#somehow this is Reagans fault | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mariacallous · 1 year ago

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The past few weeks have seen an outpouring of both grief and tributes following the death of Russian opposition figure Alexei Navalny. And rightfully so. Navalny’s death in a Siberian gulag effectively snuffed out what many viewed as the clearest path to Russia’s eventual democratization.

No one had fooled themselves that Navalny would, somehow, win Russia’s upcoming election, with President Vladimir Putin’s reelection all but confirmed. But there were plenty, especially in the West, who still viewed Navalny as a figure akin to Nelson Mandela, emerging from a lengthy prison tenure to lead his nation into a bright, democratic future. Now, that dream is dead. And any potential for Russia’s eventual democratization appears even more distant, and even less likely.

But while Russia’s remaining opposition continues to look for new strategies to employ in the wake of Navalny’s death, one clear lesson has hopefully emerged for those in West. It is too risky to place all hopes of a nation’s eventual democratization on a single person.

It’s not just that a singular figure can, as seen with Navalny, be killed. It’s also that for as much bravery as Navalny exhibited—and, to be clear, Navalny illustrated more bravery than most people will ever know—there were clear faults and frailties within his politics. While Navalny arguably proved to be Putin’s most able political opponent, he also shared many of the same revanchist tendencies that propelled Russia into Ukraine in the first place—a reality that far too many in the West preferred to ignore or downplay.

But it is a reality that can no longer be overlooked. After all, if it is Russian nationalism that has unleashed Europe’s most destructive conflict since the Second World War—and pushed the world closer to potential nuclear conflict than anything in decades—then anyone exhibiting these tendencies, as Navalny did for years, must be treated cautiously. And if the clearest lesson to emerge from Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is that Western interlocutors need to listen more—far, far more—to warnings and analysis from former Russian colonies, then it’s long past time to listen to what Ukrainians have been saying about Navalny and other leading lights of Russia’s anti-Putin opposition.

All of which points to one clear takeaway from the past few weeks: With Navalny’s death, the time has come for the West to move beyond the idea that some Mandela-type figure will emerge in Russia. Instead of placing its hopes in a singular future leader, the West will be far better served by facing the threats of Russian irredentism head-on, and finally focusing on eliminating Russian nationalism as a political force, once and for all.

Ironically, the West’s willingness to place all hopes on a single, conspicuous figure in Moscow—while turning the other way when that figure’s imperialistic tendencies came to the fore—hardly began with Navalny. Such a phenomenon can be tracked all the way back to the late Soviet Union, when the administrations of both former Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush tacked hard toward supporting Mikhail Gorbachev and his domestic reforms.

Of course, Gorbachev’s policy portfolio, including achievements such as glasnost (or “openness,” which referred to increased transparency and the loosening of state censorship), was a sight better than that of any of his predecessors. But when Gorbachev’s forces slaughtered anti-regime protesters in places such as Kazakhstan, Georgia, and Lithuania, the West hardly blinked, embracing Gorbachev ever closer—and blinding the West to the anti-colonial movements emerging across the Soviet Union. Those movements, which the United States actively tried to tamp down, eventually toppled the Soviet empire entirely, catching Washington flat-footed and leaving Gorbachev as a man without a country.

Under the Clinton administration, Washington followed the Soviet collapse by heaving its hopes for Russian democratization onto newly elected President Boris Yeltsin. And understandably so; Yeltsin was, amidst the Soviet rubble, the clear leader of the emerging Russian Federation, and a man who at least gestured rhetorically toward democratic aspirations.

But then, in just his first term, Yeltsin’s authoritarian nationalism roared to the fore. Not only did he shell parliament and implement the super-presidential system that Putin later inherited, but Yeltsin also refused to remove Russian troops from eastern Moldova and oversaw armed interference efforts in northern Georgia—all while he threatened to redraw Russia’s borders with both Ukraine and Kazakhstan if the former colonies didn’t follow Moscow’s writ. And most notoriously, after Chechens voted for independence from Moscow, Yeltsin launched a devastating campaign in 1994 to crush Chechen separatists—an invasion that he and Putin would reprise again toward the end of the decade, leaving hundreds of thousands dead.

All the while, U.S. officials’ criticism of Yeltsin was effectively nonexistent. As one academic analysis of the era summed up, the “Clinton administration saw no alternatives to Yeltsin and was prepared to support him no matter what.”

To be sure, there are yawning differences between Navalny and these predecessors, not least the fact that Navalny never came anywhere close to power. Yet there were unsettling similarities between them, which the West continually played down—but which those in both current and former Russian colonies alike readily recognized.

Navalny, for instance, was a clear Russian nationalist. Not only did he back Moscow’s invasion of Georgia in 2008, describing Georgians as “rodents,” but he also used additional ethnic slurs to describe others from the Caucasus. He further framed himself as someone who would remove “non-White immigrants from Central Asia and the Caucasus by ruthlessly deporting them,” as journalist Terrell Jermaine Starr wrote in 2021.

Most notoriously, Navalny spent years not only refusing to condemn Moscow’s initial invasion of Ukraine in 2014, but then dodging questions about whether Russia should return the Ukrainian region of Crimea to Kyiv’s control. Even if elected president, he said in 2014, he’d still retain Moscow’s control of Crimea. It was only in 2023, nearly a decade after the Kremlin first barreled into Ukraine, that Navalny called for a restoration of Ukraine’s circa-1991 borders.

That shift was, of course, welcome. But the fact that it took a crushing war—one in which the Kremlin has spilled more blood and treasure than anything that Moscow’s been involved in in nearly 80 years—was a testament to how ingrained such revanchist views still are, not only in Navalny but even among his supporters. And the fact that so many in the West willingly overlooked such retrograde views is hardly a testament to Western policymakers’ willingness to wrestle with just how deep Russian nationalism truly runs.

But that was then. With Navalny’s death, an opportunity has opened for the West to finally move beyond the idea that a particular political figure, even amid the Russian opposition, can lead Moscow out of its imperialistic delusions and into a democratic future. It is a tragedy that it’s taken Navalny’s death to open this possibility—but it is a possibility that the West cannot afford to pass by yet again.

Put another way: There is no Russian Mandela coming. And if we continue to refuse to tackle the issues of Russian nationalism head-on—even among those who are opposed to Putin—then we risk seeing even a post-Putin Russia return to imperialistic footing, tossing Europe into catastrophe once more.

Which is why, in this post-Navalny world, the West must focus on snuffing out Russian nationalism, wherever it finds it. This means elevating the insights and advice from former Russian colonies, such as those in Kyiv, even more; after all, it is those former colonies that proved more prescient about Russia than policymakers in places such as Washington or Berlin ever were.

This means recognizing Russian irredentism as a phenomenon that extends far beyond even Putin’s base, and one that has far more cachet among the Russian body politic than the West realizes. (As scholar Mark Galeotti recently noted on his podcast, even among parts of the populace opposed to Russia’s expanded invasion in 2022, “pretty much every single Russian, for or against Putin, thinks [Russia’s initial annexation of Crimea in 2014] was okay.”)

And this means, finally, moving beyond the idea that some singular figure will rally Russians to their cause and toss off the yoke and appeal of Russian expansionism once and for all. Not that the West shouldn’t support anti-Putin opposition; so long as Putin remains in power, the war will continue, with the potential for far worse to come.

But whenever Putin leaves office, the West cannot put all of its chips on a single reformer—especially if it means eliding said reformer’s nationalism and ignoring their previous support for Putin’s invasions.

It is a legacy that Navalny may well have been proud of. And it’s a legacy that will, perhaps for the first time, finally lead Western policymakers on the right path—and, at some point, result in the democratic Russia that we all long to see.

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anewbrainjughead · 11 months ago

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somehow this is all ronald reagan's fault

#watching point break #anewbrainjughead

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aceofbooks-creative-anthologies · 8 months ago

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Autumnal Darlings Prompt #23: Movie Night and/or Slasher

autumnal darlings masterlist

I was originally gonna write this from when we were in high school, maybe pre-daisugace, but then, well... the election happened. So this is post-timeskip now. Reminder that this is a platonic selfship.

