#so if i'm doing my math right i can only get two
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Frustrating when a VC-funded company gets credit for being the "first" and the "leader," when they had a sub-component demo the same week we had a full-system demo. Like, we are easily 5-10 years ahead of them, it's ridiculous; their approach isn't even yet proven to work. But they get science youtubers talking about them.
Because they're VC-funded, they have a marketing/press department.
And because we're an employee-owned company working off of government contracts, well, most government contracts get slapped with an ITAR label (an old Cold-War-era law saying basically sharing scientific information counts as illegally selling arms/munitions). So if you want to publicize your work, including your company's products, you have to appeal that label. (Universities have specifically negotiated a blanket exemption, so if you spend your whole life in academic science you might never even know about this.)
(My previous employer filed those appeals several times a year in order to do press releases and publish journal articles and apply for patents. I think every single information-release appeal they filed went through, because there's no reason any of this stuff should be labeled as arms--it's literally the same stuff universities are doing. My current employer is afraid to, which I think is wrong-headed; at worst they'll just say no, and anyway, our non-restricted competitors are giving fucking lab tours to youtubers.)
#these restrictions mean you also can't have employees on visas working on these projects#my previous employer tried to appeal that too and failed--they were only able to appeal the dissemination of information part#so we had locked labs that my international coworkers weren't allowed in#(one got a green card and was allowed in eventually)#ironically the VC-funded company is doing it the same way I did it in my PhD thesis#two other people at the company did this stuff in their post-docs#all of us are over 40 (one guy is over 50 I'm pretty sure) so this is not a new technique--I got two MINOR papers on it 16 years ago#the MAJOR papers are like 25 years old#and we're all convinced it's NOT the right approach#granted the technique we are using is about 30 years old#in my literal thesis defense one of my committee members asked why I was using the technique the VC companies are now using#and if I had done the math to prove it was superior to the older technique#and I was like--everyone knows the new technique is superior that's why it's trendy#and my advisor (who was a genius) said the same thing and that it wasn't a fair question#but the guy who asked it was an ancient theorist who REALLY knew what he was talking about#and in retrospect he was completely right--I should have done the math comparing the techniques and the older technique IS better#a few weeks into my job here I did the math and found that if you use the BEST version of the new technique--one that only one group#has demonstrated can even be done and they didn't get all the way to the point of demonstrating an application like this#and you assume some generous efficiency numbers#it breaks even with the old technique#that's not what this VC group is doing so... not a chance lol
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oh the math is just crazy like that huh
#idk it's so nice when you can piss off everyone you like at the same time and get killed by them :D#sorry i'll lose you totally on twitter if i unblock you probably i can't do these type in search things#because my brain is too avoidant for this#and for stalking you too much#it just goes like what the hell even happened boom bombs explosions good thing you probably don't want to see me anyway#also i'm still not a weird evil gay guy dw idk why i'm saying this just double checking something stupid#anyway but the block thing isn't like that with fish i just can't even think about not having her blocked#she's like wtf are you even good for if not for enslavement do you just want your adderall for free#and i'm like how about nothing at all yođđđđđ#total walter white core of her#i need to get drunk again#you'd think i care about what she thinks right and i don't i just wish i exploded to pieces before ever talking to her so i wouldn't >>#>> have been able to and she never even knew i existed like that#also#i miss brook like so much there isn't as much space in space as i miss them#idk have you played dead estate what do you think about jesse pinkman i think these are two great things to >>#>> have in your head when something is wrong#and there seems to be something wrong idk#well yk#đđ#but seriously stop saying things about them please your fish is nine million times worse in like any scenario imaginable#even though they wouldn't even agree T_Tđ#ugh idk#meet michael#grey eel from our wonderful world#wait i don't like know your instagram math i've only just checked a second ago to make sure nothing's wrong#and it is#total brain empty like i said just not in a not caring way or anything#i don't know#đ«¶
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â° 04. the ballad of a bygone blight.
â° ê° âŁ'ËË platonic yandere batfam / spider! reader ê±
â° 04. fantastic four.
SYNOPSIS : being spidey isn't easy. being transported into an alternate universe where you're nothing but a shadow in your house, makes sneaking around a little easier... until you find yourself the apple of their eye... kind of.
note: had to wrack my brain to remember what math i was learning in seventh grade LMAO . sometimes i forget damian is just a little guy in like seventh to eighth grade. crazy. and please let me know if there's any mistakes with pronouns/gender!!! i want to keep this open to everybody so im always trying my best â€ïž
also ive realised how chopped harry is in the comics after taking my rose coloured lenses off. basically he and mj have their look in the ultimate spiderman TV show (in my eyes anyway, i kind of just described their appearance based off tgat lmaooo)
prev. â° masterlist â° next.
School has never felt so bland for you. Sure, it was never your favourite thing in the worldâexcept for maybe biologyâbut you'd think that discovering a whole new world in your last year would make it a little more interesting.
It didn't.
It's been three weeks since you crash landed here in Gotham. The most you'd gotten from your family was an awkward "how are you" occasionally, and a lot of staring.
You'd only shown yourself as Spidey a few times to the public, but never stayed for those pesky news reporters shoving their microphones into your face. You'd never liked interviews, anyway.
The only highlight of your long days were MJ and Harry. You'd gotten over the initial shock of Harry being in love with youâconvincing yourself that it really wasn't you he liked; it was this world's original you. (Thoughâthat fact still lingers in the back of your mind whenever you talk).
Apart from that, school truly was uneventful. Your kooky art teacher was the only one of whom you actually liked, and it seemed the education here was rather lax. Uncaring. Not good for your future, surelyâbut you wouldn't have a future here, and you're sure this [name] Wayne will be just fine.
Speaking of schoolingâthe people here really seemed to hate the Gotham Prep kids. More than what a petty rivalry should beâit was pure malice.
Harry was especially adamant about this.
"They're all dumb, entitled rich kids who use daddy's money to get whatever they want, you know." He stabs his fork into a dry cut of chicken violently. Then points, accusatory, at MJâwho already presents a sneer to him. "And don't you start lumping me in with themâyou know I'm not like that."
Her face twists, but soon she grins cheekily. "Okay, fine. Yeah, you're totally not, otherwise nobody here would like you one bit. And who doesn't love Harry, huh?"
"Oh, be quiet," But still, he smilesâdamn his head is big. He glances over at you. You're picking around at your soggy broccoli with a frown. "Hey, [name]. Don't two of your brothers go to Gotham Prep?"
You look up at your ginger friend, head tilted to the side before it clicked. Oh, right. Tim and that young boyâDamian, if you remember correctly. Tim barely ever went to school if your diary was still accurate, and Damian had little choice but to.
(Doesn't seem like he'd be the social butterfly type, though.)
"Yeah, they do." You nod, still fiddling around with that vegetable.
"Not that I'm not glad that you're hereâbut why don't you go to school with them?" MJ leans forward in her seat. "I mean, isn't it easier for siblings to go to the same school?"
Your eyes widen for a second.
There's a few ways you can go about this.
Oneâyou tell them everything you know about your other self. About how you never felt included enough to ask. How you never spent time with them. How it always felt like everything and everyone else was more important than you. How you suffered silentlyâbegging for their attention for years like a house pet becoming a stray.
Twoâyou could tell them you have absolutely no idea because you have none of your memories of anything from the past years of this lifeâhow you don't even remember all your siblings names half the time.
Or three, and your personal favouriteâyou can just lie.
It doesn't take a serial genius to figure out which one you chose.
"I guess I just didn't like the rich private school vibe they had going on." A smile falls over your lips. "Plusâyou guys were coming here, so it gave me even more of a reason to attend, you know?"
You're not entirely sure that's true. Butâif these two were anything like the Harry and MJ you knowâthen this would probably be right.
Judging from their smiles, your detective skills haven't failed you yet.
"Man!" MJ lolls her head back, groaning. "Can't believe I'm friends with two rich kids who get to choose which school they wantâthe beat down public or sleek rich private."
"Don't go dissing this school just because you're jealous of their uniforms," Harry snickers, pressing his index finger into MJ's cheek. She huffs and slaps him away.
"Silence, nepo baby. Your dad is basically Lex Luthor if he wasn't bald."
Harry looks more confused than offended at her comment, "Okay, but my dad isn't an evil mastermind plotting against a red and blue suited superhero."
You press your lips together thinly and look to the side, eyes focused on anything but him. Oh, Harryâif only you knew.
Damian Wayne had never truly seen the point of highschool.
Raised by assassains all his lifeâhe had little room, time, and desire to learn about all this nonsense. While he enjoyed arts and fine literatureâhe couldn't find it within himself to care about the American Revolution, or whatever other ridiculous thing happened in history.
His maths teacher was absolutely, indubitably pathetic. Always on his phone as he assigns mountains of homework (because he never bothers to explain the complex materials they're given) on the latest subjectâwhether it be those blasted simultaneous equations, or to factorise useless monic trinomials. Even calculating tax and interest on the stupidest of cases.
Damian found himself sitting in the corner of his class in silence, staring down, bored, at the book in front of him. He truly hated math. There's so much real work to be doneâcrime to fight, plotting organisations to take down.
But his father, as always, is unmoving in his conviction that school is important. For Damian especially, anyway; Drake can skip as often as he likes because he's a senior already. Truly, ridiculous.
For Damian, andâoh.
You.
Bruce always seemed especially insistent on you two going to school. Even when everyone but him knew you skipped every few days and simply come home to wait.
Wait for what? For them?
His brows furrow. Suddenly, the black and white equations on the sheet blur and he zones out. Thinking.
You always did. From the day he'd walked into the manor, you were always there. Unconsciously, he'd notice it. A trait of a good assassin is that they can spot everyone in the room.
A trait of a great assassin is that they can spot everyone inside and watching.
Always, you were watching. Those pitiful stares. Desperate like a unloved pet. If he cared a little more (if any at all), he would've felt sorrow for your state.
Always wanting, but never asking. Never taking. Simply waiting for it all to come to you. He would never understand it. He would never understand you.
He would never understand how somebody could allow themselves to be so weak.
Like everybody elseâwhen he first entered the manor, he proposed to fight you. Assumingâbeing the child of his father, like he wasâyou were worthy. That you were strong.
He doesn't know how he could've been so wrong. You immediantly reacted, gasping and clutching your face. He'd nicked it with the edge of his blade after he unsheathed it. You looked at the blood dotting your fingertips, then back at him, eyes wide.
Immediantly, Bruce rushed to his side and pushed him behind his larger, imposing figureâtelling you to not interact with him because he's different to regular people. Different to you.
He watched you storm off from behind his father's legs; anger practically blaring off your figure.
Laterâhe happened to overhear you and Grayson talking quietly. Telling you to not be too hard on Damian, because he's troubled. That he's had a difficult life. At firstâhe was a tad offendedâbut that offence could not compare to the absolute fury burning in your eyes.
Though, it all melted away when Grayson's hand ruffled your hair. Like a little kid, you stared up at him, soft and starry-eyed as you unconsciously murmured you'd forgive your new little brother.
Damian dry-heaved. You were so goddamn weak.
So weak, and so normal. Everything you did was completely regular. You were on the same wavelength as the civilians he saved from burning rubble. The same as people who walked down the street, talking about their favourite Justice League member. Who cowered in fear in front of villainsâto be saved by those heroes. By him.
You were nothing, and yet everything he could never have been.
(What child does not long for normalcy?)
Damian always thought you were rather helpless, regardless of how regular you wereâand seeing you with that bullet lodged in your shoulderâhe was right. Not being able to dodge something like a bulletâthere was no wonder you never become a vigilante. There was no wonder you needed to be protected.
... Thoughâhe began to think back.
Who did? Protect you; that is.
Whoever it was, they did a pretty awful job at it.
Damian strums his fingers against the hardwood table rhythmically. Face blank but mind running rapidly.
It couldn't have been Todd. Noâhe seemed to be in a frazzled state of mania when carrying your bleeding body in your arms. Perhaps he too, believed you were safe with the rest of his family.
(Oh how wrong Todd wasâhe looked livid.)
... Grayson?
No. When he's not in BlĂŒdhaven, he is almost always with the other vigilantes within the family. Not here nor there, and certainly not close enough to protect you.
Not Drake. He never cared enough, despite everything. Not Cain, either. Though the silent protector typeâshe had too much on her plate to worry about you as well.
Gordon and Brown had their own families to worry about.
And hisâyour father? The Batman? There was no time for a regular child like you in the Batman's life of vigilantism. Whom he sworn to protect in his crusade now lay bleeding out in his great failure's arms.
...
Did you truly have nobody?
...
Damian couldn't really imagine it. He'd always assumed you had many friends to fill the void that yoir family left with their civilian clothes. ... Perhaps you did. He wouldn't know.
You are his only half sibling. In this world, only he is truly your brother, and you are his only older sibling. Does that not give him the slightest of responsibility?
He'd always been taught to keep everybody at arms lengthâeven his own family. The whole world is out to get the Demon's grandson, then he must fight it. But his father taught him differently.
To protect those who cannot protect themselvesâto keep those he cares about safe at any cost.
What of you? He does not care for you in the way an ordinary sibling should. Seeing you so weak, defenceless against himâmust mean you trust him in some way.
(It's hard for him to fathom being able to feel so unprotected in a world he was taught was trying to extinguish him at every turn).
Regardless of how you don't belongâor how frosty you act toward your youngest brotherâhe has a duty.
No matter how hard you tryâyou can never sever the blood you two share. The others do not have this dutyâbut he does, because in the end, you are his. None of the others bothered, so Damian must.
You are everything he could never be, he has realised. But in the end, you are blood. It runs thicker in the veins than any water, and that is one of the most important things to Damian.
Seeing that same bloodâhis bloodâspill out of you carelesslyâthat is a sight he will never bear witness to again.
Damian was the first one out the door as soon as the bell chimed in his ear. His bag slung tightly around his shoulders and textbook under his arm; he rushed into the familiar sight of a sleek, large car.
He shuts the door as he climbs into the backseat (Bruce said he was still too short to sit in the front, much to his son's displeasure). "Hello, Pennyworth."
Alfred glances back at him through the rear view mirror. "Good afternoon, Master Damian. How was school?"
"Same as usual. A waste of time." He clicks his seatbelt shut as the car begins to move. Alfred only hums, keeping his eyes trained on the road.
"I'm unsurprised to hear you say so. I do hope you understand why exactly, you are enrolled in school, however. And why Master Bruce is so adamant about your attendance."
Damian knows. He's always known, because it has been drilled into his head like a mantra. Talia and Ra's Al Ghul weren't math teachersâand most of his time really was spent training and sparring to be the best he could be.
He was not illiterate, nor stupid. Rather smart, actually. However, he didn't exactly learn algebra and chemistry with the League of Assassins.
He grumbles. "I know, Pennyworth. Father cannot seem to stop reminding me that all these things are far more important than stopping the endless wave of crime in Gotham."
If he weren't on the roadâAlfred surely would've given him a nasty look. "Master Damian, pleaseâyour sincerity is positively slaughtering me."
Damian rolls his eyes, opting to stop this fruitless conversation and look outside the windows instead. At the outside worldâthe sky already paling to deep auburn shades as they drive through the endless roads.
He watched all the cars moving past; hurrying to get to their destination. Each with their own story and reason for being there. Every single one with their own thoughts and worries. Some with children, others with pets, and some with piles of groceries.
All with their own, individual lives. Including him.
A bus, too. It stops for a moment at a sheltered space, then drives away, leaving a few people standing under the shade.
An elderly lady with a man, presumably her son, walking away with her. A woman with frizzy red hair and freckles dotted over her nose. A few schoolkidsâsome his age, some older. Clearly from the public school on the other side of Gotham, if only to judge from the scantily clad clothes some of the older students woreâ
Wait, is that you?
He sits upâthe car slowly coming to a stop at a red light. His eyes don't leave your figure as he presses his nose against the window; observing.
You look around at the people that pass by youâgripping your bag close to your side and rushing into the nearest alleyway.
He waits for a few moments. This red light feels rather longâbut what feels longer is watching and waiting for you to come out of that alleyway.
You never do.
Even as the car begins to move once more, driving past the intersection, he crawls as far back as possible to even get a glimpseâbut you never show.
Just today, he had decided to be the one to take up the mantle and protect you. Just today, during a boring math class, he has decided that since you are his blood, he must keep a helpless civilian like you safe.
And now you're gone. Are you dead, or something?
(Deep down, his stomach twists at the thought.)
"Pennyworth, pull over." Hid voice is more taut than he had imagined. "Now."
Alfred looks back, glancing at the streets around. He doesn't question the young boy, simply doing as he is asked and pulling over to a deserted parking area.
When he has parked the car, he turns around and sees Damian slipping his Robin mask onâsomehow already fully suited up.
His eyes widen, "Master Damian, whatâ"
"I have something to do. Let Father know I will be back home late."
Opening the door, Damian rushes out and pulls out his grappling hook, swinging onto the nearest building's roof and looking around.
He spots the alleyway you'd run into. It is still. Absolutely no movement nor any looks from passer-bys. He rushes across the roves towards where the dark side seeped into the crack of the buildings.
Maybe you'd taken another way out?
But looking at the alleyway now, it's more like a dip between the buildings to stand in more than anything. It was blocked off on the other side.
So where...???
He drops down, landing on his soles and squinting as he stares around into the dark. There's nothing.
No people, nor bodies, and certainly not anything to indicate anybody was ever here.
Except...
He glances at the wall. Theres a white cocoon-esque oval webbed to the wall. Those same webs he'd seen all that time agoâfrom that spider. That would show up then leave immediantly. Never staying for longer than they had to.
Dodging all of his and Batman's attempts at asking who you were, and what you were doing in Gotham. Always swinging away into the distance before they could be subdued.
Now, he stares at their ball of webbing and wonders if it truly is an arachnid he's dealing with.
He pokes it, looking it up and down. Then, he sees it. Through the small holes in the webs and the translucent, silk-like materialâhe finally sees it.
Your bag.
He tears off the webbing faster than he can think, getting the sticky substance stuck to his gloves and clothes; he barely even notices it. He grabs your bag and stares it, swallowing hard.
His mind buzzes with an unfamiliar staticky feeling and he suddenly feels sick to his stomach. Despite all the noise in his earâhis brain is able to comprehend one singular question.
... What did that arachnid do to you?
Clothed fingers digging deep into the leather fabric of the bagâclearly worn down and fading. Old. He would get Father to purchase you another. ... When he sees you next. Because he will.
His jaw clenches hard.
Damian throws the bag over his shoulder and grapples upâswinging onto a building roof and running across.
Running for what, he isn't sure. But what he is sure of, is that once he gets his hands on that arachnid, it will not be kind.
To find out what happened to youâthat is his duty as your blood sibling.
He decides that in this life, he will be your protector. In the next, if he is ever given a chance to be normal like youâhe will become a doctor. Or perhaps a painter. Or a poet. Maybe he will ask you to help him decide when he finds you and that arachnid.
... Yes, that sounds good.
You cut through the cool wind as you swing through the city. Grinning widely underneath your maskâyou don't think you've ever been so happy since you landed here.
You're sure nobody will take your stuff. Even if they do, you could always just get whatever else you needed again. You were far too excited to dwell on the small stuff right about now.
Landing on a rooftop, crouchedâyou walk down the wall of the apartment complex, and look around for civilians. As he told youâthe streets around the back of the building were practically deserted.
You count the amount of rooms from the side, up and down.
"Row 5, Apartment block... 2..." You hum, and nod to yourself.
You tap your necklace and the nanobots all crawl off your body, leaving you in your regular clothes. You land safely on the balcony of the room you were given.
You smooth out your flared jeans and take in a deep breath. Then, you bring up your knuckles, and knock.
The glass screen door opens before you can say fantastic.
A small pair of arms wrap around your torso and knock you backwardsâyou fall on your ass and let out a loud laugh.
"Spidey!!! [name]!!!"
"Is that who I think it is?!" You tease, eyes squinted upwards and the young kid buries into your stomach. His giggles are muffled by the fabric and he squeezes you so tight you'd be inclined to chokeâif it wasn't you. "Frankie!! How's my favourite Richard?"
