerned.

Girl Anachronism If this show were a sentence then Girl A would be the exclamation point at the end. Holy crap.

— —

“Okay we’re gonna play one last song that we didn’t play last night. This is another old favorite of ours. … Thank you for being an incredible fucking audience tonight. No shade if you were here last night, but fucking thank you for bringing it so hard tonight.”

Sing (featuring Veronica Swift) Veronica led the crowd in the Greek chorus part at the end, not that they needed much prompting; everyone was in full voice (except that kid in the back with the phone). At the very end of the night Amanda invited Veronica to join them in their final bows, a gesture that seemed to genuinely surprise and humble her. A beautiful end to a fantastic show!

Photo Gallery:

I didn’t take as many pictures tonight as usual because, frankly, I was too absorbed in the performance.

Amanda playing In My Mind at the pre-show Patreon meet-up.

Amanda Palmer …

… and Brian Viglione …

… The Dresden Dolls!

Veronica Swift joins on Delilah

Amanda models their new merch … a dad hat! I guess it worked because they sold out of them.

Amanda entreated everyone to join the mailing list by texting “dolls” to 55444. As an enticement for people to take out their phones the Dolls came to the front of the stage and … well … see for yourself. (video by Deanna Aliano)

End of the night family portrait! Amanda and Nikki are DEFINITELY fantasizing about Andy Pettitte 20 years ago. (photo by Michael McComiskey)

[kaleidohscopic]

ON MY NERVES — LHC

PAIRING: haechan x female reader SUMMARY: you don't like lee haechan. you don't like the way he has to argue with everything you say. you don't like the way he never lets you have the last word and manages to piss you off on every single occasion like it's a competition of how fast he can get a rise out of you. and you especially don't like having to share a bed with him. GENRE: enemies to lovers! (ish) au, one bed! trope, humour, light smut WARNINGS: swearing, a spicy makeout session towards the end, general mature content and themes, mentions of jeno x karina WORD COUNT: 2.7k NOTE: meant to get this up for hyuck's bday at the start of the month but here we are... apologies if the pacing is a little off, i wanted to try my hand at something short (and sweet) plus this has been sitting in my drafts for way longer than it should have and i just wanted to get this out instead of letting it rot in my wip basement forever. basically not my best but we move!

“Can you shut the fuck up?”

The fingers that were drumming atop the covers so relentlessly for the past ten minutes came to an abrupt halt at your words. 

“I literally wasn’t even speaking,” he replied, somewhat bewildered, but not without an equal bite in his tone. Haechan was never one to just sit there and take it, especially not from you. If you were to accidentally spill some water on him, rest assured he’d be back the next minute with a whole handful of ice cubes to shove down the back of your shirt. 

It had happened once. Mark had been pretty annoyed at having no ice left for his coke.

To be frank, you weren’t quite sure why your friendship — actually, maybe that was too generous of a description for your relationship — with Haechan was so difficult, for lack of a better word. No matter how civil you had tried to be at the beginning of knowing each other, you’d always end up finding some trivial thing to bicker about, like whether matcha tasted like grass (which it didn’t, he was delusional), or if Canadian people were Americans (which they weren’t, and you had Mark on your side for that one). How you managed to survive so long in the same friend group was nothing short of baffling. For their sake and your own, you did your best not to rise up to his bait, trying your best at civility when you absolutely had no choice but to interact with him. 

It had been working pretty well for you. Up until now, where the two of you were currently lying in the same bed, in a stuffy little hotel room that would become home for the coming week, with nobody within these four stifling walls to put up a front for. 

You should never have agreed to come on this trip with Karina. 

“Just cut out whatever you’re doing with your hands, I’m trying to sleep,” you groaned, adjusting the pillow underneath your head. The comforter was just big enough to cover the both of you with nearly a foot of space between your bodies, but of course he had to hog that, wrapping the other end around himself like a caterpillar in chrysalis. Not wanting to move any closer to him, you gave it a tug, sandwiching the edge of it between your legs, and suppressed a satisfied smile when his attempts to pull it back were unsuccessful.

He dragged out an irritated exhale. “Don’t hog the blanket, I’m trying to sleep too.”

“I thought you were fingering the bedsheets?” you shot back. “Could have fooled me.”

“I wasn’t fucking fingering the bedsheets!”

“Then what were you doing?”

“It’s Kuhlau’s Sonatina in C Major,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Opus 55, number 1.”

You turned over to shoot him the flattest look you could muster. As if he was talking about classical music right now, when you were both supposed to be fast asleep to have enough energy to brave the 14-hour itinerary Karina had put together for tomorrow. As if he was trying to shove in your face how intellectual and sophisticated he was, playing imaginary piano on top of the comforter, when you knew he was first and foremost a League player, and a proud one at that. 

“Just know I say this from the bottom of my heart,” you began, trying to inject as much sincerity into your voice as you could, “shut up and go to sleep.”

Whatever snarky reply he was preparing to fire back with was lost on you as you turned away from him again, laying back into your previous position while trying to maintain the distance between your bodies under the blanket. The air was filled with the low tones of his grumbling, though you couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying apart from a few words that sounded suspiciously like ‘shut up’ and ‘uncultured’. Underneath you, the mattress shifted, and the sound of rustling from the other side of the bed let you know he had settled himself in. 

Satisfaction turned the corners of your mouth upwards. So he could actually do what he was told.

Tomorrow morning, you’d wake up early, head down to the front desk and beg them to change from your current room to one with two beds. You were banking on the guest services agents tomorrow morning being different from the heartless middle-aged lady who had already denied your request earlier today, despite the desperation in your eyes. Murder could very well be on the books if you had to stick to this arrangement for the entire week.

You were teetering on the cusp of sleep, mind filled with wonderful thoughts about locking Haechan out on the balcony for the rest of the night, when you were abruptly pulled from your dreams by the sound of his voice. 

“You know, this is kind of all your fault,” he said quietly. Sleep still riddling your brain, you heard the words before you processed them, but when the sounds finally clicked into decipherable meanings, you started, bristling with confusion.

“What are you talking about?” you said, doubting your own ears.

He clicked his tongue against his teeth, a sound you recognised. It was a surefire sign he was getting annoyed, and hearing it never failed to rile you up too. “This whole ‘sharing a room and sleeping in the same bed’ thing, it’s your fault.”

You whirled over to face him, sleep now cleanly slipping out of your grasp. He met your astonished gaze with a steady one of his own, standing his ground, never one to back down from getting on your nerves. Did he seriously just wake you up right before you were about to fall asleep, all so he could blame you for something that you didn’t want either?

A disbelieving laugh left your mouth. “How the hell is this my fault?”

“You’re the one who booked the rooms. Why would you book two doubles?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” you fired back. You were nothing if not financially savvy, which the string of numbers before the decimal point of your bank account balance could attest to, and the booking website had a discount for the double room over the twin, even though the listings were the exact same. 

Except for a few things. 

Like the actual bed. 

“The double was cheaper and it had a better view,” you huffed. “I didn’t hear you complaining when I saved everyone at least fifty bucks each.” He hadn’t seemed all that grateful either when you had sent the screenshots to the group chat, only responding with a thumbs up reaction to your detailed message, but then again, he didn’t tend to show much emotion towards the joyous end of the spectrum at the mention of your name. Still, you knew him well enough that no response was a good response, because if he was unhappy about something that involved you, there was no chance you wouldn’t be made aware of it.

Irritation coloured his expression. “I don’t care about some stupid view. I’m pissed because I have to share a bed with you when I should be rooming with Jeno instead.”

“And I should be actually enjoying the harbour view with Karina instead!” You could feel the angry pounding in your ears intensifying with every extra second spent with your eyes on him, on the pinch of his brow, on the tight purse of his pink lips. “But no, I’m stuck with you. So however much you think you hate this, just know that I hate it even more than you do,” you spat.

“Which is why you should have booked the twin,” he said, stubborn and uncompromising. 

Never letting up. Always needing to have the last word against you.

“How was I supposed to know Karina and Jeno were gonna start fucking before the trip?” you cried, throwing your hands up in exasperation. 

The steel in his stare only hardened. “Because,” he scowled, honey voice steeped in sarcasm and eyes charged with challenge, “don’t you know everything?”

Perhaps, if you had paid a little more attention to the increasing time your best friend had been spending with a certain puppy-eyed gym rat over the last few months, you could have put two and two together before witnessing the two of them very publicly lip-locking at Renjun’s birthday party. Perhaps, if you had looked up from your laptop to ask her who she was going on a late night drive with for the third time in a week, you could have predicted the drunken love confession Jeno would spew in his friend’s bedazzled living room, among the many other things that came out of his mouth that night. 

