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crusherthedoctor · 5 years ago

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Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 15: DR. EGGMAN

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a mini-series of mine, in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, it’s finally time for him. The bad doctor himself. Gather round ladies and gentleman, for the spotlight is on the arch-villain that shines above them all... Dr. Eggman.

The Gist: It's the dawn of the 90's. A little company called SEGA had an ephiphany. They wanted to make a video game juggernaut that could rival the quality and iconic appeal of the then-unmatched Super Mario Bros, and their current star, Alex Kidd, just wasn't doing it in the way that they hoped. They promptly set about starting anew, as a worldwide phenomenon wasn't going to make itself.

So a gentleman named Naoto Ohshima created a selection of design concepts for this brand new mascot. One of these concepts was President Roosevelt in his pajamas.

Seen here with his catgirl body pillow.

The response to this character was “This is good, but we think kids would prefer kicking the shit out of him”, and so he was given an antagonistic role instead. In the meantime, after juggling the rest of their ideas, they eventually settled on a rabbit hedgehog named Sonic for their main protagonist, knowing his Mickey Mouse-like aesthetic would help endear him to the audience, and the franchise as a whole would have an easier time gaining a DeviantART fanbase later on down the line.

Initially, the character of today's review was but a mere lackey among many, seemingly little more than one of numerous minions working for Sonic's originally intended main villain, the Nonspecific Goblin. He was also dressed as a bee for some reason.

Which is the least weirdest thing in this image.

At some point however, they all got together and decided that actually, the guy with the moustache was the only one worth shit, and so he was upgraded to the role of main villain himself. With a spiffy new attire of red and black, he was given the bold title of Dr. Eggman, because with a shape like that, what else are you gonna call him?

“Funny you should say that”, laughed SEGA of America, as they rebelled like an angsty teen and named him Dr. Ivo Robotnik instead. While this name does make equal sense for the character, as he is indeed a hard worker who also happens to like robots, the reason for this name's existence seems to have been mainly because they thought Eggman was too out there of a name for an egg-like man. Whatever the case, this would confuse a lot of fans for years, and remains a point of divisiveness to this day... Unless you're like me and your first game in the series was Advance 2, in which the manual clears it up right away, and you accept the idea of a character having two names and immediately carry on with your life.

He would have aimed it perfectly if it weren't for the Sonic Heroes Parrot distracting him.

And that was that, really. It didn't take long for them to come up with his characterization, which was that of a cackling fiend with an ego to end all egos. This guy was the Narcissist Alpha, more king than actual kings, no strings attached. Other villains would build statues of themselves, but only Robotnik would deface Ancient Egyptian monuments to improve them with his face. Other villains would think “Nah, refacing all four in Rushmore would look silly”, but only the Eggman, the Eggmyth, the Egglegend, would go “Well fuck you, I'm doing it anyway.” Then he'd do it anyway, and proceed to address to the entire world that he did in fact do it anyway.

It also didn't take long for them to develop his primary schtick. With the dynamic of Sonic VS Eggman, you had a classic rivalry between nature and technology. Interestingly enough however, this turned out to be executed more tactfully than your typical Amish-abiding examples in similar media. Never was technology itself regarded as a corruptive influence that you should never utilise no matter what. Rather, it was only as good or as evil as the person using it, with it just so happening that the villain loved machinery only slightly less than he loved himself, and it was countered by Sonic’s best friend being a techno wiz in his own right anyway. Anyhow, with his machinery, the doctor would make a name for himself among video game baddies by confronting his enemy as the boss of nearly every zone in each game, rather than hide away until the endgame.

And all without a driver's licence.

In his soon-to-be-30 years of activity, he has largely remained the same since his inception. Other characters have been introduced, other villains have came and went, but Eggman has remained THE villain of the franchise, and he's remained a vital part of the Sonic the Hedgehog universe... with a slight redesign along the way.

The only ad I don't want to skip.

The Design: Eggman's design may be more simplistic than the likes of Bowser and Ganondorf, and he may not look as openly threatening at first glance, but it's still a very iconic look no matter what look it is. His original appearance was devised so that kids could have an easy time drawing him, which only makes me feel worse about not being able to do it as a grown adult without it looking like a Sexy Legs Kirby.

Still, it's a classic for a reason. With his to-the-point colour scheme, contrasting heavily with Sonic's blue, and his capelet collar resembling walrus tusks, it was an instant winner and made everyone goo goo for g'joob.

The Emeralds he’s juggling are a metaphor for the divided fan community.

And when it was time to give the cast an update for Sonic's first real 3D adventure (or at least the first one that didn't get axed for being a magic eye seizure), Eggman got a respectable change of his own. He was taller, his getup was militaristic, and his body was more legitimately egg-shaped rather than basketball-shaped. He also gained a pair of goggles that he never uses, except in scenes where he puts them on and then never uses them.

“How do my chicken legs not collapse under the might of my gluttonous mass? Find out in an unrelated tie-in novel that you have to pay additional money for.”

There was also that one redesign from 2006, but...

Be it Classic or Modern, I've always loved his design. Before he even says a word or does anything, you know from his appearance that he's a bit of a clownish sort. But he also has a subtle creepy vibe going on, with the way his glasses often obscure his eyes, and how this only makes the pearly-white, unnecessarily wide grin on his face that much more empty and unsettling. This little bit of eeriness hiding among his cartoonish physique reflects the full extent of his character pretty accurately, as we’ll delve into soon enough.

If nothing else, it's more effective than him having no eyes at all.

GRRRRRRRR FUCK YOU BUNNIES THAT I CAN'T SEE

The Personality: If you've seen my villain reviews, then you'll have gathered that Sonic's rogues aren't known for having much in the way of personality. There are exceptions, but they are indeed the exceptions. More often than not though, whether it's an alien conquerer, an ancient monster, or Dan Green the Recolour, they can be summed up thusly: They're evil, they want to destroy the world, and the heroes stop them because they're evil and want to destroy the world. If they're feeling particularly daring, they might go for a second colour.

Luckily, as if to counter all these cardboard drawings, the central adversary of the franchise makes up for these voids of personality by actually having one. And what a personality it is.

The writers of SatAM looked at this and thought “No, this won't do, there's no character to work with here.”

He really is brimming with comedic charm. Every moment that he's present...

Every moment that he shows off...

Every moment that he basks in his own glory...

Every moment that he unveils a new wicked scheme...

Every moment that he puts his enemies to the test...

Every moment that he challenges the world...

Every moment that he laughs at the world...

Every moment that he lives, nay, every moment that he breathes...

Yes, the man has plenty of humor, and it's part of what makes him so enjoyable and memorable. However, if you think being a clown is all there is to him, then prepare to have your expectations subverted initial assumptions taken in a unexpected direction, because although he puts the goof in goofy, he ALSO puts the “oh...?” in “oh shit”.

For you see, Eggman is by all means the epitome of Laughably Evil, but do not, under any circumstance, take him at face value and write him off as a joke. He is anything but.

For starters, he can swing a planet.

There is a rule of thumb that I personally go by with Eggman’s characterization, one that I believe is an immediate make or break factor in regards to whether or not you understand what makes this villain work. Eggman - when you put all his secondary traits aside - is made up of two prominent halves. There’s the egocentric meme machine that bounces up and down like a kid with his N64 and laughs like Santa... and there’s the monster buried within that remains completely and utterly unrepentant for everything he’s responsible for. This is very important. Despite the character’s simplicity at his core, many writers have failed to grasp this, official writers included, and I for the life of me cannot understand why this is such a recurring problem. Eggman is funny, AND Eggman is evil. Both are equal. When you take away one or the other, you may have a funny character, or you may have an evil character, but you don’t have Eggman. Simple as.

