#she doesn't know how to exist without us
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Quirky representations of dementia should go die actually
#pardon me my friends i know I'm in a Good Mood today and will probably continue to be once I've taken some time to be mad/sad#but god the other night our ex-neighbour was obvs trying to comfort me#by talking bout a lady with dementia she knew who was onviously sick but in her mind she went out and did things and danced#and i was at the dinner table with my own sick lady#and therefore could not say honey. good for her i guess.#but my mum is almost aggressively trapped in her here and now#she doesn't know how to exist without us#her safe person is the husband her marriage was failing with#if we go out for five minute she panics and scratches at the door#she is sad and confused 95% of the time#content and confused the other 5%#and i can barely even visualise her as my mum anymore#because the mum who raised me would've killed herself if she knew this was coming#(like she used to tell me that. frequently tell her small child she'd rather kill herself than be unable to look after herself)#(which had a very normal impact on me I'm sure)#anyway. I'm a huge hypocrite and will still go and listen to marbles by the amazing devil and think it's the loveliest most romantic thing#and maybe some people do get lucky and find some joy in their minds when they have nothing else#but i have to just watch her brain fester and decay every day and there's just nothing quirky or beautiful about it#and all i can think is about how there's those mums who don't like raising small kids but enjoy parenthood when the kids are grown#and how that was supposed to be her#for a little while it was her#for a brief window of a couple of years she and i were each others best friend#and now she's this sad scared anxious thing shaped like my mum#who doesn't trust me as much as the man she was maybe a year or two out from leaving#and she's trapped in her brain and swiftly rotting#and it's just not cute and it's not funny#anyway#it is what it is#mr. bees speaks
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another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie
#and it's the real thing not even a knockoff#kinda surprised they still exist#but also not surprised bc Blanket. blanket is universal#i just remember a lot of those As Seen On Tv ads like. imploding within 5 years#they still do As Seen On Tv products like there are still boxes marked with that logo it almost feels wrong like an ancient relic#bc most like. ubiquitous 2000s brands from my childhood are just Gone or at least so fundamentally changed it's not the same thing#heard about like 50 more companies going bankrupt probably in the last year alone#anyway ive always wanted a snuggie it's one of those Always Wanted things that never go away#others include: staples easy button (obtained!); mini fridge (not); pillow pet (i had a knockoff once); power drill (not)#i spent a surprising amount of my childhood actually going out of my way to buy stuff i could use in my own apartment in the future#i grew up lower middle class and then just lower class#so like. i always Knew i couldn't just furnish the whole apartment at once i Knew I'd have to build stuff up over time#also bc when my sister got kicked out she had like. nothing. in her trailer. and i did not want to have nothing#i knew if dad was willing to just toss out my sister like that i would absolutely follow suit#and i did! two years younger than my sister when she was!#it just happened that my mom didn't want me homeless at FOURTEEN when i legally could not work for two more years#so she went with me and we lived with my grandma#so take that dad. turns out throwing family members out willy nilly makes the rest of your family not trust you or like you!#and now i get to rub it in his face that HE can't function in a house by himself and still needs to beg my mom to clean up after him#bc i spent so much of my childhood getting berated and called lazy for not doing chores#getting told stuff like 'you have to function by yourself your parents can't always pick up after you'#and then he's literally useless without his wife#he's not disabled and he's not neurodivergent he's never even had a serious health scare he just doesn't bother to learn how to clean#his excuse is that he doesn't know how to use the washer and dryer (it has been almost ten years fucker. learn)#or he doesn't know which cleaning products to use (you have google and a library card. LOOK IT UP)#he's the only person i get mad at for this behaviour bc he's a fucking hypocrite and a child abuser about it too#he is the exception to my rule of everyone needs to be given the space to get things done where they're able and deserve help when needed#and I'll bend over backwards to make excuses for other people so i DONT exclude them from my rule i will try to find every good reason first#he has no fucking excuse though he made two teenagers nearly homeless bc he thought we were too lazy and then he's even worse
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i'm going to a queer school event tomorrow but i'm literally feeling so paranoid about it. what if my mom checks life360 while i'm there, then looks up which event is at that location, and puts the very obvious two and two together. if i put on airplane mode to freeze my location, what if she texts me and freaks out when i don't respond for a good few hours. what if a family friend somehow spots me there and passes the information along. i really wanna go and connect with other queer people here but holy SHIT the thought i could inadvertently out myself simply by taking my phone along is terrifying.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#see like the school was very nice to put all their events on one webpage for everyone to browse#but alas everyone means Everyone and not just students#why can't it just be like. bye mom and dad see you in a couple weeks when you come up for a football game#and then no contact until then#(i know it's bc they care about me. but Actually what they care about is the idea of me they have in their heads#and if they knew i'm queer they would be Oh So Disappointed In Me. spin their homophobia and betrayal into ''''concern'''' yknow)#i guess if i froze my location i could say i was sleeping in#but if anyone calls me at any point on airplane mode doesn't the phone go straight to voicemail??#suppose i could say my phone was shut off#but like. something something panopticon surveillance something. i feel like i have to look over my shoulder constantly#for the people i'm supposed to feel safest with#and it's fucked up! it's fucked up and i hate it#(also i mention her looking up the event bc she has used that website to show me things there is to do. i Know she knows it exists#and that she's looked at it. and she's obviously invested in whether her baby girl is alright or not.#first kid to go off to college problems 👍)#the last example is the most unlikely though. a friend of MY parents?? at a QUEER event??? unheard of.#but idk i'm still scared#so that's. fun.#fuck wait actually i don't know how to get there without gps#i'll look up the route beforehand and try to remember it. shit man.
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bro accidentally kabira started playing and it made me cry lol
#i started thinking about my sister getting married and leaving so permanently that she'd never call this house her home again#but like. she's always leaving already#she left for college then job to another state and then another country#ive never felt more disconnected from her dad today casually said yeah food for 4 people#and i forgot too for a moment that we used to be 5#it's like she doesn't even exist#she's so far away she'll not even see me before my exam probably i will give it alone without seeing her#if i dont pass it will be so embarrassing i would be ashamed to face her#because she said when she went that we will be better people when we meet again okay#but im not getting better not getting worse either but im stuck. snd she could always say#something amd motivate me seeing her hardwork all day made me feel that oh i should study too#and mom keeps saying she'll come back only for marriage. like what. so it's basically over?#i don't know man i remember years ago we went to this close cousin sisters wedding and we weren't close because#dad burned all those bridges yesrs aho but we used to like her when we were kids. and seeing her made me so#emotional at random times during haldi sangeet any time really because my sister will one day go away too#i don't know how i wont cry i cry jist thinking about it now it feels so panicky#man. like fr i need my. hey stephen why are people always leaving i think you and i should stay the same#not even a romantic way aur kuch bhi chalega
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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
#I found their original stuff while I was researching various waterhorses and their folklore for no reason#because one of the characters in their original work happens to be an each uisge#and then it turned out it ALSO included a lot of figures from welsh folklore in general#so yknow if you happen to have my incredibly specific hyperfixations you'll love it but even if you don't it's great#I didn't mean to bring up phantom of the opera so much it just happens to be very relevant to a lot of my talking points#I haven't actually seen it in years
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Hiya!! 👋🏼😄 How's it going? Your fashion taste for Zuko in a Modern AU seems to be artsy, or maybe "formal" is the word. That shirt he wore when he gave Sokka romantic song advice looked Versace🧐. Anyway, I was wondering how you came up with it, he always struck me more as the type that didn´t care much about fashion, so I'm curious about other´s opinions and heacanons about it. And do you have any other fashion headcanons for the rest of the GAang? Also, their music tastes. How did you come up with them? Especially Katara's! 😍
Hello! As it happens, I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings™ about this, so I'm leaving these over here, and the rest of my ramblings down below the cut!


Let us begin with the Gaang, shall we?
SUKI always struck me as that Pretty Girl from the Gym. She is so incredibly fit it isn't even funny. She could kick anyone's ass, and we'd all thank her. She has this casual gym style that somehow always looks glorious on her, as it should! Comfy yet fashionable clothes for a nice workout or a day in town.
Her music tastes are basically any and all power songs from the eighties and nineties. (Eye of the Tiger, anyone?) She also enjoys metal via Toph, and bands like BSB, NSYNC, or Boyz II Men with Katara. My girl has a very eclectic Playlist and we all love her for it.
SOKKA is That Guy™. Loose T-shirts and shorts everywhere he goes, no matter the weather. He's stupidly into fashion but it doesn't show! At all! And everyone teases him about it. His closet is about 90% Cactus Juice merchandise, hence the "it's the quenchiest!" shirt.
His fashion and music tastes are pretty much the same. He loves poetry but isn't really into lyrics. He'll misinterpret just about anything you place in front of him. His Playlist is mostly vibes and tiktok songs he kind of enjoys. He isn't really into music...at least not as much as his sister.
AANG owns exactly one hoodie, one pair of shorts, and one beanie (THE beanie). Oh, and the crocs—don't forget the crocs. Somehow, he's always wearing the exact same outfit. Every. Single. Day. Ancient Gaang lore suggests that the day Aang goes out without his beanie, it's the end of the world.
His Playlist is the poppiest, most bizarre thing ever. Every single song is Happy by Pharrell Williams levels of happy. Yet sometimes, among the bouncy dance-to songs, you'll find the strangest of things... (He does know what Good Day by Twenty One Pilots is about. That's the reason he likes it so much, actually. And it's so weird.)
KATARA is all about sundresses and loose pants. The epitome of comfortable loveliness. Light fabrics in blue shades, careful embroidery, delicate shoes, and little to no accessories—hers is a simple, yet quite adorable, style. She just needs to add more colors to her usual palette...
She is, first and foremost, a Florence + The Machine girl. It's the Dark Goddess of the Sea vibes, to be honest. Florence Welch is her idol and yes, she will fight you about lyrics interpretation, and win. It may not seem like it, but her music tastes are also very varied.
She draws a little from each member of the Gaang, so you'll hear her humming along to Gorillaz (where did you even find out about them, Aang?), The Weeknd (I...don't think this song means what you think it means, Sokka...), and Hozier (Zuko why did you dedicate Talk to me, Zuko WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT).
TOPH...ah, lovely girl. I'll summarise everything about Toph’s fashion sense in two words: comfort and rebellion. Stuffy dresses forced on her by billionaire parents? No thank you! Give her tank tops with loose shirts and short pants. Bandaids shared with Aang, bracelets from Katara, and even piercings she got in tandem with Sokka. Shoes? What even is that?