Perhaps, if you had spent a little more time doing anything instead of devising every possible plan to have Haechan stumble off the wharf listed in tomorrow’s itinerary, you could have had the foresight to make changes to your accommodation before the window for free cancellations and amendments had closed.

So yes, maybe this whole situation could have been avoided if you were a fraction more observant. But it wasn’t as if you were the only person who could have worked it out earlier. 

The challenging slant to his eyes softened with smugness, almost as if he could hear what you were thinking. You knew that face, that stupid face he would make when he was about to say something he knew would piss you off. That stupid, handsome face that made you want to tear his hair out, strand by strand, straight out of his scalp, and then force feed the dark brown locks to him. 

“Or do you just pretend to know everything so you can get on my nerves?”

For a fleeting second, your vision went hazy white around the edges, like a vignette filter with the colours inverted. Everything went quiet except for the pounding of your heartbeat, loud and violent between your ears.

His smug, handsome face disappeared underneath your pillow with a loud smack. 

There was a short spluttering noise, muffled by the cotton you hoped he was inhaling. You lifted the pillow up again, just enough to see the genuine shock written in the crease of his brows, revelling in it for just a second before the shock could settle into something else that would have him thinking of revenge.

“What the fuck?” 

You swung the pillow at him again.

“Can you please just shut” —a thump against his shoulder— “the fuck” —you aimed for his face again— “up?” you groaned, a pleading rasp to your voice. Maybe he’d stop opening his mouth if this thing was glued to his face forever. You’d never have to hear his stupid voice or see his stupid face again.

Just as you were about to land another hit on his tiny head, a hand shot out, grabbing a hold of your weapon of attack before it could collide with him again. He pushed the pillow down ever so slightly, just enough so that he could fix his eyes on you and let their smouldering heat burn into your own.

“Fucking make me.”

You’d like to think it was the glint in them, the silent dare written into his chocolate rich eyes, that had you rising to the bait. You’d like to think he knew exactly what he was doing and what he was implying with that smart mouth of his. That smart mouth and those pouty lips.

You’d like to think it had nothing to do with the heat that curled in the pit of your stomach at the sight of him underneath you, fluffy hair dishevelled from your attacks, one side of his mouth quirked up at the corner, looking up at you like he had you in the palm of his hand. Like he could swallow you whole if he wanted.

You’d like to think all those things, but when the distance between your faces closed and you crushed your lips to his, the truth reared its head, breaking the surface of the annoyance you had grown so used to wearing.

You wanted him.

You wanted Lee Haechan.

Judging by the way his mouth was moving under yours, hot and frantic, it seemed he wanted you too. The kiss was a clash of teeth and tongue, brash and messy, all those years of frustration pouring out and overflowing into the hard press of your lips against each other. Your pillow fell to the side, now useless and forgotten, and your hands came up to grasp at the softness of his hair, winding through the strands you had been thinking of tearing out just a minute earlier.

“You are so insufferable,” you gritted out against his mouth, pulling the plump flesh of his bottom lip between your teeth and giving it a sharp nip. 

He didn’t seem to like that. One slender hand came up around your hip, holding you flush against him as he rolled you over with an ease you hadn’t been expecting. Maybe the gym sessions with Jeno and Jaemin you had heard about weren’t made up after all. 

“And you,” he growled, dragging his lips down the column of your throat, “need to watch that attitude.” A hand came up to play with the strap of your sleep tank, waiting for your quick nod before it slipped under the fabric, slowly sliding it off your shoulder. His mouth was quick to follow, pressing wet kisses along the length of your collarbone. You’d never admit that the thready sound he pulled out of your mouth was anything even remotely close to a moan, but the smug smile against your skin was evidence enough that he knew just how affected you were by him, even if you wouldn’t own up to it yourself.

“Watch yourself,” you fired back, struggling to keep your breath from hitching when you felt the light graze of his teeth over your neck. Not fair. The game had barely even started, and he was already winning. Eager to make things even, your hands left his hair to grab at the hem of his t-shirt, pushing it up until your fingers were splayed against the smooth skin of his toned stomach. 

Oh, the gym sessions with the muscle twins were definitely real, and definitely paying off.

An experimental rake of your nails over his abdominals drew a low hiss out of him. Now you were getting somewhere. He brought his head back up so that he was hovering over you once more, and fixed you with a dark look.

“Don’t play,” he warned, but the needy undercurrent to his voice was giving him away. He might not have said much, but the growing firmness pressing into your upper thigh was doing all the talking for him. You let your fingertips dip underneath the waistband of his pants, a teasing proposition of what could follow, and his gaze darkened even further.

“What are you going to do about it?”

He did something about it, for sure. 

He did a lot of somethings about it. 

He did so many things about it that it had you late to the hotel breakfast buffet the next morning, greeting Karina and Jeno with a flimsy smile and slight limp to your walk. You slid into the seat next to her with a poorly concealed wince, but she was too focused on cutting her boyfriend’s pancakes to notice, sparing you nothing more than a small wave and a quick hello. 

Someone else did notice though. Haechan flashed you a knowing smile, lips quirking up at the corners as he took the remaining chair at the table. A flicker of irritation bloomed inside you, but with it there was something sweeter as well, something bordering on the edges of thrill at what his look entailed.

“No name-calling or death glares yet? I’m impressed, you guys really are on your best behaviour,” Jeno laughed. “How was the bed situation? Not too bad?”

You and Haechan exchanged another loaded glance.

“Let’s just say, we both slept very well.”

[veidtveidtveidt]

PSA

PSA

Guys, I'm drowning in off-topic asks. 

Please, please, please: if you want to talk to me about something that's not about the passwords/downloads, like if you want to correspond with me about Connie, please don't do so via the asks on here, or on Tumblr at all. If you want to have conversations about Connie with me, Pillowfort is the best place for that. 

Why?

-Tumblr is rubbish and I am not active on this hellsite anymore, but only pop in to see password requests here on VVV from time to time. This is NOT my online home. I am not here to hang out and be fannish. Again, I am now on PF and that's that.

-Tumblr deletes all the asks you respond to, because, again, it's shit. If you've written me something nice, I don't want it to be wiped, or lose my reply in cyberspace either, so that's part of the reason why I may not respond to your message. (Yes, I could screencap, but it's not the same thing). And I have to constantly worry about accidentally publishing a private ask! It's all so incredibly unwieldy here that it's utterly rubbish for any meaningful interactions. So, please, please, please, let's use a platform that's far better for that sort of thing. Like PF. It's designed with fannish discussion in mind to begin with. 

-I know what you're thinking. Your neurosis is all aflame with paranoia and now you think I am talking about you specifically, and that I hate you forever and that you're an awful person who's fucked up again and yadayadayada. No. Don't tear your hair out, please! I am not vagueblogging about you specifically nor do I hate you forever; I have just had literally half a dozen people do this and some have sent multiple messages, so my askbox is full of everything BUT password requests. Dozens and dozens of messages that have nothing to do with passwords, some of them just people literally spamming me with their monologues! Please, save monologues for your own blogs; that's what they're for! Don't flood someone who's not asked for it, simply because you share a fandom with them. 

-So, if I haven't responded to your password request yet, this is why. It's harder for me to find the password requests and get down to responding to them, because it takes ages to respond to the off-topics! There; I'm just telling you all what it's like at this end.

-Also, I am disabled and fatigue easily. I have limited computer time and simply don't have the energy to type out messages saying all this to six people separately. Again, my askbox has overrun with off-topic stuff now, and that's not what this blog is for.

So, please, for the love of Connie, let's just stick to the password requests on here, okay? And please, don't send me apologies now, either, because they aren't needed (rather, I'm sending you hugs and such!), and besides, apologies would be off-topic as well--let me just concentrate on the password stuff here and leave the chatting to PF, ok?

I'm just not going to reply to off-topic stuff now, JSYK--but it really is not personal. I promise. Just, I'm exhausted and there's a time and place for everything. Even for geekery.

Thank you! And please keep the password requests coming; I have plenty of bandwidth left.

[na-ta-sh-aa]

I was so happy and excited for them, but then the ending left me with so many questions.

"She's smart, and she's gorgeous. And I doubt she's handing her phone number out to anyone who looks at her. I'm not in a rush for once."

He's so into her! That it's definitely not a passing thing, and I love seeing Jake struggle so much with a woman. He must not be used to this type of situation, it always seems that with women it has always been so easy as a walk in the park for him. I also like how he takes things calmly with her, unlike how he always has.

