#something something plot ahoy

[abyssal-cryptid]

Im only a few episodes into s3 but Im starting to remember why I dont like the latter seasons of TMA as much as the early ones. Its the plot. There is too much of it. The change feels really sudden between seasons 2 and 3. There is a pre-statement plot section and post statement plot section (or maybe more than one) in every episode. Wherein s1 and s2 it was usually one or the other and not every episode even had a plot section (and s2 sections were not as intrusive)

Im here to listen to statements about fucked up happenings in ghostville with sprinklings of plot, not plot with sprinklings of statements

[jesncin]

Young Justice is on Netflix???

oh oh my,,,, my life is about to improve so much rn

[fairyysoup]

i can see you

♫︎ i can see you - taylor swift ♫︎

pairing(s): steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: The secret history of your long and arduous relationship with Steve Harrington.

aka: the 5 times you pined over each other, and the time you actually did something about it

words: 17.6k (we're NOT gonna talk about it lol)

cw: explicit, smut, piv sex, flirting, making out, heavy petting, slight exhibitionism, oral (f receiving), fingering, marking, biting, steve harrington has a big dick, themes of infidelity/cheating (sort of), skipping out on dates, bad dates, steve steal-your-girl harrington, almost-kisses, jealous!steve, jealous!reader, possessive behavior, smoking, alcohol consumption, allusions to marriage but it's never actually mentioned, canon compliant, reader and steve are the same age, 5+1 things, songfic, angst, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, pining, mutual crush, slow burn one shot, mild twist ending, begins in season two (1984) and ends in the 90s, high school, scoops ahoy era, family video era, waiter!steve, steve harrington (the eras tour), vignette, one instance of billy hargrove slander, original characters created for plot, inspired by i can see you by taylor swift, other taylor song inspo throughout bc i'm insane like miss swift

a/n: hi and welcome to ✨rose's mental breakdown✨ yes this song will be my number one on spotify wrapped bc i listened to it on a loop for five days straight while writing this. idk. anyways this is So Much and i'm tired of looking at it so if there are any mistakes i apologize. anyways whoever can point out the most taylor song references aside from the obvious titular one gets a doubloon

ALL OF MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI

You brush past me in the hallway, and you don’t think I can see you, do you? I’ve been watchin’ you for ages, and I spend my time trying not to feel it…

Hawkins High, September 1984

He’s so pretty sometimes that it’s disgusting.

That’s really the only thing you think when you watch Steve Harrington sneak up on his girlfriend, Nancy Wheeler, and swoop her off the ground in front of her locker. From across the hall, your locker hangs open, your body turned halfway toward them so that you can pretend that you’re not staring.

You stare a lot.

It’s not exactly the hair, you think- everyone shits a brick about his hair, for some reason that you don’t understand. Yeah, it’s nice… but you like everything else about him, too. You like how sweet he looks when he laughs. You like the way that he holds himself and the way that he looks when he puts his hands on his hips and stands around like he’s directing the traffic around him. You like how much of a prince charming he is, really. It would surprise you if he doesn’t win prom king at the end of the year. They already call him King Steve, it’s not too far of a stretch.

You close your locker just as Steve kisses Nancy, in front of god and everybody in the C Corridor hallway. Steve’s arms wrap around Nancy’s petite frame and he dips her, like they’re in some sort of George Peck and Audrey Hepburn movie. Not that the place is much of a cinematic setting, though. Down the hall, the science rooms are doing their dissection units, so the whole place smells like formaldehyde and disinfectant, and you sort of feel like curling up into one of those dissection pans and dying, yourself. 

That should be me, your brain screams. Me!!

It’s always been like this. You’ve had a crush on Steve since freshman year- the fact that he’s dating Nancy, who’s a year younger than him, doesn’t escape your jealous mind. You’ve been in classes with him for four years, you’ve admired him quietly, you’ve hoped and prayed that he somehow noticed you noticing him.

You don’t think he knows you exist. Four years- and now you’re both seniors, about to graduate, and he still doesn’t notice you. You should really stop caring, or stop trying, or stop… pining. Or something. 

You hike your bag up onto your shoulder and juggle your books in your arms. The bell rings, and quite suddenly the entire hallway erupts into pandemonium (predictable, sure, considering everyone loiters around instead of actually getting to class on time). Kids fly around you in all directions to get to their next classroom. Nancy Wheeler ducks away from Steve Harrington, avoiding yet another kiss.

God, you wish you could kiss him.

Someone slams into your shoulder from behind, muscling past you to get to science lab 5, rat central. Your binder slips out of the stack of books in your arms and clatters loudly to the ground, just as someone walks past and kicks it across the floor.

“Fuck,” you spit, chasing after it. The back of your neck feels hot. For the first time in four years, you hope to god that Steve Harrington doesn’t notice you. 

You duck around people’s legs, trying to grab at your binder, while not trying to drop any more of the books in your arms. Loose papers are starting to fall out of the binder as it skitters across the floor, and this is becoming more and more of a comedy of errors by the minute.

Your fingers just brush the corner of it before someone kicks it again. 

“Do you mind?” you snap as they walk away, not even looking in your direction. Crouched close to the floor, you don’t matter. Maybe you could count that as a blessing, considering you don’t want to be perceived right now.

You finally just throw away all dignity and crawl across the tile floor- disgusting and dirty and covered in sandy grit, as though it hasn’t been cleaned all year- to get to your binder. 

And you come face to face with a pair of white Nike’s. Ones that you know way too well, because you’ve stared at them every time they’ve passed you in the hallway. 

Nonononono- You clench your jaw and then look up, way up, to find Steve Harrington towering over you. 

He looks like he was about to just step around you, but then he notices you gazing up at him from all fours, and his hazel eyes lock on yours. You blink at each other for a second before he flushes, a pink blush breaking out on his cheeks and crawling up his neck, and he looks away quickly, but crouches down to grab your binder before your hand can land on it. 

“Sorry,” Steve says quietly, gathering up the couple papers that had started to slide out of the folders inside. You sit back on your heels, your blood rushing in your ears, mortified. His big hands gently poke the papers back into the folder as they should be before he hands it to you. “Looks like you’re gonna be late to class.”

You scoff. “Look who’s talking.”

Steve’s eyes find yours again, and he’s finally so close to you that you can admire the little bit of green in them. You’ve never been close enough to notice before.

He cracks a lopsided smile, one that he uses to charm people, you know- you’ve seen him use it on teachers and cute girls alike. “I’m always late to the party. But I get there, eventually.”

“I hope so.” He cocks his head at you. He doesn’t know the real meaning to your words- or, at least, you don’t think he does. 

I hope you don’t stay oblivious forever, Steve Harrington. I hope you get there, eventually.

You take your binder from him, but you pull your eyes away from his a bit later than you properly should. “Thanks, Steve.”

You get up and take off toward your next class, walking quickly so that you don’t come off like you’re lingering too long. But, halfway down the hall, you look over your shoulder at him.

Steve hasn’t moved, still crouched down close to the floor, with his head bent like he’s deep in thought. With his back to you, you can still see the pink flush on the back of his neck, peeking out above his collared shirt.

‘Cause I can see you, waiting down the hall from me, and I can see you up against the wall with me. What would you do? Baby, if you only knew that I can see you…

Hawkins High, April 1985

Prom season sucks. Always has, and always will. 

Maybe it was your fault for hoping that Logan Sawyer, popular prick extraordinaire, was serious about wanting to take you to prom. He seemed serious enough, stopping by your locker during passing period and leaning over you as he asked you, his mega-watt smile making you blush. You’d counted yourself lucky- you didn’t think anyone was going to ask you, and people aren’t allowed to go to prom stag.

It took Logan two weeks to find a prettier girl to go with, though. You don’t know why it hurts so much. Maybe it’s because you wanted to believe that you were someone’s first choice, but it never quite seems to turn out that way.

You wipe your tears in the mirror, scowling at your puffy, bloodshot eyes. The bathroom next to the girls’ locker room in the sports wing is completely deserted at this time- the boys’ gym class is in session now, and you’re cutting into your lunch time, but you really don’t want to have to go and cry at a lunch table, in front of a bunch of your bitchy peers, who will inevitably make fun of you for it.

Sniffling, but slightly more composed, you head out of the bathroom. The sports wing is ridiculously bigger than any other wing of the school (typical of American public schools, to prioritize sports over every other department). The wing boasts weight training rooms, dance rooms, three separate gymnasiums, and a door directly to the football field, with the locker rooms on the farthest end to allow for easy access to the field. Connecting all of these rooms is the longest corridor in the building, which seems to run for half a fucking mile.

You’ll have to walk that half mile, because in order to get to the cafeteria, you’re gonna have to traverse the entire building. You might not get to eat much today, but it was a sacrifice you were willing to make. Maybe Mrs. Marshall will be kind enough to let you snack on a granola bar in your next class period.

Halfway down the long hallway, you feel the angry sting of tears behind your eyes again, and your face screws up in frustration. You stop, turning halfway back toward the girls’ bathroom, wondering if you should just go back in and allow yourself to cry some more.

Suck it up, you think to yourself, smacking at your tear stained cheeks. He’s not the guy you really want to ask you to prom, anyways.

You press your fingertips into your eyes to relieve the sting of tears, taking a deep breath. Being in high school is driving you crazy. At this point in the year, the teachers have given up teaching, the students have given up learning, and you’re basically just biding your time in a glorified babysitting service until you can inevitably grab your diploma and get out of here. You can’t wait for that time to arrive. 

A door opens further down the hallway, in the direction of the cafeteria. You wipe your nose once and keep moving in the direction you were going, not wanting to draw attention to yourself, standing in the middle of the hallway having a breakdown.

Moving forwards, you keep your eyes on the ground. Once you hear the door that had been opened slam shut again, you figure that whoever it was has moved on down the hallway, and you lift your eyes again. 

They have not, in fact, moved on. And you suddenly have the urge to turn and fucking run back into the girls’ bathroom, because Steve Harrington is bent over at the drinking fountain, directly outside the boys’ weight room.

What the fuck, what the fuck. You suck on your teeth, trying not to falter in your stride. Maybe he hasn’t seen you, and you can just pass him up. It’s fine, he hasn’t seen you crying. 

Your mind backtracks to the beginning of the year, you fumbling your binder all the way across the hallway and ending up right in front of him, crawling toward him. Looking up at him and probably, most definitely, making him really uncomfortable.

You have English class together, where you sit at the desk closest to the door. He comes in late almost every day, so he passes by you every time. Some days he looks at your desk. On good days, he meets your eye. But he hasn’t spoken to you since that day in September, and you really shouldn’t hold out hope that he will. 

You definitely don’t want him to notice you when you’ve been crying, your face is a mess, your hair is limp and you look bedraggled. You just want to fade into the background of your next class with whatever snack you can get from the cafeteria snuck into your bag, so you can stress eat it without any guff from a teacher (like you aren’t 18 and capable of deciding when you are and aren’t allowed to eat).

You keep your eyes down. If you don’t look at him, he doesn’t exist.

Except, Steve Harrington always exists, in the back of your mind, and in your periphery. He is impossible not to notice, as per usual. He really just draws the eye like a magnet. Try as you might, your eyes keep flicking up to take stock of him. 

He’s wearing a uniform gray P.E. shirt and gym shorts that don’t leave a lot to the imagination, and you fixate on his thighs more than you should. He has sweat dripping down his neck, wetting his hair on the sides of his face and the seam of his shirt. It shouldn’t be attractive. He shouldn’t be attractive. With his face a mess. And his hair limp, and looking bedraggled. Truly, you make a priceless pair, being the only two people in the hallway.

We’re perfect for each other, a voice says in your head. And you manage, for the first time in an hour, to crack a smile down at your shoes.

He finishes getting his drink at the fountain, and you figure that he’ll just go back into the weight room and not see you. But, of course, luck is not on your side.

Steve Harrington looks at you. And you look away, quickly, acting like you hadn’t been staring at him. And in your periphery, again, you see him stretch his arms over his head, and then turn and lean against the cinderblock wall beside the door to the weight room, with his hands on his knees as though he’s catching his breath.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

He does it so casually, and with the way he’s sweating and his face is flushed, you’re sure that he probably does just want to take a break before going in and lifting more weights. But something in the back of your mind says that the maneuver was too purposeful, immediately after he laid eyes on you. 

It could just be wishful thinking on your part. You heard through the grapevine that Steve and Nancy Wheeler broke up in a nasty way just before winter break, and it doesn’t seem like he’s been interested in anyone since. He hasn’t dated anyone, hasn’t flirted with any girls or showed up at any parties. Nancy must have really broken his heart.

You know too well what that feels like, right now.

Nearing where he leans against the wall, you keep your head down and you plan on just passing by without any acknowledgement from him, same as it ever was. If he’s still carrying a torch for Nancy, you’re sure that he doesn’t want anything to do with you. You’ve nearly convinced yourself of it.

But then you hear your name called quietly, and it nearly makes you jump. You look over at him, thinking you’re just hearing things, but you look directly into a pair of hazel eyes again, and you feel yourself rocketing back in time to September.

You didn’t even think he knew your name.

You slow to a stop. It would be rude not to stop, right? “Uh… hi, Steve. You good?”

Steve Harrington looks you up and down, while he leans against the wall and breathes a bit heavily, like he’s out of breath. He peers at you through long eyelashes, looking impossibly inviting despite everything; the setting, your appearances, the way that you feel like dissolving into a puddle right in front of him. “Yeah, great. You?”

He’s scrutinizing your face now. You shrug, since he’s already seen you, and there’s no way to pretend you weren’t crying thirty seconds ago. “I’m fine. Just being dramatic, don’t worry about me.” 

“When people say not to worry about them, it usually means that you should,” Steve muses. He looks coy, like he’s speaking from experience. 

You sigh, stepping forward to get your own drink from the drinking fountain. “Logan Sawyer called off our date for prom.”

“Oh.” Steve pauses for a few seconds, watching as you bend down and take your drink, more silent than he usually is. “I mean… that really sucks. I’m sorry. But… Logan Sawyer?”  

“Yeah.” You wipe your mouth, and then wet the ends of your fingers and use the cool water to rub at your stinging eyes again. When you’re done, you lean up against the wall beside him, letting your back settle into the cinderblock.

