#rip to me because now i gotta draw the collar lol

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Test Track AU (T$$ AU Masterlist)

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tag list:

@theonewithallthefixations , @violets-whumperflies , @whump-me , @pirefyrelight , @soheavyaburden , @snakebites-and-ink , @whumpsday , @kixngiggles , @echo-goes-aaa @suspicious-whumping-egg , @cryptidwritings , @painsandconfusion , @grizzlie70 , @bloodsweatandpotato , @ladyblogofficialreporter @whumper-soot , @poeticagony

[benichi]

I played Chou no Doku (so you don’t have to) - Mizuhito’s Route Part 3

I had planned for this to be the last part but I can’t cut everything down as much as I wanted to so the suffering shall end not just yet. Since I took such a long break I actually had to replay the latter half of the game cause my brain has rejected most of those memories to save at least a bit of the sanity I have left lol. But I promised to do this and I’m commited to see it through! I am the top Chou no Doku blog after all 😂 Also SPOILER warning. I put it under the read more last time but since it’s a thing they talk about constantly now I can’t do that anymore.

When we left off the last time Majima and Yuriko were having a ... sensual? moment in the garden with some vegetables. Apparently their... activities left her feeling invigorated.

After coming to the conclusing that that the vegetables made her feel alive (and definitely not the BJ instructions Majima gave her on a cucumber) Yuriko retreats to her room. While thinking about her brother she’s interrupted by a visitor: and who else could it be but Shiba. Mizuhito has also come to entertain said man (or rather to mark his territory) As usual the two men end up bickering like 5 year olds as Mizuhito tries to display how poor the family is doing in order to ward Shiba off. Since Yuriko tries to smooth things over at least a little bit her “brother” decides to run off to a Brothel once again.

Yuriko is irritated since he’s about to break his promise and ends up chasing him down. As I said this is like watching a bunch of children squabble.

If only it were just siblings being dramatic.

Here’s where the magic happens. Yuriko spends paragraphs explaining that her brother is still her family - even if they’re not related by blood and so on.

Can’t I just become a single old cat lady

I love how she calls him Brother in the same sentence that’s supposed to sell me that she loves him romantically.

But one choice later she’s all over him and saying stuff like “I’ve finally caught him” I mean wtf girl you promoted him from family to Lover in under a minute. So they end up huddling close together and Yuriko once again has her “mmm gotta talk about smell” moment. I think this gives us a pretty good idea what the sax scenes in the original are like lol.

Shiba eventually stumbles upon them and is obviously not happy with what he’s seeing. He parts ways with Yuriko by whispering into her ear that this Brother of hers is her biggest flaw. I mean he’s dishing out the truth, let the man talk.

I felt that.

I’m gonna puke. Cue gross moment of “Ohhh I’m a bad big brother because I want to kiss my little sister” “Noo we can’t to that Onii-chan” “Aww let’s at least try to see if we feel ~g u i l t y~” like my dude wtf. Honestly this scene was gross imo because he totally coaxed her into this and she just kind of convinces herself that kissing him is so  a w e s o m e despite initially being totally against it like yikes.

WELL MAYBE CAUSE YOU LIVED AS SIBLINGS FOR  Y E A R S

Voila, I told you.

Despite what one may think he doesn’t want to draw her nude yet. Since he makes such a big deal out of her being his ~innocent~ little sister Yuriko survived this encounter with her innocence still intact.

On the next day their Grandma pays them a visit to assess the current situation. Obviously the 1. solution to every problem in this game is either murder or getting hitched to someone that’s wealthy. Grandma proposes the latter.

They can’t decline her proposals immediately to avoid suspicion but to the two of them it’s clear that they want to keep their “relationship” going. Or maybe it’s not so clear because Mizuhito starts acting like a jelly 5 year old again.

Maybe it would help if you stopped calling him Brother with every breath you take.

Afterwards Yuriko models for him, but Mizuhito soon becomes distracted because he knows that even if they reject the current marriage proposals there will always be new ones incoming. He says that it will ~break him if Yuriko were to marry another Man (my dude let me tell you: you were just fine in the other routes I’ve played so far).

This shit so stupid even the game can’t take all of it.

A few days later Kyoko invites the two for dinner at her house. When Mizuhito leaves the room for a bit and after Yuriko whines about that:

Seriously why does everyone here have the mind of a child.

Kyoko takes the chance to tell Yuriko about the Geisha that her ... Brother... Lover?! what do I even call these two lol. The one her BroLover had been visiting frequently. Apparently she still posseses something that belong to Mizuhito and Kyoko wants to (find out if Yuriko and Mizuhito are facking) figure out how to relay this information to him. Obviously Yuriko with her 5 year old mind doesn’t want her lover visiting the Geisha so she asks Kyoko to keep it a secret.

