#sdlafkfjaslfksad

[not-poignant]

So much happened in the new chapter for UtR what a roller coaster. I’m curious as to what Caleb was thinking through this conversation because being in Faber’s pov feels like the mental equivalent of having three pair of sunglasses on and trying to describe a painting you’ve never seen before.

That image made me laugh when I imagined it, because like, yeah, Faber's POV really is so opaque. He's hiding from his past, he's hiding from his emotions, he's hiding from his thoughts, he's trying to filter what's happening with Caleb through all of that.

It's like listening to a radio station underwater while wearing earplugs (though I like your analogy more, lmao).

As for Caleb, honestly, I think he's been aware of a growing concern towards Faber's treatment of him, and not really knowing what to do with that. It's come to a head where he's like 'if this person really thinks I abused him, I'd rather know so we can do something about that via a professional track (like human resources / counseling / whatever works) instead of dealing with sniping and personal attacks any time I talk to him. I still like this guy, even though he's actually treated me terribly since we started working at Hillview, and it's possible I've been wrong about him all along, but I'd like to think he's a good guy and maybe he actually thinks I'm the monster. But either way, I can no longer accept personal attacks on my ability to do my job.'

I do think he wasn't making the complaint to make Faber talk to him, as generous an interpretation as this is! I think he wanted to genuinely make a complaint, and to have it in writing so it doesn't become a 'he said / he said' style argument down the track, and so that there's a paper trail in case this needs to be escalated. From Caleb's perspective, it's been four years and he really doesn't understand why Faber has such a chip on his shoulder about him.

I think, as well, Caleb's genuinely like 'well, maybe I was abusive in a way I didn't understand to Faber, but that still doesn't impact my ability to do my job well, and if he has an issue with me, he should bring it up with me instead of attacking me in front of my boss, which is the opposite of what a professional person would do.'

And, honestly, I think Caleb's also sick of his own responses re: sniping back at Faber. That's why he does make it professional and polite, and books a meeting and a meeting room, and makes it not at all about little potshots in text messages, and instead tries to do everything above board.

But man, Faber is really good at dragging Caleb back into not being professional with him. Caleb's hanging on by a thread here trying to make sure everything is professional, meanwhile the most Vulnerable Tortured Man In The World is begging him to let Faber keep his job, and Caleb's like 'what do I doooooooooo.'

Idk he's trying