#so asserting anything confidently about the thing-in-itself immediately becomes absurd

[sparvverius]

i'm intentionally out of the loop for any and all frevblr beef but it seems just a little bit silly to me to say that there's a "fanon" version of these historical figures and that people should like the REAL version instead. cause like. unfortunately the real version has passed on from this life.... so has every person that knew them....... we think and talk of these people in a speculative and interpretive way not out of preference but because that is the only way that anyone can have any access to them at all anymore! however if you ARE communing with the real saint-just PLEASE let me know

[wisdomrays]

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Why is Atheism So Widespread?

Atheism means denying God's existence, which of course involves rejecting His commandments, as well as religious reflection and seriousness, and believing in the possibility of total self-independence apart from God. As such beliefs negate the concept of sin, people imagine that they can live as they please. Therein lies in the corruption of people's hearts and minds. Atheism spreads because education is misused, young people are neglected, and schools actually defend and foster it.

Ignorance about the essentials of faith and religion is the primary reason why atheism starts to grow and develop. People whose minds, hearts, and souls have not been directed to the truth inevitably become vulnerable. Only God's help and grace can save them. If a community does not confront this trend decisively and successfully, its members' hearts and minds become open to other influences that lead to deviation.

Atheism first manifests itself as a lack of interest in the principles of faith. People with this attitude often claim that it is positive, for it represents a desire for the mind's independence and freedom of thought. As the demands of faith are strenuous, indifference turns toward what is easier. It seeks any pretext to excuse it from honest and serious reflection, and so falls easily into neglect, then heedlessness, atheism, and even contempt for religion.

In fact, atheism is neither grounded on sound reasoning nor supported by human intuition or experience. Still less is it based upon "scientific" truth. It is no more than a mood, typically lazy but sometimes active and militant, of not caring and of rebellion.

The countless manifestations of God within and outside ourselves testify that there is only One Creator and Governor who administers, directs, and sustains this universe. We may think of each manifestation as a letter or book from God to us, reflecting His Divine Attributes in a way that we can understand. These Attributes can be traced everywhere in creation, which is no more than a vast area for testing and teaching humanity. However, some people with incorrect concepts have erred greatly in their understanding and observation of these signs. As a result, they have presented nature, as well as it principles and relationships, it such a way that many people (especially the young) have abandoned true faith.

Much has been said and written about the natural world's delicate balance and innumerable subtle harmonies. Such an order can be attributed only to the All-Mighty. Planets and stars move within an interrelated complexity of drifts and orbits that are infinitely more precise than anything we could ever design or make. If what we make is accepted as evidence of intelligent design, why is the far more vast and complicated universe considered an exception to this rule?

Nature resembles a huge factory of enormous (actual and potential) generative power. Its working principles are astonishingly subtle and supple, yet firmly established in reassuring patterns and rhythms. From where does nature get these operating rules? Some say that nature is self-created, but how can that persuade anybody? Of course one of the operating rules is a measure of self-organizing power. But we want to know the origin of this rule.

Principles are non-essential attributes of a thing or being and, as such, are secondary and dependent on substance and essence. Attributes cannot exist before or independently of the compound or organism of which they are attributes. Thus, if a plant demonstrates a measure of self-organizing power by seeking light, moisture, and nutrients for its growth, it means that a measure of self-organizing power has been embedded in its seed. Similarly, the principle of attraction in physics operates in and through existent masses, distances, and forces. To claim that such principles are the origin or source of existent things or beings is untenable.

Just as untenable is the confidence with which such claims are asserted. To claim that this extraordinarily subtle and ordered universe is the outcome of haphazard coincidences is absurd, contradictory, and quite unscientific, for all the evidence points to the exact opposite.

As the result of long experiments and reflection, Muller declared that reason could not explain the origin of life. He established, on the behalf of science and scientists, the absurdity of "coincidence" as a possible explanation. Similarly, after a 22-year series of studies, the Soviet Institute of Chemistry, under the chairmanship of Oparin, proved that the laws of chemistry and chemical reactions shed no light on the origin of life, and that science still has no answer to this question.

When these scientists acknowledged the limitations to human inquiry, they did so on behalf of all science and scientists. Yet such work has not undone the damage done by earlier, less careful scientists, who offered only guesses as reliable scientific theory. Unfortunately, general attitudes and values continue to be shaped by such guesses and not by the realities established by better scientists.

For example, many textbooks and encyclopedias continue to present humanity's evolution from apes to human beings as fact instead of theory. In reality, a growing number of scientists, most particularly evolutionists, argue that Darwin's theory of evolution is not a truly scientific theory at all. Many critics of the highest intellectual caliber admit that we still have no idea of how this "evolution" took place. While there is a great deal of divergent opinion among the experts about probable causes and the actual process, the general public and less-informed scientists continue to believe in it.

Various research projects and published studies cast doubt on evolution and seek to give a truer picture of nature as creation and our place in it. Works like Why Do We Believe in God? help those who considered non-believers in evolution as rather odd people reconsider their opinion and reflect more wisely on the matter.

Given the fact that a sound, reliable understanding of the natural world leads to belief in a single, universal Creator, atheism has more to do with obstinacy, prejudice, and a refusal to give up illusions than with the mind's independence or freedom of thought. Young people remain vulnerable, for their understanding of their behavior's nature and consequences is incomplete, their awareness of their spiritual being and their resulting deep-seated spiritual needs is limited, and their grasp of the balance between material and non-material values that characterizes a total human existence is deficient. Thus they are easily deceived by outdated concepts presented as "scientific" truths, although scientists know (and have said) that they are no more than theories. This is why teaching and learning about the truth are more important today than other duties and obligations.

If this vital task is not taken up, we may be unable to rectify the worsening situation in the future. Some of those evil consequences are with us already. This may be the major reason for our suffering over the years. We are the unlucky generation that was deprived of good teachers—teachers who had attained inward unity and harmony of mind and heart, truly knew themselves in their deepest thoughts and feelings, desired to teach others, and were willing to suffer to promote others' happiness and welfare. We hope such noble-minded teachers will arise among us and undertake this truly humane mission to rescue people from them current moral and spiritual suffering.

If this can be done, present and future generations will acquire the necessary stability in their thinking and reasoning about life's great questions. They will be able to resist the lure of false beliefs and illusions, and thereby be saved from the anxiety of constantly doubting the nature and purpose of their lives. They will be immunized, at least partially, against atheism and its attendant self-centered and neurotic behaviors. Atheism is caused by a lack of knowledge and learning, an inability to synthesize one's inner and outer life, and is the result of an undernourished heart and soul. People cling to what they know, and resist what they do not know—or at least try to remain uninterested and unconcerned.

The mass media continually presents ideas, lifestyles, and character types that encourage self-indulgence and self-abandonment. Thus it is no surprise that many young people try to become hippies or punks or whatever the latest craze is; seek immediate gratification and pleasure; and do not bother to cultivate their minds or their tastes, but prefer triviality and banality, loudness and vulgarity.

People quickly adopt ways considered exciting and attractive. What they do not know becomes even more strange and alien, and eventually a matter of total indifference. Thus we have to find effective ways to introduce young people to the deeper ways of religious life, ways that lead away from anxiety and toward tranquillity, away from darkness and toward light.

Young people are excitable and susceptible. They crave limitless freedom and have an abundance of unsatisfied appetites and desires. Their overly generous hearts and minds cause imbalance and disharmony, which can lead them toward atheism. They prefer immediate pleasure, however slight or brief, to the misery and distress that come in the wake of indulgence. They jump at the pleasures and enjoyments that Satan displays to them, and so prepare their own calamity. They fly to the fire of atheism just as moths are drawn to light.

