#she calls the fact that they’re mirrored ‘lazy’ and later on in the video get annoyed that Edric and Emira from TOH have mirrored birthmarks

[nami-moittli]

Getting so pissed by that twin who rates twins on TikTok because she has such a clear bias towards characters she knows vs ones she doesn’t. YES I’m still mad at her giving Jade and Floyd a low score originally because what do you mean that the tweels still count as the evil twin trope when most of the cast are also villains but I see a video of you rating the twins from the Simpsons and I see you saying that you “don’t mind” that they’re antagonistic because “You know, everyone in the Simpsons is terrible”

[anika-ann]

Attached: Words We Don’t Mean

(...and Those We Do)

Type: series, modern-college-professor Steve AU… aka the wrong attachment AU ;)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 7950 👀

Summary: Your parents decide to visit for Thanksgiving, which alone is a trial. 

The fact that they haven’t met Steve yet and they have no clue who he is… yeah, you better brace yourself for a storm.

A/N: Attached: Words We Don’t Mean (and Those We Do) is a one-shot to the Attached series. Technically, you can read it as a standalone.

A/N: In the Stockings fic, I mentioned that no one in their household talked about (last) Thanksgiving. Here’s why. Also: I named the parents Paul and Jane, it’s enough of a mess to work around with nameless reader; if that offends you, sorry, feel free to move on from this fic.

Warnings: angst, parents-daughter fight, mention of sexual relationhips and of using one’s body to earn money (negative view), mild flashback, emotional H/C, swearing, sprinkles of fluff and Disney

Story masterlist

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“Sweetheart, please, sit down for just a second,” Steve requested gently; however, there was no mistaking the drop of amusement in his voice.

You hummed in acknowledgement of his words and continued scrubbing the bathtub clean.

Everything had to be perfect. Had to be. You bought the tinniest of the giant turkeys yesterday – just so you wouldn’t have to eat leftovers for a month –, ingredients for the stuffing, potatoes and cranberry sauce. Your mum had promised to stop by somewhere to get four slices of a pumpkin pie. But cooking was on your list later today; first you needed to make sure that the apartment would shine with cleanness.

Not that you considered yourself a neat freak, thank you very much… maybe occasionally. And Steve? Yeah, he was more of a neat freak than you were and now he was telling you to rest and take it easy? Uh-huh, nope.

Nope, because… your parents -- gosh, your parents.

“Honey-“

Your head snapped to him as he bounced off of the doorframe, soft steps leading him right to you.

“Did you just call me honey?” you asked incredulously.

Not that you didn’t like it, it was just-- you were Steve’s sweetheart, his babygirl, his good girl… now honey? That was new and frankly, it might have freaked you out a bit.

Also, your heart skipped a frantic beat upon looking at him.

Damn, you forgot again about what he had done yesterday and it always startled you to see him like that. Too unusual – not bad-looking by any means, just… unusual.

Steve chuckled as he crouched to you, dropping a kiss to the top of your head and cupping your mildly sweaty cheek. He grimaced a bit at your surprised tone.

“Not a fan?”

“I mean, yeah, sure, hun, it’s just that… it’s a bit ominous, the change.”

One corner of his lips rose at your choice of a petname. “That’s because you’re freaking out and I need you to calm down a bit, sweetheart.”

Your eyebrows shot up and you scoffed, rather offended. Mostly because he was right – but also because he was being a damn hypocrite.

“Oh, am I? Me? Did I spend about an hour in front of the mirror yesterday, trying and almost failing to solve the dilemma whether I should or shouldn’t shave off my beard?”

Steve’s face turned entirely sour at your snarky remark.

“Don’t be mean, it’s a valid concern to-- I don’t want them to hate me,” he murmured and dropped his gaze in shame along with his hand, seemingly shrinking into himself, his insecurity returning.

You sighed and mentally cursed yourself for bringing it up again.

You dropped the brush to the tub with a thud and lost one of your gloves, wiping the ew feeling onto your old sweats before you tried to smoothen the worried wrinkle between his eyebrows.

“They’re gonna love you, Steve,” you assured him again, letting you fingers travel over his clean-shaved jaw, lightly pulling at his cheek to make him smile again. “I miss the beard, not gonna lie, but you do have an extremely sweet boy-next-door look now, you are my handsome, funny, smart as hell guy, who’s somehow all grown up and has life stuff figured out and you’re making me happy. You’re the epitome of the guy a girl wants to bring home to meet her parents.”

Despite slightly panting from exertion, you took care to sound as convincing as possible, pushing away your own worries for a bit.

Steve was your perfect guy, perfection incarnated; you weren’t worried about him not making an impression… except for the fact that Steve did have a few years on you and worked at the uni and—well.

Yet, you couldn’t but dread the moment your parents realized that you were everything but perfect since they let you loose on the world. You had never been the daughter to show off like the epitome of everything good and wholesome, but you always tried your best to please them…. Now though? Darting your professor? Even if he wasn’t exactly your professor?

Yeah, you didn’t think that a spotless apartment could make up for that, but it helped to ease your anxiety when you kept lying to yourself that it just might.

Steve grasped your palm in his, planting a tiny kiss there – a gesture to warm your heart, always – his lips once again curled up a fraction as his gaze met yours, his mesmerizing blues kind and hopeful.

“You really think so?”

“Of course.”

And with the way he was looking at you – you finally figured it out. Just a fleeting thought and an answer to an unspoken question you had been failing to grasp at since yesterday; it escaped your lips before you could stop yourself.

“Gosh, you look like a Disney prince!”

Steve’s eyes went comically wide, laughter erupting from his throat and he pulled you to him in one swift motion, falling on his ass with you in his arms in the process and nearly getting crushed by you. Clearly, he did not care one bit as he shook with laughter, kissing your nose, your cheeks and finally your lips despite your protests that you were gross.

“That’s golden! Oh babygirl, you’re the-”

“Tell me I’m Cinderella, I dare you,” you grumbled, but Steve just shook his head and kissed you breathless, fingers of one hand curled around your nape to guide you closer, to breathe you in, while his other hand stayed wrapped around your waist.

You tried your best not to touch him with your gloved hand, having it ridiculously stretched out to nowhere in order not to spot his clothes, but your free hand clutched at his t-shirt with enthusiasm.

His lips left yours only when the world started spinning and your mind turned blank besides the thought of Steve’s mouth being on yours and how much you loved it when he stole all the breath from your lungs – and how much you always missed him when he withdrew.

You stared at him, dumbstruck, as he watched you like you were the eighth wonder of the world, your messy self in baggy clothes, your heart growing three times its size, your insides positively tingly from the heated make-out session.

Steve was smiling again too at last, brushing your nose with his and planting one last soft kiss on your lips.

“Okay, babygirl, now hand over the brush.”

You had to blink several times, your oh so lazy brain taking its time to realize what he said. Huh? Also, did he just said it as if he was asking you were a robber holding a hostage on gunpoint and he was asking you to lay down your weapon?

The thought made you internally snort.

“Why?” you demanded, suspicious.

“Because I’m taking over.”

You instantly shook your head. “No-“

“Yes. I promise I’ll make sure it’s spotless-“

Okay, yeah, that was one of our arguments against him doing the clean-up. However, there was one more. “But you still have papers to grade and lessons to prepare!”

“And you want to cook too and then we’ll have to clean up the kitchen. And you’ll want to take a shower and and and. Papers can wait. Gimme the brush.”

“You make it sound like it’s a weapon of mass destruction… or I am,” you muttered, but you kissed his cheek – such a strange feeling, you truly missed the sensation of his beard scraping your lips – and climbed out of his lap with a meek and cautious thank you. He cackled at your antics, but quickly fished out a new pair of gloves from the bathroom drawer and started working.

You swallowed your smart remark about him being the Cinderella now. Mostly because his gesture was one of the sweetest things and really – seeing Steve scrubbing the bathtub might not be the sexiest thing in the world… but it kinda was.

It pulled at your heartstrings as you imagined that this might be how it would always be; you and Steve, settling together, taking care of the household, then cuddling on the couch—the domesticity you hadn’t always been sure you craved.

Now you were certain of it; but to get to that, you had to survive your parents’ visit first.  

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You had somewhat stayed in touch with your parents, mostly with your mum; you two had been calling on a so-so regular basis, sometimes with video, and both her and your father were obviously aware that you had a boyfriend (gee, that sounded kinda trivial, a boyfriend). In fact, Steve played a huge role in them deciding to purchase their plane tickets… besides wanting to see New York City… and you.

The thing was… you had managed to keep Steve’s identity secret so far; you never used a videocall when he was around, so your mum only had heard his voice, sweet and polite in the most Steve fashion possible, you sort-of danced around his age and his job. Yeah, you found it strange as well that you kept it up so long, a divine intervention even; or maybe your mum simply had a good idea of your dirty secret all along and purposely didn’t probe.

Now, with your parents in the apartment, your dad’s eyes more on Steve than on you (your mum’s eyes wandered too, you noticed, but she had enough decency to show you she missed you first), you felt dread fill every cell in your body. Your heart was pounding in your chest with too much ferocity, your temples pulsing, your palms uncharacteristically sweaty and if it wasn’t for Steve’s warm hand on your lower back, its weight oh so comforting, you might spontaneously combust because of your nerves.

You were suddenly entirely grateful that Steve had shaved off his beard, was giving less of a an incredibly hot (and still very young, thank you very much) professor vibe and looked--- well, kinda like he could be your classmate.

But of course, of course the subject came up. Inevitably, after the small talk about your parents’ flight, about how their job was going and if they picked up a new hobby (…or heard some gossip), you and Steve became the centre of attention.

First, things went smoothly enough; you talked a bit about school, about Penny and some of your classmates and professors, about your part-time job. Steve had been subtly drawing small comforting circles on your thigh whenever he wasn’t eating and he in fact succeeded in lowering your heartbeat so much that you might appear even calm.

And then it oh so predictably went to shit.

Because apparently, your materialistic father had to ask Steve what he was studying and what his plan for his future career was.

“I actually finished my studies,” Steve admitted in an admirably dispassionate manner.

Meanwhile, your own heart started racing again, sending you to the verge of a cardiac arrest; your father’s eyes narrowed slightly, but a hint of a smile played in the corners of his lips in effort to remain polite… for now.

“Oh? Was that recently?”

You deflected that question by bringing up the pie and snatching Steve with you to bring it to the table since you two were the hosts.

The question forgotten, your mum – god bless her, she had caught up enough to know you did not want to discuss Steve’s age, even if it wasn’t that bad – asked about Steve’s field of study.

“History, minoring in pedagogics.”

“Oh? So you are a history teacher?” your dad chimed in and you swallowed as Steve confirmed that claim, walking straight into a death trap. You had seen it coming, you had, but you still winced when your father’s icy tone cut the almost festive atmosphere. “And it wouldn’t be that you’re more of a university professor, would it?”

His hand balled into a fist on the table, your mother’s lightly covering it as she whispered his name; the gesture of comfort, a silent plea for him to stay calm, didn’t quite work.

Steve, to his benefit, looked only a bit sheepish, meeting your dad’s eye with bravery worth of the Disney prince you had called him earlier that day. Also, with the same honesty… why hadn’t you agreed on lying to them again?

“It would, sir.”

“Oh. I don’t suppose then that it is a coincidence that you two met in school?” your dad continued and you sighed, your breathing progressively turning into a more and more of a difficult task with the anticipation of a storm.

“It is not, sir,” Steve replied calmly and you honestly didn’t know whether you should kiss him or punch him, unsure if his attitude made your father madder or not. “However-“

Your father’s gaze snapped to you, sharp and enraged; you felt yourself sink into your chair involuntarily, your mind travelling years back to the moments when he wasn’t pleased with you at all, yelled and sputtered words tasting of venom.

“Do you have any explanation for this inappropriate joke?” you father hissed, not caring he interrupted whatever Steve was about to say to your defence.

Your chest grew heavy, edges of your vision blurring subtly; your eyes burned and suddenly, you weren’t only remembering. You were reliving a memory, feeling like your child-self, like your teenage-self, being scolded for every imperfection; and there had been generous amount of those as you had been growing up.

Steve’s hand somehow slid under the table again, squeezing yours, a gentle wave of attempted comfort washing over you.

But it took one glance at him and you understood that silent support was not the only goal of his when he sought your touch.

His jaw was set tight, his grip a little too strong; he was trying to maintain composure, while not at all impressed with the tone your father was speaking with you.

Yet, Steve’s gesture did provide you with something you hadn’t had whenever you faced your father before; strength and true support, the essential reminder that you had done nothing wrong.

“Dad, this is not a joke,” you said, your voice shaking only slightly as you squeezed Steve’s hand back, “Steve and I are dating. Yes, he is teaching at the same college I study, but-“

A fist hit the table, causing the remaining tableware clank with the force behind the blow and you winced in fright, all muscles tensing in an instant.

“There is no ‘but’ applicable in this case!” your father spitted out, the anger in his voice making your guts twist, the sting in your eyes intensifying. “We help you to pay for school so you could study, not sleep around!”

Several things happened at once; your mother admonished your father, a level-headed whisper of his name. Your voice, too quiet as always when your father reprimanded you, tried to protest, to defend yourself.  And Steve’s patience ran out, his outrage at your father’s demeanour showing.

“Paul-“

“That’s not what’s-“

“Don’t talk to her like that!“

“You keep your mouth shut now,” you father snapped at Steve, pointing a finger at him accusingly before turning his rage towards you again, the deep disappointment in his eyes somehow more hurtful than the anger. “Is it that bad with your grades that you have to—to--- Jesus Christ.“

The world stopped for several frantic beats of your heart, everything else in standstill. Multiple sharp breaths were drawn in, but you didn’t think either of them was yours.

Your father’s unfinished sentence echoed in your ears as if from a terrible distance and just like that—just like that, you were thrown several months back to the days before your graduation.

Rogers’ whore

Bet she’ll get the highest score

The icy feeling that froze your bones and crystalized the blood in your veins made for a stark contrast to the few hot tears you were distantly aware of that were running down your cheeks.

Many had thought of you that you were a set of holes to fill for the professor in exchange for passing an exam or two, which was disgusting, deeply insulting and obviously wrong. But those people didn’t know you- they weren’t your blood.

Your own father was now seconds from calling you a whore. The dinner turned into a stone in your stomach as the verbal punch knocked all air from your lungs.

“Paul!” you heard a swift reproach, quickly followed by Steve’s voice, dangerously low in a threat. “I’m sorry, what did you just imply about her?”

“You zip it-“

“Paul!”

It felt like a fucking elephant stomped on your chest, the spiral of pity and despair, mocking voices swirling wildly, tossing you around with a quickening speed as the circles got smaller and smaller, as if you were circling down the drain, your breaths coming shorter and shorter too-

And yet your father still continued, ignorant to all warnings and your inner turmoil.

“That’s over, my dear. I refuse to support such disgusting thing. And you, I don’t see how it’s possible that you still have your job-“

“DAD!” a loud cry cut off the monologue and it took you a moment to realize that it was you who just snapped and yelled, despite the unmistakable addressing.

Your father stared at you in mute shock as you dared to interrupt him; and frankly, with the world spinning, your stomach twisted and your chest constricted with anxiety, you were shocked by your actions too.

It was the fact that he doubted Steve’s position at the uni, flashed through your mind, the way he insulted the man you loved and who deserved all the good things. Or maybe it was his fucking attitude towards Steve and you in general and you just finally reached your limit. You weren’t sure; but shit, this ended now.

The silence that fell on the room granted you a few moments to breathe and calm your frantic mind.

“He is not using me like some f-“ -fuckdoll- “-fling or whatever. And he’s not even my professor, he’s-“

“Like it matters!” you father snapped from his trance, spitting the words, a vein on his temple visibly popping up as he rose to his feet swiftly, nearly sending the chair flying to the ground.

You stared up at him, the coil of despair and rage in your gut burning hot as he literally looked down on you.

You hadn’t been ready for this. You hadn’t been ready for your father to despise you for being in a relationship with a great man, to judge you so harshly without being able to listen for a damn second.

“It DOES. But even if he was-“ you tried to explain again, losing patience and the ground under your feet too as Steve’s hand started practically crushing the bones of yours.

You could physically feel Steve trying to hold back and slowly succumb to his not so nice emotions no doubt swirling in him just like in you.

“How can you not see that’s he’s only looking to get his---” your father gestured wildly towards Steve and rather low and you could hear Steve’s teeth grinding at the implication. Your blood reached the boiling point. How dared he to- “-that he’s only seeking a physical thing-“

“That’s not what this is. I love your daughter-“ Steve emphasized, expression fiery, voice surprisingly measured for a man who you believed was one moment from punching your father.

“Sure you do, son, until something with long legs and tall heels walks by-“

Steve’s chair scrapped against the floor and you quickly laid a palm over his chest to stop him from jumping to his feet and succumb to his righteous anger.

“Steve-“ you whispered soothingly, seeing the light tremble to his hands, tendons dancing under his shirt with the effort to hold back.

“Paul, that’s enough,” your mother interjected, grabbing her husband’s wrist to keep him back as well.

“I do love your daughter, I respect her and I fully intend-“

Steve closed his eyes as he inhaled shakily to compose himself. In the very back of your mind, you spared a single thought to what he was going to say before he shook his head and looked your father dead in the eye again.

“-I am serious about her and I want to and will be with her as long as she’ll have me.”

You had two full seconds to sink into the gentle sentiment behind his words, to cherish how much he did respect your choices and strangely, how he still doubted he could be enough for you, before your father scoffed dismissively.

“Well, I hope you are serious, because if she comes crawling back in few weeks, the door and the account will be closed.” He shot you one disdainful look that made your heart stop before twisting his arm from your mother’s hold and stepping away from the table. “We’re leaving.”

Your eyes slipped shut, a fresh wave of hot tears painting your cheeks, all strength leaving your body, darkness enveloping your mind.

He was cutting you off. He was going to disown you no doubt; that much of a disappointment you were to him.

Your own father hated you.

Dull ringing filled your ears, muffling your mother’s low voice.

“I’m so sorry for his behaviour.” She sounded truly regretful, her voice quivering a bit, you thought. “I’ll talk to him about what he said. Thank you for the dinner, baby. It was nice to meet you, Steve, truly.”

“You too, ma’am,” Steve responded firmly, his voice the only solid thing in the room. “I’ll—I’ll walk you out.”

“That’s not necessary, Steve. But thank you. I’ll call you, sweetheart.”

A low whisper about a promise fell from her lips next as she brushed your shoulder, but you couldn’t hope to understand what she was saying, the buzz of blood in your ears growing louder.

And then you knew she was gone along with your father. You knew because a warm hand touched yours, another gently wiping way the endless waterfall of your tears and then you were pulled to your feet and practically dragged to the couch in Steve’s protective embrace.

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You wouldn’t be able to tell how long you were drenching Steve’s shirt in tears, sobbing into his chest as he held you firmly and yet tenderly, whispering sweet nothings, words of comfort empty and yet so meaningful.

You couldn’t tell how long it took for the tremble subdue, for the sobs to turn into sniffles and then die out entirely.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so so sorry,” Steve whispered to your hair, caressing your scalp, your back the next, dropping a kiss to the top of your head.

“I know,” you creaked back, gripping the fabric of his shirt for one last time before you gathered your breath and courage to face him; you had to. You might be a mess, but it was vital that he heard you say this: “It’s not your fault.”

You withdrew slightly, meeting his eyes, so big and regretful, a bit watery as if he was the one crying. The corners of his lips, apparently having been turned down the whole time, twitched, his whole face twisting in a grimace; little sad, little defiant, but he didn’t protest even though you were certain that he wanted to.

Perhaps it was a testimony of how well you two fit, how your thoughts worked on the same wavelengths; you understood what he must have been thinking. If you were dating literally anybody else, this wouldn’t have happened.

So you had to assure him that you didn’t blame him; even if he did so himself. You didn’t have the energy to be angry with him for such thing. Mostly because that in a way, there was a tiny bit of truth in him thinking so.

“Don’t do that to yourself. I chose you. Yes, this relationship is on both of us… but we knew the risks and went for it anyway. And—it’s worth it, it’s just… fuck, this is so fucked up. I’m in such a mess now,” you whispered, your voice breaking as fresh tears burned in your eyes.

Steve’s fingers were quick to dry your cheeks, gently stroking, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“We are, babygirl. We’re in this together. What’s mine is yours,” Steve said, determined. You couldn’t find yourself sharing his optimism, but his eyes locked onto yours, serious as his words. “We’ll figure it out. Find ways of saving more. Hell, if it comes to that, I’ll try to find a job that pays better-”

Your palms landed on his chest, pushing away, putting some distance between you; his hand dropped from your face.

Say WHAT?

“Absolutely not!” you protested instantly, sobering from your despair and letting indignation take over, ignoring entirely the voice in your head sweetly nudging you with the idea of what Steve was willing to give up for you. “I’ll drop off college before I let you give up being a professor, Steve-- you are made-“

“Not an option, sweetheart,” he shot back instantly, expression turning strict. “You leaving college is off the table.”

Mentally, you threw your hands up in the air, growing confused and frustrated by the minute.

“Why? How is that different from you finding a new job, giving up something you worked for so hard?”

“The difference is,” Steve raised his voice slightly, speaking slowly as if he wanted you to remember every word, “-that the chances are that I could come back at some point, that I might only lose a few years. You dropping off, on the other hand, would affect your whole future.”

The same exasperation you felt burned in his eyes now and you gulped, realization hitting you that… yeah, okay, that was a good point. But you hated it anyway.

“…okay, that’s a fair point. But I rather work three jobs and didn’t sleep at all than seeing you leave the university.”

“And work yourself to the ground? I don’t think so, babygirl,” Steve shook his head, just a smidge of patronizing which stung more than you would expect.

Obviously, he was presenting you with more of a feasible option, but you had a feeling that the primal instinct to be the provider played a role in his attitude too – and at any given moment besides this one you would like that; you were completely fine with him wanting to ensure you were secured, taking the larger portion of the burden on his shoulders.

Except now it reminded you of your father in the worst possible way despite knowing that the sentiment was nothing but sweet, no malice in his intentions. It chased tears into your eyes.

Steve’s expression instantly melted, panic flashing in his eyes as he must have figured out that this was not the right thing to say… or not the right way.

His hands were quick to frame you face, tender but unwavering, forcing you to look him straight in the eye.

“Hey, hey, no. It’s just… we’ll work it out, somehow, okay? We can even move out and share an apartment with someone else if we need to. Though you’re forgetting I used to pay this rent and bills on my own.”

Your lower lip quivered, your heart fluttering in fondness for this incredible man, your chest constricted at the idea of taking anything away from him, even if it was comfort. God, the distance he was willing to walk…

“You were living on school cafeteria food and ramen,” you mumbled, corners of your lips twitching upwards for the shortest moment.

Steve’s smile, on the other hand, was almost blinding, tight-lipped but honest, thumbs sweeping at the tears that appeared yet again.

“See, another possibility to save money. Don’t cry, my pretty girl…” he pleaded lowly, kissing your nose before shaking his head lightly. “Or cry if you need to. I’m here, sweetheart, okay? Whatever you need.”

Shit, your heart couldn’t hope to contain this amount of love-

How could anyone ever doubt Steve was the right man for you? The best man? The most wonderful loving human being? How did your father think he was just looking for a mindless fuck?

“I love you,” you whispered hoarsely, smiling through your tears. “Fuck my father. He can’t bully me into being his perfect daughter by cutting me off, can’t make me behave. There’s nothing wrong with me loving you.”

“Or me loving you.”

There was no questioning his honesty; it was written all over his features, his irises bright with emotion. And yet, you worried your teeth over your lower lip, insecurity, your old friend, crawling into your head.

“You do, really? Even with my asshole of a dad?”

You didn’t mean it. Entirely. Though momentarily, your dad was being an asshole, not for the first time.