Armchair intellectuals may argue that Eggman’s deeds aren’t that evil, since he tends to be merely callous rather than actively trying to hurt or kill people. Those people are probably the types on TV Tropes who weigh a villain’s evilness and effectiveness purely through the surface-level scale of their goals rather than what they actually do to achieve them. While it is true that Eggman tends to be more apathetic about the aftermath of his actions, that doesn’t - and shouldn’t - negate how dangerous he is. It shouldn’t negate what he’s capable of. It shouldn’t negate how far he’s willing to go. And it shouldn’t negate the consequences and casualties that can and do result from his many schemes.

Seriously, think about this for a second. If you confronted Eggman about his current plan to... I dunno, make a water park in Africa or some shit, and you informed him that there has been unexpected mass suffering as a result of this, how do you think he would truly feel about that? What do you think he would actually say to that?

Spoiler: No fucks.

If anything, that he “merely” doesn’t care either way as long as he gets what he wants is more uniquely horrific and deplorable than if he were a generic baddie who committed his evulz specifically for evulz’s own sake and nothing more. At least you’re inadvertently acknowledging that other people’s lives have value when you act one-dimensionally gleeful over ending them, but when your immediate response to the side-effect of a million potential deaths and environmental disasters is “Oh well, fuck ‘em, Eggmanland time baybeeee”, that’s a new level of cruelty.

Besides, even in the Genesis era, he was carpet bombing Angel Island...

“Good thing I have this shield. Sucks to be this forest!”

And he’s only gotten worse since then, indulging in such acts as going full suicide bomber with a missile, after his initial plot to destroy and rebuild Station Square through the means of Chaos and the Egg Carrier didn’t work out...

But don’t worry, he kept it lighthearted by making it look like a penis.

Making one of Sonic’s friends go insane with power against their will, forcing the Blue Blur to put them down personally...

It’s ironic, cause he’s metal. Or do I have to awkwardly explain the joke two more times before I’m a proper YouTuber?

Capturing thousands of innocent aliens, and forcefully converting them into mindless beasts...

I’m pretty sure I saw Alfred Molina conduct this experiment one time.

He even removed the heroes’ collective IQs so that he could shoehorn a cliffhanger on an already terrible game.

Thanks, cunt.

And honestly? When it comes to Sonic and chums at least, Eggman does let out a more openly sadistic side now and then. Need I mention that time when the doctor forced Sonic and two random buddies to make their way through a trap-infested island of his own creation? Not for the sake of nabbing Chaos Emeralds or anything of the sort mind you, he just wanted the blue motor mouth to suffer.

Images you can hear.

To make matters even worse, as befitting of his manchild tendencies, he’s ridiculously petty. How petty? Petty enough to abduct a little girl’s mother for no other reason than because Cheese completely trivialized his forces the girl was friends with Sonic and helped participate in the latest kicking of his own ass.

He only picked Vanilla because there was no Strawberry.

But at least his captives can admire the sheer variety that their captor has to offer. One of the greatest things about the doctor's style is that anything goes. With all due respect to Bowser, he tends to stick with his fiery castles (although he has been branching out recently), and plenty of other villains in gaming tend to be similarly stuck in their ways when it comes to tastes. Eggman, on the other hand, will create all sorts of fortresses and reside anywhere on the planet and beyond. It can be in the sky, in space, somewhere hot, somewhere cold, under the sea, in a circus... and every now and then, he might combine some of them together and thensome. So long as it's even vaguely mechanical in some way, his ground rules have already been ticked off.

Hang on a minute...

You know what else Eggman is? Relentless.

Persistence is a quality that most villains by their very nature share, lest they cease to be an effective antagonist. But once again, Rrrrrrrobotnik maxes out more than any other, and will often go to insane lengths to keep the current plan going, or if not that, then to spite Sonic.

Exhibit A: Sonic 3 & Knuckles, in which the grand finale consists of the madman throwing a gravity-shifting contraption your way, busting out a Kaiju-sized robo, escaping with the Master Emerald after his defeat, continuing to escape even after the Death Egg has been thoroughly destroyed, getting chased through the asteroid fields in space by Super Sonic, and only finally going down when the escape craft and the piloted mech controlling the escape craft are down. And all of this came after a grand adventure where, among other things, he destroyed an entire level just to kill you.

There are immortal omnipotents that put up less of a challenge.

“Looks like it’s time for Plan... *checks paper*... F.”

His relentlessness also reveals another side of the doctor that is simultaneously admirable and terrifying: He bows to no one. No one. Doesn’t matter who it is. Doesn’t matter how powerful they are. Doesn’t matter how much the odds are stacked against him. If another villain were to demand that he cower before them, the scientist would laugh and show through physical demonstration that this is not the way the egg rolls. Unless he’s absolutely unable to do so, he will give it his all every time, and even if he can’t, he’ll use his crafty mind to find some other way to get around the issue. You can beat him in battle, you can foil his plans, but you absolutely cannot break his resolve.

“Dad said it’s my turn to play with the Ruby. I know this, because I’m your dad.”

What about his relationship with those who actually serve him? Specifically, his own robots? Well for the most part, he treats them like absolute crap, what with verbally abusing them at every corner and being all too willing to go full Vader on them the moment they mess up. He IS capable of expressing fondness and giving praise to his more successful creations, like with Metal Sonic and Gamma, but even then, it’s a roundabout way of praising himself, since he’s the one who made them what they are. So basically, you’re only valuable to him if you make him look good.

Gaming in the Clinton Years in a nutshell.

And as for Sonic? Yeah, like with any legendary and long-lasting hero/villain dynamic, it’s obvious that Eggman has some degree of begrudging respect for his opponent. But if you think this respect would dissuade him from actually going through with his ambitions of rulership...

As the hedgehog’s apparent demise in Sonic Adventure 2 proves, as well as his defeat at the hands of Infinite and the subsequent six months of brutal conquest in Sonic Forces, Eggman is dead serious about his goals. If you think he’d get bored after conquering the world, he would simply expand his resources and have a crack at conquering the rest of the universe. When he says he hates that hedgehog, I’m inclined to believe that he means it, and although he may enjoy his “games” with Sonic to an extent, I also can’t see him wanting to remain stuck on square one forever.

If this were Sonic X, he’d just grieve.

By the way, the scene above? Undeniable proof that for all the doctor’s boasting, he’s not actually lying or exaggerating when he prides himself on his brilliance. Because when you get past his goofy exterior, when you look beyond the occasional, relatively minor mistake (*glares at IDW*), you’ll see that... yes. He IS brilliant. And not just in the science department either, although his countless robots and strongholds over the years are no doubt a testament to his credentials there. While he may prefer to go in big and bold, he can also be shrewd with his strategies when he wants to be.

Sonic’s aforementioned near-death experience, for example, was the result of Eggman turning the heroes’ own cunning plan on its head by being one step ahead of them. And in Sonic Unleashed, he lured his enemy into a trap, culminating with him cancelling out Super Sonic.

“...and pay the price for your Werehog gameplay...”

And after all those years of struggling, he finally got a giant monster under his complete control. “But he had help!”, you say? Yeah, from himself.

Did Flynn sleep through all this...?