"I can't believe you'd say that, [name]. That hurts." A familiarly sweet voice speaks.
"Sue!" You grin, taking in the sight of the blonde and her husband by her side. You get upâFranklin stumbles behind youâand crash into her arms.
She chuckles, patting your back and smiling down at you, "I missed you too, [name]. You always manage to find yourself in the strangest situations, don't you?"
Reed cradles his chin, "Well, we were technically the cause of this distortion in reality, Susanâ"
But seeing the expression on both your and his wife's face; he stops himself. Only smiling sheepishly. "My apologies. It's great to see you again, [name]. I didn't think we'd find another familiar face in a different universe."
"You're getting better at this, Reed." You lift yourself from Sue's comforting cradle and grin brightly up at him. "I didn't think I'd see all of you guys again, either. When you all disappeared for so longâI was wondering if something bad happened."
"Hah! Ta us? You kiddin'? Ya more bug-brained 'den that spider that bit ya!"
"Ben!!!" You go flying toward the rock-encased man and wrap your arms around his comfortingly tough neck. He spins you around and lets you down with a loud laugh.
"'Ey kid, how're ya? Heard ya tackled ol' matchstick 'ere outta the sky!" He slaps his rocky chest laughingâin the corner of your eye, Johnny stands behind him, unimpressed.
He walks up beside you, swinging an arm around your neck and snarks, "Yeahâwell, Spidey's always been known for catching people off guard, huh? Creepin' up when you least expect it."
"You're making [name] sound like a villain, Unc!" Frankin, who had found himself attached to the side of your shirt, sticks out his tongue.
Johnny recoils, face falling in pure horror as he dramatically points at the young boy, "UNC??!! I... I'm an Unc now...??? I'm not even 19! I can't be an Unc!!!"
You burst out into laughter at the genuineness of Johnny's expression, watching as he freaks out about being "old". Sue and Reed roll their eyesâwhile Ben is there with you, laughing his ass off like he'd just gotten a home run on Yancy Street.
Franklin looks at your laughing expression and starts giggling alongâjumping up and down beside you with sparkling eyes.
"Stop laughing, [name]! We're the same age!" Johnny points, accusatory. "If I'm an Unc, you're a...!"
"Doesn't matter. I'm cooler than Uncle Johnny anyways, right Frankie?" You grin, picking up Franklin as he cuddles into your neck.
"Mhm!" He nods eagerly.
Johnny sends you a blazing glare, lips pouted out. "You and me. We'reâ" He gestures to the two of you. "âgonna have some issues, here. Okay. Everyone knows I'm the cool Uncle."
"No, that's Benny!" Franklin points to Ben.
The look on Johnny's face shifts into utter disbeliefâBen falls out of his chair laughing wildly.
"Gosh, I missed you so much, kid." You pull at one of Franklin's cheeks and chuckle. He stares at you in awe for a few seconds, before hugging the side of your head and giggling.
"I missed you too!"
That same warmth fills each crevice and pore of your body, as you huddle close to your dear friends and let yourself feel at home for this small moment.
Meanwhile, in the dark of night, a pair of azure eyes watches, sharp and unnerving in the back of your skull.
You notice it. Of course you do. Your mind is tingling with that buzzâbut you want to enjoy this night of nothing but home, even if only once.
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#đ§žâ° the ballad of a bygone blight#platonic yandere batfam#yandere batfam x reader#yandere dc x reader#yandere batfam#yandere jason todd#platonic yandere batfam x reader#platonic batfam x reader#platonic batfam#yandere batfam x neglected reader#batfam x neglected reader#neglected reader#batfam x reader#batman x reader#bruce wayne x reader#nightwing x reader#dick grayson x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd x reader#tim drake x reader#damian wayne x reader#cassandra cain x reader#spider reader#© iliverae 2025 !
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PRIMADONNA. GOJO SATORU / M!READER
summary. the easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach â in more than one way.
wc. 9k
tags. smut | dom top reader, sub bottom gojo, husbands gojo/reader, teacher reader. anniversary sex, "sir" for reader + "puppy" for gojo, oral (r. receiving), praise + degradation (gojo receiving), humping, riding, light s/m, bondage (wrists), overstimulation + multiple orgasms (gojo), belly bulge + size kink, crying, off-screen gojo in lingerie
"Satoru."
You smile, your eyes crinkling at the corners.
"If I don't get delayed, I'll be returning at night after my mission. It's a long plane ride back, so don't stay up for me, alright?"
Satoru was miffed, to say the least. How dare they steal away his husband on such short notice? You barely had time to pack a suitcase. And worst of all? It coincided with your anniversary.
For the first time in ten years, he would be spending that day alone. He wanted to be angry â angry at those spineless geezers cooped up in that musty room â but all he could really feel was disappointment. You'd been an anchor for so long that he felt listless without you by his side, throwing the weight of your name behind his whenever he did something he thought was right.
Whatever. At least he woke up to a 'happy anniversary' voice message from you that morning.
"An exponential is a function of the form f of x equals a to the power of x, where a cannot equal one, zero, or anything less than zero. You'll want to note down these eight laws on the board. I'd recommend putting them in a table at the top of a page so you don't have to go flipping for them in exams. I'll go through them one at a time."
Satoru drops the white stick of chalk for a pale blue one, which he then uses to scrawl a line of numbers in a blank space on the left side of the blackboard. "So â a to the x, a to the y equals a to the x plus y. This is a biggie! You'll see it a lot. When bases a are the same and the terms are multiplied, the exponents are added. Added. Don't multiply them."
"Sensei!" Yuji's hand shoots up into the air. "Why aren't they multiplied?"
"Great question!" He glances over the board, then erases a large chunk of old numbers in one fell swoop. Nobara stops writing immediately with an odd expression and Satoru laughs, waving a hand as if to dissipate her troubles. "You can copy off Megumi's notes for that example, Kugisaki. Just leave a space for it."
He continues, "Now, Yuji, we remember that an exponential is multiplying the base by itself a certain number of times, yes? Let's use two raised to the power of three. That's two times two times two. Now, if you have two to the power of four, that's two by two by two by two. Phew, what a mouthful. Are we tracking?"
"Yes, sir!"
"Good! We'll multiply these terms now. Wait!" He raises a finger and splits the two strings of numbers into two sets of brackets. "Putting these brackets here to separate the terms for clarity... Anyway â because the base number, two, is being multiplied over and overâ" He slashes a little multiplication sign between the two brackets. "Ta-da! You've got two multiplied by itself seven times, so the answer is two to the power of seven. Therefore, you can skip this whole process in your written answers and just add the powers! Yay!"
"That's crazy."
"When it clicks, it clicks, right?" Satoru snaps his fingers, and to Yuji's left, Megumi snaps out of staring out of the window. "No slacking, Megumi! I can see you daydreaming over there."
"Kinda hard not to with only three students," Nobara mutters under her breath. At least when she dozes off, it's not with her head turned ninety degrees and propped on a fist. Seriously â it's like Megumi never learnt to nap discreetly at the back of the class. Come to think of it, she's certain he's never hidden earbuds under his hair, either.
"Sorry," he murmurs nonchalantly. "I'm not a maths person."
"Megumi, you're tearing me apart."
He shrugs.
"Since what you're doing is obviously more important than listening to your awesome teacher, would you like to share with the class?" Satoru drawls with a shit-eating grin. He sets the chalk aside, dusting off his hands, and leans over his desk, hands flat and forming a triangle with his thumbs and forefingers. "Is there a girl, Megumi-chan? A boy? Ah, a teenager's first love â I still remember mine as if it were yesterday..."
"Cut it out, you're not that old." Megumi glances outside again. Satoru follows his line of sight, but nothing stands out to him. "There was a guy on campus. Looked like a weirdo."
"Oh, for the love of â do you not remember what a finger to the lips means?"
Behind his blindfold, Satoru's eyes shoot open. It's uncomfortable, but so is his face-splitting smile, so wide it hurts his jaw.
None of that matters. He explodes with joy.
"Baby!" he squeals. He launches himself with the speed of a fastball at the person standing in the doorway. It's a miracle nobody goes crashing through the opposite wall.
"You're back, you're back," Satoru coos, burying his face in your shoulder and squeezing your middle so tightly that your spine pops. "Oh, man, you have no idea how much I missed you!"
You laugh, a little wheezy from having the air knocked out of your lungs, and pat his back. A ring glints on your finger. He presses himself deeper into you and you have to brace to stop yourself from toppling over. You close your eyes and inhale the soft floral scent of his hair, which draws out all the tension in your body. Lord knows you've accumulated a lot of it recently.
"There, there," you hum, gently grasping the back of his neck to peel him off you. For the first time, you get a good look at him. He hangs from the nape of his jacket like a kitten, a big dumb grin on his face. His pale cheeks are flushed, and your heart races a little from his sheer excitement. It's flattering.
What a sweetheart.
"We can talk later," you murmur with a smile, setting him down on flat feet. "Just wanted to stop by to drop off your lunch."
He glances down at the lunchbox-sized insulated bag in your hand. He accepts it gently, cradling it like gold. "My lunch...?"
"Mm, that's right. I hate to imagine how you fared without me." You slip a hand into the pocket of your pants. "I'll cook tonight, okay? Anyway, that's all. Toodle-oo."
"Wait!" Yuji slams his hands against his desk as his chair screeches against the ground. "Did I hear that right? Did sensei call you 'baby'?"
"Yes," you say, and Satoru's heart flutters at the pride in your voice. "You must be Itadori Yuji, and you must be Kugisaki Nobara. Satoru spoke of you often. Nice to finally meet you â I'm Satoru's husband."
Nobara replies in kind with a little bow and a polite greeting. Megumi's the only one still sitting, sheltering his eyes with his hand as if he can hide from the inevitable embarrassment. She turns to Satoru with an accusing glare, her hands on her hips. "No way you scored a guy like that with your personality! What'd you do, huh? Promise him money?"
"He hasn't even introduced himself yet and you're already taking his side?" Satoru whines, both of his arms wrapped around your own.
"I can tell that he's a respectable and dutiful man. You, however..."
"I mean, opposites attract, right?" Yuji offers kindly.
"Yuji! Are you saying I'm not a respectable person?" He huffs. "I'm telling Suguru to work you guys twice as hard tomorrow morning. Ridiculous..."
Nobara jabs an accusing finger at him. "You're ridiculous. Which is why I'm so shocked that anyone with any sense would marry you."
"Thrice as hard."
"Easy," you murmur to Satoru fondly. "But he's right about one thing. I haven't introduced myself properly. My name is YN Gojo-LN. You'll have me as a teacher next year. Call me LN-sensei â helps avoid the confusion."
Satoru tugs on your sleeve with a pout. "C'mon... I like it when you use my name. They're not gonna get confused by it. After all, I am the prettier one."
"Hard disagree, sensei," Nobara says flatly.
You smile as Satoru presses himself further into your side, wrapping your arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry, darling. You're plenty good-looking to me."
"You think so?"
"I know so, my beautiful little lily," you say affectionately, pinching his cheek. He holds your hand to his cheek, leaning into it, and Nobara nearly gags at the dopey expression on Satoru's face and the way his leg kicks up behind him like a schoolgirl with a crush. She glances at Megumi with disbelief written on her face and jabs a thumb over her shoulder. He nods solemnly as you coo over Satoru, your voice light and bouncy like a summer breeze.
You turn your attention back to the three first-years, all looking far more attentive after their break from staring at slanting strings of numbers. "It was lovely to meet you â and good to see you, too, Megumi, I can see you slouching there â but Satoru is only one-out-of-eight exponential laws explained. I'm not about to be the cause of bad grades. Ciao, everyone."
Reluctantly, Satoru unfolds himself from around you, and you're quite surprised. You'd think he'd fight harder to keepâ
He seizes your wrist in a steely grip and drags you out into the hall. He shuts the door on his students' exclamations.
Immediately, he collapses into your chest, rather more raw and vulnerable than earlier. You wrap your arms around him and coo into his ear, cupping the back of his neck. He sighs, short and sharp and a little shaky, and his breath puffs against your collarbone.
"I was worried I'd lose you," he whispers, hands gliding all over your body as if to prove to himself that you're all still there, warm and complete and ready to embrace him. "Those damn idiots, taking you from me. Especially at a time like this..."
"Relax, dearie," you hum, and the old nickname makes his lips twitch upwards. "I was your equal for a while. I won't keel over so easily."
"You took on two special grades at once and went in ill-prepared because they couldn't do their damn jobs. How am I supposed to trust them when they can't even count to two?"
"Then trust me," you implore, cupping his cheek. He's always been thin, but you're glad you're back. Maybe he'll be less cranky with some meat in his stomach. "Always said we'd get through this together, didn't we? That includes dealing with the elders. I've got your back, but let's not make problems now â not when we have Yuji to look after."
He sighs and pushes his cheek into your shoulder a little harder, rubbing his face into you like a cat. His hair tickles your cheek. His grip tightens, then loosens. "Ugh. You're crampin' my style. Rebellion suits me."
"Obedience suits you better," you murmur lowly, and Satoru shivers at the timbre of your voice. Your hand slips down to cup his chin, lifting his face to yours. His breath hitches. "Listen to me, Satoru. You know I'm right."
He exhales shakily as you dip your head, lips brushing his. He leans into it, trying to take more, but you turn away. "Butâ"
"Satoru."
Heat zings up his spine. Your nails dig slightly into his skin and he swallows harshly, burning up under the weight of your gaze. Half condescending and half tender, you rake your stare over him from head to toe. It lasts no longer than a second but Satoru's knees weaken anyway.
"Just don't do anything without me," you whisper, bringing his face closer to yours. You press your lips to his and he fists the front of your shirt tightly, gasping as your free hand glides down his waist to rest on the small of his back. He arches slightly and tilts his head to deepen the kiss.
He tastes like sugar and oranges and despite the not-so-sweet flavour of the coffee you had earlier, he devours you as if his life depends on it, tongue twisting with yours. He moans softly at the smoky roasted taste, dark and rich. Even after all these years, he marvels at how perfectly he matches with you â the yin to your yang, the shrike to your thorn. He'd be missing out any other way.
His heartbeat quickens. You can feel it beneath his ribs, his chest pressed to yours, and even through his thick clothes you can feel him yearn for you â the very essence of his bright soul twists and tumbles, reaching for yours. He is the orchid to your oak and just as needy.
Before you forget yourself and get too handsy in the middle of the school hallway, you draw away, tugging your hands back to your sides. Satoru whines softly with the loss of your touch and your lips on his. He lifts his face, lips pursed into a pout as he chases another kiss. You press a finger against his lips with a chuckle.
"Not yet, Satoru. You still haven't promised me."
He pushes your hand away impatiently. "Promise." He puckers up and leans in again.
You click your tongue and grab a fistful of his hair, keeping him at bay the same way you would with an overly-affectionate cat. You lift a brow. "And what are you promising?"
He groans, and you know he's rolling his eyes under his blindfold. "That I'm not gonna make trouble for us. I promise I won't square up against a bunch of geriatrics. Happy, baby? Can I get my kiss, now?"
"Only one more." You dip in, and Satoru hums appreciatively. You open your eyes again with a tiny smile. "There. Now, off you go. You have maths to teach, nerd."
"You're a nerd," he rebuts automatically. "You don't have to leave, y'know. Just sit in the back, like the principal does."
"I'd just be a distraction for you."
"But you'd make me happy. Come on. It's our anniversary."
"The answer's no, Satoru." You smile, tugging his hair gently, and his head feels light. He understands why they call it lovesick. "G'luck, sweetheart."
His bottom lip juts out and he crosses his arms, glancing aside. He ruffles his hair roughly as if to drag himself out of his own thoughts. "Fine... Will I see you later?"
"Mm. I'll take a nap when I get home and then start on dinner. I was thinking something Thai?" You touch his shoulder and he shivers slightly, fingers wrapped loosely around your wrist. It's endearing how infatuated he is with you. You fix his blindfold, smoothing out the sides. "Get home safely, Satoru."
"Yessir." He darts in one last time, sneaking in one last kiss on the cheek. He grins, playful and flushed, as you grumble something about being an 'enabler'. You lift a hand and begin to turn away.
When you're halfway down the hall, he calls out, "You better make it up to me, hot stuff!"
"You're spoilt enough as it is," you call back, eyes crinkling. "Toodles!"
Satoru hums a little tune under his breath as he steps back into the classroom, sliding the door closed behind him. There's a bounce in his step as he moves towards his desk, hovering over a textbook and flipping forward a few pages to find new equations to throw up on the board.
After a pause, with Satoru's soft humming the only thing filling the room, Nobara finally breaks the silence.
"So, sensei... are you gonna tell us what that was all about?"
He glances up, a clueless smile on his face. "Eh? What was what about?"
She stares, appalled. "Uh, the fact that you're married? To the coolest-looking guy I've seen here? He must really be something if he's got you wrapped around his finger like that..."
Megumi sits up in his seat, picking up his pen and ruler and busying himself with ruling new margins into his blank pages. "He's not much better than Gojo, Kugisaki. Together, they're both total fools."
"How can he be more of a fool than he already is?"
"You never mentioned a partner, Gojo-sensei," Yuji says, having clearly abandoned any notion of learning. His notebook isn't even open anymore. "How'd you meet?"
"I didn't take you for a romantic, Yuji," Satoru coos, though he tosses his piece of chalk onto the blackboard's ledge and dusts off his hands. He circles the desk to sit back against it, clasping his hands with a wide smile. "We met here, actually! He's older than me, and he was the one who gave me a campus tour and showed me my room. He was just as handsome back then as he is now. I liked hanging out with him a lot."
Yuji's eyes are wide with intrigue. "Oh! Were you high-school sweethearts? That's so neat, sensei!"
"In a way," he replies, voice soft with fondness. "At first, it was a political marriage. He has an influential name and a uniquely powerful technique, so our families thought it was a good idea to pair us up so the other clans would be less likely to stand against our decisions. We became good friends, so we grew to be alright with it â we were basically already living in each other's rooms, anyway. Marrying him meant I could eat his curry more often, so I was honestly pretty eager to move in with him after graduating."
"Really? You seemed like the type of person to be bad with spice," Nobara comments, tilting her chair on its back legs. "Guess I was wrong."
Leaning back, Megumi speaks around Yuji's body. "No, he is. LN-san often makes two dishes â one with spice, one without. He started when I was a kid, but he still does it for Gojo."
Nobara clicks her tongue. "What? Seriously â he's way too good for you, sensei! I can't believe this. The idea that someone like you had a boyfriend at my age when I don't... I'm, like, actually upset."
"I mean, I also gained two children shortly after, so maybe you should wait a bit for a boyfriend, Kugisaki," Satoru says thoughtfully, tapping his chin. Megumi's face reddens at the statement and his knuckles turn white around his pen.
"Don't say that," he scoffs. "Your marriage had nothing to do with the two of us!"
Pouting, Satoru wags a finger in his direction. "So rude, Megumi-chan! I'm telling your dad. No curry for you for a month."
He rolls his eyes and his mouth curls. "You're annoying."
Nobara snorts and hides her snickers behind her palm. She leans in Yuji's direction and whispers, "Guess he's got a favourite parent."
He nods in agreement. Clearing his throat, Yuji dutifully raises his hand, looking grave. "Sensei, if you're married, why don't you wear a ring?"
"Hm? I do! Wanna see it? Oh, of course you do, you asked," he says cheerfully. He thrusts a hand down the tall neck of his collar and pulls out a silver chain, off of which hangs a platinum band studded with tiny, glittering diamonds. He beams, turning the pretty little thing this way and that to catch the light. "His is more traditional, 'cause he's a fuddy-duddy, but silver suits my skin tone better and diamonds are a classic."
He unclasps the chain from around his neck, and Yuji and Nobara instantly shoot up out of their chairs to inspect the ring closer. They ooh and ahh over it, discussing the bevels and facets and whatnot. He slips the band onto his left hand and shows it off with a beaming smile, nodding proudly when Nobara remarks how well it really does suit him.
"Why is your face so red, Gojo?"
The abrupt question is Megumi's. Like clockwork, everyone turns to him, then turns to Satoru. In response, he only tilts his head with an oblivious smile pasted on his face â his white hair flops over, like a dog's ears. "Eh?"