“The guy’s a fucking douche.”

“Tell me about it.”

“No, I mean it, I think it’s a good thing you’re not going to prom with him. He’s really shitty to girls.” You look up at Steve, who’s watching you with his arms crossed, with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen him wear. “I mean, the only guy worse than Logan is probably… I dunno…”

“Billy Hargrove?” 

Steve laughs. Actually laughs. You’ve wanted to make him laugh like that for four years. His cheeks turn crimson and he grins down at his shoes, snickering like there’s way more to the joke he’s laughing at than you even know about. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s gotta be the worst.”

You chuckle, albeit with a sadder tone than he has. “Well, I’m not going to prom with either of them. So, I can count my blessings. I guess.”

Steve frowns, and he looks like he’s going to say something else, but you’re already turning away, not wanting to continue the depressing conversation about your lack of dates. Especially not from the one guy who you desperately want to go on a date with.

You get a few steps away before he takes a step after you, saying, “Wait. You, uh-”

You stop, and look back at him. He looks dumbfounded, his arm outstretched like he was going to try to grab you if you didn’t listen to him. When you frown, he steps back against the wall, bringing his hand up to run through his hair. 

Oh . That’s a nervous tick. You know it, because you’ve watched him do it more than once in English, in front of the class during a presentation.

Steve looks down at his shoes, his brow scrunched in thought. He looks like he’s really trying to find the right words to say. In your head, a hopeful part of you imagines what those words could be. ‘Will you go to prom with me?’

Finally, he looks up at you resolutely. “You’ll find someone to take you to prom. I’m sure of it.” He nods a little, like he’s reassuring himself that he said the right thing. 

You can’t help the smile that springs onto your face. It’s incredulous, of course, but he can’t know that. Keep trying, baby. You’ll get there, eventually.

“Thanks, Steve.” It’s the second time you thank him in the course of the year.

But what would you do if I went to touch you now? What would you do if they never found us out? What would you do if we never made a sound?

Prom Night, May 1985

The dress you’re wearing is sleek and a lot simpler than some of the more popular styles on the dance floor, but you like it more than you care to admit. You’d just grabbed it off the rack at Macy’s, and beyond that you didn’t want to go all-out for prom. It turns out that your lab partner, Gavin Connelly, needed a date, too. So, you’re here with him, because you knew that if you missed prom, you would probably regret it.

Except, well.

Gavin, stoned out of his fucking mind, is sitting at one of the tables, nursing a cup of punch, looking like he’s two seconds from falling asleep. You’ve taken to making the rounds and saying hi to anyone you can call a ‘friend,’ because you’re tired of just loitering next to him. Something tells you he didn’t want to even be here.

The speakers are playing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart,’ and couples are swaying on the dance floor in a Bonnie Tyler-induced haze. At a loss for people to bother, you wander back over to your date to find his head plastered to the white table cloth. 

You glance to the guy sitting next to him, a kid with glasses who you don’t recognize but who seems to know your date, because he’s just patting Gavin’s back. “Is he okay?”

“Oh, no, he’s dying.” The kid shoots you a sarcastic smile. 

You nod, pressing your tongue hard to the roof of your mouth. “Well, if he wakes up, tell him I’m getting some air.”

Fuck this. Fuck prom. Fuck high school boys.

Your heels, which are killing your feet already, click loudly on the tile hallway floor as you exit the gym. The table where you can check your bag and coat are located at the other end of the hall, where everyone is supposed to enter through the door to the football field.

You can hear voices from the far end of the hall, and Bonnie Tyler’s voice fading out the further you get from the gym. You might never be able to hear that song again without thinking of your ruined slow dance opportunity.

As you pass by, someone coughs off to the left and you turn your head to see Steve Harrington, black tie and all, loitering in the shadows. You stop a few feet from him and squint into the dark.

You can’t believe it. He always seems to show up at the worst times. “What are you doing, skulking around?” 

“I’m not sulking.”

You snort, stepping into the shadows with him. “No, skulk- like, sneaking around?” 

“Well, I didn’t mean to sneak-” he looks over his shoulder at the gym entrance. “I’m just getting some air.”

“Funny,” you murmur. “I was just about to do the same thing.”

He eyes you, a lot like he did a few weeks ago in this same hallway, further up toward the other end of it. He takes in your hair, styled painstakingly to ‘perfection,’ or as close as you could approximate it, and your off-the-rack department store dress. You suddenly feel like you aren’t as pretty as you thought you were at the beginning of the night. 

But then he meets your eye, and all those insecurities fade into the back of your mind. He’s smiling at you, and that can only be a good thing.

“So, uh…” Steve leans back against the wall, his hands in his pockets, “You found someone to take you?”

You press your lips into a tight line. You don’t really want to think about your date right now, but- “Gavin Connelly.”

“Who?”

You laugh, kicking the heel of your shoe against the ground with a soft clack. “Yeah. God, I wish I didn’t know him right now.”

“Why, what’d he do?” Steve sounds perturbed. You look up to find him scowling already.

“Oh, he just ate a pot brownie before he picked me up and passed out at one of the tables.” You finish with a tired giggle, shrugging at Steve as he peers at you with an annoyed expression. “Who did you bring?”

“Kelly Palmer.” 

You know Kelly. She doesn’t say much, but she’s gotten a scholarship to a big art school. “Do you like her?”

“Yeah, she’s nice,” he says mildly. Unconvincingly.

You can understand the subtext. She’s not Nancy. When you look at his face, he seems tortured in the low light coming from down the hall.

“Guess I’m oh-for-two,” Steve adds after a pause. “Last year’s prom, Nance and I didn’t have such a good time, either.”

You nod. It seems like there’s more he wants to say, but he doesn’t. “I’m sorry,” you offer. You don’t know the ins-and-outs of Steve and Nancy’s relationship, aside from watching them suck face in the hallway five paces from you for a year and a half. “Prom sucks. High school sucks. These can’t be the best years of our lives, trust me.”

“Yeah, I hope not.” 

“I just can’t wait to get out of here, you know,” you grumble, allowing your sour mood to come out a little more than normal. It seems like Steve is just really good at getting you to let your guard down. “I’m planning to go to Chicago for college. This is all just… you know, it’s just the starting point. What about you, any big plans?”

“Dunno. I didn’t get accepted to any schools, so I’ll just be getting a job here in town until something better comes along.” Steve shifts, his heel hitting the wall behind him. He looks disappointed when he says, “I think I made too many mistakes.” 

You frown, chewing on your lip. “What do you mean?”

He gives you a heavy look, like he’s gearing up to say something important, something game changing- and then his gaze softens. 

“You’ve got an eyelash.” He gestures to his own eye, like it’ll make you understand exactly where the loose one is on your face.

“Oh.” You falter, lifting your manicured hands and wiping at your undereyes. “Did I get it?”

“No, uh- here, I can-” Steve tentatively reaches forward, and you step toward him to let him touch your face. 

Steve Harrington is touching your face.  

His fingertip brushes your cheekbone, so featherlight you would barely feel it if you weren’t hyper aware of everything that he said or did. His touch glides across your cheek and toward your temple, and then he seems to keep it there, his hand hovering just over your skin.

Reflexively, your hand comes up to rest on his shoulder. You’re inches from Steve’s face, your eyes falling to his lips.

You could kiss him. You could live your fantasy, right now.

Steve’s gaze lingers on your face for a moment, and then he says, “You’re so beautiful.”

Your heart lurches in your chest. He doesn’t say that you look beautiful. He doesn’t say it conditionally, like it’s just for tonight. You are beautiful. Even when you’re crawling on all fours after your binder. Even when you’re crying, and your hair is limp, and you look bedraggled.

“Steve…” you whisper, inching closer to him. 

“STEVE??!”

You jump away from him like he’s burned you, and peek around the hall corner to see Kelly Palmer standing outside the gym looking up and down the hall, searching for him. She looks lost, and sad, like he must have ditched.

She looks an awful lot like you just did, coming out of that gym.

You feel Steve’s hand where it had fallen to your wrist, dragging your attention gently back to him. You take his hand and squeeze it once, giving him a tight smile. 

“You brought her here for a good time,” you say with your bravest smile. “Just don’t pass out at one of the tables on her, okay?”

Don’t be a douche. Don’t be like Logan Sawyer. 

Steve swallows, and gives you a short nod. You think he finally got there.

You give a soft pat to the lapel of his suit jacket. “Go get ‘em, tiger.” 

He touches your arm one final time before he slips around the corner, just as Kelly turns to go back into the gym. You watch him walk away, and you think to yourself, That’s the last time I chase after Steve Harrington.

Wherever there is, it’s not with you.

Steve loops his arms around Kelly’s waist and lifts her, earning a thrilled squeal as the silver taffeta of her dress glints blue in the light from the gym. You wait until they’ve disappeared back into it before you turn and high-tail it toward the coat check table.

And we kept everything professional, but something’s changed, it’s something I like. They keep watchful eyes on us, so it’s best if we move fast and keep quiet…

Starcourt Mall, June 1985

“Come on, it’s ridiculously hot outside,” your best friend, Shelly, groans as she pulls you along by the wrist. “I can’t believe they only have one ice cream place here.”

“I’m sure they have slushies at the-”

“Ice. Cream.” You know better than to argue with her.

Scoops Ahoy has a novelty nautical theme that makes you want to both laugh and break down in tears when you see it. The PA is playing a cutesy rendition of Drunken Sailor on accordion, and you think that if you keep looking at the striped wallpaper behind the counter, you might get literally seasick. In the mall. In landlocked Indiana. 

Or… is it landlocked if it fronts Lake Michigan? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be in Chicago in two days, anyways.

You let Shelly drag you along until you look towards the front counter, and you see something that nearly makes you trip and face plant into Shelly’s fresh perm.

Even Shelly pauses. “Is that who I think it is?”

It’s something about the stupid little sailor’s cap and shorts, and that he’s so, so pretty in it, you think. It’s also something about how you have the perfect vantage point to watch him try and fail to flirt with the girl that approaches the counter to order. You’re enamored with him. There’s no other way to describe it. 

You have half a mind to run away, after what you promised yourself on prom night over a month ago. You’d done good, you didn’t search for him in the halls, you ignored him in your last couple of class periods with him. You’d even been in the bathroom when his name was called at graduation. 

But, here he is. Steve Harrington, absolutely obliterating his chances of getting a date with the girl ordering a sundae ahead of you. 

Honestly, you don’t know what you’re waiting for. Maybe an invitation? A sign from god that today’s the day that you’ll make a move? Or maybe this is just a test of will.

You stop resisting Shelly’s attempts to drag you along, and straighten your spine. You can do this. Four years’ worth of pining won’t make a difference in whether or not you order a strawberry ice cream cone.

He’s even prettier up close, his rosy cheeks framed by sunkissed, wavy hair. When he sees you he stalls, going a bit wide-eyed and then seeming to realize he’s supposed to do his job. He leans heavily against the counter. “Ahoy, ladies! Would you like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me? I’ll be your captain, Steve Harrington.”

“Uh-huh.” You stare at each other for a long moment. “How much do they pay you to recite that script?”

“Absolutely nothing, I do this for pure enjoyment.” You’re almost sure that he doesn’t. He pauses, a hand poised on his hip. “Too much?”

“I’d dial it back just a smidge. Maybe keep the ahoy and the captain thing and toss the rest.” 

“Noted.” He nods slowly, his eyes fixed on you. “I thought you were going to Chicago?”

“I leave the day after tomorrow,” you shrug. “Still time for me to burn the place down, you know.”

“Well, I’m glad you stopped by,” Steve chuckles. “I could show you where the gas line is, then we’d all be in trouble.”

“Oookay.” Shelly gives you a curious side-eye, and then turns back to Steve. “Well, I’ll have a U.S.S. Butterscotch with a chocolate dipped waffle bowl, if you don’t mind.”

Steve tears his eyes away from you long enough to grin at Shelly. “Coming right up. And for you?”

You freeze, glancing up at the menu. It’s written in an infuriatingly cutesy code-language that you have to decipher. “Um. I’m still deciding.”

“All right, then. Just let me know, when you’re ready.” 

Steve slips away to make Shelly her sundae, a heaping pile of ice cream and butterscotch syrup that looks like the fast track to a heart attack. You alternate between trying to comprehend the menu and being distracted by Steve in that stupid sailor’s uniform.

The script on the menu may as well be written in a foreign language. Blackbeard’s Delight. Treasure Island Turtle. U.S.S. Sherbet. The sizes are even harder to understand. Fathom. League. Nautical Mile. You don’t have the capacity to decipher it- your eyes are seeing the words, but your mind is traveling back to prom night, and feeling Steve’s finger on your cheek as you gear up to kiss him.

“Are you ready?”

“Mhm…” It takes you a second to zone back into the present moment, where Steve is standing in front of you, on the other side of the counter, waiting to take your order. He waits, with a patient smile on his face, while you blink dumbly at him.

What did you say? What did he say?

“I… um.” You’re sure you look completely out of it. Your eyes flick nervously up at the menu, that you still can’t fucking read. Shelly’s already gone to sit down with her sundae, the traitor.

“It’s kind of hard to understand, isn’t it?” Steve says quietly after a moment, dropping the phony customer service charade. “I hate it. I think we should just be able to say what our favorite ice cream flavor is and be done with it.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, still squinting up at the menu. Blackbeard’s Delight: blackberry swirl with blueberry syrup and a gold doubloon. “The fuck is a doubloon?”

Steve snorts, and reaches under the counter before bringing back a handful of gold foil-covered chocolate coins, which he dumps into your outstretched hand. “You want more? We get them wholesale.”

“I’m good,” you giggle, juggling the chocolate coins before they go cascading to the floor. “I think… I don’t… I don’t understand a thing on that menu.”

“What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?” He leans forward to ask you, like it's a secret. Just between the two of you. His head bent a little to peer at you closely, so close that you can count the freckles on his skin.

You glance over your shoulder. Shelly is seated by the far wall, under a painting of a kraken, giving you an indignant look. When she notices you looking, she mouths an emphatic, ‘LET’S GO!’

