#so yesterday and today we barely got any interaction just a task and then she leaves so im just like...can i get some guidance.. please..

[ayyponine]

reentering my art hoe era or smth. museum by day art class by night

[beatleszeppelin]

You're A … Inexperienced Ch. 4

Chapter Summary: You spend every waking hour of the next day hoping for Daryl back, you don't know if you'll be mad, sad, scared or happy when he returns. But when you are notified of his return, and you find out he's hurt, things go a bit further, or should I say a base further?

Category: Friends to Lovers, Mild Smut, just a good ol’ time

Paring: Daryl x reader (second person)

Warnings/Includes: General Walking Dead grossness, Smut, swearing, use of weapons, non-graphic hunting, mention of past child abuse, (let me know if you see anything else)

Word count: 2.5k

Chapter 4: I trust you.

“Carol,” You yelled getting her attention.

She smiled back, a sympathetic look, but endearing and all knowing. “I heard what happened last night with you two.”

“Did he tell you?” The inquiry slipped immediately from your lips.

“On his way out he did,” the corners of her mouth pulled back into a smile, and she patted your shoulder.

“Out?”

“Went on a run, early this morning. Daryl stopped and talked to Carl and I on his way out the gates.”

“What did he say happened,” You begged, wanting to know the true reason he’s left you high and dry last night.

“Not very much, most was implied.” She held her arm out, guiding you to a near by table. You both sat together, and pried on the other’s interactions with the elusive conversationalist.

From what you gathered, he left this morning in a hurry, and he left mad. Mad at himself for fucking it up with you, whatever he thought it was. He didn’t tell anyone what he was doing in detail, but he didn’t take much water and nearly no food. He should be back today, based on Carol and Carl’s sleuthing.

But the day went on, and lunch and dinner came and went, and he didn’t make an appearance through the gates. You took the day off from whatever tasks you were supposed to do at the farm, with the animals, and crops, to instead take over a full day of gate work. You didn’t read a book, or draw stupid little pictures in the margins of other peoples papers that were left. You looked out, on guard, watching the shadows change on the road ahead.

Sometime after the shadows left, and the ground turned fully dark, your eyes fell heavy from the lack of sleep you had been allowed the night before. So you turned in. Sleep didn’t come easily, thinking of Daryl out there, mad at himself. He could have run away, he could have left for good. He could be out there hurt, or worse. The thoughts wracked your head, until you woke up the next morning, you don’t remember falling asleep, but you must have sometime early this morning.

You got up and dressed with no effort, for maximum efficiency. The first place you hit was the gate, it was a shift change, so you spoke with Carol on her way in.

“Do you know anything, has he come back yet?”

“You haven’t seen him yet?” she asked as if his whereabouts were seemingly obvious.

“No, I didn’t even know he was back, where is he?” You begged.

“He showed up at the gates late last night. He’s in the infirmary, he got hurt on his run yesterday,” She said, without too much concern, but it didn’t stop you from walking to him, but she did add, “he’s fine, by the way,” while you were still in ear shot.

You walked to him, but by the time you noticed you were running. You couldn’t tell what you were feeling as you braced yourself to see Daryl in whatever state he may be in. You were mad at him for leaving, but happy about his return. Sad that he felt the need to leave in the first place, and scared about his injuries.

You opened the door to the infirmary, walked into the rows of cells and stark white bed sheets that have so regularly been changed. Your quick lope took you to Daryl’s cell, the one that you heard Hershel’s voice and quite grumbles coming from. His monotonous pained breathing served as a compass, guiding you directly to him, without any consideration to which direction your feet were moving.

You stood on the other side of the bars, seeing into his room much like he must have seen into yours just a few nights ago. Hershel was tending to bandages wrapped around Daryl’s abdomen. There was no blood, though. His bare chest was wrapped up, around his ribcage and over his shoulder. He lay on his side, another wrap encasing his knee, was propped up with a throw pillow someone must have retrieved on a run.

As he lay there looking up to you, you stand in the doorway, sorting through the files in your head of possible things you could say to him.

“Welp, I’ll be back to see you later, and remember to take it easy on your body. No strenuous activity.” Hershel picked up and saw himself out, patting you on the back as he left.

Seconds long pause lingered over the heads of both of you, but was broken when you simply asked, “What the fuck?”

“‘m sorry,” he tucked his chin down to his chest.

“I really don’t care if you’re sorry right now, I just want to know what you did, and maybe why?” You said genuinely.

“Didn’t mean to hurt you, an’ when I did, just thought I should leave, always better out there.” He mumbled.

“What do you mean hurt me? You thought you hurt me. Look at you, laying here all wrapped up,” You couldn’t fathom him leaving because he thought he did something wrong, when what hurt you most was the fact that he had left in the first place.

“I knew what you’d wanted, but it didn’t happen, an’ I thought you’d be mad about it.”

“No, I wasn’t mad about whatever happened while you were in my cell, I was mad about everything that happened after. I didn’t want you to leave.” You paused for a breath, “I thought you left because of something I did, and it turns out you did. And what did you mean what I wanted?”

“Well,” He raised his chin, and his eyes kept darting in between your and the floor. “You wanted to fix me, but you can’t change the unchangeable.”

You felt disheartened, his words hurt, not because what he was saying was with mal intent, but because this is what he genuinely thought. He thought that you wanted to sleep with him to fix him, to some how change this broken man that sit before you, but he couldn’t be more wrong. He wasn’t broken, not to you, not to anyone here but himself. “I don’t want you to change; I just don’t want you to have only bad memories.”

“What if we try again, an I still don’t like it?” He said, voice breaking.

“We only try when, or if you want to. I’m always down.” You said, finally walking into the cell, and siting on the stool Hershel was on before.

“And what if I never want to…”

You cut him off, “have sex?”

He raised his head, and then nodded slowly.

“Then, we’ll never have sex, and I will be happy being with you, because you are my friend, and I love you.”

He reached out and grabbed your hand from you lap. And he simply held on to it.

“I do have one more thing to ask of you,” he looked, “how did you get hurt?” His face turned red again, he cleared his throat. “Was out, on my bike. Just riding. I was mad, at myself, at the world, so I was going fast, yeah?” You nodded. “I saw a walker, I tried to stop, but I’s on a patch of sand, and I slid, and fell off.”

You laughed and shook your head, then you pulled your hand out of his for a second, and he subconsciously reached out for it again feeling the emptiness. You grabbed the blanket from his bed, and draped it over his his body, stopping just before the curve his waist. You were scared to touch his bandages, not knowing how much pain he was in. You sat back down, and took his hand in yours, and his shoulders visibly dropped at the connection. “So what did Hershel say?”

He brushed his hair down into his face with one hand, you quickly undid this gesture by pushing all of his hair back behind his ears. “He said I’ve got a dislocated knee, from where the bike fell on me, and I slipped a rib, probably from sliding.” You smiled at him, sympathetically, causing him to bashfully add, “t’s nothin’ bad though.”

Days later, maybe a week, when Daryl could walk (with assistance), you took him out on a makeshift date. You planned where you would take him, a field, outside the walls, with a pond right next to it.

You drove his bike, he sat behind you holding on to your waist, one leg bent, with his foot flat on the pegs, the other straight out, as to not bend his hurt knee. You rode around for a while, you thought he needed it, before circling back to where you wanted to take him. “This is it,” you said as you arrived to a flat spot of land, encompassed by weeds that danced in the wind.

“What’re we to be doing here,” he asked hobbling off of the bike, he’s normally so comfortable on.

You pulled a blanket and some bread and jam out of the saddle bags on the bike, that he was still leaning on, as a crutch. You laid it down. And set the food on top. Then you walked back about ten feet to where Daryl leaned, and slowly eased his arm over your shoulder, seeing as to not hurt his ribs. Then you helped him walk over to where you planned to spend the day with him. You dropped his arm, and it hit his side with a wince.

He held his side, and not so gracefully slid his leg out from him, so it wouldn’t catch any weight on his way to the ground.

“What does it feel like?” You gestured to his leg once he had hit the earth.

He shrugged, “Dunno, like it’s tight when bent, an’ hurts anytime ya put weight on it. Can’t use crutches neither, cause those’d hit ma ribs.”

“You really fucked yourself up didn’t you?”

Breathily, he laughed.

You ate, breaking bread with your hands and passing the jam jar between you. The pond

was enchanting, just as the lake that you bathed in before was. This was safe, though. It was close to the fence, and you each had weapons at the ready.

“Been thinkin’,” Daryl said, with a mouth full of bread.

“Yeah, what about?” he caught your attention with his tone.

“Said, we could try again, right?”

“Right.” you replied, instantly knowing what he was talking about.

“What if, I know… What if the part that I don’t want ta… ���s there anythin’ else?” He said chewing on his lip to mumble through the words.

“What?” You said scrunching your nose up.

“The whole putin’ yer,” he mumbled so you didn’t catch all of the words, “jus doesn’t feel right.”

“So you’re talking about trying stuff up until the second or third base, not going all the way?” You asked trying to understand.

“Yeah, somethin’ like that.”

You scooted over to him on the blanket, and held your hand up to cup his face. Once you did, and he eased into the touch, you ran your thumb over his cheek. Your fingers were spread, to make room for his ear, under his hair. You looked at his eyes, and he looked everywhere but yours. You leaned in, stoping for a second to whisper, “First base,” and then went in for a soft kiss. It wasn’t quick, but it didn’t last long before he bit your lip, the way he always does his own. Pulling back a little you said “Check.”

You unbuttoned your shirt, but left it on, billowing open in the light breeze. You let him have his fun, as you watched him, poke and prod you in likeness to a child studying a bug. He grew more and more comfortable with the actions, as he encompassed your body with his hands like a sightless person would use a walking stick.

As his hand fell down over your shoulder, your bra strap slipped down, causing him to freeze and wait for your cue. You just unhooked it, and slid the other strap down to match. He withdrew his hands, and started chewing on his thumb. “Would you like me to take it off, I mean it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

He nodded, thumb still in place.

You slipped it off through your shirt sleeve, and watched him take his vest off, and lay it down on the ground. You then helped him pull his shirt off over his head, which you and Carol have been taking turns helping him do, since his accident.

“I would say second base has been accomplished, what about you?”

He sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth and mumbled an “mmm hmm.”

“Wanna try third or shall we wait for another day?”

“What exactly is third?” He asked.

“Hand stuff.” You said blatantly, awaiting his reaction.

He thought for a second, nodded, and said, “trust you.”

His words made your stomach bubble, it was excitement and it made you feel like you were about to throw up. You pushed those feelings down, and hooked your fingers in his belt, pulling him in for a kiss. This time, unlike previously, you didn’t lead it. His lips met yours and neither of you moved without the other.

You did however take the lead when you reached down and rested your hand on his leg. You slowly moved your hand up, and his breath hitched. “Are you okay, does something hurt?” you paused.

“Nah, just needed a sec, good now, though.”

Through his pants, you felt that he needed no time to get ready, so you got straight to work. You undid his button on his pants, unzipping as well. He halted all movement; focusing on breathing and staring at your hand slowly working itself up and down. He shut his eyes tight, and moved your hand.

“What, was that too much.” You asked, needing him to tell you what he wasn’t liking.

“It’s a lot, if you touch me ‘gain, I’m gonna…” his face was red and he grabbed his dick tightly.

“Open your eyes,” you coaxed.

“Can’t need to concentrate.” “If you need to, just do it. I’ll take it as a compliment.” You said moving his hand away. “May I?” You asked.

“I trust you.” He said barely above a whisper.

You finished him off in a matter of seconds, his pants were down mid-thigh, and you pulled his rag out to clean him up. He pressed his index and ring finger to the bridge of his nose, acting as a shield from his bright red face; he radiated chagrin.

As his heart pounded, and his breathing was still accelerated, he leaned on you, and whispered “I trust you, and I love you.”

And you could have spent the day there in that position, with him breathing heavily into your neck. And his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist. And although you got home later that day, and went to your separate sleeping quarters, that doesn’t mean this was the last time, it was only his first.

[tallstars-rewrite]

Chapter 26

chapter list / previous / next

Tallpaw had grown leaner and stronger in the past moons. He insisted on extra battle training whenever he could, and peace at the border never lasted very long. They guarded too closely to allow any more ambushes, but while ShadowClan didn’t push further, tensions remained high and there had been more than one violent skirmish. Tallpaw had made sure he was a part of at least one, and he didn’t let himself get distracted. He threw himself into it almost as fiercely as Shrewpaw, at one point even managing to send a warrior nearly twice his size screeching back under the Thunderpath with a well aimed blow to the nose. Some of the older warriors even paid him compliments.

“Never thought you'd be such a fighter when you were young and meek!” they said. Tallpaw wanted to be warmed by the praise, but he didn't take it to heart. Fighting is what a brave warrior had to do, and that was what he repeated to himself, but in truth he never felt less like himself when he did it. He spit insults and fury, trying to work up the fire he knew he should have, but all the while he felt like he was playing a character like in one of the visitor’s silly plays. The part of a furious battle hardy warrior, detached from himself and merely watching his body fighting, then spitting the taste of blood from his mouth afterwards. The fights had avoided fatal casualties so far, but they were still bloody.

The rush kept him focused, but still, he was restless with feeling like there had to be more he could do. There persisted a disapproving voice inside his head, egging him on and telling him he could try harder than he was. Tallpaw always had a nagging voice like that in the back of his mind, but it got meaner and criticized incessantly like an angry tick inside his ear. However good he got, he needed to get better. Forcing himself to focus on improving as fast as he could was all he had. Letting that focus slip for even a moment allowed him to dwell too much on what had gone wrong. 

And many things had indeed gone wrong.

His determination looked like recklessness, so he’d been told by a couple “concerned” parties. The biggest one being Briarpaw, who looked at him strangely ever since he had returned to camp during the storm that night, as if sensing that something had changed in him. Whether Tallpaw was being seen for another enemy claw scratch, or an intense training session, his friend's distress was sharp in the air however much he tried to hide it.

“You’ve reopened this cut into your ear so many times I don’t think it’s going to heal together again.” Briarpaw murmured.

Tallpaw was in the medicine den for the second time in a quarter moon, already itching to go again. Ryewhisker sat nearby licking a small scrape on her foreleg. She looked up at him, clearly a little cross still from getting scuffed up in an earlier training.

“At this point I think he wants to lose that ear,” she said.

Dawnstripe and Hareflight were hesitant to train Shrewpaw and Tallpaw together these days, for good reason, and Ryewhisker offered to take his place as an extra partner. It was a lucky thing that patience was one of her greatest virtues, as it wasn’t the first time Tallpaw had gotten a bit carried away. Today he tackled them both over a shallow ledge into a nasty bramble patch. He’d been sure to let her land on him so he took the brunt of the blow. But his ear had gotten caught on a thick tendril. The ear didn’t compare to the bruises, but Ryewhisker was fine, save for a small scrape.

“Well, I’ve got two ears, I could spare one.” Tallpaw said dryly. He meant it as a joke, but Ryewhisker just rolled her eyes, and, judging by how he tensed, Briarpaw was even less amused. 

“You should be more careful next time.” Briarpaw mumbled. He said it with less force each time, as he’d been repeating it a lot the past moon, and at this point he knew that Tallpaw was not inclined to listen. Each time Tallpaw nodded and said he would, as earnestly as he could. The trips to the den were most of the time he spent with Briarpaw these days. 

Briarpaw never fully recovered from losing his mother. His eyes were still hollow and he still walked around by himself, pacing back and forth near the places where Brackenwing used to be, as if looking for her to get advice. But there was no one there of course. Tallpaw longed terribly to ease his pain, but he knew now more than ever that he could not ease any cat's pain. He could only throw himself into protecting the clan so nothing like it could happen again.

Ryewhisker eyed the medicine cat apprentice and his messy store of herbs. His last patient had left in a hurry before they got there.

“I heard your brother tried to storm ShadowClan territory by himself yesterday.” Ryewhisker shook her head in exasperation. “I can’t begin to imagine what he thought he was going to achieve. He’s better today, I hope? Certainly didn’t seem to be slowed down when he left your den earlier.”

Briarpaw hummed absentmindedly, ”Yes, I suppose we’ll see whether Tallpaw or Shrewpaw loses their ears first. That seems to be your latest competition.”

Tallpaw sniffed in forced amusement. Briarpaw knew perfectly well that he and Shrewpaw didn’t have friendly competitions anymore.  But he couldn’t deny it was true that pushing ahead of his fellow apprentice was very much on his mind, in spite of, or...perhaps because of their ongoing crumbling relationship. 

Shrewpaw. The other part of his life steadily going downhill. Shrewpaw certainly didn’t have to pretend at playing battle-hungry fury like Tallpaw did. Of course it didn’t surprise him that Shrewpaw was in the medicine den as often as he was, perhaps even more, but at different times. Hawkheart scheduled to make sure of that. If they were both in the same den with Briarpaw, the medicine cat apprentice might faint from stress. Although Tallpaw and Shrewpaw could agree on very little these days, they made a silent pact to keep their disagreements well away from Briarpaw. But as soon as Briarpaw was out of earshot, all bets were off. 

Shrewpaw’s temper was more out of control than ever. He was well past due to get his warrior name, and indeed his skills were up to the task, but his unpredictability forbade Hareflight from recommending it. His ceremony was held off due to misbehavior, and Shrewpaw was beyond furious. How quickly Tallpaw was catching up to him just added to his displeasure. It was petty for it to please Tallpaw, but he couldn't help it. 

It was hard to pinpoint when his remorse for Shrewpaw turned into such bitterness. Shrewpaw had always worn his plain on his pelt, but it became clear to their mentors that the feeling was mutual after a particularly bad day of training.

---

Tallpaw hadn’t wanted to let the taunts get to him, but Shrewpaw had been looking for more and more ways to get under his skin. One more poorly placed snide comment and a sharp cuff after a missed hunt was all it took to get them at each other with claws out. They both had far too much pent up to not take it out on someone. 

The apprentices screeched and tore fur out of each other, barely hearing their mentors' shouts for them to stop. Tallpaw was seeing too much red to hear until Dawnstripe bit into his scruff and hauled him back. Hareflight practically had to hold Shrewpaw down and dodged a swipe from the furious apprentice.

“Get ahold of yourself, Shrewpaw!” Hareflight hissed “This is not how I've taught you!”

Tallpaw shook himself but his fur stayed on end as Shrewpaw was still spitting furiously at him. He tried to throw his mentor off and leap at Tallpaw again until Hareflight boxed his ears and blocked his way. “Enough! I should have you on nest cleaning duty until leaf-fall!” 

“It’s going to have to be more than that, Hareflight,” Dawnstripe lashed her tail, “This is getting out of control.”

Hareflight looked exhausted. He was such a well kept warrior, but he was at a loss. Every cat could see him being run ragged by his apprentice, and Heatherstar’s hope that the even tempered tom would mellow Shrewpaw out was clearly falling apart. His scolding and threats of chores had little effect. 

“We should be done for today. Shrewpaw, go back to camp.” Hareflight said, his tail drooping, and then added sharply when Shrewpaw hesitated, “Now.”

With one last glare at Tallpaw, the furious apprentice stalked back up the hill towards camp and Hareflight trailed close after him.

Tallpaw turned his gaze away from Dawnstripe in shame. I was defending myself. She had to have seen he started it. Dawnstripe glared at him with her ears pinned back.

“I expect better from you as well, Tallpaw. Barring your claws at a clanmate for any reason will land you in trouble. Don’t let this happen again.”

He nodded obediently. Dawnstripe was letting him off easy. He still saw suspicious concern in her eye, but however upset he was with Shrewpaw, or with everything, she didn't deserve to deal with this. Even so, it had felt good to sink his claws into something. The two apprentices had to take a break from training together for a while after that.

---

Any interaction with Shrewpaw, however brief, always had Tallpaw returning to camp fired up and angry. Anger was something that held onto him longer and longer these days. It was the only feeling loud enough to block out everything else. It hadn’t boded well for his other relationships as he felt himself drifting further away from his friends. 

Returning from camp after another session led him to Ryewhisker. He could tell from how her ears pinned back and her tail swished expectantly that she was going to scold him about something. It was a bad time, as he was in a foul mood from scolding himself for not yet perfecting the tag team fighting tactic Dawnstripe had been going over with him.

“Tallpaw,” Ryewhisker said carefully, “I can’t agree to keep doing extra training sessions with you if you're going to insist on pushing yourself too hard.”

“I know what my limits are,” Tallpaw said.

“That’s why you keep begging me not to tell your mentor about tumbling yourself down another ledge or reopening old scrapes when you get over eager? And refusing to see the medicine cats after? I’m happy to help any cat with extra training, but I’m not going to lie for you--”

“Then don’t!” snapped Tallpaw “I didn’t actually ask you to help me, if it’s such a big deal, then i’ll find someone else or just go back to practicing by myself when Dawnstripe’s busy. You don’t need to hang over me!”

Ryewhisker was a bit stunned. Fallowspring overheard and suddenly her muzzle was shoved in his face

“Don’t talk to my sister like that! She’s been nicer to you than you deserved lately,” she snapped, yellow-green eyes flaring. “Go roll yourself down a hill on your own if you want! Come on, Rye.”

Ryewhisker gave Tallpaw a doubtful look over her shoulder, then just shook her head and followed her sister.

“Fine.” Tallpaw muttered.

 After Brackenwing, the once playful molly had followed Shrewpaw in his high-strung revenge drive. He was willing to bet Shrewpaw’s dislike for Tallpaw had rubbed off on Fallowspring. But she was right. Tallpaw hadn’t been very kind to the siblings, and Fawnleap was clearly distressed by the sudden bad blood between everyone. But Tallpaw couldn’t let himself be concerned about it. Shrewpaw cast him a sharp angry glance from where he sat across camp with his brother. Briarpaw didn’t look up at him. Tallpaw wondered how long it would take for the bitterness to rub off on Briarpaw too.  But it was ok if they didn’t like him. Being well liked wasn't the goal.

Dawnstripe headbutted his shoulder, shaking him out of his thoughts. “What was all that about?” she asked. 

Tallpaw snapped around to look up at her, trying not to look ashamed. He’d hoped she wouldn’t have seen any of that. “It’s nothing important. I’ll just...Find some other cat to help me in between our training sessions.

And there was that look again. Pity. Concern. Tallpaw tried so hard to look chipper. He refused to be a pain for his mentor like Shrewpaw was for Hareflight, and he was terrified of getting held back from his naming as well.

“You can’t train every second of your life, Tallpaw,” Dawnstripe mewed. “You're doing incredibly well. You’ve gotten back on your paws so quickly, even though I know these past two moons couldn’t have been easy for you. Pushing yourself too hard will be to your detriment.”

“Of course, Dawnstripe.” Tallpaw said.

“Why don’t you do something else? Have you visited the nursery?”

“The nursery? What for?” 

“Meadowbreeze had her kits a few sunrises ago. They’re all healthy and she’s already excited for every cat to see them. We don’t want too many cats crowding, but she’s always liked you. I bet she’d like for you to meet them.”

Tallpaw frowned. Her kits were so young. Not yet named, and they wouldn’t be for at least another quarter moon. They were still uncertain. He wasn’t sure he wanted to look upon any kitten who might not be there soon, for all they knew. He shook the thought away. It was better he did not focus on the kits.

“I’ll clean the nests,” he offered “fetch fresh bedding.” That would at least keep him busy.

Dawnstripe looked a bit exasperated at his lack of enthusiasm, but Meadowbreeze hadn’t seen enough of him lately to notice his new temper. He didn’t want to risk making her uncomfortable when she had kits to focus on. Besides...Palebird still slept in the nursery sometimes.

 Tallpaw dodged around Woollycloud when he went to fetch new moss. He could only stand so much pity for one day. Woollycloud was carrying a mouse to Palebird. He’d been trying everyday to get her to come out with him since she’d holed herself up in her burrow. 

Woollycloud had spent a lot of time asking after her, Tallpaw lost track of how many times he’d told him 'no I don’t know where she is or how she’s doing. And no I don’t want to talk about how I'm doing either.' He didn’t know why he found himself annoyed at Woollycloud’s attention to him and his mother. He didn’t care what Palebird did. There was nothing left between them for him to care about.

 He rarely saw Palebird as it was. He could only remember catching her eye once. She saw him arguing with Shrewpaw in camp one day, a fight that left him in a rage and he was sent to stomp around camp alone until he “calmed down.” Palebird held his gaze for only a few heartbeats with an unreadable expression before she disappeared back into her den. That was the extent of their relationship now. 

Again, he thought, this was all for the best...At least it would be, but not if every cat kept looking at him strangely for it! The restless storm raging in his belly could not be made into a spectacle. If that meant never talking to his clanmates at all for matters that weren’t for necessary training or instructions, then that is what he would do.

But for all the unrest among his clanmates and former friends that Tallpaw created, it was nothing compared to the nightmares. Dreams that used to visit him only occasionally when he went to sleep particularly restless came back with a wrathful vengeance every time he shut his eyes. Hawkheart said they’d likely calm down soon after his tunnel accident, that it was normal to have vivid nightmares for a while after a frightening experience. But they never calmed down. If anything, they got worse.

 They weren’t always the same, but they always felt the same. Usually they were the tunnel dreams. He was running. He willed his paws to move faster, but he felt slow and disconnected from his body. Something was coming after him, clawing its way through the dirt. 

Other dreams were more bizarre. He would be out on the moor on a new moon night, when Silverpelt’s eye was closed to the world. Those were dangerous nights, nights when the good spirits of StarClan struggled to see. The moor suddenly fractured beneath his feet, jagged crevices like lightning bolts cracked through the fields. The cracks widened, taking down rocks and bushes and anything else above, sending it all plummeting into endless darkness deep, deep beneath. A stale wind blasted him in the face from below, and he gagged on a scent like rotten meat. Horror gripped him as he saw little points of light leering upward from the black. Eyes, hundreds of them, everywhere. A black shape raised a sticky paw from the cracks, darker than the deepest shadows. He remembered his childhood monster, a tottering decrepit cat with a rotted hare’s face. But sometimes it's’ hollow eyes were replaced with new ones, glowing a cold, dark amber. He couldn’t look up at it, too afraid to meet its gaze, afraid to see what it might do. He just closed his eyes and let himself fall. 

Sometimes he even saw the face of that rogue as he fell. Sparrow stood above him with a mocking snarl, and then turned to kick soil down as if he was burying dirt. Or else, he’d be pushing one of Tallpaw’s clanmates over the edge as well while he helplessly watched. When Tallpaw locked eyes with the rogue, rage over took every other emotion. He’d reach for the tom with claws outstretched, overcome with an urge for violence he never knew in his waking life. He screeched in fury and tore at Sparrow, clawing and biting into fur and flesh. He wasn’t even sure who he was fighting. The form would morph into Shrewpaw instead, and then he'd draw back in shock. The dark brown fur was indistinguishable from the ground and the body crumbled to mud beneath his paws. And so did he. All his fury was nothing against the earth, he had nowhere to direct it, and it was useless against all the monsters’ eyes watching him fruitlessly struggle. 

 No matter how bizarre the dreams, that was the same. There was always feelings of helplessness. Of suffocating. Of desperation he couldn’t escape. Of despair over himself or his clanmates drowning, vanishing forever beneath him. And he nearly always woke up yowling.

It was so vivid and strange he couldn’t shake the feeling it couldn’t be normal. He was no medicine cat sharing prophetic dreams, but Tallpaw felt to his core a hateful presence lingering over him. The wrath of something restless, that would make sure he didn’t rest as long as it didn’t. In his waking life, he couldn’t bear to go anywhere within sight of a tunnel, whether it was dug by rabbit or cat.

He never felt comforted out on the moor anymore. The invisible eyes he imagined on him felt disapproving and angry. Kithood fears would come up to grip him again with memories of nursery tales about vengeful, angry spirits.

Tallpaw made a point to sleep as little as he could get away with. But Dawnstripe would shove him into a nest for a nap if he pushed it too hard. Eventually, he stopped sleeping in the apprentice den, to save himself from another argument with Shrewpaw. He moved to the unfinished dens on the far side of camp, the ones his father planned on excavating when the weather got warmer for the tunnelers to settle into during colder months, separate from the moor runners. They were shallow, and the ground was hard with very little grass. But it was as far away from the others as he could reasonably get, to avoid waking anyone with his night terrors. He sat alone with his thoughts turning, his fear and helplessness always being replaced with rage as soon as he awoke. Sleeping was a waste of time anyway when he could be active. He had to think of action. Tallpaw hoped once he got his name, once he had thrown everything into being the best warrior he could be, it would settle the restlessness. He would be more worthy...He hoped, anyway.

Each passing day, cat after cat steadily gave up asking if he was fairing ok. Being the most useful cat he could be was all he had to think about now.

chapter list / previous / next

[wickedgamesoyaoya]

Amnesia - Let the Games Begin

A mixture of delicious fragrances engulfed the café, compelling those who were fatefully walking by to enter the bistro. While the intoxicating scents may be what lured guests, it was the diverse set of attendants that created loyal customers. Jack Rose was founded by Hyroshi Miya eight years ago after the passing of his wife. Kaori Miya was known for having a sweet-tooth and her obsession with the tragedy of the Titanic. During Kaori’s battle with leukemia, Hyroshi developed an obsession with baking, with young Atsumu serving as his assistant. At first it served as a distraction for the duo, and a source of happiness for Kaori. However, when Kaori passed away, Hyroshi wanted to honour his wife’s life, and so Jack Rose was established. Named after the two love interests in Titanic, with an eccentric menu that no neighbouring café could challenge – it was a massive success.

“Hi, welcome to Jack Rose. Please follow me.” The rehearsed dialogue was not short of any enthusiasm, despite having said it hundreds of times.

“Oh my god, she’s so cute!” The middle-aged woman cooed to the male stood beside her, who nodded in approval. His amusement was untraceable due to the dark lenses that adorned his face, but he too was enthralled by your uniform.

