#so from here on out in order to view any posts I make you need to pay a $10 viewing fee and a $50 monthly subscription 💜 /j

[soggy-fishsticks]

guys.... I have to go back to school wednesday ☹️☹️ *sobs* so sorry if there's a huge drop-off in posting, bc next week I'm gonna go back to being tired and unmotivated all the time bc of school ☺️😘💕✌️

[retrosabers]

𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐝.

FICMAS DAY 5 - UNWRAPPING

A RETROSABERS X PANDAPETALS DOUBLE FEATURE

old man logan x fem!reader

summary: logan didn’t believe in exchanging christmas presents. so, you offer him something you know he can’t refuse. a night where’s he’s free to have you all to himself.

contains: 18+ content below the cut. MINORS DNI. making out, some dry humping if you squint, oral (fem receiving), implied age gap, a dash of angst, swearing

word count: 2.6k

a/n: you thought i’d let a whole season pass without a little taste of some festive smut? absolutely hilarious. this is my first time writing for old man logan, and i think i did pretty alright considering i have yet to watch the movie (i’m terrified of the pain it will bring)

any feedback is always greatly appreciated!

also, don’t be confused by the fact that this says day 5 when i still haven’t posted day 4, i’m writing these bad boys out of order

and finally, a huge shoutout & thanks to the wildly talented @pandapetals for agreeing to do a little collaboration! please go check out her blog and all of her amazing work! <3

FIND HER PART HERE

!! divider by @estrelinha-s !!

FICMAS MASTERLIST

“are you sure your eyes are closed?”

logan grunts. “they’re closed, darlin’. promise.”

he’s been sitting here for almost fifteen minutes now, waiting for you to bring out this so-called “surprise.” from the ambient lighting and freshly washed bed sheets, the man thinks he’s got a general idea of what it is, but you’ve been fiddling in the bathroom too long for him to be certain.

still, he appeases you, and waits patiently at the foot of your bed. even if it’s a little bit uncomfortable on his knees.

meanwhile you’re fussing over every little detail of your appearance in the groggy bathroom mirror.

this was your solution to getting around logan’s “i don’t need anything for christmas” rule. you always begrudgingly abided by it, save for the box of cigars that always mysteriously turnt up in his nightstand on christmas eve. you knew he could never turn it down, no matter how much he tried.

logan could never say no to a smoke break with a nice pack of cubans. and he most certainly couldn’t say no to you.

that's how you decided upon this whole scheme. dolling yourself up and donning a new set of lingerie themed to the occasion, knowing logan had no leg to stand on. because technically, you didn’t buy anything for him. you bought this for you. he just so happened to be the person who was going to help take it off.

or rip it off, knowing your man’s track record of impatience and eagerness.

you share the exact same sentiment, though your tendency to be anile overpowers all else. you know it doesn’t matter if you have a hair or two out of place, or if your lips are slightly over lined. perfection never mattered to logan, but it still didn’t stop you from doing everything in your power to be pretty damn close to it tonight.

even if it meant making him wait a few extra minutes.

you pay your reflection one final glance before sauntering out into the bedroom.

he smells you before he hears you.

your scent wafting into the room captures his attention more than anything else. logan’s senses may not be as keen as they once were, but the fragrance of you was something utterly unmistakable. a sweet yet sultry aroma that he ached to have on his skin, his clothes, anywhere, to keep him grounded. to remind himself that you were real and you were his. it only adds to the anticipation building inside, the mere seconds he has to wait dragging on like hours in his mind.

a wave of lust overtakes you as logan comes into view. somehow just the sight of him is enough to send a bout of arousal down to your core.

that crisp white dress shirt he always wears is unbuttoned at the top, sleeves rolled up to reveal those chiseled forearms you love to have wrapped around you. the soft glow of the lamp on the bedside table illuminates the weathered curves of his face so beautifully. a contrast to the ruggedness of his position; legs lazily spread wide and long, thick fingers tapping mindlessly against his thigh.

the picture of a real man. and he’s all yours for the taking.

the sound of your footsteps padding against the floor grows louder. obediently, logan’s eyes stay shut, despite the fact that the other aroma you carry is hot and heavy in his nostrils. his upper lip twitches with a knowing smirk.

so this is exactly what he had in mind.

on instinct, his thighs spread even further when he senses your approach, hands itching to find their place on you somehow. when your own stay glued to your sides, he takes that as his cue to do the same.

logan really hates to admit it, but there’s something about this little bit of mystery that’s got him going before you’ve even begun.

“you ready?” your voice comes out breathy, and if logan didn’t know any better he’d think you’re nervous. and truth be told, you were. not that logan wouldn’t get his kicks, you were certain of that. more so that you’d be unable to walk come tomorrow morning.

though neither of you would consider it a bad thing

“yes ma’am,” he grumbles in response, knowing exactly the effect it has on you. the cockiness on his face is inevitable when he hears your breath hitch.

tease. if that’s how he wants to play, you’re in for a long night.

with a quiet sigh, you splay your fingers over the expanse of his broad shoulders. the man takes it as permission, calloused palms wrapping around your calves and not daring to travel any further. he knows he’ll lose any remaining self control if he gets so much as an inch closer to the apex of your thighs.

“okay.” you murmur. “you can open your eyes.”

slowly, those dark irises begin to drink you in. his grip on you tightens as soon as he gets the whole picture, a visible tent forming in his dress slacks almost immediately.

logan thought you were the most beautiful women he’s ever seen under any conditions. didn’t matter if you were sick, if you were bare faced, none of that changed how otherworldly you looked in his eyes. but nothing, and i mean nothing, compared to the sight of you before him right now.

you look like something out of a dream. hair styled in a way that drives him particularly crazy, makeup done to highlight your features so elegantly in the dim light. the best, and quite possibly logan’s favorite part, however, is that your lips are painted a shade of red to perfectly match the ensemble adorning your body. it sparks a slideshow of rather lewd images in his brain, wanting the color scattered across his cheek, his chest, his cock. anywhere you’re willing to brand him.

he’s committed every inch of you to memory by now. countless nights of exploring, mapping out your curves with hand and tongue. and still, everytime he sees you like this, practically offering yourself on a silver platter, he can’t help but stare back as though this is the very first time.

especially when that crimson silk is accentuating your figure so nicely.

“do you like it?” you ask coyly, bottom lip tucked between your teeth like you’re not fully aware of the power you have over him.

logan scoffs out a laugh, dragging his hands higher and higher until they tug at your hips, pulling you to straddle his lap in one swift motion. you squeak at the sudden display of strength, forgetting that despite his age, he was still infinitely stronger than any man you’ve ever met.

even beneath the layers of fabric between you, the sheer size of him was impossible to ignore. fuck, and he wasn’t even fully hard. you bite back a moan at the outline of his length pressed between your legs.

“that answer your question?” he quips back lowly, smirking smugly.

you hum in content, pressing your hands further into his shoulders as you experimentally grind your hips. the pair of you preen at the contact, desperate for any form of relief after being pent up and waiting.

“careful,” logan grits out in warning. “gonna cum in my pants like a fuckin’ teenager if you keep that up.”

you tsk in response, cocking your head with faux concern. “can’t have that, now can we?”

logan shakes his head at your antics, eyes wandering back over your body once more. before tonight, his favorite set of lingerie you owned was a black lacy number. simple and classic. but the more time he spends inspecting what’s currently adorning your frame, the more he thinks that red might be his new favorite color.

something warm spills over him when he glances at your chest again. something different than what he normally experiences every time he catches a glimpse of your cleavage, anyways.

“is that a bow?” he questions, a little bit amused.

you let out a soft giggle, nodding in reply.

“wanted you to be able to unwrap your present.”

you can count the amount of times logan has laughed, really truly laughed, on one hand. and as much as it sounds like music to your ears, you’re rather confused as to why he’s laughing right now.

“what’s so funny?” you huff, brows knit together and bottom lip jutted in a near pout.

logan averts your inquiry, burying his face in your neck so you can’t see him grinning like an idiot. instead, he busies himself with dragging his lips up and down the column of your throat, reveling in the breathy moans spilling from your lips with each and every press against your skin.

from the moment you met logan howlett, you fantasized about that salt and pepper beard. longed to feel the delicious sting of scruff against every part of you. as addicting as it is, the sensation isn’t enough to keep you completely distracted.

“logan,” you whine, titling your head back to grant him more access. “m’serious.”

he doesn’t halt his ministrations, too consumed with making sure your neck is painted every shade of lavender under the sun. he only stops when you rake your fingers in his hair and physically pull him off, much to both your dismays.

you give him a look. that pursed lips, narrow eyed “what aren’t you saying to me” look that signals he’s going to have to fess up to whatever’s on his mind, or else the evening would be coming to an end right here and now. from the way he’s about to burst through the zipper on his dress slacks, you know he’s not considering weighing options.

logan sighs heavily. if you didn’t know all the variations of the sound, you’d think he was upset with you. but that was far from how the older man felt. he begins to examine your face, observing everything from the slopes of your bone structure, to the color of your irises. he studies your features like an artisan in a gallery, content on not missing a single detail.

after a moment, the corners of his mouth turn up a hair. eyes almost dopey; filled with a lovesickness he never thought could be possible.

“you’re somethin’ else, y’know that?” he murmurs into the air, rough fingertips tracing back and forth across your spine.

you speak the language of logan fluently, knowing exactly what the underlying message of his words were. in reality, he was saying, “what did i do in this life to deserve you? will you ever know how much i love you? i hope you’ll be mine for as long as you’ll have me.”

suddenly his round of laughter from before rings brighter in your ears.

instead of saying another word, you guide his face to yours, connecting your lips in a silent understanding.

logan always kisses you like a man starved, devouring you whole as though every kiss may be the last. there was nothing tame, or tender about the man they once called the wolverine, but you managed to slip between the cracks of his stony disposition, and bring forth all the parts of himself he swore he lost decades ago.

your hands encircle around the back of his neck, logan’s squeezing at the flesh of your hips. he pulls you impossibly closer, pressing the swell of your chest against his own. the feeling of your nipples pebbling through velvet fabric reminds him of the true nature of your current situation.

tonight was for him. his pleasure, his enjoyment. he knew you’d be heavily dissatisfied if he didn’t indulge in what you were offering.

and what kind of man would logan be, if he disappointed his sweet girl?

you’re not expecting him to be so gentle when he turns and flips you over, mouth never once leaving yours. a large hand spread across your back as he lowers you down onto the mattress with a care reserved for you and only you. a fact that adds to your current state of arousal. your legs open like second nature, and logan slots himself between them as though that’s where he was always meant to be.

the whine that leaves you when he pulls away would be embarrassing if it weren’t for the hunger in his stare. those normally hazel pupils now a brownish black that overshadowed bright white. he sits back on his haunches, glazing over your pretty little lingerie with a newfound appreciation.

he reaches to toy with the end of the bow tied snugly between your breasts, a teasing invitation that he graciously accepts.

at a tantalizing pace, he begins to unwrap his present, watching with lustful eyes as more and more skin becomes exposed. you arch your back the slightest bit to get the job done faster, the shoe of impatience now snug on your foot instead of his.

normally, logan would scold, spit something about “being a good girl and waiting.” but he’s just as riled up and eager as you are, and he gives the velvet one final tug that has your breasts springing free.

god you were absolute perfection.

he can’t resist running a thumb over your erect nipples, reveling in the way you squirm over such a small touch. your color coated lips swollen and shiny from his kisses. body already relaxed and pliant, willing to do whatever he so pleases.

a few minutes ago, he would’ve torn your outfit off without second thought and shown no mercy. let the shitty week he was having take control, guide him through the motions of achieving pleasure. but something inside logan urges him to be a little sentimental; take his sweet time on the off chance that he wakes up and discovers this was all a dream.

so he decides that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

the path down to your core was a familiar one, a route he knew like the back of his hand. sloppy, wet kisses trail down your stomach, a small crack in logan’s otherwise composed exterior. by the time he reaches the hem of your panties, tongue teasing beneath the waistband, you’re bursting at the seams with desire, unable to stop yourself from whimpering and bucking your hips upward.

“i gotcha honey,” he whispers against the inside of your thigh, rubbing soft circles with his thumb. “m’gonna take real good care of ya.”

logan knew you were soaked the second you walked into the room. didn’t need to see or feel it to know. still, he indulges his ego and stares proudly at the dark patch in the center of your underwear. knowing it was all his doing, that he was the only one who could get you like this.

when he pulls the fabric to the side and is met with your glistening folds, he can’t help the groan that rumbles in his chest.

“merry fuckin’ christmas to me,” he all but growls before diving right in.

it’s in moments like these where he wishes that photographic memory was his mutation, though he doubts he’ll ever forget this. his perfect girl, laid out so delicately beneath him, basking in the pale moonlight that seeped in between the curtains. his own personal utopia, paradise within the four walls of this rickety building you called home.

logan wonders if maybe he’s finally succumbed to the poison in his bones. because this sure does feel like heaven.

at the very least, it most definitely feels like christmas.

because having the privilege of watching you come undone was the gift that kept on giving all year round.

thanks for reading! <3

taglist: @alastor-simp @j4desblurbs @pandapetals @hextech-bros

!! if you would like to be tagged in the rest of the ficmas blurbs, please send me an inbox message or leave a comment !!

[cayleeuhithinknott]

— sub!matt getting a taste of his own medicine. . .

the loud, needy whines gave it away.

you’d always asked matt not to jerk off when you weren’t present. just because you always wanted to be with him and be able to see him cum. and in return, you didn’t masturbate without him either. that’s just how it worked with you two.

so, given that you were pretty active with matt and you were always around when he’d jerk off, you knew exactly what his moans sounded like when he was doing it. which is why you knew exactly what was occurring when you stood before your bedroom door and heard those high-pitched, filthy sounds echoing from the other side. matt seemed to think he was still home alone.

you quietly twist open the door knob, softly stepping into the room. and there he is. legs slightly spread as he lays on his back, hair tousled, face red. his head is tossed back and his right hand is jerking his cock at a surprisingly fast pace. he doesn’t even know you’re here.

you watch as matt is met with his orgasm—clearly not his first one of the night—and his body violently trembles as high-pitched whimpers spill from his lips. his sticky cum spurts onto his thighs and his lower tummy.

“ahem.”

matt’s head snaps up at the sound of your voice. oh, he’s screwed. for some reason, he’s quick to pull the blanket over himself and cover up—maybe trying to hide the evidence?

“h-how long have you—have you been standing there…?” matt stammers, the tips of his ears burning red. “long enough to know that you touched yourself and came without permission.” you snap, crossing your arms and sauntering over to the side of the bed. matt gulps.

“i—i’m sorry, i just couldn’t—couldn’t wait any longer!” matt pleads, trying to reason with you. he tries to sit up, to which you shove him back down. “no. you disobeyed me, matthew. don’t you know only naughty boys touch themselves without permission? or are you too stupid to know that?” you scold.

matt pouts at that. he opens his mouth to speak again—probably an excuse—but you cut him off before any words can slip out of his mouth. “i think you need to learn how badly it hurts my feelings when you touch yourself without permission,” you say with a faux pout. “sit up.”

matt follows your orders like a damn puppy, scrambling to sit up against the headboard. “oh, now you’re bein’ a good boy.” you tease, running your hand through his hair and tugging slightly.

you walk away from your bed and step into your closet, out of matt’s view. you rummage around until you finally find them—the fuzzy black handcuffs. right next to them was a box. inside was your new dildo you haven’t tried yet. perfect. the universe seemed to be on your side tonight.

you walk back into the bedroom with both in your hand, and matt’s eyes widen like saucers. stepping over to him, you cuff each of his wrists to the bed posts. “maybe if you were a good boy, i wouldn’t have to restrain you. but it seems you can’t be trusted, hm?”

“no, please—“

“be quiet.” you snap, stepping away from the bed. you pull your rolling desk chair right in front of the bed. this whole situation was making you unbelievably wet—you could feel your sticky folds sticking to your panties. you loved punishing matt. because you enjoyed hearing him whine and you liked the power trip it gave you. but most of all, you loved it because deep down, you knew matt was enjoying it.

you peel off your shirt in a deliberately leisure manner, unclasping your bra as well and dropping it onto the floor. matt stares at you in adoration, lips parted, breathing heavy. next is your shorts. you slip them off, dragging them down your thighs tantalizingly slow. matt whines.

“impatient little thing, hm?” you coo, dropping your shorts on the floor with the rest of your clothes. matt tugs at his handcuffs, “please, mama…”

you ignore his pleading, slipping off your soaked panties and tossing them onto the bed by matt’s feet. you grab your dildo from the box, sitting on the chair and spreading your legs wide.

matt’s jaw drops. you looked so beautiful. he desperately tugs at his restraints again, to which you chuckle dryly. you run the silicone tip up and down your slit, teasing matt beyond belief.

finally, you plunge it into yourself, and a loud moan seeps through your lips. matt shudders.

he’s fucked.

so very fucked.

it felt so good. not as good as matt’s cock, but still good. you squeeze your eyes shut, increasing the thrusting pace of the dildo in your hand.

“mama, please—“ matt pleads, his voice cracking in desperation. poor, poor thing. his cock was painfully hard, his tip red and leaking. matt was sweating profusely, despite the shivers running through him as he watched you fuck yourself.

he wanted needed you. needed to be the one making you feel good. not some stupid piece of silicone.

“mmm, feels so good, baby…” you purr, eyes rolling back as you bring your free hand down to rub tight circles on your clit. “wish you could be the one makin’ mama feel this good,” you sigh. “it’s a shame my boy doesn’t know how to follow simple rules.”

matt whines between his ragged breaths, trying his best to sit up to get a better view of you. he tugs slightly at the cuffs, starting to buck his hips up into the air. “m-mama please—i’ll be a good boy i promise! c-can make you feel so good!” he grovels, sounding absolutely wrecked.

the toy inside you starts to hit that sweet spot and it has you teetering on the brink of an orgasm. you finally fixate your squinted eyes on him and realize what a mess he looks.

messy hair—some of it sticking to his forehead from sweat. chest heaving. cheeks flushed. and his hips pathetically bucking up into the air in pure desperation.

matt’s whimpers grow more prominent as your moans get more frequent. you were both going to cum. and only one of you was actually touching yourself. how pathetic.

you rub your finger faster against your clit, chasing your orgasm. just as the tidal wave hits you, a violent shudder runs through your body and a loud mewl accompanies it. but, your sounds aren’t the only ones you’re hearing.

panting, you pull the toy out of yourself and set it down, looking up at matt who’s on the bed. as if on cue, as soon as matt’s eyes meet yours, it simply takes one more buck of his hips for him to let out a pathetic cry, ropes of cum spurting out onto his lower tummy and upper thighs.

“awww. poor thing came just from watching mama get off? that’s pathetic, matthew,” you coo, stalking over to the bed and starting to rid him of his handcuffs. “y’just so perfect, mama…i like seein’ you feel good, even if i’m not always the one doin’ it…” he croons in absolute adoration of you.

god, you’re never getting rid of him.

author’s note. . . hi! sorry this is super short and absolutely horrendous AND not proofread…i’ve had this idea for a while i’m just lazy. im not doing my usual taglist for this one, just people i know for a fact like sub!matt. i hope you liked it im going to sleep now goodnight

🏷️ : @oopsiedaisydeer @luvs4matt @grace-sturnz @strnilolover @adorechris @courta13 @sturnboos @owenstar @mattybsgroupie @tezzzzzzzz @surprisecurlyfriesbackup @theyluvivi @zenithsturniolo

© cayleeuhithinknott

[aphel1on]

the longer i look at this panel the more deranged i feel about it. this is environmental storytelling at its finest.

the eodio stand-in doll in particular makes me crazy. where did it come from? did thistle just pop into the village like "hey ungrateful wretches, one of you needs to make me a life-sized mannequin, For Reasons". did he make it himself? seems quite unlikely, yet the possibility haunts me. i mean, i guess there could've been one just lying around the dungeon somewhere. it's the act of replacement itself that really gets to me. (edit: it's been pointed out to me that the eodio doll also could have been left behind as part of delgal's escape plan. slightly different kind of madness but tbh, just as funny-sad to me if that happened and thistle went Ok, Guess That's Eodio Now.)

both the wives are there too. we know very little about them, which makes me tend to assume thistle wasn't all that close to them, but they're still included. when did they end up here? did he kick their souls out of their bodies at some point, or were they among those who left their bodies voluntarily to try and escape? when did yaad become an effective orphan, delgal an effective widower? women in the margins of the narrative, tell me your stories!

and the fact that they're surrounded with the living paintings, which thistle habitually wanders through to relive the past. this truly is his inner sanctum, his place of utmost comfort... and it may as well be a tomb.

that panel is so creepy when you first see it. just a sense of "ohh jeez, there's a lot to unpack there".

and actually, yeah, it remains creepy from pretty much any angle, but the more you think about it the more it's also tragic.

this is where many of thistle's happiest moments took place. everything he had in that picture is now gone. first he lost their warm regard, then one-by-one their bodies became hollow shells. before the end, none of the people here needed or enjoyed food anymore. the dinner table, as a center of both family life and nutrition, became obsolete.

a line from someone else's excellent post about thistle has stuck in my head ever since i read it: "to eat is to live, but to eat together is to be loved". to me, this is the sentiment and symbolism at the core of everything that happens in dungeon meshi.

it makes this bit all the sadder and more disturbing.

there's several things to note here:

thistle has gone from seated and eating with them as part of the family, to a lonely and ominous figure hovering over delgal's shoulder

eodio is conspicuously absent from view, and his body would have been a husk by now, but yaad says parents, which forces me to assume that they are sitting at the table with eodio's soulless body, hidden under yaad's speech bubble

they're not actually eating anything.

those plates are empty. you could assume that they've already finished eating, maybe, but yaad refers to it as sitting around the dinner table. in fact, he compares it to what he's currently doing; sitting at the dinner table watching the touden party eat, not eating anything himself.

it paints a pretty grim picture. for some time even after the fantasy had fallen apart, even after there was no need or desire to eat, they kept gathering around the dinner table. at that point, i'd guess only so as not to provoke thistle's wrath.

but even that last happened a long, long time ago.

this is a callback to what senshi said in the golden kingdom: the reason the people keep maintaining their fields and silverware and so forth is that they need to do so in order to stay sane.

paradoxically, the dinner table is the most striking evidence of thistle's insanity, and at the same time, it's the only anchor to sanity he has left.

he kept enforcing the ritual of dinner together long after it lost significance. when even that was impossible- because almost everyone's souls were gone- he kept their bodies at the table anyway. it's fine. it's fine! he's protected them, physically, just like he set out to. they're all still breathing. at a glance it looks like they could wake up and resume dinner at any moment. like this, it's easy to pretend.

isn't that what being a dungeon lord is, at the core of it? rejecting reality, staying in the prison of one's impossible desires. it's just one long game of pretend.

thistle did all this to protect his loved ones. no matter how obsessive and twisted he became in pursuit of that over the years, his core motivation never changed. this is all he has left of that dream: his loved ones' bodies gathered around the locus of their happiest memories together. like this, he can tell himself he's succeeded.

when eodio's body vanished with delgal's soul in it- when he couldn't even have that anymore... well.

i want to reach through the screen and shake him. no, they're not, thistle. THISTLE, NO, THEY'RE NOT! the doll of eodio is the closest thing to him in this panel, underlining the point. when that final illusion was shattered, he became completely unable to cope with reality.

therefore casually forgetting the creepy eodio doll isn't real.

thistle isn't stupid. eodio's body vanished at the same time as delgal's soul. shortly after, more adventurers came pouring in than ever before. deep down, he knows what happened. if he didn't, being confronted with the truth by mithrun wouldn't have made him panic so hard he summoned chimera falin to the first floor.

yet still...

he absolutely can't admit that to himself. he is clinging to the last scraps of the illusion with everything he has.

this is a dungeon lord at the end of desire. this is a lotus-eater machine left running long after its conclusion. this is mithrun lying listlessly in his bed, his replica lover having given up any pretense of being human. the illusion is all that's left. (an illusion is all it ever was.) thistle and the citizens of the golden kingdom- they're ghosts just as much as the ones who wander the dungeon floors. and if it weren't for thistle sealing the lion away, he would've been eaten by it long ago.

all of this encapsulated by that single panel of the dinner table.