“Yeah, sweetheart. You’re my everything,” Steve promised, releasing your face in order to tuck messy loose strands of your hair behind your ears.

“That’s the sweetest thing to say, but you can’t exactly sell me to put food to your mouth-“ Oh. Even though… maybe that would be an option? “Well, technically-“

All the gentle warmth radiating from Steve’s expression turned ice cold, smile dropping so fast it startled you.

“Don’t you even-“

“Hey, why not, I mean how much do you think-“

“Stop that right now!” Steve’s voice cut you off, razor sharp voice as if cutting into your skin.

You flinched at the mental blow on instinct, air stuck in your throat, muscles in your back straightening enough to inflict a sharp pounding in your head.

Steve closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling painstakingly slow, as if he got punched in his gut too. His fists on your sides clenched and unclenched, Adam’s apple bobbing. When he looked at you again, it was obvious he realized he had scared you – and that he regretted not keeping his anger in check.

“I’m sorry, babygirl, I didn’t mean for it to come out this harsh.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, focusing on nothing but your breathing and keeping yourself from sobbing again as you were reminded of your father’s yelling. With each long second, you could see Steve’s face twisting and his body sinking into the couch in shame.

Well. As much as you hated him snapping at you, you had to give it to him – it sobered you up. Frankly, you didn’t blame him for being so harsh.

But you were also aware that Steve was a painfully kind and gentle soul and he never wanted to be rough with you… well, except under certain very consensual special circumstances.

“I know,” you forced an unconvincing smile, laying your palm on his cheek, affection Steve was quick to lean into with a sigh – probably both relieved and content. “I’m sorry for talking stupid.”

He covered your hand with his, carefully manipulating it so he could brush his lips over your palm.

“You’re not, not really. Our heads are a mess, rightfully so. I know people still do that, some purely by choice, but—I don’t want that for you, ever. That’s the same level on a will-never-happen scale like you not continuing your masters. Not an option for me. You’re my girl and if someone’s gonna change their habits, it’s gonna be me first.”

The surge of affection at his words filled your stomach with butterflies, wrapping around you like the softest and warmest comforter.

Great, now you wanted to cry for a whole different reason.

“I don’t deserve you,” spilled from your lips before you could think twice. Steve’s sweet smile made its return.

“Other way around, babygirl. Other way around…. Now how does a bath and a bed sound?”

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Steve hadn’t planned on you and him having a bath when making the suggestion. He found a bath-bomb even and few candles so the light wouldn’t have to be on and hurt your previously teary eyes.

But then you looked at him with wide eyes, pleading and so vulnerable, a single look so heartfelt that it would make the devil’s black heart break and the angels weep – and he was done for, sinking into the bath with you even if the bathtub was not meant for more than one person, especially when one of them was of Steve’s built.

He couldn’t tell you no. Less so after the shitstorm the dinner had turned into.

Yes, Steve’s own emotions were running high, anger, disappointment and self-hatred he knew he couldn’t confess to, certainly not at the moment, but you. You were the priority here because he had a feeling that no matter how overwhelmed he felt, he had nothing on you.

The ceramics of the tub was hard against his back and against his knees at the side, but you fit into his arms and between his legs so perfectly and contentedly that he wouldn’t dare to complain. Head in the crook of his neck, your back to his chest, you melted into him, eyes closed, fingers absently and yet affectionately running over his forearms above water, sometimes along his calves.

You didn’t talk much, mostly repeating that it wasn’t his fault, that you loved him – something he found himself echoing every time – and it slipped through your lips too that while you would never change the fact that you picked him… you were sorry for being a disappointment to your father.

At that, something in Steve’s chest cracked and he swore to himself – that he would never ever be the cause of you feeling like a disappointment. And why would he – you were his perfect girl, his best girl. As much as he regretted that he indirectly did have a hand in making you feel like this now, he wouldn’t change who you were to each other and who you were had he had the chance. Never.

What he could do was to hold you tighter after your admission and whisper more sweet nonsense that made perfect sense to him to your ear.

By the time the water got cold, you were practically asleep, completely groggy, pliant. Somehow, you both climbed from the tub without sustaining any injury. He might have been holding you upright a bit as you both brushed your teeth and pulled on a pyjama.

You fell asleep almost instantly, face hidden in Steve’s chest, few stray tears dampening his sleepshirt as you mumbled one more love confession into the fabric.

“I love you, Steve... I’m sorry… you have to put up with such bullshit…” Your words slurred but Steve didn’t need to hear them to understand what you were saying.

He dropped a kiss to the top of your head, pulling you closer to his side, ignoring the sting of guilt in his gut.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he whispered, earning a hum that might have been a sign of contentment… or you being entirely drained. “Let’s go to sleep now. Clearer head in the morning.”

Another hum and then nothing but your deep slow breathing, the last remnants of tension leaving your body.

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Steve didn’t think he would follow you to the dreamland anytime soon, too agitated, thoughts swirling wildly in his head, but he caught himself snapping back to consciousness at some point, unsure when he fell asleep – and what woke him up.

An intrusive buzzing on your nightstand provided him with the answer, your phone lit up.

Steve spared you one glance as you stirred only to nuzzle deeper into his frame, sighing.

As carefully as he could so he wouldn’t wake you, he stretched over you and checked who was calling.

Blood crystalized in his veins, heart sent into frenzy as he read a simple short word.

Mom.

He squeezed the side button, silencing the vibration as he pondered what to do; and yet, even as his heart jumped to his throat – as if he was a teenager about to face his girlfriend’s parents after he took her virginity – he had already made a decision, accepting the call as you sank into the cushions without him as a pillow.

He slipped from the room as silently and quickly as possible, announcing himself before you mother could say something not meant for his ears.

“Oh. Hello, Steve,” your mother greeted him, clearly surprised – but much to Steve’s relief, not angry.

He could do this, he could talk to your mother even with the lump in his throat; could have been much worse. Could have been your father and Steve wasn’t so sure if he would manage him. For one, he would hate to be reminded, once again, of what the numerous hate letters had told him about being a total perv; for two, Steve feared he might exchange words with your father that couldn’t have been taken back and would seal the damage done to the relationship with your parents .

“I’m sorry, ma’am. She fell asleep and—I can wake her, of course, but-“ He stumbled over his words and was immensely grateful when your mother saved him from his misery; more se when she said what she did.

“-but she had a rough night. We all did. I’m okay to talk to you, Steve.”

“Alright… how can I help, ma’am?”

“Tell me how bad she is, Steve? She stopped crying before she falling asleep?” the woman on the other side asked softly, causing Steve’s heart to squeeze in a painful memory of his own kind mother, God bless her soul.

And perhaps it was that very memory that encouraged him to speak openly, the genuine worry of a mother who cared deeply for her child, her heart full of love.

How such woman could end up with such an asshole and stay with him was beyond Steve’s understanding, but he certainly wasn’t in position to judge the choices of the women in your family – after all, he was your choice and there was a long line of people who looked at the two with disdain.

“For a while,” Steve admitted with a sigh, his gaze automatically flickering towards the bedroom. “She’s—she feels like she disappointed you in a way, she’s scared of the what’s next, but she’s angry too, because she doesn’t think she did anything wrong by being with me.”

And Steve thought the same… to a point. Didn’t matter that sometimes he would find himself in a dark place where he simply awaited the moment you’d change your mind and left him; for someone your age, with better looks, someone smarted, someone funnier, someone who didn’t have to shave off his beard just so your parents made it through the front door without yelling.

Such gloomy images always left him more desperate than he was comfortable admitting and with searing jealousy in his gut.

He needed you. Yes, he’d survive if you left – but he was certain that you’d take his heart with him, leaving him unable to fall in love ever again… or to feel whole, for that matter.

“She wouldn’t leave you to get her financial support back, Steve,” sounded gently on the other end of the line and Steve’s heart skipped a beat in alarm, brief wonder if he had said any of his latest thoughts out loud.

He supposed he didn’t – your mother was just too intuitive, just like his used to be. He gulped against his dry throat, suddenly guilty for – in a way – forcing you to leave them.

“…I suppose not… I’m sorry if-- it was never my intention to steal your daughter from you, but I’m- I’m not gonna pretend I mind that she would rather be with me than had her money.”

“This is not your doing, Steve, don’t you think I don’t know that,” she continued, a subtle smile in her voice, Steve thought. “And it’s good that she’s willing to make this choice. We wouldn’t want the bride to get cold feet, after all.”

Steve’s heart stopped altogether, he was sure of it. Colour him mortified.

How the hell—but- she couldn’t--- he hadn’t proposed yet and he- what?

His stomach twisted in a tight knot. He couldn’t but ask, voice barely above whisper.

“…how did you know?”

“You stopped yourself mid-sentence, Steve. And as cliché as it sounds, you had fire in your eyes, defending my daughter. It is clear to me that you are serious about her, that you love her, and from the little I heard about you, you are the kind of man who would put a ring on it to seal the deal.”

You mother was definitely smiling now and Steve found himself doing the same, even if the lift of his lips turned sour.

“I would have asked for parents’ blessings, but…”

“I give it,” she was quick to assure him and Steve’s breath hitched, his chest puffing with pride, filling with endless relief and joy. Your mother approved of him. Even knowing who he was, how old he was, how—she was willing to give him her blessing! “You seem like a good man, Steve.”

Steve was both embarrassed and ridiculously proud when he realized he was blinking against tears gathering in his eyes, enormous weight falling from his shoulders.

“That, uhm—that means a lot, truly,” he choked out, swiftly clearing his throat, the embarrassment definitely winning now. He had to get it together before he gave out how weak he could be in front of your mother… she had given her blessing; she could easily take it back.

“I like you, Steve. You’re a good blend of an old-fashioned and modern man. Don’t mess it up and keep my daughter happy.”

“I will try my best, ma’am,” he declared in an instant, meaning every word.

A sigh sounded from the speaker. “That’s all I ask for… now the less happy reason to call. I talked to Paul, but he… I’m sorry, Steve, as for now, he still isn’t fond of you.” That didn’t surprise Steve, but it hurt nonetheless. Then again, he was grateful that your mother tried to put in a good word for him; that meant a lot too. “He only agreed to pay for three more months.”

Steve’s free hand balled into fist, the other clutching the phone considerably tighter as hot surge of anger flooded his veins.

Three more payments. As if the relationship with your family was a damn job contract and this was the notice period.

Steve was sure he was going to be sick.

“Thank you. That’s… we appreciate it,” he managed to grit through his teeth, trying his damnest to remember that he wasn’t mad at the sweet woman – only at her husband.

“You really are a good man, Steve. You’re good for her. I’m glad she found you.”

Steve would once again be entirely joyful at being at least your mother’s favour, but he heard you call out his name from the bedroom, low, hoarse and utterly confused and all he could focus on was the idea of you, red-rimmed eyes and messy hair and still adorable, looking for him in the dark room with a pout to your lips.

“Steve?” your mother called out unsurely and Steve snapped from his reverie.

“Sorry, uhm, she’s awake-- do you want me to hand you over or-“ he blurted out swiftly, hoping the answer would be no as he couldn’t wait to crawl back to bed with you.

“No, just tell her I called. I believe you two have things to talk about. Take care of my daughter, Steve. I’ll be in touch.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Jane, Steve,” she offered kindly just as Steve heard the soft patting on your fluffy socks on the floor.

“Yes, Jane,” he corrected himself then, unable to contain the satisfaction as he tested the name on his tongue. “Thank you, really. Goodnight.”

He ended the call as you emerged from the bedroom, squinting to the low light, your eyes instantly finding him – he automatically smiled for you, unsubtly splaying his arms wide. You didn’t hesitate, aiming straight into his embrace even if it was at snail pace.

It was funny and strange and wonderful how Steve still loved simply holding you, his heart calmer the moment he found you melting into his frame. Christ, he loved you… and clearly, your mother noticed; he was so obvious, that-

“You were gone,” you muttered into his chest discontentedly, nuzzling into him and Steve automatically cradled you to him tighter.

“Sorry, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” you admitted bluntly, propping your chin on his torso to look up at him, eyes growing wide and surprisingly soft with emotion. “More so because I was talking stupid and crying into your shirt instead of comforting you after my dad accused you of the things that--- those things that aren’t right.”

Steve felt the painful nudge to his consciousness, because he knew there always would be some truth to ‘those’ words; but you were here to dilute the pain and make it all better. Your care for his well-being served like a shield for the sticks and stones for now at least, when you were the priority. You had it worse at the moment, no matter what his former colleague had accused him of in those hate letters – and now your father.

“Hey, no. Don’t worry about me now.”

You gazed into his eyes, pushing on your tiptoes to peck his lips and the small gesture of affection was like a balm to his soul, much like your words.

“But I do. Always. I love you, Steve… I’m sorry we can’t catch a break… but we’ll… somehow, we’ll push through, right?” you whispered, hopeful and wistfully determined and Steve could only nod, feeling the corners of his lips rising.

“Absolutely, sweetheart. You’re my girl.”

“And you’re my guy. My prince charming,” you hummed, cradling his unusually smooth cheek, irises full of wonder, the sensation was as foreign to you as it was to him. But it was your babble that made him chuckle, the nickname that seemed to catch on; you were too cute for words. “Guess I am Cinderella after all and somehow you accidentally fell in love with me.”

“Damn right I did,” he confirmed, brushing your forehead with his lips before tugging you back to the bedroom. “Not all that glitters is gold.”

“True. Though you might have some glitter from the bathbomb on you.”

“Cheeky girl.”

He didn’t bother pretending to be offended or grumpy; he was simply too happy to see some of your snarky teasing side making its return, that was always a good sign.

“I try… but really, are you okay?”

Steve didn’t respond at first, climbing to the bed, manoeuvring you to his arms where you belonged and fit so naturally. Only when the lights were out and you were both comfortable, he replied, truthfully.

“I will be. I have you. Plus, your mum seems to be okay with me.”

More than okay, apparently.

Steve’s heart fluttered with a bit of nerves as his mind wandered to the ring he kept in the very room you fell asleep every night.

“As she should,” you hummed, sounding very pleased. “She has a nose for good people. And you’re the best.”

“After you at least.”

“Best man, then,” you argued playfully and Steve was perfectly content to have you think that. It would play in his favour when he would finally find the courage to sink to one knee in front of you.

“Well, I’m certainly a lucky one… I have the best woman.”

“Uh-huh. Sure you do. Love you,” you whispered, kissing his chest over the fabric of his sleepshirt and sighing blissfully. “Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you too.”

If you only knew how much…

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

S.R.masterlist

Attached masterlist

Stockings (next in timeline)

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Wink wink. I once again stretched this quite a bit, but hopefully you reached this very end without skipping something ;)

Thank you for reading and extra thanks if you happen to like, reblog and/or comment. Stay safe and happy!

(Also, to American friends: I hope you'll have better Thanksgiving than this ;) )

[atlafan]

The Boys Next Door

a/n: I have no idea where this came from. enjoy some smut and some other college!Harry. 

You lived in a college town, and your parents were landlords for many college students. They owned a few different properties along one of the street close to campus. You were twenty-one and going into your senior year. You didn’t mind going to school where you grew up. You went somewhere else your first year, just to get out of town for a while, but eventually coming home was the best choice. Plus, you got to live off campus in one of your parent’s apartments with your friends. You were having a great time.

They wanted to go on vacation, do a little traveling this summer, so they put you in charge of one of their smaller properties. The home you were in this summer was converted into two apartments, side by side. Your parents had someone else to run the larger properties, but they had a great deal of trust in you. You happily accepted, especially since you could take a cut of the rent as pay. You also weren’t too upset because the boys moving in next door were really cute. Soon to be seniors as well. They were international students, and as much as they liked going home, they were still college students. It was easier to save up the airfare for the holidays, rather than to fly home for the summer.

You’d be in your apartment alone. Your friends all had to go home to their families and jobs, not that you minded. You loved being crazy with them, but the alone time would be great. You put the keys to the other apartment outside under the mat, and emailed them to let them know. You also left instructions on rules for living there. Your parents weren’t in the business of dealing with idiots.

It was a beautiful day out, so you decide to set up the small inflatable pool out back, and throw on a two piece to sunbathe in. You get your lawn chair, put some sunscreen on, and dip your feet into the pool. You crack a hard seltzer open and throw your shades on. You sigh with happiness and relaxation.

The boys, Harry Styles, Niall Horan, and Louis Tomlinson, all show up to the apartment. They find the keys and head inside. They get all their things moved in and wheel their grill out back. There was no fence between the two sides, but it was still clear that it wasn’t an overly shared space.

“Oh shit!” Niall says, pointing to you. “Is that our landlord?”

“I think so.” Louis says.

“We should go introduce ourselves then.” Harry says. “After all, she could be hungry for somethin’ off the grill.”

The three walk over to you. You had your headphones in and you had fallen asleep.

“Excuse us.” Louis says. You don’t move. “Think she’s asleep…”

Harry rolls his eyes and nudges your shoulder.

“Huh?!” Your eyes snap open and you flinch when you see three very good looking men standing above you. “Um…can I help you?” You stand up and look for your cover up, but you never brought it out. Your two piece was strapless, and a little revealing.

“Sorry to wake yeh, I’m Harry.” You shake his hand. “This is Niall and Louis, we’re your tenants.”

“Oh!” You laugh. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you guys. I’ve seen you around though, you’re all on the soccer team, right?”

“That’s right.” Niall says.

“We were just about to fire up the grill, wanna join?” Louis asks.

“Sure! I actually have some fresh lemonade in the fridge inside, I’ll bring it over.”

“Sounds good.” Harry says.

They go back over to the grill and you go inside. You grab a large t-shirt to throw on, and the jug of lemonade out of the fridge. You grab some solo cups as well, and you head over to their side.

“I don’t wanna be a Debby Downer, but my parents wanted me to remind you guys that you’re getting a discounted rate because you agreed to mow the lawn, and shovel once winter comes. Everything you need is in the shed.” You point to it. “The keys for it are inside a combination box. The combo’s on the paper I left in the kitchen.”

“Thanks, yeah, we found that. No worries, the lawn will look perfect.” Niall assures you and you smile at him.

“Any other official business? I’d like to add some vodka to this lemonade.” Harry says, shaking the cold bottle in his hand.

“Nope, that’s it for now. Please, make the drinks.” You say.

“What can I make yeh, love?” Louis asks.

“I’d love a cheeseburger, please and thank you.” He nods to you and Harry hands you your drink. “Thanks.”

“So, you’re all alone in there this summer?” Niall asks.

“Mhm. My friends will come up for a weekend here and there, but I don’t mind it. This is my favorite apartment of the ones my parents own, I’m excited to be alone in it for a bit.”

“Well, if you ever get lonely, just give us a call.” Harry winks and you blush as you bite the rim of your cup.

You all enjoy mini BBQ and get to know each other more. You all talk about your majors and how excited you all were to be seniors.

“We’re gonna head down to the pub later if you’d like to join us.” Niall says.

“That sounds great!”

“What’s your number, we can text you when we’re ready.” Harry says. You hand him your phone and he puts his number in.

You head into your apartment to shower and wash all the sunscreen off. You throw on a crop top and pair of shorts, and do your make up. Harry texts you when it’s time, and you walk downtown with them to the bar. You all find a booth, and he happens to be the one to sit next to you. Niall grabs the first round of beers.

“What do I owe you?”

“As if I would ever make a girl pay for her drinks.” Niall scoffs. “You don’t ever have to worry about that with us, Y/N.”

“Oh! That’s really nice of you.”

You all clink your glasses, and take a swig of your drinks. They ask you questions about what it was like growing up in the area, and you talk about what’s changed and what’s stayed the same. Eventually, you get a pretty good buzz going, and it makes you want to dance to the music playing. There were plenty of people out on the dance floor already.

“Do you guys wanna dance?”

“Sure!” They all say at the same time.

The four of you make your way to the dance floor, and you start dancing. You all giggle and have a great time. You got a little more drunk than you thought, and it hit you like a ton of bricks when you left the bar at closing.

“I’ll never understand how these places close at one in the morning. We’d just be gettin’ started back home.” Louis laughs.

Harry looks at you and sees you sort of struggling to walk.

“Want a piggy back ride?” He offers.

“Seriously?” You slur.

“Sure, come on.”

You hope onto his back and you giggle as your eyes start to droop. Yup, way too drunk.

“M’just gonna get her settled, I’ll be home in a minute.” He tells the two of them as he takes your key.

“My room’s upstairs.” You mumble and he hums his response. He pushes the door open and sets you down on your bed.

“Thanks.” You smile at him. “Tonight was fun. This’ll be a great summer.” You yawn.

“Yeah, it will be.”

Harry goes down to your kitchen to get you a glass of water. When he returns you’re passed out on your stomach. He leaves the water on your nightstand, and heads out. Niall and Louis were on the couch, eating some cold pizza, when he got back.

“She alright?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, passed out already. I left her some water.” Harry grabs a slice of pizza and sits down with them. “She’s cute, I like her.” He says with a full mouth.

“You should ask her out then.” Niall says. “She’s a lot of fun so far.”

“Too soon for that. I need to play it cool.”

“You’re too shy for your own good.” Louis says.

//

You spend a lot of time with the guys over the next couple of weeks. You go out with them to the bar quite a bit, and you all share many meals. Your favorite thing to do was happen to be outside when Harry mowed the lawn. He would do it shirtless, and he loved when you’d bring him out something cold to drink. You also liked watching them get into little games of soccer.

Sometimes at night you would go over there and watch them play video games, or maybe they’d come over to watch a movie. You found yourself to have gotten the closest with Harry.

Harry: too hot in my room…2:02AM

You: no fan? 2:10AM

Harry: it broke :( 2:12AM

You: I have ac…2:13AM

Harry: is that an invitation? ;p 2:14AM

You: if you want it to be ;p 2:15AM

You slip out of bed, and stop to look at yourself in the mirror. You usually slept naked…you sigh and throw on a large bed shirt, but that’s it. It covered everything just fine. You go downstairs and open the back door for Harry. He was only wearing shorts.

“Hi.” He smiles.

“Hi.” You smile back. “What are Niall and Louis doing?”

“Oh, both of their fans work just fine. I’ve been too lazy to go to the store, but I suppose suffering in sweat just isn’t worth it anymore.”

“Well, my room’s nice and cool, so come on up.”

You and Harry go up the stairs up to your room, and you close the door behind you.

“Oh my god.” He moans as he stands in front of the A/C. “Now this is livin’.” You can’t help but giggle at him. He watches as you reach into your dresser for a pair of shorts. You wiggle them up your body. “Were you not wearin’ anything under that before?”

“Nope.” You grin and sit on your bed. You pat the spot next to you.

“I can just sleep on the floor…”

“Don’t be silly, bed’s plenty big for the both of us.”

He nods and gets on with you. You both lay and face each other.

“Comfy.” He says.

“Mhm.” You push some hair away from his face. “You have nicest hair, have I ever told you that?”

“No. In fact, you could stand to compliment me a lot more.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm. It’s the least you could do in exchange for all the free alcohol we give yeh.”

“Very true, okay, well, I also like your tattoos.” Your fingertips lightly graze his arm.

“You do?”

“Yeah, they’re cool.”

“What else do you like about me?” His leg gentle slides between yours.

“You have a great sense of humor, and you’re just really nice.”

“You’re nice too, and you’re really pretty.” Your cheeks flush, you were thankful it was dark. His leg inches up a little further between yours. “Sexy, actually.”

“God, I think you’re hot as fuck, Harry.”

“You do?”

“Mhm.” You adjust yourself on his leg, and move closer to him, your faces only inches apart now.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

He cups your cheek and pulls you into him, his mouth slotting over yours. Your eyes flutter closed as you sink further into the kiss. You open your mouth for him and he doesn’t waste any time getting his tongue on yours. You groan against him, and grind yourself on his thigh.

“I wanna fuck you so bad.” He groans.

“Okay.”

“What?” He pulls away. “Really? Just like that?”

“Sure, why not? I want it, can’t you tell?”