A sugary smile had painted across your fuchsia painted lips, earning you a few extra points with the couple. It was a simple act that came natural to you, serving at Jack Rose had never struck you as a tedious job, rather it was a pleasurable experience.

After leading the pair to their assigned seat, a gentle hand had pressed into your lower back indicating that your replacement had arrived.

“Thank you, y/n. I will take it from here,” The mocha haired boy radiated an alluring aura, instantly capturing the interest of the two patrons. “Hi. I’m Tooru, your server for today.” Once introducing himself, his mouth twitched into his signature grin, prompting his eyelashes to flutter shut for a moment. Seated a few tables away, Oikawa’s fangirls were huddled together, squealing in unison.

“Enjoy your stay.” Folding an arm over your stomach, you bowed to excuse yourself before their hypnosis wore off, and the fangirls’ attention landed on you. Needless to say, anyone close to Oikawa Tooru was considered a threat. One they were eager to eliminate.

At the hostess stand, a familiar figure had shifted their weight onto the podium, the ends of his golden strands were frayed from the exposure to chemicals, yet with the sunlight sneaking through the glass behind, he resembled the subject of a painting.

“Oi. Are you feelin’ better today?” Atsumu Miya had always insisted that his accent was a natural product of his environment, although no one truly believed him considering the fact his family home was located in the wealthiest part of the city. Nonetheless, the accent persisted beyond his teenage years and into his young adulthood. It never bothered you, particularly because you had never heard him without it. After eighteen years of friendship, there wasn’t a single thing you did not adore about him.

“I am, don’t worry. Now will you please get off my stand? You are going to scare the customers.” Playfully you waved a hand in the air, gesturing for the blonde to reside elsewhere. “And if I’m not mistaken, you are skipping class right now, aren’t you?” As your tongue hit the roof of your mouth, a clicking sound was created to exemplify your disappointment.

“What was that? ‘tsumu is skipping class again?” If you had not become accustomed to Kuroo Tetsurou’s large and notable presence, you would have flinched the second his shadow had blanketed over you. Rather than experiencing any form of fear, his presence had only amplified your gaiety.

“Uh huh. Shall we get Papa Miya?” The bed-headed server leaned down, nestling his chin against your shoulder as he grinned provocatively at the target of your amusement. Kuroo was only a single year younger than you two, despite physically appearing to be older. The three of you were inseparable since the tender ages of six and five. When Kaori had passed away, Atsumu relied heavily on his two friends, as he had lost motivation to complete the smallest of tasks. That was why you took a job at Jack Rose, you needed it to succeed for his sake. It was a reminder of how his mother lived, rather than how she died. Kuroo had joined you in your quest a month later, and somehow your dream – Hyroshi’s dream had become reality.

“I swear yer the worst friends ever. It’s an online class! Don’t bring pops into it.” The blonde blew out a huff, turning his gaze away from those who threatened to ‘betray’ him.

“Oh my god, you guys are the worst! Poor Omi is in the back preparing all the drinks and you’re out here doing… whatever the hell this is!” Makoto Saito waved a small napkin at the black-haired server, unwilling to engage in any physical violence since it would require energy she wished to conserve. “Go back there, you man-baby. Help him. Shoo. Get off my adorable y/n.”

“Okay, okay. I’m going.” Kuroo raised his hands in defeat, unbothered by the napkin that was now being swayed towards his chest. Makoto had joined Jack Rose two years ago, and not because she was in any need for money – you were the reason she found herself sending in an application for what others would consider a low-end job. She had stumbled into the café one evening, boredom plaguing her after finishing a three-hour lecture. Oikawa had been the one to greet her, yet it was the positivity you emanated that brought her to return a night later. A month later, a job application was handed to you bashfully, whereas you could barely withhold your excitement. She was the second female to join Jack Rose, with Atsumu (accidentally) recruiting Ichika a year later.

“Now that he’s gone, y/n, I’m here to replace you. Omi said something about teaching you the new drink? I honestly don’t remember because I was on the phone, but let’s ignore that fact, hm?” Makoto’s interest in the boys was below minimal, the only male who was deserving of her respect was ‘Papa Miya’. Once Atsumu had jested that it was because she secretly had a crush on the much older male, to which she responded, ‘so what if I do’. The response had defeated his humour instantly.

“Oh, he must be talking about the blue pearl! It’s the newest addition to our menu.” Tapping a finger against your cheek, excitement burned in your y/e/c irises, prompting something to stir inside of both Atsumu and Makoto. What? You were so damn adorable.

“I don’t care, but you are so cute that I’ll pretend I do.” Reaching out, the black-haired girl patted your cheek affectionately. “Now go on, little bird. Fly fly away.”

“You guys better not fight while I’m gone.” With two fingers, you pointed at your eyes then at the two chaotic individuals you called friends, even with the warning, it was highly probable that the second you turned around they would begin bickering.

“Shoo, birdie.” The comment was accompanied by an unusually heavy sigh, Makoto completely intended on annoying Atsumu, but that was none of your concern.

Upon entering the kitchen, your nose crinkled at the delectable scents wafting towards you. When Sakusa Kiyoomi was working in the kitchen, everyone knew magic would materialize in the form of sweets. No one had believed the germaphobe could bake until he dropped off a box of home-made pastries along with his resume. Papa Miya was in the process of finishing his first bite when he declared that Sakusa was hired. He was just that damn good.

“You’re here.” The curly haired male had a bad habit of stating the obvious, he argued that it was key to the proper performance of his logical processes. No one tried to refute his claim, considering the fact he was essentially a genius. “Are you ready to learn?” Raising an eyebrow, his slender fingers wrapped around a glass-vessel before placing it on the counter.

“Mhm hm.” It was a bad habit of yours to chew on your bottom lip when in thought, but Sakusa found it endearing – even though he would deny such a claim out loud. Removing the notepad from your apron, your eyes darted aimlessly, searching for a writing utensil. You may have been a little too occupied with your pockets, a detail that the male picked up on, as he removed the pen tucked behind your ear.

“Are you sure you are well? If not, you should return home.” He held out the pen, analyzing your visage for any physical sign of illness.

“Woops. Sorry. I forgot it was there! But I promise, I’m fine!” It seemed that everyone was a bit on edge since yesterday, when you may have accidentally forgotten to eat and passed out mid-shift. You appreciated the sentiment, but you were fine. Really.

The curly haired baker refused to begin his demonstration until you consumed some food and water, his dark hues did not waver until each inch of the plate was clean. By the time you were done, Ichika had joined you in the kitchen for the lesson.

“I should have recorded that. I feel like I forgot it already.” Ichika was the youngest person on the team, Atsumu had offered her a job after finding her crying at a bus stop one night. The young girl was the breadwinner of her home, and due to her fathers gambling addiction, she was the only parental figure for her two younger siblings. Atsumu, after learning that her mother had too passed, was unable to turn a blind eye.

“I can show it to you tomorrow. I think I’ve got it.” A reassuring smile was presented towards her as you captured her hands and provided a gentle squeeze. “And then we all have the day off. I think everyone has decided we’re going to the amusement park, so it will be fun.”

“Okay… Thank you, y/n.” Ichika blinked excessively to withhold the tears that were brewing, she could always count on you to provide her with the support she so desperately needed. Sakusa who was simply watching the two interact was on guard with a rag to catch any tears that could possibly fall onto the counter he had just disinfected.

“Please do not cry.” The black-haired boy had almost sounded sincerely concerned for his co-workers emotional state, it was enough to fool Ichika who redirected her affections to him.

“You care about me too? Waa. I’m so loved!” As the tears began to exit her eye sockets, Sakusa jumped forward on instinct, pressing the cloth against her face. Laughter danced past your lips as you shook your head slowly. Jack Rose really attracted the strangest of people.

After your shift ended, instead of returning home to complete your assigned work, you decided to finish your assignment at the café. It was fairly quiet after 11pm, and Kuroo had offered to walk you home after closing up. Recently there were a striking number of assaults occurring in your area, and so you accepted the proposition without any hesitation.

“Welcome to Jack Rose! We are about to close soon, but I think I have enough time to serve you a drink or two. Is that okay with you, kind sir?” The words were conveyed in an anxious tone, as Ichika glanced at the clock plastered on the wall. Upon hearing the ‘kind sir’, both you and Atsumu glanced up from your laptop screens, stifling the laughter that was bubbling inside your throats.

“I won’t be long.” There was something peculiar about his choice of words, prompting your neurons to convey the word danger to your body. Before your mind could catch up with your physical movements, you had lifted from the chair and shuffled closer to where Ichika was stood. From the side of your eye, you saw your childhood friend following close behind, presumably picking up on your apprehension. But before you could utter a response to the mystery guest, the lightbulbs illuminating the bistro had burnt out.

The second darkness had enveloped the space, someone had seized your waist aggressively and a cloth was pressed to your mouth. The more you squirmed, the harsher their touch became – fear gradually paralyzed you. Or perhaps it was the chemical coating the fabric on your lips. Piece by piece your senses began to dull. Whether the person screeching your name was a hallucination or not was unclear…. All you knew was that your intuition was right, but unfortunately a bit too late.

Hume, who pioneered the bundle theory, would state that the human soul is nothing beyond a collection of still-shots and experiences. The self is a loosely connected bundle of perceptions, one that would change overtime. The question that remains is…. who will you be now? Who will you become? Without your memories as a guide, can you win the game that was designed specifically for you…? Or will you lose the never-ending battle? 

Amnesia - Let the Games Begin 

Masterlist - Previous - Next

A/N: and so it begins! also in this I may have erased osamu!? LMAO sorry 

Tag-list: @kara-grayson04 @namyari , @cuddlesslut , @iloveanime691 @shakiraisawesome @idiot-juice-enthusiast @fangirling-25-8 @krynnza @yetchann @chxrry-wxne

[smmahamazing]

Inukag Week 2020 - Loyalty

This is a mostly direct part two of yesterdays prompt, Acceptance.

I would like you all to know that I had to look up the name for a "gear shift", because I just call in the PRNDL (Suite Life fans anyone?). I'm still not sure if that's even the correct term, but after several google searches I just went for "gear shift", although I almost just said screw it and called it a PRDNL LOL.

FFN or AO3

Restaurant kitchens are noisy places. The bubble of the fryers as fries and onion rings are cooked to golden perfection. Peppers and mushrooms sizzling in a saute pan. Belted vocal announcements of “Behind!” and “Coming down!” bouncing off the walls, drowned out by the roaring of the industrial dishwasher.

Today though, there was nothing louder than the sound of a sharp chef’s knife whacking away at the cutting board, sharp thuds cutting through the air. It was definitely not how you were supposed to use the tool, and the cutting board sure wasn't faring any better, but Kagome could have cared less about that in the moment.

Kagome was furious.

She didn't think there was ever a time that'd she felt angrier than she did now; which said something because the event that made her completely fly off the handle happened almost a week ago.

Several weeks had passed since the incident at Inuyasha's auto shop. Things had been going very well for the couple; Kagome's declaration of acceptance had put Inuyasha in a most loving mood. The following weekend, they visited a hot spring together, washing away the stress from the previous week. On top of that, Mama had called Inuyasha and personally asked if he could help her love things around the shrine for jii-chan, with the promise of a lunch date 'with her future son-in-law'. The term of endearment was a little embarrassing for them both, seeing as they had only been dating for a few months and obviously haven't talked about that, but Inuyasha had swelled up with pride at the thought that Kagome's mother labels him as family. Kagome would have bet three for three with all the good happening to them.

If only she had cut her losses sooner. Kagome's girlfriends from high school had been messaging her about hanging out. Apparently, there was a new bistro bar that just opened up downtown with great reviews, so Yuka and Eri thought it would be a good idea to check it out. Ayame ended up cancelling due to some work responsibilities, but hoped that she and Hojo would be able to go next time.

Kagome was a little nervous at first when she suggested to Inuyasha about going out with the girls. 'The Hojo Incident' was still a little fresh in the mind, and although Hojo wouldn't actually be there this time, Kagome remembered that he didn't leave the best impression to the girls that night either. Suffice to say, she was surprised when Inuyasha was all for going out, even if he seemed a little nervous. He really seemed like he wanted to start over with Yuka and Eri.

Things would be awkward at first, but Kagome was sure Inuyasha would win them over. There was no way they couldn't walk away from the night with a newly reinforced friendship.

Hell, she would have taken acquaintanceship over what actually happened. Kagome guessed that her first mistake was assuming Inuyasha was invited at all. Usually when they have a group outing and Hojo accompanies them, boyfriends are also invited; so when Ayumi messaged everyone about her and Hojo not being able to make it, Kagome assumed that this was not a girl's only night. When they arrived at the bistro, the daggering looks they shot at Inuyasha told Kagome all she needed to know. Unfortunately for them, Inuyasha was already there, and Kagome certainly wasn't going to tell him to just go home. They would just have to get over it. Besides, Inuyasha promised her he was going to keep a cool head when it came to Yuka and Eri so she could have a nice night with her girlfriends, and Kagome had all the faith in the world of her hanyou.

The evening started out okay, despite the obvious irritated looks from the girls. They ordered some drinks and appetizers, politely chatting about the goings on in everyone's life. Eri was talkative - although definitely more muted than her normal self - while Yuka was mostly silent, giving straightforward answers to most questions geared towards her. Neither of them spoke to Inuyasha at first, which Kagome found odd but decided not to make too big a deal out of it. Instead, she constantly drove the conversation Inuyasha's way, opening up segways for him to add his own two cents in when the moment was right. By the time the server arrived with their meals, the girls had at least started to acknowledge his presence at the table and no one had yelled at one another. The night might not have been perfect, but Kagome could be content with that.

It wasn't until Inuyasha went to the bathroom that the night took a dive for the worst, when Kagome made her second mistake: confronting her friends.

"What the hell is your guys' problem?"  Kagome hissed, hoping Inuyasha was far enough away that he couldn't pick up what she was saying.

"What problem?" Yuka asked, although Kagome wasn't fooled by her sarcastic innocence.

"You guys have barely spoken a word to Inuyasha all night, and when you have said something, you've been stiff as a board about it. Could you maybe lighten up a little?"

"We're just trying not to provoke your hot-headed boyfriend over there," Eri chimed in.

"Ugh," Kagome covered her face with her hands. "Look, I know our last get together was...a lot, but Inuyasha really feels bad about his temper that night. If you let him, I know he'd apologize to you guys. He's trying really hard to be in good spirits tonight."

"Are you serious right now Kagome?" Eri shot back at her. "Do you even hear yourself right now? You're telling us to give him a chance when he has to actually think about being nice to people?"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Inuyasha isn't used to going out and interacting with other people. I know he's got a hard shell, but once you crack it, you’ll see he's a really great guy once you get to know him, and it would mean a lot to me if you could try to do just that."

"We tried that last time Kagome, and he got angrier with every question we asked." Yuka argued.

"Well, in his defense, you guys come off really strong. He just felt a little smothered with the back-and-forth you two are so good at. I'm sure if you just tone it down a little, you'll have a great conversation together."

"Oh, so now we're supposed to change who we are every time your boyfriend is around?" Yuka yelled, getting louder with every response.

"N-no, that's not what I'm saying at all! I want you all to meet somewhere in the middle so you can get to know each other, Inuyasha included. Which he is trying to do!" Kagome didn't know what was happening. This isn't how the night was supposed to go. She knew that the last time they all got together, tempers were a little high, but she really hoped tonight would help cool everything down. Inuyasha was trying his best to settle between being a part of the conversation and letting the Kagome and the girls have their own time, she wanted him to be able to make amends so they could move on. Ayumi and Hojo were both extremely forgiving people, and Kagome knew that Inuyasha would have an easier time making things right with them when the time comes. It was Yuka and Eri that needed to be handled with care. And unfortunately, they seemed to be making that task especially difficult for Inuyasha.

Just when Kagome thought things possibly couldn't get any worse, Yuka effectively set off a bomb.

"The only thing he's capable of is being a hot-headed, impetuous jerk, just like most hanyous."

Yuka had continued talking after that, but Kagome didn't hear what it was, her words drowned out by the blood that pumped through her ears. In her mind, she recalled that day not even two weeks ago, when that man refused to have his car looked at by Inuyasha. How dejected Inuyasha looked knowing how people looked down on him, even if he tried to downplay how it made him feel. She remembered how angry she felt, that someone could think so terribly of him because of something he couldn't help. Yet, as soon as the words spilled from her mouth, Yuka and Eri - people that had been her friends since childhood, people who were kind despite their boldness - had become no different than the man who couldn't stand to do business with a hanyou.

"Excuse me?" Kagome asked, interrupting whatever Yuka was blabbering on about. "How dare you!"

"Kagome - "

"No!" She shouted. "You had no right to say something so awful! Inuyasha can be brash and grumpy, and doesn't always say the right thing, but being a hanyou has nothing to do with anything. How about you guys. Can you hear yourselves right now? I can't believe that two of my closest friends could say something so rude about him. He's been trying so hard tonight to get on your good side - for ME - and all you can do is talk down to him like he's beneath you!"

Yuka and Eri's eyes became as wide as dinner plates, but not just because of the verbal jabs they were being dealt. As Kagome started becoming more expressive by talking with her hands, a faint violet aura was starting to coalesce around her hands. The aura had a texture similar to fog, yet it appeared almost like steam pouring from her skin, slightly see through. The angrier she got, the clearer the wisps became. Kagome didn't seem to notice the change.

"You know what, we're not doing this," Kagome stood up from her chair and gathered up her purse. She looked up just enough to see Inuyasha walking back up to the table and grabbed his jacket.

"I am not going to sit here and make Inuyasha have to go through this. As far as you're now concerned, Inuyasha and I are a packaged deal. So if you want to see me, you'll have to see him, too. But let me be clear, I am not going to let you talk down to the man I love. You can call me back when you're ready to talk like adults. ”

Kagome turned on the spot and grabbed his arm, muttering a small 'let's go', before dragging him back to the car with her. Kagome had still not talked to Inuyasha about what happened that night. Not that he didn't try to bring the subject up, but she was quick to change the subject each time. Kagome didn't trust herself to not blow a gasket if she was forced to relive how angry she had become that night.

Yuka and Eri had blown up her phone with texts, but Kagome ignored all of them. She even went as far as to delete them. Of course they felt bad and wanted to apologize for how they acted, but they were trying to apologize to the wrong person. Inuyasha was the one who deserved their apologies. He was the one who had to sit through dinner with two people who thought nothing good of him. She could eventually forgive them, but only if they squared up with Inuyasha. It was the least they could do.

And, if causing a huge scene at a busy restaurant wasn't enough, Kagome, in her blind fury, had just blurted out to everyone who was in hearing distance that she loved Inuyasha. She groaned as she finally brought her cutting board to the dish pit to start cleaning up. She was almost a hundred percent sure Inuyasha had heard her declaration of love, which only made her feel worse. This was most definitely not the way she wanted to tell him that she loved him. They had only been dating a few months; what if she scared him off? Would he think she was clingy because of it? Or worse, what if he didn't feel the same way? She couldn't ask him to tell her right at this moment if he also loved her, too. That would be asking for far too much. So, Kagome had kept busy the past week, either with work or meaningless activities so they couldn't hash their feelings out.

Kagome spent the next half hour cleaning and taking a quick inventory of the walk-in cooler before clocking out. Inuyasha was waiting for her at the hostess stand. He had taken an early day to hopefully help put Kagome in a better mood than she had been all week.

He had been thinking about that night all week. Inuyasha had just been coming back from the bathroom when he felt a strong aura brush against his youki. At first, he was afraid a rogue youkai was about to start a rampage and became increasingly worried about Kagome. The aura didn't seem like it came from a youkai, but Inuyasha didn't know what else could produce such a sturdy aura. It wasn't until he could properly see their table that he realized what it was. Kagome looked like she was arguing with the two girls; her hands were glowing, purple wisps dancing around her wrists.

'Is that...reiki?' Inuyasha thought. True mikos and monk's were rare nowadays, and Inuyasha had never met one with enough power to be able to summon it. Kagome didn't seem like she noticed, putting all her emotion into her hands as she started waving them towards her friends. At first, he could barely make out what she was saying, but by the time he got to the table, Kagome was practically shouting.

The subsequent car ride home was silent. The energy around Kagome continued to crackle, keeping Inuyasha on edge until they had arrived home; only then did she calm down enough to rear her reiki back, which Kagome still didn't seem to notice. It was as if everyone could see it but her. Inuyasha was perplexed about her sudden burst of spiritual energy, but decided to table his thoughts on the subject; perhaps he would talk to Kagome's mother about it the next time he went to help over at the shrine. They spent the rest of their night watching television and still not talking about what happened at the restaurant before drifting off to sleep.

Inuyasha was still surprised at what he heard that night, to say the least. It was one thing for Kagome to tell him that he had value as a person in private , but to shout it to a whole section of a busy restaurant during the dinner rush was something completely different. Inuyasha didn't hear what her friends had said about him, but whatsoever it was must have been really bad for her to completely freak out like that. Then again, Inuyasha was pretty sure that the worst thing Kagome could think of was probably pretty tame compared to some of the things he's heard. It didn't really matter what they said though. Inuyasha couldn't deny how she felt about him now. Especially after hearing how she loved him.

He had expected her to bring at least that part up in conversation, but Kagome had been doing all she could to not have a sincere conversation with him. He had a feeling that was partly because of how angry she was. Kagome had been pretty tense the first three or four days after - tension, especially in the shoulders, was a sure sign of anger in that woman. But Kagome was the type of girl to get all her feelings out in the open, so not talking about it was extremely out of character for her. Inuyasha was confused by her behavior. Did she think he didn't love her? How could she not; Inuyasha spent almost all his free time with her. Kagome had even started joining his sporadic lunches with Sango, his only other friend, going as far to hang out with the girl without him. Hell, she even got the damn 'seal of approval' from Sesshomaru himself! Inuyasha had let her figure out her emotions all week, but it was time he put her back on the track.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome called out, a little surprised to see him there. "What are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd come and pick up my favourite girl for the day."

"You know I drove to work, right?" She snickered at the small grin that had appeared in his face.

"Well, then it's a good thing I didn't drive here, isn't it?" He replied, rewarded with a small snort from Kagome. He walked them out the front door, grabbing her purse from her and wrapping his left arm around her shoulder.

"Wouldn't that be me picking you up then?"

"A technicality. It ain't like I'm letting you drive." Their laughter floated all the way to the back parking lot where Kagome's car was parked. Inuyasha made a spectacle out of adjusting her driver's seat, causing her to playfully slap him on the arm. Once they were on the road, and Inuyasha was sure that she wouldn't be able to roll out of the car if the urge came to her, he brought up Yuka and Eri.

"So, have you talked to them?" He asked carefully. Inuyasha could see her stiffen as soon as the words had left his mouth. She pulled up some random social media app on her phone and began to mindlessly scroll.

"Talked to who?"

"You know what I'm talking about wench. Don't play innocent with me."

"What's there to talk about Yash? I'm sure they're sorry and all, but until you get a heartfelt apology from them, then my hands are tied."

"Kagome, they're your friends - "

"Not if they're going to talk down to you! They've acted just like that horrible man from your job almost a month ago. We don't need people like that in our life."

"Kagome…" Inuyasha didn't really know what to say. The thought of asking Kagome to give up anything so that they could be together was almost sickening; it was something he could, and would, never do. Yet, here she was, adamant about completely cutting ties with two people who she had known almost all her life, simply because of him. Inuyasha could feel his throat closing up, a myriad of emotions threatening to explode from his body. Kagome was so loyal to him, so good to him, and so out of his league. He grabbed her hand and held it over the gearshift, gently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. He would do whatever it took to fix her relationship with those girls. But even if nothing could be salvaged, Kagome would always have him. He was content to serve her however she needed, and that’s when it clicked for him. What they had was more than a passing encounter, or just a spring fling.

“I love you, Kagome,” he muttered softly, bringing her hand up to kiss it tenderly. He heard a small gasp come from the woman beside him. Perhaps it wasn’t the most romantic way he could have told her that, but it felt right. All he felt for Kagome in that moment was pure, unadulterated love. Kagome’s grip on his hand tightened as they continued the drive home, the salty scent of unshed tears filling his senses. Inuyasha would have lots of plans to make, but none of that was important right now; it was nothing that couldn’t wait another day. For now, he would take her home, and tonight would be just for the two of them.

[baekberrie]

☀️rooftop pt.3 ➣bbh☀️

☀️Genre: Romance, angst, fluff,  bakery & island! au

☀️Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader/ oc

☀️Previous  -  Next

☀️Updates every: Wednesday night🌙

Your eyes dig into me

Without anyone knowing My hidden heart was stolen

It feels like I’m walking on a path

In a faraway dream

it’s an emotion that has never Touched me before…

The following day was quiet, even in the frantic kitchen at 8 am in the morning. Although Mrs. Byun was yelling orders, as usual, everything seemed so far away, so quiet. The girl was kneading her dough next to Byun Baekhyun who was doing the same but while she made bread he had the task of making pastries since they were harder to succeed. Yesterday night’s events replayed in her head like a movie. The fact he was standing at such a distance from her although they were working on the same counter was extremely disheartening for her who only wanted to be his friend.

While glancing hesitantly at the boy from the corner of her eyes, she bit her lip, she had to say something. She never backed down, not even in this situation. It wasn’t just the simple fact that she wanted to be his friend that kept her insisting. It was the ice in his gaze, she knew it had to be broken, there was so much more to him than a quiet bakery boy. He was doing everything to hide it but she could see it in him. This strong pull in his regards, she wanted to drag him out of this lonely bubble he seemed to have built around himself. Maybe it wasn’t her business, maybe she was just being nosy, but she believed that everything happened for a reason, and if coming to this island let her meet Baekhyun, she knew she couldn’t let it be at that.

With her eyes tightly shut, she turned her body in his direction, parting her lips to speak;

“Baek-” And when her eyes shot open, he wasn’t there anymore, she could see him put pastries in the distant ovens. A frustrated huff left her pouted lips as a light blush crept on her cheeks, the whole situation making her feel extremely awkward although he hadn’t witnessed it.

“Do you need any help?” Came Mrs. Byun curiously, the girl reddened even more but nonetheless greeted the middle-aged lady with a grateful smile. “Could you explain this recipe for me again?” She said and showed her the one step that she hadn’t been able to get through. Mrs. Byun was genuinely happy to help. Whenever she got help from the lady, she couldn’t help but become extremely captivated by the passion burning in her eyes, how every inch of her body screamed how zealous she was about her work.

After a couple of moments, they were making small buns together, talking about anything that came to their minds. It was hard avoiding the topic of where she came from, she knew it would only worry the woman if she knew how and why she had come to this place. Though, she didn’t find it dangerous to give subtle answers.

“You know…” Mrs. Byun started softly, “Give Baekhyun some time, he’ll warm up eventually.” She smiled kindly at her while placing a bun on the tray. The girl let out a little laugh, wondering if she looked that obvious and desperate in front of the boy.

“I don’t want to be a nuisance” She sighed helplessly, somehow finding herself feeling extremely comfortable around the lady, letting her emotions flow without any worries. It was as if all the warmth that Baekhyun hid was completely unraveled in this lady, her eyes which resembled Baekhyun’s so much, they were the kindest she had ever seen, and she found herself succumbing to their motherly warmth.

“I just want to be his friend, but maybe I’m doing the opposite.” A frown twisted her lips as she eyed the bun in her palms with an unsatisfied expression, puffing out a breath as she started forming it from scratch.

“Aigoo! No, don’t say that!” Mrs. Byun was extremely fast to disagree, waving her hands in disagreement.

“You’re exactly what my boy needs, you know? Apart from Junmyeon and Jongdae, he barely has any friends. He’s mostly on his own, it’s bad for him-” Mrs. Byun spoke softly and kindly, but even in her affectionate eyes lingered a hint of sadness that she couldn’t decipher. “ I’ve done what I could, but I can only do so much. He wasn’t like this before, he’s hurt but he’s not letting anyone help him.” She bit her lip as her heart painfully clenched at the words of Mrs. Byun.

“He’s hurt?” She began, not being able to mask the concern and disbelief in her voice, “W-why?”

Mrs. Byun only gave her a solemn and saddened smile, by then she knew it wasn’t her story to tell.

“Please, don’t give up on my boy.”

The girl let a smile that turned her eyes into crescent moons spread on her face, a hopeful smile, one that gently soothed a mother’s broken heart.

“I will do my best.”

☀️☀️☀️

The next day, Mrs. Byun was as radiant as ever when she greeted her apprentice crew a good morning, telling them that they’d be splitting into themes for the various chores of the day. Before she knows it, the Kim brothers are ushered to the kitchen while she gets a long list of ingredients pushed into her face, which gave her the chills down her spine when she thought about her last attempt and how it had gone. She parted her lips to ask Mrs. Byun to change her task but the lady only winked at her playfully, as she called after her son.

“Baekhyun-ah! Come here!”

Once Baekhyun was there, Mrs. Byun nodded in her direction, the smile still as bright as ever on her lips. Seeing her in such high spirits made the girl grin as well.

“Please, accompany her to the market, there’s a lot of ingredients needed, plus she’s not good with orientation around here yet.” Ah, now she understood it, a little chuckle left her lips when she realized that Mrs. Byun was setting her up with baekhyun on purpose. She ignored Baekhyun’s questioning gaze on her and feigned cluelessness, pretending that she wasn’t aware of the fact that he was looking at her. The boy gave a polite smile to his mother, “Of course,” He said shortly before walking past her, muttering a soft let’s go behind her to which she happily complied.

Although the sun was the warmest, the sea was gracing them with a caressing and refreshing breeze, balancing down the overly hot temperature. She inhaled the salty air and heaved a long sigh.