[fraddit]

This is the first post in a series of four about the 118 firehouse on 9-1-1, including floor plans, screen shots, and detailed discussion.

The other posts in this series: Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

My other floor plans: Diaz House | Buck's Loft | Madney House

They're also on my Ao3

Overview

Broadly speaking I’ll start by talking about the actual building, then move on to discuss the model I built, then I’ll go into detail by section/room, starting with the stuff I’m absolutely certain about, then stuff that’s less cut and dry, and finally stuff that’s purely theoretical at this point, along with some extras.

Here we have a bird's eye view of the entire thing, both upstairs and downstairs. There will be additional close up bird's eye views of each individual section when I discuss them in detail throughout the posts.

The Real Building

First, let’s talk about the actual real life building that they film in. The firehouse set lives in a converted warehouse in Glendale, which makes that line from The Bachelor scene in s7e04 an extremely funny (to me) meta joke.

As for dimensions, the building is 60 feet wide and roughly 165 feet long. She’s big y’all. For scale, here are both Eddie and Buck’s living spaces inside the firehouse:

Below are some grungy google maps exterior shots for your viewing pleasure. I’m particularly delighted by the graffiti on the front garage door that reads: Don’t call 911. BAKE! (wake & bake)

It's here that I need to be pedantic about the roof. As you can see, this building has a sloped roof. That little smaller bit that pokes out the top is called a monitor and it allows for clerestory windows to let daylight into the full length of the building. This sloped roof is held up inside by massive wood trusses which feature very prominently in many of the interior shots. Below are some example screen shots. I have passive aggressively highlighted the slope of the interior roof. Also, you can see the monitor roof with all the windows in it.

Obviously they cannot hang out in lawn chairs on top of this roof. They film all the roof scenes at the Fox studios lot. You can tell by the surrounding buildings visible in the background of those shots. Note Fox Plaza (the Die Hard building) behind Athena below.

Additionally, it’s not always the same roof. I’ve highlighted two of the buildings I’m certain or mostly certain about below. I also labeled Stage 6 toward the top left of the image, which was the 9-1-1 sound stage through season 8.

I have a mental workaround that allows me to reconcile these conflicting roof situations that I’ll explain in depth toward the end of all this, because it’s also relevant to a couple other things too.

Also, this isn’t relevant to anything really, but I need to say that at no point in this entire process did I notice any evidence of climate control systems in the building, and there also appears to be zero insulation. So I cannot imagine this place is comfortable to film in a lot of the time. They seem to always have huge fans in bts videos during the summer, and I imagine it’s pretty chilly in there during winter filming. Thank god for the temperate Los Angeles weather, I suppose.

The Exterior

As far as the exterior goes, three sides of the building are exposed, and one wall is shared with the building next door.

The front facade in the show is mostly red brick and is completely computer generated. There’s a side alleyway that has like an engine hoist or something? I am not a mechanical expert. Sometimes the hose racks are out there, etc.

Also, when Buck was going insane and ordering basketballs to the station and suggesting they get a hoop, I could have sworn they already had one in the side alley, and sure enough, I wasn’t insane. It’s there in the background of Hen Begins. I guess canonically, it's gone by the time Buck’s losing his marbles, but at least I have proof I didn’t lose mine.

Around the back is an extremely tall wall covered with greenery. There’s also a few trees and other planters and what seems to be a pretty nice sitting area with concrete benches, but those might belong to the building next door.

About The 3D Model I Built

I built the model in a program called Chief Architect. I first started this project in *checks notes* March?? of 2022. However, then it kind of fell by the wayside for a while, gathering digital dust. When I started working on it in earnest again last year, I added updated screen shots to my reference files up through s7e05. So the model I built is accurate through that point.

Things like wall decor and various props will not necessarily match to current seasons. But they change that stuff pretty regularly between seasons anyway, so it’s not technically fully accurate to any one season.

There’s really not much that’s different in s8, so it’s not a big deal, but, where relevant, I’ve noted a few things I’ve noticed off hand while watching the episodes as they aired.

The dimensions and angles of everything are reasonably accurate. And the roof trusses are accurate to their location within the building and their height off the floor, but I let the program auto-generate all the cross beams and I left a lot of detail above that out, like the monitor roof and the lighting.

Also, I didn’t build anything that we haven’t actually seen. So those three corners of the building downstairs are just shown as big empty rooms. Are there walls and rooms in there? Probably! Can I show you them? Nope! I've seen glimpses through some of those doors in bts videos, and it seems like they store equipment in those sections irl.

Next up, in depth exploration of the upstairs sections.

Continue to part two...

[grandprixprincess]

hermana part 4 || ln4

lando norris x reader smau + written

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

warnings: slight angst for like 5 seconds, some language, suggestive language, mostly fluff, down bad lando, supportive big bro carlos, lando and y/n are in LOVEEEE, carlando fans this one is for u <3

a/n: sorry for the delay on this, was feeling a bit uninspired and wanted to wait until inspiration struck me again! this is the final part BUT I love this concept/universe so much, so if you have any requests for smaus/blurbs within this universe, please lmk <3 the photo limit kinda limited me on this one :/

yourusername posted a story

caption: P4 for 4 and P5 for 55 🧡❤️

story replies:

yoursister ❤️

yourusername 🧡 (shhh) yoursister 😂 I'm telling Carlos yourusername NO PLS

landonorris me and bae look so good here 😍

yourusername 🙄 landonorris fine i'm done landonorris where are you :( i need kisses yourusername idk go find ur bae landonorris I'M TRYING but i can't find you yourusername fineeee meet me in your drivers room landonorris 😏 yes ma'am

"Lan, we should go."

"Just a few more." He pressed another sweet kiss to your lips, followed by another. "I've been deprived of your kisses all afternoon, do you blame me?"

You giggled, letting Lando continue to give you lazy kisses. "No, but we're going to be late for dinner."

He shrugged his shoulder. "Let's skip it. Let's order in, eat in the room..." He continued to give you kisses as he spoke. "I just want you all to myself tonight."

"What are we going to tell Carlos?"

Lando groaned, letting his head fall to your shoulder. "That muppet is the biggest cock block."

You laughed again, letting your hands lazily play with his growing curls as you said, "If we hurry, we can make dinner, and I'll make it up to you after we're done."

Your words made Lando's head lift up immediately, his eyebrow quirked. "Make it up to me, hmm?"

You nodded, letting your fingers continue to caress his curls. You knew just what to do to have Lando wrapped around your finger. "You did so good today, baby." You tugged a bit on his hair, Lando's eyes fluttering shut for a moment. "I'm proud of you."

His eyes locked on yours again, full of adoration. "I'll try and win the sprint tomorrow for you, yeah?"

"Okay, deal." You gave him one last kiss before grabbing his hand, guiding him to the door. "Let's go, cowboy."

Lando let out a laugh and rolled his eyes playfully, "People are still calling me cowboy, y'know."

landonorris posted

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, maxfewtrell, and others

landonorris Howdy Austin 🤠

all photo creds to this cutie yourusername

tagged: yourusername, carlossainz55

view all comments

user1 "this cutie" 🥰

user2 lany/n on main FINALLY

user3 lany/n pic before carlando pic...oh it's so real they're in love

yourbestfriend 🧡

maxfewtrell I'm surprised you got her to wear that color

yourusername me too carlossainz55 me three yourbestfriend me four landonorris me five

f1gossip posted a story

caption: Lando and Y/N have arrived bright and early for Sprint and Qualifying day at the #USGP.

f1 posted

liked by user1, user2, user3, yourusername, and others

f1 The points scorers from the Austin Sprint! ✨

🏆 Verstappen 🥈 Sainz 🥉 Norris

view all comments

user1 this was actually a great sprint ngl

user2 CARLANDO 2-3 LFG

user3 mad max is back

user4 lando said he was happy but he still looked so upset after

user5 he's always like that it's so annoying user2 every point counts, he had 2nd place until the last lap, of course he's probably a little upset user6 y/n liked the post, I think he's fine

f1gossip posted

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, and others

f1gossip Trouble in paradise? Y/N was seen entering the paddock with Carlos today following the on track battle between Carlos and Lando from yesterday's sprint race at the #USGP. She has not been seen anywhere near the McLaren garage today ahead of the race this afternoon.

view all comments

user1 NO PLEASE

user2 it's a race 🙄 tf does lando expect, for carlos to let him pass????

user3 fr and leave y/n out of it. it was clean racing

user4 chill she doesn't need to be with lando 24/7

user5 exactly!!!

yourusername posted stories

story 1 caption: RACE DAY FORZA FERRARI 🏎

story 2 caption: it's too hottttt for this jacket ☀️

story replies to story 1:

landonorris please text me back

landonorris can I please see you?

user2 queen are you going to see your man 😔

user3 i love that the tifosi didn't lose you entirely to the orange man

story replies to story 2:

yourbestfriend but such a slay!!!

landonorris you're hottttt

landonorris ok but really please respond baby

You were sitting in the Ferrari hospitality looking over the messages Lando had sent you the past few hours. You were currently debating if you should message Lando back.

"Here, put this on."

Carlos' words made you look up from your phone. In Carlos' hand was a papaya-colored shirt, causing you to shoot him a confused look. "Uh, what is this for?"

Carlos shoved the shirt in your hand. "Put it on, and go to McLaren."

Looking at the shirt closer, it seemed to be a McLaren branded shirt. "Where did you even get this?"

Rolling his eyes, Carlos replied, "It doesn't matter. Put it on, go to McLaren, and watch the race over there."

You were at a loss for words. "But...I've always watched the race from your garage."

"Yeah, well that was then, this is now." You looked down at the shirt again. "It's okay, Y/N."

"Why though?"

Carlos took a seat next to you. "I talked to him. He told me what he said. Why didn't you tell me what happened?"

You avoided eye contact with him. "I didn't want you to get mad. I was so happy and proud of you yesterday; I didn't even think twice about wanting to celebrate before thinking about the stress he's been under by the team."

He bumped his shoulder with yours, getting you to look up at him. "He feels bad. He looked like he wanted to cry." Carlos chuckled. When you stayed silent, he continued. "He loves you. I can tell that you love him. You should go and be with him."

Lando loves you? "Lando loves me?"

Carlos smirked, shaking his head. "Manita, that boy has loved you since the moment you two met."

"Lan?" Even though you knew he was inside waiting for you, you still knocked. The door swung open not a moment later, revealing Lando, already in his fireproofs, with the rest of his race suit hanging by his legs. You glanced up at him, sending him a small smile. "Hi."

Lando stared at your adoringly, and if it was possible, even more so after glancing down at your papaya shirt. "Hi." He nervously held his arm out, beckoning you inside. "Please, come in."

You walked in, taking a seat on the couch. Lando stood by the door a few feet away, like he was afraid if he got too close, he'd scare you off. You held out your hand this time, urging him closer. "Baby, come sit with me. Please?"

At your soft tone, Lando sat down. He nervously grabbed your hand and lightly squeezed. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I never should've gotten angry with you." He kept his eyes locked with yours, wanting you to truly feel the sincerity of his words. "I wanted to apologize this morning, but then you left, and I got angry again. But you were right about needing space. It made me realize how stupid I was..." He began to rub soft circles on your hand. "You're the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I mean that. It's you. It's always been you. I'll never take that for granted again."

Lando's words rendered you speechless. Your next words came out before you could even think about it. "I love you."

Silence rang between you two for a moment, before Lando spoke. "Say it again. I want to make sure I'm not dreaming."

You giggled. "I love you, Lando Norris." You reached your hand out, cupping his cheek.

Lando melted into your touch, smile overtaking his face. "I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N." Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss on your lips. "Do you forgive me?"

You nodded, pecking his lips again. "Yes, baby." A comfortable silence fell between you as you shared a few more sweet kisses. "I can't believe you told Carlos. I also can't believe he let you live."

Lando laughed, nodding his hand. "Not gonna lie, it was scary, but not as scary as losing you would've been."

"Well good thing I'm staying; you're never getting rid of me."

"Good." Lando kissed you again. "Now, let's get you set up in the garage for the race. The entire team can't believe you're here. I think some of them placed bets on it."

You laughed, grabbing Lando's hand, letting him lead you to the garage.

f1gossip posted

liked by user1, user2, user3, and others

f1gossip 🚨 Y/N is watching the Austin GP from the McLaren garage! 👀 She was spotted walking around the paddock rocking papaya! 🧡

view all comments

user1 OMGGG???

user2 bye they're so endgame

user1 right like wdym she's not watching the race from her brother's garage???  😭😭😭

user3 lany/n nation how we feeling

user4 girl literally posted "forza ferrari" like 2 hours ago 😂

user2 god forbid a girl have hobbies user5 it's called multitasking 💅

user5 y/n back in the mclaren garage 😭 we won

yourusername posted stories

story 1 caption: back in the sea of papaya 🧡

story 2 caption: my man 🥰🤩😋

story 3 caption: cota photo dump coming soon 📸😉

story 1 replies:

yourbestfriend wait omg???

yourusername hehehe 😋

yoursister UMMM 🤨

yourusername it was carlos' idea!!!! yoursister 🤯

story 2 replies:

yourbestfriend can't believe i lost you to the orange man 😔 but ya'll are cute or wtv

user1 HIS SMILE I'M CRYING

oscarpiastri he was soooo sad and annoying this morning, I applaud you for dealing with...that

yourusername lmaooo imma stick beside him 😌 yourusername i had so much fun hanging out with lily during the race btw 🥺 that's my wife now oscarpiastri oh god...

landonorris hey i love you

yourusername i love YOU landonorris i love youuuuu landonorris I LOVE YOU landonorris sorry it just feels so good to say yourusername i love you sosososo much 👩‍❤️‍👨

story 3 replies:

user3 omg wait are we getting yn.jpg???

user2 yn.jpg would heal me

landonorris posted

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, yoursister, lnfour, and others

landonorris till next time TX ☀️

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri

view all comments

yourusername the tag on my leg is crazy ♥︎ by author

yourusername proud of u cowboy 🤠

landonorris 🤠

user1 it's the way y/n always puts a smile on lando's face!!!! like bye i would die for them

user2 protect lany/n at all costs

carlossainz55 posted

liked by iamrebeccad, yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and others

carlossainz55 🇺🇸🏆 P2!

view all comments

scuderiaferrari On to Mexico to keep pushing 💪

user1 FERRARI 1-2 ❤️🏎

user2 we almost had a carlando podium 😔

user3 forreal 😭 y/n is about to go feral on the fia user2 when they cut to her in the garage reacting to lando's penalty i lost it 😭 someone hold my girl back user3 nah let my girl fight

yourusername proud of you hermano!!! ❤️

yourusername also damn no photo creds, that podium changed you 😔

carlossainz55 🙄 user4 waitttt carlos lando and y/n on the same flight 😭 this takes me back to the carlando mclaren days 😭 user5 we're soooo back

yoursister 👏👏👏

landonorris mega drive mate 👏

yourusername posted

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, iamrebeccad, and others

yourusername yee-haw 🤠

view all comments

yoursister ❤️🧡 (forza ferrari tho)

yourusername 😂 carlossainz55 😂 carlosonoros 😂 iamrebeccad 😂 landonorris 😅

user3 stop the whole sainz family on the flight w lando and y/n😭😭

user2 they're literally going to adopt him at this point

user1 everyone say thank you y/n for the carlando content

yn.jpg posted

liked by lando.jpg, landonorris, daniel3.jpg, and others

yn.jpg 🇺🇸 cota '24 mems

view all comments

user1 YN.JPG I REPEAT YN.JPG

user2 lando liking on both accounts he's so real

lando.jpg 📸

daniel3.jpg welcome to the .jpg family

yn.jpg thanks mate 😄

yourusername posted a close friends story

story caption: next stop: mexico 🇲🇽

story replies:

landonorris baby where did you even get this pic

yourusername 😈 hehehe

carlossainz55 lmao

yourusername thank you for sending me this pic

yourusername posted stories

story 1 caption: just here to look cute and make sure they don't kill my boyfriend 👍

story 2 caption: my lunch dates 🥰

story 1 replies:

yoursister smh less than 12 hours in mexico and they dragged you to a golf course????

yourusername yes 🤦‍♀️ they practically interrogated lando the whole time yoursister and so will I in abu dhabi 🤨 yourusername please have mercy

user1 omg you're in mexico??? more y/n in the paddock content 🙏

landonorris thank u 🙏 I think I won sainz sr over

yourusername yes you tell yourself that baby 😄 whatever you wanna believe 😄 landonorris wait what

story 2 replies:

alexandrasaintmleux can we still have lunch dates together next year? 😭

yourusername yes 😭

iamrebeccad love youuu

yourusername love youuu my sister 👯‍♀️

landonorris posted stories

story 1 caption: made it out alive ⛳️

story 2 caption: quick snooze before practice with my favorite person

story 3 caption: quali ready 🇲🇽

story 1 replies:

carlossainz55 if you think my dad and I are intimidating, just you wait

landonorris wait what carlossainz55 🤣 carlossainz55 you've never met y/n's dad, have you? landonorris ...no carlossainz55 LMAOOOOO 🤣😂

story 2 replies:

user3 favorite 😭 person 😭

maxfewtrell simp

oscarpiastri caught you guys in 4k

story 3 replies:

yourusername omg

yourusername i'm on my knees give me a chance pleaseeeeee

yourusername PLEASEEEEEE 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

yourusername posted stories

story 1 caption: tell a friend to tell a friend...SHE'S BAAAAACK

story 2 caption: celebrating that amazing quali with our family :) P1 AND P3 BABYYYY

story 1 replies:

scuderiaferrari Thought we lost you there for a second 😅

yoursister aww yay I'm glad you'll be with everyone

landonorris damn that was quick

yourusername hehe love you <3 landonorris love you ;)

story 2 replies:

carlosonoros not that you need it, but he's got my seal of approval prima 👍

yourusername this is why you're my favorite

user1 "our family" 🥺

carlossainz55 posted

liked by scuderiaferrari, landonorris, yourusername, charles_leclerc, iamrebeccad, and others

carlossainz55 P1 in Mexico! 🇲🇽🏆 Winning here in front of this incredible crowd is amazing, definitely a weekend to remember 🙌

Grateful to be surrounded by loved ones this weekend, thank you for all the support!

view all comments

user1 that was very smooth operator of you

yoursister VAMOSSSS 🔥 wish I was there to celebrate!

yourusername I;M STILL CRYIGN

yoursister ME TOO iamrebeccad ME THREE

user2 who else started crying seeing the entire sainz family celebrating

user3 🙋‍♀️ user1 they all looked so proud during the podium 😭 user3 so happy mama sainz was there to witness carlos win irl

user5 the smile on y/n's face seeing her brother and her man celebrating on the podium together ❤️🧡

user1 rebecca and y/n hugging each other during the race got me😭

user2 i'm glad y/n was in the ferrari garage this week

landonorris bravo carlitos 💪

f1gossip posted

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, and others

f1gossip 🚨 Carlos Sainz and Lando Norris are celebrating their 1-2 finish in Mexico together with the Sainz family!

view all comments

user1 carlos and lando sitting next to each other and not rebecca and y/n lmaoooo

user5 lando literally sending heart eyes to carlos AND y/n in the same video😭

user2 carlando is soooo back

user3 lando is literally an adopted sainz now

user2 lando 🤝 y/n, both being adopted by the sainz family

user4 lando norris-sainz fr

yourusername posted

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, iamrebeccad, lilyzneimer, scuderiaferrari, mclaren, and others

yourusername what a weekend to remember 🇲🇽🏆 grateful to be here and witness my hermano take the top step of the podium (and he had some pretty good company with him 😉)

endlessly proud of you both carlossainz55 landonorris <3

& thx for the cool jacket mclaren 😎

view all comments

landonorris 🧡 ♥︎ by author

mclaren you're welcome, we wanted to welcome you back to papaya army properly 🧡😎

scuderiaferrari 🤨 user3 did the ferrari admin forget that carlos is leaving in like 2 months lmaoooo user4 fr y/n will be decked out in blue in march

carlossainz55 gracias hermanita, te amo ❤️ Estoy feliz de poder compartir estos momentos contigo (thank you little sister, I love you. I'm happy I can share these moments with you) ♥︎ by author

yourusername llorando de nuevo ily😭 (crying again ily) user1 i think everyone is also crying again 😭❤️

user4 my lany/n heart can't take this

yoursister bravo carlos and lando !!!

landonorris thank u 😎 carlossainz55 🙏💪

lilyzneimer let's wear our jackets next gp you're here pls

yourusername twin where have u been</3 nobody knows me like u do</3 miss u lilyzneimer miss u </3 oscarpiastri stop 😃 landonorris 😂

charles_leclerc i was on the podium too....

alexandrasaintmleux shush user1 LMAOOOO

user2 the sweetest post 😭😭😭

You were out at a club in Mexico celebrating the race results. It was loud and packed, but Lando's hand on your hip secured you and made you feel safe.

The two of you watched as Carlos got lifted in the air by a few members of his team. You laughed, shaking your head before turning to face your boyfriend. You leaned close to his ear so he could hear you. "Having fun?"

Lando smiled. "With you? Always." He lightly squeezed your hip, then brought his head down to plant a kiss on your lips. "I'm so lucky."

"So am I." You turned fully to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I'm so proud of you. You should be proud of yourself too."

"You know I'm not very good at doing that."

"I know," you started, letting your hands begin to play with the hair around Lando's neck. Lando smirked as you began to do so. "That's why you have me. To remind you."

Lando couldn't stop the huge smile that overtook his face. "Well, good thing I have you, huh?"

You nodded. "You'll always have me."

The sweet moment was interrupted when Carlos suddenly appeared next to the two of you, hand gripping both your shoulders. One look at him let you know he was definitely drunk already.

"Hi, Carlitos. You doing okay?"

"Listen, I know we've established that I like and support this," Carlos gestured his hands between you and Lando, "but don't go getting any funny ideas in Vegas, okay?"

You and Lando shared a glance at hearing Carlos' words before laughter rang out between you. You shook your head. "Mano, what are you on about?"

"Él necesita conocer a tus padres antes de que puedas casarte." (He needs to meet your parents before you can get married).

Your eyes widened. "Married?!" Lando's eyes widened at your words. "Who said anything about getting married?"

"No one, I'm just putting it out there."

You and Lando glanced at each other again, shaking your heads. Lando placed a hand on Carlos' shoulder before saying, "Don't worry mate, we'll do it the old fashioned way. I promise."

You blushed at Lando's words that implied that he would want to marry you.

Carlos leaned over and whispered something into Lando's ear. You watched the emotions on Lando's face go from shock to fearful, then joy. He then gave you both one last look, smile on his face, before returning to the celebrations.

"What did he say to you?"

Lando smiled, shaking his head. "Something in Spanish I couldn't understand, something like tienes bendicion?" You smiled. "Then he said 'You're already like a brother to me, but one day it will be official'."

You felt your heart clench at hearing those words. Carlos really said that? "He said 'you have my blessing'."

Lando eyes widened at hearing the translation, mouth agape. "Oh, wow." Lando's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "If you would've told me Carlos said that a few years ago, I would've never believed you."

"Me too." The two of you shared a laugh. You returned your hands back around his neck. There was a glint in both of your eyes; the promise of the future shining bright. "I'm so in love with you, it's insane."