“Sometimes it’s not about bein’ able to tell…you wanna have sex with me?”

“Yes, I do.” You turn and reach into your night table to grab a condom. You place it on top of the table for when you need it. “I’m on the pill too, but I think using a condom is for the best.”

“Agreed.”

He moves to hover over you, and starts kissing you again.

“How long, ngh, how long have you wanted to fuck me for?”

“Since we met.” He mumbles as he starts to suck on your neck.

“Fuck, why didn’t you?”

“I was tryin’ to play it cool.” He chuckles against you.

He motions to have you sit up to take your shirt off, and he marvels at your breasts. He cups both of them in his large hands. He tweaks your nipples and leans in to suck on one of them. Your head rolls back as he kneads the other one.

“Harry…I wanna, I want you to…”

“Need my mouth somewhere else, angel?”

“Please.”

He gets between your legs and tugs your shorts down. You were glistening. He licks his lips and dives in. He licks a flat stripe from your center up to your clit, and circles the tip of his tongue around you before sucking on it. You gasp when he does so, and your hands fly to his hair to grip on. Your hips buck up when you feel two of his fingers slip inside you. He pumps in and out as he continues to work your clit with his mouth. You were panting, your body had never felt so good before.

“Holy fuck! Oh my god, don’t stop, Harry!” You moan out.

He pumps fast, brushing your g-spot. It was all too much, and you release around his fingers. He retracts them sucks them into his mouth.

“Tastes even better than I thought it would.”

“Get the condom on, now.”

He smirks and grabs the foil packet. He gets it open with his teeth, slides his shorts down. His hard clock slaps against his stomach and your jaw drops.

“Oh my god.” You say under your breath. “Harry, you’re so…big.”

“I know.” He mumbles as he slides the condom down his shaft. “Don’t be nervous, I won’t hurt you.”

“M’not worried about that.”

He leans in and lines himself up with you and slowly pushes inside. Your head rolls back into the pillow as you feel him stretch you out. Your nails press into his shoulders. Once he’s all the way in he gives you some time to adjust.

“Alright?”

“Mhm, you can move.”

He starts with slow thrusts, rocking in and out of you. You can’t help the moans that leave your lips. You had never felt so good before. You wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer.

“Go harder, Harry. I want you to make the bed shake.”

“Fuck.” He groans, and does as you say.

He grips your legs and puts them over his shoulders. He thrusts in hard and fast, and the bed does start to shake. His thumb finds your clit, and he rubs it furiously.

“Fuck, oh fuck, that’s it, oh my god!” He had you screaming. “Harry!” You cry out as you come around his cock.

He fucks you through it and comes to his own release, spilling into the condom. He collapses on top of you, and you kiss his neck over and over. He pulls himself up and gives you a kiss on the lips before pulling out.

“Where’s your trash, angel?”

“In that corner, next to my desk.”

He hums his response and gets up to throw it out. He hears you get off the bed and turns to look at you.

“Just going to use the bathroom, get comfy.” You smile.

He gets back on your bed and waits for you. When you come back you don’t even both with a shirt.

“I like to sleep naked, that okay?”

“You don’t see me wearin’ anything do you?” He smirks.

You get on the bed and lay your head on his chest. He puts his arm around you and rubs your back.

“That was, uh, really something.”

“Felt good?”

“Really good.”

“You took it really well. You were so wet, felt good for me too.” He kisses your hair line.

“You can come here to beat the heat any time you want.”

[goblinconceivable]

braindump: betty/daniel

I’ve been living with them for a while, notes taken, a few stories significantly started but there’s a gelling issue, which I’m hoping is at least partially down to a lack of proper braindumping.  So, in no particular order and certainly not comprehensive:

Frankly I also got too hooked on the last 2 eps, which is likely where I’m blocked.  It’s an abrupt emotional twist for them (esp Daniel), and in trying to make sense of that I’m losing focus on the 4 previous years.

- I’m a little bit obsessed in the scene where Betty tries to convince Matt she’s fearless by pointing out her bang-less-ness.  And then runs into Daniel, who is at that moment half brain-washed, but yet when she asks about her fearless quotient his response is immediate and natural and entirely lacking in irony: “no bangs.”  It’s a tiny little moment that shows how well he not only knows her, but understands her.  Without judgment, without fanfare.  Were I to have a husband, this is the sort of response that would confirm I’d married the absolute perfect guy for me.

- They’re too close for mirroring to be an important indicator, but there are two scenes that stand out in this vein: the first is when Betty thinks he may have pushed Christina down the stares and steals the video.  She’s backing out the door, and he follows, matching her step for step.  I love the direction choices because from her perspective there’s a sense of menace, Daniel as potential villain is stalking her.  But from his guileless perspective he’s talking to her and if she’s moving, so is he.  The second is from the penultimate, talking about Trista, where Betty’s rolling back and forth and he moves with her, rather than simply turning his head.  It signals his full engagement in the conversation, seeking her attention, and is why the scene plays as flirting rather than their normal banter.

- That bulletpoint was getting a bit long, so second point on the flirting is that it plays against Betty shutting down the conversation “none of my business,” leading to the fight over involvement in each other’s personal lives, leading to the revelation that they know each other at that deep personal level so very, very well.  Which was a very clumsy leadup to Daniel’s revelation during Hilda’s wedding speech, that could have been handled so much more deftly but those last two eps were quite rushed, I don’t know when they found out about the shortened season but it feels like they’d planned for more space and had to jab in exposition.

- Becaaaaause: they narratively broke his ‘aha’ moment onto “know you better than you do” while the strength of the message is really in the “do anything to protect them.”  Which is, I believe, where they cut to his softened expression.  Not coincidentally, this is precisely what a lot of fan-readings of the characters focus on: Daniel will do anything to protect Betty.  Bobby might have said he’d throw himself under a bus for Hilda, but Daniel HAS done that for Betty- in fact literally doing so would probably have been easier than publicly shouldering the blame for the Tornado cover and giving away the profits.  Due to the fact that he had time to consider the consequences and did it anyway.

- Which is tidy segue into an admission that I’m flying mostly blind on the Molly arc because I basically skipped all her scenes, but it’s my understanding that Daniel doing this was a pivotal moment for them.  Ie, she was impressed that he did this thing.  I mean, I really appreciate that he spent the whole press conference scene looking for Betty, so the show in no way undercut their relationship.  But then they very clearly built the Molly relationship on the foundation of not only the man Daniel had become due to Betty, but choices he was making in large measure for Betty: it’s not that he saw Betty beaten down and resolved the situation: he was upset but lost, she yelled at him, and THEN he resolved the situation by taking the bullet.  Did I break grammar by ending up with two colon’d clauses in the same sentence?  It’s a braindump, ain’t gotta be pretty.  XP

- Quick sidebar that the same thing happens with Alexis.  She was expecting to come back to one brother, but then listens in on his pep talk with Betty and finds she’s returned to a different brother.  This may be where I got the “an assistant” phrasing, if so, my bad.  But basically, she was impressed with Daniel’s actions, not understanding that it was Betty specifically inspiring his actions.

- Follow that a step further and did Molly ever acknowledge how important Betty is to him?  Legit question.  I think her line here was about him doing it “for an assistant” (?) rather than even “his assistant,” establishing Betty as a non-entity for her.  (Quoting a summary but I think I’m in the ballpark.)  And I’m sure I’d have read about it somewhere if she brought Betty up during their discussion on who he’d date when she was dead.

- Just one last note on Molly, (okay it’s a multi-part though it veers off her as a character) but a possibly incorrect beef is that I hate the Daniel/Molly relationship because there’s no interesting or even real conflict?  It’s perfect?  I’m supposed to think this is magical “true love”?  Molly has apparently been engaged for years to a man she doesn’t really love (and um... that’s lazy not strong), and helps inspire a vengeance filled betrayal by her ex because she’s so awesome everyone loves her?  But she comes out squeaky clean because any emotional cheating on her part is balanced and thus “justified” by Connor falling for Wilhemina.  And then the only “conflict” is that she’s dying, and is perfect throughout it?  That’s...  weak.

-That poem thing WOULD have been an interesting point of conflict but it was resolved by Betty’s intervention, rather than within the relationship.  Which actually is an incredibly interesting beat.  The problem with that being it’s so entirely consistent with the role Betty plays in Daniel’s life that it’s treated as just another beat, as if it doesn’t MATTER that a fundamental moment of intimacy and growth of vulnerability in Daniel’s very important romantic relationship is a door opened by a third party.  There’s a strong argument to be made for something but I broke off to write the next point and now can’t remember what that strong argument is.  I might remember later.  It may have had something to do with Molly being a stepping stone in Daniel’s arc, but the cult-thing was so long and dominating that it didn’t work, it tied him too tightly for too long and coinciding with a loosening of his relationship with Betty there was flailing.

- Quick one: Daniel’s fast-forwarded and time-bounded relationship with Molly is the analog to Betty’s time-limited relationship with Henry.  Which is a discussion I would like Daniel and Betty to have.  Esp. noting that Betty and Henry had issues they worked through together (ice cream foreplay being one.)

- Player!  So going back to a happy place, when Betty’s on the phone trying to fix the apartment situation and the camera pans onto Daniel just leaning against the doorway: this may be a legitimate little moment of “squee!”  There’s so much denial in his laid back attitude at Player, but I still love watching how the informality of the environment reflects in the informality with Betty.  He gives her free reign, and there’s many answers to “why,” and I (almost) don’t want to go into them because I totally adore how this Daniel is basically a College!Daniel only he’s latched onto Betty, who, meanwhile, is just being Betty.  OMG how different his life would have been if he’d met Betty in college...

- Okay I actually don’t feel like going into whys, it’s just an arc to enjoy.  With a small mention of how he TOTALLY was playing with the MODE book and handed it to Betty knowing she’d understand and use it to get them back in.  Such a crazy subtle manipulation, to the point where I’m not sure it wasn’t almost entirely subconscious on Daniel’s part.

- The YETI recommendation letter.  What I love is that this is another time when Daniel fvcks up, but fixes it, and more importantly displays competence and ingenuity alongside authentic caring and effort.  Here’s the thing: YETI wanted Betty, even if it was just a quota thing (which it wasn’t entirely, at least one of the board was generally enthused.)  So all that was necessary was to have them re-label her as from Player.  Daniel knew this and did this.  And told Betty that.  BUUUUT that point was purposefully (by script and character) overshadowed by the gesture of the lengthy rec letter he put significant time into.  Whose real audience was... wait for it...  Betty.  He even did a second draft!  Which is more time and effort and a cleaner product.

-  Also flaking on her practice run.  I also enjoy how he (finally...) bounced back into the office clearly having forgotten her schedule, but having mentally shifted from Molly-space into Betty-space.  He’s enthused, he’s engaged, he’s sort of bantering and I’d like to see where that scene would have gone if she hadn’t immediately gotten the acceptance call.

- So there’s this moment somewhat early on, pretty sure when Betty’s taking the writing class, and wants Daniel to give her feedback.  And he’s all “why?,” coming from his “I don’t actually know what I’m doing” place.  She responds that he’s her friend and wants to know what he thinks.  And he does a little double-take at that word.  Because until that point Daniel totally sees Betty as HIS Friend, and they’ve referred to each other as friends, with a little “f,” and he believes that.  But it wasn’t until this moment that he even considered that HE might be HER Friend.  Presumably because he doesn’t believe he has anything to offer her, beyond the power he holds as EIC and her boss - ie, “here run this show” and other such responsibilities.

- Which is a recurring theme.  Pronounced on relationship stuff especially.  When she asks him for input on the Henry vs Gio situation, when she’s trying to date the playwright.  His response is always “I’m in no position to offer relationship advice/judgment on relationships.”  He sorta dodges the first and is permissive on the second.  I don’t know where to go with that so I’ll leave it (for now).

- When  he was supposed to be in Rio, Betty wasn’t even at MODE, she was working for the “enemy,” and he was sending her regular postcards?  First, they’d have been postmarked in New York and presumably with local stamps, so I’m not 100% on Betty not cottoning on.  But it’s super cute that he was thinking of her when he was incommunicado with literally everyone else.  Did he want her to figure it out (subconsciously)?  It’s an act of reaching out, but also of convincing: he’s created a fictional narrative of being in Rio, fed and embellished by the media and swallowed by coworkers, but it’s through Betty that he’s establishing the fiction in a definitive way.  He wants HER to believe it, because if SHE believes he’s there and having a good time, then he can believe it too, with a small piece of his imagination.

- Same convincing as in Player.  BTW, how did all those messages on her phone work?  He was 99% totally hiding the situation from her.  a) why wouldn’t he just call her from his phone, as he always did in the past?  b) he was creating another fictional space.  Where her “number” was literally on a post-it on his temporary assistant’s monitor.  It’s all play: “call Betty” happens many times, and every one is the act of doing it while knowing that he’s not really doing it.  c) Betty does not point out that he should have been confused he never heard back, or more to the point, that he never heard her voicemail message.  d) he was in a state of limbo waiting for her to come back, nothing is real until she does.  At which point there’s lovely dramatic tension since he both wants her to fix it and get them out of there, and wants to draw her into this new reality and thus make it feel viable.

- 100th Anniversary edition.  I love the idea that he’s hep on her writing his bio because he needs her name, at least, to be next to his.  His identity as EIC is predicated on her being his partner, and needs that shown, even if it’s functionally an “in joke” because it’s not like she can be featured.  In musing over his thoughts while flipping through the book right before deciding to quit, I usually come back to a realization of the transience of the role, but I want it to be a gutpunch of how he assumed, without being aware, that Betty would be next to him in picture, and that’s what they were heading for.

- I’ve actually got through most of my notes, so just a couple more.  Daniel is super impressionable.  He did what Becks told him to in the pilot.  He did what Natalie told him in the cult-situation.  Both against his better judgment - his look after Betty when he kicked her out for being “drama he didn’t need” - that’s the same look when he told her to clock out and was dragged off by the not-16-year-old.  I’m too tired to go check the pilot, but assuming similar look there.  He does what he’s told by anyone telling him to do something, but he WANTS to be rescued from the bad influences, who are so often so forceful.

- Final scene: okay so it turns out quick a lot of my thoughts are trying to understand Daniel.  His growth is blatant and deep.  So a second round will be more Betty-focused.  ‘Cuz I identify strongly with her and don’t have a lot of surface questions about her motivations, but I’m LOST on side of the romantic coin.  And plus she deserves a close look regarding how she grows during the series.

- I watched at least part of the reunion and very much like how AF answered the question of the final scene versus what EM says.  Because I think they each, as actors, see it from the perspective of their characters, which means it was played authentically and grants insight.  AF basically says that she saw it as Daniel coming to say thank you, and how it came down to Betty teaching him that he was good enough.  Which came across a little funny because her phrasing implied they’d never talk or see each other again or something and that’s an alarming finality.  But also implies that Betty really did see moving to London as a significant parting of ways, something that started as soon as she became an editor and their relationship changed.  Probably before.

- She then challenged EM as to why Daniel didn’t say goodbye (as if she didn’t know and hadn’t thought about it?  I’m guessing this was panel performance: asking the question “in character” and throwing the question to the other relevant actor.)  But anyway, EM’s answer was “Because things were just starting.”  Which is blatantly a shippy answer, and he even explains Daniel’s “revelation” as when he “really saw Betty for the first time through and through.”

- At some point in these things you’re like: oh but I thought of something else, and only stop when your brain falls asleep.

- I thought of something else.  And then I forgot it.  My brain is failing!  But not yet failed.

- After Betty gets her braces off there’s this scene near the end, at the shoot.  Daniel sees her and crosses quite purposefully to talk with her.  He wants to banter and share this exciting moment with her.  And the scene goes a little strange when Betty kinda goes “yeah, going now bye.”  I expected more eye contact, a big smile, more conversation.  That’s Betty.  That’s them.  But instead it’s a little awkward so Something Is Happening Here.  Is she self-conscious?  Did she see and hear something in Daniel’s look and comment right after she was detached from the bra and isn’t at this moment comfortable with him?  Is this all fallout from her dream in which she and Daniel slept together/he thought she was a bad person/rejected her only they chose not to explicate this/cut a useful scene/thought I’d get that right away but I’m obtuse?  I don’t think it’s the last one because while I can be horribly obtuse, I don’t think it was coded.  But that’s what the obtuse would say.

- At any rate they don’t pick up on it again, next scene (next ep) they’re back to normal.

- But Daniel does immediately chase after Amanda and let go of her.  Which is payoff for his convo with Betty earlier where she sort of disdainfully asks if he WANTS a more serious relationship with Amanda.  I did sort of wonder if he actually does, but Betty’s judgmentalness is what convinces him he doesn’t.  Usually I’d say Betty understands him so well she knows he doesn’t, but they’re not as close at this point, Betty is living her own life much more, so I dunno.

- But I don’t actually think Daniel was falling for Amanda, or that the show wanted us to think that was ultimately a viable path.  Because of that moment when he’s in a car, calls Amanda, says “I really need to see  you” and she turns him down.  It parallels his text to Betty when Molly died.  One text and Betty came over.  This was an actual distressed voice convo and Amanda doesn’t care enough about him to be there, which is really great development for Amanda even though we don’t see her!  She previously went after Matt when he was in jail, she’s interested in Tyler here, she’s not totally pining for Daniel!

- Daniel of course was using Amanda and their earned if mild emotional intimacy as a crutch, trying to fill the space Betty left.  Also note when Amanda turned him down for sex and he stayed to “hang out,” - this is not supposed to be an analysis of Amanda but I wanna note I like that moment because it felt like she was pleased to think she wasn’t just sex to him, while still being over him romantically. Because she does care about him.

- Or for pete’s...  I have this bad habit of writing notes which I later look at and am like... “huh?”  This is a fic idea, from Daniel’s POV: “Betty had moulded him, often by sheer force of her iron will, into being a man who almost deserved Molly.  And he'd turned right around and become a man who would never deserve Betty.”  And I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT THE SECOND HALF MEANS.  Specifically.

- Wedding dancing.  Happens twice.  Hilda’s wedding, we know what that is.  But at Daniel’s wedding.  I like that he wasn’t 100% Molly focused, ‘cuz, shipper.  And I know why the show had Matt cut in, because gotta keep things moving.  But isn’t it a thing that you don’t cut in on the groom/bride?  It’s their day.  Daniel just sort of nonverbally asks Betty if it’s okay (to leave her with Matt), but can’t help a) thinking he was a bit put out and b) want Molly to see his expression looking at Betty and have some sort of “aha” moment where she - do Molly and Betty have any scenes together?  I don’t remember seeing any and I think I did skim through all the eps, but I need to do that again.

- Ooh, one of the things I forgot en route!  I like that Betty has revolving love interests, because that’s textual argument for Betty never having feelings (romantic) for Daniel.  Which is super, super important in this iteration of the story.  There’s a couple moments - pilot and the first bridge scene - where she arguably has a momentary crush, which quickly settles into a developing platonic relationship.  

- Jump back to Daniel finally seeing Betty as a true equal = romantic feelings.  It’s a thing.  Look my brain is deteriorting and wording is hard!  So there’s two sided imbalance throughout.  Daniel always saw Betty with this veneer of youth, and a great deal of his use for her is helping her “grow into the woman she’ll be.”  And that’s the roadblock in him seeing her as a romantic possibility.  Which was initially quite awesome because he was sleeping with people younger than her, even the “she’s actually 20″ girl was younger than Betty.  And yet always saw her as in many ways more mature and competent than her.  And double-yet he still saw how much further she could, and would, grow.  His belief in her knows no bounds.

- Meanwhile Betty sees him as...  someone who’s also becoming.  Who has great potential.  Bullying him into it if necessary.  And because he’s guided by her, she can’t crush on him, he’s like her pet.  Were she to have a crush, much less fall for him, it would have been horrifying.  She needs to have a moment when she sees him as a true equal, someone who - look, everyone is always still growing so it’s not like he needs to be fully formed, and it’s a little murkier what the moment would look like when she finally sees Daniel “for the first time.”

- ‘cuz as noted, Betty has been there for pretty much every important moment of growth and crossroads in every facet of Daniel’s life.  Whereas Betty consistently had many things and relationships in her life Daniel was not involved in.  She’s always been way more self-reliant (not the word I wanted, is there one that starts with c?)  It’s why they did sort of need to peel away through a chunk of S4, because Daniel needed to learn to cope without Betty propping him up, because it’s like a Miranda-thing:

- “I don’t need Gary.  But I want him.”

- Daniel has to be able to be find without Betty before Betty can see him as a viable romantic partner.  She has to see something she never has before.  Daniel saw that the seedling he’d been protecting was not only strong enough to survive on its own had grown up and bloomed (process begun early in the season when he was being overprotective and she shut that down).  For Betty...  I guess Daniel...  ...  .....  it didn’t happen in the show.  As EM noted, for Daniel, the ending was the beginning.  Because his moment isn’t leaving MODE, that’s just the corresponding moment to Betty shaking him off.  His moment is further down the road when he puts into practice everything he’s learned and ...  something answered in fanfic because it’s spec and I’m tuckered.

[hopeworldfan]

good things come in threes (1)

summary: you had a unique relationship with hyuna and hyojong, one that gets even more complicated when min yoongi gets involved.

pairing: yoongi/reader, hyuna/reader/hyojong

word count: 2984

rating: 18+

genre: fluff, smut, angst, idolverse, idol!reader

warning: smut, threesome, hyuna with a strap is my biggest kink, sexting, excessive orgasms, marking

a/n: my dream threesome is with hyuna and edawn and thats just the cold hard facts

“So, (y/n), on to the burning question that’s on everyone’s mind,” the host started, leaning towards you. “What is your relationship with Hyuna and E’Dawn.”

You laughed and the host joined in. “Well, they’re my dear friends of course. If it wasn’t for Hyuna taking an interest in me all those years ago I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

The host was visibly disappointed with your answer. It was the one you gave any time you were given that question, you would think they would stop asking it by now.

“So, you’re not in a relationship with them?” He pried and you internally rolled your eyes but externally kept a polite smile on your face.

“They’re in a relationship with each other, so no, I’m not in a relationship with them.” It wasn’t a lie. They thought it was hilarious how you never once lied about the details of your relationship, just darted around it.

“Well, that’s all we have time for today. It was a pleasure talking to you today (y/n).” The host said and you both got to your feet. “Everyone check out her new album, now available on all streaming services.”

Your manager was the first person to approach you when you walked off the stage, a clipboard in her hand and an annoyed look on her face. “You think they would learn to stop asking that question by now.”

“I think it’s funny.” You shrugged and Minsun glared at you.

“I know you do. You’re getting more reckless (y/n), more people are talking, especially since Hyuna and E’Dawn made their relationship public. It’s only a matter of time before something gets caught on camera, and then what? You’re controversial enough as is, that could be the final nail in your coffin.”

You sighed. “You worry too much Minsun. Besides, I don’t see much of them these days anyway.”

Walking into your dressing room, your manager was quick to close the door behind you before turning and fixing you with a hard stare. “You and Hyuna are both performing at MAMA this year, you know E’Dawn’s going to be there. I am begging you (y/n), be careful. Keep the physical contact for behind closed doors, I’d prefer you to stay away from closed doors with them, but I know it’s pointless to even ask.”

“I promise Minsun, okay?”  

“I wish I could believe you.” Your manager said with a defeated sigh before adjusting her glasses and walking out. Guilt coursed through you. Minsun was an amazing manager, she had been with you since the start of your career, you didn’t like making her worry.

The guilt faded away when you picked up your phone and saw a message from Hyuna. Your breath hitched when you opened the message and saw the attached picture. It was obviously her hand, resting on top of Hyojong’s clothed crotch, but you could see the strain from his erection.

we miss you (y/n), all i did was say your name and he got hard

Excitement coursed through you and you double-checked that your door was locked before ripping your shirt off and posing in front of the large mirror. Your face wasn’t in the picture, it never was. The three of you were careful about that, in case someone were to get ahold of your phones.  