“The weather is so nice,” She commented, directing her words to Baekhyun, wondering if he’d react since he was walking in front of her instead of next to her. It was a Baekhyun thing, it reflected the distance between them. He never walked with her, just enough to know she was there, but never with her. Though she was surprised when the boy answered with contently.

“Yeah, it really is,” The tone in his voice seemed so carefree, so gentle that she felt disappointed for not being able to see his facial expression, was he smiling? Or was it the typical blank face that he was sporting? Nonetheless, just that simple answer made her heart skip a little beat, she felt energized and couldn’t help herself when she started another conversation with him, even though 98% of it would be her talking alone, perhaps the boy was still listening after all.

“Where are we going first? To the supermarket or to the bazaar?” She wondered happily.

“Supermarket.” Baekhyun said.

“How do you know? You haven’t even read the list though?” The girl pointed out half curious half confused, knowing she hadn’t shown him the list since the moment they met in the lobby, it was still in her hands.

Baekhyun let out an exasperated sigh, “ It was me who wrote it.”

“Oh..” She breathed out, feeling a little dumb, she didn’t catch on the little glance that Baekhyun threw over his shoulder- biting his lip to suppress the tiniest hint of a smile at her flushed cheeks and pouty expression.

“Do you seriously only know how to give short answers!? You’re no fun!” She eventually burst, her voice a whine as she ran to catch up with him, finally sharing steps with him, and she was to be frustrated once more when baekhyun only shrugged his shoulders in response.

“If I’m no fun then don’t talk to me,” She gathered air in her cheeks, suppressing the groan that was threatening to erupt from her throat. Oh, so Byun Baekhyun wanted war? Okay!

“But like any normal person, I want to converse and make friends! Can’t you collaborate?” She begged, almost cried. At this point, Baekhyun was having a really hard time keeping in the chuckle bubbling in his throat, he didn’t know why her stubbornness was endearing him today, she sounded so silly and he couldn’t help but find her amusing.

“You’re not normal though, you talk way too much.” There was no hostility or coldness in his words as he spoke, he wasn’t realizing it himself, that he had let cheerful emotions flow through his voice, the girl’s lips split into a beam although he couldn’t see it.

“Baekhyun!” She whined, on purpose, this time. Her bright smile reached all the way to her ears while her heart burst at the chuckle that left his lips, shaking her head at the way he faked a cough right after as to conceal his actions. Nuh-uh, she thought, too late Byun Baekhyun, I heard you!

The rest of the day went smoothly. The girl’s heart wouldn’t stop beating joyfully in her chest, although Baekhyun acted as if he wasn’t willing to talk when she engaged him in a conversation, he wouldn’t back out. Even if his answers were the most minimal, she wouldn’t mind because the interaction was as precious as it could possibly be. Perhaps he was only temporarily in a good mood and she would never have this kind of interaction with him ever again, but that was why she was going to treasure this moment.

While Baekhyun paid the cashier, she occupied herself with stuffing the groceries in the bags, in total there were four. She was already on her way to take the fourth one when a soft and slender hand stopped her from doing that.

“Let me help you,” He mumbled, reaching out for her wrist and she cursed her body for tingling when his silk-like skin touched hers, an unexpected warmth seeping from his fingertips into her own. He slid a bag off her hold only to take it himself.

“Thank you, Baekhyun.” She smiled to which he didn’t reciprocate but simply nodded in acknowledgment.

Once back at the bakery they were greeted by a happy Mr. Byun by the cashier.

“Good morning! You didn’t get lost did you?” He joked loudly, his forehead glistening with a thin layer of sweat caused by the bright and warm sun shining down on the island. The girl, despite her blush, laughed along at Mr. Byun’s genuine ways, whining out a playful: “Oh, Uncle!”

Just a moment later, she and Baekhyun were sorting out the groceries by the things that go into the fridge and the ones that go into the storeroom. Baekhyun handed her a couple of things, most of them were dry products such as bags of sugar and flour. “Do you think you can bring these to the storeroom?” He asked, just in case she didn’t know where it was, but the girl did since she had been there with Jongdae and Junmyeon before.

“Will do, Captain!” She exclaimed playfully, setting her hand by her forehead before taking the things that Baekhyun had sorted out and made her way to the destined place. The boy only shook his head at her childish ways, but why does it make him smile?

The door to the storeroom had been quiet the hassle to open, she had struggled to open it for good five minutes before succeeding. She put all of the products on their respective places and clasped her hands contentedly, satisfied with her work. Just when she was about to turn around and head out, the door shut behind her back, making her freeze in her spot, heart ever so slightly picking up its rate. Oh no.

She sprinted to the door and pulled it by the handle, only to have it not budge the slightest bit. The girl could feel her calmness and rationality slip through the cracks of her fingers, sweat covering her skin and quick breaths leaving her lips as she knocked violently on the door. The light was automatic, thankfully, it was still on. She had always despised being closed in cramped places because of how it brought her back too many painful memories. She was screaming out the word help and banging on the door, bumping her body against it, hoping that it would magically open.

She was on her way try it again when the door swung open and it wasn’t there to meet her shoulder causing her to fly outside while gasping at the lack of contact. Her eyes shut to embrace the hurtful fall that in the end never occurred. She grunted as she hit against a hard chest. The scent that immediately sneaked into her senses was by now a smell that she could recognize anywhere. His arms so very tense and his hold feather-light around her waist as he held her into place, but to her dismay, it disappeared before she could even acknowledge it.

“Bekhyun-” She breathed out frantically, her view blurry and a lump closing up her throat. “ the door, it wouldn’t ope-”

“Do you seriously only know how to get yourself into trouble?” He hissed, a little too harshly for her liking, it wasn’t her fault that the door was bugging. Confusion surged within her at the contrast of his cold words and lack of iciness anywhere in his eyes. Nonetheless, she felt hurt by his insensibility. She pushed him away by the chest, “Yeah, sorry about that, and thanks.” She kept her eyes low before storming off, leaving Baekhyun slightly dumbfounded and guilty.

☀️☀️☀️

A loud scream echoed in the middle of the night and the girl bolted awake at the noise, fearful and barely realizing that it had been her own doing. Her heart in her throat as her chest heaved desperately for more air. Again, these nightmares kept following her around. This time, the tears on her cheeks weren’t merely dried stains, no, they were continuously streaming down her face and the blurry vision she woke up with intensified her panic. The sheets no longer on the bed as she had kicked them off in her violent sleep. On her skin were layers of cold sweat that dampened her hair. She had barely caught her breath when a few knocks resounded in her apartment, sending another wave of shock into her body. The girl was extremely adamant to open the door after such a nightmare- but she soon enough reasoned that it could very possibly be anyone of the Byun’s who heard her screams. As she pushed herself up from the bed, her legs almost gave out right there, her vision blackening ever so slightly. A cringe twisted her lips at the damp feeling of sweat down her spine.

Surprisment wasn’t the right word to describe what she felt when she opened the door and found a concerned Baekhyun at her doorstep, looking as if he had sprinted his way up the stairs from his family’s apartment to hers.

“Are you okay? We heard screaming from your apartment, ” Baekhyun was gasping out his words while his eyes danced all over her figure, trying to find anything that would tell him she wasn’t okay, but visibly relaxed when he didn’t see any injury. His voice was still incredibly faint, as if not wanting to scare her off. She bit her lip hesitantly, pushing a hand through her hair, and then settled with a slight nod.

She shrugged Baekhyun’s concern off, making space for the boy so that he could enter her little home instead of standing awkwardly by the door. He followed quietly as she led him to her bed where they both sat down, a noticeable distance between the two of them. His intense stare was burning like fire through her skin as she glanced at him but adverted her gaze immediately, not daring to speak.

Only when a soft breath tumbled out from his lips did she look up- a little startled, the hardness in his eyes had eased up a little when he spoke again, this time softer- letting his concern for her unfolding in the vibrations of his worried voice.

“Are you okay?” She didn’t say anything, but when he called her name in that serious manner, she couldn’t help but do so against her own will.

“I’m fine, it’s just a nightmare, it’s nothing big.” The answer made Baekhyun’s lips curve into a frown while his eyebrows met on his forehead. He hadn’t expected her to wave the issue away so easily, her who always seemed so positive, her who always wore her heart on her sleeve. Only now did Baekhyun realize how much more there actually was to this girl- who said she was fine although tears were slowly dripping from her eyes.

“I don’t think this means being okay,” He disagreed gently, almost a little hesitantly reaching with his fingertips to her cheeks, kindly catching a tear before it could trail further down.

“You had a nightmare, again, "He murmured, "and you’re crying, again,” He reminded her of the time he found her in the same state on the rooftop. She immediately dried her own tears and flashed him a smile- it was far too late for her to try and cover-up for the fact that her broken heart reflected through her teary eyes. Although it had just been a stupid dream, her senses had just been playing with her fears.

If it was possible, Baekhyun’s stare softened, even more. The boy gently latched his fingers around her wrist, tugging her up to her feet. She could only give him big questioning eyes.

“I’ll take you somewhere, come on,” Was all he said in the most comforting of murmurs. Millions of unanswered questions flowed through her mind. What was baekhyun doing? Why was he holding her wrist so casually as if he had never avoided close proximity? Why was her heart skip such wild beats? Why did it confuse her so much when he’d go from distant to incredibly warm, was baekhyun aware of it himself?

Baekhyun didn’t know what had gotten into him when he dragged her outside for a walk- this was so not like him. But those sorrowful eyes of hers, that desperate and lost expression she bore, those tears, he was cold yes, but not enough to ignore such an expression, much less when his heart had clenched so painfully.

Outside was way colder than during the day, but the girl didn’t have the time to worry because the first thing Baekhyun did was give her his sweater- in which she had tried to deny but ended up keeping when Baekhyun’s ice-cold glare was sent in her direction.

The walk was extremely quiet but somehow she found herself not bothered by it- it was a different kind of silence, it wasn’t making her fidget or feel uncomfortable, no, it was calm and healing. The sounds of Baekhyun’s quiet breathing in the still night caressed her ears as he walked a few steps before her. The streets were completely empty and silent, the sound of their shoes against the ground being the only noise.  She looked up to the sky, only to notice how the moon wasn’t completely full anymore, but not fully a crescent yet. Nonetheless, beautiful and bright.

Before she knew it, they had walked through the whole bazaar and reached the beach. Baekhyun was removing his shoes, picking them in his hand and then looking back at her, lifting and expectant eyebrow as if he was waiting for her to do the same. A certain spark exploded in her chest as she snapped out of her thoughts and met her gaze with Baekhyun’s. Quickly, she proceeded to do what he had done and eventually they were walking by the shore, the wet sand sticking under their feet. The waves reached the coast in its slow tempo, at times even tickling under their feet, its sound the most comforting melody that her ears had ever listened to.

She had no idea why Baekhyun had so suddenly brought her here, and no matter how much she tried to answer that question in her head, it always led to more confusion and she realized that he was indeed a puzzle. One of those hard sorts, a puzzle of one thousand and more pieces, and she wondered if it was her place to try and put them together. Though one thing was for sure, and that the night sky reflecting in the sea was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, the water under her feet soothed her senses that had been shocked by the nightmare. The imagines of the dream slowly but surely leaving her conscious. She sighed in the salty breeze, trying to forget about the cracks in her heart, otherwise- how would she be able to live this new life? If she couldn’t run away from her past one, not even in her dreams? Just how-

“I lost something very important to the sea,” Baekhyun’s voice suddenly cut through the silence and startled the girl, but eventually she relaxed, though a bit surprised that he had started the conversation. His words reminded her of what Junmyeon had subtly spoken about. “A very long time ago,” His voice was just a weak murmur as he spoke, eyes dazed as they stared into the distance of the sky, in his orbs reflected the starry night and its sun that was the moon. For some reason, she felt her breath hitch in the inside of her throat, nervous about what he was about to say.

“I lost my parents,” Parents?

“Wha- wait but- Mrs. and Mr. Byun…” She couldn’t help it when the question rolled off her tongue. On Baekhyun’s face displayed a weak and defeated smile. “They’re my aunt and uncle.” Her mouth hung open in shock, her breath not even hitched in her throat- it felt like she had completely forgotten how to breathe. What was that pain in her chest when she looked into Baekhyun’s orbs? Was it because now, she was actually able to decipher what that hesitation in his eyes had always meant?

A lonely, lost boy.

“I lost them to the sea,” His voice was a weak whisper as if he was doing his best to hide the huge lump in his throat, waiting for the layer of tears glazing on his eyes to dissipate.

“Baekhyun- I’m-” She said breathily, not knowing what to say, refusing to say the words sorry because the last thing she wanted for him to think was that she saw him as was pitiful. She knew how much it hurt to be looked at with that kind of feeling. Though before she could finish her sentence, Baekhyun had already cut her off, an understanding yet defeated look painting his face.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago,” He sighed, “But you know? Sometimes I have this feeling in my chest, and maybe I’m delusional, but I feel like it’s not completely over yet, like they’re still out there, finding their way to me.” The glint of hope in his voice, in his eyes, was like the brightest star she had yet to see on tonight’s milky way sky.

“Having hope is not being delusional, Baekhyun, If you feel it then it must mean something.” She eventually said, her voice so raw as she thought about how he was desperately yearning for his family while all she was trying to was running away from her own.

Baekhyun didn’t answer but from the comfortable silence, she could tell that he appreciated it.

“We’re the complete opposites…” She breathed out almost incredulously. Baekhyun snapped his head in her direction at her words, it hadn’t been anything he had expected her to say.

“What do you mean?” He sounded confused but the girl caught on the little glint of curiousness in the undertone of his voice.

“I am-” She never thought that she would ever be here, pronouncing these words. All she was trying to do was forget, forget and forget, to leave her past behind her.  But now, she didn’t know why she found herself exposing all the cards on the table. Maybe it was Baekhyun and the moon in his soft eyes, Baekhyun who had woken up in the middle of the night just to check if she was okay after a nightmare. Baekhyun who put his sweater on her shoulders over and over again, Baekhyun who always seemed to find her when she was in trouble, Baekhyun who she could trust.

Trust.

“I’m a runaway.” She finally said the words that tasted so extremely bitter on her tongue. Baekhyun’s eyes turned the size of two saucers and she could tell that he was barely holding in the loud “what!?” that would have echoed in the whole neighborhood. From shock, his expression morphed into confusion.

“But why?” His voice was a little hesitant, she could tell that he was being careful about the strings he was pulling. She didn’t know whether she was ready to talk about it- but before she could decide- her lips had already parted and she was talking.

“I lived in a foster family- and well,” She let out a shaky breath, even just having to speak about it made a lump form in her throat. Her vision blurred more and more for every second that passed. She let out a little embarrassed laugh while drying her tears with the sleeves of Baekhyun’s sweater that she was wearing. “Sorry- It’s just a bit hard to talk about it,” Baekhyun shook his head and before she knew it, he was there in front of her, eyes pooling with gentleness as he placed a hand on her arm, rubbing it comfortingly, drawing lazy circles. Calling her name made her finally meet his gaze, it shocked her when he gently held her hand in his to bring it down from her face. His hold so light- almost as if it was barely there- and yet she felt it like fire on her damp skin.

“You don’t have to force yourself to talk about it if you don’t feel like it.” He whispered tenderly but she shook her head dismissively, she had to be strong. She realized that only through this, she could really leave her past behind her and start this new life. She had to face her pains and fears, thus hiding from them wouldn’t make them disappear. “I’m okay,” She held her hand up, finishing to dry up the tears with the other. After taking a big and shaky breath, she cleared her throat and slowly tried again. The lump was still very much present in her throat, closing it up and forcing her not to speak, however, somehow, she managed to push through it.

“They… Let’s say I was accepted into their family at the wrong timing- I ended up becoming a punching bag for their anger and issues. I was the answer to all of their problems, and they hurt me. Physically. But I don’t want to blame them, you know? Because they still took me in and in one way or another they took care of me.” She confessed. “Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely happy moments too, I had two stepbrothers there, they were basically my best friends and- gosh,” The girl almost choked on a sob as she mentioned the ones that had been her only steady rocks during the hard times, she would be lying if she said they didn’t matter anything to her anymore.

“I really miss them- But I couldn’t stay in that house Baekhyun, I didn’t feel part of that family- I wasn’t and will never be. The beating had started getting worse and, I, couldn’t stay in there, you understand that, right, Baekhyun?” Before she knew it, fresh thick tears had started to spill from her eyes all over again and her voice had become a mess of loud sobs pushing past her throat. The guilt and desperation were eating her heart like insects to a corpse. She was speaking as if seeking reassurance, as if she was afraid that she could have handled the situation in a better way. As if she had done something bad to her foster family. “I wasn’t being ungrateful, right? I was wasn’t? I ran away after all they-” It was futile trying to form any sentences, her crying had gradually become uncontrollable and it sucked away all of her breath. Leaving her gasping for air, any sound became extremely distant, numbed by her own cries. Baekhyun who had until now been staring and listening to her intently felt completely powerless in front of this girl, his heart was breaking at the sight- but what was he supposed to do? Tell her it was okay? Touch her?

Not being able to stand another second seeing her suffer like that, Baekhyun took a big step closer to her and put his hand on the back of her head, the other snaked around her shoulders as he gently guided her to his solid yet incredibly comfortable chest. His scent that she loved so much enfolded her senses and her ragged breathing started calming down as the male caressed her scalp ever so gently, his cheek rested on her crown as he murmured the most reassuring words he could muster, just like his mother would comfort him.

“No, I understand you, You did what your heart told you to do, it’s okay to do things for our well being, whether it involves running away or any other crazy doing,” He whispered in her ear, somehow in the process he had started rocking their bodies gently to the rhythm of the ocean waves. “You’re not ungrateful, maybe, sometimes, the true us awaits us in another place- In another life- I think it’s just fair that we go look for it no matter how far it might be. It’d be worth it.” By then she had completely calmed down, though Baekhyun’s words were what had made her look up from his chest, his shirt by now drenched in her tears. Her eyes wide with shock but still she threw her arms around his shoulders and tightened her hold around him.

There was never going to be anything more precious to her than the words she had just received from the Beautiful blue-eyed boy embracing her, chasing her nightmares away.

“Maybe, sometimes, the true us awaits us in another place- In another life- I think it’s just fair that we go look for it no matter how far it might be. It’d be worth it.”

☀️☀️☀️

The following days and even weeks felt for the girl extremely different. But in a good way. She felt happy and unexpectedly light after having opened up to Baekhyun who had seemed so accepting of her past although it was something so undesirable. Hence, she felt as if there was a bond forming between them and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t being very excited about Baekhyun. The boy had started showing so many more emotions that she, in the beginning, had not known how to handle it. He had started greeting her good mornings when they’d first meet on their shifts in the bakery, not to mention the tightlipped smile that he so genuinely sent her, making her heart feel very weird things in the chest, something that she didn’t want to address just yet.

When they’d bake on the same counter he would every once in a while glance at how she was doing, popping questions such as is everything going well? or Do you need help? Being extremely thoughtful and good Lord, open? So open that it astounded her, could Byun Baekhyun really be doing this or was she dreaming? Was this what he had been suppressing all of this time? Although he sometimes was still very hesitant and reserved, Baekhyun had stopped acting as if he didn’t care, he started treating her more like… More like a friend and just that thought alone was valid enough for her heart to burst.

The time ticked twelve o'clock and oddly enough, the bakery wasn’t oozing with costumers as it usually would, that meant a calmer environment in the kitchen. Also, no nervous and frantic Jongdae spilling flour or breaking cups, no yelling Mrs. or Mr. Byun, no cramps in her poor fingers by all the dough kneading. There was a happy smile playing on her lips although there was a giddy sensation tickling her insides. She had no idea why, but for some reason, she couldn’t stop glancing over at Baekhyun’s waking figure. His whole being was like a huge magnet to which her eyes flew to before she’d even know it.

Her heart betrayed her with the wild skip upon her eyes for the first time taking notice of the way his serious expression made him look so incredibly mesmerizing, how his veins popped from under the exposed skin of his forearm as he had rolled his sleeves up. His ridiculously beautiful hands working the dough fiercely, the girl found herself swallowing a lump of saliva before settling her gaze back on the knife in her hand, resuming the cutting of strawberries. An incredible urge to talk with the boy surged from the deepest parts of her, an urge to hear his voice directed towards her being. She did not even know what to say.  

Just a few moments later, after a mental preparation, she dared herself to turn around and talk with the boy but found him already walking in the opposite direction. A long sigh of disbelief left her lips, defeatedly cutting the strawberries on the tray while keeping her eyes on Baekhyun’s back not too many feet away. With her attention solely on Baekhyun, it had only been a matter of time before she eventually cut herself with the big knife, a loud yelp erupting from her throat. Everyone’s head turned to her direction, worried looks on the Kim brothers’ faces, ready to sprint for her aid. Though Baekhyun was the quickest to react out of all, and before she knew it, the boy was already standing in front of her, inspecting the injury on her finger with concerned yet serious eyes. Mrs. and Mr. Byun were curiously watching the unusual view of a concerned Baekhyun, as well as Jongdae and Junmyeon.

The boy looked frantically around but found no sink or paper in the area to clean her cut on which a small bubble of blood had started to form. Not wanting the blood to overflow, Baekhyun gently led her finger to his lips, parting them ever so slightly before delicately planting them on her fingertip. She could feel how his lips lightly sucked on her skin to take away the blood, the heat under her skin had started rushing furiously to her cheeks. The beetroot red color spread all the way to her ears, her heart echoing in her head as she feared herself to faint at any second. Though she wasn’t the only flustered one in this kitchen, Mrs.Byun whispered a surprised yet embarrassed Oh My!  while hiding her face in her husband’s chest. Jongdae wore an amused smirk on his face, full of smugness, while Junmyeon’s eyes couldn’t believe a single thing that they were seeing, he gasped loudly, mouth wide open.

☀️☀️☀️

Here you all go~ In this not so small birthday update, the whole truth is revealed in its rawest (and my mediocre) angst!! And replaced with fluff, but don’t get fooled, there is more angst to come!😭 Anyways, thank you all for reading this story, I’ve really poured all of my motivation for anything in this story and it means the world to me that you guys are giving it your precious time. So thank you💕💞✨

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 13

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 4,108

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

"Why are you stuffing the freezers full of Sven plushies?"

My arm stopped mid-motion and I blinked owlishly up at Frozone from where I was kneeled down on the Ice Palace floor in front of said freezers.

...I wasn't, was I?

Looking down at my hand and, more specifically, what was in it, I winced.

Yes. Yes, I was.

Fudge.

Hastily scooping them all off the stacks of ice cream bars and back out onto the tiled ground beneath me, I shot up to my feet, hiding one behind my back with a tiny, awkward laugh . "Oh! That! Yes, uh… I was just… trying to give them a… nice… frosty sheen! To, erm, make them more… authentic? Yeah, you know, since reindeer are from the frozen north, or, ah… somewhere… like that, heh!"

His eyelids drooped. "I… see."

"Oh yeah, chilled plushies are the new 'It' thing." Really? This was the hill I was choosing to die on? Apparently it was. I shoved the little caribou I was still holding into his face now, showing off the icy glaze to its fur coat as I pressed on, "They're all the rage in, er… Norway."

"Norway. Right," Frozone deadpanned as he gingerly took the proffered doll by one of its antlers. Don't think he was quite convinced. Just a wild guess here. "Call me old fashioned but for now, let's just keep all the plushes at room temperature, shall we? And please, run any other... innovations you might have by me first," he flashed me a thousand watt smile, "sound good?"

I returned it with a shaky one of my own, "A-absolutely!" He nodded and as soon as he turned his back on me, my grin faded into a grimace and I buried my face in my hands.

This hadn't been the first of my little "innovations" since starting my shift today.

Other winners included almost dumping used popsicle sticks instead of ice cream into the soft serve/milkshake machine, trying to pile scoops onto straws instead of cones, and giving taste spoons out as change for payment.

Yeah, that particular customer hadn't been exactly thrilled by the last one. Apparently the world just wasn't ready for my groundbreaking and avant-gard new form of currency.

But really, I just wasn't paying attention. I couldn't help it! I was too distracted and completely unable to focus. Hadn't been able to since the study session had ended yesterday. I'd hadn't even gotten a wink of sleep last night, merely tossed and turned while my thoughts had kept running round and round in endless circles.

I just… still couldn't get over it.

Me.

Having a crush.

My brain wouldn't wrap around it. I quite simply did not grok.

For starters, was I forgetting the six year relationship I had just been in? The fiancé I'd left at the altar a few short weeks ago? What was he, chopped liver? How could I just start having… feelings or whatever for someone else so quickly? I mean, okay sure, I hadn't been in love with the guy, but still… wasn't this breaking the rules or something? Committing some sort of romantic faux pas? Spurning basic etiquette in matters of the heart?

Perhaps I should take a step back and look at this all more objectively. Maybe I was just confused and didn't really know what it was I was actually feeling. Just what were these emotions exactly, anyway? I'd definitely never felt them before, and certainly not for my ex. But just because these sentiments were new and I was experiencing them only in the presence of a certain boy, didn't necessarily mean they were, um… affectionate in nature, right?

Yeah, this didn't have to be a crush. I was only jumping to conclusions! Lea was a great guy, absolutely, and I liked him, you know, as a person, but that didn't mean that I, like… like-liked him! I barely even knew him, for crying out loud! Granted, I did know he was kind, sweet, caring, funny, clever, made me feel comfortable around him (that in itself was kind of a miracle), and was a cutie-patootie to boot, but that didn't-

Wait.

Back up.

What was that word I'd just used?

...cutie...patootie?

Bleh, where had that even come from?

That's the thing about crushes, boo. You don't have to really know the person, just think they're a total cutie-patootie!

I shuddered as my roomie's earlier words came back to haunt me.

Thanks, Ghost of Rayne Past, this was exactly what I didn't need right now.

Okay, fine, so maybe it was a crush. I don't know! This was new territory for me! And even it was, so what? It's not like it mattered. Lea wasn't dating at the moment. Girls were a distraction, he was focusing on his school work, yada yada, that whole thing. And say, for the sake of argument, that weren't the case. It's not like I'd ever have the guts to…

...what?

Ask him out?

Pffft, me? Elsa, Queen of the Chickens?

Please!

And even if I went all the way to the magical land of Oz to ask the great wizard himself for some courage so I could so much as even begin to consider acting on these alleged feelings I may or may not have, Lea didn't see me like that. He'd made that abundantly clear. When he'd finally ended his self-imposed exile to the bathroom yesterday, the sheer amount of awkward that had filled the room after that had been enough to suffocate. And even when we did eventually manage to fall into a comfortable study rhythm once more, it didn't slip my notice that he'd always seemed to try and keep the table between the two of us for the rest of the evening.

So really, it was all moot. Lea wasn't interested. Which was okay, because I wasn't interested in him either! ...or maybe I was, but that was beside the point! The point was that this crush, if that's even really what it was, was a non-entity. Nothing that was ever going to be acted on. Nothing worth losing my head over like this, getting all-

"Elsa?" A throat cleared nearby and I glanced over my shoulder to see Frozone, back once more, now complete with a deadpan look. He held up a metal scoop. "...try this maybe?"

I stared blankly from it to him.

...crud, had I done it again?

I looked down at my hands and immediately got my answer.

Indeed I had. I'd zoned out for the umpteenth time and gone on auto-pilot. And my auto-pilot? Sucked. Big time.

Last I'd checked before I'd gone all space cadet, I'd been cleaning up the pile of Svens off the floor and hanging them back up on their hooks. Now that I was tuning back in, it seemed I'd wrapped up that task and had since moved on to assisting a customer. That customer had requested scooped ice cream on a cone - or so the hope would be, given I had a cone in hand (good start) and had opened the glass display to the refrigerated tubs. However, I'd apparently been about to start scooping… with nothing but my bare friggin' fingers.

I looked back at Frozone, plastering on a smile. "Oh, this? This is just, ah… well you know, studies have linked the use of traditional ice cream scoops back to, er… male… pattern baldness!" Ugh, just stop already, mouth, you're not helping! Do you not remember how bad at lying we are?! "Something about the way the, um, the metal... alloy interacts with the sugar is just… just yeah, bad juju or something." What I wouldn't give for a muzzle right now. What even were the words coming out of my mouth anymore? "Nine out of ten experts agree that, ah, scooping with just your hands is the safest, healthiest option, so… there you go! A great lil tip there for you, so yeah… you're welcome!"

"...I think I'll take my chances," he said, tone flat. Then he was pulling me to one side, out of earshot of the patron, "Okay, girl, you clearly got a lot going on up in there at the moment," he tapped me on the forehead a couple times, "so tell you what. I'll finish helping this customer while you gather the rest of the scoops, take them to the back for a rinse and use that minute to clear your head. Alright?"

Straightening up slightly, I gave a quick nod. "Yes sir."

"Atta girl." A quick pat on my shoulder from him, then he was moving off to greet the customer.

Giving myself a small shake, I then quickly set to work collecting the steel utensils. Focus. Focus! This wasn't the time to be twisting myself up in knots over something so inane. There'd be plenty of time for such self-indulgent stupidity once I got back home later tonight. For now, think ice cream. That's it, pure and simple. Ice cream. Live it, breathe it, bleed it. Ice cream. Nothing else existed. Nope, not a thing. Most definitely not-

My gaze chose that second to flick up, glancing towards the other side of the food court. Yup, you guessed it. A certain redhead was currently on shift at a certain pizzeria across the way. Lea was back at it with the pizza dough sorcery, spinning and tossing one on each hand. By chance, our eyes met and to my surprise, gone was any trace of lingering weirdness from yesterday. In fact, his face brightened as he flung one disc up into the air, freeing up that hand to give me an energetic wave.

There was a tiny spasm in my chest and I spun on my heel, turning my back to him.

We've been hit by friendly fire, captain! Status report.

Eyes? Wide and unblinking.

Hands? Strangling metal scoops while simultaneously pressing them against my hammering chest.

