#she's a strong assassin and knows how to kill in a thousand ways

[barefeet-only]

Say Shawarma Right Now

It was a rainy August afternoon when Talia arrived in Gotham. It wasn’t a shock that it was raining, it always rained in Gotham. A depressing city with a depressing atmosphere. Why her love and son were so obsessed with it she would never know. So while Talia was prepared with her umbrella as she walked through the streets, waiting for her son’s compatriots to notice she was in town, she did not expect the humidity. This city always found a way to make her miserable. 

While she waited for her son to come find her, Talia made her way to her favorite local street vendor. A wonderful immigrant woman from Iran who had married a Turkish man and moved to the United States with hopes of grandeur. She had a talent for seasonings unheard of on this side of the Atlantic and it always made suffering through her chattering worth it. 

Talia noticed him as she made her way down the international market. A tall man with broad shoulders and a fit build. Not too muscular but enough to prove he went to the gym regularly. He was laughing loudly as he talked to the shawarma lady while she made his food. The cook was talking about how her son had finally gotten a girlfriend but forgot her birthday and was desperately trying to make it up to her. 

“Say wallah right now!” He jokingly exclaimed. 

“Wallah! Now I have a moping son and a no good husband stinking up the house right now. What I wouldn’t give to have a good boy like you as my child!”

Talia was on edge, something about this man was familiar to her. She couldn’t place where, but instinctually the assassin knew she knew this man. In her line of work, being able to place a face was the difference between life and death.

Talia took a seat at a nearby bench and began studying his side profile. He had thick black hair with an undercut and longer bangs on the front, a black stud on his lower lobe, and lightly tanned skin that would allow him to pass as white as long as he stayed out of the sun. While his piercing blue eyes should have been the first thing anyone would notice about him, it was the small curving scar behind his ear that instantly clued Talia in on his identity. 

“How much longer do you plan on staying in Gothman Danyal?” The cook asked. 

“Ah, I'm only here for another week now. Looks like we are closing the deal and I’ll be heading home.”

Danyal gave a cheerful smile to the lady as she handed him his food. 

“It’s partly why I came here to visit you, Mina. No one back home knows how to season like you do.” 

He leaned in and spoke low, “Or give me as good a discount.”

Mina tsked and smacked the man, “What a beggar! Got yourself a big fancy job and you’re still here asking for money off!”

Danyal winked at her and took a bite of his food, groaning in appreciation. 

Mina smiled, “Well I’m going to miss you dear boy. Please come visit some time.” 

“Boy?! How many times do I have to tell you I’m thirty!”

Danyal smiled genuinely and handed her a bright green business card, “But of course I’m going to visit. Here, this has my number on it, remind me to come visit in a couple months when you realize your best customer needs to help you pay your bills.”

She took the card and giggled. 

“Green? Really Danyal, you ought to be more professional with the job you have, this is why I call you boy. That and you barely look a day past twenty-three.” 

Danyal giggled and walked away, taking his meal with him. Talia was no longer hungry anymore. After a few moments she stood up and slowly followed him. She needed to know why he was in Gotham, she needed to know why he was alive. 

As they walked through the streets Talia noticed that Danyal was dry, the rain hadn’t stopped the entire time she had been in Gotham yet somehow Danyal had not a drop of moisture on him. He must have some device on him that allowed him to stay dry, there was no natural explanation. Dangerous she thought. Yet the moment the thought occurred to her, she recoiled at the idea. Danyal was a pathetic assassin, he had no talent for the craft at all and after all this time he finally instilled caution in her? Something was wrong, and Talia was determined to figure out what. If nothing else, she would finally achieve her greatest regret and kill Danyal herself. 

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[lucid-loves]

Taste Like Venom ~ Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 1

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x assassin!reader (fem!reader, no use of y/n, callsign “Hex”)

Word Count: 3.4k

CW: angst, violence, blood, strong language, scars, enemies to friends to lovers trope, slow burn, plot, clear attraction and sexual tension, smut later on, reader POV and ghost POV, minors dni, Soap lives in this AU

Let me know if I missed any CWs.

Synopsis: After Makarov gets away again, Laswell decides to force a favor from you, the world’s greatest assassin and best-kept secret. You are now expected to help the 141 with taking down Makarov in addition to playing nice with them. It’s hard to play nice when you have always worked alone. It doesn’t help that one of the team members, Ghost, gets curious about you with each interaction. 

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Part 10

You’ve always been a light sleeper, if you could even be called that. The truth was that you hardly slept at all. Bedtime was always more like cat-nap time. Light, soundless, ready to pounce at the sound of dust falling to the floor. That’s how you trained yourself and the habit stuck, even if you don’t take missions anymore. It was hard to deprogram a killing machine. 

The two years have been peaceful even if you were always on edge. Semi-retirement has been kind in only giving you the sounds of the forest trees in the wind, the gentle rush of the creek, birds singing every morning, and most importantly, no visitors. The world didn’t know that you existed and you preferred to keep it that way for as long as you could. While you did feel the phantom blood dripping down your hands every now and then to an unsettling reminiscent degree, you did like this little slice of heaven that was your off-grid cabin. It was a good place to be before you undoubtedly go to hell in the end.

You were in your bed when you heard the rustling of the forest floor just outside your window. Steps. But not the steps belonging to a fox or bear you have learned to recognize over time. These were the steps of a man. No, multiple men. The way the foot falls of a man walking is an undeniable melody you have heard thousands of times. In the dead of night, you bolted up out of bed and reached for your throwing knife and a pistol, always kept at your bedside. Like a thief in your own home, you silently followed the sounds outside along the walls until you reached the living room. They were going to come in through the front door. 

Under the cover of darkness, you readied your aim at the door. To your surprise, they were messing with the keypad that locked your house down, inputting codes with a subtle click and then beep of a correct code. No one should know the code except for two people. Laswell and yourself. 

As soon as the door revealed moonlight and a silhouette, you fired your gun. A warning shot. Grazing right past neck. The men stopped and immediately aimed their own rifles, but the one in front held his hand up in surrender. Following orders, the rifles were lowered. You were the first to speak, your voice dripping with venom. “State your purpose and maybe I won’t kill you all where you stand.”

A gentle yet deep Liverpudlian accent voiced back. “Easy now. We don’t mean harm. Laswell sent us here. Code Swan.”

“Song?” You replied, your muscles still tense, unwilling to lower your defenses until the full code was complete. It is what ensured both yours and Laswell’s safety.

“Black Death.” He replied back. You stayed in position for a few moments before finally sighing and lowering your weapon. You turned on a table lamp next to you to get a better look at the intruders. Four men stood in your doorway. One with a fishing hat, one with a mohawk, one with a baseball cap, and one with a skull mask. They were all tall, big with muscle, and seemingly not American from their patches. An interesting bunch to say the least. 

“Fucking Laswell.” You cursed Kate’s name. She should have contacted you about this. You were just about to paint the porch with her mens’ brains. You hated surprises. You often killed them before finding out the intentions. 

With a wave of your hand, you invited the men to come into your cabin. They cautiously came in, surveying the layout and now understanding what Kate meant when she said that you were “belligerent.”

You turned on the main lights and tried to get a fire going to relieve some of the autumn chill that had crept through the house. Their leader began to unload his things on the kitchen table, sighing from the weight relief. His men joined in, save for one. You could feel his eyes on you as you encouraged the fire. You didn’t even have to look back to know that he was watching your every move. 

“It’s rude to stare.” You warned curtly as you stood and turned. The man in the skull mask and balaclava didn’t avert his gaze.

His voice was rich and gruff like gaboon ebony. His Manchester accent came clear as day. “You’re half naked.”

He was referring to the large band shirt and boyshort panties that you were wearing. What did he expect from someone that thought that enemies were breaking in? You rolled your eyes and scoffed. “I’m in my pajamas. Besides, a good soldier shouldn’t get distracted by any amount of nudity.”

His blue eyes narrowed at your dig. He was a good soldier. An excellent soldier actually. One of the best. But excellent, good, or bad, no one would be able to resist staring at your figure. The exposed thighs, the large neckline of the shirt hanging off your shoulder, various scars scattered across skin like an abstract painting. He’s never seen anyone like you before. 

Too bad you had a combative mouth. 

Before he could get a word in, you had walked off into the kitchen, not bothering to go get pants on. It was your home for fuck’s sake. Besides, there were more pressing matters than your clothes or lack thereof. 

You began to pull out all the food you had out of your fridge. Everything from deli meat to leftover lasagna was being laid out on the large quartz island. You weren’t going to heat anything up or make something new, but the laid out spread would be enough. You weren’t a completely heartless host. Just a bare minimum one.

Once the food was out for pickings, you headed back near the dining room, leaning against the doorframe. The boys had maps, blueprints, and laptops covering every surface of your table. Your beautiful, hand-made pine table. This was to be their new safehouse for now. Hopefully not for too long.

“Captain, it’s connecting now.” The one with the mohawk called out. The captain came right over to greet the screen.

“Laswell, can you hear us?”

“Loud and clear, John. Did everything go well?” Kate chipperly asked. You haven’t heard her voice in a long while. You almost forgot how nice her voice actually was.

“She nearly shot my fuckin’ neck off.” Mohawk-guy grumbled. 

Kate gave a light, short laugh. “Sounds like it went smoothly then. The best that it could be. She there?”

All four men looked up to you, expecting you to come over and face Laswell through the screen. However, you stayed where you were. Instead, you spoke loud enough for your friend to hear. “Kate Laswell.”

“Hex, I’m sorry that I couldn’t warn you about this beforehand. You know I wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t an emergency situation.” She began to apologize and justify. It was always an apology followed by a justification. You wondered if she even ever means her apologies, but in the end, you never really cared enough. However, now it is different.

“I don’t exist, Kate. And now four new people know that I do. . .” You retorted back.

It was silent for a moment, the tension in the air thick. She was on the other side of the screen, but it felt like you were going to get into a physical fight with her anyways. “They’re trustworthy. I trust them with my life and the lives of millions upon millions. Just like I trust you. And as the only people that I trust, I need you to help them.”

“They have already taken over my home. What more do you want from me?” You clenched your jaw, trying to prepare yourself for an answer you probably wouldn’t like. Like hell were you going to play dorm mother to them and like hell you were going to just move out. The last thing you wanted was to take care of these men longer than necessary. This was already pushing that line for you.

“Athame.” She bluntly said. That was the worst answer she could have said. The confused looks the men gave each other made you grateful for a fleeting second. They didn’t understand your secret codes and languages. But they will soon.

Your jaw was clenched so hard that your teeth ached. You damn near cracked them. While your voice before was dripping with venom, it was now drowning in it. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“Hex, I-”

You finally came over, nearly pushing the captain out of the way in your warpath. Through the screen, Kate could see how angry you were. Not just angry, furious. She steeled herself, ready for your onslaught of curses, stopping herself midway through her explanation. “I don’t do this shit, Kate! I work solo for a very particular fucking reason. And now you want me to work with four strange men?! Now you want me to play nice?! I’m not a fucking soldier that can just be ordered around!”

“I know! I know. . . But. . . we’re desperate. I’m desperate, Hex. Please, this is the last favor I will ever ask from you. This is an awful target we’re talking about. Someone that is better off in this world dead.”

“You mean Makarov, right? Why should I clean up your government’s fuck-up? Again, might I add.” You spat. You lived off the grid and weren’t a citizen of anywhere, but you still watched the news. You always knew what was going on in the world among other secrets. Makarov was a threat to the world, but as far as you were concerned, it wasn’t your problem. If anything, the government needed this lesson as a direct consequence of their negligence and incompetence. 

“Because Chalice.” She simply stated, knowing that her final word was a last ditch effort. Chalice was an agreement that you two had made long ago. It could only be used once in your lives, a truly desperate resort for help. If one of you uttered it, then the other would have no choice but to help, no matter the request. That was the law between your friendship, among other things. The other code words were favors, but this was the ultimate one. Life or death.

You considered punching the laptop in anger. Right at Kate’s face. You didn’t like her call for Athame or Chalice, but now you didn’t have a choice but to comply. It didn’t mean that you weren’t still furious though. “Fuck you, Kate.”

“Thank you, Hex.” She breathed a sigh of relief. She wanted to tell you more about what she needed from you, but she knew that you had to cool off first otherwise you would burst into flames. That would've made things harder for all of you. So, she nodded as a signal for dismissal which you gladly took. You retreated to your room, locking the door shut and basking in the darkness. 

You could feel the blood boil within you. It burned your insides and choked you. Grabbing your pillow, you pressed it against your face and screamed out your frustration. When that didn’t help, you punched the exposed logs of your cabin wall until your knuckles were splintered and bleeding.

~

Ghost sat on the couch, his thoughts swirling with uncertainty. The rest of the meeting with Laswell was brief, wanting them to try to decompress for the next several hours. Sleep, eat, process. All in the comfort of an assassin’s home. 

Compared to your personality, the cabin was decorated warmly. Everything was cozy, earthy, and fresh. The fire crackled comfortably, the plush couch was broken in, and every wooden piece of furniture looked hand-made. Bookshelves were filled with classic books and another shelf collected various music records. The only thing that seemed out of place was the lack of real personal mementos. No pictures, no art, not even knick-knacks. The others didn’t seem to notice or care as they picked through the food left in the kitchen. But for Simon, it left him uneasy.

He recalled the briefing before they were sent to the middle of nowhere to you. Kate said that you were an old friend of hers from high school. You have been friends ever since, but you were different than most people. You were a deadly assassin unknown by the world. No records, no pictures, not even a birth certificate. You handled delicate problems with grace and grave justice. You always worked alone, you didn’t trust others, and you were deadly. Everything about you was a secret until Kate made the crucial choice to ask for your help. Hell, they didn’t even know your call sign until Kate said it over the video call. 

“You should eat, Lt. There’s a lot of options, but they’re dwindling fast.” Soap patted him on the shoulder, awakening him from deep thought. Ghost looked up at the sergeant, watching him stuff a sandwich into his mouth. It looked like all the deli meat from one packet was in between the bread. No lettuce or tomato. 

“In a bit. I’m gonna talk to Hex real quick and ask some questions.” He replied and got up from the couch. 

Soap swallowed nervously. “Kate said that she’s gonna need time to cool off. . .”

“Our new member is part of the team now. She’s gonna have to get used to us even if she wants time for herself.” He justified it with a shrug of his shoulders. Soap shook his head and walked back into the kitchen, knowing that what Simon was about to do was most likely going to be a bad idea.

Ghost walked down the hall, observing each door as he passed them. Most of them were slightly open revealing extra bedrooms, an office, and a bathroom. Only two of them remained closed, both locked with keypads. For a second, he wondered which bedroom was yours before he could hear the sound of light music behind one of them along with swearing. It made him wonder what was behind the other door that was locked down.

Deciding to let it go for now, he approached your door and knocked. “Hex, open up.”

He heard you let out a frustrated groan before the door opened up. It was only just enough to see you, the pure darkness behind you, and the blood dripping down your fists. He crossed his arms over his broad chest and quirked a brow that you couldn’t see behind the mask. It didn’t take a genius to realize what you had done. “Are you done throwing a temper tantrum?”

You scowled at him, a fire in your eyes that made Simon’s heart skip a beat which confused him. He wasn’t afraid of you, so why would his heart alter its beat for you?

