#so uh...mhm well...yes I might have too many books. but this is only a problem as far as my bookshelf is concerned. LOL

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Randomly came across a post in a Tumblr search where someone was showing their books "sorted from thickest to thinnest" and it was just a single row of books and I was like...*glances nervously at my own bookcase* Okay, so...maybe do I actually have too many books? Or...do I have too many books... Not that I plan to get rid of pretty much any of them! But, well, actually, if you ask my bookshelf if I have too many books, it would wheeze "YES."

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-Read: The Remington Comic [PART 2]

TOME 11

We go, we steal, we leave… I don't want any trouble, Remington, got it? Wohaa, as if… I'm telling you, we steal Beating Heart and that's it.

The way Luis is drawn in this comic is so cute, sorry...

Very intrigued by the books standing on top of a flowerpot standing on top of a stool, the random kettle on the floor, a blanket half-covering an unidentified fucking object, more books, and what seems to be a bell, or a bottle, standing on the floor.

Kerubim and Atcham seem to have been away for A While. And Joris doesn't like to clean.

Make less noise when you walk. If we wake the guy up, meow to make him think a cat got into the home. Uh uh.

This idea is so stupid for so many reasons, both ones Remington and Grany should know, and ones known only to us... It's kind of admirable.

Also I still can't get over how fucking messy Joris is. Either it's his depression, his ADHD, or Kerubim's Upbringing that made him that way. Man...

Anyway,

Do you remember where it was stored? Don't worry. Here it is!

THE RANDOM ELEPHANT FIGURES?? I bet they're Keke's... Also, once again, many, many books left everywhere. He's insane.

Come here, you. What was that? No idea… You must have moved something that fell.

While I wish it was Luis, it's actually an unrelated monster under Bonta that will be a big problem in the next issue of the comic.

Come on… let's go! Yes… that was indeed the talking bow meow… who was transformed by a certain Ush.

The way he's talking about them here is so science-y. As if whether they would come or not was like an experiment to him. It's so funny.

Also, Pupuce!!!!! My beloved Pupuce. <3

My instincts tell me to go hang out in the slums for a while. If only he could stay there...

LMAOOO.

Once again, I am grateful that Ush's weird and creepy relationship with cats (albeit... sentient cats, at least) was retconned into a more positive one in season 4 of Wakfu. I still think it's fucking weird, but it certainly makes him funnier as a character.

Ush hates Bump, and it's really like... "my noble sentient catfucking (while i myself shapeshift into a cat) vs. your creepy and barbarous panty collecting."

Hello, you may call me Joris, I would like to meet the noble Ush in order to ask him a few questions about a rogue and a bow meow that... Master does not accept visitors. ??

THIS IS SO FUNNY. THE WAY HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF?? The way this guy closed the door. God...

Also, his cunty little hand on chest thing.... I CAN'T.

Mhh, very well… Let's see. Mhm... If anyone knows where the beating heart is, then that person is here. YYAAAAHH!

LITTLE GUY!!!!!!!!!!?? YOU SWAG TOO HARD. I CAN'T DO THIS AYMORE. His pure and beautiful whimsy... He's so happy to be running... Like a gazelle.

YAAH AH AH!! Anyone? And who're you? We're prisoners… Get us out of here, I beg you. D'you know a rogue and his bow meow brother?

Y'know, this page does haunt me a little. Because he's so, so informal here — and kind of insane too. HE BRINGS OVER A STOOL TO TALK TO TWO PEOPLE ACTIVELY BLEEDING OUT, JUST TO TALK TO THEM WHILE MAKING EYE CONTACT. After that, no vous/vous for them, and when they ask for help, he's like "yeah no, first tell me — do you know that guy who wronged me?"

I'm obsessed with him.

Do I know them? Of course, I know them. You could even say I'm here because of them. They talked about Ush, that's why I came. You get us out of here, and we'll help you find them. Oki-doki... cross my heart! But you'll have to find the key to open it. A key? To close things it might be necessary, yes, but not to open. You're small but mighty, I say!

While I think Joris is a good person and would have helped them even if they knew nothing, I do think that asking about Remington before he freed them was a way of subtly suggesting they help him in return.

Love the way he says "oki-doki"... this 600yo man and his multitudes...

Also, Joris can bend metal. Now imagine him chained up and just... casually breaking the chains, once he's done pretending to be trapped. No wonder Ush needed dragon slobber to restrain him.

He's a bit shaken up, but he should be fine… Stop that… I'm going to puke.

Beautiful.

This reaction Ush has to this huge-ass thing goes out to the Ush fans among my readers.

[luna-eclipse2000]

How I met your mother Armin x reader, modern AU

*Based off an episode of Criminal Minds where Spencer Reid has to have a normal conversation with someone, causing him to meet a girl in a park

——————————————————————————

Armin POV

“Daddy!” I hear my children call out to me as they run into my office. I put my pen down and swivel in my seat onto have two blond heads of hair jump up, and sit on my lap. “Ok, ok!” I say with a laugh. “Did you make mommy mad?”

“No.” (s/n) says with a shake of his head, causing his hair to move across his forehead. He looks exactly like me from when I was a child, and (s/n) has her mother’s (e/c) eyes. “But we wanna know how you met her!” (d/n) tells me. “You want to know how we met?” I ask surprised. “You won’t find it yucky?”

“Nuh-uh!” They respond in unison. “Alright, but I’m holding your word to it.” I tells them.

~~~

“Armin,” My best friend, Eren, says my name from my doorway. “Do you want to come to the lakeshore with Mikasa and I?

“I have to study for my European geography test.” I answer him from my desk, slumped over my review sheets. “Yeesh, dude. There’s so many mugs in this room, we might get a weather network coming to take a reading soon.” Eren says as he looks around my room.

I have sticky notes of various colours and sizes absolutely everywhere, text books piled high, and over five mugs of coffee- some hot, some cold, and some finished. Mikasa, Eren and I are roommates for college, deciding that renting an apartment would be better for us than on-campus residence.

“Alright, buddy.” Eren says as I hear him enter my room. “C’mon, let’s go.” I feel him start to wheel my chair out of my room. “You need to get out of this room for more than coffee and a piss.”

“Eren! This test is important!” I inform him as we head down the hall. “If I fail, I could lose my chance at being a geography professor!”

“You’ll ace this test just like every other one you’ve ever had in your life. Don’t stress yourself out.” Eren tells me as we stop in the living room. I sigh in defeat, knowing that that fact is correct. “Armin, get changed.” Mikasa orders. “You look horrible.”

“Fine. I’ll be right back.” I say and head back to my room. “If you’re not out in five minutes, I’m coming to get you!” Eren calls after me. I get out my blue sweater, jeans, white button up and socks. I then head into the washroom and cringe at my unhygienic look. “When was the last time I brushed my hair? My teeth?” I ask myself as I apply toothpaste to my toothbrush and start to scrub.

I then brush out my messy hair, and clean my glasses. I then head back to the living room to put my shoes on so we can leave.

~~~

We’ve been out for about an hour and I’m already itching to get back home. “Are we almost ready to go?” I ask my friends. “For the last time, Armin, no.” Mikasa deadpans. “You need to let loose, man.” Eren says. “Maybe you need to... you know...”

He moves his hands to try and emphasize what he’s saying but I don’t understand at all. “Become a mime?” I ask slowly. “No! A girlfriend!” Eren finally spits it out. “Eren, no way!” I disagree. “I’m way too socially awkward to even talk to a girl! Besides, must I remind you about my last date? Grade 11, Marley’s Diner, Annie Leonhart?”

“Oh, right, she threw that milkshake on you and called you a mop-headed idiot.” Eren remembers. “But that was four years ago, Armin.” Mikasa reminds me. “You don’t have any friends outside of me and Eren, so you stay inside and study to deal with your crippling loneliness.”

“I would’ve probably gone softer but, yeah.” Eren agrees and I pout. “So, here’s what’s gonna happen.” Eren starts. “You’re going to stay outside for six hours, I’ll have a timer going, and you’re going to try and have a conversation with a stranger. Have it in the Starbucks line as you wait for your drink, go to a bookstore and talk to someone about how good the one they picked up is, I don’t really care. Just have a conversation.”

“And if you don’t, I’m going to beat your ass.” Mikasa promises. I nod in acceptance because I know she’ll drop me like a hot potato. You don’t become a self-defence instructor for nothing. “Great! See you at 5!” Eren says and walks away with Mikasa as he puts his phone in his back pocket after setting the timer. I just stand there awkwardly for a few seconds before walking towards the street.

“There’s a good bookstore down the street. I’ll just go hang out there for a bit.” I say to myself as I start to walk towards it. “Oh, damnit all!” I hear someone shout. The tone of the voice causes me to search it out and I see a young woman with (h/l) (h/c) hair walk into the sidewalk. “Of course it decided to break down. Can’t have one nice day, can I?”

I feel bad for her so I decide to see if I can help. “Uh... is everything alright?”

She looks at me with the brightest (e/c) eyes and prettiest face I’ve ever seen. “Oh, no.” She dismisses kindly with frustration lacing her voice. “My car decided to break down and I don’t live signing walking distance. Thank you, though.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I apologize. “It’s not your fault, this old fucker was about ready to expire for the past year or so. I just don’t want to pay the towing fee.” She says. “I’m absolutely drowning in student loans.”

I see hear start to tear up a bit as she starts to get a bit overwhelmed. “Hey, hey, hey. Look at me.” I tell the girl softly and she does. “Take some deep breaths, just like me. Watch me.”

I take a deep breath in and then slowly release it. She copies what I do. “There we go. How about you go do something relaxing to get your mind off this for a while?” I suggest. She nods. “Did you want to join me?” She asks me in such a cute voice that I can’t respond. “If you’re not doing anything, of course! You just... seemed to be by yourself, too.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. My friends ditched me because they want me to get out and meet people because I’ve got crippling loneliness’.” I say the last part dramatically. She giggles at me. “Then let’s be lonely together! I’m (y/n).”

“Armin. It’s nice to meet you.” I say and then we start to walk away from the car. “So, where did you want to go?”

“Well, I’m a bit hungry. There’s a nice bistro down the street next to a cute little bookstore. Wanna have some lunch?” (Y/n) asks me. I nod my head, so we head towards the bistro in a comfortable silence. Once we get a table, I decide to ask her something. “You mentioned student loans, so you’re in college, right? What for?”

“Oh, I’m in for (dream job). I go to Paradis College.” She informs me. “No way! That’s where I go to school! (“Really? That’s so cool! What for?”) Geography. I want to be a professor for it at a private school my parents taught at. I was going to go into history, since I love it, but then I decided on geography because I love it more. I originally wanted to be a history director at a museum on the Titan Era.” I tell her. “Oh, wow! I could never pay attention to that unit I’m high school, I was too scared.” She admits with an embarrassed blush. “Cute.”

“At first, I was the same. It was such a nerve wracking time for humanity. But then I remembered that there were people who swallowed their fear and actually faced the titans.” I say. “True, yeah. Isn’t it funny?” (F/n) asks me rhetorically. “We’ve only known each other an hour at this point, yet we’re talking like old friends.”

I give an airy laugh and nod at her true statement.

~~~

We end up hanging out for the whole six hours that I was bound to the outside world. But I didn’t want to let her go yet, not meaning to sound creepy. “Guess I better call for a tow truck now.” She says as we make it back to her car. I nod and watch her pull out her phone. “Alright, Armin, think! Use that high IQ of yours and think of a way to see her again!... Just ask for her number, idiot!” I come up with my plan as she hangs up her phone. “Goddamnit. (“What’s wrong?”) They say that I can’t ride with them to the auto shop.” She tells me as she runs a hand through her hair. “Well, I can drive you home once they get here.” I offer. “You’re so sweet, Armin. Thank you.” She thanks me. “It’s no problem. I like hanging out with you.” I admit shyly. “So, uh, can I have your number? So we can talk more?”

“Of course! Here.” She hands over her phone to me. “You put yours in mine and I’ll put mine in yours.”

I take her phone and then unlock mine before handing it over to her. “There we go.” I say to myself as I save it and hand hers back. Right as we finish, the truck comes and tows (y/n) car away. “Thank you!” She calls after them. It’s then that I remember that I don’t have a car. “Oh, shit. I, uh... I just remembered that I don’t have a car with me...”

(Y/n) starts to laugh at the situation, and I find myself doing the same. “I’ll call us a cab.” I say through fits of laughter. She nods and wipes tears away from her eyes.

~~~

We get into the cab and make it to her house rather quickly. “Well, I’ll see you some other time, Armin.” (Y/n) says. “Let me get the door for you.” I offer as I leave my side and open her door. “You’re such a gentleman.” (Y/n) says as she exits the car. I take a breath as I come up with a last second effort to get to stay with her longer. “Then would you consider joining me for dinner tonight? I’ll have my car so there won’t be won’t be a cab pulling up.” I ask. She gives me that beautiful smile of here that I’ve melted over every time she’s done it. “What time will you be here and what should I wear?”

