#so yeah fun to think about this fuckin guy <333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[ripplethepickle]

“So it's super, super, super, ☆

Even if you destroy the world-“

Anyways the latest PinocchioP song reminded me of Splenda <33 Or like at least my interpretation/characterization/whatever of him lol. So I dids an art wahoo, enjoy chat <333

[heartsforvin]

could i request a vinnie reaction to their s/o being sore the next day after their first time

SORE

thank you for the request ! i hope you like it <333

pairing; vinnie hacker x fem!reader

warnings; mentions of sex, use of pet names (baby, princess, etc), cussing, mentions of aftercare, sexual jokes, lmk if i missed anything !

summary; vinnie has a very laughable reaction to you being sore after your guys’ first time

stirring awake, you left your head off your pillow and rub sleep out of your eyes. searching around the room from the comfort of your boyfriends bed, you wonder where he could be.

your question was soon answered when you heard him mutter a curse word under his breath, walking back into his room from being in his bathroom.

his tattooed chest on full display, you blushed and bit your lip, memories of the night prior creeping back up in your head.

“goodmorning, sunshine,” vinnie said with a kiss to your head soon after. “how’d you sleep?”

you looked at your boyfriend with such admiration, loving the way he looked at you the same way.

stroking his cheek, you smiled and replied. “good, can you put clothes on, though.” you joke, pushing vinnie away from you.

he laughs and kisses your cheek. “what, afraid you’re gonna want a round two twelve hours later?” he joked.

as much as you two joke about it, it was a pretty fun night — awkward since neither of you knew what the fuck you were doing — but fun.

“just put some clothes on, hacker.” you tell him sternly with a push to his chest.

vinnie stands up and backs away from the bed. “yes, ma’am.” he tells you.

as he goes to get dressed, you attempt to stand up from the bed but only make it to a chair in the conner of vinnie’s room before falling on to it.

vinnie comes out of his bathroom in a fit of laughter, seeing you try to put your legs up on the chair.

“guess i fucked you too good, huh?” he asked with a smirk, you tried to push his chest but didn’t quite get that far.

trying to stand again, vinnie helps you on your feet, holding you by your waist. “you gotta admit, it was pretty good.” he says.

you roll your eyes. “your ego doesn’t need boosting, shut up,” you reply. “but yeah, it was.”

kissing you, he smiles once the two of you pull away, making you smile too.

the reaction you got from him was one you definitely expected, it’s what made him, him. you we’re grateful it was him the two of you shared your first time with.

vinnie puts you on the bed and grabs a t-shirt and a pair of your jeans from an overnight bag you had, walking back over to you to help you change.

once your shirt is on, he kisses you softly and then holds your waist, smiling down at you with so much love.

he finishes helping you change and you try to stand on your own again, succeeding this time. you stop midway into the bathroom, the soreness from your legs making you hunch over.

“i think you broke me,” you whip your head behind you to face your boyfriend, he just gives you a sly smile. “my fuckin’ legs are sore, vin. this isn’t funny!”

you make your way into the bathroom and do your thing, coming out minutes later to see vinnie standing in the doorway with open arms.

you hug him tightly, trying to stand on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“i’m sorry i broke you, princess.” he whispers in your ear. “but you know you loved it.” he looks at you with a smirk.

you laughed and smiled at him, knowing he was completely right.

“i did, but i loved the bath you ran for me a lot more.” you reply, vinnie hit your arm playfully.

with a loud laugh, you speak up saying, “i’m kidding, although that did help the soreness a bit, clearly not that much. but the events before were just as good.”

the two of you lean in to share a passionate kiss. vinnie then picks you up by the thighs and holds you against him, your legs wrapping around his waist.

“i can get used to this treatment.” you say before kissing him.

vinnie smiles, brushing his nose against yours. “i love you, princess.”

“i love you more, vin.”

hiii i hope you liked this n it lived up to your expeditions !!

i loved writhing this !! thank you for the request again <33

[sadevergreen]

as a camp counselor (technically not currently bc i went home for Illness) and homestuck fan (also technically not currently bc I'm too busy being a camp counselor) i love camp skaia. which homestuck characters are most likely to be the "we're ALL sick there's no reason you can't do the hike up the hill" (has mild cold and vague heatsickness at worst) counselor x "actual lung infection but thinks it's a really normal cold" (very easily gaslit) counselor program group pair? i feel like eridan and kanaya are hot contenders here

ooo ok this is so good- apologies for the ever loving hell that you are about to see but i sought assistance from my dear dear pale friend @marv3l-drag0ns !!!!!!!! MUAH PLATONICALLLY <> ILY they were a huge help in putting this together

BOY DO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON THIS, THIS WAS EXTREMELY FUN :D

so let’s begin: my immediate instinct was kanaya and tavros are the most easily gaslit, or adhere most to given direction (we’re not going to talk about HIM). but then who to pair them with? they are both wet cats that won’t work. we decided that YES kanaya and eridan definitely make sense! but in which role? it may seem obvious but NO! eridan too sick? whiny fussy pitiful sopping kitty he’s just a beanbag full of milk! so we decided barely sick eridan, otherwise he’d be throwing a fit. instead he’s referring to his Superior Genes! and kanaya is. strugglin. but fuck man here we are 🤷‍♂️

But we’re not done yet!

the next we considered was karkat and terezi!! especially aided through the lens of karkat’s old crush on terezi; he’s too whipped and in denial to deny a girl a hand!

this led to possibly the funniest thing ever: THE INNER KANKRI THAT EVERYONE HAS AND HE SITS ON YOUR SHOULDER AND REMINDS YOU TO BE DECENT AND LEAVE ROOM FOR KANKRI

for the bigger drawings i capped it off with a good ol favorite of mine; erifef. why did i like them? man idek anymore but it worked really well with the idea of eridan being the sicker one, but being ok such thin ice over his constant whining that he just has to go along with it we just though it was funny hehe. it can be viewed through any lens! snippy or non, s’all good here! it’s all canon.

what is he was sick and he couldn’t whine 🥺 what is he was sick and he wasn’t allowed even a snivle about it 🥺 not a snort 🥺 or a sob 🥺 he’s so pathetic !!!! besides, he can’t be out paced by some fuckin kids!!!! HES A GROWN ADULT 16-18 Y/O CAMP COUNSELOR GODDAMNIT!!

MARVEL: “Feferi: ah yes your sickness you have a functioning immune system and are the most dramatic guy on planet earth (only one of those statements is true)” which statement? :) yeah

she doesn’t believe him anymore <333

Ok and that is it for full line art doodles, but!!! i couldn’t resist drawing some more pairs we pondered

ERIDAN AND KARKAT: omfg so good!! but they would 100% either both be tooooo sick and dead, or they would both be mostly fine

VRISKA AND TAVROS: no. and you know why we’re not doing this one :,( we all instantly knew this one would be here but we are choosing to ignore it im favor of…

TAVROS AND KARKAT: Marvel proposed it and it was very interesting!! i think similar to eridan and karkat, where they’re both dead or both barely sick. no i’m between. aggressive yet positive motivation (?) for the win!!! they further proposed that karkat “eats dirt for a living and doesn’t get sick very often”

Overall this was really fun to put together and answer, and i had a blast getting to colab with a mutual along the way :3 so thank you anon and thank you marvel!! this does bring me to something i’ve been meaning to say,,.,,,

@marv3l-drag0ns ,,? we’ve been friends forever, you know my dogs middle name, we complete each other in a way no one else can! you stop me from eating bones i find on the road, and i stop you from ascending to godtier to avoid going to exams…,…

would you be my

Moirail? <>

anyways! that’s all for now <3 this was so fun :) please send in more asks/ requests like this if you ever think of any more! i definitely feel for the camp counselor piece cause that was me earlier this summer PFF and all the counselors got sick and passed something around (but hey! it was an excuse to sit away from 7 y/olds for a few minutes while i got tea for my sore throat)

[desecrated-host]

UWHAGAHAHWGAGAH :333 tell me about ERM. laz Thacher

OKAY SO . 😁

as mentioned before hes based on lifetime achievement award and touchtone telephone . hes a radio host of a radioshow about ghosts and the paranormal . he does not believe in either of these he just thinks that "what people come up with" is interesting . writes paranormal fiction for fun sometimes

in some sort of weird homoerotic relationship with pandora ^_^ pandora's the guy singing touchtone telephone and laz's the one he keeps calling . pandora obsessively calls him pretty much every day to try and get his conspiracies on the radio show and laz is just annoyed by it for a while ("this is a ghost show, not a fucking flat earth cult meetup. stop calling or im getting the cops involved") , but then he decides one day like okay ill listen . once . before he fuckin knows it one day hes giggling kicking his feet listening to pandora rant about some bullshitted theory like OH FUCKKKKK IWANT HIM.......

one day he gets into some paranormal-related accident (havent figured out the details yet) and just dies . the radio system thing (i do nottt know the word for that yk the thing that hosts all the radio shows . that) is like oh fuck that guys show was real popular and made us alot of money . so naturally they revive him ! this is where the lifetime achievement award part comes in . hes back now and . pretty much a shell of himself . being necromanced does shit to you . only thing he really Does anymore is stuff for the show . yeah

honesty im still working out everything for the whole storyline but thats all i got for him so far ^_^ he is so silly and i love him . need a marketable plushie of him so i can microwave him in the microwave

[cowboywithacunt]

weird kink? i once had an erp with a guy online and it fuckin changed me.

the erp was about me being a pet for sale (sexual style) and like, I was on an auction with other pets and a lot of rich guys were auctioning for pets, and my rp partners character bought me for a lot of money and I was his whore toy then and he could do whatever he wanted to me

I was pretty new to the kink community in general, so I guess this is how I found out about free use being my kink

maybe it's not that weird but it's a very specific fantasy that I jerk off to very often

I also like tentacles and fantasize getting butt fucked and raped in all of my holes by them

so yeah :333

BOTH of these are very very very fun. I think free use, especially reluctant free use, is such a fun fantasy.

One of my common go-to free use situations to think about is if public sex was a) legal, and b) required. So every time you go out, you have to let anyone who asks to fuck you, but you're also allowed to do the same thing to other people. Real nice society, don't you think?

[mick-mundy]

self-indulgent tf2 punk headcanons (kind of modern au)

scout, sniper, and demo are all punk fans. you can’t convince me that they don’t all dress up and go to dingy venues together to see shitty bands play. besties 4 life

scout

- loves pop punk, skate punk, anarcho, oi!, and ska. really just the anti-establishment and angsty young adult my-dad-and-girlfriend-suck shit.