Face? Roasting like a honey-glazed ham on Christmas Eve.

...hold up… gah, what the heck was I doing?! Why was I freaking out? Weren't we past all this already, Elsa? Hadn't we left that awkward stage of your friendship with Lea in the dust behind us long ago? So what if you maybe, kind of, sort of had a teensy-weensy crush on him now? This wasn't grade school, you were a damn grown-up! So start acting like one, turn your butt around and wave back at him already!

So I did. I squared my shoulders, put on my best smile, did another about-face and waved back.

...and in my enthusiasm in said wave, I managed to smack myself in the face with the handful of metal scoops I was still holding.

Nailed it.

"I saw that," I heard Frozone's dry voice behind me and I whipped around to discover him all done with the customer and now standing there, arms crossed. "Don't tell me, let me guess. Whatever hang-up is going on with you has to do with that pizza boy." Pause to quirk an eyebrow. "Again."

I gulped, eyes darting to the left. "Heh… pizza what? Boy who?" Crickets. "I'm-going-to-go-wash-these-now-okay-bye!" I blurted out like it was all one word and bolted through the door to the back.

Whew! Dodged that bullet like Neo!

A few minutes later I was walking back out to the storefront, freshly cleaned utensils in hand and hoping Frozone wasn't going to feel like picking up exactly where we'd left off in that conversation. Seemed I was in luck, for all he said was, "I'm gonna go on my lunch break now. Should be slow since the rush just died down." He gave me a pointed look, "I trust you're all good now and can handle things on your own for a bit?"

Relieved, I gave a nod as I started putting the scoops back in their spots. "You can count on me."

"That's what I like to hear," he grinned, holding his fist out for a bump and I only hesitated for a second before lightly tapping my knuckles to his. "Alright, be back soon!"

I watched him go, then finished returning all the utensils before taking up position behind the cash register. Okay, you can do this. Don't let your mind wander. Stay in the here and now. Look around and pick something to concentrate on, keep you grounded. Like that plastic spork underneath that one table out there, dropped and forgotten, yet to be swept up by a roaming janitor. Or… that grey tabby at the Lucky Cat Café, what was his name again... Chirithy? Yeah, that sounded right. Or at Anna over there, bursting through the double doors, running straight for me as if her life depended on it and-

...wait, what?

Anna?

What was she doing here?

And why did she look so frantic and horrified?

When she got close enough, I began, "Anna, why are you-"

"Sis!" she shouted, stumbling to a stop in front of me and slamming both her hands down next to the register. "Shush! Listen!" She looked like she'd just ran a marathon and was out of breath, her every word punctuated with a pant or a wheeze. "Back… Back at- Overheard... Talking... Yelling… Mall ice cream! Mad, so… so friggin' mad! Drove… drove here! Quick as I- Right behind me! Just barely got here before… before-" She suddenly hissed in pain and pulled one knee up to her chest, grabbing her foot in both hands and bouncing up and down on the other. "Frick! Owie, charley horse! Charley horse!"

Figures her super human power to babble would fail her in the hour of her greatest need.

At a loss, I reached out across the counter to rest a hand on her arm, "Anna, slow down. Breathe. I can't understand you, you're missing some nouns there. What are you trying to tell me? Why-"

Using the countertop for support now, she grabbed me by the shirt and yanked me closer, bringing us nose to nose. "He's here! He knows!"

My blood ran cold.

I swallowed hard. "H-he? He w-who?"

Please, please, please don't say-

"The Duke!"

...oh.

Then it wasn't-

Well that's a relief!

Wait… Oh… Oh dear god, no… no, it most definitely was not!

Those food court's doors banged open a second time now and in he marched, proud and regal in all his big-nosed, bad combover, bushy mustachioed glory.

Weselton "The Duke" Fryse.

Aka my great uncle.

He and I weren't exactly on the best of terms, and that was even before I went all AWOL on my wedding day. Me being the eldest and heir to his nephew's fortune, he'd never quite forgiven me for not being born male. But I mean, come on pal, that was over twenty-two years ago - let it go already! The man was the very definition of dotty old coot and insufferable windbag. And for someone who talks so much, he surprisingly says very little. Mostly antiquated opinions and unsolicited advice, every last bit of it wrong and holier-than-thou. For all his ramblings over the decades, we had yet to even hear the story of where his nickname had even come from. Did it have to do with the esteemed university? Had the Queen of England herself actually honored him with the title? Did he have a reputation back in his day of settling matters by "duking" it out? Who knew? And honestly, who really cared?

But none of that mattered at the moment. What mattered was that he was here. That he knew. And if he knew, that meant mother and father knew. And if they knew… he probably knew as well. You know. Him. My ex.

It was official.

This was it.

The Worst Day Ever.

My chest seized. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't move. All I could do was watch in abject terror as the Duke drew ever nearer, head held high and stern, bespectacled glare burning holes into me. In fact, I think those glasses were even magnifying the sheer, seething rage contained within that scowl of his and turning it into a straight up death ray.

So this was how I was going to die, huh? Funny. I'd always thought clowns would be the ones to do me in. Well… this was the Duke after all, so… close enough.

How had he even found out? Anna never would have told him. How on earth…?

He at last came to a halt before me, hands folding behind his back. He spared a brief, unamused glance out of the corner of his eyes towards Anna, gracing her with a sniff of disdain. She merely glowered back at him. Then his full attention was on me. "Well, well, young lady," he intoned coldly, staring down his nose at me, "just what do you have to say for yourself?"

Okay, Elsa, easy there. You're going to get through this. Put away the shaky knees and sweaty palms. You're calm. You're collected. Just rationally and eloquently explain yourself to him so he sees your side of it and he'll understand and be on his way.

Clenching and unclenching my hands, took a deep breath and opened my mouth.

Calm. Rational. Eloquent.

Here we go.

"I, um… hm… guh… nhg?"

Well done.

"...quite." His mustache twitched dangerously from side to side. "Please then, allow me. You ran out on your wedding. Wasted your father's valuable time and munny. Broke your poor mother's heart. Embarrassed your whole family. Disrespected your betrothed's family. Disappeared with nary a trace, not so much as one word from you for a month, worrying us all sick... All for what? This?" His narrowed gaze gave the Ice Palace in its entirety a once over and, clearly, found it wanting. "...a ramshackle ice cream booth in a mall. A mall of all places!" he roared and I flinched, but said nothing.

I couldn't. Words had abandoned me. Panic had paralyzed me. All I could do was shrink more and more in on myself, wishing for the ground to swallow me up as his lecture turned into a full on tirade now.

"Working like some lowly, middle-class plebeian! Living heaven only knows where! Fraternizing with commoners! Have you no shame, child?! You little ingrate, you… you little monster! I always knew you'd be the downfall of this family! Of all the selfish, witless, deplorable, irresponsible, contemptible, impudent-"

"Cram it, Weaseltown!" Anna spat out, putting herself between me and him.

Oh great. Now here my baby sister came to fight my battles for me while I cowered behind her. My humiliation was complete.

He took a step back, nostrils flaring and mustache flapping violently as he huffed and puffed. "It's Weselton! The Duke to you, you spoiled brat! I always said your father should've used a firmer hand with you! You've grown wild! You're a disgrace! The both of you are! Why, if your father were here right this second, he'd-"

"Yeah, well he's not!" Anna got in his face now, staring him down as she stabbed a finger into his chest, "You are! Why is that, I wonder? Where is Daddy Dearest anyway?"

Talk! Say something, damn it! Please, just stop standing here doing nothing like a total idiot!

"Such impudence!" he slapped her hand away. "He's back at home, tending to your grief-stricken mother who is inconsolable, simply inconsolable upon learning the truth! Neither of them could bring themselves to come down here and bear the wretched sight of their eldest! So I took it upon myself after breaking the dreadful news to-"

She stamped her foot and snarled, "So it was you! Oh I bet you just couldn't wait to go and tattle to our parents as soon as you knew! Bet you were just positively giddy. How'd you do it? How'd you find out, you big weasel?!"

Their shouting match was causing a scene. People were beginning to stare. Including… I reluctantly dragged my gaze over towards the Pizza Planet… yup. There Lea was with a frown and one eyebrow cocked as he set the dough aside to watch this bit of drama unfold.

For the love of all that is good and mortifying, just end me. End me now. Please.

The Duke stiffened, face blotchy with barely restrained fury. "Hold your vile tongue, you snot-nosed whelp! I'll have you know the information was as good as mine the minute you told us she'd texted you. I knew if I hired a man to follow you, you'd lead us straight to her."

Anna gaped, "You had someone friggin' spying on me?!"

"And rightly so!" he harrumphed, puffing out his chest. "The scandals he reported back to me, why, I nearly died from disgrace! Carousing in a seedy, two-bit pub! Mingling with the filthy yokels! Prancing about on some stage, making an utter mockery out of yourself! Not to mention naught but days later, rendezvousing in secret at some mongrel's hovel and holing up in there with him for hours, you, you, you trollop!"

My stomach fell further and further, my face paler and paler with every word. Dear lord, he knew about all of that?! And what was he even talking about, holing up with- wait, was he talking when I'd helped Lea study? There'd been someone there, some sort of, what… private investigator or something, watching me the whole time? Might still be watching me, even now?

Oh crud, now Lea was over his counter and heading this way. Turn back, you kind, brave, naive fool! You know not the powers you seek to tangle with! Back! Back, I say! Back to the craft of pizza and outer space from whence thou came!

"So the frick what?!" my sister gave a scoff. "Elsa can do whatever with whoever she wants! As far as I'm concerned, what she does with her life is none of your business, you old fart!"

"I make it my business when her actions ruin this family's good name! Now enough of this charade, this, this absolute farce!" The Duke looked past Anna to point at me, "You have a duty to perform, young lady! A responsibility to uphold! You will come home this instant and marry-"

Shoving his arm away, Anna snapped, "She will not! Don't you understand? She doesn't love him, she wasn't happy!"

This was getting out of hand. Somehow, someway, whatever spell that kept me frozen abruptly broke. My feet were suddenly on the move and I was running out from behind the counter. I had to do something. Get between them, break this up, I don't know… just something.

The Duke sneered, "As if love and happiness matter in a marriage, bah!"

"They do when it's… it's…" she frowned in thought for a split second, then her face broke out into a triumphant grin. "When it's true love!"

A huff of a derisive laugh. "True love? Now you're just spouting off nonsense, pure hogwash!"

"Nu uh! In fact," there was now a sly gleam to her eye, "Elsa's already met her true love."

"She's what?!"

I've what?

At her words, I staggered and tripped, nearly colliding into my sister. Anna grabbed my shoulders, keeping me upright. Then she gave me a wink, grin twitching wider before looking back at our great uncle, "What'd you think? That that 'secret rendezvous' as you put it was... what? Just a fling? A one night stand? A booty call? Ha! Well jokes on you, Weaseltown, cuz that was her boyfriend!"

"Her what?!"

My what?

"That's right!" she cackled now as the Duke spluttered and wheeze, his hand going to his chest. "They're in love! Have been for a while now! She… oh! She ran away from her wedding to just be with him! Yeah!"

Anna, what are you doing? Anna, please stop!

"Hey, what seems to be the problem here?" Lea stepped up to join us just then.

Turn back! Back, I say!

"Well if it isn't the man of the hour!" Anna beamed at him, to which he just merely blinked and tipped his head to one side. "Weaseltown, allow me to introduce you to," she shoved me at Lea who caught me as I crashed into his chest, both eyebrows shooting up his forehead in confusion, "Elsa's one and only… her beau, her lover, her boyfriend and one true love! They make just the cutest couple, don'tcha think?"

"Wha- huh?!" Lea's grip on me tightened, his eyes widened and his face flushed bright red.

As for the Duke? Well, I suppose he handled it about as well as could be expected.

He fainted.

Author's Note: Anna, hon, no… Anna why? The way that girl's mind works sometimes, I swear… Lol! You might be able to guess where this is going, dear readers xD But if not, don't worry, it's gonna be spelled out for you reeeeeal soon xP Also, yay, a cameo from The Duke in all his huffy, stuffy, blustering glory! Just what we needed to mix things up, and boy, did things EVER get mixed up!

Next chapter, how will Elsa react to her sister's lil "announcement"? Not to mention, how will LEA react? Will Elsa ever be able to sort through her tangled feelings about this thing that may or may not be a crush? Is Elsa ACTUALLY onto something there with the frozen plushies idea? Is the Duke just straight up DEAD?! …probably not, but it was a fun question to ask xD Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[helloalycia]

date night // kara danvers

summary: you're an alien that crash-lands on Earth, and with the help of Kara, you adjust to this new planet. However, some feelings develop along with way, and the concept of a date seems to be a foreign idea to you.

warning/s: none.

masterlist

          "Are you sure I'll be okay? I mean, with the humans?"

         Kara smiled, and it spread a sense of reassurance within me. "You will be absolutely fine. I believe in you, and you need to start believing in yourself."

         I trusted her words, always, but I still felt a little nervous as the elevator went higher and higher and closer and closer to the floor of Kara's workplace. She must have sensed my nerves though, as she wrapped her strong arms around me and patted my back slowly.

         "I promise you, nothing will go wrong, and you might even enjoy yourself!"

         I tried very hard to ignore the storm of butterflies in my stomach as she pulled away, leaving a gap of warmth between us.

         "Just make sure not to show your powers," she reminded with an adorable giggle, making my heart swell. She was so beautiful.

         "No powers, got it," I agreed, and just in time, too because the elevator doors opened and revealed a very fast-paced environment; people were rushing around everywhere, from what I could see.

         "Come on, you got this," she reassured, lacing her fingers through mine, making me tense up at the action.

         I looked down at our fingers, and back up to meet her crystal blue eyes. She was smiling at me toothlessly, and it sent shivers down my spine. I appreciated her help so much, ever since she had found me in my pod that had crash-landed on Earth about a month ago. She was patient in teaching me new things about this foreign planet, and she understood how I felt, which was the most important thing. In the process, I had managed to grow feelings for her, and it didn't help that they were beginning to be displayed.

         She tugged me along, out of the elevator, and I followed behind like a lost puppy, still a little awestruck at the feeling of her hand in mine. I wasn't really paying much attention to my surroundings, (I was mostly looking at how pretty Kara looked today in her little work getup), so I wasn't aware of how we reached my new desk area.

         Releasing my hand, and leaving me a little disappointed, Kara motioned to a white desk with a chair to match, and a computer sitting on top.

         "This is it!" she squealed with excitement, making me smile immediately. "This is your very own desk, where you'll be completing tasks, sending emails, answering phone calls – the lot!"

         During her short ramble, she was walking forwards, but now she turned around and a grin was on her lips, only making me even more enamoured with her beauty.

         "Thank you, Kara," I said, pushing my fake glasses up the bridge of my nose. Kara had given them to me as a disguise, though personally, I didn't see how it hid me from anything.

         "It's no problem at all, Y/N," she said, laughing it off. Grabbing my hand once again, she began to drag me away. "Time to meet your new boss."

         I admired her enthusiasm for wanting to show me around. She was over the moon to share her life with me, and I couldn't be any more grateful than I already was for her help. She was like a breath of fresh air, and I found myself pondering how I was so lucky to have her in my life.

         Eventually, she had to leave me be because she had her own job to do, which was on a different floor from mine. Of course I was hesitant to be left alone on my first day, but one reassuring smile from Kara made me feel better. Besides, I had James if I needed anything, according to Kara. James was my boss, but not a mean, scary one like how they were represented on television and the movies I had watched.

         I went about my daily tasks throughout the morning, managing to complete all of them up to expected standard. By the time it was lunch, I barely had anything left to do, which was apparently a good thing.

         "I'm not kidding, Kara, she's an insane worker," James gushed, which was very very awkward for me because all I could do was smile uncomfortably and look at my sandwich as Kara watched me with a smile on her lips.

         The three of us were sat in James's office eating lunch together, and for the past five minutes, all that was being said was how good of a worker I was. I was never good with compliments, which didn't help.

         "Okay, James, I think Kara has heard enough about my morning," I interrupted him, looking up and trying to ignore my flaming cheeks.

         He noticed my embarrassed demeanour and chuckled. Meanwhile, Kara wouldn't look away from me, and it made me feel all sick inside. The good kind, I think.

         "No, I don't mind," Kara reassured, and I met her gaze when she settled a hand on my knee. "I'm really glad that you're fitting in, Y/N."

         I opened my mouth to respond, but a series of awkward squeals and squeaks came out, making me bite my lower lip and look down shyly. The rest of our lunch was practically that. Myself acting flustered around the Kryptonian, and James watching our interaction with amusement. By the time Kara had to leave, I was practically a tomato in my seat.

         "I'll see you later, Y/N," Kara said, smiling brightly at me as she left James's office.

         I returned her smile and waved goodbye, subconsciously unable to tear my eyes away from her retreating form.

         "Wow, you got it bad."

         I quirked an eyebrow at a smirking James. "What are you– what do you mean?"

         "A crush," he stated with a mere shrug of his shoulders, before heading to his desk. "On Kara."

         "A crush...," I repeated, trying to understand what that meant. I recalled hearing that term being used in some of the movies I had watched, but I couldn't exactly pinpoint the definition.

         Suspecting my confusion, James paused from shuffling about some paperwork and looked at me with amusement. "You know, a crush. Falling for somebody. You like Kara. More than a friend." Understanding what he meant, my eyes widened slightly, and he chuckled, adding, "Don't worry. I won't tell her."

         He continued to sort through his paperwork, meanwhile, I was feeling the palms of my hands growing clammy at the realisation that somebody else knew I liked Kara.

         "I– I don't like Kara," I stuttered unconvincingly, before correcting myself, "I mean, as more than a friend."

         James rolled his eyes, a humoured expression evident on his face. "You're a very bad liar, Y/N. Almost as bad as you are with hiding your feelings for Kara."

         I frowned and felt my whole posture sink as I sat back down, disappointed with the fact that I couldn't hide my feelings very well, and it wouldn't be long before Kara found out, too. I was bought from my stumped thoughts when I felt James's presence as sit back down, opposite me. He had a kind smile on his lips.

         "Just ask her out, Y/N," he said, as if it were no big deal. "What's stopping you?"

         I licked my lips and sat up straight, saying, "Well, there's the possibility of her not returning my feelings. Sheer embarrassment and humiliation. I could lose her friendship, and she wouldn't want to mentor me anymore. There's also the fact that–"

         "Okay, okay, I regret asking," he interrupted me, laughing at my worried expression. "Listen, Y/N. I've been in your position. The only thing stopping me from making a move was my fear. Don't let it stop you."

         I sighed and leaned back into my chair. "How would I even go about it?"

         He snickered. "Well, that's easy. You start small. Ask her on a date."

         I furrowed my brows. "Uh, that's that thing where you go out with somebody, right?"

         He nodded, though his expression was slightly confused. "Kind of. It's more of a thing where you spend time with somebody to get to know them better and bond. It could be going out, or even staying home. It's a good starting point when you like someone."

         I nodded as he was speaking, already thinking about the endless amount of possibilities of things I could do with Kara. Only, I realised I had no idea what we would do. So, I asked James. "How do I know what to do on this date? Do we go for a walk? Do paperwork together? Read?"

         He laughed loudly and patted me on the shoulder as he stood up. "Just ask her what she likes to do, Y/N, and go from there."

         I nodded and felt a sudden determination when I realised I had a chance. "A date... I can do that."

***

         STEP 1: give your date options.

         Well, Kara said she was free tonight, so even if it wasn't an option, I knew I had the chance.

         STEP 2: get a feel for your date's interests.

         That I had definitely done. I had asked Kara what she enjoyed doing in her free time, yesterday after work, and discovered that she enjoyed reading, watching TV, and eating Potstickers. After some research, I discovered what the latter was, which made my job a lot easier.

         STEP 3: make reservations.

         I wasn't planning on taking her out to eat, so this was pointless, however, I had ordered Potstickers, so I was on the right track.

         STEP 4: have a back-up plan.

         This wasn't really necessary either, as everything was at her apartment that we were both living in currently, so I could technically check that off, too.

         STEP 5: don't ma–

         "Hey, Y/N," Kara's perky voice made me jump, and I quickly closed the tab on my computer screen as she approached my desk.

         I had tried using the internet thingy that Kara had once mentioned, hoping it would give me inspiration for my date. It turns out this online gizmo had a whole checklist on what to do to have the perfect date! So, I was trying my best to follow all the suggestions in order to have the perfect date with Kara.

         A bright smile was on my lips as I tried not to draw attention to the fact that she had surprised me. "Kara! Hey! What– what are you doing here?"

         She chuckled at my natural awkwardness and took a seat on my desk. I felt my stomach doing backflips at the sound of her laughter and the smile on her lips; she was beautiful.

         "I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out for lunch?" she said, though it was more of a question as she wore a hopeful smile.

         I licked my lips and found my nerves growing stronger as she awaited an answer. I nodded my head slowly, opening my mouth to speak, but I was too nervous to say anything.

         "Cool! Well, finish up whatever you're doing and I'll meet you by James's office, yeah?" she asked, a bright smile on her lips as she stood up straight.

          “Mhm," is all I could get out in my flustered state.

         She seemed to find my blushing hot-mess-of-a-self amusing as a contagious giggle escaped her lips. Taking in the sight of me one last time, she smiled before heading to James' office. I felt the need to take a deep breath when I no longer felt her eyes on me.

         Lunch with Kara. No big deal. It's not like we hadn't done that before. Besides, I was going on a date with her tonight, so what's to worry about?

***

         STEP 8: look your best.

         I looked down at my outfit, feeling a sense of comfort as I was wearing my trusted joggers and a tee shirt. The guide said to wear clothes that I felt comfortable in and loved, to ensure that I would feel comfortable on the date. Kara had bought me a wardrobe of a variety of clothing when I moved in with her, and these were my favourite from them all.

         STEP 9: be on time.

         I checked the clock and noticed it was going on five now. Kara was yet to return from work, but I knew she was probably on her way. James had let me have a half day after supporting my idea of prepping a date, so I had managed to get everything I needed and set it all up in time for Kara's return. Being on time was no problem, so I could check that off.

         STEP 10: pay attention to your date.

         Well, that would definitely be easy. How could I not pay attention to Kara? It would be harder to not pay too much attention to her.

         "Y/N?"

         At the sound of Kara's voice, I smiled to myself before heading from her bathroom to the front door. There, I saw Kara setting her things on the kitchen counter with a confused expression.

         "Kara," I got her attention, only for her to look my way with a relieved expression. "Hey!"

         "Hey," she said, meeting me halfway and pulling me in for a hug. "James said you went home early. Is everything okay?"

         Once again, the butterflies in my stomach were filling me with a sense of elation I couldn't even begin to describe. All because she was hugging me. Crazy, right?

         "Yes, actually," I reassured with a smile as I pulled away. "In fact, I'm perfect! I just needed to have some time to buy some things for our date!"

         She chewed on her lower lip as she scratched the top of her head with confusion. "Our what-now?"

         I gave her a knowing look. "You know, our date! That thing that two people go on when wanting to–"

         "Yes, I know what a date is, Y/N," she interrupted with an amused smile. "I'm more curious as to when we said we'd go on one?" My face dropped as I realised something, and she quickly said, "Not that I mind! I mean, I'm honoured that you want to go on a date with me."

         I groaned and looked down awkwardly. "I– I think I forgot the part where I asked you if you wanted to go..." I admitted, racking my thoughts as I went through the steps in my head again. I had done everything, but I was so stupidly involved in the process that I forgot to ask her!

         "Oh, Y/N..." Kara rested a hand on my arm, and when I looked up, she was smiling sweetly at me.

         "I'm sorry," I apologised with a frown. "I didn't mean to force this– I only wanted– I thought we could, erm, I don't even know. Sorry, Kara." I pulled away and chewed the inside of my mouth as I paced up and down. "Sorry, sorry, sorry."

         I was too concerned with the possibility of me having ruined Kara and I's friendship, that I didn't notice her walking towards the couch, where a board game was waiting, and a stack of books was.

         "Was this for the date?" she asked, glancing up at me before picking the board game – Operation – up and studying the box.

         I sighed. "Yeah. You said you liked reading, watching TV, and eating Potstickers, so I ordered some food, the TV is here, and I bought some books. The woman at the store recommended the board game, and even though it's suitable for ages four and up, I figured it would be okay... but I'm guessing I figured wrong judging by your reaction..."

          She was laughing as she held the small boxed game, but it wasn't teasing nor malicious, it was... plain amusement.

         "You literally planned everything I enjoy for our date, didn't you?" she asked, looking up to me and setting the box down.

         I smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yeah. That's what WikiHow said to do..."

         She had to cover her mouth to contain her laughter at this point. "What– WikiHow? As in the guide on the internet?"

         I thought to myself for a moment, before nodding my head proudly. "That's the one! Which reminds me... you look very lovely tonight! Not that you don't any other night, but particularly tonight!" I paused and chewed on my lower lip as I thought to myself. "Do you feel I'm listening to you? Am I paying you enough attention?" I gasped for a second, before adding, "Or am I paying you too much attention?!"

         I ran my hands through my hair as I felt my nerves creeping back up on me. This wouldn't be the perfect date if I wasn't following the instructions! I had already forgotten to ask her for permission, so who knows what else I had done?

         "Y/N, calm down," Kara's voice sounded, though it felt much closer. Only when her hand crept into mine did I look up and notice she was standing before me, a loving smile on her lips. "You're doing fine. This date? It's–" she paused, and glanced around at everything, before locking our gaze again, "–it's amazing. But, I do think that we should discuss some things first."

         I pulled a face. "You don't want to go on a date with me... do you?"

         I expected her to lose her perfect smile and straight up admit that she only wanted to be friends. So, you can imagine my surprise when her smile widened and she wrapped her arms around my neck loosely.

         "I would love to go on a date with you," she responded in a light, raspy tone, it sending shivers down my spine.

         I raised my eyebrows with surprise. "You– you do?"

         Happiness got the best of her as a small chuckle dribbled from her lips. "Yes. However, I do feel the need to inform you that next time you plan a date, there's honestly no need to google how to make it perfect. Try asking some friends or something next time."

         I digested her words and nodded in acknowledgement, before glancing at the board game behind her. "Four and up wasn't the right age, was it?"

         A melodious laugh filled the apartment, automatically making me smile, and I felt my heart beat race when she pulled me in for a hug, pressing her body against mine. I couldn't contain my happiness at the thought of her wanting to give me a chance, but before I could say anything, she tensed up in my arms and pulled away, her eyes glued to something behind me, and a giant grin on her lips.

         "Ooh, Potstickers!"

[lemonjoonah]

Grim Love: Loss

Masterlist  | NEXT Grim Love: Memory >

Title: Grim Love: Loss Word Count: 3K+ Rating: M Genre: Reaper AU, Drama Warnings: Suicide, Character Death Pairings: Reaper!Namjoon x Reader x Yoongi Inspirations: Spring Day, Guardian: The Lonely and Great God (AKA Goblin), Norwegian Wood

Summary - Two weeks by your side... Two weeks to save you from yourself... His mission and goal conflict when it comes to your fate.

The Grim Love series is a Reaper AU, featuring each of the members as Grim Reapers. Loss is Namjoon’s story... 

AO3 Link - Here

A/N - Please pay attention to the warnings. This story took a lot out of me to write, if you are easily triggered do not read it! This is the first instalment in the series. It will probably be a couple months between each update as Under Fire is my top priority.  I hope you enjoy this sad little story of mine, and if you really want to destroy your soul might I suggest listening to Can You Hold Me (feat. Britt Nicole) by NF as you read...

POV Namjoon

You’re too young... That’s all I can think when I see you after receiving my assignment. I want nothing more than to go back to my elders and have them rewrite fate, but I already know their answer. They would simply reiterate their last words to me.

“This is our kindness, sending you.”

They had the decency to give you company for your last journey. I’ll be the only form of goodwill you will receive in the end.

In my few years I had never been assigned to someone younger than 30. You will be my first. Despite your given time frame you seem so full of life. You sit in the booth of a coffee shop, your foot shaking anxiously as you watch the door. One of the wait staff approaches you.

“He’s really late today isn’t he?” She asks taking your empty cup.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind waiting.”

I sit down across from you on the bench. You can’t see me, but I don’t like the thought of you sitting alone.

When we are given a new soul to guide, we are told nothing other than a name before appearing in front of the ill fated. I have no notion as to what your cause of death might be. You could pass on at any point during these two weeks, preventing me from straying far from your side.

I watch your eyes light up as you look to the door. I remove myself from the seat, to make room for your friend, placing myself behind you in your shadow.

“Yoongi!” You call out waving to the boy in the doorway. His slumped appearance straightens as you call his name. His lips curving into a small smile.   

“Sorry to make you wait. Can I get you a coffee?”

“I’m fine, I just finished my cup.”

He glances at his watch, falling into the seat I had just vacated. “I’m later than I thought. I’m so sorry I got side tracked at the studio.”

“Really it’s okay. Are you working on something new?”

The boy named Yoongi mumbles nervously. “I’m finally piecing the album together. It’s been tough, but I know it’s what he would have wanted.”

“I’m sure he would have loved it. When do I get to listen to it?”

“When it’s perfect, you deserve no less.” His voice is quiet,  but I can tell he truly means it. He likes you, that is beyond doubt. It will be a bitter task to tear the two of you apart.

“How have you been?” He asks tentatively.

“Good.” Your answer is short and forced. Your mouth painted with a fake smile.

“Come on don’t give me that. I know what day it is. It’s been two years, I know it still hurts.”

Your expression falls. “I’ve been getting by... I’ve been writing again. I find that helps.”

The boy reaches across to hold your hand. “I’m only a phone call away, don’t forget that okay?”

You nod with a sad smile.

Yoongi switches the conversation to lighter topics. I observe you relax back in your seat as you laugh at his stories.

