#s: lmscty

[9uk]

Let Me Stay Close To You  : part 1

⌲ summary : you were finally free from the worst nightmare of your life in high school. the doors of college welcomed you with open arms, you were set on living your best life in here, away from the toxicity back at home. that shimmer of hope in restoring your life, was somehow effortlessly crushed by a tap on your shoulder. “Hey Y/N, why don’t you say we catch up for a moment?”

⌲ pairing : bully!jungkook x reader

⌲ word count : 4.9k

⌲ genre : a whole lot of fluff maybe, refreshing jungkook, oc & friends ^-^

⌲ warnings : mentions of being a victim of bully, light grinding, suggestive terms

⌲ a/n : here it is! i’m so sorry if it’s bad :”

prologue > one  >  part two

You see, the reason why Jungkook constantly picks on you is—

Firstly. Although you were this sweet girl filled with compassion who treated everyone equally and nicely, you were nonetheless ostracised in school. Due to the fact that you covered up who your father was to protect yourself, and your family. 

“Wait Y/N, what does your father do?” One of your classmates had questioned, making sure she was pulling on and cutting off the right strings.

 Confirming, that it would be okay to ignore you.

“My father had died in an car accident a few years back.” Her eyes widened, in what you assumed as sympathy. “I only have my mom, who works at the coffee shop just around the corner of the street.” At that, her sympathy washes away and is replaced quickly by what you deemed as disassociation. All you receive is an ‘O’ shape formed on her mouth, before she slithers away to join her group of friends who carried Chanel bags and wore Gucci shoes to school.

 Everybody then knew you as the girl who is single-parented by a humble mother who works at a café down the street. There was this hierarchy in school, and there was almost no reason to get close to somebody who was not worth of connections and had no business strings to pull. To put it simply, your ass was not wealthy enough to suck up to.

And the perfect person to bully. (Without having their family company’s stock rate to drop.)

You try to pass off as indifferent as ever, like this was your life and everything to you is nothing more than a normality. 

But it isn’t. 

It’s sort of amusing how you had to travel to such extremities in order to make sure your journey in high school would be a smooth-sailing and unbothered one. 

You had rather those shallow-minded, materialistic people to keep an appropriate distance away from the girl in rags. Therefore, you lied.

“Oh there’s the girl whose father passed on from an accident.” Compared to, “Isn’t that the girl whose father committed embezzlement?” It’s somehow better in some way or another to lie about your father’s death than to tell the school the ugly truth.The former would cause people to avoid you, a fatherless child, while the latter would cause people to despise you, a criminal’s daughter. Sympathy was better than contempt, after all.

It’s been almost eight months since that—you could quite literally say, mind-blowing incident.

It was the time of the year where the first years would start enrolling into the colleges that have sent them an acceptance letter. It was the time, for a fresh clean start. 

For everybody. Especially you.

You got into a college a few hours drive far away from the hometown. You call it the hometown because that place had turned foul with the odour of filthy money, the values of the society you were living in back there unreservedly stinks of corruption and discrimination towards the less well-off and the weak—it wasn’t even yours to begin with.

 No, you didn’t want to acknowledge a place like that as your home.

You stuck out like a total sore thumb in that city. 

Surely the town had a beautiful cityscape, splattered with greyscale high-rised office buildings with doses of parks and bridges. 

It looked picturesque. 

Fact is, it only looked picturesque.

What lies behind the millionaire central business district was the cruelsome inevitable hierarchy and a deadly game of chess. 

Kill, or be killed.

You left for a peace of the mind, to put behind all the bad memories, nightmare of a terrible highschool life and the irreversible tragic situation your family was in. Your father was still an employee in that company, with no other choice but to work like a bull as a form of redemption to his wrongdoings.

 Meanwhile, your mother diligently worked as a barista and kept her profile low-key. She couldn’t enjoy her usual high-tea sessions with her housewife friends anymore, she couldn’t even lift her head when she stepped out of the house anymore. Tragic, indeed.

College was like a fresh breather. 

Like a clean and proper start to everything, considering no one from highschool was likely to be here with you. It was a chance to meet new, kinder people who did not steal your yoghurt or vandalise your belongings or maybe even split your forehead apart like a certain someone—and to finally live a life of someone normal. 

It was like a new shot at life. At least that was what you thought.

Carrying all your belongings from your old apartment, you hear noises coming from your dormitory.

 “Ah! What do I do? How am I going to cook all these ramen I bought?! Why am I so stu-oh my god!” Your roomie looks at you by the door, watching her go into a fit of frenzy. 

“You scared me! Why are you standing there like that?” She starts bursting into laughter. 

And you naturally let out a light chuckle, too. 

“I have a kettle, and it’s for sharing.” You lift up the pink sleek kettle you have in hand after overhearing her not-so-quiet state of despair. Her eyes twinkle with a gleam of hope, like her entire sanity just got saved. 

By a pink floral-printed, kettle.

“Thank you! You’re the best! I can already tell we’re going to get along just fine!” She beams in excitement and pulls you into a tight hug while you try to prevent all of your stuff from dropping onto the ground. 

Oh, so much for a kettle.

“I’m Sooyoung, nice to meet you…?” She chirps with her bright red lipstick and pearly white teeth—you already love her so much, your only friend in such a long time. 

“U-Uh, it’s Y/N.” You sheepishly grin, averting her sparkly eyes. 

So this is what the effect being deprived of any proper contact with humans felt like. You could feel chemistry building rapidly between the both of you, or maybe it was solely because you haven’t had a true friend in ages. 

Sooyoung was definitely outspoken and extroverted, simple-minded and direct with her feelings—which in contrary to you, who was leaning towards the more reserved and introverted side. Hanging out with Sooyoung made you feel like you had some self-worth, her strong initiative and inclusion towards you made you feel like you were needed as a friend, for once in so long.

 Regardless of your financial status. 

And no longer than a couple of days, the both of you had grown so close through the binge-watching of netflix and love for Toki’s fried chicken. The two of you hopped around campus, getting exploited to the publicity of various clubs and sport teams and adjusting in through the freshmen orientation you wished had never ended. Because the end of orientations meant the start of classes—which you weren’t such a sucker for anymore, knowing how much fun you could have to hang out with legitimate friends.

 It felt different, but it felt nice.

 To be able to speak without being afraid, to be able to tease and hug one another so casually without any obstructions of statuses. It felt nice to be able to be yourself, the Y/N who played tag, built sandcastles and rambled about the the number of dogs you were going to own in the future under the night stars, with your bestfriend. It felt nice to be able to open up your soul.

And that is why suddenly, you were a fan of raising the roof. You became one of those girls in their little squads back in high school who constantly had silly grins plastered onto their faces, squealing over celebrity crushes and skipping off to movie dates hand-in-hand with their girlfriends. And just for once, you felt like you were normal. You fitted in easily, with the help of Sooyoung, became just like everyone else. She introduced you to two of her other friends, Wendy and Seulgi, who were just as amazing as she was.

“Come on, let’s go Y/N.” Your mouth open agape as you looked at her, dumbfounded. What exactly were you supposed to wear to a friends outing? It was the first time you were actually going to meet up with her friends. 

“I-I have nothing to wear.” You blurt out, and Sooyoung makes a sound of something in between a scoff and a laugh.

 “Do you even need to wear anything? We’re only meeting Seul and Wen for coffee!” You embarassingly scratch the back of your head, feeling like you read too much into a coffee date.

 “Here,” She steps foward and pulls out a top from your section of the wardrobe. “This should do.” Sooyoung shakes her head as you get dressed, thinking how much you’ve never went out before.

You put on a long sleeved floral top and jeans. You have never been yourself in highschool, you felt like you didn’t have the right to, dress all girly and pretty—it felt like something only the rich and pretty could do. 

During the school break, you let your hair down, started wearing contact lenses, and even dyed your hair a light brown—you were almost unrecognisable. The thought that no one was going to laugh at you for dolling yourself up, had you shrieking in excitement as you happily made your way to the mall.

So here you were, sitting at the café nearby the university, having a session of gossip with your own little squad.

Having something or someone you love is honestly the greatest vulnerability. Once you have a taste of something, you wouldn’t want to let that go—no, not just yet. Once something is under your possesion, and the worst thing that can happen is that you would grow so accustomed to it. If you told yourself 4 years ago that you would be sitting with a bunch of your closest friends, chattering happily and discussing about what you going to wear to the party later in the evening over lunch— you would probably laugh in utter disbelief, for that would only happen in your wildest dreams. And the wildest dream were you living in, sitting at the caféteria having a serious meeting about how your clique should wear a similar concept of clothes and stride into the frathouse like bad bitches.

Though, it seemed like Seulgi was the only one serious about this whole thing.

“No thanks, I’m good.” Wendy opts out and decides to go with her own full black style.

“Um okay, who’s with me?” 

You could tell Seulgi was nervous, by how hard she is trying to come up with a mastermind plan with the four of you to at least leave an impression in the welcoming party. Her eyecandy, Taehyung was going to be there, she had to somehow step up her game, right? After drooling over him in Biology lectures for what seemed like weeks, she was finally going to gain a chance at some sort of interaction with the “love of her life”—as she proclaims—at this very major and important party of entering the college life. 

There was a foam of unsettling silence until Sooyoung decides to disrupt it. All of you wanted nothing more but to drink away your feelings of sorrow for the term that was about to commence.

“Okay fine, I will do it with you.” Sooyoung volunteers, seeing as to no one was particularly interested. 

“I guess I will join too then..” You raised, and Seulgi’s pout transforms into a smile at once. She proceeds to tug on Wendy’s arm, who was boredly using her phone while waiting for Seulgi to be over that idea. But as she looks up to three pairs of eyes expectantly waiting for her reply, she sighs. 

“I can’t believe the two of you agreed to it. Disappointed is an understatement.” With a roll of her eyes, the four of you laughed heartedly in satisfaction and carried on with the conversation about boys, boys and boys. 

After a long bonding session, which consisted of them being shocked as to how you’ve never dated before, which they found impossible—because they thought you were really gorgeous and lovely. As the girls scanned your features upon Wendy’s compliment, you knew they noticed the scar at your left temple—by how their eyes linger there for a moment before quickly diverting their gaze to the rest of your face as an act of oblivion. They chose to not question something you didn’t mention out of your own will.

 Who would have guessed you were a victim of bullying?

Suddenly, your chair screeched loudly “Oh crap, I’ve got to go submit some papers at the office!” You weren’t done with registering your details with the university, and had a lot of troublesome loose strings to tie up for your father wanted to you to receive the allowance he gave to you every month from the school. The office was closing barely in a few minutes, and you had to check it off your to-do-list by today. 

“Sorry girls, I have to rush off now,” You felt bad for leaving your friends like in the middle of an enticing horror story Seulgi was telling, but nonetheless you snatched your belongings and made your way out of the café, flustered.

 “See you at the dorm at 6!” Sooyoung yells out to you and you reply her with a sloppish wave. The rustic copper bells at the door twinkles violently as it busts open, and you’re flying off to campus.

The smell of succulent wild berries and soft white violets.

 He can almost recognise that smell from anywhere. Jungkook looks up from the game on his mobile device. His characters were groaning loudly in pain in his eardrums, losing the match but he squints in the distance, putting all the broken misplaced pieces of nostalgia together once again. Was that who he thought it was? Your face lingered faintly at the back of his head but he shook his head and pushed the suspicion away.He whips around and tilts his head from the dull pain of the whiplash. The clicking of her leather boot heels become amplified as his vision focused solely on her back—the way her soft fawn locks sway from side to side with every step she took, the way her cute pink top flowed in the wind of spring, this aura of confidence she had radiating around her entire form, the scent she left behind was persistent in his nose, and he hates to admit but it further confirms his suspicions. 