Background: Ace hasn't been communicating with Tanaka all day. He knows something is wrong, and he also knows just how to cheer up his best friend.

wc: 1824; written in first-person from Ace's POV

Doomscrolling. The act of spending an excessive amount of time reading large quantities of news, particularly negative news, on the web and social media. At least, according to Wikipedia. How does one define excessive exactly? Is it about length of time in one sitting? What if it's one article that's a ten-minute read vs ten that are one minute a piece. What about research dives? Is it still doomscrolling if I'm piecing together historical evidence and scholarly research to show that this is all somehow Reagan's fault?

Being an American overseas has never been easy, as much as Mom would like to argue with me on it. But now the thought of even booking a flight to visit my father for the holidays has my anxiety lighting up like a Christmas tree. It was supposed to be the first time Dad has met Daichi and Koushi in person since my college graduation, but now....

What was even the point of getting that degree anyway? It's not like I'm using it? Stupid fucking housewife, can't do shit—

THUD THUD THUD

The knocking on the front door is hard enough that it rattles my nearly empty glass of water on the bedside table.

I snuggle deeper under the covers. Dai and Kou have keys, so they don't knock. We haven't ordered anything in a while, so no mail deliveries. And no food delivery today either—Dai's on a weird diet to support one of the guys at the station, and Kou and I are suffering alongside.... mostly. (Kou eats lunch at school, so he gets to skip out on five meals a week. I generally don't eat lunch, so I'm out five to seven.)

I start to pull up the security feed on the doorbell, but a phone call comes up instead. "Ryuuuuuuu 😝" shows on the Caller ID, and "You and I" by Anabor starts to play at full volume as his ring tone. Fucker changed his ID again.

"Shitshitshitshit...." I fumble with my phone, trying to decline the call, despite having it directly in my face. Instead, I manage to turn it into a video call.

"Oi!" Ryuunosuke Tanaka is holding his phone at an angle from below, so I'm looking up his nose. But I can see our porch light above him. "Open the door! Need proof of life! Suga! Daichi! Are you in there?!"

"They're not home." I manage to say. I sniffle, unsure whether I'm about to start crying or if I'm finishing up. My cheeks haven't been dry for hours, my nose is raw, and my eyes sting.

"Where are they?! This is probably one of the scariest days of your life! Outside of, y'know, breaking up with that shithole ex of yours and the subsequent six months because his dad was connected to the mob, but still!" I can hear shuffling, like he's adjusting his grip on something he's holding in his hands.

"Ryuuuu," I whine, really not wanting to think about Johsei right now. He still waltzes through my nightmares at least twice a month.

"Where's the damn key?" He takes his phone and puts it between his shoulder and ear, so now I'm getting a really good look at his ear canal. I can hear the jingling of his key ring. "I'm going to lose this pizza if I have to keep fumbling around y'know."

The word "pizza" gets my attention. "Did you get it from that place on third?" I poke my head out from under the covers, but don't commit to getting out of bed yet.

"No, I got it from the place over on fifty-second—of course I got it from third! It's a shitty day, you want shitty pizza. I have Kiyo's keys, so can you please come let me in? Your ice cream is melting too."

Instead of responding, I hang up on him. I crawl out from under the covers, slip on my slippers, and briefly consider pulling the big fluffy comforter off the bed, before picking Koushi's college alumni sweatshirt up off the floor and pulling it over my head instead.

I have to turn on the lights as I make my way through our house. Usually they'd be on by now, I hate having a dark home, but I haven't made it out of the master bedroom suite yet today. I had pulled on Daichi's sweatpants before going to the bathroom first thing, and made the mistake of checking my phone. I went back to bed.

Ryuu is waiting on the other side of the door when I open it. He has the biggest, dopiest grin plastered on his face, two large pizzas and a half gallon of strawberry ice cream balanced in one hand, his backpack slung over one shoulder, and his phone and keys in the other hand. He's still wearing the polo and sweats that his gym has instituted as a "uniform".

I squint into the sunlight, and realize I haven't been wearing my glasses all day. "Did you bail on work?"

"My last two clients for the day are Americans on business trips, so they cancelled on me. Where's Daichi and Suga?"

"Kou has a staff meeting and is going out for dinner after, and Dai was on call and has been at a structure fire since...." I make a point of looking at an imaginary watch on my wrist. "Before I woke up at ten."

"Right. And your glasses are....?" Ryu raises the pizzas over my head and shoulders past me through the doorway, kicks off his slides, and making his way to the kitchen.

"Not totally sure." I close the door and follow him to the kitchen, where he's already put the ice cream away and is pulling plates out of the cabinet.

"Have you taken your meds?" Now he's searching a different cabinet, moving cups around.

"No. And it's too late for me to take them." I open one of the boxes of pizza. The crust is as thin as paper, the sauce is leaking over the sides, the cheese is burnt in places, and the pepperoni (real pepperoni!) has grease pooling like an acne-ridden teenager. Shitty American pizza for a shitty day in America.

"No cat videos AND no meds? I have my work cut out for me." He puts a full glass of water in my field of vision, and I know better than to argue with him, so I drink it down all in one go.

"So, movie night. I grabbed a whole bunch of dollar bin movies from the video store by the gym. What's your flavor of punishment?" Ryuu fills up my glass of water, hands it back, and then starts pulling open drawers. "If I were Ace at 3 AM last night, probably terrified of what I will see when I wake up, where would I have left my glasses that help me walk in a straight line?"

I pull a slice of pizza out of the box, not bothering with a plate just yet. The moan I let out is unnecessarily euphoric as I take my first bite of food today. It's sloppy and mostly tastes of tomato and oil, but it hits the spot. I finish the slice in three more bites and then grab a second.

Meanwhile, Ryuu has wandered off in search of my glasses. He comes back with them as I'm moving onto my third slice. "On the cat tree in your office?" I shrug my shoulders, mouth full. There usually isn't a rhyme or reason to where I leave them when I go to bed, but especially so last night. This morning? Whatever. Ryuu puts them on my face for me and I push them up my nose with my forearm.

Ryuu hops up to sit on the counter and grabs a slice of pizza for himself. "Do they even know?"

I shake my head. "They knew I was worried last night, but they both went to bed before I did. And Dai was going to stay home with me, but then he got called out to the structure fire. I haven't texted or called either of them because they're both busy."

"Y'know they'd wanna be here."

"And you know that I'm not going to pull them away from their jobs just because I'm having a bad day. Kou is raising the future and Dai is saving lives. The results of the American presidential election is by far less important."

Ryuu raises an eyebrow in disagreement, but doesn't push. He licks his fingers clean and then slides off the counter. He goes to the fridge, where he had dropped his backpack on the floor. "Movie night. What are we watching? Bad plot, bad characters, or bad effects?" He unzips the bag and starts staking movies on the counter, simply based on vibes.

"Bad plot. Those are usually the horror movies, right?" I put two slices of pizza on each plate and move towards the living room, knowing that Ryuu will grab napkins and our drinks. I sink into the couch—Kou would have a fit if we spilled this pizza on the kotatsu. The couch cushion covers can be removed and thrown in the wash, the futon not so much.

Ryuu comes in and sets our drinks on the slim table sitting behind the couch, for that exact purpose. He tosses the napkins at my face, and then moves to the television, DVD in hand. Back to me as he crouches, he says, "This one is one of those blank DVDs that you can burn stuff onto. I can't read the title, though. It's in English, but the handwriting is worse than Kageyama's in high school."

"What the fuck did you buy? What if it's a snuff film?!"

He finishes fussing with the DVD player and TV settings and laughs. "I have more questions about it being in the bargain bin than about it being a snuff film, if it is a snuff film." He comes back to the couch and puts his feet in my lap as he sits. I narrowly manage to lift the plates of pizza out of the way in time.

I hand him his plate and we both settle in as the credits start to play. The Nail Gun Massacre flashes across the screen.

Ryuu and I watch the slasher three times all the way through before Kou gets home.

"Love! I'm home!" Kou calls out, shutting the door; he could hear Ryuu and I laughing from outside.

Kou walks in to the living room as the pool scene starts, and he watches in abject horror. "What are you guys watching?!"

I snort, which makes Ryuu double over in laughter, clutching his stomach and rolling off the couch and onto the second pizza box, thankfully empty, on the floor.

"Inarguably the worst slasher film I've ever seen." I say through hiccups, wiping at my eyes with my sleeve.

