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crashdevlin · 5 years ago

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Turn 4- Welcome Back

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Author’s Note: Written after The Last Jedi. So, Episode IX doesn’t count for this shit. Also, Rian Johnson said that the First Order aren’t Sith and I was running with that so *shrug* don’t @ me.

Summary: Y/n is back on the Finalizer, and that is not a good thing for her.

Pairing: past Ben Solo x Padawan!Reader, Poe Dameron x Reader, Armitage Hux x Reader

Word count: 3963

Story Warnings: Torture, a bit of angst, possessive Kylo,

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You cut yourself off from the Force so that I wouldn't be able to find you. I bet that feels like a very stupid idea, now." Kylo's voice cut through your mind as you started to wake, giving you not a second of ignorance of your situation. Your eyes fluttered open to see yourself in exactly the place you expected: half-naked, bound to a table in an interrogation room on a First Order battleship, the Supreme Leader standing menacingly several meters away.

"I could never match you for pure strength of the Force, Kylo. It's why I never tried."

"That's why you went to Rey. You think she can beat me. Her raw strength with your dedication."

"My training and foreknowledge of your training, my knowledge of your fighting style...Rey could end you, if she'd just let go of saving you."

"And that's why the Jedi will always fail!"

"No. She'll come around."

"'Come around'? To what? Your views of anger and hate?"

"No. To the greater good."

Kylo's eyes narrowed at you. "Where is your hate?" He reached a hand out and closed his eyes as he searched your mind. You tried to keep him from the knowledge he was seeking, but it was futile. He was always much better at getting into your head than you were at keeping him out. "The pilot?" He recoiled, disgust (and anger?) distorting his face. "From Jakku? You know, I've been in his mind. I've seen how he thinks about women."

You closed your eyes as he leaned over you. "You're just another conquest to him. I guarantee you, he's telling some starfighter mechanic all about how he made a Sith Lord moan like a whore."

You shook your head. He was just trying to hurt you. "Who cares if Poe brags? What does it matter? You're about to kill me."

"Because, you stupid nerf, you belong to me!" Your eyes snapped open at that. "I tolerated your time with Hux because Snoke wouldn't let me have you back and you hate Hux as much as I do, but this? This, with the pilot, you want to be happy with him and that is inexcusable!"

"You didn't want me back! You can't expect me to believe-"

"Of course I wanted you back! You were everything I wanted and you were right there in front of me and I wasn't allowed to have you!"

"Whose fault is that?!" you spat back. "Who invited Snoke in? Who let him take over every aspect of our lives and the way we dealt with each other?"

"You took his offer, just as I did," Kylo reasoned, grabbing your chin with his gloved right hand and forcing you to look at his face.

"No, see my offer was different. Your offer was 'Join me and gain unimaginable power through the Dark Side of the Force'. Mine was 'Join me or die'. 'Join or I make the man who broke your heart destroy you entirely.' I could've said 'no', but then, I'd be dead."

"You're right. It was unfair." He nodded, biting at his lip. "Everything Snoke did to us was unfair. But you didn't leave when Snoke was in charge. You didn't turn traitor until you were betraying me."

"Snoke would've seen a double-cross coming parsecs away. You couldn't. Your control has always been lacking."

He stared into your eyes for a minute before letting your chin go and stepping away. "Of course, that means I'll have to make an example out of you. I can't anticipate betrayal like Snoke would have, so I'll have to make sure everyone knows the consequences if they turn on me." He pulled his gloves off. "Normally, I'd just do this with the Force, but for you, Y/n, I'm willing to get my hands bloody." As he examined knives and tools of torture on a worktable next to you, he stiffened. "Go away."

"Gladly," you responded, but you knew he was talking to Rey.

"I'm busy," he growled and turned toward the wall. "Tell Poe that she's mine. He had no right to try--Are you so certain of that? Pain turned her last time." His fist clenched. "Well, if physical pain doesn't work the same, then she'll make a fine slave. She already knows what I like." His fist impacted the wall, making you flinch. "She's a traitor! To the First Order, to the Dark Side, to me! She will be treated--This isn't about our past. It's about the future and her place in it. With me! Well, I'll be waiting for him."

He turned to you, grabbing a knife from the little worktable. "Rey seems to think your pilot is going to come for you. Will you be in pieces when he does?"

"He won't come."

"Oh? I thought he wanted to save you?" he taunted, bringing the knife up to your cheek, centimeters away from your eye.

"From myself, not from you." You took a steady breath, careful not to move. "Your mother won't let him come for me. It'd be a suicide mission."

"He's been on those before."

"Not like this. He wouldn't even make it aboard. He's the best pilot the Resistance has. The General wouldn't allow him to come."