But no, it couldn’t be.

 It couldn’t be at all.

 He must be hallucinating, but she was on his mind the whole day, the sight of her slowly disappearing into the university’s building from the open walkway etched on his very mind. Something about that girl hit the sense of familiarity in him—with a pinch of longing and a sense of regret.

“Can’t wait to see Taehyung,” Seulgi’s feet tap on the ground in anticipation mixed with nervousness. She must have known she was not the only one fawning over Taehyung’s perfectly sculpted features. 

“Can’t wait to get wasted.” Wendy softly follows after. 

Sooyoung smacks Wendy, “And yours truly would have to drag your asses back?” She sulks at the fact that she had to control her liqour and not go all out tonight—for she was all of yours’ ride back. 

“Did you happen to forget that you’re the only one who’s got a driver’s license?” Wendy reminds, and Sooyoung is left with a defeated sigh, wishing she hadn’t learnt to drive before any of you all did.

The house was already slightly bouncing from the booming pop music inside, the windows doing a bad job at encasing the sound waves. The party has not even begun, but the whole house was filled with guests—freshmen, mostly—and it felt like half of the college’s students were present here. You swear you heard a few whistles as the four of you walked through the door, entering one by one, completely fazed by the entire atmospehere of the party. You sucked in a deep breath, calming your nerves and preventing yourself from developing a panic attack from how loud and crowded this place. 

You felt strange, your seventh sense pricking at your thoughts, as if a pair of eyes were watching you intensely. You weren’t used to being with large amounts of people, and to be frank, you already felt suffocated whenever you were in class. The comfort of being alone and having space was not appreciated enough. Especially in crazy parties like this.

A few moments later, while everyone seem to find home at this stranger’s house, you were still stiff and a little uncomfortable. Wendy went to join in a game of beer pong—you can hear her hollers of victory every once in a while. And Seulgi made her way to find her dreamboy, gathering courage to make her moves on him. Sooyoung decided to head to the kitchen to grab drinks, pulling you along, and chugged the unruly liquid in the red cups down too easily. Sooyoung poured you a shot of vodka while she had a cup of tequila in hand, “Y/N, drink this to loosen up.” She says assuringly and you grab suspicious red cup from her hands, looking at it with worry and hesistation. You weren’t one to drink alcohol, you never have and never wanted to. But you guessed it was time to try. 

Hands shaky, you immediately brought the drink to your lips, brows furrowing tightly as you down every drop of the vodka. “Wait Y/N, I should pour some soda water to water it down for you.”Sooyoung spins the cap close on the bottle of vodka as she looks around for the soda water. 

Cheeks full of hard liquor, both of your eyes widened when she turned around, with the red cup empty in your hand. You swallowed, and it burned your throat. Grimacing from the taste left on your tongue, you looked at her in confusion. “Was I not supposed to just-“

“Oh my goodness, Y/N!” Sooyoung’s face lit up in surprise. “I didn’t know you can hold your liquor that well! I should just..” She drinks straight from the bottle, like a baby sucking on a milk bottle, the hard stuff entering her system. 

“Ah, this just feels too good!” She screamed in pure intoxicated happiness and grabbed your arm, heading to the dance floor. “Let’s dance.”

 A light buzz clouded your mind from the three-quarter full cup of vodka as you smiled sheepishly, making your way to the dance floor. Sooyoung jumped up and down, swinging to the music and letting her body flow to the rhythm. Her enthusiasm infected you, causing you to slightly follow and move accordingly to her actions and the deafening music. The buzz gradually grew bigger, taking over your whole body, your limbs were dancing on their own as you slowly flutter your eyes shut to the feeling. You were smiling too much—almost unnecessarily as you blended right into the dancing crowd, Sooyoung long drifted away from you, probably having fun with somebody else who matched her high level of energy. 

You were certain that you were strongly inebriated, for your cheeks were burning red, and you were dancing. 

Dancing.

 If the Jeon demon was here, he would have probably took a video of you and laughed at your horrendous movements. But you were having the time of your life, enjoying yourself in this party, dancing. 

Fuck, why were you even thinking about him? You felt so free of worries, without any sort of burden‚ like a caged bird set free—you were floating with numerous bodies, to the song you always hear on the radio, with no judgemental eyes or hushed murmurs about the way you were acting. 

Your confidence was always weak, but for today, it got stronger—at least just for a moment. Everything felt perfect—even though you were alone, but you knew that you had three friends by your side and that was more than enough. You didn’t want this moment to end.

“Having fun?” A voice echoed in your ear. Although you felt like you were on fire, you manage to feel the hands that creeped up onto your hips, leaving you on slightly on edge and caution. The touch burned through the fabric of the short dress you were wearing, if it was even possible, and you tried turning around. But you failed as the strong grip held you in place, no one would notice you were struggling as everyone on the dance floor just looked like a bunch of twirling limbs. Before you could turn your head to catch a glimpse of the person who was laying their hands on you, he snuck closer to press against your back and rested his chin onto your shoulder. The side of his face so close to yours, you couldn’t even tilt your head around to see his face. It was like he didn’t want you to see his face, for all you know, self-consciousness.

 It wasn’t like you minded too much about people’s faces, if anything, you knew better than anyone else than to judge a book by it’s cover. Cover, meaning status, family background, level of affluence—let alone their damn physical appearance.

“You look amazing tonight,” His voice trickles into your ears like candy, sending shivers down your spine with a single compliment. But one thing for sure, was that he smelled so good, and it made you want to bury your face into his chest and let him be the only thing you were going to smell for life.

The faceless stranger didn’t grind onto your ass or sneak his hands further up to your breasts, but the both of you comfortably stayed like that, swaying gently to the music. You silently chided yourself for letting someone touch you like that without knowing his name, or seeing his face—but you enjoyed the way you were being held a little too much than you’d like to admit.

 Was this some kind of undiscovered trait of lust you had surging throughout your body?

There was only one way to find out.

You tilted your head back and pushed yourself against him, feeling his crotch press against the crack between the cheeks of your ass.He lets out a deep chuckle, one you assumed was filled with want and amusement from your gnawing desperation to feel him—without knowing anything about this stranger.

 Maybe you were too drunk, mind flooding with lustful thoughts and core aching a little from his strong grasp on your hips. But as he interlocks his fingers with yours and moves towards the stairs to bring you upstairs and satisfy your needs that you clearly displayed a few seconds ago, you halted in your tracks. “Waiiit,” You tug him back, speech slurring. And he refuses to turn back to face you, as though he is afraid that you would turn him down once you see his face.

 At the same time, he’s listening. 

He’s curious as to what you have to say to him.

With his back still stubbornly facing you, you pull him closer and unlock your fingers, spinning him around. 

“What’s your name?” You reach out to grab his hand once again, for reassurance. He looks at the floor, scared and nervous to meet your eyes for the very first time. The stranger was elegant and charming—you could sense it clearly from the aura he was radiating around you. 

But it was also clear as day that he lacked confidence. 

“I’m.. Namjoon, s-sorry,” You clutch his hand tighter to prevent him from leaving abruptly. 

You genuinely enjoyed dancing with him, and you feel like he was someone you would want to get to know better.

“Namjoon, look at me. Let me see you properly?” The words came out more like a question, nonetheless he raises his head carefully, as if to give you time you prepare for how ugly he looked. 

You know it all, too well. 

It wasn’t even a few milliseconds after you looked at his face before—“Namjoon, you look amazing too.” You returned the compliment, not for the sake of boosting his self-confidence or to return the praise—but he really, looked amazing. His brown hair is parted and combed back messily, his monolids and plump lips rested perfectly on his face. You couldn’t really understand why he was self-conscious about his looks, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A smile flashes onto his face upon your words and he covers his mouth with his hand shyly. God, he had dimples too. This man was downright gorgeous—it was a pity he couldn’t see that for himself.

 “I mean it, you look handsome.” You smile back at him, adoration for this man escalating in you as he chuckles.

 “Thank you, uh..” Namjoon’s eyes widened as to how he had missed your name. “I’m Y/N.” You finish for him and he shakes his head at how rude he must have seemed without asking for your name. He panics.

 “Sorry I just-” “It’s okay Namjoon.” You giggle, and he leans foward to press a chaste kiss to your lips. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect.” Your cheeks grow red at the sudden intimacy, being reminded of where the both of you had left off. 

“Shall we go upstairs?” He suggests politely—though, what may happen between the two of you, weren’t so much going to be so. 

“Sure-” 

“Hey Y/N, why don’t you say we catch up for a moment?”

 A tap on your shoulder brings your attention away from Namjoon, your hand dropping from his, hanging loosely by your side at the voice.

At his voice. 

You would never forget the voice who brought the insults and mean remarks into your ears, slowly feathering down to your pile of insecurities. 

You are certain, that you would never forget his voice.

You could feel your legs begin to tremble as your eyes meet with the devil’s, dark and fierce—piercing right through your soul. The devil, being none other than Jeon Jungkook. 

The first thing you feel is denial.

You can’t help but let your jaw drop, lips parting in complete shock and dread. No,no,no, it can’t be. You repeat like a mantra in your heart, hoping it gets to your tipsy head. It just can’t be. This has to be some sort of sickening plot twist in a Korean drama series, right? You tried pinching hard at your thighs, wincing as the pain assures you that this in fact, wasn’t a dream. And Jungkook, the guy who filled your teen years with plain torture and unkept peace, was standing right infront of you. 

The second thing you feel is fear.

You could feel your breath start to stutter, as you subconsciously take a step back from him with shaky legs. Namjoon, as expected, was gone by now. Probably having fled as he sees a far more dominating and confident look in Jungkook’s eyes. You were afraid. So afraid that this terrible man would come into your life and ruin everything for you. Sooyoung, Seulgi and Wendy would all probably leave you as this devil incarnate, would claim you to being his punching doll, once again. No one would want to stay close to a victim of bully. No matter how much sympathy they are able to gain, or how much external kindness they are able to receive—they still never have true friends to hang out with, share secrets between and to protect each other. Because who in the world would want to include losers in their fancy little squads?

 Victims are only viewed as a burden, bringing down the entire group, being the plus one in everything—it’s hard to open up to people that easily, afraid of saying the wrong things or doing things that would make others upset.

 It’s hard.

 And you solemnly pray Jungkook wouldn’t make it hard again for you in your new life in college.

As these train of thoughts travel pass your mind, the trembling hand by your side was now grabbed by Jungkook, as he waltzed you through the sweaty crowd and out of the thumping house that made your head spin. He pulls your speechless form outside, the cool and needed fresh air kissing your skin. His fingers are still laced with yours, gently tight and the feeling too foreign for your administration to the vulnerable mind. 

Jungkook looks at you with eyes that seem like concern and worry—something that was so unfamiliar to you and never encountered with before.

 With his thumb drawing circles over the back of your hand soothingly, that was the last straw.

“Y/N…Are you okay?” Jungkook begins.

And the third thing you feel, is confusion.

[9uk]

Let Me Stay Close To You : part 6

⌲ summary : you were finally free from the worst nightmare of your life in high school. the doors of college welcomed you with open arms, you were set on living your best life in here, away from the toxicity back at home. that shimmer of hope in restoring your life, was somehow effortlessly crushed by a tap on your shoulder. “Hey Y/N, why don’t you say we catch up for a moment?”

⌲ pairing : bully!jungkook x reader

⌲ word count : 5.6k

⌲ genre: angst

⌲ warnings : mentions of abuse, snakes

⌲ a/n : i’m so so sorry this is unedited and written at 4 am & i just wanna thank you guys for waiting and please give me all the feedback i need to improve so bad. idk sometimes i think my writing is little draggy but it is lacking lots of info as well, or maybe i don’t like to read long descriptions or something idk lol just tell me ur opinion.

part five >  part six  > epilogue

It is a feeling long gone but never forgotten.