On the outside, I’m slightly giddy with excitement, but on the inside I’m celebrating the hell out of this moment. “Does 6:30 work? (“Mhm.”) Want to go to Braus’ Kitchen? The owner’s an old friend of mine, but my roommates see her fairly often.” I suggest. “Then I’ll see you at 6:30, Armin.” (Y/n) tells me and then kisses my cheek before heading into her apartment building.

~~~

“And that’s how I met your mother.” I finish telling them the story. They look in awe at it which causes me to giggle. “Armin! Baby!” I hear (y/n) call from the living room. “Yes, sweetie?” I respond. “No! The baby!” (Y/n) restates. “The baby?” I ask quietly before realizing. “THE BABY! OOOOH KAY! Ok!”

I take the kids off my lap. “I’m gonna call Uncle Mikasa and Aunt Eren- I mean, Uncle Eren and Aunt Mikasa to watch you as I take mommy to go have your new baby sister, ok?” I tell them and then bolt out of my office to get the hospital bag from the master bathroom while calling Eren to watch the kids.

[bramblie]

Amai x Shoku fanfic

I translated a part of my fanfic for you poor non-Russian speaking shippers to read.

Rated T for a k*ss, 100% Fluff

BIG GIANT THANKS TO @sakis-sweets​​ FOR EDITING

Recently, his soft voice had begun to sound deeper in her head. The way he leaned over to her to ask for advice, his habit of smoothing out that one lock of hair that never laid flat when he's deep in thought, his dimples, created by a natural smile - all of it seemed somewhat brighter, like they were important moments.

Every now and then Amai recalled the feeling of his coarse and thick hair between her fingers from that time she pretended there was a crumb stuck in it. Perhaps, this urge to touch Shoku was born from the devastation of losing Yamada-senpai.

Aishi-san gracefully pushed the right buttons, convincing Amai that "giving" Yamada-senpai to her was a fair price for her help. "Giving"... it hurt Amai's ears to think of him as an object like that. After that, Aishi-san had stopped greeting her, let alone talking to her or asking to spend time together. Amai didn't realise her good will had been taken advantage of until it was too late. Yamada-senpai looked happy with her, and he didn’t evoke any flutter in Amai's chest anymore. Tsuburaya-senpai, on the other hand…

Even pronouncing his last name in her mind was kind of embarrassing. After his name, his facial features came to mind, as well as his thin, long palms and quiet giggles...

"What’s on your mind, Odayaka-san?"

"Oh! Oh, nothing. More precisely, this problem.”

It was hard to focus on numbers when a handsome guy was baking amazing dishes a few meters away. Other members of the Cooking Club had already gone to share their food. Shoku achieved excellent results, but cooked slowly and had a habit of leaving varying degrees of mess. Amai had decided not to cook today and study for an upcoming algebra test instead. Club members periodically came to her for advice - inequalities were hard to grasp - and she couldn’t help but constantly raise her eyes to Shoku. In short, not the best conditions for studying. Shoku washed his hands, leaving bowls and measuring cups on the table. Amai would have immediately reminded him of it if he hadn’t sat next to her. Was she delirious or was he actually emanating with warmth? He looked in a problem book and slightly nodded to himself. What a beautiful profile...

"Hm, I think I remember this. Look..."

He took out a pencil and began to solve the problem, explaining the method along the way. Amai tried not to look in his eyes and focus on what was being written but she kept noticing his glances at her with her peripheral vision. Did that mean something? No, it seemed like Shoku was just estimating if she understood the solution or not. He put the pencil back.

"You’re so smart, senpai!"

"Haha, don’t mention it. Try it yourself now."

Amai read the next problem. It seemed completely different. She took a pencil in bewilderment, hoping for comprehension to strike as she began to write. It didn’t strike. She shot a glance at Shoku and he made eye contact with her. And then he let out a small laugh. The pencil reappeared in his fingers and he started explaining that the formula would be the same, but instead of integer values, there were fractions. After three indents «х ≥ а-b/3» was written. Shoku giggled once more when Amai stared at the notebook and shook her head.

"Maybe you should take a break? The cupcakes are almost done; I can make tea for them."

Amai needed to distract herself from all of these «x≥» and «a±b», so she volunteered to make tea herself. Amai recalled that Shoku liked black tea with ginger and two tablespoons of sugar. She put a spoonful of honey and a slice of lemon in her own mug. Shoku’s cupcakes seemed to be made with orange peels, so the combination would be excellent. Amai looked at Shoku and realized he was looking at her, resting his chin on his hand. Maybe not even looking, more like observing… She brought mugs, looking down at them as if she was afraid of being caught in eye contact again.

"Thank you, Odayaka-san."

"The pleasure is mine, senpai. Judging by the timer, the cupcakes would be ready in five minutes."

"Wonderful, just in time for the tea to cool down."

Shoku brought the mug under his nose to check the aroma and lightly nodded. He knew that Amai knew his favourite kind of tea, so what was the point of being surprised and thanking her each time? She felt his gaze on her face again. Damn it, why did it take only one glance for him to make her head spin and her chest burn, but it seemed she couldn’t make him blush even if she would grab his collar, draw him to herself and- Oh, what the hell!

"Odayaka-san, how’re you doing lately?"

"U-Um, everything is fine. Except for upcoming exams, of course."

"Is it fine in the bakery too?"

"Of course! Business goes smoothly."

"What about your private life?"

"U-Um, mhm, uh, w-what? W-What do you mean?"

Shoku ran his finger along the rim of the mug and took it away as it started to burn.

"Lately you seem... how should I say it… melancholic."

"Oh."

"You were in a similar state a couple of months ago when you fell in love with my classmate. You couldn’t focus and lowered your head just like that. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that you… Ahem, yeah."

Amai hadn’t been aware of that at all. Yamada-senpai had haunted her thoughts as well, but did he cause such inner trembling like Shoku? Are the excitements in her heart that noticeable?

"I don’t even know what to say… F-fine, yes, I guess, yes, I admit, I’m lost in all these thoughts. But don’t worry, I will return back to normal soon!"

 Shoku took his mug, made a little sip and whispered something above the surface of a drink. 

 "I didn’t hear you."

Shoku whispered a little louder, and Amai barely made out his words from his breath.

"Who is it?"

It’s you. Come on, say it. It’s you. A split second will pass soon. It’s so hard to breathe. It’s you.

"I can’t tell."

I’m afraid to tell. It wasn’t Friday, and they were not under the cherry tree behind the school; she couldn’t confess. Amai at least knew she wouldn’t be rejected under the cherry tree. She could soothe herself as much as she wanted with thoughts of all his glances and gestures, but it was not enough for full confidence. Her bravery was limited to “accidental” touches and compliments to his dishes. Shoku sipped his tea again and looked at the window overlooking the corridor.

"Well, I wish you good luck."

 Amai grabbed the chance to gaze at him. So many times now, she couldn’t lift her head because he had looked at her. He was so unbearably close all this time. Thick brown hair, folds on his shirt, emphasizing the thinness of his arms, long neck… Amai noticed a flour stain on his neck. He must’ve scratched it with floury hands, washed them, and forgotten about his neck… The urge appeared, and didn’t leave any seconds for hesitation. 

 Shoku jerked his head towards Amai. She held her gaze with all her might on her fingers that were stroking, that is to say wiping his neck. Still, she gave up in his trap. She needed to explain he had a stain there. She needed to, but… Those half-closed eyelids… Cheeks, covered with pink… Lips, opened in silent question… It seemed like Amai forgot her words. Shoku too, apparently, because instead of asking any questions he tilted his head.

 It seemed like Amai had forgotten what she was doing. With her thumb, she slid under his jaw line and slowly ran it along his neck. Shoku closed his mouth with the back of his hand and looked out the window again to make sure no one could see them. Amai ran her palm up his neck and felt the texture of his hair. Yes, memories can’t be compared to an ongoing feeling. Her fingers were lightly playing with small strands while her palm kept stroking his neck.

 Shoku suddenly straightened up. Amai was in such trance, she forgot about the eye contact, so he caught her with her guard down. She immediately seemed to sober up. What was happening right now? Why did she stroke his neck? Why did he hold her hand in place when she tried to pull it away? Why did Shoku’s face become closer?

 Amai felt an exhale on her lips. She exhaled too, and the hot air between her and Shoku caused such a strong pressure in her chest she squeezed her shirt. And then there was a touch. Soft and hot, with a taste of ginger which made Amai squeak. Or was it something else? Shoku gently nipped her bottom lip a few times and breathed out without breaking contact. But, after slowly moving away, he stood up.

 Amai opened her eyes. Shoku went to the kitchen and behind the partition she heard the sound of him opening the oven.

“The cupcakes are ready.”

Five minutes had passed.

[marveloussupernerd]

GURL YES IT WAS ON TV LAST NIGHT AND THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS LIKE JUMIN AND MC JUMIN AND MC!!! But yes I came from a YOI imagines blog who recommended you and I’m glad I came! But seriously take your time with it and do NOT be afraid to SHATTER MY HEART MERCILESSLY. Honestly I think we are living the same life in different places! Have a great week my friend!

money can’t buy happiness - Jumin Han

The original request:

Warnings: angst

Summary: dating Jumin Han meant constantly being in the spotlight. However, the press had a vendetta against you. At what point does your sanity take priority over your love towards Jumin? Will almost definitely get a happy pt 2 resolution if someone asks for it bc writing angst makes me sad lmaoo

[support me :)]

You were taking a shower. It was getting late and Jumin wasn’t home yet. The two of you had been dating for about four months and he asked you to move in with him. With you being in the public eye so much, he felt better knowing his security team could keep an eye on you.

You heard a knock on the bathroom door. It opened then shut. “I’m home, My Love. Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

You opened the shower door and leaned over to give him a peck on the lips, then focused back to your shower.

“You mind if I join you?” He asked, pulling his tie to loosen it.

“I... uh-“ you had been sort of self-conscious about your appearance lately. The media didn’t help; they were always reporting on how you looked. You didn’t let Jumin know. You knew it’d only worry him. “Okay. If you want.”

He deftly undid the buttons of his shirt and got undressed, slipping into the shower with you. He wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered, pushing a damp strand of hair out of your face. “You want help washing up?” He had a goofy grin on his face, hand settling on your hip.

“I... I’m not feeling really good about myself... and my body image today,” you confessed, staring at the water droplets on the shower wall.

“I wish you wouldn’t read those news articles. They’re horrible.” He carefully turned you in his arms so you were facing him. “You know I think you’re the most beautiful person in the world.”

“‘Jumin Han’s partner is gaining weight. Could a child be on the way?’” You quoted the article, word-for-word. It was etched into your memory. “I just was popping my hip out to the side. I don’t know. I thought I was being trendy. But they thought I was pregnant?!”

“Don’t listen to a thing they say.”

“I kind of look pregnant though. I need to lose some weight.” You bent over and got some shampoo, massaging the soap into his hair.

His eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. “You look perfect. That feels nice.”

“I just hate how they talk about anything and everything. You have a meeting with a woman? You’re cheating on me. I’m carrying a different purse? I’m a gold digger. I put all my weight on one foot, heaven forbid, and all of a sudden I’m pregnant.” You clapped your hands together, soap spraying against the shower door. “It just sucks.”

“I’m sorry.” He grabbed some conditioner to return the favor. “I got you some more flowers. I know it won’t make up for it all, but I thought they were nice.”

“Mhm. That is nice.”

“Let’s go out for dinner tonight too,” he offered.

“Last thing I need is more people thinking I’m eating too much.”

He pouted. “You’ve gotta eat somehow though.” The two of you stood under the stream of the shower. “I’ll get us a private room? At your favorite place too.”

You sighed. “It’s late Jumin. Don’t make more work for Jaehee.”

“I’ll do it myself then.” He stooped down to kiss your cheek. “Anything for you.”

The two of you got out of the shower and wrapped up in your towels and Jumin wasted no time calling the restaurant. “Hi!” He sounded overly excited. You laughed. “Oh... yes I can hold.”

“This is what it’s like to be a commoner,” you chuckled, pulling out a clean dress shirt for him to wear. Powder blue. He wore too many pinstripes. You really liked the way the color looked on him. You had a dress in the same color. He bought it for you when you bought him that shirt for his birthday; he thought it was cute when you’d match.

“Yes. No problem. This is Jumin Han... Oh! No worries. I was just hoping I could book a private room for a half hour from now,” he was so cute and flustered on the phone. He likely had never done this before. “Yes, that’d be great. Thank you.”

He hung up the phone and you laughed, giving him a hug. “You’re so freaking cute,” you uttered, your towel slipping down your body from the eagerness of the embrace. You pulled back. “I picked out some clothes for us, if you like ‘em.”

