#shoxxcc

[shoxxcc]

perfect eyes

one’s words—careless and sharp, can carve permanent scars to someone so fragile and beautiful. one’s words can create darkness one does not wish to bask in. one’s words can push one to reside and grow familiar in a space where there is only a distortion of suffering. but one’s words can also give someone the light they needed; the light that will blind many, but will clear one’s gnawing feeling hidden beneath a façade of healing.

pairing: non-idol!park jisung x gn!reader

g: slight angst (if you squint), fluff

wc: 0.9k

warnings: insecurity, bullying/teasing, knife, allusions to threats

“ahh.. they're still puffy...” jisung sadly huffed an air, referring to his eyes which you find adorable but he finds bothersome growing up. something small, yet is a big deal to others and to him as well.

after hours of reading from his new books last night, he couldn’t help but sneak some ramen in the kitchen at 4:00 am. two packs to be exact and some mandu—probably a few, like three.

but waking up with puffy eyes, jisung regrets acting like a mad man who hasn’t been fed for days.

sitting on a stool in the kitchen island, he watches you rummaging through drawers and picking up utensils you used to make the first meal of the day while getting annoyed at how loud the pressure cooker has gotten; blaming the appliance for being so loud for you to not hear him.

“baby, do you know how i can get rid of these?” he calls for you, wanting some attention.

“what?” you questioned, still minding your business. but jisung didn’t like you not paying attention to him. and for the time you waited for his answer, he remained unexpectedly silent instead. until he’s got you turning around to look at him who had a frown in his face, before asking again, “i’m sorry, baby. what do you want to get rid of?”

“does my eyes look puffy?” he questions, almost vulnerably.

you examined his bare face; one that literally looked like he had just awoken, but nothing else was new nor did his eyes look puffy. “they look alright. is that what’s bothering you?”

jisung nodded timidly, “you may or may not get mad, but i felt greedy last night...” he admitted how he sneaked out of the bed and with how much food he had consumed.

“i’m not mad at all. you can eat whatever you like, whenever. just in moderation though.” you turned around to continue what you were initially doing.

“i just,” he hesitated, but decided to say what has been bothering him since he woke up, “….i can’t stop thinking about that one kid back then, saying my eyes look like soggy udon.”

and just as quickly you chopped the scallions and bell peppers, a remarkable 180° swift of your body and the loud piercing of the knife on the chopping board startled jisung. “excuse me? whose kid said that?”

the moment jisung saw the look of annoyance and anger in your eyes and the knife you held close in your hand, he shakes his head in fear. “i-it’s nothing big, baby. it just randomly popped in my mind again…” he looked down with his teeth sinking in his bottom lip, anxiously tapping the marbled surface.

you felt your heart being squeezed at the sight, as well as the grip on the knife that stabbed the wooden board. you think he’s probably regretting opening that topic up in the first place—always so careful and mindful with what he says. and you somehow felt bad knowing he’s not even the one at fault here.

eventually, you put the deadly weapon down, walking towards where he is. your hands instinctively reached to cup his face, like they belonged there.

“it’s something big if it affects you badly.” he only pursed a sad smile as you caressed his plump pillows. “you don't look bad with your bags. they make you cute and make your eyes more pretty.” you assured him and you swore you saw a glint of hope flashing in his eyes. “and you have the prettiest small eyes i’ve ever seen.”

his heart warmed at the compliments.

for years, jisung had carried the insecurity of having small, puffy eyes, with only a big dream of fitting and conforming to the standards mainly thrown by the society. what all began with a little joke gradually became constant teasing by some kids in his childhood.

but he had never really gotten to end the nightmare by escaping these restraints that held him growing up without repeatedly falling into the abyss of doubts and uncertainty.

for years, he lived close with all the familiar point outs of his eyes; far from the foreign compliments that refuged him safe.

and now those same deep pools that drowned your own two years ago looked at you with pure fondness. this time, with brimming tears. wanting another assurance, sweet talks, some praises, another compliment—wanting more coming from you. not that he doesn’t have any ounce of trust in your words, but jisung’s actually starting to think that he’s capable of breaking free from the years of restraints, now that he's genuinely believing he’s lovable enough because you are there to tell him so.

“really..?” he quietly whispered, “you think my eyes are pretty?” and you nodded slowly.

“very.”

and that's on period.

“but they make me look-”

he was taken aback when your body leaned forward, closing his eyes in the process and anticipated a kiss on the lips or on his cheek but was kissed on one of his closed eyes instead.

when he fully opened his eyes, you were already grinning, “you're very, very perfect, love,”

oh, how much he wants to erase that grin of yours with a kiss and replace it with a flustered expression.

he could not imagine a life without the only person with a glorified soul who’s capable of making him feel special and worthy.

jisung settled his big hands above your small ones on his cheeks, while leaning forward and returning a smooth kiss on your lips. when he pulled away, he still couldn’t erase that grin on your face. but at least you were happy, and so was he.