- he likes most other subgenres as well but the previously mentioned bullshit is his go-to. definitely a huge reel big fish, less than jake, and blink-182 fan.

- despite his favorites being super fuckin popular (nothing wrong with that!), he has a plethora of knowledge about underrated bands?? he could literally spout off facts about the most random of groups at any given moment if asked.

- “oh yeah, the fartz? fuckin’ wicked seattle-based hardcore band from ‘81, they were one of the city’s first well-known blah blah blah-“

- also loves talking about and listening to boston bands such as gang green, the mighty mighty bosstones, street dogs, and negative fx. he’s a proud bostonian, of course he’s gonna hype up the hometown gigs.

- if you want to get into punk, he’s your guy to talk to :]

sniper

- this fuckin guy.

- ugh i love him so much he’s just like me i wont him so bad

- ever the professional, he listens to that sweet, sweet hardcore shit. i’m talking thrashcore, crust punk, d-beat, noise punk, and grindcore. hard. core. shit.

- he likes the noisiest garbage (affectionate, i love that shit, too) because it’s sort of an outlet for his anger that isn’t shooting people in the head or slashing them to bits. most of the time you can’t understand what hardcore punks are saying in their music and sniper appreciates that.

- he’s not the most verbal person already and he’s especially stunted when it comes to talking about his emotions. when he’s alone in his camper, driving down the endless desert roads to wherever the hell he’s going, he can scream his heart out and nobody will tell him to quit it. he’s looked up a lot of the lyrics to the songs he likes so he knows what they’re about, but also so he can make a playlist specifically for when he needs to go yell off some steam.

- some bands he likes are negative approach, anti cimex, wolfpack, discharge, disarm, minor threat, and crass. crusty bands for a crusty man <333

- he’s definitely got an… acquired taste. he’d absolutely love to have someone, whether a romantic partner or just a close friend, ride along with him on one of his emotional screaming sessions. that’s one of the most intimate things to him <333

demoman

- god what a man

- he’s really down for any kind of punk. part of the charm of going to punk shows is getting drunk on cheap beer, but you KNOW this guy is smuggling that good scrumpy into the venue (ask him nice enough and MAYBE he’ll share.) punk means alcohol, alcohol means a good fuckin time for demo.

- huge celtic punk fan. street dogs, flogging molly, the pogues, blood or whiskey, roaring jack, dropkick murphys; you name it, he’s fuckin into it.

- he likes to make fun of pop punk lyrics but he gets it, y’know? especially scout’s love for it. i think all the mercs except scout know that spy is his dad, so that definitely influences demo’s perception. yeah, the kid’s dad left him and he never knew why, of course he’s gonna be into shitty “punk”, it’s all good. demo sticks up for scout’s choices when it’s somehow his turn to control the stereo. sometimes.

thank you for reading <333 i highly recommend listening to punk, there’s so many different subgenres, i’m sure there’s one for everybody :]]] nothing is more freeing than screaming at the top of your lungs to some low quality bullshit ^ ^

[shurisneakers]

if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!

a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj

warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist

Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.

“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“How are ya?” He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.

“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”

“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”

“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”

“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.

“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”

“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”

“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”

Ah, fuck.

“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.

“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”

“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”

Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.

“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”

“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.

____

“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.

“What could I possibly get you?”

“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.

“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”

“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."

“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.

“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”

He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.

“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”

He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.

“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”

“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”

“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.

“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.

“It’s none of your busi-”

“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”

His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.

“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.

“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.

“I’m literally asking you.”

“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.

“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”

“Like Pandora’s Box?”

“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.

“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.

“Sir, you’re a geriatric."

“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.

“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”

He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”

“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”

“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”

“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”

“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.

“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”

“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”

“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.

“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.

“I want this to get over before this evening.”

“What time’s your date?”

“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.

“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”

“Five o’clock, now let go.”

“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.

“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.

“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.

Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.

“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.

“I told you; bad luck in a box.”

“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”

“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”

He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.

“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”

He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.

“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”

He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.

____

Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.

He isn’t used to having his weekends free.

He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.

His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.

It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.

The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.

He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.

He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.

He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.

They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.

He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.

The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.

Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.

He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.

Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.

He was sure he picked it up.

He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.

This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.

Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.

His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.

“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”

“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.

See? Good luck.

He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.

He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.

He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.

He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.

He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.

He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.

“Is everything okay?”

Fuck.

He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.

“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”

He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.

He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.

He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.

He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.

His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.

Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.

The box.

He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.

Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.

He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.

Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.

He fucking trips again.

“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”

He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.

Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.

No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.

He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.

There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.

There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.

There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.

The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.

Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.

The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.

He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.

“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.

He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.

“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”

Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.

The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.

It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.

The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.

Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.

The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.

He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.

Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.

Motherfu-

He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.

“James?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”

“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.

“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."

“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.

“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.

“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.

“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”

“You must be really dehydrated."

Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”

He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.

“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”

He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.

“I, uh,-”

“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.

“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.

His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.

However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.

He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.

“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.

“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”

He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.

“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”

“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”

It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.

He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.

But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.

He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.

“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”

Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”

He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.

He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.

He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.

Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.

It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.

Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.

He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.

He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.

Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.

The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.

The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?

His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.

The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.

When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.

There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.

He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.

But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.

The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.

“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”

When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-

“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”

“I need you to fix whatever this is.”

“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.

There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.

The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.

The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.

He should have known. He should have fucking known.

Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.

In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.

It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?

There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.

It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.

But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.

He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.

The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.

His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.

“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”

He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”

“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.

It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.

“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.

“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”

He hesitates. “I guess?”

“Was she nice?”

“Yeah.” Where was this going.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”

“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”

“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”

“Just fix it.”

“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.

He waits for you to do something.

You flick him on the forehead.

“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”

What.

He says exactly what he’s thinking.

You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”

Huh?

“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”

He’s confused.

“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”

“The shoelaces?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”

His face scrunches in puzzlement.

“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”

He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.

“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”

“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”

He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.

“What about the fucking geese?”

You pause for a second. “The geese?”

“And the elevator.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”

“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”

“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”

“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”

He nods briskly.

“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”

“Perfume?”

“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”

“It wasn’t an inator?”

“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.

“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.

“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”

“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?

“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.

Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.

“Wait here a second.”

You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.

“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."

He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.

You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.

He reluctantly extends it towards you.

“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”

You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.

“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”

“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”

“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”

“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”

“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”

He scoffs. “Thanks.”

You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.

He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.

“Bucky.”

He turns around.

There’s a hint of a smile on your face.

“Take the stairs.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Next part

[zekeluvr]

i,, i’m going through an eren brainrot rn and i was hoping if i could request a sub n very needy eren x f!reader. something along the lines of him pissing off the reader and she teases him to the max and eren’s just begginggg ; and then reader gets herself off without letting him release and he’s just cryinG AGGHHABA I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE <//3 ty have a nice day ≧ω≦

oh lord................................... i have to....................... think alot oh god,,, also college au bc head empty <333

vvv nsfw under the cut vvv

today has been so fucking stressful for you. class has not been treating you well and your asshole of a boyfriend has been acting more like an asshole than usual. you loved him, of course you did, but god did you wish he would shut his fucking mouth sometimes.

you often confided in your dorm-mate, ymir for advice, causing her to just laugh and nudge you with a: “sorry can’t relate, my girlfriend is basically an angel on earth.” to which you respond with a snicker and nudge her back.

you often wished you had what historia and ymir had between them with eren but he had a weird charm that had you fall for him in the first place. 

you had a free period sandwiched between two lessons of english literature. so, instead of going back to your dorm for a nap or to the nearest starbucks, you spent it in the library with a classmate of yours. she was quite standoffish when you first met her. a short blond who intimidated nearly everyone around her. 

you were one of the few lucky ones who were able to get close to her. the other two being a jock and his sidekick but more into that later. 

sighing as your phone buzzed against the wooden table, you saw the multiple notifications from eren pop up on screen. your eye twitched as you tried focusing on studying and annie let out a small chuckle at your reaction. 

“problem in paradise?” she mused, watching as you tensed for a second before letting out a deep breath.

“man, i don’t know.  i love eren but-” you were about to go on until annie kicked you under the desk, jutting her head towards the right. you furrowed your brows, looking behind you to see your boyfriend enter with his two friends.

“speak of the devil.”

“y/n.” eren smirked, taking a chair and spinning it around, sitting down with his legs on either side. his arms rested on the top of the back of the wooden chair. “whatcha doin’” his head cocked to the side to look at you, like a lost puppy.

his hair was slowly falling out of his bun, causing small strands to frame his face. you would be lying if you said he didn’t look ethereal.

“im studying, jaeger.” you let out, running a yellow highlighter along a few keywords, keeping your eyes on your textbook.

eren rolled his eyes in response, peering over the chair to take a look at your various notes before snorting. “fuckin’ nerd.” 

you threw a look over at him. could he not take anything seriously? “don’t you guys have somewhere to be maybe? like i don’t know, catching up with professor erwin?” annie spoke up, causing all of you to have a moment of shock. armin nodded, agreeing with her, tugging on eren’s hood.

“they’re trying to study, c’mon don’t bother them.”

mikasa was silent, giving you an apologising smile. 

“bother my own girlfriend? more likely than you think, but yeah, my brother will be on my ass if i miss another fucking meeting.” he sighs, giving you a playful two finger salute before rushing off with the other two. you slumped into your chair.

“sorry annie-” 

“just teach him a lesson or something, if you catch my drift.” she mumbles quickly, collecting her stuff. you look at her in surprise.

“what?” she snickers at your reaction, “im not a fucking virgin. time for class.” she mentions, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“good idea..” you mumble to yourself as she walks off, leaving you to your own thoughts. 

good idea indeed. 

and eren gave you just the perfect opportunity. he burst in with no knock, no indication he was coming over, nothing. 

ymir was spending the night at historia’s so you didn’t have to worry about that. 

“eren what the fuck have i told you about coming in unannounced? ymir could’ve been i dont know, getting it on with historia for all you know.” you looked over at him, smiling internally at how he remembered to take his shoes off before joining you on your bed. you were not about to have his dirty ass shoes on your clean bed.

