#sae probably hates it and thinks its gross

[truthprevail]

the implication that sae passed the bar exam when she was in high school is wild to me because damn, she could be a prosecutor on ace attorney. anyways, jokes aside... sae would've been at the very beginning of her career when she had to become makoto's guardian.

there's something to be said about the fact that the treasure in her palace was implied to be her father's police notebook. her treasure doesn't get stolen but she still has a change of heart, one out of her own volition nevertheless. this does lead me to believe that early into her career she did believe in the same justice as her father, about carrying on his torch but then the workplace and all it's ugliness came hitting her like a ton of bricks.

in the P5 Dancing social with makoto, it's said that sae was actually interviewed by media because of how "beautiful" and young she was and i don't think it'd be a stretch to say that would be a catalyst as to how sae became a person with a palace.

the media attention would've been one of her first real brushes with misogyny and experiencing it firsthand. plus, she doesn't have that parental figure to provide her with moral support so she ends up bearing it all alone. eventually, she faces even more of that — most likely in the form of hearing how men at her exact same position making more than her, hearing about the way they talk about women, older men telling her she needs to have children etc etc

it makes sense why she would grow resentful towards her father's death (even though she knows its because her father was being used as a scapegoat) because she's LITERALLY in an profession that is supposed to uphold the law, supposed to be justice itself but it's anything BUT that; plus she has to face all that workplace grossness by herself, she doesn't let makoto in on all the gruesome details because she obviously loves her.

so yeah, it makes sense why the notebook aka a literal representation of her father's ideals would be the source of her distortion. she grows envious of the PTs who can uphold the very justice she knew her father would've wanted to uphold (it's why when makoto postulates how their father would support the PT that sae becomes triggered and snaps at her); she grows envious at the people (subconsciously, she probably assumed they were men) who can prattle on and on about justice because justice is a luxury she couldn't afford anymore. she has a little sister she wants to dote on, but also has the responsibility of being an authoritative guardian; she needs to stay employed and continue rising to the top because she hates being looked down on.

i think if the treasure in her palace was the notebook, it would be a beautiful full circle narrative about how once she clears the fog of envy and return to reason & the truth, she can recontextualize the relationship she has towards the justice she treasured so much — the justice that was inspired by a father she loved so much. instead of staying in a fucked up system that she knows is rigged and succumbing to the burnout that she was en route towards, she uses her professional knowledge, her connects to fight for the people who are being harmed by these injustices.

she knows she can't change the system from the inside : she is just one person, but she can fight for the underdog. just like the PTs who are fighting for all the underdogs against brutally oppressive figures of corruption.

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

cw ; reader is mentioned to wear heels at one point

i think. the basis of saes romantic interactions can be split evenly into two parts. the longest, most difficult part is the falling love aspect.

sae is a very. like. sense based person. the way he engages with things is with an even amount of interest and disinterest. his goals and emotions change what looks like on whim? but really its just like. a response to his surroundings if you will. sae isn't the type of person to force anything he doesn't want to do or doesn't like to do.

so i think in that sense, the falling in love happens in an extremely ordinary way. it's probably a series of decision. and i think he intially grows to like you because you're a little more challenging than his usual pool. you probably meet in the same place often, and there's probably some aspect of your personality that he finds entertaining. it's probably the slowest burn you'll ever experience, and it's probably not something you'll be aware of until much later. you really can't read his actions towards you at all.

and thats kind of on purpose because sae doesn't want to change the way you interact with him. so he's neutral and even. you won't know he likes you and he probably won't acknowledge it until some outside force reminds him. until he's at an event, and you're seperated and some gross old man is trying to get you to drink with him.

and sae really isn't in any position to do anything about it. you shimmy out of it though before that, but he kinda has to process that. and intially, i think he tries really hard to ignore his annoyance.

i think he finds it annoying that he spends at least 3 days constantly going back to not being able to do anything. not really, because you have a more strict relationship than what that allows. and i think that his frustration sort of culminates to talking to you less and staring at you more. in the middle of the night, he probably accepts it. like the flip of a switch. he has feelings for you. now what?

and the answer is confess, right? but thats just the thing. it's that sae knows you. he fell for you because you're a little like him. you're more feeling but still professional. often aloof. most importantly - you're not easily impressed and if he just goes and says he likes you, you might really laugh in his face. he likes that about you though. kinda makes him smile in a dramatic twist of irony.

and so, he waits the feeling out. tries to see if he can just ignore it. spoiler alert he can't, so what now? and thats the second half. it's that, for the first time in his entire life, sae has to try for something.

don't get me wrong. he's not in the business of forcing it. if he felt like he'd be forcing it, he wouldn't even be here. he'd really let it go. but he thinks there's a chance, and he knows he wants to date you by some metric. so for the first time in his whole life, sae really has to comprise and fucking try.