“thank you…” his thumbs rubbed the back of your hands in comfort; wanting to melt under your touch. “what would i actually do without you?” he forced a pout, and you both giggled—yours becoming louder. and as quick as flash, he stole another peck on your lips, shutting you up. “but uh… as much as i'd love to be this close to you…” jisung slowly removed himself away from your hold and shoved your arms to your sides—back to where they belonged. his lips stretched in fear as he looked everywhere in the kitchen but your eyes, “…your hands are spicy, baby.”

credits:

— dividers: @uzmacchiato @strangergraphics @saradika-graphics

— photos: pinterest

the author: i made this probably like two years ago as a drabble, with just like five lines. i’m kinda impressed i was able to work it out and make it longer. and this was initially inspired by that one live of jisung and renjun. to whoever said that one comment about his face, he’s vv perfect !

and by the way, we have some crazy coincidence here! this work was posted on 06.25.2025, and the day after, jisung had a bubble message saying his eyes looked puffy/swollen on their way to smtown london. but i tell you, i cannot make up something as crazy as this actually is.

some works of: shoxxcc

[shoxxcc]

How Would You Feel?

How would you feel when telling lies has becoming a routine for a relationship that was once complete and perfect? Having lesser time for each other, two people learnt to be distant with one another—literally and emotionally. Will they be able to fix the broken pieces of their love as a whole? Or will they stay broken with their unspoken lies?

pairing: non-idol!park jisung x fem!reader

g: angst, fluff

wc: 3.7k

warnings: characters lie (to not be a burden, etc.), characters feel like burdening when it comes to relying or depending on the other, characters blame themselves, mention of anxiety, major exams ('cause why not)

The usual pretty smile you see from him, his giggles and adorable laughter, his deep lulling voice, his sweet compliments, his how are you's—where did it all go?

Jisung and you are both situated on the bed; backs facing each other.

What happened to your relationship? You were doing great as you can recall. How did it go this way?

"Ji?"

"Hm?"

"How was practice?"

"Good." Discontented with his short answer, Y/N nodded, even though the other couldn't see her before Jisung spoke up again. "We won, as always."

"That's great. You did great today..."

"Hm,"

It was the driest conversation you've ever had with him. It wasn't what you're supposed to be receiving as a response. You could always picture the same thing he would always say whenever you compliment him or tell him how he did, because you never fail to show and tell him that he's always amazing no matter what.

It was supposed to be, "Really? Aww thank you, love. I was worried. I love you so much."

You missed and love everything about him but this side he's showing you these past few weeks. His awkwardness, the way his cheeks and ears heat up when he's flustered, him complimenting you every chance he gets. Him safely wrapping you in his arms when you sleep or when you're right beside each other. Him who randomly talks about the universe matters out of the blue. His weird side, his clumsiness, his humor, his gentle and soft touches, him sulkily saying to let him be and just watch you when you tell him off that he's been staring at you for too long. Him telling you that Chenle hit his butt again and that you will confront the said suspect for he had hurt your baby.

Everything.

Weeks since it had all started, both of you didn't really have time for each other as you were preparing for your own upcoming exams. And only today, you managed to head straight and come over to his apartment after a long exam. Those days when you both didn't have time for each other, you didn't realize he was growing distant with you. No daily texts coming from him, unless you message him first. Not even asking how you're doing, and when you do ask him, he'd reply so shortly. And you weren't used to it, because usually, the moment you ask him how his day went, he would tell you the whole story regardless if his day went well or not.

You faced his side and propped one of your elbows to sneak up on him, placing your chin on his arm, "You okay, baby? You're quiet these days. Is there something wrong?" You would lie if you said you're oblivious to not seeing that there's something wrong—your boy doesn't act like himself around you anymore. Still, you asked him, hoping he was just tired and sad.

"I'm tired, y/n."

You froze. He called you by your name, and not his signature endearment for you— love.

You tried to regain your composure, as if his coldness didn't affect you, "Mind telling me what happened?"

"I had a really long practice earlier and I'm tired, so if you don't mind, I'm gonna sleep first."

You felt your eyes pool with hot stinging liquid, as you slowly lay back on the mattress, staring at the open ceiling, pulling your blanket up to your neck as you crumble and bite your lips to prevent yourself from crying.

What were you being so sensitive for?

He said he's tired and he wanted to sleep first and you still try to push the buttons. What was wrong with that?

Why aren't you used to it? His cold responses. It's as if he didn't want to talk to you. But you tried to understand because he's tired—as what he had said.