An hour later, as you are putting your jacket on, you ask if he would like to join you for dinner.

“Sorry, I have plans.”

“No problem maybe another night.”

“That’s something I wanted to talk to you about actually. My plans tonight are with Seoyun.” The boy’s nervousness has returned. “We’re back together.”

I notice your eyes flash with a sadness, before recovering with a smile and a happy sentiment. “That’s great, you guys always made such a cute couple.”

This makes no sense to me. I can’t remember my own experience with love, but it’s clear that this boy cares deeply for you. Why would he date another?

...

The second you step into your apartment you make your way to a cabinet pulling out a bottle of spirits... an hour later pulling out another. The more you drink the more you weep.

You scribble today’s date off your calendar, and pull the page from your agenda. I watch as you beg for this day to be erased from history.

I wonder if my first night at your side might be your last. I can only remember flashes of my own death. Surrounded by water and struggling to breath. Watching you pass out reminds me of those scenes, only you’re drowning in your own pain.

“He’s not worth it.” The words fall from my mouth. I know you can’t hear me, but it needs to be said.

...

You spend the next several days in a haze barely interacting with the world around you. The more you fade from this life the more tangible I become. A few select objects start to react to my touch, when before my hand would pass right through them. I know this feeling well, your time is drawing closer, the bond between us growing stronger. The bond that would allow me to ferry you across the void.

You sit in bed crying clutching a well loved orange bear. Your eyes every now and then glancing to the pill bottle beside your bed. You reach out to your phone instead, calling the boy named Yoongi.

The ringing is cut short by his voicemail. Did he really just decline your call? Your shaky hand places the phone down in front of you. I know where you’re going to reach next. In a moment of panic I manage to knock the bottle away from you, spilling the pills to the the floor.

Your hand retreats, a mixture of fear and shock written on your face. I seemed to have snapped you out of your dangerous thoughts. Your tears flow again, probably in realization of what you had almost done. I sit beside you. Wanting more than anything to reach out and touch you, to have you hear my words. “It’s not your fault, this pain is not your fault.”

“It wasn’t my fault... please tell me it wasn’t my fault...” You mutter to yourself.

I tilt my head in confusion as I look at you. There was no way you could have heard me.

You pick the pills off the floor, getting on your hands and knees you lift the bed skirt. I can only assume to make sure you had collected them all. But instead finding more pills your hands pull out a journal.

Grabbing a pencil you start to write. I read over your shoulder as you spin the tale of a Prince who wears a mask of perfection. A mask that becomes more and more burdensome each day. A love interest appears by page five, a women who sees his suffering and watches as he escapes the castle. Each day he hides himself beneath a bridge to take his mask off for a few moments. One day she approaches him in his vulnerable state, begging him not to put it back on.

Your body visibly calms after you finish the passage between the two.

You run your hand down the written words as if wishing you could join the characters among the pages. You whisper to yourself again. “I miss you.”

“He’s not worth it.” I answer back.

...

Your writing continues every day although you haven’t gone back and finished the story of the Prince yet.

With each new story I watch your health improve. It gives me hope, but the bond continues to strengthen.

We reach the last night of my two week assignment. In the past there have been people who have had their fates changed. It was a rare occurrence but it happened.

If that’s the case I will be summoned back tomorrow. The thought of not seeing you again causes me pain, I have grown attached to you and your tales.

Your story tonight does nothing to ease that pain of loss.

This story centres around you and an invisible friend. The friend would come out when you were crying or sad. He would try to make you laugh with his lack of coordination, knocking over pill bottles, and wine glasses.

I think about the wine glass I broke yesterday as you continue to write.

Many people would be scared of an invisible friend who causes such mischief, but he makes you feel less alone. Why should you be afraid of him if he isn’t afraid of being around your despair. Your friend that saves you from your poor choices, holding you close and whispering in your ear when you need it most.

The irony doesn’t escape me. What would you think of your invisible friend knew the truth? Here I am the personification of death, giving you comfort. The reaper looming in your shadow, keeping you alive. But if I leave you tomorrow, will I have to return before long?

...

Tomorrow comes and goes but I stay. Another week but still no summons to go back.

One night while you are asleep I return to my elders curious of your situation.

“Her clock has been resting, but each time she is still no more than two weeks from death.”

A feeling of hope enters me. “If it can be reset there must be a way to add more time? She doesn’t need to die so soon, there is no reason for it. Please have mercy on her.”

“This is our mercy. This is our kindness, sending you.”

You need time to heal. It’s clear that my interference is resetting that timer. I will reset it as many times as I need to before this cycle stops.

...

A week later you are walking through the city when you spot a poster for a concert. Your face lights up with a smile that I haven’t seen since the day I met you. The day that you last saw Yoongi.

You take a picture of the banner and text him the photo along with the message:

...We should go! I’ll get the tickets, consider it an early birthday gift...

You wait for his reply but an hour later there’s still nothing. You buy the tickets anyway before heading home.

Two days before the concert and he has still not sent word. You text him again. He answers back quickly this time.

...I can’t make it...

I thought that his words would send you into another spiral, but instead you reach out for your journal. Continuing to write my favourite story of the Prince.

Even with her pleas he continues to wear his mask. It continues to grow heavier, to the point where the strap holding it breaks. He tries to fix it but to no avail, there’s no material strong enough to keep it in place. He hides away in his room pulling away from everyone around him, including the girl. She still goes to the bridge everyday with the hopes of seeing him, but he never appears.

Our bond has grown stronger than any other than I have had before. I sit behind you as you write my chest against your back, I can actually feel the warmth of your skin.

Despite your strength I am still not called back, my task nor my goal complete.

...

To my surprise you go to the concert. Others might think you’re alone, but I still follow in the shadows. The venue is small, allowing me to spot a familiar boy a couple rows over. His arm around another girl. I step directly in the path between you and him, wishing, hoping that I could shield you from the sight. But you see right through me, you watch him smile at her, you watch him embrace her.

You flee the concert before the second song. Your tears not even having the decency to wait until you reached your apartment.

“He’s not worth it.” I repeat over and over.

You fall into your own whispers again holing yourself as you fight back the sobs. “I miss you... Why did you leave... I’ve felt so alone the past two years... seeing that makes me miss you so much more.”

You open your journal finally finishing the story.

The Prince leaves his room in the shadows, telling no one, greeting no one. He makes his way to the bridge, but instead of hiding at the bottom he climbs to the top. Looking to the water beneath him with longing. He doesn’t see her as she waits in their usual spot. She doesn’t get the chance to call out to him before he takes his leap.

This time the story brings you no comfort, you are more distraught than ever. You pull on your coat once again heading to the door. I try to reach out for your hand feeling only the warmth as my fingers passed through yours.

You leave not even bothering to lock the door behind you.

You walk the dark streets with determination. It’s now one in the morning and I can’t think of any good reason you should be out here at this time. A bridge appears in our sights. You keep walking towards it, stopping halfway across to look over the railing.

Something about this place seems so familiar. I mimic you looking down to the rushing water. I’ve been here before. Surrounded by water, struggling to breath.

You take a step up onto the railing.

I had taken the same step on the this very railing. I remember... I remember you ... You were running... calling out my name as I fell. I’m the Prince of the story, this was where I took my leap. It was never about Yoongi. I’m the one who left you. I’m the one causing you pain.

Your other foot steps onto the railing.

“No please!” I shout out pleading with you, hoping you can hear my cry. I reach out expecting to grab only air, but my fingers firmly grasp your arm. I pull back with such force that you fall backwards. As I move in an to catch you, your head hits the opposite railing, pulling your conscious self under.

“I’m not worth it, I’m not worth your pain,” I sob while clutching you. Finally able to hold you properly for the first time in years. “I’m sorry I left you. I promise you, it wasn’t your fault.”

You must have crossed far enough into the void enough for me to push you back, but in doing so you had pulled me fully into this world. I knew it wouldn’t last long, I didn’t belong here. With my limited time I pick you up and carry you home.

POV Yoongi

My phone blares out waking me. I look to the screen hoping to see your name, but this number isn’t listed under my contacts. Who the hell calls at two in the morning? I answer ready to give them a piece of my mind.

“Get over here you idiot. She needs you.”

“Who the hell is this? What are you talking about?”

“(Y/N), she needs you. Stop ignoring her and get your ass over here.”       

“(Y/N)...” I whisper, but she had been the one ignoring me... “Is she okay?”

“You made me a promise that you would look after her. You almost lost her tonight.”

My heart stops. I remember making that promise. I remember him awkwardly asking should anything happen to him that I would look after you. I had scoffed at the idea knowing that no one could be more perfect for you than he is...was. I had never told anyone about that agreement.

“Namjoon?”

“I can’t be there for her anymore. This is my kindness, sending you.”

He hangs up the phone.

I look for her contact and hit dial, finding it odd that the phone next to the sleeping Seoyun starts vibrating at the same time. As I end the call and her phone stops as well.

I reach out and grab it, sending a text from my my own phone.

...(Y/N)...

Seoyun’s phone displays the text a second later.

“Yoongi, why are you wake?”

“Unlock this fucking phone right now.” I seethe throwing her phone back at her.

She hesitates before inputting her password. All of the messages I had sent you in the past month had gone to her. All of the messages I had received back telling me to go away, to stop texting had been from her. She had changed your contact info in my phone, The number that had called just now, the number I had ignored in the past because I didn’t recognize it... that must have been you.

“When I would leave my phone here...when I would head to the studio... did she send me anything. Did you delete any texts from her?” My voice is toeing the line of rage.

Seoyun doesn’t bother to deny it, knowing that I have caught her red handed. She nods, “But I did it for us! You were always texting her and calling her. You care about her more than me.”

“And I always will,” I growl back. “Get the fuck out, take your stuff and go back to the hell you crawled out of.”

POV Namjoon

I have receded back to the void. After taking you home my grasp on you only lasted long enough to lay you down on your bed.

Yoongi barges through the unlocked door only a few minutes later, not even bothering to knock. I watch from the shadows as he goes to you. You wake to the sound of his apologies. Comforting him as he breaks down during his confession.  

It’s at that moment that I feel the tug back to my world, my summons back. As much as I want to, I know I can’t stay, but this time I am parting with you for the right reasons.

This is my kindness, leaving you.

[warriorsrewrite]

Enter the Wild Chapter 12

( you can either read it under the cut, or here on ao3. it’d be very much appreciated if you interacted with both ! )

Firepaw was the first to wake again the next day, mostly because the intense humidity was enough to made him feel like he was drowning by simply laying in his nest. As he stretched away the night’s stiffness, he noticed that a light drizzle was coming down outside, and he sighed.

Not good weather for hunting.

It was mostly out of habit that he exited the den and padded straight to where Yellow slept. It was Redtail who had been her night guard, and he smiled kindly at Firepaw as he approached, letting him pass without much fuss. Firepaw had grown to like Redtail very much, as he was a calm and sensible cat you could find yourself talking to without meaning to. That was why, as he passed Redtail, Firepaw murmured his explanation for visiting, “I just wanted to check her moss. Don’t want her complaining too much to Graypaw later because her joints are acting up again.”

Redtail purred out a chuckle, one very similar to Spottedleaf’s, nodding as he shifted back into his guard position. Firepaw figured he was eagerly waiting for the next day’s guard to switch with him; a night spent in the light rain was not a happy night to anyone.

Firepaw made heavy pawsteps to make sure Yellow knew he was coming. Sure enough, she lifted her head to glare at him from her makeshift nest. “What are you doing here?”

“Your nest’s wet, isn’t it?” he asked, nudging the side of it with his paw. As he expected, it came back damp. “I’ll change it out for you.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be back to training?” she grumbled, but lifted herself out anyway so he could roll the wet moss away. “You’re free from having to take care of me anymore.”

“Yeah, well, if someone doesn't change your nest soon, the whole camp with hear about it. Then the elders will complain about their rest being disturbed and… You get the point.” He stood and nodded towards the fallen tree. “I’ll be back soon.” He was already walking away when he heard the beginnings of Yellow’s protests, but he ignored it as usual.

As he sniffed around the tree to find some moss that managed to stay dry under the large trunk, he heard from behind him someone exit the elder’s den. Sitting back up and turning towards the elder, he spotted White-eye coming to sit next to him with a friendly smile. “Good morning, Firepaw,” she purred rustily.

He dipped his head. “Good morning, White-eye.”

She gazed at him, then at the tree trunk, and then over her shoulder at a barely visible grumpy Yellow. “Fetching moss for Yellow? I thought you didn’t have to take care of her anymore.”

“Yeah, well… Everyone’s seen how she can get when something isn’t quite right, and I was up, so I decided to do it myself. Save everyone the displeasure of waking up to her angry yowls.” Deciding she wouldn’t mind if he continued his task, he went back to poking at the visible moss.

White-eye hummed, but didn’t say anything to that. They were both quiet for a while until she sighed faintly. “You know, I remember when Yellow first became a healer apprentice.”

This caught Firepaw’s attention. “Oh?”

“Yes, it was my first Gathering as a warrior when ShadowClan announced her. She seemed grumpy then, and she seemed grumpy every other time I saw her. I don’t think there was one instance where I saw her smile.” She chuckled softly. “But… out of all the times I saw her sitting with the other healers, I never got the feeling that there was any kind of malice in her.” She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. “I also remember seeing Brokentail at a few Gatherings before I retired. He never stopped politely smiling when someone older than him was speaking.” She shook her head. “I always avoided him and his group. It’s good to know my gut feeling was right.”

Firepaw was unsure of what to say, so he didn’t try to say anything. He just nodded mutely and went back to work.

It wasn’t long before he found a large enough piece that - while not completely dry - wasn’t nearly as damp as what Yellow previously had. Gathering it all up in a ball, he picked it up with his mouth and dipped his head low in White-eye’s direction before trotting back across the clearing. He felt White-eye’s gaze on his back as he left.

Yellow was grumpier than ever when he returned, but didn’t complain when he set the fresh batch of moss down in front of her, which he took as a thank you. “Well, now that you’ve done that,” she grumbled, shifting to get more comfortable in her new nest, “you should get going. You’ve got a hunting assessment today, right?”

“Yeah,” he said, though in all honesty he was trying not to think about it too hard in case he started to get too nervous for it.

“If you catch half as many prey as you did yesterday, you’ll pass.” She lifted a paw to lick at, but paused to stare at him. “What are you waiting for then? Go ace it, kit.” She shooed him with her paw before using it to help groom behind her ears.

A warm feeling spread from his chest as he nodded and turned away, smile semi hidden as he looked to the ground. As he passed Redtail on his way to the gorse tunnel, he heard him whisper, “good luck. You’ll do great.”

This time, he didn’t even try to hide his smile. Lifting his head high, he padded through the middle of the clearing over to where he saw Ravenpaw nervously waiting by the freshkill pile. “Ready?” he asked once he approached. “As I’ll ever be,” Ravenpaw answered in a mutter, leading the way out and into the forest.

The night camp guards - Whitestorm and Willowpelt - nodded at them as they went, small smiles of encouragement on both their faces. Firepaw nodded back to them, his paws tingling as his sides squeezed through the tight tunnel.

Their short journey to the Sandy Hollow was silent as they both thought over what was going to happen. This is it, Firepaw thought, swallowing thickly. My first test as a Clan cat to prove that I really do belong here. I may not be close to becoming a warrior yet, but if I don’t pass it, then it’ll take far longer for me to get there. So, I have to do my best!

The two of them paused briefly when they came upon the bushes that marked the outer rim of the sandy clearing to glance at each other. They each took a collective breath, and pushed past the leaves and branches to enter the hollow.

“Ravenpaw,” Tigerclaw immediately announced as soon as they became visible. He sat tall and expressionless in the middle of the clearing, which Firepaw thought to be strange, considering this could be his apprentice’s final test for hunting.

The small black apprentice flinched as his name was called, gave Firepaw one last look, then darted over to Tigerclaw’s side. Firepaw watched him go with mild worry, but he knew he couldn’t think too much of his friend at the moment as his gaze slid over to Brindleface waiting a few fox-lengths away from Tigerclaw.

Brindleface looked far more tired than he had ever seen her. It was obvious her pelt had only just been given a quick groom with all the parts of it that still stuck straight up from sleeping. Her eyes had a strained look to them like she hadn’t had a good night's rest in a while. Her belly was as round as ever, perhaps even bigger, with the growing kits inside. Her smile when their eyes met was small, but genuine.

Firepaw swallowed thickly as he padded over to her, his ears threatening to pin to the back of his head as he thought of all the ways she could chew him out for breaking the warrior code. But when he sat in front of her, all she said was, “I’m glad you’re punishment is over and we can finally get back to training.”

Blinking in surprise, he lifted his head higher in confusion. “Yeah… I’m glad, too,” he murmured, unsure where she was heading but also meaning what he was saying.

She nodded. “We’ll have to see what a couple days of not training have done with this assessment, but I’m not worried about you being set that far behind.” Her smile grew as she continued, “I, after all, heard about all the prey you and Ravenpaw caught yesterday.”

“Yeah…” he trailed off.

Brindleface frowned. “What is it? Are… you actually not happy to continue training?”

“No, no!” he was quick to reassure. “I just…” His head lowered and his ear twitched. “Ah… I just was expecting you to give me a lecture on why eating before the Clan was bad to make sure I didn’t do it again…”

She blinked at him, then blinked again. Finally, the quietness around them broke with her soft chuckle. “Ah, so that’s it, huh? Well, rest assured, I’m not going to be chewing your ears out about it. I figured being around Yellow and confined to camp for three whole days was enough of a punishment. You’ve learned your lesson.”

Slowly, Firepaw sat back up. “Really?”

“Really. You may have made the mistake of breaking the code, but as I have always believed, to make a mistake is to learn, and to learn is to become better. Now that you’ve learned through your mistake, you’ll be able to become a better warrior. Of that, I am certain.” She leaned down to gently touch his forehead with her nose, affection in her gaze.

Firepaw didn’t quite know what to say to that, so all he did was nod solemnly, eyes sparkling. It was once the moment passed that he eventually asked her quietly, “are… are you all right? I know your mate was - is - ”

Before he could continue, Brindleface shook her head to quiet him. “I’m all right now, Firepaw. It was… rough, to say the least, when I learned what had happened to WindClan. I’ll admit to shutting myself away for most of the time you were acting out your punishment, and I’m sorry for not having that talk about mistakes earlier with you.” With a small grunt, she lifted herself to stand in front of him. “But I’m far better now, and the one thing I can think of that would make me feel better is if we started your assessment, yes?”

Firepaw stood with her at attention, nodding seriously.

“All right, then. Allow me to explain how this works.” She cleared her throat. “This will be a test to determine where you stand in your training for hunting and catching prey. It is a solo assessment, so if you see Ravenpaw, or Tigerclaw, or anyone else on patrol, you must leave them be and go a different way. I will be shadowing you from behind and observing how you go about doing things. You’re to catch as much prey as you can before sunset. Once you’re done, collect all your prey and head back to the Sandy Hollow. Is that understood?”

“Yes!” he said quickly and firmly.

“Good.” Brindleface glanced over to Tigerclaw and Ravenpaw. It seemed that the two had just gotten done with the explanation, Ravenpaw already dashing away and into the brush. “Tigerclaw and I agreed on the area of territory you two would hunt on. Ravenpaw will take the woods surrounding the Great Sycamore and Snakerocks, while you took the area around Tallpines.” She narrowed her eyes slightly at Tigerclaw as he slowly followed his apprentice. “I thought we should be more far apart to avoid accidentally running into each other, but he insisted that we all stay near this side of the our territory.” With a quick sigh, she shrugged and looked back to Firepaw. “But that’s basically it. Do you have any questions before we begin?”

Firepaw thought through the route he would take to ensure that he would get the most prey and nodded.

“All right. Then you may start when you’re ready.”

As soon as the word ‘start’ escaped her lips, he was already bounding towards Tallpines. The last thing he heard from her before he slipped out into the woods was her soft, quiet chuckle.

*

It was nearing time for Firepaw to call it quits. The sun was getting low in the sky, and his legs ached from so much walking and crouching. He had caught what he thought was an adequate amount of prey for being by himself. The stash he had buried in a small clearing contained several mice, shrews, and one chaffinch. They were small, but plump things, and he knew that whatever Brindleface thought of his hunting, he had done his best.

But, before he went back and collected his prey to bring back to the Sandy Hollow, he wanted to catch at least two bigger critters than a mouse or shrew. So, he decided to go out from his main zone of hunting and closer to his old house in hopes of finding a squirrel or larger bird to add to his pile.

It seemed that his decision was a correct one when the scent of squirrel entered his nostrils and made his ears perk. He was quick to locate the furry thing, scurrying around in a small patch of moss and twigs.

The way he crouched, keeping his paws light and posture balanced, was almost instinctual at this point. Making sure he was downwind, he zoned in on only the squirrel, and began to make his way towards it. He was almost in pouncing distance when another scent caught his nose that made him pause.

What’s that? he thought with a small frown. Careful not to lift his head and bring too much attention to him, he sniffed the air again, recognition hitting him with alarm.

It’s a cat! And certainly not from ThunderClan.

Before he could even begin to think about whether or not to continue to stalk the squirrel or go investigate the scent further, the choice was made for him as sudden noises that sounded like the beginnings of a tussle from beyond the bushes startled the squirrel into darting into the safety of a nearby tree. Silently cursing his luck, he knew he could do nothing but head towards whatever was happening.

What he saw when he broke through the bushes stopped him cold in his tracks.

“... Smudge?"

It was indeed the plump cat, being pinned down on his back by none other than…

“Ravenpaw?”

The black tom was on top of Smudge, holding the kittypet down with his front paws on his shoulders. But it didn’t seem like either of them were making a move, either to get free or tell the other to get lost. Instead, both toms seemed to be staring at the other in quiet surprise, frozen in their respective spots.

Firepaw frowned and quickly hurried over. “Ravenpaw, hey! It’s fine, you can get off. I know this cat.”

It seemed that being closer while speaking was the trick to get them both to snap out of whatever spell they were under. Ravenpaw physically flinched and was quick to scramble off of Smudge like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have. Smudge was blinking away whatever emotion was on his face, but made no move to get up from the ground.

“Hey, Smudge,” Firepaw murmured, nudging the black and white tom’s side. “Are you all right?”

“You… know this kittypet?” Ravenpaw finally spoke, voice quiet. His gaze never once left Smudge.

“Yeah, he lived next door to me and my sister,” he answered before nudging Smudge again. “Come on, Smudge. I know you can get up.”

“Rust - … no, Firepaw?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he huffed, hiding his pleasure at Smudge instinctively calling him ‘Rusty’. “What are you doing out here?”

Smudge glanced at Ravenpaw, swallowed, then whispered to Firepaw, “it’s been more than a moon and Princess is beginning to worry. And by ‘beginning to worry’, I mean she’s pacing her yard almost all day and night. I have to practically force her to go inside and sleep a little bit by promising her I’d watch out for you if you come. And today she said she couldn’t handle waiting anymore, so she sent me into to find someone to ask about you.”

Firepaw groaned. “That’s a horrible plan…”

“Exactly what I told her! But she’s beyond reason at this point.”

“And what horrible timing…” he muttered, glancing back at Ravenpaw to see him frozen again, green eyes wide. He internally cursed when he realized that Ravenpaw probably heard everything. I’m really going to hear it when we get back to camp… “Listen, Smudge, tell Princess that I’m fine, I’ve just been very busy. I still may not be able to visit anytime soon, especially with you being here. I mean, both of our mentors are supposed to be watching us right now and they could see you at any - ”

“Well, what do we have here…” the cold drawl of Tigerclaw sounded from behind him and Ravenpaw. All three stiffened as they turned to see the large warrior’s shape emerged from the shadows. “A kittypet on our territory, and two apprentices not yet chasing him off?” He clicked his tongue as he focused his intense glare straight on Smudge. “Seems I’ll have to do it myself.”

“Calm yourself, Tigerclaw,” Brindleface said as she came from the opposite side of his entrance. “He’s a young kittypet. This is probably his first time out in the woods, right?”

Smudge vigorously nodded, every last strand of fur standing on end as his eyes darted from warrior to warrior.

“Right. So, we should only send him off with a warning. He didn’t know any better, after all.”

“But these two should,” Tigerclaw growled, eyeing Ravenpaw and Firepaw like he could burn through their pelts.

“And I’m sure they have a perfectly good reason as to why they’re simply chatting with this kittypet.” Brindleface leveled a firm glance at Firepaw, who bent his head in shame. Right after we talked about my mistake of breaking the code would make me a better warrior…

“I…” Firepaw started, swallowed, and started again, “I was explaining to him why he can’t be here. He… he came because we used to know each other, and he wanted to check in on me, but I was telling him why we… why we can’t be friends anymore.” Avoiding looking at Smudge, he continued, “because I’m a Clan cat now, and he’s a kittypet.”

There was a moment of quiet where Firepaw risked a glance at his old friend. Smudge was looking right at him, amber eyes questioning. He wished there was a way to tell him that he was only saying these things so neither of them would get in too much trouble, but he knew there wasn’t without also tipping off the others.

Brindleface hummed. “That sounds reasonable enough,” she eventually said. “Now, young kittypet, you best move along back to your Twoleg den, and be sure not to come back into the forest. You may not encounter such friendly cats again.”

Smudge squinted in confusion at the words ‘Twoleg den’, but Firepaw explained to him in a whisper, “go back to your house.” Upon knowing exactly what he was being asked, he nodded frantically and darted away. But just before he disappeared through the brush, he glanced back, not to connect gazes with Firepaw one last time, but with Ravenpaw.

Frowning, Firepaw looked to Ravenpaw to see the other apprentice still frozen, his tail sticking out and fluffed up more than its ever been, a strange emotion Firepaw couldn’t figure out spread across his face.

Before he could ask what that was about, Tigerclaw grunted, “the assessment is over. Go grab all of your prey and we’ll head back to camp. Oh, and Ravenpaw.” He turned around, bent down to grab something off the ground, and tossed it over to where Ravenpaw stood. It was long, scaly, and dead. “You dropped the adder you caught in the bushes over here. If you want to keep that for bragging rights, you have to make sure you actually keep it.”

Firepaw’s eyes widened as far as they’ve ever gone. “You caught a what?!”

Ravenpaw made a strangled, embarrassed noise, picking the snake up and practically running away without saying a word.

Firepaw would say he was surprised, but in all honestly, Ravenpaw reacted how he expected when faced with such awe.

He still vowed to pester him over all the details when they got back to camp.

*

The attention they got back at camp was equally as great, if not greater than the attention they got the day before because of the long, dead adder hanging from Ravenpaw’s mouth. As soon as they entered the clearing, four kits who had been playing over by the nursery came rushing over with eyes as wide as the moon.

“Woah!” Thornkit, the small tabby that Yellow had snapped at the other day, said in awe, “is that an adder?”

“Did you catch that?” asked a tiny dark gray kit named Cinderkit.

“Did it bite you?” Swiftkit asked with horror.

“Can you even eat an adder?” a black and ginger kit named Brightkit asked before taking a cautious sniff of it. She immediately jumped back in disgust, shaking her head and gagging to get rid of the stench.

“You can’t eat an adder, but you can use it to scare the fur right off someone!” Graypaw announced as he approached them, grin splitting his muzzle. “Wow, Ravenpaw! I knew you were a great hunter, but I didn’t know you were this good! There’s no doubt you passed your assessment with a catch like this.”

Ravenpaw took a few tiny steps back from everyone, tail twitching nervously. Firepaw, sensing that he wanted to bolt, tried to step forward and assure him, but he was too late. The black apprentice dashed around the small group and heading straight towards the apprentice’s den, adder still clamped firmly in his mouth.

Graypaw frowned as he watched him go, ignoring the disappointed groans from the kits about not being able to play with the adder. “He’s more on edge than usual…” he observed, looking back to Firepaw. “Did something happen during his assessment?”

Firepaw’s ear twitched as he remembered exactly what happened. “Yeah…” he sighed, edging closer to him so the kits wouldn’t overhear. “A certain black and white pet came into the woods looking for me and found Ravenpaw instead. When I stumbled across them, Ravenpaw had him pinned to the ground. I don’t know what was said between the two, but they both seemed shaken. And, of course, it being an assessment, Tigerclaw and Brindleface showed up as I was talking him back to his house.”

“Ah…” Graypaw hissed softly. “I see… So, I’m guessing a trip to your old stomping grounds is way overdue?”

“Yeah, but now that Tigerclaw’s seen me talking to a pet, he’ll be extra suspicious. I think I talked my way out of any punishment, but for now we can’t - ”

“Firepaw.”

Both apprentices flinched as they turned around to see Tigerclaw looming over them both, eyes in slits.

“Bluestar wishes to see you. She’s in her den.” Not waiting to hear a response, the large warrior turned around and stalked over to the warrior’s den, disappearing under the thick bush.

Firepaw shared a panicked look with Graypaw, but could do nothing but obey the summons. Taking a deep breath, he slowed padded over to the Highrock where Bluestar’s cave sat. He almost took a step into the darkness when he remembered that no one besides the leader and deputy could enter the leader’s den. Shaking his head, he took his paw back and set it on the ground before straining his neck to call out, “... Bluestar?”

The lichens covering the entrance shifted immediately, and the tall, lithe frame of Bluestar appeared from them. Firepaw instantly had his head bowed, almost to the ground. He heard her huff a small laugh as she spoke, “you may lift your gaze.”

Hesitating only for a heartbeat, he relented and rose his head, though he still kept it at a small angle.

“I’ve been informed that during your hunting assessment, you ran into an old kittypet friend of yours.” Bluestar raised a brow as he flinched under her gaze. “He claimed you were talking to him as if he was still your friend. Is this true?”

Briefly, he considered using the same lie he told Tigerclaw, but knew as soon as the thought crossed his mind that it was a bad idea. So, after swallowing thickly, he opened his mouth to tell the truth, “yes, Bluestar, that’s true.”