On the way home we are subjected to another make out scene because Mizuhito got h*rny from Yuriko’s gaze. This scene is more “intense” to tell us that the frick frack is coming up soon but not quite yet.

If I took a shot every time she says Brother or Family then maybe I wouldn’t have to suffer like this.

I don’t know about you but I certainly don’t exchange gentle kisses with my older Brother.

After calming his raging... emotions Mizuhito says that they shouldn’t go too far since he thinks of Yuriko as special. Yuriko however feels “betrayed” by this like heavens forbid he didn’t rip her clothes off and bonk her in a dark dirty alleyway. How dare he.

In order to prevent Mizuhito from potentially bonking that Geisha who still has one of his “things” in a dark dirty alleyway instead Yuriko concludes that sending someone else to visit the Brothel is a great idea. She decides to ask Majima, her first love in case you forgot, and goes to visit him. When Mizuhito questions where she’s going in the middle of the night she comes up with the most convincing excuse ever:

Marvelous.

We’ll leave things here for now. So how will Yuriko’s first love react to this odd request? And how does this clusterfuck of a story end? You’ll find out in the (this time for real) final next part!

(The last part will definitely be up before Thursday cause I’ll be focused on Collar x Malice Unlimited then)

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

u guys know how crystalisks change color depending on element?

ohhh yeah

tl;dr: i went off on crystalisks for a while, started talking about vault monsters/guardians and siren tattoos, bloodwing, krieg, the elemental hierarchy, the bandits that got mutated by the vault key piece, the eridian ruins powering up, the moon [elpis] being teleported in that new vid we got with steve and claptrap, i rant about eleseer and technologically created pocket dimensions (heyo), and also there’s commander lily spoilers in here so be warned

i talked about a lot of things. i promise i linked them all together. somehow.

so we got the normal crystalisks that do explosive stuff

got Blue (the aptly named big blue crystalisk) that deals shock damage

(we also see a few more in hayter’s folly)

got Rouge the red one that deals fire damage

I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen any green crystalisks since they’re pretty common in the caustic caverns.

anyway the reason im bringing this up now is because a very very long time ago (jesus christ, 2017) i had a theory that crystalisks were kinda like pets to the Eridians, like guard dogs of the ruins in the caustic caverns. which could explain why they were friendly (iirc Blue was even playing fetch with Booth) until Dahl started mining them

mostly cause of the guardian ruins everywhere

also, they show up in the Vault of the Warrior, as well. which is curious.

the other reason im bringing this up now is because im wondering if their crystals have any relation whatsoever to the purple crystals we see sprouting out of the ground in bl3.

they hang out in the ground when not active, mimicking said crystals, and there are yellow crystals sprouting out of the ground in bl2 that, when meleed, produce the same crystals crystalisks do when they die. (tho now im wondering if we’ve just been senselessly murdering crystalisk babies :|)

bonus: we know threshers are native to elpis, not pandora, and their blood is green. Crystalisk blood is blue, which could possibly hint at the fact they’re an alien species to Pandora. AFAIK rakk, skag, bullymong, stalker, and spiderant blood is all red. and so is bandit blood. (unless they’ve been huffing Eridium sludge like Zarpedon. then it glows purple i guess.)

anyway

you guys know how vault monsters change color based on element?

just recently fought this bad boy so i have a plethora of pictures

(this one is cryo)

(slag/base- which you know, makes sense. gotta slag em before u can swap guns)

(this one is shock)

nasty boy

also, interesting to note: we never got ‘explosive’ as an element with the sentinel and in bl3, explosive was taken out of the element list

you know how Siren tattoos also change color based on element?

sorry i would show amara’s green/corrosive tattoos BUT this was the leaked clip that i had on hand

ohhhh yeah.

now we know Siren tattoos are blue when using their base powers. according to amara, this blue means electricity is the ‘base’ element for sirens (which just plain isn’t true given what we’ve seen with maya and lilith, unless they show that further in bl3 where lilith uses phasewalk without her tattoos going red... which I’m guessing will not happen lol)

which has me like 🤔

we know in the original borderlands the vault key is blue for the vault of the destroyer

in all it’s technological glory

then it changes to purple in bl2. and apparently, we even get red in bl3.

so i know what you’re thinking “well blue must be the base element then” but imma posit that it’s actually not

We know the sentinel, when it comes out of the Vault, the first element it is is ‘purple’ (aka slag/eridium i guess, since slag isn’t in TPS). which, as we said above, makes sense.

we know the Warrior was a biological weapon built/modified by the Eridians for... some reason. It was under complete control of whoever opened the Vault. (the warrior actually has 2 elements afaik, the slag tail/wings and the fire)