"Okay, I'm sorry... Sleep well, alright? I love you." you propped yourself up and placed a goodnight kiss to his head. You were contemplating doing it actually. Thinking he'd shake you off and your physical affection, but he didn't.

You stared at the ceiling again. Overthinking things that you aren't used to.

He would always kiss you back when you're about to sleep. From your forehead, to your nose, and to your lips, sometimes he'd sneak up kisses to your cheeks when you're asleep and he loves to kiss the crown of your head the most whenever he feels like it. He'd always give you kisses before you sleep, always.

But why isn't he giving you at least one now?

Still you tried not to mind because he was tired.

"I was wondering," you begin again, sensing that he was still awake, listening, "What happened to us?"

You know you wouldn't be able to receive a proper answer or response, it has been like this for a few weeks now.

"Baby," you felt your lips tremble, wanting to just let it all out, "Answer me please... I can't sleep thinking if I've done something wrong that I feel like you start to change and become distant from me."

It was suffocating. Being in the same room with him, knowing you wouldn't be able to sort your thoughts as long as he doesn't tell you. It suffocates you to the core that you're crying because things suddenly just went wrong for the both of you, and without you realizing.

You couldn't last the atmosphere that night with him in that room without him cuddling you as if there's no tomorrow, that you found yourself in the kitchen for a glass of water. And then to the bathroom to splash your face with cold water to stop crying, but to no avail, it didn't help.

You decided to just spend the night on his living room couch, uncomfortably trying to situate yourself in order to have at least enough hours of good sleep from the sleepless nights you had these past few weeks because of overthinking.

You hated how the room and natural temperature made you curl your body and reach for your legs to emit warmth from yourself because you weren't used to not having Jisung pulling you impossibly closer to his chest under the blanket for warmth. You didn't really mind bringing your pillows and blanket down because you know you still wouldn't be able to sleep properly, yet you still hoped you'd get a good amount of sleep for tonight.

Because like Jisung, you are also tired.

Few good minutes after your breakdown, you were thankfully pulled to sleep. Just that you cried yourself in the process.

Unknown to your sleeping state, Jisung had opened the door to his room, finding your pitiful self on his living room couch. His apartment wasn't as lively anymore; that even at the slightest noises from outside his room, he could hear—like your muffled cries that you tried to cover before it died down because you fell asleep.

It broke him.

He carefully strolled down the stairs without making any loud noise, carrying the blanket from his bedroom—thoughts occupied with how you chose to distance yourself from him so you would be able to cry without him seeing or hearing. How suffocating has it been that your heart couldn't take it anymore, but still chose to act firm around him?

When he neared your spot seeing you shivering and frowning, Jisung felt his heart sink—and so did his knees.

He felt awful. How could he treat you like this? How dare he bother fill your mind with confused thoughts because of your current situation? Just how much of an asshole can he be for you to even stay by his side and love him still?

It is stabbing his heart that you are still trying to build back your relationship while he... he's close to giving up, even in himself.

His cold treatment to you didn't mean he was falling out of love—that he's so sure of.

He was occupied—mentally; and both with time and responsibilities.

When you got sick for three days, he wasn't aware. Though he asks you how you're doing every single free time he gets even if he's so tired. Jisung wanted to be sure you were doing okay, however, that night he asked why you didn't show up to school during the day (in courtesy of your best friend who told him), you made up a lie saying you were in Busan for a sudden family reunion which will last for 3 days because you know he has upcoming major exams he's trying to catch up along with his dance and soccer practice. If you would've told him you were sick, he'd ruin his study schedule in no time just to rush over to see you and take care of you himself.

After the three days of your "trip to Busan", Jisung informed you the night before that he'd pick you up to school and get breakfast together at his favorite café. He was so excited to tell you he had almost unexpectedly got perfect scores for their major exams regardless of his tight schedules as a student, a dancer, and as an athlete. Jisung was so giddy just by imagining that you'd jump in joy with him at the news and to hear you praise him whilst hugging him and even giving him sweet rewards. He was looking forward to it.

But at that day, the boy went to school alone—downhearted.

When he arrived at your residence the next day, he had met your mom from the outside who was getting ready to start her car to work. The woman who hadn't seen the boy for long greeted Jisung and went towards him to ask how he's been, and so did Jisung. But the mind of the younger one was itching to ask about you, his girlfriend, when your mother slipped, forgetting the agreement you made with her to lie if ever she meets Jisung and asks about your well-being and whereabouts. After realizing that she had told Jisung she was finally gonna go back to work after having straight work leaves because you were sick, she knew she was too late to make up excuses because Jisung had already barged into your house and headed straight into your room where he sees you, bedridden.