After being satisfied with one of the pictures, you sent it.

i’ll see you both in two days, make sure we’re in a soundproof room  

A sudden knock on the door distracted you from the heat pooling between your legs and you groaned. “Hurry up (y/n), you have practice in an hour!”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I’m coming Minsun.”

Two days later and it was finally the day you had been waiting for. Your stomach was in knots, but not because you were nervous about your nomination for ‘Song of the Year’. No, you were finally seeing Hyuna and Hyojong again.  

Between your tour, working on your new album, and all your tv appearances, you hadn’t seen either of them in five months. It was torture. Sure, there were phone calls, video chats, and a multitude of texts, but it wasn’t the same. Your whole body was practically vibrating in anticipation.

“I know you’re eager to run off and see those two, but you need to greet the BTS boys first,” Minsun informed and you stopped dead in your tracks.

“Why?”

Your manager shook her head. “Other than it being polite since you’re going to walk right by them, there may be talk going on about a collaboration.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You hissed in a hushed whisper, your eyes wide at your manager’s words.

“I did, a few times, you were too busy texting Hyuna and E’Dawn.”  

You tried to think back, but you were coming up blank. “A collaboration? Really?”

Minsun rolled her eyes. “Yes, a few of the boys expressed interest in it. The details aren’t ironed out yet.”

“Which boys?” You prompted excitedly. A collaboration with BTS was everything you dreamed about. You were a big fan of them. Their music was amazing, they’re choreography was stunning, and they were all drop-dead gorgeous. Not to mention it could be what you needed to really break into the American market, something you had been making progress with.

“Suga’s expressed the most interest, but also Jimin and Jungkook. I have a few meetings coming up about it, so make nice with them.” Minsun didn’t have to tell you twice before you were bouncing up to the group of boys, sliding right past security.

“Hey, guys!” You chirped. “It’s so nice to officially meet you.”

You had seen them at award shows and events before but had never said more than two words in passing. The boys were immediately falling all over themselves to greet you.

“Ah hello!”

“(y/n), hi!”

“It’s so nice to meet you!”

“Wow, hi!”

“I’m a big fan!”

“You’re so pretty!”

“Hello.”

They each shook your hand and you giggled at how excited they were. “My manager just told me there’s talk about a collaboration going on, I’m looking forward to it.”

Namjoon was the first to answer with a shy smile. “We would all be honored to collaborate with you (y/n), we’re all big fans.”

“Yes! We love you!” J-Hope added cheerfully.

“Aww, stop it guys, I’m blushing.” You replied, bringing your hands to your cheeks. “I could say the same about all of you! I’m such a big fan! You’re all so talented!”

“You’re the talented one here (y/n),” Jimin commented shyly.

“I always watch your videos the day they come out!” Jin added excitedly.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and you suddenly remembered just where you were headed to before you were distracted by the seven boys. The butterflies in your stomach increased because you knew what was waiting for you in Hyuna’s dressing room.

“Well, it was so nice to meet all of you!” You smiled, catching Suga’s eye and grinning even wider. He was definitely your favorite, your bias some would say. “I look forward to working together in the future.”

The boys said their goodbyes and you were off. You couldn’t move fast enough and the security guard in front of the door immediately moved when he saw you.  

“(y/n)!” Hyuna squealed when the door shut behind you and she was in your arms immediately.

“Hi.” You laughed.

“It’s good to see you,” Hyojong said with a lazy smile, sliding behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist.  

Hyuna’s lips were on yours immediately, inexplicably eager. Hyojong’s hands roamed up the front of your body, sliding under your shirt and cupping your breasts.

“You two are eager.” You breathed against Hyuna’s lips before being silenced again.

“We missed you, can’t you tell?” Hyojong answered before lowering his mouth to the base of your neck. Your breaths started to become uneven when Hyuna’s hands slid down your stomach and slipped past the waistband of your sweatpants.

“You’re so wet already (y/n).” Hyuna purred when one of her digits rubbed against your soaked panties.

“What can I say, I missed you both too.” You panted and she giggled before tugging you out of Hyojong’s grip and to the large couch. He whined at the loss of contact and trailed behind.

“C’mon Hyojong, we have to make (y/n) cum at least five times before she has to get ready to perform.”  

“My goal is seven.”

No, you weren’t in a relationship with Hyuna and Hyojong. It started not long after your first collaboration with Hyuna. She had taken such an interest in you, and the two of you got along so well, you easily became close friends. Then it morphed into something more than that, and the sex started.

It was complicated, and messy at first, but you worked through it. Neither of you wanted a relationship, so you settled on friends-with-benefits and that worked out spectacularly. Then she started dating Hyojong and everything went to shit again. You remained friends, though it was rocky, and you didn’t touch each other for a year.

Until she finally approached you about a threesome. It was never something you thought you’d be in to, but you decided to give it a try because sex with Hyuna was spectacular and you missed her. It was probably the greatest decision you had ever made. Your biggest fear was that you would feel like an intruder since they were dating, but their attention was so focused on you and holy shit Hyojong was also great in bed.

It worked out surprisingly well. You weren’t in their relationship, it wasn’t a polyamorous relationship, you were just friends-with-benefits with both of them. There were times when you just slept with Hyuna, or just slept with Hyojong. You all shared a connection, it just didn’t extend to romantic when it came to you, and you were okay with that because you didn’t have romantic feelings for either of them. You all loved each other, but it was platonic when it came to you.

The public wouldn’t understand so it was kept under wraps, and that was fine with you too. Only a handful of people knew the truth, your manager for one, only because she happened to walk in on you making out with Hyuna while Hyojong was eating you out. She wasn’t happy, to say the least.

There was also their former ‘Triple H’ member, Hui. He joined in on the fun a few times, leading to some very memorable orgasms.

Other than those two, Hyuna’s security guard and a few members of both of your inner circles. There was a tight lid on it, even though there was speculation. Hyuna and Hyojong were very touchy in public to your manager’s constant annoyance. They’d been seen leaving your dressing room and vice versa multiple times, but there’s never been anything concrete.

“I think that’s six.” Hyojong smiled, picking his head up from your dripping pussy and licking his lips. Hyuna smashed her lips against his, lapping up the excess juice from his lips. Without his grip on your thighs, your trembling legs fell against the couch and you took a shaky breath.  

He wasn’t kidding when he said his goal was seven.

“My turn!” Hyuna chirped, pulling back from Hyojong. She already had her strap on, and your vagina literally twitched in anticipation. He moved to stand next to your head and you turned your head to the side to take his hard cock in your mouth while Hyuna fucked you.

She had only gotten a few strokes in when there was a knock on the door. “(y/n) so help me God you needed to be in makeup five minutes ago. I’m going to walk away and if you’re not in your dressing room in two minutes there will be hell to pay!”

“Fuck.” You mumbled around Hyojong’s cock. Minsun didn’t get angry often, but when she did it was never pretty.

“That’s not fair!” Hyuna whined, pulling out so you could get up and tug your clothes on, struggling because of how weak your legs felt.

You glanced up into the mirror and cursed again when you saw the marks on your neck. “Hyojong! What the fuck is this! Minsun is going to fucking gut me!”

Said boy just shrugged, lounging on the couch. “You know I get carried away when I don’t see you for a while.”

“I’m fucked.” You groaned, haphazardly throwing your rats’ nest of sex hair into a messy bun.

“Yeah, you were.” He grinned and you glared at him.

“Have a good performance babe!” Hyuna called out as you threw open the door, still tugging your shirt into place. You managed a wave before the door shut, quickly turning on your heel to rush to your dressing room. What you weren’t expecting to happen was to run right into someone else.

“Shit sorry!” You said automatically, the other person’s hands coming up to steady you. Your eyes shot up to see just who you were running into and your mouth went dry when you met Suga’s gaze.

He didn’t say anything at first. You watched as his eyes took you in, shirt on inside out, obvious sex hair, swollen lips, dark marks on your neck. Then his attention went to the name on the door you ran out of and you practically saw the pieces connect in his brain.

Fuck.

You wanted to say something, to throw together some half-baked excuse, but you remembered that you probably only had thirty seconds to get to your dressing room before having to face the wrath of your manager, so you extracted yourself from his grip and shot him a frazzled smile. “Sorry, gotta blast!”

As expected, Minsun essentially ripped you a new asshole when she saw the hickeys on your neck. It was a good thing your makeup team was very good at their job or you never would have heard the end of it. Your hairstylist didn’t even bother trying to be gentle, but you couldn’t complain.  

You managed to be in position five minutes before you had to go on and you just prayed to God your legs didn’t give out on you. Sex before a performance was never a good idea, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Miraculously, you managed to pull off a stellar performance despite how weak-kneed you still felt. It felt amazing when you could finally sit and watch others. Hyuna was spectacular as always, you couldn’t get the vision of her in-between your legs with her strap on out of your mind though. Minsun discreetly pinched you when she saw you start to squirm the slightest bit.

BTS was amazing. Their performance was so passionate, you were entranced the whole time. You knew they would win Artist of the Year.

Finally, it was time for them to announce Song of the Year. Your stomach was in fucking knots. You had been nominated once before but lost to Twice. Minsun was gripping your hand so tight you thought it was going to fall off.

“Song of the Year…goes to,” The announcer began before peeling open the envelope. “(y/n) for Anywhere, Anytime!”

Minsun started screaming immediately, followed by your team. You just sat there in shock, eyes the size of saucers.

“You did it!” Minsun squealed, jerking you up to your feet. The cheers from the crowd were deafening and you just couldn’t think. You won. You actually won. What the fuck.

Almost in a trance, you walked up to the announcer who had a giant smile. He handed you the award and you took it almost robotically, shaking his hand and thanking him. Then it was time for your speech, but you still couldn’t even think.

“Um…wow,” You started with a nervous laugh staring at the award in your hand. “I just…wow.”

Tears started to prick at the back of your eyes as you stared at the award, it finally starting to hit you that you won.

“There are so many people I have to thank for this, um,” You paused, trying to fight through the burning in your throat. The crowd began to cheer again, shouts of encouragement reaching your ears. “My fans, of course, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I love each and every one of you so much…I’ll continue working hard for all of you.”

You used your free hand to wipe the now free-falling tears. “My parents, for always believing me and supporting me. My manager, Minsun, and my whole team for being such an amazing support system, my company for giving me this opportunity, just, everyone who supports me and of course my lovely friend Hyuna who I owe so much to. Thank you all so much for this, just, thank you.”

Hyuna was the first person to greet you when you walked off the stage, pulling you into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

You just cried into her shoulder while she laughed before passing you to Hyojong.

“Good job baby.” He whispered into your ear, rubbing your back as you cried. Minsun was the one to break you all apart, ushering you back to your seat with a shake of her head, she held back from chiding you though.

You found your friends again after the awards when all the groups were mingling. She instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist and Hyojong placed a quick kiss against your cheek. You just so happened to glance up in time to see Suga staring directly at you. You knew he had seen the interaction. You knew he knew something was up.

You met his intense gaze and he was the first to look away. Just great.

[today-only-happens-once]

With Great Power - Chapter 6

Title: With Great Power – Chapter 6

Catch Up/Read on AO3 here!

Word Count: 3382

Fic summary: Thomas Sanders is just a regular social media personality. But when he gets bit by a spider during filming one of his YouTube videos, his whole life is about to turn upside down—whether he (or the aspects of his personality) want it to or not. Platonic LAMP/CALM + Character!Thomas. Spider-Man AU.

Chapter warnings: cursing, moral dilemmas, guns, mention of prayer, violence/fighting, police mention, bank robbery attempt. Please let me know if I forgot anything.

A/N: It’s been forever. I have mixed feelings about this chapter, but I hope you all at least enjoy it. Sorry for the wait! Thanks for the patience. <3

Tags: @captain-loki-xavier, @human-dictionary, @the-peculiar-bi-tch, @mining-pup, @band-be-boss-blog, @asexual-trashbag, @samathekittycat, @why-should-i-tell-youu2, @theobsessor1, @changeling-ash, @logical-princey, @crimsonshadow323, @flickering-raven, @smokeyrutilequartz, @dontbugmeimantisocial, @liz-a-bell, @black-king-white-knight, @soijusthavetoask, @analogical-mess, @marvelfangeek09, @dolphidragon, @thelowlysatsuma, @approximately12lbs-of-ducks, @princelogical

…

Thomas drums his fingers on the steering wheel as he rolls his car to a lazy stop at a red light a couple of days later.

They’d just released the newest Cartoon Therapy after a few days of non-stop editing. The response had been overwhelmingly positive and incredibly sweet, though it had only been released about two hours ago. Thomas had met at the office with the entire team involved—at least those who were still in town—and hosted a watch party. It had been fun. Needed.

He’d also been managing to spend at least a couple of hours in the evening at the warehouse. Logan continued to take notes on a clipboard, making suggestions to test out just how much Thomas was able to do. They’d learned two days ago, for example, that Thomas had a much higher vertical jump than the average human being. Roman made suggestions of his own, many of which either Logan or Virgil refute when he suggested something that was maybe a little too risky. Patton had, as always, been a welcome tension relief with puns and humor whenever one of them started to get frustrated.

And Thomas had definitely been getting frustrated.

The light turns green and Thomas eases onto the gas. He has the windows rolled down, and the cool night air runs through Thomas’s hair as he flicks a turn signal and merges lanes.

Thomas couldn’t seem to get a handle on sticking to surfaces. Either he stuck more than he wanted to, or he couldn’t get purchase on anything and would be sent careening towards the concrete. Patton reminded him nearly every night that, in fact, he was improving. And Logan would support that, reminding Thomas that this ability is far outside his usual realm of capability and therefore it made sense that it would be a challenge for Thomas to gain mastery of it.

“If you look at the evidence,” Logan had told him yesterday, “you are showing steady improvement with regards to your manipulation of this… sticking ability. Your ratio of attempt to failure has dropped nearly 25% since you first began.”

It had been nice to hear. Thomas just wasn’t sure where the uneasy feeling in his stomach was coming from. Neither Virgil nor Roman would look at Logan, and they both sunk out before Thomas could ask them about it. He supposes he could have called them back, but Thomas had really just wanted to take the small victory. A 25% improvement wasn’t nothing, right?

Although, when he really thought about it… he wasn’t even sure what he was training for. Originally, it had been to better understand what he was capable of doing because not knowing his own ability had been stressing Virgil—and by extension, Thomas—out. But Thomas didn’t really feel any better about it. He was faster, stronger, could take more hits than a normal person, and could stick to walls. But he didn’t understand—

“To those of you driving down Whester Street, stay clear of the intersection with Route 4.” Thomas frowns as the radio DJ breaks into his thoughts at the next red light. He’s less than a mile from that location. “Police are currently on their way, but reports indicate some kind of hostage situation at Spears Bank. Suspect is armed and dangerous according to preliminary reports.”

Thomas flexes his hands around the wheel. He nearly jumps when he sees Patton sitting in the passenger seat beside him.

“Thomas. You have to go help.”

Thomas releases a long, slow breath in the hopes that it might calm his suddenly racing heart. It doesn’t surprise him in the slightest when he glances in the rearview mirror and sees Virgil’s wide eyes staring back at him.

“Are you kidding?” Virgil leans forward. “The police are on their way, Thomas. You heard the DJ; the dude is armed. He has a gun or something. We could get hurt.”

The host turns right onto Whester and nudges the gas. “Patton’s right,” Thomas says with a certainty that surprises even himself. “I have the chance to do something to help, Virge. I have to try.” His gaze flickers up to the rearview mirror to lock eyes with his Anxiety for a fleeting moment. “You know I can’t just do nothing here.”

“You don’t know the first thing about something like this. You could get somebody else killed.”

“If Thomas doesn’t intervene when he could have,” Patton says, quiet and measured, “he runs that same risk.”

“Virgil,” Thomas says, his grip around the wheel tightening as he sees the bank come into view. “Look, it’d be different if this was happening three weeks ago. But I have these… abilities now. And I don’t know why, but… I feel like they have to mean something, right? Why would I get them if I wasn’t supposed to use them for something good?”

“Tell Roman to cool it with the ego,” Virgil growls, a hint of double vocalization leaking in to his voice. Thomas feels a flare of frustration before he glances at Virgil through the reflection again. The Anxious Side had pulled his hood up and he was curling into his hoodie. Thomas can’t see his eyes anymore, and it suddenly makes sense.

Virgil’s afraid.

“Kiddo…” Patton turns to look at Virgil in the backseat as Thomas pulls into the parking lot of the building adjacent to the bank. He can hear sirens in the distance. Patton reaches back and places a hand on Virgil’s knee as Thomas puts the car into park. “I know you’re scared. But… this is the right thing to do.”

Thomas shuts the car off, listening closely to Patton’s words in the sudden silence.

“We can’t keep Thomas from doing the right thing.” Patton’s patient, gentle voice soothes Thomas’s racing heart. He glances at Virgil once again through the mirror and sees him scowl a little.

“Fine.”

Thomas smiles a little. Suddenly a pile of cloth lands in his lap. He unfurls it and realizes it’s the same sweatshirt he’d been wearing when he’d helped Mikey. He looks at Virgil over his shoulder in confusion. The Anxious Side lifts a shoulder.

“There’s gonna be cameras and police around. You’ve gotta protect your identity somehow.”

…

A couple of minutes later, Thomas finds himself crouched low with his back against the wall of a hallway that leads directly out to the bank foyer. He’d managed to find an open side door that led into an empty office. From there, he’d mostly followed the sound of shouting until he found himself just around the corner of the lobby.

He hasn’t looked yet, uncertain if he’d be likely to be seen by doing so. So Thomas had stayed put, listening closely to the footsteps and occasional demand to “shut up” or “hurry up” in a gruff but oddly detached voice.  It felt like he’d been here for minutes. He’s pretty sure it’s only been a few seconds.

Thomas glances across the way to the window at the opposite end of the lobby. In the glass, Thomas can see a teenage girl with an older woman cowering on the floor. Strands of the girl’s hair is falling in small wisps from her hijab. Her eyes are wide and afraid. The older woman is mouthing something in a kind of rhythm, and Thomas thinks it might be a prayer.

It makes his chest twist. He has to help.

“Just give me the fucking money,” the guy shouts. Thomas has still only heard one voice, and he’s pretty sure it’s only been one set of footsteps.

Thomas bounces a little on the balls of his feet underneath him. He tugs the cloth around his face and his hood both up a little as if to reassure himself that they’re secure. He breathes in. Don’t do anything stupid, Thomas, a voice—unmistakably Virgil—warns in his head. He breathes out.

He peeks around the corner.

There’s an older gentleman laying face down on the floor with his hands up by his head. A couple sit on the floor in the opposite corner, one of whom has a bundle of blankets in her arms. They sit with two bank workers. A third stands behind the counter before the gunman. She looks young. Maybe a few years younger than Thomas.

The gunman, on the other hand, looks like he might be in his forties. He has a blonde, receding hairline and a wide jaw. He’s tall, too—at least 6 foot, by Thomas’s guess, and heavier than the internet personality. His blue eyes look slightly gray. He’s waving a pistol around as if it’s an extension of his hand with a flippant dismissal of its danger.

The baby fusses and the mom urgently shushes it, rocking slightly. Even across the room, Thomas can see how badly she’s shaking. The man—the father, Thomas assumes—shifts slightly as if in an attempt to position himself between the gunman and the baby. His eyes haven’t left the weapon in the man’s hands.

Thomas leans back around the corner and deftly stands up. Think, Thomas, he urges himself. Come on, brain, think of something.

Thomas glances in the reflection of the glass again. If he can get the guy’s attention, it would at least divert it from everyone else. The problem then is that Thomas has sacrificed his element of surprise, and he’s still at a disadvantage because the other man would still have a gun.

No matter how fast your reflexes may have improved, he can hear Logan saying in his head, your reflexes are not faster than a bullet, Thomas. Choose carefully.

Thomas glances around the hallway, then out to the part of the lobby he could see from where he was hiding. His eyes flit up towards the ceiling, then arcs an eyebrow. Well that’s an idea…

Thomas ignores the sudden churning in his stomach as he takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly and quietly. Then he presses his hands against the wall of the hallway, nodding once to himself when they stick. He brings one foot up, then the other. Just like the warehouse, Thomas. Nothing you haven’t done before, he tells himself.

He tries to not think about how many times he hit the concrete when he did this before.

Thomas instead focuses on climbing up the wall. The ceilings are pretty high in this building, but it only takes him a few seconds to reach it. He takes a breath, relieved when his hands pull effortlessly off the walls. His weight wobbles as his feet stay stuck and gravity works against him. Then he presses his hands to the ceiling in front of him.

“If you don’t hurry up, I’m gonna start shooting.”

Thomas climbs along the paneled ceiling around the corner of the hallway into the lobby. It’s disorienting, to see everything upside down. But he scales the ceiling on his hands and the balls of his feet slowly, inching closer to the gunman and the teller on the other side of the desk. If he can get closer, and drop at the right moment, maybe he can knock the gun out of his hands and have a shot—no pun intended—at a fair fight.

Thomas inches closer. He’s maybe a few inches from being directly above him.

The ceiling panel creaks.

Shit.

Time seems to slow for a moment. Thomas sees the gunman’s gaze flicker up towards the ceiling instinctually, followed by the almost comedic double-take he does when he sees Thomas on the ceiling. Thomas meets his bewildered gaze with a wide one of his own. Let go let go let go let go—

“I’m just… dropping in,” Thomas says, right before his feet kick loose and he uses the momentum to his advantage. His hands detach as he swings his feet into the gunman’s face, dropping Thomas from the ceiling. The bulk of Thomas’s weight is driven into the kick and it sends the gunman sprawling.

Thomas lands on top of him and immediately reaches for the gun.

“What the f—” Blood is pouring out of the man’s nose. Thomas rolls off him on instinct, narrowly missing a wide swing from him.

“Get out of here!” Thomas manages to yell to the people surrounding them. Thomas hears shuffling and shouting and the sound of doors opening. There’s movement in his peripheral.

THOMAS. ON YOUR RIGHT. That’s definitely Virgil’s voice.

Thomas throws up an arm and lets it take the brunt of a hard swing. There’s a flash of black in the hand he blocked and Thomas wrenches the arm down, grabbing the gun out of the man’s hand.

It’s heavier than he expected.

He also doesn’t know the first thing about handling it.

He hears the man growl as Thomas tries to scramble out of dodge. It’s an entanglement of limbs and a few sharp jabs to his ribs. Thomas slides the gun across the floor staggers back, sending the weapon clear across the room, scraping against the tile. A quick glance around the lobby tells him that everyone seems to have gotten out okay.

That only left this guy.

“You don’t have to do this,” Thomas tells him right before the guy charges at him.

He could dive out of the way, but then Thomas wouldn’t be between him and the weapon anymore. So Thomas braces for the impact, grunting a little as the man slams into him.  Thomas stays standing, gritting his teeth as he braces his arms against the man still pushing into him. He looks up, startled slightly by just how… empty the man’s blue-gray eyes look.

He snarls, his hand grabbing for the sweatshirt tied around Thomas’s face.

“Nope,” Thomas says quickly, panicked. He reaches a hand up and grabs the man’s wrist. ���Can’t do that.”

The room is filled suddenly with flashes of red and blue. Thomas drives a knee up into the man’s stomach, shoving him off. He staggers back with a cough. His face contorts in something like a glare, but there’s no edge in his eyes. There’s no anything.

The sudden flood of red and blue also means that the police are here, and that they are likely to break through the front door really any moment. Thomas knows he has to end the fight. Now.

Thomas sees the gun on the floor in his peripheral, but it’s an immediate dismissal. He doesn’t want to kill this man, and he doesn’t even know how to use it in the first place. He has to either knock him unconscious or find some way to tie him up. And Thomas doesn’t really have any way to do the latter.

“I’m sorry,” Thomas says apologetically, the man starts to advance again. Thomas turns and kicks sharply, his foot connecting right below the jaw. The man sprawls to the floor. He doesn’t move.