Something I love about this fandom is our collective agreement that Toph is into the dirtiest, heaviest, most ear-splitting and soul-crushing death metal of all times. Her Playlist is full of the most obscure names to ever exist, and she can and will blast through your walls with the sheer volume of her speaker.
Zuko. ZUKO.
Even in a modern AU my boy must suffer. That being said, I envision Tales from the Couch as—well, exactly what it is: an ATLA modern AU. While there is not a war to fight, and a lot of plot lines are discarded or expanded upon, much about the core story remains the same.
This is my way of saying that Zuko still goes trough his redemption arc, and it reflects on his fashion choices.
The way you described it works perfectly because of one single reason: in this AU, Zuko is an artist. He had to suppress his love for writing and drawing because of his background and the expectations Ozai had for him (taking over the family company), and a very large part of his redemption arc directly affects his relationship with art.
In the Couch equivalent of S1, Zuko has fallen out of Ozai's graces, and is desperate to protect his place in the company and the Kasai household. He's pretending to be someone he isn't and trying to live up to his Father's image of a perfect heir while still being somewhat cut-off financially, and it shows.
He's all about imposing long coats and a semi-formal style, imitating what he knows Azula and Father would respect. He's striking and sharp and dark. But no matter how he dresses or carries himself (that air of cold superiority and arrogance)—it won't help him when he needs it the most.
In S2, Zuko has hit his lowest point. He's officially disinherited and tossed away by his father, and would be out in the streets if it wasn't for Uncle Iroh. He goes from sharp, high-tailored outfits to old second-hand clothes that hang loosely on his frame. He starts smoking and cuts his hair off, forgoing the undercut for the first time in years.
But then...Father accepts him back. When Zuko returns home, it's with respect to his name and a very high position in his father's company. He's finally the perfect Kasai heir, dressed in overly expensive suits and finery, even at home... But Father forbids him from wearing Lu Ten's earring, and Zuko can no longer recognize himself without the familiar glint of gold dancing on his peripheral vision.
When Zuko leaves the Kasai name behind him and goes back to living with Uncle Iroh...he's finally at peace with who he is, and what he wants in this life. The sharp edges aren't gone (they'll always be a part of him, after all), but now they're dulled by looser clothes and softer hairstyles.
He's an artist, and for once in his life, he is determined to pursue his own ambitions. Zuko's outfits may not be designer-made anymore, but he takes what he has and makes himself look like he wants to look, like the person he wants to be.
He doesn't read fashion magazines or keeps up to the latest trends like Azula does. He's just...Zuko. And his newfound confidence makes everything he wears look like it belongs on him.
As for music...well, Ursa raised a literature boy.
He loves lyric-heavy music and natural voices, be they soothing or powerful. Dissecting song meanings and possible interpretations with Katara is one of his favorite parts of the day. They're both very passionate and strong-minded individuals, so it stands to reason that their debates can get quite...heated.
Zuko's Playlist is both incredibly eclectic and somehow very...him. There's a common thread that binds together every song and artist he likes, and he's hilariously unaware of this. To take a look into his Playlist is a higher honor reserved only for those closest to him.
In the wide spectrum of things, it is no wonder that Zuko is, first and foremost, a Hozier man. But though Andrew is his God in all aspects of this life, there's someone else that has had a huge impact on him...
Two someones, actually.
Zuko refuses to tell anyone how he got into Twenty One Pilots, but it's kind of a moot point when the beginning of his obsession is nothing compared to everything that came after. They have just about the right amount of everything that makes Zuko...well, Zuko. The poetic lyrics, the soothing or raging music, the heavy, intensely resonant themes...
Up there, in the second artwork, I placed an album cover behind each period of Zuko's life. The election of these records is intentional, as I feel like their general themes work incredibly well with Zuko's arc and growth.
Blurryface in S1. For the demons within us. For giving a name to our fears and shame.
Trench in S2. For escaping the confined walls of a depression city, and fighting to understand the depths of the map of your mind.
Scaled and Icy in the first half of S3. For returning to places you had left behind. For convincing yourself and everyone around you that you're fine, that you're perfect, even though everything is crumbling inside...
Clancy in S3. For recognizing that you can backslide, that you can have fears and shame and pain—but you're shaping yourself with each step you take. For knowing that seeking help from others is okay. Nobody learns to walk on their own.
(And, in the end, you'll always be better than the person you were yesterday. If only because you're still here. You're still alive. You're still yourself.)
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Overall, I rambled a bit too much, don't you think?
If you made it all the way down here—thank you so much for reaching out and being interested in this crazy AU! I hope you enjoy these ideas and tell me some of your own ❤️
#dema answers#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#katara#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#tales from the couch#atla modern au#the gaang#aang fanart#atla aang#avatar aang#aang#suki fanart#atla suki#suki#sokka fanart#atla sokka#sokka#zuko fanart#atla zuko#katara fanart#atla katara#toph beifong fanart#atla toph#toph beifong#toph#twenty one pilots
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deep sigh.
#yes zari hours again#how she thinks she's already dead and doesn't necessarily know (or wants...? knows she wants...?) to move past that#bc she is simultaneously so desperate to be real but so scared to be alive#like she is living. right now. air goes in and comes out and blood circulates. but there's this invisible pane of glass in between her-#- and the whole world and she's maintained it so fastidiously#and only really one person pre-campaign has touched her through it even briefly#and now little cracks are starting to appear and she's so - doesn't know what to feel! what to want!#how to want in a way that doesn't feel like organ removal!#she has no real social defenses. she's a walking bundle of contradictions. she wants to learn how to be totally independent#so that she never has to learn if the Want is real or if it's just a byproduct of this sickening weakness in her#(zari you must learn we live in a Society. You Live In A Group Now)#so when she says 'i will most likely die because of xyz' that's.#a) years of conditioning from her not-father. years of being told that she's too unstable to exist without him#b) being so fucking scared of what it means if she doesn't get to die. if she has to Live.#but then there's also c) she's told herself over and over she accepts that she will die but there's that miserable kick -#- of every breathing Thing in her that thrashes against it so violently. she doesn't know enough yet. she hasn't seen enough.#she hasn't heard enough music.#she used to think she just wanted to die with a little bit of dignity salvaged from her inherent weakness. reclaim Anything from Him.#now she doesn't know. but if she doesn't die then she doesn't know what else there is.#and she Thinks that maybe if she's perfect about it she'll get to be this outside observer because she's so sure she's Forever Outside this#existence. she does not Get to be alive. but maybe she can watch other things be alive for a little while. learn about them.#something something she thinks she came Into this world (from elsewhere)#but she came out of it. she is part of it like a wave is part of an ocean. can she figure that out before this life bleeds away from her.#hi anyway :) gamers#zari#pop campaign
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one of the most evil parts about me being told that i needed to lose weight before i could get my diseased gallbladder removed was that without telling me at all whatsoever, the physician's assistant who was responsible for my surgery consult silently gave me a referral for bariatric weight loss surgery. she told me that i'd have to get my gallbladder removal surgery with that department as well because they're used to working on bigger bodies.
she told me this, but that's not what she meant. she wanted me to get bariatric weight loss surgery all because i told her that i have poly cystic ovarian syndrome and that it's hard for me to willingly lose weight. when i called the bariatric surgeons about scheduling my consult for my gallbladder removal, they were extremely confused and were like "well is this for the bariatric surgery referral or the gallbladder removal referral?"
without my permission, without me asking, the physician's assistant silently signed me up for weight loss surgery that i never consented to. i never once mentioned wanting this surgery. i never once mentioned that my weight is affecting my health or bothering me. this person saw this as a mandatory step in order to get the surgery to remove my diseased organ. as if there were no other options. i never want to get bariatric weight loss surgery because i know it will completely devastate my health. this PA was so stuck on my weight. she could not get over it, she was literally obsessed. she did not care about my health, safety or well being, she was just obsessed with her hatred of fat people
she saw my weight as a higher priority than my diseased gallbladder. she was so stuck up her own ass that she was convinced that my weight was doing more damage to me than my gallbladder was. she wanted to keep blaming me for eating a high fat diet (i'm a vegetarian- i don't eat a high fat diet) and mocking me for being fat. she literally saw me being fat as a bigger issue than the fact that i had a literal rock stuck in the neck of one of my organs. if you ask me, if the surgeons and anesthesiologists have problems working on fat patients, that's a skill issue on them. that means you're a bad surgeon or anesthesiologist and you need to try to improve your skills. this is a literal skill issue, it's not the patient's fault that the medical professional fucking sucks at their job!
i can't describe to you how evil and insidious that is. the fact that she looked at me and went "oh my fucking god it's your weight that's the problem just go lose weight you fat asshole" just showed how much disregard she has for her fat patients. it's like she relishes torturing us or leaving us to be sick or die. there's no reason to behave this way. there's no reason to FORCE someone into weight loss surgery. my health is NOT being negatively impacted by my weight- gallstones are not caused by being overweight, and you can't give yourself gallstones. no matter how much fat you eat you can't give yourself gallstones- this is something that happens outside of your control
i hate medical professionals who are proudly fatphobic. they wear the fact that they let people remain sick and die as a badge of honor. like they're doing the world a favor. like staying sick or dying is better off for the patient. like the patient somehow doesn't "DESERVE" to be in good health. fat people DO deserve to be in good health. we DON'T have to "EARN" surgeries or life saving procedures. we are alive and human just like everyone else. this qualifies us for being cared for medically, no matter what. leave your prejudices at home. you can't just kill fat people because you don't like that we exist.
#cripple punk#crip punk#cpunk#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronically chill#our writing#fatphobia#fat liberation#fat lib#about us
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Hi hi! Can we have a baby reader that has a habit of biting, headbutting and crying whenever the Batfamily is in their costumes? The baby absolutely loves them and always clings onto the family,follows then around even when they're busy (sitting in Bruce's lap while he's having a online meeting,clinging onto Damian while he paints and draws with one hand, sleeping on Jason's lap while he reads, ect.) but the moment they put on their masks/helmet she instantly stars sobbing, throwing things and hiding from them and if anyone tries to hold them when they still have their costumes on they instantly try to bite or headbutt them?



ᯓBatFamily × Baby Reader ( Platonic ).
SYPNOSIS: Their beloved baby sibling cannot remember who they are under the mask.
IMP: PURELY platonic. Wayyyy longer then I wish.

Your mother died shortly after you were born and your father ran away after realising your existence.