I wanna say we were SUPPOSED to open the Vault of the Warrior first. Then open the Vault of the Destroyer and annihilate it with our new cool biological weapon

so then the order would be purple -> blue -> uhhh something something

oh and Siren tattoos appear to always be purple when interacting with Eridium stuff

like when Lily touches the vault key in the Vault of the Warrior, her tattoos glow purple

when Lilith is being mind controlled by Jack/the collar/charging Eridium her tattoos are purple

etc etc

also MAJOR COMMANDER LILY SPOILERS BELOW

her tattoos glow purple during the final cutscene i believe. bonus i’m pretty sure the vault map was glowing white when inside hector. it was still purple on the outside tho soooo take that as you will. i had a picture but i removed it because i didn’t wanna spoil anything for anyone. the whispy bits do remind me of angel’s wings

SPOILERS ARE DONE

dunno if any of this is important but i will say

when u fight a badass skag that’s been charged by an element and is implied to be the result of eridium runoff aka slag? mmm that’s the good shit.

Bloodwing?? her base color is purple. but jack is able to change her element based on outside stimuli (and, again, explosive isn’t actually seen as an element, just a joke... a really... fucked up... joke...)

we also know a lot of the bandits were mutated by the vault key (piece?) in sledge’s mine. might help explain burning psychos (the ones that are literally on fire). 

also maybe the eridian ruins are starting to give off ‘radiation’. you know how the original Eridian Ruins in BL1 were like white/blueish and then all the ones we find in BL2 are purple-ish? maybe they started charging up once the first Vault was opened and that allowed more and more bandits to start getting 

borderlands 1

vs

borderlands 2

(sorry for the shitty screencap, i hope it’s clear enough)

oh also maybe krieg’s ability to breathe fire and light himself on fire since he was a hyperion experiment. dunno if they did slag testing on him or not but... all things considered... it’s a probably maybe. wasn’t his assassin’s assassin the woman in the ECHO logs you find around the WEP?

also Terry the thresher? probably mutated like hell from living in those Vault ruins. might explain the size. also threshers being from the moon might just give them the fire/wormhole abilities inherently. since apparently the moon is some top secret eridian base that can see the future. im not even surprised. also you know. terry drops e-tech stuff upon decimation.

anyway i think Pandora is a lot older than Elpis and that’s why Elpis appears super fucking high-tech compared to Pandora’s ruins.

I mean look at the above then look down here

which makes sense, you’d make the planet before you make the moon yeah?

so elpis was probably put in place to watch over Pandora, maybe the Destroyer and the Warrior’s fight or maybe even to predict the future of that fight. maybe the eridians got paranoid and were like ‘fuck this’ and vanished because they were told they couldn’t win.

i do go into that whole theory of ‘zarpedon saw what the twins are about to do in bl3 and jack ain’t shit’ in an older post of mine so i won’t go into it here, but that’s another option as to why the eridians just booked it the hell outta dodge

bonus: in tycho’s ribs, some of the glowy lights are not actually purple, they’re red-ish

which has me thinking about the glowing red Vault Map we see in the Dev trailer. wonder if that’s going to lead up to elpis

oh! and speaking of elpis

yeah i don’t think that’s just an aesthetic thing cause holy shit

we’re all going to die!

yeah i actually have no idea what’s happening to the moon here

but im going to take a wild guess and draw your attention to that one scene with lilith

when she uhhh teleports in using her firehawk powers

we see it again when tyreen teleports in bandits on promethea

and they look

really

darn

familiar

im not saying we’re gonna teleport the moon but hOLY SHIT would that be F*CKING AWESOME

we also know ‘the moon is the key’ as shown on the cover art sooooo

it’s entirely possible?

which brings me to another point i made a while ago when the booth intro got leaked and i was talking about the ‘vault’ ‘not-vault’ area and decided it was on pandora because of the moon, but made a joke that maybe it wasn’t because i guess we could just move the moon.

what if it actually wasn’t lmao

nah im just playing, i’m pretty sure those are Rakk flying around there, but HEY it’d be cool!

also it’s pretty fucked up what’s happening on elpis considering it looks like it’s being bathed in fire... sucks for everyone on concordia but hey, if it means getting rid of pickle, im game.