"Then, it's just you and me, again. Finally." He dug the knife into your cheek and you stopped yourself from screaming. He'd do worse before the session was complete and you weren't about to start out giving him what he wants. "You know, I have wanted to make you scream again since you started fucking Hux. You did it to get to me, didn't you?" He pulled the knife away from your face and sliced it across your clavicle. "I used to listen to your encounters. I could tell he wasn't satisfying you, but you continued to call him back to you. Why, if not to taunt me?"

You glared up at him, but didn't answer. The back of his hand sliced across your face and you gasped. "There's that sound, the one Hux was only able to get out of you once. He should've tried pain. You're much more receptive to pain."

"Were you listening every time, you snake?" You were filled with disgust at the thought. You knew he knew, but you hadn't thought he was listening.

"Every time," he whispered, pushing the knife into the soft tissue above your hip. You screamed...and he bristled with excitement. "I'm going to enjoy making you an example, Y/n. I have always loved the little noises you make." You screamed as the knuckles of his left hand impacted your right eye socket. "You're going to wish you never left."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know, I have always felt that love is a useful emotion that, when used in conjunction with good training and control, can be a powerful antagonist to the Dark Side," a familiar voice made you open your eyes as far as you could with the swelling, revealing a blurry blue spirit. "Which is why I never confronted you and Ben about it."

"Master Luke?" Your voice was hoarse from screaming and your throat was on fire.

"Hindsight being perfect, I should have told you that I knew so that you wouldn't have felt like you needed to hide it." You coughed and tried to open your eyes further. "I like that Poe, though. Reminds me of Han if he hadn't been a scoundrel. Can see why my sister likes him so much."

"H-how am I...seeing you?"

"You're all plugged in again, kid. Takes a lot of meditation to cut yourself off but just one clear desire to come back. Welcome back to the Light."

"Wha-"

"You can't feel it? The change in you?"

"I feel pain...all over me."

"But inside, where Lord Shax used to belong, do you feel her? Do you feel your hate? Or do you feel serenity underneath that pain?"

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The pain seemed omnipresent, but you reached out and pushed past it to find calm. Not anger at Kylo Ren for hurting you or hatred for all of his actions against you, just calm like you never felt even as a padawan. "How?"

"Did you ever wonder why you couldn't get the kind of power Ben has, no matter how much you studied or how hard you worked? It's not his blood, his ancestry, like he thinks. It's conflict. You were always so conflicted, Y/n. Conflicted over being away from your parents, conflicted over your reasons for becoming a Jedi, conflicted over Ben, and even when you went to the Dark Side, you were conflicted because you still had love for him. You're not conflicted, anymore. There's resolve in you, now, and with it, calm and serenity."

"Well, then, maybe when he kills me, I'll go to the Force." You opened your eyes to look at the blue blur again.

"You're gonna let that guy kill you?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I? No one's coming for me. Even if they tried, they'd never make it onto the ship."

"But you already have an ally here. You know, tall, skinny, hair like an overripe hubba gourd, drools like a blarth when he sees you..."

"Hux?"

"That's the one. He'll be coming to you soon."

"Why? Why would he help me?"

"He's not planning to...yet. You will have to work on him. But you won't have a problem twisting him." The blue blur got closer and you blinked a couple times to clear your vision. He was significantly older than he'd looked on Crait, his beard long and grey. "Do you remember how to do Force Healing?" You nodded, slightly. "Good. Heal your internal injuries. That punctured lung, especially. The superficial damage will only help your case with Hux, but you'll probably need to be able to breathe if you want to escape."

"Master Luke?"

"Yes, Y/n?"

"Thank you. I never thought-"

"Don't thank me, kid. It was Leia who saw you still had Jedi potential."

"I'll thank her if I make it back to Colstev."

"You will. Never doubt the power of the Force." He smiled as he disappeared, and you closed your eyes to begin the meditation needed for Force Healing.

You could feel Hux coming before the door opened. You didn't open your eyes until you knew the door behind him had closed. Your vision was clear when you opened your puffy eyelids to look at the redhead. "I heard you were here." He took a cautious step forward. "Leader Ren says you've been working with the Rebels."

"Of course, I have," you responded, softly, inflecting as much pain as possible into your voice. "I told you, Armitage. I am not strong enough to take down the Supreme Leader by myself. I had to...I had to go to the Jedi from Jakku. The girl is my only hope to put an end to Kylo Ren."

"Where is the Resistance base? Where can I find them? Bomb them to the ends of the universe?" he asked, stepping closer.

"I can't tell you that."

"Then you have become-"

"I need the girl," you interrupted. "Armitage, you've known me for years. You believe Kylo Ren over me? You really think I would turn my back on the First Order? I've done what I needed to do to gain the trust of the Rebel scum, and I can't tell you where they are until Rey has helped me attain my goals."