Being a teenager your mother knew she couldn't care for you, as much as she hated to send you off into anothers arms it was for your own sake.
She couldn't be selfish and make you go through a terrible life of poverty and without a father as well.
It happened during a massive earthquake, a building for struggling pregnant teens collapse.
Batman was there to save life along with his children, your mother went into labour due to stress and unknown circumstances.
It was tragic, she had you there and before she could even glace at your face the light left her eyes...
Before her death she begged for Batman to hand you over to someone caple of loving you like how she had hoped to, he tried telling her she wouldn't die yet she knew... She chose you to live as she doesn't see a reason to be breathing if you can't be by her arms.
She rather stay with you even as a ghost.
Batman looking at the newborn crying at his arm's unlock unwanted feelings and memories and decided to raise you himself.
The rest of the family love's you, your precious smile and especially the way you would cling onto them.
You love warmth and affection, completely different from when you were born cold and empty.
Walking on your legs as you would follow after anyone that even glace at you, it was hilarious.
You have extremely short legs, swinging your hand's while you try to run towards them with loud whinning for them to notice you.
If they didn't notice you, you would simply sit down on the ground hard with a thud and fold your arm's, staring at them with the best frown you could manage with. Sitting there sulking in silence unless or until someone pick you up.
Dick love's to teach you acrobatic moves knowing damn well that you can barely run not without almost tripping and falling on your face, you weren't the most athletic baby.
Throwing you up in the air and catching you and then spinning with you, he just loves to hear that adorable giggles of yours you made whenever he does the most dangerous stunt with you.
Sitting you down on the couch as he does a handstand or a flip or anything as you would clap your hands together. He would try to make you do backflip which always ended in him getting hit by Barbara who would took you away from him.
"Look at our little performer! Aren't they the most impressive performer?"
Dick would show any of his sibling of your standing on his hands or you hanging onto his arms.
You would watch him train and even try to train with him which he cannot help but smile at.
You trying to reach the bar that literally felt like it was in heaven cause you saw Dick performing tricks on it, using all your strength trying to pick up heavy weight.
You would not let him train by himself, you felt a deep sorrow seeing him training by himself so you help out as much as possible.
Like, clinging onto him while he did some pull ups, surprisingly your grip is very strong and tight for your age. Resting your head on his shoulder, looking like a baby slot holding onto it's mother.
Or how you would try to hold onto the to dumbbell while he's using it to become he would probably be squished by it if you don't help.
After a few minutes you would be off to napping on the couch exhausted and tired.
If you don't felt like being with Dick you simply go to the next option, Jason.
Jason was alot more gentle scared that he might accidentally hurt you, he does always teach you about on how to be street smart, you don't understand anything he say's but you like to listen.
Seeing him read you would left everything behind to accompany him cause no one is left behind. Always blessing them with your heavenly presence.
Climbing onto the ridiculously talk couch known as the ' reading couch ' Jason would watch as you struggle to get up, it was adorable from his view and it was climbing mount Everest on your part.
You arm's can reach it yet your legs have a hard time trying to get up, when one leg is on the couch you just couldn't lift the other. You wouldn't ask for help either, you rather not seek help from the want needing you.
After you managed to climb the couch you would plop down on his lap or take one arm and warp it around you leaning onto him, looking at the written book infront of you... You can't read.
Jason would simply continue reading in his mind and would even aks you if you finish reading it before turning the page, knowing that you infact cannot read. He knows that you made up completely new word and story.
He's reading Pride and Prejudice you're reading about Baba Black Sheep.
At the Batcave while he's repairing his bike you would Crouch down next to him like his assistant, pointing at gears and nodding along.
Sometimes it's the most comfortable silence he ever had or he's just teaching you about gears and how to fix them.
Hell, he even lables the tools because you don't have the worst memorization factor.
Helping you fix your toy bicycle using toys while being extremely serious.
"Seems like you barely clean the gear, look at this mess, I didn't raise you to be neglecting your prise possesion like nothing"
"Look, touch the tire and feel it... flat, very flat, dangerously flat... We need to pump it up before you get into trouble and cry"
You nod your head vigorously, barely understanding on why he is making you feel the bicycle wheel that is solely made of plastic.
Tim was also your favourite.
You would sit on his laps as he work, the computer lighting up the place, doesn't matter how busy Tim was you always managed to slide in on his arms and just watch like a clueless raccon.
Talking to you about his case and you don't even catch half of the thing he's rambling about yet still nodding along.
If he is studying you would study along side him, holding onto the pencil and lining the alphabet while Tim was busy learning for exam.
Showing him your work whenever you are done and him rewarding you with a head pat.
He even let's you play dress up on his computer while hes taking a break: He's brainstorming there is no break.
His computer consisted of gruesome documents and records and there is also tons of dress up games, making cake, classic games and barbie movies... Safe to say, he pirates alot of barbie movie for your sake.
"The unicorn is her sister? That's beastiality"
"Reminds me of Damian... Must be his secret twin"
Seeing him drink energy drinks and coffee you have been begging to drink as well, cause whatever he does you do it as well no need for questions.
And as a result, he wrote 'Monsta' on a mug he bought you and pour you a drink whenever he drank them, and you would drink it proudly.
It was just mineral water that tasted like fruits, you'll have your first energy drink with him to cheer and witness the start of your addiction.
Damian on the other hand was the most serious of the bunch.
Hes an actual eagle, always there whenever you want hug or attention or even to be love. Scoop you up in his arms and left without a word. He will not have those vermin judge him for treating his siblings with love.
If he saw any of them putting you in danger do not be worried he have been luring behind the darkness before shit can get serious. He's the second shadow of yours ready to pound onto anyone who put you in danger.
He's very serious about your well being and mental state.
Although he did hand you weapons at such young age to train with, you can't blame him he started out young to so if you start young he could be much at ease .
Much to his dismay Bruce doesn't want you near violence in his defence it wasn't violence if they annoy you first.
Now you two are secretly learning how to fight with very very small progress, you cannot even hold onto a small stick for a minute a katana... Was something else.
He's absolutely protective of you since you're an incapable baby, if you see something flying at you you'll just meet it face first cry ahd forget. Have a higher chance of being kidnapped.
It's his absolute duty to protect you from harm, no one lays their hand on you without his permission... He will not tolerate insolent and mannerless people and he will make sure you do to.
Holding onto you while he paint, he never complaint no matter how uncomfortable it was because a good soldier never complaint for their comfort rather they suffer for someone they love.
You would nap in his arm or simply watch him perform his art, it was a quiet comfortable moment... It was a special time for the two of you to bond peacefully.
"Unicorn?"
You asked him, looking up at him who's eyes were still on his the Canva.
"I knew you weren't an intellect child but isn't this out of line even for you?"
"Uni"
"Alright, a horse with a corn on it's head then..."
He can't deny you when you don't even have the brain to register what he is saying, and not because he wanted to spoil you abit... and raise your standards.
Your father was usually busy, busy being Bruce and Batman at night. Since you're a baby it was alot harder for him to spend times with you.
Usually he could do that by spending time's during patroll but he won't allow a child to be a vigilante anymore.
As a result he tried to glue you to his side when he is free, although he wasn't a good father he tried.
He sometime doesn't understand what you are meaning to say and your siblings would have to translate it for him. Although he would try to figure it out before asking them.
Watching anything you enjoy doesn't matter how childish it was Bruce would sit down with you and watch it very seriously. Noting down whenever you laugh or bored for future special times.
Going to the local playground with you while all the mom's stared at him, muttering praise and complements for being such a good father while being single.
He knew they were staring at him since he literally is Bruce Wayne at a public playground, because he doesn't want to spoil you too much and wants you to have normal friends.
Pushing you on the swing, waiting at you at the end of the slide, pretending not to see you while playing hide and seek and even playing along with you during roleplay. He sincerely wanted to be a good father to atleast one of his children.
Unfortunately or fortunately he doesn't see you as a distraction from anything just a responsible he absolutely loves. That means you're everywhere he is at... Gala, outside and even meeting.
You would sit on his lap facing his laptop with a drowsy look on your face, playing with his fingers while he doesn't even seem to know that you are there.
His employees couldn't help but take pictures secretly, you don't look so enthusiastic about the meeting and even falling asleep occasionally. Yet Bruce would only acknowledges you to make sure you were comfortable and not too bored.
Well you did join his meeting because you honestly missed your father but that was a one time thing, now it was mandatory for you to be present during meetings cause you were the joy and happiness for him.
"If we don't have the available resources now our competitors will surely take advantage of that and left us with nothing"
"...Boss? are you listening?"
Bruce who was busy trying to settle your head to a more comfortable position while being as gentle as possible.
"Yeah, hear you... Just have to do some important work continue"
Yet as much as you cling and hold onto them whenever they are going to go out without you. You would freak out with their mask on.
Hiding behind Alfred holding onto him for your life looking at the strangers infront of you, to you they just ate your family. Your family goy eaten by those masks and God were you scared.
Dick would try to find a solution... To hold you then put the mask on but to no one surprise you freak out even more.
Struggling for dear life and even smacking him, tears already forming at your eyes terrified about the fact that your older brother just got eaten infront of you.
Then he would took it off and it took you a great minute to realise he was back from the death. Hold onto him suddenly and cry harder.
Jason terrified you the most, his head was literally engulfed by the helmet of his. You would try to save him by throwing anything you could grab and hold onto.
Grabbing the book closest to you and throwing it at him which barely hit him, hit him as hard as you could while he just stood there unbothered. Alfred would be the one making sure no one wear their complete costume near you.
You couldn't recognise them even if they wear it infront of you it'll make it much more worst. Biting onto them if necessary and headbutt them as hard as you could and it does hurt you and them.
You did headbutt Jason once you never did that again and he couldn't stop laughing after you did it, just the sound of metal being hit ring and utter silence... Followed with the Alfred picking you up before you could resistered the pain.
At first they thought it was just you being stupid and the more you see them the easier it would get... No, it got worst.
You're fully prepared by the time they had hoped for you to stop, thankfully you were strong enough to conflict any pain but you could pull hard enough to took some hair out, bite them or headbutt.
Your favourite was to just ran away while calling out for them not knowing that the person you were running from was the one you seeked.