OH GOD DAMN IT HE WAS ON SANCTUARY WITH TINA FUC-

anyway.

i wanna move the moon

oh also im still not convinced eleseer isn’t found by going thru a wormhole/alternate dimension/pocket rip/whatever

like, you know how to fight the Sentinel you go inside that giant purple crystal that looks like/is probably eridium? and the arena is WAYYY bigger than it ought to be? and it looks like the outside is made out of glowing graph paper and sick guy fieri flames that’s probably supposed to imply some sort of technological feeling?

oh and it does the “lilith just yeeted u to bloodshot stronghold- just kidding’ effect! which... y’know. my only gripe with that is it actually does appear to be somewhere inside eleseer given if u look at the ceiling it does look to be the same sky you see outside eleseer... but where the fck is eleseer... is it in another dimension inside the moon? bc i still refuse to believe the entire moon is being supported by that area... wouldn’t you see the crust?? somewhere? and it being in another dimension would help explain the whole ‘yeah you’re exactly where you were five seconds ago... but also you’re not because you’re in this arena and it’s clipping except it’s not so even though the sky looks the same because you’re in the same exactly spot you were in 5 seconds ago, you’re actually not (but you are)’. because what the fuck my scrub brain can’t comprehend that!

but god i wanna know if the eridians were harnessing the power of eridium and learned how to create pocket dimensions using their technology and fuckin DID IT the mad lads. i mean isn’t that what Vaults are? just little rips in this dimension. it’s the good shit.

also i wanna know why the Destroyer seemed to have pockets of slag/eridium on it’s tentacles when he’s supposed to be the VILLAIN tm of bl1 and also the eridians. might help explain why eridium only starts appearing after you off that physical rendition of him. also [see that one post i made about the crystals being corpses].

wow.

yeah.

i just spent a straight 2 hours doing nothing but typing this post. i should really go to bed. imma go do that

tomorrow i wanna talk about the seraph vendor. cause i can.

[yoongi-sugaglider]

Forget Me Nots

A wealthy young man falls overboard while vacationing with friends only to find himself with amnesia and a pretty young wife who seems determined to remind him what hard work and dedication really mean.

Warnings: Strong language, angry Min Yoongi inaccurately portrayed based upon the writer’s imagination,angst, eventual super fluff.

Pairing: Eventual Min Yoongi x reader

Word count:2695

A/n:So here we have a fresh new fluff chapter~ I was so trying to aim for angst and failed because this story makes me so soft lol. Anyway, the pups mentioned in this chapter are based off of real pups. Champion aka Thunderchicken is based on my three legged Shepherd and Kaia is based on an old friend’s doggo. That being said I will post a picture at the end of the chapter of Champ just to endulge in bragging over my precious boy~ I hope you all enjoy this go round and if you like it let me know~ I thrive on your opinions~

<<Chapter 6---Chapter Eight>>

It had begun raining by the time they managed to make it to her home. The discharge itself had gone smoothly enough. Though a mountain of paperwork had been signed and an hour long wait in the pharmacy for Yoongi’s medication had left them both in a foul mood, everything had gone off without a hitch.

“So...this is home?” The sound of Yoongi’s hesitant words snapped y/n out of her thoughts and she turned to him, her lips turned up into a halfway convincing smile.

“Yea it is. I...I mean we, have been living here for the last 4 years. The rent isn’t too bad, and the neighborhood is nice and quiet so we don’t have to worry about any trouble from the neighbors or anything.”

He nodded, eyes searching the faded yellow paint that covered the facade of the house as if looking for something familiar. The house itself was modest, white trim covering the sills and siding of the roof. The overhang of the porch sagged a bit to the side, leaning as if burdened by the weight of many years of neglect and time. Two weathered wicker chairs stood just to the side of the cream colored front door, looking as if they saw pretty regular use for relaxation on cool summer nights.

His eyes scanned the aged roof, frowning at the beat up look of it. He had a feeling it leaked when it rained and somehow that unsettled him a bit. The front yard itself was small but just beneath the porch there grew several flower beds, all filled with vibrant signs of life in the form of flowers blooming in all shades. For a moment he watched as a butterfly flew from flower to flower, drinking delicately the nectar of life before his eyes returned to his companion’s….wife’s nervous stare.

“Is everything okay?” Her trembling voice filled the car and he cringed at the sound of worry that blended into a pain that crept into his chest at the regret of having made her feel this way.

“It’s fine. I’m just...trying to remember.” His frown lightened a bit and quickly eased into a lighter smile. “I’m fine.” He sent her a reassuring smile, his hand coming to the door handle and tugging at it. “Let’s get inside huh? My head’s starting to ache a bit and I’m kind of starving.” He chuckled, pulling at the door handle again. “No matter how much hospital food a man eats in there you never really get full on it huh?” He tugged at the door handle again, frowning at it as once again it refused to budge.

“Oh, ah.” Y/n reached across him, gently brushing aside his fingers before slowly pulling the door handle up and towards her. “It kinda sticks, you gotta pull up before you pull it towards you.”

He jolted a bit as the door swung open, another frown lighting his face as he stared down at the handle. “Huh…” He huffed as he stepped out of the vehicle, pausing for a moment as the world swirled around. The doctor had mentioned that he’d have to fight a bit with vertigo before it faded away.

Shaking off the feeling he slammed the door behind him, jogging lightly to catch up with y/n as she ascended the front 3 steps.