“Don’t tell anyone,” you whisper, and Steve affects his gravest expression as he nods. “Strawberry.” 

“A classic,” he grins. “Fan of sprinkles?” 

“I can dig a few sprinkles.”

“Perfect. I think we have something up your alley.” He grabs a scooper out of the bin and twirls it once, just to show off. “Sex on the Beach.” 

“What?” You don’t remember seeing anything about that on the menu.

He glances up to smirk at you before shrugging. “It’s strawberry ice cream with peach syrup. You’ll see.”

You keep an eye on his hands behind the glass partition, watching them put two scoops of strawberry into a medium sized carton. Completely unable to rein in your thoughts before they get away from you, you’re thinking about how good they would feel under your shirt. You follow a treasure map of freckles trailing up his arms, disappearing under the blue sailor’s shirt he wears. You want to kiss every single one of them.

You finally reply, “I guess I have to put my faith in your professional ice cream slinging abilities.” 

“Oh, haven’t you heard?” Steve mutters sardonically as he squirts peach syrup across the two scoops of ice cream, giving it a golden sheen. “I’m the king of cream.”

You purse your lips as it takes Steve a second to realize what he just said. When he does, he snaps his head up to meet your eye in horror. 

He opens his mouth to take it back, but you shake your head, holding back laughter. “Don’t ruin it.”

“I think it’s pretty much ruined already.” He turns crimson, blushing down at the half-made sundae as he rapidly shakes yellow sprinkles onto it. “I was doing so good, too.”

“Who says you aren’t still?” You give him a cute smile when he looks up through his lashes at you, still arranging toppings on the sundae. You’re not sure what happened between prom and now to change him so much, but it’s almost as if he’s… goofy. He’s less concerned with appearances, he’s more laid back and willing to make fun of himself. 

You like it a lot. 

You watch him plop two maraschinos onto one ice cream mound, and wedge a candied orange slice into the other, inverted, to look like a setting sun. As he passes it over the counter to you, he says, “Here you go, one Sex on the Beach. On the house.”

“What? No, I couldn’t-”

“I mean it. For overlooking my stupidity,” Steve insists. He gives you a meaningful look when he adds, “A million times over.”

“I’m not overlooking anything when it comes to you, Steve,” you tell him fondly, and drop one of the doubloons into the tip jar. It’s gaudy, gleaming artificially gold in the middle of the crumpled up dollar bills. “Hang onto that. You might be able to cash it in for a kiss someday.”

Steve blinks rapidly, leaning across the counter as you walk away. “After you come back from Chicago, right?”

You look over your shoulder, and you wink at him.

When you finally stop in front of Shelly, and you use your plastic spoon to dig into the adorable sundae that Steve crafted for you, you remember that you’d gone up to the counter with every intention of ignoring Steve and acting like you didn’t even know him.

You winked at Steve Harrington. You said you’d kiss him. You think back to the girl who was so afraid of Steve even noticing her, almost a year ago, and wonder where she went.

You look down at Shelly. She’d graduated a year before you, so she wasn’t there to witness every blunderous interaction you’d had with Steve in school. You never told her how in love you were with him.

Now, she looks up at you coyly. “So. Steve Harrington, huh?”

“Shut up,” you grunt, looking up and out at the food court outside of the Scoops Ahoy storefront. “As if you know everything.”

“Are you gonna try to make something out of that…” she gestures vaguely with her spoon toward the counter, “before school starts?” 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” you say honestly, still poking at your sundae. “Anyways, I leave too soon for anything to really happen. What- I screw him tomorrow and then fuck off forever? It’s just wishful thinking, probably.” You finally take a bite of the ice cream, just to punctuate your sentence.

“Hm. Probably. How is that?” Shelly nods at the ice cream in your hand. “Looks pretty.”

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” You’re being honest. Something about the peach syrup with the strawberry base literally evokes the flavor of a sunset. “They should give him a raise.”

Humming, Shelly stands and takes her half-eaten sundae. She nudges you in the direction of the door. “C’mon. We’ve gotta eat these before the next showing of The Breakfast Club.”

Steve watches you and your friend leave, with the wistful gaze of someone who just watched their greatest opportunity walk away from them. He never knew that it was possible to hate an entire geographic location, but he really wishes Chicago would get blown off the map in the next 24 hours. 

The wooden partition doors slam open, and Robin’s head appears in the window to the kitchen. “The cream king? Do you want me to actually hurl?”

“I said, ‘the king of cream,’” he groans, digging his knuckles into his eye sockets. “Kill me, Robin. Load me into the freezer. Bury me at the fairground.”

“You think you’re valuable enough to displace that much ice cream?” Robin rolls her eyes, and with another loud thwack, her white board appears in the space behind her. “We don’t make anything called Sex on the Beach. This is a family establishment.”

“I made it up.” 

Robin coos, “Aww. Be still my heart. You love her to the point of invention.” 

Steve whirls around. “Love? Who said anything about love?” 

“I did.” Robin uncaps her dry-erase marker and draws a tally mark under the side that reads, you rule.

“Uh, Robin,” Steve snaps, pointing at the board condescendingly. “I think you put that on the wrong side. I fucked it up.”

“Dingus. Please. As much as it makes me gag- and you know I gain immense pleasure from counting how often you screw up- I could practically hear her heart eyes.” She sets the white board down, begrudgingly. “I think you found the only girl alive who’ll find all this-” she waves her hand at him, “endearing. Who was she? Some ex of yours?” 

“If only,” Steve sighs, shaking his head. When he turns back to the counter, his eyes land on the single chocolate coin glinting in the tip jar.

He scoops it up with two fingers and pockets it.

You won’t believe half the things I see inside my head. Wait ‘til you see half the things that haven’t happened yet…

Family Video, March 1986

The air conditioning nearly blasts you backwards into the parking lot. You don’t know why they need it blasting so hard at 7pm, in the middle of March. It’s not like it’s the height of summer- your spring break takes place earlier than the local school’s, but it just means that you get to beat the crowds when you come home to visit your family.

Of course, they love to send you to run errands. You end up picking up the groceries, and the housewares, and, on this occasion, the choices for family movie night. 

This Family Video’s selection isn’t necessarily as extensive as the ones in Chicago, but it’s good enough. You enter the store, and it dumps you directly in front of a cardboard cutout of Phoebe Cates about to flash you. Family friendly entertainment, and all.

The TV in the corner is running the final scene of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly- Ennio Morricone’s score plays dramatically into the empty store. There’s no one behind the counter currently, so you pull the list of videos your extended family members had all requested. The Breakfast Club. Camelot. The Birds. Pretty general selections for your family, but it seems like you’ll have to hunt them up on your own. 

You’re wandering down the romance aisle, since The Breakfast Club was nowhere on the new releases or comedy shelves, when someone finally emerges from the back room. You see a flash of a head moving toward the front counter from over the top of a rack, and you take it as your chance to ask for help.

“Excuse me? Do you guys have any copies of The Breakfast Club, or-”

You stop short, choking on your words. Steve Harrington turns around to look at you, carrying a stack of VHS tapes perched under his chin, and holding a folded up piece of paper between his teeth.

You stare each other down for a second, before Steve gracefully spits the paper over his shoulder and onto the counter. “Hey, um… long time, no see?”

“I’d say.” You tilt your head. Funny how quickly your eyes will hone in on his lips, like searching for a target every time. “We always seem to run into each other like this. What happened to the ice cream gig?”

“Starcourt burned down,” Steve says, plopping the stack of VHS tapes down on the counter beside the paper he spit out. “Right around the Fourth of July, last summer.”

“So, right after I last saw you?”

Steve smirks to himself before he turns back to you. “Yeah. Like, a week or so after. Did you manage to burn the place down, after all?” 

“I wish.” 

You pause, taking the time to size him up. It’s amazing what the better part of a year will do to someone, inside and out. With a striped shirt and green vest, he looks much more relaxed and casual than he had at Scoops Ahoy. His hair’s a little longer, his eyes a little darker as they rake over you, in return. 

You’re a little bit desperate to see what’s going on in his head, if it’s anything like what’s happening in yours.

You wish you could say that you tried to seek him out when you got back to town- a year ago, maybe you would have. But you’d pretty much given up on the idea of him, moving up to dating college boys who don’t string you along, who don’t wait until the last minute to finally try their hand at flirting with you. If he ever passed through your mind, it was with the attached hope that he’d found greener pastures than Hawkins, Indiana. Foolishly, you hoped that as long as you told yourself that he’d moved on, it would be true. And then maybe what could have been wouldn’t matter anymore.

You’d stepped back into Hawkins after half a year of college, the graveyard of all hope in your happily ever after, and you hadn’t even thought of Steve Harrington. Except, seeing him now, everything comes flooding back. All the days spent pining over him. All the close brushes you’d had with finally getting the ending you wanted. 

You have to be honest. “You look good, Steve. You always do.”

Steve chuckles, tilting his chin down as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his light wash jeans. “Better without the sailor costume, right?”

“Aww, I liked the sailor costume.” You step closer so you can whisper, “I thought it was sexy.”

Steve peers down his nose at you, drawing himself up to tower above you at his full height. He tries to look unaffected, but you can see his ears glowing pink beneath wisps of golden highlights. “Watch it. You’re gonna give me an ego.”

“We don’t want that, do we?” You unfold the list of movies you’re here to collect, holding it up to him between two fingers. “Got any of these movies?” 

Steve reads the short list, and nods to himself. “I know we have Camelot, but I’m not sure about The Breakfast Club. Let me check in the back?” 

“I’ll be here.”

“All right- don’t get up to any trouble, though. I’ve got my eye on you.” He points at you coolly, feigning an authoritative expression. He tries to hide his smile, but the creases around his eyes give him away. 

“I hope you do.” You try to appear casual as you breeze past him, but you have to fiddle with your jacket collar to hide their shaking. Still, you feel the sweep of his gaze on you like rays of sun on your skin. It frightens you how easily you can fall back into the old back-and-forth routine you established in high school- how he gets you to say things you never meant to voice, but that live in your head effortlessly. 

Steve watches you disappear down the drama aisle before he takes in a huge breath of air and bolts toward the back room. Any and all coolness he was performing disappears like so much smoke. Slamming open the door, he nearly shouts, “Do you have a doubloon?!” 

Robin startles, swinging around in her seat, looking away from her computer screen. “A what? Why are you yelling?”

“A doubloon, a f-fucking-” Steve looks quickly over his shoulder, out the door, and starts hunching over as he whispers, “a chocolate coin. Like one of those ones we had at Scoops, remember?”

“Why do you want a chocolate coin?” Robin squints at him. “Stop crouching like that, you look like Nosferatu.”

Steve hisses through his teeth, and he’s got a frantic edge to his expression that Robin doesn’t like. “Okay- remember that girl, the one who showed up at Scoops that time, and you gave me my one and only ‘You Rule’ tally?” 

“No.”

“Great. Well, she’s here, and she told me if I gave her one of those chocolate coins she’d kiss me.” Steve shoves his hands through his hair, mussing up the already disheveled style. “Please, Rob, I can’t let her get away again. I’ve done it, like, a thousand times already.” 

“Okay, Romeo,” Robin humors him, turning around in her seat. “So you’re saying this babe, who I very much don’t remember because you always struck out while we worked at Scoops, told you that if you bribed her with chocolate she’d kiss you?”

“Yes.”

“And you don’t think she was maybe joking?” 

Steve opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. Truthfully, he hadn’t. He’d overlooked the idea that, after everything that had happened between you, you might just be joking about kissing him. 

“You know you could use your actual charm to get a girl to kiss you?” Robin dips her chin, shaking her head like it’s obvious.

Steve frowns. As if he hasn’t already tried that. “Do you have any chocolate coins or not?”

Robin sighs exasperatedly. “I don’t think I’ve seen one of those things since we worked at Scoops. Sorry, bud. You’re out of luck.” 

“FUCK!” Steve’s hand smacks the door as he heads out of the back room, making Robin scowl after him. She shakes her head as she turns back to her work.

Back out on the sales floor, the credits to The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly have finished, and white noise fills the empty space. Steve turns in a circle by the checkout counter, searching for you among the aisles.

Where did you disappear to, this time? A part of him dreads the answer. He was the one who fucked everything up- he shouldn’t have chickened out when he had the chance. He should have asked you to that fucking prom, but he was too scared to commit after what happened with Nancy. 

If this is his last chance, he needs to make it count. 

He coughs into the dead air, and says, “Looks like we’re all out of The Breakfast Club.” There’s a disconcerting amount of silence that leaves him cold, almost certain that you’ve left already, for the last time.

Then, you appear from behind the red curtain to the adult videos section.

Oh.  

“Everything okay?” you ask sweetly as you approach, holding a couple tapes that you must have picked up while you shopped around. “I heard some yelling back there.” 

“Oh, yeah. Just, uh… shelving issues.” Steve backs his way behind the counter. He repeats, “Sorry, I couldn’t find the movie for you.”

“I heard. I’m not worried about it.” You plop the tapes that you did find on the counter. “It was nice of you to look for me. Thanks, Steve.”

“Always.” Steve starts scanning your tapes; it looks like you managed to find the other films on your list, along with one for yourself. From the adult section. 

You watch in amusement as you can see the cogs visibly turning in Steve’s head, while he stares at the front of the porn video you picked. Spring Break Sex Party II. Not that you’d ever seen the first one, but the cover of this one was suggestive enough- a bunch of drunk people naked on a beach, lying in a great big pile. Looks like fun, in your opinion.

You always love seeing Steve blush. The prettiest shade of pink colors his cheeks before he glances up at you. “Should I ask…?”

“It’s the closest thing to getting a Sex on the Beach, here.” 

Steve chokes, and he scrambles for a response to that. “I- I was gonna ask for an I.D.”

“You know we’re the same age,” you deadpan.

“Y-yeah. I, uh- I know… I know that.” He hangs his head and pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyes tightly shut.

You wonder if this is what you looked like to him, that time in the hallway when he loitered by the fountain to talk to you. “Breathe, Steve.”