#dc#x reader#fanfiction#fanfic#fiction#dc x reader#jason todd x you#dick grayson x you#tim drake x you#dc batfam#jason todd x reader#dc fanfic#platonic#dc fanfiction#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#batfamily#batfam#tim drake x reader#batfamily x batsis!reader#batboys x batsis#batsis!reader#batfam x batsis#dick grayson x reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd fanfiction#damian wayne x batsis#damian wayne x you#dc fluff#batfam fluff
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•·.·´`·.·•• You're Lying (and other things Sam won't stop saying) ••·.·´`·.·•
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Warnings/Tags: language, mild suggestiveness, comedy, romance, light-angst, found family, slow burn payoff, excessive teasing, established relationship, Sam being annoying
Trope: Everyone thinks you're not really dating. You are. No one believes you.
Word Count: 2.0K
Author Note: Guys this is just like my last one, this is to help me mentally prep for an AP exam tomorrow morning so if this is bad I am so sorry. But I hope you enjoy this nonetheless <3
Please do not copy or translate any of my works. Thank you!
You and Bucky were dating.
Like- really dating.
In the 'he's seen you at your absolute worst and still kisses your cheek like he doesn't look at you any differently' kind of way. The 'you keep an extra toothbrush at his place and he makes your coffee how you like it without asking' kind of way. The 'he pulls you into his lap during team movie nights and smiles against your shoulder, murmuring words into your ear like it's not the most dangerous thing he could do' kind of way.
And no one believed you.
Especially not Sam.
"Oh, come one," he said, flatly, as he walked in on you and Bucky curled up on the couch. "This again?"
You blinked. "We're watching Pretty Woman, Sam."
"You're spooning."
"We're affectionate."
"You're not even kissing! He's probably just cold. You know he runs cold. Like a cyborg space lizard or something."
Bucky growled. "Cyborg space-?!"
"Right," Sam interrupted. "Sure. Keep telling people you're dating. I'll be over here living in reality."
You buried your face into Bucky's neck. "I hate him," you mumbled.
"You love him," Bucky corrected with a sigh. "You just want him to validate our relationship."
"I want him to believe in our relationship. There's a difference."
Sam, in the kitchen, called out: "I don't!"
Bucky flipped him off without looking.
~~~~~
The problem wasn't that you and Bucky didn't act like a couple.
The problem was that you didn't act like a normal couple.
You didn't post mushy selfies. You didn't wear matching shirts. You didn't coo pet names across conference tables. You just... existed. Comfortable. Quietly in sync. The kind of romance that felt more like a heartbeat than a firework.
Too subtle for people like Sam Wilson, apparently.
"You didn't even kiss when you got back from that mission," Sam pointed out, a few weeks later. "She was gone for five days, man."
Bucky, polishing a knife, didn't look up. "I kissed her afterward. In private."
"See, that's the problem! You hide it. Makes it look fake."
"I'm sorry," you snapped. "I didn't realize our love life was for public broadcast. Want us to livestream the next one?"
Sam looked delighted. "That's a strong reaction. I hit a nerve. This is faker than Tony's allergy to gluten."
Tony called from down the hall: "It's real, you bastard!"
~~~~~
At first, it was funny.
Then it got exhausting.
You weren't insecure about your relationship- Bucky made sure of that, every day, in a dozen quiet ways. He cooked for you. Kissed your temple. Held your hand under tables. Brushed his thumb along your jaw like it was the most precious part of you.
But still. No one believed it.
Not Nat, who called it "convenient physical proximity."
No Clint, who claimed he'd never seen you kiss with tongue (as id that were a valid benchmark).
Not even Steve, who offered a gentle "Are you sure he's not just emotionally dependent on you?"
It all came to a head one night at a bar.
You'd just finished a mission and everyone was letting off steam. Sam leaned against the bar counter beside you, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"So," he started. "You and Barnes still 'dating'?"
You narrowed your eyes. "Yes."
"Hmm. Okay." He sipped his beer. "So if I leaned in and kissed you right now, he wouldn't deck me?"
You stared at him.
"Try it," Bucky said darkly from behind, voice like cracked gravel.
Sam smiled. "Still not proof."
Bucky grabbed your hand. "You want proof?"
"Bucky-" you warned.
"No, no. He wants a show. Let's give him one."
He yanked you flush against him, hand cupping your jaw, and kissed you.
Not a polite kiss.
Not a we're-dating-I-swear kiss.
A I-know-every-inch-of-your-mouth-and-I-love-you kiss.
Hot. Possessive. Unapologetic.
You melted into it, clutched his shirt, kissed him back with something that sounded like a whimper because Jesus.
When he pulled away, Sam blinked. "...Okay. Damn."
"Believe us now?" Bucky raised a brow.
Sam blinked again. "Not really."
You grabbed a pretzel stick and stabbed it into the foam of Sam's beer. "I hope you step on RedWing."
~~~~~
Even after that, the teasing didn't stop.
Because of course it didn't.
"You probably practiced that," Sam said a few days later.
"What?"
"That kiss. You planned it. Just to throw me off."
Bucky rubbed his temples. "You are the most annoying man I've ever met."
"You're just mad I cracked the code."
"There is no code!"
You yanked open the fridge, pulled out a tub of frosting, and started eating it with a spoon. "I actually cannot live like this."
Sam pointed at the spoon. "See? No real girlfriend would let her boyfriend see that."
"Bucky bought me this frosting."
Bucky looked like he was about to get up and beat the shit out of Sam if he didn't start walking away.
~~~~~
Eventually, you gave up.
Let them believe what they wanted.
You and Bucky still kissed behind closed doors, curled together on the couch, whispered sleepy confessions after long days.
Until-
One night, you got sick.
Really sick. The kind of body-aching, fever-drenched flu that turned you into a grumpy, sniffling, corpse with a bag full of used tissues beside your bed.
And Bucky took care of everything.
He brought you soup. Rubbed your back. Helped you shower when you were too weak to stand. Brushed your hair out of your face. Slept beside you even when you told him not to.
Sam stopped by to check on you and walked in on Bucky holding your hand while you slept, forehead pressed to your wrist like he was praying.
He backed out slowly.
Didn't say anything.
Didn't tease.
Didn't breathe.
The next morning, there was a small gift basket on your nightstand.
From Sam.
With a card.
"Okay. You win. He loves you. I won't say another word. P.S. Please don't tell anyone I'm capable of this level of sincerity. I have a rep to protect."
~~~~~
You- of course- showed Bucky the card.
He smirked. "About damn time."
You kissed him with a smile.
And this time, no one questioned it.
~~~~~
The peace lasted exactly five days.
Five beautiful, uninterrupted days.
No teasing, no smug side-eyes, no Sam accusing you of being part of an elaborate CIA cover operation. Just you, Bucky, some early morning kisses over coffee, and one blessed evening where you somehow convinced him to slow dance in the kitchen to 40s music.
And then Sam broke into your new apartment. One you thought would give you full time peace compared to the Avengers compound.
(he claimed he "used the spare key." You knew he just picked the lock.)
"Morning, lovebirds," he smiled brightly, leaning against the doorframe like this wasn't the worst intrusion since Ross kissed someone else while he and Rachel were on a break.
You stared at him over Bucky's shoulder, still wrapped in his hoodie with sleep-mussed hair and a mug of tea between your palms. "It's 7:13 a.m."
"I brought bagels."
"And chaos."
Sam strolled in. "And relationship advice."
Bucky looked up from the couch, dead-eyed. "Why?"
"Because now that I know you two are the real deal, I gotta make sure you stay real."
You rubbed your temples. "We're not a gas leak, Sam."
"No, but you're both stubborn and weirdly avoidant and emotionally repressed, and frankly, I'm impressed it took me this long to be needed."
Bucky mumbled, "I'd rather be waterboarded."
Sam ignored him and slapped a notebook onto the table. "Step one: scheduled communication check-ins."
"Oh my god-"
~~~~~
You tried ignoring him.
Didn't work.
Because Sam became relentless. He started showing up with couple's quizzes.
Brought you a deck of 'relationship conversation starters.'
Installed an app on Bucky's phone called 'LoveTracker.'
("It's like Find My iPhone, but romantic," he said. Bucky installed it in twelve seconds.)
And worst of all- he documented everything.
"Bucky," he'd say mid-mission, "when was the last time you complimented her non-physically?"
You stared at him. "Non-physically?"
"Yeah. Like her intelligence. Or her moral compass. Or how she hasn't murdered me yet."
Bucky rolled his eyes. "I call her my girl every morning."
"That's possessive endearment, not a compliment."
"I tell her she's smarter than Tony."
~~~~~
Somewhere around Week 3 of Sam's Unsolicited Couples Therapy, something unexpected happened.
He stopped being annoying.
(Okay, no. He was definitely still annoying.)
But... he also started being kind of helpful.
Like the night you and Bucky got into your first real fight.
It wasn't explosive. Just sharp. Quiet. Full of jagged silences.
You'd been on back-to-back missions, and Bucky had started pulling away. Fewer cuddles. More brooding. Less talking. You tried to be patient- God, you tried- but when he snapped at you for asking what was wrong, it all unraveled.
"I'm trying to help," you said, voice trembling.
"I didn't ask for it," he muttered.
The room froze.
You didn't cry.
You never cried in front of him.
But that night, you shut your bedroom door behind you and curled up alone.
Bucky didn't come in.
Not until morning.
But Sam came over first.
~~~~~
He found you on the balcony, hoodie pulled over your knees, cold tea forgotten beside you.
He didn't say anything at first.
Just sat down next to you, offered a granola bar.
Then, quietly: "You know, when Sarah gets mad at me, I do this thing where I pretend I'm not scared I'll lose her. But I am. I always am."
You looked over. "You think Bucky's scared?"
Sam tilted his head. "That man loved you like it's gonna be taken away from him. Like he's holding something he thinks he shouldn't have. So yeah. He's scared."
You didn't cry.
But you breathed.
And it helped.
~~~~~
Bucky apologized that afternoon.
He stood in the doorway, fists clenched, breathing hard like it took everything in him to walk in.
"I'm sorry," he said. "For being a coward. For making you feel like you weren't wanted when you're the only thing I ever want."
You looked at him.
He stepped closer. "I never learned how to let myself be... this happy. It scared the hell out of me. But not as much as losing you."
You opened your arms, and he came apart in them.
That night, Bucky fell asleep with his hand on your heart.
And you whispered, "You're safe with me."
~~~~~
The next morning, Sam dropped off muffins.
"I told you you'd fight eventually," he said smugly.
You grabbed the muffins and shut the door in his face with a smile.
~~~~~
Over time, you adapted.
You didn't expect Sam to be a normal friend, he didn't know how to do that. But you did start to appreciate him as a part of your life. Your weird, overinvolved, chaotic platonic marriage therapist.