Megumi sighs and lowers his gaze, scratching tornadoes aimlessly into the margins of his page. "You're terrible â it was two months, not two years. The separation anxiety is crazy."
"He does seem like the type to be clingy," Nobara whispers to Yuji.
"It's not sepaâhe thinks it's cute!" he sputters, lifting his bejewelled ring finger as if it's his middle finger. "Look â he married me for it! Jeez, Megumi, you really know how to make a guy feel bad. And you know what that means."
Megumi's face scrunches. "You're gonna follow him around the house like a lost puppy for the rest of the day."
"Right you are!" says Satoru giddily. "I'm sorta disappointed you don't live with us right now. I could've made it so much worse for you if you and YN went out in public. You'd be begging to learn about exponential and logarithmic functions then."
He turns towards the board and claps his hands, startling all three of his students as the sound echoes through the room. "Speaking of! Rule number two: power x over y with identical base a is equal to a to the x minus y. Back in your seats, boys and girl â I hope everyone's awake now. Let's power through every rule before class ends! Heh â geddit? Power? Because â oh, you're all no fun. I'm funny. Let's continue."
â
With a jingle of keys, Satoru twirls through the front door. "Honey, I'm hooome!"
Your voice floats through the hallway. "In the kitchen!"
He kicks his shoes off and dumps his messenger bag onto the couch. He bounds into the spacious kitchen and slithers up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.
With a chuckle, you take half a step back from the open flame of the stove. "Careful. It's hot."
"Not hotter than you." His voice is muffled against your shoulder. "Didja miss me?"
"Only a little bit. You are a handful." You stir the pot, picking shards of bone out of the broth. Satoru salivates. He can already feel the tender meat falling off the bone. "You're home early, baby. Dinner won't be ready for a while."
"Rushed back to see you." He kisses your neck, inhaling deeply. The scent of your cologne is heady and woodsy, and he's embarrassed to admit that he's used it on himself when the ache really got to him. "Maybe we can... spend some time together...?"
You laugh, the sound rumbling through your chest, and Satoru smiles automatically. "Eager little thing. You really want to do that now, when I'm obviously very busy?"
"Well, the veggies aren't a pressing concern," he points at the covered bowl, "and the soup's not done. Put it on low and you have both hands free to do things with me."
"And what 'things' would that entail, Satoru?"
"Fun things." He pushes his blindfold up, revealing his startling blue eyes. He looks up at you through his white lashes, a cheeky smile spreading across his face. "Things involving this," he points at his lips, "and this." He points at yours.
Because your hands are damp from dealing with the vegetables, you can't touch him, but you turn and lean in his direction and he drapes his arms over your shoulders. You hum, taking in his beauty like an old-timey knight with his secret lover. "Sounds a bit boring, honestly. We did that earlier. Any other ideas?"
His eyes widen with betrayal. "Whatâ? Fine! Thisâ" his lips "âand this." His hand lowers to the zip of your jeans, brushing over the front. His tongue flickers over his lower lip as he glances down, as if he's imagining it already, and you struggle to keep your composure. His eyes lift to yours. "Yeah?"
You draw in a breath. "Nah. You don't last long enough for that."
"Mou," he whines, brows furrowing, "I can! Just let me show you â y'know, I've been practicing. I've definitely gotten better."
"Whore," you mutter affectionately, slipping out of his arms to wash your hands. You tug your sleeves higher and Satoru sighs dreamily at the sight, cupping his cheek. "You seriously want to do this now? I could burn down the house on accident."
"Yes, I wanna do it now," he huffs, hooking a slender finger beneath his blindfold, as if showing off how long and pretty they are. "The house is insured."
"You â You're ridiculous, baby." You dry your hands and face him properly, gaze flickering over his body. He squirms slightly, fidgeting with his collar. "Hm... Suppose I say yes. What would you do?"
"Ah," he breathes, stepping closer. He places his hands on your chest, pretending to fix your collared shirt, and you rest one on his hip, tugging him in. He flashes you a flustered smile as he bumps into you. "Well, I'd, um â I'd kiss it."
"Mm."
"And I'd... lick the tip, 'nd..." He shakes his head and headbutts your shoulder, eyes squeezing shut with an embarrassed titter. "Babe, don't make me say it! I'll show you, okay? I'll show you how much I missed you. Spoilers: it's a lot."
"Well, when you put it like that..." You dial down the stovetop's heat until the flame is all but gone. Satoru's grin widens. "I'm interested."
He smirks and pecks your cheek, grabbing your hand and dragging you out of the kitchen. He pushes you down on the couch in the living room, taking a moment to shuck off his jacket and tug his shirt hem out from his beltline. He drapes himself over your lap, long legs bracketing yours, and places his hands on your shoulders.
Naturally, your hands come to rest upon his thighs.
He pauses. Have your hands always looked so large compared to him...? He swallows, Adam's apple bobbing. His cock stirs in his tight pants.
You lean back with a soft sigh, stroking his thighs absently. Your touch borders on his ass when it shifts up his hips and his breath hitches. You lift a brow, seemingly unaware of his racing heart. "So? Now what?"
"Shut up," he mumbles, reaching to help pull your t-shirt over your head. "Just admiring my hubby, y'know? Most would be flattered. You're mean for no reason."
"A second ago you were ready to jump my bones." You allow him to toss the shirt on the couch beside you, and his hands run appreciatively down your chest and stomach. "Let's go back to that."
"Yessir," he says breathily. He meant it teasingly, but it comes out with a slight tremor in the middle. His cheeks flush as you grab the front of his shirt and drag him towards you.
He whimpers softly as you press his ass down against your lap, his lips trapped against yours. He rocks his hips. The half-hard bulge in your pants demands his attention, and he moans your name as you pop open his shirt roughly, hands exploring his soft, smooth skin.
"Excited, are we?" you murmur, nibbling the side of his neck. The wet heat of your tongue makes him shiver, nails digging into your shoulders.
"S-Says you," he retorts, gasping softly as your callused fingers find his nipples, cute and pink. He jerks, stomach tensing, and reaches for your belt shakily, undoing it defiantly. "Not f-fair. Fuck, be gentle..."
You shake your head, exhaling softly as Satoru manages to fish you out of your open fly. Your length slaps his wrist. "We can be gentle or we can be done in time for dinner. Your choice."
Twitching as you flick his chest again, he whimpers. "You..."
"I?"
He gulps, blue eyes trained on the thick cock in his hands. He grips the base and twists his fist up and down the shaft, brushing his thumb over the slick slit. You groan softly, switching your attention to the other side of his neck. He tilts his head with a tremulous sigh, allowing you better access to his fair skin.
"I really did miss you, you know," he says quietly, stroking you to full mast. "Your smile, your body next to mine when I wake up... and this cock. Nothing's better than your cock."
With a chuckle, you squeeze his hips, feeling them twitch under your grip. Cute â sensitive. "Yeah? My pretty doll missed my cock?"
"Mhm. Tried other things while you were away." He shuffles off your lap, sliding between your knees with ease. He gazes up at you, one hand on your thigh and one hand on your cock, and licks his lips, glancing away. His cheeks are red. "But nothing can get me off like you can. You always fill me up so good, always treat me right..."
He leans forward, wrapping his pink lips around the head of your cock. His eyes flutter shut and his tongue swirls around your slit â the taste of your precome curls a ball of arousal in his lower belly, and he widens his knees slightly in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure. It doesn't help.
"Fuck, Satoru," you murmur, combing your fingers through his silver hair. His blindfold acts as a headband for his bangs, and you're afforded a full view of his creased concentrated brows and his wide-blown pupils. He bobs his head, thick lashes fluttering against his cheekbones, and swallows several inches of your cock.
But that's as far as he gets before he gags and pulls back, gasping wetly as his pale chest heaves. Nervously, he glances up at you, only to grow more desperate at the lazy grin on your face.
You prop your cheek on a fist. "What was that about improvement, Satoru? Seems about the same to me."
His frown deepens. "It's not my fault! You're justâ"
"Excuses don't befit you."
His jaw snaps shut audibly. He reaches forward, taking your cock in both hands, and spits on it, smearing it down your length. You hum softly as he takes the tip into his hot mouth again, and his tongue flicks against the glans hungrily.
His nails dig into your thigh as he regulates his breathing, slowly bobbing his head down half of your length.
You have to hand it to him â he's gotten quicker at getting to this point. Still, he's shuddering, and he's clearly a mess, eyes glistening and lips slick with saliva. He looks small, shoulders pulled in, and so, so pretty as he chokes down your cock, determined to do it right.
"Oh, Satoru," you purr sympathetically, petting his hair. "Nearly thirty and you still can't suck cock to save your life... what'll I do with you?"
He pulls back with a slick pop, eyes wide and glossy. His voice is hoarse. "N-No, I can! I can, I promise, j-just let me try againâ"
"You're my good boy, aren't you?"
The words die in his mouth. Head foggy, he nods, throat bobbing as he stares up at you.
You stroke his cheek, smiling softly as he leans into it and kisses your palm. "Let me fuck your mouth. Maybe your toys are just too small to be of any real help, huh?"
Ashamed, Satoru swallows, picking at his shirt cuffs. He inclines his head a few degrees, barely a nod, but he allows you to gently guide his mouth around your cock once more. He wanted to show you how much he loved you, how you wouldn't have to do all the work anymore, but there was something so addicting about the way you controlled his body that he was a little glad to have failed. His eyes slide closed as you grip the back of his neck and hold back his bangs, guiding your cock down his throat.
He moans softly, his own dick throbbing inside his pants as you hit the back of his throat. He swallows around it dutifully, grasping your thighs for balance as you pull him down on your cock.
"Good boy. That's it. Such a good boy f'me." Your voice is a low murmur, flowing in one ear and out the other. Satoru whines quietly, the vibrations making you groan, and saliva drips down your shaft. You lean back and lift your hips slightly, pushing into his mouth.
He gags slightly but settles quickly, tongue gliding against the velvety veins of your dick. Your grip on him is firm but gentle â if you let go, he'd slump like a ragdoll against your leg, no doubt about it. He rocks his hips pathetically against nothing, whimpering as you fuck his throat, and you take pity â you shift your leg between his knees.
He fists your jeans, knuckles white, and moans as he grinds against your leg, his cock throbbing against his zipper. His whimpers sound broken, choppy, in a way you recognise as gratefulness. Thank you, thank you. Your dick pulses and he swallows, drooling and panting with his lips stretched white around you. He swallows greedily around you, the shape of your cock distending his slender throat.
"It's okay," you hum, brushing the tears from the corner of his eye. "You don't need to do anything. Not when I'm here. You just need to be my pretty puppy, yeah? Let me take care of everything. I got you."
A rough shudder runs through his body. He shoves his cock against your leg. He twitches, hips jerking involuntarily, and you can't help the fondness in your voice when you coo at him.
"Oh, sweetheart..."
Carefully, you pull him off of you, and his tongue lolls out of his mouth as he pants, eyes clouded and hazy. His grasp on your leg tightens as you lean forward, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.
"Poor thing. Must be pretty pent up, huh?" You pull him up, and it takes a moment for him to find his balance. You tug his slacks down his hips, but the square something in his back pocket gives you pause. You dip two fingers inside and pull out a black packet.
"Condoms?" You glance up at Satoru, who looks anywhere but at you. "You planned this, didn't you? Dirty puppy."
He wrings his hands, finding his voice. "I-I'm sorry... I just â it's our anniversary, 'n' I thoughtâ"
"You thought you'd be cute," you finish for him, and he nods with a soft pout. You reach in again and pull out another. And another. It's a row of them, separated by perforated tear lines, and his face grows red as you lift a disbelieving brow at them. You let the string of them hang from your fingers like a grocery receipt.
"Satoru... How many of these do you think we need?"
"I don't know! I'd rather be safe than sorry."
You chuckle and lean forward, pressing a kiss against his stomach. He cups the back of your head, slender fingers playing with your hair absently. "You're too cute. Wanna put one on for me?"
"You just like it when I touch you," he mumbles, but accepts the little square. He kicks off his slacks and underwear and takes a seat on your lap, tearing the packet open with his teeth at the same time. His eyes flick up to yours as he slides it down your shaft, his hands warm and pretty wrapped around you. He squeezes â you groan softly â and he whispers, "All done."
"Thank you, baby." You stroke his hips. He giggles in response.
"You can put it in," he murmurs, squeezing your shoulders as he leans forward and aligns your tip with his entrance. "I... Last night..."
"Hm." You watch him rub the tip against his hole â psyching himself up for it, you realise with a smile. "Was that before or after our call?"
His grip tightens. "Ah... After."
"Yeah?" Your smile takes on a dangerous edge and he gulps. "So, when you said you missed me..."
"S-Stop teasing me," he demands, his voice lilting with a whine. His brow furrows and he lowers himself on your cock, gasping as the head breaches his hole. The lube makes the glide easier, but the delicious burn of the stretch has his eyes fluttering and rolling back. The warmth... he's missed this. A toy couldn't have him shaking on his knees on the first thrust. Pain makes tears prick at his eyes. "Ohh, god..."
Satoru braces both hands against your shoulders, his toes curling in his black socks. He whimpers softly as you lean forward, pressing your chests together, in order to ease your cock deeper inside him. He rocks his hips, shallow and jagged, and presses his lips fervently to yours as he drops his hips and takes you all the way down to the base.
Tears prick at his eyes and he moans, long and loose and relieved. Your cock rests perfectly against his prostate, hot and thick, and every minuscule shift of his body has you rubbing deliciously against it. His cock throbs, dusky against his alabaster skin. His stomach flexes.
"Good?" you whisper, hot breath fanning against his throat. He shudders and nods, reaching back and spreading his asscheeks to swallow you deeper. His head falls to your shoulder as he lifts and lowers his hips messily, lips parted to gasp and pant softly.
You take over, hands big and rough on the creamy meat of his ass. There are new calluses on your palms, and a shard of annoyance cuts its way into the pleasured fog of Satoru's mind. Trying to appoint you clan leader through marriage â and therefore safe from the nuisance of arduous missions â had backfired fantastically, and now all those old coots know how much you mean to him.
Like, what was the point of marrying you to each other if you both still had to do the dirty work? Why couldn't he, as the strongest and least likely to complete the paperwork, simply come home to your kisses? You might hate him for making you do all the accounting and logistical work, but at least you'd be safe. He's very good at shoulder massages. The occasional assassin would be like swatting a fly to you.
"Sweetheart," you croon, snapping him out of his stewing displeasure. You grasp his chin in your hand and turn his face to yours, pressing a light kiss to the tip of his nose. He hums softly. "What's wrong?"
"I want you to be here every day," he whispers, pressing his cheek against yours. "Don't wanna have to make up for lost time like this. Drives me crazy."
"Oh, puppy... I know. But hey," you say, thrusting up into him and making him gasp, "you're hot when you're needy. And I'm all too willing to indulge you."
He clenches down around you. His cock twitches. "Mm, really? We could try using up all those condoms..."
You roll your eyes. "You're incorrigible."
"What does that â ah!"
He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as you thrust up roughly into him and drag him down at the same time, his ass slapping your hips. He scrambles to brace himself, his cock dripping a weak spurt of precome on his stomach. His chest heaves, his face flushed and his eyes wide. His eyes are blown with lust, deep ocean-blue, and his lip quivers as you repeat it, fucking up into his soft, eager little hole hungrily.
Satoru pants, breaths rough and uneven, as he tries his best to ride your cock. But with every thrust, you slam against his prostate and knock the thoughts out of his skull. He stutters and moans, trying to repeat himself â because really, what do you mean he's incorrigible? â but you've got a wicked grin on your face that spells nothing but trouble for him.
"W-Wait," he squeaks out, arms trembling as he tries to hold himself up on your chest. "I'llâ!"
"Come for me," you grunt, rolling his hips on your cock in a way that has his vision blooming with stars. "Lemme see you, Satoru. Let me see you, puppy."
He lets out a loud, sharp whine as his body jerks and his cock spurts, painting your stomach with thick ropes of white. The flush of his cheeks extends down his neck and chest, prettily pink, and he collapses against your chest, lazily rolling his hips and riding out his high.
Cooing his name softly, you pet his hair, which he melts into like pudding. His hum is like a purr when your nails scrape lightly against his scalp. "Good boy... so gorgeous when you come, aren't you? Did so well for me, sweetheart."
You begin to tug his blindfold down, as the rapid flickering of his eyes betrays how overwhelmed he is, but he shakes his head, nudging your hand to instead pull it off.
"No," he whines, raising his bright, flitting eyes to your face. They steady when they focus on your face, and his features soften. "Wanna see you. All of you." He exhales, a little shaky. "You still haven't finished."
"It'll be too much for you. Let's stop here."
He scowls. "How do you know that?"
"Iâ"
"Yeah, that's right. You don't. I can keep going." He lifts himself up on his knees until just the tip rests inside him, then drops back down. He swallows a whimper. "S-See? M'fine!"
Your brow furrows slightly as you hold him still. "Satoruâ"
"Please," he interrupts, eyes wide and pleading. "Baby, please, I can do it. Want you to come, too, okay? I want to â because I love you."
You didn't think sudden love confessions in the middle of sex could be so hot.
A breathless grin makes its way across his lips when you glance away and sigh, your hands tightening on his waist. It's the perfect place to grab, slim and fitting just right against your palms. He places his hand against your stomach between his legs, arching his back ever so slightly.
"Well," you drawl, shifting slightly. His breath hitches as your cock brushes his prostate. "Then maybe you could show me how much you love me."
"Youâ" He lets out a bitten moan as you move his hips, helping him grind against you. "Baby."
In response, you only offer a smirk, eyes glinting.
He sighs shakily and nods, leaning back and bracing against your knees. The position tightens him up and you groan, head tipping back against the couch backrest. He traces shallow ovals over your lap, his hole fluttering against you with every tug.
"Feeling unsteady, puppy?" you remark, but it's softer than your usual teasing. You trace his ribs, thumbs brushing over his nipples. He whimpers.
"No," he breathes, quickening his pace. His half-hard cock smacks his stomach with every harsh drop of his hips, the reddened tip dripping and slick. "I got it."
It's hard to act as if the sight doesn't affect you. His lean muscles flex with every shift, and as he sucks in a shuddering breath, a bulge pokes his belly. The print of it appears and disappears with each roll of his hips.
"Fuck," you hiss, gliding your hand down and pressing a thumb against it. Satoru twitches and stutters at the sight, letting out a ruined cry when words fail him. His breath grows ragged as he rides you harder, eyes wet with need. The bulge in his tummy moves with him.
His white hair is dark silver at the ends, stuck to his temples. A thin sheen of sweat coats his body, shimmering when it catches the light. With his milky skin, it's as if he's been brushed with crushed pearls.
You reach up and brush a thumb against his bitten lower lip, plush and warm. He parts them and presses his tongue against the pad of your thumb, moaning as you push it in. He grabs your wrist, nails digging into your skin, and lavishes wet kisses upon it. His tongue swirls around your thumb as if it was your cock and he pants hotly, lips pursing ever-so-slightly around it.
Your cock throbs inside him. The beginnings of a smug grin tug at his pillowy lips, and his eyes flash confidently. They falter and roll back into his skull as you bury your cock inside him with a rough thrust â he melts into your touch, his pretty little cock pulsing and dripping precome down his shaft and balls.
"You're so good to me," you chuckle throatily, pushing your thumb deeper into his mouth. He moans sharply. The whiplash between your warm, caressing palm and the violence with which you fuck him makes him downright dizzy. "Maybe I should take long business trips more often."
At that, he lets out a wrecked little sob, shaking his head. He leans deeper into you.
"No?" He shakes his head again, cerulean eyes clouded and unfocussed as you force his hips up and down from tip to base, knocking the breath out of his lungs. "Oh, sweet thing..."
His legs quiver. He's barely holding himself up, his sensitive hole aching with the sharp burn each time you pull out. You press his face into the crook of your neck and he mewls as you tug his arms behind his back, your hands strong and firm. He feels powerless like this, buried in the scent of your sweat and cologne, and all he can do is moan.
He stiffens when something snaps around his wrists. He arches back, trying to spot it. "Whatâ?"