“Sugar said she'd eat lunch with Dr. Reed today and try to see what's up, but only if I could determine if you really liked her and weren't just trying to fuck her."

I absolutely loved the moments between Sugar and Bradley with all my heart! And Sugar telling Bradley to test Jake and see if he actually cares about her was truly brilliant.

“P.S.- If you liked that photo and are well behaved, maybe you can have more. Ones that aren't listed on the university website.”

AHHH, Jessica! I love how little by little she seems to become a little more confident.

“But then he snatched it back quickly with a look of panic. "Actually, let me just scroll and make sure she didn't send a dirty picture," he mumbled, swiping along his phone screen. "Nah, you're good."

Bradley initially gave the phone to Jake but then thinking about it immediately made me double over laughing😂

“You might not immediately know it by interacting with him, but the man clearly loved his wife.”

Beer boy really loves Sugar with all his heart🥹 He made her lunch, Bradley is the perfect man!

“Tell Jake to just Keep Truckin' (that's a Grateful Dead reference for you, Beer Boy. Reward me later.)”

Sugar's message was so beautiful. This is the part that I loved the most, because I think you can see the chemistry between them, how they know each other, how they tease and provoke each other, their relationship is really beautiful. If I think about how much they went through together, how they broke up, then found each other again and now be together forever, aww I cry for the beauty🥹!

“they actually had nicknames for each other. Advanced Physics and Advanced Calculus.”

I would love so much if they became closer friends, I already like their relationship a lot. The fact that they have nicknames is so sweet.

“Be honest with me. How soon is he going to lose interest in a nerd who collects journals and does math problems for fun?"

I don't understand why she gets so down on herself, she is beautiful, intelligent, sweet and ironic! I wonder if this had anything to do with what happened with Brian?

"Listen," the other woman said. "This is just from Advanced Calculus to Advanced Physics, okay?"Okay," Jessica replied with a laugh.”

I love how sweet Sugar is. How she encourages her, supports her and gives her advice.

“On Tuesday morning, she dressed in a matching set of lingerie just like she always did.”

Aww I love how I mirror myself so much for this detail with her.

“When the door clicked into place, she imagined herself locking it and doing the dirtiest things in her office with Jake Seresin”

Ooh I bet she had several thoughts about what to do to Jake, given the man in front of her it would be hard not to think about it!

“He grunted and her eyes met his. Was she doing this on purpose? Did she know how good she looked to him right now? Did she have any fucking clue how crazy she was making him? No. He could tell she had no idea how much she was messing him up.”

When their eyes met I felt the tension between them!

“Are you distracting me on purpose?" Do you find me distracting?”

"I thought you had something you wanted to ask me tonight," she whispered as one high heeled foot met his calf, and the fine hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention. 

I think at some point the room temperature became unbearable because these two are so hot!🫠🫠

“Because suddenly it was after 7:30 and there was no sign of Jake.”

Nooo, poor Jessica😭. But I hope Jake didn't go because he had an unexpected event and as he didn't have her number he couldn't call her. Now I wonder how hard it will be for Jessica to trust Jake again? Just when she had trusted and agreed to go out😭

Wonderful chapter, as I said before I loved the moments between Bradley and Sugar with all my heart. Hope Jake can fix this soon! I loved it so much💌✨

Adult Education Part 4 | Hangman x OC

Summary: Jake gets some more insider information about Jessica, and he decides to let her know exactly what he intends to do next. The heated moments in her office are about to boil over, until Jessica is hit with the feeling that Jake is starting to run cold. 

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, eventually 18+

Length: 4100 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

"Did you get her number yet?" Bradley asked in the locker room on Monday morning while Jake was changing into his flight suit.

Very begrudgingly, he said, "No, I did not." It had been almost a full day since he emailed Jessica, and all he got in return was radio silence. 

"Damn... I've been messing around with my wife all over campus. I got a blowjob in a lecture hall last week, and you still don't have a phone number?"

Jake just rolled his eyes and said, "I'm hoping I'll see her again tomorrow."

"Sugar was right," Bradley said, shaking his head as he zipped up his own flight suit. "You're losing your touch."

Jake slammed his locker closed. "It's not like she's some random tag chaser from the Hard Deck, okay?" he growled. "She's smart, and she's gorgeous. And I doubt she's handing her phone number out to anyone who looks at her. I'm not in a rush for once."

Bradley smirked and held his fist out. Jake very slowly hit it with his own fist. "What is this?" he asked cautiously after the fist bump. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Sugar said she'd eat lunch with Dr. Reed today and try to see what's up, but only if I could determine if you really liked her and weren't just trying to fuck her."

Jake stopped the smart response on his lips before the words came out. He still wasn't sure what kind of rumors were circulating about Jessica, and he definitely didn't want to add to anything by coming on too strong or being an ass. Part of him was convinced he needed Bradshaw's wife on his side to make it to the next step. So he said, "I've been spending the vast majority of my time thinking about cooking dinner for her while she reads to me from a scientific journal. Not sure if that's the kind of information your wife is looking for."

Bradley looked shocked and his face paled. "Huh. If she has a titty tattoo, you're screwed, man. Completely fucked." But he was reaching for his phone now. "I'll text my wife and let her know."

"Thanks," Jake grunted, checking his email app one last time before closing his locker and heading out toward the hangar. As he looked over his jet and filled in the safety protocol sheets, he kept thinking about her. She would be fascinated by this, seeing all of her mathematical knowledge playing out. He could take her up in the air with him, and she would be delighted the entire time.

Jake would have already taken Jessica out to dinner last night and dropped her off at home with a kiss. But this wasn't playing out the way he imagined it would. If Bradshaw's wife didn't help clue him in on what was going on here, then tomorrow would be his last attempt. He was on the verge of getting his hopes up. He couldn't even look at the patch on his flight suit the same way anymore. Not after her elegant fingers had skimmed along the golden threads. 

But he pushed everything from his mind the best he could, and he got up in the air for the training exercises with Phoenix and Bob. But when he got back to his locker around five o'clock, he saw an email from Jessica that had been sent eight hours ago. Jake nearly dropped his phone as he tried to open the app.

Dear Lieutenant Seresin,

I'm so pleased to hear that you enjoy the journals as much as I do. If you keep reading them from front cover to back cover, I'm sure you'll be rewarded with the knowledge that you're craving. I might even have to pull some of my own published articles for you to read... if you think you can handle that sort of thing.

My equations are not for the faint of heart. Bring your pencil on Tuesday but leave your skateboard. I wouldn't want to have to lecture you about skating in the academic buildings. We could be there all night. 

Perpetually looking forward to my office hours now,

Dr. Jessica Reed, Ph.D

P.S.- If you liked that photo and are well behaved, maybe you can have more. Ones that aren't listed on the university website.

Jake had to juggle his phone again as he read the post script. "Holy shit," he drawled, his eyes skimming along the words a second and third time. He was in. He had to be? This was sent before any sort of lunch could have happened between his favorite physics professor and his favorite math professor. "Shit, shit, shit. Bradshaw!" Jake ran back past the lockers and toward the showers. "Bradshaw!"

"What?" Bradley called back from one of the stalls where steam was rising from the top, voice echoing loudly.

"What did your wife say?" Jake asked impatiently. 

"Jesus, Hangman. I don't know. I haven't checked my phone yet."

Jake sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "Well, how much longer are you going to be?"

"For fuck's sake! I don't know! I'm literally taking a shower. Is nothing sacred?"

Jake muttered, "I really need your wife's phone number," as he wandered back to sit on the bench in front of his locker and read the email again. 

A few minutes later, a glaring Bradley strolled back over in his towel, reached into his locker and tapped his passcode into his phone. "Here, knock yourself out," he said, handing it to Jake. But then he snatched it back quickly with a look of panic. "Actually, let me just scroll and make sure she didn't send a dirty picture," he mumbled, swiping along his phone screen. "Nah, you're good."

Jake quickly found the one long message at the bottom of the thread and started to read it. 

Thanks for packing my lunch today. I feel ridiculously spoiled when everyone else has to eat a sad looking microwave meal or grab something from that horrifying food truck next to Chippy's. You're the absolute best. 

Jake glanced to where Bradshaw was getting dressed and fixing his hair. You might not immediately know it by interacting with him, but the man clearly loved his wife. 