Your mom had followed the frantic boy to your room, who was just standing near your door, eyes brimming with tears before he looked down his feet and turned to your mom to politely tell her to leave you two alone. After your mother had gone, he closed the door; stepping slowly to not wake your peaceful sleeping state. School had long forgotten when Jisung decided to sit and drop his backpack on the floor to see you closer.

He felt so betrayed yet guilty. Jisung felt so betrayed that you had to lie so you wouldn't disturb his important schedules and he felt so guilty for actually believing you and leaving you like this while he's out there trudging happily because of his great news. It felt so off and now that he had seen you like this, he wished he wasn't so happy about getting those grades and for winning another soccer practice. He wished he would've known you were sick and he would've taken care of you while he fits his study schedule to his other appointments.

Why did you have to lie though? He would've been content with getting a passing score while being beside you—not that he thinks you're a burden to his studies and to his practices. You were far being a burden to his life; you make his days better. All Jisung wanted was for you to trust him and to be comfortable with sharing with him 'cause you've been going out for almost two years now, and because he has always wanted to do everything he can for you.

The boy shakingly reached up to your head, feeling your body temperature not too warm—he had guessed you were slowly getting better. One thing he had immediately noticed the moment he came in the room was your pale, skinny face he hadn't almost recognized. You lost too much and he wasn't aware. His thumb had reached to your cheek, rubbing smooth circles where he could feel your cheekbone than your fluffy cheeks more prominent than ever. At the contact, you stirred in your sleep in which he panicked, but you were asleep so soundly to even notice his presence.

"Just why are you like this... I hate how you feel so undeserving and unworthy to take care of." Jisung's lips start to quiver, "You do know I will do anything I can to make you feel happy and safe around me. A-And that by means also feeling safe to share everything you want to share with me and knowing you're never a burden to me."

That day, Jisung managed to take care of you himself without you seeing him every time you stir awake and sometimes looking at your phone for hours before sleeping again. And every time you are awake, Jisung is in the living room. He had rummaged through your refrigerator to see if your mom had made you a porridge that he could just heat up. Well he did. Jisung didn't know why when he felt like luck was with him cause every time he opens your door, you're asleep and he could bring you something to eat and remind you to take your medicines in a note.

Jisung wanted to feed you himself but thinking about the possible horror on your face when you see him beside you and remembering the lies you made up for him to not show up in your house, he resorted to just pretending to be your mom and stayed until dinner when your mother had finally arrived. The woman didn't expect Jisung to stay the whole day and take care of you, thinking you were just gonna have a talk when Jisung asked her to leave you both. She had also learned before Jisung bid her a goodbye, the latter had told her to not tell you he had come and he was with you the whole time.

Since then, when you finally regained your health, you were so focused on catch up on your own exams and you were so excited to finally see your boyfriend who hasn't been texting or calling you for days now.

Jisung just felt afraid—he felt so inferior and unworthy for you.

He watched your peaceful state. This was so familiar. Finally, you managed to sleep. He wanted to carry you back to his bedroom but he wouldn't want to steal the chance of you getting a proper sleep from all the nights you were thinking about the possible things you have done for this relationship to suddenly shift cold. He carefully placed the blanket around you, as he sat on the cold tiled floor.

Jisung reached for your forehead, placing a long, heavy kiss, pulling away when his tears started pooling his eyes and dropping on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." he began, "I'm deeply sorry for hurting you, my love..." His tears continued to cascade his cheeks as he carefully watched your face, noticing the dried tears that strolled down your soft ones.

You cried a lot.

"I don't want to rant to your unconscious state right now. I'd be more of a coward if I did so. But I feel like talking right now. I hope we'll get to talk properly tomorrow, hm?" he brushed strands of your hair that got in your face, "I missed you so much, love..." his lips quiver as he started to break down again. "I don't know what has gotten into me lately. You don't deserve this—you don't deserve me..." he wiped his tears away, head hung low, picking with the skin around his nails—a habit he usually does when he's anxious not until you came to his life and helped him manage his anxieties. "If the universe will let me, I will fix us. I will do anything to fix us and get back to normal again. I can't live with the thought that you'll start to get tired and hate me. I need to see your smile and hear you laugh again, run into my arms if you want 'cause I'll catch you and will never let go of you again. But in order to fix everything, I'll have to fix myself first."

You stirred in your sleep when you felt a soft kiss against your forehead, followed by a whispered, "I love you so much, and I'm sorry for everything. I love you..." it felt and sounded familiar, but you thought it was just another part of your dream.

You felt the sunlight from the windows directly hit your face, causing you to wake up from your sleep. You looked through the window, thinking you won't be able to face Jisung today and he wouldn't want to see you, but you shrugged the thought and tried to move when you felt weight above your stomach. How occupied were you that you didn't even notice the thick cover that hovered above you, along with the arm of the person you missed the most?