A blast of laughter leaves his mouth before he can swallow it. If only you knew how hard it actually is, to act like he’s not just fucking melting right in front of you. When he hangs on every word you say, and every other thought he has is about how badly he wants to tell Robin to get lost and take you in the back room. You don’t know how much he’s fixating on your curves and how they’d feel against him, how much he wants to taste every inch of your body. He’s practically vibrating in place with all his pent up frustration, and you’re here buying porn, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

Steve clears his throat, shakes his head. Christ. “Okay, well. You know that this is a sale item, it’s not for rent. You can return it within 10 days as long as the packaging hasn’t been opened.”

“I know.”

“Okay.” He’s still nodding as he puts it into the bag with the rest of your rentals. 

“Are you always this affected by people buying from the adult section?” you ask mildly. 

“Nah, usually I don’t care,” he replies without thinking. 

“Good to know that you care about my taste in pornography,” you tell him with the most shit eating grin on your face, taking the bag from him. “I’m flattered.”

He makes a clumsy noise in the back of his throat, somewhere between a laugh and a grunt. He’s right back to working at Scoops Ahoy, fumbling every attempt at flirting, losing his cool at the sight of a pretty girl. It’s… humbling.

He’s sure Robin would say that he can always use more humility.

“It was good to see you again, Steve.” And just like that, you’re sand slipping through the cracks in his fingers. 

Desperately, he tries to block the flow, closing his fingers around you in an attempt to keep you in his grasp. “Do you- uh-” He lurches forward, white-knuckling the counter like his life depends on it. You turn back towards him, an eyebrow raised at his sudden outburst. 

You’re back in the school hallway, senior year. Crying over Logan Sawyer. Harrington is up against the wall by the drinking fountain. You want him to just say the words and ask you to prom.

“I mean… if you have the time, while you’re in town… do you want to go for a cup of coffee? With me?”

“Oh, Steve.” You sigh, and it’s the most heartbreaking noise he’s ever heard in his life. Soft sand, falling through his fingers, disappearing back the way you came. He already dreads your answer before it comes. “I wish… you know, if I had come in here and met you about a week ago, I would have said yes in a heartbeat. But I have to catch the train back to Chicago tomorrow. My break’s almost up.” You offer him a reassuring smile. “I’m just glad that you didn’t completely miss me, at least.”

“Right, of course.” Steve smiles back at you, feeling more like an idiot the longer this drags on. He’s like Sisyphus rolling that rock up the fucking hill. “I… I’m glad I got to see you, too. Maybe next time.” 

Oh, it hurts. It hurts way more than you thought it would, to have to turn Steve down- after all the years pining for him through high school, after the time you turned him away when he would have kissed you. You think about kissing him, now. He would let you do it- he’s asking you out, and he looks so sad that you’re saying no.

You could. But wouldn’t it make saying goodbye this time even harder than it already is?

“Yeah. Maybe next time,” you tell him. You don’t want this to hurt more than it does. You truly hope there’s a next time, another year down the line when you run into him over winter break. Maybe you’ll find him at the Radio Shack. 

Steve watches you leave, once again. Fumbling his chance, again. When the door swings shut behind you, Steve bends at the waist and drops his head against the countertop. 

Typical Harrington. Late to the party, miss the girl.

“Well. That was… really painful to listen to.” Robin emerges from behind one of the shelves, crossing her arms. Gently, she adds, “On the bright side, I don’t think the chocolate coin would have mattered.”

Steve picks his head up, and he thwacks his forehead back down onto the counter.

And again.

And again.

And I can see you being my addiction, you can see me as a secret mission. Hide away, and I will start behaving myself…

Sur La Table Restaurant, Chicago, April 1991

You shake your umbrella out as you step into the warm foyer of, quite possibly, the most upscale restaurant you’ve ever set foot in. The carpet is deep, blood red, the walls a dark chestnut wood. The white covered tables are each spotlit within the otherwise dark dining room, and the atmosphere is flavored by soft piano and the quiet din of hushed voices. 

You had been hesitant to accept Theo’s invitation to dinner- he seemed too stuck up for your taste, but when Shelly introduced you to him, you had to admit that the name of the restaurant piqued your interest. Sur La Table. Chicago’s premiere Michelin Star restaurant. 

As you hand your umbrella over to the coat check clerk, you’re greeted by a smiling hostess. “What’s the name for the reservation?”

“Um… Theo Bowman. I believe he’s already here?”

“Yes, ma’am. Right this way.” 

Theo stands as you’re shown to the table. Tall, with dark hair and a wide smile, he reminds you of someone you knew once, but you just can’t seem to place it. Then, when he towers over you to shake your hand, standing far closer than necessary, you’re able to pick it out from the recesses of your mind.

Logan Sawyer.  

“You look nice,” Theo says pleasantly, and you chalk up your initial comparison to nerves, on your part. You don’t often let friends set you up on dates, so you’re a little bit out of your element as it is.

As you go to sit down, you admit, “I was so glad when you picked this place, I’ve always wanted to eat here, since I moved to Chicago.” 

“It’s not the nicest place I’ve been,” Theo shrugs, taking the seat across from you.

Your smile falters, for a second. “Oh, no?” The water has already been brought to the table, you guess while he was waiting for you. You take a long drink.

“Nah, I’ve been to Le Bernardin, in New York. That’s fine dining.” Theo waves his hand at the upscale dining room. “This is… okay.”

“I see.” You lift your menu, hoping that he’ll do the same.

“Yeah, New York is so much nicer than Chicago, in my opinion,” Theo continues, fiddling with his napkin as he talks. “There’s a lot more to do. Have you ever been?”

You hope this is just his nerves talking. “No.” 

Theo keeps talking as you stare at the menu in front of you, at a loss. It’s an a la carte menu, clearly, but extensive and all in french. Salade de poires pochées. Coquilles Saint-Jacques Gratineés. Filet au poivre vert. You’re scrutinizing the fine print of what all the dishes include when your waiter steps up to the table. You know when it happens, because Theo finally stops blathering about New York. 

You break your eyes away from the menu to glance at the server’s waistline, at eye level with you. He wears a crisply pressed suit and tie, his hands clasped in front of his belt. 

“Good evening sir, ma’am,” the server says in a hushed tone, to keep the volume of the dining room down. “Welcome to Sur La Table. I’m Steven, I’ll be serving you this evening. Before we begin, are there any questions about the menu?”

You peer up into the darkness to try to see Steven’s face. He’s standing just outside of the spotlight over the table, only able to be dimly lit from the indirect light reflecting from the tablecloth. Once your eyes adjust, they lock onto a pair of familiar hazel ones.

Oh my fucking god.

It’s got to be fate, or kismet, or some force of nature that keeps bringing you together like this. Steve Harrington’s face hasn’t changed in five years. Maybe he looks just slightly older, a little more filled out in his suit and tie. His hair is a bit shorter at the back but still that same shade of golden brown, neatly groomed and tidy for the formal atmosphere- but you can see it being tousled on his off days, still flopping across his eyes in waves. And those are the same lips you dreamt about kissing, the same eyes you admired in the school hallway, the same nose that you always wanted to grind o-

“No, I think we’re ready to order,” Theo announces, louder than necessary. You throw your gaze at him, your eyebrows raising despite your best efforts to remain calm. 

Is he really going to order for you? Just like that?

“Well, I was going to ask-” you begin, wanting to get a little more specification on how the filet is made, when Theo cuts you off.

“It’s okay, I speak French,” he insists. Not that it makes a difference to what your question was.

You press your lips together in irritation and glance at Steve, who looks back at you stoically. You wonder if he recognizes you like you do him- it’s been long enough, and you’re sure that you look a bit different than you did the last time you saw him. And then you notice the creases around his eyes.

He’s playing it off well enough, sure. But Steve is doing that same look that he did there in the Family Video five years ago, trying to pretend that he’s not affected by you, swallowing back his smile. He sends you a knowing look that says, What a fucking douchebag, am I right?

Suddenly, this date just got way more entertaining. You give Steve a minute roll of your eyes, only enough for him to notice. Tell me about it.

“We’ll start with the Bordeaux,” Theo is already reciting to Steve as you settle back in your seat. Steve pulls a little notepad out of his jacket pocket and begins writing. “For an appetizer, the coquilles. Then for the main, I’ll have the canard montmorency, and she’ll have the mignons de veau.” 

You watch Steve’s hand pause as he’s writing, and he looks to you. He raises his eyebrow, saying everything he needs to with the one gesture. Is that what you really want? “The veal?”

“No,” you say, digging your thumbnail into your palm, where it rests on your lap. “Actually, I wanted to ask about the filet. What brandy is the sauce made with?” 

Steve smiles, leaning a little bit closer to you. “We use Courvoisier.”

“Great. I’ll have that, please.” 

Steve nods encouragingly at you. As he jots down the order, he says, “Wonderful. I’ll get this to the kitchen for you, but before I can bring you the wine, I’ll just need to see the lady’s I.D.”

“Are you serious?” Theo snaps. 

“It’s all right,” you murmur, hiding your face as you dip your head to fish your I.D. out of your clutch. “He’s just doing his job. Right, Steven?”

Steve meets your eye as he takes the card from your hand. “You can never be too careful.” You watch him smirk as he looks over your I.D., his eyes lingering on your name for a second before he hands it back to you. If there was any doubt in his mind that you are who he thought, it’s gone now. “Interesting. We’re the same age.”

You laugh. Probably a little louder than is respectable, but you can’t help it. Leave it to Steve Harrington to remind you of the time you bought porn from him, while you’re on a date. 

You watch Steve write something else on his notepad, and rip the page out before folding it up. He tucks his notepad into his pocket as he says, “I’ll get this started for you. I hope you enjoy your evening.”

“Thank you, Steven,” you offer just as he starts to walk away. 

Steve shoots you a sideways glance. “Always.”

Your heartbeat pounds in your chest as you turn back to your date. Theo looks disgruntled, but he just lifts his water to his lips.

“So,” you begin, “what do you do?”

“Marketing manager,” Theo says, with a click of his tongue. “For Bowman Wine & Spirits.”

“Oh,” you nod. “No relation, I suppose?”

“My father owns the company.”

“Right.” God, help me. 

Across the dining room, Steve watches you over his shoulder. His jaw sets as he sees you, the girl of his literal dreams, sitting across from some idiot who doesn’t even know that you don’t order for your date without asking her what she wants first, you fucking weasel. 

That’s all right. You seem to have the situation under control, for now. Steve watches you calmly sip your water, staring at your date but not listening to a thing he’s saying. 

Steve sighs. He’s never been much of a schemer, but he’ll just make sure that you won’t leave with this guy if you don’t want to.

His fingers brush the note in his pocket, and he pinches it just as he passes the front of house manager, Taryn. Without breaking stride, he slips the note into her hand, heading toward the back hallway and down to the wine cellar.

As Steve passes by, Taryn unfolds the note he slips her, and raises one eyebrow at the request he’s written.

I can see you in your suit and your necktie, pass me a note saying, “Meet me tonight.” Then we kissed and you know I won’t ever tell…

Overall, you enjoy Sur La Table immensely. The restaurant itself, anyways. The wine is wonderful. The atmosphere is great. The food is exquisite. 

You’re about to jump the waiter’s bones. 

Theo got his second wind sometime after the scallops arrived, and you think he hasn’t paused for breath since. You’ve been calmly eating your food, while Theo tells you literally everything about himself. It’s the best case scenario you can see happening on this date. You enjoy the food, mumble a non-committal acknowledgement now and then, and Theo entertains himself with his own voice the rest of the time. 

You’re gonna kill Shelly for setting you up with him, but that’s tomorrow’s problem. 

Right now, you’re focused on finishing your glass of wine while he talks about camping, of all things. 

“So we got up into the Rockies,” he’s telling you, gesturing with his hands like it’ll make you more engaged. “We ended up freezing our keisters off. No joke, I have frostbite scars.”

“That’s, um… that sounds like fun.”

“No, are you listening? I mean, it was terrible. We couldn’t move for, like, two days. And when the snow stopped we were so tired and cold, we almost died.”  

You knock back the rest of your wine with one gulp, and say with a sticky voice, “Wow. A near death experience must have been really scary, I’m sorry.”

Theo frowns. “No- I mean… It wasn’t… it wasn’t near death-”

“You just said-”

“It was more like a serious inconvenience, you know. But we pulled through. I wasn’t scared. A little snow isn’t gonna kill me,” he laughs incredulously. “It was just-”

Theo stops as Steve approaches the table. You catch him giving the back of Theo’s head the most murderous look imaginable before slowing to a stop and plastering an easy customer service smile in its place. “How did you find everything this evening?”

“It was fine.”

“The food was wonderful,” you tell Steve reassuringly. Your date, on the other hand…

“Yeeeah, could we get the check, please?” Theo asks, finally looking up at Steve. 

You watch Steve’s brow twitch, such a small movement you could have imagined it. “Certainly. But first-” from behind his back, he reveals two white gift boxes and places them on the table in front of you and your date, respectively. “We like to give each of our customers a signature chocolate truffle, as a token of our appreciation.”

Everything in you aches. “Oh, that’s nice. Thank you so much.” You look down at the box in adoration, thinking for a second that it might be the only time in your life that Steve Harrington gives you something similar to a ring box. 

“I’ll be sure to have our hostess come through with the check,” Steve adds delicately, making a gracious exit. His finger just slightly brushes your arm as he passes by- a dangerous move, but one that nearly electrifies your entire body at the single touch. You shiver as he says, “Have a lovely night.”

You watch Steve walk away from you, and your heart sinks into your stomach. You want to chase after him. The 18 year old you, who almost kissed him on prom night, is trying to claw its way out of your skin and bolt after him. 

When Steve disappears from view, you have nowhere to look but at your date. Theo opens the white box in front of him and pops a neapolitan colored truffle into his mouth. “Well, that was underwhelming.”

You don’t want to watch him chewing anymore, like a cow gnawing on grass. You sigh, running a frustrated hand across your forehead, and flip open the box in front of you. The top of it rears up like a clam shell, and you freeze, your fingertips suddenly sticking to the sweat beading on your brow.

You don’t have a neapolitan truffle- you have a single golden chocolate coin. You stare at it in shock for a second before you even notice the note pasted to the lid of the box. 

Meet me outside- the door past the bathrooms. 