He glanced over at the clothes you had hung up and nodded. “Perfect. You’ll look so beautiful in that.” He walked over and grabbed his clothes, taking them off the hanger and starting to dress.

“Don’t forget to call Driver Kim,” you reminded him, picking out a pair of shoes.

“I texted him already. No worries.”

You turned to grin at him and he was already half-dressed. You couldn’t tear your eyes away as he buttoned up the shirt, hiding more and more of his perfect figure. He paused on the top button. “You’re staring.”

“I can’t help it. You’re just so handsome,” you giggled, walking towards him and helping him with the top button. “Will you zip up my dress for me?” You turned your back towards him. He complied, zipping you up.

“Tie or no tie?” He asked, glancing at his reflection in the mirror.

“No tie.” You replied confidently. He nodded, putting on his suit jacket to complete the look.

You glanced at both of your reflections in the mirror. You laughed out loud. “I just realized my hair is soaking wet.” You pulled a hand up to run through his hair. “Yours too.”

“Oops. Guess I didn’t think about that. Why don’t you wear it up then?” He pulled your damp hair off your neck and held it up so you could get an idea of how it’d look with the hair away from your face. “Looks nice to me.”

“Okay,” you smiled. You checked the time on your phone. “We’re going to be late,” you chuckled, sitting down to put your hair up.

He grabbed your shoes and kneeled next to you, helping you step into the heels. As you put Bobby pins in your hair to ensure it looked nice, he grabbed a nude lipstick off the counter and applied it to your lips. “We make such a good team,” he chuckled. You looked at your reflection, satisfied with how well Jumin did on your lipstick.

“Do I look presentable enough?”

“You look breathtaking. Come now,” he offered you his hand and you grabbed it. “Driver Kim is out front.”

You had made it to the restaurant in no time. The staff was extremely nice, taking you to your own private room where you could enjoy each other’s company in peace. The dinner was lovely, but there were some bumps along the way. The waitress served Jumin a glass of wine and you a glass of water. Pregnant women couldn’t drink, of course. You tried to explain you weren’t pregnant. Your eyes were watery and honestly you were extremely embarrassed; it was challenging to get out the words. Luckily, all it took was Jumin requesting to “get her a glass of wine, please,” with a hard look on his face to fix that problem.

Luckily, the food was great. It was your favorite restaurant, after all. Jumin even offered to get dessert. All you wanted was a brownie, but they didn’t have brownies. They made you a brownie. You felt like an inconvenience, but Jumin tipped significantly to reassure you that there was no problem. You asked the chef to come out and thanked them for a their flexibility.

“I can’t believe everyone reads those articles,” you whined when you got in the car. “She really thought I was pregnant.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why she’d think that. The media is... challenging.”

“They hate me. Not that it matters. But wow. The press really is not fond of me,” you confessed, playing with a strand of hair that had fallen from your updo.

“They hate everyone.”

“Your father hates me too.”

“He only hates you because he wanted to date you instead of me. He thinks you’re lovely,” he defended his father.

You sighed and leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’m tired.”

“You can shut your eyes. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He reassured you. You nuzzled into his shoulder to get more comfortable and shut your eyes.

You woke up to a clank sound. You sat up, startled. You were in bed? “Jumin,” you glanced at him, sunlight lighting his features. “Wow... I was pretty tired huh?”

“You were. It was adorable... but challenging... helping you get to bed.” He had the sweetest smile on his face. You realized you were in your pajamas. He had helped you get changed, taken off your makeup, and let your hair down, all while you were asleep?

“You’re the sweetest.” You glanced at the clock. He usually didn’t leave work for another hour, yet he was all dressed up already. “Come back to bed and lay with me?” You peeled the covers on his side of the bed down, offering him the spot.

“Wish I could, but I have an early meeting today.” He got down on his knee and gave you a kiss. “I made you pancakes though. Hopefully that’ll make up for it.” He stood back up, grabbing his watch and putting it on.

“I love you. Have a good day at work.” You smiled.

“Have a good day at home. I’ll try to be back as soon as I can, but I might be a little late. I’ll call you later.” He walked to the door to leave, but made his way back to you and kissed your lips once again. “Love you.” And with that, he was gone.

You opted to stay in bed with your pancakes for a while. What was shocking to you, though, was to see your name trending on Twitter. You sighed, opening the tag and bracing yourself for the worst. Gold Digger? Jumin Han’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Even Bother Dressing Up for her Nights Out, Endangering Baby, Sources Say. You groaned. You thought you looked okay. Jumin said you looked beautiful. You hadn’t even seen a camera, but there it was: another unflattering picture of you.

And at the top of the trending tag, a tweet from Sarah. “This girl is not only a home wrecker, ruining Jumin and I’s engagement, but an awful mother-to-be. She clearly only cares for herself.”

You hated this. All the replies were in support of her. Was that... no. Jumin’s father retweeted it too. A sob escaped your mouth. You’d never be good enough for him.

You were packing clothes in the suitcase before you even knew what you were doing. You didn’t know where you were going, but you were leaving. You left the dresses and gifts Jumin got you at the apartment; you were not a gold digger. You didn’t want anything to remind you of him; it’d hurt too bad.

You grabbed a piece of stationary off of the desk in the home office Jumin had installed. You pulled out a pen and began writing. You couldn’t abandon him with nothing. Your heart wouldn’t let you.

Jumin,

I’m sorry. I was never the girl your father wanted me to be. Never the girl the press thought you deserved. I was always kidding myself by thinking I was the right fit for you.

You’ve been raised in the spotlight your whole life. You’re brave and confident and never let anything get to you. I, on the other hand, am sensitive, fragile, and unrefined. I can’t stand in the spotlight; I’ve messed up a million times and I would just keep messing up if I let myself.

It’s not so much that the media has gotten to me; that everyone has turned against me and sided with Sarah... even your father. It’s that I know this will never stop. There will always be problems with me around. You will never have a moment of peace with me. You’ll never be able to walk into a room with me without hearing the whispers. I notice them everywhere I go.

That’s why I have to leave. For you. For your company. And because I’m not strong enough. I’m not who you thought so highly of; I’m an imposter. I could never succeed in your world.

Don’t come looking for me. I don’t even know where I’m going, I just know I need to get away. Get married to Sarah, or someone else refined and beautiful and polite. You deserve the perfect woman who society loves and who knows exactly what to do. That’s not me. It never will be.

I love you, and I wish you only the best.

You were sobbing. There was no point in signing your name. The teardrops littered all over the paper were signature enough. You dropped the note on the bed, grabbed the suitcase, and headed to the door. You were in leggings and a hoodie, sunglasses obstructing most of your face. The last thing you needed was to draw more attention to yourself.

You took a taxi to the airport. You paid for everything with your own money. You left the credit card Jumin had given you at home. You didn’t need to take anything from him. You went to the front desk and booked the cheapest flight as far away as possible. You had always wanted to go to Orlando, you figured. Maybe you could go to Disney World and spend the day sobbing at the happiest place on earth.

You checked your suitcase, went through security, got a drink from Starbucks, and settled down at the gate, waiting for your flight. You cried openly at the airport. Who cared at this point? You couldn’t eat. The only thing giving you any sustenance being the drink in front of you. Eventually they called your boarding group.

You weren’t in first-class, like you usually were with Jumin. No, you were in a cramped row of three at the back of the plane. It was refreshing. You were leaving your old life behind. You glanced out the window as you walked towards your seat. Goodbye Jumin. Goodbye RFA. You should have called Seven and told him. Told him not to track you down at the very least. You’d have to purchase a new phone. You were going to start completely anew. You sniffled, but kept walking down the aisle to your seat, each step feeling like purgatory as you felt the distance from Jumin increase.

[animestans]

Hi guys! So since its the 14th, I decided on doing a small scenario thing 🥰 If you have any suggestions on how to improve, please tell me! Hope you enjoy it 😂✨

Disclaimer: I know I don't own you, and I don't own BNHA 😂

BNHA - Valentine's Day

(TW - some have slight swearing)

Bakugo💥

"Ugh, why would anyone do that shit? It's all lovey dovey crap. That and a waste of money." Boom boy gave you a glare as he shoved his books down on the table. He'd just been about to study with you when you'd asked such an important thing.

"Fine." You shrug, giving a smile as you pull your phone from your pocket. "I'm sure if you don't want to spend the day with me, someone else will."

He doesn't reply as he takes out some more supplies with a huff. Pretending as though he didn't hear that last sentence of yours.

"We going to study or what? You're the one that wants my help on this."

Ignoring him, you just sit and tap at your phone. Then place it down on his desk. "Fine, what we starting with?"

Glad that you dropped the whole "Valentine" idea, he starts to go over what was taught, making you write down key points.

Not long after you'd messaged, you get a text. Then another, then another.

"Turn ya damn phone off if it's going to keep blowing up."

"Oh, it's just people responding!" Giving a sly grin, you pick up the phone as someone starts to call, putting it on speaker. "Hey Mineta!"

That boy. Normally, neither of you gave him the light of day, but you decided to mess around for a bit. If Bakugo didn't want to take you anywhere, you'd find someone who would.

The glare sent your way almost made you laugh.

"Hey! You want to be my Valentine righ-"

Creepy grape boy couldn't even finish his sentence, before Bakugo grabbed your cell and ended the call.

"Fine. Fine, I'll do what you want." He shoved all of the books aside. "Just tell me where you wanna go."

Shoto 🔥

"I'm not quite sure I understand, Y/n." He was in bed, hair disheveled and voice soft as he had a blank look on his face.

Sighing a little, you move to kneel near him. "You've not heard of it?" You couldn't help the small frown appearing. True, his family was a little dysfunctional, but there was still a slight expectancy of sorts that he knew what it was.

"No." He sat up, giving a simple answer as he moved out of bed to sit down beside you. "Can you tell me?"

"It's just a day for couples, really. That's all."

"A day for couples?" The confusion was still there.

"Mhm," you hum and stand, grabbing your jacket off his chair. "We can just chill together. It's just a day where you just express how much you care about someone."

He gave a little smile. "Sounds nice. Of course I'll be your valentines." Getting up himself, resorting his hair and then spinning a card. "What do you want to do first?"

"Cinema?" You ask as you follow him out his room and down the steps, grinning.

"Ladies first." He stated calmly, letting you out the door, closing it quietly. Whilst you were babbling on about the films that were just being released, he just listened.

He'd found his person, and he was more than looking forward to the valentines that would hopefully follow.

Shinsou 🗯

Class was shit, to say the least. The entire of 1A didn't really seem to want to listen to the sub. Aizawa being on some Hero's mission.

Bakugo's lot were just chatting loudly, with Mina making them all laugh by spouting silly facts.

You'd researched as much as you could, going out of your way to buy expensive chocolates just for a certain purple haired male.

Apparently, it was customary to give chocolate to the guy you liked in Japan. You hoped google hadn't given you the wrong information, maki your way to 1B with ease. The teacher was trying to subdue the rowdy ones of the class.

It took a little while of walking through the school to finally find him. In the corner of the library.

Bounding over - as quietly as possible, of course - you sat directly infront of him. "So, how's you?"

"I'm fine, y/n. Yourself?"

"Good!" Giving a happy nod, and pulling out the chocolates from your bag. "I got you these? I did some research and it said if you want to-"

"Thank you." His calm tone stopped your small tirade, and he lightly took the chocolates.

"Was google right? Did I do it rig-"

"Yes." He snickered, looking up and directly at you. "It was right. But I'm surprised you'd choose me."

"Sod what other people think. You're not a villain, and ya nice, so..." the shrug you offered made him smile.

Although quiet about it, it meant more to him than you realised. It was nice to have someone on his side.

Denki ⚡️

"It's Valentines!" You yelp as you shot out of bed, getting ready for the day. Having slept in most of the morning, you wanted to make the most out of the rest of the day.

Immediately calling your favourite person. "Hey Sparky, Wanna meet up? That is, if ya have nothing on, today."

"Sure thing, whatcha wanna do?" The immediate reply made you smile a little.

"To be honest, I dunno."

"Wanna come round mine?" You could picture him wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"We could meet at the park?"

"Aight, what time?"

"Just after lunch? So about 1?" You check your watch. More than enough time to beg your mum for more cash.

"Sure! Meet you near the apple tree!" He ended the call, and you run downstairs.

