#sneezing detectives

[justapersonwhitaname]

Kate Kane: Tim, now that you come out as bi, now I will be your gay mentor.

Tim: Sorry Kate... But I already have a fairy gayfather.

Kate:

Kate: You Little shi-

[mr-dark-1amao]

Some request I could draw of Sicktember from @onetrickponi, if you have one you can ask me on the box.

[sofieflee]

If I’m going to be sick and get all teary eyed, you best believe my favorite character is suffering with me

Projecting onto fictional characters is my favorite coping mechanism

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Shoutout to literally every single new person at my fire station for sneezing a bunch while we were doing shit outside lmao I think they all underestimated how much dirt and plant matter we inhale out there

[crafteeauthor]

EP 4 when the night nurse describes going to the afterlife as "like pulling off a bandaid, let's get this over with quickly" says SO much about her character.

Growing up we probably got told by an adult that a certain difficult thing was "like pulling off a bandaid, it's over before you know it". Personally I found this phrase kind of dumb because I usually just let bandaids slough off over time but I digress. The difference here isn't in the bandaid allegory, but in the dispassionate and efficiency-oriented way NN describes it.

To me she's very much coded like a social worker who values the Profession more than the Purpose, if that makes sense. She's probably been fending off disillusionment by getting incredibly regimented; she's good at her job and doing it well and being rewarded, that should be enough. Where most adults will tell a child (mind you a lot of these children are in their hundreds but she doesn't seem to care) that something quick but painful will be "over before you (the child) knows it", she simply wants it done quickly. It's the same sentiment, honestly, but with none of the empathy of someone who actually should be working with children. Idk the difference says volumes to me

[juxtaposedrose]

grabbing someone by the collar of their button-up and yanking them close while they sneeze

[pixelatedraindrops]

My RainCode fic, Under The Weather is officially on my AO3! I made a quick little scribble to promote it a bit further too :3

Poor Yuma can never catch a break with me... ;w;

I altered and added to it so its 2k words longer than what I had in the OG post so...hope you enjoy the little additions I made to it!

This is also my tamest silliest fic as well as it being the only one that has NO SPOILERS. So anyone can give it a read!

Hope you enjoy! ^-^

[yakool-foolio]

Vivia sneeze

I know he canonically sneezes in his first gumshoe gab (new phrase created), but I will not be swayed from the fact that this man has a certified cat sneeze. Little head shake and all! And when he's in the fireplace, all that leaves is a puff of soot. I like to imagine that after staying in the fireplace for so long, he has lil dark gray splotches of soot around his face from all the dust he's kicked up in there and let settle on him. Somebody's gotta give him a bath afterwards. Fortunately, unlike a lotta cats, he actually doesn't mind getting wet.

I also think Vivia is prone to quietly sneezing in rapid succession, one after another that can be up to five or so times. And if Yakou's around, he'll say 'bless you' after every single one instead of waiting for the chain to end.

Meanwhile, Yakou's infamous shotgun sneeze could wake the dead.

[hemlockghost]

they should’ve had Saul Goodman defend Dr House in season 3

[luludeluluramblings]

Neglected!Pregnant!Reader x Yandere!Bat Family Part Four

Part One ☁️ Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️ Part Five

Warnings: Pregnancy, Yandere themes, Fem!Reader, and one more that I will not say just be prepared at the end.

You knew Bruce would find out eventually. As much as you liked to pretend he wouldn't you knew. It was only a matter of time until he had noticed what was going on under his roof. You also knew he'd have a bad reaction to it. You just hadn't realized how bad until the day came.

The attic of Wayne manor became your new domain. Surprisingly, it wasn't as dark and gloomy as the rest of the manor.

The light from the dormers filled the space with warm light that was rare to see in a place like Gotham. The old vintage things stored about made it feel like a timeless, but lived in space. No faces of strangers from portraits or the one's you'd pass in the halls in sight. Boxes of photo's and some historical relics were all over the sprawling space.

It truly felt like lives had been lived from the items you found and not just names you where somehow related too.

You primarily came up here search for things for your future nursery. There was a town home in the more stable side of Gotham that you had been eyeing. A charming little place that could use some time, love, and care. But, it had two bedrooms and you could buy it with cash.

Sure, you had wanted to get out of Gotham. Run off back to the childhood home you'd been left to inherit. But, traveling by plane with your constant nausea seemed daunting.

It was probably the worry eating at you. The new parent jitters. Traveling with a baby right after birth? Sounds difficult. Traveling with a toddler? Even worse.