While ignorance and unfed hearts and souls increase, materialism and carnality gradually subvert the desire for truth and annul any nobility of purpose. This is what happened with Faust. This man, who desired extraordinary powers to do whatever he wished for a limited period, sold his soul for a very cheap price to Mephistopheles, Satan's agent. But when he received these powers, his noble aims of serving humanity left him and he wasted his years of power by pursuing trivial pleasures.

When the soul is dead, the heart dies, compassion disappears, and the mind and reason become so bewildered and confused that people become helpless victims of their own passing whims or the worst fads. Anyone who becomes obsessed with carnal passion and sensuality will suffer crises and change direction continually, applaud every new fashion in thought as if it were the truth, and swing from one ideology to another—from confusion to doubt and back again. They will find no attraction in faith, in a steady sense of duty, or in a patient, enduring heart.

Nor will they find any merit in moral education, self-discipline, contemplation, the soul's improvement, or in strengthening their morals and manners. Wholly addicted to triviality and self-indulgence, they will deny any achievement to our ancestors and remain willfully ignorant of what real culture and civilization can make possible: a balance between spirituality and sanity, between virtue and happiness.

Not everyone can be saved. Therefore, we should direct our efforts toward educating those young people in whom the worst habits have not become firmly established. They must be taught the fundamental principles of the system on which we depend and to which our existence belongs. They must be led to a systematic, straight, and honest way of thinking. Those who fail in this effort will see their community or nation continue to sink into moral and spiritual corruption until it can no longer be rescued.

An additional cause of atheism is the deliberate rejection of all constraints and prohibitions. Such undesirable and unrestrained indulgence has entered Muslim societies from western Europe via a degenerate form of existentialism (mainly French) that rejected traditional values and formal religious education in favor of absolute individual freedom. The theory was that the individual would (and could) mature and develop into a noble, moral being through personal experience.

This theory, regardless of where it has been applied, has never produced sane, caring, and compassionate human beings. Rather, it has intensified misery and selfishness by isolating individuals from their families, traditions, and even from themselves. Its adherents do not cultivate their morals or tastes, but rather live shallow, private lives and make no effort to find the truth. In short, they simply survive from moment to moment in the illusory hope that they may yet find happiness.

These few reflections do not cover the whole subject. Yet I hope that future guides, teachers, and leaders with discernment and foresight will consider them when trying to stop the spread of deviation and atheism. I have presented a brief insight into the problem, with the prayer that some people may be alerted to the truth, conquer the self, and regain the means to do what is good.

[readingwebcomics]

Analyzing Questionable Content: Pages 101-150

While I’m all for body positivity Dora, that’s kind of public nudity. Most cities tend to frown on that. Although this IS your personal business you’re doing this in… I wonder what the law for that is? Like, do you have to pay for a permit to allow public nudity in a location you own? Or do city laws take precedent?

…I’m thinking about this too much, let’s move on.

Hey, it’s Raven again! Hi, Raven! And you thought I was kidding when I said the no-name character who showed up for all of one comic would come back as a regular character. This is part of the reason why I enjoy Jeph’s style – he can, and does, very easily take bit players he made for a single gag or to fulfill one role and flesh them out if he thinks they can serve a purpose or if they entertain him enough. The most famous example of this will be roughly 2900 comics from now so… holy shit, I just realized Bubbles is 1000 comics old! That’s crazy awesome!

Right. Sorry, some of you might not understand a word of what I just typed. Nevermind, moving right along.

Here we see the beginnings of Dora’s next character arc, if you’d like to call it that. I do have some questions about this as far as the in-universe time-scale goes, but I’ll touch on that later. Faye also invites Dora along to hang with her and Marten to indoctrinate her to the Hipster Lifestyle™ to serve two purposes: First, that their relationship as a boss and employee is relaxed enough that they’re comfortable doing this, telling us a lot about the way these two work together and the way this coffee shop is run without saying a lot. Second, this serves as the perfect in for Jeph to incorporate Dora into the main cast. From this point forward, Dora becomes a main secondary character, arguably a main character in her own right. The fact that she takes on a much more prominent role in this next batch of 50 comics and skyrockets to fourth-most frequent character is proof enough of that on its own, but we’ll touch on all that when we get to the data analysis at the end of this post.

Back with Marten, Steve is encouraging him to apologize to Faye. He offers a… novel solution to keep Marten from being the center of attention.

Seriously, the sheer, raw confidence on this guy alone is attractive as hell. And I’m only mildly ashamed to admit that to myself!

I hope you understand why I don’t need to explain why I should, nay, must provide this panel without any other context.

Same deal with this one.

And this comic puts me into hysterics every time I read it. I swear, this isn’t going to devolve into me just posting comics and saying “this is funny” or whatever. I just really, really like this progression of events right here. I wish we could see more of this Marten more often in modern QC – able to read a room quick enough to defuse the situation with absurdity or dry wit. It reminds us that, despite all evidence to the contrary, the boy does have a spine somewhere in that body.

And as immediate contrast, we jump here. This? This isn’t funny. This makes me not like Faye. This is actual abuse. And I know I talked about in the last post how including Faye retaliating against Marten physically and actually showing it happen in the comic rather than implying it with backfilling is the better method of storytelling but… Maybe it’s because she created a visible bruise, maybe it’s because of how candid she is about it, maybe it’s because of my own personal fucked-up past relationships (which admittedly never got physical but still), but this feels infinitely different than the Faye Jeph is trying to set up. He’ll have to do a damn good job in later comics to win me back to thinking Faye’s a likable character again.

Also Dora is definitely a woman of her word. I hope the coffee shop was empty right then. Actually, I hope it’s been a slow day from the point Faye started chasing her around with a dildo. Otherwise news might travel for all of the wrong reasons.

Faye tries to invite Dora over for festivities both as a friendly gesture because she expects her boss doesn’t get out much and because she wants to drag her from the dark abyss of Goth into the light of Hipster, only for her to turn the invitation down.

Not that it’s going to deter Faye, of course. Also, QC is in wide screen now. I have NO idea how that’s going to be represented on Tumblr considering how narrow my current theme at the time of writing is. Maybe I’ll change it, I dunno, I’m shit with this sort of thing. If you’re reading this and the page doesn’tlook like some faux notebook shit, I pulled myself together and fixed things. Go me.

Dora is being incredibly chill with this whole situation. Personally I’d be a hell of a lot more pissed. Although this does provide us with further insight to Faye’s character – someone who sees her next step, bulrushes her way towards it and has zero plans where to go after that until she arrives at her destination. She is aggressive and decisive, but to a fault as she doesn’t ever seem to really plan ahead. I’d say this makes her the perfect foil to Marten as someone who plans obsessively but never has the spine to go forward with anything but… Marten doesn’t really do much future-planning himself. He obsesses over little things and gets stuck in his own head, but he never really seems to look any further than maybe next week. Hm… I want all of us to keep this in mind for an offhand comment like, 500 or 600 comics from now. Trust me, it’ll make sense when we get to it.

And yet despite Faye’s self-assurance and aggressive nature, here she shows an outright refusal to accept or face the reality of the developing relationship between herself and Marten. Not just being coy, not just dancing around the issue, but straight-up not allowing herself to even consider what’s going down. Maybe I’m reading too much into this little exchange due to what I already know about her character, but this is an extremely unhealthy trait that speaks a lot to Faye’s character that she doesn’t want the world to see. We’ll be touching on this later.