“Aren’t you gonna eat yours?” Theo asks suddenly, as the hostess approaches holding the check. 

Your eyes snap up just as your heart shoots back up into your chest. “I think I’m gonna save it for later.” You flash him a smile as you close the box swiftly and shove it into your clutch. “Do you mind if I hit the bathroom real quick?”

“No, go ahead. I’ve got it.” Honestly, it’s the kindest thing he’s done for you all night. You might have to thank him some day. 

Once you’re out of your seat, you chase after Steve like a shot. Around a block of tables and into a tiled corridor, you walk past the kitchen doorway just as another server comes backing out, carrying a tray of dishes. 

There’s a door at the end of the hall, labeled exit. You never actually thought you’d be escaping a bad date through the back door; the notion was too clichéed, you thought that sort of thing only happened in movies. But you find yourself nearly running past the men’s and women’s bathrooms, until your hands slam down on the bar of the back door and thrust it open into the wind. 

The rain has picked up, more of a downpour than a light drizzle now. In your haste, you’d left your umbrella and coat with the coat check. Not that it would have been at all discrete if you’d gone to collect it before running towards the bathrooms. 

The door clicks shut behind you, and you gaze around in the dark. The alley behind the restaurant is only partially lit by a yellow street lamp, making it even more difficult to find him than it was in the dining room. “Steve?”  

You catch movement in the corner of your eye, and turn in the direction of the street lamp. Steve stands up from where he’d been sitting on an overturned crate- apparently the only accommodations the restaurant staff gets during a smoke break. The rain has already soaked into his hair, messing up the tidy style and turning it stringy, falling across his forehead, shining gold in the yellow light. He takes one last puff of the cigarette in his mouth before tossing it into the gutter, and he looks at you. 

He sees you. And it’s all you’ve wanted since the day he first walked into your geography class, freshman year of high school. There’s been some kind of a magnetic pull between you two for years. Something keeps bringing you together, it’s just never been the right time. Until now. 

Finally, you’re running towards him, and Steve’s arms finally come around you, pulling you against his body. Your hands find the back of his neck just in time for his lips to crash against yours. 

You had lost count of the amount of times you watched him kiss other girls in the hallway in high school- not just Nancy, but any and every girl he attached himself to (for a while, it seemed like he couldn’t make up his mind who he was dating at any given moment). All you knew was that it was never you, and you wanted it to be so desperately that it consumed your mind half the time. He looked like a good kisser, and you fantasized about going up to him and testing that theory for yourself.

But you never expected that his lips would slide over yours with an urgency that you could feel through to your very core, probably even more desperate for your kiss than you are for his. Steve’s fingertips press into your body through the thin fabric of your dress, holding you firmly to him like he’s afraid you might disappear on him again if he doesn’t absorb you completely. Your mouth opens with a soft gasp, and Steve’s tongue against yours tastes like tobacco. 

It happens so fast that you can’t even think- and you don’t really want to. You’re tired of thinking everything through, finding reasons upon reasons why it’s not a good time, why it’s a bad idea, why it won’t work. He moans into you, grabbing the side of your face as he stumbles with you to the wall, pressing you up against the side of the brick building. 

You meet his moan with a whimper of your own as his hand slides down over the curve of your ass, and he hikes up the skirt of your dress to grab at your skin with abandon. There’s a ferocity in Steve’s kiss that you don’t know what to do with, like he’s trying to stake a claim to you right there in the rain, with no one around to see it happen but the moths in the street light overhead. Not that he needs to- he’s already got you. You already chose him. 

Steve gives you room to breathe with a soft sigh, his forehead resting against yours. “Been wanting to do that since high school,” he admits, just loud enough for you to hear, before pressing a featherlight kiss just beside your mouth, and again to your cheek.

“Y-you fffucking-?” you gasp when he latches his lips around a sweet spot on your neck and sucks. “I had such a huge crush on you, Steve.”

“I know. I- I should have- I should…” Steve drops his head against your shoulder and groans when your nails rake against his scalp. “Fuck.”  

He grinds his hips up against yours, biting your lip as the hard length of his cock presses up against your core. “Gonna fuck me in this alleyway, Harrington?” 

“I’m seriously considering it,” he growls into your ear. His lips find yours again with a passion, his hand holding your jaw still. A hot breath escapes him, pouring over your skin and making you shiver. You’re lightheaded, so close to just letting him do it, too, when the back door of the restaurant swings open. 

Steve still takes a second to pull away, a little too absorbed in kissing you to really care who sees him do it. If he had his way, he’d have everyone see that you’re his- that you belong with him, and have for a long time. He finally glances over his shoulder to see one of the cooks, Liam, walking off in the direction of the employee parking lot.

“Where did you get the fucking doubloon?” you whisper into his ear, sounding so fucking adorable that Steve can’t help the lovesick look he gives you. 

He brushes his nose against yours. “I sent my manager on a treasure hunt.” You giggle, pressing your forehead up against his, and he can’t help but chuckle along with you. “I wanted to give you one at Family Video, that time.”

“I know,” you say, and he pulls back to look at your face. “I heard you yelling at your coworker in the back room.” 

Steve snickers and turns red with embarrassment, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You run your fingers through his rain-soaked hair, a content smile on your face as you feel him grin against your skin and shake with laughter. “Take me home, Steve.”

You don’t have to ask him twice.

What would you do, baby, if you only knew? That I can see you throw your jacket on the floor, I can see you make me want you even more…

The drive to Steve’s apartment downtown is made with light conversation and the heavy, heavy weight of his hand on your thigh, creeping up further with each mile. But aside from the implication of sex hanging in the air, it’s as easy as breathing, chatting about the night with him. Shitting on Theo.

“Did you notice the way he said coquilles,” Steve murmurs to you at a red light. “I thought he was gagging on something. He was just trying to impress you, you know.”

You grunt. Could’ve tried a little harder. “He didn’t even like them. He said he didn’t like shellfish,” you laugh in return as you lace your fingers through Steve’s. “Why the fuck would you order scallops, then?”

“The price.”

“The price.”  

It’s sweet, talking to him all the way to his apartment building, just catching up like old friends. He tells you that he’s going to culinary school now, and he’s been working at the restaurant for a little over a year, just to pay the bills.

“Culinary school? Really?” you say, with a note of awe in your voice. 

“Turns out I’m really fucking good at cooking,” Steve chuckles. “Who’d have thought? Maybe someday I’ll stop waiting tables and work back there in the kitchen.”

“I can see it,” you tell him softly. “I can see you being the world’s best chef. Three stars and everything.”

He scoffs, but a pink blush creeps up the back of his neck. “You have too much faith in me.” 

“Those are fighting words, Harrington.” You wag your finger at him. “Throwing down the gauntlet?”

“You just want me to cook you something,” Steve tuts.

“Absolutely, I do.” You consider him for a moment, in the passing light of a streetlamp. “Am I that transparent?”

Steve tilts his head to eye you meaningfully, and he smirks. “Always have been, honey.” His thumb rubs a little circle on your thigh that has you squirming in your seat.

The first thing you see of Steve’s apartment is the kitchen, and beyond that the dormant living room, but you don’t get that far before you’re sidetracked. Steve throws his keys onto a drop station by the door, and pins you up against the refrigerator before you can even think to ask where to put your shoes.

Your clothes are still damp, your hair still pasted to your clammy skin. Steve’s lips are attacking yours and his hands are grabbing at everything he can touch, but it’s still not enough. He’s not able to feel all of you at once, and it’s driving him insane with every passing moment.

Steve roughly yanks his suit jacket off, throwing it onto the tile floor beside the kitchen island. “Lay down.” 

“What?” you whisper to him as he kisses your neck, guiding you away from the side of the fridge. “Here?” 

“Right here,” Steve states, not joking in the slightest. You wobble on your feet as you kick off your heels, but his hands on your hips keep you steady. “Been waiting too long for this- can’t wait anymore.”

“I- wwhuh-?” you gasp as Steve kneels in front of you, and your knees buckle involuntarily as he lays you down across his discarded jacket. Your hands grab his shoulders as you tumble backward, taking him with you. 

He face-plants into your stomach with a noisy, “Oof.” Cackling, you run your fingers through his damp hair, as he laughs and shoves his blushing face further against your torso. Steve litters your stomach with kisses, giggling against you with a note of nervous energy. He’s adorable.

You pet your fingers down the side of his face and he leans into the touch. “Can’t even wait long enough to take me to the bedroom?”

“Well, I would have fucked you in the alley,” Steve points out as his fingers breach the hem of your skirt and find your panties. He tugs as he says, “Be thankful I even got you home.” 

Your cheeks burn hot. You fidget, trying to press your thighs together to abate the throbbing ache between them. “Careful, baby. You’re starting to sound desperate.”

Steve pauses, his hazel eyes lighting up when they lock on yours. “Call me that again,” he requests, pressing a kiss to your ankle as he pulls your panties off your feet. He tosses them over his shoulder, but you don’t see where they land as he continues peppering kisses down your calf.

You hold his gaze. “Baby?” His eyes flutter, his lips parting as they drag up toward your knee. “You like when I call you that?”

“I like when you call me anything,” Steve admits. “But as long as you call me that, it means I’m yours.”

Your breath stutters in your chest. Steve Harrington is yours. It doesn’t matter if it’s just for tonight- what matters is that you have him now, and he wants you just as badly.

“You’re mine, aren’t you?” he murmurs quietly against your skin, his voice crackling with brimming need. He’s flushed, his cheeks pink and his hair drying in tousled waves over his forehead the longer he drags this out. 

Nodding your head, you reach down to lace your fingers through his, where they’re bunching your skirt up around your hips. “Yes, Steve.” Always have been.  

He turns his head and sucks a spot on your calf, just below your knee, resting your ankle over his shoulder. Still, despite your desperation, you nervously keep your thighs pinched together.

Steve tuts, “C’mon, baby, you’ve gotta spread your legs for me. You wanna let me see that pretty pussy, right?” 

Still clammy and cold with rain, the air on your exposed skin makes you shiver almost as much as his sweeping hands do when they gently part your thighs. You let go, let him take control as you still and keep your eyes focused on his face, because looking anywhere else would remind you that this is real, and not a dream.

Steve sighs, “There she is. Y’gonna let me taste you, sweetheart?” He bats his pretty eyes at you in a way that makes your heart stop dead in your chest. He can’t keep his mouth off of you, even for a moment, his lips and slight stubble dragging across your skin as he says, “Been wanting to forever, you won’t even believe-”

“Please, Steve,” you start to beg before he even finishes his sentence. “Please, my god, I- I just- I just want you so much-”

“Sh-sh-sh-shh.” His tongue licks wet and hot against your inner thigh before he whispers, “I’ve got you, baby. M’not going anywhere, I’m staying right here ‘til you cum.”

You’re instantly hot all over, your blood fucking boiling beneath your skin and your wet dinner dress. Steve’s fingers dig into the meat of your thighs as he yanks you toward his face, the fabric of his jacket beneath you audibly zipping along the kitchen floor. 

Steve dips his head, and his mouth closes over your cunt right at the same moment that yours falls open with a moan that won’t come out, because you’ve suddenly forgotten how to breathe. The noise stalls right at the beginning- your lungs stop working and you can’t seem to get them to start again, because Steve’s tongue is everywhere, dripping wet and gentle on skin that’s way too sensitive to handle it right now. Your hips try to jerk away from him in resistance, but he slams his hand down on them, holding you hard and still against the tile floor, his shoulders pushed up against the backs of your thighs to keep them open. 

Steve takes a break just long enough to grin evilly up at you, because he’s been waiting for five years to tell you to, “Breathe, sweetheart.”

“Fffffuck,” you manage to spit out finally, your voice cracking on the word like it didn’t even really want to put in the work to make it happen. Your breath comes back into your lungs all at once, rapid firing with a dozen moans for punctuation. Steve’s lips quirk against you, and he rumbles a noise of satisfaction against your pussy that makes you jolt in his hold again. “Steve…”

He pulls off of you with a slow, slow stroke of his tongue over your clit, making you whimper high and tight in your throat. “That’s it, baby,” Steve whispers, his breath fanning across your slick cunt, his left hand leaving your hip so that he can drag his knuckles teasingly through your swollen folds. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Feels so right.”

Two long fingers sink into you with ease, stirring the need in you to have him just simply destroy you. You moan loud, your hand shooting out and wrapping around the leg of a bar stool for the kitchen island beside you. 

“Poor thing’s just so sensitive, huh?” Your head arches backwards against the floor, your pussy clenching tight around his fingers as he curves them with practiced accuracy. Steve’s voice is a deep murmur, distant thunder rolling over your nerves, “Relax for me, honey. You’ve waited long enough, just let it happen. Let me give you what you want.”

His lips shine when you look down at him, your hand reaching to run through his hair. Stifling a whine that threatens to come out when he kisses your clit and bends his fingers within you, you stutter out, “J-just want… I- ha-ah! Just want you.”  

Steve purrs. “I know.” The crisp white fabric of his shirt scrapes against your thighs, almost rough in comparison to his tongue flat on your pussy. You can hear the wet, salacious sound of his fingers pumping into you, pulling you toward the edge of oblivion. He hisses through his teeth, shaking his head slightly. “God, I’m so fuckin’ lucky.”

“Y-you-?” you manage a laugh, scraping your nails along his scalp lightly. “You’re lucky? You have n-no… fffucking idea-” You cut off with a sob when Steve wraps his lips around your clit, sucking long and hard enough that your leg twitches, your heel dragging up the back of his pristine white blouse. Your breathing picks up just as all your muscles lock down tight. “Jesus Christ-”  

“There you go,” Steve praises as your orgasm shakes your body, your hand gripping his hair so hard that he groans softly into your damp skin. He doesn’t stop moving his fingers, lewd wet noises picking up and echoing through the quiet kitchen. “That’s a good girl. Mmm , felt so nice to let go, didn’t it?”

You don’t know if he really wants you to answer that- you’re still twitching, coming down from your high as he pulls his fingers from your spasming cunt and sucks them into his mouth. The pause gives you a gentle reprieve, sinking back onto his suit jacket beneath you. Then, his mouth finds your pussy again, his tongue delving deep into your entrance and laving up to your sensitive clit. 