I shared some of the veggies and hummus with Jessica. I still don't know what went down with her and Brian Conley, but it's creepy the way he looks at her. But anyway, lunch was nice. I think I made a new friend? Because she's not annoying or old or a man, and she doesn't try to talk over everyone else. Oh, and she's definitely into Jake. She started to fidget and adjust her glasses when I told her that I saw him at the Hard Deck over the weekend and he asked about her. She's cute as a button. Tell Jake to just Keep Truckin' (that's a Grateful Dead reference for you, Beer Boy. Reward me later.)

"Truly, the two of you are disgusting," Jake said as he reached for his own phone. "I'm saving your wife's phone number." Once he had it saved in his contacts, he gave Bradley his phone back. "Thanks."

"Sure," Bradley grunted. "She get you what you were hoping for?"

Jake just smirked. "Dr. Tits never lets me down."

----------------------------

Jessica tried not to let her hesitancy show when she was invited to have lunch with the only female with tenure in the math department. This wasn't even the first time recently that she thought she might be able to make a friend at work, but she didn't want to get ahead of herself. One small step at a time with these things. She still wasn't exactly sure who to trust around here. 

But when the other woman knocked on her door promptly at noon, Jessica opened her door and smiled. "Do you want to eat in here?" she asked, noting the lunchbox the other woman was holding which had a funky tie dye print. 

"Sure, AP," she replied with a smile. Jessica's heart swelled with happiness; they actually had nicknames for each other. Advanced Physics and Advanced Calculus.

"Have a seat, AC," she said, gesturing to the chair opposite her desk. Jessica knew her husband worked with Jake, and she really wanted to ask about him. But out of extreme caution, she kept her mouth shut as far as he was concerned. The last thing Jessica wanted was to make this kind female who was close to her own age and who seemed really cool thinking she was only interested in talking about the aviator she was crushing on. Instead she said, "So, tell me more about the mythical math department where they give tenure to women."

Then as she opened up the meal that her husband packed, she regaled Jessica with tales of fair treatment and an office with a view. And then she offered to share her lunch as Jessica ate a hot pocket. And while Jessica was munching on a carrot stick, the other woman said, "I was at this naval hangout over the weekend with my husband, and Jake was there. He asked me about you."

Jessica sat up straighter in her seat. There was still no response to her email from this morning, but she doubted Jake was allowed to just play around on his phone while operating a seventy million dollar aircraft. She slid her glasses a little further up her nose and said, "In an effort not to sound completely boy crazy... what did he want to know?"

She snorted. "Everything."

And that's when Jessica started to panic. Everyone in this part of San Diego State University had surely heard some rumors about her and Brian. She was mortified that this woman might have told Jake the truth. If she even knew the truth. But one of the lies or rumors would be just as bad. She wanted to hide under her desk now, and all she could manage to say was, "Oh."

But she just kept going. "Between you and me, Jake's going a little crazy that you apparently won't let him have your phone number? Which I think is absolutely what that man needs. So keep up the good work. He's too handsome, and he knows it. I don't think he's ever encountered someone like you before."

Jessica looked at her with wide eyes. "Be honest with me. How soon is he going to lose interest in a nerd who collects journals and does math problems for fun?"

But she just shook her head. "Lose interest? Probably never. Get frustrated and think you're not interested? Hmmm. I'm not sure."

But Jessica could feel her neck growing warm. She'd been pretty forward in her email to him earlier, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. "Nobody could lose interest in Jake," she murmured, helping herself to some more carrot sticks. 

"Listen," the other woman said. "This is just from Advanced Calculus to Advanced Physics, okay?"

"Okay," Jessica replied with a laugh.

"Jake could probably get any woman he wanted, but he hasn't had much exposure to anyone except hardass military officers and tag chasers. I'd say you fall somewhere in between. Just be careful, okay?"

Jessica nodded in agreement, unsure exactly what she was agreeing to. But she found she liked the idea of falling somewhere in between for Jake. In her mind, it made her more unique than she actually felt. 

On Tuesday morning, she dressed in a matching set of lingerie just like she always did. But she chose a deep wine red, because it made her feel bold. And if Jake followed through with what he said, then he would be stopping by her office later today. Bold might be a necessity.

She was running her finger along the strap of her bra before tucking it into her lightweight sweater as her computer booted up. She had her coffee on her desk, but she didn't need it. She was so excited and filled with adrenaline, she felt like she might bounce around her small office. Then she gasped; there was a new email from jake.seresin waiting for her.

Dear Dr. Reed,

I'm hoping you'll have some time for me later today. I'm also thinking that one of these visits, my luck will run out. Will somebody else skateboard off with your heart? Will I have to compete with a whole line of aviators with detailed physics notes and sharpened pencils?

I won't be able to stand the heartache, so I wanted to let you know now that I'm going to ask you out tonight. I'm going to try to persuade you to join me at Chippy's for more beer and peanuts on Wednesday. I want you to have some time to think about your answer. Because if that's not something you want to do, then I'm going to need you to let me down very gently, Jessica. 

See you when I report to your office hours,

Jake

P.S.- If there actually is a whole line of aviators, I wouldn't be surprised in the least.

Oh, he was so smooth. And funny. And he was giving her the whole day to decide what she wanted to do. Jessica squeaked and smiled behind her coffee cup. He must have sensed her hesitance, but he didn't seem annoyed. Rather he seemed like going to Chippy's with her again would make him really happy. Chippy's of all places. Her of all women. 

With a few minutes until her schedule really started for the day, she stood and knelt in her dress pants in front of her bookshelf. There was a specific journal with a specific article that would be just perfect for what she had planned. Once she located it, she tucked it away in her top drawer, and then she went back for a few more journals that she could send home with Jake. 

And as far as Chippy's went, she knew exactly what she wanted to do. Last time they were there, she'd had the best time talking to him, and they hadn't even gotten into many personal topics. Of course she did run away terrified that he was trying to two time his wife or girlfriend. But this time around would be different. 

She snatched up her folders and lecture notes and locked her door behind her, knowing she would have to contend with Luca and all of her other students before she would get to see Jake at all. So she buckled down and got to work. Three lectures, one lab class and one recitation later, she wandered back up to her office, absolutely starving and exhausted. 

The sad salad she pulled out of her mini fridge and the thermos of lemonade would just have to do. It was already after three o'clock, and she had exams to grade. The fact that she had the worst schedule out of everyone in the physics department was not lost on her as she forced her salad down and dreamed about something homemade. It was ridiculous how jealous she was of the packed lunches that her calculus counterpart always had. 

Two huge stacks of exams later, Jessica made note that she had five students who were failing their classes. Gently, she removed her glasses and let her forehead come to rest on her desk. Her office hours were about to begin, and as excited as she had been to see Jake earlier this morning, she kind of wished more of her students would visit her. It was early in the term, and they had time to turn their grades around, but still. 

At 5:30 she propped her door open and waited. As long as Dr. Leeland didn't stop by today, she'd call it a win. She gave extra practice problems to Nia, and she helped Benji correct his mistakes on his lab calculations, and then she waited. After she checked the time on her computer, she turned off the monitor. It was 6:45. She'd been on campus since 8:00. She was hungry again. And she was starting to feel like an idiot.

"Reedy."  

Her eyes met his pretty green ones instantly. Perched in her open doorway with his notebook in hand, he looked like everything she wanted. Jeans and a black tee replaced his uniform today, and he was just stupidly handsome. 

"Jake."

He nodded toward the hallway, and she saw a sharpened pencil tucked behind his ear. "Would you like me to close the door?"

"Please," she replied softly as she stood behind her desk. When the door clicked into place, she imagined herself locking it and doing the dirtiest things in her office with Jake Seresin. These same thoughts circulated her brain as she tried to fall asleep every night now. She'd have him pushed up against the wall with her lips on his neck. Or she'd push him down onto her chair and straddle one thick thigh.

She was jarred back to reality as he made his way over to her desk with a soft smile. "I tried my hand at some of these equations," he drawled. "Can't quite figure them out. Don't seem to have the right numbers."

Then he reached up, and Jessica watched him take that pencil into his hand. "Would you like me to show you how it's done?" she asked with a smirk. 

"Oh, you know I would." Hungry eyes roamed over her face as he handed the pencil over to her. His fingers felt rough when they brushed hers, and she had to fight to keep her mind focused on the math in his notebook. 

"Have a seat," she told him, and she knew the fun was just about to begin. 

-------------------------

Jake eased himself down into the chair opposite Jessica's desk, and he looked up at her where she stood. She had his pencil in her hand, and as she reached into her drawer to retrieve her calculator, he watched her pretty, red sweater slide a few inches down her shoulder revealing her bra strap. It was a darker shade of red. It looked beautiful against her skin. 