I mostly like this comic for Marten and Pintsize’s reactions on the last panel. Marten makes a good straight man, and it’s not often we see Pintsize share that role either.

Faye you’re really not helping your case right now. Although it is interesting how hard Faye is showcases how into him Dora is, considering she has her own feelings for him and I highly doubt she’d be 100% cool with the two of them going off to make out.

So here we establish Anthro PCs relationships with humans – namely, they’re basically glorified pets. Pets that have human-level sapience. Don’t worry, Jeph comes to understand the unfortunate implications of this as well, and he goes on to change this in future comics. And by “change this” I mean “completely re-incorporate how AI works in this universe and establish QC as a near-future sci-fi setting.” But that’s not going to be for quite some time. For now, despite my poking fun at the horrific implications here, Jeph’s doing a good job taking the “funny robot sidekick” that’s supposed to be in every webcomic and creating proper lore behind it, making it feel like it belongs in this world rather than be used as a comic relief character and only a comic relief character.

Granted the Anthro PCs as a collective are going to be used as just comic relief right now but, y’know. Baby steps.

As said before, the fact that these guys are all fully sapient creatures makes the implications of this downright horrific. Also, that’s Ell. I have no idea if he ever comes back – I don’t remember him coming back at all – but I’m marking him down in the character statistics because he’s named.

This… actually has some interesting implications. Marten mentions needing Steve’s help with a date “the other day.” Does that mean he and Faye have known each other for an extremely short period of time? I highly doubt it, we’ve seen a number of times the time has moved from day to night, and the comic itself certainly implies at least a few weeks have passed. So unless by “the other day” Marten means “a month ago” then Marten has been dating women on the side while Faye’s been staying with him. That… seems extremely out of character for him considering the circumstances we’ve seen established in the comic thus far. Considering nothing else really comes from it and the fact if Marten was dating anyone on the side it would definitely be Dora, I’m going to go on the assumption Jeph simply made a mistake here and meant to say Marten was seeing someone a month or a few months back.

She’s cut off by Pintsize’s destructive laser that he’s using to assert himself as King among the Anthro PCs, don’t worry about it. What we should focus on instead is… well, this second panel here. On paper, this is really good. We’re getting some insight to Faye’s character here, the cracks in her mask are showing. We’re addressing the issue of her assaulting her friend and roommate, what she thinks about it, her current mindset and addressing that this is an actual problem. She’s openly apologizing, sincere in her conviction and clearly wants to fix things.

The problem with this is of course the fact that this is rushed as fuck.

Part of this, of course, has to be the fact that Jeph’s comic by nature is married to the structure of a four-panel comic. We have to set up Faye’s conversation, allow her to continue, but due to narrative convenience she needs to be cut off before she can finish what she’s saying. So the laser cuts her off and after the panel of action, we follow-up and end with the punchline of Pintsize having been made King among the Anthro PCs. And I get it – interrupt Faye before she can finish so you can keep the romantic ambiguity of “boys whom I…” Classic RomCom stuff. Problem is, this isn’t the time or place to do it. Keeping to the structure traps them into a situation where unfortunately Faye doesn’t have the breathing room to stretch this out and make it feel natural. This feels contrived from every angle and every sense of the word.

Easy way to fix this: Have this conversation take place while they’re walking home. Establish she feels bad, have her bounce off Marten and have this conversation naturally. Then either you can have Pintsize cut her off at the end there or maybe even she stops herself when she realizes she’s saying too much. There are ways to make this feel natural. This isn’t natural. Still, credit where it’s due, they’re at least touching on this topic here. Part of me wonders if Jeph had, like, a mental map of where he wanted Faye’s character to go but because he writes these page-by-page it ended up stumbling along and falling flat. A written outline of events can, and does, REALLY help in situations like this.

Then again I’m giving writing advice to a version of someone who existed fifteen years ago. I’m sure he’s got this all down himself nowadays, right?

Payoff to the previous comic.

Not only does this crack me up every time I read it, it also shows that Faye and Marten have gotten onto the same wavelength of humor. They’re also comfortable enough with each other that they can imply for a moment sexual favors before completely derailing the implication with the absurd. This is a far-cry from when Faye was trying to burn Marten with her mind back when Pintsize merely implied the two of them share a bed with each other.

Granted, it does kind of fly in the face of Faye’s reaction back at the LANPark. Still, good moment.

Speaking of Faye’s character…

Here we have Faye’s explanation for why she hides her southern accent. Makes sense.

And here, her explanation as to why she doesn’t use contractions… I’ve already said my piece on why I feel this makes zero sense, let’s move on.

And here we properly draw attention to Faye’s scar and establish the fact that her scar is a sore spot for her… was that a pun? It felt like a pun. Anyway, more and more it’s becoming clear that despite her outgoing nature, Faye has a LOT she keeps close to her chest.

Okay now I know that one was a pun, I’m sorry.

Point being, there’s a lot to Faye’s character we haven’t found out yet, plenty yet to explore in future comics. And I’d also like to point out, this? This is an extremely natural way to establish things about Faye, right here. This feels like something that would actually come up in a conversation rather than planted there for the sake of the audience, and I appreciate that. That said, this in conjunction with the last few moments makes this feel more like it’s time for Jeph to introduce and explain aspects of Faye’s character all at once, which deters a little bit from the natural feeling of this moment in particular. Or maybe I’m just being pedantic, I dunno. In a bubble, this comic works.

And here we get a flash of the personality we’ll see in Raven in the future. Just a spark though, the flame hasn’t risen up quite yet. Also a little detail about Dora that… again, doesn’t quite make sense given the timescale Jeph has established. I’ll touch on it later in this post when we find out exactly how old Dora is.

This… is an aspect of Marten’s personality that we never really touch on. Actually, this kind of goes toe-in-toe with his interest in Final Fantasy. Is Marten a fantasy buff? Does he enjoy escapist literature and media? Would he be super into Game of Thrones when it comes out as a series? These are questions that… unfortunately, don’t really get answered. I don’t know, I feel like these aspects of who Marten is ends up getting forgotten on the cutting room floor later on in the comic. Maybe they were only included as an off-handed joke, maybe Marten just developed as a character differently than what Jeph originally envisioned him as. Either way, these are parts of him that I think would be wonderful to bring back, especially with his current job and relationship in present-day coics.

Again, like a LOT of things I’m bringing up, we’ll get to that later.

In case you forgot that Faye is genuinely interested in Marten, a reminder and an assertion: She isn’t just interested in the skinny boy. She’s got it bad for him.

But, like a lot of things involving her personal life and feelings, she openly refutes them – not just to Dora but to herself.

Having gone out to give Dora a new look and indoctrinate her into the Cult of Hipster, Dora McPalerThanWhiteBread ends up sunburnt. Marten’s home, he has the lotion, we all know where this is going.

Heaven holds a place for those who pray… I wanted to follow this up with a clip of Sonic from Tails’ story in Sonic Adventure saying “hey hey hey” but surprisingly enough, that particular soundbite isn’t available anywhere. There are plenty of Let’s Plays that poke fun at it, but nothing with that line in particular.

Anyway, let’s talk about time frames. Dora said she got into the whole goth and coven stuff in High School and only now gotten bored of it. She’s 26. Let’s be EXTRA generous and assume she got into it in Senior Year, and she graduated at 18. That’s eight years this has been her life style, almost a third of her life. This wasn’t a phase, this was a genuine life style choice. Either Jeph got the timing wrong, or this is genuinely an identity crisis on Dora’s part because seriously, when something’s been a part of your life for so long I don’t blame you for not knowing where to go from there. I’m just surprised it took 8+ years for her to get sick of it. Then again, maybe that’s normal. I dunno, you can tell me if that’s a normal human thing. I’m literally autistic so I genuinely don’t know.