You had to fight the overwhelming feeling of becoming a parent often. To stubborn to give in or give up. Now, your battle with your hormones? That fight was easily lost. Tears were annoying, but you didn't care how much you cried as long as you got what you wanted. Which was your baby boy in your arms and some peace for the both of you.

You had wanted to get out of Gotham. Go back where there was grass and less insanity. But, you mostly wanted stability and a familiar space. Even if you had to make it on your own for a bit.

Though, what you wanted most at the current moment was to stop sneezing. The dust that caught the light from the window and gave the attic an enchanting look was also agitating your nostrils like hell. It was already sensitive as is from pregnancy. However, now each time you sneezed you felt as if your were going to piss your self.

"A-choo! Urgh, so much damn dust…" You grumble to your self as you dig though the delicate vintage model airplanes. You'll have to get Jason you haul this stuff down to your room until you can hire some movers. You plan on holding the cake and the cornbread over his head for a good long while.

As the old saying goes, when you sneeze it usually means someone's thinking about you. Though that thought didn't cross your mind as you kept having to cross your legs and pray every time your nose itched.

Down below in the cave system beneath the manor, someone was listening into on you. Or trying to. He had to be still pretend to be interested in what Tim was showing him.

"We implemented a new system in the BatComputer that Tim programmed. It allows us to detect alien DNA with the sensor range. Including Kryptonian." Bruce was explaining to Clark while Tim tapped away at the keyboard. Less interested in showing off his creation and more suspicious of while Conner was acting so distracted, for lack of a better word.

"So, you're saying we could use this to see if there are other Kryptonians out in space?" Jon asked curiously, looking at the screen with mild interest from where he's lounging next to Damian.

"Possibly one day. But, this is mostly so we can have a better understanding on how much of Earth’s population is actually human." Comes Bruce's pragmatic answer as he stand stoic still, though with a the ever slightest twitch of his lips.

"Another one of your contingency plans incase we’re all slowly replaced with lizard people?" Clark's joking causing a few chuckles that echo mildly in the cave.

"It always tickles me that you guys watch alien sci-fi movies." Dick commented from where he stood, looking like Bruce's second in command, but with better humor and a better smile. Causing another round of chuckles to echo. Though Conner wouldn't include himself in that. Too busy listening to you sneeze from the attic and detecting another noise in the general vicinity. Something that he has to fight narrowing his eyes at while he tires to figure it out.

"I’m assuming you want to run a test with it." With an unsurprised look and years of working the man, Clark turns partially towards Bruce with an almost knowing smirk on his face. By now understanding this was the man's way of showing off his children's accomplishments.

"Being that we’re the only aliens you regularly tolerate." Jon tacks on for good measure

"Tolerate is a strong word." Damian responds with impressive deadpan, not even a twitch of muscle in his face. Though, judging by the mirthful look in his eyes, he only halfway meant it. Tim himself smirked at Damian's comment before turning all his focus on to the BatComputer and running the Biological Program he'd spent months developing.

"We might also have a bet going on how many aliens are in— What the hell?"

"What?"

"There’s four signatures in the manor."

"What do you mean there’s four signatures. We’re testing for Kryptonians."

"Yeah," Tim says sarcastically while he's already moving to locate the extra trace of life. "I'm still counting four. It says right here that there’s four Kryptonians!'

"Pull up the cameras. Now." BY the time the order has left Bruce's mouth all of the manor's live security footage is being pulled up on screen for him to scan with his own eyes.

Nothing seems out of the ordinary. No unusual shadows. No misplaced of moving objects. He see's you in the attic, which feels him with fear. Your alone up there and so far away with an unknown anomaly in his home. A home you were suppose to be safe in. "Where’s the signature coming from?"

"… The attic…" Tim says seeing you sneeze on the screen, complete oblivious to the danger and fear everyone was experiencing.

Conner didn’t hesitate. With an unknown signature in the manor your safety was his priority. He didn't even care is Clark or Jon where faster. At that moment, he was just the first to move and the first to react.

No one in the family objected to it either.

Rushing towards the attic with his ears peeled for where the extra signature could have come from, you're in his arms before you could blink. One of the vintage plane models still in your hand as you were rushed form the dust and gentle sunlight of the attic to the cold dark cave below. A shiver running down your spine and as the change in temperature caused your skin to prickle. Already you felt a wave of vertigo hit from the sudden rush of moment.

Causing you to drop the little vintage plan and press a hand against the muscled chest holding you while you took gasping breathes. It was nothing serious, but the sudden shift in altitude and climate had your ears ringing and you eyes struggling to adjust to the shadows and artificial light.