“sorry but to be fair i did see ymir walk into historia’s dorm so i knew you were alone.” he steals your soda to take a sip of it before placing it back on the bedside table. 

annie’s words echoed in your head, causing you to jump into action. 

you threw yourself over him, straddling his waist as he straightened up, excitement flashing in his eyes at where the night was leading. your threw your arms over his shoulders, shuffling so that you purposefully pressed onto his bulge through his jeans. 

he moved forward to catch your lips but you ducked your head, kissing down his cheek and jaw, running your tongue along the skin. your continued down, relishing in the way his hips jutted up once you pressed your lips to that one spot on his neck. you bit and sucked, marking him as yours. 

eren’s hands rested at your hips, his fingers digging into your thin tank top. 

you spot ymir’s tie on the floor. perfect.

you climb off of him, a quizzical look painting his face as you picked it up along with one of your (clean) socks. the brunet seemed to put two and two together.

“ohhh is that what we’re doing huh baby?” he threw his jacket off along with his shirt, expecting you to stare. however, he got the opposite. you ignored his movements, simply binding his hands to the bed and the using the (CLEAN!!!) sock as a makeshift ballgag. 

you were impressed with yourself. taking your phone out to take a quick picture before tossing it away and getting to work.

“you’ve been such a bitch boy for the past few days. why?” you questioned him, enjoying how he struggled to form words with the cloth in his mouth.

“is it because you haven’t got your dick wet in a while? is that it?” you tease, slipping your clothes off, leaving you in your underwear and bra. his eyes trailed your form, every curve and beauty mark. he flicked his eyes from you to his pants, which had a much evident tent in them now. 

you gave a little bit of mercy, pulling his jeans off and dragging a palm over his boxers where his cock had already leaked with precum. after a few teasing presses, you give him the relief of taking off his boxers.

you took his dick in your hands, pumping it a few times. you swiped your tongue along the tip, causing him to shudder under you. you stepped out of your panties, letting them drop to the floor. his eyes took notice of your arousal dripping down your thighs. your finger toyed with your clit, spreading your legs for him to see, his cock twitching when you shoved a finger into your cunt. 

eren wanted nothing more than to shove his face between your thighs right now. to lap and lick at your juices as you moaned his name. he tugged at the binding, brows furrowing as his cock begged for attention. 

you giggled at his neediness, crawling over to him and hovering over his length before fulling sitting down on him. drool split out of his mouth, causing the cloth ti go damp. a dull moan escaping his throat.

you were so hot and tight around him and he couldn’t help but buck his hips upwards into yours. though he easily hit into your sensitive spot.

“holy fuck, you’re so fucking big fuck.” you cursed, lifting yourself before slamming down onto him, causing him to throw his head back at the feeling. the lewd sound of skin on skin echoed throughout your room and whoever walked past would definitely know what was going on. 

you continue fucking yourself on his cock, using your fingers to pinch at your clit. the sight alone could’ve made eren cum in you but it was nothing compared to how you creamed around him, your walls pulsing around him. he was literally about to fall off the edge, before you pulled off of him. his cock falling limp as a tiny drop of cum dribbled out of him. 

“wha fe hell!” he yelled through the fabric. you pulled the sock in his mouth down, letting him talk freely.

“please y/n! i want to cum! please let me cum!” eren begged, tugging on the bindings harder. “please fuck- i just wanna feel your pretty pussy please.” he pressed on further, causing the corners of your lips to curl up into a teasing smile. his eyes were glassy, tears falling with a single blink. long brown hair sticking to his damp forehead, messy on the pillow under his head. 

“sorry baby..” you threw on a hoodie, your panties and some shorts after cleaning yourself up. 

“maybe if you weren’t such a little bitchy boy, i would’ve let you cum.” you slid his boxers and jeans back on for him, zipping him up.

“now, you stay here, im gonna get us some pizza, yeah?” you pulled his hair into a bun and loosened the tie around his wrists slightly. 

you’ll untie them completely later, but for now, you wanted to have your fun. 

[mossterious]

S4 thoughts as I Go!!!

MERLIN VS THE KITCHEN STAFF! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!!

I love that Merlin and Arthur will forever be bitches to each other. It is a love language. An artform, even.

Oh rip Uther he is dealing with the consequences of his actions

Oh wait okay so we have ANOTHER time skip. Fun.

HEY. HEY ARTHUR. UNCLES ARE ALWAYS EVIL. GET OUTTA THERE.

PERCIVAL CARRYING THE KIDS YAYYYYYY

Yeah that’s right it’s a naked moleratttttt (I love you wilddeoren)

Fuck you evil uncle man.

GWEN IS GONNA BE SUCH A GOOD QUEEN LOOK AT HER GOOOOOOOOO

Elyan also rules now that he is allowed a personality

LANCELOT. HEY. NO. WTF. HEY. NO. LAMCELOT????? NO.

Anyway me and my brother were discussing that when Lance died he should’ve written in his will that 1) Merlin is his weird magic gay son and 2) the knights should know he has MAGIC and NO SURVIVAL INSTINCTS

Secondly we also decided that you could get Merlin to do literally ANYTHING just by saying it’s a prophecy. Like- “you are destined to eat 3 square meals a day or Camelot will fall” or “if you do not get 8 hours of sleep the kingdom will never know peace”.

The average person in Camelot gets enchanted 0 times in their life, Enchantment Arthu is an outlier adn should not have been counted

OLD MERLIN OLD MERLIN OLD MERLIN (part deux!)

Merlin looks so sad and wet and cry-y

Also Merlin literally is NOT allowed easy simple choices my poor sweet boy

If you cannot tell Uther is fuckin dead

Dragon baby, Dragon baby, come along to Dragon Baby-

ARTHUR NO STOP MAKING BAD CHOICES

AND DONT YOU DARE ME MEAN TO GWEN. DONT YOU DARE BE MEAN TO GWEN. ARTHUR. NO.

Poor sad grief baby.

The evil uncle really is peak evil uncle tho. Plotting murders, manipulating boy kings, conspiring with the largest enemy of the kingdom- he’s clearing off the whole damn checklist.

The fight between Arthur and that champion from the other kingdom, it was literally just Morgana and Merlin play fighting with dolls it’s so funny. Like yeah, those two guys are fighting, but actually Morgana and Merlin are playing chess in the bg

ARTHURS GIVING GWEN FLOWERS AND APOLOGIZING AWWW LOOK AT HIM GOOOOOOOOOO

OH YAY KILLER MERLIN TIME

I love how Merlin is always a bitch but now he’s a slightly different flavour of bitch and everyone’s like ‘woah he’s DIFFERENT’

Leon fully thinking that Merlin was joking about the crossbow. God I love him.

Thank god Gaius and Gwen figured out the mind fuckery that quickly

GWEN OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE STEEL WATER JUG

Old Merlin again again againnnnnnn

And it means that Merlin gets to do all the magic he wants ehe :) look at him go :)

btw my mom is SO GLAD that the intro changed from young boy to young man. So happy.

I’m just glad that we get all the tavern jokes now. I love it sm.

I keep getting stressed out that Merlin has new clothes this season. Why he is in a DIFFERENT BLUE SHIRT? AND A EVER SO SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT BANDANA??? A RED SHIRT?????? A GREEN BANDANA???????? nooooooooo he doesn’t look rightttttttt

GWAINEEEEE

Elyan standing up for Merlin when he’s being the acting physician <333

Gwaine !!!

Also holy moly this post is long I apologise

The Lamia is so funny because it’s like- technically it doesn’t work on Merlin because he has magic. But also it’s kinda cuz he’s the only gay guy in a sea of bi knights. HOWEVER, Gwen is also immune because of being a woman, but Gwen is also so very bi to me… which means either the lamia just can’t use magic on any woman since THE LAMIA is straight, or Gwen is ace and demi-ro, which I’m liking more and more.

#1 rule of Camelot NEVER ACCEPT JEWELLERY EVER.

The Lancelot shit is well done tbh but also GAH I HATE IT

ARTHUR STOP BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF YOU LOVE GWEN YOU IDIOTTTTTT

However Merlin sabotaging Arthur’s new marriage IS hilarious

But the new fiancée is SO CUTE. I like that they weren’t like ‘anyone but Gwen just fundamentally sucks!’ No she’s cute actually. Perfect wife material. Kind and funny and not easily embarrassed and genuinely liked Arthur and a good political match- But she’s not Gwen, and that’s the important bit.

Deer Gwen !!!

Oh yay everything’s gone to shit!!!

SANTIAGO IWTV??? WHY ARE YOU HEREEEEEEEE!?! (I did not recognise him besides a ‘he is SOMEONE’)

Also Merlin and Arthur fighting together super in sync!!! Merlin tossing the crossbow bolt- they’re so CUTE.

Arthur’s cunty peasant crop top

Gwen!!!

THEYRE SO CUTE AND I HATE THEM! ARTHUR GOING BACK FOR MERLIN AHHHHH

Also we are NOT talking about Isolde’s absolutely terrible ‘warrior’ leather tank top. We just aren’t talking about it. At all. This is me not talking about it. (GOD ITS SO BAD WITH HER TIMELESS BEACH WAVES AND HER LEATHER CROP TOP ARMOUR-)

GWAINEEEEEEEE

Elyan and Percival’s bestiesm means so much to me btw. I love them.

ITS CORINATION DAY! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVERRRRR-

Gwen’s dress is beautiful, her crown is even cooler, and Merlin HAS ANOTHER NEW SHIRT

Baby dragon!

They keep giving Morgana an evil bestie, killing them off, and then just giving her a new evil bestie??? She could just be evil by herself!!!

*sees knew character* EVILLL. And! I’m! Always! Right!

Side note- Gauis’ hair???????

MORDRED HI HONEY!!!

We are now differentiating young Mordred by calling him Mini Mordred btw

I love Merlin calling the dragon it’s always so fun idk man

I’m finally watching Merlin!!! I cannot tell you why I never have before.

[aria-greenhoodie]

My opinions on every Dream smp character (/rp /c! /lh) 

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE CREATORS THIS IS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THIS IS ALL SAID LIGHTHEARTEDLY!!!

Dream - die.

George - Does he even exist??? I think he just stays asleep in a shroom forest until Dream XD drags him out for “fun time.”

Sapnap - Pet Killer. >:( But is engaged to Karl and Quackity who are both cool so I guess it’s fine.

Callahan - All knowing and terrifying, but fantastic and great.

Sam - What the fuck??? Is??? Going on with this man??? He’s fucked up. I don’t think hes a bad person but he needs someone to tell him to fucking stop, because he has done bad shit, even if I dont think he’s bad, like, what in the fuck. I kinda wanna bite him.