“If I knew that you were just going to insult me, I would’ve shot you dead on my porch.” You bitterly snapped, moving to close the door in his face. However, Ghost stopped it from slamming and took your hand in his, observing the damage you’ve done to yourself.

Your breath caught in your throat. Electricity ran through you at his touch. When was the last time someone has touched you? You attempted to pull back, but his hand firmly gripped yours. “Hey! What the fuck? Let go of me!”

“Calm down and let me see. It hurts, doesn’t it? Stings?” 

You narrowed your eyes, but eventually nodded. It did sting and the dripping blood already stained your carpet. However, you could take care of it yourself. You didn’t need some man coming in to try to fix you. “I’ll be fine. I can tend to it myself.”

“First aid in the bathroom?” He asked, seeming to ignore your clear hint that you wanted to be alone. 

Understanding that he probably wouldn’t drop this until he saw gauze around your knuckles, you headed to the hall bathroom with a huff, opened up the cabinet, and took out the first aid kit. You then took a seat at the edge of the tub and began patching yourself up. Every now and then you looked up towards the doorway, making sure that the skull man was watching you take care of yourself. Without his help. Without anyone’s help.

Finally, your hands were wrapped and the bleeding had stopped. You held up your hands towards him. “Happy now? Will you leave me alone now?”

“Hex.” Ghost simply said as a warning. God, you were infuriating. An attitude problem was something he would normally be able to snuff out immediately. He did it all the time when training new soldiers. Not you though. New soldiers were like little candles, easily blown out of their fire with just a breath. You? You were like a raging forest fire. One that clearly had its own traumas over years of service that the world may never know. 

You didn’t like how he studied you. How his eyes trained on you were a mix between hatred, curiosity, and something else that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. A magnetic pull that begged for you to look at him too. You also didn’t like how he was trying to treat you like one of his rookie soldiers. The only thing you wanted to do to make it all stop was to push him away. “Don’t talk to me like some new recruit straight out of school. I’ve already earned my place in the world with the amount of scars I have. So, don’t treat me like I’m under you. I won’t even let your captain talk to me like that.”

After putting the first aid back where it belonged, you attempted to leave the bathroom and retreat back to your bedroom. Yet, Ghost wasn’t giving up just yet. His hold body blocked the bathroom exit. He was tall, strong, and sturdy. It wasn’t hard for him to completely fill up the space. However, that didn’t intimidate you. You got up close, and looked straight into those icy blues. Even with the black warpaint, you could tell that his lashes were meant to be blonde. Some of the paint had flecked off revealing some true color. You wondered what the rest of his face looked like for a second. Just a second.

You stood your ground, engaging in a heated staring contest. It was like lightning crackling between the two of you. After a while though, Simon finally gave in and held his hand up like a handshake. “Lieutenant. They call me Ghost.” 

Hesitantly, you took his hand and firmly shook it, refusing to back down from a battle of wills. “Hex. That’s all you will know me by.”

Suddenly, he pulled you in closer, your chest almost touching his. On instinct, you pulled a knife from the waistband of your underwear. It was the one you took with you earlier for the showdown at the door. You held it to his neck, blade dipping in until you could feel the push back of skin. Ghost didn’t flinch or jump back at your defense. Instead, he whispered into your ear that he wanted to get close to in the first place. “As hard as you may try to fight it, you’re going to know me. And I’m going to know you.”

You bit back the shiver that went down your spine from the whisper, aching to slice his throat in retaliation. Chalice had you pinned, though. You had to avoid killing the people you are going to be working with at the very least. 

Ghost slowly backed up and headed back towards the kitchen for some food, leaving you to process what just happened. You silently walked back to your room without looking back at him, ears turning red and heart racing unnaturally. You didn’t want to give him any satisfaction by giving him any more attention. However, Simon was already somewhat satisfied. 

Yet, there was a part of him that wanted more.

Soap was eating a piece of lasagna when he walked in. Gaz and Price were quietly conversing at the other end of the island. It took a lot of food to fill up men like them. It wouldn’t take long for them to eat you out of your house and home unfortunately. 

“So, how did it go?” Soap nosely inquired. As Simon surveyed the food before picking out a tupperware full of stew, he shrugged casually.

“She almost sliced my head off.”

Soap suppressed a chuckle and did his best impersonation of Laswell. “Sounds like it went smoothly then.”

[littlefankingdom]

Talia was soooooo good in Arkham City! And the Brutalia was also good! Apart from the slap, of course, but I'm blaming that on the toxic masculinity of the writers and not on her (comics media be like "men cannot be abused")

Spoilers ahead

I cannot believe Bruce made me fight ninjas and run on rooftops when he could simply have call her and be like "Talia, I'm dying and I need some of your father's blood to create an antidote. This is the only way." She would have helped! She loves him! She tells him he just needed to call her!

When he is like "I'm going to accept Ra's offer and be his heir, and so an assassin", she's worried about him, because she knows he would never do that normally. And after he passes the test, she is reassured, because even though she believes in him, she was still worried, even more with how sick he was when he arrived.

When Bruce is losing to the Joker, she comes to save his ass from being killed. After that, the city is being bombarded but Bruce wants to go save her from the Joker, because he is worried! Bruce is prioritizing saving her over the mission! (This isn't the only time in Batman medias that Bruce has prioritized his loved ones over the mission, but the other examples I have are his close family) He and Alfred have an arguement about it, Alfred and Barbara having vocalize already their dislike of Talia and not giving Bruce the tracker's informations. Alfred tells Bruce "one life against a thousand", to which Bruce answers "If she dies, I will never forgive you". Alfred is like "I don't approve your relationship with her, so sacrificing her doesn't bother me and I will force you to do it", and Bruce, who is a grown ass man that can choose who he dates, isn't pleased at all , which is understandable! And, when they wrote Arkham City's story, the writers may not have planned to do the whole thing with Jason, but with the added context of Arkham Knight, Bruce has already lost someone he loves to the Joker. Pretty heartless from Alfred.

Talia is also called "the only person (Batman) loves" but I forgot if it's the Joker who calls her that or someone else. He takes her as a hostage, and she is like "Beloved, do not come and let him die". I would love to say she is sacrificing herself, but she doesn't look scared at all and we all know she would kick his ass easily. Which she does when Bruce shows up, using him as a distraction to kill the Joker. Of course, Bruce isn't happy, but he isn't mad either, and Talia is like "you weren't going to do it, so I did". I know some people will say that "she had to do his job for him", and I disagree strongly. First of all, I dislike putting responsibility on Bruce or anyone for not killing someone, that's weird. And, secondly, I do not think that's what Talia is implying. Talia respects that Bruce doesn’t want to kill, she doesn't try to change him. Ra's Al Ghul wants to change Bruce, not Talia. She loves him for who he is, which is a stubborn man with strong morals. It's not necessarily that she agrees with them, but she loves him for who he is, and if he were to change his mind that easily, that would not be her man. She killed the Joker because she had enough of him hurting Bruce, and as Bruce wasn't going to do it, she did.

However, it wasn't the real Joker, and she is shot and killed by Joker, dying in Bruce's arms. And then, the most romantic thing happens. Bruce uses Talia's sword to fight the final boss. He wins the fight with her sword. He even starts to attach it to his belt, meaning it is now one of his weapons, but has to throw it to stop Joker from using the Lazarus Pit.

They deserve a good ending and I'm sad. Talia wasn't evil, and even though Bruce doesn't show a lot of emotion in these games, he clearly loved her too.

[queenvhagar]

Why is Rhaenyra wrong and a coward for avoiding war?

Not sure I ever said she was a coward, but I certainly have criticized her passivity in the show vs the source material and the way the show sanitizes her motivations, having her explore all other options to war no matter how illogical they are given the context so that she can appear to be the hero when she never was in the books.

Rhaenyra has every motivation to go to war and women in universe have gone to war for less. In the book she is adamant on war as soon as she hears her brother is crowned, and certainly after her son is killed she is determined to fight for outright victory against her enemies. Of course, war could have been avoided altogether had Rhaenyra given up her claim, but realistically she would not, so war was always going to happen. A king had already been crowned and she was determined to push her claim. This necessitates war. Writing her so that she's hesitant and passive and takes weeks to finally come to this conclusion that war is going to happen just makes her seem unintelligent and uninformed, not some reasonable or peace driven woman. If she was actually either of these things, she would have set her claim aside or try to negotiate with the Greens to make peace happen. Instead, her plan is to basically just go undercover without telling anyone where she's going (while she's supposed to be the leader and her council is out of control) during a highly dangerous time for her and her family and go into enemy territory to demand that Alicent convince her son to give her the throne, without any concessions of her own and despite the fact his young son was just murdered by Daemon's assassins, Aegon had already been crowned before the masses, and Alicent has no power in the council. It was a politically incompetent plan that would never have worked, and realistically Alicent would've had her seized immediately and she would have effectively lost the war.

Additionally, giving Rhaenyra the prophecy and some righteous motivation to save the world as the reason she decides her war should happen, that she wants it to happen, and believes it is justified (and basically telling the audience that they should believe this too) goes against all of the central themes of the source material. The point of the Dance is not that one side was justified in bringing war and suffering to thousands of innocents because of a dream some guy had in the past that alluded to something the audience knows to be true. The point is neither side was justified in their war, that war is never justified, and that this meaningless power grab by the two sides destroyed the realm and the family itself.

But the show wants Rhaenyra to be a pure-intentioned hero and the Greens to be dysfunctional, caricature villains to fit the story they want to tell: a tragedy where the patriarchy kills a strong woman who was actually justified in bringing war to thousands in pursuit of absolute power because she would have been the best ruler ever but misogyny exists :( and they're undermining the themes of the story by trying so hard to push this version of the story onto our screens and drive fans to support one side over the other.

So yes, the Rhaenyra of the show was wrong to try to avoid war in that the way she approached it was illogical in motivation and execution. If she truly wanted peace and to avoid war, she needed a better plan or she needed to be prepared to make some concessions. But she doesn't, and once she's reminded that her dad wanted her to be queen and also finally realizes the war has been inevitable this whole time while she continues to press her claim, she jumps right back to wanting war. Basically, the show had her running in circles for a while in an attempt to make her seem reasonable when it actually just reads as confused, passive, and stupid given the context of what was happening, what her motivations should be, and the execution of her supposed peace plan.

[covertleathers]

Chapter 9: L'Amour Looks Something Like You

Cards: The Star, The Lovers, Four of Wands

Chapter 1 AO3 Link

Rating: 18+, Explicit, Gradually intensifying sexual tension, nudity, wet dreams, etc etc

Relationships: Lucanis Dellamorte/m!Rook (They/Them pronouns)

Chapter summary: After Inner Demons, Lucanis makes Rook a dessert as a token of his thanks, but also as a way to tell them how he feels.

Author's Note: We're all having a bad night. I hope you read this and it makes it a little better. I worked really hard on this chapter to convey the strangeness of sexual attraction and romantic love for the first time. Hopefully I hit that note, who knows? Also I should just change the name of this fic to "Pulling Cards".

Everyone else had left for sleep. The two were alone in the dining room and it must have been well past midnight. All night the team had been feasting on wine, paella, churros, and chioccolatta calda until they couldn't move. Warmth from the candlelight seemed to protect them from the chaos of the world outside the Lighthouse. A berth.

A berth in death. Ah, that's why he remembered the word. Rook's one of many curious Mourn Watch sayings.

Lucanis had sat at Rook's right hand. Nervously watched them eat. They had never had a churro before. An invisible sigh of relief escaped him when they exclaimed it was delicious. That was something he could give them. A tension in his chest eased.

His eyes lingering where their teeth sank into the treat. The tension would ramp up again, but its character was starkly different than before. He had to remind himself to keep his face carefully placid.

There had been many moments throughout the night that Lucanis wanted to reach out to their hand, just below the edge of the table, out of view of their colleagues. Wicked hesitation locked his hands down to his armrests if they weren't holding his coffee cup. Being near them, at their side and basking in their joy could almost make up for it.

Ziya found ways to close the gap, though, as if knowing what his mind asked for. Of course, they had been in his mind, perhaps they did. Asking him to pass them another the wine bottle in an excuse to graze his fingers or briefly touching his shoulder as they laughed. Something in the pressure of their fingers through his shirt made chills run up his spine. Even the occasional glance and smile held the weight of affectionate, unsaid sentiments.

There was a generous style in which Rook would tie him into conversations, turning to ask what he thought with that slick smile. How the mage found a way to relate anything back to assassination or stabbing was enviable, even for Lucanis. When they included him, he felt a pull from his core, a gravity to them so strong he feared it could crush him. That stripe of peril used to swell in all their moments together.

Much of his life had been determined for him. In this night, Lucanis felt a shift. He couldn't stop interrogating…everything. After what happened at the Cobbled Swan, a creature inside that was not Spite had stirred awake, grasping for insight. Had he ever envisioned a night like this? A brief moment? Not even the passing thought of a different way to be? No.

Now the possibilities felt overwhelming. Each moment at Rook's side felt like two mirrors facing each other; thousands reflecting into eternity. Caterina was alive. He needed to save her. Even so, would she accept the abomination he had become or would he have to endure her rejection? Illario had surely betrayed him. Lucanis couldn't kill his cousin, but what he did could not go unpunished. He had a contract on a god's life. He was still unsure if he would be able to strike true.

However daunting, Rook's steadfastness aided in cleansing doubts from the ghostly home of his mind. Even Spite, who had been apparently trapped in that home this entire time, seemed to be soothed. Every once in a while the demon would murmur a biting remark at Davrin, but that was much more preferred than the wild terror he would threaten before.

Instead it felt like Spite was sitting quietly like a cat after dinner. Lucanis couldn't believe he just compared a demon to a housecat. Things really were changing.

At this instant, long after the reverie died down, they sat side by side. The fire had been burning for so long that the wood had become glowing red coal casting dim crimson light across dining room. Even the torches themselves seemed to have lost most of their magical brilliance. He and Rook were left in half shadow.

Lucanis watched Rook as they stood, emerald green robes falling around their frame, and moved to stand in front of the dying flames. His eyes gingerly followed again becoming painfully aware of the small of their back. Perhaps it was that Nevarran training; every movement was fluid and graceful as if walking on air. Maybe that was just Rook.

His contract. His friend. His…?

"Lucanis."

His name as a statement. A declaration? Rook gestured for him to join them. A single ringed finger. As if entranced, he went without thinking, his body compelled to go. When they stood next to one another, Lucanis was reminded he was at eye level with their collarbone. A striking scar in the shape of lightning ran at the hollow of their throat. Framed by a gold necklace dangling the jeweled Mourn Watch beetle pressed against the skin of their chest. He swallowed.

"Rook." He couldn't meet their gaze and instead became fixated with their pair of wine glasses sitting on the dining table alone. The warmth of Rook's fingers were suddenly cupping his face. Instinct made him flinch but they held fast. There was no danger here.

"I know it's not enough…" Whatever other words he had intended to say died in his throat. For all that you've done. I owe you one thousand lifetimes. Mierda, the tears were fighting their way out again. He tried to blink them away. Lucanis did not understand why this was happening. All of it. Why he survived the Ossuary. Why Rook had worked to be at his side. How they possessed the unyielding persistence to be present for every mistake he made, then to tell him those failures were of no consequence to their feelings. Seeing him when he could not see himself. Finding him locked away in his nightmares.