After what felt like hours and hours of trying to bargain with your parents, they finally gave you some more money. It was nearly one, by the time your speech was over - so you ran the entire way to the park.

"Ya here, finally!" Denki waved as you slowed your running to a fast paced walk.

"Yeah, sorry, had to get my parents approval."

He rolled his eyes for you. "Strict parents, eh?" Pulling you down to sit beside him. "We could make out here and no one would know!" He cheekily stated, moving closer.

"You're such a flirt!" You laugh, used to his ways and shaking your head slightly.

"Oh come on, it is Valentine's day..." he pouted, looking like some sad puppy.

Laughing, you give him a chaste kiss. "Fine, will you be my Valentine, Denki?"

Unexpecting your response to his comment, sparks flew from his hands. He put his thumbs up grinning. "Perfect! Sounds perfect!"

Izuku 🥬

It didn't take long to walk to his house. You rang the doorbell, hiding the present behind your back.

Inko answered, giving a soft smile. "Ah, it's nice to see you, Y/n, come on in."

"Thanks!" You step inside, shivering from the cold a little. It was February, snowing, icy, and a little treacherous. You'd almost fallen and broken his gift about 3 times!

Taking your shoes off, you look to Deku's mum. "Is he in?"

"Oh, yes he's upstairs! You know how clumsy he is, I can't have him training in the ice and snow." She chuckled and walked to the lounge, as you went up to his room, knocking.

"Deku, it's me, can I come in?"

He spluttered, putting his comic down. "Sure!"

Opening the door, you leant - carefully - against the wall.

"Do ya know what the day is?"

"The fourteenth, why?" Deku glanced at you, unsure of why you were even at his house. He knew it was at least a twenty minute walk, and it was not the nicest of weather outside.

"Of February, it's the fourteenth of February." You emphasised, waiting for it to click.

You knew it did when he started spluttering.

Then you continued to speak, smiling. "Can you be my Valentines?"

He stared, suddenly going for quiet for a second. Shock obvious. "Me? You want me? To be your-"

"Yes, of course! Also, I got ya something!" You removed your hands from your back showing him the latest All Might figure. "Managed to get it today, last minute!"

He slowly took it from you, placing it on his little counter full of All Might figurines, eyes wide. "Thank you y/n!"

"No problem, anyway, what's ya answer?" You asked, not as patient as normal.

"Uh..yes!" His eyes sparkled as he pulled you closer, into a hug. "I'd love to!"

"How about a snowball fight?" You grin, getting out of his hold and running downstairs, him following almost immediately.

Mina 💓

Jumping up and down with excitement, whilst trying to get ready at the same time, was not the easiest thing to do.

Mina had accepted you to be her Valentines, and it was finally the day.

Once ready, you quickly sprint to hers.

"Ya ready Mina?" You call, knowing her window is open.

She grins and engulfs you into a hug the moment she steps outside. "Of course I am. Ready to go shopping?!"

"Of course!" Nodding, you show you're purse. "I'm well prepared!"

Perusing the streets, not a care in the world, you two buy all sorts of things. Clothes that you're probably not going to even wear, along with some nice jewellery...which you have no idea when you'll wear it. Shoes - you don't buy as many as Mina, though.

It was a chilled event, the weather wasn't too cold, even for a February day, which was nice. Spring felt like it was well and truely on its way.

"How about we grab some lunch?" She gave a laugh and stood up from the seats - you two taking a break from the shopping frenzy.

"Sure, l'm guessing you know the best places here?" Grabbing your purse, and your copious amounts of bags, you walk beside her, grinning ear to ear.

"Someone's happy!" She exclaimed as the two of you take your seats at a cozy cafe.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Good point!" She smiles, going up to order and pay as soon as the both of you decide what to eat. Handing you the biggest muffin you've ever seen. "They only had one left."

"Lucky me then!" You immediately start on it, chatting to her in between. Although not alot was happening, and it was almost like any other weekend day, it didn't matter. You just wanted her company.

And all she wanted, was you to be happy.

Kirishima 🪨

Groaning, you flop out of bed. At least there were no classes. It was, however, 6 in the morning, and you knew that once you were up, it was unlikely you'd fall back to sleep.

So, since you were up, you decided you may aswell find something to watch. Bingewatching Netflix was the only thing you really wanted to do when you had cramps from hell and a headache that wouldn't damn leave.

Four or so hours passed of you being zombie like, in a weird position to stop the cramps. Your phone buzzed and you glanced at the sweet "good morning" text. He always sent you, no matter what. It was like you were the first thing he thought of when he woke up.

You immediately replied with a morning text yourself, before seeing another message pop up.

"It's Valentines day. Want to do anything?"

Damn.

You'd completely forgot. You hadn't got him anything, and you didn't want to disappoint.

Even though your body protested the entire time, you were quick to get ready, turn the tv off, and sort your messy hair.

Unsure of how to reply, you simply don't, racing to the nearest corner shop, and buying his favourite sweets.

Once you were sure you'd got things he liked, a groan somehow made its way out of your mouth as you replied.

He asked for you to come to his, so that's what you did. It only took about 10 minutes to get to his, knocking on the door faintly and presenting your gifts.

"Aww babe you didn't have to!" He gave a sweet smile, taking the treats.

"Couldn't turn up with nothing, that'd be unfair."

Kirishima was quiet for a moment, before bringing you inside. "How about a disney movie day? Fort and all? Along with snacks?"

You didn't even have to say anything, but he knew when you weren't feeling your best.

"That sounds great." You nod. "I'll get the snac-"

"You'll turn the tv on and pick a film, I'll sort the rest out." He had to be seen as manly, of course. And it seemed to him, to be the right thing to do.

Deciding not to argue, you make your way over to his bedroom, sitting down and grabbing the remote.

Within ten minutes, he had the blankets, the pillows, he'd got the snacks ready, in perfect reach for the both of you - which was always handy, and hot water bottle just to your left.

Then, he was quick to sort out the fort, before pulling you close so you were more or less in between his legs.

"Play the film then!" He started braiding your hair - like he always did when you were coming down with something.

He didn't need to ask, he just needed to help. Which he did extremely well, as during the day, you slowly started to forget about your cramps and backpain, enjoying the quiet night in.

[calliope-love-corner]

Extention of the Self

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Oh, no way, the little guys I don't mind at all!" I smile. "They're pretty cute, actually! I mean, I was pretty scared of basically every spider when I was a kid, but the little jumpy dudes have sorta grown on me, yknow?"

Annabelle sits next to me on the park bench, legs crossed to face towards me. She rested one arm on the back of the seat and looked at me as if she were hanging on every word.

"That's certainly encouraging to hear seeing as I am all but literally made of spiders." She joked. I smile.

"That's true, isn't it? In that one statement-" I cut myself off. She raises an eyebrow. "God, maybe I shouldn't say? I dunno, would you find it rude if I repeated what they wrote?"

"Oh, please. It can't be anything I don't already know about myself." She rolled her eyes, which had multiplied to two sets of two since we left the restaurant a half hour ago. Appearances were important, after all, and odd looks and questions sounded like a lot to deal with while you're trying to go on a date.

I shrug. "God, yeah, the guy wrote that he looked in your head while you were passed out and all cracked open and it was just /webs./ no brain or anything."

Annabelle laughed. "Well I suppose that's still half accurate. I sort of ditched all of the important head organs, but it's not just wisps of cobweb up there anymore." She adjusted her hair and tilted her head to the side to show the silvery-white mass that stretched across the hole in her skull. I lean in to look, but can't see much past the thickly woven and almost silken material. I raise my eyebrows curiously.

"Oh christ, don't tell me you have, like, a bunch of fucking spiders living up there now. I dunno if I could handle that."

Annabelle pursed her lips and looked away, an awkward indication that I'd gotten it right. My jaw dropped.

"Something like that, unfortunately."

"That is actually terrifying!!" I exclaim. She laughs.

"That's... sort of the point, dear."

I blink. "Ah. Right."

Annabelle rolls her eyes affectionately.

"So... can I see?" I ask cautiously, feeling a sense of morbid curiosity. She doesn't exactly seem surprised at the request, but takes a moment to think about it to herself first, mulling it over in her head.

"Maybe. Can I try something first?"

"Depends. What did you have in mind?"

"You said you didn't mind jumping spiders..?"

"Not the little ones- too big and the jumping and speed and all that sort of freaks me out."

She pauses to think for a second, biting her thumbnail absentmindedly. "Alright," she finally says. I nearly lean in a little more, curious what she had to say. "Hold out your hand."

"Oh." I feel my stomach lurch. She wants me to hold one. Shit, I think on instinct, because spiders have never ever been my thing. After a second, though, I think about all the times I've successfully coexisted with little jumping spiders before. I think about how when I'm with a group of people and trying to act tough, I always take care of the spider in the corner, scooping it up in a cup and taking it outside no problem. When I'm alone I'm totally scared shitless of bugs, but with other people watching, I can usually muster up the courage to take it in stride. So I do as she asks, cupping my hands out towards her as she looks all over her body for something. I bite the inside of my cheek in anticipation as Annabelle seems to find what she's looking for on the back of her neck, drawing her hand back with a small arachnid perched on her knuckle.

"Here. Are you okay to hold it?" She carries it towards me, and i don't feel afraid. It's just my size, actually, with big eyes and tiny legs.

"Hm? Yeah, let's see him!" I grin, and she lets it scurry onto my hand. Handling the thing is easy- I watch it scuttle quickly over and around my hand, flipping it over and upside-down to keep it in view. It's mesmerizing watching it go. Suddenly, it leaps out of my palm and onto the back of the bench.

"Shit," I say. "Do you- uh- need that back?"

I look up at her for guidance, noticing her hands cupped close as if sheltering something delicate. She chuckles. "No, no. He's from around here- a local, let's say. He'll be fine."

I relax at this, but can't get my eyes off her hands- I don't need her to tell me what it is, another spider, no question. She catches my eyes.

"This one is a touch bigger." Annabelle uncups her hands and shows me a house spider, dusty brown with spindly legs, about the size of a nickel or a quarter, give or take. I back off on instinct.

"Oh, I promise it's not bad at all. The same as the one you just had, practically." She tries to reassure me. I grimace.

"It won't jump, will it...?" I do my best to be polite- this is quite literally Annabelle showing me a very important part of herself.

"No, it won't. It's rather fast, but shouldn't overwhelm you to any degree."

"Will it bite?" I ask a final question, knowing that no matter what the answer is I'm going to end up holding it anyway. I know that she wouldn't give me anything actually dangerous, but- it made me feel /significantly/ better to ask.

"If it does, it's no worse than a mosquito bite."

"Hmm." I bite down on my cheek and offer up my hands. "Okay. Just. Do it quick."

"I promise you'll be just fine." Annabelle assures me, and coaxes it into my hands. It is quite fast, crossing over into my palm in the blink of an eye. I do all I can not to wince and frighten the thing into a defensive position where it might actually try and bite, and after a few seconds, I make some peace with the arachnid. I relax myself a bit, watching it dart over my hands looking very confused. When the initial shock passes, I'm left feeling quite the same as I had with the much littler spider before.

"Go ahead and let that one go too, when you're ready. You're quite a natural at this." She praised me, making me smile. While I lower the spider down to the grass, I can't help but make a crude joke.

"Yeah, I get that from girls a lot."

She kicks at my leg, scolding me. I snicker and look back to her expectantly, seeing her hands once again cupping something hidden.

"...Now, this one is... a significant step up." Annabelle warns, looking a little worried herself. I cringe, fearing the worst.

"What are you about to put in my hands??" I whine, knowing that whatever it is I'm going to say yes no matter what, because Annabelle is very pretty, and I like her very much, and I'd like to seem as competent and cool and tough as possible. She bites her lip and holds her hands out just a bit, keeping them nearer to herself than to me. A brown and vaguely fuzzy looking patterned spider just smaller than her palm sat there, crawling from one of her hands to the other as she moved to catch it with each step. I very quickly go into panic mode, my heart dropping to my stomach in the process.

"Oh! My God! Okay! That is enormous!!" I exclaim, not loud enough to scare it, but loud enough to make it clear that I was not exactly psyched to be doing this. Annabelle looked understanding, worried, and humored all at the same time, but she also had this air about her that made me think she genuinely did want me to try and do this for her own sake. The sucker I am, of course I would, but you'd better believe i was going to put up a fight first.

"It's a common american wolf spider- if it does bite you, it'll get a little irritated and infected likely, but it'll really only be sore for a week or so- i promise it's not bad at all."