Setup… and also begging the question why you would give a libido to an AI, or how one would develop it naturally seeing as robots are incapable of sexual reproduction.

I haven’t really mentioned it until now, but Dora’s like aggressively bi. I can dig it. Guys and gals are both pretty in their own ways.

Ignore the lack of color for a second, Jeph wrote up this comic when he had like zero time and couldn’t color it in before he uploaded. Again, we have the HINT of something that Faye’s on the cusp of admitting that says more about her character only to be cut off once again. This feels a bit more natural than the situation at the LANPark. Still contrived by nature of Jeph introducing a conflict to purposefully cut her off, but an understandable narrative contrivance.

Also, remember when I mentioned the joke about the government level laser would come back as an actual plot point? Did you think I was joking? No, here we have Agent Turing (I can’t tell if that’s clever or if I should roll my eyes at this) here to take Pintsize in, dismantle him and take the dangerous laser back.

Faye takes it well.

Can you guess what consequences she suffers from assaulting a government agent? I’ll give you a hint – it’s about the same as the consequences she suffered from burning down an apartment.

Payoff.

And finally, we round off this batch of comics with Faye’s expert lying skills to fool Agent Turing…

Ah yes. The ever-deadly Space Owls. Not nearly as scary as Space Bears, though! They’re horrifying!

…not buying it? Yeah neither did my professors back in college.

As per usual, let’s compare a panel from the first and last comics in the batch to see how Jeph’s art style has improved.

It looks like he’s trying to get the proportions more… realistic? They’ve moved from “cartoons” to “cartoon versions of actual people” and it’s… eh, alright I guess? Personally I’m more of a fan of the more cartoon-ish style in the beginning of this batch, but beauty and eyes of beholders and all.

So overall, what did I think of this batch of comics? Personally, I think the humor is improving dramatically, this batch had the most comics that had me laughing aloud so far. And bringing Dora further into the limelight was a smart move on Jeph’s part – she’s just so likable, I want to see more of her. But as for the inter-personal conflicts… eh? It feels weaker than last batch. More is happening, progress is being made, but it feels… contrived. Artificial. It was the worst in the LANPark, but because that drew my eye I kept seeing every other piece of exposition as just that – exposition. Maybe I’m biased, I’ll fully admit that. I’ll also admit that the bit about Faye’s chest-scar was a well done piece of exposition without feeling like exposition.

I’ve said exposition way too much now, let’s move onto the stats (and for the record, Scarlet Manuka on the QC forums was kind enough to remind me that the name of Dora’s cat is Miéville, so while we haven’t been introduced to that name yet I’ll be using that in my stats from this point forward because it’s better than “Dora’s Cat”).

Faye: 47/50 – 94%

Marten: 41/50 – 82%

Dora: 31/50 – 62%

Pintsize: 18/50 – 36%

Turing: 3/50 – 6%

Steve: 2/50 – 4%

Raven: 2/50 – 4%

Ell: 1/50 – 2%

Grand Total:

Marten: 132/150 – 88%

Faye: 130/150 – 86.7%

Pintsize: 45/150 – 30%

Dora: 39/150 – 26%

Steve: 16/150 – 10.7%

Sara: 7/150 – 4.7%

Raven: 3/150 – 2%

Turing: 3/150 – 2%

Jim: 2/150 – 1.3%

Scott: 2/150 – 1.3%

Miéville: 1/150 – 0.7%

Ell: 1/150 – 0.7%

Faye is climbing up the ranks and getting closer to perfectly equal screentime with Marten across the whole series. Speaking of Faye, in this batch she pulled into first as the character in the most comics, the first time she’s been in more than Marten since the beginning. And Dora’s been in so many this last batch, she jumped up to fourth-most reoccurring character juuust behind Pintsize.

I’ll catch you next week for the epic conclusion to the Pintsize laser saga! And yet more insight on Faye’s past – hope you like ice cream! See you then.

[kitcatkandy]

the devil you know 5

Rating: Explicit (nothing much here)

Title: the devil you know

Chapter: 5: honesty is hardly ever heard, and mostly what i need from you

Relationship(s): Aomine Daiki/Kagami Taiga, Kise Ryouta/Kuroko Tetsuya

Summary:

“Kagami wants to tell him no, tell him to fuck off, because there is no way in hell he’s jumping back into bed with the man who broke his heart, but suddenly, he stops, and thinks. He feels Aomine’s hot breath against his neck, feels the undeniable attraction that exists between them, and suddenly he’s tired of holding back, of trying to stop himself and repress his sexual desires just so - just so what?”

Kagami hasn't seen Aomine for a long while, not since he walked in on Aomine cheating on him with a girl, and he has no desire to renew their acquaintance any time soon. But when he's forced into going for a reunion with the GoM by Akashi, sparks fly again, and he does something he very much regrets.

Notes: First published on AO3.

Find more works here

Index

<<- First <-Previous

*important note for readers who’ve been around since the start: i’ve changed quite a bit of chapter 4′s ending so please go back and read that!! thank you!!

It’s been two weeks since – and there’s been no word from Aomine. Kagami’s honestly surprised he’s managed to hold off that long. The Aomine he knew had simply hated being ignored, and Kagami finds it hard to believe that Aomine’s actually sticking to his promise, and waiting for Kagami to initiate contact first.

Or perhaps he’s forgotten all about you, a small voice says, bitterly. Perhaps, even now, he’s in bed, fucking one of his girls, and laughing at you. Laughing at how stupid you are for trusting him. He’ll never change, you know.

“I want to give him a chance,” Kagami says aloud, and a woman walking past him glances at him oddly.

I want to give him a chance, he says again, in his mind, but somehow, it doesn’t help. His phone burns a hole through his palm, and when he unlocks the screen, the first thing he sees is aomine.

“Fuck,” he curses furiously, and closes the contact page. This time, the man walking past him clucks his tongue disapprovingly and pulls his daughter closer to his side. Kagami ignores him and resumes his walk home, but all the way through, he’s thinking, I’m not ready.

In the end, it’s Kuroko who starts it.

Kagami’s taking a ravenous bite out of his burger when Kuroko mentions Aomine’s name, and Kagami automatically chokes. Kuroko pauses patiently while Kagami has a choking fit – some friend he is, not lifting a finger to help – then resumes his thread of conversation.

“Aomine-kun’s been acting strange,” he says, fiddling with his fries. Kagami looks up suspiciously at him through his bangs.

“What? I thought you stopped speaking to him. When did you become friends again?” he says.

“Oh, I did,” Kuroko murmurs. “Stop speaking to him, that is. It was he who approached me first. After the reunion, he gave me a call. He said he’d gotten my number from Momoi-san, and that he wanted to talk to me.”

“And you did?” Kagami can’t help the accusatory lilt to his voice, but come on, he’d thought Kuroko was on his side here!

“I didn’t, at first,” he replies serenely. “I hung up the first time he called, when I heard his voice. But he called the next day again, and I’d talked to Momoi-san by then. She’d asked me to listen to him, and so as a favour to her, I did. We met up, the three of us, and it was – well, it was very interesting.”

Kagami doesn’t respond, although he’s dying to hear about their meeting. Damn it, trust Kuroko to choose this time to daintily dip his fries in chili and munch on it as slow as humanely possible! Kagami holds out as long as he can, but when Kuroko shows no sign of continuing, he prompts him.