You could feel another, much softer hand touching you in comparison to the strong figure holding you, a slightly soothing noise being made as voices echoed in the room. Or at least you thought is was a room until you realized it was the Bat Cave.

It was very very rare you came down here. You could count on one hand with missing fingers how often you’d been down here.

You’re eyes taking a moment to adjust to the shadows and artificial light as you make out nearly everyone looking at the Bat Computer monitor. Including Bruce's guest.

It's Stephanie that's touching you, her hand just barely having been becoming familiar to you over the past few weeks.

“Thank god, there’s an intruder in the manor. We’re trying to figure out where or who or, hell, even what it is.” She explains, which was nice. You deserved an explanation.

But, more importantly, you glance up to see who was holding you in their arms. Noting with mild surprise that it was Conner. You can’t help giving him a bit of wiry smile. The sudden rush of speed and the strength you could feel made sense. “You can put me down, you know. I ain’t gonna break.”

“No can do. Not after you just gave me a heart attack.” He gives you a shaky smile, completely forgetting the fact that he didn't include any one else in that statement. Just him. You were still to dizzy to catch the specific word yourself as you can faintly hear the discussion of the unknown intruder.

“I can hear an extra heartbeat, but where did the signature go. It vanished as soon as Conner grabbed—“

“The hell is going on?" You can't help asking. Having not been informed of any test as you tried to climb out of Conner's arms. He, however, seemed to have his arms locked tight and they may as well have been steel bars holding you in the air.

You turn towards Clark just as he looks at you with furrowed brows that being to rise almost as fast as he can fly. With a few context clues you piece together what he realized and gave him a narrow look daring to speak.

"Uh… I know where that extra heartbeat is coming from, Bruce. It's doesn't explain the signature. Why would of be Kryptonian…" And, then his eyes go wide as he trails off. It's almost comical to see Superman of all people and creatures with eyes growing to the size of dinner plates as realization hits him. But, you yourself are confused. Surely you being pregnant wasn't that big a deal?

You glance around the room from where your held in Conner's arms. Looking at Stephanie first before the others that knew and the rest that were starting to realize.

An extra heartbeat would make sense. The little bugger that's been fluttering in your abdomen for the past few days with his powerful little kicks would be the reason for that. But, why would--

It's not until you feel yourself being squeezed and everyone turns to look at who is holding you that the slow, slightly rusted gears in your head shift. And, your head moves so fast to look up at the awestruck Conner still holding your ass midair like a crashing airplane carrying precious cargo that you feel another wave of dizziness hit.

"So, it was you! You're the motherfuck--"

"We need to get rid of it." Bruce's voice made you words die in your throat with a choke. All complaints gone as you felt something rush down your spine.

This time it wasn't a chill.

This time it wasn't fear. It's was a good thing Conner was built tough, because the hand you had resting on his chest clawed up as you felt violence bubble in your gut next to your son's gentle fluttering. Faintly you can hear it stutter under neither your palm, but you're not questioning it. You're not even questioning the way his arms seems to curl even more around you are the air leaves your lungs for a different reason this time.

This time you slowly turned towards the man who fucked your mother once and face him with a look that promised you'd tear him apart with your teeth. Even if it killed you.

Taglist Below:

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A/N: Yeah, sorry to end it on the cliff hanger and unexpectedly like that. I just wanted to convey the anger and the outrage Bruce's reaction caused reader. I struggled with this chapter y'all. Struggled. I rewrote it entirely and changed major plot points, but this has all been flying by the seat of my pants. When I do the AU BatBoys x Pregnant!Reader that will have a lot more planning.

A/N: I made a ko-fi. But, feel free to ignore that. I just wanted Diet Coke. My true vice.

A/N: Don't know when Part Five will come out, but that will be Conner feels and the family's reaction to Reader moving out. I have that roughly drafted.

[saixria]

Ok this post by @firinnie is too funny for me to NOT draw it (how do you keep coming up with bangers?!) Imagine Odysseus was able to always detect when Athena was watching bc he’d start sneezing

[sabrinajenre96]

Title: A Day with the Bradfords

Pairing: Tim Bradford x Detective!Reader (Y/N) Word Count: ~5,000

Warning: none

---

7:04 AM – Bradford Residence

You were halfway into your vest, hair still damp from a rushed shower, when the phone buzzed again on the kitchen counter.

“Y/N,” Tim grumbled from the hallway, “Your phone’s losing its mind.”

“It’s a double homicide,” you said, already moving toward the door. “Nyla’s already en route. They want me on scene with Shay.”