"So it's going to bite me??" My eyes go wide. I've seen a wolf spider before many times- several years of working at a summer camp will put a good amount of wildlife in your book, creepy crawlies definitely included.

"Well- probably not. I-" she starts, but my stomach takes a plunge, contorting my face to one of extreme distaste. "I can't know for sure, of course, because these things happen, but it probably won't. He's not temperamental."

I groan and grumble and toss second thoughts back and forth in my head for but a few seconds before tentatively holding my hands out again and squeezing my eyes tight.

"Oh my God. I hate literally everything about this." I say mostly to myself. "Just do it. I won't freak out. I won't freak out. I'm chill. I'm all good, I'm calm." I repeat like a mantra or a manifestation. I think closing my eyes actually did help, because when I started to feel a couple tiny legs slowly crawl into and across my fingertips, I didn't flinch nor squeak nor squirm. I held perfectly still, and it did the same. The moment seem to stretch on for forever.

"Cal...?" Annabelle said.

"Mhm?" I responded with a lightly quivering voice through tight-pursed lips.

"Would you open your eyes?" She asked, hesitating just a bit at the end.

"Do I have to..?" I murmur.

"Of course not."

Silence, for just a few seconds. I take a breath and slowly pop one eye open, looking down at the creature in my hands. While it scurried back and forth in Annabelle's hands, mine were unfamiliar, and it sat unmoving- a small weight in my palm. It was a strange sensation feeling and seeing it there. With one eye safely open and the situation assessed, the other one promptly followed. I blinked myself back into the moment, looking down at my hands, entranced. It felt like the spider and I were in an agreement of sorts- i would be still and predictable and brave, and it would be calm and do me no harm. I was so caught up in the moment that I hadn't even quite registered Annabelle's gentle hands cupped under mine to offer support. I chance a look up at her- she smiles warmly down at the spider, but glances up to meet my gaze.

"You're a natural." She lovingly encourages. I offer a weak smile in response, shrinking shyly away into my coat. Suddenly, the arachnid starts to slowly creep forward.

"Oh, my God, okay, it's moving-" I channel my fear to my voice instead of my body, trying to keep from moving and scaring it. Annabelle moves her hand to catch it as it starts to crawl off of me and redirects it back towards my palms.

"You're doing wonderful." She coos, and I don't entirely believe her. Annabelle guides my right hand with her own for me to catch the spider as it wanders this time, and soon enough, I'm letting it scuttle over each of my hands in turn, keeping it safe and curious and alive. A moment later, she coaxes the spider towards her, and takes it back. I let out a shuddery breath. Annabelle laughs.

"You did great!"

"That was literally awful!"

The spider disappeared out of sight somewhere on her body, and I decide not to think too hard about the implications of that. I start to ramble more about spiders, but she stops me when she takes my hands in hers again with some sort of purpose. I look up to meet her eyes.

"Okay. How are you feeling?" She asks.

"Let's just say adrenaline is a hell of a drug. What now?"

Annabelle laughs, low and genuine. "Well, you said that my head was full of a bunch of spiders?"

"Mostly joking, but yeah. Wait, is it actually??"

"Well, more like... one big spider?"

"Oh, fuck off-" I scoot back. "How big are we talking here??"

She squints one eye and cringes a bit, speaking cautiously.

"Its... quite large, compared to the others."

"Christ. Jesus christ! Okay! Fuck!" I start to panic, but hold my hands out again anyways. "This is going to suck so bad."

She holds my hands, rubbing her thumb comfortingly over my knuckles. "You'll be just fine. I promise you, nothing bad will happen. It's slow, and calm, and quite easygoing. Close you eyes."

"Oh my God! I cannot believe I'm doing this, this is fucking insane!" I ramble in my anxiety, but do as I'm told without question.

"Do you trust me?" She asks.

"Is that a joke?? Absolutely not." I spit out, anticipating the thing of undetermined size crawling over my skin.

"Okay, fair. Do you trust me not to do you any harm right now?"

I pause. Despite my fear, I did trust her that much.

"...yes. I do."

"I promise you'll be alright. Just keep your eyes shut, okay?"

I purse my lips, swallow hard, and nod.

Seconds later, a few hairy legs creep only my fingertips. I suck in my breath and hold it there, heart pounding out of my tightened chest as it slowly finds its footing in my cupped palms. The first thing I realize is just how massive it really is- the creature easily fills my hands and then some, and it's about the weight of a baseball. It feels around up to my wrists, and Annabelle starts to readjust her position supporting my hands.

"Dont you fucking dare let go," I snip at the slightest idea that she would leave me alone in the dark with this thing. She holds me firmly in reassurance.

"I won't. I promise."

"I hope you know how horrifying this is."

"I'm aware."

"I'm pretty sure this is the craziest fucking thing I have literally ever done."

"I'm very proud of you for it."

We sit in silence for a moment, my hands held perfectly still. The giant tarantula crawls off every so often, only to be gently moved or guided back to my palms.

"...if you open your eyes will you panic?" She chances, biting her lip.

"Maybe. Probably not. Will /it/ panic?"

"Not unless you do first."

"I am scared absolutely shitless right now. This is INSANE."

"I know. I know you are."

My eyes slowly flutter open and draw down to the giant velvety black tarantula in my hands. It only takes a second for me to take it all in- probably the size of a small plate at full wingspan, with sharp mandables, a fat abdomen, and huge articulated legs. It was a dark, shiny black all over- the first thing I thought was that it looked like a Halloween decoration more than a living creature. And yet it moved, 8 cautious steps at a time across my palms.

"It's a Brazilian black tarantula, if I'm not mistaken. A bit on the larger side." She explains, gently stroking the creature's back.

"No kidding..." I mutter in response, mostly to myself. I am awe-struck, to say the least.

"Something most people don't quite realize is that the bigger a spider gets, the more fragile it becomes. You've got to be as gentle as possible."

"Are you sure?? Because this thing is built like a fucking TANK." I joke. Coping with humor in high-stress situations is my specialty. Annabelle snickers.

"Lately, I've been calling her Penny. And yes, I'm sure. Even a six-inch drop can kill one. The exoskeleton is quite fragile, especially where the abdomen meets the head."

"Penny..." I repeat to myself. "That's... weirdly cute. Especially for something so creepy."

The spider stopped its wandering, and seemed to sit down, in a way. It looked comfortable, soaking up the warmth from my hands. I let out a little laugh.

"She likes you." Annabelle comments. She looks a bit relieved. My face flushes, even at the absurdity of the moment; It feels very intimate, despite literally everything about it.

"So- this is what lives inside your head."

"Mhm. I have no idea how she survives in there, honestly- she doesn't hunt, I don't feed her, or anything. She's... sort of an extention of me? In a strange way."

"Can you, like, control her or something?"

"Not exactly? It's- how do I put it." Annabelle pauses to think. "It's sort of like what your Michael- or is it Helen now? Is to the spiral."

"I hate to say it but that only makes it a little bit easier to understand."

"Such is the way with most things in this odd world."

The words, though a bit grim, sound sweet on her tongue. I let them roll over in my brain for a few moments.

"Poetic." I comment. She shrugs. "I suppose so." With that, she coaxed the arachnid back into her hands, and I watched her guide it back into the hole in the side of her head. The spider crawled through the delicate mess of web with familiarity, and moments later, it disappeared. As soon as it was out of sight, I give a loud, exhausted sigh.

"I'm impressed. You did quite well!" She praised, putting a comforting hand on my leg.

"If you ever let that fucking thing out in my apartment I swear to God I will never speak to you again."

She laughs. "Understood."

"Good."

We sit in silence for a moment as I decompress. The adrenaline rush that came with handling unfamiliar creatures had almost faded, and my body felt heavy. Contrasting my physical exhaustion, my brain was lighting up with excitement. I felt very close to her right now- closer to Annabelle than I ever have. The fact that she even /wanted/ me to see the spiders made me feel... important, in a way. She had guided me through the experience all of her own accord. It made me really feel like she wanted me to know her- to REALLY know her- to a degree i couldn't even comprehend. I know what she is, and I know what she does, and right now, I am not afraid.

"Shall we, then?" Annabelle pulls me out of my thoughts. It had gotten pretty dark without me even really noticing, the sun having disappeared below the horizon, and a few dim stars taking their place in the twilight sky.

"Oh. Yeah, let's."

We stand up. She takes my arm in a very old-fashioned style and we stroll out of the quiet park and into the well-lit and busy night streets. Part of me wants to offer to walk her home, but another part knows that she likely doesn't really have a home to go to. Even if she did, I had a sinking feeling that it wasn't something she quite wanted me to see just now. So, we walked comfortably a few blocks through the city before parting ways at the front door to my building.

Annabelle gave me a quick peck on the cheek, said that she had had fun, and moments later, she was gone- disappeared as quickly and strangely as she always did. The kid in me pictured her slinging up and away on a web like Spiderman, but the realist knew she probably had some weird fear avatar powers that she used to make a dramatic entrance or exit. Once she had gone, I sighed and turned in for the night, a blushing mess.

[szopenhauer]

Who would you rather have sex with: Prince or Billy Idol?:  neither because I’m an asexual and I’m into women exclusively but elseway they’re both ok, probably would choose Prince though

Have you ever read any of the Chronicles of Narnia series?: at least one book Do you hate Harry Potter as much as I do?: I don’t hate him but I’m afraid of it as whenever I watched a movie smth really bad was happening to my dad - 6 times - coincindence? I think not... anyway I don’t shove my traumas into other people’s throats, I usually swallow without complaining, sometimes even mentioning that I have a problem with something, I might not only close my eyes but send you stuff about this or that I dislike if you’re a fan because I care more about others than myself *shrug* How many times have you seen the SW movies?: uh oh  What is your favorite anime?: I’m not into anime but I watched Ghibli, I also have sentiment towards Sailor Moon, FMA, Nana, Kuroshitsuji and Minami-ke 

Do you write it as “favorite” or “favourite”?: fav :P or favorite Do you believe in the Zodiac somewhat?: somewhat ;) Can you use a hula hoop?: I can use it on my arm, a bit on my leg, not on my stomach (actually better on my neck than belly) What is the longest distance you’ve ever walked?: pilgrimage when I was still in middle school How long do you think you could do jumping jacks non-stop?: dunno, not as long as I used to  What do you usually use your tokens on at the arcade?: I haven’t been to an arcade yet in my whole life so... What do you think of eyeball jewelry?: yuk What’s better: glitter or rhinestones? glitter Do you like taking pictures of yourself?: prefer selfies over being photographed, I can choose the angle and stuff like this, I take pics until I’m satisfied then delete the rest... Do you like making sandcastles at the beach?: why not Did you have streamers in the handlebars of your bike?: nie, tylko te kuleczki na szprychach, które wydawały taki specyficzny dźwięk podczas jazdy jak się przesuwały, teraz mam podobne na hulajnodze, ale one są stałe, mam też klakson i chciałabym koszyk ze sztucznymi kwiatami dokupić oraz wiatraczek - wiem, dziecinne, ale mam to w dupie - i tak rzadko jeżdżę, mam problemy z kolanem i wolałam to niż rower chociaż czasem tęsknię za siodełkiem, oba jednak ciężko obsługiwać będąc chronicznie chorym człowiekiem (serce i brzuch głównie), może kiedyś nazbieram na skuter  Would you put streamers on your bike now?: maybe How do you like your hamburger?: I really liked those with huge amount of vegetables  If you were able to sell your soul to someone, how much would you charge? What would you buy with the money?: no way! Do you like to be tickled?: I hate to be tickled Does tickling turn you on?: wtf

Did you watch the Power Rangers when you were little?: I don’t think so, Sebastian made me watch all openings once, I think Power Rangers had pretty interesting villains tho Are you good at playing ping-pong?: I wasn’t the worst Do you like to chew on things?: nah

Have you ever freaked out because you noticed your shadow once, in the forest, my dad laughed his ass off  *raz też miałam wstążki we włosach i wiatr je powiał na moją twarz, znów się tata śmiał ze mnie, było mi mega głupio ^^”

Do you get out of bed on the left side or right side:: left *co oznacza, że zawsze wstaję lewą nogą, coś w tym jest skoro moje dzieciństwo było szczęśliwsze, a wówczas wstawałam na prawo hmm...

Do you stare into the mirror when you brush your teeth meh How many different couches did you sit on today 0-1 You just won a free TV series on DVD. What is it Buffy or Call the midwife if not animated, could also ask for Stranger things because I meant to finish it with my father Do you really search for the cold side of the pillow at times I guess If a stranger looked at your signature, could he pronounce your name doubt it, my writing’s a mess

When you sleep next to someone to you do you face towards them or away away if I don’t trust you enough or am ashamed but I roll/kick so I might wake up in a different position  Do you look into the bottom of the cup when drinking from a cup often Do you fall asleep with your mouth open or closed drooling with my mouth open happens every now and then but I try to keep my mouth closed

