#rules of internet

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[nyxshadowhawk]

One day, I'll have kids, and my kids are going to want to go on the internet. And this is what I'll tell them:

The internet is like Fairyland. It is a wondrous place, a place of many marvels and many opportunities.

It is also a dangerous place, with strange rules that often seem arbitrary — to navigate it, you have to learn its fairy-logic, and learn to speak its language.

It is a place of tests and trials — the folk can be cruel, pointlessly so, just because it amuses them. It's often not personal, even if it seems like it is. The worst are the Trolls, but they will lose power if you don't engage with them.

It is a place of illusion and lies. Everyone wears a mask, and not all the masked people are actually people. Don't believe everything you see or hear, for illusions are everywhere.

Time moves differently there. Entire days can go by, seemingly in an instant.

Do not accept anything you're offered, and be very careful to whom you tell your True Name.

[10yearsofdnp]

January 22, 2015: Happy 10 years to the most iconic Phil tweet of all time! 🫧👁️😭

[femboy-jerma]

Blåhaj (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

[secondbeatsongs]

my boss: can you believe it? my teenage son spent all night on his chromebook again; I could barely wake him up for school!

me: oof, that sucks. what was he doing?

my boss: well the tracking thing said he was on...git...hub?

me: ...oh? that's cool! that's a site for coders; you can find some really cool projects on there! I wonder what he was up to

my boss: I'll ask my husband. he said he'd check the history

(pause while boss texts her husband)

my boss: oh. he was looking for a way to get past the tracking software...

me, internally: based!! so proud of him!! godspeed dude, I believe in you!

me, out loud: oh, uh...parenting. parenting is hard, huh?

my boss: you have no idea T_T

[lighthouse-guardian]

personally i don't vibe with the english they/them because when referring to a known person it feels kind of intentionally ambiguous. which is not my relationship with gender. i want uncaring ambiguity. irrelevance. i want language to be completely and utterly uninterested in my gender. like in estonian where grammatical gender just does not exist. yeah this is a great idea everyone go learn estonian right now, starting today i will not be accepting any pronouns except tema/teda

[reactionimagesdaily]

[trungles]

I can’t tell if I’m kidding, really.

[typhoonquixol]

What do you mean they can see everything?

Tim: Jason. You have your tumblr profile set to public. People can see who you follow, and what you've liked.

Jason: No.

Tim: Yes.

Jason: So then everyone can see...?

Tim: Yes.

Jason: How many people know about my account.

Tim (smiling wickedly): Enough.

Jason: How to I make it private?

Tim: Why would I tell you that?

Jason glares at Tim with the hatred of a thousand suns.

Jason: Even if I deleted the account you'd recreate it by hand wouldn't you?

Tim: yep.

Jason, hands clasped together, leaning forward: I will pay you.

Tim: I could take over Wayne and Queen industries in a week if I wanted to, money doesn't matter to me.

Jason: Then what do you want?

Tim reaches behind the couch and picks up a black motorcycle helmet. He'd planned this interaction. Sonofa-

Jason: No.

Tim: no? Alright... Damien is going to love scrolling through so many-

Jason: FINE. Fine. Fine. You can use my bike.

Jason digs into one of his dozen breast pockets, pulls out his keys, and tosses it to Tim.

Tim: Cool. I'll give it back Friday night after I take Bernard out. You have until then to delete the account or set it to private.

Jason: Can't you just... hack the likes away?

Tim: That many? Not a chance. So either suck it up or delete it.

Tim walks away, satisfied and looking forward to driving the infamous Red Hoods bike into a brick wall.

Jason watches him go with pure hatred and respect. He opens his phone and checks. Sure enough he can see other peoples likes. He flicks back to his page and scrolls through his likes. 10,000 in just one month. How long had he stared at his phone on patrol?

He was never going to understand technology again was he...

Tim walks Bernard out of his apartment, promising him something really special. They finally get outside to the curb and Tim dramatically points to... nothing.

Bernard: Uh, cool. So are we walking to the surprise?

Tim: I left it right there what hap- I need to check Tumblr.

Bernard: Tumblr?

Tim: Yes.

Tim opens his phone and looks at Jason's page. He's posted a photo of himself driving in the middle of the street laughing like a maniac.

It is then followed by re-posts of several cutesy photos of animals hugging each other. Specifically of wolfs curled around their cubs, carrying them by their scruffs, and so on. Damian has already commented on seventeen, demanding why Todd would hide this from him.

Tim: That petty little...

Bernard: So what was the plan?

Tim: I blackmailed my brother into giving me his bike but he chose to expose the himself rather than let me use it.

Bernard: You mean that brother?

The six foot tall brick house that is Jason Todd appears behind Tim and slaps his brothers shoulder.

Jason: I said you could use my bike little bro. Not which one.

Jason sweeps his arm towards a vintage 1983 Honda Shadow he'd parked a few spots down.

Tim: Your kidding.

Jason: I'm not

Jason, leaning in closely to whisper: Because I know you wouldn't dare crash this one.

Jason, loudly chuckling: Have fun on your date. See you Bernard

Bernard: See you Jay.

Jason walks off cackling. He gets a ping on his phone. It's Grayson.

Grayson: Why didn't you tell me you liked wolves??? I could have been sending you wolf memes daily.

This is then followed by a tidal wave of adorable wolves.

Grayson: See? See i can give you memes. Jason let me make you happy!!!

Jason already regrets his decision.

[ashes2caches]

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

Love Like the Galaxy text posts, 1/1

[sleepingcloudhare]

Im dumb can u put this in Fortnite terms ?

SUGGESTIVE CONTENT WARNING

[yarrowleef]

huge win today for ME and huge L for that person i once got into a youtube comments argument with when i was a kid bc they kept insisting that toms "weren't allowed to have the -flower suffix"

[on-my-way-to-the-woods]

I've been somewhat involved in monitoring an endangered wildflower that grows locally and I am thrilled to be the one to confirm that our reintroduction efforts over the winter were successful. We have multiple flowering* individuals now growing in a unit of the preserve where they had died out a long time ago (which is incredible given how specific their needs are, this was a 'throw seeds and hope chance takes them where they'll grow' situation). All this and I can't post photos to introduce you to my wildflower friends because it'd narrow my location down to a handful of counties 😭

*it's a perennial, so I'm gonna call it a success even though we haven't gotten to seeds yet, there should be multiple years to attempt seeding. Just the fact that any of them grew at all is fantastic, it has a very specific niche.

[ninjasmudge]

he doesnt even know know famous court jester jerma...

peep the horror lore (that tumblr post that got huge. i found out theres a jerma wiki when looking this up again...)

[iftadwascool]