"You're using the wrong formulas," she said with a smirk. "You can't expect the physics problems to respond to the wrong math."

"Show me how it's done, Jessica." 

She bit her lip, and when she bent at the waist, Jake couldn't fathom how her students were able to pay attention in her classes. Her body was absolutely sinful looking. And when the tip of his pencil pressed against the notebook page, Jake's eyes drifted to the front of her sweater. That bra was even prettier than he imagined. His cock pulsed in his snug jeans. Lace. Just lace and her gorgeous cleavage. 

He grunted and her eyes met his. Was she doing this on purpose? Did she know how good she looked to him right now? Did she have any fucking clue how crazy she was making him? No. He could tell she had no idea how much she was messing him up. 

Then she wrote out the set of formulas that he would need to use before spinning the notebook around so it was facing him. "Give it a try," she said, setting her calculator and his pencil next to it. 

As Jake leaned closer to her desk to take a look, Jessica walked around to the other side. She perched herself next to where he was working, his fingers just inches away from her thigh as he desperately tried to remember the difference between thrust and propulsion. 

"Are you distracting me on purpose?" he asked without looking away from the notebook. 

"Do you find me distracting?" she asked softly, and Jake chuckled. 

"You know I do," he said before dropping the pencil and standing. He towered over her as he gingerly placed his hands on the desk, bracketing her in. "You know I do, Jessica."

His face was close to hers, but she didn't shy away at all. The devilish grin that found its way to her lips was begging to be kissed away until she was moaning his name. But he didn't move an inch. 

"I thought you had something you wanted to ask me tonight," she whispered as one high heeled foot met his calf, and the fine hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention. 

He jerked his chin up an inch. "Baby, if you won't go to Chippy's with me tomorrow, it's gonna break my heart."

As soon as her teeth pressed into her plush lip, Jake could see that grin return to her face. When he moved a fraction of an inch closer, she gasped and said, "I couldn't possibly go out with a guy who can't get his thrust equation down correctly."

Jake smirked and pushed off from the desk, leaving her and returning to his vacant seat. Then he read through the formulas she had written for him. And then he worked out his constants and entered his variables. When he punched everything into her calculator, he came up with an answer. And then he double checked it. Because the last thing he wanted Jessica to be concerned about was him knowing all about the power of thrust. 

When he handed her the notebook, he eased himself further back into the seat. She adjusted her glasses with the backs of her fingers and then started to skim the page to check his math. But that pretty smile was still present, and soon she closed the notebook and then set it down next to her thigh. 

She met his gaze and held it. "I would love to go back to Chippy's with you." 

That meant his math was correct. It probably also meant that she made her mind up earlier today but just wanted to toy with him. And he could become fucking addicted to that. 

"Just tell me what time, and I'll meet you there," he promised, heart thudding in anticipation of another evening spent with her.

"Seven?" she asked softly. 

"It's a date."

---------------------------------

Jessica stopped home between her last class and the beginning of her date at Chippy's. Every time she thought about it, she started laughing. A college dive bar was hardly the most romantic place in San Diego to grab a drink, but somehow it was exactly perfect. She ate dinner quickly and then changed out of her pantsuit. 

The mirror in her walk in closet caught her attention, and she spun to inspect her body in the royal blue bra and thong. Not bad. But she wasn't sure how to dress. And she wasn't planning on letting Jake see this pretty set. Yet. They hadn't even kissed. He still didn't have her phone number. But that made her giggle as she tried on a few different pairs of jeans before settling on ones that were high waisted and hugged her body.

She chose a cute blouse and then slid on a pair of high heels before heading back to campus. As she parked near the bar, she checked her makeup one last time in the mirror on the back of the sun visor. She looked good. Better than good. Then she grabbed the journals and her purse from the front seat and headed inside.

The peanut shells that littered the floor stuck to the bottoms of her shoes, and the crowd of students was a little loud. But she liked it here anyway. When Chippy himself looked up from the bar, he smiled at her. 

"Reedy," he said with a wave. "A beer?"

But she shook her head. "Not yet. I'm meeting someone. He should be here soon."

His brow scrunched up. "That same one? In the uniform?" When she nodded, he said, "Careful with those ones, Reedy."

And his words hung in the air as she found an empty high top with two stools. For the past year she'd kept to herself. Kept her nose clean. Stayed away from not only the bad guys, but really guys altogether. Was she making a mistake here? 

She checked the time on her phone. 7:04. Then she skimmed the journal she brought with her which contained her very own recent publication. Then she checked her phone again. 7:17. Chippy dropped off a bowl of peanuts, and she cracked one open as her brain started to tell her that she was being stood up. Because suddenly it was after 7:30 and there was no sign of Jake.

-----------------------

Jake, what the hell, man? You're only going to get one chance here. Loving the Beer Boy and Sugar moments. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[charzard-lord]

Under the Tension of Hate (Loki/Fem!Reader)

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: SMUT!!! MINORS DNI!!! angst, language, teasing, masturbation, nipple play, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, face riding, hate sex, angry sex, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), vaginal sex, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, hair pulling, light degradation, choking, slight dom/sub themes (with reader on top)

Pairings: Loki/Reader

Key: 🎭💣💋🔞♀️

Summary: You have a sex dream about the one person you hate the most, creating confusion and uncertainty in your heart.

A/N: OMG I started writing this in September and I literally just finished it ahhhhhhh. This took way longer than I wanted it to but at least it's finally done. Also, I was gonna make the ending angsty, but I decided to go for fluffy instead cuz I'm a sap. Sorry for not posting in forever. Hopefully this Loki smut makes up for it! Thank you as always for interacting with my fics, it gives me life!

“I hate you,” the words leave your mouth, dripping with a carefully constructed venom as you glare daggers at Loki. He makes an inexplicable anger boil in your gut and you can’t figure out exactly why. All you know is that your heart always beats a little faster when he’s around and it pisses you off. 

“No, you don’t,” he smirks, eyes glowing mischievously as he circles you like a predator would their prey. 

“You don’t know anything,” you spit back, trying to ignore your rising body heat when he steps closer. You chalk it up to rage, trying to ignore the way his light chuckle makes your heart skip a beat. 

“I know more than you think,” he closes the distance between you and reaches out to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. There is a tenderness in his eyes when he looks at you and it only makes your anger rise. 

You back up and turn away from him, letting out a low growl. You refuse to let him have power over you. 

“Fuck you,” you say, but your voice lacks any real conviction and you mentally curse yourself for it. 

“If you insist,” his voice has a teasing lilt and you whirl around to yell at him, but he is a lot closer than you expected him to be. 

You try to back away, only to hit a wall, Loki slowly stalking closer to you, his eyes dark and intense as he seems to peer right into your soul. When he reaches you, he places both hands on the wall next to your head, closing you in, his hot breath fanning across your face. Heat rises to your cheeks as you fight the urge to rub your thighs together, unable to deny the way his presence sends a needy jolt right to your core. 

“You’re infuriating,” you manage to whisper as you avoid his gaze, attempting to slow your racing heart and steady your ragged breathing. 

“And yet you love it,” he retorts, and you have to bite back a moan as he presses his body against yours. 

“No, I don’t” you say, chest heaving and voice strained, trying to deny your arousal. 

“Tell that to the throbbing between your legs,” he lifts his thigh, letting it rub against your clothed core to accentuate his point. This time, you can’t help the whimper that escapes your throat, your hands coming up to grip his shoulders. 

“Whatever, I still hate you, Loki,” he laughs, low and dark, and it sends a pleasant shiver down your spine. 

“You keep telling yourself that,” he replies, leaning his head down to kiss your neck as you begin to move your hips against his muscular thigh. 

His mouth trails down to your collarbone, sucking and biting into the soft flesh until you’re sure he’ll leave bruises, but right now, you hardly care. One of his hands moves to lightly tug on your hair, angling your neck for better access. You lean into his touch, feeling him smirk as you let out a wanton moan, and rub yourself faster on him. 

Just as you’re about to cum, a loud beeping invades your senses, tearing you out of the dream. 

Your eyes slowly flutter open and you sit up. Reaching over, you shut off your alarm, trying to understand what the hell that was all about. Where did that come from? You really do despise Loki, so why were you having a sex dream about him? And why did it feel so good? 

You shake your head and get out of bed, throwing on a fresh pair of clothes as you try to push the dream to the back of your mind. You have more important things to worry about. 

