#so i'm back and forth writing and throwing her ball

[so-long-soldier-writes]

i promise i'm trying to update, but i wrote three separate "part 2's" of fics, but don't like any of them. so i'm very slow at the moment, but am working on things! it's been a hectic couple of weeks and yesterday was emotionally exhausting. today i might post a little sad drabble, too, that i drafted in the midst of my crying😅

[angeliicheartt]

Hii I love your writing, it's so good! Can I request a fic for shoto in which they're kids and the reader's parents had a quirk marriage too and she's worried her parents will force her to marry someone so she asks shoto to marry her and they have a fake kid wedding where they get fuyumi to "officiate" it and natsuo is the flower girl(lol I'm dying just thinking about kid natsuo throwing flowers in a dress) but they act like a married couple even when they're both in UA(she's also in 1a). Please please please I would really appreciate it! But it's completely fine if it's something you're not comfortable with! <333

ɪ ᴅᴏ!

includes: shoto todoroki

fem!reader

a/n: finished right before i had to leave for therapy 😚 i thought this was so cute but i didn't know how to end it but i hope u like it <3

you still remember the warm, summer day you went over to the todoroki household for the first time. you were 5, your parents had been arguing and your nanny thought it’d be good to get you out of the house. you remember holding tightly onto your nanny’s hand, the skin made soft by the lotion she always kept on her.

you watched as she shook a white-haired woman’s hand, her expression timid but welcoming. your eyes drift down to see 3 other children, your eyes lighting up at the sight. a girl and a boy, both with primarily white hair watch you from a few feet behind their mother, their expressions curious, and in front of them, clinging to his mother’s pant leg was a boy with half white and half red hair. you felt your nanny’s hand on the back of your head as you looked up at her.

“go play, i’ll be with mrs. todoroki,” her hand slides down to your back before gently nudging you towards the children before following mrs. todoroki out of the room. suddenly all eyes are on you and you want to shrink. your little hands fiddle with each other before the girl walks up to you. she has an eager smile on her face and you can tell she’s older than the other two, as you have to slightly crane your neck to see her before she crouches down.

“i'm fuyumi,” she says, her hand gesturing to herself, “i'm twelve.” 

she then points towards the white haired boy, “that's natsuo, he’s eight,” her finger moves to point at the smaller boy, “and that’s shoto, he’s five. there’s also touya, but he’s out in the forest right now.”

her head turns back to you and her lips form a soft smile once again, slowly warming you up. “i’m (y/n), i'm five too,” you say shyly, keeping your focus on fuyumi. her smile widens as she turns to shoto, “you hear that, sho? she’s your age.” 

you watch him nod shyly, his cheeks pink as he breaks eye contact, tilting his head to look at the ground. “he's just a little shy, nothing to worry about!” fuyumi states, smiling once again.

“can we go play again?” natsuo groans, crossing his arms as he raises an eyebrow at fuyumi. she sighs, her hand moving to her hip as she stands up again, “yes, let’s go.”

she begins walking, brushing past natsuo as he turns to follow her into the courtyard. you watched her go, unsure if you’re permitted to follow, but before you can question any longer, shoto’s chubby little hand grabbed yours and began trailing after his siblings. the hand holding yours is cool to the touch, a good aid for the sticky summer air. 

you and shoto sit on the stairs as natsuo grabs a ball, kicking it to fuyumi. she laughs as she returns it, the two of them kicking the ball back and forth. you turn your head towards shoto, gazing at him through your hair, “you’re not gonna play?”

he shakes his head, “i don’t get to play a lot, and i don’t really feel like playing,” he murmurs and you hum in response, burying your chin in your arms as they rest atop your knees. 

“do you get to play?” he asks, his two-toned head turning towards you. you shrug before lifting your chin from the juncture of your arms, “i'm allowed to, i just don’t have anyone to play with.” you say, watching as natsuo and fuyumi laugh and run around, “my parents argue a lot, s’cause they married for quirks ‘nd not love,'' you say, your five-year-old mind not having any idea of a filter.

“same with mine,” shoto says, his eyes still trained on you.

“mine might make me get a quirk marriage,” you say, looking over at shoto once again before your eyes widen at him.

“what?” he mutters, his cheeks flushing once more as you smile and grab onto his arm. “we could get married, that way you and me don’t get pushed into a quirk marriage,” you exclaim, your lip getting caught between your teeth as you wait for shoto’s response. 

“okay,” he mutters, his focus on the way you're holding onto his arm. you get up, grabbing his cool hand once more to pull him up before hurrying over to fuyumi and natsuo, “me and shoto are getting married.” you say as fuyumi looks down at the two of you.

“oh, you are now?” she asks with a grin as shoto and you both nod.

“alright then,” she says cheekily before grabbing natsuo and telling him to grab a dress from her closet and flowers from the garden.

after a few minutes, natsuo comes back and fuyumi bullies him into being the flower girl as she proclaims herself the officiant, with the reasoning that, “she actually knows what to say.”

during that time, shoto had run into the house to his mother before shyly saying he was marrying you and needed a ring. rei chuckled before getting up from her seat, muttering a small, “be right back,” to shoto and your nanny.

she comes back a few minutes later, a small, dainty, ring in hand. She crouches down, holding it out in front of shoto.

“will this work?” she asks and he nods, thanking his mother shyly before running back out to the courtyard. 

once everyone’s back in the courtyard, fuyumi began to orchestrate everything. she calls shoto over to her, where she’s set up a small arch made of ice. she stands under it as she guides shoto to the little ‘x’ she drew in the ground. she tells natsuo to “just throw the flowers on the ground while you walk,” before walking back to you, crouching before you.

“and all you gotta do is walk behind natsuo, got it?” she smiles as you nod. she pats the top of your head affectionately before walking back to her officiant spot.

natuso begins walking as he hums the wedding march, tossing bits of flowers across the ground. you follow behind him a few feet, your hands fiddling with themselves once again, almost as nervous as when you first got here. natsuo makes it to the arch before moving to stand behind shoto, and as he moves out of your view, you make eye contact with shoto. your shoulders relax and you let out the breath you were holding as you walk to the ‘x’ fuyumi drew out. 

“now, hold hands,” fuyumi directs and you and shoto obey, both of his hands moving to grab your fidgeting ones. 

she begins reading out the officiant script, cutting out the longer parts in the middle, before she finally gets to the end, “shoto, do you take (y/n) to be your wife?” she bends down slightly as she asks, watching as he nods.

“you have to say ‘i do’” she says and he repeats it, muttering out a small “i do,”

“and do you, (y/n), take shoto to be your husband?” she turns to you, as you nod and say “i do,”

fuyumi straightens up, a grin on her face as she proclaims, “then, by the power not vested in me, i pronounce you husband and wife!” her hands move to her hips as she rests her weight on one leg, “now give the bride a little kiss on the cheek.” 

shoto leans forward, gently planting a soft kiss on your chubby cheek, and the two of you hear a camera shutter, before turning to see shoto’s mom and your nanny watching the two of you, a camera in rei’s hand. 

“we've got to go now, (y/n), we’ll come back another day, hm?” your nanny reaches out her hand for you to grab. you almost run over to her before shoto grabs your little hand.

“you almost forgot the ring,” he murmurs as he slides the slightly-too-big ring onto your ring finger. you grin as you kiss his little cheek in thanks.

“i’ll see you soon,” you murmur before running off to your nanny, her soft hand taking hold of yours, commenting on the little ring you received.

and that was the beginning of you and shoto’s relationship. the two of you have never explicitly stated that you two are together, but you’ve always been with shoto. you've been ‘married’ to him since you were five, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

your head turns as you look at shoto, sitting on one of the dorm couches, your hand in his as he plays with the little wedding ring he gave you over a decade ago. you smile at him as he glances over, and you lean your head in to give him a small kiss on his cheek.

“i'm glad you asked me to marry you,” shoto mutters, his eyes flickering down to the ring his fingers continue to fidget with. 

“i'm glad you agreed,” you giggle before mina stops dead in front of you, “did i hear the word marry?? you two are married??”

you laugh at her reaction, patting the seat next to you for her to sit so you can explain how you’re ‘married’ to shoto.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @satelitis

[wileys-russo]

hello! a silly request, but can you write something alessia x reader along the lines where they are representing different brands (adidas/nike), but reader got new shoes/boots/etc and she doesn’t want to get them dirty so alessia offers to carry her! the motion gets caught and becomes the face of a new ad cover for the shoe and everyone teases alessia! thanks a bunch!

air russo II a.russo

"fresh ones today?" you looked up and rolled your eyes at the cheeky smile above you. "they want me to take some photos in them, training is an easy time to get that done and professionally." you explained, kyra nodding along.

"go away kyra." you sighed knowing the australian was hardly ever up to good when she had that smile on her face. "white is an interesting choice. have you checked the weather today?" her grin widened as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"no, i don't watch the forecast every day pest. go away!" you kicked at her, smacking her hands away from the box of fresh boots. "kyra." you glanced behind the girl as your girlfriend appeared, poking the australian in the back and raising an eyebrow as she turned.

"leave her alone." alessia warned, pushing at her shoulders and moving to sit down next to you. "you two make me sick." the midfielder gagged dramatically, whining as steph walked past and smacked her upside the head, sending you a wink before kyra took off after her.

"i missed you." you laughed at your girlfriends words, kissing her cheek and shaking your head. "hey! say it back." she poked at your ribs making you laugh louder and push her hands off.

"less its been thirty minutes since i last saw you." you teased, kicking off your slides and bending down to slip your boots on. "and i missed you every single minute." your girlfriend sighed having just returned from a quick physio check up, leaning her body into yours.

"didn't you miss me?" she mumbled into your back, arms slung around your neck as you pushed your feet into your boots. "no." you shrugged, squealing as she pinched you. "alessia!" you huffed trying to sit up as she leaned into you more.

"say you missed me." the blonde grumbled, poking at your cheek as your eyes rolled. "get off me and i just might." you heard a huff and felt her sit up allowing you to do the same. "i missed you too, needy." you gently patted her cheek.

"less!" you laughed as she once again collapsed her much taller body into yours. "you're so mean to me." she sighed dramatically, one arm covering her face as her head moved to sit in your lap. "i love you." you chuckled, moving her arm and pecking her lips.

"thats it?" the blonde frowned trying to bunch your shirt and pull you down as you pryed her hands off. "yes! we're at training, need i remind you russo." you honked her nose and bounced your knee indicating she sit up.

"yeah save it for the bedroom lessi girl, disgusting." kyra called out with a tut and a shake of her head, eyes widening as your girlfriend leapt up and raced after her.

"children, the pair of you."

lacing up your boots and slipping in your shin guards you hopped up and hurried to catch up with steph and beth, wiggling your way in between them.

"did i just hear you call your girlfriend needy?" beth teased as you slung your arms around both of them. "yes. she's needy and i'm clingy, there's a difference." you grinned, steph tugging on your ponytail and pulling a face as you fell into conversation with them.

"when the hell did it rain!" your eyes widened in shock as you pushed through the training centre doors and noted the now very sodden grass. "it didn't genius, they water the pitch on tuesdays. remember?" steph laughed as they continued on ahead but you stopped.

"comin?" beth spun around and raised an eyebrow as you frowned at the very muddy stomped on turf between you and the pristine training pitch. "my new boots! they're white." you groaned throwing your head back.

"tough break kid. should have gone for the orange!" a hand slapped your back, leahs smirk filling your vision as she wiggled her new boots at you mockingly. "carry me?" you asked hopefully as the blonde laughed sarcastically.

"yeah you wish dopey." she shoved your head to the side and jogged off, the others leaving you behind as you glared down at the mud contemplating your options.

"babe?" you looked up and brightened at the sign of your girlfriend. "are you alright?" the blonde asked genuinely concerned as you melted at how sweet she could be. "new boots." you huffed pointing downward as her concern morphed into an amused smile.

"would you like a piggy back?" alessia chuckled as you perked up and nodded. "tell me you missed me before." the blonde frowned as you grinned. "i missed you so so so much baby, my chest was aching." you pouted with a hand over your heart.

"i don't appreciate the sarcasm but i'll accept it." your girlfriend sighed, turning around and bending down for you to climb onto her back. "i love you." you craned your neck to kiss her cheek as she hummed.

"you owe me for this." the striker warned making you smile, a few of the girls watching on and laughing as she carried you through the muddy patch and onto the training pitch which was anything but.

"and this is your stop, thank you for riding air russo." alessia announced squatting and dropping you to your feet. "oh i'll do that later, i promise." you whispered with a wink, watching with a grin as her cheeks burned bright red and she smacked your arm, both of you called over to training.

you hadn't thought anything else about it until a few days later when the training video had been released, one of the media interns having filmed alessia carrying you to the pitch and cutting it into the video.

"baby! you home?" you looked up from your computer where you were cranking out an essay you'd sworn you'd had another week to do, checking the date and realizing you had two days.

"in here!" you called back, eyes focused on the screen again typing away as you heard her make her way upstairs. "look at this!" you flinched as your laptop was yanked from your hand, held out of reach as alessia's phone replaced it.

"less! babe i have less than 48 hours to finish this essay and its worth a quarter of my grade for this subject." you tried to reach for the laptop only for it to be held higher. "you can have it back once you look." she pointed to her phone in your lap.