Lando pulled you closer by your hips at your words. "After all this time, I can't believe you're mine. Feels like a dream; I hope I never wake up."

Despite being in a loud club, it felt like it was just you and Lando in that moment. You smiled at each other, before more celebratory yelling could be heard from your friends and family around you. Lando took your hand in his, tilting his head forward, "C'mon, if I'm going to be a part of this family one day, let's all celebrate together."

yourusername and landonorris posted

liked by carlossainz55, maxfewtrell, yourbestfriend, oscarpiastri, iamrebeccad, mclaren, and others

yourusername and landonorris my whole entire heart

view all comments

user1 oh i'm crying!!!!

carlossainz55 ❤️

maxfewtrell before she was your girlfriend you were insufferable pining over her...and now it's the same but somehow worse

yourbestfriend wait no same for y/n like it's actually INSANEEEE yourusername 🖕😃 landonorris 🖕😃 maxfewtrell happy for you though mate for real ❤️ yourbestfriend same <3 love this for you

yoursister love seeing you so happy 🧡 (you get the orange heart from me today only)

landonorris 😂 I'm honored

user2 lany/n joint post...suddenly my skin is clear, the sun is shining, I hear birds chirping...

flonorris1 🥰🥰🥰

yourusername I can't wait to see you soon 😁 flonorris1 same!!

oscarpiastri yeah I guess you guys are pretty cute...

a/n: thank you for reading if you made it this far <3 again I loveeee this concept/universe so if you have lil blurb or smau requests lmk :) happy holidays everyone!

taglist:  @npcmia @tinyhrry @that-one-little-soybean @a-beaverhausen @mxdi0 @scorpiodiosa @dripostsstuff @maddja @thegirlamongthestars @flrboyd @saythename-sm @landossainz

@mysteryenchatress @plotpal @jule239 @avni-sarai @hangingwiththestars @nxk1309 @amberpanda99 @littlegrapejuice @castellandiangelo @fastfactory @awritingtree @ems-alexandra @lilypat

[thewinter-eden]

That Your Man? - pt III

pairing: Lee Minho x fem!reader rating: mature, dark themes, smut summary: mugger!Minho is your boyfriend now. A client at the cat boarding facility becomes a problem. This one is just for fun. On a slower posting schedule than Chan’s Crack!Horror.

warnings: Mature. MDNI. First smut.

Word Count: ~4k

series info PART 2 INFO

< last part

“I swear, some of these people.” San drops his head into his hands, groaning at the computer screen. “This woman has emailed and called once a day for a week and a half asking if she can drop off her cat earlier than her reservation.”

You lean over his shoulder to peer at the email he’s pulling his hair out over. “Kiri’s owner? Yeah she yelled at me on the phone yesterday and then hung up on me.” You snort and put a fresh coffee down at San’s elbow. “Just copy and paste yesterday’s response to her. That’s what I do.”

He does as you suggest, already nodding. “I’ve been doing that. But still it’s this ‘hasn’t anyone cancelled yet? We have to be out of town by Friday’. Like, lady, this is what happens when you book your boarding after you make travel plans. That’s not my fault.”

“She yelled at you?” Minho appears around the corner, bearing his usual Wednesday box of donuts. “Mrs. Kim?”

You lean back in your chair, rolling her eyes. “She threw a fit at me about not taking care of loyal customers and not understanding the value of good money and her obvious emergency for needing this change to her reservation, and then when I did the whole ‘I’m sorry, but we’re booked solid’ routine, she fucking growled at me and hung up.”

Minho’s calm eyes slide to San. “Has she done that to you?”

He nods with a grumble. “Two days ago. Literally screamed into the phone. I think she threw something. Lady’s off her meds.”

Minho puts the box down. “Scoot.”

San scrambles obediently out of the chair, leaning over the back of yours to watch as Minho slips into his spot at the computer and opens a responding email.

He types rapidly without even blinking.

‘Mrs. Kim. Due to unfortunate circumstances surrounding the handling of Kiri’s upcoming stay at Wayward Street, we are unable to honor your reservation. I have cancelled your booking and attached an invoice for the return of your deposit. If you have any questions, please view our policy (attached) or contact me directly. We will also be unable to meet your boarding needs in the future. Kiri is a delightful guest and we will be sorry to see her go.

Thank you for understanding,

Lee Minho

Owner.’

“Damn.” San whistles lowly, watching Minho send the email with all necessary attachments and place a big red flag on Mrs. Kim’s client profile. “Cold as ice, boss.”

Minho pushes back from the computer and gets up. “When she calls—and she will—kindly give her my phone number and hang up. Also give her my phone number in her next email. There are other, commercial, boarding facilities who can deal with the headache of disrespectful clients.”

San retakes his place in the chair, shooting you an impressed grin. “Thank God. That poor sweet cat was on so many meds—it takes a whole thirty extra minutes just to administer her Sub-Q.”

Minho snags a donut from the box and pats your head fondly as he disappears around the corner to peek in on each of his kitty guests.

San’s stare turns shocked. “Did he just…”

You smirk. “Jealous? Gimme a donut.”

He passes you the whole box, mouth still open dumbly. “Are you two…”

“What?” You blink innocently.

It’s only been two weeks that you’ve officially been dating Minho, and to this point you have avoided any public announcements or affections in order to experience your budding relationship without interference.

San shakes his head, like he’s convinced he imagined it. “Nothing.” He turns back to the computer. “Now that that human migraine is gone, I can book my perfect precious baby Bobae for next week—” he navigates to the next email in the inbox. “My pretty wittle itty bitty Bo—nope, here’s Mrs Kim again. Goddammit.”

You’re cackling as the offending email appears on the screen with a ding!

It’s riddled with obscenities in all caps, only spurring on your laughter as San groans at the borderline death threats from the unhinged former client.

“Attach our policy page again and give her my number.” Minho calls from somewhere at the front of the building. “Mark her as spam.”

Your laughter pauses. “Oh, should we do that? What if she sues? Don’t we want to keep records?”

San shakes his head dismissively. “We don’t delete the spam folder. It’s backed up to our server. We’ll have anything she continues to send if we need it.” He fires off a curt response with all the necessary information and sends her firmly to spam. “Now back to Bobae.”

You leave him to deal with admin, collecting your coffee and joining Minho at the front. “Morning,” you greet warmly, peering into a room where he’s scratching a little tabby behind the ears.

Your boyfriend glances up at you with a smile that is nothing short of fond, standing to join you in the hallway.

A warm, lingering kiss presses to your lips, his fingers curling around your hips. “Good morning.” A breath against your face.

“Sleep well?” You press another soft kiss to his lips, a smile putting an ache in your cheeks when he squeezes you tightly.

“Oh my god.”

You startle away from Minho, glancing over your shoulder to see San’s head poking around the corner, gaping at you.

Minho rolls his eyes and sighs. “So much for blissful secrecy.” He runs a hand up your waist and steps away from you to grab a broom. “Stop leering, Choi San.”

“Are you guys dating?” San hoots, wheeling the chair into the hallway so he can face you head on. “Oh my god, finally! I knew it. You guys are so—”

“You’re about to be sent home.” Minho grumbles emptily, slipping back into the tabby’s room to clean.

San presses his lips together but his face turns red with barely restrained delight.

He’s practically vibrating.

“Would you chill?” You laugh at him, kicking his chair out of your way so you can start on the rooms at the back. “You look ridiculous.”

He jumps up to follow you, hulking frame bumping into the shelf that holds all of the kitty carriers. “When did it happen? Who asked who out? Oh my god, I knew you guys were into each other. He’s been so much smilier since you started working here, I just knew—”

“Choi San!” Minho snaps, but there’s only embarrassment in his tone.

San’s voice lowers to a thrilled whisper. “How long have you been dating?”

You’re still snickering, shoving him out of your way and barely gaining any ground against the sheer bulk of him looming behind you. “Dude, move. You’re gonna get us both fired.”

“Oh no.” San chuckles, leaning against the wall to give you space to work. “He won’t fire you. Not now that you’re in love. He may fire me—oh shit, he may fire me. I’m going back to the computer.”

The rest of the shift flies by quickly, punctuated by San’s bobbing eyebrows every time you happen to meet Minho’s eyes and the recurrence of your boyfriend smacking him upside the head whenever he pauses his work to gaze at the two of you like he’s watching a beloved child grow up and get married.

When he finally gets ushered out of the building at end of shift, departing with a playful wink at the two of you, Minho turns to you with a flat expression. “He’s exhausting.”

“He’s cute.” You return easily.

Minho’s eyebrows lift in disbelief. “He’s cute?” He steps closer, crowding into your space with a dangerous smirk. “He’s cute?”

Your feet stumble back, but he just follows. “Like a puppy. Or a kitten.” Your heart is exploding in your chest.

Minho crowds you against the wall but doesn’t move to touch you. “He’s insufferable.”

“It’s cute though.”

His arms cage you on either side. “Say that again.” Low, playful, warning. Eyes glinting with dangerous fire.

“Sannie’s just—”

You don’t get to finish. His fingers tangle in the edges of your shirt, jerking you to his chest, lips crashing against yours with vindictive heat.

“Sannie?” He mumbles against your mouth.

“He’s just excited—”

Minho nips at your lower lip, fingernails biting into your back. Your hands fly to his chest, a sharp gasp at his feverish touch.

“My girlfriend,” a bite to your lip. “Is not seriously,” a nudge that pushes your head back. “Talking about my employee,” a hot kiss to your throat. “Being fucking cute.”

“Sannie is cute.” You pant, fingers tangling in his hair.

Thank God the facility is closed and the door locked.

“He can’t help it, it’s just who he is.”

Your persistent comments do not go unpunished. Minho backs you firmly against the wall, one hand lifting to thread through your hair and grip tightly, angling your head further back. He’s everywhere, trailing wet kisses and nips down your throat, over your collarbones, pressing in so close you feel every bit of him against you.

“Keep talking about him.” He breathes, sucking harshly at a spot on your shoulder that your shirt covers when he lets go. “See what happens.”

You want nothing more than to see what happens.

“He’s happy for us. It’s adorable.”

He’s gone.

Cold air from the overhead fan seeps into your skin where he was, and you’re reeling from the loss of contact.

Still panting, eyes wide and blinking, you find your boyfriend across the room, pushing his arms into his jacket and snatching your purse off the hook. “Minho, what—”

He takes your hand with a softness that contradicts the hard set of his jaw, the fierce determination in his eyes. Minho presses one more searing kiss to your lips, and then locks his gaze with yours. “You asked for this.” He reminds you with a rasp.

And then he’s tugging you out the door.

You don’t even get a chance to take in his apartment before he’s tossing your purse to the table and yanking the zipper of your jacket down. “Tell me to stop.” He mumbles against your lips. “We’ll go to lunch.” His hands push the jacket off your shoulders, down your arms. “Perfectly respectable. Anywhere you wanna go.”

You can’t even think about lunch.

Your fingers are clenched in his shirt, beckoning him closer, thighs pressing close together as he holds you against him. “Fuck lunch.”

It’s all he needs.

Your shirt is gone, on the floor at your feet, his hands coasting up the bare skin of your back. He kisses you, firm and slow as his fingers hook under the band of your bra. “I want to see you,” he whispers, and then he’s moving backwards, pulling you with him. “Will you let me see you?”

Your hands push at his chest and he lets you go abruptly, heaving with ragged breaths. His eyes are hungry, following your movements as you work your clasp, and then the garment slides off your arms.

Top half bare, exposed, you stand before him, cheeks hot, waiting.

Minho stares at you. From the fluttering of your lashes, to the glistening of your lips, to your bare chest, to the softness of your stomach. He’s memorizing, writing you into his brain, hands trembling as he reaches for you.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, catching your lips in another kiss. Soft, loving, tasting. Hot hands trace up your sides, thumbs brushing the swell of your breasts, palms dragging across your back. “Beautiful.”

You melt into his touch, skin tingling under his hands, heart racing. “Minho.” You grip his shirt again. “Minho, please.”

He pushes you down to the couch, crowding down over you, the heat of his body blazing against your naked chest. His tongue traces your bottom lip and you let him in, thighs clenching as he groans into your mouth.

You’re working the buttons of his shirt blindly. His hips push against you and you feel him, hard through his jeans. His fingers tighten around your waist at your moan, and he leans back with a start, yanking his shirt off over his head.

Minho’s hands land on your hips and drag down your thighs over your jeans, panting as he stares down at you with that heavy gaze.

You’re tracing the lines of his chest, fingertips pressing into the contours of his stomach, watching his eyelids flutter at your touch. It’s not the first time things between you have gotten heated, but to this point it’s been limited to a hot and heavy kiss, palms pressing over your clothes, a trail of bruises down the exposed parts of your clothed chest—nothing like this.

Nothing so vulnerable.

Nothing so raw.

You’ve never seen him like this, panting over you, staring down at you like he’s seconds away from consuming you where you lay.

Your fingertips brush over the button of his jeans, and he flinches. “Jagi,” He groans, bending low over you and pulling your mouth to his again. “You drive me crazy.”

He’s moving before you can answer, mouth hot over your chest, tongue tracing over the ridges of your collarbones, and you feel the button of your own jeans come undone under his hands. The denim loosens around your hips, scraping your skin as he pushes down, never once lifting his mouth from your chest.

“Big bad robber,” You tease with a gasp, feeling his teeth nip at the top of your breast in punishment, hands wrenching the jeans past your thighs with a final tug. “You’re not so scary.”

Minho’s eyes lift from your body, meeting yours with a treacherous smirk. His hands are tracing the undersides of your thighs, pressing into the soft flesh, a moan sinking into the curve of your breast. “Scary isn’t exactly what I’m going for, jagiya.” His fingers curl around the bend of your knees, yanking you flush against him, only your underwear and his jeans between you.

His sinful gaze lights up at the flushed hue of your cheeks, your hands flying to his shoulders as wetness pools between your thighs.

“Minho, stop teasing me.” You’re reaching for him, but he doesn’t let you grasp the waistband of his own pants, instead interlocking your fingers and pressing your hands into the couch at your ears.

“You want to be teased.” He tugs your earlobe between his teeth. “You’re begging for it. Aren’t you?”

A shiver rushes over you. You try to catch his lips, but he pulls back. A frustrated groan scrapes up your throat. “Minho.”

He laughs softly, tongue darting out to lick a hot stripe right between your breasts. “I finally have you in my hands, Jagi.” He whispers against your skin. “I’m going to enjoy it.”

You’re trapped beneath his hands, his hips wedged firmly between your thighs, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Not that you want to. He rolls his hips against you again, and a rush of sensation explodes behind your eyes.

When you let out a cry, frustration and arousal mixing in a ragged breath, he releases your hands and taps a wet kiss against your lips. “You sound so pretty like this.” His nose bumps against yours. “I could listen to you all day, Jagiya.” A kiss to your chin, then to your throat. “My jagiya.” A squeeze of your breasts, soft and careful. “My jagi.” A gentle bite to the center of your stomach. “Mine.”

“Minho.” You beg. Your head is full of him, the thrill of his touch clouding your senses, your hips lifting to beg for friction. You’re rewarded by his hands at your waist, tightening around your sides, a firm kiss to your pelvic bone over your panties.

“We can go to lunch, jagi.” He whispers. “Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me you want to wait.”

“No.” You bite out through clenched teeth. “Please, Minho, I want you.” You want this. You need this. He’s torturing you, and based on the sly curve of his lips, he’s enjoying it.

He unfastens his pants, shifts his weight to shuck them off, and then it’s just you and him. Boxers, panties, hot skin, heaving lungs. Your eyes flick down, escaping the sudden longing in his gaze that makes you feel so much more naked than you already are, feeling the callouses of his palms holding the meat of your thighs on either side of his hips.

Your fingers curl around the elastic of his boxers, glancing to him once more for final decision, and at the openness of his expression you push down until he’s bare, pressing against your clothed core.

He groans, falling down against you, and braces himself on his arms. “My girl.” He whispers. “My beautiful girl. Let me have you?”

Your fingers cup his jaw, tilting his head up to meet your eyes. He’s an enigma of alternating put-on arrogance and desperation, staring at you with a devotion that shakes you. He would tease you until you fell apart, but he won’t take a thing you don’t give him. You kiss him. Gently. Softly. “Please, baby. Please.”

His eyes flash, dangerous light sending a thrill straight to your core.

“I want to taste you,” Minho whispers, hands tightening around your hips. “I want to watch you come apart. I want to take my time with you.” His breath cascades over your face, hips rolling over yours, the heat of his bare length pressing against your panties. “But this time,” His face falls to your throat, leaning there like he can’t even hold himself up anymore. “I want to feel you around me first.”

You don’t care. You don’t need any more foreplay. Not this time. Not when he’s been lighting you on fire since the moment he pulled you into his apartment. You just want him, and you want him now. “Please fuck me, Minho. Please, baby.”

He groans, hips thrusting against you again. “You sound so pretty, jagi. Begging for me already.” His teeth close around your shoulder, hands tugging your panties down.

Minho guides himself to your core, pushing in with a hiss between his teeth.

Stars explode behind your eyes, thick, hot pressure throbbing against him, a whimper falling off your lips. “Minho—go slow—please, Minho—”

“I got you, jagi.” His brow rests on your temple, littering gentle kisses over your cheek. “I’ve got you, breathe for me.”

You clutch at him, sucking in a bracing breath at the combating pain and pleasure that sends tremors through your body. It’s not your first time, not remotely, but it’s a slow stretch all the same that leaves you gasping.

He pushes in carefully, fighting your tight resistance, giving you time to adjust. Your back arches at the feeling of suddenly being full, of feeling him everywhere. His arms band around your waist, settling himself flush against you with a soft groan. “I’ve got you, jagi.”

It’s so much.

It’s so much all at once, to be surrounded by him like this. You’re gasping against him as he kisses you, catching your cries with tender caresses of his lips. “My jagi,” Minho moans into your mouth, waiting, still.

When your hips roll against him, searching for more, he grips you tight.

He moves with you, thrusting in with a slow pull that drags another whimper out of you.

“You’re mine,” He rasps against your throat, teeth scraping the dip of your clavicle. “Mine.” A thrust that rocks your entire body. “My beautiful girl.”

Your nails bite into his arms braced around your head, soft pants whispering against his hair. “Yours,” your eyes close, his hips grinding heavily against yours. “All yours, Minho.”

When you’re spent, floating blissfully in the calm after the storm, lying pressed together on the couch, tangled like you’ll never come apart, his phone rings. He finds his phone in the couch cushions where it fell out of his jeans pocket at some point, turning the screen to find the automated caller ID read “Kim Sooyoung.”

He drops it on the floor with an irritated huff. “Goddammit.”

You snicker against his chest, tracing your fingers up his ribs with playful lightness. “So, about lunch.”

to be continued

tag list: @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @estella-novella @babyphotos0325 @softfor-svtptg @furfoxsake22 @tubelightanyaa @kayleefriedchicken @rockstarkkami @sp1derst0rrr @eastjonowhere @its-stayville-forever @allenajade-ite @naraportokala @jinniejjam @blackberryrains @feetoffthemalfoy @highandalive @scarlet789 @ramadiiiisme @thecutiepieme @lemonn015 @darlingsoulbeautifulthoughts @dreamingartist13 @ebnabi @bangtan-sonyeondamn8 @lemonn015 @thepoeticpurplepotato @brbwritingfanfic @skzlover24 @stephanieeeyang @my-neurodivergent-world @xgridx @igotajuicyass @annovaz @robinnotgood24 @butterflybananabread @tirena1 @nougatjade @wickedbutlovely @justiceforvillains @beewilko @nougatjade @ellelabelle @qwonyoung23 @hwangjoanna @inlovewithstraykids @igotajuicyass

[sirfrogsworth]

Clinging to sanity

Summary of this post...

My brain is broken. My A/C is broken. My phone is broken. My computer is broken. My support system is broken. My financial stability is broken. My family is broken.

And the big finale...

Please give Froggie a Yelp review to repair his relationship with his estranged uncles.

Seriously, I need a whole bunch of you to say nice things about me in a convoluted plan to get back the money my brother stole from my dying father.

If you don't feel like reading all of my broken stuff and just want to read about giving me a good review as a person, you can skip to the bullet point list at the end.

Alright, here we go...

I sometimes get in these states where I feel like my sanity is compromised. My mental defenses are minimal and I lose the filter on my brain that tells me "this is a good idea" or "this is a bad idea."

This causes me to say embarrassing things. I overshare with strangers. I keep myself from falling asleep because I have some amazing idea. But when I wake up in the morning I can't believe I lost all of that sleep for such a ridiculous idea. I write weird posts that no one likes. Or I post about controversial subjects like A.I. and trans people and RFK Jr. that I *know* will result in contentious feedback.

And my insane brain says, "You can handle it! Besides, you are so factually correct about this, no one will dare question your meticulous research. IT'S ALL GOOD! SEND IT, YOLO!"

I have a rule. If I am not emotionally or mentally prepared to defend my point of view on a controversial subject, I should wait until I am ready to publish.

Insane Froggie Brain ignores this rule.

After I "send it" and the negative feedback starts to flow in (even though I was assured by my brain it wouldn't), I become afraid to look at messages and replies and reblogs. And a lot of times I need that sense of community. I need to talk to my cool little community so I don't feel lonely. But Insane Froggie Brain cuts me off from that. I give myself all of this anxiety that could have been avoided by just posting another time.

And because I have no emotional defenses, that anxiety is amplified. Mean comments hurt much more. I obsess over them and my OCD causes thought feedback loops where I cannot get something out of my brain. I once couldn't sleep for a weekend because someone said I was wrong about how light reflects off the moon. They were right and I was also right but they said I was "misleading." And that just lived in my brain for days. I kept trying to think of new ways to better explain my point of view. I used up energy I didn't really have to take pictures of a baseball in a dark closet.

It was silly. It didn't matter. It was just a small disagreement. But OCD doesn't do small. OCD makes everything BIG.

What I'm trying to say is...

People need their emotional defenses.

People need their filters.

It's weird because I still have full access to my logical brain. So sane thoughts get all mixed in with the less sane ones. Sometimes I am self aware and can shut down the less sane ideas. Other times I am oblivious. And I *hate* losing control of my brain in any way. It's one of the reasons I've never touched alcohol. Which is why I get very disturbed when this happens.

I remember one time I was positive I was going to move to Florida and start a pet photography business. I had an entire business plan worked out where I trained people how to take the photos so the business could run itself if I got sick. I made an entire PowerPoint presentation to show Katrina so she would be my business partner. I was looking up rent prices for office space. I was making equipment lists for camera gear. She was going on a trip so she told me I could talk to her about it when she returned. And I am so lucky she wasn't available at the time.

Maybe if I had a normal person's energy, I could make something like that work. But once I returned to sanity, I realized it was orders of magnitude more complicated than anything I was actually capable of doing. I am still planning to do pet photography, but I have to come up with a more reasonable plan that does not involve Insane Froggie Brain.

I think it is just my ambitious mind trying to escape. Chronic illness is often heartbreaking because you have to temper all of your ambitions. And it is especially devastating when you are a very ambitious person, as I am.

I want to have all of these big ideas. But I have to filter them through reality. And when that filter is broken, I just unleash big ideas on all my friends. I once even held an official video chat meeting and we took notes and made plans. And I feel so guilty I wasted 4 people's time like that. None of those ideas happened. They had no chance of happening with my energy levels. But my friends and collaborators still did the meeting and nodded along like everything was fine. I appreciate them humoring me.

I also overshare. I overshare normally, but when I get like this I OVER SHARE. You are probably going to witness it in this very post. But I tell everyone everything about what is going on. I tell strangers. I tell a dog walking by.