It must be the most cruel joke of the year—Jeon Jungkook in the arms of Y/N.

He feels breathless, like the infinite darkness has consumed all the oxygen in his lungs, sucking every last bit of him out of his body like the blackhole. He hated it. He absolutely detested it.

The dark. It was something that reminded him of the times he hid in the corner of his bedroom, praying with bleeding lips —that he had bitten down onto so hard out of fear—and trembling hands, as he awaited the lashing he was going to receive. 

He started to think that it was happening on a daily basis now, how at any point in time at night he father would bust into the room with a cane, his dark figure looming by his door and Jungkook would shudder away as the tears involuntarily slip from his eyes.

 At 3 am, he would sit by his window and watch the moon with much resentment, silently as he sinks into the abyss of the night. 

The deep cuts and harsh bruises on his body was painful. But nothing could compare to the betrayal he felt when he sees his mother happily chatting over tea with a friend—all this while, when he was locked up in a random room—almost getting beaten to death with a thick rod away in the late hours of the night.

Jungkook doesn’t care if he gets caught loitering in the open hallway like that, he had nothing to lose and was ready to risk it all if he was granted just one look of his loving mother. 

He missed her a lot. 

The quiet times he spent in the suffocating room made him think about how much he took her love for granted.

 Was love supposed to be earned? 

He didn’t know that love—something he thought was the warm embrace of his birth giver, the extra marshmallows she would pop into his hot chocolate, the peonies she picked and tucked into his hair, the voice as smooth as silk aiding him into a deep slumber—would too, consist of a unimaginable amount of lies after lies, betrayal at its finest, and the revelation of the ugly side of it all. 

Her eyes fall onto his frail figure, one that has been tortured physically to a point of plain damage.

He was a hundred percent sure it was his mom—from the way she habitually blinks with her right eye a couple of times between normal blinks, from the way her fingers wrap around the entire teacup rather than the mini handle. Yet, instead of her eyes widening and growing with worry for her child being abused beyond the line of humanity—she furrows her brow, and her gaze turns into a glare, one he always faced when he picks on his vegetables, and she storms to him, grabbing him by the sleeve of his shirt, dragging him back to the room where he’d belonged.

She aggressively shoved at his shoulder, “You’d better dare not come out of here again. If father sees you, I don’t know what he will do to you. And I won’t be able to help you.” She wipes at her skirt, as if she had just laid her hands on a piece of garbage.

“Mommy!” He can’t help but cry out at her entire change in attitude towards him,

before her face contorts in disgust, slamming the wooden door in his face followed by a locking noise at the keyhole.

Jungkook refuses to believe what had just happened, so he screams as loud as he could, not caring about how piercing the shrills of his voice were—hoping that she would hear his expression of his misery through the seperation and feel at least a tinge of pity for him.

 He sucks in a deep breath, tears successfully rolling down his face a waterfall, and he screams even louder if that was possible—he wants her to have his yells of plea engraved in the back of her head, appearing every so often to haunt her in her sleep and taint her with guilt. He wants his mother to snap back to her old self, the one who would be carefully placing bandaids over the tears on his skin.

Unfortunately, her footsteps fades into the distance, and she returns to teatime with her acquaintance, shredding all of her last bit of conscience for her son.

A piece of garbage he was.

Freedom shined like a butterfly crawling out if its cocoon bathing in fresh sunlight for the very first time. 

Jungkook was released from his room like a convict when the grim news of the passing of his brother arrived to the household. He wasn’t even allowed to attend his biological brother’s funeral, like he was a bad omen or something of the sort.

During this period of time, he was frequently left alone in his room with his usual three meals and toys he grew bored of. The monster didn’t visit at night, for the grieving over his brother was too much to bear apparently. It gave him enough time for his injuries to heal, a skin forming over them barely covering anything except to provide protection against infections honestly.

However, after a several days pass the door unlocks and he trembles in pure terror. Was this his fate?

That there would be no end to the treatment his own family gave him, that he would have to spend all his birthdays along with his Ironman plushie as he sang himself to being an age older.

He prayed, for it was all he could do.

To his surprise, he never knew the bedroom door opening this time, was to a whole new world for him. Jungkook begin going to school, being able to eat meals at the main dining table, put his foot up on the couch if he wished, enjoy hot showers and roam freely—even out of the estate.

A unfamiliar yet eye-opening concept of life.

He wasn’t complaining.

His father remained cold as ice towards him and he couldn’t bother much about his mother, after seeing the way she left him to drown on his own in a pool of misery and despair. He was no longer desperate for parental love or attention, they ignored him but kept him in check when needed and he enjoyed life more than he could have ever imagined.

‘Study hard’ and ‘Take over the company’ were two phrases he heard a lot coming from both freaks and he just did as told, knowing how his grades would get him whatever he wanted now.

He didn’t even have to ask, and the poshest car or the latest limited edition pair of shoes would arrive at his doorstep. 

His life seemed almost perfect now, except that he still hasn’t learnt how to sleep with the lights off. 

And that is because he simply can’t. The absence of light would bring him back to those days where he tossed and turned with nightmares swirling in his mind, worries overtaking his pounding heart and his father showing up with a potential weapon in hand. 

He doesn’t see his father often, assuming he is coped up at the office with work and his mother still endlessly mourning over the loss of his brother, finger tracing over his smiling features in his middle school portrait. The boy was long gone but never erased from his mother’s heart.

 While he was at the brink of death and she did not even bat an eye.

 He was smart—he just had to be obedient and he would get whatever he wanted, no more bad treatments anymore—he was now treated like a king. Sometimes he thinks that he owes his life to his brother. 

It was like a sacrifice made to save him from his predicament.

A really, depressing and tragic sacrifice.

One that switched the initial plan of the Jeon Family and their business—one that his parents decided to use and groom Jungkook to become the heir.

One that made the girl stop visiting ever since.

One that changed the destinies of the two children who met at the company dinner.

Jungkook has never fallen asleep with the lights switched off before. 

That is, until he did exactly so in your bedroom.

 He is unable to comprehend how he actually managed to do just so, fall asleep peacefully in complete darkness. Nonetheless, he did wake up after a couple of hours breaking out in cold sweat with his arms clutched around your stiffening form. 

Jungkook hates how the feeling of holding and pulling you close to him is so comforting in an unexplainable manner, and how you felt nothing less than home. Jungkook is beginning to doubt why the hell he started these petty grudges with you—when you were a fibre away from the woman he used to love wholeheartedly. Keyword : used to. However, it was a tad too late for regrets.

 He was only left with two choices of compensation and reconciliation. They were undeniably difficult to carry out, especially having hurt someone to an extent that far it’s almost outrageous. He thinks what he has done in the past to you is absolutely unforgivable. 

Because if he was asked to do the same for his father’s mistakes, there would be only one option.

“You’re back early today. No dates or parties to attend tonight?” You cheekily tease as Sooyoung walks through the front door.

 A few moments later, she doesn’t reply as she settles her bag down onto the couch and toss the car keys onto the table.

 There was resentment written all over her face, she looked annoyed and in an extremely bad mood. You decided to keep quiet, considering that it isn’t the best time to speak when she felt this way over god knows what.

Sooyoung fumbles around some clothes, before she is heading for the door again, completely ignoring your existence.

  No, please just Jungkook ignoring me would suffice.

You couldn’t let this slide and worry about what you had done to offend her for the whole night.

Just as she slings her bag over her shoulders, you open your mouth again. 

“Sooyoung-ah, where are you going?”

She barely even looks over her shoulder to face you, before replying, “To meet Seulgi and Wendy.” 

She was brushing you off so casually.

 You felt like this more than the number of fingers on both hands could count, when people offered you help after Jungkook threw your pencil case in the bin or poured your lunch over your papers, you would think there would be a chance in making proper friends with them and escape this cruel torment. It wasn’t until you tried to sit with them in lunch and the whole group of students suddenly went quiet, the feeling uncomfortable to beyond. It’s like your presence made them stop discussing about anything, they awkwardly scratched the back of their necks before hurriedly placing the food trays back and scurrying off to class, leaving you alone at the table.

 It was silly of you to think that people have begun to accept you just because they offered you a piece of tissue paper.

That day, you looked at your food and watched the tear drops fall into the gravy.

And from then on, you never went down for lunch ever again.

You’re thinking about why you weren’t invited, especially when it was always the four of you, no more or less. You didn’t want to lose this precious bunch of friends, and you surely weren’t overthinking when you felt that they were leaving you out on purpose.

“Uh, I’m not invited?” 

The words came out way more obnoxious than you had intended, it had an aftertaste of bitterness and spite. You regret it immediately as you witness her face fall even more, into an irritated frown.

“You want to be invited after what you did at the party?”

Kiss Taehyung? Scold Jungkook? What was it?

“What... I did at the party?” You genuinely question, scanning every small action or word you had done or said back then.

“Oh c’mon. Let’s quit playing dumb. You clearly knew how much Seulgi liked Taehyung and you had the audacity to make out with him?”

Your lips parted in shock. Sooyoung was clearly the one who suggested to go over and converse with Taehyung, as well as the one who left you alone with him. 

Why was she being so pretentious about the whole situation?

Did she like him?

But you had to admit Seulgi totally slipped your mind when Taehyung wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and kissed you hard.

“I just-“ You try to explain yourself. Only to face a dead end. 

It was your fault, and all the fingers were pointed at you right now. You exhaled, “My mind wasn’t in a clear state when that happened, and I just went with the flow, I really did not mean to hurt Seulgi or anything-“

Wow, you sounded even more pretentious than Sooyoung.

“Do you know how upset Seulgi got, when Taehyung was filling her up with details of how you practically threw yourself at him like a whore?” ‘And disappointed’ She mumbled softly to herself, but it wasn’t missed by your ear.

 “I never knew behind this facade of obedience and innocence lied someone who was so sly and disloyal.”

Your friends felt betrayed. 

You had no words to retaliate or argue with what Sooyoung had just said—because you think it’s true, you see yourself as that kind of a person too.

 You ignored the fact that Sooyoung kept complimenting Taehyung right in your face, that nothing really happened between the both of you that night thanks to a certain someone, and that Taehyung deviously lied about you throwing yourself at him. It happened because of both parties’ consents and desires. 

And despite all these facts that they never went to consider before labelling you as a whore, the damage has been done. 

The true colours have been revealed.

She swipes her car keys off the countertop when you’re left speechless and guilty, heading out once more. 

You felt like crying, but for some reason you couldn’t.

It was something you should have expected from the very start.

Losing the people you hold close to your heart was something you were beginning to get so used to. This felt worse, because you chose to hurt them.

People would comfort you by saying that it is unintentional and that you didn’t have the need to feel bad or upset, but you’re starting to feel like a monster yourself. You are rather thankful for your first ever friends after so long to leave your side, because it’s what an asshole like you deserves. 

A new chance had already been granted to you, and yet just so easily and quickly—you screwed everything up. Maybe a person like you did not deserve to live a normal life. 

You were meant to be alone, you always have been and you always will. 

The loud slam of the wooden door is a finger snap to your face, and you realise why all those years you had shut yourself off from people—you don’t think you are able to handle the kind of pain that squeezes tightly at your heart and constricts your chest when they leave. 

If people come and go so easily, you had might as well not let them enter at all. You think it saves a few more heartbreaks and opportunities of getting hurt.

Your whole body is stinging with numbness as your mind is nothing but a blank, you walk over to the coffee table—one which you and Sooyoung had shared the local pastries over a season of Friends for one too many a times—and ur heart clenches at that. 

Sly and disloyal. 

You don’t think you are able to forget those words that callously shot like daggers at you—for it was done by someone you loved and cherished a lot since you offered to share that damn kettle.