What if you killed him?

The question makes panic clutch at Thomas’s throat. He rushes to the gunman’s side, relieved to see the rise and fall of his chest. He releases a breath. He’s alive. Just unconscious, with maybe a dislocated jaw. Thomas sees movement against the red and blue lights streaming in through the windows. He knows he has to leave before the police get in here.

He’s just about stand up and run when he sees something on the floor slightly underneath the man that makes him stop. A black rectangle of cardstock. Thomas picks it up, his brows creasing together in curiosity. He flips it over. In neat white print, the other side reads one word.

E K K O

Thomas hears shouting from outside and slips the card into his pocket, ducking back into the hallway and breaking out of the emergency exit just as he hears the front doors of the bank open. Thomas doesn’t stop running until he gets to his car.

…

Thomas’s hands are shaking when he jumps back into the driver’s seat. He pulls harshly at the sweatshirt wrapped around his mouth and nose until it’s in a loose heap around his neck. He takes a breath.

“Thomas.” Logan is sitting in the middle of the backseat, leaning forward intently. “You are not injured. Everybody made it out safely. Even the gunman was hurt only enough to render him unconscious. Breathe.”

Thomas nods. “I can’t believe I did that,” he replies, panting for breath.

“I don’t understand.”

“That was crazy!” Thomas doesn’t know at this point of it’s adrenaline or panic that’s coursing through his system but his nerves are buzzing and his heart is racing. Thomas feels more alert and awake than he can ever remember feeling.

Roman’s voice pipes up from the passenger seat beside Thomas. “We just actually faced a guy with a gun, Logan. And Thomas knocked him unconcious.” Even in the dark, Thomas can see something bright and excited shining in Roman’s eyes.

Thomas looks over his shoulder to his Logical Side. Logan shrugs, his lips pursed in thought. “It makes sense. Your increased agility, reflexes, and strength capabilities would improve your precision and power behind your attacks. I cannot say I’m surprised that you were able to do what you did tonight.”

“You were a hero again, Thomas.” Roman sounds exhilarated. “You saved people tonight.”

Thomas hears a familiar whooshing sound. The host glances in the rearview mirror to see Virgil sitting beside Logan, his hands shoved in the pocket of his hoodie. He looks… exhausted. Thomas opens his mouth to ask him if he’s okay, but Virgil cuts him off with an annoyed glare at Roman.

“Sure, but he risked a lot, too.” His gaze flickers over to Thomas, who twists around to look at Virgil directly. “What if you hadn’t been fast enough to stop him when he tried to pull the sweatshirt down and he knew who you were? What if you hadn’t been close enough to tackle him before he saw you?”

The questions are sobering. Thomas can feel the initial adrenaline start to drain out of him and he nods. For a moment, nobody says anything. Thomas glances at Roman, who’s crossed his arms over his chest and is resolutely staring out the window. Thomas can’t see his expression. A quick glance in the rearview mirror tells Thomas that Logan’s brow is furrowed together in thought, as if he was trying to figure out some unseen puzzle.

He hears another whoosh and doesn’t have to look to know it’s Patton.  

“Virgil might have a point, kiddo, but… I’m proud of you for what you did tonight.”

Thomas’s mouth quirks faintly. “Thanks, Patton.” He takes a deep breath, willing some of the lingering tension to ease a little. He can feel Virgil’s gaze on him, all too aware that nobody had any real answers to his questions.

Speaking of questions…

Thomas slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out the black cardstock with EKKO written in white. He flips it over a few times in his hands, squinting in the dark. He clicks one of the interior lights of the car on quickly, turning it over again. Nothing. Thomas turns the light off.

“Ekko,” Thomas reads aloud. “Why does that sound familiar?”

“It’s the same name of a video that Joan insisted you don’t watch,” Logan replies without missing a beat. “The unusual spelling does match what your fans had been using in the livestream comments regarding the subject matter as well.”

“That’s…. weird,” Thomas says. Weird sounds like an understatement. The spelling. The timing. Joan’s reaction. That it had seemingly fallen from the man Thomas had fought tonight.

“Indeed,” Logan says. “There are many things regarding the current circumstance that seem… suspicious.”

Thomas sighs again and leans his head against the steering wheel. The longer he sat still, the faster the stale adrenaline was giving way to sleepiness. He needed to drive home before he fell asleep in the parking lot. But he can feel Logan’s curious energy buzzing in the back of his mind, mixing with Virgil’s lingering anxiety over it all into a cocktail that sits uncomfortable in Thomas’s stomach.

“We should look into it,” Thomas agrees. “Tomorrow.”

Logan pauses, then nods and sits back. “Satisfactory.”

[grimelords]

Hello I’ve finished my February playlist for you. There’s no timeline on these things anymore they just come out whenever they come out it seems. A good mix, and I’m sure there’ll be at least one thing in here you’ve never heard before that you’ll like. 

Doncamatic (feat. Daley) - Gorillaz: This song is extremely traumatic for me because they released it after Plastic Beach as a standalone single and Damon Albarn said they had a whole other album worth of songs from the Plastic Beach sessions that they were thinking about releasing with Doncamatic as the lead single that just never materialised, and the idea of Plastic Beach 2 sitting on a hard drive while we get The Now Now (The Fall 2) instead is maddening.

Portait Of A Man (live) - Marlon Williams: I feel like I've used The Secret to bring this album into existence. It's exactly what I wanted from him - no studio artifice or weird genre pigeonholing and his huge voice on full display. It's incredible and long as hell and this is definitely the highlight.

Houdini Crush - Buke & Gase: I'm in love with the structure of this song. It takes SO long to get back to the chorus. It takes about three different sections in the middle and then finally gets back there and it's so satisfying because of it. You could edit this song into a tight indie pop piece but instead it has the space to go wild and jam and it's great.

AE_LIVE_KRAKOW_200914 - Autechre: Sorry but Autechre finally put all their live albums on spotify and they're very VERY good. Not the sort of thing that you want to listen to as part of a playlist exactly cause they go for an hour each but a very nice reminder nonetheless.

Sheet Metal Girl - Pig Destroyer: I think Pig Destroyer is one of the best band names I've ever heard. I found out later they meant pigs like cops which is still good but the idea of absolutely eviscerating a hog for no reason is very palpably metal. Just looked up the lyrics and this song seems to literally about having sex with a girl made out of sheet metal. Good!

Horizon - Aldous Harding: I absolutely love this song and the way she says 'babe' lights my brain up like a christmas tree. Every now and then I think about when you’ll die baaaaabe.

Born Slippy (Nux) - Underworld: There's a good bit on the Genius page for this song that says "Lots of 1990s acts helped popularize techno, but in Karl Hyde, Underworld had something that was the exclusive province of rock bands: a totally full-of-it frontman who sounded cool." and it's interesting that Underworld and The Prodigy are the biggest names to survive that time and still be at least slightly relevant now. No matter how much you put into your instrumentals nothing can really compare to just having an insane guy yell a bunch of garbage over it.

A Change Is Going To Come - Baby Huey & The Baby Sitters: This is like all good all normal and then he does that huge squeal at 2 minutes in and you're rocked to your core and then it only gets bigger and bigger and better from there. Also maybe one of the best mid song monologues I've ever heard.

No Signal (feat. Roy Woods) - 24hrs: The whole thing of emo rap mirroring mid 2000s emo is still so strange because it's not just the mindset and content being repurposed it's the literal melodic conventions. Change the instrumentation of this song and it's melodically just an emo song. Very strange, but this song is great regardless.

De Aqui No Sales - Cap.4: Disputa - Rosalia: Rosalia rocks and I only just found out El Guincho co-produced this album which is very exciting to me. I love the way this song feels like it never really gets to the big build up it's promising. It has a big intro for about half the song and then when it feels like it's about to blow up when the handclaps come in it just sits in that groove for a while and ends. I also feel like I should mention the video for this song because it's like the platonic ideal of a music video. It's got everything you could ask for. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvGt2BcDl_g

Glass Jar - Gang Gang Dance: Here's how good brains are: I had a sudden urge to listen to this album the other day but couldn't remember what it was called or who it was by, only the album cover, but for some reason locked away in my brain was the fact that it was from 2011 so I just looked through Pitchfork's Best Of 2011 list until I recognised it. Incredible. Anyway I'm so glad I did because I ended up having a huge phase with this album. They walk the fine line of psychedelic jammy bands like this of taking up a lot of space with atmospherics but it never feeling like it's lost momentum. Even when this song takes fully half of its 11 minute runtime to properly get started it never feels like wasted time somehow, it's always moving somewhere.

Heavyweight - Infected Mushroom: It's unbelievable that this song's good because it absolutely shouldn't be. The unholy mix of goa trance and metal usually reserved for Command And Conquer soundtracks is so unbelievably naff that it's come all the way around again and I absolutely love it.

Black Static - Health: I'm still absolutely furious about Pitchfork giving this album a 3 and not particularly for the score but because it's some of the worst Pitchfork Writing I've seen in a quite a while. They tried to cancel them for calling the album Slaves Of Fear I think: "The “we,” it seems, refers to the slaves, the slaves of fear, and if I try any harder to connect the dual sensation of edginess and laziness with slavery, the all-American institution that killed and brutalized millions of people for hundreds of years, I am going to have to take a long walk into the sun." Not sure about that. Anyway this song's great sorry for talking about a review instead of the song!

Burn Bridges - The Grates: Twee pop is an underrated genre and The Grates are an underrated band because they brought so much attitude and power to it it's hardly twee at all. It's huge and it rocks!

Girlfriend (feat. Lil Mama) - Dr. Luke Mix - Avril Lavigne: Sorry for putting Dr Luke on your dash in 2019 but this is mostly for Lil Mama. Removing Avril's verses and replacing them with Lil Mama but keeping the chorus and big guitars makes it sound like a lost Girl Talk song and it's so, so much better than the original. There's also a good bit in this where she really puts a lot of emphasis on saying 'Jennifer Hudson' and the weird harmony vocals in the background mirror it which I like a lot.

Panic Switch - Silversun Pickups: It seems like Silversun Pickups had no lasting impact beyond being one hit wonders for Lazy Eye which is so strange to me because their first two albums were absolutely solid. This is also a good example of totally nonsense lyrics feeling like they have meaning because the melody it so good.

3 - Seekae: It's very strange now to think that Alex Cameron was in Seekae. But that's not important. What is important is how good this song is. In the extremely narrow genre of Mount Kimbie-ites +Dome really stood out to me as album from guys who really got it. It's extremely catchy music but it still sounds like nothing you've ever heard before which when you think about it sounds like it should be impossible.

Shooting Stars - Bag Raiders: Bag Raiders did a little Song Exploder thing for Triple J about this song a little while ago and pointed out something I'd never noticed before which is that this song has the extremely strange structure of 1 really long verse, breakdown, 1 really long chorus, end. Which is.... completely amazing. And also that this song blew up and charted higher than it ever had before via memes like 6 years after it came out is still bizarre. Remember when it was in the video for Swish Swish by Katy Perry? God I hope they got paid a million dollars for that.

Romantic Rights (Erol Alkan's Love From Below Re-Edit) - Death From Above 1979: Huge fan of this remix that seems to just drop the full song unedited right in the middle. The perfect way to remix an already great song - just make it longer.

Dwa Serduszka - Joanna Kulig: I saw Cold War and subsequently couldn't get this song out of my head. I loved that movie so much but I also extremely agreed when @cyborgbree said the ending was like a Simpsons parody or foreign movies.

Holes - Mercury Rev: This song gives me depression and makes me feel like I'm sorting through old records and merch from my old band that tried really hard but never got anywhere even though I've never even been in a band. That's the power of music!

It's Never Over (Hey Orpheus) - Arcade Fire: Reflektor is a great and underrated album and to this day I am still finding new things to love about it! Namely this song which I've never paid much attention to before but massively jumped out at me last time I listened. It's a 3 note riff but it's absolutely amazing.

Dance Your Life Away - Audiobooks: Huge fan of having the gall to name your band Audiobooks and a huge fan of this song! It sounds like if Life Without Buildings was a dance band, which is a theoretically perfect idea. It sounds like she's just making the words up on the spot and she probably is and it's absolutely great.

Everything (Deathless) - JW Ridley: I'm so glad that War On Drugs brought heartland rock back for the masses and finally gave us back extended guitar solos outside of a metal or prog context. It is so inspiring what you can do with two chords and a propulsive groove.

Unmarked Helicopters - Soul Coughing: Sorry for continually putting Soul Coughing in these playlists but check out how good this song they did for the X Files movie soundtrack was. 'check out this Soul Coughing song they did for the X Files movie soundtrack' is a very specific kind of 90s sentence. Anyway the 'black black black black and blacker' part with the distortion on the vocals is so good, love it lots.

Don't Sit Down Cause I've Moved Your Chair - Arctic Monkeys: I saw Arctic Monkeys a couple of weeks ago and it was amazing but also extra good because they played this song that I'd completely forgotten about and it went off. The Josh Homme produced Arctic Monkeys albums are very good because his fingerprints are all over them and they sound like Queens Of The Stone Age covers.

What Can I Do If The Fire Goes Out? - Gang Of Youths: It's fucked up how good this song is. I listened to it the other day and was like 'what the fuck how come I never listened to Gang Of Youths second album that much? But then I kept going and realised it was 70 minutes long and had about five interlude tracks on it. I love Gang Of Youths but they need a producer that will yell at them until they make a 40 minute album. Fuck this song's good though. So good I'm mad I haven't seen it live yet.

Shark Smile - Big Thief: I don't even know the words to this song or what it's about but it makes me cry anyway. I'm very glad I found out about Big Thief this month, like two years after everyone else. Their description on Bandcamp says "Listening to Big Thief is like the feeling of looking at a dog and suddenly marvelling that it is like you but very not like you; when you are accustomed to looking at a dog and thinking 'dog', watching Big Thief is like forgetting the word 'dog' and looking at that naked animal and getting much closer to it and how different it is to you" which is a certainly a way to feel.

Inhaler - Foals: I don't know how I've avoided it but I've never really gotten much into Foals even though they have multiple songs that I really really love, this one being one of them. I think it's an amazing piece of recording simply for how huge it gets. This song swells to about ten times its original size as the chorus hits before totally deflating again. Also a huge fan of anyone that can make a Battles riff work in a conventional song like this does.

Red Bull & Hennessy - Jenny Lewis: Another fantastic song in the long pantheon of great songs about getting twisted and being horny. The isolated 'ohh' after 'all we've been through' feels like a real Shania Twain piece of production and I love it. Also the drums on this song are absolutely massive for some reason which is very cool.​

listen here

[hollowincalmo]

The Wild Card - a lifepath

The Wild Card

Campaign: Looking Glass Heart

Academics Skill: Lazy

Sports Skill: I'm the Ace!

Favorite Foods: Noodles

Blood Type: O

Animal: Snake

Age: 18

Genres: Pastoral, Epic Fantasy, Adventure Fantasy

Step 1: Choose Your Name

Yo. I hope you're ready, because it's time to enter the world of Looking Glass Heart!

You're a Delinquent. Note the capital “D”. You're not just any old delinquent.

You're one of the Delinquent Princes, one of the ten deliquents chosen as royalty by your old mentor, Soun Shoujo, who was the Queen of the Delinquents.

There was a war, a couple of years ago, a war between our world and the world behind the mirror. You fought in that war with Soun Shoujo and the others. She was your first friend at School, and you were sort of in love with her.

Then at the end of the war, she ended up trapped in the world behind the mirror, and you were alone. This experience has shaped you in a lot of ways.

And in some ways, it's made you more distant. You were never very good at connecting with people, but since she left, it's been even harder.

You're the coolest of the cool, but you're alone, and nobody really gets how hard that is.

You went into the Outside for a while after she left.

You trained for a year and a day to unlock the true power of your soul. It caught fire from all that training, and that fire drives you, gives you power, keeps you going even when things are looking really bad.

You were always more than a bit inhuman (I mean, you're nearly seven feet tall and you have blue skin and pointy ears!), but you've become even more inhuman since your soul ignited. You're so different from everyone, so far away from them all.

You missed a lot while you were gone. Everybody got caught up in all kinds of Delinquent politics, and you were left out of the loop. At this point, you've decided staying out of it might be good. It's all kind of a mess, and you're better off without it.

But everybody else seems to having such a good time with all the stuff that's going on in their lives. You kind of wish you could be a part of it.

But how does that even work...

We'll come back to some of this in a while though.

For now, are you...

• ...Sora Nathalla, a gender non-conforming girl?

• ...Hayate Katagiri, a gender non-conforming boy?

• ...or someone else altogether?

Sorry, Hayate! This book is going to assume you're Sora Nathalla, a girl. But swap the gender and the name (and put on a dress) and you should find this a useful document about yourself!

Step 2: Choose Your Flaw

You're practically perfect in every way, but there's something you just don't seem to understand about connecting to people. You get worked up and stressed out about this sometimes, and when you do, it gets worse.

What's your problem exactly?

• I get horribly, horribly anxious when I even as much as think about talking to someone.

• I'm bad at communicating to the point that no one can read me.

• I'm awful at reading social cues.

• People are kind of afraid of me, so whenever I try to get close to them, they walk the other direction.

• I don't seem trustworthy, so nobody lets me get close to them.

• I have no tact, so I always end up upsetting the people I talk to.

...or is it something else altogether that troubles you?

I hope you learn to deal with this, I really do! It sucks not having any friends!

Hopefully even if you don't learn to solve your problems, you'll make some friends anyways. Being alone isn't fun for anyone.

Step 3: Choose Your Condition

Within the first few sessions of play, you're going to be picking up some sort of medical condition that helps people understand what's going on with you, why you're struggling with making friends.

This medical condition isn't going to be a fun thing for you, but in the end it's going to be a good thing, because it's going to help people get through to you and get close to you, because it's going to make them realize that you're trying, even if you're bad at showing it otherwise.

Are you going to contract...

• ...Glythia Painta (the default option), which causes you to exude copious amounts of paint from your body when you feel anxious?

• ...Cerberus Cerebra, which is when a small dog roosts inside of your head that starts barking loudly when you're hiding your emotions?

• ...Corporis Lux, which causes you to glow when you're lying?

• ...Mirum Vox, which causes you to blurt out exactly what you're thinking, no matter how embarassing?

• ...Bubblia Caper, which causes your flesh to begin to boil when you're feeling affection-starved?

• ...or something else altogether?

Step 4: Choose Your Corruptor

Remember how we talked a little while ago about the fire in your soul, the fire that ignited in you when you were training in the Outside?

You like that power, don't you?

You'd be unhappy if you lost it, right?

If so, I hope you're sitting down right now.

(If not, I'm questioning your choice of playing The Wild Card, honestly...)

There's someone out there who wants to corrupt your power, and ultimately to corrupt you. They've maybe even already started doing it. If not, they will soon.

At first, it's going to seem like they're helping you. At first it's going to seem like they're making you stronger, and encouraging you to be all that you can be.

They're even going to tell you that they love you, and that they want you to be happy. And to you, the girl who exists all alone, that pitch is going to be more than a bit enticing.

But that's not true at all.

They're trying to make you into something that you're not.

They're trying to corrupt you with bleak intent and turn you against everything you know and hold dear.

Who's corrupting you?

Is it...

• ...Katsuko Vasuki (the default option), a giant snake who might best be described as a goddess, who is imprisoned in a rotting shrine in the Outside and wants you to be her envoy?

• ...Ebrôt Appêkā, an ancient and powerful demon who wants you with her plans to invade heaven?

• ...Teatrix the Deacon, a Magister of the Bleak Academy who wants your help to destroy the world?

• ...Cleanthe, a twelve-winged angel who has saved your life with one of her lotus flowers and bound you to heaven's service, whether you want it or not?

• ...Typhon, a Mystery of the Far Roofs, who wants your help overthrowing the leadership of Town so that she might rule the world with a golden fist?

• ...Anakha Melchior, a hero (or rather villain) of ancient times who has lost her body and wants to use yours as her vessel?

• ...or someone else altogether?

Step 5: Your Rival

You have a rival. They're a lot like you, but more heroic and well-liked - or more villainous, if you're heroic by some chance, but given the fact that you're being corrupted, you're probably not going to get to be super heroic.

They're one of the Delinquent Princes too, and their soul has ignited too.

They have difficulties making friends, which are probably either the same as your difficulties, or the exact opposite.

Whatever your medical condition is, they're probably going to pick up the same condition, or something similar.

Are they...

• ...Ayako Kamiki, a girl?

• ...Itsuki Kamiki, a boy?

• ...or someone else altogether?

Typically your rival is of the same gender as you, but that's not by any means a requirement.

Step 6: Choose Your Favorite Scenes:

Are you most often seen...

[Gold]...getting into fights with other delinquents?

[Gold]...training in an abandoned building or dojo?

[Gold]...stressing over your lack of friends?

[Purple]...protecting younger students from bullies?

[Purple]...working on a painting?

[Silver]...lounging about beneath a tree playing video games?

[Silver] ...painting graffiti somewhere in the school?

[Silver] ...sitting in detention because you pissed off a teacher yet again?

[Silver]...standing around and people-watching?

[Silver]...feeling dismal?

[Silver]...napping under a tree?

[Blue]...experimenting with a new outfit?

[Red]...getting drawn into a strange and exciting adventure?

[Red]...acting as a “bad example” to younger students?

Pick 2-3 favorites to help you figure out what you're doing when you're not sure what to do in a scene.

Step 7: Review Your Goals

You don't have a lot of big goals. You're a simple woman.

You're just a punk who likes to fight.

Also, you're not really that interested in school. You've just got a few months before graduation though, so right now your main goal is trying to make it through those last few months. You need to keep your grades up if you want to graduate. Which isn't that hard, but it's something you have to at least sort of try to do.

And after that, who cares?

You'll figure it out when the time comes.

Step 8: Choose Your Connections

You don't really have any friends, so this section isn't terribly relevant to you!

But so that you don't leave this section empty-handed, let's say that maybe you have the following Connections:

• Ayako/Itsuki Kamiki 1. They're your rival, which means you at least sort of know them, right?

Talk to the other players about your relationship with their characters. If someone agrees that you should feel comfortable around their PC and have a fair amount of knowledge about how to take care of them, you can get a free level 1-2 Connection to their character as well! You can improve these Connections later, if you want.

Knowing you though, you probably don't have Connections to the other PCs, but you'll likely be picking them up in your first Arc or two.

I'm sorry about this! It sucks!

But that's the way it is for you.

Step 9: Review Your Powers

Your soul is on fire. You don't know very much about how to use that power right now, but it's a thing.

• Your flaw gets in the way of you being happy. This isn't so much of a power as it's a bad thing, but there's also some cool stuff that can happen because of it, so let's call it a power, okay?

• You're miraculously good at taking care of yourself day-to-day. You always look impeccable. Your clothes are always clean. Your hair is always perfect. It's almost supernatural. If this doesn't sound terribly useful, that's because it's not, but it'll get more useful over time, as you train and get stronger and stronger.

[hellagaymccree]

Exposed Treasure pt. 3

In coming 8k part but I’ve posted the whole thing on AO3 for those who might come across this for the first time and in case it’s easier to read there.

[AO3 LINK]

Also heads up for very brief McCree/Gabe/Genji and hints of Genji76. I want to write more of the McCree/Gabe/Genji seen and surely add a foursome scene but they’ll come later. For now I just wanted to complete the main idea and focus on mcreyes.

[Part One] [Part Two] [More fics by me] [consider supporting me through ko-fi]

“Did you like what you saw?” McCree’s heart skips a beat when Gabriel asks him later that night in their weekly paper work session. He looks up from the file he’s reading and finds Gabriel smiling too tenderly.

“Sir?” McCree tries to keep his voice even.

“Ana is working on getting us a safe house in the Caribbean,” Gabriel explains and chuckles. “A low-key way of telling me you need a vacation.”