#the lovers' library #acanaka #daisugace #special collection: autumnal darlings #divider from cafekitsune

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cherryfairytwist · 1 year ago

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RickFic Ch11. Reunion

(Tags: violence, death, manipulation, vomit, substances, stalking, angst, arguments, torture, embarrassment, electrocution)

—- HELLO —-

—- INITIATING DOWNLOAD SEQUENCE MEMORY CLUSTER #11 —-

—-PULLING UP EARLIEST ASSISTED MEMORY RECORDS —-

—- NARRATION SIMULATING NOW —-

Astrid turned the corner down the hall keeping up pace. Knowing she was running a bit behind schedule, she quickened her step only a little. Still in the stolen uniform of a random Cognito Inc. employee, she shifted back to her normal form once walking into Reagan’s lab. She looked around in silence realizing the room looked as messy as Reagan had always kept it. She sighed feeling uneasy that Reagan was nowhere to be found. She slowly paced around the room looking at different projects Reagan was currently working on. Trying to keep her mind from wandering to the the possibility someone might have caught wind they were meeting, hoping this wasn’t some type of set up.

“Reagan?” Astrid whispered loudly wondering where she might have gone.

Reagan grabbed a paper towel from the bathroom to dry her hands and breathed out another heavy sigh before exiting back towards the lab. Slowing her pace still fighting with the uneasy feeling in her gut.. was it guilt? Was it fear? She couldn’t help but feel as though what happened to Astrid had been her fault. The memories of what happened in Jersey still haunted her even after having ghosted Astrid for so long after.

The team had been sent to Jersey to round up an overpopulation of Jersey Devils that were overrunning the outskirts and forests in the area. They all thought the mission would be a breeze with Astrid on their side but things had taken a turn for the worse. After using her trigger more than several times in the months prior, her programming started to “short circuit” leading to the horrible devastation that had befallen the mission. Similarly to the mole incident, the team had rounded up a flock of the Jersey cryptids for Astrid to exterminate. But while in the forest a part of their plan flunked when a few of the devils had gotten Andre and Myc cornered. They had snuck off to have a smoke break when they should have been assisting. Once cornered, out of panic and fear they both let out Astrid’s trigger word at the same time in hopes of being rescued by her last minute. Once Astrid had cleared them out, both Brett and Gigi tried to say Astrid’s trigger word to stop her kill programming. Due to the team already overusing her trigger for a year and not being her handler it started to mess with her behavior. But that day due to the multiple different commands being given by different people at such frequency it seemed to have become the final straw. Once both teams had gotten a heard of about forty Jersey Devils into a secluded lake area, Astrid’s Handler gave her the kill trigger. At first everything seemed to have been going according to the regular procedure of Astrid mowing down the cryptids. But once the flock had been terminated and she was given her trigger word to stop by her handler, her form and eyes did not change back to normal. Her terrifying destructive behavior proceeded leading to her massacring her own fellow Agency soldiers. The Agency team of ten went to a team of five in a matter of seconds. And things did not stop there, a decent handful of Cognito employees quickly met their demise as well, almost including Glenn and Brett who had been on the ground with the others. In that moment Reagan knew it was the end for them. They all messed around too much with something they had known nothing about. They had finally broken Astrid. The pure horror that happened was still partially blocked out in her mind due to how traumatizing the events were. All she could remember is somehow Astrid’s Handler had to personally fight her leading to him restraining her with some type of collared head piece. It proceeded to send multiple electrical shocks to her brain leaving her fried on the ground and flailing about as if she were having an aneurysm. Reagan remembers she had started crying and shouting at him to stop, not being able to comprehend what was happening due to the shell shock. He looked at her still in a daze with a suspicious glance,

“You knew this could have happened didn’t you..? I know enough about you Ms. Ridley to know you never keep your nose out of affairs that do not concern you. I would have thought you’d been smarter than this. I had my suspicions but to have it end up at this degree...” He said bittersweet while lifting the unconscious Astrid off the ground, black liquid leaking from her nose and eyes.

After that Reagan and the team had received news the following days after returning to Cognito that Astrid had been put on “vacation” and would no longer be assisting Cognito Inc. for the time being. Reagan in disbelief rushed to the guest room wing to try and get answers by seeing Astrid one last time. Once reaching Astrid’s guest room she could see it had been cleared out and completely cleaned, no sign of Astrid having ever been there. Leaving in a hopeless daze she bumped into Astrid’s handler who had been waiting for her in the hall. Startled but determined to get answers she stepped towards him,

“Sir… please. W-what happened to Astrid…? Is she going to be okay?” Her voice cracked trying to hold back her tears.

“I think you know the answer to that Ms. Ridley.” He said starkly.

“Where is she?! What’s going to happen to her!?” Reagan demanded fearing the worst.

“She will be sent back to the Agency headquarters to have her new programming. Hopefully it works. What your little group played with was not a silly game Ms. Ridley. You might have all significantly damaged my agent. Who knows if it will ever be reversible. You are all lucky to still be alive.” He stated with a calm anger.

“I-we- we never meant for it to be like this… please can I see her just so I can apologize-?“ Reagan’s rambling was swiftly cut off by the Handler.

“It did end up like this. And to think most of Cognito actually thought you’d be up to the task of running the organization in the near future is beyond me. You still have so much to learn.” He said annoyed causing Reagan to go completely silent feeling utterly worthless.

“And no. You will not be permitted to see or interact with my agent again. I highly doubt even if we are able to re program her that coming back here would ever be suitable. You compromised my agent. It would be best if you just let this go. You are lucky Cognito values you so highly, if you had pulled something like this at the Agency you would have been terminated.” He hissed at her while gritting his teeth.

Tears rolled down her face as she looked to the floor between the two of them and she swallowed hard, “Sir… I admit fault.. I’m unbelievably burdened by the guilt of this.. please could you tell Astrid I’m so sorry.. I-I- ,” she paused to let out a sob and rub her eyes on her lab coat, “Astrid meant a lot to me.. I’m sorry I was so careless in my handling of the situation I never wanted to do something like this.”

He sighed frustratedly knowing Reagan was being honest, “Ms. Ridley the best thing you can do now for her is to leave her alone. I’m sure she will understand the sentiments you all might have held for her. But don’t hold her back now. Imagine is someone had ripped away your life’s work from you, if someone had jeopardized you from continuing here at Cognito when this has been your dream and father’s legacy for years. Respect her enough to see that. Don’t make this harder on her. I advise you cease any communication or hopes of communication with her in the future.” He said in a softer but still stern tone before turning to leave.

Reagan had relentlessly been heart broken and ashamed of herself after that. She had done as advised and stopped trying to look into or find out anything on Astrid after. This lead to her falling into a deep depression and burying herself in work to attempt and distract herself from the situation entirely. Slowly over time her and her team had dulled themselves to the incident, learning to not bring up the topic anymore. And since then Reagan had tried to go on with the rest of her life having one thing on-top of the next to distract her. When she had come to terms that she’d never hear from Astrid again, she started receiving messages from a new unmarked and unidentified communicator somewhere near Seattle. Since then she had been a nervous wreck hardly believing it was actually Astrid.

She rubbed her face in the hallway in an attempt to clear her head before entering back into her lab. After opening the door she froze in silence at the sight of Astrid standing over her desk casually reading various papers that laid spread out.

“Astrid..!” She quietly breathed in disbelief.

“Reagan..!” Astrid also breathed out after snapping her vision upward towards the door.

They both stood apart in silence searching each other’s gaze for some time wondering what the other was thinking.

“So.. what have I missed since I’ve been gone?” Astrid attempted to joke in a lighter tone.

Immediately Reagan felt a loud laugh leave her anxious body and replied, “oh gosh.. a lot. Uh.. where do I even start..” she murmured while looking down and ruffling her hair.

She peaked back up at Astrid through a couple of stray hairs and tried to relax her shoulders, “So I uh- I was about to start running Cognito a while back because the Robes found out J.R. was embezzling company funds.. but then I found out my dad had actually erased childhood memories of mine in an attempt to keep a foothold in the company by using me as like his super genius Trojan horse.. and so then I tried to kick him out but then the Robes decided I still wasn’t ready to run the place so they- as you can probably guess it- gave that position to my dad..” she trailed off trying to find the words for what she would say next.

“Oh- wow that’s really is a lot…. so that means he’s running Cognito now…?!” Astrid asked in surprise, the only thing she had ever heard about Rand was about him being a bitter drunk that had lived with Reagan after being kicked out of the company.