His forehead was laid flat on the small space beside you, a position that sat on the cold ground.

You panicked at his situation immediately. You don't like it when he's uncomfortable, so you tried to sit up but stayed still instead, since you also didn't want to stir him awake.

So it was really him who kissed your forehead and whispered I love you's and apologies last night, yet you thought it felt and sounded too real to be a dream.

You reached your hand to his that was above your stomach, caressing the back of his palm with your thumb. It was only then that you wished you didn't do that action to his hand because he was awoken by that simple touch, completely forgetting he easily flinches when touched.

He snapped his head immediately, looking at the reason why his hand felt ticklish to finally avert his attention to you who was staring at him.

His eyes beamed like the sun greeting you in the east. "Good morning," you mentally hoped he's not mad at your anymore, "love,"

And you shut eyes when Jisung leaned in and kissed your head.

"Good morning, my love," you replied with rather teary eyes, rubbing your thumb on his hand. It's been so long since you woke up to him beside you, greeting you a 'good morning', kissing your forehead, and calling you 'love' again.

You missed this.

“It’s cold out here, you should be in bed.” he commented, but when he was reminded of the reason why you were on the living room in the first place, he apologized.

"How are you feeling?" you question, and he pursed a smile. God you love it when he smiles, and you're seeing it again right now.

"I don't want to lie, but I don't exactly feel good about how I've been treating you these past few weeks. But I'm happy to just see you this close again, and hearing your voice, greeting me a good morning. I don't want to ruin the start of your day with my explanation, I hope you understand."

"Okay, let's take things slowly. Should we prepare breakfast instead?"

He nodded eagerly, helping you sit up straight before he decided to push himself up to sit on the couch and hug you.

"I missed you," you felt the tremble in his voice, feeling him tighten your hug and his face buried on your neck. "God, I miss this." he pulled away only to hold both sides of your neck, carefully watching your face, as if he hadn't seen it for years and decided to study it again, "You're still angelic as ever, my love." You felt your heart flutter, beating as if it had just resuscitated. There's the Jisung you know, the one who loves to stare at your face and compliment you. "I love you," he leaned and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, "And I'm genuinely sorry for treating you in a way you didn't deserve to be treated." then he placed another soft kiss on your nose, "I was an asshole, but I love you, that's why I'm gonna change and fix us again. I hope you forgive me—at least not now, but let me prove to you that I will not treat you like trash ever again. I hope you give me a chance to explain things that's been bothering me, and apparently—affecting our relationship."

In his eyes were sincerity and courage to change for the best—the sincerity that you wished for so long. You saw how hot liquid cascaded his cheekbones but he was still trying to show you a smile; big, warm hands still on your cheeks, thumbs rubbing against your skin. You held his hands, before removing them off your face, your own hands reaching to hold the sides of his face, leaning in to capture him in a gentle kiss.

You love him so much you decided to give him another chance. You love him so much you easily gave in to his sincere apologies, because you weren't mad at him in the first place; just puzzled. And he was sincere.

"I'll listen, I will always listen. Do talk to me always, okay? 'Cause I'm always ready to hear you out."

Jisung sighed in relief before enclosing you in a warm hug again. "Thank you, I still don't know how I deserved you, but I will repay your kindness and will love you through your best and worst. I love you..."

"You and me; let's always talk, hm?"

"And you and me," Jisung grinned before ruffling your hair, "we should stop lying to each other, it's unhealthy!"

You giggled as you ran your hand to rub his back, "I love you, too; through your best and your worst, I will do."

An overwhelming sense of feeling washed over you when you realized your boyfriend was back to being himself—the Jisung you know and loved the most. And a relieving, breathable air surrounded you both. You weren't suffocated anymore.

Everything was slowly getting manageable again.

credits:

— dividers: @uzmacchiato @strangergraphics

— photos: pinterest; instagram (@the_and.y)

the author: this was written almost three years ago. i apologize for the errors (i was a growing dream weaver). and like, i've been used to writing with intended lowercase, it feels weird to read this now—so proper. but i'll try to fix it without changing the plot and make it more understandable for you to read. soon! i promise.

some works of: shoxxcc

[shoxxcc]

— gone with the wind since ‘03.

— a dream weaver for j.s. park only

𓂃 𓈒𓏸⋆𓇼𓆉﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏𓆝 ⋆.˚ 𓇼⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡

✉ bon space, shoxxcc

#shoxxcc

credits:

— dividers: @uzmacchiato

— photos: pinterest

[shoxxcc]

in this space, we write.

j.s. park

☄ how would you feel? — angst, fluff

3.7k. how would you feel when telling lies has becoming a routine for a relationship that was once complete and perfect? having lesser time for each other, two people learnt to be distant with one another—literally and emotionally. will they be able to fix the broken pieces of their love as a whole? or will they stay broken with their unspoken lies?