Rook's face eclipsed his vision. Eyes shining. Never in these months at the Lighthouse had he imagined that Rook would have deigned to be this close to him. His fingers curled in aching agony between pulling their hands off and desperately grasping to be pressed against them. It felt like need was leaking from his pores. He knew they could feel it.

They slowly pressed their velvet lips just below his eye. Lucanis had always wondered what they felt like. Rook's mouth was much more supple than he imagined. He tried not to think about what they would feel like…elsewhere. Not that he hadn't before. Plenty of times. He nearly stopped breathing. This one precious second felt like days.

Through the mask of jest and flirtation, he realized, Rook had been holding on to this for as long as he had. Glimpses would reveal themselves, but he thought they would eventually see he was damaged and move on. But here they were standing in front of him in full view. Rook had always been soft. They became practiced at protecting it, but their center never changed.

There was relief in Ziya's voice, almost trembling as much as his heart,"Thank you."

The force of that affection was cleaving into his heart as if its intent were to kill.

Silky hands traced down his shoulder to his arms and then to his fingers. Where Rook's fingers brushed his forearms, chills ran up his nerves. The assassin realized he had never been touched this way.

What had he expected from this? He wasn't sure because he didn't think it would go this far. In all the novellas he read, none of them are resolved with a batch of fried dough and hot drinks. Though, he knew what would come after a kiss. Mierda.

"What a wonderful gift you have given me. An opportunity to hold your hands," Rook murmured. Then, slowly, a daring grin grew on their face, "It's about damn time."

That cracked a smile out of him. They turned over his left palm, examining the hard-earned callouses and brought it to their own cheek with a soulful sigh. Lucanis was rooted. When their bare skin touched electricity shot through his muscles from the contact. The surface of his palm buzzed.

Tentatively, he ran his thumb across their umber skin. His core jumped, heart tripping over itself. The need flashed again in his mind. Scenarios were emerging endlessly in his imagination; pulling them in tightly, excusing himself back to the pantry, undress and writhe against them in front of the fire. He dared not act on any of them

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, Lucanis Dellamorte," they interjected when they saw him breathlessly open his mouth. "Just know that I have you."

That was the first time they said his full name. Not Sir Crow or Master of Knives. It fell from their tongue so beautifully, he barely recognized it.

"You do," he croaked. They did. Ziya could ask Lucanis to ride a dragon into the Deep Roads at this moment and he wouldn't hesitate. If it meant being close enough to experience the warmth of their laugh and the kindness of their gentle eyes, he would do anything.

With a grasp on his hand, they guided his palm down their neck to the open collar of their loose tunic. Lucanis let his hand be led across their collarbone to their chest. He dared to even lightly drag his fingers with the movement. Ziya pressed their hand over his, above their heart. Their skin was warm, almost hot to the touch at this spot. A gentle beat knocked against his palm.

Lucanis' mind was frying and his face suddenly felt like someone took a torch to it. Soft, but sound. He was fairly sure his thumb was barely grazing their nipple. When he glanced up at Rook, they had that same sharp, roguish grin. They knew this, too. Of course they did.

He leaned in, pressing hard, in acceptance of this challenge. Their shoulder rocked slightly, but the mage held their ground. "You're impossible."

"You like it," they cajoled, eyes alight.

"I do."

[judgeanon]

Issue one of Absolute Batman indirectly confirms that Ras Al Gul and the League of Assassin's exists in the Absolute Universe, what do you think and Absolute Lady Shiva would be like or how would you go about it

Well, I wouldn't involve the LoA at all, that's for sure.

But the thing about Absolute is that, so far, there doesn't seem to be any set rules for what an "Absolute" character means other than a retelling. Does it mean more grounded version? More altered versions? More gritty versions? There's nothing set in stone as far as I can tell, so it's hard to extrapolate what an Absolute Shiva would look like.

However, if you told me to come up with one, here's what I'd do:

Sandra Woo is the greatest professional fighter in the world. She's an unbeaten MMA champion who holds more belts than she knows what to do with, a worldwide superstar with a legion of fans and an inspirational figure to thousands.

She's also incredibly bored of it.

Having reached the peak and found it a lonely place, Sandra is pretty much just sitting there, waiting for someone strong enough to make life interesting again. But despite famously never saying no to a fight, all she gets are blowhards who go down in one round, or decent fighters who would've been a good challenge three years ago. And her attempts at pushing the boundaries of who she's allowed to fight feel increasingly like banging on the bars of a prison cell.

Things change, however, when after a title match in a foreign country, she finds her hotel door broken, the place a mess and a note on the floor: someone has kidnapped her manager, her closest friend, her sister. Carolyn.

Arrangements are made to pay Carolyn's ransom, but unbeknownst to her team, something has snapped inside Sandra. All alone, driven by cold rage, she sneaks into the meeting place and beats the absolute shit out of the gang that kidnapped her sister, going so far as to kill a few of them in a fight more furious and exhilarating than any she's ever had.

Sandra rescues Carolyn, who is grateful at first but later tremendously disturbed that her sister would do something like that. She's not some movie star or some superhero, she's just a normal woman. Normal women don't do stuff like that. And the thing is, Sandra agrees. But she also has started to realize she is not normal. That the limits of what people consider possible are so much weaker than she thought. That maybe out there, beyond the borders of the "normal" world, there are new peaks to climb.

Over the next few days, Sandra destroys her life. She retires undefeated and disappears from the public eye. Everyone assumes she's just shaken by the whole kidnapping ordeal, and maybe she is, but not in the way they all believe. Abandoning Carolyn, Sandra goes on a journey into the shadier corners of the world, constantly pushing against the limits of what's normal, of what's realistic, of what's possible. And gradually, she comes into contact with a whole twilight world of almost otherworldly people that offers seemingly endless new challenges and opportunities.

The more she walks her new path, the more she sheds the last few remnants of her previous life, until finally she loses even her own name. And on the blood-splattered rock floor of a ruined temple turned fighting colisseum, she gains a new one.

You know what it is.

One of the things that I think is key to Shiva's appeal is how she's a very fantastic character in otherwise "realistic", grounded settings. I'm not even talking about Gotham, I'm talking places like Hub City, where the more grounded things are, the more Shiva shines as a strange, out of place presence.

So what I'd do for an Absolute Shiva is to take that idea and apply it to Shiva herself. Have her start as an extremely powerful character who's "trapped" in a very realistic world. Then have a moment where she breaks the rules of that realism and steps into the wider, wilder world of martial arts/comic book fantasy. Meanwhile, keep Carolyn alive and use her as a point of comparison, as the sister who stays in the realistic world, and show just how much different Shiva is becoming.

The main driving questions of the story and of Shiva's development would be "What can you become if you refuse to believe in limits?" and then the slightly darker "How far can you go if you let go of everything?" And eventually she'd reach a point where she abandons all realism and becomes the impossible, inhuman, borderline magical kung fu warrior we all know and love, but hopefully with a much stronger foundation this time.

[monstersdownthepath]

Good Afternoon, I know this older lore, but I've been wondering for a while how strong do you think Colyphyr was back in her prime? I'm curious because Nocticula had to use subterfuge to kill her and Nocticula has shown that while a demonlord she was able to low diff frequently many of her peers case in point WotR. So either Colyphyr was really strong then or Nocticula was weaker. The fact that without the subterfuge Colyphyr was shown to survive into the present suggests the former.

Newer than you may think, since Rise of New Thassilon came out only 4 years ago!

Colyphyr was the Demon Lord of Jungles, Poison Waters, and Dragons, the last of which is the most threatening; dragons are already hellaciously powerful, so of course a Demon Lord with aspects of them is stronger still. A dominion over poison waters (to the point that the island that bears her name is outright lethal to non-natives because of the toxic water vapor in the air) would presumably also give her some form of advantage over a poison enthusiast like Nocty... but it could also be that she was much weaker all those millennia ago. Hard to say.

We don't know, and may never know, about Coly's full power set, though we can guess by how hostile the island made from her corpse is: Boiling, poisonous waters that feed a hungry jungle whose every shoot, root, and leaf carries some form of toxin, inhabited by demons of poison and sludge and further marred by a Qlippoth Runestone that serves as a gravestone for the departed demon. That Runestone is supposedly the source of Coly's ascension, and WHATEVER powers it granted her made her formidable enough that Nocty had to rely on an extraplanar distraction to finally kill her; as you said, due to the events of RoNT, she can potentially survive this assassination and survive to the current day, ten thousand years later. Unfortunately, even when players actually physically encounter the Runestone in Wrath of the Righteous, there's no method by which they can access its power and no way to tell how it may have been altered by being embedded in a Demon Lord. The only insight we have to its powers are the ability to create toxic environments (which Coly obviously had, and still has) and the power to project immense fields of fear and disgust, which could be a potent defense...

I'd say she must have been in the upper echelons of demonic might, easily CR 28 to 30, with some kind of trick that made her a threat Nocticula could not face head on (I think it may be a combination of her being weaker and Coly being powerful). Nocticula USUALLY kills through subterfuge and betrayal, but something about Coly made her especially careful, careful enough to never try again for 10k years!

[yesterdanereviews]

Mortal Engines (2018)

Film review #628

Director: Christian Rivers

SYNOPSIS: A thousand years in the future after a great war, giant mobile towns and cities roam around the continent, attempting to absorb one another for resources. In the mobile city of London, a small mobile town is harvested, among the population is Hester Shaw, a young woman who attempts to assassinate Thaddeus Valentine, a high ranking member of the city, but is stopped by Tom Natsworthy, a young historian. When Thaddeus learns that she told Tom about how he killed her Mother before she fell down a chute, Thaddeus pushes Tom down too, hoping to eliminate any evidence. With Hester and Tom cast out of the city as it rolls away, they must find a way to work together and get back to London before Thaddeus can complete his secretive project...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Mortal Engines is a 2018 sci-fi film based on the novel of the same name by Philip Reeve. Set a thousand years in the future after a "sixty second war" obliterated the old world, humanity now lives on large mobile cities and towns that move across the continent capturing other towns and cities for scarce resources. London is one such city, and after capturing a small mining town, takes the residents aboard including Hester Shaw, a young woman who attempts to assassinate Thaddeus Valentine, a high ranking member of the city. She is stopped by Tom Natsworthy, a young historian, who chases her down, and reveals to him the secret that Thaddeus killed her Mother before she falls down a chute. When Tom tells Thaddeus this, he is also pushed down the chute, seemingly to erase the evidence. Cast out of London as it rolls away, Tom and Nester must learn to work together to learn the truth and stop whatever Thaddeus is planning. The film starts off, as most of these post-apocalyptic films do, telling how civilisation was wiped out in a war, and introducing the novel concept of mobile cities that move around like giant tanks swallowing others for resources. We get a fairly standard action sequence to kick things off which illustrates the concept well, but perhaps lacking that necessary hook to grip viewers.

The two main flaws of the film quickly make themselves known, in the first twenty minutes we are introduced to character upon character, thrown at us relentlessly. The cast is just far too large, and we don't really get a strong main character to settle us into the world, and are rather just thrown around a lot. The second issue which stems from this, is that everyone we meet already has a history with everyone else, which just complicates everything tenfold. This feeds into a plot which is tied together with a mass of conveniences, where characters coincidentally meet who just happen to know each other in some way. There's nothing organic about the development when all of this is just shunted into the film and we as the viewer are made to play catch up as the film explains the nature of their relationships, rather than letting it happen in the present on screen. The two main characters have that very typical relationship of hating each other and eventually getting closer, and you can easily predict every beat in their relationship and when it's going to happen, draining any chemistry between them. Thaddeus isn't really much of an interesting villain either, as his plan just seems to be to blow up a wall so he can go and pillage some non-moving cities in east Asia, but we don't ever see any of them, or what they're like, so we don't really get a sense of the consequences of his actions other than blowing up a big wall. Hugo Weaving still turns in a good performance as you would expect, but he just doesn't really have anything special to do, like most of the characters.

I haven't read the book, so I' can't comment too much on the themes there, but the film does have a theme of "Municipal Darwinism," with the strong cities absorbing the weak and their resources in order to survive. An interesting idea, but only really mentioned once in the opening and never really explored. There's also a sense of nationalism/colonialism in having the populations of these cities cheer on as they watch "their" city destroy another, which again is hinted at in the opening and a bit at the end, but never really dug into or forms any part of the plot. I feel this is something that would have been interesting sub-text in the novel, but maybe was flattened out to make the film more Hollywood and devoid of any metaphor or controversy. These might also have had more weight if we saw more than one mobile city throughout the entire film. What happened to all the other big cities? Wouldn't it have been interesting to see London take on Paris, or any other major capital? As it is, there's not even a mention of them.

Produced by Peter Jackson, as the trailers are at pains to point out, he lends his skills well to the big battle scenes, and the visuals are good for them. Jackson hired Philip Reeve for his directorial debut to work on this film, and the inexperience certainly shows in all the points mentioned above. There's plenty that could have been done with this film, I am sure, but as it is, it is a meandering two hours around half-baked plot points connected by huge coincidences and a bloated cast. It fails to make up for the weak plot as well with a lack of excitement, action, humour, or anything else really. Clearly everyone else felt the same, as it was a box office bomb against a huge budget. Mortal Engines stalls before it ever gets anywhere good. The historian characters remark that somehow history is not as they know it, and that it seems to have been changed somehow. I assume this is because the plane has travelled back, but it just seems like an excuse not to be historically accurate (such as the German planes used not being in use until 1942).

The characters are all fairly bland and a typical cast who react to the situation differently. Acting is weak, and we don't really get any insight into the lives of these characters other than the tropes they are meant to be.

[lumiarc]

HIMEKO 'ARTEMIS' FUJIWARA. 25 YEARS / FAKE MEDIUM.

the strong scent of burning incense; the quiet night littered with fireflies; a home far away; transversing messages through the filaments of life and death; rumours spread in smirking whispers; unassuming background soaked in quiet luxury.

artem is a child of lies, or so many mouths would mutter. there's no room to believe in mediumship when the day no longer courts superstitions, but artem will gladly take $100 per session for every client who asks for her to find out what happened to their beloved, or to send a message to those who have passed, peacefully or not. the skeptics and cynics would deem it nothing but a scam, and all the more infuriating is how she doesn't feel the need to justify herself, going around simply nodding along to what people would like to believe. she's a wildcard, an unknown one—in truth: she descends from a long line of wealth in tokyo, with her family possessing spiritual powers hidden from those not in the know. currently living far from her home country, artem is mostly here to gain experience before she returns and fulfils her familial duties. until then, she'll be this odd city girl, frolicking without a worry in the world for any actual career to support her supposedly lavish lifestyle.

-- lively / talkative / adaptive / carefree / friendly / extroverted / whimsical.