Picking up your wallet, you flip it open only to be met with the genuine smiles—something that the both of you often shared when you were younger. 

The old photograph was taken in the middle of summer, when two carefree kids hung out at the beach with silly floats and fancy swimsuits, rainbow popsicles in their hands. The glaring sun light as seen in the picture reminded you of how your childhood was filled with nothing but fragrant flowers and fresh sunshine, that made one feel young, wild and free.

You never saw that sunlight again.

Instead, you choose to view the moon in the darkest shade of night now, admiring how celestial and full it looked—to replace the emptiness you felt in your heart. Junghyun is someone you would rarely forget, for the round shining whiteness in the sea of black was always there as a constant reminder of the boy who played a major part in your younger years.

“Look at the moon, if you ever feel sad. Then think about me,” Your best friend nudges your elbow with a playful quirk of his brow, he turns to look at your tear stained face with something close to adoration. “And always remember that no matter where I will be,”

“…I will always love you.”

You chuckle at how stupid you must sound, reciting something as small as a foolish promise between two kids to comfort yourself. You’re laughing and yet, the tears never seem to stop falling from your eyes. 

The memories of that fateful day was sewn into your mind—the two of you were kicking water in the shallow pool, only for you to carelessly drop the Tamagotchi you have in hand into the water. Junghyun immediately dives in forgetting about any form of hesitation, fishing out your sinking device like a lifeguard. ‘It’s okay’ he says, ‘I’ll get you something even better.’ When your pet is glitched out and doesn’t respond to your commands anymore, you began wailing like the little brat you are. After he wipes your tears causing an unbearably cute pout is formed on your tiny features, he said those words you’d never thought you would cling onto for life. That night, it was the first time he ever asked for something from his parents.

Both adults were initially confused by the sudden request, but compiled to it anyway without further questions. And when Junghyun woke up to a brand new Nintendo DS placed on his study desk, his face gleamed with satisfaction.

There’s a knot forming in your throat and your lungs are deprived of air as you attempt to cease the relentless sobbing. 

The illumination of the moon—for some reason—seems extraordinarily fluorescent tonight.

The anatomy project has long been finalised and submitted. The grades of it would even be released by the end of this week. It’s been over weeks since Jungkook and you have ever spoken a word to each other. Since the complicated yet warm hug had taken place between the both of you, you detached yourself from his body after your breath steadied and your mind clear of the drunken, built-up frustration—only muttering an excuse to hurriedly leave before he could say anything else to you. 

You left him standing there feeling more peculiar than ever. 

The hug, the party. You words slap him across the face once more as he recalls the exact thing you had said to him. 

You were never more right.

 He was this horrible, sick-minded and sadistic piece of trash—was he any better than the man who beat him to death on a daily basis?

Taehyung wasn’t the best for you, but he had no right to interrupt whatever was going on at that point in time between the both of you.

 Simply because he wasn’t any better. 

In fact, he feels like he’s much worse than his friend—who sticks his dick in every living thing—Jungkook is a dick himself.

At least Taehyung was nice without trying and he knew the correct things to say or do, even more so he knew how to control his emotions and temper. Maybe that’s how he gets all the girls hung up on him even after he uses them like rags of clothes.

Jungkook wasn’t good at any of that. 

Properly communicating and interacting with people just wasn’t his forté.

 If he’s angry, he lifts his hand. If he’s happy, he says things that cross the line. If he’s sad, he converts that to anger and resort to violence to shield that one bit of vulnerability from anyone, not wanting to seem weak at all. 

That is why his circle of friends is small, and he feels like he doesn’t even truly know and understand any of them. But you? Damn, you knew his temper like the back of your hand, you’ve seen him in his angriest form, you’ve witnessed fear overcome every cell of him and undergo a panic attack, you’ve watched him on the brink of tears as he ventured through another nightmare—and yet, he knew nothing about you.

You would forever remain as this mysterious and unpredictable person to him—and that, never failed to make him feel exasperated by the overpowering need to explore every millimetre of you, inside out. 

He was unable to identify your soft spots or pick on your weaknesses—you were typically unreactive to anything that he does. 

The time he spent in college with you was nothing but an emotional rollercoaster, an absolute train-wreck. 

In class, he wouldn’t even notice your presence for you snuck in five minutes late in a dark hoodie and black jeans, lurking in the corner of the lecture hall, before hastily leaving the second the lecturer ended the lesson.

He realises that you were becoming similar to the girl in high school, he notices that your group of friends at the cafeteria had one person missing and it was always you. He wonders if you have “left the squad” or aren’t on talking terms anymore. He wonders what had happened to cause the falling out between you and your friends. Or maybe you were just being yourself, avoiding contact with humans in general. Like a shadow, you loomed in the secret spaces, disappearing and reappearing as and when you wished.

It wasn’t until that day he roamed the streets around town, exploring the people and places a little with his giant camera. He felt like a tourist in a foreign country when he was actually studying and living on this land.

 For him, everywhere felt foreign, even the posh villa (and many other more estates) he owned didn’t even feel like home. Nothing was close to the feeling of his mother’s fingers intertwined with his own—aforementioned lady long gone and burnt to ashes in the back of his mind.

Home—a feeling he cannot grasp despite the fountains of cash and power coming his way, the throne at the very top of JEON entertainment hungrily waiting for him to take over—Jungkook only felt it again after what seemed like decades, in your fucking bed, hugging you to sleep. 

The thoughts of you are shaken away violently when he—whether by fate or luck— decides to enter a fast food restaurant wanting to grab some fries. Not only did he get the strips of potatoes he craved for, he also managed to spot you just behind the counter, eyes wide and brows raised. It was adorable to see how you acted like you didn’t notice him at all, clearing your throat and blindly meddling with the smoothie machine.

Jungkook simply snickers at your obvious reaction.

It was almost as if the sight of you effortlessly stuck a smile to his face.

The joint only had customers leaving one by one after dinner time, the queue to the cashier nonexistent and he made good use of that matter of fact.

He confidently strides up to you—acting like he didn’t recently get yelled at by you, then hugged you, and at the very same time get ditched by you—and you quickly whisper to one of your colleague’s ear, begging him to take Jungkook’s order for you. Judging by how you were speedily undoing your apron, he takes the hint and waits for a while before backtracking and joining you in the bathroom with a smirk plastered on his face.

He had you trapped and not even your shadow wouldn’t be able to escape this time.

“Hello.” He greets lowly with his palm of the wall and his legs crossed, taking up the whole doorway when you emerge from the cubicle.

“Oh my fuck-“ You jump and his heart does little somersaults.

“Long time no-“

“Is there something you need?” He is cut off short in the speed of light, your dumbass face looking unbothered to the point where it’s scary.

Your tone is dead and dull, lacking any sort of energy and emotion, but the prompt sounds snarky coming out of you.

Your gaze was in all directions other than in his, you seemed uninterested and distant.

He shrugs it away, before answering, “Yes actually. I will wait till you knock off.” 

You want to argue and tell him that it’s a bad idea, and that he was the last person you want to see—but he spins to leave leaving you no choice.

Jungkook emitted a stench that leaks of a strong sense of dread and burning infuriation inside of you. The whole restaurant smells of Jungkook and you want to shun away from his incessant staring at your working form.

 “Is that handsome dude your boyfriend?” Kihyun points to the culprit of your everlasting dread and the persistent sighs coming out of you with his chin and he pokes your side with a side of his lips curling upwards. 

You squeak and smack his hand away, “Is not.” 

He scoffs at the firm denying of yours and continues, since number of customers were at minimum and there was nothing much to do left with a quarter to closing.

“As if. Why the hell is waiting for you then?” You roll your eyes.

When he obtains silence, he proceeds to press at your buttons.

  “To hold hands and smooch on the way home together!” He purposefully sings aloud for Jungkook to hear and you kick his butt trying to shut him up.

It’s a pity Kihyun is a young father of twins and the most fun and easygoing manager you could ever have. To tell the truth, he’s part of the reason why you’d stay working at this shitty place. You’d think he would make a great bestfriend if not for his age and family responsibilities. His personality also sadly resembled your late bestfriend a lot—funny, selfless and wise.

It was the first time you couldn’t even bear to clock out, because that would mean it was time to deal with Jungkook.

He excitedly leapt up from his seat, making his way to your side as you hooked your bag over your shoulder. It had been a long day of school and work, and Jungkook was there to extend it even more. Your shoulders visibly slouch at the thought. 

Stepping out of the restaurant, Jungkook stood beside you with a takeaway in hand, looking like he’s been dying to ask you stuff. You didn’t feel like interacting with anybody though, just wanted to be on your bed as soon as possible after standing for what seemed like ages past the clock.

“Are you hungry?” He is looking at you with those big round eyes again, and you shift your gaze to the floor, afraid to meet his brown orbs.

What the fuck.

“I bought this for you.”

Your head shoot up, then flicked to the plastic bag he’s carrying with one hand.

No fucking way. Wasn’t that his supper or something?

“W-What.. you didn’t have to-“ He throws the bag of burger and fries into your hands without blinking and you struggle to catch it.

“It’s actually okay.” You couldn’t accept his kind gesture or some reverse psychology effect he was trying to make you feel. 

The grumble in your stomach comes on cue, roaring louder than thunder.

You nervously laugh before helplessly stealing a fry from the bag, contradicting your earlier sentence.

“Great. Now you’ve accepted my offer, you have to answer three of my questions.” He shoots you a winning grin. You were already shoving the fifth fry into your mouth, munching away without any care in the world.

Fuck it, three questions it is. The fries tasted too damn good for you to give it back or run away from the golden crispy and fluffy treat.

Jungkook bites on his lips and contemplates for quite a while. Like the question was a hard one to raise. You tap at your feet in a bit of anticipation. Just a bit.

“Why does it seem like you’re avoiding me?” He finally gets it out.

It wasn’t just him, you had practically cut off all contact with any ape that was intelligent enough to speak and alienated yourself from this world. You wouldn’t even greet the birds in the morning like you always do, you just suffocated in the haze of self-pity and hatred.

“I’m just busy working.” You kept your words to minimal, not wanting Jungkook prying into your personal thoughts and feelings about yourself.

Lame excuse, that’s what Jungkook thinks of your short answer. But he is popping out his second question mark. 

“Hmm, seems fair.” He fakes and cocks a brow up. 

“Then what happened to you and Sooyoung or something,” 

The fact that he remembers your friend’s name almost lets a chortle slip from your lips. Your expression remains stoic—you were a professional at concealing the display of your real emotions—and even though you’re pretty upset at how the topic of the friends you once had was raised after so long, you reply from the bottom of your heart, “I don’t want to be associated with anyone right now.” 

It was the truth, and it wouldn’t hurt Sooyoung or you in any way.

He hums in understanding before, “Then... are you alright?”

You want to cry.

 Why does Jungkook, number one asshat and jerk towards you your whole life, have to act so sweet and caring when you’re at your lowest? It makes your heart want to give in and succumb to him completely. You had rather die.

The affection and concern Jeon Jungkook is showing you is too much for you to handle, and you don’t know what to make that of. 

Why does he even fucking care if you were okay or not?

You instantly turn on your heel—a copy of your actions back then when you first met Jungkook again—ready to escape the conversation and rush home—like you should have done ever since he stepped foot into your workplace. Jungkook has been recently making you feel things and all sorts of things—from the first time you bumped into him at a party, or when he laid over you and fell asleep like a baby, and embracing you after he made you cry— the last thing you want is to even feel anything.

It doesn’t take longer than a second before Jungkook is stomping towards your leaving form. He wasn’t going to be left hanging off a cliff by you, twice.

Being asked about your wellbeing was like mishandling an unpinned grenade, causing a spark in a room filled with methane and running through a minefield.