He became your sounding board.
Your crisis texter.
Your sarcastic but loyal brother figure who threatened anyone who looked at you funny and called Bucky 'lover boy' just to watch him twitch.
One night, you all sat around a campfire during a retreat mission. Quiet stars. Crickets. Steve snoring faintly in the background.
Sam looked over at you both.
"You know," he said, voice softer than usual, "you're actually really good together."
Bucky looked at him. "Took you long enough."
"Yeah, yeah. Shut up. But I mean it. You make him more human," he said to you. Then, to Bucky: "And you make her feel protected without caging her."
You blinked.
Bucky squeezed your hand.
Sam threw a marshmallow at you both. "Don't get soft on me. I'll revoke my own compliment."
~~~~~
Months later...
You stood at the edge of a field after a joint mission, hair tousled, laughing with Bucky as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
Sam walked past, muttering into comms.
"She's in love, he's in denial, and I'm still unpaid for all their therapy."
You smiled to yourself.
You were real.
You were loved.
And you had the most chaotic friend group in the world.
Which honestly... was kind of perfect.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes x female reader#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes x reader#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes x f!reader#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x you#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes one shot#bucky fluff#bucky x female reader#thunderbolts#x reader#bucky x reader angst#keithyp00#Sam wilson#falcon#marvel#steve rogers
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DRAMIONE FIC RECS + WHY YOU SHOULD READ THEM — 100k+ words edition

hogwarts: a home by coralcollective — reimagined horcrux hunt. draco is so down bad for hermione and the smut is crazyyy. theo/hermione friendship. pansy is the breakout character and you'll love her. there's nsfw art and inappropriate use of the malfoy signet ring. please check the tags! (it says incomplete on ao3, but it's only missing epilogues so don't be afraid of starting it)
word count: 372,978
chapters: 67/70
the commoner's guide to bedding a royal by olivieblake — god, this fic!!!! it's a modern royal au and the ensemble of characters make this whole world feel so alive. it's inspired by will/kate and harry/meghan and it's sooo cute. theo and daphne were the breakout characters and i love them dearly. if you're looking for a lighthearted romcom-esque, occasionally angsty (because duh!) fic, this is it!!! i probably read this in two days which is insane considering the word count, but that should just tell you how lovely this whole fic was. there's a second part to this if you're itching for more afterwards (and it's just as good!)
word count: 503,570
chapters: 45/45
draco malfoy and the mortifying ordeal of being in love by isthisselfcare — honestly if you haven't read this yet..... this is god tier. a CLASSIC. this should be taught in the schools. hermione's a magical researcher / healer and draco's one of the best aurors out there. he's assigned to protect hermione because she's in the midst of a big discovery. hermione's not happy about it and draco isn't either. slow burn!! idiots in LOVE!! forced proximity!!!!! EMBEDDED ART!!! honestly this is the fic that made me want to learn how to bind which is so serious and if you haven't read this yet you need to.
word count: 199,548
chapters: 36/36
the disappearances of draco malfoy by speechwriter — this is my new canon. it's a deathly hallows rewrite where draco accepts dumbledore's offer to fake his death and go into hiding with the order. enemies to friends to lovers. i honestly can't even remember what happened in canon because this is IT for me.
word count: 289,780
chapters: 33/33
this world or any other series by olivieblake — includes clean (book one) and marked (book two). anything by olivieblake should be a must-read, i swear to god. this one starts as a year 6 slow burn. draco and hermione are assigned partners for potions and it all snowballs from there. olivie writes so beautifully and her characterizations for hermione / draco are so good. slight warning for marked: this destroyed me and i pretend it doesn't exist, but it's still a must-read.
word count: 118,892 & 178,268
chapters: 31/31 & 39/39
rights and wrongs series by lovesbitca8 — you want fluffy dramione? read the first two parts of the rights and wrongs series. you want dark and heavy dramione? read the auction, an alternate universe of the fluffy dramione, where voldemort wins and they all get auctioned off to death eaters. please check the tags for the voldy wins au! all three were chef's kiss and coming from someone who isn't a fan of dark aus, reading the first two helped me get through the auction because you know where draco's coming from / what's in his head. you can just read the auction without reading the first two parts unless you like catching parallels and having more depth / context (which i very much love).
word count: 174,911 & 160,297 & 325,876
chapters: 36/36 & 24/24 & 41/41
#we can also call this my dramione reading log honestly#dramione#draco x hermione#dramione fic recs#draco malfoy#hermione granger#draco malfoy x hermione granger#dramione recs#talk to me about dramione because i have more recs and i will take recs i never tire of reading about them
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Calm and Serenity (Part 5)
Sylus x Non!MC
summary: you didn't know what sylus saw in you. he said you were calm, quiet and serene and that's what he needs. you believed it. he showed it. not until little miss hunter came. she's everything you're not. news that she's in danger can make the ever so calm sylus to run and leave everything behind. it made you think, would he do that for you as well?
tags: angst, romance, hurt and comfort, confused sylus, non-mc reader, mentions of death/dying, cursing
taglist: @fknblsht @aboobie @nin10doo @ixloom819 @damatically @sylusgirlie7 @stellisangelicus-world @kira-loves0905 @wanderlustingcastaway @browneyedgirl22 @lumieresdreams @babygirl-panda19 @picnicinthegarden @96jnie @xxfaithlynxx @wrimaira @reni502 @lazypostfandomer @augustdxjiminx @hey-airam @vevlvtcherie @marquitas-en-verano @ma-cherie-lovely @zeskyzed @imnikki @shiorihoshino @mentaltrouble2201 @sylustoru @imaginarytheatre @seris-the-amious @zoyadarling @sanghyuksgasolinestationscream @young-adult-summer @iamawkwardandshy @r0ckb1n @openthenyoor01 @malleus-draconias-rose @syyyy4ever @yutterfly @xsammijoanneex @reni502 @animegamerfox @hao-ming-8 @angelicspaceprince @codedove @bxtchopolis @nommingonfood @esylwen @phisen @gojosbedwarmer @rubyninja1 @lemonn015 @cordidy @blueesmiski @yunhogrippers @sleepykittenenergy @thatsbunnysmind @lumi-s-garlic @splaterparty0-0 @soulaandshere @sillyfeeakfanparty (OMG I CAN'T TAG ANYMORE HELP)
note: one last part next. and a big thank you to the love on this series. y'all make me wanna cryyyyy 🥹🥹🥹
Masterlist
Sylus eyes flickered over the screen scanning every area in N109 Zone’s security cameras hoping in one of them he'll see you but for some reasons he can't.
The frustration is slowly creeping to his skin. He doesn't like the obvious fact that you left him with no explanation, that he is too late. That it took him long enough before giving you the assurance that you needed.
But most of all, he didn't like it that he inflicted such an amount of pain on you that you had to leave him quietly.
For every moment that passes without any news of you, Sylus can feel the anxiousness in him double in numbers. He won't stay still. He needs to find you now.
He grabbed his jacket and was about to get his keys when he heard footsteps approaching his directions.
He hoped that it was you. That you decided to finally come back and maybe hear him out. He quickened his steps but when he saw the red link on his wrists glowing, immediate disappointment consumed him.
“Sylus, I kept calling you but I was sent straight to voicemail," she said with a pout.
“MC, now is not a good time. Please take your leave." he coldly said.
It made her frown and he knew that she's not used to him saying no to her. But it had to be done. He didn't define a proper boundary before and now his life is a mess so even if it's late, he will do his best to straighten up his act.
Maybe if he did this the heavens would smile at him and make you go back to him.
“MC? I thought I'm Miss Hunter? Or Kitten? What happened? Did Mephisto throw that away by the window?"
He just stood there unmoving. Hearing her say that is an additional punch to the gut. Sylus didn't hide anything from you including this. And even if he can't control what he feels, he should've taken control of the things he says.
It's not right to call her those pet names when you exists and it must've been hell for you to hear that rolling off his tongue so naturally.
"I said leave.” he finally managed to get a word out of his mouth.
“Why? I thought we were spending time together to establish our connections? For us to get synced when using our evols?” She inquired with an obvious irritation in her face.
If it were before he lost you, he might have laughed and teased her about it and will add a little bit of sass to rile her up more.
But now? All he can think about is how insensitive he is. An asshole even.
No wonder she left.
No. He can't think like that. He needs you back and he will do everything to see you tonight.
Sylus took a deep breath. He can feel his brows twitching. Every second wasted here is a risk for your safety and what if you come back and see her? What would you think?
He doesn't know exactly why you left but he is not stupid to not know that it has something to do with Miss Hunter.
“I don't want to have any connections with you," Sylus answered.
“What do you mean?"
“See this link?" He asked and showed her his wrist.
“Yes. That connects us, right? You, me, grew from the same soil, kindred spirits like you said." She recounted their previous conversations.
“Good. Now I want us to get rid of it. I want you to get rid of it."
Sylus can see the gears in her head turning at every word he says. He knows he's asking for too much. She doesn't even remember cursing him but Sylus is desperate. He needs to find you and he needs this connection to finally be broken.
He can live without half his soul. He's been doing that for a while now, but he cannot live without you.
"Are you out of your mind?” She exclaimed, "I don't even know how we got tied together and now you want me to break it?”
Sylus is losing hope. He doesn't want her to remember. What's the point? It will hurt her, it will make all of this complicated … but he also needs to break free from this curse.
He will make this conversation quick. He needs to get this out of the way.
“Y/N is missing," he said. “She left me and I know it's because of my own stupidity, but it also has something to do with this bond, MC."
“I-I don't understand,"
“I will explain, but not now.” Sylus met her gaze making sure she understands every word he says, "A lot has happened in the past and it had something to do with a curse that binds me to you in every life we live. And you know what's the worst part? We're always doomed. We don't get to be really happy. I always end up dead and you end up killing me … grieving me.”
Recalling it all, it leaves a bitter taste in his tongue. Always cursed to die, to suffer. To love her but always end up dead. It drained him of hope, of joy, of life.
"It made me who I am today because of all those experiences. Living day to day just to wait for the time that I'll die. But that changed here. It changed because of Y/N. I get to experience the things that I thought I was desensitized of. She made me hope that I can break free of this cycle.”
Sylus held her hand. Begging.
“So please, think of it. Help me find a way to break this cycle."
With a single tear and a shaky voice he begged. “Please let me go."
"Let me go!” You screamed and tried to kick Luke and Kieran. "Get off me!”