KOSMA HWANG. 30 YEARS / ASSASSIN & PAINTER.

the kind of quiet death imposed furtively; silver bullets lodged into the depth of the night; late-night soliloquies; various-sized brushes stacked on neat shelves; irregular tubes of oil paints; eyes trained on either a hit target or an art piece.

when asked about anything private, kosma would typically smile and spill nothing. there's not much to speak of when it comes to his background, after all—he grew up in a so-called lion den raising the children into weapons as a way to give them survival instincts, and he has never known anything about his biological family. he doesn't believe that anyone would want to hear anything about his latest kill either. a job is a job. grotesque details aside, kosma does what's needed of him to survive. he lives comfortably, with his fame among the underground criminals rising rapidly over the past decade, naming him one of the deadliest in the world. not that it matters. on quiet days, he would rather stay in his apartment at the nook of the city, painting away. on a superficial basis, many can tell that he's made a name among niche art collectors, with his pieces selling in hundreds of thousands when put up on auctions.

-- creative / quiet / cantankerous / versatile / moody / resourceful / competitive.

CORALINE AGUIRRE. 33 YEARS / WEAPON DEALER & BOOKSTORE OWNER.

shifting through pages in the company of a night's pitter-patter; the kind of smile disarmingly unfit for the situations; chameleon-like skin shed when necessary; the quaint nook of an old bookstore; careful shelving curated in meticulous orders; the scent of brewed tea throughout the day.

coraline has never lived the lavish life many thought she was destined to have—someone like her was meant to exploit one of her advantages: conventionally pretty, academically gifted, and interpersonally equipped. her parents raised her to be the golden child of the aguirre, except that she bent her own paths backwards and chose to live a simple life of a bookstore owner. master's degree from ivy league aside, she'd rather not work hard for the rest of her life doing something she doesn't enjoy. still, when her father passed, his last will was for her to carry on the empire that kept their family fed for decades in the land of the cruel: weapon dealing. it's a skill acquired and a skill mastered in the first two years of her life, although she barely shows it. she still carries on with opening her mid-sized bookstore every day, except for when the other duty calls.

-- complacent / two-faced / matter-of-fact / unbending / laid-back / bibliophile.

SHILOH ELIAS. 31 YEARS / SECRET AGENT & SHIPPING HEIR.

cigarettes lit against the firmament of dawn; suit and tie galas; gossip printed all over the internet; the quintessential lifestyles written on social media; the mixed smell of gunpowder and martini; the sillage of all-too-expensive perfume inhaled with a smirk.

to frame shiloh in an adjective has been proven difficult. the man is elusive, for sure, that he'd never coin a term for himself. one, he's the heir of an entire shipping empire that he's barely interested in, but he has to when his brother is more deadbeat than he is. two, he once graced the media with his endless strings of a-listed celebrity lovers, creating quite a consumption of flames to revel in his beauty and money. three, nobody has ever known what he does exactly. he's never quite there at the office, and he's never quite there at his mansion. work? questionable. the truth is, he runs one of the esteemed private secret service organizations, becoming one of their prolific agents. all of those rumours? part of the mission. all of the stunts? you guessed it. he is hard to pin down, and even when his first impression is thought to be otherwise—a shallow, privileged heir who would spend so much for a futile party—it's quite a task to figure him out.

-- deceitful / stubborn / secretive / easygoing / effective / intelligent / adaptive.

ALISTAIR AHN. 26 YEARS / INTERN & VIGILANTE.

incessant streams of monetary support; the kind of smile that many would love to hate; dubious work ethics; askew moral compass pointed in the right direction regardless; removed from conventional mannerism; a neglected child left with nothing but ghosts of a parent's adoration.

even when some people would look at alistair in either pity or confusion, there's no need for both. it's easier to be baptized an unofficial orphan when he has that kind of bank account enough to feed the whole city for a year or more. since his parents' divorce more than a decade ago, his parents have never remarried, so he's the sole child of his father, who runs various hotels across the world, and his mother, who spearheads one of the biggest law firms in the country. in this case, alistair has never needed to work in his life if he so wishes, but he has to keep up an appearance somehow. his father sends him monthly pocket money, and his mother allows him to pose as an intern. parental cookies for each, really. apart from parading as a lowly intern, he is actually busy, however. if that random radioactive spider had never chosen to bite him, this wouldn't have happened, but alas— he might be spiderman, or rather, that shadow of black swinging from building to building, but no one needs to know that he has a heart for the voluntary work, really.

-- insouciant / shameless / misleading / punchworthy / extravagant / equivocal.

CASPIAN INOUE. 27 YEARS / UNDERWORLD ERRAND RUNNER.

smoke and mirror leading to another world; a smirk while figuring out something grotesque; deals with those dwelling in the darkest pit of hell; charms reserved to obtain impossible tasks; unearthing teeth from corpses six feet under; dirty deeds done for the inexplicable.

nobody really knows where he came from, and neither does he—he isn't just his parents' son, for sure, when all these demons know of him the moment they see him. he was born in the world with no sign of anomalies except for when his grandmother said that he had his third eye open. his father scoffed, his mother laughed, and his sister shrugged. there was no use harbouring such a premonition about a child that was accidental; thirteen years younger than his sister, and he grew up typical. he retained his mother's good looks, his father's wild predilections, and his sister's cynical attitude. the best of the worlds combined, really, until he started chasing demons in his teenage years. now, he's been travelling everywhere to fulfil his part of the deal: he is to live comfortably, free of any mortal woes, as long as he strikes jobs with those dwelling underneath the human realms. running errands for demons tends to be easy; it's usually teeth, or bones, or herbs, until he sometimes has to sacrifice some people in very elaborate rituals.

-- agile / unpredictable / receptive / intelligent / suspicious / flighty / mysterious.

[reneeee19]

MINERVA (John Wick x reader) Chapter one

Summary: Y/N, a talented ballerina whose life takes a drastic turn when her parents die and her uncle Winston gains custody of her. In New York, Y/N discovers that her uncle owns The Continental, a hotel for assassins, and is sent to the Ruska Roma for training. Despite her initial reluctance, Y/N excels in the art of killing and becomes one of the most feared assassins in the underground world under the alias "Minerva." Winston pairs Minerva with John Wick, another skilled assassin whom she had grown up with in the Ruska Roma and fallen in love with. Together, they become an unstoppable force, taking on dangerous assignments and making a name for themselves in the underground world.However, John eventually leaves his life and Y/N behind, leaving her heartbroken and alone. Years later, he returns with a final request that will put both of their lives on the line.

Looking out on the wet dark streets of New York city Y/N sat in the back of a car next to her uncle. She didn't notice him looking at her until she took her eyes off the window.

"Something bothering you?" Winston asked her, looking down at the young girl. The only light they had to see each other with was the light coming from passing cars on the street now and then. "Why did we leave?" She looked at him with her watery gray eyes that looked like porcelain. "East Germany is not where you belong, Y/N. After boarding school, your new true-life will begin, by my side."

The car stopped and the door opened on Y/N's side. She looked up to the man who's holding the door. Even though Y/N wasn't full-grown and was there for short the man was still taller than the majority of men. He held an umbrella in his one hand as he held out his other for her to take. "Go on," her Winston told her.

After getting out, Y/N watched as her uncle stepped out of the car under the umbrella. It was cold and dark outside not to mention the ice-cold rain. She didn't know what was going to happen, her uncle had told her nothing. She looked behind her and saw a building that looked like an old fashioned cinema with bright lights and a big empty sign. "Thank you, Rufus. I won't take too long" Winston said to the man with the umbrella as he gave him a coin and walked towards the entrance of the cinema with Y/N close behind him.

It looked abandoned on the inside. The first thing you saw was a broken chandelier above a big wooden staircase with large holes in it. The floor was carpeted in red but it looked very worn out as well as the wallpaper on the walls. In front of the big staircase was a man sitting by a table with two heavily armed guards by his side.

Worry was all you could see in Y/N's eyes as she walked with her uncle. The men in front of them showed no sign of emotions nor interest in them until Winston pulled out a crucifix necklace. "The director, please" and the man rose up from his seat, "Right this way, sir".

A place for youths, with criminal inherited, to train to become assassins or hitmen or whatever. They're trained to kill. Trained to stand the pain. Trained to be the best in the business. Most people don't make it out of The Ruska Roma, they stay until they're strong enough with your wounds and scars, both physical and mental.

The man at the front desk led the two of them through a dark hallway after another. It surprised little Y/N how big the building was on the inside but what surprised her, even more, was what waiting on the other side of the door at the end of the scabious hallway. It was another world. It was a gigantic ballet auditorium with balconies engraved with gold, thousands of red seats in front of a golden scene with multiple red curtains. On stage was a tall young woman dancing and spinning in an orchid pink ballerina dress. When the door behind Winston and Y/N slammed shut the unknown ballerina fell to her knees and stared down at the floor below her.

"LIGHTS!" A woman yells as she quickly rises from her seat in the audience. She was the only one in the audience, no other living soul. The ballerina looked up as the lights came on and made eye contact with Y/N.

Y/N noticed the ballerina's pale face was full of purple bruises and a scar by her mouth. Y/N looked in the girl's sorrow-filled eyes and wondered what possibly could've happened to her. "GO! Don't dare to show your face until you get it right" The woman in the audience yells at the ballerina as she runs off stage. The woman then turns around and sees Vanko with his niece and takes a deep breath. "I knew you'd be happy to see us, director," Winston said smiling and began to walk towards her with Y/N close to his side. The director took her cane and met the two of them halfway on the aisle between the two sections of seats.

Y/N was trained by the cruelest, coldest and most disciplined woman there was, the director. She was the owner of Ruska Roma and worked with the high table. She would never stop until things were the definition of perfect. She makes her students dance 20 hours a day and if they dare to take a break they'd be punished, all for perfection in their performance.

"Winston, What brings you to my here?" the director looked old, she had wrinkles in her face and had obviously dyed her hair black to hide her naturally gray hair. Her ice-cold blue eyes and rose-red lips made Y/N shiver." I'm here to sign Diana in on the training program," Winston informed. The director looked down at the girl and held her chin so that Y/N and her made direct eye contact which made Diana feel intimidated by her. Alena studied her face carefully taking in her features.

The director let go of Y/N's chin and looked back at Winston, "You want me to babysit your depressing little niece?".

"I want you to train her day and night." Winston looked down at his niece and saw the confusion in her eyes but didn't actually care. If this is what it took for him to build his empire and reputation this was the price he had to pay. " I want you to take her under your wing. Like you did with Jardani."

"What happened with Jardani was a different" the director argued

"I saved this school with MY money. You'll do as I say" Winston raised his voice.

The director didn't reply because she knew deep down it was true. So she nodded at him and walked down the rest of the aisle. She turned and looked at Y/N. "Well? You think we have the time to stand here? Come!" she ordered her.

[panharmonium]

this sequence doesn’t need any embellishment, but i still think about it constantly.  

i’m thinking about yamato, who, for the first time here, uses his jutsu for his own interests, against the people who trained him to use it only for theirs.

thinking about the fact that kakashi’s arms are still cut up and bleeding from wounds yamato gave him, and yet here he is, breaking law after law, risking his entire life to save someone who two hours ago was trying his best to assassinate him.

thinking about the fact that kakashi comes to the foundation against the hokage’s orders, that he breaks into this facility knowing full well that it amounts to treason, that he deliberately orders yugao away before he does anything illegal, not just so she can get help, but so she can’t be implicated in the choice he’s made.  

thinking about the fact that self-preservation and concern about potential future consequences are things that don’t even register in kakashi’s mind, not when there’s an immediate ethical choice to be made.  in the future, he might be arrested for what he’s about to do.  he might be executed, even.  but all the nebulous, potential future consequences in the world can’t affect his decision, because right now, if he lets danzo do something to yamato, he’s done something wrong.

[it’s like what he says many years later in the manga: to know what is right and choose to ignore it is the act of a coward.]

thinking about how badly danzo wants kakashi dead.  kakashi is the kid he couldn’t ensnare, the one he tried to exploit by preying on the pain of minato’s death but whose spirit was ultimately too strong to be made into another of danzo’s lapdogs.  kakashi foiled all of danzo’s plans three years ago and now he’s foiling all of them again; he can’t be intimidated, he can’t be broken or brought to heel, even lost and hurting and alone as he is - at the most critical moments, he still always does what’s right, not what he’s told.  nothing danzo does can change that.  there’s something guiding kakashi that danzo can’t touch, some kind of moral magnetic north inside him that can’t be cowed by any of danzo’s usual machinations.  kakashi will not be led.  that look he gives danzo when the smoke clears - it’s all fight.  that’s somebody who’s prepared to die for a principle, and danzo doesn’t know what to do with people like that.  he has no power over them.

[thinking, incidentally, about the fact that danzo must have hated kakashi’s father, and that he must hate kakashi even more, because kakashi is the version of sakumo who refuses to recant and who repeatedly decides not to die, despite how badly he wishes he could or thinks he should.]

thinking about kakashi, outnumbered and crouched there with yamato knocked to the ground behind him, preparing to fight his way through every single person who shows up to stop them from reaching the exit, including danzo himself.

thinking about how kakashi is doing all this for someone he barely knows, who tried to kill him, who thought that death was a well-deserved punishment and who fully expected to be forsaken, forgotten, and abandoned to his fate.

thinking about what that must feel like for yamato, who never in a thousand years believed that anyone would come for him.

[tsaomengde]

“Tactility”

It was the only option I could afford, at the time.  To the sales representative’s credit, he made it very clear that the model was already on the verge of obsolescence.  But the other models were too much money, and without a new body, my son was going to die before he turned three.

Now he is turning seven. He can no longer feel it when I hold his hand.  When I squeeze his fingers to comfort him – three times in quick succession, our little tradition – he cannot squeeze back.  The tired-sounding tech who takes my call explains, patiently, that progressive nerve failure because of decay in the synth-glia is a known issue with this model.  When I ask what can be done, he explains, still patiently, that they do not manufacture replacement synth-glia for this model any longer.  Newer, cheaper, better methods have been developed.

They are not compatible with my son’s body.

The old sales representative does not work at my local branch any longer.  He has been replaced with a woman, wearing one of the new, trendy bodies with omni-articulated joints and hard, angular facial contouring. She tells me my son is not eligible for an upgrade for another two years.  She warns me, too, that I am already behind on my payments.  Another month and they will be allowed to repossess my son’s body.  It is their body, after all.  I am only paying the rental fee.

She does not tell me what would happen to my son should they repossess his body.  I do not ask.

---

My cousin works at a nearby hostess club.  One of her regular customers is a heavily tattooed man, unusual in a time when people swap bodies often and are prohibited from modifying them.  But the yakuza are very conservative, and very traditional.

“The target is named Ichinose,” he tells me.  “He prefers his partners stock, so you will pass muster.  We have arranged for you to meet him tonight, at a certain hotel.”

“Why do you need me to do this thing for you?” I ask.  “Surely you have more skilled people.”

“Ichinose wears a combat body at all times, and is good with it.  The one exception is when he is being entertained.  Then he swaps to a pleasure body.  It will be much easier to kill.  No subdermal armor, no Kusakawa reflex package.”  He places a small, silver thing on the table in front of me, like a dart with a handle attached to the back end.  “Two shots to the head, one to the heart, in the traditional way. It will be known if you do not do this.”

I pick up the pistol. It is heavier than I expected.  I put it in my purse, which belonged to my mother.  It is one of the few things, I reflect, that I actually own.

---

To his credit, Ichinose does not shout for help when I turn and he sees the pistol in my hand.  The room is soundproofed, after all, for privacy.

He sits up on the bed, oddly dignified despite his nakedness.  “Who sent you?” he asks, calmly.