Warden - IM SORRY IM SORRY DONT KILL ME FUCK SHIT PISS BALLS IM SOR

Sam Nook - The best Sam. I’d kill and die for him. irl. /gen. This is not a joke. I love this robot. SO MUCH. Love so muchh. <333

Alyssa - Exists? I think???

Ponk - I don’t know a lot about her but I want to know more and I know they are WONDERFUL AND DIDN’T DESERVE WHAT SAM DID TO HIM, SAM WHAT THE FUCK, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE PUT IN FUCKING LINE, PONK WAS SO NICE TO YOU EVEN AFTER ALL THAT, WHAT THE FUUUUCK

BBH - Bit fucked up. Not that pleasant.

Tommy - Big Man. Always correct. Don’t argue with me about this, I'll bite you. And he probably will too. He reminds me of me when I was in middle school and because of that I will side with him always.

Tubbo - Awe, what a little lad! Oh, he’s a bit fucked up. O-oh… he’s a LOT fucked up… Still a little lad though! Also pretty gender. Also according to literally every single “WHICH DSMP CHARACTER ARE YOU?” quiz I take I’m him, so that’s cool!

Fundy - I hold you very gently and tenderly but also very far away at arms length just in case.

Punz - Punz

Purpled - Funky fucking alien boy!!! Good builder, really cool, deserved better, I got really sad when Quackity blew up his UFO because it looked fucking sick and if it was mine I would have cried.

Wilbur - Seems very polite, but also maybe a little unhinged…

Ghostbur -pspsppssps sweet man so polite come back to me please pspspspspspspps come here pspspspspspspss yes I would love some blue now come closer pspsppspspspspss

Revivedbur - Sir please do not fuck this up I’m rooting for you because I know you can do great things please do not make me regret this please sir I believe in you please

Schlatt - Drunk bitch. Fuckin died. L.

Skeppy - Wait what even is your lore? You got corrupted by the Egg at some point but did you do anything after that?? Do you even still EXIST????

Eret - King, Queen, Royalty at its finest, you have tried so hard and I love you for it, also you’re violently gender and kinda pretty ngl so I may be biased but stfu you fucking kill it you funky fucking Herobrine ily <333

Jack Manifold - ON THAT JACK MANIFOLD GRIND! THE JACK MANIFOLD GRIND NEVER STOPS!

Nikki - Babe ily you deserved better, I may be rooting for Revivedbur but if you wanna punch that mf in his undead face I fully support you ily ily ily

Quackity - YOU! YOU!!! FUCKING YOU!!! I’M GOING TO VIOLENTLY ADORE YOU!!! YOU ARE SO FUNKY!!! YOU’RE ONE OF THE ONLY CAPITALISTS I WILL ACCEPT!!! FUCKMAN!!! LOVE YOUR WORK ON ALL THOSE WARCRIMES!!! <3333333

Karl Jacobs - Funky Time lad! Also really pretty. And kinda gender, but only a little bit. Those cool drawings of his old skin that the fandom came up with where he's a weird colorful rubber-hose-armed marshmallow human thing are more gender than what he is now, though.

Hbomb - Furry /pos. Seems nice enough.

Technoblade - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! TECHNO NEVER DIES! LOVE ME AN ANARCHIST OLD MAN PIG WHO WILL DESTROY ANYTHING IN HIS PATH! Also Piglin /pos.

Antfrost - Furry /neg. He’s actually fine, but I don't actually have much to say about him.

Philza Minecraft - is quite old, he is married to a woman, which I find interesting. I love him but would also like to punch him, just once. Just one little punch. Nothing super hard, just a little punch. Love ya, Dadza <3

Connor - Sonic Kinnie. I know he has lore but I cannot understand it and only know 1/10 of it so I can't actually say much about him. He seems depressed all the time though, so I feel bad for him.

Captain Puffy - The best Father I have ever seen <3 Also the only semi-fucking-responsible adult??? Like Sam used to be too but then he… yeah… I love her!

Viky - Doesn't exist in cannon I think??

Lazar - Does he exist in cannon either????

Ranboo - YOU!!! You <333 YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! I love you!! You make me a little sad sometimes but also INCREDIBLY happy!! My little hypocrite <3 my little walking contradiction <3 also REALLY gender, VIOLENTLY so. And Enderman /very pos.

Foolish - I like you! I don’t know much about you, but I’m learning more! I like your builds and attitude! Nice man :)

Hannah - I know literally NOTHING about you at all but I want to because you seem so badass and cool holy shit

Slimecicle - FUCKING WEIRD ASS SLUDGE MONSTER FROM THE BEGINING OF TIME???? YES PLEASE!!! SO GENDER!!! SO COOL!!! LOVE!!! LOVE LOV ELVOEKJDENJJW!!!!!!!!!! I love this fucking man <3333333 Filled with bones and meat and not slime at all <333333333

Michael McChill - Dream Stan /neg I don’t know much about this guy, actually, pretty neutral on him.

Michael _Beloved - Nice boy! Very polite! Probably could kill me if he wanted! Good lad!

Michelle - Oh she would whoop my ass. Great and fantastic!

Yogurt - babeyy,,,,,, boi,,,,, come hereee,,,,,, pspspsppspspsspspsp,,,,,,, i love youuu,,,,,,,

Foolish Jr. - Seems energetic and excitable! Good lad!

Finley - Fantastic, wonderful girl!

Shroud - I LOVE YOU. I WILL FIGHT ANY WAR YOU ASK ME TO. I WILL KILL MY FAMILY FOR YOU. SHROUD SUPREMACY. AAAAAAAAAAAA.

Mexican Dream - Eyyyyyy look at he! Look at the he!!! I like he :)))) he’s cool.

Dream XD - Oh so you’re THAT kind of asshole. Love it. 10/10. Also biblically accurate angel inspired designs for this mf??? So gender. Violently gender. Love that shit.

Drista - YOU!!!! ARE!!! SO!!!! COOL!!!! I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR YOU!!!! LET'S BLOW SHIT UP TOGETHER!!!! CHAOS!!!!! ARSON!!!!! YES!!!!!

Mamacita - p, prett y wom an,,, 

Mumza Kristin - If anyone doesn't like Mumza I’ll cut their body into fourths and burry the pieces under a Denny’s <3 She’s so poggers.

Friend - Friend! :DDD

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

Yo, so I flew through Wrong Number, Asshole (which is 😙👌) and I thought his quirk going off over the phone was so cute. But do you think he’d be insecure about it??? Like about holding hands or trying to keep it together if his s/o says something embarrassing? And what else do you think would he be embarrassed about with s/o?

omg tysm!!! i love writing that story so much so i’m glad u enjoy it!!! we do love a good soulmate au here hehe

aNd wow what a good ask thank u for this im obsessed with it and this is gonna be soooo long omg soz

-okay so first. yes. 100,, 10000% embarrassed about it. he feels like he should have his shit together with his quirk since it’s what Bakugou’s so proud of,,,, and like that’s mostly true???

-except i personally hc that his quirk also ties into intense emotion the same way regular sweating does,,, like, if he feels rlly strongly about something, instead of normal sweating it’s just straight nitroglycerin. and he has to like actively learn how to get a handle on it as he grows too!! so like anxiety sweating? sure he’s got it under control, been there done that. scared sweating?? only gets scared in battle and he’s already exploding things by then so its all good. but love???

-oml has no iDEA how to handle it!! i fully believe bakugou’s idiotic mad brain doesn’t fall easy, but when he does , he falls hARD. so lets say he has a major major crush for the first time ever, and he’s just sweating everywhere and his skin feels like it’s on fire - mans just pops. like a bacon griddle. not full on explosions bc he’s not actively setting them off ,, but if u do something cute, something that gets his heart racing just right he’ll pop

-i kinda imagine it’s bc Bakugou can’t understand what he’s feeling bc he’s a big dumb angry person so instead of just accepting his crush he’s like “oh. my palms are exploding by themselves. and i think about s/o constantly. huh. both things at the same time must mean i want to fight them- yeah that’s it. i just wanna fight ‘em real bad.” which only leads to more little explosions.

-pLeasE heLP hIm

-but anyways, you better not say a sinGle thing about this if u see it or hear it. bc man’s is not one to be embarrassed without putting up a fight,,, and this is about explosions , something he knows,,, so he’ll be like “yeah? wanna fuckin’ make fun of me, huh? i’ll show u what to fuckin’ make fun of!” and then just decide to set off a close range explosion in his hands or blow something near u up to high hell

-what can i say, he’s an idiot??

-congratulate katsuki on the explosion tho,, tell him it was really big and scary and thats when you’ll get him reaLLY embarrassed and keep him embarrassed

-speaking of hand holding tho,, he’ll be super nervous to try at first. like he doesn’t want u to end up feeling the little pops bc you’ll ask and then he’ll have to embarrassed and explain and he just isn’t a fan of that idea alright?? quickly comes to realize tho, as he experiences it, that if you hold his hand you’ll actually smother the little explosions??? like just- nothing will happen bc there’s not enough oxygen for anything to combust unless he makes it combust. which he won’t. obviously.