Do you tend to use “…”  as you can see

What was the last item or location you cleaned just washed the knife Do you make up words when you’re singing and don’t know the lyrics guilty

Do you own an engagement ring? nope

check your shirt’s tag; where was it made? India is there a book you keep telling yourself you’ll read but still haven’t? yep

did your family ever own a vacation home? we’re poor my brother won’t travel places with a language barrier; would you mind it? not that I want to travel but if they don’t know english - I’m definitely not going  do you like watching music videos? love but not the dancing/playing instruments types

are you into philosophy? kinda have you been inside of a police station? I realized I’ve never been there woah are there any flags flying outside at your home? not rn where do you hide things that you don’t want whoever you live with to find? there’s no such place tbh as my mom would find everything if she wanted to and usually she just doesn’t care about personal space or anything like that why aren’t you outside right now? fuck off do you mind drinking room-temperature water? I don’t mind do you think covers of songs usually ruin the originals? mhm

What kinds of advertisements are on this page right now? they’re blocked Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? I don’t recall

Are there any empty plates or cups in the room you are in? mug If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? black If you spelled your name backward, would it be easy to pronounce? very easy If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? my dog was jelly  If you are taking this at night, what phase is the moon in? it’s not that late  Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? my sister’s room, attic, basement... Why can’t there be a 30, 40, 60, 70, 80, or 90 dollar bill? too hard to count  Have you ever bitten down on a fork and it felt really weird? omg, spoon as well, awful Is there a pencil sharpener within ten feet of you? hidden but I’m aware that’s there as I put it myself days ago Do you know a lot of people with the same name? (Like a lot of Johns) back in school

Do you think it rains too much where you live? that’d be an exaggeration Are you wearing shorts right now? r u kidding me? Do you like the name Skye? reminds me of my Choices gf 

Do you know anyone who travels all the time? it’s so popular nowadays, gross Do you think it’s selfish to travel all the time, when most people can’t? sorta but it’s not the only/main reason why I’m against  Can you see the moon from your bedroom window? nor currently but some nights

Are your ear lobes attached? no What’s the last animated movie you watched? Incredibles 2 (home, in 2020, not that I didn’t watch any animated movies for 2 years) Do you prefer your bed to be up high or low to the ground? I don’t care much? Do you know anyone who can’t swim? me  Do you bite your lips? yes

[swanqueeneverafter]

37. White Out, Pt.4

Storybrooke. The Next Morning. (Robin, Marian and Roland are walking down Main Street. Robin and Roland have been showing Marian around down.) Robin Hood: “I know this town might seem strange at first, but you do get used to it. And Roland loves it here. He loves watching the boats at the harbour and eating at granny's...” Roland: (Interrupts:) “And ice cream.” Robin Hood: “Yes. How could we forget about ice cream?” Roland: “Can we get some now, please?” Robin Hood: (Glances at Marian and can tell that she is overwhelmed:) “Well, I think your mother's seen enough strange things for one day. We should get back to the camp.” Roland: (Looks at Marian and puts on a pleading face:) “Please, mom?” Marian: “Sure.” Any Given Sundae. Interior. (Roland, Robin and Marian enter and we see the Snow Queen come out from behind the counter, holding two Rocky Road ice creams. One for Robin and the other for Roland.) Snow Queen: “Rocky road for the little man.” (Hands Roland his ice cream.) Roland: (Looks happy:) “Thank you.” Snow Queen: (Chuckles:) “You're welcome. (Hands Robin his:) And his dashing father. (Turns to Marian:) And I don't believe that I've met the beautiful mother.” Robin Hood: “Uh, this is Marian.” Snow Queen: “It is lovely to finally meet you, Marian. (Walks back behind the counter:) Well, since you've been through such an ordeal, the least I can do is... is get you something on the house. What flavour would you like?” Marian: (Looks taken by surprise and conflicted:) “I... Don't know.” Robin Hood: “Uh, in our world, the, uh, flavour choices of ice were dirt and mud.” Snow Queen: (Smiles and chuckles:) “In this world, we've made some improvements. Trust me, there is no problem that can't be solved with a bit of ice cream.” (Goes to the back counter top and sprinkles some topping on the ice cream, before waving her hand and discreetly casting a spell on it.) Robin Hood: “Thank you. That's very kind.” Snow Queen: (Smiles and peers over the counter, looking at Roland:) “No, thank you. Seeing a happy family like yours in here really warms my heart.” Marian: (Tries some of her ice cream:) “Mhm.” (Smiles, and follows Robin and Roland out of the shop.) Mr. Gold’s Shop. Present. (Hook and Elsa are standing in Mr Gold’s shop, with Mr Gold and Belle standing in front of them. They have come in the hope that Mr Gold might have answers as to why Elsa was in the urn in his vault.) Mr. Gold: “I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've never seen her before in my life.” Hook: “So how'd she end up inside your urn inside your secret vault of terror?” Mr. Gold: “Look, if you really want to know how she wound up there, she's standing right beside you, Captain. Why don't you simply ask her?” Elsa: “He did. But I can't remember. Something happened to my memories.” Mr. Gold: “Well, an all-too-common affliction 'round these parts. Pity. But as you can see, many objects fall into my possession... urns, necklaces, all manner of things. I can't know the history behind all of them.” Hook: (Doesn’t look like he is buying Mr. Gold’s story and interrupts:) “Only if there's something in it for you. Right, mate?” Mr. Gold: “Yeah, well, that may have been true once. But recently my life has been... Turned upside down. I've lost a son. (Looks to Belle:) I've gained a wife. So you might say... I've decided to turn over a new leaf. Much like you, it seems.” Hook: “I’m here as a favor to David. With Emma out recuperating, the Sheriff’s station is a little depleted.” Mr Gold: “Deputy for a day? How adorable. Just as long as you don’t overstep your authority.” Hook: “You know more than you let on, out with it, crocodile.” Mr. Gold: “Hm. How about I do you one better? Let's simply have Belle use the dagger on me.”

Belle: (Shocked at the suggestion, she steps forward, taking a hold of his hand:) “No. No. Rumple, you don't... you don't have to do that.” Mr. Gold: (Insistent:) “No, no, no. The Captain wants proof, And I'm happy to co-operate.” Belle: (Sighs:) “Fine. (Opens her bag and pulls out the dagger. The others watch as she turns to face Mr Gold and raises it:) I command you, Dark One...To tell them the truth.” Mr Gold: “The truth is... (He pauses momentarily:) Just as I said. I had no idea there was someone inside there. I know nothing about Elsa. Or her sister. But I wish you best of luck finding her.” The Mayor’s Office. (Mary Margaret is getting ready to host her first town meeting as Mayor, and people are slowly arriving. Mary Margaret is still holding baby Neal, and greeting people as they walk in.) Mary Margaret: “Hi.” (Smiles and hands a woman a small piece of paper.) David: “Come on inside. (Walks out of the meeting room into the foyer where Mary Margaret is standing:) Need a hand?” (Reaches out to take Neal from her.) Mary Margaret: (Holds Neal closer to her:) “Oh, no. I got it.” David: “You're planning to run your first fireside chat holding a newborn?” Mary Margaret: “Yeah, I'm fine. Mothers are natural multi-taskers.” David: (Touches Neal’s head:) “That may be, but you're juggling a lot right now.” Mary Margaret: “Well, that's true. I have to say, I'm starting to have more and more respect for our court Jester every day.” David: “Yeah. Rupert was special. But you're sure you can...” Mary Margaret: “We took back a kingdom, remember? I can handle this. (Mary Margaret and David make their way into the meeting room. Mary Margaret walks to the front of the room, standing at the end and turning to face everyone. David takes a seat next to her. Familiar faces such as; Robin Hood, Marian, Roland, Leroy, Archie and Granny are present.) Hi, everyone. And welcome to the very first mayor's fireside chat. For too long, this office was a place to be feared. Well, I want every citizen to feel welcome and included here. So, if you could just refer to the meeting agenda I've printed, there are...” Archie: (Interrupts and holds up his piece of paper:) “Uh, what's this about an ice wall?” Mary Margaret: (Slightly surprised:) “Oh, that's, uh, item four. We'll get to that in a minute.” Leroy: “I vote we skip items one, two, and three. Show of hands.” (The crowd murmurs in agreement with his statement and all raise their hands.) Mary Margaret: (Smiles:) “Yeah, that's... oh, fine. No, I can... (Sighs:) I can be flexible. The ice wall is nothing to worry about. For the time being, it does surround the entire town...” Woman: (Interrupts and sounds angry at Mary Margaret’s last statement:) “What?” Archie: “The entire town?” Leroy: (Stands up angrily:) “Are you serious?” Mary Margaret: (Becomes a bit flustered, and looks as though she is struggling balancing Neal and handling the crowd:) “So, no. (Looks down at Neal as he begins to cry:) Oh. Everyone calm down. The wall isn't hurting anyone.” Leroy: (Still standing and not looking impressed:) “We've been through all this before. I ain't worried about the wall. I'm worried about who made it.” Mary Margaret: (Looks back down at her own piece of paper:) “Item five. Her name is Elsa. She's a friend.” Leroy: “Is she the one that froze my truck?” Granny: (Knitting in the corner of the room:) “And made that snow monster that almost killed Marian?” Marian: (Jumps in to defend:) “Bu... I-I'm fine. Really.” David: (Stands up:) “I've spoken to Elsa, and I promise you we will have all of this under control very soon. (His voice becomes distorted as we focus on Marian, who is starting to look a little dizzy and a white streak is forming through her hair:) And there will be no more danger of any kind.” Mary Margaret: (Her voice is distorted too:) “So, if we could all just circle back around to item one, we can all discuss...” (Marian’s eyes close and she suddenly passes out in Robin’s arms.) Robin Hood: (Lowers her to the ground gently, and in a panic, tries to wake her up:) “Marian! Marian!” Mills House. (Henry sits alone at the kitchen counter doing his algebra homework, as Regina places a cup of hot chocolate in front of him.) Henry: “Thanks, Mom.” Regina: (Takes a seat beside him, sliding a stack of comic books towards him:) “I didn't know which ones you were reading these days.” Henry: (Smiles:) “These are awesome. Much better than algebra. Thanks. (Chuckles:) But you didn't have to do this.” Regina: “Well, I wanted to. (Mock seriously:) But don't get used to it. (She chuckles again. Reaches out to pick one up, Henry doing the same:) Isn't it funny how these are just ink and paper but everything in your storybook is real? Makes you wonder who wrote it, doesn't it?” Henry: (Turns to look at her:) “The storybook?” Regina: “Mm-hmm.” Henry: “No one knows.” Regina: (Places the comic she is holding back on the counter:) “Oh, come on. You're such an expert on all this. You've read it cover to cover. There's nothing in the book that gives... Even a clue?” Henry: (Senses that Regina is genuinely interested:) “What are you up to?” Regina: (She scoffs momentarily, before sighing:) “These stories about me in the book, I was written as a villain. And things never work out for the villain, so I... Want to find who wrote this book and make them... Ask them... To write me a new chapter. One where there’s a happy ending. Is that crazy?” Henry: (Enthusiastic:) “This is the best idea you've ever had. We have to change the book because it's wrong about you. We just have to find the clues.” Regina: “We? What? You'll help me?” Henry: “Of course I’ll help you. It'll be our own secret mission.” Regina: (Chuckles:) “Like that ‘Operation Viper’ you had with Emma?” Henry: (Corrects her:) “Cobra, but yeah. This one we'll call operation..." (Henry looks down at the counter deep in thought.) Regina: “Mongoose.” Henry: “Perfect. ‘Operation Mongoose’ it is. Have you told Mom about this?” Regina: (Chuckles:) “We’ve talked about it, yes.” (The doorbell rings and Regina goes to answer it. Opening the door, we see Robin Hood, standing outside, still clearly looking distressed.) Robin Hood: “Oh, Regina. Can we talk?” Regina: “Robin, what are you doing here?” Robin Hood: “It's Marian. Something's happened to her. I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to turn to. I need your help.”

Storybrooke. Mayor’s Office. (Mary Margaret and David are still in the Mayor’s office watching over Marian, who is unconscious on the couch, ice now starting to cover her body. David is by the fire and stoking it, with hopes of making Marian warm again. Everyone else who was at the meeting is gone. Robin and Regina and Henry enter.) Robin Hood: “How is she?” David: “Not good. She's getting colder.” Mary Margaret: (Sighs:) “Regina, thanks for coming.” Regina: “Don't thank me till I've done something. (Notices the bird painting on the wall and stops in her tracks:) Who's idea was that?” Mary Margaret: “Oh, I thought I would put my own personal touch on the office.” Regina: “Well, you've succeeded. Hideously.” (Walks to where Robin is kneeling by Marian.) Robin Hood: (Looks up at her:) “Is there anything you can do?” Regina: (Exhales sharply:) “This is strong magic. I-I can't stop it, but maybe I can slow it down.” (Footsteps echo in the foyer, and a moment later, Hook and Elsa enter the room.) Elsa: “What happened?” Regina: (Looks up:) “Perhaps we should be asking you. After all, it was your monster that attacked Marian.” Hook: “Well, to be fair, we did provoke the beast.” Elsa: “But this isn't my magic. Someone else did this.” Regina: “Oh, and we're supposed to trust you?” Emma: (Entering the room:) “You can trust me. If she says it was someone else, it was.” Henry: “Mom, you should be resting.” Emma: “I’m fine, kid. (To Elsa:) So, how do we break the spell?” Elsa: “The only way to cure a freezing spell is an act of true love.” Regina: (Considers, thinks it worth a shot:) “True love's kiss.”