Much like his inner nature as an evil bastard, Eggman's effectiveness is likewise commonly underestimated by writers. Yes, he occasionally makes mistakes. Yes, he occasionally overlooks details. Yes, he occasionally lacks foresight. But he is NOT stupid. A hero is only as good as their villain after all, and if Eggman is portrayed as a bumbling fool, then how can Sonic be a truly great hero? Eggman is humorous, sinister, and when the chips are down, competent.

...Did I mention that he's also a master Olympian?

The Execution: There's no surprises here. You knew from the moment you saw this review that my stance wasn't going to be anything less than 100% fanboy adoration. In that respect, this section almost feels redundant, because there's only so many ways I can say “Dr. Eggman is the fucking shit and I'm eternally grateful to Mr. Ohshima for bringing this absolute masterpiece into our world” without it getting repetitive. So to cap this review off, I'm going to very briefly compare his portrayals in other media, and explain why they tend to not be as good as the original SEGA Eggman.

“Cause they’re not balanced, right?” you ask. “Cause they veer too far in a particular direction? You're so predictable,” you add. To that I say:

1. Yeah, basically.

2. ...S-Shut up...

3. While the conclusion may be obvious, it's nonetheless important because as I mentioned previously, despite how straightforward this villain is, writers seem absolutely intent on not getting the point. There are loads of villains out there who share Eggman's talent of mixing hilarity and evil together with a bow of competence on top. Two of those villains are among the most famous supervillains of all time, in fact. You might have heard of them.

Joker can do it just fine. Green Goblin can do it just fine. And plenty of others can do it just fine. So why is it such an issue with Eggman? What is it about a round body and a long moustache that gets people to think “No, this guy is absolutely incapable of being comedic and threatening at the same time, no question, end of.” Is it because he’s a more cartoony franchise? Well, that can't be the case, because even Mario has a couple of beloved examples. Fawful, anyone? How about Dimentio? Cackletta? King Boo? K. Rool? Hell, you could even count Bowser himself depending on the portrayal.

Anyway, the point is, writers tend to miss the mark for one reason or another. With Sonic X for example, he wasn't too bad in the beginning, but as the show went on, he became exactly the toothless non-villain that many people misjudge him as. We all know that scene where he berates Black Narcissus for harming their captives (not for pragmatic reasons mind you, he genuinely took issue with the act on moral grounds, even though his own hands weren’t exactly clean either), but even before that point, he was doing such things as healing an injured Sonic without an ulterior motive, not taking any opportunity whatsoever to start conquering Sonic's world because he was pining for Sonic's attention, and being the Jiminy Cricket to Chris Thorndyke's Pinocchio. Why they thought the goddamn villain should be the moral conscience of this show remains an unanswered question, but at least it no longer influences how he's portrayed in the games.

Then you have the IDW comic, which is a similar tale of starting off decent and then careening wildly into the abyss, but for different reasons. Initially, he was built up to be in-line with his competent, foresight-packed self from Forces, with his inevitable return being met with dread, and a delightfully devilish scheme to match when he finally did so. But somewhere along the way, Ian Flynn thought that Eggman coming back from his amnesiac period and returning stronger than ever with a new minion and a deadly virus wasn't enough to up the stakes... so they decided to “up the stakes” by turning both the doctor and his new minion into massive imbeciles so as to justify their plot getting hijacked by the Deadly Six, a move so predictable yet infuriating that it got even me to turn against the Six. And the reason the Six got invited in-universe is because Starline decided he didn’t like being unique and devolved into Snively 2.0 behind Eggman’s back. All this from the alleged “best writer” for the series...

Yeah, same.

And then you have the Boom version, which shares basically the same issues as Sonic X but in a more mundane fashion. It's easier to dismiss because it's a comedy-centric show and his redesign makes it easier to separate him from mainline Eggman, and I'll gladly admit that he does have a lot of genuinely funny lines that redeem him a little bit. But yeah, too much of not being a true villain for my tastes.

Now this isn't to say that there haven't been portrayals in other media that are up there with the original. The versions that I consider better off than the ones above include...

- The OVA Eggman is pretty faithful all things considered, aside from his romantic feelings for Sara, which feels slightly off since the idea of Eggman loving anyone other than himself is incredibly unrealistic at best. But it doesn't actually soften or undermine his deviousness, so I'm willing to let it slide for an alternate take. Especially since he gave us the best Metal Sonic out there.

- AoStH is far from a perfect show, but there's a reason why even its detractors tend to treat its version of Robotnik like a national treasure. Admittedly most of that is because of the legendary Long John Baldry and the endless memes associated with this incarnation, but despite hailing from a comedy-focused show like Boom Eggman, this Robotnik still had a lot of legitimately dangerous moments, more than you'd think.

- And of course, Jim Carrey's Robotnik in the Sonic movie is just... *chef's kiss*

So obvious aesop though it may be, but you see what the more effective portrayals have in common, I assume?

Granted, this also isn't to say that SEGA Eggman himself has had a perfect track record. The decade's worth of upstagings and backstabbings by other villains should be enough of a counterpoint to that claim, and I've also made it clear now and then that I take issue with certain games regarding what they do with the doc, no matter how revered they may be by other fans. Sonic Adventure 2, for instance. I praised the fake emerald scene, and I do sincerely believe that he has a number of other badass moments in that game, but because Shadow was playing him like a fool the whole time, I can't help but have a bitter taste in my mouth when I look at the bigger picture.

So close to greatness, yet so far...

So in that case, which game do I think has Eggman's best showing overall? That's not in any way an easy question, but lack of dialogue aside, I'm gonna go with Sonic 3 & Knuckles again, as the classic journey through the sights of Angel Island plays out in a way that highlights just how determined, ruthless, and underhanded he is with carrying out his mission to revive the Death Egg by any means necessary. Other games do win out in other areas - SA1 for how bastardly he is, Forces for how cunning he is, Colours for his hilarious announcements, CD for using the scenery to show the effects of his actions, Mania for not letting the other villain walk all over him - but for the purest essence of the doctor at his cartoony yet competent best, I'd say S3&K is a reasonable bet.

And when it comes to all his many traits, which one do I find the most special one of all? Well again, far from easy to answer, but I think the coolest aspect about him is also one of the most overlooked. Robotnik, despite whatever superhuman qualities he may occasionally unveil, is for all intents and purposes a regular guy with a big brain. This might make him appear unimpressive when compared to your average Final Fantasy villain and the like, but if anything, it paints him in a more flattering light than expected, because he doesn't even need to be on their level to still be on the radar. It's easy to be a big bad threat when you're an ancient demon or an almighty god-like being, and you only have to wave a hand to cause armageddon. But when you're just Some Guy™ going up against superpowered opponents, meaning you have to earn your threat level the hard way, and you prove to be a challenge every step of the way regardless, because you're just THAT much of a genius... that's fucking awesome, no other way to put it.

And you know what else is awesome? You may not like Eggman, and you don’t have to like him, but like it or not, he is directly and indirectly responsible for a vast majority of the coolest and most loved moments and aspects of this franchise.

The opening to Unleashed? Eggman set up the scene.

Shadow running around and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman released him.

Blaze getting involved with Sonic’s world and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman’s half-responsible for that.

Metal Sonic? Eggman made him.

Egg Dragoon? Eggman.

Big Arm? Eggman.

Monkey Dude? Eggman.

That text is missing a blue checkmark.

This review is probably longer than the echidna family tree in Archie at this point, so I better finish it off. If it wasn't obvious from all the paragraphs I've belted out in this post, I'm very passionate about Eggman and the way he’s portrayed. Ever since I got into the Sonic franchise in 2003, I immediately took a liking to the doctor, and to this day, he remains not only my favourite Sonic villain, my favourite Sonic character, but also my favourite character period. Some may find it a weird or lame choice compared to other, “better” characters, but that's the way it is, and I ain't about to change it. I am very unlikely to ever stop enjoying the hell out of this villain, and even if he got irreversibly ruined in some way, I'd still continue to love what he was before that point.

