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armoredsuperheavy · 2 years ago

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MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: An Insufferably Queer Film Review

I rewatched MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987) for the first time since it came out last night and WOW I have some thots about this thing. We enjoyed roasting the living shit out of it but there's a few gold nuggets in there despite the brutal budget cuts that impacted the plot and what not.

Contains plenty of spoilers.

God bless Wardrobe

OK so … the film doesn't bother to set up any real motivations for the characters, and He-Man (an incredible looking Dolph Lundgren rrrowrrrr) has almost no dialogue which is such a fucking waste. But this complete lack of narrative framework means we can apply OUR OWN explanations to events.

From the very beginning Skeletor has this obsession with He-Man, which will simmer and then culminate in a final showdown. But before we get to that hot mess, we have to wade through the middle of the film.

He gets as much screen time as He-Man.

Meet the utterly repulsive dwarf scientist Gwildor played by Billy Barty, a rinse-and-repeat of his performance as an utterly repulsive magic troll in Legend (1986). This dwarf is the film's Jar Jar. His face is like a deep dish pizza after an acid attack. His real mouth is visible behind the immobile thick prosthetics and it makes for some truly disturbing close-up dialogue shots. Please, pan away from Pizza the Hutt and give us another shot of Lundgren's pecs please I am begging you, DP

We find ourselves in Gwildor's hobbit hole, and he's a magical inventor. So he has this cylindrical object, it's not clear whether it's a weapon or a teleporter but I'm calling it the Butt-Reamer 9000. Inexplicably, there are two of these things and Skeletor has the other one, and wants to collect both of them. So Skeletor has an excuse to go hunting He-Man as he's hunting his missing McGuffin, er I mean sex toy.

Features rotating ticklers, a big improvement over the Butt Reamer 8000.

The thing about the Butt-Reamer 9000 is its magical power to make even this promising setup devolve into a grind as it whisks the Eternians into the magical, enchanting world of a 1987 New Jersey parking lot. WHO WROTE THIS?

The entire middle of the movie is pretty much hot garbage and involves police detectives, arson, vandalism, high school prom, and other dumb bullshit. Aside from the distractingly naked He-Man, the good guys are an utter bore and include some Eternians, some regular Earth humans and their quotidian concerns which really brings down the fun of the movie. (No, baby Courtney Cox, I don't care about your imminent breakup with your mediocre boyfriend!)

The film owes a second mortgage to Star Wars and steals a lot of ideas from it, from bad guys in shiny black stormtrooper helmets, to heroes shooting blue lasers, baddies shooting red.

Let's turn from this depressing state of affairs and focus back on our cherished villain blorbos.

(L-R: Karg, Evil-Lyn our goddess, and Blade.)

Evil-Lyn is beautiful, evil, a cold bitch queen. Gurl you can do so much better than sticking with this loser Skeletor.

Dump! Him! He's gay anyway!

Skeletor is a shit lazy boss of Greyskull and makes Evil-Lyn run the goddamn place in general. He literally shoots the messenger at one point. Great for morale, there, Skel buddy.

Look closer. Fierce!

There's a number of budget rate henchmen on the job, including Karg, who used a whole can of aqua net this morning and is running around in a white fur capelet with a massive bouffant. He is just doing his best okay, really it's hard to look fabulous around these other bitches.

Blade definitely deserved more screen time

Also, Blade, who had a slutty costume of silvery scale maille or something, and was a bit like a sci-fi bondage Riff Raff / space Judas Priest. Best side character costume.

So, there we have it, the queer coded villain roster of the film.

This homemade collage is for sure taped inside Skeletor's locker at school

Note the gigantic brown eye.

Finally, thank Satan, we return to Castle Greyskull, though it's more like beige-and-brown-skull. But aside from the questionable use of faux marble finishes, this is a quality villain lair with hard points installed directly in the floor of the living room, convenient death pits, and an excellent throne setup that I'm pretty sure they recycled for The Fifth Element.

He-Man is captured alive and brought before Skeletor. Blade does the honors with a 15 foot glowing red bullwhip to He-Man's naked and oiled back, much to the delight of dyed-in-the-wool sadist Evil-Lyn.

Movie is getting good now. Was the side quest to Jersey really necessary?

Skeletor, though, watches this action from the throne and has a lot of interesting responses. We had to conclude that Skeletor is a big old bottom but won't admit it. As a dom he is utterly ineffective. He's trying to make He-man kneel and all this shit but He-Man is not submissive at all. Skeletor is … lol. He really just wants to smell He-Man's dick.

The depths (heh) of his bottom nature will become apparent shortly. But first, a costume change.

Skeletor's glow up --- i'm every woman.

Honey we know you're just trying to impress He-man.