“Well?” he says roughly. “What did he say? Not - Not that I give a shit, of course,” he adds quickly, and buries his head back in his pile of burgers to hide the sudden flush on his cheeks.

Kuroko hums noncommittally. “He had a bruise on his cheek,” he says. “Almost like he’d been slapped. Did you do it, Kagami-kun?”

“What – no – “ Kagami splutters, and Kuroko nods confidently, like his suspicions have been confirmed. Although suspicions of what, Kagami completely fails to see. Without batting an eyelash, he continues. “He apologised to me, which I found very strange. Aomine-kun does not often apologise – ah, I’m sure you know that quite well anyway. He said I probably knew what happened between him and Kagami-kun, and that he wanted to apologise for hurting you, and that you and I were well within our rights to be angry with him.”

Bile rises in Kagami’s throat, but he forces it back down. “Yeah?” he mutters. “And what did you say?”

“I gave him a bruise on the other cheek,” Kuroko says solemnly, and an unwilling chuckle forces itself out of Kagami. He huffs a gusty sigh.

It’s good to have good friends, he thinks, good friends who have your back. Still, that thought doesn’t stop him from studiously ignoring Kuroko’s searching gaze, and focusing on demolishing his pile of burgers. Sometimes, he thinks, Kuroko sees far too much. Suddenly, Kagami wonders if Kuroko knows about what he’s agreed on, with Aomine. He wonders if Kuroko would approve. Kuroko has always been a voice of reason, a quiet balance to his own, rash personality, and although he doesn’t often admit it, he frequently relies on Kuroko’s advice to guide his way.

He still remembers the first fight he had had with Aomine, and how Kuroko had been the first one he’d gone to for help. It had been over something absolutely ridiculous, as usual. The two of them had burned bright – too bright, sometimes – bright enough that they rarely came away from their fights unscarred. They fought hard, and fucked hard, and sometimes the make-up sex had been enough to soothe their mutual egos.

But this time had been real. Harsh things had been said, things that had been meant to hurt, and oh, how he’d hurt. He wasn’t usually the soppy kind – but despite the fact that they’d only been dating for a month by that time, Aomine had already known where to push the knife in, and how to twist so that it hurt like a bitch.

Kagami had turned up at Kuroko’s doorstep, unannounced, and in fact, that was how he’d found out about his best friend’s relationship with Kise. As he’d banged on the door, Kise had tumbled out of the door stark naked. There had been an awkward moment of silence between them as Kise’s sharp eyes moved over Kagami, taking in his flushed face and red-rimmed eyes. Then, completely unembarrassed by his nudity, Kise had thrown his arms around Kagami and pulled him into Kuroko’s apartment.

“Get off me, Kise,” Kagami had said half-heartedly. Then as Kuroko came out from his room, and Kagami met his eyes, he found he suddenly had to sit down.

“Don’t cry, Kagamicchi,” Kise had said softly.

Kagami had taken the tissue proffered by Kuroko and blown his nose loudly; “I’b not crying,” he’d sniffed, and the words had come out indistinct.

Kuroko had just sighed, and put his arm around Kagami’s shoulder. The sight had surely been absurd - tiny, skinny Kuroko with his tiny, skinny arms around all one hundred ninety centimetres of Kagami. But the gesture had soothed him, somehow.

“We fought. About the goddamn dishes. Why can’t he just fucking – “ he had muttered, in answer to their unasked question. He remembers the sight of his knuckles turning white around the tissue he clutched in his hand, and Kuroko’s fingers curling gently over his.

“Are we wrong?” he had whispered. “God, sometimes he makes me so goddamn happy - and sometimes I feel absolutely fucking miserable. Is it worth it, Kuroko? Is he worth it?”

“Aomine-kun is an idiot,” Kuroko had said, assertively, and Kagami had choked back a sobbing laugh. Understatement of the year, that.

“What do I do, Kuroko?” he had asked, and it had been impossible to keep his voice from cracking. Kuroko had glanced at Kise, and something had passed unspoken between them. Kise had nodded, and with a comforting pat on Kagami’s shoulder and a barely-there kiss to the top of his head, he had left the room.

If possible, Kuroko’s voice had then become even quieter, and gentler. “Aomine-kun is an idiot,” he had repeated, “but he likes you very much. He’s different when he’s with you. You bring out the best in him.”

“If that’s his best – “ Kagami had said furiously.

“It is his best,” Kuroko had replied, and the calm confidence in his voice had subdued Kagami. “He is trying, Kagami-kun, and he’s making mistakes. It may not seem like much right now, and I do know how trying he can be - but please remember that he likes you very much, and that you mean a lot to him. I’m sure he’s waiting with an apology at your home right now, and regretting every cruel word he’s said.”

Kagami hadn’t said anything after that, but he’d blown his nose again, and thanked the gods that he had Kuroko.

(And of course there had been that terrible time when he’d run from Aomine – when he’d run from the memory of those dark burning eyes fixed on a body that was not Kagami’s - )

Point being, Kuroko had brought him through the upsides and the very, very, very downsides of Kagami’s life, ever since Seirin, and sometimes the thought of it filled Kagami with unassailable gratitude. But sometimes – like now – he doesn’t know what Kuroko is thinking, and it puts him on edge.

Kagami lifts his eyes cautiously. Kuroko is staring at him from across the table.

“Hmm,” he says, thoughtfully, and doesn’t breathe a word about Aomine for the rest of dinner. 

*

It’s another week before Kagami wonders if Aomine might actually be dead.

This time, he sighs, and picks up his phone before he loses his nerve.

aomine

hey kagami, is the immediate response. Kagami pauses with his fingers hovering over his phone – he hadn’t expected a reply so quickly, but now that it had come, it leaves him at a bit of a loss for words. Why had he texted Aomine in the first place? Somehow when he’d left Aomine behind on the bench in the park, he hadn’t expected Aomine to keep his promise, and he’d been fully prepared to cut Aomine out of his life, as he’d promised. This newfound restraint of Aomine’s had come completely out of left field, and to top it all off, Kagami had actually been the one to initiate contact.

He hesitates for a moment, then types in a reply.

do u want to meet for lunch

with kise and kuroko, he adds quickly. He’s going to need an ally – preferably two – neutral parties to mediate the conversation, or he might end up punching Aomine in the face. Or worse, ending up in bed with him – although he dearly hopes he has better self-control than that.

It is with great foreboding that the remembers that his track record with Aomine doesn’t exactly reassure him.

okay, when?

tomorrow 12 at tradizioni

alright, see you there, kagami

There’s a brief pause, then, almost hesitantly – goodnight.

Kagami tosses his phone on the bed and follows soon after. He expels a gusty sigh. Kagami ‘Bad Decisions’ Taiga, that was his middle name, he decided. And now he had a lunch to arrange with Kise and Kuroko.

kuroko, lunch tomorrow at tradizioni, 12pm. aomines going to be there and I need backup. you can bring kise.

Kuroko replies immediately. Got it, Kagami-kun. Kagami watches the three dots move up and down as Kuroko types his next message.

Kise-kun doesn’t know about what Aomine-kun did.

Tell him, Kagami types back, and it feels strange but somehow right. He’s never thought about it before, but for some reason, thinking about it now, he trusts Kise. True, they hadn’t exactly seen each other in a long, long time, but he and Kuroko have been together for about the same duration – longer, even – and that has to count for something. If Kuroko trusts Kise, Kagami feels he could do the same.