“He never told me his clan,” I reply.  “But he told me he would pay me enough so I could buy my son a new body.”

He nods, slowly.  “I see.  May I ask one question, before you kill me?”

I return the nod.

“What,” he asks, “is your son’s name?”

I open my mouth to tell him, and abruptly realize I do not know.

He must see the shock on my face.  “Let me make an educated guess.  He cannot feel it any more when you hold his hand.”

“How?” I ask.  The pistol wavers in my grip.

“It is a standard memory package for a disposable assassin like you.  Once, someone did indeed have a son, suffering in an obsolete body, and they did something terrible so he could feel again.  Then, at some point, they upgraded to a new body, and an enterprising technician found the memories on the old body and sold them.  Who knows how many hundreds or thousands of times they have been repurposed?”  He shrugs.

“But how?” I ask again.

He understands my meaning despite my inability to articulate myself.  “I expect you recently went to a clinic to have minor surgery.  You are stock, but you probably still have an implanted neural shunt for using a modern computer.”

I nod, trying to swallow past a dry throat.

“The various clans have agents in many of the clinics.  You went under one person and woke up a mother desperate to obtain a new body for her son, a mother who happened to have a cousin with a yakuza client.” Ichinose sighs.  “You realize that you will never see the money, whether I die tonight or not.”

I lower the pistol.  “Can you help me?”

“No.”

“But why not?” I ask. “You must know people.  You are strong, you have a powerful combat body!”

He looks at me, and his expression is bleak.  “I wish I could help you.  But did you really think I own that body?  I am here because every week, they move me out of it so they can strip its memory. That way, if I am ever interrogated, I cannot testify to the things they have had me do.”  He shakes his head.  “I am sorry. The only difference between us is that I signed up for this.”

I move to sit on the bed next to him.  I place the pistol between us.

“Will you remember this thing?” I ask him.

He looks at the pistol, looks at me.

“If I can,” he says.

He picks up the weapon.

“Will you hold my hand?” I ask.

He does not say anything, but he does take my hand.  

He squeezes my fingers, three times in quick succession, and when I look up at him, I see there are tears in his eyes.

[mermaidsirennikita]

November 2022 Book Recommendations

This month, I finished IAD in the beginning (and started with a book that I personally think is a true, game-changing romance classic) and started Christmas books in the end. I also read a great villain anthology (I... love villain heroes) and got into some truly exciting ARCs, going into 2023. And I read my first full length Ruby Dixon! I did work and I loved it.

Lothaire by Kresley Cole. Lothaire, the Enemy of Old, is on the brink of having the revenge he's sought for thousands of years. All he needs to do is claim his Bride, and he'll have his thrones. The only problem? His Bride, demonic former goddess Saroya the Soul Eater, has possessed the body of backwoods country girl Ellie Peirce; and Ellie is too strong-willed to simply let Saroya use her body for mayhem. Ellie is new to the world of the Lore, and she should be afraid of Lothaire... but she has a strong will to live, and she senses a desire within him that Saroya isn't satisfying. With Lothaire seeking a way to cast Ellie's soul from her body and Ellie seeking to seduce her freedom from him, the two begin a game that neither is fully prepared to win.

Obviously, this is a truly classic romance by now, and perhaps the? Definitive? Villain romance? Lothaire is evil, and the point of this book is not whether or not he can be good. He never will be, not 100%. The point is whether or not you'll buy his romance with Ellie, and uh--reader, I bought it. He hates that she's "low", mortal and poor. And she's not impressed with his cruelty and erratic behavior. They're both master manipulators, and he doesn't see her coming at all. It's kind of the perfect, inspired match between two incredibly opposite and similar characters. I cannot imagine the pressure Kresley felt to nail this after building Lothaire up as a definitive villain of her series... but fuck, it paid off. It's hot and twisted and incredibly compelling and... achingly romantic, somehow. The vows! The orgasms! The bloodplay! The betrayals! These two sick puppies just might make it.

Shadow's Claim by Kresley Cole. Bettina, future queen of the death demons, is being offered up as a prize in a tournament--whoever wins gets not only her hand in marriage, but the kingdom. The issue? Bettina has been carrying a torch for her best friend, Caspion, for years--and Cas seems reluctant to take their relationship to the next level. More complicated? Trehan Daciano, the vampiric master assassin sent to kill Cas for a transgression discovers that Bettina is his fated Bride--sending both men into the tournament, where either one could die. While initially desperate for Cas to win, the more Bettina gets to know Trehan, the more she's torn about what she wants for her future, and how devastated she would be if either man died.

This one seems to have a controversial reputation in the IAD fandom because of... Bettina, basically. And she is a different heroine for Kresley, for sure. She's a Princess Classic, essentially, except for the fact that she likes to make weapons for fun. And she does really hold back on Trehan because she wants to have this epic romance with Cas so badly, even though it's clear that their love is totally platonic. Was she a bit problematic? I guess, but I liked her because of it. And Trehan is HOT. A cold assassin who can kill anyone, is desperately holding himself back from ravishing the heroine, and offers a bag of decapitated heads as a present? Sign me the fuck up. Also, Lothaire is here, being an absolute nutjob. We love to see it.

MacRieve by Kresley Cole. Uilleam MacRieve is unable to control his inner beast and unable to have even vaguely normal intimate, or hell, sexual relationships due to the trauma of his past, a childhood tragedy that decimated his family. But just as he's on the verge of suicide, he finds his mate, Chloe Webb--the daughter of the man who tortured MacRieve and reawakened his dormant demons. That, they can get past--Chloe and MacRieve's connection is immediate, and it seems that he can bring himself out of the darkness for her. Yet at the worst possible moment, Chloe's own true (unknown to her) nature as a succubus--the same creature that victimized MacRieve as a child--is revealed, throwing their relationship into chaos.

This one was ROUGH to read, in the best possible way. It's beautifully done, it's just, for me, the most intensely sad IAD book. Basically, massive content warnings for childhood sexual abuse all over the place. MacRieve was groomed and raped by a succubus from the ages of 9 to 13, and the discovery led to the deaths of both of his parents and his unborn sister--and of course, he blames himself. He can only perform through his beast because his human side literally can't handle that kind of intimacy, and the revelation of Chloe's species throws him into chaos--and he treats her horribly as a result. You always get why he acts the way he does, but it's never justified. However, the slow healing for both of them, the way they make it through to each other, really worked for me and was just gorgeously emotional. And did lead to one of the funniest scenes in the series, to be frank. Also, the entire concept of succubus culture and dick flu was just... too.... good............ The matchup of a succubus, who by nature needs semen to like... live, and a werewolf, who by nature must give his mate what she needs to live and provide for her at all times... Kresley Cole's brain, man.

The Long Game by Rachel Reid. The direct sequel to Heated Rivalry. This one picks up with Shane and Ilya in a serious, committed relationship, if one that they must keep secret. Ilya left his successful team for a much shittier one to be closer to Shane--and he's feeling the professional effects, while still not actually being able to live with Shane full time. Though Ilya wants to be open about their relationship, Shane remains hesitant--putting a strain on their connection, and threatening their future.

This one was so good! Such a satisfying followup and (I assume) conclusion for one of my favorite romance couples of all time. Ilya's mental health, his isolation as an immigrant, and his trauma over his mother's suicide (and attempts to cover up all of the above through charm and natural wit) is examined at length in this one, and I loved seeing that picked apart. I also loved seeing a relationship wherein two people love each other deeply but still have to do active work to be better partners for each other. It isn't magically there. We also see Ilya getting brought into the fold of Shane's family, the two of them really creating this identity together... It was so natural and great, and the sex remained VERY HOT. (Trophy room sex... please.) The one complaint I'd have is that I think the book could've explored Shane's internalized homophobia a bit more, and the effect this would have on the ending of the novel. That was a big theme in Heated Rivalry, so I can see why Rachel Reid pulled up on it a bit here, but it did feel a bit too easy.

Dark Skye by Kresley Cole. Melanthe the sorceress finds a childhood best friend in vrekener Thronos, who recognizes her as his mate. But after a betrayal that leaves Lanthe on the run and Thronos with permanent injuries, she's terrified and he's enraged. He's spent five centuries tracking her since then--and once he has her, he doesn't plan to ever let her go.

I am open about my love of "childhood friends who fell out and now there's beef but they also love each other". This is that. This is also a deeply.... wild... book. Thronos is basically a demon-angel-thing, and he's very religious, and he comes from a deeply conservative culture, and he wants revenge on Lanthe, and he wants to fuck the shit out of Lanthe. All of these things are true. Lanthe is a pleasure-seeking sorceress who's never ashamed of her sexuality, and never apologizes to Thronos for fucking other people before him; and he does slut shame her a bit for it at first. A lot of the book really is about Thronous having to accept himself for what he actually is, both internally and externally, and what he wants (kinky sex with Lanthe). It's definitely different from many other IAD books, but you know what? I had fun with it. I liked Thronos and Lanthe's weird sex through a sheet thing. I thought it was funny.

Sweet Ruin by Kresley Cole. The Morior have come to fuck up the lives of all the IAD monsters, and first up is Rune Darklight--Rune the Insatiable. A 7,000 year old dark fey assassin known for using sex to get information--but don't kiss him, ladies, because his bodily fluids are in fact poisonous--Rune is thrown off course by Josie, a vampire (or is she?) who seems immune to his venomous blood. In fact, she seems to like it a lot. And he likes her drinking his blood a lot. Rune is sure that Josie is more than she seems--and holding back secrets. But as the two partner up together to save Rune's brother from a murderous valkyrie, he quickly discovers that the real risk Josie poses is in her irresistible appeal to him.

This one was so good. The Morior arc is interesting to me, if not my favorite--but Rune and Josie have been my favorite part of it. Rune is, to put it kindly, a total moron. He's a dangerous assassin who's a master at sexual torture and specializes in edging... But fails to see that Josie LOVES his edging. And I love that about him. I am a sucker for a super powerful man who's bowled over by a random girl, and this book is that. Josie is a really different kind of heroine for this series--illiterate, grew up on the streets, doesn't really know fuck all about the Lore. But she is... wild, and she knows that Rune is the one for her pretty quickly. And it makes for a truly delightful reading experience. Josie blithely confident that Rune will realize he loves her, Rune being totally in love with Josie and completely in denial about it. I love it.

Shadow's Seduction by Kresley Cole. Cas the demon was humiliated by the outcome of the tournament for his friend Bettina's hand--and even before then, completely thrown off by an unexpected night with his new friend, the vampire prince Mirceo. So he does what anyone would do and goes to a separate dimension where time moves differently to become more of a badass. But when Cas returns, Mirceo quickly realizes--they're meant to be together. He just has to convince Cas.

This novella was the first queer IAD book, and I do think it shows some datedness in terms of its treatment of sexuality (Mirceo has fucked a million people, but because he's never bottomed Cas sees him as like... a virgin on some level). But I also really can't speak to the accuracy or inaccuracy there on a personal level, and I'll be honest, I loved Cas and Mirceo together. Cas comes from a conservative culture and struggles with internalized homophobia and recognizing his own bisexuality. Mirceo is a hedonist who seems incapable of actually committing, even if he really wants to convince Cas that he can. I had a lot of fun with this one, and I kind of wish it had been a full-length book.

Wicked Abyss by Kresley Cole. Centuries ago, the demon prince Abyssian was betrayed by his fated mate, a fey princess. Now she's been reincarnated, and sent to the hell plane where Abyssian now rules--and is becoming more monstrous-looking every day. Sian's initial plan is to keep Lila as his captive and punish her for the sins of her past life. But fate may have other plans...

A Beauty and the Beast retelling, straightup, and I wasn't mad at it. This one has everything--curses, past life transgressions, secrets, a heroine who thinks her way out of the problem, and Nix moving her chess pieces in the background, all the time. I won't say that I loved Sian quite as much as I loved Lila, but I did love that when he came the entire hell plane reacted. That was great.

A Wicked Game by Kate Bateman. Read my full review here!

Munro by Kresley Cole. Munro MacRieve has one chance to go back in time and save his fated mate, the human Kereny. Except Kereny is a total stranger to him, and the only way to truly save her is to transform her into an immortal. Problematic, both because the transformation is extremely hazardous and Kereny turns out to be a monster hunter.

The first IAD book published in 5 years (and the most recently released, which means I'm out of books for now) this one is just. Really fun. Does it go as hard as some of my favorites? No. Is the last 20% INCREDIBLY FAST? Yes. But I just had a good time. Munro is such a fucking werewolf dude, even if he tries to be The Rational One between himself and MacRieve. Ren is a fun, defiant, snarky heroine, and I really enjoyed the path her transformation ultimately took. This one is just a fucking romp, and isn't connected a ton to the major arc, which I think was nice--but the ending! The cliffhanger! I fucking knew that fucker was alive but to have him come back like... almost twenty books after his death was mentioned... SOMEBODY GET MY BOY HEATH!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never Cross A Highlander by Lisa Rayne. Read my full review here!

The Countess by Sophie Jordan. ARC; review to come closer to publication.

Villain I'd Like to F... An anthology collection of novellas by Eva Leigh, Nicola Davidson, Adrian Herrera, Joanna Shupe, and Sierra Simone. The assignment? Historical romances about VILLAINS. Fucking delightful, varied, and super sexy. Let's break 'em down below (in brackets).

[Lady Viper and The Bastard by Eva Leigh. A romantic take on Dangerous Liaisons sees Lady Violet "Viper" Hampton and Ian "the Bastard" Molyneaux, two of the most feared figures in 1700s high society England, reluctantly team up despite their distrust of each other. Their mission? To break up a young couple in love by seducing each party separately. I fucking LOVED this. It's my favorite thing Eva Leigh has ever written. We see two fearsome, snarky, kinda horrible people, both in their forties and well aware of the world's caprice, engage in deceit and seduction while actually... falling in love with each other. Violet is a dream of a heroine, sharp-tongued and confident and determined to not catch feelings... While--let's be real--for all that Ian is a slutty, slutty man with a wicked sense of amorality (he is partially into this seduction game because he fucked the girl's mom and wants to fuck the daughter in turn because that would be funny), he's actually smitten by Violet from pretty early on. The feelings are intense and the sex scenes are FABULOUS. There is in fact a scene where they role play as a virginal Violet and her dancing master, and while that shit isn't gonna be for the more... cautious readers, it was certainly for me. I would kill for Eva Leigh to write more about these types of sardonic, gleefully wicked characters. She does it so well.

Seven Sinful Nights by Nicola Davidson. Twenty-year-old widowed duchess Estelle is set to be a servant for her in-laws when local club owner Blake Evans comes to call for the massive debt the new duke owes. Estelle's brother-in-law offers her as Blake's mistress in exchange for the debt being cancelled, but Blake gives her the choice--seven nights as his mistress, and the debt will be cancelled and Estelle will be given her widow's portion. Estelle agrees--in part because she wants the independence that comes with her inheritance and ruination, and in part because she's just too intrigued by Blake to pass up the opportunity. For seven nights only, she'll be his Stella, and his to do with as he pleases. This one was great, also my favorite thing I've read of Nicola Davidson thus far. It has everything--supportive friends with a dash of torture (something Stella has a fabulous reaction to), a lot of good girl-ing, domination, exhibitionism, and sex toys. Frankly, the whole "mistress of a villain" gig thing seems pretty sweet. There's also an age gap (Blake is 35 to Stella's 20) and the sex is ridiculously hot. I was a little ambivalent about one occurrence in the epilogue, but it really wasn't enough to truly taint the story for me. It was just fun and good and had a great climax (technically... several).