"this better be-" you started picking up her phone. "is this what you wanted me to see?" you couldn't help but smile at the photo on her screen. "yes! that looks bad, really bad." alessia groaned, placing your laptop down on the desk and flopping down on the bed.

the photo in question was a screen grab from the training video of alessia carrying you, edited to look like a nike ad. alessia had the adidas symbol edited onto her training top as you had the nike swoosh on yours.

the tagline 'Zoom Mercurial Superfly - a football boot so clean even the competition recognizes its game'.

"alessia. its made by a fan!" you laughed with a shake of your head. "oh yeah? look who retweeted it!" alessia huffed as you squinted and your smile grew. "oh theres an intern somewhere getting in trouble." you chuckled seeing the nike twitter had retweeted it with a series of emojis, even going as far as to tag both you and alessia.

"they're not the only one! when adidas see this, when my publicist see's this, my agent-" alessia sat bolt upright throwing her hands in the air. "baby." you grabbed them and moved her phone aside.

"its a fan edit, made from a very harmless video of my incredibly sweet girlfriend doing something lovely for her girlfriend." your hands dropped hers and settled either side of her face.

"you're not going to get in trouble, you're not going to be dropped my adidas. i will call my agent and have the edit and the retweet taken down if that will make you feel better baby, i promise." you assured, alessia sighing but nodding.

"thank you." she mumbled, burying her face into your shoulder as you smiled, running a hand through her hair. "sorry for interrupting your studying." the blonde pulled her head away as you pecked her lips a few times.

"you can be very dramatic at times less, but i love you. and hey not all of us can prioritise university, hm?" you teased, your girlfriend scoffing knowing what you were getting at.

"i have two units left of my degree and you know i'm trying my best to get them done!" alessia protested trying to get up with a huff as you laughed and moved to straddle her lap.

"no you're annoying me, get off." your girlfriend scowled as you grinned. "now now, babe thats no way to talk to a passenger." you tutted as the blonde gave you a curious look.

"i did say i'd take a ride on air russo, right?"

[writtenbymoonflower]

hello! I'm not sure if your requests are open, but could I ask for some hurt/comfort with poly!marauders with an autistic reader?

maybe reader has a meltdown because of sensory overload and they help her through it?

thank you so much! I love your writing xxx

thank you so much for requesting! poly!marauders x autistic fem!reader

cw: description of sensory overload, autistic meltdown/panic attack, brief mentions of unsafe stimming

943 words

By the time your building was in sight, you felt every ounce of adrenaline leave your body. You had been holding on by a fraying thread all day, taking every searing feeling of overwhelm in stride. Your hands were raw and scraped from digging your nails into your flesh, and your jaw was tight and aching from being permanently clenched. 

Usually, work wasn’t this stressful for you. There were difficulties for sure, but it was familiar and predictable. Today however, there had been a company mixer involving all of the branches of your company. The building was hot and crowded with bodies, everyone was talking over each other, there were new people constantly trapping you in mundane conversation, and it was all just too much. It felt like every aspect of the event was scheming for your demise. You made it, though. You were as friendly as you could muster and you hoped your simmering discomfort was mostly imperceptible to your coworkers. Unfortunately for you however, the come down was worse than the overwhelm itself. 

You kicked your pinching shoes off the minute you stepped through the door, wanting to rid yourself of all sensation. You rushed to your room to undress. All of your clothes were itching painfully into your skin and it was enough to make you want to scream. You tugged your blouse off, not even bothering to throw it in the hamper. Your hands were so shaky that you pinched your fingers in the zipper of your skirt. You were already close to tears, but when you punctured your stockings while tugging them off, it all caught up to you. You crumpled into a heap on the floor, shivering from the biting cold in the room. You rolled yourself into a ball as small as possible on the floor, shaking as tears rolled down your face. Everything was too much. You weren’t sure how long you had stayed like that, rocking back and forth and shaking your hands, as if you could shake off the crawling on your skin. In your overwhelmed state you didn’t notice the door open, or the footsteps rapidly approaching your room. 

“Baby?” A voice was panicked, rushing over to you and crouching on the floor. You recognized the smell first, Sirius’ woodsy and fruity scent. His hands reached out to grab you before quickly retreating, not wanting to add to your state. “Baby, did you hurt yourself?” You shook your head rapidly, still choking on sobs. You winced as Sirius yelled. “Prongs! Moons!” They appeared in the doorway almost immediately, recognizing the urgency in his voice. 

“James, get the blanket.” Remus ordered. They had seen this happen a few times before but it didn’t make them panic any less. It was difficult for them to see you in pain, especially when there was no visible injury to tend to. You were still shaking, biting your hand compulsively. Remus was firm but kind as he kept you safe from yourself. “Honey, I need you to be gentle, okay?” You didn’t respond but still obeyed. Soon, a warm and heavy blanket was placed over your shoulders, it helped to calm your shaking, but you were still crying. 

“Will a hug help, lovie?” You nodded, craving the pressure. James pulled you onto his lap and squeezed you tight. The compression was wonderfully grounding, as if you could feel all the pain being juiced from your system like a lemon. He released you too soon, but you knew he was just being cautious. You tended to not know when pressure was too much, especially when you were in this state. It wasn’t rare for you to have bruises on your hands from squeezing or sitting on them when you got stressed. Still, you now felt calmer. 

“Remmy, can you turn the lights off please? The buzzing hurts.” You winced. He scrambled up to do so, in a way you knew likely hurt his aching joints. Your brain began to quiet down, your system being cleansed from the unwelcome and intrusive sensations of the day. “Thank you.” You mumbled, playing with your fingers. 

“Don’t thank us, baby.” Sirius wrapped the heavy blanket further around your shoulders. “Did something happen today?” 

You shook your head. “Not really, just a bunch of little things. It was just a lot, I didn’t expect it to affect me so much.” You said the last part with a bit too much shame for the boys liking. 

“Sometimes you don’t know until it’s happening.” James said gently. “I’m sorry it was a hard day, lovie.” 

“Is there anything more we can do?” Sirius said restlessly. He hates that this happens to you, it makes him wish he could wrap you in warm, quiet darkness and hold you to his chest, shutting all the pain out. 

You thought for a second. “I think I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten yet today. I was too distracted.” You knew the boys were still feeling especially tender, since you weren’t scolded. 

“Why don’t we order a takeaway?” Remus suggested. “That way we can just relax for a bit.” He stroked your exposed knee with his fingers.

“I think that Greek place is open.” James said before you could answer. “I’ll get the menu.” 

“Do you wanna move to the settee, sweet girl?” Sirius wrapped an arm around your shoulders. When you nodded he helped you stand up and ushered you to the sofa, wrapping you in more warm blankets when goosebumps rose. James handed you the remote. 

“Pick what you want, lovie.” James sat on your other side, caging you in wonderfully. You were again covered in sensation, but this time it was welcome and comforting.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Date Night

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Part of the Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You go to date night

Pernille smiles as she watches you both.

It's dark out, the sun having set hours ago. It's way past your bedtime but you're still up.

Magda's holding your hand, swinging your arms back and forth as you jump over the cracks in the pavement.

It was supposed to be date night, the first one they're having since the move to London. Perhaps it was a bit ambitious to arrange it when you were still settling into life in England, when they didn't quite have a big network of support.

The girl that was meant to be babysitting you had to cancel, citing illness just a few hours before Pernille and Magda were scheduled to go out.

They didn't have many other options and you still weren't comfortable enough with the Chelsea girls to hang out with one of them while your mothers went out.

So, you just came with them.

You got to eat fancy food at the restaurant Magda had a reservation and now you were all off to the bowling experience that Pernille knew was just a cover for her and Magda to get a little tipsy.

Well, it was supposed to be that but with you now tagging along, Pernille could settle for only one alcoholic drink.

"Momma!" You call out, pulling Magda to a stop as you turn your head to face Pernille. "Hand, please!" You hold your hand out for hers and Pernille shakes her head fondly, slipping her own into yours.

"Should we swing you?" Pernille asks and you nod.

"Uh-huh."

"Okay. Ready? One, two...three!"

You giggle as you're lifted up into the air suddenly, kicking out your legs to get more height like how Momma taught you to do on the swings.

"Again!"

They swing you all the way to the bowling alley.

You've never been to the bowling alley before so you're very excited even though Morsa makes you change your shoes and wait for her and Momma to do the same.

They buy fancy drinks and then a fruit shoot for you.

You like fruit shoots so you try to drink it all down at once but Morsa stops you.

You don't quite understand bowling but you know the balls are heavy. They're not anything like footballs and Momma even tells you that if you try to kick it, you'll probably break your toes.

You don't want to break your toes so you don't kick it.

They're heavy though and you're not strong enough to throw them like how Momma and Morsa can.

That's a little frustrating.

You clearly don't like someone having to stand behind you to help so Pernille drags the ramp over.

"What's that?" You ask as she drags it in front of you.

Pernille crouches down next to you to show it off. "You pop the ball here and push it down into the bowls."

You frown. "I don't have to throw like you and Morsa?"

"Not at all. Here, I'll help."

Pernille sets the ball up at the top of the ramp and you push it down with all your might.

You manage to hit more pins than your last few gutter balls and you like that, giggling a little as an animated pen appears on the screen to write in your score.

You're still little though and you're really just enjoying the experience rather than setting out to win so while Magda and Pernille get competitive, you enjoy rolling the ball down the ramp and finishing off your third fruit shoot of the night.

It's way past your bedtime and Morsa's jacket looks nice and warm and snuggly so you curl up next to Momma with the jacket over you like your blankie.

"I think it's time to finish up," Pernille says as Magda finishes off her last bowl," Princesse's gone to sleep."

"I'm not getting that jacket back, am I?"

"I don't think so."

Magda shrugs, picking you up and wrapping her jacket more firmly around you.

You don't wake up at all, merely fidget a bit in your sleep to try and burrow closer into Magda's shoulder.

"We should take her on more dates with us," She says as they both head out.

Pernille rolls her eyes. "You're only saying that because I can't be as competitive with her around."

"No one's stopping you."

"I don't think Princesse would have fun if she knew how competitive I truly am. You're lucky, Magda, otherwise I would have completely ruined you at bowling."

Magda scoffs even as she hoists you up higher in her arms. "Yeah, right. I'm so much better at it than you."

Pernille pokes her in the chest. "As soon as her babysitter is healthy, we'll go back and I'll show you exactly why you're wrong."

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Chris, I suffer of simpinitis and the only cure is you to write for Arlecchino (just a joke don't feel pressured especially if you end up not liking her also good luck if you're pulling for her)

(Genshin Impact) Arlecchino, Lynette, Xianyun, and Barbara's S/O getting scared by a spider

I don't plan on pulling for her because Clorinde is showing up, but FEAR NOT ANON! Quoth the FFXIV:

Arlecchino watches with vague amusement as S/O suddenly leaps back, nearly into her arms.

She catches them with minimal effort as her eyes slowly track tiny movement on the floor.

A spider was skittering across the floor at a slow pace, making her gaze trail back to S/O.

(Arlecchino) "Spiders are not very likely to attack humans without being provoked. And even then, that is under the most dire of circumstances-"

(S/O) "I-I know, but...they're just creepy!"

(Arlecchino) "Indeed."

With a hum of acknowledgement, she almost drops S/O to the ground as they barely caught themselves in time.

Arlecchino walks over to the spider and gently puts it in a cup before releasing it outside.

She crosses her arms as distant memories from her past came trickling in.

(Arlecchino) "You wouldn't have liked Bambi."

(S/O) "Who's that?"

(Arlecchino) "A pet spider that I once owned."

(S/O) Of course you owned one...

They were smart enough to not say that out loud, but Arlecchino had the faintest hint of a smile on her lips.

She probably knew what they were thinking anyway.

Even when she was spacing out, Lynette could easily spot something moving in the corner of her eye.

(Lynette) "Oh, a spider-"

(S/O) "WHAT?!"

S/O immediately balled up onto the couch, head rapidly darting back and forth.

(S/O) "W-WHERE?!"

Lynette's ears twitched from how loud S/O was being, but she easily grabbed the spider in a cup, noting how S/O was inching away from her.

(Lynette) "It's not even a dangerous kind, just a regular-"

(S/O) "I don't care what it is, just throw it out!"

Lynette smiled and gently let it escape out the house.

As she sat back down next to S/O, her tail swished playfully, though Lynette herself was stoic as ever.

(Lynette) "What are you going to do when i'm not here?"

(S/O) "D-Don't tease me!"

Xianyun adjusts her glasses when she sees a spider on the table.

S/O almost dropped their food completely at the sight of it, while Xianyun looked slightly annoyed.

(Xianyun) "How unsightly for a dinner table."

With a small gust of wind, she flicks it away, making S/O leap out their seat.

(S/O) "GAH! D-Don't fling it at me!"

(Xianyun) "One was not aiming at you, dear. Do be careful, otherwise your plate will drop."

S/O took a deep breath of relief while Xianyun continued to eat.

(Xianyun) "Hm...One has an idea for an invention. We could construct you a machine that can take care of household pests like that."

(S/O) "...W-Would you?"

Xianyun suddenly beams with pride, a gleam of light reflecting off her glasses.

(Xianyun) "Fear not, One will make sure you are never bothered by a spider ever again! We will get started straight away after dinner."

What ended up happening was Xianyun constructed a machine that was too good at killing household pests, to the point it broke parts of the wall.

Both Barbara and S/O yelp when they see a spider speed along the tiles of the Cathedral.

(S/O) "Aw man, it's going up to the ceiling!"