You make your way down to the kitchen, stretching your arms and letting out a loud yawn, eager to get some food in your belly. You arrive rather quickly, immediately going over to the cabinet to find something suitable for breakfast.  Unsurprisingly, Steve is already seated at the counter, drinking his morning coffee. 

“Good morning,” he says, greeting you with a smile. 

“Morning,” you reply, returning the gesture as you continue to search for sustenance. 

You finally find what you’re looking for, but it’s a little too high up for you to reach. Determined, you stand on your tippy toes and extend your arm as far as it will go, grunting at the effort. Just as you are about to climb onto the counter, an arm reaches up past you, grabbing the item you were so desperately trying to get and offering it to you. 

“Here,” Loki’s voice sends an involuntary shiver down your spine and you snatch the item out of his hand. 

“I could’ve gotten it myself,” you say, refusing to even look at him. 

“You’re welcome,” he replies, a hint of amusement in his tone, making you groan in frustration. You do your best to ignore him, focusing instead on preparing your meal, but you can feel his eyes boring into you, his presence saturating the room and invading your every sense. Eventually, you turn to face him. 

“Can I help you?” your tone is harsh, but Loki seems completely unbothered, regarding you with that infuriating smirk of his. 

“What’s got you so worked up? Bad dreams?” he teases, a knowing look in his eye, and you visibly tense. 

“As a matter of fact, yes, I did have bad dreams last night,” you cross your arms over your chest and glare at him, which only makes his smile grow wider as he steps closer. 

“Really? What about?” his voice is still laced with mirth and you attempt to make yourself taller. 

“None of your business. Now could you leave me alone so I can make my breakfast?” with a huff, you turn back around and continue to work on your meal, but Loki refuses to yield. 

“Now why would I do that when you’re my main source of entertainment?” he speaks directly into your ear, causing you to jump involuntarily. He laughs, clearly delighted by your reactions, and you whip around to face him again. 

“I’m not in the mood,” you growl, poking his chest with your finger. He takes a step back, that smile still ever present on his face, and studies you intently. 

“Is that so? What a shame. And here I thought we were having fun,” he tilts his head to the side and sticks out his bottom lip in an overexaggerated pout. You roll your eyes. 

“There is no ‘we’, just you and your stupid games,” 

“You seem to be participating, though. That makes you a player, does it not?” he regards you curiously, waiting for your response, and you sigh deeply, shaking your head in disdain. 

“I hate you,” you mutter under your breath as you turn back around to finish your task. 

“No, you don’t” he replies, and you freeze, surprised at both the fact that he heard you and that those are the exact words he said in your dream. 

You can feel him watching you, waiting for a reaction, so you choose to instead remain silent as you work, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reply. It proves rather difficult, though, with the suffocating weight of his gaze compelling trembles to ripple over your flesh. Despite the discomfort, you do your best to ignore him, and with a bit of effort, you finally finish preparing your breakfast. 

Not even giving him a passing glance, you quickly make your way to the dining room. You settle into one of the plush seats surrounding the large glass table and begin devouring your meal. Lucky for you, it seems Loki must have grown bored of teasing you, so you are able to eat in relative peace. 

Once you finish, you clean up your mess and decide a shower will help relieve some of the remaining tension from your encounter. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about that dream, and seeing as you woke up before you could reach your peak, you’re in desperate need of release. The fact that Loki is the one making you feel all this infuriates you to no end, but right now, you’re too horny to care. 

***

Finally in the privacy of your bathroom, you swiftly remove your clothing and hop into the shower, reveling in the feeling of warm water cascading over your form. As you wash your body, you remember the details of the dream, and one hand glides down your stomach, digits brushing delicately over your clit. 

Your eyes flutter shut as you lean your head back. You let out a soft sigh of satisfaction, pressing a little harder and slowly moving your fingers in circles. With your free hand, you grab your breast and squeeze slightly, pinching the nipple every once in a while as you continue to work towards your climax. 

An involuntary gasp of Loki’s name passes your lips as you slide one finger inside, continuing to rub your clit with your thumb as you find that sweet spot deep within you. Picking up the pace, you bite your lip in an attempt to stifle your wanton moans as you rub faster, feeling an orgasm rapidly approaching. Just as you are about to crash over the edge, a sultry voice makes you stop in your tracks. 

“And here I thought you hated me,” 

Your eyes snap open and you instantly try to cover yourself as you prepare to scream at the intruder. All words fly out the window, though, as you realize who it is. 

Loki stands in front of the shower, steamy glass the only thing separating the two of you as he stares at you with dark, lust blown eyes. A tiny part of you is embarrassed, but that feeling is pushed to the back of your mind as an infuriatingly heady thirst takes center stage. 

Without thinking, you throw the shower door open and pull him in with you, crashing your lips against his. With a flash of green, he is completely naked too, and you use the opportunity to run your hands over his shoulders before harshly pushing him against the wall. 

"That's twice now you've kept me from orgasming," you growl, grabbing his hair and ruthlessly tugging it, forcing his head back. A low chuckle escapes him. 

"Is that so? When was the first?" He smirks, chest heaving and cheeks flushed. 

With a frustrated snarl, you roughly release him, letting his head fall against the tile as you turn away from him. You bury your face in your hands and sigh, fighting the urge to scream. 

"You're infuriating," as soon as the words leave your mouth, you realize that it's more dialogue directly from your dream. 

"And yet-" 

"Don't," you cut off Loki's next words, knowing exactly what he was going to say. 

You turn to face him again as a realization dawns on you, eyes going wide as you meet his gaze. 

"It was you!" Raising a finger to point at him accusingly, you start putting the pieces together. 

"I'm afraid you'll have to elaborate," he replies, but the smug look on his face tells you that he already knows exactly what you're talking about. 

"My dream!" You exclaim, heat flaring up within you at the memory. 

"What dream?" He tilts his head to the side, feigning innocence. 

"Don't play dumb!" You stalk toward him and grab his hair again, giving it a brutal wrench. He sucks in a breath, all joking gone from his expression as it turns to one of submission. 

"Okay, yes, I may have altered your dream a touch," he admits, blushing like a schoolboy. 

"What the hell is wrong with you? You can't just go messing around in people's heads!" 

"Well, it wouldn't have worked if you didn't want it to. I can't completely control someone's mind. I just planted a seed, your imagination did the rest," 

"Liar! I would never want something like that!" You practically scream, but uncertainty begins to blossom in your racing heart. 

"Are you sure about that?" His voice comes out barely above a whisper, dark eyes focused on your lips, and all logical thoughts burn away with the intense heat of your carnal desire. 

"Fuck it," you say, before kissing him with bruising force, using his hair to angle him right where you want. 

His hands immediately come to rest on your hips, squeezing and kneading at the flesh as you feverishly move your lips against his. He pulls you flush to his chest, his erection pressing into your belly, and you moan into his mouth. You grind on him, desperate for more friction. 

"See? You have to like me at least a bit to kiss me like that," Loki quips against your mouth, making you pull away to look at him. You emit a guttural sound and wrap your hand around his throat. 

"I'd like you a lot more if you shut up," you put a slight pressure on your grip and he blushes as a lewd cry escapes him at the feeling. 

"Better yet," you say, an idea taking form in your head, "why don't you put that mouth to good use," 

"What did you have in mind?" He whimpers and you release your hold on his neck, moving your hands to his shoulders, slowly pushing him to his knees. He obediently complies. 

"Make me cum," you say, spreading your legs as you tug on his raven locks, eliciting a delicious groan from the god. 

"As you wish," he says breathlessly, before leaning forward and burying his face in your aching sex. 

He wastes no time, immediately getting to work as he licks and sucks at your most sensitive parts. You grunt in satisfaction, bucking your hips up as you begin to ride his face, his skilled tongue working in tandem with your movements. He lets out a low, hungry growl, sending pleasurable vibrations right to your core. 

Loki eagerly follows your lead while you guide his head to all the right spots. He slides his hand up your thigh, teasing your dripping folds with his slender fingers before slipping one inside, and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips. You feel him smirk against your clit, so you roughly tug his curls to remind him who’s in charge, but then he adds another finger and you almost collapse from the intense pleasure. 

“Oh fuck!” you exclaim as he pumps his digits in and out, slowly picking up the pace. Then, he closes his lips around your sensitive bud, sucking hard, and your orgasm slams into you with potent force. He helps you ride it out all the way before pulling back to look up at you through hooded eyes. 

An involuntary whine leaves you at the sight of him - on his knees, face glistening with your release, expression submissively blissed out - and you could cum again from the view alone. 

"On your feet," you say suddenly, and he immediately stands up. In this moment, you realize just how much taller he is than you, and a new wave of arousal flows through your body at the thought. 