McCree laughs nervously and tries to make memory of the e-mail he worked on earlier after seeing the video he shouldn’t have. “Yeah, she’s sneaky, but I’m glad to have her on my side.”

“It’s not like it’s me that doesn’t want to give you guys more days off,” Gabriel defends himself.

“I know, Gabe. But I think she’s also sayin’ you need the days off, too.” McCree points at him with a pen. “When was the last time you have a vacation?”

“Before I signed a contract for Overwatch.” McCree laughs at his commander’s answer, but Gabriel’s looking at him in a way that tells him he’s not kidding.

“That’s just wrong, boss,” the cowboy drawls. “I hope Ana does get us that safe house. You could use a few days on the beach.”

Reyes scoffs, “Will I have a guy with bleached blonde hair come to my rescue if I drown?”

“Hey! Genji had dyed his hair before, I thought he knew what he was doin’!” McCree protests, knowing well his commander his teasing him when the cowboy went undercover as a lifeguard last year.

“Did it accord to you he had people doing that for him?” Gabriel tilts his head with a grin and McCree rolls his eyes and closes the folder before taking it over to a file cabinet.

After more teasing and more paperwork, Gabriel calls it a night and Jesse waves a lazy goodbye and leaves the office, leaving behind the colorful serape the cowboy wears when nights get chilly around base. The one Gabriel got him five Christmases ago and fixes up when it has a rip.

---

Genji first points out Reyes knows about their game to McCree after the commander tried to hide his phone as he walked down a hall in front of Genji and missed the pocket, causing the device to clatter to the floor. But Gabriel kept on walking until he turned the corner and never returned for it. Of course, Genji had grabbed it before anyone noticed and followed where the commander had gone, but he went on without a care.

McCree agrees it’s suspicious when the code is still the same as it was when they unlocked it the first time. But when the screen is covered by Gabriel’s moaning face as he fucks himself with a dildo, too big to have been an easy task, they forget about it for five minutes. Then forget about it again when they see pictures of Gabriel, parading in front of a mirror in what they assume are a new pair of lacey white panties under his tactical uniform. His pants are down to his knees, hiding most of the white stockings that connect to the underwear. McCree is actually furious there’s only one picture of him in those, which he sends to himself. Genji doesn’t ask for a forward, and McCree doesn’t offer.

When he’s cock is aching and tenting his pants, when he’s about to take care of it, Genji shoves the phone away and saddles the cowboy’s hips, making him groan when the pressure pushes his dick down. “I’m surprised you’ve let me see your commander this way.” McCree catches the way the cyborg says ‘your commander’, as if Reyes truly belongs to Jesse. And McCree wants to clench his teeth, sink them on Gabe’s skin to truly make the statement, in front of Morrison even, without a care. “I can leave you alone, I’ve had my fun.”

McCree chuckles, “Bet you wish we saw more of Morrison.”

“Of course, but from what I’ve seen, I think I can get it out of him, sooner or later.”

McCree raises an eyebrow, “Oh, yeah? Does it involve me?”

The cyborg nods with wicked eyes, “But for now, let’s take care of ourselves.”

---

Since you’re not getting the hint, come by my office at lunch to get it back

Jesse reads the message through groggy eyes when he wakes up, and the image attached to it doesn’t process in his mind even after his vision clears up.

Gabriel Fucking Reyes, laying naked on his bed, arching his back perfectly as Jesse’s serape drapes over certain parts of his body, one being the noticeable bulge. McCree sits right up and his morning wood twitches with more pleads for release.

He doesn’t show Genji, just tells him about it. Genji smirks at him before lunch and tells him: “Go get him tiger.”

The walk to Reyes’ office is longer than other times, he even thinks he got lost at some point after memorizing every turn. His palm sweat too much and his lips go dry too often for his tongue to slide between them. He thinks everyone knows what he’s about to do, or if something’s about to happen. He took the image as an invitation, but what if it wasn’t? Gabe said he didn’t get the hint; McCree could’ve lost his chance.

The cowboy shakes his head as he reaches the door and stands straight in front of it. He doesn’t think of that. Gabriel could’ve just handed him back the serape if McCree indeed had lost his chance. There was no need of putting something like that in front of Jesse’s eyes and pulling it away. From what Jesse had seen, Gabe was needy, and once he got in the mood, he needed to be satisfy.

He takes so long to knock, Reyes opens the door for him, but instead of the soft, welcoming gaze McCree expects, Gabriel just frowns at him and shoves the serape into his hands. “I can’t wait around all day, McCree. And from your schedule, neither can you.”

“Oh,” the sound slips from McCree’s mouth and he can’t hide the disappointment as he looks down at it. He does notice the new patch up tear it used to have before he left it behind.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him and crosses his arms. “You thought it’d be that easy, vaquero?” McCree looks at him again. “Because you saw me, you think you can waltz in here and I’ll bend for you?”

“No, sir.”

Gabriel scoffs and smirks at him, obviously mocking him. “If you really want this, you come back and show me.”

---

His schedule begins with running laps with the rest of the team. He and Genji slow down, letting the rest go ahead, while McCree tells him what happened. The cyborg has a moment of laughter once Jesse ends.

“What’s so funny?” Jesse’s grumpy at the fact he was practically humiliated in front of the guy who’s at fault for McCree’s lust.

“You need to let him know how you want him. You’ve seen the way Jack does it, now you have to do it too.”

“You mean I should’ve just walked in there and taken him on his desk?”

“Not necessary. You have to show him what you’d do to him, make him want to want you just as much.”

“Alright,” Jesse pauses for a while, brainstorming ideas, but he can’t figure out. By the time they’re done running, he asks, “Do you have any suggestions?”

Genji smirks, “Glad you asked, because I do. Let the others go first to wash, run another lap with me.”

They don’t do anything on the track. Genji’s plan involves walking into an empty locker room. He turns McCree around and pins him against the lockers while he gets on his knees in front of the cowboy.

“Genji?” McCree asks, taken back.

“Record this and send it to your commander,” the cyborg says with confidence. “Once he sees you ordering me around, getting what you want, he’ll start softening up for you.”

“Are you sure?” McCree asks as he pulls out his phone.

“I am, now, tell me what to do, cowboy.”

McCree smirks down at him before he presses the record button and starts caressing up Genji’s face to his hair. Once his hand is where he wants it, he grabs at the short dark hair and pulls Genji to rub his face against the growing bulge under his sweats. His friend mouths at it, not caring of the moist fabric or the smell.

“You were so needy out there,” Jesse drawls, “so eager for me. Like always.” Genji mouths some more while he hums in appreciation. His hands slide up to pull down Jesse’s pants, but he pulls Genji by the hair to stop him, causing the ninja to hiss. “Not yet.” Genji bites his lip in response before he’s allowed to get closer again. He keeps mouthing and rubbing his lips around McCree’s hardening cock as it begins to tent his sweats. McCree shifts on his feet, feeling ready to let the cyborg take him in his mouth. But he must show his own restrain if he wants to tame Reyes. He must show he can manage such a task. It seems easy when Morrison does it, but they’ve also been doing it for years. Gabe already submits to him out of habit. McCree will be someone new to test.

Genji does a good job at looking hungry for Jesse’s cock. His pupils start to blacken as he keeps looking up to the cowboy, asking for permission. “Go on,” Jesse permits as he outlines Genji’s bottom lip with his thumb. “Take my fat cock in that pretty mouth of yers.”

Genji licks his lips and pulls down Jesse’s pants and boxers in one go. He mouths up the length firsts and then licks the veins. McCree bites his tongue from sounding so vulnerable for Gabriel. Instead he starts talking again, “All pretty on yer knees fer me. Don’t even wait for me to shower. You like how I taste?” Genji hums in appreciation and kisses the swollen head of Jesse’s cock. “Course you do. Show me how much, go on.” Genji goes to take it in his mouth, but McCree moves it away and slaps it lightly against Genji’s cheek instead. Then he draws his lips before slapping it against the bottom one. “That’s right, know when you can.”

Genji whines as McCree keeps teasing him, only letting his head near the cyborg’s lips before pulling away. McCree laughs low and gravelly, and finally settles his loaded dick on Genji’s bottom lip to slide it inside. He moans as sensual as he can, and makes sure the camera catches the way his free hand fists at Genji’s hair, pushing him to take him deeper. Genji’s mouth is scorching around him, and the fact that this video will, hopefully, be viewed by Reyes makes the orgasm in McCree coil faster. But he has to hold on.

“Mmm, that pretty mouth feels great, Gen. You use it to make yourself look big, but look at ya. On yer knees in this dirty floor, taking my big, sweaty cock in you.” Jesse’s breath stutters when Genji’s tongue flickers under his dick. “Yeah, keep doin’ that. Such a good boy fer me.” The cyborg’s eyelids flutter as his cheeks hollow.

McCree continues his drawls and sweet words as he pulls at Genji’s hair or caresses his cheek and plumbed bottom lip to encourage him. He notices the video has been going for more than five minutes and decides its enough. He grabs Genji’s head and starts fucking into him, sending a message to Gabriel that he will be in that position, that he will be used just like Genji is.

“You want my sweet seed, Genji?”

Genji moans, “Yes.”

“Good,” McCree says, hopes his smile is heard in that simple word, before he thrust one more time into Genji’s mouth and comes down his throat.

---

After that, McCree can’t seem to stop himself. Once he’s showered and getting ready for an escort mission, he lies on his bed and rubs himself until his bulge is bigger than normal. He snaps a picture and sends it to Reyes, along with the words “all ready for another round if ya need me.” Gabriel hadn’t said anything about the video when McCree sent it as soon as he was done with Genji, but he know his commander had seen it. And quickly, the photo gets the green checkmark of also being seen. The cowboy scoffs before he continues getting ready, ignoring now the hard on between his legs and how much he wants to barge into Reyes’ office to take care of it.

Next, he makes sure to take a late night shower after the mission, and record himself slowly, and torturously, jerking himself off as he speaks to Reyes.

“Been thinkin’ of ya all day,” the cowboy purrs behind the phone as he watches his own hand jerking up the length of his weeping, wet cock. “Imaginin’ that beautiful mouth of yers around this fat cock. How gorgeous you’d look on yer knees, taking it all in.” He makes sure to drawl on the ‘all’, and groans when he feels his orgasm pooling in his stomach. He can pictures Gabriel, fully clothed, on his knees, wet from the shower, his own cock restrained under his pants, but McCree won’t touch him. He just wants his own pleasure. He comes with a breathless gasp and stops recording after giving a few more gentle strokes.

It’s Genji’s idea to record them fucking on the table where Blackwatch usually does their briefing. Genji’s back is towards McCree and the phone camera, as his round ass jiggles on top of McCree, taking his cock like life depends on it, giving Reyes a real show of how needy McCree makes him.

He sends more pictures sprinkled during the week, along with messages of what McCree will do to Reyes once he gets his hands on, because he knows he will get his commander. And he lets him know. McCree can see his own confidence growing the more he does it. He’s always had a high opinion of himself, and walked the earth like he created it. But this was different. He never saw himself playing this kind of game, this kind of possession and control, less with a man like Reyes.

But now all he can think of is being on top of Gabriel, using him as he wants, and giving Reyes what he needs. If he doesn’t get it soon, he will barge in to find it.

---

It’s almost two weeks after his encounter with Reyes, and Blackwatch is set around the table Genji and McCree used last week, if Reyes remembers or feels something about it, he doesn’t let it show. He reads from his tablet the information for his agents without breaking character. While McCree, sitting in the last chair, rubs himself hard under the table, and snaps a quick picture. He sends it through his e-mail to Reyes, making sure the subject is something to catch his eyes when he sees the notification, and waits, carefully watching his commander.

Reyes stops midsentence and McCree grins in victory. Then his commander continues like nothing, but that faltering moment is enough for Jesse to know he is getting a reaction from Reyes.

After the agents are dismissed, Jesse waits to be left alone with Gabriel, and stands up, his bulge still visibly interested . He walks to his commander, making sure every step is clearly heard over the carpeted floor. Reyes gazes up from his tablet, looking from his agent’s boots, up his legs. His jaw works when he spots the image he was sent earlier, and meets eyes with Jesse, who tips his hat at him.

“Lookin’ thirsty there, boss,” the cowboy comments. “Hope you’re likin’ my gifts.”

Gabriel breathes in and answers, “Hope you’re liking sleeping on that lonely bed.”

Jesse scoffs, not letting his grin fade, “You’ve seen what I’ve done in those videos, my bed’s hardly lonely.”

Gabriel drops his arms at his sides and frowns, “No reason to need me then.” He makes a turn to leave the room, but McCree is not ready to let him go and grabs his wrists.

“Don’t be like that, angel,” McCree says as softly as he can. “Lately, all I can think about is you. That time in the shower?” McCree steps closer to him and speaks close to his ear, murmuring the profanities. “I meant it, all you, on yer pretty knees, lips plumb from takin’ my cock and eyelashes fluttering in pleasure. What’d you think got me so hard?” The cowboy pushes his hips forward just a light bit for Gabriel to feel him, but pulls away quickly to tease. He notices the man swallowing hard. “Yer body, beautiful thighs apart, hole ready for me and yer gorgeous face against yer bed as is push ya down to take me.”

McCree maneuvers them around and shoves Gabriel against the table, making sure his groin gets pushed to the furniture. He presses his own body behind Gabriel’s and continues whispering over his shoulder. “I wonder if yer wearin’ that pretty little white thing I saw in the photo, you know the one. All lacey and delicate. I could rip it with my bare teeth and release your breathtaking body to me.”

“McCree,” Gabriel says sharply through clenching teeth as his hands fall to the table for leverage.

“You look like heaven in white, sugar. And I’m the right devil to drag ya down.” He works from behind to unbutton his commander’s pants and then digs his fingers around the waist band until they end up in the curve of his lower back. Gabriel’s breath hitches and McCree smiles before he lowers the piece of clothing and slips his hand inside, ready to search what he looks for.

There’s no lace, but neither boxers. In fact, there’s no type of underwear. But McCree does find a plug tucked between Gabriel’s cheeks and he chuckles. “I see yer ready. And this early in the morning, commander?” McCree hums. “This little thing better be for me, because I’m done waitin’. Or is it for Jack?” he growls the last part and though Gabriel arches his back to rub his ass against McCree’s hardening cock, he doesn’t answer verbally. And Jesse knows it is for Jack.

His free hand comes around to grab Reyes’ chin and holds him in place. He hasn’t come all this way, held his feelings for this long, and gotten himself this deep just to have the blonde with blue eyes take it from him. “Ya better cancel on him, because I’m in the mood to hunt tonight, and I don’t care if I walk in on you two. I will pry him away n’fuck ya right in front of him. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Gabriel moans and jerks his hips again, looking for friction, for some kind of release. “I’ll fuck ya in front of the whole base just to keep ev’ry one away. Thought yer affair with Jack would continue after ya sent me that delicious picture of yerself? No, sweetheart. Once I set my eyes and hands on you, no one else can touch you unless I say so.”

When Gabriel starts breathing heavily, and McCree feels he’s about to explode, he steps back. Gabriel’s shoulders drop and he looks over his shoulder, eye blown and foggy with want. “I’ll see ya tonight.”

---

‘On my way, and that plug better still be in place.’ McCree sends to Gabriel as he’s getting ready after a nice, warm shower. He wears regular jeans and a shirt. He thinks over taking the hat, but decides to also wear it, along with the boot with spurs, he wants Gabriel to hear his hunter getting closer.

When he arrives at Gabriel’s room, he knocks and doesn’t have to wait long before the door slides opened. Gabriel stands near, arms crossed, no beanie, his usual cargo pants and boots and a thight black shirt. “Evenin’, angel.”

“Jesse,” Gabriel greets.

“I’m assumin’ we have to talk ‘bout it before we start,” Jesse says as he steps closer.

“What makes you think something will starts at all?”

Jesse’s bravado falters for a second after Gabriel’s words, but he chuckles and continues his suave stalk to the commander. His thumbs are hooked on the bell hops, pants tight to showcase the goods between his legs and chest puffed out in victory. His right hand moves to caress Gabriel’s jaw and the fact that the commander allows him tells him enough. “C’mon, sugar,” Jesse purrs as he closes the remaining distances and his breaths brushes against Gabriel’s ear. “Ya want me, n’I want ya like crazy. And I will turn ya into a madman once I’m done with ya, trust me.”

Gabriel’s Adam’s apple bobs, giving away his vulnerability, “A lot of talk.”

“N’here comes the walk,” Jesse finishes as he moves Gabriel’s chin towards him and captures his lips with his own. He tells Gabriel everything he has said through the videos in the kiss. Gabriel will be his. He will drive him crazy. He will break him. He will cherish his gorgeous body and make him scream until morning.

Gabriel answers with a kiss of his own, inhaling the cowboy’s clean scent and his head spins, the rooms feels smaller and he turns liquid when Jesse wraps his arms around him tight, not letting him escape. McCree starts pushing him back and around the small apartment until they reach the commander’s bed. “On your back, sweetheart,” Jesse orders and Gabriel obeys after giving him a quick kiss that makes Jesse smirks.

Gabriel lies down, so obedient, and sways his hips from side to side as he settles, obviously tempting Jesse to pounce on him already. Instead, Jesse undoes the button of Gabriel’s pants and his eyes widen when he sees a hint of white. “Fuck, angel,” he lowers the pants with the help of Gabriel and he sees the rest. The same white lace panties Gabriel had on the picture. Jesse doesn’t care if it looks desperate, if it’s not what Gabriel expects, he pulls Gabriel’s boots and pants off so his hands can roam freely over the tight stockings and trace the straps that connect to the underwear. Gabriel raises and lowers his knees, showing off his legs and how meaty his thighs are. “I just wanna eat ya up.”

The comment actually makes Gabriel chuckle lazily as his hand travels up his stomach, taking his shirt with him. Jesse follows it with his gaze and spots a matching chest piece under it. His pupils blown and a growl trembles in his chest before he leans over and kisses Gabriel again. The commander arcs to the pleasure, to the weight of his agent’s body over his own, trapping him in place. Jesse pulls the shirt off Gabriel and kisses down the man’s jaw, neck and spectacular chest. The lingerie pops exquisitely and obscenely. It’s a holy image disguising a sin.

“You are gorgeous, Gabriel,” Jesse praises against Gabriel’s hot skin. “So pretty fer me. So delicious and hot, angel. Mi luna.”

“Jesse,” Gabriel sounds dizzy and low on air.

“Mi cielo, mi angel, mis estrellas. Que delicia,” he continues to kiss and praise, to write words on Gabriel’s body that will fade with sweat as the night continues. He loves the way Gabriel’s body moves and the sounds from his plumb lips. He could just lie there and drink them all up until he’s drunk.

When Jesse has enough taste of Gabriel and the older man’s scent kicks in, he lets himself go. He becomes the man Gabriel saw in the videos. The smirk returns to his face as he undresses over Gabriel and enjoys the commander’s blown pupils exploring his body as he does it. Once there’s no clothing on him, he crawls over Reyes again. “There’s so much I wanna do to ya I don’t even know where to start, mi dulce.”

Gabriel’s jaw tenses, as if he wants to give and idea, but knows better. Jesse can’t keep his eyes off the man’s swollen lips and decides to kiss him again while ideas spiral in his mind. One comes to mind soon enough. He crawls and saddles on Gabriel’s chest as he hold the commander’s arms over his head. His hard, fat cock comes in contact with Gabriel’s lips as he teases him, pushing forward and back when Reyes opens his mouth. “Hungry, aren’t ya? Needy for this. How long have ya wanted to taste me, sugar? Do ya dream of it all the time?” His cock outlines Gabriel’s mouth softly and Gabriel’s eyelids flutter. “I sure can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout ya. At my mercy, with my cock in your mouth, then your little hole, dripping my come—yeah,” Jesse hisses when Gabriel licks his lips unexpectedly, brushing the tip of his tongue over the swollen head of Jesse’s cock. “Ya are beautiful, Gabe. As perfect as an angel, but dirty as the devil. Can’t wait to ruin this pretty piece, and this lingerie too.” Jesse laughs at his own jokes and gets a small groan from the commander.

Jesse actually enjoys the teasing, even if his gut coils with anticipation to feel Gabriel’s mouth around him. It still terrifies him. This is a moment he has been dreaming of for years and to finally have it coming true, it can either go bad—which he highly doubts it—or go beyond his expectations and blown him away.

When he thinks it’s enough, when Gabriel is pouting to have him, Jesse pushes inside the commander’s mouth and his world turns upside down. Gabriel gets to work quickly, lapping and sucking, mouth hot and velvety around Jesse. It’s better than his wildest dreams, greater than how he thought it would feel from his fantasies. His thighs quicker too son and he needs to hold himself with both hands planted over Gabriel’s head. The commander leaves his own hands laid where Jesse had left him, like he should. Jesse’s hips jerk, wanting more of Gabriel, wanting to feel his limits, wanting to break them. “Yeah,” he tries to speak as firmly as he can. “It’s just as good as I thought it would be.” The cowboy chuckles. “So perfect fer me, mi luna. So beautiful and obedient. Ya do this so damn well. I could stay here all night and tire that sharp jaw of yers.” Jesse rambles on anything his delirious mind can think of as long as it keeps him away from finishing too soon.

His hands scramble over the mattress until he tangles them with Gabriel’s and holds on for dear life, “Ya suckin’ the life at out me, sweetheart.” He laughs weakly and sighs, “Don’t dare to stop, Reyes. Don’t ya dare or I’ll have to wreck that throat of yers.” It’s a threat that makes Gabriel moan around Jesse, sending lightning through his cock and up his spine. “Fuck— I knew this mouth was so much better around my fat cock than givin’ orders. This is where yer meant to be, my sweetheart, on your back, takin’ me in all the way,” he drawls the ‘all’ like he did in the shower video, reminding Gabriel vividly how thirsty that scene got him, how he was about to find Jesse there and take him, but had stopped himself from rewarding the cowboy after a short time.

Jesse feels it’s enough and needs a break or he’ll collapse soon. When he pulls away, Gabriel tries to follow, causing Jesse to push him back with a gentle grip around his neck. The commander whines and his beautiful brown eyes twinkle with desire. Jesse almost gives in and lets him have it, almost.

“Now look at this,” Jesse says as he sits by Gabriel and notices the outline of a trapped cock under the lace. “So pretty and dirty, commander. My mouth is watering.” Jesse lowers and presses his mouth to the fabric, teasing Gabriel and mouthing as he coos, “I bet ya taste just as good as ya look. I can already smell ya. Sweet as candy.” Jesse hums and Gabriel’s hips twitch in reaction. The cowboy plays with the waistline of the underwear, sliding it between the fabric and the skin, causing a shiver where he touches.

Slowly he unveils Gabriel’s swollen cock and his mouth waters; it looks prettier and tastier up close and personal. Gabriel’s true musk comes and Jesse wastes no time on licking a stripe up the length. The cock twitches, finally feeling something human and intimate besides the lace, and Gabriel sighs along as his fingers dig into the mattress. Gabriel is shorter than McCree, but thicker. Jesse opens up his mouth to take Gabriel whole, not wanting to hold back or wait. His eyes roll to the back of his head as Gabriel weights heavy on his tongue. Jesse moans more than necessary, he wants Gabriel to know how good he is, to keep praising him without words. It seems Gabriel feels it all over his bones by the way he arcs and squirms under Jesse. The cowboy’s hands move over the commander, caressing his thighs and hips and wherever they can reach. Jesse traces the patterns on the lingerie until he comes across a perky nipple, so sharp in contrast to the delicate lace. McCree pushes the piece to the side so he can reach the knob and starts pinching and twisting playfully, adding a special touch to the moment between them.

“Jesse, please,” Gabriel pleads with a glossy gaze, “I need you.”