Hux reached forward, tracing his gloved thumb across your burst lip. You could see him searching your eyes for your deception. "I want to believe you, but...why would Leader Ren do this if you weren't a traitor?"

"Think it through. I couldn't tell him why I went to them, now, could I? I had to let him believe I was a traitor...and really, I am, aren't I? Only to him, though, not the Order...not you."

He pulled his hand back. "You're manipulating me. You've never been like this with me."

You sighed. "Perhaps it's the torture I've endured. Maybe it's the lonely months I've been away, but if my options are 'stay the Ice Queen you expect of me and die', or 'show a bit of inner warmth and survive'? I'll show a side of me you've not seen." He let out an almost-imperceptible gasp. "It's been difficult for me. You know that, don't you? I can't let myself show weakness. Never have. Especially around him."

"The safety of your quarters would have been a perfect place to-"

"There is no safety. He was listening."

"He was." It wasn't a question, but a confirmation, like you'd validated his suspicions.

"If I'm left here, Armitage, he will kill me...or he will torture me until I am broken and enslave me."

He searched your eyes for a moment before leaning forward. "Part of me thinks you should be taken down several pegs, but...not by him." He pressed his lips to your forehead and ran his hands down your arms. "If I release you, it might come down on me."

"I know. I know you'd be risking a lot for me to just...leave you here, but-"

"He'd kill me if he knew I let you leave, Shax."

"Then don't let him know. When you leave, send in several guards. I'll overpower them and escape. It won't be your fault, then, it will be theirs."

"My guards, my fault."

"Only indirectly," you whispered.

"When you leave, I won't see you again, will I?" he asked, moving his hands to your shoulders to rest beside the wounds there.

"No. Not until Rey and I kill Kylo Ren."

"Then I will take advantage of your restraints to do what I've been wanting to do since the first time you stepped in front of me." He pressed his lips to yours, careful of the split in your lip, and kissed you for the first time. He was surprisingly gentle about it and you were left shocked breathless as he pulled away, looking superior as he pressed the button on the side of the table which released you. "Remember how I took your breath away, Master Shax. Just this once, I left you breathless." He smirked as he walked out.

Twenty minutes later, you were standing over two stormtroopers, putting on the armor of the unconscious one to cover your skin. "The astromech robot I had with me on Cantonica, did it make it onto the ship?"

"Eat druk, traitor scum."

You waved your fingers across his face and adopted a slightly off tone. "You will tell me if an astromech with the designation BB-752 was brought onto Finalizer."

"I will tell you if an astromech with the designation BB-752 was brought onto Finalizer. Leader Ren had it. It wouldn't tell him where the rebel base was, so he took his laser sword to it. It was sent to the droid shop to salvage anything useful from it."

You sighed. At least it wasn't left behind in Canto Bight. "You will go to the hangar and ready Leader Ren's command vessel."

"I will go to the hangar and ready Leader Ren's command vessel."

"He has a long trip ahead, so his transport needs to be completely fueled and stocked with food."

"Leader Ren, himself, requested you do this. It's a great honor that he noticed you."

"Supreme Leader Ren asked me to do this for him. It's an honor he noticed me," the stormtrooper said, before slowly walking out of the room.

You sneaked down the hallway outside the droid shop after grabbing BB-752 from a junk pile. "You think I'm going to let you leave, again, Y/n?"

You turned to Kylo, who was standing by the elevator at the other end of the hall. "You think I'm going to allow you to stop me, Ren?"

"Suddenly, you're so--You've reconnected to the Force," he said, suddenly.

"Yes," you responded, nodding.

"And you're...a Jedi again?"

"Never really was before, was I? Always too conflicted. But now...resolute. Without doubt, I know what I need to do."

"And what, exactly, is it that you need to do?"

"I need to save you...or take you down."

"Then why are you running?"

You chuckled, setting your astromech down at your feet. "I'm injured, Kylo. You hurt me. I'm not in any shape for a lightsaber battle."

"You're lying. You healed. Your face might be bloody, but you aren't in pain."

"The risk outweighs the possible reward." You gestured around you. "We're on your turf. Surrounded by your people. I am alone. I cannot win."

"I won't let you leave. You belong-"

"I don't belong to you. You tossed me out like garbage."

"Snoke made me!" Kylo stomped forward several feet, but you didn't move. "He saw that the only way you'd reach your potential was if I--if I broke you. I didn't want to do it, but I wanted you to be-"

"Listen to yourself! You did not want me, Ben, or you would have done something, said something...you would have showed me, somehow, that you loved me. We risked everything to be together at the Temple and if you still loved me, you would have-"

"I couldn't! I wanted you. I-"

"You hurt me! Physically, mentally, you hurt me, and you think I'm gonna belong to you?"