Her other brow went to join the first. “Oh? Then should I be worried that you’re thinking of rejoining your kittypet friend back in the Twolegplace?”

“No!” he cried, regretting how loud the response was instantly. “No…” he said, quieter this time. “Bluestar, I may still be friends with Smudge, but I know that ThunderClan life is the life for me. As a kittypet, I was constantly restless. The best time of my day was when I went outside and into the forest to explore. Since coming here, I’ve realized that I’ve finally gotten to a point where I’m content with how I spend my days. No longer am I restless. So, please, don’t think that I would turn back to my old life if given the chance, because that would never happen.”

A blanket of silence settled over them as he waited for her response to that. It stretched for so long that he began to shuffle nervously in his spot, nerves practically on fire. Finally, she broke the quiet with a few simple words, “I believe you.”

Instant relief flooded his veins, audibly sighing despite knowing it was probably rude. “Thank you, Bluestar,” he murmured.

She nodded at him. “I may not have believed you, but I talked with Yellow while you were out, and she mentioned how dutiful you were, despite showing the obvious want to get back out and train. When I asked her what she thought about you talking with that kittypet, she told me not to worry, because you were seemed the most loyal out of anyone in ThunderClan that she could see.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, disbelief surely showing on his face as Bluestar smiled down at him. Yellow… saying that about me? he thought. It must have been raining squirrels for something like that to happen.

“Now,” Bluestar continued, snapping him out of his small daze, “as for whether or not you passed your assessment…” she trailed off, glancing about the clearing until she spotted who she wanted to see. “Brindleface,” she called out, gesturing with her tail to have her approach.

Firepaw forced himself to stay still and silent as his mentor came to sit next to him. “You summoned me, Bluestar?”

“Yes, I wished to know what you thought of Firepaw’s performance today.”

There was a brief moment where he thought that Brindleface was going to say that he failed solely because of his encounter with Smudge, but the fear dissipated as she said, “I believe Firepaw met all expectations during his assessment today. Despite not training for the past few days, he displayed the skills one would expect for an apprentice who has been training for three moons now.”

“So, you believed he passed?” Bluestar asked.

“Yes, I do believe he did.”

“Then it’s settled,” she announced, standing to stretch her back limbs. “Firepaw, you and Graypaw will be allowed to go to the Gathering tomorrow.”

Firepaw’s head lifted all the way as he was overcome with shock. “Really?” he asked, breaking out into a huge smile as Bluestar nodded. “Wait, what about Ravenpaw? And Sandpaw?”

“Being so close to her final assessments, Sandpaw will stay behind and help guard camp. As for Ravenpaw, though he did pass his hunting assessment with flying colors, I was informed by Tigerclaw that in regards to battle training, he is behind. In order to catch him up, he will need to train harder, so he will need his rest tomorrow night.”

Although he felt a hint of sadness that Ravenpaw wouldn’t be joining them, elation at the fact it would be his first Gathering and smugness over Sandpaw not getting to go rose in him, and it was all he could do to bow his head and say a heartfelt, “thank you!”

Chuckling, her tail flicked as she told him, “and with that, you’re dismissed. Go on and get something to eat from the freshkill pile and rest. You’ve done well today.”

Not wasting another heartbeat, Firepaw stood, dipped his head in farewell to both Bluestar and Brindleface, then, in his excitement, dashed over to where he had placed all the prey he had caught to pick out the plumpest mouse he could find. As he grabbed his meal and headed over to the tree stump, all he could think about was how sweet of a feeling it would be to see Sandpaw’s face when he announced that he would be going to the Gathering instead of her.

[rqgnarok]

what remains; part ii - poe dameron

part i / part ii / part iii

character: poe dameron (star wars)

words: 1269

warning: angst. i know i promised a happy ending but this is kinda just a filler chapter so bear with me!

summary: the aftermath of what could’ve been.

author’s note below

The next few weeks are chaotic.

The whole base seems to fall out of rhythm after Poe and (Y/N)’s argument, and a dark atmosphere suddenly surrounds the members of the Resistance. Poe is still barely holding on while resting on the med bay, (Y/N) is refraining from visiting him at all, returning to her usual tasks and ignoring the worried glances sent her way that did not seem to cease.

Nobody dares to speak of it, but they all know the fall out had affected everyone on base, and things are close to completely falling apart. (Y/N) is succumbed into this self-centered routine in which she avoids everyone to stop them from trying to talk to her and have her burst into tears she has not yet shed. There is a breakdown due from her, but she refuses to cry for someone who doesn’t love her back, even if she still cares so much for him she might burst.

Meanwhile, Poe accepts visits from his friends, eats and drinks as recommended by the medical droid, but other than that, he is falling apart. He doesn’t dare to fall asleep, specially after the first night when nurses had to calm him down after waking up from a nightmare, screaming (Y/N)’s name like an unheard prayer. Every time he closes his eyes, Poe returns to the accident, and watches (Y/N) pass out helplessly under the weight of the X-Wing before falling into consciousness himself. The simple memory of it makes his fists clench and his heart race in the verge of a panic attack. He’s a mess, they both are.

Yet they refuse to even go near each other.

(Y/N) works, head down and earbuds at the maximum volume as she fixes a droid broken down on battle. She knows Finn has been carefully watching over her for at least an hour now, and the annoyance just becomes too great as she speaks out, not even looking up to acknowledge her friend. “Take a hologram, Finn, it’ll last longer.”

The heat rushes to the man’s face at being caught and lets out a weak stuttering ‘what’ in response. Bashful and somewhat defeated, he nears and sits on the table (Y/N) is working on, looking at her expectantly yet again and causing the woman to rip out one of her earbuds. Loud, angry music continues to blast from it. “What?”

“So,” his tone is light and slightly shaky, knowing that he’s either about to get the beating of his life or have her burst into tears. Finn fears both outcomes. “You know, he gets released from the medical bay today.”

“Okay,” she mumbles, trying to act indifferent but coming off more vulnerable that (Y/N) would’ve wanted. She shuffles in her seat and hopes for the conversation to be over, but Finn seems to have other plans.

“You gonna talk to him?” he bites his lip, expectant and eyeing his friend with a look (Y/N) wants to cower from, just like she’s escaped any kind of social interaction since Poe broke her heart three weeks back. “You know it’s bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Then let’s make that a later,” she deadpans back, trying to busy herself back into the pieces of machinery she knows could keep Poe away from her thoughts.

“El,” Finn pities, with a hand on her shoulder that makes her flinch. Her friend backs out a step but keeps looking at her with softened eyes that reminded her of a kindness she had missed for almost a month now. “He misses you.”

“You’re hilarious, Finn,” (Y/N) bites back, but turns away from him as she feels her throat tighten up with emotions she doesn’t want.

“I’m serious, (Y/N),” Finn releases a kid like whine from the back of his throat at his friend’s stubbornness. Maker, he complains silently, she’s just like Poe. “Poe’s barely keeping it together. He’s not sleeping-”

“I don’t care,” she insists, pretending that if she repeats it enough times, it will actually come true. Her voice struggles to maintain a tough façade, though she feels like Finn knows she’s lying her ass off. “I don’t care, remember? He- he told me to go, and I’m just- I… I’m listening to my best-”

A choked sob is all it takes for her to abruptly push herself from the table, looking at Finn with wide, saddened eyes one last time before she bolts. “I’m doing exactly as he asked.”

And she runs. Scoffs as Finn tries to call her back, to apologize or keep bugging her on, (Y/N) doesn’t care to know. She stares at the ground as she makes her way to her chamber, knocking into her friends’ shoulders as she passes by and struggling to maintain a somehow normal front like she’s done these past few days, but Finn’s mention of Poe has brought her world crashing down with such ease, even after she struggled so badly to keep it standing.

She’s so immersed in her own sorrow that she does not realize who’s the owner of the chest she’s knocked into now, their hands holding her tightly by her forearms to keep her upright and from falling. It is only when she lifts her eyes and catches sight of a necklace with a ring safely tucked on top of the person’s chest. Exactly like the ring Poe had gotten from her mother the day she died and kept safe on a lace around his neck.

“(Y/N),” her jaw clenches at the way Poe breathes out her name, like a gasp after drowning, relieved and husky in a way she usually loves. They lock stares, accidentally, and the expression that resembled confusion on Poe’s face falls into concern as he immediately recognizes the moisture on her bloodshot eyes as tears begging to fall. One of his hands goes to cup her face, and (Y/N) flinches. “Hey, what’s-”

“I’m sorry,” only after she leaves him standing dazed on the crowded hallway (Y/N) asks herself what the hell she’s sorry for. Poe, alone and as he leans against the wall trying to regain the breath he had lost after finally seeing (Y/N) again, cannot get the picture of her wrecked expression out of his mind. He doesn’t follow her, tough, leaving them both alone once again to pine for each other with a tugging like feeling on their broken hearts.

It is Leia who finally puts her foot down.

She spends days watching (Y/N) submit into her work and Poe sulk due the lack of it as he keeps his recovery going, with the support of his friends but missing (Y/N) by his side, by now completely aware that the apology she had babbled to him on the hallway was a product of his harsh words after he first woke up. Poe refuses to talk about it, though, and thanks to both their stubbornness, they had managed to find a schedule in which their paths never crossed.

The General could see the misery they both lived in without each other, so she convinced herself she was doing the right thing as she called (Y/N) and Poe into a council meeting, but instead of meeting a room full of politicians and galaxy’s legislatives they would be alone in the same room for the first time in almost a month.

(Y/N) frowns as she enters the meeting room, looking around to stupidly confirm she’s alone, and wonders if she got the hour or room wrong from the General’s debriefing message. She sighs, and it echoes for a couple of seconds before she turns back into the door, prepared to leave before she meets Poe’s eyes.

“(Y/N)?”

LMAO,YA’LL THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE HAPPY.

as i said yesterday, there are gonna be from three to four parts, and apparently i just turned into a series lol. so, it doesn’t have much poe in it BUT it was getting too long to only fit into a second part so here you go! ‘m not sure when the next part will be ready, expect it maybe for next week.

also, i’m tagging all those who asked for a second part + who voted on the ending, so i hope you like it! tell me what you think!

love,

-e. 

tags: @ilovecamus , @xenwayy , @localfatgirl , @star-arm-and-shield , @helluvapilotgriff , @i-said-goddameron , @sassy-satanunicorns , @areahdnee , @chloecat48 , @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte , @pinkdreamsandglitter

[theshapeshifter100]

Guess What? I’m Not a Robot Ch5

Summary: Megan gets back from the disastrous meeting, and things get better, then worse. Why is it always worse when interacting with other humans?

Word Count: 2,352

Warnings: Implied anxiety and depression, implied minor panic attack, implied suicidal thoughts, swearing near the end

5.30PM Tuesday 19th October 2038

“Megan! You are back early,” Paul noticed as the door opened. When there was no response he looked out of the kitchen towards the front door, just in time to see Megan slam her bedroom door shut. “Is everything all right?”

Megan’s breath hitched on that question, hand clapping over her mouth. No. No she was not alright. She’d been holding it back the entire journey home, and one question was going to undo it all.

“I’m alright,” she managed to get out. “Everything’s fine.”

There was a pause before Paul responded.

“I have not started on dinner yet. Would you like me to?”

“No, thank you,” Megan wanted to be left alone, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it.

Tch. Can’t even tell an android, something designed to listen to you, to go away

Mega swung her bag off her back and flung it onto her bed, trying to not make her distress obvious.

“Understood,” there was a soft shuffling sound as Paul went back to the kitchen. Megan let out a sigh and got into her sleeping clothes. It was only just half five, but she just felt so tired.

Yet, she spent hours staring at the dark ceiling, trying to hold herself together.

8AM Wednesday 20th October 2038

She had forgotten to set an alarm, but Paul filled that role by knocking on her door at 8AM.

“Are you awake Megan?”

Megan groaned to herself, rolling over to stare at the ceiling. Awake, yes. Willing to get out of bed? Remained to be seen.

Paul didn’t try to get another response, so Megan continued to stare at the ceiling. There would be messages on her phone from Alex, telling her when the next meeting was. She had to watch livestreams and recordings of lectures, work more on her assignment, and finish that commission.

She didn’t want to do any of it.

She also didn’t want to sleep anymore, so what did she want?

Oh yes, everything to stop. Not, necessarily end. Just stop for a while.

Yeah, except that was never going to happen, now was it?

With a heavy sigh Megan got out of bed and shambled out of the room. The Roomba had been set loose, carefully avoiding all obstacles, and Paul was just, standing there, with a completely blank expression. His LED blinking slowly, like the old buffering symbol.

As Megan closed her door the LED solidified and Paul turned to look at her, smile forming.

“Good morning Megan. Would you like breakfast?”

Given that she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday, Megan knew what the answer was supposed to be. “Yes please.”

It seemed like Paul’s smile grew wider as he went to get started in the kitchen.

Megan followed him in, watching as he pulled out flour, eggs and milk and started mixing them all together. Making a guess as to what he was doing, Megan began looking through the cupboards for the frying pan.

“Bottom cupboard, two doors left from the sink,” intoned Paul, before his LED blinked yellow and he added. “I assume you were looking for the frying pan.”

“Yeah,” Megan followed his directions and pulled the frying pan, co-incidentally also a hand-me-down from the Beckwith’s when the old one had not been up to the task.

She placed it on the hob and Paul, still mixing, reached to one of the overhead cupboards with one hand and pulled out some oil that had probably been lurking in the back for months. He handed it to Megan, who poured a little into the pan and clumsily swung the pan to spread the oil to the edges before placing it back on the hob.

Expertly Paul took hold of the frying pan and poured batter into it, making sure it got the edges before setting it back down and getting a spatula ready for flipping.

Megan got a plate ready as the pancake cooked, Paul calmly flipping it when it was time. Paul didn’t try to talk, and Megan wasn’t going to start a conversation. This was, nice, peaceful.

It was also a little surprising that he was cooking pancakes the European way, although one of the Beckwiths did come from the UK, so that might be why.

Paul placed the freshly cooked pancake on Megan’s plate and got to cooking another one, and kept going until the jug he was using was empty and there was a 6 high pile of thin pancakes on the plate.

“Sugar?” Paul asked, pre-emptively reaching for the cupboard where he had put the sugar.

“Yes please.”

Paul pulled out a bag of sugar and after a moment of consideration and LED flashing, placed the bag on the small dinner table.

Megan carried the plate over as Paul collected cutlery. Once down she used a teaspoon to sprinkle sugar onto the top pancake, and began to eat.

Paul stood nearby, not in the same standby mode she had seen earlier, but still completely still.

“You can sit down if you want,” Megan half mumbled, feeling a lot better now.

Paul paused for a moment, hovering awkwardly, before pulling out the chair on the other side of the table and sitting in it stiffly.

It took a few more minutes of mental back and forth for Megan to talk again.

“Sorry about last night.”

Paul tilted his head slightly, clearly uncertain as to why she was apologising.

“You were probably preparing to make dinner, and I wasted your time,” that barely scratched the surface of what she was sorry for, but she wasn’t sure how to say the rest of it.

“It’s fine. I had not even started yet. You did not waste my time.”

“O-okay. Good,” Megan got another bite of pancake down.

“So what are your plans for today?”

“Sit at my computer. Work.”

“May I suggest grocery shopping? For exercise as well as buying other supplies which you appear to be lacking.”

Megan felt her mouth twitch in a strange half smile. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Your current lifestyle is not healthy, and given your otherwise low maintenance, this seems to be the best way to assist you.”

Megan sighed, better get this over with. She considered giving in and giving Paul her bank details, but that probably wouldn’t deter him.

“Fine. We’ll go when I’m dressed.”

It was tempted after that to just, not get dressed. Although, she didn’t want to deal with Paul potentially asking her about that, so just took her time to get ready.

“It 42 degrees Fahrenheit outside,” Paul said as Megan grabbed her jacket. “You may wish for something warmer.”

“I’ll be fine,” Megan assured, grabbing some plastic bags that were usually left over from takeout.

“Do you not own a thicker jacket?”

“No.”

“I can add that to the shopping list.”

“I don’t have the money for new clothes.”

“If I had known your budget then I would not have made the suggestion. What is the budget?”

Again with android sass. “About, fifteen dollars, or so.”

“Understood.”

The two left the apartment, Megan tapping her pockets every minute or so to definitely make sure that she still had her keys and wallet.

When they left the building the whipped by them, blowing Megan’s red hair across her face. She ignored it in favour of shoving her hands deeper into her coat pocket. Paul hadn’t been wrong; it was freezing! It was only October, why was it so cold?

Paul led the way towards the nearest grocery store, which Megan had never been to in roughly a year of being in the area. She fell into step with the taller android and buried the bottom half of her face in the collar of her jacket, with her shoulders hunched up around her ears.

She’d grown up in suburbia, so the amount of people on the street when she wasn’t catching the bus still caught her off guard.

“Sorry, excuse me,” she muttered into her coat as she tried to dodge everyone. A large chunk of those walking around were androids, so they easily moved out of the way. Humans weren’t quite so good about it, and at one point she walked on the road to avoid bumping into anyone.

Paul quickly realised that Megan wasn’t next to him and stopped, scanning the area as Megan ducked and weaved to get back to him. It wasn’t like he was tallest in the crowd, but he was a decent focal point.

Megan ducked under a pile of boxes an android was carrying and stood next to Paul. Another reason she hated going out, everyone in the city was tall with no concept of personal space.

“Are you okay?” Paul asked.

“Yeah, just, don’t like getting in the way.”

Paul nodded. “Stay close then,” he added, LED flashing yellow for a second before walking again. Despite the obvious difference in stride, Paul kept his pace slow so Megan wouldn’t get caught up in the crowd.

Stupid. You’re a grown adult and need a babysitter to get through a city?

Nineteen is hardly an adult

Old enough to not need an escort

Megan scowled and followed Paul into the warmth of the grocery store.

“Let’s check clearance,” Megan muttered, leading the way this time in the less crowded store. She actually didn’t know where it was, but for now it helped her ego a little bit.

Paul followed her as she found the clearance section, food items covered in little yellow stickers. Mostly tired looking vegetables, microwave meals that would go out of date that day and meat that would have to go in the freezer almost immediately before it spoiled.

Megan scanned it for a moment, realising just out of practice she was at organising meals. Surely she had been better at this when she was a freshmen, right?

“Okay, er. Paul, you’re the food guy, any thoughts?”

Paul’s LED flashed yellow for a few seconds before grabbing some carrots, potatoes and a 500g pack of minced beef.

“I can’t eat all that!” Megan half whispered.

“These will be for multiple meals. If I portion the meat and freeze it individually it will last a lot longer.”

“That, makes sense.”

The two left the clearance section, and ended up picking up butter, jelly and cheese. It seemed like there was a lot of food piling up in the basket, which Paul was carrying. He saw her looking at the basket and also looked, LED going yellow as he scanned.

“We are well within the budget,” he assured. “We should be able to get something unhealthy as well.”

“Since when did you promote unhealthiness?”

“I do not. The occasional unhealthy treat is healthy for the mind.”

“Right...” Megan wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Although, she did grab a pack of own brand chocolate bars that were on a half price promotion. She wasn’t sure whether or not she saw Paul nod approvingly or not.

“Anything else?” Megan asked.

“This should be sufficient for now.”

“Okay,” Megan relaxed a little. This hadn’t been so bad so far. Clearly her nerves were just making things seem worse than they are, like always.

The two joined the queue to pay, and got through fairly swiftly. The only issue that came up was when she had to use her card to pay for stuff, but the cashier was an android so didn’t say anything.

Paul bagged the groceries as she paid and took them off the counter when she was done.

“Thanks Paul,” she said, feeling slightly guilty. She’d never considered how heavy that basket must have gotten.

“Why the fuck are you thanking it?”

Megan froze like a deer in the headlights. She forced herself to put her foot in front of the other, one by one. If she didn’t answer they would leave her alone.

“Hey! I asked you a question!”

Shit! No no no no no no no.

Someone, she didn’t know who as her eyes had found the floor, stepped in front of her.

“Why the fuck are you thanking the tin can? It’s doing what it’s supposed to!”

Megan didn’t answer. Her throat closed up and her brain blue screened.

“Are you even listening to me?” they stepped closer and shoved her in the shoulder, making her stumble back into Paul, who didn’t have a free hand.

“I’m going to have to ask you to stop harassing customers,” intoned the cashier android, which just made the angry person scoff.

“And what are you gonna do about it, tin man?” they challenged, and surprisingly, it was Paul who spoke up.

“I can call the police on charges of harassment and assault. There were multiple Closed Circuit television cameras that have captured what you have done and said.”

“You stay out of this!” snarled the aggressor, but they were appearing more nervous. They glanced at where the security cameras where before looking back at Megan, who hadn’t moved. “Whatever. Waste of fucking time.”

There was one last shove before they left, but Paul stood like a rock so Megan wouldn’t stumble, and she still didn’t move.

Her breathing was loud in her ears and her thoughts were frozen and racing all at once. She needed to move, get away from the people, but her feet just weren’t moving.

“Megan,” someone was saying her name.

“Ma’am, you need to move,” someone else, someone she didn’t recognise.

Some gripped her shoulders and gently steered her away from the checkout.

“Ma’am?”

Megan finally moved on her own, looking up to see one of the security androids leaned over to reach her level, LED blinking yellow.

“I’m fine,” the lie slipped out easily, and it was enough to get them to back off.

She was calming down now, and could feel embarrassment wash over her.

“Let’s go home Paul,” she mumbled, and Paul followed as she left the store. The wind blew bitterly still, but Megan found herself not caring, staying as close to Paul as possible as they went back to the apartment.

Ah, it got better, and then it got worse. Not much to say on this one to be honest, a little domestic chapter with some anxiety thrown in, wooo!

Other Options Flowchart

Go back to sleep

Give Paul Megan's bank details and send him shopping

Tags! @septicart-appreciation @nightmarejim

[emeraldwaves]

Title: The Best Part of Waking Up is Hearts Drawn on Your Cup For @spades-and-aces for @kacchakosecretsanta <3!! Happy Holidays! Pairing:  Kacchako Rating: T Word Count:  5,480 Read on Ao3 Summary:  Bakugou Katsuki is not a heart person. He doesn't like cute things, and he especially hates it when his stupid round faced barista draws cute things on his morning coffee cup.

Thanks to @its-love-u-asshole and @lainaraquel for reading ahead of time! <3

Full fic under the cut

It started with a heart. A simple, tiny, pink heart hand drawn in marker on his coffee cup, right next to his name, and it pissed him the fuck off.

It sat on the white, stupid environmentally friendly coffee cup, the two pink arcs connecting and making his name look absolutely hideous. It took all of his willpower to not crush the cup in his hand and chuck it on the street. The only reason he could restrain himself was because he really wanted the coffee that was inside.

Bakugou Katsuki was not a heart person. He didn't like cute things, and he didn't want anything hand drawn for him on his coffee cup, especially not in the morning when he could barely walk to class he was so damn tired.

The campus coffee shop often had lines out the door in the morning, which usually made Bakugou angry, which only made this whole heart debacle even worse. And now here he was, stomping towards a class he hated, tired from waking up too early, grumpy from waiting in line, and holding a stupid cup with a stupid heart on it. Dumb.

"Bakugou! Hey man!"

Perfect. Another thing to add to his list of reasons why this morning sucked.

Kirishima Eijirou, his self-proclaimed 'best-friend' came bounding over to him. ('Self-proclaimed' was the best way to describe someone like Kirishima because Bakugou himself didn't label anyone as a 'friend'). With a slap on the back, he walked next to Bakugou, way too energized for 9 AM.

Finally, Bakugou greeted him with a grunt.

"Damn man, you really are not a morning person. You better drink up that coffee."

Bakugou's eyebrow twitched, his red eyes homing in on that tiny pink heart. Yeah, he wanted to drink the coffee, but the stupid pink heart had tainted it. "Whatever," he snapped, placing the cup to his lips as he tipped it back. His mouth burned, but Bakugou didn't mind the hot sensation, in fact, it kind of woke him up.

"Oh, ho, ho! What's this?" Kirishima smirked, his lips pulled tight across his pointed teeth. "Did someone get a personalized message on their cup?!"

"Shut it."

"Seems someone has a crush!"

"No," Bakugou snarled, almost smashing the cup against Kirishima's pointy red hair.

"Alright, alright, geez Baks, something is really eating at you this morning." The truth was, something was always eating at Bakugou, but this particular morning he was feeling extra testy; all due to the stupid little heart.

"I didn't ask anyone to draw on my cup. It looks fucking stupid!" he yelled finally.

"Just a picture dude, calm down. The barista probably thought you were cute and wanted to give you a nice picture," Kirishima said. "It's called flirting. Did you see what they looked like?"

"You think I was looking?!" Bakugou said.

"Or they saw how grouchy you are and thought it would cheer you up," Kirishima mumbled, almost under his breath.

"Why in the hell would something like THIS ever cheer me up!?" Bakugou snapped.

Kirishima shrugged. "Obviously this person doesn't know you at all."

"No shit," he hissed.

"If you're that mad about it, just keep the cup, bring it back tomorrow and tell them not to do it again," Kirishima suggested.

Biting down on his lip, Bakugou stared at the white cup with the disgusting pink heart on it. There were two problems with this plan. One being that he obviously didn't want to keep this cup for another 24 hours. Just the idea of it being in his presence pissed him off. Hell, he didn't even have to look at it to be annoyed. And second, he also didn't want to acknowledge any of the baristas at the school coffee shop. Right now they had a strictly business relationship, meaning Bakugou walked up to the front, placed his order, and then walked away. The perfect amount of human interaction in Bakugou's opinion.

But one conversation to save him from an eternity of doodled on cups seemed worth it.

"Fine. I'll do it," he growled, not looking forward to the next morning.

~~

Slipping on her hat, Uraraka tied the green apron around her waist, now ready for her morning to begin. She didn't used to be a morning person, but when she took on the job at the coffee shop to help her parents with tuition she had to adapt for the early morning campus rush.

It was an easy enough job, taking orders, making coffee, sometimes cleaning up if she had the night shift, and she often got to interact with tons of people on campus, including her friends. Iida and Midoriya always stopped by when she worked mornings.

"Morning Uraraka!" Yaoyorozu walked in through the door, her dark hair pulled back into her wispy ponytail, apron and hat already on. Yaoyorozu always was ready to go, no matter what task came her way.

"Hi Yaomomo!" Uraraka smiled. She loved opening the shop with her, mostly because the girl was just as bright and cheery as she was in the morning. "Did you and Todoroki get any studying done last night or-?"

"A-AH! Uraraka!" Yaoyorozu said, waving her hands in front of her face. Uraraka didn't need her to say anything else, the red on Yaoyorozu's cheeks was answer enough.

"When's your test?" Uraraka asked, flicking a few of the machines on.

"Friday. I already told Shouto we have to study separately for the rest of the week," she nodded, sweeping at the front entrance.

"That's probably for the best," Uraraka giggled, setting out a few of the cups. Standing at the register, she pulled out a few of her markers from her bag and placed them in an empty cup next to her.

Yaoyorozu blinked, watching as the colored markers tumbled into place. "Did Grumpy Guy say anything to you? The one you drew the heart for?" she asked, leaning over the counter.

Every morning without fail, for the past month or so, a blond-haired, angry looking guy had come to get coffee from them. Bakugou, was apparently his name, according to his cup, and he came during all of Uraraka's morning shifts. She could only assume he came in during the days she wasn't working either. He never said a word; he'd walk up to the counter, looking as though he were about to explode, and then he'd place his order and walk away. He never said 'hello' or 'good morning' or anything that wasn't his coffee order.

So, Uraraka had come up with a plan. He was obviously grouchy about something. Or maybe he just really was not a morning person. Either way, she had a great idea to try and cheer him up.

Yesterday, when he placed his order, instead of just writing his name like usual, she'd taken an extra second to doodle a cute little heart on his cup. She'd hoped it would make him smile, however, he'd just stormed out of the cafe like he normally did, no different reaction.

"No," she sighed sadly, leaning forward on her palm, her cheek pressing against her hand. "He didn't say anything!"

"Maybe he'll say something today!" Yaoyorozu said cheerfully. "I mean the lines are super long in here and it was crowded, maybe he didn't wanna bother you!"

"That could be it! I just hope it...made his day a little bit brighter," she said.

"Wow, someone is crushing hard," she giggled, poking at Uraraka's side.

Uraraka shot up, her face turning bright red. "W-What! N-No! I didn't mean it like that!" she said hurriedly. "I just...don't like seeing people who are grumpy all the time!"

"Suuure," Yaoyorozu said, switching the sign on the door from 'closed' to 'open'. "Good luck!" she teased, making her way behind the counter as their early morning customers began to make their way in.

When 9 AM strolled around, Bakugou walked through the door, and Uraraka felt her heart leap into her throat. She did not have a crush. Most definitely not; she was just...curious about what he was going to say. Or if he was going to say anything.

He made it to the front of the line, and raised his gaze to meet hers. It was the first time she'd ever really gotten the chance to see his eyes and how red they were. It was...almost impossible to look away.

Normally, she didn't have the chance to say good morning to him, seeing as his regular routine included keeping his eyes down, shoving the money on the counter and mumbling his order, but today...today was her chance. "Good morn-"

A slam cut her off immediately, and a small yelp left her lips, leaping back from the counter. "What the hell is this?" he growled.

Blinking, Uraraka slowly looked down, staring at the cup from yesterday. It was a little crushed at the bottom, from how hard he'd slammed it on the counter, but it was definitely the cup she'd drawn the heart on.

"Uh..." she began, regaining her composure. "It's...a coffee cup?" she said, utterly confused as to why he had brought the cup back with him.

"I know that dipshit," he snorted. "I meant this!" His finger fell directly onto the heart next to his name.