“A-actually no.. so he also recently got busted and thrown in shadow prison with J.R. after attempting to alter timelines with this machine they had made after their college days… I thought it was so he could gain more power but it turns out he had just been trying to find a timeline in which our family- my mom and I- were still together with him and happy…” she paused a moment to breath.

“Oh…. Uh.. wow that’s heavy...” Astrid attempted to word her sympathies but they both knew their lives were the opposite of anything normal.

“Yeah so.. that happened pretty recently.. I’m still reeling from that and uh.. a recent breakup.. as you can guess it obviously didn’t work out.. he uh… he worked for the Illuminati as a mind eraser.. and he wanted to erase his own mind after all the things he’s been though.. he wanted me to come with him and start a new life but then the Robes offered me the position of running Cognito… I tried to calculate all the possible outcomes of our lives together.. and there was only one option where both of us would have been happy… and that meant neither of us being in each other’s lives.. so that was that..” Reagan winced at her own honesty being spoken aloud.

Astrid stood in silence for a moment taking in all the information and figuring out how she wanted to respond, she wanted to console Reagan but she felt an overwhelmingly bitter tug inside,

“So that’s why you never tried to reach out to me..? You were busy with family, work and a new love life.” She said more starkly than she had anticipated.

“No- Astrid… I had given up on the idea of trying to contact you before any of that happened..” Reagan tried to console the anger she felt coming from her.

“Oh so after I broke I just became a lost cause to you…?” Astrid choked out surprised by her own emotions slipping.

“NO…! Astrid… no.. I- after what we did to you…. What I DID to you… I just realized i didn’t think I could face you after that… I ruined your career… I ruined your life’s work..! I thought I was the professional one but I was actually the one who kept violating your trust and not thinking about healthier boundaries we could have had… I was so immature.. I had you- a literal weapon in my hands and I never thought about keeping the safety on! And then you went off because I didn’t even know how to handle you… I shouldn’t have been handling you… not like that..” She too choked out painfully.

“I mean.. yes I’m a weapon.. but I’m also a person..I thought you saw me as that too. The responsibility was also mine..! Once I had realized you found out my trigger I should have immediately reported to my Handler but I didn’t… I just wanted to keep up what we had going!” Astrid argued back furiously.

“You wouldn’t have even needed to worry about that if I hadn’t gone out of my way to spy on you and found out your trigger when I know I shouldn’t have!” Reagan blurted out letting the frustration and shame out.

A single tear rolled down Reagan’s face as she looked down at the floor. Her fists tightened as she bit down on her lip hard,

“I fucked it all up..! I had treated you like trash when we first met and then i ruined your life! I was too much of a coward to face you after that.. I thought you seeing me again would just be a bad reminder… I really started to think after a while that you might have even grown to hate me so much that you might kill me if we had ever crossed paths again. I was ashamed… but once you reached out.. I just- I felt like I had to risk it.. since you left I haven’t known a day of peace…”She raged in a low tone.

“Reagan… I-“ Astrid attempted to calm her down but was cut short.

“Yes I tried to continue on with my life and distract myself but I couldn’t. I got my dream position, got my father’s shadow off of me, the team finally listens to me and respects me… but I still had no one to share it with.. my ex would have been miserable if I had tried to make him.. but you reached back out and it made me remember how you had always wanted me to run the company.. so I took a risk. I figured you’d either be able to get revenge on me if you had grown to hate me, or maybe I could bring you the offer I had originally promised a long time ago.. that you could run Cognito Inc. with me.” After confessing she looked back up, her tears had stopped but her eyes remained red and now direct.

“Jesus Reagan.. I never hated you..” Astrid stammered from the realization that Reagan too had been just as torn up about the situation as she had felt and still reeling from the sudden offer.

“I thought you were the one that hated me.. after losing control like that.. I mean I know the effects my abilities have on people both physically and… psychologically.. I thought you were terrified of me.. I thought I had traumatized you so bad that you’d never wanted to see me again..” Astrid too now looking at the floor in shame awkwardly shifted in place.

“I mean.. Astrid the whole situation was traumatizing beyond anything I think I’ve ever experienced- but it wasn’t your fault..! You couldn’t help what happened.” Reagan stepped forward to meet her at the desk wanting to console her.

“I had felt so lost after the Agency had attempted to reprogram me.. I have new triggers now but I don’t think they are working that well.. I don’t black out fully like I used to when I get a command.. I sort of remember some of it now.. and I think that’s why the Agency hasn’t put me back in the field yet.. I think they are just waiting for me to break again.. or maybe just keep me out of the way and not cause more issues.. I couldn’t stop thinking about you this whole time either.. I kept wishing I could be back at doing missions- back to doing missions with you..” Astrid confessed now knowing they were on the same page.

“You’re still on “vacation” …? You mean they left you on the shelf..? Are they just letting you do whatever you want or are you still under your handler..?” Reagan asked confused as to how Astrid had even gotten back to Earth.

“Well I’m still to report directly to my handler for check ins while he’s continuing that classified mission for the Robes he had gotten while here. Apparently even though our situation got blown the Agency and the Robes felt like they could still mutually benefit working together.” Astrid explained.

“So he’s still commissioned here on earth for the time being… does he know you’re here..?” Reagan questioned doubting Astrid’s handler would have just been fine with them meeting again.

“He doesn’t know.. He told me to stay away from Cognito and for the most part I did. I’ve been on Earth for a while keeping my cover. I think he started trusting I was going to keep being a good agent and stick to my cover life.” She said in a melancholic tone.

“So you’re defying orders and sneaking around now that he’s not paying you much mind..?” Reagan asked curiously having always known Astrid to be quite loyal to her Agency and handler.

“Yeah I guess so.. back when I was younger in the Agency I remember a few of the other agents trying to warn me about being too blindly loyal to the Agency.. at the time I thought it was ludicrous but now… I don’t know.. I’m stating to wonder if my days are numbered if I just keep sitting around for them and being useless..” Astrid whispered as if agency members were in the room with them.

“You really think they would…? You think they would actually.. terminate you..? But you’ve been doing everything right since then correct? Besides coming to see me that is… that’s not that bad right…?” Reagan asked shakily realizing what Astrid was implying would happen to her.

“That’s the thing… I haven’t really been following orders… for a while now. It turns out my new cover identity is as a teachers assistant….” Astrid trailed off suddenly feeling anxious now that she was admitting everything to Reagan.

“A teacher’s assistant..? So… what’s so bad about that..?” Reagan anxiously laughed not understanding.

“Well.. I’m now a Teacher’s assistant at the high school that Rick Sanchez’s grandkids go to… and … I might have been aiding him in… a few- a couple- okay… a decent amount of times in his criminal activity throughout the multiverses..” Astrid smiled with a guilty look in her eyes.

“ASTRID- THE RICK SANCHEZ…?! Oh my god… oh god…. Not only do I hate the man- my father, J.R. And the Robes can’t stand him…. But your Agency…. Jesus I don’t think they like the man either. He’s literally the most hated- and WANTED- man in the universe..!” Reagan rambled in disbelief.

“Yeah… I know it looks.. pretty bad doesn’t it..?” Astrid started to anxiously laugh in disbelief realizing how much jeopardy she had put herself in.

“Hold on.. if he forced you or blackmailed you- your Agency might understand…! You could even say you were gathering secret intel on him for them!” Reagan quickly suggested.

“It wouldn’t work.. I was given direct orders from my Handler to avoid him as much as possible and to never directly engage with him.. and I helped him of my own volition.” Astrid said now with a calm ton accepting the decision she had made.

“Why…? Astrid if you were worried they might terminate you then why would you risk something like that…?!” Reagan questioned hardly believing.

“I think I just got lost.. I’ve been all over the universe.. I’ve lived countless fake lives.. my work was everything…. But then I didn’t have it.. you were gone.. if I had nothing to lose then why not have fun if nothing matters anymore..? I started to grow fond of his grandkids.. and he- he’s oddly interesting I don’t know… I grew up with assassins it seemed normal to me..But.. now we are here… talking… I don’t know I didn’t plan this far ahead.” Astrid said defensively now feeling ashamed of her new and confusing choices.

“Oh fuck Astrid…. It is my fault..! I took your hope of coming back to your work…!”