You gasp, throwing your hands down into his hair. “Steve-?!”

He moans in response. “Just needed to taste you some more, honey. Taste so fuckin’ sweet, I can’t get enough.” Steve relents, crawling up your body to hover his face over yours. “Still wanna see the bedroom?”

You nod excitedly, your hands finding his smiling face and stroking the hair away from his eyes. With a gentle kiss of his wet lips to yours, Steve gathers your still-wrecked body into his arms and carries you into his bedroom. 

He’s struck by how blissful you are as he sets you down on his bed, so soft and inviting. He encourages your arms up, his hands finding the zipper of your wet dress and finally, finally, pulling it over your head so that he can see you. All your curves and edges on display for him, after all this time imagining what he couldn’t see with the naked eye. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Steve repeats what he told you all those years ago at prom- he meant it then, and he means it now. Maybe even more this time, now that he’s not a stupid teenager, now that he finally has his head on his shoulders. 

You shiver against him when he unclips your bra- black lace that matches the underwear sitting in his entryway. A possessive part of him rears up, knowing that you’d worn them to a date with some asshole who couldn’t treat you right, even for one hour of the guy’s miserable life. Steve dips his head and kisses your breast, so much softer now than he was before, feeling your heartbeat against his lips.

“Hey.” You gently tug him by his tie, loosening it and his collar. You look into his eyes, and his heart melts. “Where’d you go just now, sailor?”

Steve blushes, his eyes flicking down as you remove his tie and start unbuttoning his blouse. “Just thinking...” he trails off, eyeing you thoughtfully. “Just thinking I could have missed you again if I wasn’t careful.”

“Mmm,” you hum, your hands smoothing up his chest and over his shoulders to get his shirt off of him. It drops to the floor with a whisper. “I don’t think so. I think this was meant to happen, eventually.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You scrunch your nose cutely, in a way that makes Steve’s pants tighten even more uncomfortably across his hips. “We’ve run into each other too many fuckin’ times, baby. Karma’s on our side.”

He laughs. “Karma.” He shakes his head as he undoes his belt.

You quirk your brow at him as your hands fiddle with the fly of his suit pants. “Don’t believe me?” 

Steve grunts, shifting to lean over you. “I’ll believe anything you say when you’re taking my pants off, honey. I’m easy that way.”

Your nails rake through the hair on his chest- you can’t keep your hands off of him now that they’ve got him. You trace over two blotchy scars, one on either side of his torso that mirror each other. “What happened here?”

He blows a puff of air out of his mouth, rounding his cheeks as he shrugs. “Some… animals decided I looked really tasty, at one point. I know, they aren’t very pretty.”

Steve’s brushing over it like it’s nothing. You search his face, and you decide to do the same. “Actually, I think it’s kind of hot.” You drag your hand up to lay flat over his chest. You whisper conspiratorially, “Plus, I think you look really tasty, too.”

Steve quirks an eyebrow. “Y’gonna bite me about it?”

“Probably.” You wink. “Most likely.”

Your gaze falls indiscreetly to his cock, hard and flushed, glistening with precum and curving up toward his stomach. Girls talk, especially when they’re all trying to one-up each other; you knew that he was big. You’d heard the rumors. You’d seen him wearing those tight fucking jeans all the time, and you didn’t have to have much of an imagination to figure it out.

Still. It’s… a little overwhelming. You reach out a tentative hand, lightly wrapping your fingers around his base. They barely meet. Jesus Christ.

He groans, and kisses you until you can’t speak, resting his weight on top of you until you sink gleefully into the mattress. There’s a smile on your lips that transfers onto his, happiness and ease still flowing between you even as he grinds his hips up against yours. 

“Ready?” Steve murmurs softly into your mouth, stealing your breath when you feel his cock slide through your folds, hot and fat.  

“Dunno,” you tell him teasingly, but there’s an edge of reason to your words. Your hips squirm and you feel him even worse, slippery with your arousal. You whine. “I think you might kill me with that thing, Harrington.”

“I’ll go slow,” he whispers, hoarse in the back of his throat, his voice already shaking. “I’ll make sure you feel every bit of it, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agree as you reach to line him up properly. “I’m all yours.”

Steve gives a relieved sigh as he slides into you, his head falling heavily to your shoulder. His cock aches, his torso shaking as he tries to steady himself. “Oh my god.”

“Baby,” you coo, choking on a moan when he bottoms out. He’s so thick- your nails dig into his shoulder blades as you try to remember how to breathe. It’s certainly a big stretch to try to fit him, but you can’t help wanting more just as soon as he comes to a stop. You can feel him trying to hold steady, holding himself back as though it’s the hardest thing in the world for him to do. 

Because it is. You can’t see it, the way that his brow is furrowed in concentration, his eyes screwed shut. He didn’t know it would be like this- that he’d be in danger of blowing it just as soon as he started. 

Your heel digs into his ass, and he doesn’t know if you do it purposefully, but he almost whimpers.  

You take a shuddering breath. “Please- please move, Steve, I can’t take it.”

Oh, you can’t take it? “You know what,” Steve says with a hint of strain in his voice, picking his head up to nuzzle his nose with yours, “I think you like me.”

You snort, and kiss him lightly. “What gave you that impression?”

“Y’so fucking cute.” Steve hums and sloooowly pulls his hips back, dragging his cock through your walls so deliciously that your toes curl. “Could be all those times you stared at me in class-” He watches your face as he pushes forward, until his hips are flush with yours and your head arches backwards against his sheets. “Could be when you nearly let me kiss you at prom-” Out. In. Steve runs his tongue up the length of your throat, and bites at your earlobe. He whispers, “Could be that you came on my tongue ten minutes ago.”

He picks up his pace, just a bit. Just enough to have the bed creaking under you with the rhythm, to have you moaning in tandem with him- needy and high pitched, leaping from your throat into the hot, sex-charged air.  

Steve’s lips latch onto your neck, and he sucks hard. He eases up after just a couple seconds, dragging his tongue over the sensitive spot, but you know what he’s just done- he’s marked you, right where you won’t be able to hide it in the morning. 

You want him to do it all over your body.

Your jaw goes slack and you’re losing all integrity. He’s even better than you imagined- sleepless nights wanting, hoping endlessly that you’d find yourself here, under him, couldn’t have prepared you for how perfect it feels. His hand finds yours and laces your fingers together, pinning it to the mattress beside your head, squeezing with every slow and purposeful thrust of his hips. 

Steve’s cock finds your g-spot like it’s nothing, like he’s known your body for ages. He barely even has to try before you’re whimpering, raking your nails up his back and leaving long red trails behind. 

Your teeth latch onto his shoulder and you bite, probably harder than you should, but you just can’t refuse the urge to mark him the way that he’s left his mark on you. He moans, a deep and boyish sound in your ear, as you drag your tongue along his shoulder, soothing the bite, tasting his sweat. The salt and the sweetness of his skin, mixed with the heady smell of sex in the room, have you losing yourself in him.

“Biter.” You hear him chuckle dangerously, rumbling along your skin while his nose skirts your jawline. 

“You’re so good, Stevie-” you whine, hot pleasure rearing up in you like a tidal wave. “Oh, you feel so fucking good, I love- love how you feel inside me.”

Steve groans loudly into your shoulder, his teeth grazing your collarbone. You think he has a mind to bite you back- maybe he’d do it harder. You can see Steve drawing blood, when the mood suits him. 

But his hand squeezes yours, his other sweeping broadly up your thigh and hitching your leg up further over his hip. “Yeah?” His voice is rough, bordering on a growl, “What’d’ya say we stay like this forever, huh? Just like this?” 

His pelvis grinds up against yours, his pubes crushing against your clit making you gasp. Everything’s wet- your skin, his skin, the sheets. Sweaty bodies sticking and sliding against each other, your hips meeting his in the middle.

“Like this?” you gasp, your head reeling. His forehead presses against yours, and it’s just about the only thing bringing you back into focus. Steve doesn’t falter, keeping the same pace and rhythm while he watches you try to form a coherent reply. “Mm- I- I, hhuh-”

“C’mon, babygirl,” he breathes against your damp skin, “you can do better than that. You love my cock so much, you wanna keep it warm all the time? Wanna stay in bed with me forever, is that it?”

You nod fervently, your hands grabbing at his neck, his hair, his shoulder- anywhere you can touch. “Yes, yes. God, Steve, I- you’re gonna make me cum, shit-”  

“I know it,” Steve murmurs, tugging your lip between his teeth and making you whine again. Your cunt pulses around him, and he hisses, his hand slipping on your thigh. “Love seein’ you all drunk on my cock- shit, you’re so gorgeous like this.” He pauses to kiss you, making you lightheaded, making you tug at his hair. “Y’look so pretty under me, baby. Pussy feels so good, I wanna stay here, too. I can see us doin’ this for the rest of our lives, huh? How’s that sound?” 

How does it sound? You and Steve Harrington, together forever? Intertwined, knotted up with no way to lose each other, no disappearing and then reappearing years down the line?

“S’that a challenge?” you whimper shakily at him. “Throwing down the gauntlet?” 

“I don’t think I could let you go, now,” Steve tells you firmly, his hand leaving your thigh so that he can grab your jaw possessively, his tongue darting out to trace gently across your bottom lip. “I’m never gonna let you go, baby.”

You wrap your legs around his waist. “I don’t want you to.”

“I hope so,” he whispers, his breath mingling with yours.

Steve kisses you long and slow when you cum. You swallow his moans when he does.

What would you? Baby, if you only knew that I can see you, oh, I can see you…

You almost think it’s a dream. When you rouse in the morning, you feel like you imagined it. But you’re surrounded by the scent of Steve, of musky cologne and sweat and sex, and maybe just a little bit of hair gel stuck to his pillows. 

You flop over and stare at the ceiling. You’re alone in a king size bed, fitted with gray sheets and a few too many pillows. The other side of the bed is still warm, but your paramour is nowhere to be found. His bedroom is fairly stark, with a few little things arranged on the dresser top and clothes thrown around the floor. It doesn’t feel like a room he spends much time in, aside from sleeping and dressing in the morning.

You immediately think about what this all means for you. Whether he really meant what he said in the heat of the moment, if he really wants this to be a long-term thing or if it was just pillow talk. It doesn’t take you long to determine which one you want it to be.

There’s commotion on the other side of the closed door. You lean over the side of the bed, searching for something to put on before you just waltz out there naked. Ultimately, you pull on his blouse from last night.

You emerge from the bedroom squinting against the light in the room. The blinds in the living room are open, casting bright sunlight across the room and into the kitchen. You find Steve in front of the stove.

“Hey, there she is!” he announces happily. “Just in time for breakfast.”

Steve looks so comfortable in the kitchen, moving around quickly and efficiently, whereas you tend to blunder about. When you wander over to the island, you notice he’s already picked up his suit jacket, and laid it across the bar stool next to the one you choose. 

Your underwear is nowhere to be seen.

You grin at his back, plopping down onto the bar stool. The metal is cold against your bare ass, nearly making you squeal and jump back up. “Is it a Sex on the Beach?”

He laughs gleefully. “Nah, if only. How was that, by the way?” 

“The ice cream, or the porn?”

He turns to grin at you over his shoulder. “Both.”

He’s wearing glasses. Round wire frames that complement his face perfectly, making him look distinguished in his gray sweats and black t-shirt. Just like that, you’re spiraling. Suddenly, you’re picturing yourself being here, with him cooking breakfast in his glasses and PJ’s every morning, on and on into the future. Doing domestic shit, grocery shopping, dancing around in the kitchen at 3 am, kissing in the rain- well, you’ve already done that one.  

But you can see it. That future, with him by your side, it’s right there. You just don’t know if it’s the one that he wants. You don’t really know how deep this runs for him.

Funny what just an accessory can do to your train of thought.

“Um.” You swallow. What was the question? “The ice cream was great. Still the best sundae I’ve ever had, by the way. The porn was bullshit, I didn’t get through twenty minutes. I just wanted to make you blush.”

“Brat.” He spins around, and plates an omelet right in front of you. You watch his face, tracing the easy smile he wears. “I hope you like it- but if you don’t, you better not say anything. I don’t think I could handle the pain of your rejection.” He looks up at you, hazel eyes shining gold in the sunlight. “You’re staring.”

“I-” you blink at him. You don’t fucking say. You open your mouth to ask- you want to ask what this is, what he feels, did he mean it. Do you want to do this again? Is this serious for you? Because it is for me, if you want it. You just don’t get that far.

“You’ve been staring since we were fourteen,” he chuckles, sliding you a fork. 

That startles you. “Well,” you click your tongue. “I didn’t realize you were looking so closely.”

“Oh,” Steve shrugs, turning to place the pan in the sink. “Just since freshman year. When you read Juliet’s monologue in English class. Remember?”

You tilt your head. Vaguely. It was just a class project, where each person had to choose a Shakespearean monologue to recite in front of the class. You thought he only even became aware of you senior year.

Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee, Take all myself. 

“Are you telling me,” you say, palms flat on the counter as you peer at him incredulously, “you’ve liked me just as long as I’ve liked you?”

“Told you I’d get there, eventually.”

Your brain refuses to compute. You stare at his back, his tousled hair, and want to yank him toward you and squeeze him like one of those fucking squeaky toys that you get at the pet store. The ones the eyes pop out of.

Steve turns to you with a smirk, leaning across the counter to mirror you. He reaches forward to trace the mark he made on your neck, still tender, while mocking your pout back at you. His eyes crease at the corners, like they always do when he’s trying to be coy.

“Eat your breakfast, baby. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

(I see you, I see you, baby.)

[fullsunstrawberry]

Waittt you gotta continue with what happened after haechan dressed up as the pirate 🫣

Haechan Doppelgänger (part 2)

(Click here for part one)

word count: 1.9k

cw: Pure Smut! No plot (unless you read the first part), teasing, cursing, shitty pirate talk, cunnilingus, no condom mentioned, cumming inside, and more

authors note: Loooong overdue but you ask, I deliver MWAH 💋 here you go ;)

[nct dream masterlist]

Haechan stared at the text, heart pounding.