We will be there tomorrow. See you, Kagami-kun.

Kagami lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, and turns his head to bury his face in his pillow.

Tomorrow, he thinks. If only tomorrow would never come.

*

He turns up at Tradizioni ten minutes early, and Kuroko and Kise are already there, the model fussing with Kuroko’s collar while the latter stands there patiently.

“… Kise-kun, I don’t think Kagami-kun cares what my collar looks like. Oh, hello, Kagami-kun.” Kise pivots around, and the moment he sees Kagami, his eyes go wide.

“Kagamicchi!!!!!!!!!” he manages to whisper-yell, and suddenly Kagami finds his arms full of a very distraught Kise Ryouta.

“I’m sorry, Kagamicchi!!!!!” Kise howls, and looks dolefully up at Kagami through his very long eyelashes. On which are glistening minute teardrops that manage to make his eyes look even bigger and shinier. Goddammit, Kagami hates beautiful people.

“Sorry for what, Kise? And get off me,” Kagami grumbles, already feeling enough on edge with what’s coming. He doesn’t have to add one very irritating model into the mix. Why’d he let Kise come along again? Oh, right, because they’re friends, and he’s together with Kuroko; and for some utterly unfathomable reason, against all odds, Kagami does trust Kise to have his back.

“I didn’t know what happened between you and Aomine,” Kise says, and gives Kagami another hug. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Kagamicchi. Aomine was being an asshole, and he had no right to do that to you!”

A lump rises in Kagami’s throat, and he fights it off ferociously. “Thanks, Kise,” he mumbles under his breath. “Thanks for coming, you guys.”

“Don’t mention it, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko says quietly. “We’re here for you, no matter what happens.” Kise nods vigorously in agreement, then suddenly his eyes flash at something over Kagami’s shoulder, and he pulls Kuroko to his and Kagami’s side.

Kagami turns, and Aomine is slinking down the street, still with that confident, devil-may-care jaunt to his walk, although it’s much subdued today. He’s wearing a suit again, Kagami’s weakness, and the little triangle of dark skin between his collarbones peeking out above his tie makes Kagami’s fingers twitch.

But that’s not what he’s here for. Not what they’re both here for. No, they’re here to see if Aomine’s changed, if even a friendship is beyond them now.

“Kagami,” Aomine rumbles as he approaches. “Tetsu, Kise,” he acknowledges the other two, then turns back to Kagami. There is a flush across his cheeks, and Kagami thinks it’s not just from the cold.

“Nice bruises,” he jibes, because he can’t help himself, and surprisingly, the words are less acidic than he’d expected them to come out. Perhaps it’s because, somehow, the ugly greenish-brown bruising that patterns Aomine's cheeks humbles him, makes him look more vulnerable.

The flush on Aomine’s cheeks deepens, but he doesn’t attempt to hide his face, or snipe back at Kagami. He just opens the door to the restaurant, and waits for them to enter.

They sit down at a booth near the entrance, and Kise, the one who sits next to Aomine, leaves a conspicuous gap between them. It seems that Kagami is the only one who sees how the action makes the sides of Aomine’s mouth curve down unhappily. Just slightly, barely enough to notice - but Kagami does. He’s always made a habit of watching Aomine closely, after all, and it aches to know that it’s a habit he hasn’t broken yet.

There is silence for a while, as they look through the menu and pretend the air between them isn’t sizzling with tension. Kise is uncharacteristically quiet, stopping his perusal of the menu occasionally to dart a furious glare at Aomine, who’s doing a very good job of pretending he’s not noticing. Kuroko is serene, and unreadable as always, but Kagami draws strength just from knowing he’s near.

They order, and afterwards it’s stiff, with Kise now glaring outright at Aomine, and Kuroko looking out of the window with intense focus. One of Kagami’s hands is in his pocket, and he grips tight onto his phone, wondering if, after all, this was a terrible mistake – oh, Kagami, couldn’t you have kept your fucking mouth shut and your fingers to yourself and then maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation –

Aomine coughs, and looks hesitantly at Kagami. “So, Kagami,” he says, awkwardly, “you’re a fireman now, huh.”

“Yeah,” Kagami says shortly. “What about it?” If he asks about basketball -

“Nothing. Just never, uh, thought it was your thing. Saving cats stuck up trees for little old ladies, and all that,” Aomine says, and Kagami is ready to spit fire at him – cats stuck up trees, indeed – when he realises that Aomine is smiling, and it’s not a smirk, it’s shy and helpless and a little bit unsure, and Kagami realises he was making a joke.

“Oh. Well, I didn’t think I’d get into it, but Kuroko convinced me to give it a try – “ after my knee broke down and I didn’t have anywhere to go – “and somehow I liked it. It stuck. I enjoy saving cats from trees for little old ladies,” and the fact that he returns Aomine’s joke is a surprise to all four of them at the table, despite the fact that he delivers it sternly and without a hint of humour.

Another silence, then Kagami sighs. “And you?” he asks. “How’d you end up a rule-following officer of the law? Never thought you’d end up there.” If Aomine can stop himself asking about basketball, Kagami thinks, he can too.

“Tore my ACL,” Aomine says shortly, brutally honest as always. “Was playing against the Lakers. I got in a fight with two of the players, one of them pushed me into the stands, it was a hard fall. He got suspended for twenty-six games, and I lost basketball.” He hesitates then, looking at Kagami out of the sides of his eyes, and his nails click on the table restlessly.

“I… I was a mess when I came back to Japan,” he mutters. “Got involved in a fuckton of fights, street brawls, you name it.” His breath fogs up the glass of the window, and Kagami turns away, not wanting Aomine to see the clench of his jaw.  

Aomine leans back and shrugs, the movement deliberately casual. His jacket settles against the lines of his body. “Then my uncle set me straight. He was working in the Kyoto Prefectural Police and told me either I came to my senses, or he’d beat the shit out of me, for all that I was breaking my mother’s heart.”

Kagami can’t help an acerbic chuckle. “I like your uncle,” he snipes.

There’s a quick streak of white as Aomine grins, baring his canines, and his eyes flash burnished blue. Kagami feels heat drip down his spine, hot and molten, as they make eye contact, and suddenly it’s like they’re eighteen again – rash, and arrogant, and always fighting - thinking they had the world at their feet, when they hadn’t even yet had each other in their arms.

“I like him too,” he replies. “And I was good at the job. Bloody good, actually. Good enough to be transferred here to the TPD when I asked. I guess I kind of stuck with it from there.”

Kuroko speaks up for the first time. “And why did Aomine-kun ask to be transferred to the Tokyo police?”

A dull, ugly flush suffuses Aomine’s cheeks, and he looks away again. His fringe flops against his brows. Kagami hadn’t really noticed, but he’s cut his hair differently – closer-cropped against his skull, longer in the fringe, and shit, there’s a glimmer of a stud in his right helix. He digs his nails into his inner thigh and tells his libido to shut up.

“I had friends here,” Aomine says, and there’s a surly curl to his lips when he looks up. “Didn’t have friends in Kyoto.”

“What a surprise, with that charming personality of yours, Aomine,” Kise mutters. Kagami watches Aomine’s fist clench on the table where he’s laid his hand, but after a second, he lets out a sigh, and he relaxes his body. A sardonic smile lifts the side of his mouth, and he looks straight on at Kise, who’s defiantly making eye contact with him.