-oooO and here’s sum other “embarrassing” things he does that you’re ~not allowed~ to comment on

will stare in private. just generally zone out and stare at you- don’t say anything tho!!! bc otherwise he’ll get all huffy and “what the hell are you even makin’ that stupid shit up for! I’d never be caught dead starin’ at an idiot like you” - all said while still simultaneously staring at you.

tries to impress you. like if other people are around that he think u might like, he’ll challenge them to like weird physical feats or intelligence tests or he even somehow turns telling jokes into a competition??? and he’s so competitive it’s obvious too, but u can’t say anything about it. just let him express his love through borderline violence and victory lust ig bc there’s pretty much no stopping him

will cook food for you. don’t comment on how good it tastes tho bc for some reason he finds how much he wants to take care of u majORLY embarrassing

being physically affectionate. man’s almost never grows the balls to initiate hugs or hand-holding or cuddling bc he finds it mega embarrassing to be needy so if he does?? and then you make a joke like “oh, you’re so clingy today, huh” ?? man’s will throw u away from him and never touch u again unless u ask, so just don’t say anything. pleASE

remembering small details. Bakugou’s actually pretty smart and if he likes u then he actually listens to what you have to say,,, this means he’ll remember 3 weeks ago when u said u had a test that day, and ask u about it when he sees u- don’t say any “oh! im suprised u remembered!’ or anything tho,, he’ll get huffy

-and finally, here is a lil list, as a bonus just for u my love, of normal person behaviors that you do that ??somehow?? embarrass immature and emotionally-stunted bakugou katsuki:))

If he sees you do anything embarrassing like trip, or drop food on yourself, or swallow a drink the wrong way and end up coughing, etc.,, if it was literally anyone else Bakugou would just laugh, loudly, bc he’s an ass,, but ur not just anyone else. ur his s/o and suddenly seeing you do that stuff feels so intimate!! esp bc he would’ve never even seen if in the first place if he wasnt paying so much attention to u!!!

saying hi to him first when he’s with other people. like, example, lets say he’s with the bakusquad and they’re just all just hanging out in the common room, right,, so u walk in, see them all sitting there and wave, but u say “Hi bakugou, hi guys!” just bc u were excited to see him. man’s will go rED SO FAST AND HIDE HIS FACE

bending down to tie your shoes. no explanation needed- he’s a guy.

if you go to the store and ask him if he needs anything. it’s literally so simple but for some reason his heart just seizes?? like?? ur thinking about him the same way he thinks about u all the time???? and ur concerned enough to get him something if he needs it??? please he’s goNe, just a whole-ass pile of blushing

if you’re sitting in a group and you look at him everytime something funny is said. bc ofc he’s already going to be looking at u to see ur reaction, so when ur eyes meet and you’re laughing and smiling bakugou just gets so flustered!!!

wearing an outfit he knows nobody else has seen before. this could be new clothes, his clothes, pajamas, old clothes u wouldn’t wear in public, even halloween costumes before a party???- point is, if Bakugou knows nobody else has seen you like that, and only he gets to?? boy is sO SOFT and embarrassed about it

tysm again!! this was such a fun ask!!!! <333

[imaginesbymk]

“My Girl Who’s Not Really My Girl, But Is My Girl Anyway.”

The Pacific One Shot

Summary: Snafu opens up to the guys and tells them about you, how you two are hook up buddies, and he ended up falling in love with you before enlisting in the war. After he returns home, you two make it official.

Pairing: Merriell “Snafu” Shelton x Fem!Reader

Non Requested

Tags: swearing, ethnic slurs, smoking, my shitty attempt at writing implied smut (not too detailed), mentions of war violence

Word Count: 1,753

Author’s Note: snafuuuuu!! i don’t write smut as its stated in my rules, but i thought i’d give this one a try lmfao and verdict: i’m not continuing on doing so because to me writing smut doesn’t suit me. likes/reblogs/feedback needed & appreciated <333

THE boys ganged up on Peck - but for a good reason. Peck was a man who mesmerizingly gazes at a photo of a chorus girl he met and fell in love with while his wife waits for him to come home every day, and is also the man who had gotten their mortar rounds with his own ripped poncho, resulting in getting a fellow marine killed after running to retrieve new ones.

Snafu was the first one to call him out for it. When it came to mentioning girls and whether or not each of them had one, Snafu was definitely going to be next to at least mention a name, or coat himself with a comment, and so he did.

“I don’t care what you think!” Peck exclaimed, annoyed by everyone, especially Snafu. “It’s not like you wouldn’t do the same.”

“Oh?” Snafu said, grinning. “I got a girl waitin’ for me to come home back in Louisiana.”

“Really?” Eugene raised his brow, showing a hint of curiosity that his friend never opened up about it until now. “You’ve never mentioned her before.”

He shrugged. “Nah. Well, she’s my girl who’s not really my girl, but is my girl anyway,” Snafu paid no mind to the twisted confused looks on everyone’s faces, he just continued lighting his cigarette with his filthy hands completely worn from the battle.

“What does that even mean? Is she your girl or not?” Jay D’Leau asked.

“We just fuck around, but we’re not together,” Snafu spoke with the cigarette lit in his mouth.

“Not surprised,” Leyden says. 

“Fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means it’s not like you could hold down a girl for more than a week,” Peck says.

“You don’t got a say in shit, Peck. You carry a photograph of a Chorus broad while your wife dreads the day you die in the hands of a fuckin’ Jap,” he snaps. “I’m the luckiest son’a’bitch there ever was.”

“What’s her name?” Hamm asks.

THE tiny storage closet could fit up to only two people at a time, one if they were to bend over to get a hold of supplies from the shelves and bottom drawers. In that particular night was that storage closet used as a place of privacy for the extroverted Snafu, named Merriell back in Louisiana, and his girl who’s not really his girl, but is his girl anyway: you. Y/n.

People would have definitely heard you, whether they were walking past or were simply far away inside any seminar. The door to the closet was literally being pounded on by your back hitting against it with such force, after all. As for Merriell, he couldn’t give two shits. He’d let all of Louisiana hear you to let them know you belonged to him at that moment.

“You’re way too good at that,” you caught your breath moments after, straightening your dress despite its now developed wrinkles. Your hair was no longer neat and styled, but you did your best to fix it without a mirror.

“You’re experienced and lustful when you know what you’re doing,” he said so confidently. 

“So when are you leaving?”

“Next week. Time flies when you’re having fun,” Merriell put his shirt on, exposing a bit of his chest from the buttons down, and realized you weren’t paying attention to his answer. “Ya hair’s fine, girl.”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t wanna walk out there and catch people staring at me, wondering what the hell happened to mess up my hair.”

“Oh they’ll definitely know what happened,” Merriell smirks. “They’re gonna know you walked inside a closet and got drilled by Snafu Shelton until the cows came home.”

You chuckled. “Snafu? Are you sure you want people to go along with that nickname?”

He grins. “As long as I go along with it first.” He tightened his belt, shuffling a bit around the enclosed space of the storage closet.

You ran your hands down his chest. “I’ll write to you.”

Snafu chuckles. “Don’t get serious on me now. I’ll be fine. And don’t write to me,” he then went ahead to button his shirt.

You frown. “Why?”

“It’s a waste of paper.”

“Don’t you wanna keep in touch? Or don’t tell me, you’re planning your proposal to some girl up north?”

“No girl. But there’s nothing we have for each other but a good fuck, that’s all.” And he opens the door, letting you walk out first. He followed you behind, wishing he could hold your hand. 

OK. Perhaps that was a lie. He saw you more than a good fuck. He saw something in you that gave him a bigger motivation to make it to the end of the war, to do his part and come back home. He was gonna miss catching a whiff of your strong perfume that would make him cough and crinkle his nose from his sinuses deteriorating. He was gonna miss how your hair was in his hand as he played with it while cuddling at a movie theatre. 

He was gonna miss you.

NIGHT fell when Snafu hopped off the train. Louisiana was still the way it was when he had left it. The same old calls from food stands, chatter from one group to another. It was nothing new, but it was home. 

He stopped to take a moment first. He didn’t want to wake up Eugene, who had been fast asleep in his seat. Knowing he had something to say before bidding a farewell to his friend, he bit his tongue and kept walking towards the exit.

Snafu, of course, didn’t expect to have anyone wait for him at the station. No family, no friends, no girl. So... what now? He thought. Just find yourself an old man as your chauffeur home, grab a beer and a bowl of peanuts.

“Damn, you look like a lost puppy, Snafu.” Snafu froze in his tracks. He shifted his weight from his duffel bag slung over his shoulder to turn himself around, to find you standing out from the walking crowd. 

A sight for sore eyes.

“Shit, you’re here. As loyal as they come!” A smirk appeared on his face due to the surprise unexpected surprise, even referring to him as “Snafu”.

“You really think I wouldn’t be here waiting for your ugly ass to come home?” you teased. 

“That’s four years of waiting,” Snafu points out. “Maybe five. Shit, you are loyal as they come.” You smile, your eyes twinkling like Christmas was happening way too early near the end of August.

“I have my parents’ car. They told me to bring it back by nine o’clock. I just want them to give me a later curfew, y’know? At least now that you’re home, I have a better reason to borrow it more often.”

“Well all I wanna do is pop a cold one once I stretch my fucking legs. I felt sick from the train ride home.”

“Motion sickness? It’s just one way.”

“A mixture of smoke and onions stunk up the whole boxcar.”

You made a face at that comment, and walked Snafu to your car. He stayed in the passenger seat even though you had pulled up to the house and shut off the engine. You both sat in silence for a moment. 

“Should I even ask how service was?”

Snafu answered your question by changing the subject. “I really missed you, y/n.”

Cocking a brow, you gave him a look. “You insisted for us to not write to each other.”

“I missed you, whether we wrote to each other or not.” Snafu looks ahead of the night through the opened car window. “It was hell out there. I felt like all of Louisiana could hear it. But I knew I would come home to see that pretty lil’ ass of yours again.”

You chuckle. “Snafu-”

“Merriell.”

You frown. “I thought that’s your name now.”

“It is... but when you call me by my Christian name, you chase the loud noises away.” It didn’t matter if that was a metaphor or if he was starting to hear things that could cause a trigger in his senses.

Either way, you just had to ask, “Merriell, is everything right?”

Snafu- Merriell- looked at you. “Yeah. I mean, I think so. Y/n, I think I’m in love with you. Is that all right?”

“Anything that’s been goin’ on between us is just fine, Merriell Shelton.”

“I’ve been in love with you ever since we started foolin’ around. I didn’t think much of it. I always thought a new broad would occupy my thoughts a week after, but each week passes and all I did was look forward to seeing you and you only.” 

Sighing, you take his hand that was rested on his leg. Merriell came to realization that this was the first time you two ever held hands without it leading to sex right after. Physical intimacy, indeed. “Merriell, I had a feeling our hookups would turn out into something more.”

“Really?” he asks.

“We were there for each other no matter what. It’s like I found my ride or die - y’know before you rode out of America for the war trying not to die.”

Merriell stroked your hand with his thumb, his eyes locked onto yours. “You were always my girl. Someone special.”

“I wasn’t really your girl to begin with,” you laughed. “But I also wasn’t anyone else’s, either.” Merriell leaned in, kissing you deeply. None of you pulled away until you had to catch a breath. “We waited a long time to do this again.”

Merriell leaned in again, closer this time that he could go on top of you. He whispered against your lips. “And thank Jesus H. I’m back.”

You both kissed for a couple of minutes. It stopped abruptly when you remembered where you two were at the moment. “Shit, sorry. My dad could have opened the blinds. You should come inside for dinner. My mother would be thrilled to see you in a uniform.”

“Shit, I’m already meeting your folks?” he curls his lips to a nervous grin. “I know damn well ya Dad’s gonna stare me down across the dinner table.”