"Sh-shh, puppy. You're too antsy. Gotta learn to take it slow." You smooth out his blindfold, twisted several times around his slim wrists. You glance down at him, your hair tickling his cheek. "Don't you?"
It feels like he's breathing soup. His heart hammers and he clenches around you, knees and feet scrabbling for purchase against the couch without the use of his arms. He whimpers, tugging at the bindings. His fingers flex. "Y-Yes, sir..."
"Good boy."
And god, do you take it slow. He's a mess in minutes, teary-eyed and trembling, as you use him like a toy, lifting and lowering him on your cock, which feels all too big and thick in his swollen, abused hole. He swears he can taste it. He babbles, his sudden orgasm going totally ignored even as he sobs and calls you everything under the sun ranging from his usual pet-names to your title. You ignore him, focussing on keeping your thrusts steady and even.
"Sir," he gasps wetly as his aching cock twitches valiantly. "Sir."
"Yes, puppy?"
His brain is melting out of his ears. Hot tears streak down his flushed cheeks, wetting your shoulder. It's humiliating, being trapped like this on your cock, and he can't help the new ball of arousal swirling low in his belly.
"Too deep..." He lets out a wet whimper as his cock begins to harden again. Oh, stamina. "P-Please â come already..."
"I'm trying pretty hard." You hum, rolling him in your hands like a scientist with their pet project. You sigh as if disappointed. "You're all loose â like a whore."
Choking out a devastated moan, he shuffles on his knees, walls squeezing and swallowing your cock with renewed vigour. "Sir, I'm â 'm notâ"
"Please, Satoru. You already admitted to touching yourself while I was away â you couldn't wait just a few weeks for me to come home. If you were good, you would've kept your hands to yourself. You forget who thisâ" you lift his hips and tap his asshole, making him clench and whine "âbelongs to."
Few weeks? Few weeks? Satoru wants to cry. It isn't his fault his love language is physical touch. Going cold turkey for so long was agonising.
"'M sorry," he whispers, eyes squeezing shut as you dance your fingers over his swollen cock. "O-Oh...!"
You huff, shifting on the couch. You hold him up, his delicate hipbones slotted into the V of your thumb and forefinger. "I know you are, but I'll remind you anyway. You belong to me."
You set a punishing pace, fucking up into him and dragging him down to meet your thrusts. His hair bounces and he cries out, arms flexing against the blindfold. His eyes roll back and he moans, open-mouthed, against your neck, broken little half-sobs punched out of his throat.
He can't get a single full word out. Even his cracked, ruined 'fuck, fuck, fuck' is peppered with whines.
Then your hand comes down, hard, on his ass.
His eyes widen. His mouth opens in a silent scream. He comes.
You groan as thin streaks of come splatter your stomach, his cock rutting against you through it. His hips jerk and he starts to sob openly when your pace only quickens, his ass rippling with each thrust. "Fuck, sir," he wails, "y'feel so good...!"
You massage his stinging cheek, whispering sweet nothings in his ear that float him away into a soft cloud of thoughtlessness. It's so easy to give up control to you â so easy to hand himself over. If he has nothing else to give, you will have him.
Even through the fog of pleasure, he remembers how to kiss you. He would know how even if he lost every memory. He moans into it, raspy and wrecked. His toes curl and bliss weighs down his bones as you groan his name and thrust up once, twice, into him, cock throbbing hotly against his soft, gummy walls. Finally, you sink into the couch, holding him close.
He lays there, slumped against you, as you catch your breath together. His eyes flutter shut, the image of your face as you come seared into his mind, and he giggles drunkenly to himself.
You were so good to him even when you were mean.
Gently, you ease his blindfold off his wrists, and he immediately wraps his arms around your shoulders protectively. You're his, and his only. He sits quietly as you clean up to the best of your ability with him on top of you, and he whines softly when you try to set him aside.
"Satoru," you try.
"I'm sore," he retorts, feeling your chest rise and fall with your breaths. His voice is deliciously ragged and raspy. "Fix me."
"No."
"Then I'm staying right here."
"The house will burn down."
"Let it."
Incorrigible. You sigh and lift him just enough to do up your zipper, then lift him in a princess carry and rise to your feet. Satoru purrs and clutches you tighter, rubbing his cheek into your shoulder as you carry him through the house. "Let's find you some new pants, sweetheart."
"M'kay."
"After that, you're on your own," you warn him, stepping sideways through the bedroom door. He uses it as an excuse to tuck his head in the crook of your neck. "I need to check on the soup. I'll call for you when dinner's ready."
"Mm..." He gazes up at you with a sugar-soft look in his eyes. He rubs his hazy eyes as you set him down on the bed to open up his extensive wardrobe. "But I need to set the table..."
"I'll do it. You just take care of clean-up, yeah?"
"Mhm." Satoru tugs the open sides of his button-up shirt closed and fixes the long hem over his milky thighs. He sighs softly, watching you gather his pyjamas with soft blue eyes. "It's really good to have you home, you know. Everything's back to normal."
"Is that right?" Your voice softens and you cross the room, ducking down to Satoru's level. Expectantly, he lifts his face, closing his eyes, and smiles as you brush back his bangs and press your lips to his forehead. "Then you better make sure to spoil me rotten."
He catches your hand before you can pull away. With a teasing, bitten-back grin, he lowers it, and tugs his shirt hem up. He places your hand on his thigh, dragging it higher.
"Like this?" he whispers, coy when he flutters his lashes at you.
Your fingers dig into the soft, sensitive meat of his thigh. He mewls softly, plush pink lips parting.
You tear your hand away, drawing in a sharp breath. "Fuck. Later. Soup first."
Satoru huffs and rolls his eyes, leaning back on his palms when you scramble out the door. "Stupid soup," he mumbles to himself petulantly. "Why would he eat anything else when I'm right here? Stupid noodles. Stupid husband."
A voice breaks through the silence from down the hall. "I heard that!"
"Good!" He collects the clothes you'd picked out for him, smoothing his fingers down the soft cotton patterns. "I ain't a liar!"
He mumbles a radio song under his breath as he tosses away the plain black boxer shorts into the wardrobe. A sly smirk flickers across his features as he pulls out a pair of baby-blue panties from a drawer, placed right at the front and tucked into a neat little square. It's a pretty thing, lacey and soft, and it sits nice and high on him, accentuating his slender hips. They make his legs go on for ages.
He tucks it into his stack of clothes with an innocent hum, and then off he goes, prancing into the bathroom with an extra pep in his step. He doesn't lock the door behind him.
Satoru understands that you enjoy taking care of him, pampering him like a princess even when he pulls your hair and takes your toys. You always will. It's a wonderful thing, to be loved so sweetly; no one else could do it better.
He needs to return the favour, he thinks, glancing at his clothes and the little secret they hide. Nothing feels like it could ever measure up to what you do for him, but he can do this, and it's a start. Perhaps it'll get him closer to being your equal.
#top male reader#male reader#x top male reader#dom male reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x male reader#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x male reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#top reader#jjk x reader#dom reader#jjk x male reader#gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru#gojo x you#x male reader#sub character#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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Chalkboard Hearts - Pt II



Pairing - Teacher!Steve Harrington x Fem!Mom!Reader
WC - 4.3k
Contains - slow burn, strangers to friends to lovers, single motherhood, kindergarten teacher AU, school field trip, awkward bashful stevie, ONE use of y/n bc the story called for it sorry i donât make the rules, mention of parent death
AN - hereâs part two! Iâm so thankful for the love and support you all showed on the first part and continue to show on all my works. It means so much that you guys enjoy my silly little delusions that i happened to turn into silly little stories!
Much love ~ emma
âWell, sheâs excelling in English and reading, but struggling a bit with our math unit,â your daughterâs new kindergarten teacher informs you across a maplewood desk clad with plenty of miscellaneous trinkets; Abbey sits on a plastic chair next to you. Normally, itâs not recommended to bring your child to a parent/teacher conference, but with the cost of hiring a sitter lately, this was your only feasible option.
âThat being said,â he continues optimistically, âI have plenty of practice worksheets I can send home with you, and if sheâs still not getting it in a few weeks, I'm more than willing to stay after hours to work with her.â
You cringe at the idea of him working overtime for you or Abbey, even if itâs literally his job.
âThatâs very generous, Mr. H, butââ
He cuts you off, speaking your name in a reassuring tone, âI promise, Iâm happy to. Itâs not as if I have anywhere else to be,â he chuckles, gesturing to the empty room where you sit.
He senses your hesitation but continues anyway, âLook, Iâll give you the worksheets, and check back in next week. Deal?â heâs clearly asking you, but Abbey beats you to the punch, âCan I use my crayons?â
âObviously,â he phrases it as though he would expect nothing less.
Abbey gives a barely noticeable little pump of her fist. Sheâs wriggling around in her seat and you can tell sheâs getting antsy with all the âgrownup talkâ. Steve rises first and sticks his hand out for you to shake and when you return the gesture, he takes your palm in both of his.
âHey, Abbeyâs doing great, seriously. You have nothing to worry about,â maybe you look anxious at the prospect of your child struggling in a subject because you somehow werenât attentive enough, or maybe he can just read you like a book. Either way, his hands on you are dizzying.
âI appreciate that,â you offer him a tender smile as he releases you from his grasp. âWhat do you say, Abbey? Wanna head home?â
She immediately deflates at the question. School has been in session for barely two months, and all she can seem to talk about is her new teacher. The car rides home and dinners at the table are spent telling tales of his Star Wars impressions, or how he hangs up every picture heâs given on the corkboard behind his deskâ how he lets the class have extra recess time if they behave all day long, and how he ânever everâ raises his voice.
You can always picture it so easily. Thereâs something naturally whimsical about him, and anyone can tell he was made for this career. Thereâs a distant fear that the infatuation Abbey seems to have with him is caused by the absence of her own father, and you wish constantly to be able to give her thatâ to be two parents for the price of oneâ but as much as she adores you, thereâs always going to be a void in her life that you alone canât fill. It makes you ache to dwell on it for too long.
âCanât we stay just a little bit longer?â She pleads with glistening eyes.
âIâm sure Mr. H wants to get home too, Ab,â at that, her features twist into a pout.
Steve kneels in front of her, âIâm gonna see you on Monday though, right?â She tearfully nods, âGood,â he grins and gives her hair a little ruffle when he stands.
âYou two have a good weekend, and drive home safe, okay?â
You send him a shy wave, âYou too, Mr. H,â
As youâre making your way down the hallway towards the exit with Abbey's hand clasped tightly in yours, you hear a voice along with heavy footfall echo after you, âWait!--â
When you turn around, Steveâs lightly jogging towards you with a flyer in his hand, âI forgot to give you this,â he pants when he catches up. He hands you a colorful paper advertising a class field trip to Spiller Farmâ an orchard a few miles outside of town.
He runs a hand through his hair, mussed from a stressful day doing exactly that, âWe still need a few more chaperones, I wanted to ask if youâd be able to?â
Abbeyâs demeanor becomes instantly lighter as she begins tugging on your arm, âPlease, mommy?!â she begs, as if sheâd even have to. âDefinitely! Let me double check my schedule and make sure Iâm not working,â you smile kindly, âIâll let you know on Monday when I drop her off,â
For a split second, Steve considers just giving you his number before he thinks better of it. You barely know him, for Christâs sake. Iâd look like a complete creep, He thinks.
âY-yeahâ thatâs fine,â he winces at his own awkwardness, âTripâs on Wednesday,â again feeling like a blundering idiot, as the flyer he just handed you clearly states as much.
If you notice though, you donât mention it. You simply say,
 âSee you Monday,â
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
Abbey seemed to be in better spirits by the time you made it home and popped a frozen pizza into the oven. Youâve always envied the rebound rate of her sour moods; maybe you should take a page out of her book.
She sits at the table playing with two perfectly groomed Barbie Dolls. Her other toys were a different storyâ baby dollâs with botched haircuts, stuffed animals with unidentifiable stains and the occasional hole, but her Barbies were always considered with the utmost care a five-year-old could offer.
âMr. H says his favorite pizza is pepperoni,â she says from where she sits behind you, âis that what kind weâre having?â
âNo, silly goose, you donât like pepperoni,â you remind her, âyou always say itâs too spicy,â
âOh, okay,â she sounds indifferent; she trusts you to remember what she likes and dislikes on her behalf, sparing no room in her growing brain for such trivial facts.
âCan I have four slices?â She asks sweetly. You hum and pretend to give it some thought before bargaining, âHow about I give you one slice first, and then if youâre still hungry, you can have more?â
She nods, taking the bait. You eventually make it to the table, plates in hand, and eat the greasy slices in a comfortable silence until Abbey asks,
âWhat kind of pizza did my daddy like?â
Itâs not the first time sheâs asked questions about Jeremy, and you know it wonât be the last, but your heart still sinks a little every time she does.
âYour dad liked hawaiian pizza, that was his favorite,â
ââha-way-enâ?â she mispronounces, âwhatâs that?â her little features contort with confusion.
You correct her pronunciation and reply, âWell, technically Itâs a state, but hawaiian pizza has ham and pineapple on it,â
Her confusion morphs to disgust and she giggles, âEw!â
âI know,â her laughter is contagious, âI donât like it either,â you wave your hand in front of your nose in a âP.Uâ gesture.
Her father is no longer a topic of conversation after that. It was always like thisâ the questions generally mundane and inconsequential, not realizing that the images sheâs conjuring are covered in cobwebs and dust; buried deep in the forgotten corners of your subconscious.
When youâre a kid, nothing holds that kind of weight. Petty things like broken toys or an early bedtime are the most of her worries and memories arenât so burdeningâ yet another thing you envy of her youth.
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
The next few days go by without a hitchâ school, ballet class and homemade dinners every nightâ that is until Wednesday morning when you wake up and are immediately confronted with the sun cascading through your curtains, and your alarm that's been beeping for thirty minutes longer than it normally does.
Abbey is straddling your lap and vigorously shaking your shoulders, âMom! Mom, we have to go!â The panic you feel outweighs the embarrassment of being woken up late by your own child, and you rush to slip on a pair of jeans and the first sweater you make out on top of your hamper.
A sideways glance at the clock tells you that you have exactly three minutes to get out the doorâ it appears that your go-to look lately is bags under your eyes and your hair scooped up into the nearest claw clip. The trend continues today, though youâre able to dab on a little concealer while Abbey puts her boots on in the mudroom.
Youâre both shocked and amazed that sheâs dressedâ her outfit even mostly coordinating. Unfortunately, the remains of what was supposed to be a ham and cheese sandwich are littered all over the counter. Crackers for lunch today it is.
Grabbing her mostly empty backpack, you ask, âYou got everything, Ab?â
âYep!â She shouts, mostly because she was already outside and standing in the driveway, waiting for you to unlock the car for her.
When you get to the school, several golden buses are parked in a single file line and opening their doors for dozens of children to pour in. A little mortified, you realize youâre the last parent here, and silently pray that thereâll still be a seat for you and Abbey on the bus.
Youâre searching for Steve, albeit unconsciously. You arenât acquainted with any of the other teachers, and heâs your life raft in this sea of chaos and PTA soccer moms. You donât have to look for very long though, before your name is being shouted from a few feet away on the tarmac. Grasping Abbeyâs wrist, you shoulder your way over to where he stands waiting.
âHeyâIâm so sorry, I somehow slept through my alarm this morning,â you blush and muss Abbeyâs hair, âthis little gremlin woke me up, actually,â
She shakes your hand off her head, âHey!â she frowns.        Â
âYouâre good, promise. I saved you a seat, and Abbey,â he redirects his attention, âClarissa B. asked to sit with you, is that okay?â
Sheâs too excited to bother responding, instead dashing inside in an attempt to find her friend. You hear a muffled warning of âno running!â, eliciting a shared laugh between the two of you.
âAfter you,â Steve steps back to let you in first. You spot the only available seat which is dead in the front of the busâ and when you sit down, Steve sits down next to you.
âWell, uh,â he scratches his neck nervously when you scoot to make room for him, âI saved us a seat. Is what I meant.â
âItâs okay,â you give a reassuring breath of laughter, âI donât mind,â
âRight,â he clears his throat and you feel the bus shift gears to make its way towards the
orchard.
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
Youâve never been this close to Steve before and right away the space is enveloped with whatever cologne heâs wearing and the spearmint scent of the gum heâs been absentmindedly chewing. He smells of cedar and something musky; cinnamon and spice. You notice now all of the freckles and moles that form constellations over his forearms and neck.
When the silence between you becomes a little too stiffâ pleasantries about the weather having subsided nearly ten minutes agoâ he asks, âHave you ever been to Spiller Farm?â
âYeah Iâ I have,â you say, unsure why youâre suddenly nervous, âMy parents used to take me every year when I was Abbeyâs age to go apple picking. Have you?â
âOh, no,â heâs fixated on his hands folded in his lap, shaking his head, âthisâll be my first time, I actually grew up in Indiana,â
âIndianapolis?â You question curiously.
He gave a humorless laugh, âI wish. It was a uhâŠmuch smaller town,â he finally looks at you then, faces much closer than you realized in the cramped bus seat, âI came to Maine for college, liked it so much I guess I didnât want to leave.â This time when he smiles, it looks genuine.
He clears his throat and continues, âAbbey tells me you work in a hospitalâ RN?
It was remarkable how much you knew about each other despite having very little conversations that didnât surround Abbey; thanks to your oversharing kindergartener.
You wish that you could tell him you were a nurse, feeling increasingly embarrassed at your lack of a college education, but instead you reply, âReception,â with a tight lipped smile. Having Abbey so young, and doing it alone at that, left no time for degrees or prestigious jobs.
You expect a sympathetic expression in response, maybe even distaste, but you find only sincerity etched across his features when he says, âThatâs really neat, I could never do that. Hospitals theyâŠkinda give me the heebie jeebies,â
âItâs definitely not for the faint of heart,â you agree, âI have so many crazy stories,â
âWell, Iâd love to hear them sometime,â he smiles at you so tenderly that it makes you want to disintegrate and float away among the air that breezes through the open bus windows.
âYeah, Iâd like thatâ, you say, distracted by the hazel flecks in what you had previously thought were brown eyes. Luckily, the distinct jolt of tire on gravel bails you out of more awkward silence and before you know it, youâre filing off the bus and breathing in the scent of freshly picked apples and cow manure.
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
You foolishly forget that Steve isnât just here with you and your daughter on his own accord, and does actually have to do his job of wrangling children and organizing the day's activities. He proceeds to do a headcount, looking like he means business with one hand propped on his hip and a clipboard gripped in the other.
He captures everyoneâs attention with ease as he does a quick call and response gesture, âClap, Clap, Clap Clap Clap,â youâre shocked at how efficiently it works to halt their chattering.
âGood morning, everyone!â He beams and the class responds with a choir of high-pitched âGood Morning, Mr. H!ââs, he continues, âAlright, so, Iâm going to be splitting everyone into small groups. Each parent will have about five kiddos, and Iâll just be floating around to make sure everything goes smoothly. Sound like a plan?â
Everyone agrees in a sea of nods and murmurs and the kids bounce with anticipationâ hoping that they might get placed in the same group as their friends. Finally, you hear your name called and Steve pairs you with five children: your own daughter, her friend Clarissa B., a little boy named Beck, his younger sister and a timid little girl named Sophia. You breathe a sigh of relief that you hadnât realized you were holding when it becomes obvious that all the kids you were assigned seemed to be fairly reserved and not too rowdy.
You lead your little flock over to the barn, where several farm hands are waiting to assist the children in petting the cows, pigs and other various animals. There are red buckets full of pellets that you assume is feed for the goats scattered along the ground, and you can practically feel Abbey buzzing with excitement beside you. She had been begging you for a pet practically the second after she said her first word.
Steve makes his way over to you from the rows of apple trees in the orchard section of the farm while you supervise the kids holding their tiny palms out to the ravenous livestockâ slightly anxious that one of them might lose a finger.
You feel a strong hand on your shoulder, âCâmon, donât wanna pet a dirt-covered sheep?â Steve quips when he reaches you.