"You already do! From the first time I made you scream-"

"You made me scream several hours ago, but that's a much different-"

"Y/n, don't argue with me."

"You're not my master, anymore," you answered, causing his lip to curl in anger. "And you're not my boyfriend."

"I'll show you-"

"And you're looking in the wrong place," you said, as you picked up BB-752 and walked out of the beam of the holoprojector. You could hear his anguished yell from halfway across the battleship, as you dropped the astromech into navigator seat of Kylo's command vessel and peeled out of the hangar.

~~~~

You dropped the command vessel on one of the many moons of Iego and you almost cried when the Millennium Falcon touched down next to the black Upsilon command shuttle. Poe was the first one down the ramp, BB-8 rolling behind him. "How did you-" He wasn't able to finish the question because he had grabbed you and pulled you into a hug. "I was sure that bastard was going to kill you."

"He almost did," you said, quietly. "But the Force saved me. Luke, Luke saved me."

"You can tell me all about it on the Falcon. Come on."

"Let me grab my bag." You went back to the command shuttle to pick up the bag you'd found on the shuttle, which held your astromech.

"What happened to it?" Poe asked, looking in the bag as he walked up the ramp behind you.

"Kylo never liked BB-752. Definitely didn't like that it was loyal enough to keep the Rebel Base a secret for me." You tried to push down the sadness you had about it.

"Rey's pretty good with mechanical repairs. That's what she did on Jakku."

"I know." You set the astromech down on the ship and waited for Poe to join you in the sitting area, as the cargo ship took off, likely with Chewbacca piloting.

"Tell me everything," Poe demanded softly, as he sat in front of you.

"You heard what happened on Cantonica, right?"

He nodded. "We were so proud of you for standing your ground."

"Then I'll start with waking up on the Finalizer, mostly naked and set on a restraining table in front of a very angry Kylo Ren." You swallowed. "He was very angry that I'd turned rebel but he was furious about me and you."

"Really?" He sounded incredulous.

You nodded. "Yeah. Apparently, he still thinks I belong to him." Poe looked angry at the thought and that gave you a surge of happiness. "Didn't care about Hux because he knew I didn't really want Hux, but you...you took my hate, so he...He hurt me. He wanted to break me so that I'd be...what he wanted me to be. Make me his apprentice again or his slave."

"How bad was it?"

"You've been tortured by the First Order before. How do you think it was?"

"I'm sorry." He reached out and took your hand in his. "I assume Ren went harder on you than any of them went on me."

You chuckled. "Poe, do you have any idea what Snoke made us do to each other to prove we weren't in love anymore? What he did to me on Finalizer was just physical pain and I've been trained to combat that. Which he knew, of course, having received the same training, but he also knew he couldn't hurt me the way he used to; the way Snoke did, so he had to hope that I would be weaker than his efforts, like I always have been. But I...I guess I'm not anymore. For the first time in my life, I have something to be strong for."

You smiled softly, and Poe was powerless to stop the reciprocating smile he gave in return. "Anyway, he made me bleed, and he made me scream and eventually, I guess I passed out. When I woke up, I was back... and better. Shax is gone. I woke up and Luke was there, in Force Spirit, and he told me that he knew, the whole time, about Ben and me. He didn't say anything because he thought love was a powerful aid to the Light, and he's right, you know? Ben took my love and my Light and filled me up with hate and Darkness. You took my hate and filled me with Light."

"Is that your way of saying you love me?" Poe asked, with a smirk.

"Maybe. What I'm saying, more than that, is that Shax: Dark Lord of the Sith is dead."

"So, did you use your crazy magic to escape?" He moved to sit next to you instead of across from you.

You shook your head. "No. Actually, I used Armitage Hux." You leaned your head against his shoulder. "He just had to come see me once Kylo told him I'd turned traitor. I managed to convince him that I hadn't really turned against the First Order, just against Supreme Leader Ren. We'd spoken of our hatred for him in the past so it wasn't hard to convince him. He demanded the location of the base, but I told him that I couldn't give up the rebel base until Rey and I killed Kylo Ren and he released me." You left out the part about the kiss. It didn't seem that important.

"I did use my 'crazy magic' against the stormtroopers that Hux sent in for me to overpower. I got one of them to tell me where 752 was. Unfortunately, it was in a scrap heap. I really hope that Rey can fix it. I mean, I know it's a bit absurd that I'm upset about a robot, but-"

"Hey, I get it. Your astromech's a friend."

You nodded. "The oldest I've got. I've had BB-752 damn near my whole life, I can't imagine living without it. I'd really like the opportunity for it to see me... happy."

"We'll get it fixed," he promised, quietly. "I'm excited for the opportunity to see you happy, too." You just smiled and wrapped your arm around him. You were looking forward to being happy with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#cassie writes stuff #star wars fanfic #may the fourth be with you

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