“As long as you don’t tell him that I call you daddy, too, then you’ll be fine.” You earned a laugh from Merriell Shelton, and you two got out of your car and both walked up to the front steps, holding your boyfriend’s hand.

THE END

[jean----ralphio]

BoB liveblog ep 7

Episode 7: The Breaking Point. YEAH, OF MY FUCKING HEART

I HATE THIS EPISODE. I HATE IT WITH THE FIERY INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS.

00:00 I really don’t wanna do this you guys.

00:38 Can’t we just pretend this episode doesn’t exist?

01:22 OMFG I CAN’T ALL THE SWEET IRL MEN ARE CRYING NOOOO IT HURRRTS

04:05 RICH! Ok I feel a little better. Ahaha, he’s growing a beard. It’s got nothing on the quarantine beard he’s rocking nowadays tho

04:22 That whole scene is hilarious but I’m too distracted by Rich to appreciate it properly

05:18 Horsie

05:30 Hey Fassy

05:57 He’s so obsessed with the Luger, oh Hoob ☹

06:07 Ahhh that second where he looks into the camera and fires ☹ He’s so happy

06:31 IT’S SHIFTY MY ANGEL SON, MY ANGEL CHILD, LOOK AT HIIIIIMMMM!!!! MY BABY! I’M SO HAPPY! THIS IS THE ONLY GOOD PART OF THE EPISODE! HE’S SO HUMBLE AND PERF ILY SHIFTY

06:51 He is such a fucking angel, I swear. “What happened to the horse?” PETA would be pleased you care, baby.

07:01 Look at my son, look at his little angel face

07:27 Buck seems a little better??

07:47 Gold.

“Shut up boys.”

“Shutting up, Sarge.”

But notice my angel is perfectly well-behaved

08:00 “That was no rifle.” Shifty just Knows Things.

“What do you see, Shift?”

“Nobody out there.” HE’S JUST A BOSS SNIPER ANGEL ELF BABY OK

08:15 Oh Hoob

08:43 Oh God

09:03 ROE OMG NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES “Did you think it was a German leg, Hoob?” I MEAN LMAO BUT NO

09:33 Nooooooooooo

09:44 Oh God, the way Buck and Perco are cradling his face ☹

10:04 Husbands, do something, reincarnate him or something

10:32 Oh Dick is shivering aw

10:38 Lip, baby, no, do not cover for than incompetent POS

10:48 The husbands are unimpressed

11:39 Nice gloves tho Dike

11:57 “At present, as per usual, but I’ll clarify that with you at a later time.” No. No. He’s asking now. He needs to know now. Wtf.

12:39 IS THAT RICH??

13:12 RICH! BEARDED RICH!

13:23 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS

13:26 Just gonna pause here a little while, excuse me

13:47 Lip is such a boss. We love you Lip

14:13 Bill’s laugh <3 RICH’S SMILE <333

14:48 Dick omg your flirting, so cute. They are in love.

15:20 Fassy is judging you… that means Alicia Vikander is coming for you…

15:50 Omg Nix knows his husband so well

16:24 Aw, Bill and Babe <3 BROTP

17:33 Bill, sweetie, no, I’m sorry but Buck is not fine!

17:58 Oh God the foreboding. Rich ☹ <3

18:01 WTF is Luz smoking LMAO

18:33 RIIIIICH

19:08 “Well, they had a point. You’re an idiot.” Oh Penk. I’ll miss you Penk.

19:31 UGH GTFO. To be fair the actor does a great job with this role.

20:01 Dike is so random. But it’s nice he’s taking an interest??

21:20 NIX LMAO

21:33 Ugh, Dick. Stop. I know it’s to establish a sense of normalcy and ritual but Come. On. Buddy. Lol I love how Nix is just like LMAO NO I’M NOT GOING. I wish I could just say no when asked to do things by my bosses. We know it’s cos Nix can’t bear to be apart from his husband for so long <3

22:33 Guys, don’t be mean. Fassy, no, come on.

22:53 Wtf are Penk and Rich doing…

23:05 LMAO @ Dick and Sink.

“Got to keep the morale up for the folks back home.”

“Why?”

“Damned if I know.”

Iconic. Valid.

23:34 Lol my Joe/Charlie thought he was gonna get in trouble, but Dad just wanted to nag <3

24:24 Oh Bill <3 “Tied me own boots once last week, all by meself.” <3333 Bill please never change.

24:30 Rich <3333

24:36 Riiiiichhhhhh <3

24:48 Johhny ‘unimpressed’ Martin is already looking unimpressed, new kid, watch out, you’re not off to a great start.

24:56 Rich’s helmet still has bullet holes from the last episode, love the continuity <3

25:07 “You’ll find out, son.” Oh, Alley <3

25:17 Rich is hilarious in this scene, he’s having so much fun <3

25:22 Hey Lieb, I’ve missed you

25:46 Riichhh <3

25:53 OMFG that exchange!

               “How are those nuts, sarge?”

               “Doin fine, Bill, nice of you to ask.”

               Wtf Lip!!

26:05 Bye, Fassy!

26:26 Even when he’s blurred by snow, Speirs is intimidatingly good-looking.

27:01 He’s so polite but so scary

27:23 You’re hot, Speirs, so I automatically trust you. Not sure what that says about me but it’s probably not good tbh

27:57 Joe/Charlie has been back five seconds and he’s already out for blood.

28:58 Hey Lee

30:00 Oh God

31:33 Oh no, Joe/Charlie, my baby ☹

33:39 Bill’s here, baby, it’s OK

34:10 I can’t deal with the hilarity of Babe blocked in by the tree while Joe/Charlie is in such a bad way and being done so dirty

34:56 Oh GOD

35:28 Bill </3

36:11 My thoughts exactly, Luz

36:42 Buck ☹

37:41 “Hey Joe, I told you I’d beat you back to the states.” Bill don’t me laugh while I’m crying. Aw, we’ll miss you <3

37:59 Not really the time but fuck it, I am totally digging Luz’s hair now

38:26 I’m so shook. I’ve watched this series a billion times but it still hurts me. Scene after scene, Joe/Charlie in pain, Buck screaming for a medic, God Neal and Kirk are so good.

39:18 Oh God, Buck

40:00 Rich I love you

40:44 Rich <3 ☹

41:22 Noooooooo </3

41:44 No. No. NO.

41:59 NO. NOPE. CANON NOT ACCEPTED. They’re fine. They’re fine, they’re just off-screen for the rest of the series, chillin with Hoob and Renee on like a nice beach somewhere. Drinking maitais and maragaritas and building sandcastles and shit.

44:00 Hit Malarkey the hardest? NO FUCKING WAY, LIP, HIT ME THE HARDEST, MORE LIKE! But in all seriousness, can you imagine losing your friends, not having a body to bury or time to grieve ugh ☹ </3 OK I concede that Malarkey and I can share the grief 50/50. No wait. 60/40. In favour of me.

45:15 Malark, it’s what Hoob would have wanted. I’d ask him but he’s busy sunbathing and keeping the drinks topped up

46:57 We love you Buck

47:14 Bull <3

47:43 Lieb <333

48:10 Hang on, sweetie, Dad isn’t back yet

48:50 It’s OK, Lip, sweetie, you can do it.

49:38 Lip, listen to me, your Dad’s going to fix everything in about ten, fifteen minutes. And he’ll get you a hot boyfriend in the process. It’s all going to be OK.

50:05 Dick, honey, Dike doesn’t understand a thing you’re saying

50:25 Dike’s like lol who the fuck was that guy?

51:17 Lieb is so blood-thirsty <3

51:23 DON’T STOP RUNNING, IDIOT. NEVER STOP RUNNING! THE REST OF US LEARNT THAT IN THE FIRST EPISODE! GOD!

51:40 WTF ARE YOU DOING, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN

52:09 Poor Lee

52:22 NO, FUCK, OMG

53:14 Don’t send my Lee alone!

53:33 Bull. A cigar. Right now? I like Johnny’s beard, suits him.

54:13 “THEY SHOT ME IN MY ASS, BOYS!” Aw Perco. Iconic.

54:36 Legit one of my fave scenes in the history of television. Dick is just so beside himself and desperate and helpless watching his sons stuck and in so much trouble. He’s in full Dad mode, about to run in there to save his boys. Then, and this is so subtle but it’s my fave bit, HE CUTS OFF SINK. HE IGNORES/SPEAKS OVER SINK. DICK! SPEAKS! OVER! SINK! IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD HE EVER DO THAT?! ON WHAT PLANET WOULD HE EVER BE SO DISRESPCTFUL?! THIS ONE, COS HIS SONS NEED HIM NOW AND BEING POLITE AND ADHERRING TO PRINCIPLE AND RANK DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHEN EASY IS IN TROUBLE! AND THEN HE CALLS UP OUR BOY SPEIRS. AND SPEIRS IS SO FUCKING GUNG-HO, BOUNCING ABOUT READY TO SLAUGHTER EVERYONE, SO FUCKIN EXCITED!!

And then there’s Nix, lmao, chillin with his binoculars, super relaxed as long as his husband stays safe, tbh.

55:06 Oh that was the new boy, aw

55:12 BOSS BAMF ICONIC WE STAN

55:20 Here you go, Lip, one BF courtesy of your Dad lol

55:48 Oh GOD I MISS RICH

56:24 LMFAO was that the haystack Dike was behind??

57:00 I.C.O.N.I.C.

57:23 “The astounding thing was, that after he hooked up with I company, he came back.” Annnnnd Lip’s in love.

57:49 Aw happy boys

58:09 Noooooo they’ve been through enough! I’VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH THIS EPISODE OK, FUCK!

58:23 Go on, my angel son, you can do it.

58:36 Go, son. I love you.

58:43 Yes. Good boy.

59:26 Aw Bull piggybacking Perco <3

1:00:23 Oh yay! The church scene!

1:00:39 Look at my angel son <3

1:00:48 Hey Lieb

1:00:54 IT’S TAB! HEY TAB!

1:01:09 Babe <3 GRANT <3

1:01:29 Ahahaha Roe, I see you strategically placed yourself where you could stare at Babe 😉

1:01:59 Only 63 men left? Oh </3

1:02:00 Ahh Joe/Charlie <3 Bill <3 We love and miss you

1:02:20 RICH <333333 I LOVE YOU RICH <3333333 GOODBYE RICH <333333333333

1:02:39 Fuck Speirs is hot

1:02:53 The flirting <3 shooting looks at each other aw

1:03:09 Boys, stop checking each other out. You’re literally in a church full of nuns, go somewhere else to expend your sexual tension, jeez.