(Barbara) "I-It's not going to drop on our heads, is it?!"

The two exchanged a look that said neither were wanting to find out the answer.

Accepting defeat, the two quickly exited the cathedral out onto the plaza.

(S/O) "Do you think we could ask one of the sisters to help us?"

(Barbara) "U-Um...well-"

It didn't take long for either of them to realize that it'd be absolutely mortifying to ask a sister for something so trivial.

Instead, they decided to practice their singing outside.

Which arguably, was worse since spiders could be anywhere, but it didn't seem to cross their minds as they slowly became comfortable again and laughed the situation off.

Until the next day they forgot about it and entered the cathedral, only to be jumpscared by it as it sat on the pews they were at.

[paramountinplace]

Love how you write Van and Mel!

Had a fic idea about how CG!Melissa breaks her arm while playing with Gen and Akilah. She pretends it's nothing while trying to not regress (in the meantime everyone wants something). She hides her pain all day, and has to take care for most of the little ones (which is unusual and an emergency, but she volunteered when the others had to do something important, and didn't want to disappoint Tai who looked so relieved and proud when she did), so she doesn't tell anyone. When Van comes back home, she eventually finds out and takes care of her when Mari accidentally hits her arm and she bursts out crying and yelling in immense pain.

At least she gets a cool cast after waiting in the hospital for so long.

If It Ain't Broke... - Cg!Mel (+ Little!Mel)

Summary: As requested above! A game in the yard ends poorly for Mel, who finds that she has to keep it together a little longer as they wait for the others to return home.

"And you'll be the troll," Gen declared, pointing at Mel.

She put a hand to her chest in faux-offense.

"The troll?"

Akilah giggled, nodding in agreement.

"You chase us since we're the magic fairies and you want to steal our magic for yourself," she informed Mel, spinning to show her the construction paper wings that had been haphazardly attached to her shirt with cello tape.

"Well okay..." Mel drawled, slowly pushing herself to her feet. "But you better run quick!"

Gen and Akilah screeched, giggling madly as they turned to run away from Mel, who starting taking exaggerated steps across the yard as she did her best to imitate a burly troll. The girls split apart from each other and she zeroed in on Akilah, who was slightly closer. With a few quick steps, she was able to grab her around the waist, roaring playfully and giving her a spin.

"I'll save you!" Gen hollered, picking up the plastic wiffle ball bat that had been abandoned in the grass earlier that day, waving it in the air as she charged at them.

"Don't hit me with that," Mel warned, letting Akilah back down onto her feet. The other girl was still laughing happily, which seemed to deter Gen from actually using the bat on Mel. They took off again, throwing vaguely fairy-related taunts over their shoulders as they went.

Mel started to chase them again, but she was mildly distracted by trying to figure out what Gen possibly could have meant when she yelled that she was going to steal the troll's floozle horn for a pinkberry stew. So distracted was she by the perplexing comment that she forgot to watch where she was going and her sneaker came down unexpectedly on the plastic bat that Gen had apparently abandoned in her fervor to escape the troll.

A yelp escaped her as the bat rolled beneath her foot and she pitched forward, sticking out an arm to break her fall.

Bad idea.

Mel couldn't quite muffle the shout that escaped her when she felt an odd crunching feeling in her arm, quickly morphing into a stabbing pain. She curled around the arm, hugging it to her chest instinctively. She could hear Gen and Akilah coming up behind her, voices worried, but she ignored them as she forcibly sucked in a few deep breaths, trying to stay calm.

The haze in her vision started to abate the longer she breathed and eventually, she managed to push herself upright with the non-injured arm, keeping the other cradled against her body.

"Mel?" Akilah sounded like she was about to cry, hovering over the blonde like she wanted to touch her but was too scared.

"I'm good, hon," Mel gritted, smiling tightly. "Just a little spill."

"I'm sorry!" Gen blurted, eyes glassy as she looked back and forth between Mel and the plastic bat. Mel shook her head, climbing carefully to her feet. She used her good hand to pull Gen against her non-injured side, rubbing her shoulder.

"It's okay," she soothed. "Let's get the yard cleaned up and head inside now, though, alright?"

Gen nodded frantically, wiping at her cheeks as she guiltily started tidying the yard. Between her and Akilah, they got it done pretty quickly, by which point Mel was becoming aware of the intense ache that was radiating up from her forearm.

She chewed on her lip as she herded the girls inside, trying not to let tears well up in front of them. She sent them upstairs to change out of their grass-stained clothing before going into the sitting room to check on a few of the others. Nat and Lottie were still cozied up on the couch in front of a movie where she'd left them, Mari half-paying attention as she flipped through a graphic novel on the other end of the couch. Jackie was playing quietly with her little animal figurines in the corner, talking to herself as she moved them around.

Mel counted off in her head, making sure she'd accounted for everyone. Van, Tai, Shauna, and Laura Lee had gone out earlier to take care of Something Very Important, which meant she was in charge of the house.

Van and Laura Lee had already been fully out the door when Tai had caught Mel by the shoulder and asked if she was feeling up to watching over the littles that day, because it would be such a big help and it wouldn't be for too long. Not wanting to disappoint Tai, she'd agreed easily, but she was starting to wish that she hadn't as Lottie raised her arms when she caught sight of Mel, silently asking for a cuddle.

"I'll be right back, Lot, I gotta check on something real quick," she said apologetically. Lottie pouted, but it quickly dissolved when Nat scooted closer, pulling Lottie against her side.

Mel backed out of the room, satisfied that no one was at immediate risk of injury or illness and made a beeline for one of their many flip-phones that got passed around as needed. She was relieved when the screen blinked with a message.

Hang tite. Home in 20 - V

She could do twenty minutes.

Gen and Akilah came back downstairs, finding Mel in the kitchen quickly. Akilah was still eyeing Mel's arm anxiously, noting the way the blonde kept it pressed up against her chest, avoiding moving it.

"Snack time?" Mel asked, giving them a weak smile.

It got them excited enough to stop staring at her like she was about to break apart and she let them each pick a bagged snack from the pantry, realizing belatedly that she should probably offer one to the girls in the other room as well.

She regretted it almost instantly when Nat held up her bag of Goldfish to Mel, quietly asking for help tearing it open.

"Sure, bud," she replied, wracking her brain wildly as she took it. Mari, of all people, came to her rescue as she leaped up from her spot, nearly sending her own back of snacks flying.

"I can do it!" She cried, always eager for an opportunity to prove how strong and grown-up she was. Mel forked the bag over and was relieved when Mari managed to get the snack open without spilling any and passed it back to Nat with a triumphant grin.

The snacks took up about a half an hour, but the others still weren't home. Mel single-handedly dug the phone out of her back pocket where she'd stowed it and bit back a groan at the message.

Traffic. U ok? - V

She fumbled with the phone for a minute, trying to type out a response, but her hand was a little shaky and she had to give up after hitting the wrong button so many times that her one-word response was somehow unreadable.

Lottie really needed to go down for a nap soon and by the looks of it, both Nat and Akilah could use one too. Maybe even Jackie, Mel mused as she watched her tuck all her figurines into little beds made craftily from tissues.

She could do that single-handedly. Probably.

Her arm twinged something fierce when she tried to wiggle her fingers and she winced.

After mulling it over for another minute, she decided against it. She'd just get everyone down for a nap on the couches, pretending it was a fun kind of sleepover game.

She announced her idea, which resulted in everyone wanting to participate, even Mari.

"Okay, everyone grab a blanket then," she called, pulling their basket of various blankets and soft things out from under the coffee table. The girls flocked over, each picking out their favored blanket. Nat snatched a purple one for Lottie while Gen and Akilah bickered over a flower-print one for a long moment before opting to just share it, saving Mel the trouble of breaking them up.

She fetched a soother for Lottie and lied about being out of juice to the others so she wouldn't have to worry about cleaning up any accidents. She flipped on the sound machine in the corner of the room to the universally agreed upon brown noise and dimmed the lights, breathing out a sigh of relief when the room went quiet and stayed that way.

She eased herself down to the ground, tipping her head back against the armrest of the couch, praying that the others would be home soon.

Her prayers were answered in what felt like seconds, but she realized must've been longer as she blinked awake to Van kneeling in front of her.

"Mel," she was saying, quietly so as not to wake the others. "We're home."

"Hi," she mumbled, confused as to why something felt off. She went to push herself upright a little more and oh, there it was. White-hot pain shot through her arm as she tried to pick it up off her chest and she gasped, eyes watering as she slammed them shut again, her other arm coming up to steady herself.

"Woah, hey," Van murmured.

Mel opened her eyes. "I'm fine."

"Mel—"

"I'm fine," she repeated, slowly shifting to use her good hand to stand up. Van followed her out of the sitting room and into the kitchen, eyes still heavy with concern.

"Hey, nice job getting everyone to sleep," Tai praised as she came into the room, clapping Mel on the back good-naturedly. She wanted to thank Tai, but the motion had jostled her arm painfully and Mel was rapidly reaching her pain tolerance threshold. Van's eyes boring into her, still warm and concerned, were her last straw and she felt the sob bubbling up in her chest more than she heard it.

"Okay, hey," Van's voice sounded in her ear suddenly, an arm sliding around her waist to support her, careful to avoid knocking her arm. "I gotcha, Mel."

"Shit, what the hell?" Shauna was speaking from somewhere over Mel's shoulder, but her world had become a haze of pain and tears and she couldn't pinpoint exactly where. Another sob rocketed out of her.

"Her arm." Van again, close by her ear. She tried to lean into her, yelping when her own movement pressed her arm against her chest painfully and she felt a hand close around the back of her neck gently. "She's guarding it."

The sound of keys jingling and she was being guided forward, someone's hands on her feet as they slid them into a pair of shoes. A jacket was draped over her shoulders.

"I'll drive," Tai said.

Drive where? Mel wondered vaguely, sniffling as the hand on her neck directed her into the backseat of a car. She felt Van pull away from her side and whined in protest, throwing her good arm out to try and catch her. She hit something warm and solid.

"Oof, careful, bud," Van murmured, suddenly back by her side. She slid an arm around Mel's shoulders carefully once she'd gotten the blonde buckled, allowing her to rest her head against her shoulder. "Mel, you with us?"

"Uh-huh," she replied, sniffling. The world was starting to feel a little more stable again, now that the pain in her arm had faded to a dull throb and not a dizzying ache.

"We're going to the hospital, kiddo," Van explained, shushing Mel when she whined in protest. "I know, I know. It's okay."

The drive to the hospital felt all too short for Mel, who wanted to be anywhere but there. She tried to pull herself together as they walked inside, drying her tears on her sleeve as she let Van do the talking to the lady at the desk.

Van handed the paperwork off to Tai, who sat down on Mel's other side as they found seats in the corner of the waiting area, half-hidden by a huge fake plant. Mel dropped her head back down against Van's shoulder, clenching her fist in her lap so she wouldn't bring it up to her mouth.

Tai coaxed a few answers for the paperwork out of her, but was mostly able to fill it out by herself, clicking the pen shut when she was done and handing the clipboard to Van.

They waited for what felt like forever. Mel flipped confusingly between being incredibly bored and almost unbearably anxious, which did little to help her frazzled brain settle. Van told her story after story, making up silly backstories for some of the people they saw walking past them. She let Mel doodle on her arm with the pen for a while and then made her close her eyes and guess the words she traced into Mel's palm with a finger, which Mel got a little kick out of. She tried to do it back to Van, but Van wasn't so great at spelling and got it wrong every time, which made Mel giggle. She was pretty sure Van was doing it on purpose after a while, because it would be super hard to mistake the word apple for the word fart.

Finally, Mel heard her name being called by a nurse and she stood up before hesitating, thinking she was going to have to go back alone. She was seconds away from bursting into tears when she realized Van had stood up too and had placed a hand on the small of her back, guiding her towards the nurse.

"We're cousins," Van told the nurse matter-of-factly, which Mel supposed was believable enough because the nurse allowed the redhead to go back with her, much to her relief.

They were left alone in a different room for a while before a man came in to take Mel down the hall. She was given a heavy apron to wear and had to bite back her pained groans when he moved her injured arm to get a good X-ray. He talked all the way through it, which she tried to nod along to to make it seem like she was listening, but she was much more focused on how much her arm hurt and how much she wished Van were with her.

She finally got to go back to the room where Van was waiting and collapsed into the chair beside her.

"It hurts," she whimpered once they were alone again and Van nodded sympathetically.

"I'm sure. You're being so brave, though," she replied, squeezing Mel's knee.

She didn't have time to linger on it much longer because the door swung open again and a different woman came in wielding a few sheets of glossy paper. She pointed at the papers and talked at them for a while. Most of what she said flew right over Mel's head, but she knew Van was paying attention, so she just kept nodding along and humming in what seemed like the right places.

The lady left again and Van turned to her.

"You fractured your arm in two places, buddy," she explained, sounding sad as she brushed some hair away from Mel's face. "You're gonna get a cast to help fix it, okay?"

She very staunchly did not cry when two nurses came in with a bunch of stuff on a cart and made her straighten her arm out. They made conversation with Van as they worked on Mel's arm, which she was glad for, because the sound of Van's voice kept her from breaking down in tears as she felt the icky feeling of plaster drying against her skin.

"—color you want?"

One of the nurses was talking to her, she realized, and she prayed her voice would come out normal when she tried it.

"Uh, green, please."