"Hey doggie, my testosterone is returning and I'm struggling with having a libido again. I know most people would not complain, but it is very disruptive to my day! I have other things I want to do!"

Right now I am just not confident in anything I think or do. I wrote a post about social constructs yesterday. That literally took me all day to write. I was endlessly tweaking it and I thought it was going to be viral and helpful and win the trans debate for everyone.

It currently has 49 notes.

I'm afraid I did not fix trans rights.

Sorry about that.

And my rant about Christopher Nolan using IMAX is doing pretty well. I nerded out about film grain for like 2 paragraphs and it is getting way more notes than a philosophical perspective on constructs.

I just have no idea what people are going to like and I used to be pretty good at judging that. It's like I'm throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks but instead of a wall I'm throwing it into the void. The spaghetti just disappears into infinite darkness.

I'm clearly still recovering from the big house clean with Katrina. And I am more tired than normal. But I am also very stressed about losing the house. I'm trying to figure it out, but I may only have until the end of June before I have to make some scary decisions.

And also, my air conditioner is not working. It has a leaky evaporator. Last year, I had it recharged and that lasted the entire summer. If the leak is leaking at the same rate, I could just do that again. It would be expensive, but replacing the evaporator is so costly, I'd be better off getting a heat pump installed. I'm a good candidate, it could save me money in the long run, but I am nowhere near in a position to make that happen.

Also, my phone is falling apart.

Literally. The only thing keeping it together is the phone case.

And this laptop, which I love, was not meant to be my main computer. I bought it when my dad was sick and I needed something upstairs to manage his prescriptions and bills and appointments. It wasn't meant to be an image editing machine. And, to their credit, Apple has made a crazy powerful little computer. I admit it, I love an Apple product. It can handle way more than expected. But my photo restorations can sometimes end up with 5 gigabyte files. I can't even save them as PSDs. I have to use this weird "PSB" format. It stands for "Photoshop Big." When I fill up the RAM, my computer uses the main SSD. And when I fill that up, I think I can hear the laptop crying and saying, "I wasn't meant for this! Please use fewer layers!"

But I need to finish restoring these photos because I have delayed their completion by about 5 months (got sick before I could finish). And also because I need to pay for the A/C recharge.

You might be thinking, "Didn't you fundraise to get the big fancy powerful computer of your dreams a few years ago? Why don't you use that?"

My big fancy computer has been broken almost since I got it.

It was right before my mom got really sick and there is a major hardware problem. I worked with tech support for over a month and we could not figure out what the issue was. The computer is mostly unusable. Like, "can't even web browse" unusable.

It honestly has caused me so much depression. Like deep, deep, crying-myself-to-sleep-for-weeks depression. I still cry about it. I know it is just a thing, but I am genuinely heartbroken about it.

Why haven't I fixed it? I'm a good computer fixer, right?

Once I had to take care of my parents, I just did not have any extra energy to deal with it. After a month of back-and-forth emails from the manufacturer, I finally told them, "I'm sorry, my parents are sick. I will email you when I have the energy to revisit this."

If you know my story and how I took care of my parents all alone because I have a neglectful brother, then you can probably guess that energy never came.

I am good at tech support. I have been an expert in computers since I was a teenager. I have taken apart and built computers more times than I can count. I have never had a problem this frustrating before. It works fine for a few hours, and then it just progressively slows down to being unusable. I narrowed the issue to either the SSD, the CPU, or the motherboard. All things that are not easy to replace. (The SSD is behind the damn GPU.)

In the 30s, the Royal Air Force used to have issues with their planes that baffled them. This is where the term "gremlin" came from. No matter what they did, no matter how many parts they replaced, they could not get the "gremlin" out of the plane. These were professional mechanics who just could not fix something and it drove them nuts.

I have a computer gremlin. I've never experienced anything like it in all of my years of fixing computers. I was working with professional tech support people. I was on reddit forums. And the only thing left to do was start swapping out parts. I'd work on it maybe an hour each day with whatever energy I had and it eventually was too much. I just could not deal with it. They told me to send it back, but I could not take care of my parents without any access to a computer. So I just rebooted it every time I used it.

At that point, my parents were requiring 24/7 care and I was so overwhelmed that I said, "fuck it" and ordered this laptop. I figured I'd fix the computer when I had time or energy. But that time and energy never came. And I certainly didn't have the energy to haul a 60 pound computer upstairs, box it up, and then take it to UPS. So I just kept putting it off and putting it off.

And I let the warranty expire.

When I realized I did that, I cried myself to sleep for another few weeks. This material object has caused me legitimate emotional trauma.

Any part replacements are now on me. And there isn't really any way of knowing which part is faulty. I figured I'd buy a cheap SSD and start there.

I feel so fucking guilty because people donated money for me to have that machine. I feel like I let them all down by not getting it fixed. When I finish my recovery, I'm hoping I can sort it out. But that could be many months from now.

Recovery has been such a dark, lonely place. Trying to restore my health a millimeter at a time is a grueling marathon of misery. I have been struggling to keep Insane Froggie Brain at bay this entire time.

I felt like I was stuck in a hole.

And like a superhero with the power of friendship and puns, Katrina pulled me out of the giant hole I was in. My house turned into a biohazard. She flew from Florida to essentially clean and organize everything. How do you even begin to thank someone for that?

But also, she shouldn't have had to do that. I have a perfectly functional brother. But he hasn't spoken to me for nearly a year now.

I have other family in town. But I missed so many family gatherings over the years, they don't really know me. None of them have called. I'd have to rebuild those relationships if I want them to be a part of my life again.

And I haven't talked about this yet because it has been too painful.

But... my support system fell apart.

My aunt had to move away to take care of her father-in-law. A year before my mom passed she took care of my grandma as her end-of-life caregiver. And people should only have to do that once. But she has to do it again, and unfortunately, we haven't been able to speak much.

We were very good at keeping in touch in real life. But she is of an older generation and has trouble maintaining relationships on a smartphone. I mean, I get it. Some people are just better at meatspace than cyberspace. That was actually one of the things I liked about our bond. Almost all of my friendships are online. Having someone who liked to visit me and talk to me in person was special.

But, for the time being, I lost that. And it feels a bit like temporarily losing another parent.

I am struggling to even start writing the words for this next part.

I had two best friends. Katrina and I are great. Our friendship is probably better than it has ever been.

But my other best friend of nearly 15 years ghosted me without explanation.

I haven't talked about it because it has been too hard. Any time I try to think about it I get upset. My eyes are filling up with tears as I type this.

I have been pretending like it isn't happening.

Which is not working great.

I've been trying to hire a therapist.

They all have months-long waiting lists.

My friend just stopped talking to me and I don't know why.

They went from driving across the country and holding my hand at my dad's funeral to just not being a part of my life.

I'm so scared I said something terrible or did something terrible. I keep going through all of my memories trying to figure out what I could have done. But we had the kind of friendship where we'd talk about that stuff. If I screw up, they would tell me. We'd work it out.

This person who was in my life nearly every week for over a decade is just not there anymore. I keep losing people and I can't make it stop. And I am really worried that I am leaning on Katrina too much. She went from being part of a multifaceted support system to my entire support system. That isn't fair to her.

She has been very understanding. And she knows I am going to rebuild a support system as soon as I am able. But I don't want to overwhelm her and lose her too.

Weaning off this medication and living with no testosterone has been so miserable and she has been the only one helping me through it.

I'm doing so well with my recovery. I think I can be off the meds in 3 months and hopefully my testosterone will be fully back in range. I'm already more productive than I have been in nearly 8 months.

But I have 1 month of financial runway left and I am not going to get well enough before then.

Everything happens all at once. Every single time. And usually terrible things happen in my life at the same time terrible things happen in Katrina's life. She had terrible mold that destroyed her health for months. Thankfully it did not turn her transphobic, but it sure fucked her health for a while. She made all of this progress getting fit and healthy and BAM, the universe says, "You are doing too well, you need a challenge!"

So, what is my plan?

I am a problem solver and I have some doozies to solve.

Right now I am going to appeal to the family patriarchs on my dad's side. On his literal deathbed, my dad asked his brothers to "take care of me" and I am going to attempt to call in that favor.

I am going to ask them to talk to my brother and hopefully mediate a solution regarding the stolen inheritance. I want them to convince my brother to do the right thing and return the money he took from my dad.

Sorry, the money he "legally inherited" due to his wife "reinterpreting my dad's wishes" in the will.

Before you ask, I have no options to fight this in court. A verbal promise is not enough to overturn a written will. And the cost of fighting would be more than the inheritance. Please don't suggest any legal advice. I've talked to good lawyers. And unless I want to sue for emotional distress, there aren't any legal options available.

The best option is to appeal to my brother personally and ask him to keep his promise to my dad.

The only reason I am in this mess is because my brother repeatedly promised to give me the money. He said he didn't want it on multiple occasions. So all of my plans involved the expectation of this money. I was going to fix up the basement apartment and seek a roommate.

But it took over a year to just get it out of probate. A year I could have used to come up with other solutions. But he waited until the last minute and made his lawyer tell me he was screwing me.

I'm sure my brother will argue my dad knew what he was signing. But I know that is impossible. Before my dad passed, we were in the hospital and I saw the will for the first time. I asked him if it reflected his wishes. And I asked him if he meant to include my brother's wife in the will.

His response was, "Are you fucking kidding me???"

Readers, does that sound like a man that knew what was in his will?

Dad was so upset that he was about to have them cut off his leg just so he could live a few more weeks and fix the will.

You have to give my dad credit, he goes pretty hardcore when it comes to protecting his family.

I couldn't let him go through an amputation to protect me from my brother's shenanigans.

But I am pretty screwed now.

That said, my uncles are pretty hardcore too. One is *very* intimidating. So I feel like my uncles talking to my brother might carry some weight.

But I have one problem...

I mean, aside from the myriad problems already described.

How about... I have one additional problem...

My uncles don't like me very much.

They think I am a basement-dwelling loser who is faking his illness and was taking advantage of his parents for two decades.

One uncle even accused me of stealing from my dad.

They are protective of their brother. They loved my dad. Which is a good thing! As long as I can convince them that their assumptions about me are invalid, I think their love for my dad will compel them to help me.

They just don't have the context. They don't know me. They live in far-off lands. And due to some unfortunate timing, one uncle saw me at one of the lowest points of my life. This was maybe 8 years ago? He didn't realize I was thrown into the deep end and very recently took on the role as full-time caregiver for two very sick people.

My awful strategy at the time was "if I don't take care of myself, I'll have more energy to take care of my parents." If you are a caregiver, this is a bad strategy. It seems obvious you have to do some self care to give care to others, but when you are just starting out, that seems impossible.

My uncle showed up unannounced and I wasn't showered, I hadn't brushed my teeth in a week, and my room had a fun layer of trash on the floor. The trash can was overflowing and I literally did not have the spare energy to change the bag.

To make matters worse, my mom's medications and constant pain had broken the filter in her brain that prevents her from saying mean things. She was on this crazy chemo-like infusion that was basically using poison to fight her psoriatic arthritis. Her aggressive, blunt remarks were not her fault. That wasn't who she was. But she could not stop herself from saying hurtful things.

The kindest woman alive was suddenly Don Rickles without the "just kidding" subtext. And my uncle didn't know this and I got into an argument with my mom.

I probably looked like a pampered brat loser who just lies in bed and plays video games all day while arguing with his saint of a mother.

I don't blame him. Without context, that's exactly what it looked like.

So I am writing my uncles a letter.

It is essentially a memoir of the caregiving I gave to my parents. I hope to publish it publicly at some point, but right now it is just a letter to them. If it were a typical hardcover book, it would be about 70 pages long.

I am telling them everything.

If nothing else, I just need them to know my dad's story. I need them to know he was well taken care of. That I did everything humanly possible to make his last year as comfortable as I could. I need them to know he was *never* alone.

Sadly, because they probably think I am an unreliable narrator, I am my own worst witness. So I am asking 3 people in my current support system to write testimony to verify everything in my memoir is accurate. I even have a doctor's note!

It is probably insane to put this much effort into convincing my uncles to like me. But I'm pretty sure Sane Froggie Brain is behind the wheel of this endeavor. Sometimes the craziest, most desperate idea is the only option left.

Basically I am using my writing skills to try and save my Froggie butt.

I don't mean to be braggadocious, but people perusing my prose persistently pontificate that I am proficient at penning pleasing passages.

People say I write good sometimes.

And I think this memoir letter thingie is the best thing I've ever written. So I am hopeful I will deflate these dubious assumptions and tug on my uncles' heartstrings.

But there is something you all can do to help me.

A friend on tumblr is helping me edit this memoir monstrosity. And she gave me her testimonial to add to my 3 witnesses.

"I have been following The Frogman for well over a decade on his website. It was years before I learned his name was Benjamin! We all just call him Froggy. He was (and still is) one of the funniest internet guys out there. He is incredibly skilled at putting together humorous GIFs and photo sets, and his comedic writing is second to none. He regularly goes viral. Along with that, he was open and vulnerable about the toll CFS takes on him. I can attest to many folks over the years telling him that he has helped them as they dealt with their own health issues. He is so knowledgeable about so much--his posts are famous for being long, detailed, and wildly informative. And most of all, entertaining. They are a joy to read. We also followed along on his heartbreaking journey with his parents. He shared so much of them with us over the years that they felt like people we knew. It was so clear, from his long absences, how much he was doing for them. Our hearts broke when he told us his parents were no longer with us. Froggy has fans, and so did his parents. Otis, too. We love and support him and will always wish him the best."

It made me cry.

But it also felt like getting a Yelp review on... my entire deal.

And it gave me an idea.

What if I had a bunch of these as optional testimony for my uncles?

I'm not going to force them to read what a bunch of internet strangers have to say. But it could be a compelling way to prove my website antics were a serious attempt to build a livelihood for myself. My uncles were successful businessmen and respect a strong work ethic and trying to make your own way.

I was too early for monetization options like Patreon, TikTok, YouTube, and Twitch, but I ran a very successful comedy blog. If I had my 2013 success in the 2020s, I probably would've been able to retire and live off that for the rest of my life. I have several original GIFs that were downloaded tens of millions of times. Google said one of them was searched for over 100,000,000 times.

My blog was silly, but I took it seriously and I had sponsors and merch and an Otis plush.

They think what I did was like when you are at the family Christmas gathering and you ask your weird cousin what he's been up to and he says, "I run a blog about corgis from my parents' basement."

How do I relate the impact I had? They don't know what "Know Your Meme" is. They don't know what being on the front page of Reddit means. They don't know the amazing community I built. They don't know that I created one of the largest and most generous online support systems one could possibly have. I'm still alive and trying to make a life for myself because all of you continue to love and support me.

I was successful and I worked hard despite my disability.

I just had bad timing with the financial aspect of that success.

So, if you want to leave a Yelp review of The Frogman for my uncles, I'd appreciate it.

I came up with a list of things I need to prove to them. I'm just going to copy/paste the entire thing here. I'll strikethrough the ones you all probably can't speak to.

I am not a basement dwelling loser.

My website was more than a silly hobby.

I did not mooch off my parents for 20+ years.

I did not steal from my parents.

I am not the crazed, awkward mess [my uncle] witnessed.

I am disabled.

I cannot get a job.

I am a good person.

I am a likable person.

I was a good son.

I took good care of my parents.

My parents would not have been better off in a nursing home.

My parents would not have been better off moving closer to my brother.

My brother and his wife neglected and emotionally abused Mom & Dad.

My brother and his wife changed the will to benefit them against my mom & dad’s wishes.

My brother promised repeatedly the will was a mistake and I would receive the full amount.

I did not take care of my parents to “retain the house” or get money.

So, if you want to attempt to convince two elderly conservative Catholic men that my cat memes were lit, I would appreciate the help.

If you’ve been part of this community, and you’ve ever felt like I made you laugh, cry, or feel understood, a short 'review' of me as a person could mean the world.

Just remember your audience is...

Uncle #1: A stoic, but brilliant 80 year old who writes text messages like they are business emails. Complete with "Dear Ben" and "Regards, Your Uncle". He is still very sharp-minded and lucid. He thinks success is a high paying job, a house, and a family (my brother). He does not like weakness and consistently thought I should "be an adult and get a job." He is very loyal and respected my dad very much.

Uncle #2: A 60-something retired grandpa who thinks his constant dad jokes are genuinely funny. He is empathetic, but secretly judgmental. He will act like your best friend even if he doesn't care for you. He is an amazing grandpa. Very involved with his kids and their kids. He keeps every video of them getting a goal in sportsball on his phone. He will help you if you think you deserve to be helped. He is very close with Uncle #1.

So... kinda running the gamut there.

You can reblog this post or leave a reply or send a private message or email me at frogman54@gmail.com

I will be anonymizing your names for obvious reasons.

I fear my uncles might not understand why Tumblr user "PokemonAssBlaster69" is saying nice things about me.

Explaining "The Frogman" is hard enough.

Anyway, thank you in advance.

[jasminumdew]

Xavier (hare hybrid x bunny reader)

Warnings: MDNI, caught masturbation, bunny in heat, pheromones, BDSM theme, punishment, spanking, piv, squirting, everything is consented, overstimulated.

Summary: Erm…do you guys remember the time when he smacked the claw machine? Yeah, basically reader is now the claw machine.

Event host: this is my last fic for Monster Mash Event by @nanamiscocksleeve, check out other writers' works for more monster fucking contents :>

W/c: 1k

Notes: Posting this at my class so I’ll proofread it later.

Pushing the apartment door open, he lets out a sigh of relief, there’s no better feeling than being back home to his obedient little bunny. Ever since you moved in together, he hasn’t spent a single night without having you in his arms, so these last few days have been pure hell for him. There wasn’t a minute passed by without the thoughts of you flooding his mind, and now his bag’s filled with gifts for you. It must have been hard for you that he was away when your heat’s approaching, but he sure it won’t arrive for another day or two. 

His long, slender ears twitch at the familiar sound coming from your shared bedroom. He stops dead in his tracks. The pheromones can’t be this strong if you’re not in your heat already. It must be the reason why you haven’t replied to his message this morning, too busy to ease down your heat on your own. 

Standing by the door frame, he has the perfect view of you with your head buried in his pillow, grinding on a dildo right on his side of the bed to get a whiff of his pheromones. The whole room smells like your sex, along with your natural sweet citrus scent. His thick cock erects with excitement, hearing the lewd noise of your wet, tight cunt and the constant moaning from your dirty mouth. He almost had a dry orgasm when you whine his name out loud and cum hard on your pink dildo. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

His authoritative voice pulls you out of ecstasy.

You have no idea how long he’s been home, there was no sound of the door opening. And even if there had been, you wouldn’t have heard it with how noisy you were earlier. Big, big trouble ahead now. You know he’ll punish you for touching yourself without permission. You may talk him out of it if you sob and tell him that your heat was so unbearable, but he won’t forgive you easily, now that you’ve cum on your dildo. You’re only allowed to cum on his body, nowhere else.

“I’m sorry” you mumble under your breath, climbing down the bed to greet him, not daring to meet his eyes.  

“My eyes are up here, little bunny. What are you so afraid of?”

He raises your chin, locking eyes with you before biting down on your plump cheek. 

“Kneel on the bed. Now” 

You immediately follow his order without any whining, it will only make it worse. There’s no feeling you hate more than being unaware of what he’s doing behind you, completely at his mercy. You gasp when his hand grabs your bunny ears tightly to keep you looking forward. He can be kind and respectful most of the time, but so fucking mean when you act like a disobedient bunny. 

You let out a yelp when the first spank landed on your arse cheek. He doesn’t hold back, the red mark left on your skin deepens the more he puts you in your place. Your bottom feels like giving up after just a few spanks. You sob frantically, hands reaching behind to cover your ass from his relentless punishment. He lets go of your fluffy ears, only to grip your wrists behind your back. When he’s done spanking your swollen cheeks, your eyes feel like they barely have any tears left. 

“You understand why I need to do this, right darling? It’s not to my own amusement, but dirty whore like you who came without permission needs to learn her lesson”

You can only nod weakly “i’m sorry, it won’t happen again”. The slick fluid drips on your inner thighs is an embarrassing evidence of how much you're enjoying this. Your inner muscles spasm, recalling the time when he bends you over his knees, smacking you with a paddle while fingering your sweet hole. Must've been the best orgasm you've ever had.

“It better be” he pries your legs wide open. With how wet you already got, there’s no need for prepping. When he finally pushes his large cock inside your gummy wall, you nearly melt under him. 

“Does it feel good?” his tongue flicks over your earlobe, whispering his question before taking a bite. Your knees almost collapse on your drenched sheet if it’s not because of his strong arm holding around your waist, pulling you back to position. 

“Answer me, little star.”

He thrusts in slow and deep, the curve of his leaking dick teasing your sensitive spot over and over, making you cry out “Yes yes it feels good. Please, please I need to cum”

You thought he’s finally forgiven your silly mistake when he gave you his permission to let go, but oh how wrong you were. 

A cold, dry sensation touches your intimate part right after you come, and your knees almost give up when they can't stop quivering. The machine keeps its steady pace of sucking your poor swollen clit, along with his relentless pace, thrusting in and out. You cry out with your raspy voice and struggle to run away from overstimulation, his ears filled with your begging but he only laughs dryly.

“I thought you said you wanted to cum? I’m feeling generous today, after all, my pretty bun deserves to have all her needs fulfilled, am I right?” 

Your silly lil head couldn’t come up with any words before the fluids all flush out and the bed’s now soaked with your cum juice. Despite your exhaustion, the bullying doesn’t stop within just a few rounds, not when he just bought you a few new toys to play with after the trip. 

After a few hours, you finally passed out and drifted into a blissful sleep, leaving him to clean up your mess. Hopefully, your heat will fade away by morning, he couldn’t bear the thought of you dealing with it alone when he’s deep in his sleep. Or maybe you can just try and deal with the consequence later, not that he’d mind a lil disobedient.

[neptuneiris]

Cruel Summer (01/10)

Sunset's Bay

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader

summary: There are two sides to the city of Sunset's Bay, the rich who live in 'Crown's' and the poor who live in 'Black Waves'. What happens when a rich guy and a poor girl meet and inevitably fall in love? In the city where they live and with their status, that can't be possible.

words: 5.8k

series masterlist • next part

I wasn't sure about posting this but if you like the story I will continue with it, it all depends on how you receive it😬

in case you like it, I want to advance that the story will be a kind of forbidden love by the fact of rich and poor hehe and I have a lot prepared, basically everything is already written, I just need to structure it in a better way

this has only been an introduction to the world of Sunset's Bay, so I hope you enjoy it and the warnings will be added as I post the chapters if you like it🤗

so enjoy!

Sunset's Bay.

The hidden but mostly inhabited beach on the California Coast, with golden and white sands that slide into crystal clear waters of such a deep blue that it seems infinite.

According to Google, it is one of the most beautiful beaches in Northern California and where teenagers living in surrounding cities yearn to come every time a new summer begins.

Sunset and sunrise on these waters are beautiful, as they transform the horizon into a palette of vibrant colors, from warm shades of gold and pink to soft purple and the deep blue of night.

Every summer, the beach comes alive with exciting surfing tournaments, as well as Sunset's Pier, the midpoint of the beach where everyone mingles, transforms into charity events with live music, fireworks and lamp shows that illuminate the night with a mesmerizing light show.

Boat and yacht rides add a touch of sophistication to the coastal scene. This allows tourists to explore the waters beyond the beach, visit small islands up close and enjoy the serenity of the open sea.

But on top of all that, everything is meticulously maintained, most of it, like the clean, spacious beaches, adorned by palm trees swaying gently in the sea breeze.

And your favorite section, the volcanic stone cliffs that are distributed in specific locations on the beach, offering rocky walls as you sit on the seashore behind you and all around, emerging as natural guardians of the beach.