The Gangster's Prize by Joanna Shupe. When Isabelle's upstanding politician father goes missing, she's certain the culprit is Billy Baxter, leader of the Hell's Kitchen Gang. But when the demure Isabelle surprises Billy with a confrontation, he claims innocence--and promises to help her find her father... for a price. This one felt a bit different for Joanna Shupe at first, largely in that it's first person, alternating between Billy and Isabelle's perspectives. It took some getting used to, but ultimately the story had the hallmarks of what I love about Joanna Shupe: a dominant hero, a woman who throws him for a loop, and hot hot conflict. Also great fucking. That too. There is one particular moment in this novella that had even me raising my eyebrows, which is hard to pull off. And just when I thought she'd pull a punch--nope. Billy is pretty bad (and so good).

The Bootlegger's Bounty by Adriana Herrera. Rosalia dreams of singing in a New York nightclub--but the only way to get that is to ally with Camden McCullough, a notorious rum runner. The dangerous Cam is overwhelming enough--but throw in crew member Enzo, and Rosalia is very quickly in over her head. Or is she? This one is for the mmf lovers out there, especially if you're looking for a historical novella with a different setting (1920! High seas!). Cam, Rosalia, and Enzo have chemistry to spare. This one does tend towards the eroticism a bit more than the plot, but that's not a bad thing at all. The bond between Cam, Enzo, and Rosalia seems natural and fun and compelling--and yes, everyone does fall in love with everyone here.

The Conquering of Tate the Pious by Sierra Simone. Tate is the youngest abbess of Far Hope Abbey--ever. And she's set to protect the abbey with her life, offering herself up to the marauding Norman invader The Wolf. But The Wolf is not what they seem--in fact, they're a stunning woman, Adelais, who decides she could forego pillaging the abbey... if Tate offers herself up in exchange. You can't really go wrong with a sapphic medieval villainess romance. Adelais and Tate are both pretty hardcore in their own ways, and if you aren't familiar with Sierra Simone's work, this one might go in directions that surprise you. It's certainly hot--there is one particular scene with the hilt of a knife that's.... perfection--but I also enjoyed the contrast of Tate and Adelais and their respective strengths and forms of power. Fabulous.]

The Wrong Marquess by Vivienne Lorret. Elodie Parrish has always been set to marry her best friend George--not by any official agreement, but by an understanding that began when they were children and Ellie fell head over heels for him. But she's twenty-five now, and George is dragging his feet. So while she initially dislikes Brandon, the older brother of her new friend, the upside of their charged encounters could be that George might take the hint and make it official... But Brandon, if initially puzzled and annoyed by the confusing Ellie, might just want to keep her.

This one was really, really lovely. Just the right amount of humor, just the right amount of drama, with plenty of sexual tension (that does indeed get satisfied). It's also a pretty searing indictment of many unsatisfactory friends to lovers plots, even if it doesn't intend to be. George is a prick. Ellie is darling, a ball of anxiety (her fear of death was quite relatable) and desperation for love. Brandon is... fucking hot, and also just like. Desperate to get into her panties, in a way that was quite charming (there is a scene where she leaves a bowl of ice cream unfinished and he grabs it and finishes it because he wants to taste what she was tasting... man fucking down...). Brandon's initial prickliness and distrust of Ellie (he has a tragic past, obviously) giving way to besotted obsession was charming as fuck, and the contrast of his adoration against George's dogged determination to lead her on was just classic romcom excellence. And the ending--as well as the introduction of a certain future hero--did make me want to go and re-read How to Steal A Scoundrel's Heart, which is itself a fabulous read that follows this one in the Mating Habits of Scoundrels series. Just... so good.

Of Visions and Secrets by Kathryn Ann Kingsley. Emma Mather's brother has gone missing, and the only person who seems to have any clue as to what happened is his former professor, Raphael Saltonstall. The issue? Rafe knows a lot about the dark, occult societies Elliot got himself tangled up in--the only problem? Rafe may be more connected to the darker side of them than Elliot realized, and Emma may not care about that nearly as much as she should.

This is an unusual turn for me in romance--the first book in a trilogy that is truly connected, versus featuring standalones with different couples and smaller connections. The Tenebris trilogy reads as one big story versus three separate books, to be honest, and I blazed through it. Kingsley is a self-professed villain lover, but these books are definitely a romance; you just have to wait until the end of the final book to get the promised HEA. And like... Rafe isn't especially heroic. But for all that the world and the magic and horror is incredibly compelling--think 1920s, but with cults and eldritch abominations--the centerpiece is still the romance. Or rather, romances as book two reveals. Rafe and Emma's connection is both entertaining--he's a stern murderous professor with the voices of legion monsters in his head, she's a reckless adventuress who hurtles into trouble and gets turned on by fear--and kind of tragic? Like, he just wants to love her and frankly fuck her the fuck up? But so do the monsters within him? When the dam breaks with this guy, it BREAKS. Frankly, I blame a conservative society. I think that if Rafe had been introduced to BDSM and allowed to explore his dom side, countless lives would've been saved.

Of Flesh and Bone by Kathryn Ann Kingsley. The direct continuation of the above book--but I will add a couple of things. The secondary romance of the series (which is really pretty prominent, hot sex and all) is introduced in this book, and it is great. A sexy nightclub singer/cult leader and the hot battle priest who falls in love with her! I will also add a TW because that nightclub singer is a trans woman, and this book, as well as the third, feature a subplot in which a bigoted villain attempts to essentially undo her (magically-powered) transition--it is not super graphic, it does not last long, it does fail, and he does suffer. The main characters all affirm her and she does have a HEA with her hero, but just a heads up. Other notes: Rafe's shadow tentacles (or, as I have seen them called, his Consentacles) join the party in full in this one, and honestly? The fact that SHADOW AND BONE had the potential for shadow tentacles that can fill every orifice while also allowing the tentacle-user to utilize his fingers and dick... and did not do that.... A wasted opportunity. All hail the shadow tentacles.

Of Grave and Glory by Kathryn Ann Kingsley. The conclusion of the Tenebris trilogy--angsty, wacky, gave me all the "NOT WITHOUT YOU" shit I could ever want. You know??? How it is??? When you monster boyfriend shows up to take you into his horrifying grasp and murder everyone standing in his way??? The only thing I could've used is one more sex scene, but the one we got was like... admittedly... three different kinds of sex at once, so. Fair. Rafe and those shadow tentacles, man.

Bound to the Battle God by Ruby Dixon. Faith is a simple girl working for an insurance company, when she follows the voices she hears from the empty apartment down the hall and ends up in another world. Her only way out seems to be pledging herself as the mortal Anchor to Aron, a god who's meant to learn a lesson. The God of Battle, Aron has been split into four different selves, or Aspects--Apathy, Hedonism, Deceit, and Arrogance. Faith has ended up with the Arrogance part, and boy does she know it. Her life is now tied to his; the only way to kill Aron is to kill her. The problem? Only one Aspect can live and be restored to full godliness, and the other three are out to kill Faith in order to eliminate "her" Aron. And as Aron and Faith travel to destroy his other Aspects, she finds herself not only caring about saving her own life, but keeping the rather annoying, if completely hot, god alive.

This was my first Ruby Dixon, and I was. Sold. Listen, Ruby's style is very chatty and real and it's going to be for you or it isn't--it totally worked for me (though, I'm not sure when this book was written, but some slang used was... less than ideal). The world building in this book is actually kind of insane, too. I loved the mythology of the Aspects and Anchors, Aron's backstory, the worship--it all rang true. There is definitely some leaning into the "fetching slave girl" stuff in this one... less so with Faith, and more with another character, though I wouldn't say that any sexual assault occurs as said character is a willing concubine who wishes to serve the gods. Very religious. But that aside, the romance in this is actually pretty fucking excellent. It's a long book, and while an Incident makes Faith and Aron's mutual attraction very clear, it takes both of them a while to come to terms with their feelings and really start up together. By the time the book ended, I was so invested in their relationship. And if I haven't sold this book enough, there is a scene where he gets so turned on by her eating a piece of fruit that he sits her down in a chair and starts going down on her while demanding that she continues to eat the fruit. It was a great choice.

Never Seduce a Duke by Vivienne Lorret. Review to come closer to the release date, but trust and believe that I love it.

How the Dukes Stole Christmas. An anthology with Christmas-themed (duh) stories by Tessa Dare, Sarah MacLean, Sophie Jordan, and Joanna Shupe. Comments on each in brackets!

[Meet Me in Mayfair by Tessa Dare. Louisa Ward is on the hunt for a wealthy husband in order to keep her family from being evicted by the new Duke of Thorndale. But--shock of shocks--the man she meets at the ball is actually Thorndale himself, and the two set out on an evening stroll that could be exactly what she and her family need... This one was very sweet. Very tame. I mean, I know it's Christmas, but... I liked it as a short story, for sure, but this one might not have been quite my speed.

The Duke of Christmas Present by Sarah MacLean. This one is a basically "what if Scrooge's fiancee who left him came back 12 years later, and both of them were super hot", and I was GOOD WITH IT. It's very charming and second chance, and there is sexual tension aplenty between Eben (yes), and Jacqueline, aka Jack. And yes, that tension does pay off, in a very Christmasy way. I had a great time with this, and it was both sweet and angsty in a way that MacLean masters.

Heiress Alone by Sophie Jordan. This Home Alone retelling sees a young woman end up left on her own over Christmas by her family--with a Scottish duke. And guess what? He's very gruff, and she plans on becoming a nun! This one was so much fun, with plenty of sexual tension and insane happenings. I think that Sophie has a great talent for creating a fast-paced book, and that was perfectly suited for a novella. It had a very snowed in vibe, and yes, there are horny cookies in this one. I love a horny cookie moment.

Christmas in Central Park by Joanna Shupe. This one was probably my favorite of the bunch--the heroine runs an advice column as a married domestic goddess, except she is not married or a domestic goddess. When the brusque newspaper-owning boss guy (who hasn't met her before) asks her to put on a big dinner for the board, she has to fake having a husband, a home, and staff in time for Christmas. But the whole fake husband thing might be a problem, because her boss wants to dick her down HARD.]

[deans-haunted-baby]

Okay I see there are those who are confused as to why most of us are pissed about 15x19 I will gladly explain in depth:

Let’s start off with our boys Adam Milligan & Michael. These characters have not been seen for 10 fucking years. During that time there were Adam stans like myself campaigning like mad to have him and the infamous archangel return for some much needed closure. We had to content ourselves with headcanons, fanfictions and metas based on what we briefly knew of Adam and Michael as people while they unfairly sat in Hell. You might have seen the “Adam’s Still in Hell” memes that circulated. WE WAITED OVER A DECADE FOR THIS. And finally SPN answers our prayers and returns these boys back into the story for the final season. None of us anticipated what their arc and dynamic would look like. Before we could only imagine who these two characters were/are after having been trapped in a cage so long; what their personalities would be like and if they’d be antagonistic to TFW. 15x08 was a surprise because not only were Adam and Michael likable right out of the gate but the writing for them and their dynamic was damn near flawless! And Jake fucking stole the show he killed it as these two. It’s a crime they were not featured in more episodes because the chemistry between these characters is amazing and they’re played by the same dude.

We were given so much background into both Adam and Michael’s psyches in just a short period of time. Their motivations, interests and how they viewed those that wronged them (like the Winchesters); how Hell affected/changed them both and how they viewed their families. We got to see them banter, cooperate with one another and most importantly their different personalities. With Jake Abel appearing in only a handful of SPN episodes, he still fleshed out Michael and Adam beautifully; giving them layers and complexities that most side-characters (who’ve appeared more times than they have) didn’t. The way Jake played Adam’s anger and resentment towards his brothers was brilliant because it’s more under the surface compared to his angsty teenage self in 5x18. He’d become somewhat restrained, laid-back, gentler and wiser which works because Adam displays traits similar to Sam and Dean. He’s kinder and has a sense of humor but none of that distracts from rational thought as he’s quick to analyze and dissect situations. Man, he would’ve made a great hunter/Men of Letters recruit. We know right off the bat Adam’s pissed at his brothers for abandoning him in a thousand-year-prison-sentence and didn’t lift a finger BUT that ironically doesn’t compromise his willingness to help them unlike his past self in 5x18. Jake gets the point across with this character without saying much and that’s what made him so compelling to watch in this episode.

Now Michael was even more of a mystery onion since he wasn’t onscreen as much as Adam had been in past episodes so Jake got to really build on top of this character. Going from the uptight, cold-blooded merciless celestial warrior/dutiful son of God we saw in 5x22 to someone whom despite his arrogance and regal princely demeanor was very human, intelligent, fair, mindful and compassionate. He trusted Adam and respected his opinions even if he didn’t agree 100%. Whereas most angels take over the vessel completely from their original occupant; Michael chooses to share his vessel with Adam as a mutual agreement which says a lot about who he is. He’s fascinated with humanity and wanted to explore it instead of returning to his throne in the clouds. We know that Michael was created specifically to be Humanity’s protector and guardian of Heaven and Earth so these quirks he’d demonstrated in 15x08 aren’t too far off. He holds a lot of pain inside from his abandonment issues with his father whom he loves to a fault and grief over the death of his brothers. On the surface there’s very much an abused child syndrome thing going on with him though he masks it with a domineering presence. And above all this we saw that he was capable of forgiveness. Whether or not Michael always had these traits inside to begin with, its very evident that his friendship with Adam influenced the person he became post-Hell. And that was someone who, like Castiel, chose to rebel for the sake of free will by aligning himself with the Winchesters after witnessing the evil his father had committed. He actually cared about saving the world. This is what we call character development.

What does 15x19 do? It shits all over that. We don’t get to see Adam and Michael’s dynamic at all; and this was perhaps one of (if not the first) most healthy portrayal of a relationship between an angel and its original vessel occupant in the history of Supernatural. Adam is just killed off-screen Thanos style without so much as one last word and Michael barely reacts like he gives a crap. It was just established to us in 15x08 that he’d developed an emotional bond with Adam through years of inhabiting the same body. He protected Adam while they were trapped together in Hell. They were each other’s only friend and source of comfort. They’d developed a certain co-dependency on each other while respecting one another’s space. They’d both made peace with their joint situation. All they had was each other and the writing in 15x19 basically tells us their relationship meant absolutely NOTHING to Michael based on his OOC actions in this episode. He shows up much darker and shadier now that Adam is gone and its like all those years of friendship, things like that independence, newfound strength and humility he’d gained from living with a human for so long are erased. Michael just reverts back to Chuck’s 5x22 bitchboy persona in the most ridiculous 180 shift I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life. And all because his little brother called him mean names. Pitiful. Just when he lectures Lucifer about standing up for what’s right; he betrays his own words, his allies and the rest of humanity in T-minus 2 minutes. That is total character assassination. Nothing about this motivation makes any sense.