“No Reagan… I lost hope for a while but I still did my cover.. it was his kids…. I don’t know I thought they were really sweet.. they reminded me of when I was younger..they have been through so much already and… I just felt like I needed to look out for them in maybe a friendly way… maybe give them pointers.. I wish I had had more help from older friendly assassins in my work..” Astrid mumbled finding her reasoning to be embarrassing.

“Friendly assassins…. Right… god Astrid.. neither of us are normal at all… I keep forgetting that somehow….” Reagan shook her head while covering her face letting the realities they lived wash over her, “So…. You got close to the kids and he accidentally found out about you..? So you stuck around because he could blackmail you if he wanted…?”

“No.. he hasn’t actually found out… and not by accident.. the kids wanted me to join them on a mission.. so I did.. and I kept my cover at first but I started to… intentionally mess with Sanchez by giving him hints that I wasn’t really human..for fun.” Astrid said more aloof pretending it wasn’t that big of a deal.

“FOR FUN?! Are you nuts!? He’s-Hes Rick-Fucking-Sanchez-Wait…you actually like the man?! He’s- he’s literally a terrorist…! ACROSS MULTIPLE DIMENSIONS! His personality is unsavory in the nicest way you would describe it…!”

“He’s not that bad… I mean he’s definitely infamously for a reason but… Reagan I’ve seen worse.. out of all the outlaws, terrorists, dictators, corrupt officials, vigilantes, other ASSASSINS..! He’s.. not all that bad.. he’s kind of just a grumpy older guy.. yeah he’s a dick but like who isn’t…?” She defended in a matter of fact tone.

“What the hell……..? Okay… I mean… I met the guy once and… I personally can’t stand him. But I … guess if you were to be able to get past his horrible attitude.. I don’t know I never saw him around his grandkids.. but hes a dick Astrid!” Reagan tried to argue internally still.

“What do you have against him? What happened the time you two met..?” Astrid asked curiously sensing there was a more personal reason as to why Reagan seemed to dislike Rick.

“It’s- it’s nothing really… I mean I’m kind of embarrassed about it.. it was during a time in my life when I was at a horrible low…” Reagan tried to explain herself now regretting her honesty.

“Horrible low…? Was this while I was away…? Did you two have something personal between you two-?” Astrid asked suspiciously before Reagan cut her off.

“NO!! A-and yes.. kind of.. I mean it was- just let me explain….” She tried to straighten her words, “One time I got boarder line blackout drunk when I went out with the team one night… really like I said.. i was at a low point- before you had even come to Cognito..! I bumped into him at a bar in DC when it was still the old president in office. He seemed fun and smart at first.. like he was actually able to keep up a lot of science conversations with me.. he even told me some thing I didn’t know..we did shots.. he told me kind of who he was.. he proved it by showing me the portal gun and all.. And then in my drunken mind I thought it would be funny to take him home with me that night. Surely it would piss off my dad… Him meeting a smarter and more pretentious guy than him! I mean we were living together still so there was no way they wouldn’t meet!” Reagan tried to explain embarrassingly.

“So you fucked him…? Or you just brought him home as a prank…?” Astrid raised her eyebrow in confusion.

“At the point of the night I guess I blacked out… I woke up the next morning next to him in bed and I guess we had hooked up.. but by the morning his attitude was so different.. and he waltzed right into the kitchen to get something from the fridge and my dad then met him… since you haven’t met my dad I’ll save you the details but it just went south.. they got into a huge pissing match and he was a lot more of a dick than what I had remembered from the night I met him and he just started to give me the ick because he reminded me way too much of my dad.. so after they had a fight and he left. I just never contacted him again and he never reached back out either… even after times Cognito Inc. or the Robes have had run ins with him..seems like everyone hated him.” Reagan attempted to state like it was a fact in an attempt to hide her shame.

“Right…..um well I don’t really know what to say… it kind of just sounds like you two don’t get along… did he actually do anything to you or…?” Astrid attempted to extract.

“No… I mean I guess not… I just hate his personality…” Reagan admitted begrudgingly.

“Well.. that situation is definitely messy I guess.. but that isn’t at all what things have been like for me… no offense Reagan but you did kind of set up that situation when you were drunk and wanting to start something with your dad-“ Astrid attempted to gently point out before being interrupted.

“I know- I know….. I guess I get that situation was my fault but I still don’t like him.. and he’s still bad news…” Reagan insisted.

“So… your team and Cognito… you would consider them as people to be… good news…?” Astrid laughed attempting to make a point.

“Okay… you got me there.. I know technically I guess all of us are bad news too.. I don’t know… at least we all try to work together…? Rick doesn’t really seem like he’s a team player..” Reagan admitted but still tried to sow some doubt.

“Reagan… I’m an assassin.. if I hadn’t felt differently about you then I probably would still be working at cognito with you right now and exploiting your weaknesses to the advantage of my Agency…” Astrid stated plainly.

Reagan looked at her dumbfounded, not having expected that Astrid would have admitted to all the Agency had wanted her to do. She then looked to the floor trying to sort out what that meant to her.

“So… you’re trying to say you think he’s different because for some reason he might like you too..? That he’s not just using you?” She asked directly back to Astrid.

“I mean I know he’s used me to his own gain. I let him. But I’m saying it’s mutual because I’m using him to do what I want to.. like dimension travel.. after my reprogramming my teleportation ability went right down the drain.. I mean it was never that strong but now it’s like… really bad.” Astrid admitted to Reagan.

“Wait so you had teleportation abilities before…?! And even after reprogramming you can still access that power without a trigger..?” She suddenly switched gears and contemplated.

“Yeah.. I just happened to never use it around you when we worked together..” Asteid chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood, “And I was always able to access that power even without a trigger.. but now after programming it feels almost as if that had tried to stunt my ability to do so..” she then mumbled mostly to herself.

“So the agency really is trying to keep you on the shelf… they tried to keep you from running..” Reagan whispered while contemplating for a moment.

Astrid looked at her wondering what thought she might have been mulling over. Reagan walked over to her computer and started to click away at her keys. Astrid hoped up onto the desk next to her and peaked to she what she was up to.

“Okay so if my hunch is correct…” Reagan started while continuing to type away, “it seems like the new programming wasn’t completely successful… in two ways.. it didn’t fix your “break” entirely…but it also didn’t seem to completely prevent you from using your original abilities either… so this might just mean whoever did the programming didn’t do a good enough job….”

“Good enough job…?” So they half assed it? What does that mean for me…?” Astrid asked confused.

“Well I’m not sure if they half assed it.. but compared to the complexity of your original powers and programming it suggests that maybe you had two different programmers… like the original programmer was extremely good… and then the more recent one was just… not very good…” Reagan explained her hunch.

“So that just means it didn’t really work…? And that I’m kind of just forever broken…?” Astrid asked disheartened.

“No actually it gives me reason to believe there is a possibility we could maybe reprogram you… but in a way that fixes you and also doesn’t suppress your natural abilities.” Reagan perked up excitedly.

“Wait… you really think so…?” Astrid suddenly felt like a bus full excitement hit her.

“If I could somehow get access to the files both of your programmers kept on you… I could try and compare the data and see where I could tweak it…! Or maybe any type of information your handler might have on your old or new programming… even if I can’t have the blueprints I could run simulations in my lab with any little bit of information I could get and piece together things on my own… I mean it’s risky… maybe it isn’t a good idea..” Reagan’s mood quickly changed as she started to think about what happened last time she messed with Astrid’s programming.

“Wait! It’s… it’s Risky yes… but we could always just try to figure out… just in case right…? Like.. theoretically….” Astrid feeling like the ray of hope she had finally glimpsed was fading away.

Reagan looked at Astrid in silence for a moment, desperately searching to see if any hesitation lingered on her face. Not being able to find any she sighed and closed her eyes to think. She then looked back up at her,

“Sure… yeah. I could gather up any type of information and see what comes of it…. Theoretically..” she sighed realizing she was giving into Astrid’s risk taking.

“Great..! I can definitely find you something…!” Astrid said cheerfully hoping to win over Reagan more with the idea.

“Okay but… you shouldn’t be using your abilities much until we learn more okay… it could mean you’re doing further damage to yourself without knowing… and that means not helping Sanchez with his wacky plans…” Reagan tried to insist.

“Reagan… I have my cover life I have to keep up with.. I mean I’m still not using them that much even when I have been around Sanchez.. I’ll be fine. Besides I can still help him with things without needing my abilities…” Astrid also insisted back annoyed that Reagan was still trying to police what she was doing.