And from their heights, you can take in panoramic views of all the beauty of the landscape, encompassing the vast endless ocean and coastline to the endless horizon.

You always looked forward to coming here as a child when a new term at school ended and your mother was always willing to come and spend the vacations with your relatives, the Blackwoods.

They always welcomed you and your mother and together with your cousin Alysanne, you had an amazing summer.

Ever since you were little, you have always been tattooed with the memory of the sand on your feet, the salt air in your nostrils, the water enveloping you completely and the sun in full sunset caressing your whole face as you watched it on the horizon starting to descend on the shore of the beach with the cliffs behind you.

And now, that's all you know, a life in Sunset's and your frequent days at the beach.

Living with your aunt and uncle and Alysanne in a house big enough to also make room for you on the beach shore, this has been your home for exactly a year now.

And now summer has begun.

"Sam has sent a message."

You raise your gaze to Alysanne as you finish cleaning one of the tables.

"He says to meet him at the beach with the others in the evening. Do you want to go?"

You place a small smile on your lips.

"Sure."

"Table nine!"

You both turn your heads toward your boss, who looks at both of you as if he wants to kill you at any moment, and you quickly rush to serve the food, briefly wiping the sweat from your brow to keep working.

"Hurry up, Blackwood," Mr. Frey tells you reluctantly as you begin to pick up the orders on the tray.

You let out a long breath and glance at the clock briefly before going to serve, realizing that you will have to put up with this for four more hours and for the rest of the summer as well.

Unfortunately you and Alysanne have to work, as it has been for some months now at a seafood restaurant where the 'rich' people from this side of the city come to enjoy the delicious food.

And because of the summer, the work has increased. But that doesn't stop them both from having fun now that summer has begun.

So as soon as you and Alysanne finish your shift, you head home as soon as possible and start getting ready to meet your friends at the beach.

Previously going out and having fun was a problem for Alysanne's parents, your aunt and uncle were not the liberal type, but as soon as you both started working and helping them with the household expenses with what you could, they started to be more permissive and understanding.

And this is your home, the less ostentatious side of the city, but still genuine.

Once you join Sam and all the boys on the beach, you head for the small boat floating near the shore.

It is not a luxurious boat, much less can it be compared to a boat or yacht of the latest model, but it is a modest boat that has seen many summer seasons.

And it has taken them all to many spots on the beach and you have shared many anecdotes on it.

And as the boat glides through the calm waters, you and Alysanne enjoy the laughter and stories shared by the boys from the neighborhood, Sam, Daniel and Chase.

The three of them have been childhood friends of Alysanne's and when you came to live with her officially, she introduced you to them and now you all have formed a group of friends where you enjoy afternoons like these with Sam's boat and where you also go swimming and surfing all together.

The sea breeze caresses your faces and the sun slowly begins to descend as it paints the sky in warm golden tones, until the afternoon turns into night.

And on the beach, with a campfire in the center, the starry sky above and all together in a circle, you start burning marshmallows and drinking beer.

"And tell us..." speaks Daniel, watching you both curiously, "How about the slave life for the rich people?"

You and your cousin let out a small laugh.

"Slaves?" you repeat amused.

"Well yeah, come on, you said your boss... what's his name? Grey? Payne?"

"Frey," Alysanne corrects him.

"Yeah, that," he points to her, "He's a jerk or not?"

"And no concept of patience and prudence," you add.

"I imagine the ones who eat there are worse, no?" asks Chase.

Daniel snaps his fingers at him.

"Lannister?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. Jason Lannister has that vibe."

"I put him in the top one of the most hated, along with the Baratheons. And I have a feeling the Arryns do too, I don't know why," Daniel again looks at you both, "Right?"

"You work for them," Alysanne tells him amused, "Don't you know that?"

"Well, it's not like they can tell me much for cleaning their boats and yachts but... no–they're extremely nice, though..." he holds up his finger with a thoughtful expression, "Though I think there must be something wrong with them."

Alysanne lets out a snort.

"They're rich and live at Crown's, practically owning all the establishments on the beach just like the Lannisters, Baratheons, Tyrells and others leaving nothing for us, the poor ones, because they despise us," she says with an ironic but true tone "Of course there must be something wrong with them."

"One time one of them didn't leave me a tip," you say, remembering, "The Tyrell's."

Sam looks at you amused.

"Tips are not obligatory."

"Oh come on," you retort, with a touch of irony, "They're rich, they can have yachts and mansions, but can't they at least give me a five percent tip?"

"Yet it's not obligatory."

Everyone lets out a laugh.

"Yeah, it's not the nicest place to work and the customers aren't necessarily nice but the pay is good, after all," Alysanne says as she shrugs.

And that's true.

Even though it's not a good work environment, the necessity is what makes you not quit and endure as much as you can. Even though your aunt and uncle are taking care of you and taking responsibility for you, you know you can't continue that way forever.

You want to be independent, pay for your own things, especially you want to pay for college, but to do that, you have to work and now this is the job.

Besides it's useless to find work elsewhere when the owners are still the same; rich and arrogant. And you can't find work on your side of the city because the pay won't be much or maybe they won't even hire because they can't afford it.

But right now, being here enjoying the summer with your friends and your cousin, you allow yourself not to think about it and just continue to criticize the rich people.

And after many cans of beer, Chase picks up his guitar and you all together start singing in the most off-key and horrible way possible, laughing amongst everyone with the jokes filling the air, just like the heat of the flames and the aroma of roasting marshmallows.

"You had a party and didn't invite me!?"

Almost everyone together turns their heads unexpectedly toward the approaching outside voice laden with amusement and mild reproach.

And then they all see Cregan Stark with a huge grin and a bottle of beer in hand.

The guys soon start showing off at the mere sight of him, making jokes and greeting him with great enthusiasm, as Cregan greets them.

And you just watch Alysanne with a sly smile, amused by Cregan's sudden appearance, but of course, she quickly hides all traces of whatever her reaction is to seeing him, adjusting her expression to one of neutrality as she tries to appear disinterested.

But you know.

And you're amused at how she acts as if you don't know her.

Cregan Stark is the spoiled son of one of the wealthiest families in Sunset's, living in one of the most exclusive areas on the Crown's side.

His appearance reflects his status; brand name clothes, really expensive accessories, late model car and an attitude that denotes familiarity with luxury. However, despite his wealth, Cregan has proven to be different from other boys in his social environment.

Although he has access to all the luxuries, he does not carry with him the air of superiority and arrogance that many would expect from someone like him and that those of his class usually display.

In fact, Cregan became friends with Chase, who works for his family in the ports.

And it was Chase who introduced him to the group and although at first no one felt confident with him, Cregan instead of imposing his status, imposed a genuine and friendly demeanor that won the friendship of everyone in the circle.

Later everyone understood that he doesn't really enjoy being with people from the same environment as himself. The wealthy teenagers he usually hung out with, for the most part, were overly judgmental and arrogant.

So thanks to Chase, he found company with all of you, the guys from across the city who don't have a mansion and all the money in the world, but who are genuine and free of pretense.

Despite the looks people give Cregan for not understanding his choice of company, he deliberately ignores them. His parents don't say anything to him either, although he says they clearly prefer that he stop interact with you.

"I am deeply, intensely and extremely offended," he says expressing mock indignation, holding a hand to his chest, watching you incredulously but amused.

"Come on, man, don't get dramatic," Chase tells him giving him a friendly tap on the shoulder.

"Yeah, we're just getting warmed up," Sam encourages him.

"Besides..." says Daniel, in an exaggerated tone, "We can't send messages across the beach, us poor people have to use carrier pigeons like the olden days to get anything to you, but guess what... we're so poor we can't even afford pigeons."

Everyone lets out a laugh, enjoying Daniel's humor in implying the differences between the poor and the rich on the beach.

"Stop, seriously, why didn't you guys tell me you were doing this?" Cregan asks, taking a seat on the logs.

"I heard there's a party on your side of the beach and I figured you'd be heading over there," Chase tells him, "Which you did, didn't you?" he points to the beer in his hand.

He lets out a long breath.

"Yeah but it was pretty fucking boring."

"Boring?" you repeat incredulously, "A party with a DJ, champagne and yachts I highly doubt is boring."

"Well, not that it wasn't fun," he says looking around and observing everyone, "But I wanted this, to be with you guys, the atmosphere."

"And how did you know we were here?" asks Alysanne curious.

"I didn't exactly know," he smiles at her, "So I just decided to come and try my luck."

"Oh man, stop it or you'll make me cry," Daniel jokes, holding a hand to his heart.

"He loves us, doesn't he?" asks Sam, with a smirk.

"Yeah, he definitely loves us."

Everyone laughs and you watch discreetly as he and Alysanne start throwing their little looks at each other.

"Party with DJ and yachts? Man, if I were you, I'd be enjoying that," Sam confesses, shaking his head in a gesture of incomprehension.

"It's not big deal and people are hateful, believe me."

No one argues with him about that but you too sometimes wish you could have fun like that, have the experience of going to a beach party like the rich kids in the movies, just once.

But the time will come, someday, there are still many summers left to enjoy.

The conversation flows as the boys settle around the campfire, the warmth of the fire contrasting with the cool night breeze blowing in from the sea.

The atmosphere is filled with laughter and banter, and the relaxed beach setting becomes the perfect backdrop for a night of genuine camaraderie.

Cregan, with his carefree and genuine attitude, seems to fit right in with all fo you and that he values sincere company over superficial luxury.

And you don't know exactly how much more time passes or how many beers that Daniel brings back the theme of the rich party on the other side of the beach.

"Hey, Cregan," he says, leaning forward with a mischievous expression, "Since you're here, why don't you take us to that party? I'm sure it's not as bad as you say."

Cregan raises an eyebrow, amused but surprised.

"What?"

Something about Daniel's words clicks in everyone's head, even yours, so you quickly exchange glances with Alysanne. And Cregan notices how everyone starts to truly consider it.

"Do you guys really want to go to that party?"

"And why not?" asks Alysanne, with an grin, "I'm sure we can have fun, even if we're not part of the rich circle."

"Yeah, and besides..." adds Sam, with a persuasive tone, "It would be interesting to see what the other side of the city is like from the inside. We've never been to a party like this."

Cregan seems to think about it for a moment, looking at the boys with a mixture of doubt and amusement.

"Seriously you guys are telling me this? The rich haters?"

You shrug.

"The rich hate us too."

"And that's precisely why we want to go," Sam says, gesturing animatedly, "We want to try something different. And who knows, maybe we'll give you a good reason to have a little more fun at that party. Right, Chase?"

Everyone looks at Chase, who shrugs.

"I guess that wouldn't be bad."

"But you haven't thought this through," Cregan insists, "As soon as they see you all, they'll know you're not like them."

Everyone looks at themselves and well... he's right.

The rich, especially those who are the same age as you, have a radar to recognize someone who is just like them... or not.

But you don't blame them, since you have them too, the difference is that you don't make disgusted faces or criticize in whispers as soon as you notice.

You notice your two-piece bikini top is wrinkled and is clearly second hand, besides your worn-out sandals. Alysanne is also in the same condition as you and the boys... well, they're worse.

Sam's shirt is torn, Chase's is torn, and the clothes are visibly secondhand.

"We have better clothes at home," you tell Alysanne and she nods.

"And we take our shirts off and stay in shorts," Daniel says, in solution, "Are we at the beach or not?"

"And if something goes wrong, we can always run out and come back here," Alysanne suggests.

Everyone nods and basically watches Cregan with puppy dog eyes, hopeful that he will take you to his kind of people.

"What do you think, Cregan?"

Cregan is silent for a few seconds, his gaze sweeping over the group around him, analyzing and thinking about all the things that could go wrong. And he doesn't pass up the abandoned cat look that Daniel and Sam throw at him.

And finally, he lets out a laugh and a resigned sigh.

"All right, all right. I'll take you. But if we have a bad time, don't say I didn't warn you."

"That's what I like to hear!" exclaims Sam, raising his arms in victory.

"We won't regret it."

"We may not but the rich will."

"Thanks, Cregan," says Alysanne, patting him on the back.

You frown as you watch her gesture and also notice Cregan's confused look for a moment, but go back to watching the boys.

"Well, then let's go before I change my mind."

You put out the campfire, pick up the trash and with laughter they all very animatedly walk away from your spot on the beach, heading first towards the trash cans and then towards Cregan's car.

"You do know Cregan likes you, don't you?" you say to Alysanne, walking a little further away from the guys.

She gives you an incredulous look.

"What?"

"Oh come on and you like him too, don't deny it."

"Of course I don't."

"Of course you do."

"You're crazy."

"And you won't stand a chance if you keep treating him like just a dude."

"Oh yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

You let out a laugh, understanding that it will be difficult for her to accept and share it with you, so you give her time. The guys behind you laugh too, with the echo fading into the salty air, leaving the sea breeze and the sound of the waves behind.

The difference in locations is completely noticeable.

You leave behind the small wooden houses, the unkempt streets, the establishments where you and your friends can shop, the bicycles and old cars, to move to large neighborhoods with green grass, trees and bushes on every corner with huge luxurious houses, almost mansions with modern cars and expensive decorations.

The guys are excited and so are you, as you have never explored these sections of the beach before, which are completely exclusive and with access for the rich people.

Obviously there are entrances with booths and security guards, so Cregan's appearance alone proves he's a Stark and he's allowed in without objection.

And soon enough, you arrive at the party.

"Oh my goodness, look at this," exclaims Alysanne, wide-eyed as she takes in the scene.

"That's a Prestige F4?" asks Sam in surprise, eyeing the luxurious yacht in the distance.

"Seriously, how much money do these people have?" mutters Daniel, in shock.

"More than you'll ever have," Alysanne tells him with a smirk as you all walk onto the beach illuminated by the party lights.

"You don't know that," Chase replies to her, pretending to be offended, "Maybe someday I'll get rich and buy one of those," he points to the yachts.

"I'm very offended that you didn't invite us to your parties sooner," Daniel says to Cregan, putting a hand to his chest as if he were badly wounded, "How could you hide all this from us?"

"Don't draw too much attention to yourselves, guys," Cregan asks with a mixture of concern and amusement in his voice.

"We won't," says Sam, "We'll just enjoy ourselves apart from the others but inside, you get it?"

The music starts to get louder and soon enough, we are inside the party.

Blue and purple neon lights illuminate the white sand, creating a dazzling contrast against the night sky. Waves break gently on the shore, almost muted by the music vibrating through the air.

There is indeed a DJ from a raised platform and most of the people here dance in the center to the music, some with cocktails in hand, bottles of champagne or recording the moment on their phones.

Near the dock, several luxurious yachts are docked, all decorated with lights flashing to the rhythm of the music. There are people inside them, enjoying the party from right there.

Some people get off the yachts to join the party on the beach, while others stay on board, enjoying the view and the exclusivity it offers.

If not beer, there is a bar offering a variety of exotic drinks and gourmet appetizers, such as sushi, caviar and canapés.

And throughout the party, groups of people are spread out, chatting animatedly, laughing, toasting and dancing. There are also party games, such as beer pong and spin the bottle.

While others gather around improvised campfires farther away near the sea, where the atmosphere is more relaxed, watching the spectacle around them.

The air is permeated with the smell of sea salt mixed with expensive perfumes and the sound of laughter and music all along the beach.

It is a party that clearly reflects the wealth and status of their hosts, as well as the people present; pure spoiled kids with rich parents.

"Are we going to have fun or what!?" exclaims Sam excitedly, fully entering the party and everyone follows.

Chase convinces Cregan to be worrying since most of the people here are in their own world and he doubts drunkenly checking to see if they have the latest model Iphone or what.

And honestly you relax too as everyone here is having fun and you along with Alysanne look more presentable in nice bikinis.

They are second hand still but they are more cared for than the others you have.

Sam quickly orders drinks, surprised and excited to have gotten a bottle of champagne, then Cregan and the others take him and you and Alysanne to a more secluded spot.

You make a space for yourselves on the sand, a bit secluded from everyone, having the view of the huge luxurious houses, the cliffs in the distance and also the illuminated yachts on the dock behind you.

Pretty soon you have your beer and start enjoying yourselves just like everyone else, not worrying too much and just pretending you are one of them all.

Mingling with the rich at Sunset's pier is one thing, since the pier is the center of the entire beach and there are no prejudices there, but now pretending to be one is completely different.

You find yourself watching everyone around you when Alysanne nudges you slightly and points her gaze to a specific spot.

"Look at that."

You follow her gaze and see a group of girls.

"That bracelet is from Pandora, I saw it on Instagram."

From here you can see how their gold and silver necklaces and bracelets sparkle. Also the bikinis they have on are beautiful, certainly brand name. There is also a girl with a Guess bag and they all have the latest Iphone model in their hand.

And you turn to Alysanne with a shrug.

"Why are we judging when it should be the other way around?"

"We're not judging, we're just noticing the differences between girls like them and girls like us."

You both let out a laugh.

"You definitely want that Pandora bracelet, don't you?" you look at her amused.

"And you don't?"

The two of you continue to observe or rather admire all those rich girls who have fancy accessories when suddenly you hear a specific boast behind you.

You turn your head and see the dock, noticing how some impeccably dressed people are boarding one of the larger yachts docked near the shore.

And there they are.

You think as you make out those distinctive black, red and silver hair.

Of course they couldn't miss a party like this, the sons of the most influential families in the city, the Lannister's, Baratheon's and Targaryen's, practically the elite of Sunset's.

You've seen Cerelle, Tyshara and Loreon Lannister before on the Sunset's Pier, their red hair gives away who they are instantly. They always brag about their luxurious yachts, cars, jewelry stores and everything else they own.

Their father, Jason Lannister, has built an empire based on shipbuilding and port development.

From what you understand, his company designs and manufactures some of the most advanced and exclusive ships for the world's elite.

In addition to this, Lannister also owns a network of ports and shipyards on several coasts, allowing him to maintain a steady flow of wealth through port fees and contracts with global corporations.

This influence has given him a prominent place among the city's powerful and his family has inherited not only his fortune, but also his imposing and domineering character.

So it is no surprise that the Lannister's are typical spoiled children with clearly very wealthy parents, as are the others, especially the Baratheon's, Cassandra, Maris and Floris.

Known as much for their tanned skin and peculiar dark hair as for their arrogant attitude, they always seek to be the center of attention at any such social event.

Cassandra, the eldest, has a dominant bearing and never misses an opportunity to show off her status. She is also the best known of the daughters to go out every now and then with a boy from an important family either from the city or abroad.

Next, there is Maris, the quietest of the three and the most reserved, but still, as you have heard, just as spoiled and boastful as her older sister.

And finally, Floris, Cerelle's best friend and supposedly the most arrogant, capricious, shallow and boastful of the three.

She is the one who seems the sweetest at first glance, but her spoiled nature soon becomes evident when something doesn't go her way.

You also know that there are two other children, a daughter and a son, Ellyn and Royce, but apparently Ellyn prefers to stay at home and Royce does not live here.

Her father, Borros Baratheon, is a most important and influential shipping magnate and merchant in the region, known for his connections with outside businessmen.

He owns one of the largest commercial fleets operating along the entire Pacific coast. You don't know exactly what it's about but the guys have talked about how his company specializes in logistics and shipping goods across the ocean or something like that.

And finally, the sons of the most powerful family in the entire city and the entire country, the Targaryen's.

Viserys Targaryen is known as the most powerful man in the entire country and by extension his entire family as well. He owns one of the largest and most influential corporations in the region.

Your uncle Ben always had a kind of admiration for him, though your aunt always expressed her dislike of him, as well as the other families, for simply being other greedy money-rotters who drive up the costs of the city for all that they invest to elevate their status and leave you poor people increasingly difficult to make a living.

You honestly couldn't agree with her more, but the Targaryen's have been forging their main empire here in Sunset's for a very long time now and there is nothing that can really be done about it.

The Targaryen business empire focuses on multiple sectors, but they are best known for owning a very prestigious bank, where they serve wealthy elites and large corporations, as well as financing large scale projects, such as real estate developments, technology or even public infrastructure.

You understand that he has built and manages shopping malls, corporate skyscrapers and exclusive developments in major cities across the country, as well as high profile tourist destinations like Sunset's.

So basically all of them and him especially have total control over the financial resources of the region, as well as infrastructure and development in the most luxurious sectors.

Although Viserys and his wife Alicent are no longer seen as much at events this side of Crown's and on the pier, their influence still shapes everything that happens here.

"Hey."

Sam snaps you out of your thoughts when you feel him tap you on the shoulder and you turn your head towards him, confused and attentive.

"Hm?"

"What are you looking at?" he asks you amused, sitting down next to you and offering you a new bottle of beer.

"Oh, no, nothing, just..." you shake your head, taking the beer and not paying attention to the son's and daughter's of rich parents.

But Sam had followed your gaze before.

"I know, they're beautiful, aren't they?"

You immediately watch him intently.

"Who?"

"The yachts," he tells you as if it's obvious, "Imagine spending a whole weekend on one, just doing this..." he points to the beer and all the partying, "In the middle of the ocean."

You let out a small laugh.

"That's your biggest dream, isn't it?"

"And for the yacht to be mine, obviously," he says excitedly, turning his gaze back to the dock where they all are, "If I used to see them from afar and feel envious, now it's torture to have them so close."

You look to where he sees and he has a very good point. They could live perfectly well on one of those yachts and there would be no problem, which is also one of your dreams.

"Oh, come on Sam," you give him a friendly smack, looking at him again and you notice the gleam of longing in his eyes, "Surely your charm can make a girl from Crown's fall in love with you and let you enjoy the amazing yachts."

He looks at you incredulously.

"A Crown's girl with someone like me? Are you kidding?"

"It's not impossible," you shrug.

"Oh yeah, here at Sunset's everything is impossible if you don't live on this side of town."

And that's another good point and very true.

Daniel joins you and Sam's little group and you stop paying attention the moment you turn your gaze back towards the yachts and them specifically.

This time you focus on the Targaryen's, Helaena, Aegon and Aemond.

Surprisingly, despite being in the top tier of the wealthiest and most powerful family in the entire city and country, compared to the Lannister's, Baratheon's, Tyrell's, Arryn's, Stark's and Greyjoy's, they are not so smug, superficial and arrogant.

Although, come to think of it, the only exception is Aegon.

The eldest of the brothers, he is characteristic of his carefree and arrogant attitude. His life is summed up in parties, girls and excesses. Everyone knows him, he is the soul of the party and drives all the girls crazy.

For him, life is a game where he always wins. Sometimes he seems like the typical privileged son who has never had to strive for anything, but his power lies precisely in that.

Then there is Helaena, the only sister among the Targaryens who has a pleasant and gentle presence.

Although she is rich, the richest of them all and extremely beautiful, she doesn't abuse it, she doesn't show it off, she's not shallow or arrogant, besides she's always looking out for her siblings.

She is the kind of person who doesn't need to shout to be noticed and with just a quiet smile, she earns the respect and admiration of those around her.

You know a little about her as Chase has a little now not so secret crush on her and honestly you don't blame him, she is absolutely beautiful and even kind, which is rare due to her provenance.

And finally there's Aemond, who of all them, he's always been... different.

Where Aegon is shameless and carefree, Aemond is calculating and serious. Always impeccably dressed, with an expression that doesn't say much and keeps him at a safe distance from most.

From what you've heard, he's extremely intelligent, he's also reserved and quiet, the complete opposite of Aegon.

There is also a rumor about him about his left eye, something about an accident as a child and where he apparently wears a prosthetic.

You don't really know much about it or him but he's always been intriguing and mysterious, in a way.

You focus on him specifically, watching him from a distance, curious, as he takes a seat on the deck with an expression you can't read as it doesn't tell you much.