You swap places with him and lean against the wall, looking up at him with hazy eyes before saying:

"Fuck me," 

He lets out a feral groan and pushes you roughly into the tile, pressing his mouth against yours with reckless abandon. His hands roam your form, squeezing at the supple flesh, and your body reacts to his every touch. 

You let out a small sigh at the taste of your own release on his tongue, savoring every graze of his palms over the curves of your figure. 

Suddenly, he leans back to look at your face, a serious expression on his own. 

“If I’m to have you, I’d prefer a bed,” his eyes search yours and you can’t help but laugh. He regards you quizzically and you speak between your giggles. 

“That’s what you’re worried about right now?” you say, but after a quick look around, you find yourself agreeing. “Okay, you might be right,” 

With that, he teleports the both of you to what you can only assume is his bedroom. You don’t even have a chance to look around before his mouth is on yours again, his long tongue swiping your bottom lip as if asking for permission. You gladly grant him access and commence a battle for dominance, one you quickly win. 

You guide him back towards the bed, hands exploring every inch of his body, until finally, you reach down to grip his hardened member. He groans into your mouth, bucking his hips against your palm. You smirk, pulling away to peer at him, noting his acquiescent expression. 

“Are you gonna be a good boy for me?” you say, stroking him slowly. 

“Yes, please, I’ll do anything,” he pants, and a wicked thought forms in your mind. 

“Anything?” 

“Yes, anything,” 

A satisfied sigh escapes your lips and you push him onto the mattress, moving to stand over him. He leans back on his hands and watches you intently, studying your every move. 

“Lay down,” you instruct and he quickly readjusts himself. You climb onto his lap and straddle him, setting yourself on his stomach, just above his erection. He starts to reach for you, but you slap his hands away. 

“No touching,” you say firmly and he whines, but after giving him a pointed look, he obeys. “Good boy,” you continue, slowly running your hands over his chest, enjoying the way he whimpers. It is clear that he is struggling not to touch you, hands curled into fists as they grip the bed sheets. 

Your fingers wander further up until they reach his neck. You gently wrap your hand around his throat and squeeze, feeling him buck his hips as a strained sob sounds from within. 

“You like that?” you ask, and he nods as best as he can from his position, a wonderful blush dusting his cheeks. 

You press harder and grind against him, feeling a mix of his precum and your own release between your thighs. 

“Such a pathetic plaything, getting off on me choking you,” you practically moan as you use your free hand to position his member so you can slide down onto it. Both of you let out a pleased cry at the relief of the sensation, and you continue to drop down until you are fully seated on his cock. 

Keeping one hand on his throat, you use the other to brace yourself on his chest as you begin to move, slowly working yourself towards your second climax. 

“Please,” he chokes out and you loosen your grip slightly in order to let him speak. “Let me touch you,” you think on it for a moment before quickly coming to a decision. 

“No,” you say, slamming down on him particularly hard and gripping his neck with more force than before. He lets out a delightful noise and writhes underneath you. You feel your orgasm rapidly approaching, and with the way his cock twitches inside you, you know he’s close too. Increasing your speed, you put more pressure on his throat and say, “Cum for me,” 

Just as the words leave your mouth, he explodes inside of you, filling you up as you reach your own high. You ride it out to the end before collapsing on his chest, both of you panting heavily as you try to catch your breath. 

A long moment passes as you feel him soften inside of you. Once you’ve gained back a little energy, you gently remove yourself from his lap and stand. 

“Where are you-” Loki starts, but you quickly cut him off. 

“To finish my shower. We might as well get cleaned up, right?” you say, extending a hand to him in a silent invitation to join you. He smiles and gets up, walking over to you and lacing your fingers together as you both make your way to the bathroom.

[zxphy]

Okayy so you wanted some ideas, right? I saw your incel! Scaramouche post and I was wondering what your thoughts are on a yandere incel! Xiao? It's a popular idea but I really love it and maybe you could write it for Fem! Reader or Gn! Reader if you don't write fem! Readers

☆ No bitches?

Yandere! Incel! Xiao x Fem! Reader

Tws/cws: Xiao, misogyny, women beating, domestic abuse, use of the word "retard", implied noncon, fem aligned reader lmfao, gaslighting, doxxing, rape and murder threats, and non consensual groping. Multiple spelling mistakes are present. Both you and Xiao are 18.

Smut written by a minor, dni if uncomfortable.

Xiao was your best friend since childhood, but as you both got older into adult hood, he started acting different.

A lot more grabby and forceful. He was unable to get a girlfriend or get laid, so he went to reddit and 4chan to vent his frustrstions, there he met lots of people just like him.

He may or may not have asked them "why do women not like me", getting multiple misogynistic replies. Bro was easily manipulated then turned into a self proclaimed "incel" in about a month. He believed everything his new group of friends said.

He always talked about his discord servers and his gross friends to you, saying how they give him the best advice and their misogynistic views about how women should know their place and yada yada.

You started to hang out with him less and less, as Xiao grew incredibly insufferable. Just being near him made you uncomfortable, you were scared of even being in the same room as him.

Even though you hardly talked to him, yiu still interacted online because hey! He's been your best friend since birth you don't have the heart to end the friendship.. :(

The less time you spent with Xiao, the more time you spent with Aether, one of his best friends. Xiao obviously took notice of thst, and his huge crush on you did NOT help.

Xiao considered himself a nice guy, thinking he deserved sex from "females". Complaining that girls only want Chads who just use them for their body and leave, as if incels aren't the same thing but worse.

You wanted to help him you know.. NOT have that mindset, but his stupid 4chan friends kept encouraging his disgusting way of thinking!! :(

At sometime, Xiao eventually confessed his love for you. But honestly, you kind of expected that to happen considering you were the only chick that even looked in his direction, let alone talked to him. You let him down as lightly as you can, trying not to set him off. Cause from what you heard, self proclaimed incels usually never take "no" for an answer and take every rejection personally.

"I'm sorry Xiao, it's not you.. it's me." Oh it's definately him.

"But I'm a nice guy! I'll treat you well and get everything you want. I have a job, I can spoil you!" Ah. That would make sense as to where he gets all the money to blow on hentai from.

"I just don't have any feelings for you besides platonic ones. I'm sorry and I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship." You begin to sweat, praying you didn't set him off.

Xiao looked down to the ground at his feet and sighed. "I understand." You sigh in relief, until Xiao says this,

"Can I at least have a hug?" Oh fuck.

You begin to sweat more and nodded slowly, "S-sure man.." you open your arms out for a hug and Xiao embraces you tightly, good fucking god he smells disgusting. When was the last time he showered?? It should be common knowledge that axe body isn't a substitution for showers. The scents clash in a way that make your nose hairs burn and your toes curl. It took everything out of you to not gag.

But on the other hand, Xiao was in heaven, you smell so good! His face is in your hair and he takes a big whiff and he shudders, obviously enjoying himself. It's been forever since he's been so close to a girl, let alone YOU.

His hands slowly trail down from your back and get lower, eventually he had his hands on your ass and gave it a a light squeeze. You push him away and laugh nervously and wave him good bye, leaving him by yourself.

Days go by and you started getting mysterious phone calls, text messages and messages on your social media from anonymous people. Majority of them being death and rape threats.

Anonymous672

U stupid bitch why did u leave him to go fuck his best friend??

And another,

(777-777-777)

Im gonna rape u then kill u in an alleyway u deserve it stupid whore.

And another,

Anonymous929

I know your address.

And another...

Anonymous476

Get ready to get raped!

And... another.

(555-555-555)

He's gonna put you in your place, whore.

One time you even got a phone call and it qqs just a guy heavily breathing into the phone then threatening to rape you and then bury your body in the woods for "rejecting a perfectly nice guy."

At that point it was kind of obvious as to why you're getting such threats. Either Xiao has been using alt accounts and throwaway numbers or he had doxxed you to his other "nice guy" friends. You were honestly pissed, was he THAT butthurt because you didn't want to have sex with him? He needs to get a fucking life. Xiao used to be an amazing guy, your best friend, but now his stupid "nice guy" phase tore you both apart. You thought the rejection went well, that he'd be normal about it, but then he goes doxxing a girl because she didn't want to have sex with him? What the fuck?

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and started looking for Xiao's number, you hit him a message.

(You)

Xiao. Read 1:44pm.

(You)

XIAO. Read 1:57pm.

(You)

XIAO ANSWER ME, FUCKWAD. Read 2:00pm.