“Careful on that middle one, it’s old and I swear it’s going to cave in one of these days.” She turned to give him a small smile as her fingers pushed the house key into the lock. “One of these days I’m going to get around to fixing it. I’ve just been so busy what with tourist season and work and..ah...eh…” She shrugged noncommittally.

She held her breath, steeling herself with a silent prayer to the heavens that her friends had come through for her. She was quickly reassured though when she opened the front door and stepped into the entryway that lead to the living room.

Yoongi stepped in behind her, eyes alert as he looked desperately for something familiar.

The living room was modest enough, the pale yellow that’d covered the front of the home continuing on inside. The warm glow of afternoon light that streamed through the front window now that the rain had stopped lent the room a welcoming vibe that instantly set him at ease as it really felt like home. The furniture was older, seeming to be different types of thrift shop finds.

A worn couch sat in the middle of the room, flanked by a waist high end table behind it that was covered in several small animal figurines of various types of blown glass and two small yacht models. The coffee table that stood just before the couch was covered in magazines of different types as well as two coffee mugs that stood atop what looked to be coasters with yachts on them similar to the two figurines. A modest flat screen hung from the wall, slightly crooked in its mount and blankly reflecting the room back at him.

He stared a moment in the reflection of the tv, taking in his fresh out of the hospital look. A loose black jacket covered his thin shoulders, matching black jeans with rips in the knees and a white mask that he’d gotten off one of the nurses just before he’d been discharged hugged the curve of his chin.His hair hung lank and limp in his eyes, a shade of minty green that he frowned deeply at as if it didn’t fit right.

His eyes continued to search for familiarity in the room as y/n set down her keys on the end table beside one of the tiny yachts. He noted the  pairs of shoes by the door, several that looked like they belonged to her along with a pair of work boots that were covered in dried mud and a pair of black tennis shoes that looked like they could have belonged to him.

Y/n padded over to him, having kicked off her shoes in favor of a pair of comfortable looking slippers. She held out a pair of brown slippers to him, the inside covered in soft looking fur that somehow he knew would be comfortable the moment he stepped into them.

“These are yours.” She whispered quietly, a shy look coming over her that caused him to smile down at her sweetly.

“Thank you y/n.” He gently took the slippers from her. A bold moment gripped him and he leaned forward, gently brushing his plush lips against the worried crease between her eyebrows.

“Relax. I’m sure it’ll start coming back to me soon enough.” He gave her a sweet smile, dropping the slippers to the floor before sliding his bare feet into them and sighing at the feel.

“Comfy?” She whispered, a slight blush to her cheeks as she stared up at him from the cover of her long lashes.

He nodded, though his attention was drawn elsewhere when a small whine jerked his attention to the hall that lead deeper into the home.

“Wh...what was that?” He squeaked, his voice higher pitched than she could have ever thought possible.

“Oh that was Champ and Kaia.” She forced her voice to sound cheerful despite the nerves coursing through her.

Oh please let Champ behave himself. She prayed desperately to whichever gods may be listening at the time.

“Ch..Champ and…”

“Kaia? Our dogs. They’ve been locked up in the bedroom since this morning so they’re probably dying to come out and see their Daddy. They missed you Yoongi.” She began making her way to the bedroom, not paying much attention as Yoongi anxiously backed his way onto the sofa.

“Dogs? Those...those don’t sound like dogs.” The whimpering echoed through the house again, the full bodied whine of a German Shepherd waiting to greet his owner.

She gave off a laugh as she rounded the corner, waving a hand dismissively in his cowering direction.

Yoongi whimpered, unsure what to expect as a rush of adrenaline coursed through his veins. The sound of scrambling paws reached his ears, causing him to draw his legs up onto the sofa in a defensive position as the sound of his wife’s voice coo’d through the bedroom door to the beasts.

“It’s alright Champ, mommy’s here. Back up.” There was a paused in which Yoongi stared wide eyed at the dark expanse of the hall.

“That’s a good boy. Wait.” She commanded in a more firm tone before the sound of the door opening reached his ears.

“Champ slow down!” Y/n shouted. Paws scratched at bare wood floor and Yoongi screamed as the sight of a three legged dog raced in his direction. The dog growled and barked all the way, skidding to a stop in front of a still screaming Yoongi who now held up a throw pillow between him and the dog as a means of defense. Close at the large black and white dog’s heels trailed a golden lab, her tail wagging happily and tongue hanging from the corner of her mouth as she barked happily in unison with the shepherd, though her’s was decidedly more happy than threatening.

But the distinction was lost on Yoongi as all he saw was teeth and muscled fur waiting to rip his throat out.

“Champ, oh my god shut up. You know him!” Y/n said as she rounded the corner, hands on her hips and a frown on her lips as she scolded Champ.

The dog glanced back at her, sitting on his haunches and quelling the rumble in his throat as he waited patiently for his Mistress to tell him what to do.