A wrong move and instead of exploding, you would vanish into thin air in a snap.

“What the fuck is up with you?” Jungkook grabs your arm in time to halt you and narrows his eyes sternly at you.

“One moment you’re cuddling with me, and then you’re scolding me, and another you’re hugging me back, and now you’re trying to run away from me.” The confrontation sounds like something that would happen within a couple and an inevitable blush grows on his cheeks as he tries to stay as fierce as ever. 

You look surprised upon his rant, but there was no response.

You were at a loss of words until, “If you can answer this, then I won’t distance myself anymore.”

You’ve had enough, and closure is what you both needed most.

“What are we? We’re not friends, nor are we acting like enemies, and we’re not together either.”

You put the truth out in the open like a glass ball handled with butter fingers , exposed and fragile to touch.

“Maybe this is what it feels like when you go against, to try and change something that’s meant to be, what we’re meant to be forever–” His features softened and his grip loosens as the realisation dawns upon the two of you, allowing your hand to fall by your side. 

You huff in a deep breath, sparing a brief moment to collect every thought and reach your conclusion.

 “Bully and victim.”

[9uk]

Let Me Stay Close To You part: 4

⌲ summary : you were finally free from the worst nightmare of your life in high school. the doors of college welcomed you with open arms, you were set on living your best life in here, away from the toxicity back at home. that shimmer of hope in restoring your life, was somehow effortlessly crushed by a tap on your shoulder. “Hey Y/N, why don’t you say we catch up for a moment?”

⌲ pairing : bully!jungkook x reader

⌲ word count : 5.2k

⌲ genre: a cup of weird fluff, a tablespoon of bitter angst

⌲ warnings : mentions of abuse, wrestling in bed & almost dying (strange combination, i know.)

⌲ a/n : hoho sorry for being late, and boring as well, for always ending with a cliffhanging dialogue, but hey. it’s merely a type of means to keep you guys sticking around ;> all in all, enjoy while i prepare for the amount of hate coming into my inbox for this. and hv a feeling many of you will drop this series after this chapter ;;;

part three >  part four  > part five

The hallways of this mansion seemed to never end.

Running as fast as your legs could take you, your heavy boots stomping hardly on the red carpet and wooden flooring with every step in your sprint. As you feel the exhaustion take over your legs, breath beginning to quicken, your eyes lay on the second room on the right of this hallway you have turned into. You’re not too sure if you have been in this one before, because this hallway seemed to be a little less well-lit, that you sharply took note of amidst your frantic dashing. They all looked the same anyways—his mansion was an enormous labyrinth. You can hear the distant sound of his footsteps, hunting your running form down, causing the thudding sound of your frightened heart to streamline its way to your ears, interrupting your hearing with heavy thumps like a staccato of a hummingbird’s wings. You have to hide now. Your run casually slows to a small jog as you twist the doorknob of the second room on your right, opening it and slamming it shut behind you. You closed your eyes and steadied your breaths, before making your way to find a suitable place in this rather large bedroom to conceal yourself from him.

This room was strange. It was dark. You noticed it was particularly different from all the other rooms as you walked further in, looking at the features of within its four walls under the faint moonlight that shone through the thin curtains. This one had Ironman theme bedsheets, toy cars scattered across the floor, and a game console on the table. It was like someone, was occupying and living in this room. And this definitely wasn’t his room.

Your initial fear of being found had been replaced instantly as you reverse your steps backwards, eyes witnessing even more evidence that this room indeed, belonged to somebody else. Someone you have never known of, despite your frequent visits in this house. As the darkness of the whole room engulfs you, and the slight movement of the rocking chair at the corner as the breeze from outside blew into the creepy room, you almost felt like screaming. Tears almost spilling out with trepidation, you swiftly turned to escape from this scary room.

“You’re leaving…?” A hand tugs at your wrist and you stood rooted to the ground, horrified. The fingers encased tightly around your wrist were icy and filled with desperation.

You were too caught up with observing the furnitures of the room, that you failed to notice and realise the boy quietly and stationarily located at the side of the bed, who has now stood up to stop you from leaving.

Intimidated, you carefully turn on your heel to face him. The boy stood around your height, his black fringe hung loosely on his forehead, the ends of it hiding his dark eyes. He looked rather pale with his chapped lips and skinny frame, cuts and bruises littered across his forearms and legs. You had never seen him around in this house before, not that you’ve encountered before. He almost looked like a ghost, but you knew he wasn’t. He was real and he was badly hurt, in need of help. Was he trapped here or something?

“D-Don’t leave..me,” He starts begging, “please.” His cheeks was now glistened with streaks of tears as he tugs on your arm with even more strength.

Here you were, in anatomy again, this time without anyone sitting beside you and basking in the comfort of having this whole space at the back to yourself. One thing you liked about situating at the back of this hall, was that it was a few shades darker than the rows in the front. Though it wasn’t completely pitch-black like you wished, the lack of lighting was more than enough to appease your nocturnal self and accompanied by the bright light of your laptop screen—a perfect environment to concentrate on the lesson beforehand.

Until the lecturer walked into class, followed by Jungkook, who still has his airpods stuffed in his ears. He didn’t give a damn—not now, and never before. His presence ignited a few giggles and teasing between a few girls at the front and you weren’t even one bit surprised.

You were thrown back to last Monday when he sent you home, saying he’ll see you around—you mean of course, the both of you were definitely going to see each other around, not until this whole tedious project on the structure of the human body was completed. He eyes the empty seat beside you and scurries to your side, only to come face to face with your pink stubborn bag taking up his place.

Jungkook is so tempted to grab your stupid backpack and fling it down the steps, to then plummet down on the seat with ease—but he knows he shouldn’t, he wouldn’t, and he couldn’t treat you in that manner anymore.

You weren’t letting up either, placing your undivided attention on the screen of slides in the front of the lecture hall. Disregarding his existence entirely. 

Was he supposed to ask you to move your bag?

“Uh, I want to sit here.” He realised that that, wasn’t asking. It came out more like a demand.

He could easily spare the effort and sit somewhere else, somewhere with those girls at the front who’d loved to have him there—but Jungkook actually tried asking if he could sit there, and if you would move your bag for him.

You almost let a laugh slip out as the words come out of his mouth. Jeon Jungkook actually seeking your permission. Moving your bag to your lap, he smiles and occupies the seat, muttering a barely audible ‘Thank you’ and you shake your head in utter disbelief. This was too much to bear. He was being suspiciously too nice for your liking. But it was a great change and you weren’t complaining. It turns out that you too, had many questions for him. You don’t even recognise him now.

The class passes by smoothly, without Jungkook laying a finger on you or speaking a word.

Instead, you could sense the way he shook his legs abnormally faster, the way his fingers were clasping onto the pen like a vice grip, and the occasional hard clenching of his jaw.

He looked like he was struggling with some kind of inner conflict, wanting to so badly untangle the dead knots of ambivalence towards something. You choose to close one eye to what you noticed about him, reminding yourself to 1. Stop staring at Jungkook like that. and 2. Get Jungkook out your mind and life. You don’t think you are emotionally stable enough to handle another catastrophe rolling into your life like a giant boulder down a steep slope.

The screen of your phone lights up and you pick it up, reading the incoming texts from Sooyoung.

[10:39] Sooyoungie : will be staying over at sungjae’s today

[10:40] Sooyoungie : feel free to bring that kook guy home!!!

[10:40] Sooyoungie : o and rmb to stay safe & use a condom ;)

Your eyes grew wide at her wild insinuation, mouth opening wide before turning into a soft giggle at her messages. As if he was interested in why you had a silly grin plastered onto your face, you can feel Jungkook leaning his head closer to you as you’re typing, trying to peer at your conversation with your friend. What was he being so intrusive for? You quickly type out a reply, before clearing your throat—causing him to return to his initial form casually, spinning his pen like he didn’t just try to look at your phone.

“Who were you texting?” He questions with an unimpressed tone.

You turn to look at him, confused for a second. You almost wanted to throw an ‘Is that any of your business’ to his damn cocky face but for peace’s sake, “My friend.”

Jungkook genuinely feels this burning desire to know the gender and name of your friend, but he chooses to not pursue anything so that he doesn’t seem like he was more than necessarily interested in who you were talking to. Or in your life, generally.

It was until everyone started packing their belongings to head for the exit of the hall, that Jungkook’s hand flies at the speed of light to grip your wrist as you turn to leave. Your arm jerks slightly, turning to face him with wide eyes of shock.

“Can we talk?” Jungkook looks at you with pleading eyes, somewhat afraid of your possible objection. You are hyperaware of the touch of his fingers grazing against your skin, feeling a shimmer of light flashing through your heart as the electricity of the skin contact flows through your veins. Looking at his fingers encased around the small of your wrist, you blink, stiff arm relaxing in his grasp and pulses settling in aftershock. When you give your silence as consent, he quickly suggests and releases his hold.

“Let’s go outside, there might be a class coming in.”

“No, there aren’t any classes conducted here until 4,” You hurriedly provide him with a reason to stay. You didn’t wish to be seen with Jungkook outside—especially by your friends or anyone else—because the last thing you wanted was for the obsessive girls to throw bitter looks at you, or his friends to check out the girl he was talking to—for the bad light to be shined on you. Hard pill to swallow, but you were still the old you who cared a lot about what people thought of you, just that you don’t express how bothered you are from it well.

Where was Namjoon? He rarely skips lectures.

Jungkook doesn’t open his mouth, eyes shifting everywhere but your own, with arms crossed tightly like he was protecting himself from something—to actually show how uncomfortable he was feeling. The lights in the lecture hall slowly dims to a low light due to the lack of motion in its sensor, but you could still make out the outlines of everything around you—and the Jungkook right in front of you was now looking to the ground, shaking. His breathing starts becoming ragged, and his chest begins heaving up and down rapidly like he was short of oxygen and you instinctively reach out to him.

“Jungkook, are you okay?” You gently place your hands on his shoulders, which were tensed to the brim. He explodes all of a sudden, slapping your hand away so harshly that he stumbles a few steps backwards, causing you to involuntarily squeak in surprise. His brows are knitted to the center, eyes burning with rage and jaw screwed tight. 

“I fucking said to go outside!” He yells through gritted teeth, voice rough and boiling in infuriation.

He doesn’t do anything to you, despite the privacy given to the both of you in this empty room—he only busts out of there, leaving you to follow behind like a helpless duckling.

Jungkook has his hands on his hips, the same gaze trained onto the concrete ground, but this time he is slowing his erratic breathing, focusing on calming himself down. Your mind is a blank, as you backpedal to what you had said earlier on to him, searching for anything offensive or rebelling—ah, right. You didn’t comply to his request of having the chat outside. Half of you thinks that you did nothing wrong, that insisting on staying in there was perfectly reasonable, but the other half is telling you that he was being polite enough already, and you were being a stubborn bitch intentionally poking at his buttons you knew best you shouldn’t even touch.

He cools down at last, turning around to face you—who is currently toying with your own fingers in nervousness.

“Are you free right now?” Jungkook steps closer to you once he is out of his fit.

You stumble on your words at the change in his demeanour. “U-Uh, I’m-I’m free.. erm, until-wait I mean the whole day I have nothing-“

“Then great,” Jungkook already heard what he needs to know, “let’s go to your dorm to do this project.” You open your mouth to retort, “But-“ But your words are sucked back in when you remember how he shouted at you back in there. Jungkook challenges you with a lift of his brow, anticipating the excuse that wasn’t going to work on him. “-okay.” You let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding.