Because yeah, he's not the deepest character ever, but... who cares? Is it not enough that we find something that appeals to us? When I got into Sonic, I was introduced to fantastic games, a likable cast, high quality soundtracks, beautiful worlds, numerous friends on this very site, and of course, the lovely treasure that is my partner. I may not have been with this franchise during the 90's, but it's given me just as much fun, nostalgia, and happiness as those who were. Despite the flawed titles, despite the fandom conundrums, I still love this series.

And I still love this absolute prick.

Crusher Gives Dr. Eggman a: TWO Thumbs Up!

#Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite?#Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog #Dr. Ivo Robotnik

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over-the-pink-moon · 7 years ago

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how to deal with kitties and its owners

remember lyra is owned by one and only @matteobalsaon and a bit @sunflowervalente (and they are my friends, they let me) also apparently todays is International cat day so happy birthsday lyraaa

///

There she was again.

Should this view surprise her even? Probably not. It’s the third time this week, she enters her dorm room to find out little somebody was making quiet a use out of her room during her absence. She lets her heavy bag slip off her shoulder. It makes a loud thump, when it hits the floor and the noise attracts little intruiser’s attention for a few seconds. Kitty lifts her head half opening sleepy eyes displeased by rumour, but as soon she spots Luna comes back to shamelessly napping on the pile of clothes thrown next to the sofa. Yes, it might be about third time this week though eleven or fifteen all together, when she catches some gray (really fancy looking, probably purebred one, but she is a loser when it comes to breeds and distinguishing them) kitty coming to her room, probably through a usually opened window.

The first time it happened she was properly shocked. She can recall, how she just wanted to quickly come round, left few books from some previous class, catch some highly sugar containing snack and run back to spend next hours during some killer draining lecture that she loathed deeply. In a hurry she unlocked the door and was clumsily unpacking her books at the same time rummaging through shelf, when these weird noise like someone was trying to tear her sofa caught her attention and made her froze in the middle. She took out one of her headphones to assure it wasn’t some weird drop coming from the song, she was listening to. The noise nonetheless repeated. Slowly she came closer to half laid out sofa/bed. Maybe lack of sleep was messing with her mind or she actually might still be during this nap she made during Statistics class (her friend Jimena told her once that she dreamt about being in some kids tv show and how she was made to make out with a boy with the ugliest hair possible; she claimed that felt beyond real. As a side note she cherished her friends imagination and weird dreams cause they made boring classes at least a bit entertaining. One time to that extent she spat out water at super smart blonde girl sitting in front of her; that can help assess how hilarious some her redhead friend dreams were). However, there it was as real as it can only be grey kitten was just carefully laying out his front paws at the back rest of her sofa. Its gaze landed on her and she felt sort of judged like she was disrupting some serious ritual and was the one to break in her apartment. Still looking dead in her eyes kitty pull out its claws and Luna could only watch in horror, how this tiny burglar moved his claws along the side of her brand new sofa pulling out some threads and leaving tiny holes. For a few seconds it somehow admired his piece of art, then gracefully jumped on the sofa, from which it quickly hopped on window sill and rushed through window she cracked earlier.

Luna blinked a few more times still having hard time believing, what just happened, however her teared sofa provided real evidence of this occurrence.

The sound of whatsapp notification pulled her back to the reality. She grabbed her phone from back pocket and having noticed worried messages, why she still wasn’t on her lecture and warning her that professor is going to check time sheet in a few. That was enough to force her to push this extraordinary incident out of her head for a bit and concentrate on calculating how high her chances were to run through the whole campus and then climb at 4th floor and not miss her name being called out. 4 minutes, answer for me she typed.

///

Next time, cat appeared as a chilling ball of fur on the centre of her sofa. Another time she caught it wandering around her kitchen counter sniffing toast bread she left. Then it was her bathroom, she almost shrieked when cat hissed at her, jwhen she attempted to turn on tap cause apparently her sink its a quiet a bed of itself too. During constant appearances of this furry guest she managed to gather: its in fact she and she comes through an open window from some flats on left from her. Obviously, her friends tried to convince her to finally pay a visit and check whom this cat belongs to, however, it became sort of a nice habit: coming to her dorm room after exhausting day at uni and searching where this time her little friend decided to nap or which furniture to devastate. Usually she quickly stripped off and got into some comfy sweats and would join her to rest before heating herself a dinner, rambling and complaining about her day. After few of their encounters princessa (yes, she had no idea, what her real name was, and that wasn’t the most sophisticated man can come up with, but kitty liked it; she hoped at least) let her scratch under chin and head, then her sides. In the end just spotting luna made her toss aside around her bed excited for cuddles.

///

Luna was laying on her sofa, it was quite decent Thursday afternoon. She was already after all her classes. In addition she did pretty good on Sustainable Development and finally felt that she made a good decision choosing studying this field; definitely it was time to pamper yourself. She took out some chocolates her mom send her, that she managed to keep for special a occasion. With box of sweets in one hand and fuzzy blanket that was laying in the mess she headed on her sofa. Kitty purred slightly seeing she finally is going to get some company. Last thing was playing on her tablet Friends- one of her guilty pleasures and settling as comfy as possible, though some little pieces she felt still sting her back. The leftovers of her previous days creative session, where scattered all over it. Even though she was sure music carrier was not her path, writing songs just for her enjoyment was her favourite pastime. However inspiration came at really unpredictable times, that’s why yesterday she ended up at some late 2 a.m with whole pile of paper and pencils trying to express something that was tingling in the tips of her fingers, toes and tickled her soul. Everything that came out that tonight, however, was still pretty shitty she stated taking a look of some papers. One of it ended up trashed into a paper ball and she threw it dramatically in front of her. With the corner of her eyes Luna noticed, how princess’s ears perked up and she lifted her head. Girl giggled seeing, how her hunting mood went off. Having crushed next piece of paper she tossed it in the air. In no time kitty landed next to it funnily pushing ball with her paws from side to side. Luna giggled quietly and took her raspberry flavored tear from coffee table and her attention came back to the tv that was screening some old episode of Friends. A soft thump distracted her and she spotted with a corner of eye that cat was sitting on window still. Still with a ball of paper in her mouth. Oh no. In matter of seconds her mind went all alert, however, not early enough cause kitten already slipped out through a window. Her cringy song of course was signed up countless times times with her full name, cause what else you do when no right words come to your mind. That was her typical Valente’s luck in whole glory.

Luna threw the blanket away putting carelessly aside her cup and rushed to the window.

Kitty was already on the balcony next to her.

„Kitty, please no no” Begging and desperation in her voice didn’t impress cat at all and she could only watch, how she entered the flat through half opened balcon door. „Princesa, please please come back.”

There was no time to analyse the situation properly, so Luna decided to went with first plan that came to her mind. She already could imagine, how her friends will laugh of her. Her plan involved jumping through dividing balconies barrier, breaking into some stranger’s flat and leaving as soon as she had this damn piece of paper in her hand again. First part of plan went quite smoothly. Or even too smooth. Still her heart was beating so fast, as it tried to tell her though the morse code to abort the mission. Luna peeked through a window. Of course. Of course it would have to be one of the super fancy flats that belong to smartass and asshole rich people.

