#seagull.thoughts

[seagull-energy]

Lord of the Rings is a very comforting book for me as an (aro)ace person because it's so full of love without being overly focused on romantic and sexual relationships.

It has all the aspects of romance that I love to read about: the devotion, the yearning, and the being there for each other in times of need, without focusing on all the physical stuff that grosses me out like, idk, the feel of their tongues in each others mouths. And!! Importantly!!! All that excellent yearning and devotion isn't confined to the romantic relationships, it's in all of the relationships (well, to different extents, some have less yearning than others).

So like, while I completely understand where people are coming from in shipping Frodo and Sam or Legolas and Gimli in a romantic sense, (I get it! I see the chemistry!) I actually prefer them as platonic or queerplatonic partners. I love that they're the most important people in each other's lives and would do anything for each other without being romantically or sexually involved. It's really special to me.

Anyway, not sure why I felt like writing this now, but here it is I guess

[seagull-energy]

AUGH YES. I am CONSTANTLY yelling about this and how the dwindling of episode counts in modern television seasons has done HORRIBLE things to pacing and character development.

A lot of modern television feels like it's trying to be a really long movie, what with the constant cliffhangers and breakneck pace of the plot and I DO NOT LIKE IT.

At some point I'm going to post an entire manifesto about how this has affected Star Trek specifically and it's going to be very long and very salty.

[seagull-energy]

An Ode to Antonia

Spoilers for Thunderbolts* ahead

As I'm sitting in my screening of Thunderbolts* having the time of my life watching the four way battle between Yelena, Ava, Antonia, and Walker, a shot rings out though the theater's sound system. Antonia falls to the floor on the screen, a bullet hole through her head. My jaw drops open in shock. Is this real? Surely not. Antonia has been on all the posters, all of the marketing, she is a main character of this movie... right? The scene that follows her death is incredibly well made and funny and one of my favorite scenes in the film, but I spend the entirety of it willing Antonia to get up, hoping this is a fakeout, in complete disbelief that this is an actual plot point of the movie. It's only when the incinerator goes off and the room fills with fire that I accept that yes, this is happening. She's really gone.

I enjoy the rest of the film. I grin when Bucky shows up to save/capture them; I cry during Yelena's speech to Alexei; I hold my breath as they all help Bob fight the Void; I roll my eyes at Walker a lot. But through it all, I think of Antonia. And I think of the lost potential of her story.

I do not know Antonia Dreykov. None of us do (except maybe Olga Kurylenko). In Black Widow she is silent; more of an obstacle than a character. She serves as a wonderful distillation of Natasha's past crimes still haunting her, only defeated when she is accepted and embraced, but she is not a person. She is a tool for the writers to explore thematic ideas. I suppose that's what all characters are, but most hide the inner workings of their narrative function behind a veil of personality and dimension. Antonia has no veil. She is voiceless and she is faceless, any life she might've had hidden behind her mask and the fact that she only speaks two lines across both of the films she features in. Perhaps I should have expected this, was she not marked for death from her very first appearance? A little girl, sent to the slaughter of other people's character arcs. It's an old tale, far from a surprising one at this point, but still; I had hoped we were past this by now. I do not know Antonia, but I wanted to learn about her.

My thoughts go to the others---the ones whose deaths served others more than their own character arcs, or worse, were completely pointless. Gamora and Natasha, sacrificed for a set of mcguffins; Frigga and May, victims to the age-old 'Dead Mom Curse'; Jane, brought back into the MCU seemingly just to die; and of course Wanda, unnecessarily villainized and unceremoniously killed. And outside of the MCU, Jean Grey, who can never be trusted to live with her power. I also think of the ones who live, but are pushed aside by the narrative. Sharon and America, who feel like afterthoughts in stories where they are supposed to be major characters. Maybe it was naïve, but I thought we were past this. I can't express how excited I was to see a team that was evenly split between women and men. That is so rare in this genre of stories, and has been almost unheard of in the MCU. I was excited to see more of Antonia and Ava, to see them get to be people instead of mysterious antagonists. And I got nothing. Antonia is dead and Ava got nothing to do but offer the occasional snarky comment. I am so tired of being disappointed like this.

