#shaylenes textposts

[thepraline]

"ughhhh babe i have a 11 inch dick ughhh babe ur gonna feel so good 🧟‍♂️" shut up and tell me how many lines you can quote from Anchorman 2 and maybe I'll give you the time of day

[thepraline]

I should've been suggestively sucking on barbecue glazed ribs yesterday but no one's dad was around to barbecue for me

[thepraline]

I had the best cookies&cream ice cream and now I'm kind of horny good for me

[thepraline]

I went to a buffet today, and when I was in line for the snow crab, tell me why some woman tried swooping in on me ☠️☠️ I already had an idea of what she was trying to do when she came and stood NEXT to me when the other lady was in front of me 😭

Then sure enough, the second she moved, that woman started moving, and that's when I asked her do you not see a line 😂😂. The excuse is always "I just want a few" and it's like...well get in line for your few like everyone else ☠️

This happens to me very frequently, I'm not sure why...but I've been starting to speak up for myself instead of letting it happen. It isn't like it'd kill me to wait a few more seconds, BUT THAT ISNT THE POINT HERE 😭 it's just fucking rude, even more when it's so blatant.

[thepraline]

I jiggle like cranberry jelly in those fitted maxi spaghetti strap dresses with the split down the side 😮‍💨

[thepraline]

Fresh out the shower ✨️ I used my peach body wash/lotion and peach perfume today 🤍 I smell so good 🤤

When I showered earlier this morning, I didn't do anything fancy, I was exhausted ☠️ but now I feel like me again after my walk

[thepraline]

I had a full blown laughing fit in the bathroom at my friend's other friend's house 😭😭😭😭, I was minding my own business peeing, and suddenly, across from me on the sink I saw the handsoap bottle, and it's called SANTA'S COOKIES 😭😭😭

Maybe I'm just in a goofy mood, but I fully broke down into hyena hysterics 💔💔💔 it's July 😭

My hands did smell all ginger-y and sweet, at least the description didn't lie ☠️

[thepraline]

people can be creeps but at least the slice of sweet potater pie can't

[thepraline]

Craving French toast and banana cool-whip 💔

(I blend up slices of banana with cool-whip and use that as a spread)

[thepraline]

executive convos

[thepraline]

my trip is on the 8th, so I won't be around for the week 😊 I'm not even gonna really use my phone, I want to fully enjoy myself ✨️ I got a digital camera so my friends and I can put the photos in an album 🇮🇹🤍

[thepraline]

taking myself out to lunch today because I deserve it ✨️💅🏽

[thepraline]

I've been developing my appoggio technique for opera, and it's been doing wonders ✨️ my sound is more natural and free. I can have a really heavy sound if I'm not careful ☠️

[thepraline]

i have learned to just: not. 😂😂😂😂☮️

[thepraline]

at the shelter talking MESS about my boss to Mr. Cuddles, at the shelter talking MESS about my boss to Mr. Cuddles, at the shelter talking MESS about my boss to Mr. Cuddles, at the shelter talking MESS about my boss to Mr. Cuddles 🐶🗣🍵

[thepraline]

I wanna make nasty amateur porn in my room with someone 💔