Fair walls, velvet navy sofa and kitty on the centre of the carpet. Luna slipped through a door as quietly as possible and tiptoed to the cat. Kitty blinked at her letting her come closer, she could almost reach her with tips of her fingers when in the last moment she decided to grab ball and take it to another room. Fuck muttered Luna under breath.

Then she heard sound of closing doors and soft steps. She froze. Just froze in place, her limbs suddenly got unbearably heavy and the one thing she was able to do was slowly move her gaze up to person standing in front of her.

„Excuse me?” Slight stutter in his voice betrayed, how perplexed he was. „Your name is Luna, right?” He cleared his voice trying to get a hold of this situation. The most awkward smile appeared on girl’s face. She straightened her back turning to the oh god of course it have to be some really hot good looking boy. If there was some holy power it was probably now laughing its ass of this joke, cause it surely know she couldn’t deal with opposite sex not to even mention with extra hot representant of it.

„I really appreciate your unexpected visit and it’s quite flattering to meet you already halfway to my bedroom in this cute little shorts, but you could let me know a bit earlier.”

„Your cat devastates my flat.” She fired off to stop his smooth talk. Her cheeks were burning, probably the same color as nails that the day before her friend painted for her. She was in her pyjamas (not the cute sassy ones, but more like shorts with bees and sunflowers and pink top with some dumb quote and hearts, really matching duo inspired by no laundry time like 3rd week in a row) and this boy instead of properly freak out and kick her out maybe throw some insults, he stood in front of her all casually. His shirt was half unbuttoned, probably she caught him midst changing; at least his jeans were fully on, though god she wasn’t sure, if how good he looked in this perfectly tight fitted dark jeans was a blessing or curse.

„If you are done with checking me out,” He grinned at her running fingers through his hair. She eagerly shook her head in response making her hair fall messily in her face. Yeah, probably she was appearing not only as a creep, but also an underaged one. „I am sorry for your apartment? But I can’t connect, how it is linked to you my favourite sociology classmate appearing in my living room?”

His eyes were glued to her face watching cautiously, how blush appeared on both of her cheeks. She broke eye contact as soon as she finally put his face to a person. Oh, so he is the owner of gorgeous brown curls, who used to take a sit in front of her and Jim. Now she has to keep her mouth shut to not blurt out by accident, how many times they both made bets, who will dare to try out how soft his hair actually are. Oh that would be awkward. Almost as awkward as standing in his living room like this.

„I knew you looked somehow familiar. You are the one from the front, who can’t stop chuckling on whatever I say.” She muttered only in response keeping the rest to herself.

„Yeah, cause your theories are cute and so far from the reality, that’s a good choice you aren’t studying it as your mayor. And also you spat once water on Ambar. People, who make funny things to Ambar not to mention her gorgeous hair are my faves.” He ended his talk with a wink. Luna always thought these sassy winks were so overrated and cheesy. Why he made them feel so hot? Boy smoothed out sleeves of his shirt not taking slightest care to finally bottom the rest.

„You’re not nice.” Luna cleared her voice.

„And you prefer nice boys?”

„Omg, just stop.” She finally exclaimed groaning. Tension in the air began to be too much for her. „I just found myself here, cause your cat stole something from me.” She tried to put it out as clearly as possible to unable him to continue with his innuendos.

Boy raised one eyebrow and leaned to the one side to peek into his bedroom, where earlier entered kitty.

„You mean this piece of trash she is chewing on.” His comment made her lose last bits of chill. Not caring how many more jokes he was going to pull out about her being in his bedroom, she entered faking confidence and leaned upon kitty.

„Sorry princessa.” She muttered more to herself and stuffed piece of paper quickly into pocket of her shorts. Dark eyes followed her move with remorse. Feeling guilty she scratched her behind ear quickly, girl tossed on her back forgiving Luna immediately.

„Seems to quite like you.” His voice marked with a bit of surprise and respect. He was lazily leaning against the doorway.

„Probably, she feels she ows me after all the times I feed her and let her use my sweater as a bed.” Luna just shrugged her shoulders, considering, how she can now get out of this room.

Boy took few lazy steps into her direction and both of them found in the centre of his bedroom, right next to his huge twin bed (he had nice duvet, very nice, looking super luxurious, if she was already so embarrassed maybe she should ask if she could take nap there?)

„I am so sorry, for being the rude.” Oh, Luna knew she wasnt any bit sorry. The smirk hadnt left his face and his eyes hadnt hold any signs of apologies, he was just messing with her farther. „I know I am gone from my apartment a lot and I really appreciate you keep Lyra company.” One of his hands suddenly find its way in her hair and he wrapped a stray of her around his finger. So smooth. „Maybe its the time I would do something for you. Just suggest a thing.” Her chin was hold up a bit and he made their eyes connect. Remains of water from the shower were still dripping of his hair, small drops were making their way through his face, neck, tracing his chest. He bit his lip a bit and squint her eyes looking cautiously at her expression.

„I am the goodest I have ever been.” Luna tried to clear her throat before, but still it sounded weak. „No, thank you-„

„Matteo Balsano.”

„Matteo” And he wasnt named after a big galaxy stone, how lucky he had gotten in life. „I think I left my straithener turned on. I need to go.” Luna fired off.

Matteo just looked at her for few more seconds and chuckle. „Obviously, you left it, cause you look like a type of girl, that straightens her hair every day.” Luna narrowed her eyes, cause that was just becoming rude and mean, he just sighed at her expression. „Open the door for you or you’d rather exit the same way, you had entered?”

„Oh, dont mind me, balcony is fine by me.” She huffed. Luna felt his eyes on the back, when she closed his doors with a little more force, than necessary and still when clumsily climbed over barrier. All she needed now, was some peace, a lot of tea and sweets and maybe on sugar high she could forget about the whole embarassment at least for a few hours.

„Luna Valente, holy shit, have just aliens brought you back, cause I swear a minute ago, you werent there.” Redhead stood in the centre of her living room with her jaw dropped. So before mentioned forgetting Luna probably needed to relive it one more time. Great.

///

Small piece of paper hanged on the door and she could already tell without looking closer, that universe was playing with her again. That’s probably first and last time she came for her sociology class in a time, even a bit earlier (!) and she was sent back to her room, due to some fancy ethic conference happening. It’s not like she was looking forward to this class or was eager to learn. She might thought like once or twice oh i’m gonna meet again this matteo boy in 3 days or is i wonder is he going to mention our cringy encounter around all these people, but for sure it wasn’t occupying her mind. Having deliberated on it she was now able to state she doesn’t care at all about this boy. Funny when girl mentioned it to her favourite redhead, she bursted into laughter spilling coffee on her jeans.

Luna went over her current situation countless times and analyse through every way possible: this matteo boy might have nice legs and pretty hair but apart from that he is an ass, whose presence is highly redundant in her life.

Even though everything was settled clear, somehow she was going over her choice of her skirt a bit longer than usual. To be fair already giving up comfy pants was an abstain from routine, that should be enough to alarm her. A little voice in back of her head try to justify, she just wanted to show this rude boy she doesn’t look like 5 year old most of the time. Having settled on a navy straight one, she noticed she still had a half an hour of spare time and instead of laying on her bed and scrolling through her instagram feed, she picked an eyeshadow palette, that her cousin gave her on her last birthday. Most of the shades were still left untouched, cause film evenings with friends didn’t demand looking good. She put a bit of fair one on her lid and then glitter goldie orange. And now this fancy eyeshadow was smeared all over her face, cause what was the use of them, when she was going to spend the rest of the day binge watching Friends with Jim. She groaned giving up and tried to work on the other eyes with fresh makeup wipe. Loud knock on her door made her sigh in relief praying that redhead knows a bit more about unmakeuping then she did.