Van flashed her a double-thumbs up and she relaxed a little as more fabric was wound around her arm, brushed over again with the weird goo that was supposed to keep it all together. She kinda zoned out as the nurses finished up, distracted by the now strangely-rhythmic pulses of pain that went through her arm. Before she knew it, she was being prompted up out of her chair and her jacket was being draped around her shoulders again as Van led her down the too-white hallway.

She was relieved when they exited into the waiting room instead of more doctor-y looking places and went to stand with Tai as Van did something at a different desk.

"Cool cast, sweetie," Tai murmured.

Mel held it up so she could get a better look.

"It's green."

"I see that," Tai chuckled, straightening her jacket where it slipped off Mel's shoulder. "We'll have to get some markers so everyone can sign it."

Van rejoined them and they trooped back out to the car. It was dark now, which made Mel feel very sleepy and she was glad she didn't even have to ask for Van to sit in the backseat with her on the ride home. The redhead just climbed in beside her like she could read her mind. She relaxed against Van's side, her eyes feeling heavy as Tai started the car. They were talking and she tried to pay attention to their conversation, just in case it was about her.

"—do ibuprofen and acetaminophen for the pain, but showering will be a bit of a hassle," Van was saying,

"It must've happened pretty soon after we left," Tai replied.

Mel let out a hum of agreement and felt Van's hand stroke over her hair in response.

"We'll have to ask one of the others. I'm sure someone knows."

She wondered vaguely if Gen would say it was her fault. She hoped she wouldn't, but if she did, Mel would be able to set the record straight.

"—poor kiddo."

She tuned back in just in time to catch the end of whatever Tai had been saying.

"You did so good though, huh?" Van asked, and Mel was pretty sure that she was talking to her, so she tried to nod against Van's shoulder in reply.

"She out?" Tai again.

"I think mostly," Van responded.

Mel felt herself being shifted a little as Van moved and she whined in protest, relaxing again when the movement stopped.

"Not quite all the way there." Van sounded amused and Mel wished they'd all just stop talking so she could stop listening and just go to sleep.

Tai was saying something else, but she decided she didn't quite have the energy to figure out what it was, especially not with Van running her hand over the top of her head like that.

The motion of the car aided Mel's slow descent into sleep and before she knew it, she'd dozed off completely, conked out before they'd even gotten halfway home.

I'm not sure why I decided they don't have anything past early 2000s tech, but that's what we're rocking with. I hope you enjoyed!

[lavendergardenwrites]

Like I Always Do (s.o. x fem!reader)

pairing: sam obisanya x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

warnings: language (it's ted lasso), use of 'my girl'

a/n: ahh! first time writing for my favourite boy!! i hope y'all like this and don't mind the fact that i clearly know nothing about football, i'm trying my best!!

“Come on Sam!” You call from your place in the owner’s box, Keeley gripping your hand that wasn’t acting as a megaphone. There’s a few minutes left on the clock and both teams have yet to score a goal. The boys are weaving through each other on the pitch, trying desperately to dodge between the opposing players. It’s just started raining and you mutter a curse to the universe under your breath for England’s reliably shitty weather.

“Oh for God’s sake, we just need one goal!” Rebecca sighs from beside Keeley, readjusting the Richmond beanie that held down her hair. Zoreaux throws the ball from his spot on one end, and Sam’s quick to claim it, bouncing it off his knee before kicking it over to Danny. You’d be lying if you said you knew much about football, but from what you do know, this setup looks pretty damn good. 

“Let’s go Richmond!” Higgins calls from behind you, and you can’t help but smile as this is the most high energy and carefree you’d ever seen this man. 

“Babes, you’re gonna squeeze my hand off,” Keeley comments to you as you had turned your focus back to the game, quickly becoming very concerned with the state of it. 

“Oh sorry,” you apologise, loosening your grip with the intention of letting go entirely, but Keeley weaves her fingers through yours, keeping your hand exactly where it is. 

In quite an elegant move from Danny, he twists his body and kicks his leg over the other, shooting the ball straight to the goal. While you could hear the Richmond fans all collectively take a quick breath, it seems too good to be true. Your fears are unfortunately proven accurate as the opposing goalkeeper sweeps the ball away from the netted end, pushing it back onto the pitch with his gloved hands. The crowd splits into a round of sighs and cheers as they either celebrate or mourn the moment for their team. 

“Fucking shit,” Rebecca curses, fidgeting with the bracelet adorning her left wrist. Isaac makes a call, shouting a combination of words that only makes sense to them and they get in a new formation. Jamie runs to basically lean against the opposing team’s players, no doubt muttering something to get in their heads as the boys get ready behind him. They’re soon off again and you’re eyeing Sam the entire time. He’d been so in his head before this that you knew he was stressing like crazy right now. The game is tense and you know he’s trying his hardest, but that self doubt does unfortunate wonders on someone’s self esteem. 

“You’ve got it Sam!” You cheer again, and this time he hears you, looking up at the owner’s box, giving you a warm but small smile and a thumbs up. 

“You’re not biassed at all, are you?” Keeley teases as she looks between you and Sam. 

“And what if I am? You’re the same way for Mister ‘he’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where’ Roy Kent,” You shrug with a squeeze to her hand. 

“Never said it was a bad thing babe,” Keeley replies, shaking her head. 

The crowd starts cheering in unison as the ball gets passed back and forth across the pitch. It gets passed to Sam and the goal is somehow left wide open. This seems almost too miraculous, but you try not to doubt and instead focus on the magic that might be about to happen. Sam claims the ball once again and keeps running forward with it, dribbling it past the opposing players. The stadium waits with bated breath and the tension in the crowd could be cut with a knife. With the looming clock ticking down its last seconds, Sam kicks the ball straight toward the goal, swiftly pushing it past the goalkeeper, making the score 1-1. The timer buzzes loudly, signifying the end of the game, and Richmond has done it. They end with the tie they needed and the fans go wild. 

“With a clean goal from Obisanya, the game ends with a tie!” The announcer repeats into his microphone, as the team runs to hug each other. You and Keeley stand up, exploding with joy as you hug each other tightly, Rebecca turning to hug Higgins from behind her. The fans start to storm the pitch, and everyone is quick to exit the owner’s box, wanting to join in on all the fun. Rain be damned, nothing is going to stop you from celebrating. You search the sea of people for your boyfriend, who pushes Jamie off his back when he sees you. 

“Go get your girl mate,” Jamie smiles, patting Sam lovingly on the back before turning to Isaac and celebrating with him. 

“Y/N!” Sam calls, waving his arms to get your attention. Your smile grows as you spot him, running at full speed, though trying not to slip on the damp grass. His arms open as he meets you halfway, catching you as you hurdle into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. He picks you up lightly, both of you laughing, and spins you around before putting you back down.

“That was fucking amazing!” You praise. “Oh my God, the tension in the crowd was insane but you absolutely fucking killed it!” You tighten your grip on your boyfriend, unable to keep the smile off your face. 

“Hearing you cheer really helped,” he comments as you pull back slightly to look at him. 

“Yeah, might have been a bit aggressive up there. Almost took Keeley’s hand off with how hard I was squeezing”. 

Sam laughs, lightly grabbing the sides of your face and pulling you in for a kiss. The cheers of the fans still on the pitch fade away to background noise as you immediately kiss back, putting all the remaining adrenaline into it. You’re so proud of him and you want him to know it every chance you get. When you two pull away, Sam grabs your hand, twirling you around before settling you back to face him. 

“What was that for?” You ask, a confused look in your eyes. 

“Just wanted to get a good look at you in my number”. It had become custom for you to wear a shirt with Sam’s famous ‘24’ on the back and he loves it every time. 

“My one and only,” you reply, “now come on, this rain is starting to soak through my shoes”. You pull the two of you closer to the exit, but you don’t get too far before Sam’s picking you up and carrying you bridal style across the rest of the pitch. “Sam! Put me down!” You slap his arm lightly before gripping his neck, not wanting to fall. 

“Do not worry, I’ve got you. Like I always do”.

[petrifiedperi-au]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALMOST 60 FOLLOWERS IN SUCH A SHORT TIME! Guess what I did in celebration? Ehehehe, I wrote a one-shot!

LINK TO THE FIC ON AO3 IS HERE, BUT BUT BUT it's also right below the cut! I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!! :D

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Squirt?" Wanda glances up at Hazel from her spot on the bag, eyebrows raised.  "I mean, I get that you're worried," she continues, "but it's only been a few days, you know, maybe—"

"Come on, Wanda!" Hazel pouts, "he's not just gonna SKIP school like that! It's been TWO days! TWO!" She counts the number on her fingers, before throwing her arms to the side dramatically, "that's one too many!" A moment of silence follows, before she drops them and goes to knock on the door, again. 

"Really?" Cosmo wriggles around in his spot and glances at Wanda, before looking in the direction of the door. "I thought that was TWO too many." The kid hums and sways back and forth on the balls of her feet as she waits for an answer, "I've NEVER seen him miss school before!" 

A low hum echos from inside the house, and Hazel stares up at it, before letting out a long, dramatic sigh. "I mean, SURE, he'd miss ONE day. It makes SENSE after the whole, you knoooowwww..." She says, gesturing her hand in the air vaguely, "taking over Fairy World with Irep thing and all. But TWO days?! That's TOO suspicious. Too WEIRD..."

"Woooowwww, that's a lot of too two's." Hazel glances down at Cosmo as he speaks, and she huffs, "yeah. And I'm gonna get to the BOTTOM of this. Even if it takes me ALLLLLL night!"

"Don't you think that's a bit much, Kiddo?" Wanda tilts her head— or her body, rather— as her movements are very limited when shifted into something as small as a fidget toy. "I mean, your parents might get worried if you stay out here for too long!" Cosmo gasps and chimes in, "oooh! Like a sleepover! Except we're outside... and not inside. And we're waiting for Dev to answer the door. Whiiiicchhhhhh he might never do."

Hazel taps her chin, thinking, "you're right, Wanda!" She raises her finger as she goes to say the magic word, and the two fairies give each other a worried glance; "oh boy," Wanda mutters, "I don't like the sound of this one..."

"Cosmo! Wanda! I wish—" The door clicks open, and the music that was dramatically building up in the background skrrrts to a stop; gasping, she lets out a gleeful, "nevermind!" There's a sigh in relief, and Cosmo breathes out, "wooowwww, that was a close one! I reaallyyyyy thought we were going to have to sleep outside. Under this big, tall house. Alone..." He shudders, "in the dark!"

"Heeyyyyy, Dev!" She sways back and forth as she speaks, "I was jusssttttt... coming in to check up on you! See how you were holding up since, uhhh, you know..." There's a pause, and she falls silent as the realization dawns on her that he might not remember the events that happened just a few days ago.

"What is it, Hairtie?" Dev leans against the doorframe as it opens the rest of the way; he avoids eye contact with her, but it's unnoticeable through his fresh, new pair of sunglasses. Wait… are they new...? Hazel squints at them as she replies with a winced, "riiiiiggghhhttttttttt... you never call me my name. Well," she continues, opting to correct him, "it's Hazel, for one."

"Whatever, Harmonica" he huffs, his tone tense, "what do you want." He waves his hand in the air dismissively as he continues, "and DON'T say you're here just to 'be here.' NOBODY comes here just to be here—" His voice cracks, and he clears his throat, before breaking into a sudden, suspiciously fake-sounding coughing fit. Hazel blinks and takes a step back, averting her gaze, and muttering a slightly concerned, "okaaaayyyyyyy... that's new. Arrreeeeee… you doing okay, Dev? You look a little… uh…”

“I look a little what?” Dev hisses through clenched teeth, “dumb?” His voice comes out a lot harsher than intended as it tears through his throat, “like a disappointment?” He stuffs his trembling fists into the pockets of his hoodie and lets out a strained chuckle, which he masks as another cough; “like a—”

“What the heck?! No—! Dev— DEV!!!” She grabs his shoulders on impulse. “Don't TOUCH ME, HARPOON!” He shoves her away from him and steps back, breaths picking up a bit of pace; they're hot and a bit wheezy, and a surge of chest-heavy guilt fills the pit that sits in the depths of his stomach. Hazel lets out a quiet “ow” as she hits the pavement, and the silence that follows is almost… deafening. A low ringing fills his ears, and he moves his hands to clutch them, groaning. 

Hazel sticks her tongue out in discomfort, and she glances down at the two on her bag. “Is it just me, or are his ears ringing so loud that I can hear them?” Silence follows— outside of the growingly obnoxious ringing— before Cosmo responds, “OOOOOHHHHH!!! That's my water alarm!” 

“Ooh! You mean for our house plants?” Wanda wiggles excitedly and leans in closer to him, “I'm so glad you set one up for those! You know, I think I replaced them with plastic ones a while ago—” 

“What?” Cosmo turns to her as a water bottle appears in his non-existent fidget-toy hands; it's a basic, plastic one, with a mini, old-fashioned alarm clock stuffed inside. Wanda raises an eyebrow, before she snorts out, “well, that sure explains it!"

“Guys—!” Hazel whines, her voice hushed, “not now, please!” 

“Ooh, sorry, Squirt!” Wanda nudges Cosmo, and he sticks out his tongue, replying, “oohh, yeah, sorry Hazel! I forgot we were camping out at Dev's.” He shakes the bottle before poofing it away in a magical cloud of dust, and he and his wife turn to look at Dev, who stands there; tense, as he pulls his hands away from his ears.