Robin Hood: (Nods:) “Well, then there's no time to lose. (Turns back towards Marian, before leaning down and kissing her. After a few moments, he pulls back when realizes it wasn’t working:) What's wrong? Why isn't it working?” David: “I've seen this once before, when Frederick was turned to gold.” Emma: “Who the hell's Frederick?” Henry: “Long story.” Robin Hood: (Frustrated:) “So, the cold is acting as a barrier? Is there nothing we can do?” Regina: “Well, every curse is different. I need more time to study this one.” Emma: “I'm going to go find who did this before it happens again.” (Turns to leave.) Regina: “Just be sure to take backup.” Emma: (Turns back around:) “What’s that supposed to mean?” Regina: “Well, between the snow monster and the cave-in... seems like the Savior needs saving these days.” Emma: (Snappish:) “You just worry about saving Marian. I'll be fine.” (Turns to leave again.) Hook: (Goes to follow her:) “Well, I like that battle plan, so I'm with you, Swan.” Emma: (Stops him:) “No. Take Elsa to the sheriff's station. Keep her out of sight. Once people get word of this, they're going to be calling for her head.” Hook: "Regina’s not wrong, love. There's someone dangerous out there.” Emma: (Her tone sharp:) “I don't have time to argue about this. I am the Sheriff of this town, got it? (She looks around the room, daring anyone to challenge her:) Good. Now I’m going to find the real culprit. (To Hook:) Take Elsa to the station and that can be your last act as deputy.”  (Leaves the room, not seeing Hook’s surprised look.) Storybrooke. Main Street. (Leroy, Archie and Granny are stood with the same group of people from the meeting at the front of Granny’s diner, and they are having their own meeting, and Leroy is annoyed still.) Leroy: “Elsa's the problem. Today it's Marian. Tomorrow she could freeze the whole town.” Granny: “Much as I like to move the hot cocoa, somebody's got to stop her.” (Leroy begins to walk out of Granny’s grounds, and the others follow.) Archie: (Protests and tries to stop him:) “Wait. You can't just condemn her without all the facts.” Leroy: “Look around. Who else can turn people into popsicles? It's Elsa, and we all know it, so she's got to be stopped before she hurts someone else.” (The group continues to walk down Main Street, walking past ‘Any Given Sundae’ and the Snow Queen, who watches them walk past, with an amused smile on her face.) Storybrooke. Elsewhere. (Hook and Elsa are in an alley on Storybrooke’s Main Street, waiting until Leroy and his angry mob pass.) Hook: “Wait. All right. Coast is clear. (Steps out onto the pavement. Elsa follows him onto the pavement, but doesn’t follow him:) That means go, love.” Elsa: “I'm not coming with you. There's someone out there with powers like mine. I need to find out who. I... I can't just hide out in some sheriff's station.” Hook: “Oh. Well, that works out quite nicely, then. 'Cause that's not where we're going.” Elsa: (Surprised:) “It's not?” Hook: "Not a chance in hell. And the sheriff's station's that way.” Elsa: (Curiously:) “And what's that way?” Hook: (Smirks:) “With any luck, danger.” (Begins walking and Elsa follows.) 

The Forest. (David and Emma are in the woods, approaching Robin Hood’s tent.) David: “Robin and Marian's tent's up ahead. So, what exactly are we looking for?” Emma: “If whoever cursed Marian has the same powers as Elsa, maybe they left a trail.” David: “So we split up and we look for anything... Cold.” Emma: (Scoffs:) “Yeah.” David: “Well, shout if you need help, and I'll...” Emma: (Interrupts him:) “Okay. Yeah. I got it. (Leaves David and walks towards Robin’s tent. She hears clattering coming from inside and draws her gun, knowing it’s not Robin:) Whoever's in there, come out.” (A young man steps out of the tent slowly and puts his hands up in a surrender motion.) Emma: “Who the hell are you? What are you doing in that tent?” Will: (He has a strong, cocky British accent:) “It depends who's asking.” Emma: “The Sheriff's asking.” Will: “I never did like sheriffs very much. Though you do seem like the decent sort, so I'm guessing you're not gonna shoot a man in the back.” (Emma looks at him confusion, and her eyes widen when he suddenly bolts.) Emma: “Hey, stop!” (Emma chases after him through the woods. As she is about to catch him, she trips over a log, falling on her face. Up ahead, Will begins to relax when suddenly David appears from behind a tree and tackles Will to the ground, before quickly making him stand, still holding onto him tightly.) David: “Where were you going?” Emma: (Finally catches up, panting:) “I almost had him, but I... Fell.” David: “Don't worry about it. That's why we have two sheriffs.” Will: “Two sheriffs? Bloody hell. That's not even fair, is it?” David: “Who are you?” Will: “All right. My name's Will Scarlet. I used to be a merry man until me and Robin Hood had a bit of a falling out.” Emma: “So what are you doing in his tent?” Will: “Well, I heard what happened to Marian. Terrible thing. But I kind of know something that might help.” Emma: “Well, he's not here right now, so tell us.” Will: “Look, I'm a thief. Always been a thief, always gonna be a thief. And when there's a blackout like the other night, do you know what a thief does?” Emma: “He goes to work.” Will: “Exactly. So, I'm working me way down Main Street when I break into the ice-cream parlor and see the strangest thing. There'd been no electricity for hours, but still all the ice cream was frozen solid. How... how does something like that happen?” 

Storybrooke. Mayor’s Office. (Regina and Robin are still in the Mayor’s office, and Marian is lying on the couch, still freezing to death, and looking colder by the moment.) Regina: “The curse is working its way towards her heart. Once it touches... that's it.” Robin Hood: “Is there nothing you can do?” Regina: (Sighs:) “There might be something. But only if you trust me completely.” Robin Hood: “I do.” Regina: “Then I'll send Henry to my vault to get what I need.” Robin Hood: “Of course. What are you going to do?” Regina: “Something drastic.” Mr. Gold’s Shop. (Mr. Gold is working on a trinket in his shop, when the door opens, and Hook and Elsa enter. Elsa is curious with the shop and what’s in it.) Mr. Gold: (Stops tinkering:) “I must apologize, but I'm really rather busy today.” Hook: (Walks to the counter and his tone isn’t one of friendliness:) “And here I was hoping for a warm hello from the newly-reformed Mr. Gold.” Mr Gold: “This is still a place of business. So unless you have something to offer me, I'm afraid I can be of no further help.” Hook: “Well, as it turns out, I do have something to offer you... my silence. See... I know that that dagger you gave Belle was a fake.” Mr. Gold: “Is that right?” Hook: “Mm. I've hunted you a long time, my old crocodile, and I know you better than most. I know that you would never let anyone have power over you. Not even Belle.” Mr. Gold: “And you expect her to believe you without a shred of proof?” Hook: “Well, I could ask her to summon you with the dagger. And then, when it doesn't work... Proof.” Mr. Gold: “That's a very dangerous insinuation.” Hook: “So we have a deal?” Mr. Gold: “I do hope what you require is worth it.” Hook: (He smiles and turns his attention to Elsa:) “Good news! He's agreed to help.” Elsa: (Walks towards Mr Gold, holding out her hand:) “This hair is from Marian. Someone cast a freezing curse on her. We need to know who it is.” Mr. Gold: (Takes the hair and places it in his open palm:) “Well... you're in luck. Magic can change forms, but never be destroyed. We'll simply return it to its natural state.” (Waves his other hand and changes the hair back into its original state.) Elsa: (Scoffs:) “Snowflakes.” Mr. Gold: “Magic similar to yours, dearie, though not quite the same. Much like a snowflake, each person's magic is unique.” Hook: “Poetic. How does that help us?” Mr. Gold: “Well, magic seeks out like-magic. So if I set this free... (He blows the snowflakes into the air:) It should find its way home, back to the person who cast it.” (The snowflakes begin to head for the shop door.) Storybrooke. (Mary Margaret is by her car, and is trying to put down Neal’s pram with one hand, as she holds Neal in the other.) Mary Margaret: “Come on. Ah!” (Sees Archie and chuckles.) Archie: “Got your hands full.” Mary Margaret: “No, I'm fine. It's just a little trouble with the stroller. You know, they... they make these contraptions so complicated. Oh! (She drops the stroller on the ground:) See?” Archie: “Oh. (Laughs:) I can't imagine how complicated things must be with all your new responsibilities as a mother and Storybrooke and this whole ice problem. It's a lot to take on, even for Snow White.” Mary Margaret: (Stops struggling with the stroller and looks down at Neal:) “Oh, I can handle it. You know, 'cause... I mean, I want to. They say that they grow up so fast. And I don't want to miss a second.” Archie: “Yeah. Because you missed it with Emma.” Mary Margaret: “I don't remember scheduling a session.” Archie: “I'm sorry. Um... I-I just can't help myself. But, you know, it... it's really okay. It's actually healthy to not be joined at the hip. And I can tell you, if you let it go, even just a little, the baby will be just fine. And you'll be even better. I promise.” (Smiles and leaves Mary Margaret, just as Neal begins to cry.)

Any Given Sundae. Exterior. (Will has taken Emma and David to ‘Any Given Sundae’ where he is still trying to convince them that the power didn’t go out there during the blackout. Emma is peering through the door, and David through the window.) Emma: (Turns to look at Will:) “I don't know. Looks pretty normal to me.” Will: “It was bleeding cold in there, I'm telling you.” Emma: “Because they sell ice cream.” Will: “During the blackout.” Emma: “Says the guy who's trying to avoid jail.” Will: “I may be a thief, but I'm no liar and I can bloody well prove it.” (Moves to the door and tries to use a paperclip to unlock it.) David: “Really? You think breaking in again is gonna help your case?” Will: “Can you just be quiet a second, mate? I'm just trying to do this. Takes concentration. Bit tricky. It's all about-” Emma: (Steps forward and takes he paperclip from him:) “... Yeah, the tumblers. I got it.” David: “You do?” Emma: (Sighs:) “Neal taught me a few things.” (Unlocks the door, the bell jingles and the three of them enter, the door closing behind them.) David: “Emma, it doesn't look like...” Emma: “Wait. Shh. Listen.” Will: “I don't hear nothing.” Emma: “Exactly. No compressor hum means no cooling system. Smartass here was telling the truth. Something's not right here.” Will: “Check the back. You'll see how right I am.” Emma: (Enters the freezer and David follows her:) “Well, look at that. Looks like we owe Will an apology. (Hears the bell jingle and runs out into the main part of the shop to see Will gone:) Son of a... He's gone. (Notices the cashier is open and all the cash is gone:) And he didn't leave empty-handed.” (Goes to chase after him.) David: (Stops her:) “Emma, stop. He's not the most important thing right now.” Emma: (Frustrated:) “So I just let him go?” David: “And then you'll find him.” Emma: “Will I?” David: “What's going on? Emma, I'm your father. Talk to me.” Emma: (Sighs:) “It's Regina. What she said, she was right. It's like I can't save a cat from a tree right now. It's like I'm the anti-savior.” David: “Regina’s just worried about you. You're being a little hard on yourself. We all have bad days.” Emma: “Well, I'm having a run of them.” David: “I know. But you can't lose faith in yourself. Trust me.”

[pippki-writes]

An Ill-Fitting Name: Snippet 13

NOTES:

Snippet 1; Snippets 2 & 3; Snippet 4; Snippet 5; Snippet 6; Snippet 7; Snippet 8; Snippet 9; Snippet 10; Snippet 11; Snippet 12

Word Count: ~2.9k

Faoust belongs to @thebiggestnerd - she writes him and the healer; Isaiah, Cat, Detective Voros and everyone else here are mine.

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It has been far, far too many days, with no sign of that damned officer again. Faoust decides he’s going to end things himself, and take out that cop. He’s tired of waiting to see what she’s going to do. Of course she’s somehow never managed to give her name. Not written on anything she left when she was looking for Asmodai. Not even on a name badge on her uniform. Faoust calls the police station.

“Hello,” says the desk officer, “police department.”

“Yeah,” Faoust replies, “I want to make a complaint about an officer but I don't know their name.”

“Uh huh. Well d’you know what unit number it was?”

“She didn't give it to me. But I know a case she was on.”

“Ohhhhkaaaay,” the desk officer drawls, “what’s the case then?”

“Missing person from the hospital.”

The desk officer can’t help but chuckle. As an officer, D. Voros never could keep her mouth shut, and it’s no surprise that getting promoted to detective almost entirely against her will has done little to improve her public relations. “Oh ho ho he he ha hm, not surprising. Alright what’s your name and number?”

“Faoust,” he says, and gives a phone number.

“Mhm mhm and what’s your complaint?”

“She assaulted my friend.”

“Mhm mhm—wait, what?” The desk officer sits up in his chair. “That’s a serious accusation there!”

“Is it? Well she came into his motel room and shot his pet bird. I'd like to talk to her about that.”

“Shot—shot his?! Are you, I’m sorry when and where did this occur?” In the background, the sound of heavy keyboard activity can be heard, fingers clattering the keys.

“Motel outside of town. About a month ago. Could you tell me her name and if she’s working?”

The desk officer makes a series of incredulous noises, thunderous typing still audible. “Are you absolutely sure about this, hmm.”

“Bird only has one wing now.”

“You have proof of this?”

“Just a bird with one wing and my friend's testimony. Look, I don't want to make a big fucking deal out of this. I just want to talk to her.”

The desk officer, at this point, is now talking mostly to himself. “Highly irregular, tricky being a detective and all, might have to call up the watch commander to handle this…”

“Helloooo? Officer name and tell her to come talk to me.”