You watch as his short silver hair moves slightly in the wind and breeze, as well as he watches everything around him intently, to again focus on his siblings and Floris.

Floris is his girlfriend, apparently they have been dating for a few months now and have given a lot to talk about since no one expected Aemond to even date anyone.

But there they are.

You watch as Floris approaches him and takes a seat on his lap, looking radiant in a tight dress and a huge smile on her face, but he, on the other hand, remains expressionless.

Floris murmurs something in his ear, to which he responds with a slight smile, but averts his gaze to the horizon. However, she gently takes him by the jaw and leaves a soft kiss on his lips.

They begin to kiss and you look away, trying to refocus on the party and enjoying yourself here with your friends.

However, being here with all these wealthy people, especially the Targaryen's, you can't help but feel that divide about the rich and the poor at Sunset's.

You feel like you live in two different worlds, where they, the rich, live a life completely oblivious to the concerns of the people on the other side of town, in Crown's.

While you and the others work in the restaurants, clean their yachts, boats, houses and make sure their lives are comfortable.

They float above it all, the Targaryen's, Lannister's, Stark's, Baratheon's and so on, attending parties and making decisions that only benefit their own.

But you, the poor, the ones who live in Black Waters have nothing, you don't have the money, the influence or the power. Even the name of your side of town is a mockery to them, the rich, in despising even more the poor who don't have what they have.

But that's the life in Sunset's Bay.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: F.L.U.D.D. (Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device)

Debut: Super Mario Sunshine

F.L.U.D.D. was Mario's first ever Platforming Buddy! Unless you count the Lakitu Bros. from 64, but they just operate the camera and don't affect Mario's platforming moveset, so I do not. So really, F.L.U.D.D. is- hold on, I really don't want to write every individual period each time I write its name. I'm just going to leave all the periods at the end of the post and you can put them where they belong yourself, or anywhere else you think is funny. Or you can keep them, I don't mind. Put them on a bagel and tell a friend they're poppy seeds!

FLUDD is a big deal. A landmark for the series in terms of mechanics. Not that these specific mechanics returned, but the concept of a buddy granting Mario some new abilities has become a recurring thing. FLUDD even talks, and is fully voice acted! In a robot voice! Like mine! A cute and silly little robot buddy for Super Mario.

So then... why don't I absolutely LOVE it? I feel like I should! But I'm just not getting that urge to imagine it driving a kart or playing tennis like I do with far less important characters. Does it work so well as a Tool that I have a hard time viewing it as a Character? Let's See!

I think FLUDD's design is honestly kind of perfect. The two massive screws that evoke eyes are really clever, and especially great is that they give it + shaped "pupils"! Aside from that, the nozzle's funnel shape is an extremely funny shape for a mouth, and FLUDD does indeed speak out of there. Excellent head! Though I feel like the excitement fizzles out once you look past the head, because the rest is much more "equipment" than "character". That's fine, this IS a piece of equipment! It just makes it feel less like a character, when I'd like it to have a bit of a balance of both. Maybe if the handles also functioned as little feet that it could walk around on? I don't know. Maybe that would be stupid... but I do love when creature designs are stupid!

FLUDD was made by E. Gadd, but that's all the backstory we get. We never learn why it was just there on the Delfino Airstrip, and that's really weird! The perfect tool to combat the game's main conflict is just there immediately when Mario arrives. It could have been a cool little mystery, but I guess the reality is just that some Pianta ordered it when the Goop Incident happened and got express delivery. Or maybe someone already had it and was just waiting for a calamity like this to happen, to justify the purchase!

I don't need to go over everything FLUDD does, right? I'm not the Super Mario Wiki, it's not my job! I'm here for the Weird. And a weird thing is that FLUDD freaken dies.

During the final boss against Bowser's Hot Tub, FLUDD starts stuttering, as if breaking down. And then in the final cutscene... it Dies! Mario goes to it, it tells him it hopes it was of assistance, and it dies. And Mario is sad, because this was his friend. But then in the very next scene FLUDD is back! Some Toads fixed it and it's fine now. So this ends up having the emotional impact of Mario needing to change the battery on his TV remote.

Even though it's our and Mario's friend, FLUDD is still an object, a product. It's technically not just FLUDD, but A FLUDD, one of many, mass produced. I have to wonder if it actually formed any bond with Mario, or if it was a one-sided friendship. Is it even capable of friendship...?

Whatever the case, the others absolutely consider FLUDD a friend, and well, that's just so sweet. During the credits we get to see some extremely compressed pictures of Mario and friends enjoying their real vacation, and FLUDD is there with them! It's not even on Mario's back anymore, or always WITH Mario, for that matter. Sometimes it's hanging out with Peach and some Toads, sitting there independently. I think it is safe to say FLUDD is a real true friend, and likes to just Hang Out sometimes! Even better, maybe it wasn't originally sentient, but learned how to love over the course of the adventure. Such a wonderful robot thing to do!

As expected, thinking in depth about FLUDD has absolutely endeared me to it. Hooray! It's about time. Well, it's too late for FLUDD to be relevant again, probably. I'm not saying it should be a driver in Mario Kart, but I AM saying there should be a kart based on it, and I'm also saying that this kart should canonically be the FLUDD, now upgraded. This feels like something that should have happened long ago!

This has been a long post, but it is far from all FLUDD has had to discuss! So next time, I will post about FLUDD once more, and its various appearances during the GameCube days and beyond! There is milk involved at some point. Get excited to learn what milk has to do with any of this!

Here are all those periods you were promised! I hope you like them.

....................................................................................................

[m4iya]

⋆⭒˚.⋆𝜗𝜚 Order up! Matcha green tea, 100% sugar, 100% ice with black pearls and coconut jelly for @frosted-flakes!

Collab? Kenma Kozume (fluff, post high school, mutual pining + forced proximity)

Your phone had been blowing up with notifications all day since last nights stream. Who knew your viewers would get so heated over a couple jokes? Heck, was it even your viewers? It seemed more like the ones that were freaking out weren’t actually watching for the full context.

Well, that’s what you said every time. It kept them watching, right?

Though, being tagged in rants and comments wasn’t the only thing happening this time. You were receiving an absurd amount of messages from viewers as per usual, but also from other streamers and influencers. The most common words present within all of them being:

“Guess who mentioned you in their stream last night!”

This time, it felt a little different from other controversies you’d been wrapped up in, so you couldn’t help wonder who this mystery person was, and what you had done to earn yourself a mention.

One scroll on your timeline told you just about everything you needed to know. A post sat at the top of your feed; a video captioned “@/mc of all people?’

Clicking on it, a clip of someone’s stream began to play; a QnA of sorts.

“Kodzuken, will we be getting a collab with anyone soon? Can you drop any names?” The streamer read aloud before pausing to think.

“Hmm.. there’s a few things in the works, but I don’t know for sure when they’ll be out.” He replied, absentmindedly flicking through the questions on another monitor.

He paused for a few seconds before continuing to speak. “I’m not the best at reaching out to people, but I’d like to see what kind of content I could make with @/mc. She’s pretty funny.”

Proceeding to continue with other questions, he completely ignored the way the comments blew up at him.

Out of every streamer you knew, he had to be the absolute last person you’d have expected to even have any idea of who you were. You'd been watching his content for a while, having seen him at influencer events and such. Though, you'd never been able to approach him at any of them, often using 'I was talking to my viewers, that's why I couldn't approach him' as an excuse to yourself.

Even though it wasn't exactly your objective as an online personality, you figured that controversies and out of pocket statements would be one way to get his peoples attention. It wasn't like you were exaggerating your personality per se, you were always pretty outspoken, so the only extra steps would be recording or streaming your antics.

Even though it looked like it worked, you had no clue where to go from here. Would you send him an email? Or a message? And what would you even collaborate on? What would happen to his view count if he did make content with you?

You tapped onto his profile on Twitter, scrolling through his recent posts as you wondered what to do. Suddenly, a notification popped up on the top of your screen: A message request.. From him!

Kodzuken hey, this is @/mc, right?

You had a pretty large following, and he had mentioned your name in his stream. Staring at the message for a few seconds, you wondered if he was trying to be funny.

MC u really aren't the best at reaching out to people lol and yeah thats me

Your messages maintained an air of nonchalance, hiding the way your eyes were peeled—waiting for his next response, your heart thumping loud enough for it to reverberate through your ears.

Kodzuken thats a little mean anyways i'm assuming you saw my stream in that case so how does a collab sound?

MC I'm not too busy tbh I should be free next week. u sure u wanna collab with me? ur viewers will probably freak out over it

Kodzuken my channel not theirs 🙄 what do you wanna do for the stream?

MC something simple maybe some type of challenge? are u free to call so we can set it up?

Kodzuken give me a sec ill call you

Your hands shook in place, palms sweaty as you waited for him to call you first.

When your phone eventually rang, you let it sound for a few seconds, clearing your throat. Answering the call, you held the phone up to your ear.

"Hello?" He spoke first, his voice being exactly how it sounded on stream.

"Hey!" You internally sobbed over how that might've sounded.

And so the conversation began to flow, the two of you brainstorming ideas and details about the collab. It would be held on his channel, with you editing the stream into a video for your own channel. Before the two of you hung up, he asked for your number so he could send over his address. You wondered why he couldn't just send it over DMs, but your heart was already racing too fast for you to even bother asking.

You got to work immediately, organising your schedule and allocating time to buy the things you needed. He said he had most of the basic things already, but to make things funnier, you suggested a couple ingredients that you'd buy yourself. The idea was to hold a cake baking challenge with odd ingredients. Without telling each other what flavours you were using, you needed to decorate as nicely as you could, and you'd taste each other’s dessert at the end. One of you will guess incorrectly, and the penalty will be to post something on the other's social media account after the stream.

You both agreed not to do anything rash, but also not to plan or rehearse the ending too much. It had a mix of the chaos that was usually in your content, and the viewer interaction that he'd implement in his own. Preparing things behind the scenes, you both kept each other updated until the day arrived, and you nervously made your way to his place.

Standing in front of his home, you took a deep breath before knocking on the door. You heard the shuffling of slippers from the other side, stopping abruptly at the front door.

"Who is it..?" A voice groaned from the other side.

"Um.. me?" You nervously answered.

A faint gasp sounded from the other side before a flurry of steps took off, leaving you wondering what just happened. Could it be that he forgot that you were coming over today?

He returned around a minute later, opening the door immediately. You noted how crinkled his clothes looked, his voice as though he'd just woken up. The skin of his face was dewy—freshly splashed with water, the evidence visible on the hoodie he wore. It wasn't the one he usually had on in his streams.

"Sorry about that." He muttered, attempting a chuckle. His laughter definitely didn't come off as nonchalant, not with his eyes looking everywhere but at you.

Though, you definitely weren’t feeling too confident yourself. Your hands were clammy as you bent over to pick up the bags that you brought with you which contained the things you'd both be using in the stream.

"I'll help." He quickly offered, taking the things in his own hands with a faint smile tugging at his lips.

Butterflies. Your stomach churned in a way that it hadn't done since high school.

Following him inside, you realised how big his home was, surprised that he seemed to live alone. As you walked to his kitchen, he gave you a haphazard tour, which was limited to the rooms you both passed. He steered you away from the direction of his own room, telling you that it was 'just a little messy right now.' Looks like he really was asleep.

Once you reached the kitchen, it surprised you to see his camera and tripod already prepared. He placed the bags down on the counter, walking towards his setup.

"Should I set up my stuff as well?" You asked as you pulled it out of one of the bags, having brought it just in case.

"It's fine, I'll send you the footage." He replied.

With that, you prepared the materials you'd both be using. He provided the bowls, spoons and mixing tools. You handed him an apron and wore your own, giggling at how he struggled to wear it despite it being so simple. You offered to tie it for him and he did the same, even though you were more than able to do so yourself. You lifted your arms as he took the fabric around your waist to tie it, gently weaving one piece over the other.

"Is that too tight?" He asked. "Want me to loosen it?"

"Yeah, just a little."

You could feel your heart beating in your ears as he spoke from behind, helping you with this short, mundane task. Things were all over the place today, and you weren't sure how you'd get yourself under control.

The two of you went through a few more things, and soon began the stream. You greeted the viewers, and introduced yourself to those who didn’t know you.

And so the stream went on, unfolding much more differently than you had initially expected. It seemed that the people who were criticising you had either stuck around to see what would happen, or had simply left.

You cracked jokes with each other while mixing your ingredients, using the mystery flavours that you had poured into separate bottles last night—so tired that you could barely remember what was in them.

At the end, you both decorated the cakes together in an attempt to make them as appealing as they could be. Yours was coated in red frosting, and you used white buttercream in a thin piping tip to write out his name in cursive on the surface of the cake. His was haphazardly covered in pink frosting, purple polka dots shaped from fondant scattered over the surface and the sides. He had decorated the edges with sugar pearls and rainbow sprinkles, running out of time before being able to write your name on it.

Cutting each other a slice, you both took turns tasting it. You could barely contain your laughter as he cut into his—the centre was so moist that the knife he used was coated in batter as he removed it from the cake. You opted to eat a piece of the edges instead.

Exaggerating your reaction, you coughed, walking off camera to grab a drink of water. The ingredient he had used was chilli, and it wasn't settling well with you at all. His laughter echoed through the room as you drank from the cup of water; probably because of the slightly exaggerated reaction that you had rehearsed with him before the stream in the case that he happened to choose something spicy.

As he took a bite of your slice of cake after you had returned to the stream, his face contorted; confusion? He chewed once, then paused, scrunched his eyebrows, and continued chewing.

"Is that—" He coughed. "Is that coffee?"

You could barely contain your laughter at his reaction. Well, he wasn't completely off. It was coffee, alongside a couple different spices such as cinnamon, nutmeg, and.. well, you lost count after the first two.

"Not exactly! Wanna try again?"

He held his nose bridge, 'deep in thought'. You both knew that one of you needed to get it wrong to go through with the penalty. A few obviously wrong guesses later, it was decided that he'd be the loser. After talking to the chat a little, answering some questions and interacting, it was revealed to them that you'd soon upload a video on your channel, which would contain extra content, and that the penalty post would also be up on his account. With that, he concluded the stream, slouching over the table with a sigh as you took a seat on one of the tall stools, picking at the cake he had made.

"At least the frosting tastes good." You laughed, taking a spoon of it.

"Yours wasn't actually too bad," He muttered. "Just.. very flavourful."

The situation suddenly set in; it was now nighttime, and your belongings were scattered everywhere. How were you supposed to just pack up and leave? That same feeling from earlier was now completely overwhelming you as you felt your face warm up. What exactly was going on? Keeping your eyes on the slice of cake, your face began to heat up. In your peripheral, you noticed his head turn.

"You okay?"

“Just a little tired,” You smiled, avoiding his gaze. “I should probably get leaving soon." Reaching behind your back, you fiddled with the knot in an attempt to untie it. The quicker you could pack up, the quicker you'd be out of this mess.

Though, even the apron wouldn’t budge at all no matter how hard you tried to undo it.

"Did you superglue this or something?” You chuckled, exasperated. “It’s so tight!”

"Oh,” His head perked up. “I loosened the first tie, but I double knotted it just in case." He stepped towards you, offering to fix it yet again.

"All done." His hands reached over to the collar, lifting it over your head to which you pulled it down, folding the apron in your lap.

"Guess I'll do yours as well?"

You stood from the chair as he turned his back to face you. This was definitely something he could've done himself. Though as you fiddled with the fabric—in the deafening silence of the room, the way his breath suddenly hitched became overly apparent.

At this point you honestly couldn’t tell whether it was yours or his who’s breathing you were hearing. Your eyes scattered as undoing the fabric of the apron was the last thing you were thinking about right now. It was a little late to be realising this, but he was much taller up close than he seemed online, and given the way the apron wrapped snugly around his body—he was also a little thinner than you imagined. Not to mention the stray hairs at the nape of his neck that had escaped from the bun he’d made.

“..Are you done?”

Shoot. Who knew how long you were standing there with your gaze scattering everywhere? You quickly untied the knot with a single swipe, and he lifted the collar over his head, handing it to you. As you reached out to take it, you noticed how tightly he held it, seemingly not wanting to let go. It did seem a little out character for him to be so forward—having been the one that initially reached out to you first, inviting you over and being completely unlike how you initially perceived him. Not that you had thought he was mean, he just didn’t seem like the type to be so outgoing.

Or maybe it was motivated by something. Maybe the small patches of plush pink painting his cheeks, the way his lips were slightly parted so as to prepare himself to speak, his gaze focused on you for the first time today—maybe things were a little different for him as well. You for one knew yourself, being well aware of what you’d been going through today.

“..Do you have something to say?” You prodded, teasing although your voice was small, shaky, and laced with nerves. You definitely weren’t in any place to be picking on him.

He cleared his throat, gaze leaving yours once more. “..Do you have plans tomorrow?” Your eyes fluttered to his slender hands, their grip loosening as he spoke.

“No,” You replied. “I had nothing planned for this week other than—well, this.” Taking the apron from his hands, you set it on the counter. His hand moved to brush a loose strand of hair out of his face, “Do you live far?”

“A little.” Your car was parked outside, but you weren’t the biggest fan of driving at night, and alone as well? Not happening—not unless it had to. “But I drove here, so i’ll just-”

“You can stay the night.” He interrupted.

“No, I can’t—really-“

“I have space for another person.”

“I don’t even have a change of clothes!”

“I have spares.”

You were surprised that he’d offer something like that, and double down on it as well. Well, his place was huge; but you didn’t i expect him to go around telling random people they can stay over. Especially when he’s only met them once. He was now stacking the dishes in the sink, yawning as he did so.

You couldn’t help tease again, stepping towards him. “So you actually want me to stay over?”

He clicked his tongue, turning on the water. “And if I do?”

That.. wasn’t what you expected to hear. You couldn’t see his face, but the redness glazing the tips of his ears told you that he’d probably been going through the same things as you all day. Well, it was more than just today for you; and you wondered the same for him.

extra:

“Hey, we forgot about the penalty!” You recalled, slipping into one of his spare hoodies.

He sighed, brushing a hand through his hair as he scrolled through his phone, opening the camera. “Sit over there.”

“Here?” You took the seat on a chair in front of his setup, crossing your legs. The two of you giggled as you set up the photo, with him directing you to wear his headphones.

You took the photo of yourself, throwing up a peace sign, and captioned the post ‘get used to this face, ur gonna be seeing it a lot more’.

Watching the replies immediately come rushing in, you laughed together. It definitely wouldn’t be the last time you’d both record something together.

from my 100 followers event ✩ other works

[inchidentally]

how do you feel about people saying that lando and oscar are not friends outside of the f1 space and they’re just purely teammates? ofc i’d love to think that they’re not just teammates but actually friends but we really don’t hear much about them together outside of race weekends or there are stories of them not interacting at all while being near each other. on the other hand though in the clips we get from media and race weekends they seem close enough, but then again it literally is media and pr, they need to seem like they like each other.

omg this is loooooooong as fuck honestly u can refer back to my previous responses - or even this post - bc I will not expect anyone to want to read this fcking essay aslfsjafglsaf proceed if you want to tho

this has come up more than once so I kind of want to just dump every thought out here so it can be like a reference ?? I’ll try to link to sources wherever I can but also life is not at all conducive to me doing too much research for a topic I personally don’t have a problem with 

OKAY SO here’s the main thing that will help people who are judging landoscar’s dynamic by other Lando driver friendship dynamics: Oscar - as Lando himself said - is practically the flip opposite to Carlos, Daniel and honestly almost every other driver. he’s an introvert, he’s low frequency (Oscar’s term) he has at no point been a single guy since being in F1 (or a cheater, sorry to get #tooreal) and he only does partying on very special occasions (usually Lando’s bidding). even Max V likes partying and couldn’t be classed as an introvert, he just doesn’t like doing media. Oscar is a very unique being in a sport mostly populated by guys who view having a great time and meeting beautiful women and looking good on camera as the little side benefits to an already fantasy career. and there is nothing wrong with any of that (well there is with cheating but I won’t go into that) but Oscar quite literally is just there for the racing part. he’s not joking when he says that his priorities after racing are sleep, his gf, his family, his friends and in that order lasgsajlfas. 

(there’s also things like Oscar not being super tactile or into PDA (even with Lily) with other people so there’s no deliberate PR yaoi potential for the types of fans who are hopping from 1D or kpop rpf. the times that Oscar has wound himself up to actually touch Lando’s body deliberately are adorable and awkward. and also that Oscar resolutely has never once since becoming known to the public done gay chicken or queerbaity humor. I don’t say that as in drivers who do queerbaity/gay chicken are being offensive - it’s just seen by most men as just part of the arsenal of guy humor that softens their image to girls and women. but Oscar literally just does not do it. when he openly finds Lando adorable he just openly looks at him like he’s adorable. when he flushes and giggles over someone bringing up how attractive Carlos is he’s flushing and giggling and saying he has “great hair” bc that’s how he genuinely reacts. whatever Oscar’s actual attractions to other people are, he both doesn’t change them for public consumption but he also doesn’t make any definitive or specific indications. which makes it even cuter/more of a minx that Lando likes invading Oscar’s space and smacking his ass and holding him by the hips etc.) 

so you’re never going to see Lando being the same with Oscar as he is with the other drivers bc Oscar is an anomaly among the drivers. I’ve always said you should more look at their friendship in terms of Lando’s non-F1 friendships bc those are the guys Oscar gets along with/most resembles best anyway. Max F and Oscar are actually pretty damn similar in personality (Max is just more chatty) and Max also only really parties with certain people and leans toward hanging out in small groups of friends to attending huge events or going to clubs.

and I’ve had more than one person be unaware that Max F and Oscar have kept their friendship going ever since Renault Academy but you only have to look at my piastrell tag to get an overview of it. Pietra has said on a dinner stream that she loves Oscar too. and crucially Max has been the voice of reason during things like Hungary and Monza to calm fans down and mitigate hate towards Oscar from Lando fans bc he’s always rooting for both of them when he watches on weekends. Lando is his obvious priority but he also has no time for Oscar hate.

so the funny thing about ‘it’s just PR’ with landoscar is that landoscar don’t do PR! all the times they or someone else has mentioned them playing padel or having dinner or traveling together to races have never been used for social media or publicity - which is why, unless you follow landoscar content pretty heavily and consistently, you won’t hear about it! landoscar rank probably dead last every single season only behind maybe 2023/4 Alpine for teammate pairings who get the least amount of sm traffic and engagement, while carland0 easily rides at the top every single season bc they are PR gold and they both very actively engage in it.

and the only story of them not interacting while together was that satire “gossip” acc that said their parents didn’t see Lando and Oscar greet each other at a restaurant fully 15 minutes after just being together in team debrief at a restaurant where they were split off to their own garage debriefs. that was not actual gossip aslfgsjlaf and what’s funny is that McLaren is known specifically for having an open door policy between the garages so it’s not even one of these cases where the drivers’ teams would be ignoring each other/hostile etc

but even funnier about that whole thing is this is what they were actually like at Barcelona - literally they couldn’t have been cuter and omg if you compare the lowkey energy of this to carland0 and dand0 videos like howwww do ppl look at landoscar and go oh yea THOSE guys are the ones playing up for cameras to sell a bromance ??? in what world does Lando murmuring that Oscar smells like his deodorant and Oscar blushing and stuttering that it’s chocolate flavored scream “strategic PR” like who out there would be whispering to them to very awkwardly giggle and mumble about how Oscar smells different to usual like what strategy is that

and just as an example of what all these guys are like together when they don’t know they’re being filmed or are far from fans - and they’re not my photos to share and aren’t public - but a friend of mine shared some pictures her friend took behind the fanstage that same weekend way at a distance: Lando is on his phone and typing/focusing hard and “ignores” Oscar and Carlos and only talks to Alex (he actually is smiling up at Alex while offhandedly fist bumping Carlos). which hey! if someone wanted to obsessively twist every bit of downtime in a stranger’s life, could easily be made into him hating Carlos AND Oscar and his only REAL friendship being Alex !! but instead it’s that in real life we don’t have to obsessively perform friendships for them to be real and our friendships don’t live and die based on if our interactions would perfectly fit fan fiction. it was Lando being relaxed around three friends of his bc he had stuff to do on his phone and he doesn’t have to continuously offer verbal and physical reminders to them that he does in fact like them just as much as the other day or ten minutes ago when he saw them.