When the doorbell rang an hour later, Haechan was pacing in his living room. The costume had arrived thanks to express delivery, and he was now dressed as a pirate, feeling equal parts ridiculous and smug. The ruffled shirt hung open at the chest, the black pants clung to his legs, and the boots added a couple of inches to his height. He even put on a faux leather belt with a plastic sword tucked in for good measure.

When he opened the door, You stood on the other side, wearing a big T-shirt and pajama pants, expression shifting from skepticism to sheer amusement. “Oh my god,” you said, laughter bubbling up uncontrollably. “You actually did it.”

Haechan leaned against the doorframe, trying his best to look cool. “You said you’d sleep with me if I dressed like this,” he said, his voice low and teasing. “So, here I am.”

You stepped inside, closing the door behind you. Crossing your arms, your gaze sweeping over him. “You look ridiculous,” you said, though the slight redness climbing your neck gave you away.

“Ridiculous enough to follow through on your promise?” he shot back, raising an eyebrow.

You hesitated, confidence slipping as you realized you might have underestimated the effect of your teasing. There was something about the way Haechan looked in that costume—like he’d stepped out of a cheesy porno.

Haechan watched you closely, the corners of his mouth tugging into a grin as you hesitated. You were flustered—a rare sight for someone so quick with your comebacks.

“Cat got your tongue?” he teased, adjusting the plastic sword at his hip for dramatic effect.

You narrowed your eyes at him, the competitive side kicking in. “You think you have the control, pirate boy?” You shot back, stepping closer. “Let’s see if you’re as bold as you’re acting.”

The shift in the air was noticeable. Haechan’s grin faltered for a split second as you invaded his space, your chin tilted up. His pulse quickened, and though his teasing had been in good fun, he suddenly wondered if he’d bitten off more than he could chew.

“I didn’t buy this costume for nothing,” he replied, his voice softer but no less confident.

“Oh, I can tell,” you said, gaze flicking to the open collar of his shirt. Your teasing grin returned. “You even left the shirt undone. Nice touch. Adds to the…realism.”

Haechan chuckled, his confidence returning. “Well, is it working? Are you getting all worked up?”

You rolled her eyes, but the smile played on your lips. “Fine,” you said, crossing your arms again. “Prove you’re not just a guy in a costume. Give me your best pirate impression, and maybe I’ll follow through with it.”

Haechan’s brows shot up. “You’re joking.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” You challenged, cocking your head.

For a moment, he hesitated. Then he stepped back, pulling out the plastic sword with a dramatic flourish.

“Aye, lass,” he roared, adopting the worst pirate accent you’d ever heard. “Ahoy there, love. Ye stand before the most daring swashbuckler to ever conquer the seven seas—and hearts. Careful now, or I might just plunder more than yer treasure tonight!.”

You doubled over in laughter, clutching your stomach. “Oh my god, Haechan, stop! That’s terrible!”

He pointed the sword at you, his grin widening. “Terrible enough to make ye surrender?”

“Surrender?” You managed between giggles. “Never!”

“Then prepare to be boarded!” he declared, dropping the sword and lunging for you. You squealed, trying to dart away, but Haechan was quicker. He grabbed you by the waist, spinning you around until they both collapsed onto the couch in a heap of laughter.

“Okay, okay, I surrender!” You said breathlessly, still laughing.

Haechan hovered over you, his hands resting on either side of you. The laughter faded, replaced by a silence that buzzed with unspoken tension. His eyes searched yours, the teasing glint replaced by something softer, more earnest.

“Still think I look ridiculous?” he asked quietly.

Your smile softened, hand brushing against the ruffled fabric of his shirt. “Maybe a little,” you admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

Haechan smirked, leaning down just enough to close the gap between them. “Good thing I don’t care what you think,” he murmured.

Before you could respond, his lips met yours in a kiss that was equal parts playful and demanding. You froze for half a second before melting into it, your fingers curling into the fabric of his costume.

When they finally broke apart, you both were breathless, faces inches apart.

“Guess the costume wasn’t such a bad investment,” Haechan said, his voice laced with victory.

You laughed, shaking her head. “Shut up, pirate boy.”

And for once, Haechan happily obeyed.

Laughter still hung in the air as Haechan's gaze searched yours, a silent question passing between you. Without a word, he leaned in again, capturing your lips in another kiss that was filled with a newfound hunger and desire. The playful banter was forgotten as the heat between you intensified.

With unspoken agreement, you both rose from the couch, lips never breaking contact as you made your way to the bedroom.

Haechan's hands were gentle yet firm as he pressed you against the bed, his eyes never leaving yours as he slowly lifted up your shirt. He let out a low groan as he saw you weren’t wearing a bra.

Your hands reached to finish umbutting his shirt.

“got to get this awful costume off you.”

Haechan chuckled, helping you tug the ruffled shirt off of him before pulling you into another kiss.

“Thought you liked this pirate costume?” He teased, between kisses.

You playfully swatted at his chest, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "I like what's underneath it better," you replied, hands tracing the muscles beneath his skin.

Haechan's breath hitched at your touch, his eyes darkening. Without breaking eye contact, he reached for the strings of your pants, slowly pulling undone and down your legs. You kicked them off, never once looking away from him.

Your hands grabbed at his belt in a hurry, fumbling with the buckle in your eagerness. Haechan's grin widened at your impatience, his breath was hot against your skin as he helped you undress him.

After most of your clothes were thrown on the ground, Haechan took a moment to look at you.

“Fuck…” He groaned “You look so fucking good.”

You felt a rush of heat to your cheeks as you met Haechan's gaze, knowing that he was referring to more than just your appearance. Your heart raced as his hands traced the curves of your body, his eyes never leaving yours.

"You have no idea how much I need you right now," Haechan whispered, his voice rough.

“Than hurry up and fuck me already!” You demanded, your voice shaking slightly. Haechan's eyes widened at your boldness, but he didn't hesitate. His hands gripped your hips as he moved to plant his face near where you needed him the most. Planting soft kisses on the inside of your thigh.

“Haechan…Stop teasing me.” You moaned out, your hands gripping his hair. “I need you right now!”

Haechan grinned against your skin, “Be patient baby, I’m going to make you feel good first.” He whispered, right into your ear.

You couldn't help but moan at the sensation, your hips bucking against his touch.

Haechan's hands grabbed at your thighs, pushing them apart. He leaned in, his breath hot against your skin as he traced soft kisses up and down your thigh. Your heart raced as you felt the anticipation build.

Haechan's fingers gently touched at your entrance, teasing you. Your moans grew louder as he continued, his fingers deftly preparing you for what was to come. Your hips bucked against his touch, desperate for more.

Finally, Haechan slid them inside of you. You cried out in pleasure, your hands gripping the sheets as he began to move inside of you, adding another finger. Each thrust sent waves of goosebumps down your, your moans growing louder with each passing second.

Adjusting your thigh for a better angle, Haechan trailed his lips over your most sensitive spots, teasing with soft nips and lingering kisses.

Haechan’s fingers moved in and out of you as his lips roamed, each touch sending shivers through you. You cried out, gripping the sheets while he kept teasing and pleasing you.

"Haechan… I can't take much more…" You whimpered, the pleasure building deep inside you.

"That's okay sweetheart," Haechan murmured against your skin, his voice deep and husky with desire. "I want you to enjoy this."

Haechan began to move faster, his fingers thrusting in and out of you harder as his lips continued to work their magic. You were on the edge now, every touch sending you closer to the edge.

"Haechan, I'm going to-" You cried out, your body trembling.

"It’s okay baby," Haechan whispered, his voice rough, "Let me see you cum for me."

And just like that, you let go. Pleasure washed over you in waves, your body shaking as you cried out in ecstasy. Haechan's fingers continued to thrust inside of you, milking every last drop of pleasure from your body.

Finally, he slowed down, pulling his fingers out of you gently. You collapsed onto the bed, panting heavily as you caught your breath. Haechan's eyes never left yours as he leaned in for a soft kiss, his hands gently tracing along your side as he did so.

"That was fucking amazing," you whispered against his lips.

Haechan laughed softly, his eyes soft and full of affection. "We’re not done yet." He murmured, gently kissing your forehead. "Are you ready?"

You nodded eagerly, “Please!”

Haechan’s eyes were full of longing as he slowly removed the rest of his clothes, leaving him completely naked. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding as he moved closer, crawling on top of you.

“You sure?” he asked, his voice low.

You nodded, biting your lip as you felt him position himself at your entrance. “Stop teasing me and fuck me.”

Without another word, Haechan thrust inside of you in one smooth motion, filling you completely. You cried out in pleasure, your body adjusting to his size.

Haechan's lips crashed into yours as he began to move inside of you, each thrust sending pleasure coursing through your body. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as it built inside of you.

Your moans echoed around the room as he continued to thrust, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Fuck me harder," you pleaded, your voice shaking slightly.

Haechan's eyes darkened at your request, his movements becoming more aggressive. You felt a new wave of pleasure build inside of you, your body desperately needing release.

"Shit, I'm so-so close," you cried out, your hips bucking against his.

"Wait," Haechan gasped, his thrusts becoming more rushed as he tried to push himself deeper inside of you.

Finally, you reached the edge, your body trembling as pleasure washed over you in waves. "Haechan, I'm gonna cum!"

Haechan's eyes rolled back, his own orgasm building inside of him. "Cum for me," he urged, his voice deep and hoarse.

You cried out as your orgasm hit, your body shaking uncontrollably beneath him. Haechan's eyes were filled with desire as he watched you cum.

His name escaped your lips as each wave of pleasure crashed over you. Haechan's own release was close. He thrust hard one last time, groaning as he came deep inside of you. Your eyes never left his as he rode out the aftershocks of his own orgasm, his breath hitching in rhythm with his movements.

After a final kiss to your lips, he collapsed beside you. Both of you panting heavily. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close as he kissed your forehead.

"Express shipping was so worth it."

nct dream/general taglist: @johnnysuhbmarine @haechansbbg @chenlesfeetpic @lostinneocity @naqkja @anaisalive @jaeminnanaaa17 @zen00016

[voluptuarian]

Sometimes I just want to enjoy some new Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass-inspired media, but somehow every single adaptation seems to be a version of one of these

straightforward adaptation of the book(s)

mental illness metaphor (clever)

mental illness metaphor (tacky)

Oz and Wonderland exist together somehow

YA #dark #fantasy #royalcore series

claims to be inspired by the book(s), actually based on the Disney movie, no one involved has ever actually finished either

porn

manga/anime with little resemblance to the original plot and every major character is a hunky man for some reason

Disney-branded cash grab ahoy!

Dark and Edgy (and probably perverse) "subversive" or horror retelling

Hot Topic Aesthetic™️

Combination of two or more

pretty sure you could do just a drinking game of Alice adaptation tropes, pick literally anything, and be drunk out of your mind in no time. Drink when there's:

asylum

harem situation

"killing game" (for some reason??)

red queen/queen of hearts conflation

"the real story"

grouped with traditional fairy tales???

"it's not 'Wonderland,' it's [insert similar-sounding but darker alternative term]"

something victorian patriarchy something something corsets hysteria something something

scheming royal families

drug metaphor

Not saying none of these ideas has been done well, but they've all been done, many times! I just think there are far more interesting possibilities out there that aren't being pursued. Jabberwock as Arthurian questing beast! Card kingdom courtroom drama! Genuinely deep fantasy world building exploring the reversed time-space dynamic in Looking Glass Land! DO SOMETHING INTERESTING WITH IT BY GOD

[jellyfishsthings]

Stolen moments...

Warnings: nothing much, typical stranger things plot, Steve being a cutie ... I guess that's that

navigation

Let’s be honest, before everything happened, Steve Harrington was the last person you’d ever picture yourself associating with. King Steve, the preening jock, the guy who seemed perpetually stuck in a hair commercial – your paths simply weren’t meant to cross. Your life was filled with… well, you. You had your own pursuits, your own interests, and a distinct aversion to the kind of superficiality Steve seemed to embody. You had far more pressing things to occupy your mind, far more important battles to wage in the mundane world. Dating the popular guy or even just hanging out with him, was never really on your to-do list. That was until Hawkins decided to rewrite the rules of reality and throw you headfirst into a nightmare you never asked for.

It started subtly, didn't it? A strange feeling in the air, whispers of things unseen, and then, bam, you were dodging interdimensional monsters like it was normal Tuesday. Not that it was ever normal. You remember the first time vividly, the sheer terror as you faced those grotesque, shadowy creatures. The memory still makes your stomach churn, a cold dread that settles deep in your bones even now, during the day. You fought back, yes. You even, to your own twisted surprise, managed to take down a few of them. But those battles came at a cost. The image of their inhuman forms, their chilling screeches, they replay like a broken record behind your eyelids.

Sleep became a battlefield of its own. Night after night, they return, the grotesque entities that haunt your dreams, a grim reminder of what lurks just beyond the veil of the ordinary. The exhaustion became a physical thing, dragging you down like lead weights. And it was visible, dark circles now a permanent fixture beneath your eyes, a stark testament to the horrors that kept you awake in the stillness of the night. These weren't just bad dreams; they were a symptom of a war you'd found yourself unwillingly conscripted into.

And this is where Steve Harrington, the very person you’d deemed inconsequential, started to surprisingly weave himself into the narrative. You hadn't noticed it at first, all you could think about was putting one foot forward, making it through each day without breaking down. You were so focused on the immediate horror that you didn't notice the subtle shifts in routine, the small, almost imperceptible gestures.

It started, ironically enough, at Scoops Ahoy. You were treating yourself, trying to find some semblance of normalcy in a double scoop of strawberry, when you noticed an extra cherry nestled among the ice cream. Just one. Odd, you thought, it never had more than one cherry before. You shrugged it off as a random act by a distracted employee, but the next time, there were two. Each subsequent visit saw the cherry count incrementally increase, making you realise someone was intentionally – and meticulously – adding them to your treat. You glanced up at the counter, catching sight of Steve, his gaze averted, pretending to scrutinize the ice cream flavours. But he couldn't hide the tiny flicker of amusement in his eyes when yours met his.