Kaia, her golden fur shining brightly in the evening sunlight had edged her way closer to Yoongi, snoot resting on the edge of the couch as she watched him struggle to crawl farther away from her.

Y/n made her way to the ever escalating situation, snatching at Champ’s collar and pulling him away so that she could reach Yoongi.

“Hey, babe relax.” She held up her hands, trying to pull his attention off the dogs and on her.

His cries of fear had quieted, though his eyes never left the golden brown stare of Kaia who still watched him with an adorably happy look on her face.

“Kaia, back up honey.” Y/n said quietly. The curious dog complied immediately, showing her obedience as she backed up to where Champ sat and sitting beside him calmly. She nudged him with her snoot before going back to staring at a terrified Yoongi.

Y/n sat beside Yoongi, her hand settling on his trembling arm as he clutched at the small pillow like a lifeline.

“Hey.” She quietly called for his attention to which he complied, his wide eyed stare wavering between her own and the dogs who now sat quietly at a distance. “I’m sorry Champ came at you like that.”

“Wh...why?” Yoongi whimpered.

She tilted her head slightly in questioning, wondering what he could be asking.

“Why did he act like that? I thought he was ours?” Yoongi waved at the dog who was now chewing on an itchy spot on the side of his back leg.

“Oh..well.” She glanced back at the dog before returning her attention to Yoongi. “Well...before we got him he was pretty heavily abused. The people that owned him hit him and denied him food and just...were awful.”

Yoongi gave her his full attention, a small stretch of sympathy pushing through the fear at the dog’s story.

“He was about 4 months old when he escaped from them. But he ended up getting hit by a car. They...well they tried but couldn’t save his front leg. The entire thing traumatized him and now anytime he smells hospital on anyone he kind of freaks out. Doctor says it’s PTSD which doesn’t surprise me honestly.” She glanced over to the dog who seemed to have calmed down considerably.

“His name is Champ. Well, Champion. We decided to call him that because of how much he’d survived.” She looked to Yoongi, noticing he’d calmed down as well. The formerly stiff man had lowered his legs to the floor, feet flat on the ground though he still held on to the pillow.

“I’m sorry Yoongi.” She whispered, head bowed in shame.

“Hmm?” His eyes followed the downward motion of her bowing head. “Sorry?”

“Yea. For not warning you. For not making the introduction slower and easier for you. I keep...forgetting that this is new to you. That...that you don’t remember.” She glanced up at him, eyes filled with tears as she bit her trembling lower lip.

He seemed to finally relax fully. Placing the pillow to the side he gathered her hands into his own. “Hey...hey.” He waited patiently for her to look up at him once more. “It’s alright. Yea they scared me half to death but honestly it’s just because I wasn’t expecting them.” He looked over at the two dogs who had settled down, curled around each other on the floor, Kaia giving Champ a bath as Champ watched the two humans with a mild sense of interest.

“Champ. Come here.” Yoongi said, trying to hide the trembling in his voice as he decided to be bold for a moment.

The Shepherd perked up, scrambling up eagerly and walking over with his adorably lopsided trot. His lower lip curled under his teeth, though more in an awkward doggy grin than as a sign of aggression.

Yoongi reached his hand out, allowing the curious pup to sniff it before reaching out to pat him gently on the head. Y/n grinned happily, wiping away her tears as Champ pushed his body up against Yoongi’s leg, plopping down on his foot and allowing Yoongi to rub his sides.

Kaia whimpered, sadness evident in her as she wanted a share of the attention as well.

Yoongi watched her tail thump on the ground. “What’s Kaia’s story?” He asked as his knuckles rubbed Champ’s sides much to the lovable pup’s joy.

“Kaia? She’s been with me for...wow for almost 9 years now. I found her on the side of the road, a half starved pup. Honestly I didn’t even know what color she was until I’d given her a bath and a good brush down, that’s just how dirty the poor baby was.” Y/n motioned the retriever over, giving her an affectionate rub down. Kaia shoved Champ out of the way, forgoing the hand sniff of invitation for placing both front paws on Yoongi’s lap.

With little to no shame she gave him her seal of approval with a slobber filled kiss to the cheek. Yoongi chuckled, rubbing the loving dog on the sides as he allowed her to give him a few more doggy kisses before gently pushing her out of his lap and wiping his cheek.

“Well, is there anything else I should know?” He asked, patting y/n on the leg.

Anxiety jolted through her at the question. “Any...anything else?” She squeaked.

“Yea, we don’t have any fire breathing dragons living in the basement or ghosts haunting the attic or anything right?” He chuckled at the question, drawing a relieved laugh from the shaken girl.

“God no nothing like that. These two are it.” She smiled at the dogs. They scampered off, having investigated the newcomer and found him worthy, to play tug of war with a large rope that had been hidden in a corner of the living room.