☄ can we? — fluff, smut

2.3k. it never occurred to you that your jisung would be open to wanting to go beyond just making out, despite having him as a boyfriend for almost three years. you were definitely sweet with each other and are always contented with pure kisses and pecks, hugs, cuddles—makeouts the most. and when the moment came that his needs were on the line, you were on a put on a mental crisis.

☄ perfect eyes — slight angst, fluff

0.9k. one's words—careless and sharp can carve permanent scars to someone so fragile and beautiful. one's words can create darkness one does not wish to bask in. one's words can push one to reside and grow familiar in a space where there is only a distortion of suffering. but one's words can also give someone the light they needed; the light that will blind many, but will clear one's gnawing feeling hidden beneath a façade of healing.

☄ the little prince — fluff (coming soon!)

[shoxxcc]

Can We?

it never occurred to you that your jisung would be open to wanting to go beyond just making out, despite having him as a boyfriend for almost three years. you were definitely sweet with each other and are always contented with pure kisses and pecks, hugs, cuddles—makeouts the most. and when the moment came that his needs were on the line, you were on a put on a mental crisis.

pairing: non-idol!park jisung x fem!reader

g: fluff, smut

wc: 2.3k

warnings: mdni! making out, mentions of sex (they may or may not do it), dry humping, bruises

you found yourself in jisung's room being invited to stay for the night and for the next ones because his parents are out for three days. he didn't really want to spend the whole three days alone, so he suggested to make up for all the days he missed spending time with you and taking you out on random dates, insisting that you stay with him until his parents comes back. you also haven't really seen jisung around the campus more often because his schedules don't match with yours, with the addition of his dance class and soccer practice.

jisung was a man of hardwork. he took architecture, dance class, and even joined the soccer club. he was talented—blessed with a great stamina for someone who couldn't even try to get up in bed at 10:00 in the morning.

you moved closer to jisung who had his back leaning in his headboard, already opening his arms for him to wrap on you.

"i missed you," he muttered and kissed the crown of your head, "how have you been lately?"

"i don't know, that new guy haech in my socsci class has been a bit of a bitch to hang out with lately, but he's good and very intelligent for someone so... you know. but he's okay, and a very fun guy—he's just a little friendly menace."

jisung smiled and sighed in relief, "glad you're making friends in that class. i didn't want you to become an assa (outsider), since you told me everyone seemed foreign to you,"

"what else," you scooted and snuggled your head on his hoodie that he placed on top of his torso as a blanket. you inhaled his signature perfume—a mixed scent of cool and fresh cologne and baby powder. you couldn't get over how good jisung smell that it lingers in your nose even with just the thought of him. almost, you wanted to fall asleep in his embrace but decided to ask about how he's doing lately, "you? you've been coming home late from both dance class and soccer practice. are you good?"

"more than good. you know i can take long hours of exhaustion, baby," he smugly patted his built stomach which earned him a soft flick on the forehead, "ow, what was that for?"

you sat straight and looked away, "that was unnecessary," you grumbled and he can see how your face turned red from the secondhand embarrassment, but jisung could only adore you. he wanted to tease you more, but he'd prefer to not let you suffer. you gave him a weary look to which he laughed at, and spoke in a monotonous tone as you poked his arm, "can you just please give me a hug? i just really missed your company,"

as if a magic genie, jisung granted your request in an instant. with a soft smile, he messes with your hair and immediately, your head was carefully placed on his chest, urging you to listen to his heartbeat and allowing you to let your arms snake his waist while he had his wrapped tight around your frail figure.

"i can't take how you look at me like that. it crushes my heart to not see you and give you comfort whenever you're needing it. and i'm really sorry that i haven't been taking you out on dates lately. i promise we'll go out more often and even hike on weekend mornings," jisung rubbed your cheeks with his long thumbs, emitting comfort he had longed to give you. he pressed his lips gently against yours for a moment before pulling away and proceeding to rest his head on your lap, securing his arms around your waist.

"our relationship's turning three next week," he randomly muttered, his soft gaze locked with yours. "and i still love you. still and will love you. cringeee righttt? but genuinely, i love you."

moments like this still feels new to you, with jisung randomly professing his love for you. though he could be cheesy at times, he was genuine with his words and actions. jisung's way of assuring you that he loves you is through constant verbal affirmations like compliments, praises, sweet talks—his admiration towards you are geared from the words that comes out of his mouth. as if you're fragile, he's always careful with choosing the right words to express his feelings.