At the sound of his name, the sleek Belgian Malinois padded into the kitchen, alert and ready. Unlike the bulldog mix currently snoring on the couch—Kojo, the mistake Lucy Chen had learned from and Tim had inherited.

“Have I mentioned I hate when you get called in before coffee?” Tim muttered.

You smirked and kissed him. “You’ll live. You’ve got Lilah and Kojo all day.”

Tim groaned. “That’s not comforting.”

From down the hall came the unmistakable sound of your five-year-old daughter stomping in her light-up unicorn slippers and singing off-key about pancakes.

Lilah appeared, clutching a tiara in one hand and dragging a feather boa behind her.

“Morning, Daddy! Kojo and I are going on a super-secret mission after breakfast. He said he’s ready.”

Kojo sneezed. Lilah interpreted that as agreement.

“I love you both. Be strong,” you said dramatically, ruffling Tim’s hair.

By the time the door closed behind you, Tim stared at Lilah and Kojo like a man entering a warzone with no backup.

“Alright, Lilah,” he said, “Let’s make pancakes.”

“Great!” she shouted, clambering onto a chair and grabbing flour. “I’m in charge. Kojo’s our chef. He made eggs last week.”

Tim narrowed his eyes at the dog. “We’ll discuss that later.”

---

8:42 AM – Kitchen, Mostly Flour-Coated

Kojo had white paws now. Not from age, but from the bag of flour Lilah had knocked over during an overly enthusiastic whisking session. The bulldog mix didn’t seem to mind; he licked at the floor and trailed a line of white paw prints across the tile.

“Daddy, the pancakes look like clouds!” Lilah beamed.

“Because you dumped half the box of baking powder in,” he muttered, flipping a lumpy disc of batter.

Kojo barked once.

“No, you don’t get any unless you sit. That goes for you too, Kojo.”

Kojo wagged his tail, did a spin, and promptly leapt onto the bench at the table.

---

10:15 AM – Neighborhood Walk (A.K.A. Disaster Recon)

Lilah insisted on wearing a tutu, fairy wings, and sunglasses. Kojo wore his vest labeled "Security," a gift from Angela that Tim regretted every time Lilah took it literally.

They made it three blocks before the mud puddle incident. Lilah squealed. Kojo launched himself into it.

Tim stood frozen, holding two leashes and questioning every decision he’d made in life.

---

11:30 AM – Bath Time (Again)

He bathed Kojo. Then Lilah. Then himself after Kojo shook off all over him.

He texted Lucy a picture of Kojo in a towel with the caption: "Still think he was better off with you?"

Lucy responded: *"You’re the one who said 'dogs build character.' Enjoy your development."

---

1:03 PM – Living Room Obstacle Course

Lilah had dragged every pillow, blanket, and hula hoop into the living room.

“Kojo needs training! He can’t be in security if he can’t jump over things!”

Kojo was napping.

“Wake him up, Daddy! He has drills!”

“You wake him up. I value my limbs.”

---

3:14 PM – Detective Lilah’s Mystery Mission

Tim was in toy handcuffs. Again.

“You’re under arrest for hiding the last cookie,” she declared. “Kojo saw you do it.”

Kojo woofed.

“Traitor,” Tim muttered.

---

5:45 PM – Dinner & a Truce

Mac and cheese. Apples. A juice box and one tired bulldog.

Lilah was quieter now, cuddled beside Tim with her stuffed unicorn.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, peanut?”

“I love you more than pancakes. Even fluffy ones.”

“I love you too, kiddo.”

---

9:00 PM – Bradford Residence, Peace At Last

You pushed the front door open, kicking off your boots. Shay trotted in beside you, already sniffing out Kojo’s messes.

The house was quiet.

You found them in the living room.

Tim was half-sitting, half-reclining on the couch, TV volume low, a football game playing. Lilah was asleep on his chest, Kojo curled up at their feet.

You smiled, heart full, and snapped a picture with your phone.

“You survived,” you whispered, kissing his cheek.

Tim gave a tired, contented grin. “She broke me. But yeah.”

You sat beside them, one hand on his knee, the other brushing your daughter’s wild curls.

Chaos and all—this was home.

[melshifting]

'LAST ONE STANDING' ― ULTIMATE SURVIVAL SCRIPTING PACK .☘︎ ݁˖

❝My mind works faster than the threat.❞

(Anon request! hope u like it :3)

.ᐟ . #01 !   Your sense of taste can detect spoiled food and contaminated water immediately, no testing needed.