„Why this glitter doesn’t come of so smoothly like in all these YouTube videos?”

„I don’t know really, but i promise we will try to help.” Instead of Jim in her doorsteps stood Matteo Balsano- her sassy neighbour with Lyra curled on his shoulder. Luna furrowed her eyebrows and crossed arms on her chest. „Lyra missed your cuddles and lately was too cold to open balcony, so i brought her by myself.”

Luna raised one of her eyebrows squinting eyes. This boy couldn’t be trusted especially when suddenly appearing here all nice with the cat in his hands.

„Damn, Balsano, just tell your stargirl it is you, who needs her cuddles.” Boy, who seemed to be just passing by, patted Matteo on his shoulder, then quickly picked up the pace. Not only has he earned angry glare from Balsano, but also a slap with a hard-cover book on his head from blonde girl walking on his side.

„Don’t fuck his situation even more Ramiro. His kitty pick-up line is already cringy enough.” She didn’t even tried to tone down her voice. Luna wasn’t sure, how Matteo was still standing in front of her instead of rushing behind those two.

„You wanna come in?” Finally stuttered out Luna. Matteo nodded slightly, his body all tensed and she could swear his cheeks got slightly redder.

He put Lyra on the floor, she immediately headed to her bathroom, presumably the sink. At least she knew here, what she wanted.

„I was hoping on meeting your cute shorts.” He seemed to gather himself enough to pull again some stupid jokes against her. „Should I rush from the beginning to the bedroom, as it seems like some sort tradition of you.”

„Ha ha ha” He invited himself, didnt gave her any proper explanations and was playing at her cost. „Please, take better you super funny jokes at your place. I dont think my small room will fit so much of your ego, chico fresa” Muttered out Luna grabbing makeup wipe from the kitchen table, where she left it.

„Chico fresa?” He furrowed his eyes and took a seat on her sofa, feeling already too comfortable. He moved a bit and took out rolled chips bag.

Luna just shrugged her shoulders. „Thats people call such little snobs, who think too highly about themselves.”

„Oh” His voice fulled with seeming understanding. His legs suddenly found their way on her coffee table. „And how you would call then girls, who come without invitation to boys bedrooms?” He tilted his head watching, how she hid her blush with the wipe. „Chica delivery, sounds fine?”

„Get out now”

#soy luna #lutteo fanfic #lyra #matteo balsano #luna valente #mine

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rogue-jester365 · 5 years ago

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His Tears, Her Demons(Castlevania Fanfiction)

Author: Rogue-Jester365( on Wattpad with the same name and my account Deviantart called DecemberOwl)

Disclaimer: As all of you know, I do not own Adrien "Alucard" Tepes. He belongs to the creators of the Castlevania games and show.

__________________________________

Chapter 1: Someone New

Alucard

It had only been seven days since my father's defeat, but it always feels like it was yesterday. His castle and the Belmont Hold was now mine to protect and to be sure none of it went to waste. Humanity still has a chance to go on. My mother could now rest in peace, maybe even my father since they are both likely together now. But despite all of that, I couldn't help but feel empty inside.

Trevor Belmont and Sypha Belnades, the only two friends I ever had were now gone, moving on with their lives. The only family I had was dead. I realized then that I was now alone. But at least every morning was a beautiful one. I found some bliss in that. It was one of the few things here that I would find enjoyable. It wasn't much but it did something for me.

___________________________________

Before I exited the castle, I grabbed two buckets to collect some water. I had a small smile on my face as I felt the cool breeze against my face as I walked to the river near the castle. I heard a few birds chirping as the sound of the river grew louder. When I got there, I knelt down by the river and began to fill the buckets with water. I still kept alert of my surroundings, in case if anything happens. Just when I finished filling them both, I heard someone humming not far from where I was. I slowly stood up and turned my head to my left, which was the direction I heard it coming from. Out of curiosity, I began walking towards where the humming was, leaving both of my buckets of water behind.

As I walked, the humming grew louder. Which meant that I was getting closer. After half a minute of walking, I was close enough to see who was humming and stopped. My eyes widened slightly from the sight. It was a woman, a human woman. She looked to be only eighteen years of age. She had long, dark auburn hair that was held by a crown braid that was half up, pale skin that looked soft to the touch, but I couldn't see her eyes since she was looking down. She was dressed in black gown and a dark blue hood. She was currently filling a red pitcher with water from the other side of the river.

Without thinking, I took a step forward and heard something snapped. I looked down and saw a broken twig under my boot. I then looked back at the woman, but when I did she was running off. Her pitcher was laying ungracefully on its side by the river. The water within it was pouring out from it and was streaming back to the river.

I wanted to shout "Wait" to the woman but I didn't. I just sighed in response from what happened and turned away. I began walking back to get my water and head back to the castle. But I stopped after only four steps and turned my head back. I looked at the red pitcher that was now empty and needing to be filled.

" Perhaps, I should give the stranger a proper greeting and bring her that water she needed.", I said to myself.

___________________________________

After I filled the pitcher with water, I followed the direction I last saw the woman take. She couldn't have been far, at least I hope not. As I walked, I noticed that it was much quieter here. No birds were out, no bees, no foxes, or deer. Only the trees and grass were here. Not a lot of sun here, even though it was the middle of the day.

I searched for fifteen minutes of where the woman was or at least where she might be. I then found a small stone cottage that was covered in vines and moss, surrounded by lovely flowers. I saw no one outside but I noticed a small silhouette of a woman in the window." This must be where she lives.", I thought to myself. I walked to the cottage and once stopped once I was at the door. I lifted one hand up to knock while the other held the pitcher. I knocked three times on the door and waited. Not a minute later, I heard footsteps approaching the door. The door then opened and it was her. She gasped then averted her eyes from me.

I looked at her with a calm expression on my face. We were both silent for a small moment until she asked," Something you needed, sir?". Her voice was soft and a bit shaky, like she was afraid of something or me.

" You left your pitcher by the river.", I explained as handed her the pitcher," I filled it up with water for you.".

She didn't take the pitcher at first. She just stood there, still averting her eyes from me. Her hands then slowly reached out a little and then finally took the pitcher." Thank you.", she muttered.

" You're welcome.", I returned. I just kept watch of her for a small moment then turned my head side to side.

My eyes then returned to her." You have a lovely home.", I complimented to spare us both from the awkward silence.

" Thank you.", she muttered.

We were silent yet again for a small moment. But she finally glanced up at me but only for a second. I caught a small glimpse of her eyes at that time. They were both as blue as the sky after a rainy day. Almost the same shade of blue as my mother's eyes.

" Pardon me for being rude, ma'am. But what is your name?", I asked her to satisfy one of the curiosities that's been on my mind.

" Cristine.", she answered with the same soft and shaky tone .

" Cristine.", I repeated to myself. I felt the corners of my lips curl up a bit as I said her name. I didn't understand why though. I then clear my throat and went back to having my clam and almost emotionless expression to keep me from smiling any further. Not that I didn't want to, but because it wasn't entirely natural for people to smile just from a name.

" Well then Cristine, I am Adrian Tepes. I live not far from here.", I told her.

" That's nice.", she responded as she looked down on the ground like she was searching for something. Probably still trying to avoid looking at me.

" Well...", I started but didn't finish. I didn't know what to say or ask. The curiosities on my mind were too invasive to ask and I only just met her.