Is it too much to ask? That every woman in a story feel like a multidimensional character? That every member of a team has time to shine and show their personality? Thunderbolts* is not a bad movie! It's not even a bad movie for female characters! Yelena is the main character and Valentina is the main antagonist and both are layered and interesting characters (although I personally can't stand Val). And then there's Mel, who has so much potential bubbling just under the surface! This is not Avengers 1, where Natasha is the only woman with significant screen time, we have come so far since those days (more MCU projects have been woman-led than not since phase 4 started) and that is amazing and so many of those projects have made me very happy. And yet. There always seems to be another senseless death, whether it's for shock, or stakes, or another character's arc. "To him we are just things." Yelena said in Black Widow. I hate how true it is.

[seagull-energy]

@malkaleh @nocompromise-noregrets

So I've been thinking about gold cages!imladris family and I think that alongside amita suman as cel and jayden revri as the twins, I think we should fancast jayme jo from the current australian cast of the lotr musical as arwen <333

I mean LOOK AT HER!!! have you ever seen someone look more like arwen?????? I have not. She's currently the arwen understudy and I am very sad I can't go to Australia and see her

[seagull-energy]

I find it very entertaining that my stance on revalink has evolved from "Breath of the Wild would be funnier if Revali had a giant repressed crush on Link" to "the deepest tragedy of their relationship is that neither of them was in the right headspace to reach out to the other before the Calamity so by the time they have the chance to actually bond, Revali is dead and any relationship they build is on a tangible time limit and--"

This is not the first time I have started liking a ship because it's funny and then grown increasingly invested in the actually fascinating dynamics between the characters, and yet I keep being blindsided by it. "Oh, this is the ship I'll just be into because it's silly and fun" nope. never works. I'll always end up invested.

[seagull-energy]

oh this conversation makes me SOB, for many reasons, but especially the last part because I WAS that little hobbit child. My dad started reading me lotr just after I turned 6 and he read from the anniversary edition with the red and black spines (not letters, but close enough( and I don't know why thinking about that makes me cry but it does. (quite a bit actually)

I guess it might be the feeling of being in the story in a way? Or something about lotr being meant to be TOLD to people? I'm really not sure, but it makes me feel some shrimp emotions that get expressed as tears

core of the whole story. so melancholy but also hopeful.

[seagull-energy]

thinking about my new Nat-never-defected Captain America: the Winter Soldier au that currently exists exclusively in my brain as random disconnected ideas... Here are some of the thoughts in case anyone wants to come play in the sandbox and build on this :D

Natasha is a double agent for the Red Room/Hydra (but she doesn't really want to be)

Nat and Bucky's comic relationship is a thing

Sharon is involved more and better

the Red Room/Winter Soldier program connections are explored!!

Stevesharon and winterwidow are spy/soldier couple foils :)))))

Nat would be an ally for a bit, then betray Steve & Sharon, and then rejoin them sometime around the final fight (maybe when Hydra's presence is revealed she's ordered to kill that one guy who says 'no I won't do this' but she refuses? idk yet

Nat and Bucky go on the run together at the end

[seagull-energy]

Hey, have you guys ever noticed something about Tolkien's descriptions of women in Lord of the Rings? "Then lightly she passed them and closing the door she turned her back to it, with her white arms spread out across it." - about Goldberry in 'The Old Forest' or 'In the House of Tom Bombadil' (I don't remember which offhand and I don't have my copy of the book to check)

"her white arms and clear face were flawless and smooth" - about Arwen in 'Many Meetings'

"She lifted up her white arms, and spread out her hands towards the East in a gesture of rejection and denial." - about Galadriel in 'The Mirror of Galadriel'

For all three of these women (and potentially Éowyn too, I just can't find a passage confirming it right now) their skin color is described specifically by their arms. Which means that they have to be wearing gowns that expose their arms, either short sleeved or sleeveless. I think this is a very interesting design tidbit that's often overlooked by a lot of fanartists (myself included)

[seagull-energy]

Thanks for the tag!! It's hard to choose a favorite interaction that's sprung from something I've created, but I would say this year's TRSB collaboration with @nocompromise-noregrets is definitely up there. Joining the Uhura Bang back in 2021 is also up there. I met most of my current online friends (directly or indirectly) because of that.

Passing on the tag :D @herenya-writes @marlinspirkhall @space-dog-from-space @championrevali @roundtriptojupiter

Writers/artists/creators alike, I want you to share your favorite interaction(s) that you’ve had thanks to the wonderful things you make!