"No can do, Madame. You need to go home. Boss Man is going crazy looking for you.” Kieran said. "He's flipping the base inside out just to find you.”
You groaned and rolled your eyes. “Ah so he does remember I exist? I was so close to being free and you just have to drag me back."
Indeed, you're so close to leaving the N109 Zone. Just one step and you're out of their radar but just before you can run, Mephisto’s blocking your way followed by Luke and Kieran.
“I know you've been having a hard time lately and the boss is really at fault. But come home for now. It's dangerous out here. He has a lot of enemies and they won't hesitate to use you to their advantage.” Luke said. “Plus, he has alerted everyone of his trusted alliances and the whole base to guard every entrance and exit in N109 Zone. Even if you manage to step outside you'll be dragged back home.”
“Fine. I guess I have no choice." All that running and hiding just to come back to base and it's not because you want to, but because you can't. You're sure that the moment you run, Mephisto is already tailing you and alerting everyone. Plus, you can't really outrun a bird.
“If you really want to leave, and you have enough reasons, Boss is not heartless enough to cage you. I know that you know it very well." Kieran said, his voice surprisingly gentle.
You didn't give him an answer. You just walked with them to their car and closed your eyes. You can hear the twins updating Sylus that you're with them.
Right … Once you get home, you have no choice but to face the inevitable. You planned to just leave him be and let him live his life with Miss Hunter, but he just has to find you when you don't want to be found.
You're too busy thinking of every possibile thing that you'll say to Sylus and didn't notice the time it took before the car stopped in front of his home. Luke and Kieran left you saying something about giving you privacy. You can't really tell. You're not paying much attention.
Just as you were stepping down from the car, you saw Miss Hunter. Anger bubbled in your chest. You're here being dragged back home with the thought that he's looking for you because he cares but then you're gonna see her here?
You were about to march back to the car when you saw the state that Miss Hunter is in. Her eyes are puffy and red. Looked like she cried. Once she saw you, she avoided your gaze and muttered a brief “I'm sorry," and left.
It was weird. What's happening?
Behind her you saw Sylus running for his life. Immediately, you thought that he's running after her. That's the natural order of things right?
“You're back, you're really back." His hard body slammed yours and you were engulfed in a tight hug. You can feel his erratic heartbeat and his shaking hands that cradle the back of your head.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need anything?"
You looked at him. Your heart is splitting in two.
This is your Sylus. This is the Sylus you loved. The one who only looks at you. The one that loves you.
He's back.
But why now? Why now when you decided that you're done? You tear your gaze away from him.
“Sweetie, please say something." He begged, cupping your cheeks to make you look at him.
“I know I have not been a good boyfriend, but please hear me out, okay?” His voice breaks as he talks to you. You can hear fear, desperation and sadness in them. “I love you, I really do and I'm choosing you. I'm choosing us —”
A hiccup escaped from your lips. Since when did you start sobbing? You didn't know. But your tears are free flowing now. All the hurt that you kept hidden is now out in the open.
“But you left. You left me. You chose her. You always choose her." you said. Like a kid who lost her precious toy, you cried and hit Sylus's chest. “I know everything. You don't have to lie. Sweet Evil Trap, huh? Half of your soul? I know that. I read them in your journal."
“How can you tell me you love me when you have her? You were waiting for her. Not just once but in every lifetime." You sobbed as he pulled you to a hug. He didn't say a word. He just let you pour your heart out.
“All I wanted was one dinner with you. A time for just the two of us, but you're so ready to ditch me because she called. A-and I realized that no matter what you say, that no matter how much you tell me you love me, I can't really compete with her because you don't love me as much as her."
You tried to pull away from him but he just held you closer.
"That's not true, no, no, I love you. No one else. It's just complicated, darling. We have this bond —”
You snapped and pushed him away.
"That stupid bond again! How many times do I have to hear that? How many times do I have to be slapped by the fact that I do not have any connection with you? That you need to discard me as soon as possible to be with your soulmate!?”
He grabbed your wrist when you tried to walk away. “Listen to me first! Yes, there's a bond connecting us but I want it gone! AND IT'S NOT A FUCKING SOULMATE BOND IT'S A CURSE!"
He raised his voice at you and that made you shut up. He never yells at you. This is the first time. And you expect anger to fill his eyes but it's pure sadness and pleading that you give him a chance to tell his truth.
“Sylus,"
“It's a curse, alright? She cursed me to always have my soul tied to her. Yes we did have a past, it was beautifully tragic. She had to kill me. I had her kill me so I could save her. But it gets tiring over time. It gets tiring to always live just to die. I relived that life multiple times and I was not happy anymore.”
You see his tears flowing now. You want to wipe them away but you're stoned in place still trying to process what he said. So when he kissed your hand, you didn't pull away. You saw that it gave him a little relief so you let him continue.
“And then you came. You came and changed everything. For once, I wanted to be happy again. To be selfish again. To live for as long as I can just to be with you. I may have been a fool as of late, but that's the life that I was accustomed to.”
"Once she's here, I know it's a matter of time for me to die and I willingly throw myself in there. Because that's the fate I have to live. And this bond? This energy linkage makes sure that I hurt every time I try to defy my fate. But because of you, for once I have the desire to take control of my life again.”
You cannot stop crying now hearing all of that. He wipes your tears with his thumb and planted kisses on your temple. You mustered the courage to reach for his face and wipe the wetness off his cheeks. He leaned in to your touch savoring every moment.
“I talked to MC, I asked her to help me break the curse she bestowed upon me." He said kissing your palm. “I'm choosing you, sweetie. I'm choosing this life. So please, please let me make it up to you?"
You take a deep breath. You have decided.
"I love you. So, so much,” you gave him a quick kiss. "And thank you for choosing to live your life as your own.”
His hold on your hand tightens, "Baby, please.”
"But I still need to leave.” New waves of tears flowed from the both of you. "I know that you're telling me the truth and you're genuine, but the problem here is not just in your situation with MC but with the conflict on myself as well.”
"Sylus, I'm insecure and I'm having a hard time accepting that you're choosing me. In my head you're saying this because you're guilty. Because you're a good person and you can't bear to see me hurting so you're sacrificing your own happiness just to cater to me.” you said.
“Do you see the point I'm making? I acknowledge your bravery for choosing us, for choosing your happiness, but I also have to make this decision, Sylus. The hurt I felt won't be mended and healed just because you told me all of that. So I need to go away for some time. To heal, and find it in myself to trust you without any speck of doubt. You get me right? If I don't do this, I will just end up hurting you more because I am broken.”
“I need time, Sylus. Time to process and heal. And if by the time we see each other again and you're still feeling the same thing and I am as well, then maybe we'll go from there."
It was hard for Sylus but he knows that you need this. That you both need this. So despite not liking the idea of you leaving and the fear of the possibility that you won't be back, he nods his head. It was his own fault that you're thinking that way. He broke you and mere words are not enough to mend your heart.
He will live his life as his own. He will hope that you will keep him in your heart because he is sure that he won't be able to find anyone to love aside from you.
“I understand, darling." he replied, “I am so sorry for putting you through that, but please know that I love you and if ever you find it in your heart to come back to me, you know where to find me."
That same night, you packed your bags and left the N109 Zone. Sylus took you to Linkon. He remembered looking at your back as you walked away. Your shoulders obviously shaking as you cry.
That night was the night that Sylus felt the loneliest he has ever been. That night, Sylus wished that you'll find happiness and come back to him.
But if you don't?
Then he'll just be content and happy that even for a brief time it felt like he truly lived again.
OMG last part? Hmm Yes, No, Maybe so?
Reactions, reblogs and comments are welcome please let me hear them. Thank youuuu
#love and deepspace#sylus x non mc#lads sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x reader#sylus#lads fic#fanfic#l&ds#lnds
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Thinking about designationless reader...
Imagine how alone she must've been for all her life. It started since she was young, her parents pushing her to the corner of the home, away from the family, and naturally, her siblings would follow their parents' lead, pointedly ignoring her, and finding any excuse available to be out of her presence. She wouldn't understand them anyway, she can't tell the difference between noises nor could she even recognize scents. It just wouldn't work.
Reader thinks that maybe she could find someone, anyone in school, but kids are like sharks, except instead of smelling blood, they smell the lack of all scents on her. Most kids have a combination of their own and their family members' scents. Reader has nothing, so everyone continues the pattern, but now with more stares and jeers and hushed giggles. Reader knows that bullying is bad, but anything would be better than simply not existing to anyone. That's what the others say, at least, that she's nothing, nobody. Never to her face, though, just in the whispers shared between friends.
She eventually tries to find others like her through the wonders of the internet. There's maybe a handful more scattered in her country, but none are her age, and all have their own families who care about them. Was it just her who wasn't deserving of love, of connection? Reader reaches out to them, and they talk a little, but before long, through no one's fault, it falls through. She was bad at talking anyway, even if she doesn't have to worry about scents or sounds that aren't there, she never knew much about context or connotation. She never had the opportunity to learn about the intricacies in communication. Reader is back alone.
The military eventually scouts her, and it's the first time anyone has ever really looked at her. Sure, they look at her like a valuable tool, but a tool is better than nothing. Reader obviously joins, desperate for crumbs. She climbs the ranks, gets the job done. She is good at her job, so people respect her. She learns how to talk professionally, emails, texts, and so one, but no one talks to her on leave. No one invites her to the pub after a good mission. No one even talks to her in the mess. But people do talk to her when they have to, and that's enough. Maybe she even gets a callsign. Doe. After Jane Doe, the placeholder name for unknown individuals, and insult if anything.
Now there's the 141. They invite her to things. They talk to her. They touch her. Reader exists for them. She isn't just an unknown person stuck in the background and invisible to everyone else, and Reader doesn't know what to do. Her speech is awkward and overly professional, even in personal settings. How is she supposed to be friends with someone, multiple someones? How is she supposed to move? To act? To express? She doesn't know, but she really wants to learn. At least now she has good teachers.
ANON YOU GENIUSSSS okay but this? Perfect. AHHHH I ADORE THIS IDEA!! Esp the jane doe callsign omg yes
You weren’t used to being seen.
Growing up, you learned quickly how to make yourself small- how to exist quietly, without taking up space, without asking for too much. Because the few times you had asked- asked for a hug, asked to be let into the nest, asked why you felt so different- the answers had all been the same.
No.
Not now.
Not you.