“Fine… I just don’t think it’s a good idea to stay around him. That’s all.” Reagan gave up but still slid in attitude.

“Reagan… are you jealous..? Ha! Honestly that’s rich coming from you. You had a whole boyfriend while I was gone, why does it matter if I hang out with someone?” Astrid asked amused hoping to get Reagan to drop it.

“I’m- I’m not jealous… “ she blushed and frowned irritatedly.

“Yeah… sure. And uh… you still trying to have orgies with your co workers or…?” Astrid continued to twist the knife hoping to make Reagan admit she was acting out of line.

“Jesus Astrid… okay yeah I’m jealous and I have no room to talk… Are you happy…?!” She then quickly turned to start working on one of her projects in an attempt to leave the conversation.

“Oh don’t be that way Reagan! Come on. We both know things got complicated for both of us. So what? We are complicated people. You have your relationships and I have mine. But does that really stop us from being us? We could still be what we want with each other…” Astrid followed her and hugged her from behind in an attempt to convey how she felt.

Reagan froze up at the touch, it had been a long time since the two of them had been close.. and even then Reagan had always struggled with her feelings of affection. Her shoulders softened and she stood there leaning into Astrid’s embrace.

“So like… you don’t care that I dated someone after you..? Or if I’m seeing my co workers sometimes…. It’s a long story and I don’t even want to consider any of them a relationship we just all never get out much cause of work and-“ Reagan’s rambling was cut short.

“Reagan it’s okay. We can both have our own lives. But we can also choose when to share our lives together. I think we should just do what works for us right now. I still care about you and want to see you but I also understand when you have and want to do things that don’t involve me… as long as you can also respect when I’m doing my own thing as well. We can always regroup if things get confusing or more complicated than they already are.” Astrid said calmly while enjoying being close again after such a long time.

“Okay… I mean that’s kind of a newer concept to me but I guess I don’t hate it… doesn’t mean I’ll ever like Sanchez though.. ha!” Reagan agreed but attempted to joke at the end.

“That’s fine. You don’t have to. And if I end up disliking someone you’re seeing I don’t have to like them either.” Astrid teased.

“Wait but you like the team right…? I mean I know they miss you too.. gosh we all were all worried after you left!” Reagan asked

“Don’t be silly Reagan of course I like your team. I just like you on a different level is all. I miss them too. If you think it’s safe to let them know we met back up… you could always tell them I said hi.” Astrid cooed in Reagan’s ear still keeping a warm hug wrapped around her.

“Yeah I’ll end up telling them sometime… I mean I run Cognito now… I’ll be wanting your help on missions too if you’ll come back.” She turned and returned the embrace.

“Oh so I can help you guys on missions but not Sanchez Hu..?” Astrid teased.

“Oh give me a break..!” Reagan annoyed but still tightly squeezed to Astrid.

Astrid laughed looking her in the eyes. Reagan met her gaze and then attempted to move the conversation on.

“So what do you say…? If you’re already breaking rules do you want to help assist me with Cognito sometimes..? And maybe when you are off doing your own thing you could obtain any information you can find on your programming and bring it to me? That way I could also keep an eye out on your abilities and functions while also working to find a way to fix your programming..?” Reagan officially offered.

“Yeah. You think you’ll be able to keep me secret? I mean I know you might be running Cognito now but I’m sure some of the company still doesn’t trust me after what happened…” Astrid wondered.

“Don’t worry about that. You can help us on classified missions unofficially and we’ll keep it secret when you are working with us.” She said now more confidently now that she ran the place.

“Alright deal.” Astrid replied.

It had been a whole day since Rick noticed Astrid’s tracker location showing up at Cognito. Inc. It was well into the late of that night when he drunkenly swiveled is rolling chair under himself at his workbench in the garage. Throughout the day he had worked on various inventions all while randomly going to check the tracker location on the map every other hour. On breaks he had attempted to do more digging on Astrid’s origins, still coming up with nothing. Frustratedly he drank himself into a stopper after his attempted spy robot flies were exterminated by some new security that Cognito seemed to have installed. Failure to find any documentation of Astrid in Cognito’s classified files also added to the wound of his pride. This pissed him off royally since he already had such a distaste for the company and the Ridley Family. His drinking had gotten worse once he had decided he would stop trying to spy in on the situation not wanting to have any of them figure out he was even slightly interested in anything they were doing. After all they were no where near his level of genius, why would he want to even give them the satisfaction?

Still, not knowing for once, even if it was because of his own ego, he couldn’t stomach it. In an attempt to prove to himself it wasn’t worth his time, he proceeded to get borderline black out drunk all while shutting himself in the garage to work. Getting annoyed any time one of the Smith family came to the door attempting to converse with him and angrily turning them away every time. His attention quickly became glued to his monitor once the notification came of Astrid’s location changing again.

He teleported down to his super computer instantly just to confirm it wasn’t a trick. He blinked and rubbed his eyes double checking that her tracker now said she was back in her apartment around the block.

He mumbled to himself, “D-didn’t take y-you for the sentimental type.” Suddenly he remembered the other night when he had overheard Summer on the phone with her friend talking about how Astrid had told her recent fling was with an ex co-worker.

He pinched his forehead frustratedly also recalling how Astrid had mentioned she previously was on earth for work when they had taken a ride to the Astroid belt. He downed his flask and went to his room in a huff. He slumped down onto his bed to go try his luck at sleep. He rubbed his face and looked up at the ceiling drunkenly muttering,

“s-so she’s here cause of some s-stupid situationship? H-Her tracker sh-showed her in Reagan- Fucking-R-Ridley’s l-lab all day..”

He briefly grimaced thinking back on the time he had gotten black out drunk and went home with her years ago.

He scrunched up his face in discomfort knowing he barely even remembered spending the night with her. He only could remember the big fight her father had started that next morning with him in the kitchen.

“G-god she was a-a pain… and that father of hers…n-no doubt she’s just like that l-lunatic of a guy..” he grumbled while thinking about the loathing he felt towards that family before eventually calming down a bit and slowly starting to doze off.

A loud bang from the upstairs came from the floor above, most likely one of the Smiths slamming their bedroom door. He stirred and looked back at his watch to double check the tracker still showed Astrid at her apartment.

“I guess I was expecting…. something more interesting…..” he said disappointedly before slipping back out of consciousness.

Suddenly he was in a dark room restricted by something, he jolted and thrashed in an attempt to get free but with no difference being made.

He then heard two laughs directly in front of him that sounded familiar. The pressure of a hand reaching out and pulling a sack off of his face against his forehead. As soon as the sack was gone he was able to see he was in an interrogation room with both Astrid and Reagan.

“FUCK! I knew it!! I knew this would end up like this!” Rick shouted in anger still not being able to break free.

“Took you quite a while though… Is the great Rick Sanchez loosing his touch in his old age?” Reagan mocked with a smile.

“W-what gives!? You got so bitter it didn’t work out for us that you sent in some weird alien bitch to try and honey pot me?!” He hissed back at her.

“Honey pot you? How pathetic… you think I’d be even remotely interested in even pretending to like you?” Astrid laughed in his face.

“F-….fuck off….! What do you even want?!” Rick attempted to act unfazed but found himself choking on his words.

“God how embarrassing…. He’s even naked..!” Reagan laughed making Rick look down to see he was only in his boxers.

“Naked old loser says what?!” Astrid said so fast Rick barely processed it.

“W-what…?” He asked confused before Astrid quickly electrocuted him with live wires.

“AHHHHGH-FUCK!!” Rick screamed jolting up from his bed eyes wide realizing it was a dream.

He crawled and clamored over to his small metal trash can in the corner of the room and proceeded to vomit up all the alcohol he had drank earlier.

“J-Jesus Christ… what is wrong with me..? A s-stupid “h-he’s not wearing any pants dream…?”How old am I- seventeen…?” He panted annoyed at himself on the floor after getting it all out.

He then got back up and layed back down on the bed face up to the ceiling.

“I need to figure this shit out…”

—- PART ELEVEN COMPLETED —-

—- SHUTTING DOWN —-

—- GOODBYE —-

#rick and morty #rick and morty fandom #rick and morty oc #rick sanchez fanfic #rick sanchez x reader #inside job fandom #crossover #inside job fanfic #inside job #reagan ridley inside job #reagan ridley

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itisaterriblelove · 2 years ago

Text

“AH, SHIT.”