Tagging a few people to get the ball rolling: @sunnyrosewritesstuff @fantasyinallforms @starthecozy @its-atlass @conkers-theficwriter @consultingpacha @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @sotwk @myeaglesong @nocompromise-noregrets @mysandwichranaway @smoking-old-toby @smolestboop @smoothedsmoothie @scyllas-revenge @middleearthpixie @tetchy-frog @mrkida-art @niennawept

[seagull-energy]

Riding over the hills, and eating their fill, the warm sun and the scent of turf, lying a little too long, stretching out their legs and looking at the sky above their noses: these things are, perhaps, enough to explain what happened. However that may be: they woke suddenly and uncomfortably from a sleep they had never meant to take.

So I'm not entirely sure what to call this technique, but the slightly uncertain narrator here adds a whole new level of creepiness to this whole scene. Like, compare this moment to when the hobbits are ensnared by Old Man Willow: they don't know what's happening, but based on the narration, we the readers can make a pretty good guess that the willow tree is behind their sudden sleep. But here? Here the narrator specifically acknowledges that yeah, it could have just been that they were tired after a long morning, but we don't know.

Anyway thanks, Tolkien, this chapter has been terrifying me for 13 years.

[seagull-energy]

I'm seeing Springsteen tomorrow and I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! This is going to be the second time I've been to one of his concerts (the first was in 2009 when I was 4, I fell asleep XD) and I'm looking forward to actually remembering it this time!!

[seagull-energy]

right. about to do something unhinged. Gay I'm Not That Girl animatic speedrun starting now. Let's see how long it takes me, I shall post regular updates

[seagull-energy]

Yeah I loved Legion Lost but also it Broke me :((((( Haven't been able to reread it since because it's so burned into my memory. THE BIT WITH TINYA??? OUCH???? YES you're so right about the second threeboot issue!! Nura's complicated life my beloved. And omgggg DO go on about the queercoding conspiracy theories, I 100% agree. (as of 2019 or so Brainy is canonically demi and that delights me to no end) As for redesigns, I've posted most of them on my instagram (which I will not link here, but will dm upon request) or I can send you them directly on discord >:))))) I basically went through every character's entire design history and picked my favorite design/elements to shuffle together into a new look and it was very fun. I've just about finished the silver age folks, but I'll probably add some reboot characters (whose designs will likely not change much lol) because I just love them so much <3333 ALSO important question!!!! Have you ever watched the 2006 animated series? Bc it's GREAT and has a lot of reboot vibes imo. Also one of my favorite Brainy characterizations

YOU'RE A LEGION OF SUPERHEROES FAN HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS ALREADY?????? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ERA??? MINE IS SILVER AGE BC I READ THE ARCHIVE EDITIONS A LOT AS A KID

SDKFJGHSKDJFGHSJKDGH YOU'RE A LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES FAN??? RIGHT BACK AT YOU

i don't talk about it much partly because it's one of my most niche comics interests (and partly because i don't talk about my comics interests very much at all); also bc my relationship with the various eras/continuities is....... complicated? all my comics knowledge comes from reading whatever i found in my dad's study growing up. in this case that means i started with mark-waid-era threeboot, which i still have a nostalgic attachment to but also an ongoing feud with, before later discovering DnA-era reboot continuity, which i think is probably still my favourite. earlier reboot stuff i've read a bit of but don't know that well, and i'm not sure i know any silver-age stuff (though could be talked into trying some!)

[seagull-energy]

Thinking about how the tragedy of Steve Rogers just keeps growing as time goes on... like sure it was disorienting to lose 20 years of time when the icing plot first emerged in the 60s, but that's nothing compared to the 70 years that MCU canon and other current adaptations use. In the 60s things had jumped technologically, his friends were older and had settled down, etc etc... but nowadays almost everyone he knew is dead and practically nothing is recognizable anymore... but all the things he was fighting against are still problems and it's just aaaaaa :(

[seagull-energy]

if I had time, energy, and access to RoP clips, I would do an edit of Sauron to 'Hate Me' by P!nk because I think it fits his vibe perfectly however I do not have those three things, so I shall simply put this idea out to the RoP fandom and hope someone appreciates it

[seagull-energy]

The fact that Gambit's ponytail gets tucked inside his mask/headband thing makes me deeply upset. Free the ponytail!!