“Good.” He nodded, watching the two dogs romp around. Champ didn’t even seem to be bothered by the missing forelimb. He kept up with his aging sister no problem, even out pacing her when the rope had gone flying across the room to land in front of the coffee table.

“With me home...our family’s complete.” He whispered to himself, watching the dogs with a newfound affection.

“What did you say?” Y/n asked as she made to stand.

“I’m glad to be home.” He replied, smiling up at her happily.

***

Champ~ The happiest tripod💚💚💚

[glowstickhaloboy]

i just spent an hour typing this klance sleeping beauty/witch AU in a text

one day lance wakes up in a forest with few memories and no idea how he got there. He stumbles upon a stone dias with a veiled, sleeping young man on it and figures he’s dreaming and that’s got to be the part of himself that’s going to wake up eventually. 

Then a bear comes crashing out of the trees, and Lance knows he can’t let the bear hurt himself or... himself?? Whatever. So he manages to draw it under a loose boulder and then topple the rock down on it. Then the bear transforms into a big brown man who says his name is hunk and thanks lance profusely for changing him back. 

“The wicked monarch lotor doesn’t mind using curses on anyone, no matter how insignificant,” he says. Then he sees the sleeping person on the dias and asks if he hurt the prince, and lance is like ??? 

So hunk explains that lotor cursed the rightful heir to the throne to sleep forever, then brought him into the middle of the woods so he would never be found, and hunk, the unfortunate stable boy who had been tasked with transporting him here, had been turned into a bear to attack anyone who got too close. 

At this point lance is like, “wait, im not dreaming?? And that dude is a real person?? Okay so uhh sounds like this monarch is totally evil and we should get this sleeping guy back on the throne??? Whys he asleep how do we wake him up??”

And hunks like “shrug.” 

So lance is like “WELL ive got quite a reputation for being a dashing hero” 

“oh really whats your name” 

“uh, the names LANCE” 

“GASP LANCELOT??” 

“Ye-! What, no, who is that wtf” 

“oh then ive never heard of you” 

“whatever shut up you’ll have heard of me after we pull this off together, lets get this guy to a town or something and tell the people whats going on, that way theyll know lotor is a fake” 

“oh its not going to be that easy,” says hunk, ever the man of exposition. “lotor has guards everywhere, at gates and bridges and checkpoints on the roads to every town, nobody can get in anywhere with anything secret, especially not so blatantly carrying a body”

but then they meet a group of smugglers!! Led by allura and pidge, the strategist and the genius, who agree to help lance because of lotor’s ridiculous taxes + security. 

“But” says pidge “theres no way we’ll help you when he’s like this. You gotta wake him up first. He’s practically dead, we’re not going to smuggle a corpse, its useless. Coma patients cant lead kingdoms.” 

And lance is like “idk?? How??” 

And hunk is like “drop a rock on him” 

and lance is like “NO HES A PRINCE” 

and pidge is like “no curse is foolproof, theres got to be a way to break it” but doesn’t offer any helpful solutions so lance sighs and goes to hang out with sleeping Keith to see if he cant come up with something.

The smugglers helpfully offered a tent to keep the prince in so it doesn’t cause much of a ruckus among their crew. Lance enjoys the privacy because he’s starting to doubt that he can pull this off, and he apologizes to Keith for that even though he knows Keith cant hear him, and lance explains that he doesn’t know a lot about himself but he feels like he has a history of letting people down and he’s sorry, he’s sorry, but he’s going to try his best, and maybe providence will smile upon Keith and everything will work out anyway, and if lance fails he is at least a necessary stepping stone to restore Keith to the throne. 

He falls asleep there, and when he dreams, he’s inside a beautiful palace watching a man with a prosthetic arm write a letter at a desk. 

“That’s my brother,” says a voice behind lance, and thats... Keith walking up into the room, talking to him?? so casually?? And the man writing the letter cant seem to see or hear them at all? And Keith continues, “his name is shiro. He’s feeling particularly frustrated lately because theres nothing he can do to stop lotor from screwing over our people. He was supposed to inherit the throne. After one year as king, he sent supplies to the kingdom of a sworn enemy while their people suffered from starvation, and lotor got the council to label him a traitor and revoke his right to the throne. I was the only heir left. And, well, you know what happened to me.” He smiles and lance is still like WHAT THE HELL?? And Keith says “you’ll figure it out. I trust you” and lance can feel himself waking up so he misses the next part and only gets the word “witch” before he’s back in the tent and Keith is still passed tf out and he has NO IDEA how to break this curse, so he asks hunk if there are any witches nearby. 

And hunks like “shrug” 

and lance wants to bash his head against a wall. 