"i'm lucky to have you," you almost whispered as you played with his hair, "and i hope i'll get to live every moment with you,"

jisung poked your nose when he noticed you were starting to get emotional. his big hand found itself resting on your cheek, ever so gentle. "no one's leaving you, okay? i'm not leaving you," at his reassurance, you nodded and composed yourself before you let your emotions consume you.

trying to change the topic, jisung fixed his position and properly lay his head on your lap, "love?"

"hm?"

"do you have plans for tonight? i mean i kinda didn't set one. i just want to be with you," he snuggled closer to your embrace, urging you to stroke his soft black hair.

"i actually didn't..." your hands found themselves patting and stroking his soft hair and caressing his stretchy cheek.

"hmm, do you wanna do something?" he looked up to meet your gaze, urging you to think hard but you're left with a simple request.

"cuddles... i guess?"

"yeah, that could do?" his response felt off. you suspected he wanted something more. you could see the contemplation in his eyes as he looked away and stared at the ceiling, fidgeting.

you grabbed his chin for him to look at you as you placed a soft kiss on his lips, "makeout?" your lips turned into a pout when he only scrunched his nose and giggles before he sat up and started attacking you with kisses.

"i'm in."

you were in a filter of laughter and teasing as you did chase each other's lips. one of his big hands found itself wrapped around your wrists, alone, pinning you down on the mattress and used his other hand to tickle you. god he was so strong and so attractive, but he was a menace. you tried to break loose from his grip and tackled him on the mattress this time. little smacks and soft punches attacked his well-toned torso that was visible under his loose white shirt but he was more than glad you were being cute and giggly so he just let you be.

you positioned yourself properly, climbing on top of him, stradling his legs with yours as you try and grabbed both of his arms and pinned them on both sides of his head. you do know he was being easy on you and let you take control.

"god, you're attractive," he commented before breaking loose from your grip this time and grabbing hold of your waist, dragging you to lie on top of him and devour you once more.

you can't get enough of the fact that he likes to force his tongue on yours, especially when you're gasping for air and he uses this to his advantage.

you manage to pull away to sit on his abdomen to give yourself time to breathe and your swollen lips to rest, but shortly after, he followed and sat up straight, only to find himself stuck on your sweet lips again.

goodness, he was addicted.

you snaked your arms around his neck in hopes to get impossibly closer to his warmth and let him suffer and gasp for air this time, but jisung's hands started roaming under your sweater and your body fall limp from that simple contact of his hands on your skin.

it was ticklish; his skin felt so smooth against yours, until one of his hand reached up your nape and the other one was situated on your waist, thumb rubbing smooth circles to your skin.

his touches were gentle down there, though, his kisses weren't. you couldn't really decipher how good of a kisser your boyfriend was, despite being together for almost three years and making out, well, ever so often.

his lips are plump; the best part why your teeth always find themselves biting the bottom lip, like what you just did now. at the sudden sharp pain, jisung groaned as his hand flew to squeeze your thigh, pulling away for a bit to change spots again. he started trailing your jaw, then to your neck, and to the crevice of your collarbone. and oh god, he knew these were your weakest spots, that's why he started sucking the skin on your neck, a guttural moan leaving your mouth.

"damn baby," he muttered ever so casually, not knowing your whole body shivered just by hearing his voice go an octave lower every time he's being intimate with you, before proceeding into sucking at different places again.

"ji..." you whimpered when he gave pecks from the spots he attacked.

"hm?" jisung waited for what you were about to say, but instead of responding, you grabbed fistful of his hair and gasped at your favorite spot that he just sucked.

you mumbled incoherent words and let out a lewd sound you didn't even expect yourself was capable of doing. embarrassed, you hide your face between the crevice of his neck and should. and you sure could feel jisung smiling amidst painting you red marks on your clavicle; proud of the effect he has on you. "i hate you..."

"hm?" jisung teased and pulled away from that spot, kissing everywhere than the spot you found yourself being lost into every time he abused it, "what did you say, baby?"

"you're driving me crazy-"

jisung let out a short, deep chuckle, before sucking the spot again, loving the way you try to muffle the moans that were escaping your mouth by burying your head on his shoulder again.

"you sound angelic as fuck when you do that," jisung commented before he ended his foreplay by licking a strap of your skin which caused your breath to hitch–his favourite thing to do after bruising your neck. "do that again."

how lewd was he getting?

jisung pulled away to look at your messy hair, tucking the hair that gets in the way of your face. he looked at you in the eyes with lust and love, seeing how rapid your breathing had become. "was i too much?" he asked in genuine concern, "you okay, baby?"