“We're not—” Hazel winces, before sighing, “nevermind,” as she pushes herself up to stand. The Dimmadome looks away with a huff, and the former continues her previous thought; “look, Dev! I don't know why you're being such a big jerk—”

“Uh-Huh. Rub it in my face, why don't you. As if you have nothing better to do.” He leans against the doorframe, keeping one hand in his pocket.

“—Buuuuttttttt, that's not why I’m here!” She gives him a smile, but it wavers as she starts to get a good look at his demeanor. Has his hair always been this… messy? Annndddd… did his voice always sound this, err, shaky…? Tilting her head, her tone grows more quiet and concerned as she continues, “I just came to see why you haven't been at school.”

“You're joking.” 

Hazel shakes her head, “no, look—”

“It's because of school?”

“Weeeeellllllll, yes.” She pauses for a moment as she watches him move away from the door with a huffed breath. “Buuuutttttt… actually, no. I wanted to come and make sure you were okay. Cause, I mean,” she chuckles, “you're not going to miss TWO whole days, right? One, maybbbeeee, but TWO?”

Dev furrows his eyebrows as he steps closer towards her, stuffing his other hand back into the hoodie. “Why wouldn't I? School is dumb,” he says, nearly choking over his words as his throat goes dry, “and I don’t NEED to go.” Hazel blinks, slowly, eyeing his movements, as she thinks of an answer. “Well,” she responds, tapping her chin, “that's two days of not making fun of me! And calling me names!” She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow, continuing, “which I think is two days too many, for you.”

“She's got a point there,” Wanda mutters to herself as she narrows her eyes at Dev; he wheezes out a breath as he responds, sarcastically, “woooowww. You must think you're soooo smart.” He waves his hands in the air for emphasis, but much like everything else, the gesture seems… off. Tense, maybe? Way more than usual, at least. His voice falls flat and he drops his arms as he responds, “did you figure it out with the help of your faiirriiieeesssss?”

“Oh.” 

It takes her a minute to fully process, and once she does, it's like ten pounds of bricks on her shoulders. “Oh.”

Panic sets in, and she whispers, “oooohhhhhhh my god.” Cosmo and Wanda glance up at her as she throws her arms to the side, but she speaks before they can get a word in; “ooohhh noooo, Deeevvvvvvvv!!!” She whines, “why didn't you TELL me you still remembered all of that?! I thought you FORGOT!”

He steps back, startled, before clenching his fists and scrunching his nose. His attempt to hide his voice crack falters, but he tries to sound as monotone as possible as he responds, “yeah. I do. So what? It's not like it matters, Hazel.”

“I get it,” she sighs, “you're upset about losing Peri as your Fairy Godparent.” She gives him a tense smile in an attempt to make him feel less bad, but he only stares at her, silently; an unhappy feeling bubbles inside of him that he doesn't know the word for. Anger, maybe? Frustration? None of those feel right… It feels more complicated than that. More… guilty. His hands tremble as he takes a step back, chest rising and falling heavily as his breaths pick up a bit of pace.

The nerve. THE AUDACITY. The NERVE and the AUDACITY that Ham Sandwich has to just show up, to HIS HOUSE, and tell him about how HE feels. A rush of adrenaline surges through his body, and he snaps, “why do YOU even care?! He was MY fairy, not YOURS!” 

“Dev!” Horseradish takes a step back and shakes her head, “that's not what I mean—”

His heart pounds against his chest, and he snorts out a strained laugh as a sob tears its way through his throat. “I can't BELIEVE you'd come here just to rub it in my FACE,” he chokes, “you and your TWO fairies and me and my— my— uUGGHHHH—!” He cuts himself off and throws his arms into the air in frustration with a groan. “WHATEVER!”

“Dev—!” 

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, HARDHAT!” 

The door slams shut in Hazel’s face before she can say another word, and she stands there, mouth agape. She drops her arms to her sides and stares, silent, foooorrrrrrr… she doesn't know. A few minutes, probably; to her, though it feels like hours. All she mutters is a quiet, defeated, “oh.”

“Aww, don't feel bad, Squirt!” Wanda poofs up next to her— no longer shifted— and reaches down to ruffle her hair. Hazel peeks up at her, tears threatening to spill from her big, beady eyes. She wipes her face with her sleeve, whimpering, “why's he always gotta be so mean…”

“He's not mean! He's just Dev!” Cosmo appears next to Wanda, arms outstretched; “and Dev is, uhhhhh…” He pauses, thinking, before shrugging, “I dunno! Wandaaa, what is he again?”

“Ooohh, how do I word this…” She swirls her wand around in the air as she speaks, “he's a good kid! He just… you know, doesn't deal well with all those feelings he has. Right?” Hazel looks between her and Cosmo, and the latter chimes in with a simple, “yeah! And he probaablllyyyyy just likes to take things out on other people, you knooowwww, because that's the only way he knows how.”

“...Yeah,” Hazel says, sniffling, “yeah! You guys are right!” Her voice cracks, but she doesn't pay much mind to it. 

“Wait. What are we right about?” Cosmo looks down and squints at the smudged sharpie on his hand. The Godkid hums, “about Dev! And how he takes his feelings out on other people! It makes SO much sense!” She paces back and forth across the ground as she rambles, “I mean, it shouldn't be THAT much of a surprise, but come on, it’s DEV FREAKING DIMMADOME we're talking about, he's like, always trying to—”

Cosmo and Wanda glance at each other as she goes on, smiles stretching across their faces. “Well,” the latter states, placing her hands on her hips, “tonight sure was something!” The former nods in agreement, “yeaaahhhh. First, there was a BIIIIGGGGG pasta fight at school,” he says, counting the events on his fingers, “and then Hazel came down to check up on Dev, annd theeennnn—”

“Cosmo! Wanda!” Hazel, finally finished with her rambles, calls out to them as she catches her breath. “I wish—" she wheezes, “I wish I was back home—!” She collapses and lands face-first into the pavement with a splat!, and the two startle and snap their gaze in her direction.

“Hazel—!” 

“I'm okay!” Her voice stays muffled as she remains face-down, and a sigh of relief follows; “well, kiddo,” Wanda replies, raising her wand, “let’s get you out of here!” 

. . . . . .

Dev presses his back against the door as he sinks to his knees, mind racing at millions of miles an hour. He digs his fingers into his scalp, breathing in and out heavily as his head pounds and aches; it's like it's being squeezed by water, except there's no water, and he's all alone, with nobody except himself and his thoughts. His STUPID, STUPID thoughts… There were so many. Oh, God, there's so many… 

“UGH!!! STUPID HAZEL!!!” He yells up at the ceiling and throws his head against the door, which is followed by immediate retaliation. “Ow, ow, ow ow ow, oooowwwwwww…” His sunglasses slide off his face and hit the ground with a thunk, and he chokes on a sob that doesn't quite come out. “Stupid, STUPID,” he mutters under his breath as he sinks to the floor, “I'm so stupid…”

A chill runs down Dev's spine, and he pulls the hood over his head at both the sensation and the horrible feelings bubbling up inside of him. Of COURSE Hazel came to check up on him, of COURSE she HAD to bring her fairies. Why WOULDN’T she have? They're CLEARLY her only friends, her only two, stupid, stupid friends. 

“Hhhhhh…”

“Dev?!”

In an instant, everything stops. All of Dev's feelings and thoughts flutter and melt away at the presence, and he lets out a grunt as he attempts to push himself up. He fails; only getting up to his knees before he collapses back down, again. “Uughhhh…” 

“Dev! What are you doing!?” Panic floods Peri's tone as they flutter down to his height; a few lingering pieces of confetti fly out of their mouth and land on the ground next to them. He groans, voice muffled, “don't you have somewhere to be.”

“No—” They cut themself off, wincing, before continuing, “eehhhhhh, well, I found the Ginger Ale you were talking about— it was way down in the back of the fridge actually, but— wait—” A pause follows, and the fairy clasps a hand over his mouth as he suppresses the urge to barf up a barrage of rainbows. It takes him a minute to gain his composure, and he sighs in relief, before bringing his attention back to the kid in front of him. 

“Great. Cool.” Dev rubs his face with the sleeve of his jacket, struggling to see through the tears clouding his vision. “Now leave me alone. Do…” He waves his hand in the air dismissively, “whatever. Or something.” His chest remains heavy, and he hiccups silently, finally managing to pull himself to his knees. 

“Dev…” Peri floats down to eye-level and sets their soda can on the floor next to them. A wince forms in his expression at the kid’s state, and he lets out a sigh, before responding, “you know I can't do that! As your Fairy Godparent, it's my job to keep you company! Annnnndddddd… grant your wishes. Wheeennnnnnn… my wand stops messing up.”

The Godkid cringes and looks away, eyes burning from the tears that threaten to spill. …More than they already have, anyway. God, he hates crying. So much. So, SO much. It makes his face feel all hot and sticky and wet and… gross. “Yeah, right,” he scoffs, reaching over to pick up his shades off the floor, “like you didn't already try that earlier.”

“Riggghhhhtttttttt…”

An awkward moment of silence follows as the two sit there, tense. The low humming of air conditioners is the only thing breaking it— that, and Peri’s gurgling stomach. He cringes and moves to clutch it, and Dev slides the sunglasses onto his face with a sigh. “I'll be up in my room if you need me,” he says, pushing his hand up against the wall for support, “or if I need you, I guess.”

Peri snaps out of their static-filled thoughts and jolts up, shouting, “wait, Dev!” Despite not even taking two steps, he slowly turns towards them; he avoids eye contact, responding with a dry, “what is it?"

Another moment of silence follows before Peri opens up their arms with an uncertain, “dooooo… you want a hug before you go? Up to your room, I mean. Cause, you knoooowwwww, you've had a long day and— WHOA—!” They fall to the floor as Dev practically tackles them, hiccuping and sniffling quietly as he takes the offer. 

It takes the fairy a second to process, and they give him a genuine, but slightly tense, smile. Dev trembles as he melts into their grasp; Peri is cold, he notices… or maybe he was always cold? Not like it matters much anyway. They sigh in relief as they hug him back; and he mutters a weak, “you're like a freaking ice block, Peri…” 

...

“Wait. …What?”

[xoxo-sarah]

Hi Sarah! First I wanted to say love the theme of your page rn it's so cute!

Secondly I wanted to ask if you could write a Robin Buckley x reader fic where reader is bestfriends with Chrissy and they're arguing about if Robin likes girls or not. (Chrissy thinks so, reader does not.) Chrissys like "bet I'm gonna prove it to you," and readers like "ok whatever." Later that night at the game, Chrissy turns around and winks at Robin, she loses her shit over it! Shes blushing and everything. Reader sees this, and is like wtf did I just witness? After the game, Chrissy and reader are heading to a party and reader is pouting and avoiding eye contact with Chrissy when she asks about it at first readers like I'm fine but when chrissy pushes she says she didn't think chrissy would actually prove it and now she thinks Robin's gonna be in love with Chrissy now, Chrissy has seen Robin look at reader the same way many times so she just laughs and teases Reader about her being jealous. When they get to the party, Chrissy tells reader this is her chance since she knows she likes girls, so reader finds Robin and spends the whole party with her, Robin ends up getting drunk and calls reader her girlfriend, reader panics and decides it's time to go home but she cant leave Robin so Chrissy drops them off at readers house and reader decides to tell Robin how she feels another time.

Sorry i know this request is long so feel free to change it but I saw a pinterest post, and made me think of the first part (everything before the party)! Thank you :)

Maybe another time

↝a/n: thank you! I really enjoyed this theme as well. And thank you for requesting.

↝pairing: Robin Buckley x fem!reader

↝ Warning: partying, underage drinking, alcohol, pinning, jealousy (?), Angst?, Not proofread

↝⎙ 10.9.23

"She doesn't!"

"How do you know?!"

This argument has been going on for 20 minutes now. It was back and forth, one trying to make the other realize and the other being too stubborn. In reality, they were supposed to be rushing to get ready for the game. Both of them have been too busy trying to prove that they were right, that neither of them were fully dressed in the cheerleading uniforms.

"Whatever," Chrissy continued to fix her hair in the bathroom mirror, catching your scolding eyes. The green ribbons make her makeup pop. "So what if she likes girls-which she clearly does- or not? It wouldn't hurt to find out for yourself. Ask her."

"Chrissy, you can't just go up to someone and ask stuff like that. "

She turned, looking at you with a thoughtful look in her eyes, until her lip quirked up, her eyes now holding a mischievous tint.

"Fine, I'll figure it out for you. If I'm wrong, then I'll be the one who looks like a fool."

"What are you going to do?" The school-colored sock slapped against your calf as you let go of it, confused by your best friend.

"You'll see after we win this game."

Without another word, she turned back, poking and prodding at the blush smeared on her cheeks.

"Only if we win." You sighed.

"Fine."

You quickly made your way to her, "Wait, no. It doesn't matter that much, you can't just-"

"I'm going to prove it. Robin Buckley likes girls, specifically you."

"No she doesn't."

"Yes, she does."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yessss." She singsonged.

"Okay, whatever."

Oh, here we go again.

You stared at the scoreboard. As of right now, it was tied. The cheers seemed to of come to a halt as Jason passed the ball to one of his teammates. Everyone was on the edge of their seat. The other teamed tried to guard, but the ball flew through the air, straight into another guy's hands. The guy was quick to throw it at the hoop. It bounced off the backboard, swiveling around the ring, before falling down into the net.