Werk tho.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Hole

The gigantic sky-sphincter directly behind the throne has slid open wide… "Begin! The Goatse Ritual! Join me, He-Man, as I become LORD OF THE GAPE" But He-Man's phallic symbol shines bright in defiance. In the end, Skeletor is vanquished symbolically by his own nature and instead of his hole swallowing He-Man, a gaping hole swallows Skeletor instead.

They don't really explain what happened to Evil-Lyn after He-Man's inevitable victory in final man to man combat but she was too smart to get caught sleeping in there and must have survived. What a hot evil competent BABE. After the events of the film end, I vote that Evil-Lyn seduces Teela (the good guy solder lady) and has a hot toxic lesbian affair with her.

Evil-Lyn serves cunt in hell 4 evar

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Want some more?

Nice fanart

Another breakdown on Buzzfeed if you enjoyed mine this is even more gay headcanon

The movie is free on Tubi if you want to subject yourself to it.

ArmoredSuperHeavy, 19 Aug 2023

#motu #he man #skeletor #evil lyn #movies #movie review #80s movies #camp #queer coded villains

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computingpostcom · 3 years ago

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This tutorial will cover all the steps required to Install Gogs self-hosted Git service on Ubuntu 20.04|18.04|16.04 server. Gogs project which is written in Go aims to build a simple, stable and extensible self-hosted Git service with a painless setup process. Gogs is distributed as an independent binary distribution and runs on all platforms that Go supports, including Linux, macOS, Windows, and ARM. Gogs has excellent performance and is very light. It has very minimal RAM and CPU utilization. A VPS with 1 CPU core and 256MB RAM is enough to start using the service. Features of Gogs Gogs self-hosted Git service has the following set of features ( from Git ) Activity timeline SMTP/LDAP/Reverse proxy authentication Account/Organization/Repository management Repository Git hooks/deploy keys SSH and HTTP/HTTPS protocols Reverse proxy with sub-path Add/Remove repository collaborators Web editor for repository files and wiki Migrate and mirror repository and its wiki Repository/Organization webhooks (including Slack and Discord) Repository issues pull requests, wiki, and protected branches Two-factor authentication Gravatar and Federated avatar with custom source Jupyter Notebook Administration panel Mail service Supports MySQL, PostgreSQL, SQLite3, MSSQL and TiDB (via MySQL protocol) Multi-language support (29 languages) Gogs Open Source Components Gogs components include: Web Framework: Macaron UI Components: Semantic UI GitHub Octicons Font Awesome Front-end Plugins: DropzoneJS marked clipboard.js highlight.js emojify.js jQuery MiniColors jQuery Date Time Picker notebook.js CodeMirror ORM: Xorm Database Drivers: github.com/go-sql-driver/mysql github.com/mattn/go-sqlite3 github.com/lib/pq github.com/denisenkom/go-mssqldb And all other Go package dependencies Install Gogs Git service on Ubuntu 20.04|18.04 Follow these steps to have Gogs installed on your Ubuntu server. Step 1: Install MariaDB Database Server Gogs requires a MySQL server to store data. We will install MariaDB server using the following commands: sudo apt update sudo apt install mariadb-server mariadb Once the database server has been installed, login to MariaDB console as root user $ mysql -u root -p Set global variables below SET GLOBAL innodb_file_per_table = ON; Then create gogs database DROP DATABASE IF EXISTS gogs; CREATE DATABASE IF NOT EXISTS gogs CHARACTER SET utf8mb4 COLLATE utf8mb4_general_ci; Create a dedicated database user to manage gogs database. $ mysql -u root -p GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES ON gogs.* TO 'gogs'@'localhost' IDENTIFIED BY "StrongPassword"; FLUSH PRIVILEGES; \q Step 2: Download Gogs from Github Check Gogs releases page https://github.com/gogs/gogs/releases for the latest release. sudo apt install wget curl vim -y curl -s https://api.github.com/repos/gogs/gogs/releases/latest | grep browser_download_url | grep '\linux_amd64.tar.gz' | cut -d '"' -f 4 | wget -i - Extract the downloaded file tar xvf gogs_*_linux_amd64.tar.gz Step 3: Configure Gogs self-hosted Git service Create git user to run gogs service $ sudo adduser git Adding user `git' ... Adding new group `git' (1001) ... Adding new user `git' (1001) with group `git' ... Creating home directory `/home/git' ... Copying files from `/etc/skel' ... Enter new UNIX password: Retype new UNIX password: passwd: password updated successfully Changing the user information for git Enter the new value, or press ENTER for the default Full Name []: Room Number []: Work Phone []: Home Phone []: Other []: Is the information correct? [Y/n] y Create logs directory sudo mkdir /var/log/gogs sudo chown -R git:git /var/log/gogs/ Copy gogs systemd service file to /etc/systemd/system directory sudo cp gogs/scripts/systemd/gogs.service /etc/systemd/system You can edit the file to set customize the settings:

sudo vim /etc/systemd/system/gogs.service If you have a different service using port,3000 you can set a custom port ExecStart=/home/git/gogs web -port 3001 Move the gogs directory content inside /home/git sudo mv gogs /home/git/ Change ownership of /home/git/to user.git sudo chown -R git:git /home/git/ Reload systemd and start gogs service sudo systemctl daemon-reload sudo systemctl start gogs Enable the service to start on boot sudo systemctl enable gogs You can check service status by running $ systemctl status gogs ● gogs.service - Gogs Loaded: loaded (/etc/systemd/system/gogs.service; enabled; vendor preset: enabled) Active: active (running) since Tue 2021-10-26 23:12:31 UTC; 13s ago Main PID: 3404 (gogs) Tasks: 8 (limit: 2343) Memory: 41.4M CGroup: /system.slice/gogs.service └─3404 /home/git/gogs/gogs web Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [TRACE] Log mode: Console (Trace) Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [ INFO] Gogs 0.12.3 Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [TRACE] Work directory: /home/git/gogs Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [TRACE] Custom path: /home/git/gogs/custom Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [TRACE] Custom config: /home/git/gogs/custom/conf/app.ini Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [TRACE] Log path: /home/git/gogs/log Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [TRACE] Build time: 2020-10-07 03:03:48 UTC Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [TRACE] Build commit: f0e3cd90f8d7695960eeef2e4e54b2e717302f6c Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [ INFO] Run mode: Development Oct 26 23:12:31 jmutai-ubuntu-01 gogs[3404]: 2021/10/26 23:12:31 [ INFO] Listen on http://0.0.0.0:3000 Typing command gogs on the terminal as git user should print help page. $ gogs/gogs NAME: Gogs - A painless self-hosted Git service USAGE: gogs [global options] command [command options] [arguments...] VERSION: 0.12.3 COMMANDS: web Start web server serv This command should only be called by SSH shell hook Delegate commands to corresponding Git hooks cert Generate self-signed certificate admin Perform admin operations on command line import Import portable data as local Gogs data backup Backup files and database restore Restore files and database from backup help, h Shows a list of commands or help for one command GLOBAL OPTIONS: --help, -h show help --version, -v print the version Step 4: Configure Gogs self-hosted Git service Open the URL http://serverip:3000/install to finish the installation of Gogs Set database authentication The username and password provided should match the ones provided in the Database configuration section. If the database server is on a different host, provide the IP address under the Host section. Set Application General Settings Provide application URL, this can be a routable server IP address or domain name that resolves to the IP. The same should be set for SSH. Disable User self-registration You can disable User self-registration under “Server and Other Services Settings”. This means the admin user will manually create user accounts. You can optionally create an admin user account. By default, root user will gain admin access automatically. When done with the configurations, click the “Install Gogs” button to finish the installation. On a successful installation, you should be logged into Gogs administration console. Create additional user accounts To add user accounts, Open Admin Panel at the top right panel You can then use “Create New Account” link to add a new user to Gogs. Step: 5 Test Gogs self-hosted Git service Create a new repository called test-repo

Try cloning the repo $ git clone http://192.168.18.40:3000/jmutai/test-repo.git Cloning into 'test-repo'... Username for 'http://192.168.18.40:3000': jmutai Password for 'http://[email protected]:3000': remote: Counting objects: 4, done. remote: Compressing objects: 100% (3/3), done. remote: Total 4 (delta 0), reused 0 (delta 0) Unpacking objects: 100% (4/4), done To avoid Password Authentication, add your SSH public key under “Your Profile > SSH keys > Add Key Provide key name, and paste your SSH public key into the content box. An ssh git clone should not ask for a password $ git clone [email protected]:jmutai/test-repo.git Cloning into 'test-repo'... Warning: Permanently added '192.168.18.40' (ECDSA) to the list of known hosts. remote: Counting objects: 4, done. remote: Compressing objects: 100% (3/3), done. remote: Total 4 (delta 0), reused 0 (delta 0) Receiving objects: 100% (4/4), done. Step 6: Configure Nginx Reverse Proxy If you would like to access Gogs using a domain name without a port, you need to configure Apache or NGINX reverse proxy sudo apt install nginx Create a VirtualHost reverse proxy configuration file sudo vim /etc/nginx/conf.d/gogs.conf Add: server listen 80; server_name git.example.com; location / proxy_pass http://localhost:3000; If using SSL and would like to have http to https redirect, use: server listen 80; server_name git.example.com; location / rewrite ^ https://git.example.com$request_uri? permanent; server listen 443 ssl; server_name git.example.com; ssl_certificate /etc/letsencrypt/live/git.example.com/fullchain.pem; ssl_certificate_key /etc/letsencrypt/live/git.example.com/privkey.pem; location / proxy_pass http://localhost:3000; Replace git.example.com with your actual domain name. For more reading on Gogs administration and usage, check out the Official Documentation.

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