But allura overhears and is like “im a witch lol” and lance is like “YOU CAN DO IT THEN YOU GOTTA FIX HIM” and allura is like “?? i’ll try but I have no idea how I would even begin” and lance is like “ANYWAY I CAN HELP I WILL” 

so he hangs at allura’s elbow all day while she stirs potion after potion, consults books, consults Pidge, attempts to cast spells, and nothing’s working, so the day passes and she gives up for now and says she has to rest, and lance reluctantly sees her out of the tent and falls asleep himself. 

This time he dreams he’s in a witch’s tower, and he knows this must be the witch he needs to find, but it’s empty. He doesn’t know who lives here or where they are, and yet it feels familiar, and then Keith appears again, and lance wastes no time in asking where they are this time. Keith shrugs and says this must be one of lance’s memories, Keith has never been here before. 

And lance looks around in confusion like, “one of... my... memories??” before it clicks why he knows this is a witch’s tower without even looking around, and he remembers the tree outside the window and the apples that could be magicked inside from the branches without even leaving the comfort of the couch, and thats because its HIS witch’s tower. He’s in his home! 

And as if to prove it, he spins around and sees himself perusing his own library with an apple in hand, humming, and Keith smiles at him and says, “Witch,” before lance wakes up again and this time he understands, he remembers, that he is the only person who can save Keith, and that is why lotor cursed him with memory loss in the first place!! 

He also remembers... a lot of embarrassing thoughts he’d had pretty much his entire life... lance had followed the prince’s progress from afar, had attended his coronation and offered his services consulting as a court sorcerer (which the royal representative lotor had always overlooked with disdain because they HAD a court sorcerer, thank you very much, and honerva had more life experience in her little finger than a little spell-monkey like lance) and when the prince went missing, lance toiled over a solution, and he came to the new regent, lotor, and proved that he’d crafted a spell with the power to locate one’s truly heartfelt desire, and then he proved that his desire was keith’s safety, was keith, and then everything went dull and fuzzy, and then he’d woken up in the forest. 

And all of this is to say-- lance does not know how to break a sleeping curse. 

He only knew how to find Keith. Why did Keith have such faith in him? He would try anyway. He would brew a remedy so powerful it HAD to work. 

when pidge comes to check on him next morning, lance informs her that he has a lead on the prince and is not to be disturbed, and he spends all day sending hunk and allura out for ingredients, tugging out his own hair, briefly crying, then scraping himself up to keep working, and just as he thinks he might be on the right track, theres a scream outside, and then more, and lance doesn’t want to leave the cauldron but he has to make sure the camp is safe-- and it isn’t. 

Lotor’s armed guards have raided the smuggler’s camp and lotor himself is there too. Lance knows he has only one chance. 

He dashes back into his tent to finish, knowing full well that lotor saw him and theres no time at all, and then half the tent spontaneously begins to fold in on itself, and the cauldron is knocked from its briar and the potion! Most of it spills out, and lance, without thinking, takes the rest into his mouth because he doesn’t have a flask, and if he has to feed it to the sleeping prince like a baby bird then he WILL.

but lotor rips open the front of the tent before lance can make it to the bedroll and raises lance by the throat off of the ground. By force, he squeezes every golden drop out of lance’s puffed cheeks then casts him aside, preparing to finish Keith once and for all now that his secret is found out, (and in his mind he is thinking how nicely this will all blow over, to pin it on the smugglers and an unfortunate accident in the raid) but lance is swept up in a force of protective rage and creates a gust of wind powerful enough to uproot the tent, catch up lotor, and drag him away and pin him down. 

While lotor struggles against the fabric, lance scrambles to keith’s bedroll and prays that this will work, that theres enough remaining to have any effect at all-- and he presses his potion-coated lips to keith’s and wishes as hard as he can. 

and keith’s lips press back. 

And keith’s hand catches at lance’s collar. 

and lotor bellows in rage and lance sits up in wonder and the prince is awake and alive. 

He does not move like someone who has been lying still for over a year. He leaps to his feet, summons a dagger from seemingly nowhere, and meets the regent monarch head-on in a duel so fearsome that, when lotor is eventually defeated, his armored guard immediately drop their weapons and bow to keith.

Keith orders the guards release this camp (on the grounds that the laws they bent were unjust in the first place, and they’d harbored him safely in his hour of need), and then he finds himself and lance a horse and finally gets a moment to thank this witch who saved him-- and perhaps, if lance can forgive him for being somewhat useless throughout all this, he would like to accompany Keith to the castle as his court sorcerer? Of course, the mother to a traitor cannot serve the crown. 

And lance can hardly believe he’s being offered this new lot in life, because hes-- hes-- HIM. He never wins! But he has this time. He has.

He all but yells “YES” and almost makes an ass out of himself but reigns it in at the last second. They ride back to the castle together and are married later that year and live happily ever after.