“You must understand sir we take these allegations very seriously and will investigate them to the utmost.”

“That's fine. Officer name. And tell her to come talk to me.”

“You must, must understand sir that these times being unprecedentedly what they are for safety purposes and in light of these allegations it would not be appropriate for me to disclosinate the nomenclature of the aforementioned accused at this time, but I will relay your concern to the watch commander.”

“Ugh, you're useless. I'm going to have to come down there.”

In the background of the desk officer’s phone you can hear radio chatter, and 6676 keys up “put me out on the corner of Main and Broad with.....with a bunch of geese that won’t get out the road.”

“That’s probably a good idea, we’ll need a statement from you, your friend—“

But Faoust hangs up on hearing the officer he’s looking for key up in the background, and heads to the corner of Main and Broad, looking for her.

Detective Voros is in her patrol car, lights flashing, honking her horn. There are indeed several Canadian geese just sitting and standing in the roadway.

Detective Voros is in the middle of yelling at the birds to get the fuck out of the road when Faoust approaches her car, bangs his hand on the roof and peers down in, looking irritated.

“SHIT,” she exclaims, jerking away from the window, hand going to rest on the butt of the gun at her hip.

“You got a lotta nerve,” says Faoust coolly.

“Jesus fucking shit. What did I do to you?” says Voros, trying to get her heart rate back under the exploding-beats-per-minute range.

“I thought I told you to leave well enough alone.”

“I did.”

“You tried to fucking shoot him.”

Detective Voros looks at Faoust, steely eyed. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Faoust scoffs. “Look, I tried to let you go on your way but you decided to be a problem.”

“No problem, ok? My radio, which was never lost, is where it’s supposed to be. No crimes, no reports.”

“Maybe for you, but in my book? You fucked up.”

“Your book isn’t the law. Now go on about your business.”

“Hm.” Faoust casts a sigil, and deep potholes open up beneath Detective Voros’s patrol car.

Detective Voros is surprisingly nimble for her frame, and voluminously loud in swearing as the car falls in and she, unharmed, pulls herself out of the window and onto the roof of her car, keying up on her radio as she does.

“Shit, shit 6676 I need a fuckin, fire truck or something, my car’s in a deep pothole, do not ask just get me out I’m fine just get me out.” She is glaring up at Faoust now, and though she hasn’t drawn her gun she has her hand ready on it.

“Oh,” says Faoust lightly, “how’d that happen?”

“You. You did it and I know you did it. Get the hell away from me.” She keys up into her radio again. “Yes I said a fucking pothole yes I’m FINE.”

“I have no intentions of going anywhere. You fucked with the wrong people. I warned you and you persisted.” Without further preamble, Faoust launches a fireball at her.

Detective Voros panics—her intention is to dodge, secure position, then shoot, but her foot slips and she doesn’t get out of the way—she is flailing to regain her balance when the fireball is drawn harmlessly into her, like a black hole smoothly drinking down a neighboring sun, and the echo of the action is like a whisper of cold back in the direction of the source of the magic, daring the source to do something else.

Detective Voros is definitely wildly panicking then when she pitches herself forward instead onto a knee, crouching, gun drawn without even thinking about it, and fires two rounds up at Faoust.

“What on—“ Faoust begins before he’s being shot at—he deflects one bullet, but takes the other squarely in the shoulder.

“FUCK!” Faoust screams, and sends another fireball at the detective.

Detective Voros is sort of prepared this time, in that she is prepared to roll in one direction or another, but not prepared for, regardless of the direction she dodges, the fireball to be drawn towards her, slowing as it approaches and once more harmlessly dissolving into her. Another cold whisper travels back towards Faoust as this happens.

Now Detective Voros is shouting. “WHAT THE FUCK YOU HOCUS POCUS MOTHERFUCKER?” She doesn’t know how to explain any of this and smacks the emergency button on her radio, the panicked tone screaming through the dispatch center. “6676 CHANGED MY MIND I AM NOT OK AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS SOME KIND OF…” she struggles to think of something that will make sense, “GODDAMNED FLAMETHROWER!”

Detective Voros has the disadvantage of the terrain but tries to shoot again.

“WHAT ARE YOU?” Faoust roars, and deflects the bullets as he's more prepared this time. He opens a hole underneath Voros. Not too deep, just enough that she can't climb out of it.

A lot of sirens start screaming very loudly at various distances and start getting closer.

“FUCK, I DON’T KNOW!” She tries to act like she’s aiming for his head and fakes toward the direction of a kneecap instead.

Faoust takes another bullet to the knee, screaming and swearing and vanishing from the scene with a loud ear-splitting crack.

Detective Voros is still holding out her gun, breathing heavy. “......fucking.....fuck this....paperwork....” she mumbles to herself.

Faoust’s healer earns herself quite the paycheck this time.

Detective Voros, against her wishes, is nevertheless taken in for mental evaluation. In her favor—a sinkhole, blood on the asphalt. Ultimately also in her favor—very shaky and disjointed body camera footage that seems to show someone doing…something? Impossible to tell. Claims of some kind of flamethrower and a suspect having completely vanished are working against her.

Faoust texts Isaiah, “we can't use magic on her it looks like. Got shot twice for my trouble.”

Isaiah: “I guess it would be a little rude to say I told you, right?”

Faoust: "yeah, yeah fuck you too. And yes I'm alright. We need to come up with a plan that involves getting her gun and stabbing her. A lot"

Isaiah: “well I figured you were fine, otherwise you wouldn’t be texting me”

Isaiah: “but I’m glad you’re alright”

Isaiah sprawls on the recliner, gesticulating into the air as he speaks, saying things like “I told him, I TOLD him,” and “can’t believe he got shot,” to which Cat, who prefers laying on her stomach on the couch, head propped in her hand, notes “she shoots a lot, this officer, doesn’t she?”

After a contemplative pause, Cat wonders, “you worry about him?”

And Isaiah scoffs. “Of course not, he can take care of himself.”

Detective Voros isn’t totally concerned with being put on administrative leave. She was a bit shaky, when help arrived, because no one trains you to really be attacked with a flamethrower (this line she kept repeating, as if repeating it might bring her absolution). She made other repeated disbelieving mumbles, and so it is not surprising that the police department hasn’t figured out who they’re looking for yet. Hell, they haven’t yet corroborated what Detective Voros said. The possibility of concussion, hallucination on her part? That’s still the prevailing theory.

They don’t exactly like it when Detective Voros, determined to be suitably sane enough to be released to her own care, leaves town early in the morning with no indication of where she’s going, but then, the prevailing theory at that point in time was that the pothole ruptured some kind of gas line that had made her see things that weren’t there—they were still having trouble with the bodycam footage—and she gave no one else any choice in the matter because she simply left.

Just a quick little trip to see her grandmother. Her grandmother, the one who always told her not to tell anyone her name, not to leave behind hair strands or nail clippings (exception to this rule: if kidnapped, leave DNA evidence), things like that. Her grandmother who, her intuition tells her, might know something if asked.

It would be rude to wake up an old woman, in the early morning out in rural Virginia, but at an alleged 97 years old, Gramma Lora is already awake before the sun, and sees the little old silver pickup truck sitting in her driveway, Dani asleep inside with her head resting against the window. It would be rude to wake up her sleeping granddaughter, so Lora goes to the kitchen and busies herself with the tasks of the morning.

Detective Voros wakes when the sun starts to shine directly in her eyes, and for a moment tries to convince herself it was just a crazy dream. But she is still in her uniform—without the gun, that had to go with forensics, because in spite of any crazy things she had said, there was the blood and bullets obviously having been fired, and something had happened, even if it was hard for the people in charge to fully agree on what that something was. Detective Voros sits up, and looks at the familiar house, the fields where first tobacco, then corn, then hay were grown, all familiar, and here she is just Dani. She sees movement through the kitchen window, and gets out of her truck to go knock on the carport door.

“Baby you act like you been away so long you can’t just walk in?” Lora calls from the kitchen over the hiss of bacon being dropped fresh in a skillet. Dani opens the unlocked door and walks in hesitantly, past the deep chest freezers in the entryway, past the struggling old desktop computer crammed in a nook next to the washer and dryer, memories of childhood in comforting flashes as she walks—the time the whole extended family almost broke every ankle when all the kids unleashed their collected stores of 25-cent bouncy balls in one dramatic swoop across the kitchen floor; the smells and tastes of so many breakfasts and the anticipation of eating them—and gives her grandmother a hug.

“Gramma,” says Dani, “I’ve seen some sh..some stuff you won’t....well...maybe you will believe. I need to talk to you about it.”

Driving back to her home—because this is all too much to think about, yes she stayed for lunch, no Gramma thank you, I have work to get back to, I think, I can’t stay longer—Dani (more and more Detective Voros, less and less Dani as the miles pass beneath the tires) keeps replaying phrases in her mind.

“You weren’t ever meant to know.”

“I was trying to keep you safe. And then of all things you become the damn police anyway. So much for safe.”

“I don’t know what to call it. I don’t know if they’ve got a word for what I did.”

Magic. Bullshit magic. Real, bullshit magic. Protecting her, and inaccessible to her.

Date night for a couple of murder friends with benefits—dinner at a Korean food truck, trading spicy mandu dumplings back and forth, before heading to the night’s main attraction: a squat, windowless concrete building surrounded by a gravel parking lot. There is a faded wooden sign in the parking lot proclaiming this establishment as the Gray and Blue. The parking lot has a decent handful of trucks with obnoxious bumper stickers. A dingy little white power nest, Isaiah called it.

Faoust sneers, looking around. “I hate it already.”

“Told you!” Isaiah says brightly. “I don’t think we ought to go in, by the way. We kind of look like the sort of people that sort of people like to hit.”

They decide to pick off the patrons as they come and go for a few rounds. Soon after, two men come stumbling out of the door. The first, average along every dimension, wears a shirt that says “my other gun is a gun,” followed by a nasty-faced heavyset man with a white t-shirt with the words “makes right” on it.

Isaiah and Faoust smile and get to work. Violence. Murder. Bloodshed. Guns drawn and impressively useless in the face of two psychotic killer mages. Evidence made to vanish with a snap of their fingers.

Isaiah picks a smaller, champagne colored pickup truck and sets off the alarm, waiting for the owner to appear. Another confrontation, pointless for the victim. Keys stolen, another kill for Faoust. Isaiah kneels by the license plate, tracing sigils on the shapes stamped there until they begin to smooth themselves into other numbers and letters.

They christen the newly stolen truck with a quick consummation in the passenger’s seat, door open, loud as can be, hoping someone else will dare come out and get themselves killed for it. But why wait? Isaiah sets off another truck alarm, the most expensive in the parking lot, and it begins its mournful keening.

It’s not long before the bar door opens, and a voice that sounds like it belongs to the first fraternal order of douchebaggery and natty light says “my truck!” and can be heard jogging across the parking lot. Isaiah uses his magic to yank the unlucky bastard over to them to have the privilege of being killed.

Of course, Faoust and Isaiah both are almost too distracted by being buried one in the other to be bothered to kill him properly. Almost. But they kill him just the same, another lewd and obscene display of violence.

Just the sort of thing Isaiah and Faoust enjoy.

Detective Voros is reinstated without punishment. Due to the inexplicable damage to the footage on her bodycam, it was not conclusive that what she shot was a person. The official report concludes that she shot a potentially rabid deer, which leapt away from the scene. The sinkhole likely ruptured a microscopic intermittent gas line which may account for any strange phenomena reported at the time by Detective Voros. A complaint filed against her that same night was dismissed as unfounded due to the lack of a complainant. Detective Voros is assigned a case in which four missing men were all last seen at the Gray & Blue bar on the same night, and she sighs.

She goes to the gravel lot. No security cameras—these paranoid types, too concerned about government spying to have such a thing. No witnesses, not outside. Three trucks still sitting in the parking lot. One missing. A dent in a truck door, the kind of damage that looks new. Researching the victims—noxious Facebook posts and idiotic retweets of godawful takes. Not a great loss, these men. Cell phone pings bring nothing. No credit card transactions. Her intuition tells her violence, but her fingers type a conclusion woven out of whole cloth, that the four men drove off in the missing truck together to give their lives to the white nationalist cause and headed potentially for Alabama. She puts out a bolo on the tag as potential right-wing terrorists of interest but manages to not conclude any crimes as having taken place, and closes the case.

She does not want to go looking for more trouble.

- NEXT SNIPPET -