Everyone broke out in cheers. Your fellow cheerleaders raddled their pom-poms, celebrating the winning team.

You turned, seeing Chrissy turn towards the stands. Before you could stop her, he was winking up at Robin.

First, Robin had smiled at Chrissy, seeing that she was looking at her. But as Chrissy winked, Robin gawked, quick looking around her. She shyly pointed at herself, cheeks ablaze in a deep red. Chrissy nodded, watching how it affected the poor girl. As Robin looked down, flushed, Chrissy turned back around, catching your eye. You looked away, eyebrows furrowed.

Chrissy stared at you as you two sat in the back seat of Marci, another cheerleader's car. The car had 3 rows, and you two were pushed to the very back, away from the high-pitched squealing.

"What is it?"

You looked away from the window, blankly looking at her. "What?" You ask.

"What is up with you? You've been quiet the whole ride."

"I'm fine." You just wanted to drop it.

"No, you're not. We won, why aren't you happy?"

"Why did you pull that little stunt?"

She stared at you for a moment. " Are you jealous?"

"No!" You lowered your voice, "No, I'm not jealous. That would be stupid."

It would be stupid. You know what else would be stupid? Robin thinking about that stunt and considering it more than your friend trying to prove a point. What if Robin starts thinking about Chrissy? Of course that would happen.

She nodded, still staring, "Yeah, so stupid." There wasn't a reason for you to be jealous. Not only did Chrissy have a boyfriend, she had seen the way Robin looks at you. Once, she had caught Robin staring at you after you had gotten all dolled up for a different game. Robin had looked at you with such adoration. There was no doubt in Chrissy's mind that Robin was fond of you.

The party wasn't anything special. It was the same as every other celebration. The parents of some kid were out of town, and what else was the kid supposed to do? Be responsible? No, of course not.

Sweat mixed with alcohol and weed wasn't a fun thing to experience.

From your seat on the stairs, your finger followed the ring of the cup that held a plain coke. Chrissy hummed the song that was raddling the house. She looked around, nearly jumping out of her skin as hands reached around her, hauling her down the steps. She giggled as she heard Jason's laugh. He kissed as her neck before acknowledging you.

"Find you know who. Have fun!" Was all she said before he dragged her off into the sea of people.

Sighing, you looked around.

It was easy to find Robin. She stood in the corner, talking to only a few people. You're pretty sure they're also in band.

Honestly, you doubt Robin or her friends would be here if the basketball team didn't just about threaten everyone to be here.

Maybe getting just coke was a bad idea. Liquid courage is what you need as you stand up, dodging people making their way up the stairs. You wiggled your way through the crowd, trying to hype yourself up.

Before you knew it, you stood in front of Robin, posture all weird looking. Her friends noticed you first. They smiled over Robin's shoulder, slightly waving. Robin noticed, turning around. The conversation died as her face dropped a little. "Hey. Y/n, right?"

"Ye-yeah."

Oh God. Let the floor swallow you whole right this instant. This was a bad idea. A terrible one, actually. Why did you even come over here? What were you thinking? This was stupid. You should turn around and walk straight out of the party, maybe even into traffi-

"Wanna go somewhere more quiet? I'm about to lose my hearing." Robin smiled, excusing herself from her friends. She began walking towards the kitchen, where the drinks were. Surprisingly, there were few people in there, and they didn't even seem to acknowledge you two.

Not one of you had said a word, standing in silence, waiting for the other to finally talk. What were you supposed to talk about?

"Did you see the guy's face when he made the shot?"

You thought back to the game, smiling as you remembered how the guy's face screwed up in itself, eyebrows scrunched, eye's squinting, lips pursed, and cheeks reddened from the play. You had to be there to actually see how funny it looked.

"He makes the same face every time."

Robin chuckled, "Yeah. Or when they lose and his whole face gets as red a tomato. The first time I saw it, I thought his head was about to explode."

A laugh was heard near the drinks. The same guy you two were talking about stood, refilling his cup. He chuckled, bringing his cup to his lips. "Who?"

Eyes wide, Robin shrugged. "Don't know his name."

"Sounds like a loser." You had to purse your lips from laughing. His cheeks were already rosy from the alcohol.

As he walked away, Robin slowly turned back around. As soon as you two locked eyes, you lost it. You both doubled over in laughter.

The night carried on for what felt like just a few minutes. You and Robin were chatting away. It was around midnight when people started leaving or falling asleep wherever they pleased. "It's getting late." You stated, not really wanting to leave her and end the conversation that flowed so naturally, but you needed to get home.

Robin took another sip, slurring something you couldn't understand.

Someone bumped into your shoulder, trying to get into the fridge. You dismissed them as they went to apologize.

"Sor-"

"Hey! Watch it! That's my girlfriend, you dick!" You and the random person stared at her outburst. Robin didn't seem phased, sipping away at her cup that was beyond empty. The person shrugged it off. She was just another drunk teenager in the hundreds of others.

You took the cup away from her, throwing it in a random trash bag someone sat down. "What did you just say?"

You put your hand out as she began to fall over, even with the counter being behind her. "What?" She slurred, "my girlfriend?"

"Yeah?"

She didn't answer and started playing with your shirt, finding the fabric fascinating.

You were quick to find Chrissy and tell her you wanted to go. Robin stayed on your arm the whole way. Chrissy got Jason to drop you both off at your house. Robin had complained about going home drunk, and you didn't want her to get yelled at or in trouble.

As you stumbled into your house, you led her towards your room. She looked through your room as you got dressed in the bathroom. As you opened the door, she looked at you, just stared. She continued to stare at you until you moved, grabbing a pillow and blanket off your bed and making a comfortable pallet on the floor.

Robin was quick to get under the blanket and relish in the warmth. "Goodnight, y/n."

You sighed, staring into the wall as you laid on your side, looking away from the bed. "Night, Robin."

Did she mean anything by it? What would sober Robin think of calling you her girlfriend? This isn't fair. Why did feelings have to be so hard.

She would remember it enough tomorrow to not make it even weirder if you ask about it, right? Hopefully. Tomorrow, it'll be the day you ask her about her feelings. Of the next day-or the next. Who knows? Tomorrow, for sure. Or…maybe another time. Any other time but now.

------------

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

Totally random question but I saw your post about the Fandom thinks that needed to die (Like toastgate and season four) and you mentioned the ball game and how both Joy and the writers misunderstood the rules.

I'm begging you to explain further bc I am as clueless as Joy

I’m so glad you asked because it’s about time I broke this down in writing. As an actor and theatre educator, I have it on good authority that they misunderstood this game because I play(ed) it all the time in my acting classes at the start of every session or rehearsal process.

It’s a simple ice breaker game that’s really designed to help the people playing the game learn their fellow players’ names (so it’s already strange that Ms. Valentine made them play this and wasn’t also playing it herself, since she’s the one who doesn’t know their names, but I digress).

The rules are as follows:

1. Players circle up or are otherwise in a position that allows them to see all the other people playing the game.

2. One person starts with the ball. They choose a person in the circle to throw the ball to.

3. They do not call the name of the person they are directly throwing the ball to; they do call the name of the person they want their target to throw the ball to.

Here’s an example of what that looks like: Let’s say John starts with the ball. He throws the ball to Jane, and calls out Joe’s name. Jane throws the ball to Joe, and calls out Suzie’s name. Joe throws it to Suzie, while calling out Harry’s name— and so on and so forth.

4. The game continues until everyone has the ball thrown to them, and it ends up back with the person who started the round.

So at first, the students are playing the game correctly, in this type of order. Things only start to go awry when someone (it was either Amber or Alfie… I think it was Amber) forgets that Patricia can’t speak because of the hex, and calls her name. Whoever throws it to Patricia (let’s say Alfie) calls out Fabian’s name and it gets thrown to her.

Since Patricia can’t talk she just throws it to Fabian, and starts gesticulating wildly at Joy because she assumes that he will obviously remember her name and will know who she’s referring to since they were all supposedly BFFs once.

This is where the writers must have taken a lunch break, because suddenly the rules of the game they’d been playing accurately up to this point go out the window. Because the scene obviously wants our takeaway to be that Fabian has forgotten Joy’s name and calls her Pam when he throws the ball to her, and she thinks he’s being a jerk. There’s supposed to be a misunderstanding, but not the misunderstanding they ended up actually writing.

Fabian does clock what Patricia is trying to say, and does throw it to Joy. Per the rules of the game, he’s supposed to call out someone else’s name when he throws it to Joy. Not say her name! He was still playing the game correctly when he called out “Pam!”

Now, we can assume there’s not actually a Pam in the class, so maybe that’s why Joy interpreted like he was calling her Pam. But according to the actual rules HE WAS NOT CALLING HER “PAM” AND SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN OFFENDED BY IT!!!!

Then again, the fact that this game is so confusing anyway, that we’re still trying to figure out what actually happened almost a decade later, means that they probably should have picked a different theatre game entirely for this scene. I can name like ten icebreakers off the top of my head that would get the exact same effect the writers were going for without the confusion.

So TL;DR: According to the established rules of this game, Fabian didn’t call Joy “Pam”, he called the name of whoever she was supposed to throw the ball to.

[tvlandofficiall]

seam ships ranking tierlist?

this is a little less of a tierlist and more of an unsorted assortment of the pairs i'm invested in, but;

SEAVIL

gamewise; i admit i will forever be most partial to the shopboss pairs because – in my humble opinion – they really have it ALL. seam watching jevil descend into madness and – rather than being horrified by it – being were so intrigued that even now what jevil had said in those moments of madness lingers deep within them. seam wishing they hadn't locked him up for that madness at all because he gave them more of a "purpose" than anything their fate or their status as "object" could offer them. the ambiguity as to whether they were even friends at all, or if it was solely their positions in the court and the thrill of the "numbers game" that kept them coming back to one another.

headcanonwise; the phrase "mutually unrequited love" made absolutely zero sense to me until i thought too hard about these two. they're both one another's "one that got away" – they both think they should've professed their love before jevil had to be locked up and think of one another almost like fleeting mirages (only worsened by having both seen the state of their being in the light world.)

SEAMSWATCH

what can i say? these two have absurd chemistry every time i do a writing "sketch" where they're the subjects. they're admittedly the relationship that's the most my own invention out of any of these, but i think there's a lot of really fascinating stuff you could do with them. they're both in the same position of having a shadow crystal holder that was close with them – seam is really the only person swatch can talk to about spamton now that they're in castle town. and too; what does seam know about the lightner that created neo through their hands? why are they so mysterious? just what was the crystal in neo? there's an interesting detective & them fatale (get it?) dynamic to be found there and their personalities are both so charged for it that i just can't get enough of them.

SEAMQUEEN

i'm honestly surprised these two didn't take off more after ch2 given mysterious past relationships seem to be the name of the game for deltarune fans. aside from said mysterious shared past though these two are classic character foils – queen believes wholeheartedly in her own mistaken assumptions about the machinations of this world and seam is by contrast so aware of said machinations and said world that they've given up on it near-entirely. just that alone provides a lot of fascinating ways the two can bounce off of one another; especially in snowgrave where the violence of queen's entire world being pulled out from under her becomes apparent to her. seam meanwhile knows that sort of thing is inevitable – one way or another queen's world would be destroyed and one way or another her people would be discarded. in fact, it's happened to them already! why worry? why not come stay with them a while? (and even in a normal route, consider they seem to know about other game files – would they know of a snowgrave file then? could they look with nothing but their own detatched fascination at an old friend who they far surpass in knowledge now? she seems to have been gone from the kingdom some time before jevil was locked away – or i think so, at least – and so she's no idea of just how much her old friend has changed.)

and on queen's end; i think she and the pandora palace crew are quite close, but i don't doubt she misses the old court crew, especially while she's first finding her footing as the sole ruler of cyber world. there's no way seam wasn't sneaking around with queen back when they were younger; they're the sort i think queen would have a blast just drinking and going back and forth with. she's the kind of person who prioritizes a good time (doesn't everyone?) and so seam – who's always had a layabout streak – is happy to take her side when trying to get the kings to throw grand balls or when she just wants to ditch 'em entirely. all in all very underexplored very classic yuri that deserves to have more than three posts in the tag in my humble (read: extremely biased) opinion.

SEAMKING

this is the one i would not say i "ship" but that i will say i think happened in the time between jevil being locked away and the knight arriving / all the kings being locked away / the remaining court members being fired. spades king spent many a night privately telling seam about his ire towards the kingdom's state of abandonment. seam was seam about it. they probably laughed mysteriously at him about it. he probably hated it. he probably liked it a little more than he'd like to like it. you know how it is.

[fernsnailz]

February 2024 Review Roundup

well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month

the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.

i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess

House of Leaves

does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king

House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.

I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again

Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)

ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes

9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.

Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan

I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.

Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king

10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.

Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.

Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.

My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.

My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious

oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.

Rebuild of Evangelion

Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”

APPARENTLY NOT

[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]

I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.

While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.

I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.

Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.

My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:

This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up

There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies

High School Musical 3

kinda slaps just a little bit

High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere

Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:

The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.

What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg

Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:

Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it

The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.

One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:

What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????

Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)

There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return. 

Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that

Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny

The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.

Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.

Some YouTube videos i liked in February:

💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels

And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!

…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel

Hazbin Hotel

well i didn’t like it

Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.

Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago

The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.

Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:

A boardroom

A video store

Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)

Various streets

Another boardroom

A BDSM club

Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)

A porn studio

A bar

Another bar

A town square (full of cannibals)

None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.

I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.

However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.

Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.

3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY

I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.

There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk

First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.

Then, it cuts straight to this shot:

A few things here. 

Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.

Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.

And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:

In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.

Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:

The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:

Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:

Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.

And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.

Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:

The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.

This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.

Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.

Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.

Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.

I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.

I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.

I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:

The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.

I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.

You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.

well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye

[flimflamfandom]

Aunt, Uncle, and Finn

Featuring OCs by @ladybugkisses

(this one is kinda long, just so you know!)

Spring. 1938.

Hollywood.

A land of superstars, the rich and famous, beautiful houses and sandy beaches...

all things the Rickaby children wouldn't be seeing.

"Do we HAVE to stay with Uncle Cal, mom?"

"Yes, Toby," Ari answered for what felt like the thousandth time. The 8 year old grumbled in his taxi seat. His sisters, bunched up next to him, were off in their own little worlds - Lucy was reading, and Sophie was staring out the window, in awe of anything other than St. Louis.

The car stopped. The doors opened. The sunlight poured into the cab

and standing there were Aunt Ivy and Uncle Cal.

Aunt Ivy looked stunning in the light as she walked over and hugged dad. She also hugged mom, and patted her back. Uncle Cal looked...droopy. He smiled, but it was weak. And half his tail was missing. He walked, slowly, over to dad, who held him tight, and spoke in a choking voice, "I'm so glad I got to see you again."

Toby knew they weren't really his aunt and uncle - they were something like...cousins?But always, Aunt and Uncle.

"You remember Toby," Mom said, smiling, and ushering Toby towards Ivy. "And Lucy, of course." Lucy waved and smiled politely.

"And you must be Sophie!" Ivy said, kneeling down and picking her up. "Why, I remember when I could hold ya in one hand!"

Mom winced. "Iiiii remember when you did that, too..." She nodded slowly. Ivy scoffed.

"I'm just teasin'."

"How're you, Uncle Calvin?" Lucy asked, rocking back and forth on her feet.

"I'm alright." He said, quietly, carrying a young boy on his shoulders. The boy looked about Sophie's age. He had his mother's fur, and his father's eyes. He was put down by Calvin, and shyly hid behind him.

"Whozat?" Sophie pointed, and walked over.

"Easy, Sophie." Calvin knelt down and smiled. "That's Finn...he's awful shy. He's a good boy, though, eh?" Calvin's voice was quiet, and a bit shaky. Ivy had to help him up.

-

After an hour or so of sitting and catching up, and hearing a lot about tail stuff for some reason, Mom and Dad stood up. "Well, we have to get going," Rocky said, "Gotta go see what the NBC folks want."

"Is Ari gettin' a show too?" Ivy asked. Mom blushed, and shook her head. "No, no...but I help so much with the money, I-" Mom looked at Calvin, and said something. "I don't want to tire him out too much."

"No, yer not tiring!" Ivy looked shocked that mom would even think that. Toby, who'd had to work in a garden under this woman, would disagree with that sentiment, but how would she even be tiring out Calvin?

Must be a grown up thing, Toby thought.

"Ow!" Toby's thoughts suddenly shifted when Sophie stepped on his tail, chasing after a ball. "Careful!" Toby scooped her up, and she giggled and squealed, wriggling in his grip. "You'll pay for that!"

"Nooo!" She yelped, her smile still wide as Toby used all his strength to throw her on the couch. He wasn't a BIG kid - it took a lot out of him! He waved goodbye as mom and dad left, and looked on as Calvin and Ivy glanced at each other.

"It's no crime she doesn't want to see me, Ivy, last time was rough."

"I know, I know. I just...-" The two of them wandered into the kitchen, leaving 4 children alone to their devices.

Lucy had already managed to find something worth reading. She was pouring over some papers at a typewriter, and peering at them. "Wow...this looks like a script!"

"So? That's what Uncle Cal does. He writes scripts."

"But it's a good script!"

"What's it about?"

"Looks like a horror movie. I think." Lucy kept reading, and this time, Toby felt yet another young paw on his tail. He turned around, and saw-

Finn.

Toby went to grab him like he had Sophie, but Finn looked horrified, and jumped on the couch himself, without a word. Toby smiled and laughed. "Gee, guy, I wasn't gonna hurt ya! It's fun!" He said. Sophie, still on the couch, nodded in response. Finn just stared at the two of them, and curled his knees to his chest.

Then, they heard a voice. "Kids! I need to go into town - who's coming with me?"

-

All four of the children BOLTED outside. They knew enough to know that Ivy McMurray was a famous movie actress, so whatever she had to do in town MUST be something exciting. Ivy laughed, and giggled. "No one to stay with Uncle Freckle, huh?"

"I'll be alright."

"Yeah!" Toby said. "He's grown, he can handle himself, let's do something fun!"

Ivy looked over at Calvin, and walked over to him, kissing him softly. "I love you, dearie. Anything happens, let me know, okay?"

"Aye, dear."

"You can handle being on your own?"

Calvin laughed. "The surgery wasn't that bad this time, I'm fine." Calvin kissed her, which drew a 'yech!' from all of the kids, even Finn.

With that, Ivy walked out.

"Where're we going?" Toby asked, sitting in the front seat. He was the oldest, after all.

"Studio lot." Ivy said. "I need to pick up some papers from my dire-"

"The LOT!?" Toby looked amazed. "Where they make the movies!?"

Ivy ruffled his head fur a little. "Where else?" Ivy began to drive down the hill. Lucy, in the back, sat between Sophie and Finn. "Aunt Ivy?" She asked, "Why were you so concerned about Uncle Calvin?"

Ivy paused for a moment. "...your Uncle just had a very...delicate operation." She said. "It affects how he walks a little bit. But he'll-" She hesitated, "He'll be alright."

"Where's his tail?" Sophie asked.

"...it, uhm..." Ivy hesitated some more. Toby swore he thought he saw a tear forming behind her sunglasses. "It...had to be taken off."

"Does it grow back?": Sophie asked.

"Tails don't grow back." Lucy said.

"They do on lizards!" Sophie said, sticking her tongue out at Lucy. Lucy crossed her arms.

"And is Uncle Calvin a lizard?"

"He could be under those big ears!"

Ivy stifled a laugh. "That's-...snrk...that's no way to talk about your..pff...your Uncle!"

-

One thing they don't tell you about film studio lots - it's a bit more boring than one would expect. Ivy had instructed them to wait in the lobby while she got something, and then they would go to another building, and at some point ice cream would be involved. Lucy seemed happy to wait, humming softly and looking at all the posters on the wall. Sophie and Finn were busy learning to communicate without much talking. And Toby?

Toby was bored. Out. Of. His. Wits.

He paced around the lobby, and looked around for something, anything, to do. He walked up to the receptionist. "Hey, is anything exciting going on today?"

"...not that I'm aware of." She said, eyes deep in a magazine. Toby walked off glumly, back to the benches where they were sitting -

Right up to Finn. Who was in his spot

"Finn, I'm sure you're great but you're in my spot. Can you move please?"

Finn just...stared at him.

"May you please move?"

"..."

"Sophie, can you tell him to move?"

"...uhm..." Sophie blinked. "Move?"

Nothing.

"Thanks, Soph'. Doing the lord's work here." Toby said, sarcastically.

"Be nice to Finn," Lucy said, "his dad's dying."

"What? No he's not, Aunt Ivy said he was gonna be fine!"

"They had to cut part of his tail off!"

"So?"

"Remember when they thought they were gonna have to do that to Mom and Dad was sobbing for 2 days straight?"

"...well...I guess-"

"Alright, kids," Ivy walked out, with a few papers, "just a fitting and we're done. Sorry I took s'long!"

-

Finn seemed popular with the people here - he got lollipops. He got pats on his head. He even got to stand with Buster Crabbe. Buster Crabbe! FLASH GORDON, Toby's IDOL, and FINN got to just wave to him!

Before you ask, Toby DID get an autograph - but still, Toby couldn't help but feel jealous when Buster told Finn 'Say hi to yer dad for me'.

And now, they were sitting in another waiting room, while Ivy could be heard from behind a curtain. Lucy, again, found something to do very quickly - and Sophie joined her as she explained how sewing machines work (to the best of her 7 year old ability, of course).

This left Toby, a loud, boisterous young lad, and Finn, a guy who Toby hadn't heard talk once the whole time.

"...so..." Toby looked over. "You, uhm...you like books?"

Finn shrugged.

"...you like movies?"

Finn nodded.

"What's yer favorite?"

Finn thought for a moment, and then, pulled a scary face, holding his hands over his head.

"Dracula?"

Finn nodded.

"Lucky - my parents don't let me watch that stuff."

"Last I checked, they did, and you chickened out!" Lucy said.

"Hey! I don't air YOUR secrets do I!?" Finn giggled a little when that happened.

"So. Finn. Level with me...why don't you talk much?" Finn thought for a moment - thinking through how to explain it. He looked down at his feet, then back up at Toby. He shrugged.

"You don't know?"

Finn nodded.

"CAN you talk?" Finn nodded in response again, and move to open his mouth, until-

"Ah!"

"Oh, sorry, Mrs. McMurray, i didn't pin you too hard did I?"

"No, no - be careful, though!" Ivy's laugh came through - it was bright. Finn's eyes softened at it a bit - he had been stiff a few moments before, but now, he looked more relaxed.

"Alright, kids, all finished - who's in for ice cream?"

"ALL OF US!"

"Don't shout! Girls have to be careful back there!"

-

The five of them sat outside of an ice cream stand - Ivy was careful to hide herself, wearing a head scarf and a pair of shades - and the 4 children diligently went about eating ice cream.

And, of course, Finn was doing something odd.

Sure, he was eating his ice cream normally. He was sitting normally. He just wasn't...talking. or saying ANYthing. He stared at something across the street - a little bird, pecking at the ground. Sophie looked for a moment, before going back to her ice cream.

"...Aunt Ivy?"

"Yes, Toby?"

"Why is Finn so quiet?"

"He gets it from his father." Ivy said, nodding. "He's definitely his father's child." Toby blinked.

"...Does he ever say anything?"

"He only speaks to his best friends. I'm sure he'll be talking to Sophie by the evening!" Sophie was circling around Finn, and trying hard to play one handed rock paper scissors while she viciously attacked her cone.

"Sorry today wasn't as exciting as I thought - I figured we'd get to go on set today."

"We're gonna go on set!?" Lucy asked, a bright hope in her eye.

"Absolutely - but you have to be very careful on a movie set." Ivy said. "It's dangerous!"

"I can be careful! I dunno about Sophie though..." Sophie was trying to climb a fence. "Soph! Get down from there!"

"Okay!" She bounded down, and hit the ground hard. She simply looked down at herself, brushed her dress off, and ran back over.

Finn walked over to his mother, and looked up. He tugged her dress a little, and spoke softly, for the first time anyone had heard. all day.

"...dad?"

"...oh! Goodness - we ought to run back home and check on him, make sure he's alright." With that, the gang piled into the car, and got home.

-

Dinner had gone just fine. Mom and dad had come home from that awfully long set of meetings, and they looked...happy. Food was good, on account of Uncle Cal, and now the kids were getting ready to go to sleep. They were all crowded into the spare room. Uncle Cal walked in, and smiled.

"Night, all."

"Can you sing us a song?"

"Hmm?"

"Yeah! Mama always sings us songs in port...porter...porterhouse-"

"Portuguese?" Calvin finished the word for Sophie.

"Yeah!"

"I don't speak any Portuguese..." Calvin said. "I speak Irish, though."

"Is that why you talk funny?" Lucy asked.

Calvin chuckled. "Aye, that'd do it, I think." He said. "I used to sing an awful lot better before all this tail business."

"Yeah, what's with yer tail?" Toby finally asked. Finn, at the mention of it, leapt out of the bed, and into his dad's arms, and whispered something to him.

"My tail is sick, and it's making me sick. We hope it'll stop, but we'll see." He nodded, and kissed Finn's forehead, letting him back down. "Now, lullaby, right?"

"Please?" Lucy asked.

Without missing much time, Calvin started singing in a language they didn't understand. "Dún do Shúil, a rún mo chroí, A chuid den tsaol, 's a ghrá liom..."

As he sang, Finn nestled into his bed, and went to sleep. Sophie followed suit. Lucy was next...Toby was still a little awake. He yawned, and spoke.

"Lucy says you're gonna die...is that true?"

"We all do, someday." Calvin said.

"But soon?"

"...It'll all be good memories." He said, smiling. "Sleep well, Tobias."

"Goodnight."

[princessconsuela120]

prologue —❇

Summary: early life between anna hunter and eric matthews...and the chaos that always seemed to follow them.

Warnings: none

Author’s note: for those of you from wattpad you already know this one, but i am publishing my baby on here too! enjoy guys, there isnt enough eric matthews on tumblr.

—❇

"ANNA HUNTER? IS ANNA HUNTER HERE?" Mr Feeny asked, searching the class for the young girl. Eric had to hold a hand to her mouth to silence her giggles as they hid in the closet at the back of the class.

"Goldie, if you don't shush he'll find us in here.."

"Too late." Mr Feeny smiled fakely as he opened the door. "Hello, would you two like to join the class?" Eric glanced at Anna before smirking, leaning against the closet.