"more than fine," you breathedly deeply and you felt warm as you see him gazing over you with eyes full of love, and hands full of comfort and security. you didn't even realize he was rubbing circles around your back now. "thank you," you said, hugging him, rubbing the back of his head and neck, and stroking his hair in exchange. "i genuinely cannot grasp the fact that i'm the one lucky, chosen-by-the-heavens mf who gets to kiss you like this."

at your comment, jisung pulled away with a hand reaching your nape, pecking your lips once, twice, and diving back to savouring you once again. "i might also not get over of the fact that i'm the only one who can make you feel like this." you jumped when and moaned when he went for your neck. again for who knows how many times. he earns a smack from you, but he only held the hand that hit him and peppered it with kisses before saying, "i have a favor,"

you, who wanted to give jisung everything, anticipated, as if prepared to give him what he wants because he's always the one that gives you regardless of what you need. and now, you wanted to return the favor.

"but i need you to decide with me,"

"what is it?"

it took at least a good ten seconds as jisung contemplated on what he was about to say, but he wanted to be open to you, at least.

"can we fuck?"

‘woah!'

' woah down there!’

you couldn't quite identify if you were hearing that right. he said it so casually and you weren’t prepared. but your boyfriend's eyes were telling you that he was pure with his words.

'... you mean we... do...?' you mentally asked him.

"sex, baby." to your surprise, he answered as if he was able to read your mind. "i've been meaning to have sex with you—to be more intimate with you and to understand your body's needs. but i didn't want to pressure you. i just think you aren't ready yet, but i just couldn't resist how you're making me feel right now. only if it's okay with you..."

'can we?' you thought. of course you can, but will you? your mind was still hazy from the experience a few seconds ago, and you had a hard time processing that jisung wanted to fuck you. he want his d to your v and you can't imagine him hovering over you, seeing that beautifully sculpted face while taking control of making you feel good. goodness! you were sweating wells.

at the confirmation of his words, you gulped hard, still trying to process that your boyfriend is open about this topic despite your two, nearing three year relationship. you stared at him; the desire in his eyes still evident, but his expression had already soften.

at your hesitation, he cupped your cheeks and pressed a sweet, long kiss on your forehead before saying, "it's okay if you don't want to, and i'm not gonna force you either. i’m just curious if you’re already open and ready to this topic." he smiled and kissed you again, this time, on the lips. "should we go to bed?" at the absence of your response, he worriedly check up on you, "you okay? d-did i- surprise- i mean, i'm sorry for opening that to you. i didn't mean to make you uncomfortab-" jisung last word was muffled when he was cut off by your lips. though surprised and confused, he responded to your eagerness with the same energy. feeling like he was out of air, jisung pulled away, not intentionally offending you but he was making sure this was real, "baby?!" you didn't respond, instead, you pushed yourself more to him, wanting to be closer, wanting to feel more of his warmth, wanting to make him feel better. and jisung could only feel rewarded, "are you being for real-"

amidst the heated kiss, jisung was caught off guard when you accidentally rubbed your self on his abdomen and to his manly area.

he almost cursed at your sudden change of demeanour, feeling a wave of guilt thinking he manipulated you, so he had to stop what the both of you were doing and held you by your waist to keep you from moving further and have him cum in no time.

"love, w-what's with the sudden-"

"it's okay..." you kissed his forehead, assuring him, "i've been wanting to do this, too," you dragged your hips on his abdomen forcefully this time, and jisung once again, held firm of your waist to prevent you from moving and to stop the building pleasure on his member. you are definitely becoming a menace.

"s-stop moving for a while– oh my god. are you really sure about this?" he asked, brows knitted in worry.

you nodded eagerly, "i am, because it's you. and i trust you."

"for real?" you nod, and earned a soft peck from your boyfriend, "goodness gracious, i can't believe you- tell me what you need, alright? we…" he motioned to the both of you, "-should talk. talk, okay? tell me everything you feel and especially when you want to stop."

"there ain't no stopping now. not when i waited for so long-"

and it was all what jisung needed to take his clothings off and you do with yours, discarding it on the floor before he smashed his lips back feverishly on yours.

"i was worried for a second," he muttered in between kisses and you chuckled. you gasped in surprise when he aimed and sucked your neck in an instant, licking a strap for another time, "i'm gonna fucking blow your mind now." he whispered, before setting you down carefully on the mattress.

you sure know the night wasn't ending with just bruises on your neck.

credits:

— dividers: @uzmacchiato @strangergraphics

— photos: pinterest

the author: i did not intend for this to be wild (not that wild wild but still wild). supposedly, it was set to be a drabble. but incredibly, my fingers moved on their own, pressing themselves on the keyboard and created an over two-thousand word count instead. now, who did that?

some works of: shoxxcc