it feels awful btw. he hates every minute of it. you can't really have romance without a little mush. and he knows you're going to pick up on it because of course you will. it doesn't show on his face. it doesn't even look like he's trying, like a language only you two can understand.

but sae opens doors for you. he puts your heel on his thigh so he can fix the straps and touches you a little deliberately. leans into whisper in your ear and actually quells his bad moods when you're around because he doesn't want you to be pissed at him. he always clears the conversation so you can talk and he listens.

and it's unavoidable. it's a travesty for him and internally he's always so annoyed by the fact he's ended up here.

but he always thinks about the face you'll make when he ends up confessing to you. how funny it'd be to see you cry (read: how cute it'd be to wipe your tears) and keeps going. it's not something he has the luxury of being gifted. he is incredibly bad at being affectionate. always has been. at least rin was a sensitive kid.

but he knows it's you, and he knows he has to do something about it. so he has to put in a lot more mental effort than anyone on earth will ever find out about it and it kind of sucks for him lmao. but he's so possessive for that reason. no one gets it, but he's staked his claim and no one is getting in the way.

sae u are so weird. ur so strange king

[evelyntransitions-blog]

What do I call a broken microwave? (This is the “funny” part)

            So do you ever get mad a piece of furniture for being useless, gross or just annoying. Like, you hit your toe on the edge of a couch or a table and you hear that really fuckin’ unpleasant “thunk” or “dink”. Then you yell “GOD DAMN STUPID ASS FUCKING COUCH!” as if the inanimate couch can hear you and suddenly judge itself worth and change accordingly. That the couch by doing nothing is the real jackass in the situation as opposed to the dingbat ass person who ran into it. Well no matter where I move, or who I live with there’s a 100% chance the microwave will be a piece of shit. Low and behold I moved into my apartment recently and there was a piece of shit microwave just waiting to nuke my future pizza rolls only to sneak in and with it’s secret ice magic go full mr. freeze all over their fuckin’ insides. I HATE SHITTY MICROWAVES.                 Though in my “white identity conflict” I found myself wondering what I would call this microwave when it broke, and believe it or not “piece of shit” was not the first thing to come to mind. It was probably the 20th thing and the first typically white thing to call a microwave. The uncanny microwave that still sits above the stove probably possessed by the ghost of hosiers past needed to be called something. I had to be ready, but I couldn’t think. Every word I thought of was “slang” or AAVE. It was “That jank as microwave”, “That skeet ass microwave”, “That ghetto ass microwave” “That gangly ass microwave” and even though it didn’t totally make sense “That boochi ass microwave”. Due to my Mom’s side of the family being so casual and also having to deal with their fair share of bad microwaves, never had a chance to call a microwave anything derogatory in SAE or some “a-typical white” varient of that. I decided to thus cut out specfic words and use more general ones but that didn’t work too well either “Bitch ass microwave” “fuggin nasty ass microwave” “big nasty” “lil nasty” “lil junky” and “shit ass microwave” I hit every way of insulting this stupid microwave before I thought to myself “WHAT WOULD I CALL THAT PEICE OF SHI...i’d call it a piece of shit...”            After the microwave conundrum I pretty much gave up on trying to be a “normal” white person. I’m just going to talk naturally with my mood, because it feels right. If there’s ever a time where I offend someone who’s black it’s going to be the ordeal, because i’m going to have a hard time adjusting and changing things. Though I don’t want to force myself to be “more white” that would just be lying to myself and more microwave headaches would ensue. What’s to be gathered from this is that it’s good to be respectful to something or someone you don’t fully understand. Though if you like something you should try to learn about it and kinda integrate it into your life, especially if its something you grew up around. That doesn’t mean the thing is yours, but it’s something to rest on. You shouldn’t avoid things that you love if they’re not hurting you. If you’re ever in a pickle apologize for what you’ve done but say “Hey I like this thing your doing that I did wrong, what’s the right way to do it?” (In my case the way I talk is such a fucking litter box of words and phrases it’d be almost impossible to adjust) With that being said the extremely nasty stereotype about black people being ignorant, violent and easily offended in critical scenarios needs to FUCKING DIE. STOP THAT. TALK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOU AHHH.              Not to mention, and though this is a weird and maybe inappropriate to say, I don’t know. Making people associate or dissociate themselves from things based on skin color seems like i’d be pushing people backward. Granted white people don’t have to deal with systematic oppression so me saying that is kind eeeeeh, but it’s still a good point in general. Human comfort when not out of insecurity seems to usually be the best route.  I dunno, i’m just glad I figured out what to talk a shitty microwave. Please don’t hate me ;u;