The journey to your place is quiet and the tension in the air is thick. You did not want to say anything stupid to rile Jungkook up—for the second time of the day—Well, you never did in the past (except for once, and it did not end up well as clearly stated on your forehead) so you should remain as it is in the present. You shove your earpiece in, drowning yourself in soothing melodies away from this eventful day, preparing for more that was bound to happen later on. It was no doubt that Jeon Jungkook never failed to make your life as interesting as ever. You were tailing behind Jungkook, and he looks back to you to make sure you were tagging along. He shoots you an unreadable expression at you harmlessly listening to music, before facing front again. What.

Reaching the lift lobby, a word hasn’t left his lips yet. You never knew he could actually keep this quiet. If only he put that skill to good use back in high school. Yet.

“Tell me there isn’t anyone in your dorm.” He says, as if he was planning to do something to you. In your own fucking dorm.

“There isn’t anyone in my dorm,” You submit to his request this time.

He nods in approval and the lift doors open.

You are startled when the platform of the lift slightly sinks as you step foot into it, weight pushing it down. It further descends when Jungkook enters, but is able to barely support the both of your weights, starting to rise as you press the button of your floor.

This was strange, the lift had never acted this way before.

And just when the unsettling doubt is pushed to the back of your mind, it fully pops out again—

“What the fuck!”

“AHHHHH!”

You can hear something akin to a metal clanking and a harsh snap of a wire, legs weak from how fast this small box you and Jungkook were confined in had just speedily went down. The elevator abruptly jerks to a stop, sending the both of you crashing onto the ground. The lights and ventilation dies out. You assumed the two of you were currently dangling on the edge of death —because once this thing falls to the very bottom, the both of you were fucked. As well as your corpses.

But it grows to be the least of your worries when you see Jungkook at the opposite corner, crouching his smallest and hands covering his ears in fear. Maybe it was because you had always wanted to die the second you knew how to communicate with the world, but you weren’t as afraid as he was at the moment. Maybe pampered kids never encountered incidents like these before with their luxurious high-end elevators.

Nonetheless you carefully creep to his side, making sure to not cause a sudden tilt shift in the lift.

The darkness may have engulfed the entirety of the lift capsule, but you can tell how white Jungkook’s face has gotten. He is trembling harder than the cranky washing machine you used to own, the ends of his dark fringe damp with cold sweat and he is softly crying out murmurs of pleas. For as long as you known him, Jungkook never shows his weak side to anyone. Everybody saw him as a buff and dashing successful athlete, rich, powerful and perfect. And here you were, witnessing him curled up in the corner of a lift, on the brink of tears.

You are taken aback by the entire situation, too many things were happening at once for you to handle. You could feel your heartbeat practically punching at your ears as anxiousness got the better of you. Panicking, you try your best to get the first thing done, and that is to comfort Jungkook out of his traumatised state. Normally you would ring the alarm, but you’re afraid it would send his trepidation spiralling.

“Jungkook..” You attempt to call out his name in the most delicate manner, scared of his outburst. 

He was like a ticking bomb, waiting to go off any time and you don’t even dare touch a fibre of it.

He doesn’t respond, only shaking his head and letting out pained whimpers.

Tears are rapidly forming in your eyes and you forcefully suck them back in.

Now’s definitely not the time to have a freaking breakdown, Y/N!

You needed to get a proper hold of these distressing emotions.

“Jungkook, I’m here.” You had honestly no idea why you said that to him in efforts to comfort him— you were always the cause of his uncontrolled fiery temper, and you’re not too sure if your presence will bring him comfort in any way possible. 

“Out..” You could hear how badly he was quivering from his shaky voice, soft and weak. You have never seen him this afraid before—and part of your heart aches for him.

Without him having said another word, you find his hand and lightly holds it with assurance. His palms were covered in a sheen of cold sweat, and you thought it was drained of all energy from how limp it felt. It was probably too stuffy for him in here. Did he suffer from claustrophobia? Your questions could wait, because your main priority at hand was to get this guy to stop trembling.

But all you could do when he is frightened stiff and feels alone, was to make your presence known. That somebody was here for him.

You reach for his elbows, in attempt to soothe him with physical contact—only for him to shrug your hand away with full strength, like you’ve touched an open wound. “Please..!” He cries out, “N-No more.. I beg of you!”

Jungkook is now sobbing, in his fullest vulnerability—like he has given up on fighting the demons in his head, succumbing to every one of them. He was paralysed with fear, never leaving the solace of that corner.

You resort to none other than the last plan, hand slamming hard on the red button of the panel.

He jumps in surprise at the blaring sound, and groans loudly in annoyance. You rush to his side again, the lift teetering on the edge of splitting from the measly grasps of the wires.

He was having spasms now, mind oversensitive and body overly reactive to the blasting shrills of the alarm. There was no point trying to talk him out of this seizure, so you spat a ‘fuck it’ under your breath, and to your better senses—you boldly wrapped your arms around the crying boy. He struggled in your hold, trying to wriggle his way out of your persistent arm cage, but only to fail as you bring him closer to your chest and caressed the back of his head with a rhythmic pace for him to focus on and calm down. You hugged his quaking form securely, hoping it feeds him with some sort of reassurance, till he quits shivering in fear. You can feel Jungkook leaning into your embrace, his hand coming out to hold you by the waist like a baby koala.

“It’s okay. Everything’s alright.” You assure him as you stare at the opening of the lift with worry.

Jungkook was still chasing his own breath, eyes shut tight as he tries to relax in your arms and absorbs the warmth you radiated to save his icicle-stabbed heart. Your body smelt like the familiar wild berries and white violets—a scent he recognises and is quite accustomed to—which guides him back to reality as he inhales more of you. It was there to tell him that he no longer lived in the terrifying past, and he is currently free of all the torture back then.

His eyes fly open. The only thing he sees is your arms circled around him, the softness of your breasts cushioning his lower cheek and the curve of your waist on his hands. Strangely, Jungkook wants to stay in this comfortable position for a while longer. It felt nice to be hugged like that, with a hand stroking his disheveled hair with utmost care. Noises and muffled shouts can be heard from the outside of the stuck doors, and Jungkook slowly, reluctantly abandon the comfort of your arms.

He feels humiliation seeping in when he immediately misses your cradling like a baby, but he opts to observe the look on your face. You were exhausted from doing so much all at once—from trying to pacify his wailing ass, to managing your own composure to finally successfully seek help from being near the margin of death.

When the both of you were safely rescued out, finally seeing light, your mind goes off to wonder about the way Jungkook acted back in there. He looked like something was in control of him, beating his incapacitated self to pulp. Wiping the beads of perspiration off your forehead, you walk over to his worn out form, sitting by the stairs of the lobby.

“Are you feeling better?” You sit beside him, hands rubbing the ball of your knees.

Everyone had fears. Even the tough-looking Jungkook did, and he was completely overthrown by the traumatising accident. Sadly, he was one of your fears.

Thus it felt extremely conventional to see the powerless side of him. And to be fair, Jungkook had been treating you like an ordinary person but not some garbage bag by the dumpster. To that, you can’t help but feel a pinch of gratitude swelling in the pit of your stomach—at how maybe Jungkook, wouldn’t mess up your life again.

Although you’re still uneasy at how he switches back to a monster at times, said monster is now going through a rough time and it intensifies your soft-heartedness for him.

He grazes his thumb over the other, tongue pushing at the insides of his cheek.

“Yeah, I’m good now. Let’s..” He stands up, eyes flicking between the lift and the stairs, “..take the stairs up to your room.” If Jungkook says he’s good, means he’s good. You don’t question any further, hopping onto the tortuous climb with him.

The incident is never brought up again, and you sure as hell dare not bring up something that upsetting for Jungkook. The both of you carried on with the project at hand like usual, a few discussions here and there, just that his voice sounded like it was drained of all energy and emotions. His hair is slightly tousled, cheeks still mildly stained with the tears of perturbation. And when the work was finished, it was time to either have a real talk or act like nothing happened.

Jungkook scratches the back of his head. “Can I stay for the night?”

Could you say no? Honestly, you feel yourself being sucked into this pool of poison, slowly eating up at your organs and killing you from the inside. Jungkook, in one way or another, was still tormenting you into allowing him to do whatever the fuck he wants.

“Urm, okay.” You think to yourself that this will be the first and last time you’re listening to him—you would care less if he threw a tantrum at your rebellion—and for the sake of him looking so sad and pitiful. Besides, you perfectly empathised with him not wanting to be alone after that incident. It is only normal to seek the company of another soul in your darkest moments.

“You’re taking the floor. My roommate doesn’t fancy anyone touching her bed.” His lips part, almost wanting to argue with that, but beggars can’t be choosers. He had rather slept on the floor with you around then to suffocate in the emptiness of his cold room.

You toss him a spare towel and some oversized clothes you owned, like a host showing great hospitality to her (unwanted) guest. He stares at you with confusion blanketing his features. Jungkook has really lost his mind after being trapped in the lift for fifteen minutes.

“You don’t need to wash up?” Like a small kid, he scurries to the bathroom.

It still felt too revolutionary for you. You still find yourself feeling perplexed whenever you are near Jungkook—mind reeling back to the past, where he was still that guy who pulled childish stunts on you and hurt you. The scar on your temple—a constant reminder of how he dragged your self-esteem down and obstructively blocked your road to something as simple as, happiness.

He was the guy who denied you of all the blessings in the world, the guy who caused you to lose the ability to find the love in yourself or anything. He was also the guy sleeping on your floor right now. You shake off these thoughts and faced the other side of the bed. The whole room reeked of him and you stuffed your nose in pillows.

The night falls and the whole campus quietens down, nothing but buzzing street lamps and silence taking over your bedroom.

Until,

“I really can’t sleep on your bed huh?”

“Not really.”

You feel the mattress sink on the empty space behind you and you sit up instantly, seeing a Jungkook propping his folded arms on your bed, looking at you with the big deceiving round eyes which you hated so much. It was such a strong deception and a poor representation of his true personality.

“You didn’t actually say no.” He nibbles on his bottom lip in anticipation and bubbling excitement, ready to prance onto your comfortable, bouncy bed at any second.

Oh my god.

“I didn’t mean-“

And then he’s climbing onto your sheets, making himself comfortable in your quilt covers. It was your turn to lose your mind. No way in hell were you going to share a bed with this creature.

“Get off my bed you freak!” You’re backed against the window grills as you wildly kick him in a cycle.

“Ow-ouch! Wait, you’re hurting me!” He manages to catch and grab onto one of your ankles, tugging harshly at it, causing you to shriek in surprise as you get dragged across your bed.

So much for helping him back there?

In a swift, he picks your body up and dunks you onto the mattress hard, locking you tightly in place with veiny hands gripping on your shoulders. Your legs start wrestling again, attempting to kick him in the balls and send him tumbling off your safe haven—but his quick reflexes has his leg pinning your limbs down unforgivingly. You’re too tired to fight a battle you know you would surely lose—to a Hercules-like body of Jungkook—so you let go of all willpower and strength to escape his clutches.

Huffing, you closed your eyes and painfully accept the fact that you were going to sleep with Jungkook beside you. Truthfully, you preferred the distance he gave you back in high school.

Now he’s hovering over you, panting from the effort to keep you still, looking at you sprawled out defeated beneath him. “Do whatever you want Jungkook, goodnight.”

You’ve accepted your fate. In fact, you’ve already did a long time back.

So just like that, you gave Jungkook the permission to do as he wished, to which he slowly lowered himself on the bed, on the top of your body he rests and buries his face into the crook of your neck. When you feel his hard chest and puckered abdomen against your body, you realised how Jungkook had incinerated every bit of lucid logic in your mind. Concluded from how you’ll let it slide this time, allow him to be this close to you and fall asleep. And you wonder just how many times, you will keep submitting, submitting and submitting to him. How many ‘last times’s’ will it take for you to bulk up the courage to go against his wishes. And when exactly, will Jungkook stop having you at the very tip of his fingers.