"O-oh!" she stammered. "It's a heart! I drew it for you, thinking it might make you smile-"

"Well you thought wrong, Round Face!" he snarled. "I hate cute shit like this. No more hearts!"

Uraraka's jaw dropped, staring at the boy in front of her. Who the hell was this guy? Did he really hate the fact she had drawn a simple heart on his cup? So much so he'd brought the cup back to her, just to tell her not to do it again?

"You...brought the cup to tell me that?" she asked. It was the only thing she could actually think to say. "You could've...just told me not to draw again," she whispered, her voice growing quieter the more he talked.

Suddenly, she missed when he just mumbled his order.

Twisting his lips into a frustrated pout, Bakugou slammed the money on the counter, pushing it towards her. "Whatever. Don't do it again," he growled, and stormed away after mumbling out his order.

Uraraka's fists clenched against the counter. How...rude! She'd never encountered someone so loud, and mean and stupid quite frankly. He'd brought his trash just to tell her he didn't like a heart it had taken her four seconds to doodle.

Well, two could play at this game. Scribbling his name onto a new cup, she took a few extra seconds to doodle out a rainbow and stars, decorating his name even more than she had the day before. She passed the cup down the line, and smiled to her next customer.

She couldn't wait to see how much he liked that.

~~

"That. Damn. Round Face!" Bakugou yelled, slamming the cup into the trash after he'd emptied it of all the coffee. "Can you fucking believe this?" he snapped, glaring at Kirishima.

"Uh, kinda?" he said, peering into the trash. "What...happened, exactly?" he asked.

"My cup! That stupid barista drew on it again!" he snapped, folding his arms as he bounced his leg up and down against the table.

"Dude, why does this bug you so much?" Kirishima asked, taking a large gulp of his water.

"Because," Bakugou hissed. "It makes me look like a frilly idiot!"

"I got news for ya' dude, no one is looking at your coffee cup-"

"You don't fucking know that!" he snapped, cutting Kirishima off.

He held his hands up. "Okay, okay! I just don't think it's big deal. Actually, I think it's kinda cute. She keeps giving you personalized pictures," he smirked.

"It's not cute! Nothing about it is cute!" he grumbled, his cheeks puffing out away from his face.

"I don't get why you won't just take it as a compliment?" Kirishima chuckled. "But hey, you do you man."

Bakugou picked up his phone, noting that class started in 30 minutes. As far as he was concerned, that was plenty of time. "You know what, Spikey Head," he grumbled. "I fuckin' will."

"Where are you going?!" Kirishima called after him, watching him walk away.

"To settle this bullshit!" he snarled, though it was mostly said through his breath, making it impossible for Kirishima to hear anything.

The coffee shop was in the central building on campus, making it fast to get to from almost any of the main dorms or main academic buildings, suffice to say Bakugou did not take long to slam the door open to the coffee shop.

This time, he didn't bring the cup, since she had so purposefully mentioned he didn't need the cup to make his point. Still, he stormed up to the counter. "Oi. Round face," he called out, watching her back as she cleaned the machine behind the counter.

From behind, Bakugou could concede that she was maybe, just maybe, a little cute. The apron, tied around her back followed the gentle curve of her waist, and her ass, pert and small wasn't too bad to look at either. She jumped a little at his voice, her brown bob cut bouncing as she turned around, immediately folding her arms over her chest when her large brown eyes met his harsh glare.

"What do you want, Bakugou Katsuki?" she snapped.

With a huff, he slammed his hand down on the table. "How the hell do you know my name?" he snapped.

She quirked her eyebrow and picked up an empty cup and a marker, gesturing to it obviously.

"Fuck," he grunted. "Okay, whatever, that shit doesn't fucking matter!" he snapped. "I asked you not to draw shit on my cup, and what do you do? Draw. More. Shit."

"Mmmm." She sighed, and pursed her lips, twirling one of the longer pieces of her hair in her finger. "Actually, I believe your exact words were something along the lines of 'No more hearts!'" she yelled, mimicking his voice. "And I didn't draw hearts," she smirked.

His hands curled into fists, the bones in his knuckles cracking one by one. Who the hell did this girl think she was?! No one talked to Bakugou Katsuki like that! No one. "I didn't mean it like that, dipshit!" he cursed. "I meant don't draw anything! Got it?!"

The girl shrugged, raising her hands up, and Bakugou growled, turning away from her. He didn't have time to waste on a cute barista who wasn't going to treat him with some damn respect!

But he swore, if his cup had a stupid drawing on it tomorrow, all hell was going to break loose.

~~

"Was that Grumpy Guy?" Yaoyorozu asked, tilting her head out from the backdoor. She'd been counting inventory when Bakugou had stormed in, but of course the blond had been loud enough for everyone within a mile radius to hear him.

"Yup," Uraraka said, shaking her head. "Came in to yell at me about my drawings again," she smiled devilishly. "And you know what I'm going to do?"

"...What?" Yaoyorozu asked tentatively.

"I'm going to doodle his stupid face on this stupid cup, and I'm going to save it for him tomorrow."

A smirk pulled across the tall dark-haired girl's lips. "You're really invested in this, aren't you?"

"What?" Uraraka scoffed. "No! I just think he's an ass and if my drawings make him so angry, well anything to make his day a little worse. Hmph!" she huffed, beginning her doodle on the cup.

"Or..." Yaoyorozu began. "You enjoy seeing him come in here and talk to you everyday."

"What? No! Stop with these weird ideas, Yaomomo!" Uraraka said, her voice way higher in pitch than she meant it to be. Bakugou Katsuki was nothing more than a jerk. A rude, unappreciative jerk, and frankly, Uraraka didn't want anything to do with him. But...his reactions were really humorous.

"Just admit it Uraraka!" Yaoyorozu teased. "Plus I know you've been telling other people about it! Tsu mentioned to me just the other day how you had all these plans for different drawings."

Urakaka puffed out her cheeks, her hands coming up to her face. "It's not like that!" she said. Snatching the cup up, she began to doodle his stupid angry face. First, she outlined the blond spikes of his hair, then she drew in his beady red eyes and finally, she made certain to add eyebrows which sloped downward, giving the face an extra angry look. Lord knew it wasn't Bakugou without the anger. Perfection. She turned towards Yaoyorozu and shoved the cup towards her face. "See! He's such an asshole! He deserves this!" she huffed, slamming the cup back down on the counter.

"You're starting to sound just as angry as him," Yaoyorozu giggled and Uraraka let out a squeak, her hands covering her mouth.

"Do you really think so?!"

"Okay, no one could be as angry as Grumpy Guy. I mean who gets mad about a drawing on a cup?" Yaoyorozu admitted.

"My thoughts exactly!" Uraraka nodded, folding her arms. "I was just trying to be nice," she whined.

Suddenly, Yaoyorozu's eyes lit up and she held up one finger, as though she'd been hit with the world's greatest idea. "Unless!"

Uraraka really didn't like the look on her friend's face. "Unless?" she asked hesitantly.

"Unless, he likes you and this is just an excuse to talk to you!" she said, grabbing Uraraka's hands.

"What?!" she gasped, her round cheeks turning a bright shade of pink. "N-No way! I mean...he hates me," she said, pulling away from the dark-haired girl. She waved her hands back and forth quickly, almost knocking the cup she'd drawn on over.

"Yeah but sometimes boys are mean to the girls they really like," Yaoyorozu said pointedly.

Uraraka blushed, but shook her head. "We're not in middle school, Yaomomo!"

"I don't know...he sure acts like he is!" she giggled.

"T-That's ridiculous. He doesn't like me. He hates me. I don't even think he knows my name, even though I wear a name tag," she grumbled.

Yaoyorozu shrugged. "Think what you want. But I really do think he likes you, and based on how much you're blushing you probably like him," she said, walking back towards the closet to grab more coffee cups.

There was no way she, Uraraka Ochako, liked someone as mean and rude as Bakugou Katsuki.

"Yaomomo," she whined softly. "Stop! I promise you, there are no feelings here," she shook her head.

She giggled, pulling out a long stack of wrapped up coffee cups. "You know, I said the same thing when all of you girls were teasing me about Shouto."

Uraraka's face paled. Yaoyorozu wasn't kidding. She really had done that when all the girls had teased Yaoyorozu about spending so much time with Todoroki 'studying'. They were all convinced she was doing everything but. Turns out they had been right.

But there was no way it was the same for her. No way! She shook her head. "This is different I swear!"

"Okay," Yaoyorozu said with a shrug. "I'll let you figure it out on your own like I did." Uraraka really hated that knowing smile on her cheeks.

~~

"So what is it today?" Kirishima smirked, leaning towards Bakugou. It had been a little over a week now since the heart disaster, and the drawings still hadn't let up. No matter how many times he threatened her or how many times he yelled in the store, every morning Bakugou would pick up his drink from the counter with some sort of drawing on it.

"My face again," he growled, holding up the cup for Kirishima to see. This particular drawing of his face was different though. He was smiling, and he looked so happy, it almost didn't look like him. Next to his face was a cute message written in cursive script that just read 'Smile!'. Bakugou hated it.

The most annoying part about all this was he couldn't even enjoy the coffee! He was so hell bent on downing the liquid as fast as he could so he could throw away the damn cup!

"Can I ask you something, man?" Kirishima said, watching as Bakugou practically chugged the coffee down.

"What?" he snarled, slamming the doodled on cup onto the table.

"If you're so mad about this why haven't you...tried to come up with a solution?" Kirishima said, picking up the cup to look at the drawing once again.

"What kind of solution? I'm not an idiot, Kirishima! There are no other coffee shops on campus!" Bakugou yelled, tossing his hands up in the air in frustration.

Kirishima rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant doofus. I meant you could buy a cup holder and cover up the drawings!" he said. "Or bring your own cup. One of those reusable ones. She can't draw on it if it belongs to you. You could also make coffee in your dorm, just buy one of those little machines, or-"

"ENOUGH!" Bakugou yelled. "I'm sick of hearing about this!" he grumbled, shaking his head. "I don't wanna listen to your bull crap! Those are all shitty ideas! Way too much effort!" A creature of habit, Bakugou didn't feel like changing up his routine. And he shouldn't have to just because some stupid girl was stupidly drawing stupid pictures on his stupid cup!

Narrowing his eyes, Kirishima's lips pulled into a rather disturbing shit-eating grin. "You...like them," he said. "You like the drawings!" He pointed directly at his best friend.

Bakugou's nose wrinkled. "The fuck?!"

"I kept wondering why you kept going back at the same time everyday, and why you didn't just bring your own cup, or make coffee in your dorm, but I get it now! I get it! You like the drawings, you like her!" He began to laugh, gripping his stomach with his palms. "I can't believe it!"

"Shut the fuck up, Spiky Hair!" Bakugou yelled, smacking his hand down on the table. "I don't like Round Face! I hate her. I h-a-t-e her! Get that through your spiky head!" he snapped.

The grin was back. "Oh yeah? Then why do you keep going to get coffee from her? And why are you blushing right now!"

"I'm not fucking blushing!" he growled. "My cheeks are red with rage! You wanna get pummeled?!"

"Dude! There's no need to get so upset! Just ask her out! She obviously likes you too if she keeps spending all this time on your drawings. Hell, some of them look like she spent a lot of time on it. I've been telling you this since day 1!" Kirishima urged.

Bakugou grabbed the cup and crushed it in his hand, tossing the empty trash into the can next to him. "Shut up!" he growled. "You got it all wrong! I don't like her." Snatching up his backpack, he stormed off, heading towards class.

"Just do it, man!" Kirishima called after him, and Bakugou hated the way his voice echoed across the campus. It felt as though everyone's eyes were falling on him.

He didn't like her. He didn't like her at all. It wasn't like he sat around wondering what would be on his cup the next day. Oh no. He never did that. And he never wondered what classes Round Face took. He never imagined what she looked like in not her coffee shop uniform. Her shapely hips probably looked awful in a cute skirt and she probably looked stupid in a form fitting tank top. And the more Bakugou continued to NOT think about her, the more embarrassed he grew.

"Fuck this," he snapped, kicking a rock against the pavement, his cheeks about as red as Kirishima's hair. He had to focus on classes, his schoolwork. He was smart and got good grades, hell he was the best in the whole damn college! He didn't have to be thinking about Round Face being his damn girlfriend or whatever! This was all so fucking stupid!

~~

Okay. So maybe Uraraka Ochako did have a teeny tiny crush on Bakugou Katsuki. Whenever he came in in the mornings, she always secretly looked forward to his outburst when he picked up his cup with her drawing and stormed out the door, looking more than just a little angry. And she also enjoyed seeing what sort of daily tactic he would use to get her to stop.

Sometimes he would hold his money, saying he wouldn't pay her until she agreed to stop. Of course, she never would agree, and eventually he'd slam the bills down when people behind him starting yelling that he was holding up the line. He would obviously yell back, but cave when he realized he had to be at class soon anyway.

There was another time he had threatened to go to another coffee shop, but she had pointed out immediately that there weren't any other coffee shops on their campus, seeing as their college was extremely tiny.

"I'll bring a cup holder!" he snapped another time.

"Go ahead," she smirked. "But you'll know," she teased, leaning over the counter towards him. "You'll know that underneath that holder is a cutesy drawing done by yours truly." That time, their faces had been the closest they'd ever been, and Uraraka had noticed how sharp Bakugou's eyes were. They made her heart throb, and her face heat up.

A third time, he had mentioned investing in buying his own coffee maker to keep in his dorm room, and Uraraka had sighed, musing that homemade coffee just never tasted quite the same as coffee you got from a cafe. With the way Bakugou's eyebrow had twitched, his face contorting in anger, Uraraka guessed he agreed.

She slowly realized after a while, her responses were just tiny ways to make him stay. She wanted to see him every morning. She wanted to hear his gravelly voice, listen to his excuses and watch him grow angry about the most ridiculous things. It was oddly cute? And endearing in a weird way.

Basically, Yaoyorozu had been right, and Uraraka wasn't really sure how to admit it.

With a sigh, she pulled out the coffee cups, and turned on the machines for the day.

"That was a big sigh," Yaoyorozu giggled, slipping her apron on over her head while tying it around her back. "Nervous your boy isn't going to come in today?"

"W-What?! No! He comes in everyday!" Uraraka retorted quickly.

"Right, sorry," Yaoyorozu giggled.

"Actually," Uraraka began, adjusting her hat. "I...think maybe you were right. What you said...you know...about a week ago?" she mumbled.

"What? About your crush on Bakugou?" Somewhere along the way they'd started calling him by his real name, even though he could only seem to call Uraraka 'Round Face'.

"...Y-Yeah...T-That..." she said nervously. "You were right."

"Oh, I know! I was just waiting for you to come to terms with it!" she giggled.

Uraraka sighed. "Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? It's not like he likes me back!"

"Ura...the guy comes in here everyday to get coffee from you. And if he really hated your drawings, he could do so many different things about it!" she laughed. "Trust me, I have a feeling he likes you too. Even if he might not know it, because he seems a little...well...emotionally stupid."

"Hmmm..." Uraraka moaned, resting her head on her hand.

"You could ask him out?" Yaoyorozu suggested. "I mean if you want. I know it took me and Shouto forever to finally figure things out."

It was true, Todoroki and Yaoyorozu had spent a great amount of time dancing around the subject. Before officially becoming a couple, they had kissed once and still hadn't figured out they wanted to be together. Uraraka really did not want things to be like that with her and Bakugou, if they were even going to happen.

Uraraka sighed. "Maybe I will. Maybe I'll just do it! I mean what's the worst that could happen? He'd say no?" she said, trying to talk herself into it. Slamming her hand down on the counter, she heard Yaoyorozu jump behind her. "Yeah! I'm going to do it!"

But as the time to open the cafe was ticking closer and closer, Uraraka felt her nerves build more and more. With each person that walked through the door, she kept anticipating Bakugou, and everytime it wasn't him, her heart thumped louder and louder in her ears.

And what was she going to say?! They didn't have a very...friendly relationship. Most of their conversation consisted of her retorting against his anger with a snarky comment. Oh gosh, why did she like him?! She couldn't just randomly start being sweet to him and casually ask if he wanted to get a cup of coffee sometime. Actually she definitely couldn't ask that. Asking someone on a coffee date when you worked at a coffee shop was possibly the lamest thing!

Then, he walked through the door. She saw his spiky blond hair immediately and her heart stopped, her mouth ran dry. What was she going to say? He was walking up to the counter with such purpose, his red eyes already trembling with frustration.

"Alright Round Face," he grinned. "Do your worst." He slammed the money down on the counter and Uraraka couldn't find the words to speak. What could she say?! "Oi! What the hell is your problem today?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at her strange quiet behavior.

She picked up the coffee cup, her hand trembling, and it suddenly hit her. "Oh nothing," she hummed. With a smirk, she scribbled her message onto the side of the cup, and handed it off.

She couldn't even hear the order of the next customer, she was wringing her hands together tightly, waiting for Bakugou to look at the cup. Yaoyorozu called out his name, and he grabbed it from the counter. He stared at it, and then turned it around in his hand, standing in place.

In a flash, he was back up at the front counter, pushing past the people in line without a care. Unsurprisingly. He slammed the cup down, some of the coffee splashing out through the small hole in the lid. "What the hell is this?!"

"I dunno," she shrugged innocently.

"'I'll stop doodling on your cup,'" he began to read, turning the cup around to see the other part of the message. "'If you go on a date with me.' You fuckin' serious Round Face?" he snapped.

Biting her lip, she nodded.

"Tch," he scoffed, folding up his arms. "Gross, fine. But you're going on a date with me! Got it!?" he snapped, gesturing his thumb to his chest.

"Isn't that...the same thing?" she asked, raising her eyebrow, but she couldn't stop the wide smile which tugged across her lips.

"NO! It's not!" Bakugou growled, and glared at the person behind him when they poked his shoulder. "Hold the fuck up, I'm asking this chick out!" he snarled, the other guy immediately taking a step back.

He yanked a napkin from the tray and scribbled his number on it with one of the pens. "Text me your damn number Round Face and we'll go to see a stupid movie or get food or whatever."

"It's...Uraraka, call me that," she snorted, folding her arms. "If you're actually going to take me on a date call me by my name!"

"Fine, Uraraka," he snapped. "And...don't stop with these." He gestured to the writing on the cup. "If you're gonna be my girlfriend, my cups should be special!" he yelled, and yanked the coffee cup off of the counter as he stormed out of the store.

Girlfriend. She liked the sound of that. She smiled, hugging the napkin to her chest for a minute before taking the next customer's order. She was going to go on a date with Bakugou, and though it would probably be loud, and he'd probably be a little grouchy, she couldn't help but smile, cause she had a feeling it was going to be damn fun.

~~

A few hours later, Bakugou received a text from an unknown number, but he knew immediately it was Uraraka.

[Text from: Round Face]: Hey Bakugou. It's Uraraka. Can't wait to see where we go! <3

He'd known it was her from the heart emoji she'd tacked on at the end.

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't really a heart person. He didn't like cute things, and he thought emojis were stupid. But he supposed, even if he only admitted it in his very private, very personal thoughts, Uraraka Ochako was pretty damn cute, and he didn't mind her hearts.

[scithemodestmermaid]

and now im up at 6:30am so that I can work an 8-and-a-half hour shift.  if things go the same way today that they did yesterday, i won’t be getting any sort of break today, either.

i hope i’ll be allowed to leave three hours earlier like the other receptionist did yesterday, but i sincerely doubt it.  this is, as i predicted, turning out to be a lot like old jobs i’ve had: i work hard, everyone else slacks off, i’m expected to work harder to cover them instead of idk they work harder to get their stuff finished?  i’m very mad about the other receptionist leaving so early, because right after she left we got hit with a wave of walk-ins and phone calls.  if she had stayed her whole shift like she was supposed to, we could have lightened the load and gotten stuff done.  and i don’t know why she left, because the boss said just the other day that “we wouldn’t ever get our hours cut” (so either that was a fib or by “we” she didn’t mean receptionists as a whole, she literally meant just me) and the receptionist herself said that she would stay until my campaign calls got done.  but holy cow, if i were allowed to leave early today then that would make things so much easier on me.  i could actually catch up on sleep.

also, i’m supposed to train someone on sunday.  i barely got any training myself.  i’ve only been there a month.  i’m still bewildered and confused.  and i’m supposed to train someone.

monday is the first day off i’ll have had in two weeks.  and that’s only because i had to change my availability to say “look, i need these two days off to work on other things like schoolwork.”  if they could, they would run me ragged into the ground. over nine bucks an hour.

yes, i’m back to hating this job.  i like most of the people i work with, and the job isnt nearly as strict as ones ive had before, but the hours i’m just having so much trouble getting past.  the hours were nowhere this grueling when i worked a full time job.  not saying i want to go back to that specific full time, oh hell no.  maybe i’m just done with customer service jobs in general.  i want to work a 9-5 in an office, where they stick me in a cubicle in a corner and tell me to program or whatever and i rarely have to interact with people.  i know my schedule, i know my tasks, and i don’t get overwhelmed by employees leaving just as a huge rush of clients stampedes in.  that sounds a dream.

[steamishot]

Habits

I’ve been making some lifestyle changes lately. Most, if not all my life, I’ve done things in a rush. I tend to value speed (maybe because I find the task more challenging and more fun if I race against time lol) when I complete tasks, and I realize I’ve been quite unaware that I do this. Little everyday things, like getting ready in the morning, taking a shower, peeing, washing my hair, combing my hair, applying lotion, blow drying my hair- I realize I rush through it and just hope I show up presentable. I wasn’t that aware until Matt pointed it out a few times, and I realize it when I’m on a trip with a few other girls and how quickly I’m able to get ready and how little effort I put in. I’ve been taking small but promising changes towards self-care. I’m slowing down during the shower and enjoying my time there more instead of viewing it as task that I just wanna get over with (kinda like how I view washing dishes or doing laundry). In a sense, I’m learning to embrace my feminine side and be okay with the time and effort I spend on myself. I only get one face and body in this lifetime after all.

I’m also translating this onto my hobbies/work out goals. In the past, I’ve focused on results, and wanted results quick. I would work extra hard in the beginning and then burn myself out and then stop altogether. I’ve been listening to a podcast called GeniusBrain. The hosts are Asian American youtube entertainers, and I think they provide a lot of good life advice and insight, while presenting it in a way that is authentic and funny. In one episode, as they talked about fitness, they mentioned that it is very common for people who are new to working out to want to see results quickly. And they described the same thing I went through multiple times. Their advice for someone who was completely sedentary and wanted to become more active was – JUST START WALKING EVERYDAY. Easy enough goal right? I only realized that more important to having big goals was the ability to be disciplined and form habits. My work out endeavors in the past didn’t really work for me, in hindsight, because the routine was too complex for me to absorb. I would follow youtube videos with weight training and cardio, but without the videos, I was at a loss. Maybe around Fall 2019, I started doing a mile run after work. I remember taking like 13 minutes to run a mile, but being so out of breath and lightheaded after I completed it.

In December, I made a goal to do 10k steps at least 5x/week. This is easy to accomplish during a workday, but I don’t track it as much during the weekend. I’ve consistently been taking my two breaks each work day to walk, and my body has significant improvements. Most days (excluding the days when I’m super exhausted from lack of sleep and/or traveling) I run 2+ miles on a treadmill at home. If I have a hours of free time over the weekend, I’ll do 5 miles. This is mindless, as I don’t have to think too much about following a youtube video, but instead I get to run while watching a show, which makes exercising much more bearable and fun. Now when I get home and don’t work out, my body feels weird and craves a workout. I’m happy to have formed a habit!!! I didn’t even run this much when I “trained” for a half marathon a few years ago. I eventually want to incorporate this ten minute muscle toning work out into my routine, but I’ll wait until my running habit has really developed. But my lesson is, doing less consistently is actually more in the long run.

This is the same with drawing. It helps when I am drawing things for other people, as it holds me accountable. At the same time, it is much more fulfilling to draw for a purpose – to bring joy to others. I know that I try harder when I’m drawing for other people than for myself. It’s only been a few weeks so far, but I’ve been drawing more consistently than I ever have since like high school. I think as an adult, hobbies can easily be seen as a waste of time if you’re not it for some monetary or health value, at least IMO. But I think illustration is a valuable skill in the design world, and it’s something I can add to my portfolio. In any case, I think doing something/building on any skill is better than not doing anything at all.

Notable events-

My bro and wife just bought a pretty expensive house in Gardena. They will probably move into it the end of the month. It is by far the nicest/biggest house in our family and they were able to do it with their parents’ help (mostly her parents). There was a joke that Trevor Noah did, about what college degree is the most useful- and the answer is rich/successful parents. I am happy for them. At the same time, I feel like there was no struggle on their part, but kinda leeching off parents. Her parents are still fairly young, so I don’t mind too much, but I get sad seeing that my parents are getting old, and they sacrifice so much just for their child to have a less stressful life. I am happy to know that my parents give what they can “for the next generation”, but they also have firm boundaries.

My grandma has 7 kids, and some send her money every month. Lately, my grandma has been giving me more money than before. She always wants to pay when we eat out, and gives me money every time I go on trips. I used to be uncomfortable accepting it, and always declined it. But now, I understand that it makes her happy that I accept her support. So now I just take it and say thank you. In my perspective, I think she thinks her time left is limited, so she’d rather “invest” in me because it’s more worthwhile.

Also, my SIL told my mom she’s pregnant.

I am leaving to NYC tomorrow! The more I go, the less ideas I have of what to do when planning out our itinerary, but I am just excited to be able to cuddle and give each other tight hugs and be there physically with each other. We had one of our worst fights over the weekend, and it spanned like 4 days, just because our free time doesn’t overlap enough to finish arguing lol. It is funny but it also is a really sucky feeling, because we both end up going to sleep upset and can’t talk about it until after work the next day. I am trying to make light of it now, but I felt pretty depressed going through it. Deep breathing helped. 

I want to document this so I can remember in the future - what happened was during/after night shifts, he just never “bounced back”. I stayed getting not as much attention (which may be the normal amount of communication in some LDRs, but it was a drastic change for me, perhaps because he used to spoil me before). We barely texted, barely got to talk in depth, and he was learning to be more efficient with his time and have more self-care (sleeping early, unwinding more, drinking less coffee) that he came off cold and distant to me. I accepted it as the norm during night shift, but was expecting that he return to “normal” afterwards. Anyway, because I was already in an insecure state of mind due to the perceived difference in behavior, I took it really personally when I was trying to plan out moving in together and he couldn’t give me an estimated timeline. I started feeling like he had some reservations about me that was preventing us from moving forward. His explanation was that - he doesn’t know what program he will be going to (will find out if he gets in on Match day), and doesn’t want to plan ahead because he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. I didn’t understand this, because to me I was just talking hypothetically. However, I didn’t really consider how emotionally heavy Match day could be to him. He did work very hard for a decade to get where he is at, and his future is still not guaranteed. So, even though I feel like my life is “on hold”, I can be patient and wait another month to find out. 

Got a pap smear done yesterday. 

Work updates: there was a period of time when things were quite slow for me. I noted in a blog post about how guilty I was feeling, and how odd I felt around my supervisor. I tended to hide in my room and not interact with my supervisor. Thankfully, work is picking up as we are preparing for the incoming and terminating housestaff. I’ve been making a bigger effort to build relationships with people, and interact more with my supervisor.

Edit: these days feel pretty sucky to me. I think I’ve been extra lonely because my best hometown girlfriend has a boyfriend now, and we barely hang out anymore. Although in the grand scheme of things, I am very fortunate. I told my coworkers I was going to NYC this weekend, and one of them responded, “you’re so lucky!”. These days have been more challenging, with more questions of “is it worth it to put up with this relationship” as I’m feeling pretty neglected and unhappy. But I know it’s the combination of things - feeling stagnant with my life, not as challenged at work (although work is sometimes quite enjoyable), not having my close friend around a lot, etc. 

Sometimes I look at how my bro and his wife just lounge and relax and go out on dates. And I think about how that different that is from my life with Matt. Everything between us is fast paced, we are always on the go, and tired. Today, I received notice that I got a speeding ticket in NOLA. I also received a fine from the car rental company. Driving there was stressful and tiring already. I was also a bit salty that I drove the entire trip, and no one offered to help out. This is my first ever speeding ticket and I’d hate to have to pay it fully. This news made me feel shittier. I tried to think of positive things, like that I randomly received a tax refund from 2016, and the check would cover my tickets almost exactly. And another positive thing was that I forgot my iPad on the plane and was able to get it back. Lastly, if these are the things I am sad about, then I have it pretty good. 

Second edit: I realize I feel better when I talk to friends/acquaintances/work friends about things. It helps put my situation into perspective. I was feeling like a victim regarding my parking ticket, but $140 isn’t bad compared to the $300-500 speeding tickets in LA. My work mom just laughed at me saying, you? speeding ticket? HAHAHA congratulations. It reminds me that I do take my life too seriously sometimes. My friends on the trip are also “donating” to this cause, so it also takes the load off and I appreciate it a lot. 

[astro-b-o-y-d]

The Long Road Home Pt. 2

The next three chapters of SOSO are finally here! Author’s notes and additional fic warnings are on Ao3. And trust me, you’ll want to read them.

[Read on Ao3]

"I cannot believe how many people said they'd be attending today."

"It's like you said," Neil said from one of the other tables. "David couldn't be the only kid who actually liked the camp."

"Yeah, but I didn't expect our group to actually be the odd ones out of the batch, and for nearly every other person that went to the camp to absolutely love it as much as David," Max pointed out, as he smoothed the tablecloth into place. "Did any of them have anything better to do over the summer than attend some run-down camp in the middle of nowhere?"

"Most of them were born in the nineties," Neil said. "They were all about that 'playing outside' bullshit because they didn't have Internet yet."

"Good point. Fucking weirdos."

"Think anyone from our year will show up, aside from those of us already here?" Neil asked, flicking his thumb towards the part of the yard where Harrison, Nikki and Nerris were busy with their own tasks.