“I suppose I deserve that,” he says throatily, and he looks back at Kagami, again with that gleam in his eyes. “I – “

Kagami doesn’t find out what he was about to say, because the food comes then, and Aomine’s mouth snaps shut. He gawks at Kagami’s three plates of food, piled high with spaghetti, burgers and fries.

“Good to know you’re still a glutton, Kagami,” he says, awestruck. “Where the fuck does it all go?”

“Fuck you,” Kagami says, but it comes out without an edge, and Kagami thinks, okay, maybe he can do this. Maybe he can pretend they’re still eighteen, and there’s a basketball in his hand, and Aomine’s arm around his shoulder, and the sweet sweet fire of exertion running through his veins.

The next few words come out easier, and suddenly it’s a conversation. It seems like Aomine losing basketball has given him more things to talk about, rather than just the sport that has consumed the better part of his life. Kise even stops glaring as hard, although it’s probably because he’s watching Kuroko eat, and the fond, dopey expression on his face makes Kagami roll his eyes. Seriously, they’ve been dating for years – how long does it take for Kuroko eating a goddamn fry to get old?

They finish their food, and there’s a lapse in conversation. Kagami feels an itch growing under his skin. It had been nice, playing pretend, but now he just wants to leave. Wants to stop wanting to leap over the table and either rip Aomine’s shirt off, or rip him in half, because there’s hurt gnawing at him, under the veneer of their civility, hurt that reminds him what it had been like, his heart being torn to shreds. Aomine’s trying, he is, but just looking at his stupid face makes Kagami’s chest tighten.

The waitress comes to take their plates, and Kagami can’t resist. Can’t resist the question that’s been nipping at him the whole afternoon. Because he still remembers what Kise had said that night of the reunion, about Aomine being a player – and not in the basketball sense – and he doesn’t know if he wants to be disappointed, or if there’s a sliver of hope in the question – he just wants to know.

Aomine’s head whips upward after Kagami asks it, eyes wide with shock, as does Kise. Kuroko just continues placidly munching on his fries.

They stare at each other, the air between them fraught, and Kagami refuses to break eye contact first. Aomine’s the first to turn away.

“Yeah,” he says, to a wet spot on the table. “I don’t have anyone I’m seeing at the moment.” He sighs, and lifts his eyes to Kagami’s again. It seems to take him a great effort.

“I fucked around a lot the past few years you were gone, but, Kagami – “

“Oh, and that’s my fault?” Kagami laughs derisively, his temper rising. He can’t believe he feels disappointment, fuck, he should have known – Aomine hadn’t changed a bit, and he was still the same womanising son-of-a-bitch he’d always been – “Seriously, fuck you, Aomine. I’m leaving.”

Aomine stands up at the same time he does, his eyes burning with fury. He opens his mouth, and Kagami braces himself for the onslaught – Aomine always knew how to hurt him best, after all, and Kagami realises it’s because they’re the same, deep down, with the same arrogance and drive to win. But somewhere, fundamentally, they’re different. He’s not a lying, cheating bastard.

But then Aomine does something that surprises all of them. He grits his teeth – Kagami can see a vein pop in his temple – and instead of blowing up, he breathes out, and sits back down. Kise stops in the middle of reaching out to restrain him, and for a moment, all the three of them do is blink at Aomine in astonishment.

“I wasn’t blaming you, Kagami,” he says. “I want to be honest with you.” His eyes are blazing, almost feverish in their light. “I fucked around a lot, yes, but they were nothing compared to you.”

“Expecting me to fall over at your feet?” Kagami returns scornfully, aware of the high flush on his cheeks, and unsure whether it’s from anger, or something else. “That won’t work. Try your shitty one-liners on someone who’s more of an idiot than I am.”

“I just want to be honest with you,” Aomine says stubbornly. “I’m not expecting anything from you for it.”

“Fine, great, thanks, exactly what I wanted to hear. You broke my heart, and happily went off to shove your dick in whatever willing hole presented itself. Thanks for that, Aomine. You bastard. Seriously, fuck you. I hope you die in a fire.” Kagami grabs his wallet off the table as he’s talking, and storms out.

Kuroko and Kise catch up with him a few steps later, and Kagami doesn’t feel bad about Aomine having to pay the bill for all of them, not at all. He stops to nod shortly at the two.

“Thanks, guys,” he mutters. “Glad to know Aomine’s still a huge fucking asshole.”

“I guess he was trying to be honest,” Kise says, with a shrug. He’s watching Kagami with a look in his eyes that Kagami doesn’t quite like. Kagami snorts.

“Yeah, like he even knows the meaning of that word.”

“Aomine-kun is an idiot,” Kuroko sighs, and as far as Kagami is concerned, that’s the end of that old flame.

*

When he gets to the station the next day, there’s an email waiting in his inbox. It’s from Wakamatsu, and he sips at his coffee as he clicks it open. The arson investigator has sent over some files – details of some previous fires, all in the span of the last month, with the same modus operandi as the preschool fire.

Wanted to know what you think, Wakamatsu signs off with. We need to get your witness statement as well – is there a time convenient for you this week?

Kagami sighs. Well, it’s not the end of that old flame, apparently, since he’ll be seeing that bastard again for the witness interview. Someone up there’s really got it in for him, he thinks bitterly, as he opens the files and reads through them. The two fires detailed in the case files had occurred one and two weeks ago, at an office building and apartment complex respectively, and Wakatmasu’s right in pinpointing certain points which stand out as being in common with the preschool fire. The more Kagami reads, the more enraged he gets, at the thought of someone out there running amok and putting innocent lives at risk, for some unknown psychopathic reason of his own. He’s putting together a reply to Wakamatsu, when there’s a short tap on the desk next to him, and he startles.

“There’s someone at the front desk asking for you, Kagami-san,” says Makoto, one of the other firefights. Kagami sighs and passes a hand over his face briefly. He needs more coffee.

But when he reaches the front desk, the first thing he sees is a pair of big brown eyes, and then a small bitten-off gasp, and then there’s about twenty kilograms of pre-schooler in his arms.

“Kag’mi san!” the boy gasps, eyes shining as he wraps his little arms around Kagami’s neck and holds on tight. Unbidden, Kagami laughs, and reciprocates the action. Damned if he knows how this little boy turned up at the station, but it’s a welcome surprise that distracts from the monotony of his day.

A throat is politely cleared, and Kagami lifts his eyes to meet those of a man standing at the counter. He has a long, thin face and an attractive smile, and the lines of his shirt stretch over his chest.

“You must be Kagami-san,” he says, in an agreeable, low voice. “Yuto’s been very enthusiastic to meet you again – so have I, actually. I’m Takahashi Taisei, his father.”

Kagami straightens, careful not to displace Yuto, who’s still clinging on for dear life to his neck, and takes the hand that’s proffered. Takahashi has a strong, confident grip, and his hand is warm.

“I wanted to thank you for saving Yuto from that fire,” he continues. “Thank god you were there to save him. I can’t thank you enough.”

Kagami shrugs, and flushes. He’s not exactly comfortable with praise, even though he’s worked at the station for years already, and received his fair share of thanks (especially from little old ladies whose cats he’s saved – and, god, doesn’t it irk him that Aomine’s right on that count).

“Ah, no problem at all, Takahashi-san,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand that isn’t supporting Yuto. “I’m glad Yuto came out alright.”

Takahashi comes closer, and suddenly his eyes are burning. “I heard it was a case of arson,” he whispers. “God, what sick – a preschool, for god’s sake - “

Kagami feels his grip on Yuto unconsciously tighten. He can’t deny that he feels the exact same way, and as Takahashi grips on to his forearm with fingers that are trembling, Kagami meets his gaze steadily, but with no less intensity.