Elvis Hirsche had extremely bad timing, all things considered, and I couldn’t help the little flurry of annoyance that built up in my chest as I stared down at my phone. But it passed quickly, because in the next moment I realized that Elle needed me. And I would always be there for Elle when she needed me; that went without saying or even thinking about.

It wasn’t like Elle to go out and get drunk. I had known her ever since we were in elementary school, and we’d been best friends since somewhere in middle school. She was in her second year of college now and I was in my last… Well, okay, what was supposed to be my last. But I definitely didn’t have enough credits to graduate, and I certainly wasn’t sad about it.

The point was, I had never known Elle to get drunk in a bar. And especially not without me.

“I’m sorry, Ty,” I glanced over at her apologetically as I slid my phone back into the pocket of my jacket. “I’ve gotta go.”

I expected Tyler to look ruffled, so I opened my mouth to hurry up and explain, but she didn’t.

She wrinkled her forehead just a little, and I could see the concern in her eyes as she opened her mouth to say, “Is everything okay?” And fuck if I didn’t just love the way this girl gave me the benefit of the doubt. I couldn’t think of a single one of my exes who—at this point in the game—wouldn’t have been jumping down my throat about why I had to bail on her. Especially if they found out it was about Elvis Hirsche. But not Tyler.

“DK texted about Elle being wasted at Blacklight,” I explained, already knowing that Tyler would get what that meant to me. “I’ve gotta go get her.” I shrugged, apologetic. But there was no fucking way that I was leaving Elle on her own to muddle through a bar full of assholes while she was drunk. Not happening.

“Why can’t DK just take her home?” Reagan interrupted, with the same attitude that I had almost expected from Tyler, but had been relieved not to get. I caught myself before I could shoot a glare in Reagan’s direction.

I was supposed to be with Elle tonight, anyway, so I couldn’t help the surge of guilt that I felt. Like maybe this was my fault somehow. That she’d gone out and done something so out of character because of me. But I had canceled on her because of Tyler’s plea that I join them tonight. All because her best friend, Reagan, had a date with some dude and didn’t want to go alone.

I was not a fucking double-date kind of guy. Especially not if the double-date was with Reagan Knight, who had always managed to find something about me annoying, for as long as we’d known each other. And this was a small town where people rarely ever moved, so we’d all kind of grown up together. Which meant that Reagan and I had been at odds basically forever.

I shook my head at her. “DK’s working.” But she already knew that. “He can’t just leave to get Elle home.” He was a bartender at Blacklight. What I didn’t mention was that DK actually was going to do just that, but just not for Elle. Apparently Elle and Jemma had made it a girls’ night out. DK couldn’t handle them both on his own, and he didn’t want to leave Elle alone while he got Jemma home.

Still, bailing on my girlfriend to deal with a drunk best friend made me feel like kind of a dick.

“Don’t worry about it, man. I can get them both home.” Elliott—the poor asshole who wanted to date Reagan Knight—didn’t ding anything on my creep meter. He was just this kind of nerdy guy, and he seemed harmless enough. Still, I considered him for a long moment before shooting another look at Tyler.

“Or you guys can come back with me now?” I offered, feeling worse as I realized I was stranding them with this guy if I left, and ruining Reagan’s date if they left with me.

I watched as Reagan and Tyler seemed to communicate through nothing but back and forth looks before Tyler gave a gentle shake of her head. “No thanks, Gavin. Don’t worry about us. Go ahead and take care of Elle.”

I listened for it, I really did, but there was not a single shred of suspicion or judgment or even annoyance in her voice. It was fucking amazing.

“I’m sorry, Ty,” I shot her another apology, just to make sure that she knew that I meant it, but she just smiled.

“I know. It’s okay, Gavin.” I took Tyler at face value and nodded, standing up to leave. There wasn’t any time to waste because we were at some karaoke bar a little ways outside of town, and it was at least a twenty minute drive back to Pleasant Valley and Blacklight to get Elle. We hadn’t even ordered our food when I got that emergency text from DK. But Tyler didn’t flinch as I grabbed up my keys and waved goodbye to everyone; she didn’t seem to mind at all.

And yet, I’m not gonna lie, a nagging part of the back of my mind worried about whether I’d pay for this later. I mean, most girls were just not this chill. Not even Elle, and she let me off the hook pretty much all of the time. It was something I couldn’t worry about at the moment, though; I’d already made up my mind to leave.

#my art #my writing #artists on tumblr #i'm still working on side profile and 3/4 views okay #so this... was hard...#gavin x tyler #reagan x elliott #fg #fg ch06 #i legit can't believe i spent so long #on this image #for this short short part of the story #but also #it was good practice #so okay #i honestly hate their noses #stylizing the noses in these profiles was like...#not my friend #okay i'm done criticizing myself

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busterheadspace · 2 years ago

Note

For the bad things happen bingo and the "taking the blame" prompt maybe an scenario where Brett declares to Reagan but there is an accident and he sacrifices himself for her to save her. Reagan is confused by the declaration and blames herself for what happened to him, after in the hospital they talk.

Woah, I am super sorry for the lateness. Trying to get request done, slowly coming

Note:You can send request in. I’ll still do them

TW: AMPUTATION AND BLOOD

Brett shot up with a gasp, scrambling away. He had a horrible dream. There was blood, a big sharp weapon, screaming and… He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Use the breathing technique that his therapist told him to use. He repeated until he felt calm, an urge to hold himself except.. Why couldn’t he feel his arms? He looked down, his eyes widening in terror

WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS ARMS?! WHY WERE THEY GONE?! WHY WAS THERE ARE BANDAGES ON HIS SHOULDER?! WHY WAS THERE BLOOD?!

The panic came back and Brett felt like he was dying. Faintly, he could hear the door opened and someone rushing toward him

"Brett! You're going to reopen the stitches!" Andre was in front of him, trying to snap him out of it. Though his voice didn't seem to reach, the doctor grabbed a cup and threw it onto him. Somehow he make him come to his sense but Brett was still shaking

“What.. what happened?” Brett asked. “Where are my arms?”

“Do you remember the Reptoid party we had to go to?” Andre asked.

“… Kinda..?”

“Remember how Reagan screwed up and ripped the main guy’s arms.”

That sentence was what made him remember what had happen. He froze, just thinking about it..

—-

The Reptiods had shoved them inside the police car and they began driving back to Yale.

“So why are they mad at you?" Brett whispered

"You weren't there for the speech so JR sent me to do it. You know about my hug problem so I made some robo-arms to do it. I ended up ripping the Senator’s arms off

Oh. Oh this was his fault. Why did he go with his Frat Bros? Should he even call them that? They shoved him in a vent earlier.. But Reagan is in huge trouble because of him.

They pulled up to the courtroom and Brett wanted to stay close to Reagan. Who knows what the Reptiods would do to her. But one of the security guard told him to find his clothes. He didn't know where they were and he was given a blanket to wear and brought to a courtroom.

The punishment was Reagan losing her arms and the thought made Brett throw up,. Brett was trying to think how he could help her. His name was called up and he got up slowly, and sat beside Court Judy. It felt like everyone was staring at him as he tried to come up with something to say. He looked at Reagan. She was in trouble because of him. He was supposed to give the speech.. Wait, that could do it.

“It is my fault that Reagan’s robot arms pulled the Senator’s arms off.” Brett said. Some people gasp and Reagan was shaking her head, although he continued.

“I was supposed to give the speech tonight. But I got caught up in a situation and asked Reagan to do it.”

“Well how do we know you were supposed to give the speech?” Judge Judy asked. He could feel himself blushing thinking about why his clothes were in another room but he tells them. A Reptoid goes and quickly returns, holding the cards he was going to use.

“Okay. So she gave the speech. How does that involve her using the robot-arms?” The Judge asked. She was staring at him hard and he gulped.

“Reagan never was hugged. So, I gave her the Robot-arms to help with it. I didn’t think they would cause that to happen so.. I’m sorry for that.”

Reagan stood up but Gigi and JR quickly sat her down. Judge Judy stayed quiet for a few minutes before slamming her mallet.

“Brett Hand, I see you are guilty of the involvement of harming our Senator. Reagan Ridley, you should reconsider using tech to help out with your relationship. Brett Hand, I sentence you to get your arms cut off.”