1:03:41 Flirting via talk of Roman soldiers, I dig it

1:04:28 Oh God, guys, this bit. Other than the propensity of my angel son, compared to usual, this is the only good part of the episode, I am here for the Speirton!

               “You don’t have any idea who I’m talking about, do you?” HIS FACE IS SO SOFT

               “No, Sir.” Lip, sweetie.

               “Hell, it was you, first sergeant.”

Speirs’ is in love right back. And his continued flirting re battlefield commission GOD. The way he looks at Lip… you deserve the hottest guy in the whole show, Lip, proud of you sweetie.

1:06:48 Annnnnd everything fucking hurts.

 To summarise, I am kinda appeased by the glorious glory that is Spierton. Rich and Penk and Hoob and Renee are FINE. THEY JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE OFF-SCREEN. IT’S FINE. I’M FINE ABOUT IT.

[sharkfish]

Soooo, let's say hypothetically if I've started dabbling in the Sterek fandom, could you recommend some of your favorite fics? You've got excellent taste!

here i go here i go here i go girls what’s my weakness STILES AND DEREK!  (*my brain just played me far more of that song than i thought i knew)

(i’m not really involved with the sterek fandom on tumblr so i don’t know most of these peep’s tumblr urls if they exist – plz tag in replies if you recognize anyone) 

like 98% of these are E rated >:)

everything is in alphabetical order EXCEPT!!!!!!! this is very possibly my favorite fic of all time and i’ve read it a thousand times and will keep rereading it until the day i die!!!! 

Love Runs Wild by DevilDoll (9.5k)

derek and stiles model for a softcore werewolf skin mag. basically, porn of stiles being all pretty and biteable and then a werewolf being all bitey, except of course derek and stiles shoot together A LOT, and when stiles shows up to a shoot with a hickey, derek LOSES HIS GODDAMN MIND (in the best way)

“You’ve got a hickey on the back of your neck!” A Neckz ‘n Throats story.

Alpha Complex by Hatteress (goddammitstacey) (3.4k)

oh, you’re interested in some subby bottom derek? let me tell you a little story….

“Hold still,” Stiles says, hand clamping down on the back of Derek’s neck to keep him from turning and it’s laughable, really – the thought that that would be enough to hold him. Except it is. Because Stiles’ fingers are gripping the nape of Derek’s neck, pressure sure and hard and Derek- Derek can’t fucking breathe.

Bravery is a Loaded Gun by LiviKate (17.3k)

this is a fic i go back to over and over when i just need to be punched in the heart. i’m a ho for stiles (stupidly!!!) thinking he’s somehow below derek’s level attraction-wise, and this has that in droves. it’s also about derek’s recovery from the sexual abuse he suffered with kate, in a way that i think is done with a (deservedly) delicate hand. (i’m holding myself in from going off on a [positive] tangent about the way fandom talks about derek’s abuse, but i have Thoughts.) 

“No, I’m not asexual, Stiles,” Derek said shortly.

The teen’s heart sank in his chest, his palms going clammy and his neck prickling with the familiar feeling of rejection.

“So then it’s,” Stiles swallowed, throat clogging, unable to give voice to the facts he would much rather ignore. The silence grew between them, growing tense the longer it was left. For the first time in years, Stiles couldn’t speak. The weight of inadequacy held down his typical stream of useless banter. What does one say in this sort of situation? ‘I’m sorry you don’t find me attractive?’

Cornerstone by Vendelin for foreverblue_navy (83k)

this was the first sterek fic i loved and therefore the gateway drug. it’s so lovely in so many ways, AND ALSO, any time someone is like “k i’m only saying this cuz i’m your bff, not bc i have any sort of romantic inclinations or anything crazy, but i’d make the sacrifice to practice kissing with you, just to help you out” 

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) by yodasyoyo (5.7k)

you know, i don’t read fics with kids (either them as kids or as parents) very often, but i’m kind of wondering why not, because i do love a good best friends from childhood to duh you morons lovers story. obviously this is a slightly different twist but the things i loved about it where the same sorts of feelings as that

Stiles is six years old when he first hears Derek’s voice in his head.

Or what happens if you have a soulmate bond, in a universe where soulmate bonds don’t exist?

Promise You’ll Look After Him by DiscontentedWinter (9.9k)

this is honestly one of the most powerful fics i’ve ever read. it’s the pov of stiles’s dad after stiles is sexually assaulted, so it fucking HURTS, but ultimately, it’s a story about profound love, both familial and romantic. (sorrynotsorry: sheriff stilinski is the father john winchester should’ve been.)

Sheriff Stilinski is used to dealing with victims of violent crime. He knows how to approach kids who’ve been beaten and sexually assaulted.

Except this time it’s his son.

It’s Stiles.

Sell Your Body to the Night by Dira Sudis (dsudis) (121k)

i can’t remember who on tumblr convinced me to read this? i remember someone telling me about it, and then emphasizing that the watersports tag is only for a single scene at the beginning of ch9 that is entirely skippable. i knew my stupid ass was going to read it anyway so mostly i was just afraid something was going to be awakened. IT WASN’T THANK GOD but this fic is so fucking incredible i don’t even care that derek paid like $5000 to pee on stiles. i can’t believe i just typed that sentence. THIS STORY HURTS A LOT!!!!!!! but then it feels better a lot <333 

“No,” he repeated impatiently. “I’m not a cop. I’m someone who wants to exchange my money for your sexual services. I was told you were in that line of work.”

“I, uh, yeah, sorry,” Stiles said. He glanced around again and then up–the full moon was almost directly overhead. Just one of those nights, maybe. “Yeah, I am. I do that.”

Sour Kush by alisvolatpropiis (15k - series)

stonerstonerstonerstonerfic (there is a pt2, read it also)

Stiles mentally curses Erica, because in all of her warnings about how brusque this guy could be, she forgot mention that he’s also hotter than the fucking sun. If Stiles had any lingering questions about his sexuality, they’d be completely settled by what this guy is doing to him. In fact, he might not even be gay anymore. He might be in the midst of crossing into some yet-to-be-named sexuality that’s all about a scruffy black beard and alarming green eyes and muscles and tattoos and this guy’s everything ever.

The guy’s name is Derek, his lust-addled brain supplies distantly.

Well that settles it, then. Stiles is Dereksexual.

Sweeter Than Honey by the_painless_moustache (9.4k)

this is a fic that made me start thinking about what kind of non-sexual symptoms an omega might have during heat. stiles is a totally adorable disaster and derek is a totally adorable alpha trying to awkwardly court him. and none of their friends appreciate stiles like they should >:| 

Stiles is probably the worst omega ever, which drives every one of his friends insane. Except for, surprisingly, Derek.

That’s Why He Lets Him In by alisvolatpropiis (12k - series)

this series is…. holy fuck. this is a stiles that was raised by sam and dean winchester as a hunter (just referenced, they don’t appear on screen). derek is a werewolf stiles let get away, and now they hate-fuck, except not really, bc they are desperately in love. it’s a little darker in tone but the writing is just – fuckin whoa. 

Derek was about to rip Stiles’ throat out with his teeth and the crazy kid had just laughed, no trace of fear in his scent. He looked into Derek’s enraged eyes and smiled, welcoming his death.

That’s why he lets him in.

Trust Me by Areiton @areiton (4.8k)

in which a destiel & a sterek have a foursome. iirc, arei had written this (unbeknownst to be) like 2 days before i started obsessing about d2cs and wrote my fic mai tai. if i had known about this fic i probably wouldn’t have bothered writing my own xD 

“What the hell are they doing here,” Stiles snaps.

“Do you trust me,” Derek asks, squeezing his hand and the tension and anger drains out of Stiles as he licks his lips.

You Were a Kindness When I Was a Stranger by DevilDoll (8k)

there is a specific sentence in this FANTASTIC bdsm fic that makes me run in circles screaming every time i even THINK about it omfg 

“It’s not all handcuffs and spankings and learning to deep throat.” This is an AU with consensual BDSM sex acts, in which Derek supports Stiles financially in exchange for a sexual relationship. Stiles is of legal age.

Unsaid the Word by aerialiste @aerialiste  (20.7k)

this is some Good Clean Academic AU Fun. i’ve read it multiple times and it’s a delight over and over. 

Derek Hale, Stiles thought, indignant, was a goddamned scholiastic menace.

In which tenure-track Professor Derek Hale is polite and friendly to Stiles Stilinski, ABD, every year at the academic conference they both attend; and Stiles tries to be contented with pining after him—until after one night at a bar, far too many doubles, and some injudicious texting, thanks to his total inability to know when to stop talking, Stiles just may have ruined everything.

plzplzplzplz if you enjoy these fics, leave the author some comment & kudos love and share with your friends!!! 

[garfieldsladybird]

for some reason i haven’t asked yet - but how are you? i feel as though we haven’t spoken for so long x

we haven’t talked in so long (i think its been like maybe a month or just a few weeks) and i dislike it. i miss you a lot.

how am i? well today i feel great! like im just here and im liven. not in a bad way. in a good way. but also im goin with the floww!! :DD

— okay so i woke up good, i was typing that feeling good but now… im just here. idk what’s going on and/or what is happening. im now in 6th period, i wrote that in 3rd. and i give up on thinking. im gonna go with the flow on fuckin everything now.

with everything else? other stuff? i have lots of hw i need to get done but i will get those done! i also have a really bad headache rn ngl, that might be bc im smoking (im hitting my pen) it hurts. (still have one sadly) — im also so confused with whats going on in my relationship. we’re slowing down as me and him have both said but what does that mean and include? he also never texts me(first and in general) he texts other people way more then me (females, they’re all friends, and i know the ppl), this one person tho- they’re only friends but she’s way closer with him then i am with him so im a little jelly. but eh. oh and me amd him never get alone time either so its always him, friends, me. fr. but it’s going good tho (i hope so/i hope it is) <333

idk. im just gonna try to be happy for the rest of the day! i have one more period after this, math (which im liking bc i understand some of the stuff we’re doing!!). after that period/after school, im going to Mcdonalds (omg do you guys have mcd’s?)- nvm im not going mcd’s. but me and friends are all going to a persons house (who is in the friend group), watching a movie and drinking hot chocolate! and also waiting for another friend to get to the house and then we’ll play a game!! i hope that’s fun and makes my day better :)

but yeah that’s it. in general and all round, im okay.

now onto youuuu!! i saw that you post saying you had a shitty day and im sorry about that love. :( i hope tomorrow is better! if you want to rant/talk to me about it, you can, i dont mind! sometimes just sleeping the rest of the day away is great! meaning just getting into bed and forget about everything happening outside of that bed, put on your favorite show/comfort show or the show your watching rn and just relax… :) ik that may not sound like an option if your stressing over things but if you need to take a mental break and take a moment for yourself, do it!! i love you and im sending you so much love!!! 🫶🫶🫶💗💗💗😽😽😽 xxxxxxxxxxx

[obannthepunished]

This weeks notes Mostly transcription this week i think, i tried my best for nott’s scene. as usual ignore the asterisks because theyre just notes to myself.

peace

Molly is Nervous (tm) abiut sticking around, or going to the gentleman

theres a fight in the evening nip, beau is fucking excited its thedd (halfling from sewers) and lewis (one of the ones that had run from the research facility)

N: "I got three gold on Thedd" M: Seems a bit late for a wager at this point N: Just you and me! M:.... fair. I'm in.