"Let's take bets on who we think will show up," Max said. "Dibs on Space Kid."

"That's cheating, you know he's the most likely out of anyone that isn't here already," Neil said. "Actually, he's probably more likely to come to this than anyone already here."

"Hey, I called dibs," Max said. "So you gotta pick someone else."

"What are we even betting?" Neil asked. "Out of the two of us, I'm the only one with a job and money."

"If I win, you let me use your employee discount at that nerd store you work at," Max said. "If you win, I owe you a favor or something, I don't know."

"Is there even anything there you'd like?" Neil asked.

Max shrugged. "I think I saw a dragon statue that looked kind of cool once."

"Aww, the one with the red eyes?" Neil asked. "But I was thinking about buying that for Harrison..."

"Then I'll get the one with green eyes, I don't fucking care," Max said. "I just want a dragon statue for my room."

"Fine," Neil said. "Employee discount, but only once. My boss will ride my ass if I let others use it too often."

"Pick your poison, then," Max said.

Neil thought hard for a moment. "I'd go with Preston, but only with the addition that if he does come, he'll have at least one article of clothing covered in glitter."

Max snorted. "He's probably got one of those stupid theater kid hats, too. You know, like the ones the guy in High School Musical wore?"

"You watched High School Musical?" Neil asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Who didn't?" Max said. "We all had our phases."

"Fair enough."

"Fine. You choose High School Musical and I choose Space Case," Max said. "What should we do if they both show up?"

Neil tapped his chin. "Then you owe me a favor and I'll buy you that dragon statue?"

"...Yeah, alright. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Hello, boys!"

Max jumped at the sudden burst of magical energy behind them and spun around to see Harrison standing there. "Can't you just walk across the yard like a normal fucking person if you need something?!"

"Hey, I just perfected this spell and I intend to use it as often as possible," Harrison said proudly.

Neil let out a chuckle and crossed his arms. "And I suppose asking you how you did it is out of the question, huh?"

"You know what my answer's going to be," Harrison said with a smirk.

"'It's magic' isn't an answer and you know it, babe."

"Well, it's all you're going to get," Harrison said, as he gently booped Neil's nose.

"For now," Neil said, his smile widening. "But we'll see later."

"Ugh, can you two put a pause on your flirting and help me finish setting up?" Max asked, making a face. "People are going to be here soon."

Not taking his eyes off Neil, Harrison pulled his wand from his sleeve and, after a quick flick of his wrist, the remaining tablecloths slid into place. "There, done."

Max cast him a glare. "You couldn't have done that sooner and saved us the time?"

"Oh, Max, you can't just use magic to solve all your problems," Harrison said. "Plus, there was a fifty-fifty chance that it wouldn't work and the remaining tablecloths would've simply caught on fire. I just got lucky."

"Yeah, of course you did," Max said, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, was there a reason you came over here, other than to flirt?"

"Well, yes and no," Harrison said. "You see, I need help with unfolding chairs, and Nikki and Nerris are busy with the food area—"

"-and you want Neil to be the one to help you, right?" Max finished for him.

"If he's no longer needed over here, that is," Harrison said.

Max looked towards Neil, who gave a pleading look in return. "Yeah, yeah, go be romantic before people start showing up. I owe you for finishing up my part of the decorating, anyway."

Neil smiled and took Harrison's hand, before the two of them hurried off towards the other end of the yard. Max shook his head as he watched them go. He hadn't quite wrapped his mind around the idea of the two of them yet; it felt like only yesterday they were at each other's throats while he was busy throwing up half the items in Harrison's magic kit.

But he couldn't help but smile at the tender look on his best friend's face as the two of them shared a hushed conversation.

"Finished setting up over here?"

His smile disappeared as he turned to see David approaching him. "Tables are done, the girls have the food covered, and Neil and Harrison are finishing up the chairs. All that's left to do is wait for the criers."

"Good to hear it." David smiled fondly. "By the way, Max, I know I've said this before, but this was a wonderful idea."

Max looked towards the ground. "Yeah, yeah, I'm a damn saint. Don't tell anyone though, I got a reputation to uphold."

"I mean it, Max," David said, as he reached over to ruffle Max's hair with a fond expression. "I mean, a memorial service where we invite all the old campers and counselors? That's such a nice way to help everyone mourn. How on earth did you come up with such a clever idea so quickly?"

Max grew tense. And there were the questions from David. "I just...did, alright?" he said in the most casual voice he could muster. "It's not my fault I better at coming up with ideas on the spot than a thirty-year-old man."

David chuckled. "Max, I'm twenty-nine."

"Close enough," Max said, pushing his hand away. "And stop touching my hair, I want to look nice for this fucking thing!"

"Oh my God, it's like I went back in time."

Both Max and David turned to see a woman standing behind them, her red hair tied back in a pigtail and a tired smile on her face. David's eyes lit up and he stepped closer to her, his arms open as if he wanted to give her a hug. "Gwen! You made it!"

"Holy shit, it is Gwen," Max said in disbelief. "The Hell's she doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, kid," she said, as she accepted David's request for a hug. "And it's especially nice to see you again, David. How long's it been?"

"About five months," David said. "And two weeks. But who's counting?"

Gwen let out a laugh. "Clearly not you. Whatcha been up to in five months?"

"I finally became an official foster parent," he said proudly.

"Yeah, I heard about that!" Gwen's smile widened as her gaze dropped to Max. "And I see you weren't kidding about fostering the little terror of Camp Campbell himself."

"Haha, why don't you talk about something actually funny," Max said, grateful to switch the subject before David could question him further. "Like what I assume you've been doing since camp, which is to say, nothing of significance."

"Max," David said sternly. "Don't be rude."

"...Sorry. Old habit."

Gwen chuckled as she let go of David. "You still making David's life miserable, kiddo?"

"As far as you know," Max said.

"Come on, Gwen, he's a good kid," David said with a fond smile. "In fact, this entire thing was his idea!"

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Really now?"

Max crossed his arms. "I told you not to go bragging about it, David."

"But how could I not?" David said cheerfully. "It's a wonderful idea!"

"So you've said..."

Gwen's smile widened and she pressed a hand to her cheek as she stared at the two of them. "God, looking at you two interact really is a blast from the past. It's like I'm back at camp."

"Yeah, yeah, maybe your dreams of a time-travelling doctor finally came true," Max said sarcastically.

Gwen chuckled. "Aww, you remembered. You do care."

"So what the hell are you doing here anyway?" Max asked. "Didn't you hate the camp?"

"Didn't you?" Gwen said.

"I live here," Max pointed out. "That's my excuse. What's yours?"

Gwen shrugged. "Look, it's been over five years. That's more than enough time to make me less angry about wasting my summer there, and more willing to laugh about it at parties." She nudged David playfully. "Plus, I wasn't about to pass up the chance to see my old co-counselor pal again, even if it was at a damn funeral of all places."

David's smile softened. "Well, I'm glad you could make it. And I'm sure Mr. Campbell would have appreciated it, too."

Gwen gave him a look. "David, the man barely knew my name."

"...Well, I appreciate it."

Gwen smiled again. "Yeah, well, you're just lucky I care so much about you, you big goof."

The two of them fell silent for a moment, not taking their eyes off each other as the other kids approached the group. "David, we finished setting everything up!" Nerris said.

"Hey, is that Gwen?!" Nikki asked excitedly. "Hi, Gwen! Nice to see you still kicking!"

"What, did you think she'd be dead, too?" Max asked.

"Yeah, but for a completely different reason than David," Nikki said. "With David, I just figured he'd get hit by a truck or something. But I always thought Gwen would get an unwinnable fight with another person who loves those trashy novels."

"'Fight to the death', not 'an unwinnable fight', Nikki," Neil corrected her.

"Unwinnable fight!" Nikki said stubbornly.

"Yeah, unwinnable fight!" Nerris added. "Like when you try to use physical attacks against a being that can only be defeated by magical attacks. Nothing good's going to come out of that!"

"You could always just run away from the being and save your spell slots," Harrison pointed out.

"Uh, but what if you're trying to level up, smart-ass?" Nerris asked. "What then?"

Gwen couldn't hold back a laugh. "Oh, my God, none of them have changed a bit. We really are back at camp!"

"Isn't it great?" David said with a laugh of his own.

Gwen's smile widened. "You know what? It is kind of nice seeing everyone again, honestly."

"So you do have a soft spot for the camp!" David said, with a playful nudge to her arm. "Is it enough to make you consider being a counselor again?"

"Haha, you wish," she said. "Never again, pal. But...there's definitely something there."

David continued to smile for a moment, before the corners of his mouth slowly fell into a sad frown and he reached up to wipe away the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Her own eyes now wide, Gwen stepped closer to comfort him as the tears finally began to roll down his face. "Hey, come on, it's alright."

"I'm sorry," David said, sniffling. "I was trying to wait until everyone else got here to cry. But I just...I'm sad but I'm so happy. You're here, and the kids have just...been so helpful today..."

"Let it all out, pal," Gwen said, pulling him into another hug. "You cry as much as you need to today."

You cry as much as you need to...

Max bit his lip as he noticed Neil giving him a look from his spot beside Harrison. He turned back to the nearest table and attempted to distract himself with the already-smooth tablecloth, while he heard David cry behind him.

You cry as much as you need to...

Max thought back to the last time he had cried over his parents. The anniversary of their death. The worst day of his life for a number of reasons.

You cry as much as you need to...

Once again, he found himself instinctively touching his left arm. The last time he had cried, really cried, had been during his time in the hospital. No family or parents to comfort him, no idea what would happen to him next. Just him in a lonely hospital room while the doctors were gone and his social worker was busy finding him a new family.

You cry as much as you need to...

David would get the opportunity to cry today. He'd be able to mourn in peace without worrying about anything or anyone else, surrounded by people who could cry with him.

And no matter what shitty, intrusive thoughts plagued his mind today, Max wasn't about to take that away from him.

--------------------

It was not long before others started pouring into the backyard after Gwen, and the somber atmosphere that accompanied them did nothing to help Max's already-low mood.

Most of them were adults, some a little older than David while others looked to be around their late teens or early twenties. A lot of them were hugging, crying, supporting each other as they gathered around the memorial shrine for Campbell, which David had set up with great care. Some were actually laughing as they reconnected with old friends from summers ago. All of them were dressed in black, which was one thing Max could appreciate about such an occasion. Ninety percent of his wardrobe would be appropriate to wear today.

He hadn't seen any of the kids from his summer, outside of the ones who were already there. But they had disappeared among the crowd to do God-knows-what, which unfortunately left Max alone with his thoughts.

There were so many people here to mourn Campbell. Max couldn't help but wonder if, had his own parents been given a funeral or service, this many people would have shown up to theirs. Sure, they had had friends and coworkers, but how many of them would have been torn up over their deaths. How many had actually been torn up and Max never got a chance to know?

He shook his head and tried desperately to force those thoughts right back to the farthest corner of his mind where they belonged as he looked around for David. He spotted him among a group of people who had gathered in the far corner of the yard, away from the rest of the crowd.

It was a decent-sized group, about ten people. All of them were crying and hugging one another though conversations that Max could not hear. And while most of them appeared to be more or less the same age as David, there was a man and a woman who were clearly much older then any of them, a soft, almost comforting look on their faces as they stared at the younger adults.

A look so similar to the one David had often given to the kids back when he was a counselor.

...His counselors.

They were his counselors.

More than just his counselors, that was David's entire group from his time as a camper. Or...at least one of them. There was no way David had only attended camp for a single summer.

The older woman had such a wide, bubbly smile on her face despite the tears in her eyes and she was waving her hands wildly and passionately as if she was telling an incredibly story. The man was also smiling with tear-filled eyes, and would occasionally reach over to ruffle David's hair (Max scowled as his hand instinctively traveled up to his own hair) as if he was ten years old again, a motion that would make David both laugh and cry.

David was so happy today. Well, not happy. Obviously he was sad, but he was allowed to be sad with other people around him to help ease the pain. He was allowed to cry, he was allowed to mourn...

Max crossed his arms and let them rest on the table before him. He wanted that chance. He wanted to cry so badly. He wanted to be able to mourn his parents properly. It was a memorial service; he could just cry and no one would know that his tears weren't reserved for Campbell.

But David would see him crying, and would want to comfort him. And with comfort would come questions, and Max didn't trust himself to keep the real reasons behind his tears to himself if David decided to pry. And there would go David's chance to spend the day focusing on Campbell. His chance to grieve. His chance to get everything Max hadn't gotten.

Max had to keep his feelings to himself, at least until the service was over. He was a master at repressing his stupid, annoying feelings when necessary. Okay, maybe not a master, but he had definitely gotten better at it after his year of hell.

...Okay, so that wasn't necessarily true, either.

Well, regardless, he would have to at least try for David's sake.

"Mwack."

He felt something nudge his leg beneath the table, and he lifted the tablecloth to investigate. A familiar brown lump of fur with an even-more-familiar orange bill was staring up at him from the grass.

Max felt his troubling thoughts melt away for a moment as he reached down to scratch the platypus's head. "Hey, I remember you," he said fondly. "The hell are you doing here, you little abomination-of-nature?"

The platypus nudged his hand sweetly. "Mwack."

Max couldn't help but smile at this motion. "Well, you got affectionate with age, didn't you? No more biting or hamster-eating?"

Another nuzzle. "Mwack."

"Dee? Did you check under that table?"

"No luck."

"Aww, well, we'll keep looking! He couldn't have gotten far."

Max looked up to see two other kids looking beneath nearby tables, as if they were searching for something. "Hey, you two looking for a platypus?" he asked, rising up from his chair. "He's under this one."

Both looked up from their search and the taller child's eyes widened excitedly. "Max! You're here, too?!"

"...Wait, Space Kid?"

"Oh, right, you guys never did get my name right, huh?" The child asked with a laugh as he and the other approached the table. "That's okay, I never liked it much anyway. I've been trying to think of a better name to go by, like Alioth. Or...Vega! Oooh, or Nix! That's a satellite of Pluto. By the way, Pluto should totally still be a planet and we as a species was wrong to take its planetary status away!" He let out another laugh. "But hey, you can just keep calling me Space Kid if you want to! I mean, if the space boot fits, am I right?"

Well, Max called that one. And now that he got a good look at Space Kid, it was more than obvious that he was the little space-loving weirdo from camp. He had grown a bit both in height and weight, and his shaggy brown hair now hung down over his eyes, but it was definitely him. And Max had a feeling that, had this not been a memorial service, he probably would have worn an outfit completely dedicated to space. Hell, Max would have felt safe in betting on the idea of him showing up in a full-on astronaut suit if he had been given a choice in the matter.

The other kid seemed to linger closer to Space Kid, his eyes cast down at the grass below and a yellow beanie with a star on the front atop his head. He pointed towards the bottom of the tablecloth, where the platypus had stuck out its bill. "Found him."

"Hey, there you are!" Space Kid said cheerfully as he bent down to pick him up. "Silly Mwack, always wandering off by yourself! That's how we almost lost you at the observatory!"

"I can't believe the little fucker's still alive," Max said. "How'd he end up with you, anyway?"

"Oh, he snuck into my backpack before we left camp," Space Kid explained. "So I decided to keep him! Mom made me take him to the vet and get him de-poisoned, just to be safe, and we did a ton of research on platypi just so we knew how to take care of him! Did you know platypi can actually live to be about seventeen in captivity? I didn't, but I do now! Or that female platypi sweat milk! Well, not sweat, but-"

Max wasn't paying much attention to Space Kid's overenthusiastic platypus facts. He eyes were still on the kid at his left, who was was keeping his gaze down and rubbing his hands together nervously. His posture seemed reserved and scared, like he really didn't want to be there. Something about him seemed so familiar to Max, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"-and that's why Dee and I want to see if we convince NASA to let Mwack be the first platypus in space," Space Kid finished.

Dee? Wait a minute...

"...Dolph?" Max asked aloud.

The boy seemed to flinch at this name and Space Kid wrapped his platypus-free arm around him in a comforting fashion. "His name is Dee," he said defensively.

"Oh, uh, sorry..." Max said. "But... it is him, right?"

Dee nodded. "It's me..."

Max eyed him again. "I'm surprised to see you, you know, not dressed completely like-"

"Hitler?" Dee finished in a guilty voice.

"...So you did know?"

"No, I didn't!" Dee said, finally looking up. "I mean...I did, but I didn't...I-I shouldn't have..." He hung his head again. "Do you ever look back on...how you used to act? Or how your parents raised you? And just kind of...realize it wasn't...great?"

"...Oh."

"Yeah..." Dee said sadly. "I was...awful. I did lots of things that made people uncomfortable. It wasn't right. I know that now."

"So, when'd you catch on?" Max asked.

"It's been happening for a while..." Dee said. "But I... I don't want to be like my parents. They're...they're bad people, and I don't want to be bad, too."

"And I'm helping him not be bad!" Space Kid said cheerfully, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "So... be good!"

Dee looked up at him fondly. "He's helping."

"Well, damn, good for you, dude," Max said. "Because no offense, but you really were kind of horrible. And by kind of, I mean... You were really horrible. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, dude, it wasn't cool."

"I know..." Dee said. "I was kind of scared to come today. But I...wanted to say I was sorry to everyone I could. I already talked to David—"

"-and he forgave you almost instantly, right?" Max asked.

"I...Well, he said he did," Dee said. "I just hope that was how he really felt. I...I want people to be honest if they can't forgive me."

"Well, knowing David, I'm sure he not only forgave you, but he probably also promised you a bed in the guest room if you ever needed to get away from your shitty parents, right?" Max asked.

Dee nodded. "He did say that, only without the swearing."

"Yeah, of course he did," Max said. "Well, hey, if worst comes to worst, at least you won't be the only kid in the house."

"What do you mean?" Dee asked.

"I mean, I live here, too," Max pointed out. "David's fostering me."

"David's your dad?!" Space Kid asked excitedly.

Max scowled. "Foster dad."

"That's so neat!" Space Kid said, while Dee's eyes widened excitedly. "I wish I could have David for a dad! My real dad left a while ago, and Mom says he's probably not coming back."

"Oh..." Max said, raising his eyebrows. "I'm...sorry, Space Kid."

"No need to be sorry!" Space Kid said, hugging Dee closer. "I got my mom, and Dee, and Mwack! It'd be nice to have my Dad, too, but I'm still happy!"

And Space Kid was still so optimistic and nice. Between that and Dee's determination to be a better person, Max could feel those annoying intrusive thoughts returning. Despite life's hardships, these two were happy. They were bettering themselves, finding the bright side of a terrible situation, not letting life constantly kick their ass despite its numerous attempts.

Why...why couldn't it be that easy for him?

...Okay, the answer was obvious, but the fact that he knew that the answer was obvious only made him feel worse. He knew what he needed to do to stop feeling bad. He knew it was easy. There was literally nothing stopping him from just crossing the yard and telling David that he was having a shitty day.

He looked back at where David was located. Still smiling through his tears, still having a good time despite the heartbreak.

Still grieving.

And it was enough to keep Max frozen where he stood, as he once again tried to push his stupid thoughts to the back of his mind.

"Max, you gotta come see Nikki and Nurf!"

A wave of relief washed over Max as the sound of Nerris's voice shattered his train-of-thought and he saw Dee move closer to Space Kid as she approached the table in an excited panic. "They've been arm-wrestling for about five minutes and there hasn't been a winner yet! It's more exciting then when I rolled a Crit-20 and actually scared a dragon away in my last DnD game!"

"Nurf's here, too?" Max asked. "Oh, God, I'd better go with you just so I can make sure he doesn't try to stab Nikki." A pause. "Then again, she'd probably stab him back...Yeah, I really should go with you. Lead the way, Critical Role."

"Very funny, Max," Nerris said. "But you know I'm more of an Adventure Zone fan."

"Of course, how could I forget your crush on Magnus Sideburns?"

"Burnsides, Max! And can you blame me?!" She crossed her arms. "I'm just saying, Julia was a lucky lady!"

"Whatever, just lead the way."

Nerris laughed and gestured for him to follow, and Space Kid and Dee trailed behind him as they pushed through the crowd and headed for another table.

"YES! EAT IT, BITCH!"

Max heard Nikki's cry of victory before the table where she, a probably-seventeen-by-now Nurf, and the other kids came into view. And it wasn't just Neil and Harrison; Max could see Ered and Preston had joined the group as well.

Ered was taller than she had been at camp, and her hairstyle was almost identical to Nikki's, though still blonde with her trademark purple stripes. She had traded her old jacket for a black, leather one and was still rocking a pair of torn jeans and boots (Max couldn't deny that she definitely had style). Preston, on the other hand, looked pretty much how both Neil and Max had expected him to look (Max could see Neil giving him a knowing smirk and a subtle gesture towards the glittery, black hat atop Preston's head) and it was not a surprise that he seemed to be furious for an unknown reason.

Nerris let out a noise of unhappiness. "Aww, did I miss it?"

"Yeah, and I rocked!" Nikki said proudly.

"Gotta admit, shrimp, you've bulked up since camp," Nurf said, flexing his hand. "Though that's not a surprise, you were always one of the more athletic kids of the group."

"And you put up a good fight, my man," Nikki said with a wide smile. "What was it you said you started doing, kick-boxing?"

"It was my therapist's idea," Nurf explained. "Said it would help me unleash a lot of my violent tendencies in a safe-and-controlled environment. I haven't been arrested in three months, so I'd say it's successful so far, but every case is different and results tend to be varied so we'll see what happens."

"Well, clearly you're not unleashing ENOUGH of those tendencies!" Preston said angrily. "Now I've lost five bucks!"

"Heh, pay up, theater kid," Ered said, her hand out.

Grumbling, Preston fished the bill out of his pocket and slapped it down on her palm. "Well, I've learned my lesson. Save the gambling for fights between Hamilton fans and Heathers fans. It's a safe bet; Heathers fans usually go for biting and hair-pulling while Hamilton fans are total pussies."

"You would know that," Max spoke up.

Preston narrowed his eyes at Max. "What are you doing here? Never expected to see you at a funeral for Campbell."

"One, it's a memorial service, not a funeral," Max said. "Two, the same could be said for you, Nurf, and maybe Ered."

Ered shrugged. "I heard there was free food and I had nothing better to do. Plus, it's one of the few places I can wear this outfit and old people won't look at me like I'm the devil or something."

"I feel that," Max said with a nod.

"I originally had a kickboxing match today, but it got postponed so I figured it'd be better than going home," Nurf explained. "Actually, I was telling Nikki about it and that's why she wanted to arm wrestle."

"And like hell I'm missing out on an opportunity to grace people with my presence!" Preston said dramatically. "Even if it's the likes of you heathens and your inability to recognize fine writing."

Max raised an eyebrow. "Last time I checked, you couldn't recognize it either. I mean, we all saw that play of yours back in the day."

Preston let out an offended scoff. "I see you haven't changed a bit since camp. Still the same, rude kid after all this time."

For some bizarre reason, Max felt a twinge of anger at this comment. It was one thing when Neil or Nikki playfully insulted him. But he hadn't seen Preston in years and the two of them hadn't exactly been friends. "Whatever, Preston, like you're any better."

"Well, someone's in a bad mood," Preston said defensively. "Again, a surprise to no one."

It was just a stupid comment. Max knew it was a stupid comment, and it shouldn't have bothered him. If he got mad every time some idiot insulted him, he would just be miserable all the fucking time.

...Well, moreso than usual.

It was fine. He was fine. Or at the very least, he could pretend he was fine and not get annoyed at something he would normally either shrug off or respond to with a much better comment.

"So, why are you here anyway?" Preston asked. "I couldn't help but notice you avoided answering that question."

Of course he'd caught that. Why the fuck wouldn't he? "I'm...here to pay my respects for Campbell," he said calmly. "Is that a fucking crime, Preston?"

Preston scoffed. "Oh, really? You, the kid who hated the camp more than any of us, is here to pay respects for the bastard? Why don't I believe that?"

"You don't have to," Max said. "It doesn't affect me either way."

"You know what I think?" Preston said. "I think you're here to pull some kind of prank on David. Come on, fess up, we all know you wouldn't come to this thing willingly."

That was a...fair assumption for someone who hadn't seen Max since camp to make. There was no need to feel offended by that assumption at all, despite the fact that he had spent most of the past week thinking about nothing but trying to make today special for David because of what had happened with his own folks. How the fuck was Preston supposed to know that? He wasn't, so there was no need to be mad.

And yet Max was clenching his fists so tightly, his palms were started to hurt from how hard his fingernails were digging into them. "I told you, Preston. I just...wanted to pay my respects."

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked over to see Neil and Nikki beside him. "Hey, Max, can Nikki and I talk to you for a moment alone?"

Max nodded quickly and followed them towards the shed that lay on the edge of the yard. "God, thanks, guys. He was starting to piss me off."

"I know," Neil said, as he lead the two of them inside and shut the door behind them. "It's why we wanted to talk to you."

"Plan M! Plan M!" Nikki said excitedly.

Max gave her a confused look. "Plan M?"

"That's not what it's called, Nikki," Neil said, crossing his arms.

"Oh, yeah?" Nikki asked. "Then what would you call a plan that involves Max?"

"It doesn't need a name!"

"Guys!" Max said. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Neil sighed. "Okay, so Nikki and I had a plan, a nameless plan, ready in case either of us saw that you were having a hard time today."

"Neil told me about what you two talked about last week," Nikki said, and gave Max a look of sympathy. "And we saw how you tensed up earlier when Gwen got here."

Max sighed. "Oh, great. So I'm that easy to read? Fine, whatever, what's the plan?"

Neil and Nikki exchanged a look. "Okay, so you don't want to talk to David, right?" Nikki asked.

"It's not that I don't want to," Max said. "It's that I can't."

"Why not?" Nikki asked. "It'd be so easy! He's just right across the yard, I can go get him for you-"

"If Neil explained everything to you, then you should already know why I can't," Max said, crossing his arms.

"What Nikki means is," Neil said. "Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to talk to him if you had some help from us. We could just tell David that—"

Max sighed irritably and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Guys, look. I really appreciate you trying to help, I do. But you both know why I can't talk to him until the service is over. And you two just ignoring all that and telling me 'oh, just go talk to him' makes me feel like you're not listening to anything I'm saying!"

Nikki gave him a sad look. "We are listening, Max. But you know David would want to know if you needed to talk—"

"I know, okay?!" he said, a little more aggressively than intended. "I know he'd want me to go to him for help! I know he'd listen! I fucking know! Do you two really think I'm such a fucking idiot that I wouldn't know that?!"

Neil and Nikki stared at him with a look of shock, one that almost made him feel guilty. Almost. "I'm not talking to him until after the service is done! I don't care if it fucking kills me, he's not going to spend today dealing with my bullshit!"

Neil placed a hand on his shoulder. "Max—"

Max didn't stick around to hear the rest of the conversation. He pushed Neil's hand away and stormed out of the shed, back towards where the rest of the campers from their summer had gathered.

"-yeah, my dad left, too," Ered was saying to Space Kid as Max approached. "But who needs deadbeats, right? Moms are the real heroes."

"Well, I mean, I'd like to see mine again," Space Kid said in return. "But yeah, my mom's cool!"

"Ugh, I'd give anything not to ever see my mother again!" Preston said. "That fucking bitch didn't even have the decency to show up at my theater trope's third performance of Phantom of the Opera! She was too busy 'working'. Excuses! That particular performance was one of my top five!"

It shouldn't have bothered him. Kids were allowed to hate their parents; sometimes it was completely understandable. Dee had mentioned that his parents had been awful, too, and he hadn't been angry over that. And Space Kid had already mentioned that his dad was a deadbeat.

So why the fuck was he so angry, now? What the Hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just calm down?!

"What about you, Max?" Preston asked. "Got any horror stories about your folks?"

God damn it. God damn it. "Yeah, I got a horror story for you. It's called 'my folks are fucking dead'!"

The group fell silent, all eyes now on Max. "I...Oh," Preston said slowly.

"Yeah, Preston, oh," Max said, his voice rising. "They died in a fire about a year ago and I've had to bounce around from foster home to foster home since then. But I guess your mom not coming to a performance she's probably seen a million times is pretty fucking terrible, too. I feel so sorry for you."

"Max," Neil said firmly from behind him. "I know you don't want to, but you need to go talk to David now-"

"I told you I can't, Neil!" Max spun around to face him as angry tears began to form at the corner of his eyes. Great, now he was fucking crying. "Why doesn't anybody fucking get that I can't?!"

"Max—"

"You think I don't realize how fucking stupid I'm being by not talking to him?" Max continued, the tears finally rolling down his face. "That I haven't spent all day wishing I could just drag my sorry ass across the yard and tell him 'hey, I'm fucking depressed as shit, can you please help me like you always do, because you're a good fucking person who would stop everything just to help me with my problems but just because you would doesn't mean you should, especially when you're mourning the death of someone super fucking important to you?! Because I know that not being able to do that fucking sucks and I may be a prick to you ninety-nine percent of the time but I'm not about to take that chance away from you?!'"

"Max?"

Max froze at the sound of someone else saying his name and slowly turned to see David staring at him, a camera in his hand and a look of utter shock on his face. "I...saw all of you together, and I thought—"

Max didn't stick around to hear David finish his sentence. Scrubbing the tears from his face, he turned and raced for the house as fast he could. He didn't look around at the other guests who were probably staring at him now, he didn't stop as someone behind him (was that Nikki? Was it David again? He didn't care) called his name. He just pried open the back door, raced towards the stairs and stormed up to his room.

He slammed the door shut behind him and slid down to the floor as he finally let the tears fall. He'd fucked it up. Of course he'd fucked it up. He'd yelled at his friends, he'd ruined the service for David... Why did he expect anything else to happen? Why did he just listen to Neil or Nikki and go talk to David? Of course he should have talked to David.

Why was he so...stupid?

God damn it.