"No, that's alright Mr Feeny. Thanks for the offer." Anna began giggling again, Eric shushing her and smiling at Mr Feeny. Both children smiled at the man in a similar, 'innocent' fashion, earning an eye roll from the older man.

"Would you two get in your seats?" Eric cleared his throat before nodding, putting his hands up in defense.

"You know Mr Feeny, maybe if you would teach something more interesting, we wouldn't want to hide in the closet so much."

"Oh yeah? And what do you suggest?"

"Bugs bunny!" Eric and Anna shouted in unison, clapping their hands together as they smiled at each other. Mr Feeny looked back at the children nervously, then up at the celing.

"Why? Of all the children in Philadelphia, why have you sent me these spawns of satan?"

"Look Goldie, I'm a pig!" Eric shouted. Anna giggled loudly and came over to the boy, the two kids using Feeny's tape despenser to make silly faces. The class was enjoying it, they always enjoyed the gags the two would do. Mr Feeny however, had given up trying to get the two in their seats. The two never listened when they were 5, why should 9 be any different.

"Seats, you both. I won't say it again."

"Don't be such a downer Mr Feeny, we saved some tape for you." Anna explained, holding out her hand to give to the man. He took the tape before throwing it out in the garbage. The two children looked at each other before sighed, walking to their seats.

Anna pulled the tape off Eric's face as he squeezed his face to brace himself. And in one swift rip, Eric's screams echoed across the classroom.

"Oh shush you baby." Anna teased, pulling the tape off her face with no problem. Eric sighed in defeat, pulling the rest of the tape from his face, crumbling all the tape into a ball.

"This is all you fault Goldie." He chucked the ball of tape at her, Anna rolling her eyes before sticking the tape ball to his shirt.

"Excuse me, but I told you the closet wouldn't work." Eric rolled his eyes, mocking the girl. She hit the back of his head before turning back to Mr Feeny.

"History, dead people. It's done, it's over, let's move on!" Eric mumbled, rolling his eyes. He wanted to leave, but he couldn't. So he settled for doodling on a notebook page.

Soon enough, Eric and Anna were passing notes back and forth, trying to fill the time until class was done.

"Passing notes are we mr Matthews?"

"Mr. Feeny, it hurts that you think so little of me. I'm simply, copying notes from the lesson." Eric smirked, his hand covering the words written on the page.

"Oh, well then Mr Matthews, you wouldn't mind if I took a look..." Eric grabbed the note smiling.

"Feeny Feeny, I'm not finished yet, genius work takes time." Mr Feeny reached to grab the paper, making Eric panic. As a last resort, Eric crumbled up the paper and shoved it in his mouth, chewing it, and swallowing it whole.

"To be fair Mr. Feeny, I only did that to prove that their was no writing on it." He said, smiling at Mr.Feeny before winking at Anna. She giggled again, holding her mouth to try and hide it. Mr.Feeny scoffed, finally having enough for the day of the children's shanaagins.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Mr.Feeny groaned, moving back to the front of the class. Both children giggled happily, doing their handshake as Mr.Feeny ignored the two, going back to teaching.

"Hey Goldie?" Eric reached over to Anna's table, trying to find a way to talk to her without Feeny hearing.

"Yeah?"

"We're gonna be a team forever right?"

"Of course. I mean, that's what the ring pop was for wasn't it?" She asked, holding her hand out to show the half eaten ring pop on her finger.

"No, that was for our wedding." He remarked sarcastically, making Anna laugh lightly. She looked at him and nodded.

"Right, how could I forget. My ring pop husband for life." She whispered back, kissing Eric's cheek before paying attention to Mr Feeny's teaching.

She didn't notice, but a new red shade flooded the 9 year old boy's cheeks, and a tingly feeling was left at the spot her lips had touched. She found his hand, and held it tightly, smiling over at him before looking back to the board.

And just as every day had seemed to go, as Anna watched the teacher,

Eric watched her.

[senka-mesecine]

Ok now, you told me to be annoying with asks so I'm gonna (sorry not sorry💟)- how about this weird idea. Could you write a little something about O'Neil walking in on something he shouldn't have witnessed, maybe he walked in/overheard his sargerooney being particularly sweet with reader? OR Something better or something way worse than that? 😈 I'll leave that choice up to you. And Red being the way he is, he puts that image in his little keepsake box so he can pull it out the next time he's gonna need a favour or something. You totally don't need to write this, I've just been thinking 🫡💟 love ya!

The Angel, Huh?

Robert Barnes x Reader (Feat. a Meddlesome O'Neill). @woman-with-no-name

―

This was the only time in centuries anyone's seen Robert Barnes on R&R

Only time O'Neill has seen him, that's for sure.

Should've been a day marked in the calendar in red like a national holiday.

Up there with Thanksgiving.

Getting that cocksucker to stop fighting and go on a fucking break was like getting flies off of shit on a hot summer's day, which is why Red figured the whole situation caused so much...well...uh...universal uproar; even though nobody had the balls to actually be loud and open about it unless they wanted the attention of the man of the hour himself, which was always a bad idea. So, conspiratorial murmurings it was. Thing is, boys were talking and when boys talked, Red had the habit of listening and eating that crap up. Supposing he was curious himself and in any other situation, he figured he'd ask Chiefrooney about it himself, but as things stood...Barnes actually hung up the old magazine for three whole days and that was so shocking, Red wasn't sure how he'd vocalize anyone of his questions in the first place. Maybe why he was waiting for him at the hotel's front door, catching him exit, all of this, this whole situation, so strange Red found himself lighting a cigar, feeling his hand shake. A venue for military personnel in Hawaii, he might've slightly abused the fact that he knew which room Bob stayed in and he might've just, in equal measure, done some eavesdropping in the hallway. For all but five seconds, but still. Honestly, what he heard made him nervy. The man out of the hour busts out of the hotel's front door sauntering down the stairs still in his military fatigues and Red nearly jumps at the sight; Barnes was the only man alive, possibly, on vacation still in his green slacks, admittedly, with his sleeves rolled up --- a sign of relaxation or as close as Bob would allow himself to get to it. Red gleeful digs his teeth into his lower lip looking down at his own get up. He had one Hawaiian shirt and one pair of bell bottom jeans he intended to wear them to their maximum capacity these couple of days, admittedly, in the company of his bucket hat; a precaution against the sun. The contrast was just something, is all. Like they were headed to two entirely different places.

Sarge looked like he was off back to war.

And Red like he was about to order some Mai Tais on the nearest beach pier.

-"Hiya there, uh, Bob! Enjoying the break, huh? Enjoying the weather, huh? Seeing you out of the jungle is like seeing a fish playin' a trumpet. Can hardly believe it myself, uh-oh."-

He calls after him, rambling, keeping up pace, practically running after the man who didn't intend to stop; he was certain Bob noticed him but choose to tactically ignore him, stubbornly marching forward, down the street. Didn't even do as much to throw him a mean as shit, judgmental side-glance to appraise what he was wearing. Nah, nah, he wasn't getting off the hook easily. Something was going on here.

-"Why don'tcha take a picture, Red. It'll last'ya longer."-

Is all Bob says, not even looking back at him, just adamantly walking forward.

Red takes a long drag out of his cigar, feeling a wicked smile creep forth.

Now was his chance.

-"So, that her, Bob? That the lucky lady, huh?"-

Red feels himself grow emboldened, teasing deliberately and he swears he's never seen a man halt in his tracks so abruptly, so suddenly, doing a seamless turn on his heels at the very second the words were spoken, like an angry bull about to impale him on his horn in the middle of the street. All the playfulness evaporates and O'Neill's face to face with Barnes, and even in the mellow, warm sun of Hawaii, Bob still looked frightening as all shit, the vista doing nothing to soften his demeanor or features, perhaps causing them to seem even sharper than usual in a space that was so very open, wide and as light as this; like placing a piece of artillery in a flower garden. Especially now, when his buttons were clearly pushed, his eyes positively shark-like. Oh, so Red guessed correctly; what got Bob away from active combat was a woman. Story as old as time. He came to Hawaii for R&R to meet up with someone. You. He's sure heard some funky noises from behind that hotel door, uh-oh. But, judging by Chieferooney's reaction? It was confirmed. Was official. The O'Neill investigatory skills never fail.

-"What's it to you?"-

Bob questions and it was Red's turn to feel cocky.

Doesn't even bother dipping the ash hanging askew from his cigarette. He just lets it fall to the ground on its own because he didn't intend to miss a second of this. He wiggles his eyebrows. Taunting.

-"I don't know, angel, you tell me, huh? Huh?"-

Red cocks his head and he doesn't even have a solid moment to properly gloat.

At the mention of that moniker, Barnes jumps, piercing through his personal bubble.

Red's hands come up, defensively, as a shield.

He stands his ground against the one man tornado, but, holy shit, geez.

What's this? Kill O'Neill season!? Kill O'Neill the Cupid? Batshit.

-"Hey, hey, hey, easy there, tiger!"-

He jitters, only partially joking and on the other side, very seriously so, feeling his body shake. Last thing he wanted was Bob getting genuinely angry. Didn't matter if they were surrounded by palm trees, pina coladas, civilians and servicemen on a break, he knew the man would flat out throw him into the nearest magnolia bush and kick his ass, leaving him for dead in a nearby sandy ditch, baby. All of this had a humorous side to it, admittedly. Lucky for Bob O'Neill was as big of a love expert as he was. -"Got'cha real riled up, didn't I! Heh-he!"- Red chuckles into his own chin as Barnes holds his gaze for a couple of seconds to drill the point home that he wasn't in the mood, only to turn back and around and continue going where he was going with all the determination in the world. All Red could do was follow. What, they served for as long as they did together and he wasn't even going to tell him who you were!? C'mon. -"You know, I knew there had to be a reason because I told myself; Bob leaving The Nam voluntarily!? The Bob I know!? That fella'!? Uh-oh, uh-oh, ain't no way! No way! There gotta be something there! An agenda!"- He rants away, doing so to the outline of Bob's back as the man practically marched on in front of him in wide strides, not seeming terribly pleased even though his face was entirely turned and even though he wasn't exactly saying anything. Some of the guys didn't really believe that Sarge was here with them in the first place; they told him he was full of shit. Making crap up. Some of them devised entire conspiracy theories he was downright here to kill someone; covert Ops mission, blacklisted and all that. From the higher ups. They made bets on it. But, Red? Red discovered the real truth. Like Red knew he would. Catching up with Bob, or rather, feeling Bob allowed him to catch up with him, Red takes this as a sign he's allowed to make another joke. -"And now I know what it is, Sargerooney. The agenda! Yeah."- He quips, finding Bob gruff. Gloomy. Giving him a dark stare once they halt on vaguely desolate part of the coastline, in the relative shadow of the hotel; balconies and windows lining its facade. He catches the Sarge staring in that direction with a gaze he could only describe as unfathomable.

He was a little too quiet and intense. Even for Bob.

Red imagines you being kept behind lock and key on the other side of one of those balconies and it seemed so in line with the Bob he knew the notion sends a chill down his spine.

He knew what would cheer the man up and diffuse the situation. He pulls out a pack of Marlboros from his pocket, along with a lighter. An olive branch, of sorts. Offering a cigarette. Offering to light it too. To his shock, Robert Barnes hesitates, not accepting the gesture immediately, body as rigid as a rock, eyes travelling between the box and O'Neill's face, still seeming like he was ready pounce back into a fighting stance any minute, his thick, meaty fingers half-coiled, like a claw. Like all he lacked was the grip of an M16's handle around them and the momentary absence of his firearm while on vacation was like the feeling of a phantom limb after the actual flesh has already been cut and amputated. Red gulps heavy and loud.

Chief was pissed.

-"C'mon, Bob, uh, don't be like that."-

Red whines, feeling his lip shiver. What? Was this relationship that serious then?

Bob, in love!?

Geez, man. For Pete's sake. Gotta be a cold day in hell.

And here he thought it would be great blackmail fodder. Casually, in a joking way, between compatriots and all that. When he wanted extra privileges and perks. He just felt that strategically brining up the fact Robert Barnes had a girl he was soft and sweet on and who he referred to as angel behind closed doors was so crazy that Sarge himself wouldn't want the story to grow legs and start running, but by the looks of it --- it was gonna be Red who's gonna have to start running soon, the vice grip around his guts subsiding only when Bob actually decides to have mercy and reaches out, taking a single cigarette out of the white box and popping into his scarred, scowling mouth, without saying thanks, without saying anything actually, waiting the zippo to do its thing. Desperately in want of forgiveness and in equal measure fascinated with everything going on, like someone who just stumbled upon a rare insect, Red's hands shake as he apologetically and with clumsy speed brings the lighter's fire close to the filtration's tip, watching it erupt into embers and smoke. Most cocksuckers grow mushy when they get all googly eyed over a broad, but if anything, Chief only seemed to grow even scarier.

-"Your secret's safe with me, uh-oh."-

Red reassurances nervously, shaking his head vigorously, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Bob won't always be in such a foul mood and that he'll still be able to collect a favor, sometimes, occasionally, when the time is right. But, geez, you must've been really something to get Sarge so tense, huh? Part of him growing more curious by the second, the other side of him borderline daunted by the prospect of you. Another question bites him in the ass like a red ant there and then, unbidden, whirling around amidst the tempest of his desperation, curious and anxiety.

So, did Bob and Missus Bob need a best man or something?

The inquiry remains unasked, and they stand on the pier smoking together in silence.