âNot particularly,â you huff a laugh, âI was never really a âfarm animalâ person. I think a dog would suit me just fine,â
âDo you have one?â
âOh, no. Abbeyâs been asking me for one since she was, like, two? I think? I just donât have the time, you know?â
âBelieve me, I get it.â He seems pensive when he responds, looking out over the expanse of the farm, âI never had a pet growing up, either,â
Before you have the chance to express your remorse, Abbey calls, âMommy, look! Come pet the goat!â
âBe right there!â You call back with thinly veiled reluctance.
âYou heard the girl,â Steve pats your shoulder where his hand had been as if to say âGo onâ. He has an amused if not smug expression when you turn to face him.
âWhy donât you go pet the goat, Mr. H,â
âHey, she asked for you! Donât shoot the messenger,â He laughs, âDonât worry, I'll take over supervising for a minute,â he sends you a wink and it makes your stomach drop, just a bit, like when you miss a step on a staircase but catch yourself just before you fall.
A similar feeling strikes you when you actually do fall, slipping on a particularly slick patch of mud and landing flat on your back. It temporarily knocks the wind out of you, but the sensation is quickly replaced by a white hot embarrassment. Steveâs at your side in an instant, albeit poorly concealing a laugh, âOh my God, are you okay?â he asks, a little bewildered as he kneels down to help you up and getting his own jeans muddy in the process. Thankfully, he doesnât seem to mind.
You groan, out of discomfort or humiliation, youâre not sure. He wraps two calloused hands around your biceps and hoists you up with a surprising amount of strength. By the time youâre on your feet again, Abbeyâs also rushing towards you.
âMommy, you have mud on your butt,â she giggles. Always Captain Obvious, your daughter.
âThanks baby, I see that,â
Sheâs trying to shrug off her jacket to tie around your waist, even if she finds your current predicament rather amusing, but you stop her before she can get very far, âKeep it, Ab, itâs chilly out. Iâm okay,â you falsely promise.
âHere, you can have mine,â Steve takes his windbreaker off to hand to you.
âOhâ you donât have to do that, Steve,â feeling guilty that heâs even offering, âIâll get mud all over itâ and wonât you be cold?â
âNah,â he shrugs nonchalantly, âI run warm, plus I hear they just came out with these cool things that clean your clothes for you when they get dirtyâ washing machines I think theyâre called?â
You playfully smack his arm and he smirks, âDonât get smart, Harrington,â taking the jacket from him nonetheless, âThank you. Iâll wash it for you tonight,â
He shoves his hands in his pockets after you take the garment, unsure what to do with them now that theyâre empty, âDonât mention it,â and there's that damned smile again.
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
You promised Abbey yesterday that you could pick a bag of apples to make a pie together, so once everyone is satisfied with the time spent at the barn, you all make your way to the dozens of rows of trees, adorned with fresh, bright red fruit for plucking.
âWhat kind of apples do you think, Ab?â you look down to ask her, âThey have Gala, Empire, Granny Smith,â you read off the signs marking each aisle.
âWhichever is the most juicy!â
âThat would probably be HoneyCrisp, those are over this way, I think,â you say, putting a hand on her shoulder to guide her in the right direction.
Abbey does more eating than picking, leaving you with all the heavy lifting, despite the numerous âNo Eatingâ signs. You just canât bring yourself to stop herâ not when she looks at you with so much unbridled joy. Eating the apples straight off the tree had always been your favorite part, too.
A row over from the one you were in, you watch as Steve lifts another student onto his shoulders so he can pick the specific apple he was jumping for, and you have to fight the corners of your lips from quirking up into a smile.
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
There was a small wooden cabin near the gravel parking lot that doubled as a gift shop, and the shelves were stocked full of handmade knick knacks, glass bottles of maple syrup, and all sorts of treats. It smelled wonderfully of freshly baked fritters and cinnamon.
âCan I get this candy apple, mom?â
âI donât know, baby, we have to make sure it doesnât have any peanuts,â
Petulant whining follows before a cheerful, silvery voice declares, âDonât worry, dear, It doesnât.â When you turn to find the source, youâre met with an older, stout woman with grey hair adorned in a bandanaâ the owner, you presume.
âCan I, mommy?â
âAlright, okay. Put it on the counter with the bag of apples,â
She makes a beeline to the wooden counter, barely able to reach over the top as she slams the treat down, sporting a toothy grin.
âThank youââ you search for her nametag but find nothing.
She fills in the blank for you, âDorothy,â her lips wobble just a little when she smiles, face wrinkling from decades of laughter and grinning.
âAny time, honey. You two take care now,â she says when she finishes checking out your items. She wags a finger at Abbey, âYou be good for your momma, missy,â
âYes maâam,â Abbey replies politely.
She skips in front of you contentedly, apple in hand, out of the shop and towards the rest of the waiting students.
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
Back on the bus, Abbey naps against your chest despite being slightly too big and the candy apple she begged you for is now getting stuck to your sleeve, but you donât dare disturb her. Steve sits beside you again and this time the silence is much more tolerable; both of you exhausted from a day of governing twenty children, give or take.
âAbbey, uhm, told me about her dad,â he says timidly, nervous that the subject might cross a boundary, âI wanted to offer my condolences.â
Youâd already resigned yourself to the fact that youâd have this conversation eventuallyâ especially with Abbey being school aged now.
âI appreciate that,â you reassure, âIt was a long time ago, I donât think Abbey even remembers anything about him.â You realize in real time that this is the reason her questioning of her father has increased in the past few weeks.
He nods and pauses before he continues; contemplating, âCan I ask what happened?â
You turn only your head to look at him and he clarifies, âAbbey only said he âwent to heavenâ,â
âHe, uhâ car accident.â you answer simply, returning your gaze back to the crown of Abbeyâs head resting peacefully on your chest, âShe was just about a year old,â
The expression twisting his features urges you to reiterate that youâre okayâ youâre both okay. Youâve had nearly six years to reconcile the loss of Jeremy; youâve mourned, youâve grieved and youâve placed his memory tight in a sector of your heart that was designated just for him. But you didnât want the pity anymoreâ you didnât want to be the widow.
He seems to comprehend this despite you having said very little, and decides to drop the topic for now.
âShe talks about you all the time, you know.â You nudge him gently with your shoulder and he becomes suddenly shyâ a slight blush tinting his cheeks.
âShe talks about you all the time,â he counters, âjust goes on and on about how her mom makes the best boxed mac and cheese, and always plays make believe with herâ even when she says sheâs tired.â
You feel the sting of unwanted tears welling behind your eyes, âWell, Iââ
â--You do the best you can, and you donât give yourself nearly enough credit,â he interrupts before you have the chance to discount yourself, âYouâre a great mom, Y/N.â
One of the aforementioned tears breaches the edge of your lash line and falls rapidly down our cheek, dropping onto the soft cushion of Abbeyâs hair. When the bus abruptly stops, you wipe your face quickly and smear the salty trail it left in its wake.
You harshly clear your throat, âThanks, Steve,â
âYou do that a lot,â
âI feel it a lot.â
â§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:* *:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§
Back at home, you set Abbey up in front of the television and peel your mud stained jeans off to throw them immediately in the wash, along with Steveâs jacket; not bothering with the hamper.
Once youâve taken a quick shower to rinse the remaining crusted dirt off your thighs, you make your way back into the dimly lit living room to find Abbey asleep, once again, with her knees tucked into her chest, and the technicolor screen illuminating her features in tones of muted blue.
You strain your back to pick her up, but itâll be worth it when sheâs no longer small enough to carry bridal style into her all pink bedroom, and set atop her princess sheets. Youâre thankful to have gotten her into her pajamas alreadyâ foreseeing this would happen.
Thereâs a dull longing in the center of your chest as you kiss her forehead and tuck the comforter up to her chin. Itâs that same tug you felt after Jeremy died, when you realized youâd be putting your daughter to bed alone from that point on. It festered and grew until one day it became so routine that you didnât remember what it felt like to have your partner there next to you, and then it dissipated completely.
Until tonight.
Except for this time the longing wasnât for Jeremy. It wasnât even for that âperfect manâ youâd sometimes conjure up in your mindâs eye just before you fell asleep at night.
It was for someone new.
divider credit to @/strangergraphics
tag list - @micheledawn1975 @cherryc1nnam0n @paleidiot @adaydreamaway30 @twinkling-moonlillie @royalestrellas @cali-888 @jamdoughnutmagician @kolsmikaelson @soulxiez @sadieshairbrush @the-witty-pen-name @ilovetaquitosmmmm @mrsnarnian
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fluff#stranger things series#joe keery#steve x reader#series#steve harrington angst#stranger things#steve harrington smut#steve harrington stranger things#steve harrington imagine#teacher!steve harrington#mom!reader#fluff#angst#stranger things angst#light angst#fluff fic#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fanart#steve harrington fandom#steve harrington fic recs#chalkboard hearts#stranger things fic#stranger things 5#stranger things bts#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fanart
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How I Made the Colors in Hunger's Bite So Good
first of all: buy my book. buy it and look at the colors. (if you cannot buy the book, ask for it at your local library or i GUESS you can look at these spreads i posted)
we're gonna talk about colors, but more specifically we're going to talk about overlays. if you're an artist you are probably familiar with overlays. we love our overlays. we love to color a picture and then at the very last minute go 'hm. looks bad. i'm going to put a yellowish overlay on it to make it look less bad :)'
do not do this.
i mean you can, and it'll work sometimes, but all you're really doing is tricking your brain into thinking different is better. you've been staring at the image for potentially several hours. none of the choices you made at the beginning mean anything to you anymore. you're just finishing what you started. one of the big reasons you might look at your art and go 'man, this doesn't look that good' is because You drew it and are intimately familiar with it. you know all the flaws and mistakes because You made them and You know what your vision was. one of the great frustrations with art is that the piece in your head doesn't look like something you actually made. you want it to look like somebody else did it, so you can enjoy it as a viewer, not as the creator.
so when you put that overlay on, and suddenly the image looks very different, your brain will go 'this doesn't look like the thing i've been staring at for 2-3 hours! this is different! now it's good!'
and again, sometimes it Is good. but do you actually understand why it's good? or is it just different?
okay so what am i supposed to do smart guy
i'm glad you asked. the trick to making overlays work is to have them on from the start. this requires knowing what mood you want to convey in your scene from the very beginning. hopefully you know what mood you want to convey. you do, right? and i don't just mean happy or sad, i also mean safe, threatened, familiar, strange, soft and harsh. blue is not always sad. green is not always healthy. yellow/orange are not the only way to convey a companionable warmth.
okay did you pick the mood? do you have an idea of what color you want to use to represent that mood? great. i'm gonna use blue to convey the cool, clean white of a ship's maintenance corridor without making things literally white. and i'm going to stick in two characters whose color palettes consist of bright yellow, brown, and wine red. awesome. i definitely know how those colors would behave under blue lighting.
(here's the thing: no i don't.) this is where a gradient map correction layer comes in. i want my page to be Blue. alright. let's make a gradient map that's Blue.
a gradient map is basically just A Gradient with specific colors connected to specific values. you have your darkest values on the left, and your lighter values on the right. at 100% opacity, this gradient map layer will read the value of anything below it and go 'okay this bit is this dark, so it should be This shade of blue. and this bit is this light, so it should be This shade of blue'.
kind of like a hue or color layer except determined by a gradient rather than one color, so it could also go 'this is light, so it's green' and 'this is dark, so it's purple'. it's math. i don't really get it either. but anyway this is probably not what you want if you want your characters' palettes to be recognizable. emery's sweater is supposed to be a wine red! neeta's skin should be brown, and her shirt should be yellow. these are their Key Colors. generally, i want them to be recognizable. so let's lower that opacity down.
nice! you can definitely now see that emery's sweater is red and neeta's shirt is yellow. and everything is relatively balanced. nothing is too saturated, nothing is significantly brighter than anything else. it's all got a little bit of blue in it. but i've skipped the step of actually picking your colors. because here's the thing with gradient maps.
they hate you and want to fight. when working with gradient maps you must imagine there is a monkey sitting on your shoulder dumping paint in every time you pick a color. the monkey has a tube of blue and he is going to put that blue into everything you paint, but it's not normal paint. it doesn't mix, it overtakes. it won't turn something yellow into green, it will turn it blue. it wants everything to be blue. if you want something to look like the color it's supposed to be, you will have to make it extremely saturated under the layer to essentially fight the paint monkey's blue. hence, emery's sweater is a BRIGHT red, so it will look a little more purpley under the blue. and neeta's skin is very orange, so it can be dulled down into a soft brown.
this is the sort of thing you will have to learn by feel, because it will be different with every gradient map, especially if you start getting into weird ones that aren't monochromatic. you want to know one of my favorite maps to use?
i have memorized where on the value scale all of these colors appear. i can color something using only shades of gray when i have this filter on. i am evolved. if you want to use gradient maps effectively, you'll have to get a lot of practice.
anyway this post got really long and i'm about to go to a movie so i'll talk about how to use screen/multiply/overlay layers later. but gradient maps are the main tool i used to make hunger's bite's palettes so unified across scenes. but you can see way above how they work to turn insane saturated colors into the nice harmonies--and the trick is that i'll never see those saturated colors while i'm working. because i have accepted the paint pouring monkey into my heart, and i trust him. except when i'm coloring wick's coat. holy mother of god every gradient map hated that man's purple coat.
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girl!dad aaron reading to his daughter over the phone while on a case! đ„č just like that one episode of jj and henry đđ„°
nightmares
i will sob. đ„ș i'm also setting this in ellie's bad dreams era :( cw; fem!reader, girl dad!aaron, slight angst, fluff <3
"It looks like this is his comfort zone." Using a red marker, Spencer circled an area on the map. "If we pinpoint-"
As he was continuing his thought, Aaron's phone rang. He fully expected to see Penelope's name, anticipating her call as she was working her magic to narrow down a pool of potential unsubs. However, his eyebrows furrowed in worry as he saw it was from you instead.
"Excuse me." He spoke lowly yet urgently, keeping his eyes on his screen and hurrying away with no hesitation, missing the team's concerned glances.
"Hey," he answered, closing the door to the empty conference room behind him. There was knowing feeling deep in his chest - and a grim one at that. "Everything alright?"
"Kinda... no." You switched up quickly with a sigh, slight distress in your voice. "I'm sorry, I know you're busy. But can you spare a minute or two?"
"Another nightmare?" Aaron's eyes shot to the clock perched on the wall. While it was somewhat early for him, it was getting late back home, timezones to thank. And doing the math quickly, bedtime for the kids had been about two hours ago. So sadly this - right on schedule.
You hummed in confirmation, beginning with the positive first. "She fell asleep in her bed tonight, actually. Went down easy, not much protest. But then woke up crying, and was nearly inconsolable for a while. She's with me now." Your eyes shifted down to your frightened daughter besides you, who was inching closer and closer to seemingly making herself smaller. "And keeps asking for you."
Aaron glanced out; the team was still preoccupied, discussing the geographical profile amongst themselves, and could definitely manage without him for a while longer. "Yeah, I have some time."
There was a quick rustle as you set your phone down, placing it on speaker. Your voice was farther now, not by much, but it felt treacherously distant, as if more miles had been added. "It's Daddy, honey."
"Hey Ellie Bellie." Aaron's tone quieted, his face softening as he spoke. "What's the matter?"
A light sniffle came from the other end. "I had a scary dream."
"A scary dream, huh?" He repeated, an achy pang producing in his chest. Ellie's nightmares have been occurring for a while now, and indubitably becoming a problem. You both expected the dreams to run their course, eventually pass, and things would return to normal. But as time moved forward, it was becoming clear it was well beyond that as they worsened. "It's okay, you're safe with Mom now, right?"
Ellie nodded, unknowingly to him. Her small voice cracked, laced with tears. "I want you."
"I know, and I'll be home when work lets me, I promise. You can even use my pillow tonight too, if you want." He bit down onto his lip as Ellie mumbled a small 'okay' in response. Hard. "Or how about a story? Would that help you feel better?"
Her head rose up and down again, prompting you to speak up as Aaron was met with only her silence.
"We have a few right here." You reached across her, grabbing the few storybooks that frequented Aaron's nightstand and settling back against your own pillow.
"Your pick sweetheart." Aaron pulled a chair from the table, sitting down and making himself comfortable momentarily.
"Goodnight Moon?"
Goodnight Moon, also one of Jack's favorites when he was younger. Between him and Ellie, Aaron's read it so many times, he had the entirety of the book memorized. In addition, Ellie's other, more lengthy favorites - he had gone through and cleverly taken a picture of each page, all stored safely in his camera roll for instances such as tonight. No matter where he happened to be, he could read the text, while also drawing attention to and discussing the images with her.
"Sure. Get all comfy and cozy up to Mom, yeah?"
Ellie nestled herself more into your side, her head resting on your arm as she death-gripped onto her plush bunny. You adjusted the duvet to adequately cover the two of you, scooting down and propping the book up for the two of you to see.
"We're ready when you are." You told Aaron, brushing a few stray strands of hair away from Ellie's face.
As your brief sentence concluded, a harsh pinch formed behind Aaron's eyes, the guilt creeping in as he pictured the two of you laid together, where he also should've been. His little girl was beside herself in fear, wanted him, and yet here he was. Far away on the other side of the country. He felt as if he were failing her; letting her down.
Aaron swallowed to even out his voice, to sound as cheery as he possibly could, and to refrain any agony from being heard. He took a deep, yet small guttural breath.
"In the great green room..."
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds drabble#aaron hotchner drabble#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#hotch imagine#criminal minds x fem!reader
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yes i'm talking about otw/ao3's finances again, sorry not sorry
the director of the nonprofit i work for in the u.s. just announced that we have $1 million usd in our reserves at the start of 2025, and that that is a big amount for us to have. we have 35+ full-time employees and several contractors, all of whom are paid good salaries, and we have numerous other operating expenses, including but not limited to running a website, advertising, employee travel, conference registrations, and paying legal costs (we're an advocacy org and often get involved in litigation).
and all i could think about was how the last time i checked the finances of the organization for transformative works (@transformativeworks), which runs ao3, they had almost three times that amount - $2.8 million usd - in their reserves, and zero paid employees, contractors or otherwise. Z E R O.
but that's just normal nonprofit math, right?
and to be clear when i say reserves, i mean money that is not allocated for any specific purpose in the yearly budget. this is just the extra. my org invests that extra so that we can generate additional revenue from it; the last time i checked, otw had only put $10,000 thousand usd of it in an interest-bearing account, which meant they were only earning about $150/year in interest on it. no, i didn't miss any zeroes there. only $150 interest on TWO POINT EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS
anyway i am not going to go check the more recent numbers because any time i try to put any effort into this kind of research, like @manogirl and i did in 2023 and i updated in early 2024, we get so much shit that it hardly feels worth it. but anyone is welcome to follow the process outlined in our previous posts to find the latest numbers yourself. and if you do please tag me! i'm happy to share
but bottom line: remember this when the next otw/ao3 fundraising drive comes around! they don't need your money, and they don't even know how to manage it properly when they get it
(oh, and for anyone who's been following along, no, i still have not received a reply from the otw finance team in response to the one-line question i asked them about their reserves in may 2023. đ)
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[2:59 pm]
(cw: f!reader, alcohol mentioned but not consumed)
a/n: thoughts on the header??? I need validation or I die like tinkerbell
Could there have been a worse store to experience than a Costco on the weekend in the afternoon? Or really, any time of day. You weren't sure how you'd gotten roped into coming to Costco with your boyfriend, fratboy!Johnny. You'd been given a list to stick to and that would have been easy enough if you hadn't also brought Mark and Haechan along.
It was overwhelming enough to get through the doors, but you were sticking right to Johnny's side. There was no way you were losing hold on him with just how crowded it was.
"Alright, we're sticking to the list. Everybody stay close and nothing that's not on the list, got it you two?" Johnny states with a pointed look thrown in Mark and Haechan's direction.
"Fine," they groan in unison as you all make your way down the aisles.
Johnny thankfully keeps a tight hold on your hand, refusing to lose you to the Saturday Costco madness. It's a reassuring hold that helps you stay calm and keeps your anxiety at bay.
The cart starts to fill up soon enough, cleaning products, light bulbs, batteries- "yooooo! Bro, this big ass bottle of vodka is only 15 bucks!"