You subconsciously follow the rhythm of his breathing, the overdue fatigue finding its way to your heavy lids, effectively fluttering them shut.

Placing your hand over his, you shudder at the feeling of his freezing skin.

“I won’t leave you..”

The boy begins sobbing even harder as his right arm flinches.

“Why are you crying? Does it hurt?”

You carefully inspect the wounds inflicted all over his body and winced when you twist his arm gently, seeing a fresh open cut on the side of his elbow. There was blood dripping out of the sliced flesh, and the surrounding was badly swollen and bruised violet.

“I need to go get help for you!” You weren’t a doctor, and you really needed to cling onto your mom at the sight of all this gore.

Shaking his head vigorously, he is fixed on not letting you leave his side. Why didn’t he want to escape? 

“They’ll hit me.” His voice is cracked and shaky, like he has been crying for hours.

It was because he couldn’t, and you felt so, so sorry for him. Being trapped in this room, suffering and dying. Your thoughts arrow towards the owner of this house, you start suspecting them of being kidnappers who held this poor boy around your age as hostage. How could they do that, when they were endearingly offering you cookies and milk every time you stayed over?

You start doubting everything around you.  

“Who are you?”

The final question and the main point of this whole conversation comes out.

 What in the world was a fatally injured boy doing in a random room of your bestfriend’s house? And why didn’t your bestfriend come to his rescue like you thought he would?

“I’m Junghyun’s brother, Jeon Jungkook.”

The moon today shines exceptionally bright, transcending all stars. The soft glow of the moonlight filters through your thin curtains, a replacement for the nightlight you lacked, bringing the both of you serenity. 

Like someone was watching over the both of you.

 The room now was filled with luster and tranquil, it almost lulls you back to sleep. Shoving Jungkook off your body, you can feel a layer of sweat sticking your shirt to your skin, and you flip over to the side, letting the cool air dry your skin. He sleepily connects his body to yours in no less than a second, pressing against the damp skin of your back and you cringed away. Jungkook is now spooning you from behind, arms wrapping tightly around your waist with his nose nuzzling at your hair.

You prayed that someone would save you from this torment.

He’s murmuring incoherent noises softly into your nape now. One, which you were able to make out.

“Don’t leave me…”

[9uk]

Let Me Stay Close To You : epilogue

⌲ summary : you were finally free from the worst nightmare of your life in high school. the doors of college welcomed you with open arms, you were set on living your best life in here, away from the toxicity back at home. that shimmer of hope in restoring your life, was somehow effortlessly crushed by a tap on your shoulder. “Hey Y/N, why don’t you say we catch up for a moment?”

⌲ pairing : bully!jungkook x reader

⌲ word count : 3k

⌲ genre : angst , fluff if you squint

⌲ warnings :  mentions of death , suicide , abuse

⌲ a/n : pardon me for I have a lot to say. I feel damn sad that this is really THE END of this series. feels only like yesterday that i decided to work on this baby. i’m sorry if there are any loopholes, i just sort of want to leave it to you guys to decide what had/is going to happen. as always, feedback is seriously more than welcomed! and I just wanted to say for all of you lonely souls out there, victims of bullying, people who are more insecure than they should be feeling, I LOVE YOU! I’m here for you, I’ve met so many people throughout a simple series and I’m always a listening ear for y’all! Don’t give up, press on <3 The road to self-love is a rough yet beautiful one! A big thank you for all my readers’ endless support and words of encouragement, as cliché as it sounds, I would never have made it to the end w/o you guys, no joke. I hope y’all stay with me! ^-^

**there are some references from forever rain by our wonderful leader Namjoon included in this writing.

part six  >  epilogue.

The rain drops falling on the surface of your umbrella only grows heavier with time.

The pattering is a constant rhythm that keeps you drowning in the bittersweet memories of the man lying before you, under you. Lowering the black parasol you have in hand, you shield your face from the series of footsteps approaching from afar. The sky is crying with you, and that puts your heart an inch closer to complete calamity. Your black leather gloves scrunch as you tighten your grip on the handle, your hand visibly shaking in unadulterated rage. Teeth clenched, you slow down your breaths and allow the last tear drop of longing to roll down your pale skin.

 The ends of your long coal dress is drenched with rain water and spluttered with mud, but that’s okay. 

Your boots are sinking into the soaked soil and you feel the wetness creeping into the sole of your feet, but that’s okay as well. 

The stalk of lily you had gently placed on his tomb is being slapped by the violent pouring of the dark grey clouds who mourn with you, but that’s okay too.

 Whether you dig six feet under this polluted ground, no matter how carefully you place the flowers you bring him every year, he would never come back into your life—and that’s not okay. That’s not okay at all, because the best friend you had loved so deeply had taken his own life to end his suffering.

The group of people walking your way is closing the distance and without another glance, you flee from the scene.

Stretching, you make your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth. It was the morning you had no clue was going to turn your life upside down. The glorious sun rays peeking through your curtains and the sweet singing of the birds flying outside your window grill couldn’t even save you from the catastrophe headed your way.

“Sweetie, there’s a letter for you!” The jingling of the car keys travel from downstairs and you quickly finish freshening up.

“Who is it from?” You ask, hand smoothening down the railing of the staircase as your tiny feet tap their way down the steps.

“It’s from Junghyun, sweetheart.”

Your eyes widen in surprise, before you scurry to your mother’s side and snatch the envelope from her hands.

The six-year old you understood the meaning of privacy, so you’re bolting back to your bedroom with a letter sent from your best friend in hand. And all excitement and anticipation was erased and instantly replaced by worry and fear when the first words you read are ‘I’m sorry’.

Your brows furrow harder and harder as you took in every line written on the piece of dreaded paper.

“So you’re saying that I should wait for her to knock off work to express my sincerity?”

Taehyung nods enthusiastically. “Look, I’m sorry for touching your girl the other day so trust me, this is the best advice I can give you,” Jungkook rubs his temple in frustration. “Doing that will definitely win her heart.” He looks away from his phone just long enough to send a wink.

“I-I’m not trying to get her or anything dude,” Jungkook plays with his fingers and his voice softens, “I just want her forgiveness, that’s all.”

And that is how you notice a certain man by the name of Jeon Jungkook strolling into the diner at 8 on a Sunday morning, orders a banana milkshake and occupies the small booth at the corner for a straight ten hours. He does nothing but play mobile games or doze off occasionally—or attempts to read a book he doesn’t even know the name of—but you will leave that out because he fails terribly every time. You thought you had made it as clear as day that the both of you were nothing more than a bully and victim, so why was he wasting his time here, sitting in the corner of Pop’s waiting for you? Unless…

The lengthy shift ends in the blink of an eye somehow, you don’t think it’s because of Jungkook’s presence and the lingering stares you receive from him—nonetheless you are gleefully waving Kihyun goodbye as you dump your apron into the staff cabinet. You don’t miss the way he shouts after you while wiping a plate dry in hand, “Have fun with your date! He’s a keeper.”

With a roll of your eyes that you know he can see despite not having to turn around, you walk through the backdoor and fish out your worn-out yet loyal pair of earpiece. You’re hoping that leaving from the behind would catch Jungkook off-guard, and that he wouldn’t be able to confront you or you wouldn’t have to bump into him. You couldn’t be more incorrect.

“Running away from me again, huh?” The cracks of the little stones in the gravelly ground beneath the sole of his Timberlands shoot through your ears in an unpleasant manner.

You dare not turn around to fully face him, too exhausted to deal with a person who held so much complications in your life at the moment. Moments later way too soon, he has stepped in front of you, leaving you with not many options.

“Y/N-” He reaches out to hold your hand, but you immediately flinch away as if it was a natural reflex whenever you were around him.

“Don’t touch me, Jungkook.”

His expression falls, along with the outstretched hand and he tucks it away in the pocket of his grey sweatpants.

“Listen I’m,” He runs his fingers through his brown hair and groans in annoyance directed at himself. “I’m..I’m just very sorry, okay?” His eyes are closed now, focusing on putting out the words that come from the bottom of his heart. “I really want the both of us to be something more than just a bully and victim,” Jungkook seemed unsatisfied with the status of the both of you. The walls you painstakingly build around yourself from the world is slowly but surely crashing down to the ground as he kept speaking about the possibility of redemption and forgiveness on your side.

“Can we be friends? I don’t know I just-”

He’s stumbling on his words now. Jungkook feels this inseparable connection with you, since your hearts connected when he hugged you to sleep, since you walk past him on the third day of college, he could literally recognise you anywhere and everywhere, the only face he would notice in a crowd, the only person he felt a sense of belonging to—or maybe ever since you bandaged his wounds up every time you visited.

Sometimes at night, he wonders why you stopped visiting after the death of his brother. Was he nothing more than a boy you took pity on? Was he not valid enough of a reason for you to come back?

He doesn’t know if it’s right to say it, or appropriate in any way but he knows about the value of second chances. After all, he was miraculously given one in life with the cost of his brother’s life.

“I missed you.”

The words falling out of his mouth comes to you as a shocker, eyebrows raised upon the claim.

“You were there for me at my lowest, when I got beaten up by my dad, abandoned by my mother,” Jungkook steps closer, and he steals the chance of you being momentarily stunned to grab your hands gently, cautiously.

He looks to the side, brows knitted in concentration to try and express himself in broken sentences in the best way possible. “You helped me, a-and all I did was try tear your life apart.”  

“Yeah, congratulations. You succeeded.” Your tone is menacing, filled with venom and vengeance for the guy who stood before you. But you still didn’t quite get the part of you assisting him in the past. Unless…

The next thing that happens is something you thought you would never be able to witness in your life. The forbidden tear seeps out of the corner of his eyes and flows down the cold skin of his cheek. Because your reply to his heartfelt confession is all it takes to shred the last bit of control he has of his emotions, before he is breaking down right in front of your eyes.

Out of pure instincts and zero intentions, you hold his hand back as a tiny form of reassurance.

You’re wondering if it is in you to protect and to help others in need, or it’s simply just because your heart is beginning to ache for Jungkook and the pain he has been through. It’s like for a minute or so, you have forgotten all about the traumas he created for you and the scars he left on your skin—because the distance between both your bodies are closed eventually (you don’t remember when exactly and who stepped forward) and you’re hugging a crying Jungkook.

It’s baffling how you are willing to put aside your feelings for someone like Jungkook. Maybe it’s in you, maybe it’s just in you, and you would do it for anyone else and it’s not solely because of Jungkook. But who were you lying to?

“I’m sorry Y/N…I really fucking am, god! I would do anything to gain your forgiveness,” Jungkook sobs into your shoulders. If only it were that easy—to forget about all his wrongdoings and eradicate the constant and lingering fear he introduced in you.

“It takes time,” You pull away from him, “but I guess I can try.” 

Your voice is barely above a whisper as you tell him your decision. His fingers wind up in your hair, clutching you close to the warmth of his body. 

You’d rather be free and experience the happiness that is paired with sorrow, then to swirl forever in a whirlpool of anxiety, self-pity and hatred. This could be a turning point for your life, and you were willing to take up on the offer because you had nothing to lose. 

Getting hurt will be an experience in your life, whether or not it does occur for the second time, you have grown to accept the way some people are and the way you choose to respond to ugly situations. You were constantly trapped in a cage of uncertainty and insecurity, blinded by the fog of stubborn overthinking and worrying, you failed to realise that the key to unlocking yourself from these bars are in your very own hands. It is a phase of learning, growing, accepting—and loving.

You’re hoping this chamomile tea would fight off the thoughts and memories of your late best friend. 

You carefully bring the hot liquid closer to your mouth, your lips resting on the circumference of the teacup, the lovely aroma dosed in the smoke produced flowing into your nostrils and reaching every part of your body. 