I know what you did. Read 2:00pm.

(Weird Fuck)

??

(You)

Xiao did you fucking doxx me?? Are you retarded? What the fuck is wrong with you, people keep threatening to rape and kill me you fucking ass wipe. Read 2:01pm.

(Weird Fuck)

Im sorry just meet me at my place

(You)

What?? No dawg, I'm not gonna go to your fucking house, I wanna know why you fucking doxxed me, we were literally best friends before you became a fucking misogynist. Why did you doxx me?? Read 2:02pm.

(Weird Fuck)

Come over and ill tell u

(You)

Kys. Read 2:02pm.

You shoved your phone back in your pocket and you huffed. Who does that fucker think he is?? All because you wouldn't date him!!

You being you, you still went to his home to get answers. He didn't deny doxxing you which ulset you even more. His dick probs got hard just by you texting him. (He did :3) You're sick of sll the threats, you just want it to stop. You just want Xiao to stop his bitchless behaviour. Now you're gonna do something about it.

-------------------------------------------------------

You walk up to the lavish home and knocked on the door. Of course Xiao still lives with his dad instead of doing something productive like going to colledge like his twin sister Ganyu. You folded your arms and waited. You assumed that Mr. Zhongli wasn't home because you heard some random porn game from the third story window, Xiao's room.

You knocked again, but this time louder. You heard the game pause, then a door slamming, then rapid footsteps going down stairs. You hesrd a voice from behind the door.

"Are you the delivery guy?" *Xiao.*

"No fuckwad." You replied back. The door slowly swung open, revealing Xiao. He looked a lot more gross than you remember, he looked incredibly dishevled, with messy greasy hair, a random tshirt with very suspcious stains and dandruff on it, baggy gray sweatpants that aldo had a suspcious stain, but this time on the crotch area, and a pair of perscription glasses, the frame kind of similar to yours. But what you really could not get over, was the smell. He smelled like he hasn't showered in months, he smells entirely of spoilt food, semen, body odor and sweat. Disgusting.

"You look and smell like shit." You push past Xiao and walk into the lovely home.

"You came." He mumbled.

Of course you came, you wanted to know why the fuck he'd doxx you. He grossed you out comepletely, he was a digusting good for nothing freak. Xiao was actually a nice guy, he got good grades, was super sweet to everyone and made his father proud.

Xiao avoided eye contact and told you to follow him to his room, so you both could talk. You shook your head, feeling uneasy.

"Mr. Zhongli isn't home, why not talk here?" He ignored your question and walked up the stairs. You followed behind but kept a reasonable distance. Reasonable being several feet.

Xiao opened his bedroom door and you were immedately met with a horrible stench, his room smelled like him but worse. It smelt like semen, piss and shame. His room was covered in hentai posters and anime girl figurines, his clothes thrown all over the floor, and in the corner there was a really expensive looking gaming set up.

He could afford a multi-monitor gaming set up but not deoderant?

What couldn't go unnoticed was the collection of stiff socks gathering in a pile near his bed.

"Xiao what the hell? Your room is a fucking biohazard, feels like I need a gas mask and a hazmat suit just to be in here." You felt sorry for his father, you couldn't imagkne what it feels like having a son just like Xiao.

You walked into the room, being careful of wjere you step, Xiao sits in his gaming chair and then types a message into his Discord chat. He then got back up and cleared a space on his bed, throwing whatever was previously there onto the floor. "You can uh.. sit there."

You shook your head, but then you looked back at Xiao and he looked like he was about to cry. You felt bad so you sat anyway. You're definately burning this skirt when you get home.

You got a proper look around the room, not only seeing the weird posters, but pictures of you.

.

.

.

Creepy...

Xiao sat in his gaming chair and swung side to side, he looked nervous. Sweating as he looked at you.

You finally spoke up breaking the awkward silence. "So Xiao, why did fuck did you doxx me?" Xiao stayed silent and looked away from you. This really set you off. "Don't ignore me you asswipe! I've been getting threats of violent rape, I home you know you committed a cyber crime!"

"Relax, (Name.)" Xiao said still not looking at you. "It's not that serious." You scoffed and felt yourself getting more mad.

"Not that serious? NOT THAT SERIOUS?? Xiao! For the love of fucking christ, people are threatening to kill me! Why would you doxx me?!" You raised your voice at him, and you saw him get more nervous.

"Well.. I-I don't know I just. Me and you were like really close, but then you started fucking Aether.." You huffed, even more angry than before, "God fucking damnit Xiao! I'm trying to not fucking strangle you, but you're making it so hard!" You stood up and continued yelling, "You were so cool until you started acting like this! Kf course women won't like you if you keep thinking that she's gonna hop on your gross cock, Xiao! No one wants your tiny penis, I can assure that!"

You folded your arms and contued, "Sorry you feel so offended because I feel SAFE around Aether! He doesn't talk about how women's only purpose is to have kids and serve her mans or whatever, unlike YOU!"

Xiao fumbled with the draw strings on his sweatpants, "I-I don't know I uh just thought that you'd like me I g-guess.."

You face palmed. "Xiao. You doxxed me because I didn't want to date you? Dude! I explicitly told you that I have zero attraction to you. I only have PLATONIC feelings for you man. We had a good friendship but your gross ways ruined it-"

Xiao interupted you, "I'm a nice guy (Name), I'll treat you right. You're not like other females.."

"Oh my fucking god, Xiao..." you pinched the bridge of your nose. "I cannot believe that you think any girl would want to date YOU! A gross, disgusting people of shit incel like you! You're retarded if you think any girl would want your gross penis inside of her!"

Xiao stood up, "Fuck you (Name)!" You staggered back, surpised of his sudden outburst.

"Females like yourself are the problem. All you do is fuck chads and leave actjal nice sigmas in the dust!"

You blinked before letting out a laugh. "PFFTT!!! Dawg! Fuck this shit for real, and you know what? I'ma go to Aether's place to fuck him! How doed thst make you feel, Xiao? You gonna cry??" You flicked him off before getting up, walking to leave the room.

Suddenly your arm gets grabbed and you're pulled back, thrown onto the floor. Xiao gets on top of you and punches you square in the nose. You let out a loud squeal of pain.

"Xiao what the fu-" Xiao picks you up from under your arms and puts on on his bed, he starts feeling up your body, his hands trailing up yojr skirt, fumbling with the hem of your safety shorts.

You kicked him in the stomach and punched him in his face, Xiao staggered back and held his stomach as his glassed fell off his face, you took the chance and pushed him off you and ran.

Unfortunately for you, you tripped on the wires spewn about his room and you fell, Xiao took this opportunity and turned you around and kicked you until you stopped fighting. As an extra measure, Xiao grabbed your head, lifted it slightly then slammed it back down into the floor. You gripped your head in pain and whined.

"Xiao? What the fuck.." you wince. Xiao once again picks you up, and drops you onto his head, his hands trailing up your skirt. He lifts it slightly and pull down your safety shorts revealing your panties. His obvious erection poking through his sweatpants. Xiao went back to his gaming chair and once again started typing on his discord server, before getting up and locking his bedroom door. Too busy holding onto your head and lightly crying in pain, you had not noticed that he actually did lock the door.

The teen walked back over to you, took your shoes off and peeked off your safety shorts. He got close to you and whispered into your ear, "How does it feel to be put in your place?" He slapped you playfully.

Xiao shoved down his pants, his hard cock springing out. He hasn't shaved in a while, revealing curly black n green pubes covering his pelvic area. The tears that were threatening to fall, have fell, hot tears flowing down your cheeks hoping that Xiao isn't gonna do what you think he's gonna do.

"Xiao please. Don't do this.." You looked up at him in fear. Xiao ignored you and pulled off your panties, revealing your pussy. He threw them into a random direction. He pressed himself against you.

You're struggling to process what the fuck is going on, you're being held down, Xiao's dick is rubbing against you and half your clothes are missing.

Xiao then tore off your tshirt and threw the shreds in another random direction, then took off your bra, groping your chest the second he saw your tits.

"You're so fucking pretty.. and you're all mine." Xiao took his fingers and spread apart your lips, revealing your lovely pink insides. Xiao shoved two of his fingers inside of you just to test and you yelped.

"Fuck yeah, you're tight as balls." Xiao removed his fingers and quickly replaced his fingers with his thick cock.

He then slammed inside of you, putting his hands around your neck.

You're his now.

ANDDD.. DONE! I'M SO GLAD I HAD THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE THIS..

I honestly think I got a little too into it, anyway I hope you guys enjoy! :3

@mistywaves98