Thedd wins by standing on lewis' throat til he passes out holy shit M: (drops coins into Nott's hand) N, smug: Thank you :)

oh now Nott and Beau are fighting jesus christ. C: "I cast Haste on Beauregard." Laura: YOU PIECE OF SHIT **

J: Inflict Wounds (17 dmg) ((Fjord, changing his voice: "I GOT 5 GOLD ON THE HORNY ONE)) B: WHAT THE FUCK JESTER, Stunning Strike, (7dmg, jes fails con save (6), she is stunned, extra attack from haste, 6dmg) J: (is stunned for this round, until the end of beaus turn) B: Beaus the shit outta her ( 12dmg, 6dmg) ((MOLLY blinds her)) B: still goin, but misses 2 of em, hits on the third (12dmg) J: (goes down)

caleb: goes for the low five, and Beau just.... ignores him unintentionally bless.

Frumpkin is sent to lick the blood off of jesters face, Beau cleans her up <33

They are called to the gentleman's side

offered a forward of 500gp and a pot of 4500g to travel to Shady Creek Run, the criminals town, and free and bring back Ophelia... something, who corresponds often with the gentleman

the tldr of the second (250 adv, 1750 pot) is that the swamps are dangerous for the gentlemans safehouse which has gone dark.

theyre promised resources for missions from the gentleman

Jester: "IS HE MOIST"(re the gentleman)

they take on both, starting with the swamps. The Gentleman advises they travel the 70 miles above ground.

Fjord is so fuckin smooth talky wtf. they get greater heling potion(s)?? + cure disease? Caleb's gettin some ink + paper, but its not good for spells 8(

Nott keeps making water puns. im counting 4. and a hankie.

Jester wand of smiles Kutha again, poor kutha 8(

Caleb + beau ( + assumedly nott) go to pumat's

have they paid their inn tab??

Cay buys incense for rituals, probably find familiar lbh. he also gets his magical ink+parchment.

Beau is interested in the bracers of defence. Theyre like 1200gp tho arent they??? B: how much PS: 1200 gold B:HOLY SHIT PUMAT. [snip] B: HOLY SHIT PUMAT(S).

C: (tells beau he cast haste) B: YOU SLIP SOMETHIN IN MY DRINK CALEB??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN

they have 6 horses, 2 pulling, 6 solo. Jes is driving thr cart.

Caleb: (brings up the feywild) Jester: oh the traveller has told me about that!!

Frumpkin is (one of) the first cats yasha has seen 8'O shes fuckin loving it **

lots of fucking soldiers heading to war. hundreds, if not thousands.

night falls as they reach the origin of the. road. they cant find a campground because tal rolled SHIT even with advantage.

Jester + Fjord take first watch. (13. Nothing) Yasha + Beau on second watch. (14. Also Nothing.) B: We should huddle together for warmth??? Y: Fr- Frumpkin is keeping me. very warm. are you cold??? do you want my, my cloak? B: No, no my, my (jacket??? cant remember what she said) is fine, its htin, but its warm Then they talk about Yasha ands this is the furthest shes ever been. Y: "i like this stuff. Grass, and, things. you know." B: You appreciate grass?

B: What was your favourite part of xorhas? Y: I... dont know if i HAD a favourite part

this was the CUTEST shit

third watch is Nott + Molly (10, nothing happens) taliesin trying a jester voice makes me the heart eyes emoji

goblins canonically steal children what THE FUCK. And EAT them. But Nott, apparently, has not eaten a child. "My clan, we STOLE from people. money and clothing and things. And when things got tough, we'd steal the people too." Goblins dont do family. "I do not have an urge to kill and eat children" "i have cravings for... rats... cats-" (Caleb snaps) Frumpkin goes back to the feywild Yasha: =(

taliesin taking watch after rolling shit cmon. he gets 16. Noon, broken cloud cover, a tiny distant curl of smoke. oh not again. its a mile away tho so like

the smoke is coming from a small shack.

"For you, Fjord, I will make Frumpkin a bird." He doesn't though but its the sentiment.

Yasha gets shoulder frumpkin back!

The shack door opens to "an elderly fullblood orc" with hair and beard and all that shit.

for 1 (one) gp a month, you TOO can bother a whole old man orc. Jesus christ he had a battleaxe. puts it down, invites yasha and molly in. THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY Molly buys hide armor + 2lb of meat for 16gp. M: Perception check 10. Matt: "Okay." There is sOMETHING SUS about this.

and theyre off again, i am glad for this. i do not like elderly orc man.

yasha and molly double up on that goof "we totally killed him, three times." its very good

M + Y: What kind of meat is this? (fuck their rolls) its meat! its good meat!

M+Y take first watch, its 12. Nothing happens. Yasha collects some flowers to press awww. N+C Second watch, they roll w advantage lmao. 22. something is going to happen. "you hear the snapping of a twig. you see a shifting of shadow. a few things" Cay casts mage armor

Two arrows for Caleb. con saving throw. probably poison. 10. its poison. he is poisoned. fucks frickin sake. is it gnolls?? is it goblins??? hyenas??? furred barking things. wolves.

two ogres, a cluster of wolves, and goblin-like creatures

initiative order:

Beau: Nat20, 24 Goblins Caleb: 18 Fjord, Molly: 16 Ogres Nott: 15 Yasha, Jester: 6 Wolves

B: Jester, puppies!!

Yasha and Jester shrug off poison of those that hit them.

Caleb casts slow on one ogre. unrelated liam is so good???

oh yeah eldritch blast gets two beams of eldritch blast at lv3

Molly radiants once scimitar and cuts RIGHT through one of em. misses the second.

Caleb hit with a javelin, 4-5 inches into his stomach, holding itself upright. Caleb keeps the spell going.

Nott pretends shes one of them and aims for Caleb, hits the book instead. and nails it.

Jester (traumatised): CALEB!!! cure wounds 2nd level. but he is pretty fucked so its ok. he heals to full its ok its ok. Jester cares so much

Yasha pulls necrotic shroud! which as someone who cant watch TM, this is a reveal for me! :D

J: (to cale) Youre alive! How did- C: (monotonous) haha! funny, joke.

Fjord explodes a goblin Molly cuts one in half, vertically

Molly curses the ogre attacking beau

Nott shoots the ogre, and then the goblin next to her... but misses and is fucked

Yash gets the hdywtdt on one of the ogres

Beau @ necrotic shroud!yasha: you look... dope. You look FUCKIN HOT LETS GO.

cay has magic missile!

fjord gets the second hdywtdt w eldritch blast.

cay n molly go to retrieve stolen goods from goblin but apparently just Molly

Yasha necrotic shrouds when shes startled awake. F: Can you fly? Y: ...no J: Have you tried? Y:... yeah.

Yasha n Caleb have a conversation in celestial C: No really, are you an angel? Y: of sorts, i guess [snip] C: You will have to explain this now, or later. do you want to explain this now, or later? Y: i- ill explain it, just, maybe we should clean up first!

i have no idea whats going on but i heard marisha say "bad dragon" and im gonna die

J: Nott, are you okay? Was it weird to fight other goblins? N: it was... rewarding. I'm only sad that... one got away. B: Nott, do you share the same hatred in yourself? [snip] N: Do... do I hate myself? No. I'm... I'm cool. F: You seem excited to hurt your own kind. N: I know, I'm a goblin, for as long as I've been alive I haven't felt comfortable in, in there. I havent felt comfortable in my skin. It feels like I shouldnt be, i dont fit in with them. I feel, this feels WRONG, like I should be in a different body. The way they act, the way they are, it's not ME. They do horrible things to people, and they seem fine with it. I never felt the same with them. It's not that I don't like myself or anything, I think I'm okay, I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands, or my feet. They just feel wrong. I just want to be... different. C: Was there anyone you were close to? N: Not in my clan, but there was... someone. They tried me on different jobs but I was not a soldier, i was not a good cook, not good at sweing, or building, they stuck me with the torturer. I was the torturers assistant. there was a halfling village not far away and they captured someone from the village, they wanted me to kill him, but instead, I was kind to him. And he started talking, and my... fellow gobbies didn't like that, but they allowed it, because i was getting valuable information. [about halflings resources] I became friends with him. He was nice. J: What happened to him? N: I hope he got away J: Did you leave before him? N: We left together [snip J: Did you love him? N: .... I don't know. The halfling taught her how to speak in halfling, taught her about alchemy, when he has taught her everything, the goblins said to kill him. And she didnt want to. so she got REAL drunk, and shot another goblin in the ass. N: I hope he got away. We ran off in separate directions. I've been running ever since.

+1 to the quest log, find Nott's friend.

Beaus trying to be nice i love her.

C: I do not care. I know who you are now. (<333)

B: I think we're all a little bit of island of misfits.

F: You showed a lot of bravery tonight B: Nott, The brave. J: Maybe there is a comma.

Y: Nott, I'm sorry we made fun of you eating children N: I HAVE NOT EATEN CHILDREN

B: What got you locked up with this guy? (Caleb) N: Being me. Stealing food? C: You told me it was cherry wine. N: OKAY IT WAS BOOZE.

it is now raining.

M: Well, I'm sleeping underneath the cart! if anyone wants to join me... J: We wont all fit! M: We'll snuggle. *

Molly + Jester are under the cart.

"i tasted a baby once. ONCE. they were handing around a bowl, I didn't know-" -N Liam takes Sam's flask and takes a swig so i assume caleb does the same in canon C: "Who am I to judge?"