“Oh, ya have me, pumpkin,” Jesse kisses the Crown of Gabriel cock, “Just like I have ya.” Jesse pushes the pantie aside and brushes his fingers over Gabriel’s taint until he comes in contact with the plug. “Well, well, I see it’s still here, but I wonder…” The cowboy trails as he pulls away and his eyes become darker and dangerous. “Did it stay there or did Jack put it back in after using you?”

“It stayed,” Gabriel answers quickly, and Jesse isn’t sure he believes him.

“Let’s check, shall we?” Jesse moves over and grabs Gabriel’s phone from the nightstand, where he quickly spotted it when Gabriel laid on the bed. He unlocks it, using the same password. “Haven’t changed the password, huh? Ya lil tease, wantin’ to be caught n’seen.” Jesse checks the conversation between Gabriel and Jack and in fact sees when Gabriel wrote to him, cancelling their meet up because he was tired. Jack insisted on coming over and fucking Gabriel while he slept—an idea Jesse will save for later—Gabriel himself said it was tempting, but still declined. “What’s this?” Jesse asks, mocking, as he sees Gabriel sent Jack a picture as an apology for cancelling and a promise. Gabriel’s kneeling on the bed with a black lingerie, a piece that still looks beautiful on the man.

Jesse feels his chest swelling with pride when he realizes Gabriel cancelled on Jack for him. Gabriel isn’t tired at all, he’s right underneath Gabriel, gasping and begging to be fucked. Even if it was for one night, Jesse is still happy and it’s enough. He doesn’t care if tomorrow Gabriel will go back to Jack, he tells himself this is enough. When he locks the phone and looks back at Gabriel, dreamy gaze on Jesse and parted, plumb lips asking for more, Jesse is sure he won’t be able to stay away from the commander ever again.

“I want to take ya in so many ways, darlin’. Where do I begin?” Jesse brushes a hand over Gabriel’s body, admiring God’s work—and the SEP and years of training. Gabriel is his for tonight, and he’ll make sure to make it the longest night in their lives.

Jesse still grabs more lube and a condom from where Gabriel has them in the drawer of the nightstand, he whistles to the colorful toy Gabriel must have used to help him open up for the plug, but leaves it there, he doesn’t want anything else giving Gabriel pleasure but his own cock for now. He keeps Gabriel opened with his slicked fingers while he pumps his own cock with lube and thinks how to take the commander first. The many ideas break apart when he sees Gabriel’s decadent, round ass laid out for him, like two perfect hills for him to take over. He wants to pull them apart and squeeze between them, see them jiggle with every thrust and slap them until they’re red.

“Here I go, angel,” Jesse wants Gabriel as he settles on the back Gabriel’s thighs and rubs his ass cheeks. “Ready to take me?”

“Yes,” Gabriel murmurs, holding on to a pillow he pulled closer.

Jesse huffs and teases, “Think ya can handle me?”

“Please, Jesse,” Gabriel says, looking over his shoulder with a burning need in his eyes. “I need you, now.”

“Fuck,” Jesse curses under his breath, “Don’t need to tell me twice.” Jesse parts the delicious cheeks and spits into the gapping pucker before he starts sliding in. The tip of his cock enters and he grins as he decides to pull back and ford in short thrusts. He does it with the thought to tease Gabriel, but it ends up riling himself up, which he did not expect. Is the thought of not being able to push deeper, the idea that he can’t have Gabriel yet for some reason. He uses that to remain at bay and only gets a sneak peak of the hot ring around his crown before pulling away.

The man below him groans in frustration, pushing his hips back. “More,” he growls, like he’s entitled to ask.

Jesse chuckles darkly, letting Gabriel know how silly he sounds. “You’ll get what I gave ya, sunshine. Nothing more, nothing less, and it’ll be enough.” Gabriel groans again and buries his face into the pillow, partly from the words coming out of Jesse and from the little hints of what he’ll receive when the cowboy’s cock pokes his hole.

Finally, Jesse gives in and sinks deeper, watching his cock getting swallowed by Gabriel and trapped in his hot walls. “Oh, yeah… this is beautiful.” Gabriel can feel his face heating up, a natural thing in this situation. He’s exposed to Jesse now, vulnerable and free to use as the cowboy wants. There’s no turning back at this point. “I need to remember this forever.” Jesse grabs Gabriel’s phone and pulls one cheek apart to take a picture of the stretched ring around his cock. But it’s not enough. His hips starts moving and he records it. He records his soft moans and how they go higher the deeper in thrusts into Gabriel. He captures every jiggle Gabriel’s ass makes along with his hand slapping across it.

Jesse pulls out and the camera focuses on his shinny cock and a bead of come that drips out before he goes back in. He stops after a while, needing both hands to hold on to Gabriel’s hips as he picks up the pace, ramming into Gabriel, running after his own pleasure and wanting to pull Gabriel apart piece by piece.

Reyes can’t keep his mouth shut, he becomes more chatty and whimpery with time. More than in the videos with Jack, Jesse recalls. A wolfish grin forms on the cowboy’s lips as he thinks Gabriel is better with him than with Jack. They move on the bed like they’ve been lovers for decades and on the field is no different. They’ve been working side by side since Jesse joined, growing into each other’s style and filling in the missing gaps with what the other needs. It’s no surprise to Jesse it feels like the earth quakes when they clash like this. He’s been searching his whole life for someone of his level, for someone to make him whole. Gabriel is the one and he bites the man’s neck to mark him, to prove they belong to each other.

“Ya feel so good, mi luna,” Jesse pants against Gabriel’s sweaty shoulder. “Yer gorgeous, I can hardly contain myself. But I will break ya before ya break me, I promise. I’m gonna make ya feel so good, ya won’t need anyone else, but me.”

Gabriel bites his lip from saying how, surprisingly, he’s making him feel so much better than Jack has. There was something hidden inside of him that didn’t know he needed Jesse this much. He lets the cowboy use him and fuck him anyway he wants even if he won’t be able to walk. He doesn’t want to leave this behind. He’s even afraid to close his eyes and open them to an empty bed, having this all be a dream.

Jesse starts to slow down until he pulls out, forcefully. Gabriel cries to the loss and feels too empty, but doesn’t have much time to word out any protests as Jesse turns him around and kisses him passionately, drowning every word he was gonna voice. As they kiss and nibble on their lips, Jesse gets comfortable between Gabriel’s legs and pulls his thighs u around him, lining his cock with Gabriel’s entrance. “Here I go again,” he says Gabriel before ramming into him again, and Gabriel gasps in return.

This is when the bruises come. Gabriel holds on to Jesse’s shoulders and arms and bites down on his collarbones and neck hard enough to leave blooming patches. Jesse hisses and smiles to the burning, he was starting to wonder if he was good enough after seeing Jack’s bruised body, he wanted his own bruises as mementos of this night. He makes sure to leave mark of his fingertips under Gabriel’s thighs as he grips on them and continues his feral movements against the commander’s body. He moves like the wild waves of a raging ocean. Like a violent wind during a hurricane. Gabriel holds on like he will be swept away from Jesse as the orgasm builds in his gut. Jesse hits the perfect spot and his eyes widen as his brain tingles. Jesse catches the expression and laughs before he caresses the older man’s cheeks, cooing him with more words.

Gabriel’s starting to believe he belongs to Jesse alone. That he will be lost and missing a piece of him if the cowboy leaves the room. He’s not sure if he likes it yet. It’s terrifying to depend on someone that can walk away. That’s why he kept going to Jack. No matter what happened between them, they were each other’s safety net. They always fell back on their beds like nothing ever happened and their bodies would reconnect, making them feel like new.

He knows Jesse won’t walk away once this is over. He has come to know the cowboy this deeply and knows he gives it his all when he wants something. If he truly wants Gabriel as much as he says, he will remain through the night and piece Gabriel back together to break him once more when it’s dark again.

“I’m close, Jesse,” Gabriel murmurs and Jesse thrusts deep into him, both moan together, the melody of pleasure and passion.

McCree kisses Gabriel, pulling him to move on top as Jesse lies on his back. Gabriel saddles him smoothly, used to this. “Don’t look away from me, baby.” Gabriel whimpers to the name. “I want to see yer beautiful face as ya come.”

Gabriel nods as he lifts himself, desperate to ride Jesse. He holds on to Jesse’s heavy cock and sinks lower and lower, taking him by inch. Jesse’s toes curls when Gabriel sits on his crotch, his tight balls coming in contact with Gabriel’s ass. The commander sways his hips, adjusting to this new angle and his weight pushing down on Jesse instead. Jesse remembers the phone and desperately searches for it again to take a picture before he starts recording. He watches Gabriel looking lazily at the camera; high on the clouds.

“Bounce, honey, I wanna see ya move,” Jesse smiles and Gabriel blushes, but he starts bouncing in seconds. Soft jumps to starts, then lifts up to get off Jesse’s cock completely just to fall back on it. Jesse hopes the sound of skin against skin is caught on camera; it’s the perfect touch to the obscene moment. He stops recording when his hand trembles.

Gabriel rests his head back and closes his eyes, not afraid of Jesse running anymore by the iron grip on his waist. “Ya keep mesmerizin’ me, sugar.” Jesse slaps one cheek as Gabriel continues, encouraged by it more than anything. “Leavin’ breathless. I wanna pin ya against a wall. Break the bed as I bury ya in it. Fuck ya against the window, against that mirror to so ya can see yerself being wrecked by yer agent.”

“Jesse,” Gabriel sighs, his thighs quivering as his orgasm approaches.

“Nah, don’t stop,” Jesse’s grip becomes stronger as he lifts his hips and starts thrusting up into Gabriel. Gabriel’s eyes snap open from the hazy moment, getting him wide awake and aware how real this all is. Jesse is sweating under him. He can feel the cowboy’s galloping heart under the palm of his hand and his own up in his throat from the violent way Jesse fucks him.

“Jesse!” Gabriel cries as he comes. White ribbons burst to the air, across Jesse’s chest as the cowboy stops with a satisfied sigh and smile. He’s glad he didn’t reach out to record it with the phone. He didn’t want to miss a thing or worry it won’t show well on camera.

Gabriel blushes even more when Jesse wipes some of the commander’s come from his cheek and licks it off. “I’m gonna clean ya real nice once I’m done,” Jesse promises. “Now, turn around fer me, darlin’. I need to have the other great view of ya.”

Gabriel still moves even if his bones tremble. He wants Jesse to finish him off, to continue using him until he collapses. He aligns himself, lets Jesse hold and guide his own cock as Gabriel sits back to the familiar member. Jesse’s hands return to his ass, parting them and squeezing them with each bounce the commander makes. The cowboy can’t get enough of his cock being swallowed by the hot rim and the small peaks he gets of his swollen head. If he didn’t have the condom, he would’ve come already from how many times he looks at the obscene picture.

The commander stretches back as he continues to moan and make a show of it all. His hourglass figure drives Jesse crazy and his hands can’t stop traveling over every curve. He grabs the phone again and wipes the camera lens with the bedsheet before he starts recording. He coos Gabriel for him, says more filth and praises, enough for Gabriel to move the right way and bounce faster as well as sitting on Jesse for a longer time so his cock can be deeper in him. He stops the video when he’s close.

“I’m gonna come all over yer back,” Jesse informs him, aware that if Gabriel doesn’t want it, he would say so. The way Gabriel bounces faster makes him believes he wants it badly. To feel his hot seed over his skin.

Jesse pushes the commander off him lightly and grabs the phone again, feeling he won’t have time. He pulls the condom off and only needs to jerk himself a couple of times before he’s coming al over the older man’s back. Gabriel moves slowly, showing off his shoulder blades and muscles as they ripped with white strings over his dark skin. It looks as enticing as Jesse imagined. “On yer stomach,” Jesse commands and Gabriel is gladly to do it, to rest.

While Gabriel lies, Jesse has a nice quick photoshoot of the man’s still gaping hole and decorated back. He continues to call Gabriel sweet names that make him blush and words he wants to have carved in his feverish skin. Jesse turns him around and whistles to the already half hard cock poking out of the lacey pantie, and snaps a few pictures of it as well. He sends himself everything he recorded and took a picture of. He hears his phone ringing to every message and smiles to the idea that it will be like Christmas when he checks it.

Then he puts the phone back on Gabriel’s nightstand without deleting the photos and videos. He’s sure the commander will also appreciate the gifts. “If ya want, I know someone we can bring along to help out this time,” Jesse crawls closer and Gabriel meets him halfway for hungry kiss. “Just this once.” Jesse kisses him again and Gabriel whines. “Porque tú eres mi luna ahora. [Because you’re my moon now.]”

---

Jack’s phone pings when he’s brushing his teeth before bed. He smiles fondly when he sees Gabriel’s name in the notification along with the icon that he sent a photo. But his smile turns into a thin line when he sees the picture and its faced with McCree and Gabriel’s mouth around his cock while Genji Shimada fucks his dear friend and gives the camera the peace sign.

A new message comes up, a video this time and Jack doesn’t hesitate to press play. It’s from Genji’s angle as he fucks Gabriel with little mercy, holding to his hip while touring over Gabriel’s back and ass. Jack can’t help how he licks his lips to the scene of Genji’s cock, swollen under a condom, poking in and out of Gabriel. It’s a view he’s used to, but something new peaks his interest. Along the image, over Gabriel’s muffled moans, Genji speaks, “You shouldn’t have let your pet unoccupied, commander.” He sounds smug even with the cracking tone halfway when he thrust deep into Gabriel. “But you don’t have to be left out of this, Jack. And Gabriel is not the only one willing to be used by you.”

Jack huffs to the invitation, the kid has nerves. He’s dangerous, wild and unhinged. Someone who needs to be tamed by a firm hand and Jack hasn’t gotten a challenge in a while. He locks his phone, he will let them have their fun for now, let them keep Gabriel loose for the morning and Genji feeling like he’s in control before Jack puts him underneath him.

---

The sunlight starts to fade over Jesse’s closed eyelids and they flutter open. The first thing he does is smile when he feels a warm body against his own, then he remembers what happened. How he came and took Gabriel, how they both came together and let their hearts ran as fast as they could alongside each other. He looks to his other side and Genji’s there too, back towards the cowboy as he’s curled. The second round wasn’t bad either. He knew Genji needed some release after all the pictures and once Gabriel agreed he knew it was best to give him the satisfaction of being wanted by more than one person before Jesse really sinks his teeth into him.

“Morning,” Jesse sits up to the new voice and finds Jack at the foot of the bed in half a uniform like Gabriel was when Jesse came to the room the night before. The blonde examines the scene in front of him before he comments, “Seems you had fun.” He walks towards Gabe when the commander stirs and crouches down, placing a hand on his friend’s cheek. Jesse wants to growl at him, pull Gabriel into his arm. Jack already had him for too long; Gabriel wanted him now. “Did they treat you right, Gabe?” Gabriel nods with a lazy smile and Jack huffs, still caressing Gabriel, “Is he better than me?”

Gabriel hesitates, “I don’t wanna start a civil war, Jackie.”

Jack laughs, “Fair enough.” The blonde straightens and walks around the bed, Jesse follows him with his gaze as he leans over Genji and does the same. As if he was being pulled by strings, Genji the hand on his cheek until he sits up and his eyes soften to be so near Jack. Morison smiles down to him, tender, yet Jesse feels a bit of possessive towards Genji too, even if he knows he’ll be in good hands. “I guess it’s time I find someone new to claim.”

[violetbeachpod]

TRANSCRIPT: Episode Five - Aftermath

AJ:

Um. Here’s what we know. Here is what we fucking know, y’all.

It’s AJ, by the way, I’m--I’m here. Right now. Here and--

Teresa’s still gone, like--not a text, not. Nothing. We’re, like, collectively doing her homework, but she has an exam coming up, so--We can’t disguise ourselves as her. So. That’s problematic. And that’s also the event of the week. The weird happening of the day. The mystery of the moment. Etcetera.

So. Here’s my intro, and I’m still trying to figure out why we need those, like--look, guys, we’re all friends, here. Or acquaintances. We’ve seen some shit together, I think, i.e. a person we know literally vanishing into an orb of light, so, uh. Yeah. I think we’re at least friend-adjacent, at this point. Still running the numbers on that one.

So, like, I don’t see the point in it. Cuz after T went missing, I doubt that Benji’s publishing these bad boys anywhere online. Cuz, uh. This ain’t Serial. I am not participating in any true crimes. Or fake crimes. Maybe imaginary crimes, or irrational crimes, or--I only have a B in Calc, I have no right to make half-assed and half-asleep number jokes, never mind that. It--it wasn’t even clever, it was just. Lazy. And bad. And I can do better. Whatever.

Do I--do I still have a B in Calc? I feel like I did okay on last week’s--lemme check, real fast, this’ll just take a sec--Angie, your password’s--ah, yeah, nevermind, I remember it. It’s AngieCowgirl72 Exclamation Point. I remember that. No need to talk.And I made you add the exclamation point. Because security, and you use the same--Yeah, I’ll shut up, whatever, I just--lemme check this grade real fast--

[beat, typing]

Ah, shit. Shit. It went down. Shit. My dad’s gonna kill me. Lemme--uh. I can email Paula later. Gotta--gotta handle the real life stuff first.

So. My point. That thing. It’s. It’s just, that-- Um. Shit. You guys already know who I am.

[beat]

But, like, in case I go missing, or whatever, because that’s a possibility now! I guess! So. Bio. Autobio? Do people--do people shorten it to autobio? Memoir? I--I never remember the difference between those two, I think this is a memoir. So. My name’s AJ Diggs, uh, Aaron Jacobi Diggs, but, like--AJ. It’s AJ. Just--just stick with the nickname. So, uh, I’m a student and a coffee-dude, I only listen to, like, witch house and lo-fi folk punk--because. Uh. No, Angie, I won’t check out your sophomore album Refuge now streaming on most sites for free, no guest stars on this show. We signed an agreement that you would not derail my show and tell.

Well, if we’re not calling it show and tell, what are we calling it, Angela?

My point is, I’m a self-acknowledged pretentious ass, but, like I’m hardcore. Regardless.

And we need hard facts that, that’s--, I’m seventeen, I’m, uh--from Moco, uh, Gaithersburg, specifically, originally, moved here when I was twelve ish, and, uh, started over, kinda.

That’s something people do when they move, right? I think so. Cuz. I did that. I was in a pretty negative zone, back there. Great city. Great people. Terrible, godawful tweens. Just mean tweens. And teens. And kids.

So, I transferred into Corielli, been there ever since, and, uh. I live on Nightingale and Seaview, and, uh, I’m an AB blood type. I don’t know my social security number, but you can just ask my manager, like, I think she memorizes everyone’s and commits fraud constantly. And if this leaks, Amanda? I don’t regret saying that. I don’t! I know you used my debit card to buy muffins when I left it in the breakroom, Amanda. I know. And they weren’t even for me, cuz they were walnut ones and I know that you know about my nut allergy. Amanda. You know about my nut allergy.

Anyway. I’m currently recording from, because they have a mic and I do not, Angie and Teresa’s dorm, within the bathroom of which Angie is currently pacing, not saying anything, which is exactly the opposite of what she usually does, so, uh, we know something bad’s happened regardless of previous context. Just to. Set the scene, kinda. Some good visuals, and what have you, we gotta keep this as cinematic as possible. Also, this room’s walls are gray and have, like, emo music posters everywhere, so--let’s erase that and pretend it’s yellow with paintings on it. Maybe some faded pink or bright red accents. And I’m in the center of the shot. And this mic is old-fashioned Yeah, you got it. Right there.

Just got a typo-filled text about how these posters are not of emo bands, and, Angie, it’s good to know that that’s your top priority right now? Just sayin’. We agreed no guest stars, too, so, uh, get out of my recording. Dude. No texting. You can keep--pacing, and, uh, writing in dry-erase on your mirror, but. Get out of my recording.

Mae Babson The New Transfer Student came into the shop with Charlotte yesterday. If you want an update on that plot point. I think they’re together? She texted me an emoji code that I haven’t cracked yet. So I think that something happened. Also, she knows my name, which--I have not introduced myself to her. She and I do not have any classes together. She shouldn’t know that. I’m a pretty--I’m a private person. I have a mysterious image to maintain. And then, at the store, she, like, whispered her order? And I already had Charlotte’s going, like, I was pulling those shots, already, and then, she whispers her order. And I can hear, just fine, it’s just--she then says these three word, she said, uh.

[SOUND CUE 1: ACCIDENT]

[SOUND CUE 2: CONSTANT]

[SOUND CUE 3: RETURN]

Weird, right? And I took--Charlotte and I did make a conspiracy board, eventually, with yarn colors that we stole from knitting club, because Natalie Simmons was gonna make us join, and she knows that I have Carpal Tunnel, so. Our only way to get free yarn was to steal, but. Regardless. I took those words, plus that weird interference that got into Benji’s recording, which, uh, sounded pretty similar, and I’m trying to parse meaning from it, even though Char says that Mae never said those things. Which, cool. Cool, cool, but--

Again, she was whispering. She ordered a caramel frap, and she got a refill on me. Because she really is nice, like--she and Char are cute together, I just--I also think that she may or may not be some kind of supernatural entity. I support her love, I maybe do not support her whole staticky-weird-words-with-no-context thing. Y’know? Like--there are better ways to be mysterious, even. And--look, playing the bad boy or girl or neither card is tough, I know this, but. Look, there are more routes than just leather jackets or being a ghoul, y’know? Like. Maybe get a motorcycle license. Oh, wait! Mae Babson already has a motorcycle license, so, like--you already have your bad girl status. C’mon! This isn’t Party City on October thirtieth, it’s a hippie school in February. C’mon.

So, uh, I can’t find meaning out of the words, other than, like, uh. We maybe weren’t supposed to see what we saw. But--if we saw it, and we weren’t supposed to, why wouldn’t anyone else? That’s--that’s the point of the board. See, uh, there aren’t many easily accessible histories of, like--weird shit in Violet Beach, specifically. And normal history books--we haven’t dived into them, which is to say that I have literally no interest in reading them, like--Benji’s probably read them. Or Teresa, who’s significantly cooler, which would be great, if she were here. Which she isn’t! Which is fine.

I’m fine. It’s super cool that one of the only reasonable people in this ragtag gang of misfits or whatever the fuck we are is suddenly gone. Super cool. Just the best, absolutely. Not to say y’all are bad, but. You’re not reasonable. Teresa’s got brains. You have the heart locked down, got the grit, and what have you, but she’s got the brains.

Also, I was gonna be able to get Benji off my case for one night because D and D night would distract him. It always does.

Also, hi Benji. I do not want to work for you. My current job pays more than minimum wage. The one you’re offering me doesn’t. And I kinda wanna car? So--uh. Yeah. Also, I don’t know anything about sci-fi. You know this. Everybody knows this.

Also, I kinda wanted to go to D and D night. See what that was about. Teresa’s good at that storytelling shit. Was good? I don’t wanna be too much of a pessimist, but, like.

C’mon, Angie, don’t look at me like that. I--I saw it happen, she just--poof. Like, she was there, and then--I showed you the video. You saw it, you have to think, however terrifying and shitty it might feel to think it, that she’s just--she’s just gone! You think I want it? You think?

[he sighs, tired. there’s a long beat, another sigh. he’s nervous, upset, but trying to remain steely.]

Shit.

She just ran out. I think she also has Improv tryouts, but she left--she left her bag.

Love it. Loving life and being alive and all that assorted fun stuff. She’s--she’s so sensitive. God. And, uh. I love that about her, she’s--she’s like an older sister to me, I’ve--she was the only person who would talk to me, my first day here, cuz I wasn’t talkin’ to anybody intentionally and she was the only person who cared enough to try. But--Whatever. Whatever. Angela Thompson is important to me, and. I don’t need to share my sob story. I’m not that guy. But she--

God, she’s not handling this well at all, and--nobody is, cuz--cuz Teresa’s cool, and she’s good, but--I think Ann thinks it’s her fault for not stopping Teresa. And also, like--there’s--

That’s not my story to tell, it’s theirs. They’d do it better anyway.Whatever. Their lives, not mine, stand in your truth, etcetera, thank you, self-help guide parents. Gotta get back on that mindfulness grind. Take those thoughts and accept them. Etcetera. Plug for How To Become Okay With Your Potential Insignificance by Dr. Phillip T. Diggs.