Your lonely umbrella stands quietly in the corner of this coffee shop, drenched and drying by itself. 

It was a rather empty coffee house, located opposite a goddamned cemetery, like which genius on earth decided to open a lovely café filled with sunflowers and tulips, fragrant coffee and sweet pastries beside a home for corpses? Or rather go to work every day seeing the dead and the frequent sad faces of their families.

But the shop came to rather good use for your mini hideout from the cruel family you detested.

After having a quick sip, a man dashes into the shop, the bells at the door ringing so violently the potted plants all turn to face the perpetrator in a face of disgust.

He hurriedly sweeps his hair back, rain water splattering everywhere and dusts the remaining droplets off his windbreaker, before heading further inside to find a seat.

Life never stops to amaze you in every single, way.

Jeon.

His shit-eating grin appears at the sight of you.

Jung.

“Oh, Y/N!”

Kook.

He makes his way over to your place and sits down without invitation.

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?”

It comes out at the same time quite amusingly, and light giggles emitted from the both of you.

“I came to visit a friend.”

“My parents came to visit my brother.”

Same time, yet again but you managed to catch onto his sentence.

“Why aren’t you with them? You hated him with all your life or something?” You try to joke and lighten the already very dark atmosphere, but you realised the worst mistake you could ever make was to say something like that about someone’s death.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-” You quickly cover up and apologise, hoping Jungkook would take no offence to your stupid joke.

“No, it’s fine really. I didn’t know him that well anyways.”

You keep silent, not wanting to say anything insensitive anymore.

None of you said anything after that, and you feel worse than ever at the change in his expression—like he was hurt by something.

“To reply your question, no. My brother is the last person I would hate I guess. He helped me a lot.”

Confused, you probed further.

“What do you mean by that?”

Jungkook clears his throat and wraps his hands around your cup of tea to seek warmth.

“Well technically, he passed away, I still don’t know how but it saved me from the misery I went through when I was a child back then.”

You watch the smoke rise from the cup, fading into thin air as they soar higher.

I’m Junghyun’s brother, Jeon Jungkook.

The flushing of the rain has ceased to a slow drizzle, and the rain drops left on the window pane are in a race to see who reaches the bottom first.

Your eyes slowly look up to meet Jungkook’s, dawned upon the realisation of it all—the lost pieces of the jigsaw puzzle coming together to form the picture, finally.

Jungkook doesn’t see how your face had entirely changed, your features now plastered with disbelief and a burning urge to find out the truth. He continues blabbering on.

“Nothing surprising, but my parents see me as some bad omen and for me to visit my brother, that’s strictly not allowed. But I have a company dinner to attend to later on so I tagged along and roamed the surroundings of this graveyard since I couldn’t-”

“Wait,” You grab your bag and stand up. “Come with me. You have to see something.”

He mumbles a ‘oh sure why not’ and the both of you are walking towards the group of people you saw earlier on.

“Y/N, is that you?” The whole family lifts their heads to take a good look at you, not paying much attention to the man you’ve brought along with you.

“Oh my, how beautiful you’ve grown!” She exclaims once she confirms that it is indeed you, best companion of their first son. His father turns even more gloomy at the sight of you, his lips curling downwards even more, as if he has been brought back to the times when you came over and played water balloon fights, kicked soccer balls for fun and climbed tress— with his son. His one and only son that he had already lost.

“Why won’t you let Jungkook see him?” Not even a greeting is spared and you may be coming off as impolite, but on serious note you couldn’t care less if it’s anything got to do with these monsters of a parents. Jungkook raises his brows at how daring you were to use that tone against his powerful family.

You’re only met with silence and you push Jungkook to the front, to which he only looks down, seemingly afraid of his parents.

“That’s because I only have one son! And it will be like that forever!” His father raises his voice at you and you don’t even flinch. You almost want to thank Jungkook deep down, for forcing you to become such a tough bitch honestly.

“Then let me tell you now, that your one and only son is gone from this world forever because of none other than his cruel father!”

The clouds decide to release the rest of the water it contains, to wash away all the unspoken misdeeds and cleanse the sins in this corrupted family.

Everyone shuts up at your accusation, his parents know more than their son being reported on the news as a death caused by an accident, behind closed doors are devious secrets and pretentious lies. Everyone knows, only Jungkook is standing there completely clueless about the whole situation. Your umbrella lowers, to hide your bitten lip and tear-stained face. Jungkook takes the handle from your hand and carries it for you, putting his hand around your shoulder to pull you close to him.

It’s hard to see your tears in the pouring rain.

I’m sorry.

Because by the time you are probably reading this, I am already dead.

I’m sorry for scaring you with the sudden news like that but it is something that had to be done. I am tired of the nightmares and scary monsters that creep on me at night. I am tired of hugging my pillow so tight and trying to block off the screams coming from downstairs. I am so afraid, Y/N. I have no idea what my parents are doing behind my back, but it surely sounds like nothing good. I am living in this house with terror and I cannot do this anymore. Sometimes I really want to tell you how scared I am at night when I hear those sounds in the house but knowing you, you will come and help me and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. There is a bottle of rat poison in the storeroom, just know that the cause of my death isn’t from some accident or something that my parents will put on the news. I’m not that clumsy like you haha. This is the only way to save everyone from this misery and I chose this path myself. I will always love you, you know that right? I’m sorry I’m weak and I cannot handle fear. You are strong I know it and you will get over this. Look at the moon when you’re sad okay? Take good care of yourself, Always have you in my heart.

[9uk]

[UPDATE]

It’s the end of the week folks, and what does that mean? Yes that is right, LMSCTY 6 will be released shortly after this commercial break.

[9uk]

That part with sooyong triggered me bad lol why? Cannot understand what she had to gain from it, same goes for taehyung.

Sooyoung did that in order to keep her friends by taking one side. Afterall, she and Seulgi & Wendy were friends longer than she was with oc.

-

Taehyung bumps into a body among the crowd of people downstairs.

“Oh, Taehyung!” Her face gleams at the sight of him and he honestly doesn’t recognise her at all. Was it Suran? Soyeon..? Or-

“It’s Seulgi. Why are you in a hurry?”

Truth is Taehyung had just got cockblocked by noneother than the shitface of his friend Jungkook and the tent in his pants is growing abnormally large, his boner raging up to the skies—He wanted to fly home or if lucky, have another girl suck him off good to ease the pain in his balls.

But he wouldn’t tell her that. It looked like lady luck was on his side today, shoving a girl right in his face to settle his little problem right after he lost you.

So he tells her, “Y/N just threw herself at me like a mad hungry whore wanting some dick,” He didn’t mean to portray you as such a person when you were actually pretty decent—but it soothes the tint of pink dusted on his cheeks and strokes his insatiable ego. Seulgi’s eyes almost bulge out of her sockets, and there’s a little anger laced in them for some reason.

“I didn’t want any of that though, but I think I just found what I want.” He licks his lips and scans her body, the corner of his lips rising into a playful smirk.

Seulgi is flushed, low-key panicking for that wasn’t what she expected of Taehyung at all. But judging by how his lips were bitten and swollen, his hair tousled and a love bite peeking out from the back of his neck—it made her heart twitch a little with sourness, and she was extremely displeased just by thinking about what you had done to him.

“I-I need to go.” She doesn’t want to sleep with sloppish seconds, she merely wants to go out on a date with him and nothing else—and yet the first thing he tries with her is to get into her pants after doing god knows what with you.

You. You ruined it all. Seulgi could have a proper start and conversation with her crush who stood right in front of her right now, but she is leaving because she doesn’t want to give into her temptations and do something she would regret, leaving a bad impression on Taehyung. She wouldn’t stoop that low. Like you did.

[9uk]

I have a serious question to ask and it's been bothering me since i don't know when... i was wandering why did JK's father beat him and despise him that much, and why did his mother abandon him?? like did he do something specific as a child so bad that they couldn't forgive him?

It wasn’t really anything got to do with Jungkook’s personality. Actually if you squint hard enough you would notice that his father referred to Junghyun as “his one and only son” indirectly meaning that Jungkook was the result of his mother’s affair with another man. That is why his father detested the sight of Jungkook and his mother decided to take his father’s side, for money and power came before her own son with the third party of the marriage. Junghyun and Jungkook are techinally step-brothers

[9uk]

I think if you do a spin off, we’ll find out what’s preferable to us individually. Some of us might like the original epilogue while some of us might like the epilogue of where there are romantic feelings. I’d say do it! But if not, that’s totally okay! This is your story and it’s still great with or without a spin off :)

you have no idea how thankful i am for this piece of message, i was so lost bxjdbsjsb i think i will do it. thank u! 💗 jk x y/n shippers let’s get it.

[9uk]

[UPDATE]

afzhsjakbzjs idk if y’all care but i almost done with LMSCTY part three (3) UUUUUUU ＾ν＾

[9uk]

So is Junghyun Y/Ns bestfriend that passed away??? Or did i misinterpret that!? If so he's JKs brother but why wouldnt she know that jk was his bro! Her dreams are very interesting and im curious about why JK shuts down the way he did!!!

hohoho here it is. finally, the ask about junghyun ;> i’m gonna answer in terms of the content of chapter 4, to not spoil chapter 5:

#1 junghyun was y/n’s bestfriend

#2 he is technically also jungkook’s brother

#3 y/n has never seen jungkook before in junghyun’s house before, so why would she know about #2?

[9uk]

oh just saying

“...trying to me”

“...trying to run away from me”

for those who read pt.6 already there was a typo if y’all haven’t noticed and i think it just glitched idk why the words in pink disappeared even though it was clearly there when I checked.

Maybe this is a hint dropped from the deities.

Anyways stream the one & only queen ‘RUN’ M/V let’s get the beauty to 100M views.

[9uk]

OMFG THE PART 4 OF LMSCTY IS KILLING MMEEEEE!!! THE ENDING OH MY I CAN'T BREATHE!!! I REALLY need to find out the connection, the whole history, everything!! My eyes are filled with tears bc he is soo sweet despite all the rage and everyhting, my heart aches for him, i really can't wait for them to just tell everything and hopefully be together <3

thank you for reading my fic 💕 thank you for this! I’ll be sure to release part 5 soon enough to give closure ;>

[9uk]

Can I just say that I am IN LOVE with Let Me Stay Close To You ??? I read all the chapters in ONE FREAKING DAY!!! I LITERALLY check everytime to see if there’s an update!! I can not waaaiitt to read the next one!! I LOVE your writing!! You are the very best ✨😍💕

hi sweetie CAN I JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE SO CUTE AND SWEET?? I will try my best to get chapter three out okay luv ^^” thank u for ur support on this series💖 ily ;>

[9uk]

I contemplated for so long about whether or not to send u this ask, because I’m not really confident with sending things off anon :( but I just have to because u deserve the praise and feedback!! Just finished reading the last chapter of lmscty and omg...u are no doubt the queen of angst😭💖 and I mean that as a compliment because I live for angst😂💖 I’m really nervous for the next chapter, and I really can’t wait to see how their relationship will progress😭 Love you!!!💖💖

you have no idea how happy i feel from this ask!!! dont be afraid to go off anon on me ;> im seriously wow- THANK YOU for reading my fic and sending this ask luvly ^-^ i hope the next chapter doesnt disappoint seriously😊💗

[9uk]

GUYS calm down. Do you really think Y/N has forgiven Jungkook? Or rather not? Do you also know Jungkook’s full side of the story? Hehe chapter 4 guys...

[9uk]

So she never makes up with them? But why? Didnt they find out what really happened or did they just ignore it all?

Yep. Bcus it’s one of the push factors for her to allow Jungkook into her life technically. And mm in the plot they dont find out what happens.