(but also there would be precedent for Lando somewhat preferring Alex over anyone like no one will ever match his first love lbr)

and as someone who is embarrassed at how much gossip I consume I can assure you any other “examples” someone who dislikes landoscar is claiming to have heard about aren’t real. everyone except landoscar fans actually do want Lando and Oscar to hate each other so trust me if there was a verifiable instance of them actually being hostile or avoiding each other I would’ve seen it already bc I’m trash and I follow wayyyy too much gossip ((: 

(I also follow an extremely wide selection of blogs on tumblr and race weekends are wild bc the reactions are all completely different - and more than one either hates McLaren or hates landoscar (they don’t hate constantly it’s just one of the things they don’t like) so yea trust me any valid instance of landoscar tea would show up somewhere I would see it)

again, they don’t play up a big bromance for PR so they don’t have to pretend to like each other to keep up any kind of facade. so when you see them laughing together and chatting off alone and choosing to spend the intervening week in Bahrain after the race together playing padel or playing a game of padel in Monaco during a break or Max F or Lando brings up Oscar during a stream then it’s bc they want to. when Lando complained to a room full of fans at a Jack Daniels m&g that he doesn’t spend as much time with Oscar as he does his other driver friends bc Oscar won’t get into a sport Lando likes, he didn’t do it to a huge audience or to the media and there was just one video of it. and when Oscar almost immediately started learning padel and even kept practicing in Australia during the winter break, it wasn’t used as PR or to push the bromance at all. hell, we never even got the Williams vs McLaren padel match that people asked for and Alex volunteered for. 

all these interactions and developments of their friendship gets them absolutely zero PR benefit and never travels beyond landoscar fandom bc we don’t have any of the rpf crazies to go out and flood comment sections and make millions of posts declaring in full insane seriousness that these two men would be married with babies if only those pesky real life partners would just disappear etc etc 

and this is a big thing: landoscar fandom is not what most other rpf fandoms are. not in a stupid elitist fandom way askfgsjkagfa I mean as in it’s entirely based on two guys who have been very slowly and gradually growing closer together but who provide absolutely zero targeted ship content. there are some very intriguing threads of fate there and Oscar’s social media history regarding Lando is what most people pretend the few pre-F1 interactions of drivers were - but the whole fandom is people who are enjoying watching a friendship and bond in real time and with no PR narrative being presented to us. especially that so much about landoscar was perfectly prepped for them to be in their innermost friend circles but that contrary to other ships, being teammates actually has made things more complicated and difficult. they’re so easy to write as a pairing bc in every way they fit their existing private lives and closest friendships perfectly. but they’re even more compelling in reality bc they’re taking their relationship as teammates SO incredibly seriously and passionately that their baby steps into friendship have been so unusually cautious and careful compared to how teammates usually are. 

but that’s also why the fandom doesn’t spread and doesn’t attract any of the die hard rpf delulu ppl. nobody wants to augment reality and nobody wants Lily to disappear and nobody has a problem with keeping fic writing and discussing real life separate. we will just never do numbers the way carland0 and dand0 do where they’ve got armies of women determined that girlfriends are all fake and beards and will go to any lengths to remove them so that their yaoi dolls can get smooshed together and have a gay relationship in spite of these men irl bro coding each other and doing queerbaiting precisely bc they feel safe and comfortable in their sexuality and aren’t among the terrified actual gay male athletes who stay in the closet until they retire and often long afterward.

now let me make a quick note abt something relevant !

so most ppl seem to be using PR completely wrong and think that it refers to some nefarious big brained 4D chess plot to fully dupe the public and cover up something that’s the opposite of what’s presented. the terms for that are whitewashing, spin etc which yes technically falls under the umbrella of public relations but most public relations do not involve stuff that dark.

that’s not how PR works for these drivers or for most lesser known celebrities. PR is how and what a public person chooses to present based on knowing that it will get engagement and interest from the public that will increase focus and attention on the person. when someone hires a “PR person” it’s the same as hiring an administrator for thinks like finances or filtering emails etc. they’re just helping out with the controlled image that a person already has cultivated. it’s not a pack of lies but it’s also not fully honest or authentic either. the driver friendships using PR are absolutely based on real friendships! but they’re also very deliberately engaging with fans and media in whatever way will sell them more, even if that just means doing some excessive PDA or always making sure to take pictures or video when they hang out or hanging out in places where they know they’ll get seen. it’s not dark sided or sinister or even all that cynical, it’s just how most of these guys incorporate things into being public figures and having sponsors etc!

but what’s so funny to me as someone who has had F1 in my peripheral life forever bc of my relatives who are lifelong fans is newer fans thinking that teams give a single fuck about driver PR outside of don’t do anything openly illegal. men in this sport are actually expected to be playboys and the whole social level where it exists is one of elitism and excess and indulgence. it’s not American team sports, it’s not pretending to be wholesome or originating from salt of the earth or bootstraps etc etc. 

and they sure as SHIT do not care if two teammates make for good PR or not. if they at all cared about that then a very openly struggling team like Alpine wouldn’t have had Esteban and Ocon together. 

media day is one day and PR day at the factories is one day and provides enough content to be spread out for weeks. if the content is plentiful and engaging then it’s purely bc the drivers themselves choose to do it and are wanting the PR for themselves as well. the teams have so much more to focus on than if people are squealing over the latest challenge on social media !!

but what’s even more hilarious about ‘landoscar are PR’ is that McLaren actually dropped almost their entire socmed dept not long after Oscar got his seat - this is the team that right up to Daniel leaving would release bromancey big production long form content almost daily and made beautifully edited Unboxed episodes and liaised with Lando and Carlos and Daniel’s personal PR teams so that they could coordinate releasing content on their own social media as well. oh and Carlos (and Daniel until his retirement) will still work with F1 and McLaren to create bromance content or make sure to be at certain places and times and even Adam uses carland0 content and Carlos Sr to promote his scooters. 

PR at McLaren used to be a MAJOR machine for literal decades in no small part bc their drivers were so shit hot at it - and when it comes to carland0 even after him leaving, it’ll still rev back up along with all Lando and Carlos affiliated accs to milk everything possible out of them being in any physical proximity or interaction

but it all started tapering off after Oscar joined McLaren - to hilariously minor fanfare might I add, they do more for new F2 drivers - and the longform stuff had all but ended by Austin 2023. as of the instagram wipe in 2024, Unboxed was scrapped and all socmed videos were filmed in short bursts on phones and the video length almost never exceeded 2 minutes. there might be some props that can be borrowed but usually it’s just having them read questions from cards or prompts 

(and the one rumor that Unboxed was ending bc of DTS makes no sense bc DTS has been going as long as Unboxed since 2019 and no other team or driver has been told to drop their long form content)

part of this absolutely came from the fact that Oscar didn’t want to do the whole PR thing with Lando (remember that McLaren made an entire dramatic production out of Carlos leaving after just two seasons and Daniel straight up said ‘landan’ would be bigger than carland0) and he doesn’t have the personality/stamina for the Carlos and Daniel level of publicity. so all the cute little interactions between him and Lando on twitter or instagram have always been unplanned and sporadic and natural. (Oscar has gone almost entirely over to a private acc since we can’t even see his likes in the wild much anymore and Lando has started to do the same) when Lando posts Oscar on his jpg acc or we see him taking video and pictures of Oscar it’s always just bc Lando thinks Oscar is neat! he posts him like one would an often elusive but beloved neighborhood cat.

and tbh there has been more than once (getting to that in a minute) that having a big public bromance creates totally unnecessary and distracting tension when two drivers are inevitably clashing on track and rrrrreally do not feel like dancing around so everyone can have their bromance feel good moment. so to whatever degree the team/Lando/Oscar felt that yea this new teammate pairing has strong legs to it, it would make logical sense to also say yea let’s just drop the whole bromance angle and let them focus on their jobs and the whole friendship thing will be up to the two of them.

and as someone who got sucked into F1 fandom literally bc of carland0 and dand0 PR being truly outstanding, it’s also worth mentioning that the way Lando’s relationships with Carlos and Daniel started was also completely different to with Oscar:

Carlos’ first season with Lando was Lando’s first season in F1 and it was absolutely perfect bc Lando needed a big brother figure to lean on and Carlos had been that for Max already - and Carlos himself always tries to have a great rapport with his teammates and is still close to all of them even now

Carlos spent his last season with Lando during COVID and Daniel spent the whole of his time with Lando during COVID, so there were whole periods where they existed in a bubble and quite literally had nowhere else to go and no on else to go to. again, thankfully they did actually get on very well but in a normal situation yes they would’ve chosen to spent a lot of that time with their friends and family

Daniel was already known to Lando through Max and mutual DJ friends so there was already a friend group they both belonged to

and I don’t want to focus on the bad times with carland0 or dand0 so I don’t go around storing up every instance of them fighting or tense/awkward moments where they could be classed as “ignoring each other” so just pulling from memory with these: Lando said here and multiple other times that he “hated” Carlos and Daniel as his direct competitors, especially because they had so many years of experience on him. and as he said here he felt very isolated and was even worrying if he could continue in F1 because Carlos was so far ahead of him. then of course there’s the famous moment when Carlos said something so out of pocket that Lando looked him up and down in disgust and straight up walked wide of him even when Carlos was clearly trying to smooth it over. I think their personal teams scrambled to arrange a golf date not long after this to keep fans and media happy asgdlsjagd. there’ve been more than a few times where Carlos has had to hastily say to media that “carland0 is okay” bc contrary to fan theory, Carlos and Lando have always raced each other same as they do anyone else and that means clashes sometimes. then Lando’s first win last year Carlos angrily asked “so he won it then?” over radio and in all his interviews with media said that if he’d had Lando’s luck with the SC then the win could actually have been his and while he made sure to do a big public hug, he opted out of celebrating with Lando after and chose to have dinner with Nico instead. bc yea he’s happy for Lando bc that’s his friend and former teammate BUT he was also wrestling with his last season for who knows how long being able to even fight for podiums and these drivers are literally paid to try to win and that’s what they want more than any type of friendship with another driver (I could also point out how Carlos “almost entirely ignored” Lando at the F1 movie premiere and “barely showed interest in him” at the big filmed Stefano dinner this weekend - quotes being bc if someone wanted to read into it with a slant against carland0 the way they do against a ship they dislike then it would be very easy - but the reality is that it’s perfectly ok to be a veteran driver who got dropped from Ferrari and is stuck in a car that’s exploding while your younger former teammate who used to look up to you now looks set to get the WDC before you - it doesn’t mean you don’t love your buddy or that you’re mad at him it just means it’s hard to ride the PR chuckle bus as expected of you sometimes and that’s okay!!)

the majority of the DTS rewatch with Daniel was full of uncomfortable moments where they try to joke thru obviously being annoyed at each other - especially when Lando started laughing when DTS Lando got a little bit savage and wouldn’t back down so Daniel started making jokes about his hands or smth? there was also the I think Unboxed moment or post race debrief where Daniel’s win overshadowed Lando’s best result in F1 to date and Lando was very openly annoyed by it and Daniel was super awkward with how to deal with that. and it’s pretty well documented that Daniel was very unhappy at McLaren and his and Lando’s experiences as teammates diverged heavily even tho they were able to still have a laugh.

and all of these instances of tensions or fighting are normal and part of friendship and when you don’t try to pretend that these friendships are “special” or romantic then you won’t be upset by them !

speaking of which, the big things people say make carland0 and dand0 more special than their other friendships are

a quick visit to Daniel and his friends in Perth that Lando said was “never planned” and was “just to get out of the place he was currently in” and this was during one of Lando and Martin G’s solo world journeys over the winter they sometimes do. Daniel and Martin are also tight so this really was not some deep pre-planned dand0 bonding experience it was riding dirt bikes and watching NFL games askfskahgf oh and Lando making breakfast for the group who didn’t eat it and made him do the washing up r u d e

Lando going to Carlos’ sister’s wedding was again, not some deep bonding moment at an intimate family event it literally involved press photographers and interviewers ?? I read a whole post on ig last year (the page is private now so I can’t find it again to link to it) that basically detailed how these types of huge society weddings among old money classes always involve inviting famous friends - and also that Carlos Sr 100% sees the strategic benefit of carland0 and having Lando as part of the family’s very carefully controlled and honed publicity. so it’s not to be compared with say Lando attending P’s birthday parties where it’s mostly family and just a few intimate friends and no press involvement. was the invite bc Carlos and his parents are fond of Lando? yes! was the invite done with a lot of publicity benefit involved? also yes! that’s fine!

this also goes with the times ppl thought Carlos and Lando were flying together or at dinner together just them but Rebecca was there too and was still hiding from being in pictures (Pierre’s the one who accidentally posted her first then edited it) and Mexico this year was Lando being invited along as a little brother with the huge group who had come to support Carlos - and he quickly left the grown up club they all went to after dinner to go party as the single young guy he is

I won’t get into it bc it’s gossip and in the past and Isa is happy and moved on but yea a lot of those ferda trips with beautiful local women that Lando took with Carlos and some friends were absolutely not for “guy bonding” so we should just… ignore those in terms of wholesome friendship moments el oh el (one time that was super awkward but indicative of how blatant it got was a Brazilian commentator had to do a quick clarification live during the race of having seen them around the week before a race bc he assumed the girls they were with were their gfs and they very much were not)

side note to this a lot of ppl are like Sainz Sr loves Lando and yes! he does! but Sainz Sr also is like that with multiple drivers and people on the grid bc he’s been deep into that world since long before Carlos was born! and just to say that Charles used to play padel with Sr and Carlos and that even with all the huge ups and downs Charles has had with Carlos and his family, literally still to this day Carlos Sr seeks Charles out specifically (even at his own son’s home race) to show affection and support. again it’s the fact that carland0 fandom is so insanely massive and the ship gets so much corporate socmed interest is why so many ppl think it's only Lando or especially Lando that gets on with Carlos’ family. 

I should also bring up the fact that Carlos and Ollie have developed a completely spontaneous bond outside of F1 that would have carland0 fans in seizures over if it was happening with Lando - but bc it’s not the popular yaoi the fandom reaction to it has stayed realistic and calm. but yea Ollie is straight up in Team 55 and Carlos’ life away from F1 in a way no other driver has been and it’s not at all publicity helpful or strategic and I find it so sweet <3

and I’m not going to go too deep into the charlos of it all bc I haaaaaaate rpf ship competitions and there are still ppl who deny Charles and Lando having a solid friendship that’s nothing to do with Carlos butttt it’s worth mentioning that Carlos himself is the one who has said he and Charles spend a huge amount of downtime and social time together, have meals together and that they “talk about anything, every subject you can think of” and that their girlfriends are even bonded in friendship - charlos are definitely a friendship of equals and contemporaries compared to the big brother/little brother age divide that Carlos has with Lando. so again, no point comparing bc the relationships are totally different.

and I have to say again !!! I never like having to do these bc when people delulu these things it means that reality seems “worse” but it isn’t !!! Lando was yes on a very lengthy invitation list and happened to be available where other drivers weren’t BUT he was still a friend that Carlos asked to come! if no one tried to turn it into something that shits on every other friendship Carlos has with other drivers then it could’ve just stayed as this super sweet thing and no one would have to like be talked down from the rpf ledge. for example, I use carland0 lore to create a super emotional doomed romance storyline for them in my royalty au bc I understand that taking reality and manipulating it for fic is fun but also not reality ! and then I enjoy reality as two guys who are good buddies and have perfectly matching sense of humor who no, don’t hang out as much as they used to but still hang out a lot! and they also hang out with a lot of other drivers too! and shouldn't that be enjoyed rather than turned into an insane competition among fans!

and god, Daniel and Lando couldn’t be more your typical extroverted fun-loving ferda type friends. they don’t do “deep and personal” they’re just bros. which again is really cute and fun and is only considered disappointing by ppl who take the PR and run with their imaginations to pretend it’s super "special" meaning want to pretend it's ~real life rpf~ (and omg the rages these ppl exist in when maxie| happens again or oh no norstappen is what ppl want carland0 and dand0 to be !!) 

whereas Lando and Oscar are jointly committing to McLaren over and over again and saying things like “we’re going to grow old and gray together” “we’ll be the strongest and longest running partnership” “we want to have this for as long as we’re in F1” about each other as teammates even as they’re still developing and feeling out their friendship !! 

it just has zero comparison at all to not just any of Lando’s other teammates but honestly to any other teammates at all. so trying to find the PR yaoi will never work and yea unless you follow pages or blogs that are heavily landoscar, you won’t for instance have seen the one grainy video of Oscar saying how he played padel with Lando and one of Lando’s friends (we all think it was Ed) bc while we in landoscar fandom love hearing about that, we’ve gotten fully used to the fact that neither Lando nor Oscar shares that stuff on social media or with McLaren PR. 

ironically the only comparison that can be made in terms of how they both approach their relationship and how we should too is Oscar and Lily salfgsjalfgslaf “private but not secret” we know literally nothing but the basics about their relationship and get very sparse amounts of actual coupley content of them and they're never actually spotted out and about except from someone mentioning it and honestly if Lily didn’t use her phone camera and Sarah Oscar’s socmed person didn’t liaise with her then we wouldn’t even have most of that ?? which we all FULLY respect and honestly love that they don’t want their relationship out where people can analyze it and pick it apart and project nonsense onto it.

that’s very clearly what Lando and Oscar are doing with their developing friendship. it’s not there for all of our benefit and they don’t have anything to prove to any of us. they’re also not liars and they’re blatantly not doing anything for publicity. 

if you want to enjoy landoscar then just bear in mind you won’t be spoon fed anything and they won’t be giving you a load of “content” to freak out over, you’re just going to be enjoying them having little private in-jokes they never fully explain and drawing close together when they feel under threat and using soft little private voices with each other when they’re tired or feel comfortable. it’s so genuine and soft and vulnerable and they have everyone telling them they’re going to fall apart and their response is to say they want to stay together long term and they want to never fall into the self-destructiveness of toxic competition with each other. 

so no, it isn’t that Lando and Oscar don’t like each other "as much as" other driver friends and it sure as shit isn’t that anything they do is PR - it’s that in order to see their relationship at all you can’t rely on publicity or fandom visibility you’ve actually got to pay attention to what they say and do. and none of that is coming from a PR machine.

[gasstationlady]

tom holland’s school of manifestation | a charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x supermodel!reader

charles has a big crush on world renowned supermodel, y/n l/n. who would’ve thought she’d return the feelings.

notes: very much travis kelce x taylor swift inspired. faceclaim is yasmin wijnaldum! btw i try to improve with each post (like how i write/pace the story) so if you have any suggestions, pls (veryvery kindly) tell me!! :))

disclaimer: SORRY FOR TYPOS. GOOGLE TRANSLATE (and from american high school lol) FRENCH. KYM ILLMAN MENTIONED LOL. none of the information in this social media au is factual. i do use old photos of charlotte and charles, and usually i don't like to include pictures of their ex or current gfs in these fics (only bc i want to keep it as imaginative as possible and i feel like adding them kinda gives you a reality check while reading LOL) so lmk your opinions on that!

masterlist

voguemagazine

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 854,487 others

voguemagazine Since beginning modeling at the age of 14, Y/N L/N has cemented herself as the most influential supermodel of all time. As of 2023, she is now the world’s highest paid model surpassing Kendall Jenner who previously led the list. Throughout her career, she has made 39 appearances on international Vogue covers.

Tap the link in our bio to read the full profile. Photographed by @/leannafitz, Written by Phil Stevenson, Styled by @/sheri_simmons, Vogue, February 2023.

View all 942 comments

user MOTHER IS MOTHERING

user omg as someone who has been a fan since she began in 2011, i’m so proud of her 😭

user she's the definition of perfection

user LOL ariana (charles), what are you doing here

↳ user his little crush on her is soo cute 😩

↳ user he’s just like us fr lmaoo

user her walk is legendary like it reminds me so much of naomi

user i was gonna say she’s the model of our generation but that’s wrong. she’s actually the top model of all time 😩😩😩

user i’m glad to see a non-nepo baby be on top of the list

↳ user no literally like no shade to bella, kendall, and them but y/n had to fight tooth and nail to be here

↳ user frrr bc most of the nepo baby models are great, don’t get me wrong. however, they were allowed to make mistakes during their career in order to improve. y/n was not privileged enough to have that. like ppl don’t understand the insane expectations that were placed on her ever since she entered the industry, but she exceeded those expectations every. single. time. and that’s why she deserves this title

user she’s so beautiful

user i would die for y/n

user nothing could describe the amount of affection i have for this woman omfg

charleslc_updates

42,077 likes

charleslc_updates Charles and Arthur talking about Y/N L/N (again lol) in a recent interview 👀

View all 396 comments

user lmaoooooo relatable

user omg i'm new to f1 but i've always been a y/n stan i'm freaakkkinng out but wdym again??

↳ user lmaooo charles is always trying to bring up y/n

user the leclerc brothers 🥰🥰

user it was so cute to see the both of them in one video

user this man fr blushed AHAH cute

user i get it charles i too have the biggest crush on y/n

↳ user lol literally like get in line dude

↳ user back of the line bucko

user i've never seen a man so down bad for someone he's never met

user y/n what are you doing girl if you don't want him ILL DO IT

user @/yourusername

↳ user LMAO YESSS @/yourusername

ynupdates

239,095 likes

ynupdates Y/N opening the 2023 Chanel by Karl Lagerfeld show during Paris Fashion Week.

View all 3,977 comments

user omg she absolutely killed it

user god does she need a dog? i can bark

user i love seeing her thrive

user quick charles this is your chance!!! she’s in paris 😭😭😭 @/charles_leclerc

↳ user lmaooooo not you tagging him but literally though

↳ user no srsly please mr. "i hope our paths cross soon" you don't understand i need this to happen

user yall saw that walk??? ugh y/n the woman that you are

user i don’t get the hype. all she does is walk.

user NAHHHH SHE ATEEE THAT

user i’m so happyyyy 🥺 y/n is so booked and busy she’s really out here doing multiple back to back shows for paris fashion week

↳ user same! it’s crazy that she gets to open and close multiple shows, especially ones like chanel!

user i love that so many people are going to these shows just to see y/n

user i could make this exact dress with my curtains

user if i ever meet her in real life i would die happily

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, bellahadid and 5,490,124 others

yourusername rien de mieux que d'etre a la maison [no place like home]

View all 12,658 comments

gigihadid sexy lady

↳ yourusername already missing you

user i keep forgetting she's part french

user you absolutely KILLED those shows

voguemagazine iconic ⭐️

alexademie 🔥🔥

user beautiful girl!!

user omggg charles liking this LOL

↳ user it's actually frustrating me that this man has no game like i'm rooting for you cmon

↳ user lmaooo literally though i'm just hoping he's pulling some strings behind the scenes

anokyai 😍😍😍

user la plus belle fille [the most beautiful girl] *liked by charles_leclerc

↳ user if this is him shooting his shot 😭😭

↳ user lol charles is down so bad he's even going through the comments

user am i just crazy but why are there two drinks in the second post? like is this supposed to be a very soft launch

↳ user it's probably gigi 😭😭 she did comment saying that they were hanging out with each other

↳ user but why not just take a pic of her tho

deuxmoi

31,844 likes

deuxmoi Y/N L/N & Charles Leclerc spotted hanging out with each other in Paris

View all 992 comments

user NO WAY OMG

user i'm actually in disbelief how tf did charles get here

user i knew you could do it charles!!

user TURN IT UP IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

user so are they dating???

user CHARLES FR WINNING RN AHAH

↳ user NO LITERALLYYY HES BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THIS FOR AGES

↳ user he manifested this 😭

user they look sooo good together

user why does he look so srs

↳ user give my man a break 😩

↳ user well it looks like he’s not your man anymore 😭😭

user omgg this is like a fairytale

user wait i'm kinda obsessed with this

user i’m so invested

kymillman

201,885 likes

kymillman Y/N AND CHARLES

Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc is joined at the track today by top supermodel, Y/N L/N. This is the first time Y/N is with him and she clearly shines in front of the camera.