It wasn’t that your parents didn’t love you. You were sure they did, in their own way. But love was hard to feel when your mother flinched at your touch like you were something disgusting, when your father sighed like he was tired every time you entered the room as if you were taking up space he was saving for his other children. When your siblings built their nests without you, curling into piles of warmth and safety while you sat outside the door, knees pulled to your chest and hands balled into fists to keep them from knocking, a cold ache burrowing itself in your chest.
You stopped knocking eventually.
You stopped trying.
You used to wonder if you’d done something wrong- if maybe you could fix yourself and everything would go back to normal. But it wasn’t something you could fix. It was just… you.
Scentless.
Designationless.
Invisible.
School had been worse, perhaps the worst. At least your family had pretended not to notice how different you were. The other kids didn’t bother pretending. They stared openly, whispered behind your back, laughed when you walked by. You’d caught bits and pieces of what they said- weird, wrong, broken, as if they hoped by having you hear their words, they’d convince you to leave at last.
You’d started keeping your head down after that, slipping through the halls like a shadow. No one talked to you unless they had to, and even then they either did it with a mocking, jeering tone that echoes in your nightmares or with a meek tone; as if your lack of everything is contagious. No one sat next to you at lunch, either. When partners were assigned, you always ended up working alone per your teachers’ instructions.
It was easier that way.
At least, that’s what you told yourself.
By the time you joined the military, you’d gotten good at being alone. You didn’t need friends. Didn’t need packmates. You had work, and work didn’t care if you were quiet or awkward or too stiff to laugh at the right jokes. Work didn’t care if you flinched when people got too close or froze when someone raised their voice. Work demanded to be done, and you had nothing and no one to stop you from that.
But the military also has the same teens who used to bully you so consistently. Rookies all to ready and happy to lord over you. It’s how you get your despised callsign, Doe. Jane Doe. A cruel mockery, comedy wherein you are the joke that has the world laughing.
Still, you wear it. It’s still an acknowledgment and that will always be better than never being seen. You flit from team to team, unit to unit, always an observer from afar, watching everyone around you speak a language you can’t.
But the 141 was different, when you eventually end up working for them.
They cared.
They cared in ways you weren’t ready for.
Soap was relentless, dragging you into conversations even when you barely knew what to say. He filled the silences like it didn’t bother him, kept talking for the both of you, lounging against you unbothered, until you started talking back. Gaz was gentlest, steadier. He never pushed, just lingered close enough to remind you he was there, waiting, whenever you were ready. Quiet, silent acceptance you’d never been given before, and you were yet far too afraid to so easily cling to it.
And the Alphas- Price and Ghost- were worse.
Price had a way of looking at you that made your chest ache, like he saw you, really saw you, and didn’t mind what he found. Scentless, with no designation and all. Ghost was quieter, sharper, but his eyes tracked you everywhere, presence wrapping around you like he was staking a claim you didn’t understand, like he was teying to etch every part of you behind his eyelids.
You didn’t know what to do with it.
They didn’t give you space. They sat next to you at meals, tugged you along when they went out for drinks, called you over during breaks like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it felt natural- until it didn’t, because sometimes you still felt like an outsider.
Like you didn’t belong.
You tried to hide it, but they saw through you. They always did, and they never shied away.
When you started avoiding the mess hall, it was Gaz who caught you, shoving a plate of food into your hands and dragging you to sit with him like it wasn’t a big deal. When you hung back during missions, letting the others fall into their pack dynamics without you, Soap was the one who looped an arm around your shoulders and pulled.
And when you flinched, once, at the sharp sound of someone’s voice echoing down the hall- when you tensed so hard it made your fingers tremble- it was Price who closed the distance, standing in front of you like a wall and letting Ghost linger at your back. Neither of them said a word.
They didn’t have to.
You weren’t used to being protected. You weren’t used to belonging.
But they made it hard not to.
#noona.asks#cod x reader#cod x you#cod#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#tf 141#cod imagines#noona.writes#cod omegaverse#john price x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#soap x reader#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x you#poly!141 x reader#gaz x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#simon riley x reader#soap x you#simon riley x you
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Eddie calls him about ten minutes after he finishes unpacking. And Buck doesn't—panic. He doesn't! He has no reason to panic. Tommy doesn't know a damn thing about him and Eddie. And Maddie, well. She doesn't know anything either. Not this.
Nobody but him and Eddie—and Chris—understand what they are to each other, and that's okay. Buck made his peace with that long ago. Long before he even knew he liked guys. Which. Not that that matters or has any sway on his perception of his and Eddie's relation—friendship. They're just BuckandEddie. Doesn't need to be any more than that. Just his best friend.
All this to say: when Eddie calls, he doesn't panic. He takes a very respectable three deep breaths, tries not to grimace at the leather squeaking under his ass and hits the green button with a hand that absolutely isn't shaking.
Because he's not panicking. He's happy. He's so happy. He gets to talk to Eddie. For the first time since he left. Why would he be panicking? Because of some stupid assumptions from an insecure ex? Sure, right. Like he'd ever let that touch him and Eddie.
Competition, he thinks, like Tommy ever could have competed with Eddie Diaz.
"H-hey, E-eddie." Buck isn't sure why he stumbles over Eddie's name. He's had enough practice over the past few days. Said it enough times in his life that it should be able to slip out seamlessly every damn time.
"Hey, Buck." And there's Eddie sounding sure and confident and a little tired and warm and soft and so much like his best friend. Buck aches. "Just finished unpacking. Told myself I couldn't call until I was done. Incentive, y'know?"
And Buck grins. Grins so big his face hurts and he forgets all about the stupid leather couch underneath him. He imagines the two of them unpacking at the exact same moment, finishing in the same breath, still in sync even 800 miles apart. And then the second part of it hits him. Calling Buck his reward for menial, mind-numbing labour. The idea of hearing Buck's voice getting him through all the organising and reorganising and rereorganising. Fuck, he misses him.
"I, uh, I-I actually just unfinished packing too," Buck replies. A beat too late maybe. Doesn't matter. Eddie huffs a laugh, nothing matters but that.
"No shit. Should've known it'd take us a while to shake off the synchronicity." And Eddie's voice is so warm, so fond, it soothes the ache of the inevitable loss of their bond. That special tie between them that never let them stray too far soon to be severed. And then, like Eddie can hear him, "still a team even two states apart, huh?"
"Always a team," Buck replies, too soon this time probably. Doesn't matter. Not when he can hear Eddie's smile.
"How's the house treating you?" he asks, words shaped into something beautiful by the curve of Eddie's lips. But still, Buck's heart drops right out of his ass.
How does he answer that?
I missed you so much I couldn't sleep here without you. I didn't unpack because the house still feels like yours. The house still feels like yours because I wish it was. Yours. I couldn't sleep because you weren't snoring down the hallway. And the one night I did sleep here I had to fuck my ex as a distraction just to try and forget that you should be the one in that bedroom.
But he can't say any of that. He can't.
"Uhhhhhh." He blinks. Has forgotten every word in the English language.
"Buck?" Eddie's smile is gone.
"Why'd you stop talking to Tommy when we broke up?"
Silence. Fuck.
"He broke your heart, Buck," Eddie says slowly, evenly, too controlled. Hiding something. "Why the hell would I talk to him?"
"B-because. You guys were friends before me and him got together."
Eddie's straight. Tommy scoffs. Friends.
"And I promised to have your back five years before I even knew he existed," Eddie replies simply. "There was no competition there, Buck."
Oh. Oh, shit.
"How, um, how did you find out about that anyway?" Eddie asks when Buck's silence stretches on too long. "Not that it was a secret or anything. I just... I didn't tell you because I didn't think it mattered. And I know you didn't call Tommy, so..."
"No, n-no, I didn't call him." And he didn't is the thing. Didn't call him to apologise like he said he would to Maddie. Just. Let it lay.
"What aren't you telling me, Buck?" Eddie sighs. Buck misses his fucking sighs.
"Ravi called him. Well, found him. At the bar. And brought him over."
"Jesus Christ." And Buck can see him clear as day, bridge of his nose pinched between his thumb and forefinger. "Remind me to send Ravi a strongly worded e-mail on how to be your partner."
Buck kind of really wants to read that fucking email.
"We slept together," Buck blurts out.
Silence. Fuck.
"You and Ravi...?"
"No." Buck barks out a laugh. A startled sound. "No, not Ravi."
"Okay, okay, good," Eddie breathes out. "Because that would not be one of the points of the e-mail." Buck snorts again. Sobers instantly. Gets a sharp little pang in the pit of his stomach. No reason. "So. Tommy."
"Yeah." Buck ducks his head. "Tommy."
"Did you..." Eddie struggles with something for a moment, and Buck finds himself sitting up straighter, bracing for whatever comes next. "I mean, did you... When you... y'know, did you go to his or-or... yours?"
Buck bluescreens. Blacks out maybe. What the fuck?
"Um, y-yours or, no, mine. M-mine. It was closer. To the bar. And I—" And he what? What? What is it lurking in the shadows of his brain, slipping through his fingers like sand every time he thinks he's close enough to hold?
"Okay." Eddie says it like he's taking a punch.
"Is-is that, I mean, th-that's okay, right?"
"Well, I don't know if I'd classify sleeping with your ex as okay." Eddie makes some sort of noise. Half anguished and half furious. "Where the hell does he get off—" your bedroom, Buck thinks deliriously "—hooking up with the guy who's heart he broke?"
"He didn't break my heart, Eddie." Says it. Realises it's true.
"Oh, yeah, sure."
"He was scared I was gonna break his, remember?"
"Dumb," Eddie says succinctly. Buck snorts.
"I'm not getting back together with him or anything. It was just a one time thing. You don't have to worry about me showing up on your doorstep to brood again."
Silence. Again. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
"I think I'd be okay with it, if it brought you to my door," Eddie whispers.
Tears sting in Buck's eyes. He presses the bottom of his phone into his forehead until it begins to hurt. Clears his throat.
"How's the fixer-upper?"
Best friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. But.