There’s no build up to it, no foreshadowing in 15x08 or throughout 15x19 until they get to the lake. He’s completely deconstructed as a character in this episode and rendered weak. It’s like 15x08 never happened. Stripped of all his development for lousy shock value. Instead utilizing all of what he’d learned through Adam and sticking it to Lucifer by proving he could be more than what Chuck tried to mold him into; Michael becomes just another NPC in the story forfeiting the hero he was. And his reasons for siding with Chuck are never specified. Was it about about saving Adam? Was it about proving something to Lucifer (whom he’d already killed in anti-climatic fashion)? Was it all an act that he was in on with the Winchesters; cause there’s absolutely NO FUCKING WAY they could’ve predicted he’d flip on them like that for their magical plan to work. Not after everything Chuck’s done, killing Adam and Jack and leaving Michael to rot in Hell for eternity. And why would he suddenly go along with destroying the Earth when defeating Chuck would probably get Adam back (if that was his goal) which IT DID not to mention its his sworn duty to freaking protect humanity, hello? So his betrayal meant jack shit in the end as it got him killed by his fucking dad!! He’s brought back into the show only to be ruined forever and killed off in the stupidest fashion.

Moving on.

Jack Kline & Castiel. This iron-clad relationship has been in development for 4 in 1/2 years since before Jack was even born. And next to Adam & Michael its the other most healthy relationship on the show. Castiel, a million year old celestial being, spent the first 9 years of his arc on Supernatural following around the Winchesters, being torn between his loyalty to them and to Heaven. He rebelled when he was supposed to be a straight-by-the-book warrior of God. And he defied every rule in the process even when the odds were stacked against him. There was an endless rinse and repeat cycle of love, loss, betrayal and redemption when it came to his relationship with Sam and Dean. It made his character complex, interesting and layered but it still didn’t give him an arc that was his own. Castiel started out moreso being written as just the Winchester’s angel BFF/side-kick. Until Lucifer got Kelly Kline pregnant in 12x08 then things really took off. Before this, Castiel was a lost soul. His faith was broken, he was depressed, lonely, battered and rundown from years of being conflicted over the other angels and Sam & Dean. He felt he’d lost a sense of self and meaning in his life. And didn’t have a mission. Once he turned on Heaven’s orders, Castiel was a rebel angel without a cause so to speak. But like I said this changes the moment he meets Kelly.

Originally Castiel was suppose to kill Kelly in 12x19 because she was carrying the child of the devil and Nephilim are considered forbidden abominations. Told that if Lucifer’s kid was born he could unleash even more evil into the world. But instead of doing what he thought he should, Castiel decides to runaway with her. Choosing to protect her from all threats (Lucifer, demons, other angels, princes of Hell); this especially included the Winchesters. During this short time-frame the angel develops a strong, emotional bond with Kelly and her unborn son that stretches all the way to the S12 finale; to the point where it actually gave him a power-boost. From the womb, Jack appoints Castiel to be his father and protector and he’s given a glimpse into the child’s destiny that he’ll bring paradise to the world. A prophecy that the writers establish head on. This is an unusual circumstance because right here is where Castiel’s solo arc apart from the Sam & Dean takes shape. The journey of becoming a first time parent and guardian. Its a new kind of independence that for the first time has nothing to do with his friends or his family members/colleagues in the sky. Its his own personal mission that he willingly accepts, the second he connects with Jack from inside Kelly. Castiel immediately falls in love with him, before they even see each other; and adopts the boy devoting himself to keeping him safe. Making a promise to Kelly that would later become a vital plot-point in the seasons to come.  

Castiel literally risks everything (Heaven and Earth) to ensure Jack’s birth and ends up dead by 12x23′s startling conclusion. Leaving the newborn infant Nephilim alone in the care of the Winchesters going into season 13; scared, confused and aged into a seemingly 18 year old boy for his own protection. And Alexander Calvert who is a fantastic addition to the cast really brings something wonderful to this role; he’s like a breath of fresh air and a bright light in the middle of a dark room. Jack’s naïve, innocent and curious about his surroundings but also as Castiel once put it “remarkably intuitive”. Right when he’s introduced his arc is intentionally paralleled with Castiel’s. Their alien-fish-out-of-water beginning is practically identical as is their adorable stoic facial expressions. Like father like son. And this helps because while the angel is currently dead in the beginning of season 13, there’s an empty void he’s left behind. So Jack is kind of his temporary stand-in. Odd enough this type of switcharoo would’ve been considered very controversial but it’s handled quite well. Alex is so likable and charming I almost wish Supernatural had introduced him sooner. I mean I really thought I was looking at Castiel’s actual mini-me and not the son of Satan. But I digress Jack’s story in the first half of this season is pretty much about discovery and reuniting with Castiel. He’s a baby so everything is new to him but he’s also one of the most powerful beings in the universe destined for greatness which makes the Winchesters very nervous.

Jack remembers choosing Castiel as his dad which is why he already feels strongly connected to him. Its a bond so powerful that it actually resurrects Castiel out of the Empty the first time. Something Chuck himself was unable to do (that was until the mess that is 15x19). When they’re finally reunited the payoff comes so naturally. Misha and Alex have such a phenomenal onscreen chemistry starting with that first hug; they really play off one another so well that it doesn’t feel like two angels interacting but a genuine father and son duo. So much of what makes Jack and Castiel’s relationship so relatable, deep and endearing is because of what the actors bring to it. But they’re not just a fascinating relationship, they’re compelling on their own too. Both trying to find their way in the world and within the Winchesters’ lives. Death is no stranger to either of them (tragic being that Jack is only a toddler). They’ve each experienced their own personal pain, traumas, life lessons, mistakes and decisions. The biggest for Castiel would be his deal with the Empty to save Jack in 14x08. While for Jack it was the consequences of said deal that would lose his soul causing him to accidently kill Sam and Dean’s mom in 14x18 as a result (something that Jack struggles with immensely to the brink of depression from so much guilt and regret that he’d rather die). Repercussions that would follow into the shows final season. What’s interesting about this deal though is that Castiel made it on parental instinct alone not as a promise to Kelly. He chose to sacrifice himself for the sake of his son as a selfless act of love and kept it a secret from Sam & Dean until his death in 15x18. That’s the extent how much this child meant to him. The other great thing about their family dynamic is that it parallels nicely with the Winchesters. Castiel and Jack share this unconditional love that can never be broken. its even greater than their ties to the Winchesters themselves just as Sam & Dean’s love for each other is greater than any of their other relationships. They would do anything for each other. Castiel would go to the ends of the earth for the little nougat baby because that’s his son.  

Each time these characters were faced with danger or died, Castiel and Jack were overcome with extreme devastation and distress. That said its not just pain that binds these two its happiness. Jack is the best thing that ever happened to Castiel. Literally becoming a father to that child saved him. It brought him back to life, restored his faith and gave him a sense of self-worth and hope he’d long since abandoned. And for Jack, Castiel is the best dad he’ll ever have! He gave this baby comfort, wisdom, nurturing, strength. Was always there when he needed him whether it was to talk or to have his back. No other person in Jack’s life has ever made such an important impact nor made him feel more safe and loved than Castiel. Even when Jack had done such a horrible thing to Mary alienating himself from his family; it was Castiel’s unyielding devotion to Jack that ended up being his salvation. This was huge because once again he’d chosen over the Winchesters proving that no matter what (whether it be the world ending) his son comes first. So when Castiel’s pact with the Empty finally comes due in 15x18 you’d think it’d have an earth-shattering affect on Jack in 15x19. I mean for the first bit it does...until he becomes God. Then its like to hell with that relationship. Castiel is a complete afterthought to Jack and the rest of TFW in this episode. JACK DOESN’T EVEN GET TO GRIEVE HIM PROPERLY. And he just lost his dad because of a deal he’d made a year ago for him. A DEAL JACK HAS BEEN FUCKING DREADING WHILE HE WAS SOULLESS MIND YOU. And when he finally has the power to bring him back, he doesn’t? Jack just walks around with a conceited smirk on his face, bids Sam and Dean adieu and fucks off. I mean who gives a shit right, its only your dad that you love more than anything. This was extremely OOC given that time in 14x14 Jack nearly lost his shit when Castiel got infected with gorgon poison; the anti-venom wasn’t working so Jack resorts to using his powers putting his soul at risk.

I mean if he was so limited to helping Castiel in the Empty AT LEAST FREAKING CLARIFIY THIS TO THE AUDIENCE. This is not about shipping a certain pairing btw. Jack becoming God is not the issue its his characterization after the fact. His first instinct would’ve been to save his dad above getting in touch with the Earth. Yes we knew this transformation was coming it was foreshowed way back in Season 12. Does that justify bad writing or character assassination?? HELL NO.

This is what I’m talking about, episode 15x19 deliberately butchers these characters and their relationships. It shat all over them. No one is behaving like themselves. The pacing is wonky and inconstant. The script feels like it underwent several rewrites and I swear there were scenes cut out. The acting is off too and maybe the pandemic could be blamed for these things but it ultimately falls on the writer. Buckleming screwed up by showing us they don’t know who the hell these characters are, their motivations nor do they give a rat’s ass. And its noticeable on screen. I’ve known better fanfiction writers for SPN than these guys. It’s like they all came back to work but just didn’t care to put the effort into it. That’s why people like me are upset and we have every freaking right to be. Some of us have been with this series for the entire 15 year run. I at least expect these characters to be handled better and for things to make sense. 15x19 doesn’t and its not satisfying its just a cruel joke. The writers and Dabb should be embarrassed to have put this out there thinking we’d just swallow it and shut up. But far as I’m concerned the only thing this episode serves is to disrespect and ruin everybody while angering long-time fans.

MICHAEL. ADAM MILLIGAN. JACK KLINE AND CASTIEL DESERVED BETTER. And that’s the tea.

[milliedazzledust]

War Rages On: part 3 (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Words: 2451

A/N: if you don’t want to cry, word of advice, don’t listen to anything remotely sad. I literally have 3 potential endings to this story, don’t know which one I’ll choose. Part 4 will have a lot more action and part 5 will probably be the last. Don’t forget to keep tissue close by while reading ;) - enjoy!

Previously: part 1 - part 2

When Bucky walked inside the building he had once lived in, he felt anxious. Not for himself, but for Y/N. During the two hours his ride in the air lasted, he envisioned a thousand possibilities this could play out. He needed her to make it out of there. Whatever he would have to endure, he’d agree to any kind of torture so long as she was safe. He knew he wouldn’t bear to add her name to his already long list of victims. Her only fault had been to fall in love with him. It couldn’t lead her to death, not like this, not because of him. He would never allow Hydra to break the only pieces left of him she had managed to glue back together. 

He knew the place by heart, so finding the cells where they would usually keep all their prisoners was fairly easy. Focused on the task, he was taking slow, measured breaths, watching every step he was making, avoiding the guards and the security cameras. He was silent. A ghost. He stopped at an entrance and sneaked out behind a soldier standing by the door. With a swift motion, he broke his neck and used his badge to access the place. Every movement felt rehearsed, a routine he had done a million times. He was mimicking the Winter Soldier with a perfection that still surprised him. He had almost reached the end of an endless hallway of empty cells when he stopped in his track. 

“Y/N” He whispered. There she was on the dirty floor, laying right in front of him. She wasn’t moving and from the distance, she looked pale. Too pale to be alive. 

“Y/N!” He repeated louder, not caring if anybody could hear him.  

She didn’t answer, didn’t even move an inch. He took a tentative step toward her, afraid of what he would see when he would open the door. He raised his metal arm and grabbed the lock, tearing it apart in a swift motion. The gesture was effortless, the power colossal. He didn’t even blinked, his eyes remaining always on her frail figure. He slowly bent down, trying to ignore the bruises visible through her half-torn shirt and the dried blood everywhere on the floor. He laid a fearful finger on her throat and waited a second. Finally, he released a shaky breath, relieved beyond measure when he felt her heartbeat. She was alive. 

Gently cupping her face, he brushed a hand against her cheek. His heart broke when he saw the shadow of a smile forming on her lips. 

“Bucky” She muttered in contentment.

“Yes, doll. I’m here” 

She didn’t open her eyes but tears slowly coursed their way down her face. Her lips parted and she leaned against his hand, inhaling deeply.

“We have to go, Y/N”

“You feel so real,” She answered. “Why do you feel so real ?”

She sounded upset, but not because of him. She could make out every detail, his scent, his voice, his touch. She wondered what kind of cruel game her subconscious was playing as she let his presence submerge her entirely. He raised his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding that, for her, there was no way he could be there. She had spent the last couple of days picturing him in her mind to ease the pain, to escape the torture. He was the fragment of her imagination keeping her alive. Her last shred of strength. 

“Am I dying ?” She murmured. “Is that why you’re here ?” 

“Y/N, open your eyes” He demanded with force.

“No..”

“C’mon, doll” 

“You’ll disappear. You always do” She sounded broken, on the verge of snapping, but kept them closed.

“I promise I won’t” His voice cracked with every word, overwhelmed by the pain and helplessness when she spoke.

She grabbed his wrist, holding it tightly as she slowly opened her eyes. Her whole body was shaking, afraid the soothing sensation of his skin on hers would be gone and she would only see an empty room once again. It took her a moment to realize he wouldn't disappear and she started sobbing. Her shaky hands cupped his face, wiping his own tears. He gently laid his forehead against hers and she didn’t waste any more time and hugged him. She clung to him, her only safe place, as the battle for the remaining shred of her sanity raged. She tried to catch her breath but it was useless. This was days of emotions bottled up to survive, days of dreaming she could return to him. 

“We’re gonna be okay” He kept saying, holding her tightly.

“Bucky …” She choked in despair. This was the safest she had felt in days. 

“I’m here, doll”

He swallowed and blinked a couple of times, trying to stay strong and not break down. 

“We have to hurry, Y/N” He reminded her after a while. 

His voice seemed to bring her back to reality and she suddenly sat up, ignoring the dizziness and the pain it instantly ignited in her body.

“No, no, no, you have to leave!” She started begging, furiously shaking her head and clenched his shirt in desperation. “You can’t be here! You can’t! Please … Please go ” 

“Y/N…”

“You don’t understand, they … they want you, Bucky. They’re using me to get to you” She put some distance between them and pushed him away when he tried to get closer. “You have to go”

“Not without you” 

“You’re not listening!” She replied, frustrated.

“I am! And I am telling you i’m not leaving without you!” 

He stood up and helped her do the same. She couldn’t hold on her own, too weak and tired. She pressed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself and his metal arm circled her waist.

“I’m taking you home” 

“I don’t think so” A voice with a thick accent replied behind him. 

The former assassin cursed under his breath and was quick to react. He pushed Y/N behind him, hiding her wounded body from the intruder. Suddenly on high alert, he stared at the man he once knew, a man hired by Hydra with the sole purpose of creating new super soldiers. He was the brain behind the Winter Soldier program. The Sergeant subconsciously grabbed the woman by her hip, bringing her as close to him as possible.

“Dr.Faustus” He greeted him without sympathy.

“At last we are reunited, soldier”

Bucky clenched his jaw so tight his veins were now visible. In all the time he had spent away from Hydra, he never thought he would come face to face with the doctor ever again. All their encounters had been turned into a distant memory, another one of his nightmares. The Sergeant was unexpectedly conflicted, like two parts of him smashing against each other for the first time, two very different men colliding together without his consent. The broken one felt scared, powerless, becoming once again a victim, while the assassin was already on the lookout, trying to find his way out of there. 