“Please catch that bastard,” Takahashi bites out. “If Yuto had – God, I can’t even imagine it. Please, Kagami-san. Promise me you’ll catch that psychopath.”

“I promise,” Kagami says, and he means it.

Takahashi gives a relieved exhale, and steps back. “Good,” he replies. “Thank you, Kagami-san.”

They look at each other for a few moments more, then Takahashi starts. “Yuto! Didn’t you want to give Kagami-san something?”

Yuto glances at him out of the sides of his eyes, then nods timidly and pulls a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. Kagami takes it from him gently. On the piece of notepaper is a crayon drawing of a stickman and a stickboy, both with helmets on and sporting the tan and neon orange uniform of the Tokyo Fire Department. They’re facing a large orange and red scribble on the corner of the paper, and the stickboy is sitting on the stickman’s shoulder and brandishing what appears to be a big yellow snake.

Kagami feels his throat tighten up. Of all the thank yous he’s ever received, this is one of the few that have made him want to cry (manly tears only, of course). He sets Yuto down carefully on the ground, and crouches next to him.

“Thank you, Yuto,” he says, quietly. “You’d make a great firefighter. I look forward to working with you and fighting many fires together.” He then makes a show of pulling his wallet out of his pocket, and folding the paper diligently into one of the pockets.

Takahashi takes Yuto’s hand and pulls him back to his side. He’s smiling at Kagami when Kagami stands up again, wincing internally at the twinge in his knee.

“You must let me make it up to you, Kagami-san,” he urges. “Please let me treat you to dinner.”

Kagami laughs self-consciously. “There’s no need for that,” he says. “It was my duty, and my pleasure, to save Yuto. Thank you for bringing him here.”

There’s something like disappointment in Takahashi’s eyes as he turns away and leads Yuto out of the station; and it’s that disappointment that Kagami recalls when he’s standing in front of the counter of the Oath, the bar he usually goes to for dinner, and he’s staring in utter bafflement at a benignly-smiling Takahashi.

“Well,” he finds is the only thing he can say. “You’re persistent.”

“I really want to make it up to you, Kagami-san,” Takahashi says, and his voice is pleasant. “Won’t you let me treat you to dinner?”

Kagami decides to give in, and nods soundlessly. He’s not going to turn down a free dinner, not when Takahashi’s offering (although he clearly doesn’t know what his wallet’s going to be in for). The two of them find a table deeper in and settle down. Kagami doesn’t need to look at the menu to know what he wants, and a smile at the bartender gets his order locked down.

“I guess you must come here often, huh,” Takahashi says, a smile crinkling the crow’s feet around his eyes. Kagami makes a sound of assent, and offers a friendly smile of his own.

Takahashi orders the pork cutlet sandwich, and they settle into their seats as the waiter retrieves their menus with a quick “Evening, Kagami-san. First time I’ve seen you here with a guest!”

“So, Takahashi-san,” Kagami starts. “What do you do? For a living, I mean.”

Takahashi laughs, a tinkling sound, and the tilt of his head as he does so lets his dark hair fall in an attractive line across his forehead. “Not a very interesting job, I’m afraid,” he murmurs. “Not as interesting as a firefighter. I work in a ratings company as an analyst.”

“Ah… That’s cool,” Kagami says, his eyes inadvertently drawn to where Takahashi has his sleeves rolled up, baring his muscular forearms. “Numbers never made sense to me, I’m afraid. I was too much of an idiot in high school.”

“I’m sure that’s not true, Kagami-san. And, I must insist, please call me Taisei. I’m not about to sit on such formalities with the man who saved my son, after all,” Takahashi says earnestly.

Kagami scratches his head. “Then please call me Taiga,” he returns, and is rewarded with another sweet smile from Taisei.

“Taisei and Taiga,” the other man muses. “Quite a pair, eh? What a coincidence.” And he looks at Kagami from under his eyelashes.

Abruptly Kagami realises he’s being flirted with, and he looks at the situation with entirely new eyes. At the way Taisei is leaning forward, just enough to intrude on Kagami’s personal space; at the cheeky quirk of his lips; at the way Kagami can feel the heat of Taisei’s leg just next to him, close enough but not quite yet to touch.

Surprisingly, the realisation doesn’t make him as uncomfortable as he would have thought. He’s certainly received attentions from older men before, but they’d always made him shy away. Not Taisei, though. Taisei makes him feel – well, wanted, and not in an altogether creepy fashion. And he is handsome; Kagami certainly can’t deny that.

He realises that he hasn’t answered Taisei, and the other man falters a bit, draws his hand back from where it had been partially outstretched, resting casually on the table. “Sorry, that was a bit forward of me, wasn’t it? Apologies if I made you feel uncomfortable, Taiga – “

Fuck Aomine, flashes briefly across his mind, and Kagami shakes the thought off irritably. Why the hell is he still hung up over Aomine at this juncture, when there’s a hot-as-fuck man vying for his attention? Kagami decides to take a chance, and his hand closes over Taisei’s. “You didn’t,” he says, and there’s that spark as their eyes meet. He offers a confident smile, and his fingers trail over the inside of Taisei’s wrist.

“Taisei,” he says, trying out the name on his tongue. It doesn’t feel quite right yet, almost as if there’s another name hovering on the edge of his tongue –

But familiarity will come in time. Taisei’s eyes burn hot at the shape of his name in Kagami’s voice, and he tightens his grip around Kagami’s hand.

“So, an analyst, did you say?” Kagami says, and there’s definitely a flirtatious note in his voice now. “I bet numbers aren’t the only things you hit,” and it’s a terrible line, but the best he can do on such short notice, and it gets Taisei laughing like a riot.

“Oh, that was truly awful, Taiga,” Taisei smirks, when he finally gets his bout of hilarity under control. “That gets all the boys into your bed, does it?”

Kagami shrugs. “Just the math nerds,” he says.

“Ahh… I haven’t been called that in a long time,” Taisei says with a sigh. “But you can call me anything you want, Taiga.” Then he winks. He fucking winks. Kagami feels a thrill that feels very much like arousal course down his spine.

Fuck Aomine, he thinks, and even thinking that bastard’s name enrages him. Fuck him. That’s the end of that.

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<warning: long a/n>

oh, haha, look at that, it’s been two years since the last update… crawls into a hole and dies of shame ;;; my only excuse is it was uni and scholarship applications one after another and then asldkfasldfjk uni is worse than a levels, anyone who tells you otherwise is lying

soooo when i got back into the fandom, i started rethinking the story through and what i want to happen in it – i know a lot of you want to see aomine suffer and get his just desserts, but for me the ultimate end goal is a happy aokaga couple. and that's honestly not going to happen without a lot of change on aomine's part. i'll be honest, back in 2017 i was ill-equipped to write a story of this emotional depth - but i’ve done my research and spoken to friends who’ve been cheated on and i think i’m prepared this time to write a story that won’t do kagami dirty. i've planned out all future chapters and will be doing my absolute best to update as promised - because nothing breaks my heart more than reading a fic i love, scrolling down and reaching the end, and realising that the last time it was updated was years ago </3

also!! i definitely still welcome feedback – i'm still trying to grow as a writer and i honestly do try to incorporate all the (constructive) criticism i receive. to those who've stuck around (i totally understand that the fan base has changed massively over the past years) - thank you for being here even as i try to stop being the same shitty and lazy author i've always have been. and definitely welcome to any new readers, thank you for joining me on this ride, and do let me know what you think!