Her debut at the grid has quickly become a popular topic as fans and drivers alike are intrigued by the presence of one of the most famous women in the world.

For A3 prints, hand-signed & numbered by a range of drivers/team principals head to kymillman.com #f1 #formula1 #signedprints #japanesegp #CharlesLeclerc #Y/NL/N

View all 971 comments

user SHDJEJ IM ACTUALLY GOING FERAL

user mom and dad 😩

user so it’s official???

↳ user i mean this is the hardest launch they could have done other than posting 😭

user i’m a charles fan and even i’m surprised he got her to date him

user i’m rooting for them so much 🥺🥺

user she’s serving though

user i’m watching the race rn and they literally keep talking about y/n being there AHH

↳ user i always forget she’s kind of a big deal

user kym gets on my nerves but this picture is actual gold

user it's so obvious that this is a publicity stunt

↳ user nah but for who? bc i know damn well that neither charles nor y/n need it

↳ user obviously not for them but maybe it's to gather more attention for f1

↳ user girl i need u to listen to urself rn 😭 bc that makes no sense

user idk who charles is and idk what the hell f1 is but best believe i’m tuning in next race just to see y/n

↳ user literally me girl i can’t believe i’m watching cars drive in a circle rn

yn_updates

91,922 likes

yn_updates Some moments of Y/N being mentioned by drivers during the Formula 1 race

View all 1,061 comments

user i swear it was like every minute i'd hear y/n's name

user the way that all the drivers are aware of charles's long time obsession with y/n LOL

↳ user i just know charles is the type to never shut up about her ahaha

user she's literally THE y/n l/n. i mean if viewers are sky rocketing just by her being there, imagine her impact if she had actively promoted it

↳ user she's so iconic

↳ user no bc i love y/n so much that i just forced myself to watch rich grown men vroom vroom in circles for almost 2 hrs just to catch a glimpse of her

user i'm in love with her life

user LMAOOO THE DRIVERS TEASING CHARLES

user lando's so funny 😭😭

user y/n and f1 stans are being FED today wow

user is it just me or am i kinda annoyed about how often they're bringing her up like my girl can't even support her bf in peace

↳ user yea i'm eating it up but also feeling bad for y/n at the same time. the attention is definitely a double edge sword.

user apparently she was with joris most of the time 🥺

user this is literally straight from a fairy tale i can't

user didn't they just meet like a week ago

↳ user as far as we know they were first spotted together about a month ago by that deuxmoi post. but assuming from y/n and charles's past relationships, i don't think they'd be this comfortable going public without being together for a while

↳ user yea this has definitely been going on longer than we think/have been seeing

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, gigihadid, landonorris and 7,712,083 others

charles_leclerc J'ai toujours su que c'était toi. Joyeux anniversaire, mon amour ❤️ [I've always known it was you. Happy birthday, my love]

View all 34,511 comments

yourusername merci, mon cœur ❤️ [thank you, my heart]

yourusername je suis raide dingue de toi [i'm madly in love with you]

↳ charles_leclerc l'amour de ma vie [the love of my life]

user are we interrupting something...

user i can’t believe it’s already been 6 months since they first went public

user throwing myself down the stairs as we speak

user they don't know it yet but we're actually a throuple

user happy birthday y/n!!!

user in love with their love 🥺

user lmfaoooo i just know charles is on cloud 9 this man literally sees y/n and is blind to everything else

↳ user he's sooo cute, he's like a love sick puppy

user i still think this is a pr relationship

user god i'd die for someone to look at me the way charles looks at y/n in that second pic

user this is my roman empire

user i'm so obsessed with them it's insane

user our generation's brad and angelina

↳ user don't say that wtf my parents are never separating

user pls don't ever breakup 😭😭

[homano222]

No Coriolanus Snow was not “pure evil” from the beginning of the ballad. And yes he was capable of love and empathy. But that makes him so, so much scarier.

LONG time lurker and first time poster here and I’m aware the hype for TBOSAS is wayy past but ive seen a lot of conflicting takes and thought id share what I gathered from not only the books but also an interview Suzanne Collins did about TBOSAS that I dont see many people talk about in their interpretations. Interview is the scholastic interview from 2020.

So yes, Snow is bad, Im a long time book fan so going into the ballad I was fully aware of who he was going into. But something I found really interesting at the beginning of the book was the quote from Mary shelley’s Frankenstein

"I thought of the promise of virtues which he had displayed on the opening of his existence, and the subsequent blight of all kindly feeling by the loathing and scorn which his protectors had manifested towards him." 

I think this quote, paired with Collin’s mention of tabula rasa:

“When I read it, I'm reminded of Locke's tabula rasa, or blank slate, theory, in which all we know comes from experience, as well as of Rousseau's state-of-nature human beings, who were capable of pity and compassion. She seems to be saying that naturally good creatures exposed to an abusive world result in monsters. You can apply that to Frankenstein, Coriolanus, or anyone you choose.”

Allows us to conclude that no, Coriolanus was not simply “born evil” he is instead very much a product of his upbringing. In fact, if we’re going with her thoughts, he like everybody, is “naturally good”. Witnessing horrors in war and also being fed capitol propaganda his whole life has led him to believe that the control and power the capital has over the districts is the only way to ensure order. And that when people are desperate or ungoverned, they will do terrible things. He sees Nero Price cut the leg off a maid to feed his family, and subsequently believes this is humanities natural state. I could go into how Collins works to reject this belief system through the use of Locke and Rousseau but honestly I might make a separate post about that.

Point is, Snow has a very negative outlook on humanity, but he was not born that way. He was made that way.

Now, as Collins states in the interview, upbringing is not an inherit excuse for behavior but it is a good explanation of why he has his initial cynism. You cant completely excuse his behavior because you need to leave room for his actions.

“But given all that, you still need to leave room for Snow's personality. Is a he a product of nature or nurture? Everyone of his generation experienced trauma, loss, and deprivation. And yet Sejanus, Tigris, Lucy Gray, and Lysistrata turned out very differently.”

So from the beginning of the book we are introduced to a young, starving Coriolanus with this viewpoint on the world. So naturally, hes going to be an asshole.

He views vulnerability and empathy as weakness, he is obsessive as states in text. But again I dont think this makes him inheritably evil from the beginning. Yes he has some troubling thoughts, I see this one talked about often:

“He thought of people putting a price on her. With her long, pointed nose and skinny body, Tigris was no great beauty, but she had a sweetness, a vulnerability that invited abuse. She would find takers, if she had a mind to. The idea made him feel sick and helpless and, consequently, disgusted with himself.“

Now, this is not a good thing to think about. But no, i dont think he “wanted to sell his cousin” a take i see mentioned a lot?? Hes disgusted at the thought but because he grew up in a society that he believes takes advantage of those who are “weak” he views his cousins “vulnerability” as something that would cause people to harm her. This is not a good viewpoint by any means and in my opinion it appears he is almost blaming victims for their “weakness” but within the context of his upbringing, this is the conclusion he draws, its not inherently malicious, just merely Collins solidifying that Coriolanus finds empathy and vulnerability to be something that can be used against somebody.

Now despite his beliefs i would argue that yes, he does experience love and empathy throughout the ballad. He experiences conflicted emotions after Arachne’s death:

“In the near scalding water of the shower, he scoured the remainder of Arachne’s blood from his body. For a minute a painful sobbing made his chest ache, but then it passed”

I think this is Collin’s way of showing, that yes, Coriolanus can feel empathy but he untimately chooses to suppress it and instead revert back to his cynical worldview, in which he uses Arachne’s death as a tool to allow himself to look better and ultimately states that her funeral was a “ridiculous and out of proportion”. So yeah he can feel empathy but he chooses to suppress it. This is far more complex and honestly more interesting than the take “Snow has no empathy”

Now on to love:

So of course one of the biggest debates in the ballad is the nature of Coriolanus’s feelings toward Lucy gray. And now i would like to state that like many of you, i found their relationship progression to be deeply unsettling. Yes they have their moments but with Coriolanus’s constant thoughts of possesion and his constant undermining of her culture its a very hard read. (Im not going to quote examples of this bc its everywhere in the book lol). Despite this however, I do think in his own way, he did love her. At least the only way he knew how. Not only is it a key part in understanding the nature of his descent into villainy it is also stated by Collins in her interview:

“For whatever reason, Snow has a very controlling personality. Then he experiences one of the most out-of-control emotions, falling in love. It turns out to be a bad combination.”

This sums up the nature of his feelings for her perfectly. Yes he does care about her, though he himself admits initially her wants her to win so he can succeed. He grows to care for her, though it gets twisted because of his need to control every aspect of his life . He genuinely wants her to win, not just for him, but because he cares about her, at least in his own way:

“I’ll be a wreck tomorrow! When I told you that you mattered to me, I didn’t mean as my tribute. I meant as you. You, Lucy Gray Baird, as a person. As my friend. As my —” What was the word for it? Sweetheart? Girlfriend? He could not claim more than a crush, and that might be onesided. But what could he possibly have to lose by admitting she’d gotten to him? “I felt jealous after your ballad, because I wanted you to be thinking about me, not someone from your past. It’s stupid, I know. But you’re the most incredible girl ’ve ever met. Really. Extraordinary in every way.”

Now again. Not glossing over his need to control her, his constant undermining of her culture, and him objectifying her as “his” but even he admits his jealousy was foolish.

And again his attempt to seperate her from the districts, although indirectly more demeaning, and his need for control both come from his idea that he cannot love someone from districts, who stole his upbringing from him and plunged his world into chaos and misery. Not justifying it but his reasoning is there in the text.

So if Collin’s wrote Snow with the capacity for empathy and love. Where did it all go wrong? And why is he still so evil?

Because time and time again, He is given the opportunity to change, to change is viewpoint, to see that no, love and empathy is not weak. Because if it was, how did it fuel the rebellion that ultimately led to his downfall as president?

Time and time again Snow is given choices, and at every turn he chooses himself, power and ultimately Gauls, Hobbes-like worldview i.e people are evil and must be controlled.

Snow is given three examples in his life. Three people who endured pain and trauma. Three people who did not turn out hateful and resentful. Lucy Gray, Sejanus, and Tigris, who notably endured worse than him and yet still maintained her empathy. And again, these are three people who he, at the least, had relationships with. And while him and Sejanus’s was much more one-sided, thats not up for debate I do think Snow cared about him a little more than he let on:

“There’s an empty seat by me.” The words came unbidden from Coriolanus’s mouth. / The offer distracted Sejanus, and then he seemed to deflate. He took a deep breath, walked back down the aisle, and slid onto the stool.”

As he says himself, those words come unbidden. Almost as if on instinct, as if subconsciously he wants to help him. Again their relationship is very onesided but I do think its more complex than Snow wants to let on. But honestly to unpack all of it is another post in itself and this one is already super long.

So yeah Snow does, at least a little, cares about these people. Its what makes his betrayal of them so much worse. He knows them, he listens to them tell him that the worlds not all evil, that humans have a natural goodness, that they see the goodness, even if its small, in him. And yet he chooses Dr. Gaul. He chooses power and stability over love and nature.

And that is what makes him a monster. Not that “oh hes an asshole in the beginning so surely hes just predestined to be an asshole!” No. He has every opportunity to love, he even understands it! And yet he chooses to cut it out and weaponize it.

And this is what makes him so evil in the original trilogy and SOTR. He knows how out of control love is, he knows how it feels to be vulnerable, to love someone. And yet, because he views it as weakness, he utilizes it as a weapon against Katniss and Haymitch. This is why the ballad is so tragic, he knows what its like to be a lovestruck teen, and yet he goes on to torture people with the same love that could have saved him, had he let it.

TL;DR

Snow is very much a product of his upbringing. It explains his worldview, but it does not justify it. He is capable of love and empathy as stated by both Collin’s in her interview and in the text. But throughout the book, he chooses power and inevitability rejects love, making him evil. This is why hes so evil in SOTR and the original trilogy; he knows what it means to love and fear, he is the original victim of the capitols and Dr. Gauls propaganda, but you stop being a victim once you victimize others. I would also argue that by stating that Snow was “always evil” buys into his and Gauls toxic worldview.

Thanks for reading! Sorry about the long post lol and idk who will see this but these are my thoughts. Im always open to discussion and give me a follow if you want to talk TBOSAS!!

[contentloadingandstuff]

Smut Headcanons - Furina & Navia

A/N: While I have the Furina stuff I promised (smut + relationship + parenting headcanons) ready, I decided to split them up in three posts to go with another character. This way, the reader can enjoy exactly what they want. Anyway, enjoy! CW: Nothing, just vanilla ice cream here.

Furina de Fontaine? Yes, of course she is nothing if not the best at this whole “sex” thing! There are hardly any things she struggles with less than marital fornication, she'll have you know! 

Please go easy on her. She has no idea whatsoever. 

While it's true that throughout her long life she had read through many explicit books and brochures, mostly without pictures, her lack of personal interaction with the male body leads to her being quite clueless the first few times around. She doesn't really know how to please you, more - she barely even knows what she likes herself.

It's natural for gods to be less sexual than humans, which is all the more unfortunate for Furina. She kept the lifespan, but was left with a human set of emotions and needs that was doomed to wither over the centuries. But not all is lost - now that her days of godhood are over and she could finally become human - with a human lifespan and the ability to fully express her emotions. It will take time, but, with enough practice, she'll catch up. 

Communication is key. Don't hesitate to “order” her around. Tell her what feels good, what doesn't, what you'd like her to do and more. Furina will follow your example and share what she can - although the storm of moans and whimpers should serve as more than enough of a pointer. 

Furina is surprisingly confident in the bedroom. When she finds something she likes, she'll definitely let you know. She will, between shivering and gripping the sheets, encourage you or give you some pointers, as much as her state will allow. She's not scared to initiate and when she does, she always goes in with a plan. Knocking her off balance with some teasing of your own is sure to leave her in tatters though…

Furina is quite the fan of plays and works talking about romance, so her view of the subject is much closer to “making love” than to any other way to describe sex. As such, she enjoys plenty of prep before the main event - a romantic dinner, some proper foreplay, some teasing beforehand… She enjoys working yourselves up to the main thing. Getting in the right mood is a must for her, and when she's there, there's no keeping her hands off you.

Don't let her outspoken and loud way of carrying herself fool you - the closer you get to her, the more shy Furina becomes - especially if no clothes are involved. She'll have you believe that it's completely natural for a small girl like her to be intimidated by a taller and far stronger man, unwilling to openly state that she happily lays back and lets you do whatever you want to her most days. 

On the occasion that she has something specific in mind, it usually involves a bit of dressing up - she's quite fond of theater, after all. She can afford costumes and dresses galore, both for you and herself. It does take quite a bit of time, getting herself perfectly dolled up for the occasion, but it's no problem - seeing herself so disheveled, undressed and messy after you're done with her is totally worth the effort. 

A nice session of light play-acting is Furina’s favourite way to spice things up. She can be whoever you want - a damsel in distress, longing for the body of her noble knight, an actress getting some more hands-on rehearsals, or perhaps her favourite - the shy, freshly taken bride. Furina never parted with her wedding dress and takes it out for a spin, from time to time. It fits her perfectly, and thanks to Chiori’s expertise in material selection, is also easy to clean from… certain substances. 

But sometimes all Furina wants to do is let loose, be herself and just get some lovely, passionate pounding. Doggy no doubt has its bonuses in that regard, but she’d much rather see your face twist in pleasure as her slick hole pleasures you to completion. She enjoys missionary the most, with her hands clasping around yours for support or desperately clinging onto the sheets below. Furina is all about kissing, so expect your mouth to be occupied, and remember - nothing is hotter for her than you looking her straight in the eye as you nut inside. She won’t complain if you boast about how much you’ve filled her up - after all, you’re quite the lover, and it’s only right for you to be proud of what you can do to her. 

Don’t be alarmed if you find Furina shedding a few tears while her guts are being rearranged - that’s just how she responds to overstimulation. She doesn’t want you to stop any time soon, of course… But a kiss and a squeeze of her hand would surely motivate her to take you further in! 

She spends a lot of time grooming herself to perfection, with most of the time going towards shaving herself. She enjoys nice, smooth skin everywhere below the neck. Furina does mind hair, and you would make her very happy if you kept yourself like that as well. Why would she want to have all this nasty hair obscuring the goods? 

Furina is aware of how unlucky she is, to be created with not much of a cleavage. She tends to be hyper aware of her deficiency - or at least that’s how she views it. Your girl tends to skip out on nipple or boob play for that exact reason. She’s yours, and so is her body - if her body can’t offer you all it should, she’s not a good wife, is she? She would love you to be able to slide your cock between them and fuck them to completion, but they are, unfortunately, very flat. Over time, however, your love and encouragement helped her dismiss these harmful beliefs of inadequacy. So much so that she's grown to cherish her form.

She's proud of what she has, and loves to show herself off with expensive sets of lingerie. Unlike, say, the extendable cutlery she bought, these come in use regularly. She always picks those one size smaller to accentuate the nice fluff around her thighs and belly - a woman must have some plush on herself, after all! Couple that with long gloves and thigh highs, one darker and one brighter to match her eyes of course, and you've got yourself an outfit Furina feels beautiful in. 

And desired, too. They are nice, yes, but not as much as the feeling of you stripping them off her. She likes passion, and very much enjoys seeing you lose control of your desire for her. Don't hold your moans, say whatever comes to mind - even if it is her name over and over and over again, she will listen intently and whine your name in concert. 

The bed’s your stage, while you and her play the main roles. 

For her, you are the main attraction of the show. You and your glorious, male body. Navia? She's a big fan of that. 

The straight posture, the beautifully flat, strong chest, these powerful arms, the big hands, the meaty calves… You're incredibly handsome, so why wouldn't she spend her nights worshiping and touching you? 

When it comes to herself, she doesn't mind most things. Sure, she likes being the center of your attention, but being the receiver excites her much less than giving. While she'll take a long while to cum with your tongue, just sucking you off is enough to make her squirt on her fingers. Sex is all good, but she'll be more passionate if you just lay back and let her do the work. 

Let her take the lead - here, you're the star, and she's more than eager to see you enjoy yourself. Navia loves servicing you and bringing out those delicious, deep moans and sighs. She gets absolutely soaking at the thought that it's all the doing of her skillful hands and abundant body. 

Navia Rich cleavage, fat butt and a spacious pussy - Navia has it all, and you're more than welcome to help yourself. She'll be thrilled if you make good and frequent use of her, as - surprise surprise - women have needs too. It's unfair - why can you be absolutely horny for her, but it's improper for her to drool over you? Well, that's how it is in public, but behind closed doors, you're game. 

Navia is the unchallenged queen of handling your manhood. Learning about you, memorising the shape of your cock, adjusting her insides to fit you like a glove, learning where to touch to make you shiver… It was great fun, and Navia enjoys having the chance to explore you further with various kinks. She's not going to say no to anything when it comes to your hefty package, that's for sure. 

While not having much for herself, Navia owns a host of toys to use on you in the sheets. Would you like her to tie you up? Maybe edge you with a pocket pussy? How about tying the base of your cock for some extended sessions? Whatever you want, whatever you need, she likely has it in her collection - and if she doesn't, it won't be for long. All she needs is your word.

Navia is known for her positive and energetic approach to her role, but every girl needs a pick-me-up once in a while, doesn't she? Navia won't mind if you come over and sneak with her into a closet or let her get under the desk for some naughty time~

Nothing turns her on more than your pleasure. Seeing your hand tighten around the armrest as she edges you, feeling your hand push her head up and down as you use her throat as a toy or hearing you struggle to get all the cum out when she milks you for all your worth is something she greatly looks forward to. So much so that, if you give her this privilege, she'll whip out a Kamera to keep that moment for years to come. 

Of course, it will be focused on you. She wants to capture what she loves the most - your pleasure. She'll let the Kamera roll as you rail her into the bed, capturing all these lovely moans and expressions of bliss, as well as your grunts as you selfishly chase your own pleasure, uncaring if she will handle the pounding. One of her favourites is recording your balls as they slam against her cunt in doggy or missionary, capturing your voice and the obscene noises her pussy makes as your fuck her to completion. She'll return to them when she’s away, rubbing and fingering herself to the image of you in careless, primal bliss. 

That's another thing she loves to see - primal lust. The sight of you senselessly and violently fucking a toy is her favourite thing to get off to, especially that she knows she's going to be the toy next. Be rough with her - she can take it. Just don't you dare go silent on her, now! You have a voice, so use it - moan, whine, sigh and growl for her. Navia wants to know just how much you enjoy using her body. 

But sometimes she's in a more needy mood, especially when you've been quiet the last few times around. Navia knows that there's nothing worse for a guy than denial, so she'll strap you down and play with your dick, edging you without pause until you cry and beg for release. Or, alternatively, she'll work your head and prostate, forcing you to give up everything in your balls to her. The longer it goes on, the more you struggle, and the more frantic your pleas become. Music to her ears. 

Navia finds it so hot when you act needy, even when it's as simple as asking for some attention. Want a handy? She'll give you a helping hand, no questions asked. Need your balls emptied with some mouth work? Navia is on the case. You're in need of a quickie? Feel free to bend her over and yank those panties down - she's on the pill, so cum away. Be ready to zip down your fly for her too - sometimes, a quick suck can really lift her spirits. When she has a day off, expect lots of messing in the sheets. 

Morning sex? Yes please! She'll gladly have you wake up to lewd sounds of slurping and her lips wrapped around your cock, if you'll let her. And once you fully wake up, you'll get to feel her ride you in the rays of the morning light. 

She's the type of girl that loves cum. Expect lots of positive encouragement to blow your load, no matter if it comes quickly - it's a compliment for her doing a great job, right? When you finally give in to her talented ministrations, she'll make sure to put on a show for you. Each part of her (except the hair, cum is quite annoying to get out of there without taking a shower) is fair game when it comes to coming. If you feel like giving her a mouthful, she'll swallow it up and show you a clean mouth as proof. Her favourite spot, though, is the face - it might mess with her make-up, but its warmth and smell feels so naughtily good on her face, and she'll make sure you're watching her gather it up and lick it off her fingers with a proud, smug smirk.

Navia isn't a fan of condoms, not at all. She’d much rather take a pill or slap on a patch than wrap you in rubber. Besides, Navia always wanted to have plenty of kids, so when the time comes, she'll passionately encourage you to knock her up. Having her stomach swollen with a baby - that you put into her, which she will make sure to praise you for - makes her feel beautiful, even if she has to buy bigger clothes. Luckily for her, she can still suck your cock with a big belly, so it's not much of a problem in that department. 

With Navia, it's cowgirl all the way. Not only do you get to see her tits swing and her beautiful face, but you also get a taste of her excellent riding skills. She likes this position as it allows her to see your face contorted in pleasure. She will adjust the pace and depth to better milk you, or keep you on the edge of orgasm and enjoy seeing you lose your mind to pleasure. 

Thanks for reading!