I thought it was probably best to leave her now." Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Cristine. I hope to see you again soon.", I told her. I meant it when I said "pleasure". I was glad to not be alone in these woods.

" Best that you don't.", she responded. It surprised and confused me a little from hearing that. Before I could ask why, she closed the door.

I sighed to myself then began to head back to the castle. I was rather hurt when she told me that we shouldn't meet. I was looking forward to actually speaking to another person.

" Well, at least I've met someone today and I don't have to keep losing my mind.", I said to myself as I entered the castle.

___________________________________

The next day, I was out collecting food and water for myself. The morning was still bright, birds were out again, animals going about their everyday lives. I still felt a bit of bliss in that.

I didn't even think of Cristine since yesterday. I only focused on my daily routines, which was nothing more than waking up, collecting food and water for the day, talking with my "two friends", wondering what might have been if things were different with everything that has happened, then I sleep.

Just when I finished filling up the basket with food and the bucket with water, I heard someone approaching in the distance. I slowly placed the food down and dashed to where this someone was. I heard the stranger squeal as I tackled her to the ground.

Just when I lifted myself up to look have a better look at the stranger, I was shocked from seeing it was. Cristine looked up at me with fear in her round sky blue eyes, almost looking like she'll cry at any moment." Please, don't hurt me.", she begged.

" Cristine, I-- I'm sorry.", I quaked before I quickly got off her. I then offered her a hand to help her up. She hesitantly took my hand and I help her back on her feet.

" Please, forgive me, I thought you were someone else.", I explained. I let her hand go and she held herself.

" It's alright, I understand.", she strangely reassured me.

" What brings you here? I thought you told me yesterday that we shouldn't meet again?", I asked her.

" Yes ... Well, that's what I came here to talk to you about.", she told me. I crossed my arms, listening to what she was saying.

" I wanted to apologize for my rude behavior yesterday. I was being unkind when you told me farewell.", she explained to me in a soft and less timid voice," I've just been distant from people for a while now with all the Church and the witch huntings and all.".

" Keeping your guard up from a world of madness, I understand entirely.", I calmy told her. Of course I did. My mother was burnt at the stake because of the Church accusing her of witchcraft. She was obviously hiding in these woods to avoid being accused. She had a good reason on being just as alone as I was.

" Well um... Adrian, is it?", she asked.

" Yes.", I responded.

" I was... Um... I was just curious, since me and you are probably the only ones in these woods...", she was nervously rubbing her fingers together until she finally finished with," Like to join me for tea sometime."

This began to intrigue me, a strange woman who actually wishes to know me. Most people would either want to hunt me or nothing to do with me. But offer was neither of those things. It could be a trap of some sort, but I didn't sense anything false about her. She doesn't seem like that kind of girl, despite the fact I didn't know anything about her other than her name. Perhaps this could be my chance to know her. Not for anything intimate, but so I could finally no longer be alone anymore, to have a friend again.

I smiled at her and said," I would like that.". Her lips twitched into a small smile back at me.

" Well, then till we meet again.", she said then turned away. She took only two steps before turning back at me to say " Bye" with a small wave. I waved back at her. She turned away again then walked away again, most likely back to her cottage.

I watched her for a small moment then turned my heads. My food and water were still at the same place. I walked to them and picked them up. I headed straight to the castle with a smile on my face.

#alucard #castlevania #fanfic #literature #romance #castlevania anime #anime #love #netflix #netflix castlevania

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mikeyd1986 · 8 years ago

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MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 67, August 2017

On Monday morning, I had my Healthy Cooking on a Budget class at Balla Balla Community Centre in Cranbourne East. With only a few more weeks until the end of term, the class size has significantly been reduced and today there was only 5 other people in the kitchen. However, it seemed to have a positive effect on me as I felt more efficient and more relaxed. I remember being heavily criticised in high school and at TAFE for “not getting involved enough” in group work and this could be the reason why I find it difficult to handle not knowing what to do. Structure will always be necessary for me to succeed in life.

I do believe that Kevin and I make a great team together. Even though I’m an introverted person and lack self-confidence at times, I also see myself as very hard-working and diligent if you give me a task and explain it clearly enough to me. Today we made a sweet orange fillo tart, a savory tart and an oven-baked sweet potato. Making the curd was actually a fun process. Combining caster sugar, cornflour, orange juice and orange zest in a saucepan, you quickly whisk the mixture until it thickens before adding the egg yolks and refrigerating.

Next we started layering and applying canola oil to the fillo pastry sheets. Unlike shortcrust and puff pastry, fillo pastry is very thin and delicate to work with but it didn’t take long for me to get the hang of placing the sheets down gently and pushing them into the tart holes of the baking tray. Next we began preparing the vegetables for the savory tarts. Chopping up red onions, mushrooms, zucchini and parsley, we then cooked them off before adding in some smooth ricotta cheese, feta cheese, salt and pepper.

The last part of the sweet fillo tarts involved making a meringue by combining egg whites and slowly adding in the caster sugar whilst beating the mixture to form soft peaks. We then placed the meringue onto each of the tarts and popped them in the oven for five minutes to brown the meringue slightly. http://www.ballaballa.com.au/progra...

On Monday night, I attended my Body Balance class at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. This was my second time with instructor Cas (Kaz?) and once again it was a really enjoyable class. It was basically exactly the same release as last time but it didn’t bother me as I still got plenty of benefits out of it. The class is both stimulating and relaxing with a focus on increasing flexibility, core strength, balance and reducing stress levels.

The poses/movements that we did in tonight’s class include: Tai-Chi warm up (Divers pose, Side and Forward Lunges with Sweeping Arms), Sun Salutations (Mountain pose, Forward Fold, Downward Facing Dog, Plank, Baby Cobra, Kneeling Lunge), Standing Strength (Stork pose, Aeroplane, Warrior 1, Three Legged Dog), Hip Openers (Pigeon pose, Prayer with Side Twist), Core (Flip The Dog), Pilates (Bicycle, Bridge with Leg Lift, Scorpion with Tricep Pushup), Yoga Twists (Thread the Needle, Reverse Triangle pose) and Relaxation (Guided Visualisation). https://lesmills.com.au/bodybalance

On Tuesday afternoon, my parents and I went to see the film Annabelle: Creation at Village Cinemas Fountain Gate. It actually came at a really good time because I was feeling unmotivated, depressed, upset and guilty all day. I seem to get really emotionally invested whenever I make a mistake and it affects somebody else is a negative away. I can’t help it. But it’s a really good learning experience for me at the same time. There’s nothing like going to the movies to take your mind off things.

Annabelle: Creation is a prequel to the 2015 film Annabelle. This time, the action focuses on the Mullins family who tragically lose their daughter Bee (Samara Lee) in a car accident. Twelve years later, the Mullins’ invite a nun and several young girls from a orphanage to reside in their home. But it’s not long before that creepy doll Annabelle is discovered and all hell breaks loose.

If you combined elements from Paranormal Activity and The Ring, you’d get something pretty close to this film. You can check off most of the horror movie cliches here...creaking floorboards and doors, sudden loud noises, ghost girls, demonic possession, symbolic crosses. Thankfully, it makes up for things in the storyline department and some really great performances from Lulu Wilson as Linda, Talitha Bateman as Janice and Anthony LePaglia as Samuel Mullins. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5140878...

On Wednesday morning, I had my Strength Training session with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness in Berwick. I was still feeling bad about what happened over social media yesterday and decided to get it out of my system with Luke today. I have to remember to not take things so personally and reassure myself that everything will be okay. It’s not like I intended to piss anyone off by tagging people in my posts. It just got out of hand and I needed someone to be brutally honest with me. So it’s done and dusted now.