Also, these two disasters, here, Angie and Teresa? They threw away the chore wheel I made for them. Who does that? I spent two entire hours of hard labor on that. As a joke. I was committed to the bit, knowing their shared hatred of domesticity and construction paper. But they tossed it. How dare they. I’m their--

Friend? Brother? Child? Dad? Something corny like that.

I don’t--I’m not their dad. That’s--that doesn’t even make sense, with like--but is time travel real, maybe?--but. Yeah. Point standing. I’m not their dad. Obviously. That’s bad and not going on the conspiracy board But--still. Look.

Yeah, I’m worried. It’s just--y’all have said this, it doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t. I’m--

Ah, God. We--I need to go find Angie. Give her a hug, or--or whatever. She.

Needs it. And I owe her--

God, if--

I’m--I’m gonna turn off the mic, now. Uh. Everyone else has done a ‘bye,’ I think, so.

Bye. Keep your eyes out. Text me if you wanna be added to the conspiracy board doc. It’s very good, ten out of ten, would recommend. Five stars on Yelp. Can you give documents Yelp reviews? Doubt it. Anyway.

So.

Okay. I--I think that we got this. All of us. We got this.

Yeah.

Bye.

[pristinepastel]

5 Things About Me Meme!

Tagged by @awakaru ! This time i’ll tag the last few people in my activity- @robtari , @tavros-tardis , and @boundtoanandroid ! 5 Things You’ll Find In My Bag: -My sketchbooks(two of them. same kind but one is vertical and the other is horizontal) -My art supply box, which is pink and glittery and used to be a makeup box that i got for christmas one year -This probly counts as two things, but my plusle and minun plushies! i also have a plusle keychain. -I have a calligraphy pen w/ multiple nibs that I haven’t used very much yet. I’ll hopefully start using it and improving when i start college this fall! -And finally, my tablet with bluetooth keyboard. No mouse or pen for it but that’s fine for now. One day though… 5 Things You’ll Find in My Bedroom: Too many things;; -I have a book bag that I only use when I travel. When I’m at home though, it holds most of my plushies! Including a pachirisu that lost an ear. Which I. Kiiind of fixed? I tore off a scrap piece of a purple scarf and sewed it over the hole with yarn. Maybe I’ll take a pic later, lollo -I keep a cat cube on my bed near my feet. It’s purple and pink, with a leopard print. The outside is a kind of messy texture, while the inside has a soft carpet on the bottom. The cats don’t normally use it but when they do i try to take pictures! -My favorite blanket! I use it to stim. When I was at high school I’d usually take it with me in my bag, as well as my scarves. It was helpful for taking naps during commons, especially after a bad insomnia bout. Also helpful during my depressive episodes- even if I’d still end up going home early sometimes. -I have various posters put up in my room- including some prints from juicyink on youtube, a kingdom hearts 2 poster i got from when borders was still around, a print of Vincent Valentine that I got in the Artist Alley at colossalcon last year, a print i got from a caricature artist i got on my birthday as well as the caricature he made of me, and some old fashioned prints made on corkbord which kind of remind me of lowbrow fantasy art. I don’t know how old they are, I think my mom got them for me at a flea market? -I also have some old drawings of mine on my walls. I used to have a lot more of my older older pics, but i took them down because I wanted to start fresh. These were from my senior year i think? So far it’s just drawings of Osiria and Dahteste so far lollo -I lastly have my desktop computer! It’s a p big screen. My dad got me a new screen, keyboard, and pc box for my birthday, after I told him I wanted mass effect andromeda once it came out. For the specs he said. He’s very enthusiastic about that sort of thing;; 5 Things I’ve always wanted to do in life: -Become a concept artist/character designer -Write a story/Draw a comic about my characters(sadly my imagination is more abstract and my minds not v suited for concrete scripting lollo) -Somehow meet and help my characters in real life. I know that’s impossible, shoosh -Become a side character in someone else’s story/video game. Not physically of course- I mean I want to play as the sort of character that supports the protagonist and helps them get a good ending. -Become a voice actor! I really enjoy the thought of my voice bringing a character to life. I’ve tried auditioning before, but I’m not very confident in online auditions like that cus my mics not the best;; 5 Things That make me Happy: -Philadelphia roll with smoked salmon, avocado, and cream cheese! My fav sushi yums;; -My cat Molly! her purrs sound like a pigeon or a dove coping and she’s so soft -Comforting and emotional characters!! Like Cole, Sandal, and Dog from Dragon Age, Jaal from me:a, Legion from Mass Effect, Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Lee from Naruto, Dogmeat from Fallout, etc. -My Mom gives really good hugs and she’s really good at emotional support! She understands what I go through cus she has depression and anxiety too. We even take some of the same prescription! I like her more than Dad cus he gets angry sometimes and I can’t really predict when that happens. He’s not hurting me or anything, he just gets loud and that makes me a lil nervous is all! -Conventions! I’m not really equipped for big social events usually, but these are usually the exception. You don’t really talk to people one on one, and you don’t have to be afraid of being the center of attention. Even buying stuff is easier cus no ones judging you for how much you’re buying or how long you’re at one booth! 5 Things I’m Currently Into: -My mutuals/followers may or may not have noticed the posts about witchcraft ehe;; It started with me researching stuff that one of my brain friends, Elisa, is into. She started out with just general tarot reading, which then developed into her actually being a witch, which led to me discovering i really enjoyed the subject lollo -Dungeons and Dragons podcasts like The Adventure Zone and Godsfall. that is too many capital letters;;; -Modern Girl In Thedas fanfics. I especially enjoy the ones where the protag discovers no one in thedas speaks english. Sometimes people write it so english is qunlaat, but my fav is that the protag has to work at learning common on their own. -I’ve gotten into playing more mobile games again, now that i have a phone that can support them;; I now have Love Live SIF, Fallen London, and the new ver of Kingdom Hearts X(fyi the x is pronounced cross in english- in japan its pronounce chi!) -I’ve been watching doodle videos lately. They’re vids where the artist just doodles random lines and patterns and shapes to fill an entire page. Sometimes there are mandalas too! Sometimes the artist talks quietly and motivationally during it like Bob Ross. if you’re curious one of the artists i’ve been watching recently is called Peter Draws on youtube! 5 Things on My To-Do List: -Finish prepping all the paperwork for starting college. I’ve been accepted, but there’s still financial paperwork to fill out lollo -Make a grimoire/book of shadows/book of mirrors. Atm, all my witchy notes are in my phone. I plan to make a cutesy decoden grimoire once i’m actually in school! -Start doing physical stuff like yoga and walking. School has a public yoga class available, and the campus has a lot of places where i can take breaks if i start feeling light headed due to the scoliosis. I’ve downloaded pokémon go preemptively to help w that -Prepare for june’s various activities! This year i’m not just going to colossalcon- I’m also going to volunteer at a convention in DC! ooo I’m so excited and i wanna pack immediately even tho i know it’s not for a month yet lollo;; my mom is also in this mood - Mmmaybe get a spirit companion? Dunno for sure yet. Not sure if my social anxiety also applies to the ethereal. A bit nervous about the constant-ness of the interaction. Need to research the subject a bit more lollo 5 Things People May Not Know About Me: -I’m really disorganized. So much so that i can’t close my closet door due to the clutter in front of it;;; -Physically speaking, I am only 5'6", I have a lazy eye, and mild scoliosis. My right canine tooth is broken as well.Im kind of self conscious about my teeth so my smiles are usually closed mouth. I also have problems with hygiene, for various reasons- for general cleanliness i just forget to shower sometimes/don’t have the motivation for it. As for the teeth, my sensory issues make it so i very much hate toothpaste. That’s why my teeth are so bad;; speaking of- -I have various mental issues. I have depression and anxiety, which has been clinically diagnosed. My psychiatrist also suspects i have mild autism or aspergers, but the test people never got back to us so heck if we know for sure. My mom, a couple of my friends, as well as me all agree i seem to have it. I also believe i have maladaptive daydreaming. This is a condition that makes it so I have very detailed imaginary worlds in my head- so detailed in fact that I get very attached to the characters in them, who I call brain friends. The daydreams get so detailed and involved that it’s sometimes hard for me to focus on stuff like reading or sleeping. Which exacerbates the insomnia i already have lollo. It’s easier for me to read fanfics than published stuff as a result, cus fanfics are basically written dreams in that sense? i’m also p bad at explaining myself with words lo l l,o;; -Despite most of my posts being happy ones, i tend to have p bad depressive episodes. I try not to vent on here though cus i’m self conscious about how others interpret that. It makes me feel manipulative. I also have trouble with asking my parents for stuff for the same reason;; -I started the positivity tag on election night. I was really shaky and anxious, but all of that was trapped inside and i couldn’t cry, so i just felt stuck there(i now suspect i was disasociating at the time?). I started reblogging all these happy posts to cheer myself up, and thanking all the people who were putting them on my dash. That’s why my positivity tag is ‘thank you’! :^)

[spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia]

Christmas Gift for a Friend

DING DONG!

 The door opens, and an old friend hears an old greeting.

 “Perry the Platypus! What an unexpected surprise!”

 He then looks at his calendar.

 “Oh, wait, you always come today! My bad! You know how it is: Once you get older, you forget important dates!”

 Perry chatters, but Doof corrects him.

 “Goodness, no! I always remember my anniversary with Charlene! I’m taking about this jar of dates!”

 A jar of dates is lifted, dusty and clearly forgotten.

 “Sorry, Emanuel: I need to be more doting.”

 Putting the jar down, two former rivals sat down and smiled warmly at each other.

 It had been 12 years, but Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus were still the best of friends.

 Doof observed his friend with a sentimental smile.

 “So, like every year, Vanessa, Ferb, their family, they’re all off on some last minute shopping. I heard that Phineas has some “Last Minute” invention that actually makes shoppers calm down?”

 Perry nodded, getting comfortable in the seat, and Doof realized that he had forgotten something.

 “Oh, where are my manners? What would you like to drink, Perry? Perhaps my world famous almond brittle moisture tea? Eh?”

 Perry pretended to think, but only for Doof’s comfort. He always ordered the same thing, but making Doof think there was a chance in hell he’d drink that almond brittle made his friend happy.

 One chatter later and Doof was at it with the coffee machine.

 “Espresso! Of course! Always on the move!”

 Doof pointed a spoon back at Perry as the semi aquatic egg laying mammal of action checked his watch. “You need to learn to relax, man! Take a day off! When was the last time? After the Master, no?”

 Perry defensively chattered, almost a little too harshly.

 “You’re right, it was at Alyson’s baby shower, my bad!”

 Doof rolled his eyes, knowing he was right, but he wasn’t going to argue with his friend.

 Today was only going to have spilled coffee and thoughts of the past!

 No need to think of changes, and lost friends, and the fact that his family and extended family didn’t come to visit as often and he was getting old and soon he’d…

 “AAARRGHHH! OW! OW! MY HAND IS HURTING, BECAUSE IT’S BURNING BECAUSE I SPILLEED COFFEE ON IT AND who am I talking to?”, Doof asked himself as his hand cooled from a…

 “’Ice’ rescue, Perry the Platypus!”, Doof laughed and Perry rolled his eyes as the ice pack made its magic.

 Sitting down, Doof gave Perry his “Fedora’s are in like ginsing” mug and quietly sipped from his “Yes, I saved the world, big whoop” mug.

 The two allies drank quietly, surrounded only by Doof’s newspaper riddled coffee table and a dinky lightbulb that every so often made a buzzing noise.

 Perry pointed at tone of the papers after a while, and Doof picked it up to remember the reason for its purchase.

 “Let’s see… Ah, yes! This was when Isabella came back from service, remember?”

 Perry half nodded, but an odd look of unease came on his face.

 Doof sighed, remembering the day. “Remember how Phineas was like that day? He had hearts in his eyes! Hearts! Like, is that even physically possible?”

 Perry coughed and Doof suddenly grabbed another paper. “And this one is from when Jeremy was touring with his band! One of the glowsticks got into my eye! In fact, it’s somewhere here…”

 Picking up a glowstick with an eye sticking out, Doof blinked with his bionic eye. “Still getting used to all the kinks. Sometimes it shoots lasers and well, I’m buying a lot of mirrors recently!”

 Once more, Perry seemed a little lost.

 “Wait, were you there? I can’t remember…”

 Perry tried to excuse himself to go to the bathroom, but suddenly…

 “Oh, and I definitely don’t need to tell you about this one!”

 In front of Perry was a newspaper clipping from only a month ago, depicting a certain Japanese-American brunette roping up the last members of the Italian Mafia that had nearly killed Perry all those years ago.

 Doof’s expectant face was however met with an uncertain and avoiding look from Perry.

 And Doof actually picked up on it.

 “…You ok, my friend?”

 Perry had to change the subject quickly, and so he did.

 “Oh, how’s Vanessa? Oh, she’s good! We’re all good, really!”

 Doof stood up and gesticulated as he looked outside, the sun shining, but also cloudy.

 “Like, just quiet days here!”

 Doof smiled, but Perry could tell something was off: The former villain’s hands shook, and his wrinkles were now more obvious.

 His breathing was also slow, as was his speech, which was most peculiar: Doof never slowed down when he was talking, unless he was confused.

 Something was up. And Perry wasn’t sure if any of them were ready for the drama.

 Doof looked out.

 There was a sun…

 But was it warm?

 Was it getting colder?

 Was he getting colder?

 “Quiet. They don’t visit as often. I’m… I’m used to noise.”

 He turned to Perry.

 “I’m used to explosions, and to…”, he continued, trailing off a little.

 Nostalgia was apparent in his tone, the glory days long gone.

 “Remember, that time, when I told you about the gnomes, and you kicked my ass?”, Doof reminded, sounding almost too nostalgic for such things.

 He continued, his hand shaking, the mug joining in the dance.

 “Remember when we fought all those zombie versions of myself, and my daughter showed me that she loved me?”

 Doof laughed. “Those were times!”

 Doof continued to laugh, but his eyes spelt danger, or, well, fear.

 Perry began to squirm in his seat. It was coming.

 Doof shook even more as he held on to the mug and looked at its insignia.

 “I… I saved the world, remember? Remember when I helped save the entire universe and future from that bastard? Remember?”

 Doof’s tone was now sharp, sad, frustrated and lost.

 Looking at his reflection, he noticed grey hairs.

 He bit his lip, as he heard church bells.

 Ringing in the new year…

 Ringing in the new…

 Out with the old…

 Ringing and ringing and ringing and bringing in the dead…

 The dead…

 The old…

 The pointless…

 His days were numbered…

 “…Remember when I had a point?!”

 CRASH!

 The mug fell and shattered, the shards shining all over and the dust stinging his eyes.

 Kneeling down, all he felt was his friends arm on his shoulder.

 “…I’m 59 years old, Perry the Platypus. My daughter is living her own life, as she should. My extended family, people who took me in at my weakest, they’re saving the world now.”

 He looked at him with sad eyes, pleading for purpose.

 “I was a villain, and I had reasons. I was a hero, and I had reasons.”

 He grabbed his friend and hugged him, tears dropping.

 “What’s my purpose now? Who am I?”

 Perry comforted his friend, and put him back in his chair as he cleaned up the remains.

 He chattered out a question as he mopped the tea away, Doof still massaging his temples.

 “No… I don’t need… Anything…”

 Doof cringed as he thought of what he did. What was he, a baby?

 “I’m sorry… I’m ruining our afternoon.”

 Perry rejected this line of thought.

 “…I guess I’m overreacting again.”

 Doof looked out at the sky again, feeling lost.

 “I just… What’s my purpose? There’s no plan, no operation, no death defying…”

 He sighed. “Not even family issues. I just… Exist.”

 Perry sighed and sat down again, concern apparent in his eyes.

 Perry chattered an encouraging line, and Doof looked up and smiled.

 “Of course I’m happy that everyone else is happy… I just didn’t realize that once all the missions are basically over, that there’s no more to being happy than being happy.”

 Doof sighed again, and decided to switch topics.

 “Why don’t we start again? How are you doing? How’s work?”

 Perry, relieved to be changing subjects, chattered nonchalantly.

 “Same old, same old, huh?”

 Doof then raised an eyebrow and nudged him. “Bet it was more fun with me, though, right? Eh?”

 Perry rolled his eyes, but chuckled. It was never as fun than when Doof was out there.

 Doof smiled and leaned on his elbow. “At least I still own your favorite arch enemy slot!”

 Perry resumed sipping his drink after all this time, but it was not its cold nature that made him choke.

 “And how’s things with Stacy?”

 The coughing went on for some time, but Doof was oblivious.

 “She’s coming tomorrow, like everyone else is, but first she’s enjoying a quiet Christmas Eve back home with her family.”, Doof informed casually, grabbing a nearby cracker.

 Perry declined the other one that was offered, as he was still a little shaken, and now worried about where this was going.

 Doof leant back and continued chatting. “I think they’re watching that creepy CGI A Christmas Carol movie? You know Stacy, she loves her horror movies!”

 Perry nodded distractedly, wishing that O.W.C.A would suddenly radio in a mission.

 “You’re going to her, right? Could you tell her that Uncle Doof sends his love?”

 Perry didn’t answer, but Doof realized something before he could ask anymore incriminating questions.

 “Oof, why am I being so lazy? I’ll call her instead! Much more personal!”

 Doof reached for his phone, but in a quick, lightning move, Perry grabbed it.

 Doof, of course, misunderstood. “Oh, you want to call her? Ah, sure! Go ahead!”

 Perry face palmed. This was NOT what he wanted at ALL.

 But Doof was expectant, and Perry didn’t know any graceful way to exit this, so he began dialing.

 The phone rang, and rang, and rang, and rang, and Perry wondered (ring) if perhaps he had gotten (ring) lucky and Stacy wasn’t going to…

 “Hello? Uncle Doof? Is that you?”

 Silence reigned, outside of the phone crackle and the occasional chirping of a bird as Doof awaited excitedly for the talk that Perry was not going to give.

 A look of longing and hesitation and regret presided on the platypuses face as he held the phone and didn’t move a muscle.

 “Uncle Doof? Hello? Is this the right number? Who is this? Oh my god, did I call myself? Wait, that makes no sense. And it can’t be God, he probably does video calls. But who would just call and say nothing?... …BUGS BUNNY?!”

 CLICK!

 The call was hung up.

 And as Perry’s digit moved back with his hand, it revealed a shocked Doof.

 Perry sat down, saying nothing, and Doof too was speechless.

 For a solid minute, nothing was said.

 The uncomfortable silence was only broken by Doof, when he couldn’t take it no longer.

 “…You’re working the late shift again, aren’t you?”

 No answer.

 “You know, she’s been asking about you. I…”

 Doof looked down.

 “I told her that it’s probably just you forgetting! You have a…”

 Doof was very uneasy. He didn’t want to do this.

 Perry’s fist was balling, his anger rising.

 But who was it at?

 “I know it’s… Not usual for me to be in the right in our friendship, but… But I really think that you should at least tell her you’re not coming…”

 Perry suddenly shot back a very rude statement.

 Full of venom. Full of anger.

 Full of regret.

 Full of “I was supposed to be better than this.”

 “…What do I know? I’ve only been parenting for about 30 years, Perry the Platypus, I think I know when someone isn’t taking enough attention of their daughter!”, Doof responded, now too angry.

 Perry did not take kindly to the “D” word.

 “I don’t care if you didn’t mean to! She’s close to you, you know that!”

 Doof approached his friend, protesting this behavior.

 “She’s made it clear multiple times that you mean a lot to her! She invited you to the wedding, to the birthdays, she has literally called you Dad!”

 Perry crossed his arms.

 “Oh, now you’re just being a big baby!”

 Doof crossed his arms and turned his back too.

 “I know I was being wishy washy before, I know I’ve got it good, and I’m just being ungrateful.”

 Doof muttered. “But at least I don’t distance myself. Why are you like this? Why can’t you just give her what she needs?”

 Perry’s tortured reply informed that he didn’t know how.

 “…You could have asked. I would have helped.”

 A tear dropped.

 “I would always help you. You’re…”

 Doof continued to cry.

 “You’re my best friend, you fool. In some ways… You’re all I’ve got left.”

 All was quiet as the two friends breathed slowly and realized…

 Perry thought of what a jerk he’d been.

 Doof thought of how dumb he was being, regretting happiness.

 They turned and…

 “I’m sorry”, they said (well, one chattered) at the same time.

 Doof sat down on the floor and sighed.

 “I was being a real jerk. Why am I even sad? I have a loving family who still visit, the world is safe, and I’m… I’m me.”

 He smiled sadly.

 “I should be happy. I guess… I guess I have no purpose. But that’s ok.”

 Perry chattered a retort, encouraging his friend.

 Doof laughed softly. “I guess you’re right. My purpose IS being happy. I’ll try not to make this one explode.”

 Perry laughed, and then looked down with pain.

 “…I know you’re better than this. You’ve always been.”

 Perry nodded, sadly.

 He chattered an… Well, not an excuse, an explanation of sorts.

 Doof nodded, understanding. “You’ve never been for emotions, I know that.”

“But you know she loves you. 10 years ago, why…”

 Perry didn’t let him finish, he didn’t need to.

 Perry then apologized.

 “Don’t apologize to me. You’ll always be great in my book. It’s her you need to talk to.”

 Perry knew his friend was right.

 And he let him know.

 “…It’s nice to know we can still surprise each other.”

 The pair laughed and looked at each other fondly.

 “I know times are changing… But we’ll face them, like we always do.”

 Doof walked towards Perry and hugged him.

 “Together.”

 Perry hugged back, and then took out the phone.

 He had a mission to get to…

    Later that evening, at Stacy’s house, a 29 year old woman in Smiley Face jammies giggled as she held her action figures of herself and of Dr. Not Sorry and played with them.

 “You can’t stop me, Agent Stacy Hirano! I am the greatest villain ever, and you are just a little girl, wishing her little Platypus would save her!”, Stacy said, imitating the villain.

 She ran around the room, pretending her figure could fly as her shiny disco shoes squeaked.

 She loved being herself.

 Took her long enough, but she did.

 “As if, Dr. Not Sorry! My dad and I are totally taking you down!”

 A sudden chatter could be heard, and Stacy absent mindedly responded.

 “Yes, that’s right! I’ll use my mini golf powers! Good thinking, Da…”

 Stacy then realized who was talking and she dropped the action figures, gasping.

 Standing in the doorway was Perry the Platypus and Heinz Doofenshmirtz, the latter waving wildly and the former smiling softly, if sadly.

 “…Oh my god! Like, I didn’t know you were coming, please, um, let me, oh man, I’m in my jammies!”

 Stacy felt shy now, and she looked around. The house was a mess, she was in the skies again, and her perfect spy platypus dad was actually visiting.

 She would have cried if it wasn’t weird.

 But she did once he said “Hi, daughter.”

 The hug was sweet, and Stacy was grinning from ear to ear once she was finished.

 “I… I…”

 She blushed.

 “I’m a lot more confident, if you want to know.”

 Perry nodded approvingly.

 “I… I don’t need you to approve of me.”

 She then smiled shyly. “But it’s nice that you do.”

 Doof then interjected. “You two catch up! I’ll make some tea!”

 “Great idea! But make mine a red bull!”

 Perry raised an eyebrow and Stacy laughed. “I can take the energy spike! I was always more mellow than Candace, just a little… Weirder.”

 Stacy then oohed. “OOOH is that a new gadget? Want to see my new treadmill? Oh, and I recently found this Sushi place, it’s EXUISITE! At least, I think that’s how you say it.”

 Doof laughed and asked from the kitchen. “And Perry, how about my world famous Almond Brittle moisture tea?”

 This time, Perry said yes.

 He was up for a new experience.

 After all, change wasn’t always so bad.