"We're not getting that Mark, put it back," you sigh, grabbing a few bunches of bananas to set in the cart.
"No, but if you do the math, it's only..." Haechan adds, resting his finger on his chin while he tries to do the math, "whatever, it's cheap!"
Johnny exits the refrigerated section with his arms full of different products. Do his arms always look this good at Costco? You may have to come with him more often.
He doesn't seem to notice your lingering gaze, "we have a list to stick to and alcohol isn't on the list. I say no and Bee says no, so but put it back."
Moving your way through the store, the cart fills up steadily. Finally, you make your way to the opposite side of the store where you can top up the cart with frozen goods and snacks. Johnny tosses a few boxes of ice cream bars, a few bags of frozen chicken, a few bags of coffee among other items that join the mass.
You sigh as you attempt to rearrange the nearly overflowing cart, "I think we should have gotten two carts."
"I'll go get one, Honeybee. Stay right here, alright?" Johnny offers with a soft smile, "Mark and Haechan can stay with you."
You pull a bag of mini chocolate bars out with your brows furrowed with confusion as you set the bag back on one of the shelves, "Mark and Haechan haven't been with us for almost 15 minutes now, lovie."
"They haven't?" Johnny asks with raised brows.
You laugh softly, "yeah, my love. They ran off right after you got the coffee."
"Mother-" Johnny growls, as he pulls out his phone and taps angrily. "Listen here, little shit, we're not here so you can play around. Both of you go get us another cart from outside and meet us in one of the aisles near the pharmacy."
You can barely make out Mark arguing through the speaker, before Johnny cuts him off, "but nothing Mark. You don't listen and now you need to make it up. You guys have four minutes to get back to us or I'm making both of you walk back."
"Be careful!" You call out, leaning up on your toes to be closer to the speaker.
Johnny sighs, tugging you into his arms. He rubs one hand down your back while the other pinches the bridge of his nose, "they stress me the hell out."
"Tell me about it," you laugh, placing a kiss on the left side of the worn t-shirt that covers his chest.
It's only an aisle later and three minutes later when there's a ruckus not too far away. When you look up, you feel like you should be surprised to two guys running toward you, but you don't. Your cheeks heat with embarrassment from everyone looking in your direction as Mark and Haechan come to a stop in front of you and Johnny.
"How long did we take?" Mark pants.
Johnny roughly grabs the cart and tugs it toward you with glare sent in their direction. Haechan smiles brightly, "yeah, what was our time?"
"I wasn't actually timing you idiots!" Johnny scoffs as he transfers some of the items into the empty cart.
"Dude! You suck," Mark groans, "yo, we still get pizza after this right?"
#kpop imagines#kpop au#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#nct#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct timestamps#nct x reader#nct drabbles#nct blurbs#fratboy!johnny#frat!johnny#frat!nct#johnny x reader#johnny imagines#johnny fluff#johnny scenarios#johnny timestamps#johnny drabbles
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My usual problem of "and then some other shit happens" is that they keep piling up on top of each other. This morning, I was just about to start work when
mail comes in. I've received a letter from the tax office.
I open the letter and get a Fuck No Way That's Right kinda bill.
time to hit up my accountant and ask what the fuck do I do now
realise that I haven't delivered my accounting stuff for like four months either, gotta apologise to her about that too
e-mail doesn't go through, double-check the address, re-type my whole apology and explanation again
four consecutive e-mails do not go through
fuck I gotta call them, where's my phone
just as I was about to make a phone call, I receive a phone call
forgot I had a phone appointment with my doctor, turns out I do not have a natural physical resistance to poison damage, and my medication resistance is something else.
confident in my ability to execute two unrelated tasks at once, I take a sip of my tea while on the phone. Naturally I fuck it up and pour the lukewarm tea on my lap instead.
figuring that since I'm unhurt and only poured enough to soak my clothes, not my chair, I'll just sit with the wet tea on my lap until the phonecall is over, and hang them to dry on the balcony later.
phonecall done, I remove my clothes and go hang them up to dry.
spot my little ficus tree cutting on the balcony, decide to water it since it's so hot and I don't want the thing to die.
coming back inside after leaving my clothes on the balcony, my boyfriend sees me undressed and wants affection.
he also wants to show me a video that he came upon.
make myself more tea
coming back to my computer, remember the phonecall I was supposed to make.
call the accounting people and tell them I can't e-mail the person I worked with, and get informed that the person I had been working with quit unexpectedly, and the one currently running the whole business on her own will look into my shit once she's personally out of the hospital. She meant to call me earlier about What The Fuck I'm Doing but unfortunately hospital.
promise her to deliver my accounting things today since it's the least I can do to not make her day any worse than it already is.
save through my paypal activities, log onto my online bank, check my account and do some math to confirm that I should more or less be alright until my next payday. Move some more money to my bank card account for groceries, and log out.
remember that the reason why I logged into my bank in the first place was the accounting, and log back in to get that data.
send my records to my new current accountant with apologies for not doing that for four months despite of being supposed to do it monthly.
finally done with that, satisfied of actually Getting Things Done, I suddenly realise I've spent the past three hours on random sidequests, haven't even touched whatever it was that I was planning to do today, and top of that I've completely forgotten what it was that I meant to do.
waste another half an hour writing a meticulous account of how I spent my morning doing everything else than what I meant to.
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The original image is stupid. That's a given. I guess they are trying to ask why the Moon doesn't have a bright spot and dark edges.
But the Community Note isn't much better.
The short answer is... the Moon is bumpy and the Sun is far away.
The long answer requires me to do some math. So I apologize in advance if I get some numbers wrong. But I promise you will learn some neat things about light if you are into that.
First, I have no idea why they brought retroreflectiveness into this.
Retroreflection is when light is reflected back at the angle of incidence. Meaning no matter what angle you shine light from, it will always reflect straight back to you.

It's a bit of an optical magic trick. It is how street signs and highway markers work.


Weirdly enough, astronauts placed a manmade retroreflector on the Moon which people can use to reflect lasers and disprove the fake Moon landing theory.
The Moon may have retroreflective properties, but that effect would only really be noticeable if you were to shine a tight beam of light like a laser or something. Retroreflection would be more apparent from the perspective of the Sun, not the Earth.
You know what, I should just read the source and see what they are talking about.
"The edges of the full moon seem as bright as the center, without limb darkening, because of the reflective properties of lunar soil, which retroreflects light more towards the Sun than in other directions."
Hey, I was right about the Sun.
But this is a bad explanation. A rare L for Wikipedia. I even checked the primary reference and it doesn't even talk about retroreflectance. It does seem to be a factor, especially for the very outer edges, but looking at other sources my initial answer of the Moon being bumpy and the Sun being far away is much better.
So... let's learn some shit about light.
First we should talk about surface texture as mentioned. You have glossy surfaces and matte surfaces and a spectrum in between.
A glossy surface reflects light very directly (specular). A matte surface scatters light in many directions (diffused). This has to do with how smooth or bumpy the surface is.
The Moon is very rocky and bumpy and dusty, so it has a very matte surface. And I'm guessing since some rays bounce back toward the Sun, we don't get as many direct reflections that would add specularity. Perhaps there is a Moon expert who can weigh in on how much that actually diffuses the light beyond the matte surface texture.
And the reason the Moon is so evenly lit has to do with the distance of the light source. Again, the Sun is super duper far away.
When light is very close to something, it falls off very quickly.

When light is far away, the falloff is very gradual.

From the camera's perspective, the edges of the sphere are farther away than the center. When the light is closer, the edges of the sphere appear darker. But when the light is farther away, the edges of the sphere appear to have a similar intensity compared to the center.
The surface of the Moon is not a consistent distance from us. It is a spheroid so the edges are nearly a thousand miles farther away than the center. But the edges don't fall off into shadow from our perspective.
This is a property of the inverse square law.
Let's say you wanted to light two people and the light was very closeâone person might end up in the light's falloff.


But if you move the light farther away and crank up the power, the two people will seem evenly lit.


You can think of light a bit like a shotgun in a video game. When you are close to something the shotgun has a very tight spread and is more lethal. When farther away, it has a larger spread but the lethality is decreased.

The first shotgun blast is very intense directly in the center but has no effect on the edges. The second blast has more even coverage, but the intensity is spread out and diminished.
From a point light source, light starts out very concentrated but the photons spread out over a distance. This dilutes the intensity of the light. The inverse square law says for every doubling of distance, the light becomes 1/4th as bright.
You have the same amount of photons but a larger area to light up. So coverage increases but intensity decreases.
Check out the background in these images.

In the first photo, the light is very close to her face. The intensity of the light is very concentrated. From the perspective of the camera, her face is super bright, but the background is very dim in comparison.
But as you move the light farther away, the photons spread out. If you leave the light on the same power and the camera at the same exposure, the photo on the right would look very dimâprobably just pure black. So you'd have to compensate by increasing the power of the light (more photons) or adjusting the exposure of the camera (higher sensitivity) or both. But once you make those adjustments the background and her face seem very evenly lit.
In the first photo, relative to the light source, the background is far away compared to her face. The light might be 5 feet from her face but 10 feet from the background. It has to travel double the distance to hit the background so the intensity of the light hitting the background is 75% darker than the light hitting her face.
The majority of photons are hitting the face and only a few are escaping to the background.
But if the light is 20 feet from her face and 25 feet from the background, the light only travels 25% farther to hit the background. So the background is only 36% darker than the light hitting her face.
To achieve the same exposure the number of photons is increased substantially, but they are spread out and not concentrated in one area.
If you increase the distance enough, the difference gets less and less perceptible.
Now imagine the light is 93 million miles away. The background would only be 0.0000000004% darker than her face.
From the Earth's perspective, the edge of the Moon is roughly 1000 miles farther away from the center of the Moon. And about 0.001075% farther from the Sun. The falloff of light would be impossible for our eyeballs to detect.
To review, the Moon has edge-to-edge lighting with no specular highlights because the surface is bumpy and scatters light and the Sun is ridiculously far away. I'm sure there are other optical effects at play due to the atmosphere and reflective properties mentioned, but by and large, that is what's going on.
It's the same reason the face of a large boulder in direct sunlight doesn't have any bright spots or quick shadow falloff.

Can you use this knowledge to help your photography?
Yes!
Lighting indoor group photos can be very tricky.
You often have several rows of people. If your light source is too close, you may have difficulty getting a good exposure on all of their faces because of the varied distances involved. The back row of people may appear very dark. But if the light is too far away, you may end up getting harsh shadows.
Large light sources produce softer, more flattering light.
Small light sources produce harder, harsher light.
Distant light sources produce even light.
Distant light sources have a smaller apparent size.
Which means you need really big modifiers so you can put the light far enough away to get soft AND even lighting. You have to make the light sources bigger to compensate for the distance.


If all you have is a flash, you can bounce it off the ceiling or a large white wall to increase the size of your light source. Just make sure it is far enough away from everyone to get a proper exposure of all their smiling faces.
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how to lose a guy in 10 days
slow burn, mutual pining, dual pov, fake dating, angst, comedy, miscommunication, fluff, enemies to lovers (kinda)
day zero one two three four
disclaimer: @whor3ing has an au also inspired by how to lose a guy in 10 days which you can check out here!
word count - 700ish



day one
Boston bars on a Thursday night had a specific flavour⊠half-sour beer, half-sweat, half-despair.
The kind of place where office workers unwound and undergrads overcompensated. She fit somewhere in the middle, technically employed, emotionally unmoored, trying not to think about the fact that she was doing this on purpose.
Her drink came sweating in its glass. She took one long sip and scanned the room, reminding herself: first guy who smiles.
She didnât have to wait long.
Two minutes later, in walked Matt Sturniolo, hat tucked in his back pocket, rings on his fingers like he was trying a little, but not too much.Â
He had spotted her immediately. Alone at the bar, one heel slightly hanging off her toe, like she hadnât decided whether she was staying or leaving. When she met his eyes and smiled, he thought, Shit. Thatâs her.Â
He walked over anyway.
âHey,â he said, leaning just close enough to be heard over the ambient buzz. âCan I buy you a drink?â
She raised her glass. âBit late for that. This oneâs already mine.â
Matt blinked, smile just a little crooked, like he didnât trust it to land right. âRight. So⊠maybe your next one?â
She tilted her head. âYou always open with math talk?â
He laughed, nervous but genuine. âOnly when Iâm nervous.â
That made her pause. She expected smooth, maybe cocky. Not this. âYouâre nervous?â
âA little. You looked like someone whoâd see through bullshit.â
He gave her a look as he did this, scanning her posture, the way her skirt hiked a little too high from how she sat, unintentionally flirty, hair slightly wavy, haloed by the barâs neon light.Â
She smiled again, slower this time. âFair.â
They talked. Not for five minutes. Not for fifteen. For nearly two hours.
He asked her favourite movie. She said The Truman Show and then wouldnât explain why.
She asked about his worst habit. He said, âSaying Iâll call and then forgetting my phone exists.â
She gave him a look. âThatâs comforting.â
âYou havenât given me your number yet,â he said. âSo technically, Iâm still innocent.â
She snorted. âCharming.â
Someoneâs laughter cracked in the background, but all he heard was the ice clinking in her drink as she laughed at him.
âFlattered. Youâre terrifying, by the way.â
She tried to hide her smile behind her glass.
âDo you always go to bars alone and talk to strangers?â he asked her then.
âOnly on nights when Iâm feeling creative on my mission to try and ruin my life.â
He laughed, the sound coming all the way from his stomach. When he finally caught his breath, he told her, âthen I guess Iâm your lucky mistake.â
âYou wish.â
He raised his eyebrow at her and she looked away, already reminding herself the point of all this flirting. But fuck, it didnât hurt that he was hot.Â
When the bartender called last call, she didnât check the time. Neither did he.
She pulled on her jacket. Matt cleared his throat, watching her down her drink as he subtly pulled out his phone.
âCan I get your number?â
She raised an eyebrow, playful but cautious. âAlready?â
âWell, I donât know if Iâll be able to find you in this bar again next Thursday.â
She tilted her head. âYou planning on being here again next Thursday?â
He grinned. âOnly if you are.â
She looked at him for a long moment, like she was weighing something. Then handed him her phone.
âText me something weird,â she said, a small smile on her face. âSo I know itâs you.â
As they left the bar, Matt held the door open for her, and she slipped past him, brushing her hand gently over his forearm as thanks.
I'm gonna make you wish you were dead, she thought to herself as she looked into his eyes.
As Matt met her stare, there was only one thought on his mind:
You're already falling in love.
Later that night, as he was brushing his teeth he remembered the girl from the bar. He pulled his phone out, letting the toothbrush dangle from his mouth as he found her contact.
Back in her apartment, she tossed her phone onto the bed, feeling the kind of buzz that had nothing to do with alcohol.
And across the city, Matt lay in bed staring at the ceiling, already wondering what the hell kind of trouble heâd invited into his life. Because this girl?
He ran his hand through his hair sighing, realising he had no idea what heâd just gotten himself into.
But for fifteen grand? He was all in.
One down. Nine to go.
dividers by @bernardsbendystraws êš
a/n: i hope you guys like this <3
#inez âŽïžËïœĄââż#inez writes âŽïžËïœĄââż#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fanfic#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#matt sturniolo angst#matthew sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo angst#matthew sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo x you#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fandom#sturniolo triplets imagines#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo triplets fluff#sturniolo triplets fanfic
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Hello! Can I request a Pi Hanwool x reader FF where in the reader is a shy and kind girl and she's the gf of Pi Hanwool, but few knows their relationship. So when she joined the Study Group, she and Ga Min are getting closer like friends (but Ga Min has a crush on her). Then one day, Pi Hanwool see them together and he can't help but be jealous and possessive to the point that everyone now knows their relationship. It's a fluff btw đ«¶đ«¶đ«¶ THANK YOU SO MUCH, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME REQUESTING SO SORRY FOR THE DEMAND đ„°
Pi Hanwool x F! Reader / When he gets possessive
A/N: Hiii, thank you so much for the request. I love being the first one to do your request. I love how you already know what you want me to write! Makes it fun and easier. I hope it's enough fluff and that you enjoy<3. I love this for the first study group fic I'll be writing!
Warning(s): None!

"Seriously?" He chuckled as if it was amusing but sounded displeased at the same time. "You joined a study group?".
That's how the conversation had went when he first found out you've joined Yoon Gamin's study group. He didn't really take it seriously. Cause how would a study group last in a school like this?
That's what he thought at first. Though now he takes it a bit more seriously than before. All because of Yoon Gamin.
____________________________________________
Hanwool walked through the halls with his sidekick also known as Minhwan. No one dared to cross his way.
Hanwool had a straight face on as usual. Meanwhile, Minhwan was playing around with his gun.
"She really joined a study group?" He laughed amused like it's the weirdest thing he heard in a while. "Yeah, and it's with that Gamin nerd." He scoffed.
"Aren't you gonna do something?" Minhwan fidgets with his gun. "Nah..." he brushed it off "it's gonna fall apart soon anyway, you really think a study group could last in a place like this?".
____________________________________________
A few days later there you were in the library after hours with the newfound study group. You were sitting on the side facing the door next to Gamin. Meanwhile, Sehyun was sitting on the other side.
The others, Joon, Heewon, and Jiwoo had already left as you were just finishing up some homework.
Earlier that day you had gotten a load of math works which you didn't quite get. After all math isn't your best subject, you'd say English is your strongest subject instead.
So Gamin offered to help as soon as you got it handed out. Which you ofcourse accepted because you didn't wanna get behind the others and keep up with the workload.
He adjusted his glasses as he started to explain another question. Sehyun, on the other hand, was already done and got up to leave. "See you tomorrow, don't stay too long okay?". You nod with a sweet sounding hum as you wave Sehyun bye.
After Gamin's best friend left he scooted a little closer with a small blush you didn't even notice. "Ah right, so for this question you need to use this formula and then do this..."
He went on like that. Anything that had to with studying got him excited, and he tried to explain it even better than normal because it's you he's teaching.
About an hour passes, and you finally finish up and walk out together. It's just right around dinner time, so you've finished at a perfect timing.
Recently, you have grown closer to Gamin and the others that you'd call them your best group of friends. However, you'd say you've been around Gamin the most recently.
You both head out together with only a few inches between you. However, you didn't mind as you two are close friends in your mind. However, he'd hope it was more besides that, though he wouldn't tell you.
"How about we get some Ramyeon at the convenience store we usually go to? I'm starving". Gamin offered as he looked your way with a cute smile.
You chuckled as you remembered something. "Yeah sure I'm so hungry, remember last time that Joon was so hungry he tried eating Ramyeon when hot and burned his mouth?." I remind him and laugh.
Moments later, you get there. You had promised Hanwool you'd come to Yeonbaek after you've had dinner, so it's even more convenient for you since it's almost right around the corner.
Gamin and you took a seat opposing each other with hot ramyeon as you chatted. However, you didn't know that about ten minutes later, your boyfriend had walked into the store to get some snacks for when you were supposed to hang out.
Hanwool himself didn't immediately notice as he was busy roaming the aisles, deciding on what to get the two of you. As usual, he just takes what he sees fit. He doesn't have to worry about his spending habits as his father is the boss of YB anyway.
The moment he noticed is when he saw the reflection of a familiar girl's back in the window glass with a nerdy boy on the opposite side.
You were too deep in the conversation and food to notice Hanwool's staring. He might look stoic and expressionless as usual, but if you could sense what he's feeling inside, it would be far from it.
He can't believe it, he thinks it's humorous the guy thinks he has a chance but also feels jealous of the biggest nerd in school chatting with you. Even having dinner together. He can't just leave it like that can he?
He put the snacks aside for a moment and strode over with hands in his pockets and hugged you from behind. Which suprised both you and Gamin but both for different reasons.
You hadn't expected Hanwool to be here at this time as he's usually still having dinner with his father around this time, or he'd be hanging out on the sofa with Minhwan as usual as he's often around.
However, Gamin had all types of thought going through his head. Why is this guy hugging you from behind? Who is this guy? Why does it have to be now? It didn't hit him yet, he didn't realize that it was THE Pi Hanwool yet as he hasn't seen him face to face before.