#sami rambles#okay i'm half asleep so this is probably incoherent and i'm still fucking reeling but here u go !#911 spoilers#911 show#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buck x eddie#911 fic#911 ficlet#buddie ficlet#buddie fic
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maybe another size kink fic with Max??? Reader always laughs it off when people point out their size diff but one night it just gets to her and she tries to leave. Max gets confused she tells him how he deserves some tall model beside him. And he gets pissed cz how could she think he wants anyone else does she not love him)?? So He takes it upon himself to show her how much he wants her and she belongs to him therefore never allowed to leave
Never Let You Go - MV1 🔥
Masterlist
summary: you've always laughed off the size difference. shrugged when people made comments. kissed max's hand and told him you didn't care. but tonight it gets to you. the whispers. the stares. the assumptions. and when you try to leave, max follows — furious that you'd ever think he wanted someone else. so he fucks the doubt out of you. hard. rough. worshipful. until you understand: you're his, and he's never letting you go.
warnings: size kink, possessiveness, dom!max, sub!reader, rough sex, emotional intensity, reader tries to leave (not a breakup), degradation mixed with praise, creampie kink, slight breeding kink language, choking (light), manhandling, overstimulation, slight crying kink, multiple orgasms, aftercare
It doesn't start with a fight. It starts with a whisper.
You're in the paddock, post-race. Max has already won. Again. He's glowing. A little sweaty, still in his race suit, Red Bull cap backwards and champagne in one hand. You're in a little sundress. Tight at the top, short on your thighs. Cute. You know it is.
But then a group of influencers pass. Too tall. Too model-thin. Too effortless. One of them glances at Max. Then at you. And smirks.
"She's, like... tiny," you hear her whisper. "Looks like his niece."
Laughter. High-pitched. Plastic. You roll your eyes. You're used to it. Always have been. Max is six foot one and carved from steel. You're small. Soft. Curvy in places that make outfits hard to pull off. You don't model. You don't pose. You exist, quietly, next to him.
And usually, it's fine. Usually. But tonight it's not. You try. You really fucking try.
You smile. You dance at the afterparty. You let Max wrap an arm around you while photographers shout his name.
But every time you catch your reflection, in a mirror, a phone, a camera lens, it hits you. You look like a joke.
So you slip away. Out the side door of the hotel ballroom, down the hall, back toward your suite. You leave your heels behind. Don't even care that you're barefoot on marble tile. You just need to get away.
You're halfway to the elevator when you hear it. "Where the fuck are you going?" Max. His voice is sharp. Angry. Worried.
You freeze. "Don't," you whisper.
He strides toward you. Fast. Furious.
You turn, arms folding over your chest. His eyes rake over you, bare feet, flushed face, trembling hands.
"What happened?" he demands. "Did someone say something?"
You shake your head. "I just want to be alone."
"Like hell." He grabs your wrist. Gentle, but firm.
"Max-"
"No." His eyes are wild. His chest heaving. "You're leaving my party. Without a word. Like you don't belong here. Like you don't belong with me."
You snap. "I don't."
His jaw tightens.
"I don't," you repeat. "I'm not like them. You deserve someone tall and gorgeous and- and photogenic. Not-not this."
You gesture at yourself. Small hands. Soft body. Breasts that never quite sit right in a dress. Hips that always need tailoring. Legs that barely reach Max's knees when you sit beside him.
You don't even realise you're crying until he steps closer.
"Don't do that," he says, voice low now. "Don't talk about my girl like she's not enough."
You turn to leave.
He growls. "I said don't." And then his hands are on your waist, lifting you like you weigh nothing, slamming your back against the suite door, mouth crashing onto yours.
You moan. Struggle. "Stop," you gasp. "I can't-"
He kisses your cheek. Your jaw. Your throat. "You can. And you will. Because I'm going to fuck the doubt out of you."
The door opens behind you. He kicks it closed. You barely register how fast it happens. Your back hits the mattress. Your dress is gone. Your panties too.
Max stands at the edge of the bed, shirt already off. Cock thick and heavy in his hand. "You think I want someone else?" he growls. "You think some runway zombie could take your place?"
He grabs your ankle. Drags you down the bed. "You're perfect. Every inch. Every curve. Every soft, pretty fucking part of you."
You whimper. He slaps the inside of your thigh.
"You think I don't see how gorgeous you are? You think I don't love how small you are under me? How my hands wrap around your hips? How I can lift you and fuck you in the air?" He's kneeling now. Pulls you onto his lap. Fists your hair. "I want you. Not her. Not them. You."
You shake your head. Still crying. He kisses your tears. And slams into you. You scream. Every time feels new. Every time makes you gasp. But this time? He's rough. He's furious. And it's all for you.
"Take it," he growls, voice animal. "Take my cock. That's it. Stretch that pretty cunt."
You sob. Nails clawing at his back.
He grabs your jaw. Forces your eyes open. "Say you're mine."
You don't answer fast enough. He flips you. Fucks you from behind. One hand on your hip. The other wrapped around your throat. "Say. It."
"I'm yours," you gasp.
"Again."
"I'm yours, Max-fuck-yours!"
He moans. Thrusts faster. Harder. You're already cumming. Shaking. But he doesn't stop. He keeps going. Keeps claiming. Until your legs give out. Until you can't form words. Until all you can do is feel.
And when he finally cums? It's deep. Slow. Hot.
He groans your name like it's a vow. "You're not allowed to leave," he whispers, panting. "You belong to me."
He doesn't pull out. He rolls onto his side, dragging you with him. Still buried inside you. Still hard. His hand comes up to cup your face.
"You're beautiful," he says softly. "You hear me?"
You nod.
He kisses your forehead. Your cheek. Your lips. "I don't want anyone else. I can't want anyone else. You're it for me."
You blink. Eyes heavy. Mouth sore. "You don't want a tall model?"
He laughs. Shakes his head. "I want you. My tiny little disaster. My favourite toy. The only girl who can take all of me." He kisses your collarbone. "I'll prove it again if I have to."
You smile and whisper, "Okay."
#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 smut#f1 grid x reader#f1 fic#f1 imagine#MV1#MV1 redbull#MV1 x reader#MV1 fic#MV1 imagine#MV1 smut#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen smut#max verstappen fic#redbull
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Existing Love
Max Verstappen x Uni Student! Reader
Summary: a sneak peak into the life of Max and his private girlfriend
Masterlist / TipJar
ynusername
liked by maxverstappen, yourbff and 3,952 others
ynusername It's getting colder, workload is getting heavier
view all 79 comments
yourbff I hate looking at photos of what you do
ynusername its beautiful no yourbff no
user is this max's girlfriend? i saw he liked
user thats the public idea, they are quite private user she is pretty
maxverstappen
liked by redbullracing, landonorris, ynusername, and 651,876 others
maxverstappen One more race before winter break, lets keep pushing!
view all 10,008 comments
user 4 time world champion right here!
user god he is delectable
user he is taken i swear user if not posted officially doesn't count user thats fucking stupid
landonorris Looking forward to seeing you soon, you know where
user what on earth is going on maxverstappen don't you dare embarrass me landonorris i would never do such a thing
ynusername
liked by maxverstappen, yourbff, and 2,643 others
ynusername When your friends are the only things keeping you going...
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yourbff okay, now i'm feeling worried about your mental state
ynusername Thriving! Dying! Same thing! yourbff u need an intervention
user shes who i wanna be when i grow up
maxverstappen
liked by landonorris, redbullracing, ynusername, and 520,263 others
maxverstappen and with that, the 2024 season comes to an end.
view all 240 comments
user Dutch Lion!
user sometimes i forget how not old he is, and then he says something like this
user i bet this was written by like a young social media manager user or his gf, shes younger than him user he has a gf? since when? user why is she never in the paddock tho, that's sus...
landonorris 4 seasons in a row of championships. I say no more
maxverstappen Agressive, shame you werent on track landonorris wow danielricciardo woww redbullracing wowww user damn! max has got some SASS landonorris you will be regretting that.... you'll see maxverstappen Lando....
ynusername
liked by maxverstappen, landonorris, yourbff, and 3,140 others
ynusername Approach to the Christmas holidays may not be synonymous with parties, but for a uni student, everything is synonymous with parties
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yourbff feral
ynusername wowwwwwww ynusername true maxverstappen true
landonorris I maybe shouldv'e gone to uni
ynusername all you would like is the parties, and they don't happen to often with us landonorris i would find other people
user okay i came across this account, why is lando norris here?
user and max verstappen?!? user thats Max's gf, we all think
maxverstappen
liked by landonorris, ynusername, danielricciardo and 473,838 others
maxverstappen Lando may be cut out for the partying lifestyle of a uni student, but I cannot handle another party for a year.
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user lando looks hot as shit
user okay that girl must be his gf, she used the same picture in her posts
user you guys are getting insanely stalker-y user is it really stalker behaviour if they are both public Instagram user yes
user why is Max posting thirst traps of Lando. Not complaining
landonorris I mean i think i feel my liver die but YOLO
mclaren do we need to talk about your alcohol consumption maxverstappen Ha, get outed! landonorris No I was just getting an immersive week experience into the life of a uni student user he got sooo wasted
user damn i wished max posted thirst traps of himself like that
ynusername
liked by yourbff, maxverstappen, landonorris, and 4,002 others
ynusername driving flying home away for Christmas!
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yourbff I am still so jealous you are in Monaco for Christmas
yourbff I am jealous you are in Monaco again full stop, this time without me ynusername I can't believe it myself yourbff also stop posting him, its sappppy ynusername girl its the first time i've posted him! yourbff stop it im feeling singleeee
user she has gone to see MAX it's so obvious
user or she is having fun on holiday with no other reasons user god leave some people be
user Monaco looks insane
maxverstappen
liked by ynusername, redbullracing, landonorris, and 620,632 others
maxverstappen it really is a wonderful time of the year
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user max in a relationship confirmation?!
user does it matter
landonorris can't believe you got her to join you for Christmas, how?
maxverstappen becuase she loves me... landonorris bs. how much you pay her? maxverstappen nothing landonorris fine. Ill ask
user max being a white wine drinker, would not have guessed
user he is a sophisticated man
ynusername
liked by maxverstappen, landonorris, yourbff and 2,952 others
ynusername Ending the holiday on a high point
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maxverstappen <3
ynusername <33 user OMH
yourbff come back I miss you
yourbff ... i need your notes ynusername I'm coming home soon yourbff YAy, bring ya man ynusername maybeeee
maxverstappen
liked by ynusername, landonorris, and redbullracing, and 835,235 others
maxverstappen 2 years ago a beautiful woman got tripped up by an idiot (me) on the sidewalk of the streets of Monaco, and since then has had my heart wrapped around her finger. YN, my love, to many more years
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user CONFIRMATION
ynusername <33
user this is her?? user we were right! user the fact that you were right with an assumption, doesn't justify a year of stalkerish behaviour maxverstappen I love you x landonorris gagggggggg maxverstappen grow up
#social media au#social au#f1#max verstappen#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fanfiction#max verstaooen smau#formula 1 fic#f1 fic#formula 1 smau#f1 smau
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