Brett’s eyes widen but he shakey nods and lets the two big Reptiod grab him. They move quickly, dragging him to a hallway. He was thinking about what he was going to tell his family, how he was going to work. As they walk, something hits one of the security guard's heads. They hissed before another object hit them and they fell onto the ground. The other quickly lets go, facing the intruder's direction before being smacked straight into the face, knocked out cold. Brett turned around, Reagan was running toward him

“Brett! Come on! We’re getting out of here!” Reagan yelled, grabbing his arms. Although Brett quickly backed away, shaking his head.

“Reagan. It’s okay. Cognito needs you. You can’t help with no arms.” Brett said.

“No! You’re not losing your arms becoming of this shitty situation I put myself in! Who cares about the Reptoid! I need you!” Reagan yelled back. Her face was full of emotions. It looked like she was holding them. Brett smiled sadly, putting a hand on his face.

“I know. But I’ll be okay. And.. I know this is a bad place to say it but..if I don’t make this out alive, I love you.” Reagan looked taken back at the sudden words but two lizard guards quickly came up and grabbed her, another pair grabbing Brett and dragging him into a room.

“Brett! No! You son of a bitches! LET HIM GO!!!” Reagan cried.

Brett was strapped down quickly to a metal table. Two Reptoids were in the room, wearing scrubs. A loud noise, like a chainsaw, rushed through his ear. Brett looked over and saw a sharp object spinning rapidly. His heart begins pounding and sweat rolls his face as it comes closer.

“Wait! Please! No! No! NO!” Nothing to put him to sleep?! He was going through his awake?! It felt like he was in a Horror movie. They ignore his cries.

The object hits his arm, pain shoots through his whole body as it is drilled into his bones. Brett screams in pain and terror, tears springing from his eyes and blood hitting his face.

——

“So after being let out, Reagan forced us to wait for you and then you threw out the door. Glenn was covered in blood, and we brought to Cognito’s hospital! Now you’re an amputee!” Andre said.

“Oh my God.. can’t you give me new arms or something?!” Brett stuttered, staring at his bandages. Andre shakes his head.

“It’s complicated. We gotta connect all these veins up, your arms might die again if we do it. JR would kill us if we use limbs for something not important.”

Now came the question he was dreading.

“How’s Reagan?”

Andre shrugged. “Don’t know.. She locked herself in her lab as soon as we came back.”

“And no one helped her?!”

“Brett, this is Reagan. You leave her alone when she’s pissed.”

Brett frowned and quickly remembered what he said to her. He thought he was going to die and oh shit. He just confessed how he felt to her because he was scared he wasn’t coming back alive. And... he made things awkward. He couldn’t keep avoiding her now that he was alive

“Please, Andre. Tell her I want to talk.” Brett plead

“Woah man. Not me. But.. I could get someone to do..” Andre quickly brought his phone out and walked out of the room, leaving Brett alone.

It felt eerie being by himself, especially with medic supplies. He took a quick glance at his side, the empty and bloody sight of what was left made him sick.

—-

Reagan knew her breathing was too quick but she didn’t know how to stop it. She rubbed her arm across her face, drying the tears rolling down her face but she knew more were coming as the water formed in her eyes.

She had been in her lab for three days. No one had attempted to reach out to her and she was fine with that. It gave her more time to reconstruct something for Brett. Screw his big dumb heart.. Why would he do that for her? She wasn’t worth being saved.. and.. she thought about his confession a lot, making her heart ache. She wasn’t worth being loved. Why he would sacrifice himself for her, she didn’t know why he thought it was worth it

The banging on her door made her growl and she slammed her fist against the control panel

“Go away!” She shouts.

“Brett awake.” Gigi said, unfazed. “He wants you.”

Brett was alive. Brett was awake. She stopped working after hearing those words. With a heavy breath, she responded.

“Tell him I don’t wanna see him.”

“Girl, he wants to see you. Do you think avoiding him is going to solve all your problems?”

Reagan didn’t respond to that. Thinking about it, Gigi was right. She couldn’t avoid him forever. After all, JR made him Co-Lead and he needed an answer for her thoughts . She looked at one of her metal plates, and saw her face looked horrible . She wiped her face quickly and opened the door. Gigi was on her phone and while it looked like she was about to say something, Reagan walked quickly away from her. She ignored everyone as she made her way to the infirmary

Andre was outside a room, and smiled at her.

“Here to see Brett. He just wanted you in the room. Are you guys like.. have sex and-“

“Shut it, Andre.” Reagan said.

“Alright. Alright. I’ll leave you two alone. But if they’re sex, I’m hearing all about it.”

Reagan growled as he left but she suddenly felt afraid alone. What was she going to say? She knew she couldn’t avoid Brett, especially with how she felt about her confession. She took another deep breath, holding back the rush of emotions and opened the door

——

Brett had laid down, staring at the ceiling and heard the door open. He tried to sit up, or well attempted to. Without arms, it was a struggle and Reagan came in front of him, without him noticing. And once he did, he blushed.

“Hey Reagan. Uh, how was work while I was gone?” Brett asked.

She didn’t respond although he saw her clench her hands into fist. Was she mad at him?

“I’m sorry if the Reptoid meeting went wrong. Sorry I screwed it up.”

“Are you kidding me?” Reagan mumbled after a moment. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I screwed up..?” Brett's response.

“Screwed up?! I’m one who fucked up!” Reagan exclaimed. “I..... you lost your arms for no reason…”

“What?l

“Dad came in with Bear-O just as I was dragged back into the courtroom. It was some stupid robot bear that he used to care for him as a kid. He hugged me and.. I remember why I hate hugs. That robot that Dad made.. messed me up. The judge let me go after I made my dad go up and confess what he did.. but.. it was too late for you. You’re armless now..”

“Oh..It’s okay.” Brett didn’t know how to respond to that. Reagan shudder as she tried to keep it together and stared at him

“Did you mean it?”

“You mean.. the confession..”

She nodded. “What makes you think I’m good enough to love because I would be a horrible girlfriend.”

If Brett wasn’t connected to a bunch of wires and could sit up , he would have moved closer to her. If he had his arms, maybe he would have grabbed her hand or something to comfort her. But the best he could do is looks back and smiles sadly

“I’m not that important to Reagan. The company needs you. I do nothing for the company. It’s fine if I don’t make it”

“No. Don’t say that.” Reagan approached the bed, and to the surprises of both of them , her hands cupped his face. Reagan never liked getting this intimate but something in her, maybe the feelings for him, made her do this. Brett was surprised as just days ago, he was punched for trying to hug her.

“I don’t care what anyone else says. But I love you. If you really think you’re not important, you’re fucking wrong.” She felt a tear run down her face and shook her head. “You’re worth more than this stupid company. You deserve someone that isn’t me”

What is that really how she thought? Brett frowned and brought his head to hers, closing his eyes.

“Because you deserve to be loved. I love everything about you. Your smarts and you are pretty. Don’t say that about yourself. Please. I love you so much ”

Reagan held back a sob but she smiled at the answer. She knew Brett would have answered like that and was ready to argue back but.. she didn’t want to. He did love her.. for a reason. Even if she didn’t understand the reason, she didn’t want to fight back. Brett loved her despite how much she told herself that he wouldn’t and how bad the circumstances were.

She did something risky and killed his cheek, and Brett just giggles and sighs constantly. She was fine with that, as long as he’s happy

—-

Brett was released after days of being inside. Where his arms were joint, there were now just two very large scars left. It was very hard doing things without arms or hands.

The Gang made fun of him but a glare from Reagan made them stop. After a meeting, she made him come to her lab. It was dimly lit and she approached something under a sheet.

“I know my robo-arms made you lose your arms but..” She threw it off, a new set of robot-arms were on a mannequin. Brett looked surprised as she took it off and walked behind him. “I think these will help you. They’re waterproof and now, it’s almost like nothing happened.”

Brett felt something put on him and looked down at the robot-arms. He flecked them forward and back. They worked like his old arms. He reached for Reagan’s cheek, smiling and kissing it.

“I've wanted to do that ever since the hospital visit.”

“Really? Aw.” Reagan smirked and kissed him on the mouth. Brett returned it, wrapping his new arms around her.

It was a great feeling and he couldn’t be happier

#inside job #reagan ridley #brett hand #inside job fanfic #breagron #tw:blood #tw: amputation

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