Hanwool broke the silence. "I see you're having dinner with this study group guy?" He pulled back, and you looked at him, happy to see him. "Yeah, I thought it'd be convenient as it's so nearby, then it wouldn't take to get to you, he helped me with math too" you said simply with a hint of innocence as you didn't realize the way it seemed.
Both you and Gamin had finished up a minute ago and were gonna leave in a moment anyway. So you both stood up, Gamin with a tad of awkwardness. "Let's go, shall we? I'll see tomorrow, Gamin. " You told him goodbye, head out with Hanwool holding his hand and forget the snacks.
When you got back to the YB building where he resides he immediately resorts to uncharacteristically clingy before and cuddling you all the time. Though if you'd point it out he'd play it off as just being comfy.
-------------------------------------------------------
The following day at Yuseong Technical High, everyone started to notice how close he was to a certain someone being you. Even Minhwan hadn't expected to see him be this sweet and close to you in public.
It's only that day when Gamin realized it was Hanwool he saw with you the day before.
In the break, Hanwool even told you to sit with him and his guys instead of with the study group. He promised he'd get you some strawberry milk and your favorite snack, too, after all. He didn't want you to be with Gamin much. After all, you're his at the end of the day. And he's not planning on letting you go.
Now the whole school knows just how much of a softie he is for you. Though no one dares to tell him that. He's still the no.1 on the ranking after all.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A/N:
I hope you all liked it, I hope it's not to short. It's fun to me how he's the most requested person in my inbox, so you can expect more!
Also, it's not proof read by me so let me know if anything seems off!
#kdrama fanfic#study group#study group x reader#yoon gamin x reader#Pi hanwool x reader#kdrama imagines#Pi Hanwool
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hiiii
I really love your jake and y/n drabbles and hope that youâll always keep writing about them since theyâre so cuteeeeeee
But I was wondering if maybe we could get a Drabble about jungwon and y/n since theyâre still besties and I really loved their dynamic!
I know that you focus on the couple but I thought it would be really cool to read about the besties again and I donât have something specific in mind so Iâd give you freedom to write about anything
I really hope you can do it but If you donât want to itâs also okay and you can just ignore it :))
IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THIS ONE đ but yes omg i was actually thinking of doing one abt these two to begin with so you literally read my mind anon <33 hope you like itttttt. i included a little easter egg/throwback to the pretty privilege drabble i wrote too heheh & thank u for ur kind wordsđ„șâ€ïž
ââââ GROWING UP WITH CHILDHOOD BFF!JUNGWON đ€žââïžđ âł requested // part of the no doubt series !
Jungwon's room is the same as always.
The dim lamp glowing. The soft click-clack of his keyboard. The faint, slightly concerning scent of instant ramen still lingering in the airâdespite the fact that you finished eating it two hours ago.
He said he'd throw the cups away.
Eventually.
You're starfished across his bed, head dangling slightly off the edge, aimlessly scrolling through your phone.
Jungwon's at his desk, headset on, fingers moving fast across his keyboard as he mumbles something under his breathâprobably trash-talking Heeseung on League. Even though Heeseung is quite literally behind the adjacent wall right now.
"Hey," you say suddenly, voice cutting through the comfortable silence.
"Mhm?" Jungwon doesn't look away from the screen.
"Do you ever think about how we were basically forced to be friends?"
That makes him pauseâjust enough for his character to die.
He slams the spacebar. Takes his headset off. Swivels around in his chair to face you.
"Bro."
You grin at him upside-down, "Oops."
"Why are you here," he groans, "and not bothering Jake instead of me?"
You gasp dramatically, "Rude. I'm here because I wanted to hang out with my best friend."
"Uh huh," Jungwon's eyes narrow at you, unconvinced. "Jake's busy isn't he?"
"He's at some fancy ambassador photo shoot and they told him no guests allowed," you sigh, grumbling in your spot.
Jungwon snorts, stands up, and kicks your leg aside to make room for himself on the bed. He flops down next to you with a sigh, both of you staring up at the ceiling.
"And to answer your questionâprobably not," he says. "We would not be friends. You were a bully in kindergarten."
You mouth falls open and you whip your head to look at him. "Heyâwhat? No I wasn't!"
He side-eyes you, "You literally used to chase me around the playground threatening to hit me with that weird Hello Kitty recorder. Remember that?"
You blink. Then laugh.
"Okayâthat's only because you stole my favorite multi-colored pen I bought from the book fair! The one with the sparkle grip and glitter ink!"
"You also tried to feed me dirt. You told me it was a crumbled up cookie you baked."
"Yeahâthat one was kinda evil, but to be faiâ"
"âyou also made me eat a leaf."
"And did you die? No. You're welcome for your advanced immune system."
Jungwon laughs, crossing his arms, "If we weren't forced to be friends and have playdates practically everyday, I probably would've acted like I didn't know you in high school."
Your eyes widen as you gasp again, grabbing the pillow next to you, "Take that back right now."
He laughs, quickly blocking his face, moving to hug the pillow between his arms instead.
"Who else would've let you cheat off their math homework every week?"
"True, you did save me multiple times in the fifth grade," Jungwon shrugs, eyes glinting with nostalgia. "Who else would've made a fake email account with me just so we could prank Miss Lee about canceling the science fair?"
"Who else would've climbed onto the garage roof with me at 2AM to see if we could spot aliens?"
"Who else would've gone shot for shot with me in tequila and get trashed?"
"Jungwon, that was literally last weekend. And I woke up with the worst hangover the next morning because of you."
"My point still stands."
You both pause for a moment.
Then laughter fills the air.
"We're so dumb."
"So dumb."
no doubt m. list
tag list! pt. 1 (open)
@bluxjun @ki2rins @why-did-i-just-do-this @favoritten @lovialymisc @xylatox @vivimura @leehsngs @puma-riki @lezzleeferguson-120 @enhaprettystars @laurradoesloveu @sievenderz @somuchdard @kristynaah @hinryh @ltfirecracker @lov4hoon @taeheexx @niyzu @chunkzdeluluwife @jakeflvrz @fangirl125reader @0429jw @dreamy-carat @yuons @thestarinstarbucks @miszes @llearlert @ppeachyttae @hoomin10 @teddybeartaetae @tanisha2060 @therealmrsbahng @beomgyu-bears @ikeulove @jiyeons-closet @youngheejay @wxnderingthoughts @fuevrois @soobundle1009 @isoobie @enhypenova @zoemeltigloos @lizdevorak @deluluscenarios @bloomiize @hasuyv @ijustwannareadstuff20 @veilstqr @dreamiestay @jakeyyyjakexoxo
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#enhypen crack#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fics#enhypen scenarios#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha scenarios#engene#ââââ âá°.áââ
Ëâ no doubt â the series!#yang jungwon#enhypen jungwon#jungwon fluff
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dealer!chris x dealer!reader
đž content warning: smut/angst (in later chapters; this one's mostly just suggestive), mentions of hard drugs and guns, enemies to lovers, slow burn
đž summary: you and chris spend the night hanging out on his roof after your first day of making sales together.
there will be several parts to this story, and they will contain sex, drugs, violence, use of weapons, and a lot of things that could be triggering if you've ever been apart of the drug world or loved someone with an addiction. i don't mean to glorify drug use, selling, or anything like that, but i wanted this story to be realistic, so it does appear like a somewhat "glamorous" lifestyle to chris and the reader in the first few parts. i want to make it very clear that when you get involved in the drug world in real life, you usually end up in one of two places: the ground or prison.
dividers by @/kimjiho1
WHEN SPARKS FLY
chapters: | intro | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
The sun sank slowly below the skyline, and the evening turned to nightfall as you and Chris finished up your last deal of the day. You'd been showing him all the stops, introducing him to your customers, and teaching him the way you did everything.
He got into your passenger seat and sighed as his head fell against the headrest, really wishing he had a joint right about now. "Damn, ma. I can't believe how much money we made today," Chris mumbled, slouching down into his seat. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the wad of cash he'd made for the day.
"I know, and we're only a third of the way through the product," you smiled back, doing the math in your head about the potential profit. "I could never work a 9 to 5," Chris sighed, sifting through the $100 bills. "Can't believe I just made in a day what it would take some sucker to make in two weeks at some office job."
You fastened your seatbelt and turned the key in the ignition, admiring Chris, who brought his fingers to his lips and slowly licked them as he separated the crisp hundreds. "What are you thinking about, ma? My tongue or my fingers?" Chris flirted, catching you staring out of the corner of his eye and giving you a seductive smirk as he ran his tongue along the pads of his fingers again, flitting through his money.
You squeezed your thighs together as you bit down on your lip. For a moment, you were thinking about both at the same time. You hated the effect he had on you, the way he knew how to get inside your head, intrude on your thoughts, and invade your sexual fantasies. "You're fucking gross, Chris," you replied, rolling your eyes and trying to hide how turned on you were.
He responded with a chuckle, knowing that he was getting to you even if you wanted to deny it. "So, am I dropping you off at your girlfriend's house?" You asked, reminding him that he had one. "Nah, can you drop me off at my place? I'm staying home tonight," Chris requested. "I can do that. Just tell me where to go," you replied, your eyes darting around between the road in front of you, your side mirrors, and your rearview.
"So, have you told Daisy yet?" You asked, your gaze flickering over at Chris, who was shaking his head. "I'll tell her, ma, when I'm ready," Chris grumbled. He knew you were right. He knew he had some things to work out, like telling his girlfriend the real way he made his money or dealing with the fact that he was finding himself sexually attracted to his new business partner. He stole another glance at you from your passenger seat as the fantasy he'd had the night before flashed through his mind, praying you wouldn't notice the tent forming in his jeans.
When you pulled into Chris' driveway, he thanked you again for the ride. "I can't believe I've been sober for eight hours," Chris mentioned, bouncing his leg as you parked. "No wonder you've been so uptight today," you teased him. "Maybe you should come smoke with me since you're always uptight," Chris smirked, nudging you in the arm with his elbow, but his offer was genuine.
You gave him an annoyed look, but you couldn't hold back the smile that spread across your lips. "I don't smoke weed, Chris. I haven't since I was a teenager," you replied, fidgeting with the material of your black steering wheel cover. "Why not?" Chris wondered, surprised by your admission. "I like being clear-headed. I don't like feeling out of control," you shrugged.
"We're on a floating rock in space, ma. The idea that you have control over anything is an illusion," Chris laughed, reaching for his door handle. "C'mon. Come inside. Do you drink? I've got a beer with your name on it if you wanna hang out with me for a little."
You were quiet for a second. It wasn't often that people invited you to hang out or just do something fun with them, and for a moment, you thought maybe you could use it. "I could stay for one beer," you responded hesitantly, nervously rubbing the back of your neck. "That's what I'm talking about, ma. Let your hair down once in a while," Chris replied, beaming with a smile.
You trailed behind him, staring down at your shoes as you followed the pattern of the stepping stones that led to his front door. "Oh, shit. I forgot my house key at Daisy's place," he sighed, running his finger through his hair. You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. "Do you need me to take you to Daisy's place after all?" You huffed, slightly annoyed at the situation.
"Nah, it wouldn't do any good anyways. She's at work. Plus, this won't take long," Chris said, pulling a pin out of his pocket and fiddling with the lock. You nervously looked around, worried someone was going to see him picking his lock and call the cops or something, but in a matter of seconds, you heard a click, and you watched as he turned the knob. His door creaked open, and he glanced back at you with a mischevious smile.
"Okay, now you're just showing off," you replied, raising an eyebrow. "What can I say, ma? I'm good with my hands. Gotta show you my skillset somehow," Chris playfully winked at you. You scoffed, biting back a smile. A part of you liked the way he couldn't keep himself from making sexual innuendos and flirting with you.
"If you need me to pick a lock on a deal, though, you're splitting the money 50/50 with me," Chris told you, stepping into his living room. "What kind of shady shit do you think I'm up to, Chris? I'm just selling coke. Not robbing people," you joked, following him in. "You never know," Chris peeked back at you over his shoulder with a smirk on his face.
"This is it," he announced, raising his arms to present his place to you. It was a dimly-lit, relatively small place, but it had a safe, cozy vibe to it. "I like it," you told him, your eyes scanning them room. You noticed his sprouting marijuana plants in the corner sitting beneath his grow lights and an old shelf beside it that was littered with comic books and novels you'd never heard of.
His house faintly smelled of weed and sandalwood, like how Chris always smelled, and you found the familiar scent comforting as it wafted through the air. He directed you over towards his couch and motioned for you to sit. You sat down, awkwardly perching at the edge of the couch cushion.
"C'mon, ma. You can relax. Kick your feet up," he told you, heading over towards his fridge to give you that beer he promised you. You exhaled and slowly leaned back into his sofa that was much softer than you imagined it would be. Chris twisted the cap off the bottle and handed it to you. The red and white label that read Stella Artois stared back at you, and you hesitantly reached out and took it.
Chris plopped down on the couch beside you, and you watched as he sprinkled a bit of ground weed into his rolling paper. You peered down at his rings and his fingers at the way they skillfully handled the joint, tucking the paper in and folding it in on itself.
His gaze flickered up at you as his tongue darted out, and he licked a long, slow stripe across the edge of the joint. His lips curled into a suggestive smile as he noticed you watching him, but you acted unamused, pulling your eyes away from his. You held the bottle up to your lips, taking a small, refreshing sip, the bubbles fizzing against your tongue as you relaxed further into the comfy couch.
You peered down the hall to an open door at the end. The room was dark, but you imagined it was probably Chris' bedroom. You found yourself wondering what it looked like, how comfortable his bed was, and how hard it would be for you to keep your hands off of him if you ever found yourself alone with him in there.
"You coming?" Chris asked, pulling you out of your thoughts and standing to his feet as soon as you'd gotten comfortable. "Coming where?" You wondered, giving him a perplexed look. "To the roof. The view's great up there," Chris responded, making his way towards the back door.
You hesitantly followed him back out into the cool air of the backyard where he had a ladder propped up against the side of his house. "C'mon, ma. I'll hold your beer. You start climbing the ladder," Chris told you, extending his arm to take your bottle from you. "Yep. Just smoking and drinking on a roof. What could possibly go wrong?" You muttered under your breath as you wrapped your fingers around the cold, metal rungs.
"Don't worry, ma. I'll be right behind you, so if you fall, I'll catch you," Chris' breath tickled your neck as he pressed his warm body into yours. Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. It was the closest you'd ever been to him. You were just glad you were faced away from him, so he couldn't see the unmistakable look of desire written in your expression as heat radiated off his skin.
You cleared your throat and regained your composure. "Is that your gun, or are you just happy to see me?" You snarked at him, peering over your shoulder in an attempt to take control of the situation again. Chris chuckled, but he didn't answer you, leaving it up for interpretation. You started to hesitantly climb the ladder, and Chris followed closely behind, keeping his promise to not let you fall as he held your beer in one hand and the unlit joint between his lips.
The two of you made it to the roof, and Chris handed you your beer once the two of you got settled. The star-filled sky hung overhead as you looked out at the horizon. You saw the tops of the other houses, the city lights scattered across the skyline, and the waves crashing on the beach shore off in the far distance. You brought your bottle of Stella Artois up to your lips and took another sip as you took in the view. There was something about this perspective that made your problems feel smaller and less pressing.
"Pretty cool, isn't it, ma?" Chris asked beside you as you heard the flick of his lighter sound as he held the flame up to the end of his joint. You quietly nodded, surprised by how much you could see from Chris' roof. "So, ma. What do you say we get to know each other better and play your favorite game, twenty questions?" Chris smiled over at you with the lit joint pinched between his two fingers.
You rolled your eyes, but you didn't have an excuse this time. There was no work to be done, and there was nowhere to go to avoid his questioning, so you took a deep breath and another swig of your drink. "Okay, fine. Hit me," you finally replied after a moment of hesitancy.
"Where do you go to clear your mind?" Chris wondered, his gaze locked on you. "The beach. I like the waves. The sounds of the seagulls. Feeling the sand between my toes. It's peaceful," you shrugged. Even though the question wasn't a very personal one, you felt vulnerable answering.
"What about you, Chris?" You wondered aloud. "You're looking at it," Chris said with his joint tucked between his lips. He didn't need to explain anything further. You could tell why this was the place he went to sort out his thoughts.
"Alright. What kind of music do you listen to?" You blurted out, not sure of what to ask him next. "Anything, really. But I prefer indie over everything else," he told you. "Okay, play me your favorite song," you told him, gesturing towards his phone he had sitting beside him. He picked it up, staring back at you as he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he responded, scrolling through the saved albums on his phone until he came across AM by Arctic Monkeys. No. 1 Party Anthem started playing through the speaker of his phone, and you nodded in approval as the melody filled the space between you.
"If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose?" Chris asked, turning off his phone screen and letting the song play softly in the background of your conversation. You thought about it for a moment. "See, I wanna say Pablo Escobar or something, but I think I'd want to have dinner with one of those druglords who flew under the radar so well that we don't even know their names," you replied. "Damn, ma. That's a good answer," Chris mumbled with the joint hanging from his lips.
He glanced up at you as if silently reminding you it was your turn to ask a question. "What did you think of me when you first met me?" You wondered aloud. You gave him a look like he should be careful about how answered this question. He cracked a smile, remembering the first time you'd approached him and threatened him for selling his weed on your block and trying to steal your customers. "I thought you were tough. Not the kind of woman you want to mess with. I also thought you were super hot," Chris admitted. You blushed, hoping Chris couldn't tell in the glow of the moon.
"What's one thing you don't leave the house without?" Chris asked you, pulling a long drag from his joint. "My keys," you sharply responded, subtly teasing him for having to break into his own place earlier. He let out a laugh. "And my gun," you told him. You sipped on your bubbly drink, noting that the song had changed.
Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High started to play as you glanced back over at the blue-eyed man beside you. "If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?" You asked, peeling the label off your beer bottle. "Nothing," Chris smirked over at you. "Nothing?" You reiterated, furrowing your brow. "Nothing," he repeated. "You're a little cocky, aren't you?" You shot back. "I prefer confident," Chris chuckled before he pulled from the joint again.
"What do you think the most important quality in a friend or partner is?" Chris asked after a few seconds of silence. "Honesty and loyalty," you said without hesitation, and Chris nodded in agreement. "You?" You asked. "Probably just someone who isn't going to bail when things get hard," Chris sincerely responded.
"What's your biggest fear?" You asked him, the questions getting deeper and deeper. "Losing the people I love," he answered, staring down at the build-up of ash on the cherry before flicking it off. "How about you, ma?" He returned the question. "Trusting the wrong person and getting hurt," you responded almost immediately. "I get that," Chris answered, his gaze still fixed on you.
"What's your guilty pleasure?" Chris asked you, his luscious lips curling into a smile as he awaited your response. "Probably those dumb reality shows," you admitted, your cheeks growing warm. "Really? Never took you for a girl who likes trash TV," Chris teasingly nudged your arm. "Daisy loves that shit, too."
"What's one of your guilty pleasures?" You asked Chris. He bit down on his lip as he looked you up and down. He knew what he wanted to say, but he knew it would be crossing the line of just playful flirting and venturing into uncharted territory, so he came up with something on the spot.
"Watching the trash TV with her. I'm always making fun of her for watching The Bacholorette and shit like that, but then I find myself watching it with her and getting all invested," Chris confessed.
"I totally get it. Like, I started watching it as a joke at first, and then you get to know the people. Then you start wanting them to end up together," you said, glancing up at him, and his eyes met yours. The song changed again, and you listened as the lyrics came through:
đ¶ If you like your coffee hot, let me be your coffee pot. You call the shots, babe. I just wanna be yours. đ¶
The two of you stared at each other in a comfortable silence for a moment, Chris taking a puff of his weed as you took a swig of beer. "So, what does Daisy think you're out doing all day when you're working?" You wondered, raising an eyebrow at him. "As far as she knows, I work in sales, which isn't totally a lie. She just doesn't know about the drugs," Chris shrugged. "Yeah, she doesn't know about the most important detail," you scoffed, tapping on the glass of your bottle.