Y/N could feel it. Hidden behind him, she laid her forehead on his back, defeated. His muscles were tensed under the pressure of his emotions and his grip on her hip tightened. She couldn’t contain her terror and silently cried. How could she save him now that they had him back ? What could she do when her body was in no shape to fight ? 

“I wouldn’t advise trying to escape” The man spoke. 

“You know I don’t back down without a fight” Bucky replied, eyeing the three agents surrounding the doctor. They were outnumbered. 

“You might want to reconsider this time” He smirked viciously. 

He made a step toward the couple, moving like a snake reading to suffocate its prey by strengthening its hold around their neck.

“Before you think about taking them down,” Hydra’s doctor began, pointing at the agents next to him “You should know she won’t survive. You see, the girl serves no purpose anymore. She was a mean to an end and she played her part perfectly. She got you right where we wanted you to be, up against a wall”

Bucky gritted his teeth in silent fury. 

“I’m assuming she means a great deal to you, soldat” He sniggered irritatingly. He seemed to enjoy the emotional torture. “Now the real question is, how far are you willing to take this to save her life?”

Bucky looked around him and just felt a rage he couldn’t explain, a will to survive he never had before. Y/N grabbed the hand on her hip, entwining their fingers, and he closed his eyes. For a short instant, he held onto that comforting sensation, the sense of home she could bring to him by the simplest touch. He remembered the day they met, the exact moment he had fallen in love with her and the day they had promised forever to each other. He had a collection of precious memories they had built, engraved in his heart, and each one of them had the power to lessen his pain and lighten the weight on his shoulders. They needed more time to create their magic, to turn the horror they had endured into sparkles of distant memories. More time to live the life she had given back to him. But even more so, he needed her to survive.

“If I surrender myself, what guarantee do I have you’ll let her go ?” He offered. 

“No!” Y/N shouted, trying to move around Bucky. He didn’t have to use much effort to push her back. 

The doctor laughed, pleased his plan was working flawlessly. He turned on his heels and nodded at one of the soldiers next to him. The man took a phone out of his pocket and handed it to the former assassin. 

“What is this ?” Bucky questioned him, ignoring the pleading eyes of the woman begging him to not give in. 

“A message” Dr.Faustus replied. “With coordinates to this place, addressed to your Captain”

“This isn’t enough” 

“Press the button and send it yourself, then” 

Bucky gave him a wary look but took the phone nonetheless.

“I have a condition” He raised his eyes to stare at the man.

“You are in no position to negotiate, soldat”

“If you want me to follow you willingly, you will listen”

He pursed his lips in annoyance.

“Very well”

Bucky glanced back at his girlfriend, barely holding on her legs but still ready to kill him herself for what he was about to do.

“Let me have a moment with her” He pleaded, his voice deep with emotions.

“If you plan to escape …”

“I won’t” He cut him with a promise he would keep. 

He seemed to ponder his options for a moment before he gave a nod, accepting the request. Bucky dropped his head in defeat and pressed the button on the phone screen, sending the message to Steve and praying he would be there soon to get her out of there. 

The doctor turned around, gesturing to the other agents. In less than a minute, the room was empty and they were alone for what would probably be their last moment together. Bucky made a step toward the woman, knowing whatever time they had it would never be enough, but before he could do anything she gathered all the strength she had left and slapped him across the face. 

“I hate you!” She shouted, tears streaming down her face. “I hate you!”

He had expected her anger but her words still hurt him. He couldn’t begin to understand what she was feeling when his own heart was already being torn apart. 

“I had to…”

“Why didn’t you fight ?” She choked. “Why … why did you gave up on us ?”

“I gave up on me!” He told her in a deep voice, quickly closing the distance between them and cupping her face with force. “I’m choosing you over me”

“There is no me without you, Bucky” She muttered

“They don’t know the Winter Soldier is no longer here” He told her, trying to reassure her. “Whatever they have plan for me, it’s not gonna work”

“You don’t know that”

He laid his forehead on hers and a tear on his own rolled down his cheek.

“I know I need you to stay alive. I’ve lived on borrowed time long enough, Y/N, maybe …”

“Don’t you dare!” She cried, pushing him away. She struggled to stay on her feet but she couldn’t seem to care. “I swear to god, Bucky, I will kill you myself if you dare giving up now!”

“Steve is gonna find you and bring you back” He continued.

She shook her head and her eyes grew hot, the tears welling so quickly it was impossible to blink them away.

“Please don’t break my heart” She whispered.

His lips started trembling and he choked on a small but audible sob. Losses after losses, he had shed his own shade of tears, had been broken beyond measure and brought to hell. This was something else. Pain had a sweet taste of horror and self-hatred when it was felt under the power of all his sanity. 

“Let me hold you” He begged her.

Despite her anger, she didn’t waste any time and sank her face into his chest, letting him comfort both of them. He kept her close, looking down at her with gleaming eyes, wishing he never had to let go as he tightened his arms around her. 

“I love you” He spoke right next to her ear. “Like I’ve never thought it was possible to love. You picked up every pieces of me you could find and glued them back together. You built the man I am today from scratch with your kindness, your resilience and your love. You gave me a second chance, and a second life by your side, and what a life it has been. You are my world, my soul, but most importantly, my home. You will always have me, doll.”

“Don’t say goodbye like that” She muttered, an aching wound opening deep in her chest as the tears kept falling.

“This isn’t goodbye, I’ll make damn sure of that. Wherever you are is where I am too. That’s the deal we made, right ? I’m with you till the end of the line”

“This is the end of our line” She forced up the words. 

He raised her chin with a finger to look into her eyes and in that moment they kissed, together in each other's protective embrace. 

“It will never be”

“Promise me you’ll give them hell”

“I promise I’ll fight with everything I have”

Tag list below the cut

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[lochnessies]

@cockati3l the church isn’t ruling people from behind the scenes. even the devs confirmed that. the church in adrestia doesn’t exist, the church in the alliance is ‘toothless’ and nobody pays attention to them as said by lorenz, and the western church is in open rebellion against the central. also, when does the church control anybody in the game? nobody is forced to follow them and they even take on nonbelievers as staff.

once again, what corruption are you talking about? it can’t be what edelgard mentions in her speech because that’s been proven false.

it can’t be killing the western priests because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af

it can’t be changing history a little because in your own words “what the fuck so u want her to do?” humans killed her race when they found out the amount of power stored in their bones, blood, and hearts. at that time in fodlan’s history clans were fighting for power with the relics of her family and she had to find a way to broker peace as said by intsys: “seiros and co. meddled with history not in order to rule over humans, but to quell the flames of war and chaos as much as possible, and to also keep a steady balance about humanity.”

also yes, rhea was about to step down. she says so herself. even calling herself a “mere proxy” for byleth.

tell me how claude piggybacked off of edelgard’s war to further his own aims? the game tells and shows that he’s spending his time trying to just keep the alliance together.

she’s literally called the hegemon. there is no freedom under her rule. she centralizes all power onto herself and makes herself the supreme ruler. what she says goes and in order to achieve that result she murdered, lied, and stole.

she literally said “i have no regrets.” why? because she doesn’t. she may feel kinda bad about all the dying but obviously not enough to stop what she’s doing and find another path.

also her words about the followers of seiros are far from kind. she calls them “mindless” multiple times (even in her s-support). the faithful are forced to flee from her. people even lose contact with the believers in the empire, and it’s not even allowed to be one in the first place. not to mention in hanneman/manuela’s ending the church can come back but only under the empire’s supervision. so we have a state controlled church. look at all the freedom!

when does dimitri leave crestless people to get fucked? he literally talks at length that he believes that people with crests and people without need to work together and recognize each other’s strengths.

also the church isn’t the one behind the “crest system” (if you can even call it that since the way each house interacts with it is so different). crests/clans became noble houses because of their strength (aka the empire’s meritocracy in the beginning) and the strong aka crest bearers rose to the top bc in the 91 years it took to kill nemesis his elites had already started their own bloodlines and families. the nintendo interview says that rhea lied about the origin of the crests and relics bc she wanted the wars to end and the only way to have gotten rid of the crests humans had would be to genocide them.

with nemesis gone and the adrestian empire now in charge of the continent, a meritocracy started to form among the nobility. hanneman in his support with dorothea says this about the founding of the empire: “consider this. at its inception, the concept of nobility assumed that the greatest among the populace would rise to power. in my mind, i believe that those who value knowledge, those who strive for more, and wish to protect and guide their fellow man. however, in practice, nobility often serves to keep those deemed commoners down, segregated from those who, by chance, were born to a noble family.” this is also paired with ferdiand’s support with edelgard: “certainly, we must recognize the common folk who strive for greatness and attain it. but for those of us born into nobility, things are more complicated. from birth, nobles must excel. if we do not, we will be forced out of our houses. this environment breeds superior individuals, and they, in turn, recreate the rigorous environment for their own children. without that cycle, there would be no political elite guiding the world towards prosperity.” so from these supports we learn that the empire was founded on the idea of the strongest shall rule and they would be replaced if they didn’t reach a standard. however, over time, the nobility started to abuse this power of theirs and the idea of meritocracy was forgotten. which, ironically, is how it always works in the real world as well. that’s where the concept of nobles often bearing crests comes from. it’s comes from the empire not the church. and when faerghus and the alliance break off from it they kept the tradition. also, if you talk to rhea in verdant wind when she talks about zanado you can tell she hates crests. at the very least she hates the fact that humans have them due to how they were acquired. you know, through genocide. it’s also in the book of seiros that the reason the goddess left was because people were abusing crests and it saddened her and she went back to the blue sea star. so no, the church isn’t propagating anything. and they can’t force the noble houses to adhere to their religion so they don’t.

i’m not sure what you mean by “squander any rebellion”. i think you mean squash/stamp out? well the only rebellion we see in the game is from the western church and as i said previously, the priests were punished because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af. the church wasn’t the aggressor and only stopped the rebellions because they were dangerous and were also attacking innocent people. however, we do know that in crimson flower there are rebellions under edelgard’s rule and they are put down as well by the empire secret police aka hubert.

the devs also mention that azure moon was written to be a counter to crimson flower. and that is the route where dimitri has to learn to rely on his friends and work together with his people in order to usher in a bright future. in crimson flower edelgard berates people who lean on anybody else for support (all while taking some from byleth) and believes humans need to stand on their own two feet. in azure moon she says: “if after all of this you believe the weak will still be weak, that is only because they are too used to relying on others instead of on themselves.” to which dimitri responds: “yes. perhaps someone as strong as you are can claim something like that. but you cannot force that belief onto others. people aren't as strong as you think they are. there are those who cannot live without their faith... and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living. you path will not be able to save them. it is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong.” so yes, there is someone who represents human unity in the game: dimitri.

edelgard doesn’t make fodlan better. she’s the game’s hegemon (called this in three routes). there are rebellions under her. her people are starving (ashe says on cf), she attacked two nations she had no rights to, and defamed an entire race/religion.

crimson flower ends in flames and darkness. this is made VERY clear by the ending mural. unlike the others, which all show a very joyful scene; am has dimitri being loved by the people with archbishop byleth at his side, ss has byleth being held up in the crowd of people as it talks about how they are now the arbiter of every soul and mother of all life (which are the exact words used to describe sothis), and vw has claude talking with the people and the almyrans are visiting; which infers peace between the two nations. however in cf, we have edelgard standing on the flags of the nations she has conquered. she holds a napoleonic staff in her hands, and the mural portrays people with their heads bowed in obvious sadness and defeat. the biggest indicator that this is not an ending to be celebrated, but rather lamented, is the border. In all the other endings, the border is white and is accented by the color of the route. in cf you can see that the border is black. black and red: colors synonymous with evil or darkness. the epilogue also mentions rebellions against her rule that she has put down.

edelgard’s role in the story is that of nemesis 2.0. someone that is manipulated by twsitd and is fed false information to lead her to finish what nemesis started over a thousand years ago - the extinction of the nabatean race.

another massive red flag is what the devs have said about crimson flower being the supreme ruler route. “edelgard in "crimson fower", or rather known as the, "supreme ruler (hegemon) route" is something we honestly meant to be much more difficult to enter.” (they were talking about why it is harder to enter cf than ss). let’s focus on the word ‘hegemon’. the direct definition is ‘a supreme ruler.’ in another interview they mention the ‘hegemon’s path’ which is a chinese philosophy that goes along with the mandate of heaven that the devs have said that they based cf off of. there is a rule of the mandate of heaven: the right to rule is only granted if the ruler cares about his people more than he cares about himself, and if this is not the case, then the people rise up to overthrow the tyrant. we know for a fact that edelgard is this ‘tyrant/hegemon’ because she is called this in the game.

the devs have also said: “due to all the previous titles in the series, the thought/impression that the empire = antagonists is left upon the playerbase. when you think about the "empire", you usually get some sort of "bad/evil" image, i think. and as for the story, it really feels like it started from the romance of three kingdoms, but we force them all to take part in school life. In other words, a period in which there was peace must exist, before starting the fires of war. and because of that, someone evil (villain) has to exist, and so we had the empire bear that burden.” this interview also blew the common argument pro-empire fans had of fodlan not being at peace at the start of the game. they said themselves that the three countries were at peace. even the game states at the start that ‘these three ruling powers now exist in relative harmony.’

also even if other characters did some things wrong that doesn’t suddenly let her off the hook for her actions just like her’s don’t nullify theirs. if she wanted to peacefully change how things worked in her nation then fine. i don’t care. however, she invaded two other independent nations in order to change their systems and put them under her control. that isn’t morally gray no matter how you spin it. it’s tyrannical.

actually it was humans as a whole who fucked up the earth first. the agarthans are a race of humans that have been around for over a thousand years at the start of the game. when the goddess sothis came down from her home on the blue sea star she arrived in fodlan and took on a form that resembled humanity and lived among them. she used her blood to birth a race of children called nabateans. in the beginning, these two nations lived in harmony.

sothis and her children helped the humans advance their technology and weapons over time until the humans’ hubris grew to the point that they began to wage war on each other and eventually the goddess herself - the one who gave them the technology to do so. as confirmed by seteth, (who was there during that time) some of the weapons they used in the war are also seen in the game, such as the missile of light that destroys fort merceus. so basically, it was a ye olde nuclear war that almost completely destroyed the land and the humans. during this, a faction of humans left the surface to live below ground. they built a city called shambala and officially became known as agarthans. back on the surface, sothis used her godly power to try and heal the earth. however, due to the incredible damage done by the weapons, so much of her power was used that she fell into a deep sleep to try and recover. so no, sothis didn’t fuck shit up. it was the arrogant humans that took her kindness and decided they wanted to try and kill each other with it.

yes, dimitri and claude do have the rest of fodlan under their command at the end of the day. however, they way they achieved this was nothing like edelgard’s. they had no intentions of starting a war to unite the three under their rule. dimitri was given the alliance (the round table came to an agreement and willingly became part of faerghus) and when he kills edelgard the empire is now, by default his whether he likes it or not. same with claude. he defeats the empire which by that point had taken the kingdom. both are now without leadership and he doesn’t even stay. he fucks off to almyra. edelgard on the other hand started the war to put all of fodland back under her rule. it’s not comparable.