WARM-UP...Today I started with my usual flowing yoga sequence of thread the needle and pigeon pose. For some reason, I always get myself un-coordinated when I start doing it but eventually I get it. Next I did 3 rounds of 15 glute bridges with a resistance strap bound around my knees. Lastly, I did some stretches into my wrists by leaning over, leaning back and doing figure 8 movements over them.

DEVELOPMENT...Today was my first time doing weighted front squats. Unfortunately, I wasn’t mentally prepared for this and my anxiety was trying everything to ruin it for me. I had to turn down the volume on those negative voices inside of my head...”I can’t do it. Why is this so hard for me? What’s wrong with me?”. Frustration and anger towards the self leads to giving up and wasn’t prepared to do that. Luke was trying his best to explain the technique of placing the bar onto your shoulders and keeping your elbows lifted up high before squatting. It’s just something I need to practice and eventually I’ll improve.

It took me several attempts to finally get it and thankfully Luke had a lot of patience and wanted me to get it. The pain through my wrist and fingers was excruciating but only because my technique and placement of the bar was off. I told myself...“You need to be patient and kind to yourself, Michael. This is the first time you’ve ever done a front squat so you can’t expected too much. Don’t give up. You can do this.” And eventually, I was doing it. I did one round of 4 reps at 45kg, two rounds of 4 reps at 40kg and two rounds of 12 reps at 30kg.

WORKOUT...Today’s workout involved doing 5 rounds of the following: 20 kettle bell swings and 10 burpees. Looked easy enough on the whiteboard but it didn’t take long for that fatigue to kick in, particularly around the second and third rounds. Here comes to beads of sweat and the deep panting. I try not to let these things bother me anymore. Workouts are meant to be tough and there’s no shame in letting those noises of exhaustion out of my system. Who cares? Whatever the result, I should be super proud of myself. I got a time of 8 minutes and 40 seconds. https://www.facebook.com/breakawayf...

On Thursday afternoon, I had my very first Body Composition Analysis scan done at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. I tend to always be nervous when I have a first-anything done. It’s fear of the unknown but I was doing my best to remain calm and relaxed about it. Trainer Jovana walked me through what I had to do and it was all very straight forward...stepping onto a scale and grabbing some paddles. She then explained my results to me which was a little overwhelming but thankfully the sheet has all the terms defined on it when I look back over it later.

Here’s some of the more important results from the scan:

Height: 169.0cm Weight: 88.6kg (with clothes on and personal belongings) Age: 31 yrs Lean Body Mass: 65.2 (Ideal Range 50.2 - 53.3) Total Body Fat: 23.4 (Ideal Range 9.4 - 12.6) Skeletal Muscle Mass: 36.0 (Ideal Range 27.9 - 29.7) Body Fat Percentage: 26.4 (Optimal Range 15.0 - 20.0) Visceral Fat Level: 10 (Optimal Range 1 - 9) Overall score: 69/100

Overall, I think these results are pretty decent and could be a lot worse. But it also gives me an opportunity to improve and set some new fitness goals for myself. I mainly want to work on lowering my total body fat and body fat percentage. The other results are quite as alarming to me but all I have to do is keep exercising regularly, eating well, drink plenty of water and perhaps increase the intensity of some of my workouts when I’m ready. http://www.caseyarc.ymca.org.au/par...

On Thursday night, I attended my first Flow Tunes yoga class at Now, Yoga. in Narre Warren South. I haven’t been to the studio in over a month for several reasons...financial issues and trying to fit too many other things in during my week. But I had no more excuses left and honestly I really missed being there. It’s been a hectic day for me so I really needed to let go tonight and unwind on the yoga mat.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen the studio this packed before with roughly 13-15 other students. Basically, yoga teacher Keren Gurrieri had a selection of songs that she played instead of traditional Indian/Asian inspired music. There were songs from artists including Alicia Keys, David Gray, Adele, U2, Elton John and Sting. We did several flowing sequences of poses including:

Flowing Sequence 1...Downward Facing Dog, Three Legged Dog, Knee to Nose.

Flowing Sequence 2...Plank, Chaturanga, Cobra/Up Dog, Downward Facing Dog.

Flowing Sequence 3...High Lunge, Warrior 2, Joyful Warrior, Side Angle Pose. .

We also worked on some L-shaped handstands, jumping up onto the wall and forearm balances. My mind instantly went...“There’s no way I can do that.” but with some guidance from Keren, I ended up proving myself wrong and nailed an L-shaped handstand. I genuinely surprised myself because I’m usually so hesitant when it comes to inversions but I decided to give everything a go, even kicking up to the wall. It just takes a lot of strength, patience and practice but eventually you’ll get there. https://www.facebook.com/nowyogastu...

On Friday morning, I had my Strength Training session with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness in Berwick. I’ve honestly come such a long way in the last few weeks when I decided to actively start changing my mindset, using my fitness journal and feeling more comfortable training with Luke at UFT PLAYgrounds. The side conversations no longer bother me nor does that fact that I don’t have close friendships with any of the trainers and coaches there. Saying hello and how are you is more than enough.

WARM UP...Today I did my usual 20 reps of scorpion stretches on the blue foam mat before doing 3 rounds of 12 back extensions. It’s getting a lot easier for me and the burn in my thighs was not as intense. However, doing the single arm kettle bell lifts, I noticed that my lower back was starting to hurt again. Time to get the foam roller and rubber ball out again.

DEVELOPMENT...Today I learned another new movement called Deficit Deadlifts. Essentially the only difference is doing the deadlifts standing on a stack of two plates. However, I was still finding this difficult mainly because I had to consciously place the weight back in my heels and maintain my balance on the plates. Plus my lower back and thighs were starting to hurt. But even with all these barriers, I persevered and eventually managed to do 5 rounds of 12 reps at 40-50kg.

WORKOUT...Today’s workout was another sweaty one and also mentally challenging. I had to do 6 rounds of the following movements: 40m sled push (up and back the green track) and 10 push ups. The fatigue was kicking in fast around the second or third round. The self-doubt was trying hard to derail me...“I’m not sure I can do this. Can I even survived six rounds?” But again I chose not to give up. Sometimes it’s not about how fast you can do it and more about just getting it finished.

The workout was also bringing up some emotional baggage for me, remembering how harshly I used to judge myself back in high school PE classes and comparing myself to others in group fitness sessions. “Why am I always the slowest? Why do I keep lagging behind the others? I mustn’t be good enough. Everyone else is better than me.”

And I even confided this in Luke today when I finished my workout. I felt so liberated about being open with him and also being able to let my self-judgement of the past go and genuinely be proud of my achievements. It was a big “Fuck You” to the negative voices inside my head and also to every person who thought I couldn’t do it. I proved it to myself that I could.

“When everything is goin' wrong. Don't worry, it won't last for long. Yeah, it's all gonna come around. Don't go let it get you down. You gotta keep on holding on...Up--up--up--Can only go up from here. Up--up--up--Up. Where the clouds gonna clear. Up--up--up--There's no way but up from here.” Shania Twain - Up (2002)

“It's so very unnecessary. Yeah, how insane to be so vain. It's so synthetic. I just don't get it I don't get it, baby, yeah, yeah. Don't be so obsessed. C'mon give it a rest. This is not some contest--just do your best. 'Cause no--oh body's perfect!” Shania Twain - What A Way To Wanna Be (2002)

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