"Why are you always judging me for that, ma? I've got my reasons. Why are you so pressed about it?" He asked, sounding a bit defensive. "I had an ex who kept things from me, like how much money he owed certain people. He put me in a lot of dangerous situations. Don't want to watch you do the same shit to Daisy," you murmured, letting Chris in more than you had up until this point. "I didn't know, ma," Chris said, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder and relaxing his jaw. "You know, I'd never intentionally hurt her. Or you."
"It doesn't matter, Chris. You can be the most well-intentioned person in the world and still hurt the people around you," you responded. He was quiet for a few minutes, mulling over what you said.
"Your ex? Alex?" Chris wondered, blowing out a cloud of smoke against the night sky as he recalled Joe using that name earlier. "Yeah. My dumb fuck ex. He got himself killed because he owed the wrong people money," you said in a dry tone. "Holy shit. Ma, I'm so sorry," Chris whispered. "Don't be. He deserved it," you muttered under your breath.
"Hey, I have a question. Why do you always call me ma?" You chimed in. "It's just a sign of respect. That's all," he shrugged. "Why? Does it bother you?"
"No. It's fine. I don't care what you call me. You gotta stop looking at me like that, though. Looking like you're gonna kiss me or some shit," you accused him, following his gaze that danced between your eyes and your lips as you took another drink of your beer. The song changed again.
đ¶ How many secrets can you keep? 'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow, and I play it on repeat until I fall asleep. đ¶
"I'm not looking at you any type of way! Maybe you're projecting because you wanna kiss me," he shot back. The sexual tension between the two of you was thick, and for a moment, you each thought about it. The temptation was there, and it was strong. You wanted to pull him as close as you could, passionately press your lips against his, and tangle your fingers in his soft, brown hair, but you didn't want to ruin your business relationship with him.
Chris thought the same, wondering what it would be like to kiss you, but he didn't want to screw up what he had with Daisy, and he didn't want to give you the wrong impression. He diverted his eyes, glancing down at his joint that had burned down to the roach, and he put it out. "Get enough of the view, ma? I'm getting kind of tired," Chris chimed in as you admired his profile in the moonlight.
For a moment, you forgot he was talking about the scape of the city from the roof. "Oh, right. Yeah, of course. I should probably go," you said, fiddling with the empty bottle in your hand. "You can stay the night if you need to," Chris motioned towards the alcoholic beverage you'd finished off, but he knew he was playing with fire the moment the words left his mouth, inviting you to stay the night.
đ¶ Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? Sad to see you go, was sort of hoping that you'd stay. đ¶
The two of you exchanged a look like you both knew it wouldn't be a good idea. Even with you both sleeping in separate rooms, you each knew deep down that a closed door wouldn't be enough to deter you two from the temptation. "It's cool, Chris. It was just one beer. I'll just grab a glass of water, sit on your couch for twenty minutes, and I'll be fine to drive," you told him. Chris picked up his phone and paused the song. "I got you, ma. I'll help you down."
You felt elated once you were finally sitting back down on Chris' couch, sobering up. You weren't sure if it was a buzz from the alcohol, an adrenaline rush from being on the roof, or just the way you were starting to feel around Chris.
Chris gave you some crackers to help "absorb the alcohol," because he had "heard somewhere that it does," and even though you'd only had one beer, it was sweet that he cared enough. You also both just knew that you had to sober up, because staying the night wasn't an option unless you were both prepared to give into the force that was pulling the two of you together and end up doing something that could hurt Daisy or hurt your business relationship.
So you were munching away on Ritz crackers on Chris' couch after your single beer, and once you felt like the effects of the alcohol had worn off, you made a comment about how late it was getting and about how you should probably get going.
You left, following the same stepping stones you'd used when you walked up. When you approached your car, you reached into your empty pocket for your keys just to remember you'd left them on Chris' coffee table. "Shit," you whispered, realizing you were going to have to do a walk of shame back up to his front door after giving him shit for forgetting his keys earlier.
Chris had already started to get ready for bed, shedding his layers and slipping into a pair of flannel pajama pants when a soft knock sounded at his front door. He peeked through the peephole to make sure it was you, his heart racing and secretly wondering if you'd come back to kiss him or confess your feelings for him, his mind swirling with half a dozen possibilities.
He turned the doorknob, and when you saw him, your eyes were immediately drawn to the fact that he was shirtless. "Uh, sorry. I forgot my keys," you told him, unable to conceal your smile at the irony of the situation. "Oh, you mean, the keys you don't go anywhere without?" Chris asked, leaning against the door frame and indulging in the fact that you were doing nothing to hide the fact that you were checking him out.
"Yeah. Those ones," you smirked, biting down on your lip. "I'll go get 'em, ma," Chris chuckled at you as he turned to retrieve your keys. You found yourself holding your breath as your gaze danced over the definition of his back muscles in the soft lighting of his living room.
He handed them to you, and as you took them from him, his hand brushed against yours. You both exchanged a look that was heavy with the words unspoken between you, but you also both silently agreed it was for the best. "Okay, goodnight," you said, unconsciously batting your eyelashes at him. "Goodnight," Chris smirked, eyeing you up and down as you turned to walk away before closing his door again.
As soon as you made it to your car, you reflected on the way you acted and how stupid you must have sounded, silently kicking yourself. You didn't harp on it for long, though. Your embarrassment was quickly overshadowed by the intoxication and bliss you felt from being around such an attractive man who was beginning to make you smile more than he made you roll your eyes.
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Lotus Eater | chapter 2- 3.2k words
my main masterlist - eddie masterlist - series masterlist
previous chapter - next chapter
summary: eddie's your ride to school. life can't get any worse.... can it?
warnings: slow burn, 18+ mdni, mentions of bullying, abusive parents, food aversion, eating food in general, playing the lottery, reader has hair but not specified style, eddie drives fast, reader is constantly annoyed by him, nicknames (sunshine, he loves sunshine, sweetheart, etc).
a/n: hiii friends. chapter 2 is here. i'm working through this fic pretty steadily. let me know your thoughts! if you want to be added to the tag list, just let me know! <3
A routine settles in rather quickly.Â
After you and Eddie realize that the battery needs to be replaced in your piece of shit car, you call your mom at the diner and had her add you on for some evening shifts. You would be helping with dinner rushes on Fridays and working doubles on the weekends, if the hours allowed it.Â
This meant that without a car, you were now relying on Eddie to take you to and from school. And you disliked almost every second spent with him. Every morning it was the same conversation.Â
âGood morning, sweetheart,â He would say.Â
âDonât call me that,â you would respond.Â
âWhy?â He would ask.Â
âBecause Iâm not⊠that,â you would retort.
âRight⊠okay. Remind me not to speak to Miss Cranky-Pants in the mornings.â
And then the morning would be tuned out to some metal tape he had inserted into his radio.Â
After a week, he started stopping by the mini-mart right down the street from school and would pick himself up some mini chocolate donuts. And for some reason, he was adamant about buying you something to eat. The first time he tried, you told him you already ate, which was a bald-faced lie. He saw straight through you and brought you a pack of the same donuts he liked. You confessed you were not into chocolate donuts, you much preferred the powdered ones.Â
So every morning now, he would come out with a plastic bag with a new pack of cigarettes, two sleeves of mini donuts, and a Yoohoo. You absolutely refused to drink one of those things, much to Eddieâs dismay.
You would accept the donuts, never opening them. You just threw them into your backpack, letting them pile up in the front pocket.
During school hours, you began your journey as being completely friendless. Kacey has completely iced you out, even making jokes about you as you pass her locker. Gabe has her wrapped around his finger and all of his stupid jock friends used you as their newest target. You had paper thrown at you in math, people asking you jokingly where you bought your stained jeans from, and one guy even tripped you when trying to leave for the parking lot after school.Â
You do not understand where you went wrong. The only thing that could have triggered all of this is you asking Kacey what drugs she was taking during class. But now you are the butt of everyoneâs joke.Â
You started to just keep your head down, avoiding the cafeteria, and biting your tongue when you heard snarky remarks about you in hushed tones.Â
Eddie noticed something was awry after a couple of weeks.Â
You do not know how, but one ride home in the afternoon he breaks the silence by pestering you about where you sat at lunch.Â
âI donât see you hanging out with that girl you usually hang out with.â
You swallow your pride.Â
Only because you honestly wanted to talk about it with someone. Your pent-up anger was silently bridled deep within the pits of your stomach, waiting to explode. You could not talk to your parents and having no siblings gave you no outlet to just vent about it all. While you did not consider Eddie much of anything, besides maybe an acquaintance, he was now a listening ear for 20 minutes of the day when he took you to and from school.Â
âSheâs not really my friend anymore.â
You can taste the bile in the back of your throat. It still tears you up inside that you did not have the Kacey you once knew and adored. She was lost, straying too far from where she once was.
His eyes glance over at you and then back at the back road that leads directly to your shared neighborhood. âDo you⊠want to talk about it?â
Hearing him pose the question causes you to retract back into yourself. You were not sure you were able to formulate the emotions into words quite yet. You thought the feelings all the time, but you were never good at putting them into a cohesive string of words.Â
You study Eddieâs side profile for a moment, trying to muster up enough confidence to express yourself genuinely.Â
The courage falters as soon as his brown eyes meet yours.Â
âI donât think so.â
And the conversation ends there.
-
When Friday evening rolled around, you got dressed for work and piled into your Momâs old Chevy to head for a night shift at the diner.
Arriving there felt like a judge reading you your death sentence. The place was packed already at 4:30. You wrap a partially stained apron around your waist and get to taking tables. Most of the older folks were kind, tipping you extra when you told them you were just getting back into the swing of working again.Â
But once 8:00 hit, the kids spilling out from the Hawkins High football game started piling into your booths. You were very overwhelmed when you got the 10 top and everyone wanted something different to drink. You stood at the soda fountain for 5 minutes, trying to not give yourself a headache remembering what every kid wanted.Â
When you deliver everyone their drinks, you jot down their food orders. Luckily everyone pretty much wanted burgers and chicken tenders, which would save you and the cooks more stress. When you ring in everyoneâs desired meals, you go to the back door and stand outside for a moment, trying to rake in the fresh air.Â
You were drowning.Â
Everything literally went wrong in less than a week. You had no car, no friends, had to return to the job you despised, and there was no end in sight.Â
You try to take some deep breaths, closing your eyes to recenter yourself. You needed to get a grip. You did not have time to mope and freak out. You had to deal with it.
You walk back inside, your jaw tightened with tension. When the bell dings that your food is ready to be run, you do just that.Â
-
You worked a double on Saturday and Sunday, occupying your entire weekend with annoying customers and your nagging mother.Â
She was now requiring you to pay her $10 every time she drove you somewhere, including the diner. It was just another way for her to manipulate and take advantage of your hard work which is something sheâs always done. You had no choice, forking out $40 by the end of the two days.Â
You knew that this was the way things would always be with your parents. No give, all take. You had spent most of your life being the person they needed you to be. They did not care about your grades, no, they cared if you cleaned the house. Did their laundry. Made sure the lawn was mowed. You could swear to whatever God that they only had you to have their own personal housekeeper.Â
Your mom was particularly vicious. She has never said one nice thing to you, always reminding you that you would just be stuck in the same awful cycle she was in. Poverty. Having kids young. Dead-end jobs.Â
You were set up to fail by your parents, and thatâs why you wanted to get out so badly.Â
Your college applications will be hand-delivered to the post office the moment you finish them. You needed out. You would get out.Â
On Monday morning, you wake up early to take a long shower in the morning. You could still smell the fryerâs grease on your body and it made you feel disgusting. You practically scrub your skin raw trying to rid the fried scent for a vanilla lavender smell.Â
You get dressed, not even bothering to dry your hair. Your hair dryer was partially broken anyway. You needed to get outside before Eddie, wanting to give your hair some time to dry in the chilly morning breeze. You step out the door, you instantly curl your arms around yourself. The wind was sharper, more crisp than the morning before. Dead winter would be here in no time.
You shoot a glance over to Eddieâs trailer, seeing his uncle occupying the front porch.Â
Wayne was a nice guy. Kind of standoffish, but every conversation you have ever had with the man was always pleasant.Â
You do not know why, but you start walking across the street, gravel crunching under your sneakers.
âMorninâ, Mr. Munson,â You croak, clearing your throat as he puffs his cigarette.
âHey there,â He blows some smoke out of the side of his lip, âHeard Eddieâs been takinâ you to school.â
You nod, eyes flickering between him and the makeshift ashtray on a cardboard box to his left, âYeah, heâs been kind enough to take me since my carâs not running.â
He furrows his graying eyebrows, âBattery bad?â
âYeah, and I think something with the alternator. Or somethinâ. Iâm not 100% sure.â
His face relaxes a bit as he leans back in the plastic chair. He takes a breath, about to say something, but the front door opens and Eddie walks out. His eyes lock onto yours in an instant, smirking a bit at your appearance.
âNo time to dry your hair, sunshine?â He taunts, tossing his backpack over his shoulder. You want to laugh at his bold assumption, but instead, you just roll your eyes, looking at Wayne.Â
âGood morninâ to you, too, Eddie.â
Wayne chuckles a bit at your response, ashing out his cigarette. âYou always have a way with words, son.â
Eddie pats his shoulder, a shit-eating grin taking up most of his face.Â
âThanks, man. I learned from the best.â
âWasnât me,â He grumbles, standing up with a grunt, âDonât let him make you believe that, girl.â
Your face twists into a sly smirk, âNo need to worry, Mr. Munson.â
Wayne wishes you two a good day and heads back into the confines of his trailer. You look at Eddie as he leans against the banister of the small front porch. He drops down a step, giggling like a little kid. You get a whiff of his cologne as soon as the wind picks up. Itâs strong but the masculine scent is unobjectionable. Eddie never particularly smelled bad, just sometimes the cologne mixed with the smell of marijuana and made his jean jacket smell stale.Â
Why were you analyzing his fragrance anyway?
âI didnât mean to take a jab at you, by the way. Your hair looks good,â He swallows his Adamâs apple bobbing. He brings you out of your own thoughts as his brows drop, his expressive face now stern, âI mean y-you look good-â
âSave it. Itâs fine, Eddie.â
But his compliment makes goosebumps crawl across your skin. The way heâs looking at you, almost admiringly, is disabling your ability to swallow. You have never felt your face flush before, but the burning of your cheeks gives you away rather quickly. You turn away from him, your feet crushing the broken concrete under your shoes.Â
âWe canât be late, letâs get a move on.â
-
Eddie stops for his YooHoo and donuts, but this time he does not bring you powder donuts. He hands you a lotto scratcher and some fruit snacks. When he drops it in your lap, your first instinct is to gasp.Â
âSaw you eating those suckers in the hall last week,â He mumbles, shoving his glass bottle of chocolate âdrinkâ in his cup holder. He slams his door before he starts up the engine again.Â
It makes you smile to think that he watched you munching on your favorite snack in between classes. It is weirdly thoughtful, something you do not really expect from him. You grab the lotto ticket, holding it up.Â
âAnd this?â
He chuckles, ripping open his pack of donuts with his teeth, animalistically. âMaybe youâll get lucky and not have to work at the diner.â
Another randomly thoughtful thing.Â
Instead of reading into the intentions of the gesture, you grab a penny from his tray of change and start to follow the instructions on the scratcher. 5 even numbers in a row and you win $500. You start randomly scratching the rows of numbers, knowing that you will not win much if anything. These things were one in a million chances.Â
You start to get hope when you get 22, 34, 12, and 6. One more even number and you would not have to work at the diner anymore. To think that Eddie would have solved all your issues with a $2 lottery ticket.Â
7.Â
âFuck!â You groan, slamming the penny back into the pile of miscellaneous change.Â
âNot a winner?â He giggles, pushing his second donut in 5 seconds into his mouth. Some crumbles of chocolate fall from his lips, which makes you cringe.Â
âFirst, chew with your mouth closed,â You wave at him with your pointer finger, âAnd second, yeah. Only four even numbers and not five like it wants.â
He covers his mouth with his ring-clad hand, chewing obnoxiously loudly. He swallows his sweet breakfast before he speaks, âIâm sorry, sunshine. Thereâs always next time!â
âI am not playing âtil I win.â
He licks the tips of his fingers, ridding them of the chocolate layer. You donât know why, but the way his rings catch the light, you find yourself almost hypnotized by the way his fingers move toward his lips.Â
He snatches the ticket from you, looking at the bold font and scrunching his nose. âWell, I am.â
-
You kept your head down all day. You skipped lunch and decided that time at the library would be a better option. When you sit down at a table, you notice the crew of kids beside you get up and snicker something about you. You eye them carefully and realize one of the girls is friends with Gabe. He really had everyone believing you were the worst person to ever exist. At this rate, you were going to beat out Eddie on being the biggest loser in school.Â
You get to his van later than usual, getting caught up in last period and ensuring your microscope was put away correctly. You are practically sprinting across the parking lot, nervous that he may just leave without you.Â
Heâs chainsmoking a cigarette, leaning up against his hunk of metal. He does not catch your eye immediately, as heâs chatting to Gareth and waving his arms around like a madman. Eddieâs very animated, especially when he has the space to flail his arms around. Heâs pretty good about keeping his hands near himself when you are in the car with him.Â
You exhale a loud sigh as you arrive at his side, your hands pressing into your hips.Â
âDid you run here?â Eddie asks as he lets smoke twirl out of his mouth. Gareth must have seen you running and just nods for you. You nod along with him, inhaling a big breath and then releasing it when your lungs stop burning.Â
âI didnât want you to leave without me,â You pant, shifting your gaze away from the two boys. The idea that you relied so heavily on Eddie was making you nervous. If you got stuck here, half the school would refuse to give you a ride and you would have to walk home 5 miles. It would be as equally annoying as it was unsafe.Â
Eddie smirks, taking another drag of his cigarette. Gareth grins knowingly, tucking his hands in his dark denim.Â
âI ainât ever gonna leave without you, princess. I can guarantee that.âÂ
-
âYou need to slow down!â
It was the one-millionth time you were yelling at Eddie to manage his speed. He was always flying down the back roads even though he had no reason to be in a rush. He just liked going fast.
His twisted expression throws you off this time. He reaches out, slapping your thigh playfully, âAw, passenger princess getting nervous going 45 in a 25?â
You instantaneously smack his hand away, much harder than he patted you. You were not getting nervous, you just did not want to run the risk of Eddie getting pulled over and your mom not waiting around for you to arrive home to go to work. You needed the money and the anxiety of missing out because Eddie gets a ticket is stressing you out.Â
You tighten your jaw, âYes! Youâre gonna get pulled over!â
Your raised voice makes his face droop a bit in regret. Eddie was pretty good at reading when you were over the teasing. On rare days, he would continue on and mock your projected voice, which would lead to you completely icing him out. And if thereâs one thing Eddie hated, it was you completely ignoring him. He thrived on getting a reaction, sure, but he enjoyed casual conversation with you even more than that.Â
âFine,â He raises his foot off the gas, slowing down to a cool 30 miles per hour, âOnly because I have sunshine in the car. Donât want you to get your panties in a twist.â
You huff, trying to not get annoyed by his jab, but it starts to eat at you immediately. His words are like a soundboard of your Dad. Always making you sound more dramatic and obnoxious than what you really were.Â
âStop calling me that. No sweetheart. No sunshine.â
As if to twist the knife, Eddie whispers under his breath, âYou need to smoke a joint or something, youâre so tense all the time, sunshine.â
You grit your teeth, eyes darting over to him, âWeed fries your brain.â
He scoffs, smacking his steering wheel as if to take his annoyance out on it. âIt does not!â
âYou are a classic example. My Dad is an even better example,â You explain, crossing your arms over your stomach. You cock your brow, which Eddie catches the moment he finally looks at you.
He smiles and it makes your skin crawl. It was virtually impossible to get under this manâs skin fully and it bothered you. âYou are not giving me any credit, sweets.â
âDo I suddenly need to? All you do is smoke and sit around. A lot like my Dad, except he has a real job.â
That gets him. You watch as he flicks on his turning signal and clears his throat. You render him speechless for a moment as he pulls down the gravel pathway. His eyes slowly blink as he pulls into his driveway and throws the van in park. He huffs, dramatically and pointedly.Â
âJesus, you really know how to knock a guy down a peg.â
You had enough of him at that point. âJust stating the obvious.â
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