.ᐟ  . #02 !  Your body naturally stores nutrients better, meaning you can go longer without food while staying sharp and as alert as ever.

.ᐟ  . #03 !  You can tell what time it is just by looking at the sky—down to the minute; your internal clock is so precise you can estimate the time with absurd accuracy.

.ᐟ  . #04 !  Your scent naturally blends into the environment, making you harder to detect by animals or enemies.

.ᐟ  . #05 !  You can memorize entire routes after walking them just once—even years later, you could navigate it blindfolded.

.ᐟ  . #06 !  You always find the safest sleeping spot in any environment without thinking about it.

.ᐟ  . #07 !  You always find the best hiding spots, the ones others would never think of.

.ᐟ  . #08 !  A broken machine, an abandoned car, a pile of trash; where others see junk, you see supplies—you can intuitively dismantle and repurpose anything into something useful.

.ᐟ  . #09 !  Your wounds never get infected, even when untreated. A cut, a bite, a scratch—other people might worry. You don’t.

.ᐟ  . #10 !  You always spot movement in your peripheral vision, no matter how small—you don’t need to look directly at something to see it.

.ᐟ  . #11 !  You can sharpen anything into a deadly weapon; glass shards, rusty metal, even a piece of wood.

.ᐟ  . #12 !  Extreme temperatures barely bother you—you don’t sunburn, overheat, or suffer from cold exposure easily.

.ᐟ  . #13 !  You never leave a building empty-handed—you always find useful supplies hidden in the most unexpected places.

.ᐟ  . #14 !  Your body doesn’t betray you—you don’t sneeze, cough, or make involuntary noises at the worst moments.

.ᐟ  . #15 !  Smoke, rotting flesh, gunpowder—your nose picks up the smallest hints of what’s coming before anyone else notices.

.ᐟ  . #16 !  You can endure long periods of isolation without losing your mind or touch with reality.

[my-anndreamer]

Transformers Earthspark headcanon

As you know, Optimus Prime has something like an "allergy" to the smell of pine.

Let's call it a cyber-allergy. The Cybertronian has olfactory systems that help detect toxic substances or the smell of cyber rust, which has a pronounced metallic smell (their "smell" is 1000 times stronger than a human's), when smelling the allergy-irritant, it causes sneezing and uncontrolled release of exhaust gases and smoke from the exhaust pipes.

Cyber-allergy can be inherited from one of the creators, but everyone has a different irritant.

Optimus's irritant is the smell of pine, from the smell of pine, dark smoke comes out of the pipes on his shoulders, when sneezing, a loud "hong" is heard.

Bumblebee is a lemon, from this smell, Bee starts sneezing constantly, and smoke also comes from the exhaust pipes on his back, which also causes sneezing, because it is very close to the face, and he also "beep" when sneezing.

The smell of the irritant Bluesun is the smell of cherries, and she has everything the same as Bee, even the position of the exhaust pipes is the same and the sneezes.

[fettiowi]

i love the whole little "sonic can detect danger by sneezing" factoid its so fun and i love the way it appears in the sonic cd opening, where he does it so fast you can barely even notice it if you arent going through it frame by frame. Seems very sonic like to sneeze so fast you cant even tell

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

Do you have any EAPS Eclipse headcanons?

I do!

I do HC him as a sociopath

he gets his OCD tendencies (keeping things cleaned, organizing) from Sun

he fidgets, however not as a tic or stim; more or less to show he's concentrating. He'll bounce his leg, tap his fingers or twirl writing utensils

he listens to Yaelokre with Earth sometimes, privately

he still holds some fear of Moon but obviously masks it with anger; however his time with Moonlight (EAPS Moon) has been rather...therapeutic, in a sense

he gets cold easily, like Moon does; but he'll tough it out

he doesn't like when people touch his rays; the only exception is Earth, and even with her it's sparse

he has dad sneezes; Jake finds it funny, Andy gets spooked by them sometimes

he's ticklish on his back, he'll jump if he gets poked in the right places; not that he'd let anyone find out or touch him there. Earth found out by accident and put the pieces together herself but doesn't comment on it for his sake

Eclipse eventually told Earth about his nightmares and panic attacks during one of their hangouts and she gave him advice on how to calm himself; breathing exercises, grounding himself, etc.

he'll listen to heavy metal and rock in his spare time while working

he needs total silence to sleep; this way he can detect sounds in case someone sneaks up on him

he has a friendship bracelet from Earth. He doesn't wear it, but he keeps it somewhere safe

he does not like being kept in a single space for too long or else he starts to get antsy and irritated (reminds him of being trapped in the headspace)