After that, it became a game of sorts, a quiet acknowledgement that something was amiss and in that shared awareness, a strange sense of comfort began to form. It wasn't a grand declaration, not a full-blown heart-to-heart; it was a silent understanding. When you went to the mini-market for those late-night supplies, he would just happen to be there. It wasn't a deliberate or a planned 'meet-cute' type of thing, more of a casual encounter disguised as happenstance. He'd “accidentally” bump into you by the frozen food aisle, offering a brief, “Hey, how’s your day going?” with a nonchalance that would make an actual accident look theatrical.

It was ridiculous, the way he tried to feign ignorance. It was as if he was playing a role in his own bad rom-com, but it worked. It was a welcome distraction from the internal chaos raging within your mind. Each encounter, no matter how clumsy or poorly executed, was a gentle reminder that life hadn't completely succumbed to the darkness. It was a small, almost insignificant kindness that made a world of difference in your current, messed up life.

He never pushed, never pried. He didn’t ask about the nightmares or the reason for the dark circles that had become a part of your physical makeup. He didn’t need to. He knew, somehow that the mere knowledge of your struggles was enough to drive him to help. He didn't try to be a hero, or a saviour. He didn't offer empty platitudes or hollow reassurances. Instead, he offered something far more valuable: a sense of normalcy, an assurance that sometimes, life could be as simple as extra cherries in your ice cream or a casual "Hey" at the mini-market.

This was Steve, the King turned reluctant guardian, the one person you never expected to understand, now quietly trying to soothe the very wounds he couldn't even begin to see. It was a peculiar kind of comfort, hidden within his awkward attempts at nonchalance, a silent testament to the unspoken bond that had inexplicably formed between you.

You might still have a hard time processing this new reality of the world, where monsters lurk in the shadows and seemingly trivial encounters can become a lifeline. You’re still trying to understand the depths of this unexpected war you’ve been pulled into. But there is one thing you know for sure, that even in this chaos, you're not entirely alone. Steve, in his own clumsy, endearing way, is there, a quiet presence offering a much-needed reprieve, proving that sometimes, the most unexpected connections can be the most meaningful, and that the true measure of a person isn't in their crown, but in the small acts of kindness they offer in the dark. You never thought you'd say this, but you're glad he's there, even if it’s just for the extra cherries.

[lunarriviera]

Personally, i think modu should've had more love/bedroom scenes between lwz and fd..needed to know more about their sex lives lol their dynamic is so fun 😄

i mean…i'm a brainless funü so ofc i'm gonna agree. and i know we would each give up a limb if pei su and weizhao would just hug.

AND YET! there's an healthy amount of well-written fanfic about the pornographic things they get up to; and also, i SO ADMIRE how priest handles it in the novel, operating as she does under the constraints of jjwxc and the constant threat of arrest, while also making millions and selling the rights to at least three live-actions. consider how much luo wenzhou gets away with, when it's only described elliptically? A LOT OKAY. HE GETS AWAY WITH A LOT.

it's like a brilliant work on paper—just a few lightly sketched lines and we can see the entire landscape. i will only mention two scenes here because they're my favorites, but, you know. spoilers ahoy!

first, think about that entire sex scene in book 5 where lwz holds fei du up against a door, interrogating him closely, and the reader barely gets a handful of words to put together what's actually going on. but once you realize, it's incendiary. lwz opens fei du's bathrobe with his teeth…does something that makes fei du's sentence break off with a hiss…touches him "somewhere that makes him stiffen all over," after which there's "clutching the tender flesh between his legs," followed by "grinding back and forth…" and then, dazzlingly, the entire act gets summarized with just two devastating words: "negative distance."

then, remember the scene in the drama where fei du and lu jia (du jia) sit in the car talking, and lu jia speaks about trauma, and never being normal again, and fei du gives his terrifying little "i am the abyss" speech? after that he drives lwz home, and this happens on the way:

lwz says a few things about the case, while fei du tries to figure out what's going on, since the last time he saw lwz they disagreed:

priest is oblique here, but the "scrounging hand" clearly starts out underneath fei du's shirt and winds up much lower down, since fei du suddenly has trouble driving. lwz is underslept and exhausted and working the worst case of his career but he's also shamelessly sensual, and completely in love, and all he wants right now is fei du in his mouth, and in the meantime he'll make do with the taste of his skin and his sweat. i'm sorry but is that not insanely hot, the first time i read "then lick his fingers" i think i melted. DRIVE FASTER. I'M STARVING. (plus there's so much contained in fei du's little: "...")

i simply think that mo du is overwhelmingly erotic while at the same time not crossing any censorship lines, technically. we already know she's a genius at plotting and characterization and prose style etc., but pipi's a genius at writing sex, too. she's more about deeply romantic eroticism than pornography, but even despite all that "fade to cat" we're left under no illusion about the ways in which zhoudu, who tried for so long to play it so cool, are now utterly and blatantly sexually obsessed with each other. and i think that's beautiful. :')

[xxoldmakeupshimmerxx]

{NSFW / 18+} One Shot

Summary: You plan on leaving the WLF and you finally taste freedom until Ellie finds you.

Warnings: Smut with plot. Alcohol. Being drunk. Cussing (uh oh). Lesbian sex (shocked). Ellie being a bit rough.

Author's Note: Smut Ahoy!

Ellie photo credit to Tpicsl on Pinterest.

“Lone female trespasser in the subway tunnels. We are in pursuit over,” your comrade radioed in. The red flare spilled its crimson light throughout the tunnel. You hesitated following behind your small group of four. ‘I did not sign up for this shit,’ you thought as you held your pistol with both hands, ready to shoot. You haven't been with the WLF long but Isaac knew how to keep a stick up everyone’s asses. You didn’t sign up for war, or to track down this trespasser, but you were desperate enough for food and shelter. You figured you’d play nice and then defect- alone.

Crash  

A glass bottle is flung into the air and crashed by your feet. The immediate sound of clickers waking up and their wailing echoes throughout as they stammer towards you and the team. “Shit here they come!” You and your team shoot. “NO! NOO!” one comrade goes down, a clicker beating them down, breaking their mask, and tearing out their jugular. You shoot it. Your team isn’t doing so well and you see them pinned down and beaten by clickers. “I didn’t sign up for this shit,” you reload and hide behind a crate. More shots are fired and you look out from behind the crate to see one comrade getting up. “Fucking clickers.. Fucking trespasser,” you here them say as they look around. You think about hiding until they leave and officially defecting. He goes to reach for the radio when an arrow shoots him right in the throat. You fall in a cold sweat and watch him collapse, gargling up blood and pooling it in his mask. 

You weren't alone. Finally, you hear the grunt of a female coming out from behind the broken train. “Fucking wolves,” she hisses in her mask and walks over to the corpses to scavenge. You pray that she leaves so you can be free of all this bullshit. “Hmph,” you hear her say, then kicks one of the bodies before leaving through an emergency door. You wait a few minutes before reemerging. Bodies on the ground. “Come in group 2 over! Do you read group 2 over?” You heard over the radio. It was time to finally go.

You leave through the emergency exit leading to a stairwell that ascends up to another door leading outside. You were relieved you made it out. You took off your mask. “Don’t move,” you froze. You slowly put your hands up and looked over at her. She was waiting for you behind a bush and now you were in point-blank range. “You scream and I fucking shoot you, understand?” You looked her up and down through furrowed brows. “Yes.” you replied sternly. She was covered in blood on one side. Her eyes were a light green, contrasting against the blood and burrowing holes in your head. She slowly stepped closer, “Don’t. Move. Don’t. Scream,” she growled. She slowly took something out from behind her, “Hands behind your back.” Just when you thought you were free, you’re getting pinned and hands tied against a wall. “I’m not with the wolves!” you pleaded, “Not anymore! You’re after wolves right? I’ll cooperate-” she tightens the rope, grabbing a fistful of hair, and yanking your head back. “What did I just say?” she said by your ear through gritted teeth. You gulped, “Don’t move. Don’t scream,” your voice quieter, compliant. “Good,” she yanks you away from the wall, “You’re going to start walking. If you try to run, I’ll shoot. Scream, I’ll shoot. Or leave you to the infected,” she has her hand on your shoulder and leads you out the alley. 

“Anymore of you fuckers coming this way?” 

“Yes.”

“Then take a left,” and you do.

You walk for thirty minutes before she decides to push you into a theater. You’re on the ground as she locks the door with a chair. She turns to face you as you lay on your side. She finds another chair and sets it up next to you facing the bar. She pulls you on it and starts to tie your ankles. You wanted to protest but weren't sure how, “H-hey,” your voice was soft, “I won't be any trouble I swear..” but she didn’t look at you. You smelled the soft fragrance of cologne coming off her which you did not expect. She tied you to the chair by your ankles and arms. She dropped her bag and went over to the bar, grabbing a small bottle of something. She came back over to you holding the bottle to your lips, “Drink.” You took note of her tattoo as you smelled the pungent alcohol. Your face was laced with concern, ‘This is going to be my last drink,’ you thought. You accepted the bottle and she poured a good amount into your mouth. You swallowed hard and felt the burning as it went down. You coughed. She pulls up another chair in front of you and scoffs before sitting and drinking some herself, “Drink much?” she asks as she man spreads. You don’t respond. “Now,” she starts and takes her knife out, “Where’s Abby?”

‘Fuuuuuck,’ you thought. Abby was like a princess to the WLF and you didn’t know why. You were staring back into her green eyes, “I don’t know.” She frowned, not liking your answer. She grazed your thigh with the tip of her knife then held it at a point where she felt was suitable for puncturing when she saw fit. You gulped and visibly started to shake. “Don’t make me regret not shooting you. Tell. Me. Everything.” And so you did:

“S-she went AWOL earlier today. Last seen at the hospital.”

“Nora was there right?”

“Yes, but not anymore. They loaded their stock and went back to the stadium.”

“Owen?”

“He went AWOL two days ago.”

She thinned her lips and looked down at the knife.

“But Mel,” you started and thought back to earlier that day, “Mel and Owen are expecting a baby. She was interrogated and didn’t know where Owen was, or didn’t say. But I overheard Nora and Mel talking about the aquarium. I would check there.”  

She removes the knife and pulls out her map confirming the location. You sighed in relief. “Why are you leaving the wolves?” she folds up the map, green eyes watching you for an answer. “I was alone and hungry when I joined a few months ago, but this group is at war and I’m forced to risk my life as a low rank member. I’d rather take what I need and leave before I die fighting in a useless war.” She squints her eyes at you and leans in holding the edges of your seat. The faint scent of her cologne revisits your nostrils and your lidded eyes meet her’s. “Now why should I believe a fucking wolf traitor like you?” her breath meets your lips. “You can’t,” you said looking down at her lips and back up at her eyes. The alcohol was running its course. “What’s your name?” you asked without much thought through a quick whisper. She smirks and her eyes wander admiring your face, “You don’t drink much do you?” You shake your head.

She pulls her knife out and your eyes widen. She goes for the rope at your ankles first, then your wrists. She sits back watching you as you rub your wrists. “Thank you,” you say. “It’s Ellie,” she says, “you?” You respond with your name. She stands and grabs her bag, “Through the door there’s a theater, and a dressing room in the back. Can I trust that you’ll wait there for me?” you nod. 

You stand and walk over to her as she shuffles her bag on. You were clearly drunk by the way you almost missed a step and Ellie caught you. “You know what, I’ll walk you back there,” she says. You two finally made it to the dressing room with you leaning on her the entire time. She sits you down on the cushioned seat in the middle of the room, “Stay here, understand?” You look up at her and nod. Ellie brings herself down to your level with hands at your side again, she licks her lips, “I need you to say it,” she whispers. “I understand,” your eyes were yearning. “Good.”        

Seven hours had passed. You managed to sleep and recover from the impending hangover that was brought by your drunken episode. Despite having been drunk, you remembered everything. You sat up and splashed your face with clean water from a bucket nearby. Then you heard footsteps. You had virtually nothing to defend yourself with. The door opens and it’s Ellie.  She was soaked from the rain. “You stayed,” her voice was low, almost sounding sad. “You told me to,” you responded. She drops her bag and you walk over to her, “Did you find her?” you ask hesitantly. You both just look at each other instead. Her eyes looking at your lips and you step over to her reaching for her arm. Ellie didn’t want to talk. You gasped when she grabbed your hips and held you close. “Tell me to stop and I will,” she whispers, but you knew what you wanted. “I want you,” you responded. Without wasting anymore time, Ellie presses her lips on yours. You smelled the rain and cologne on her. She leads you to the cushion where she lays you down and attacks your neck and slides her hands up your shirt to knead your breast. You whimper at the feeling of her calloused fingers fondling you. She lifts your shirt up above your breast and gives them a good look before kissing between them as she pinches them. You were in bliss with her hot mouth leaving wet kisses from your chest to your neck. She started to unbuckle your jeans with her tattooed arm and slid her hand past your underwear. Your moans are more like whines and all the while Ellie watches your expression with darkened eyes and a flushed look on her face. “Fuck me, your so fucking wet for me,” she says sending hot breath on your neck. You feel her slide her finger up and down your folds and your eyebrows knit together and you whimper- desperate for more friction. She pumps her fingers up and down and in circles until she finds the right pattern for your clit. You’re bucking your hips under her touch. You feel your high coming and slide your hand under Ellie’s shirt to fondle her breast. “Mm fuck is this what you want?” She uses her other hand to quickly lift her shirt up and show off her perky breast. “Yes I want you Ellie,” you say so close to your orgasm. You continue to play with her breast as her finger fucks you closer to the edge. “Give it to me,” Ellie commands as she bites down on your neck firmly. The slight pain from the bite brings you over the edge completely and your hips stagger against her touch. You become limp as you lay still holding on to her chest. Ellie slides her hand out gently and you watch as she puts her finger in her mouth. “You taste so fucking good,” she looks down at you. You pull her down with your hand to taste yourself in a kiss. You didn’t care too much for the taste, but you liked the way her mouth felt against yours. 

[writingquestionsanswered]

Struggling with Setting and Plot

[Ask edited for length]

enzoid23 asked: I can easily make characters/relationships but the setting and plot are difficult for me. I like stories where characters are stuck together in a new place and have to learn to accept it or find a way to escape, which is a basic concept, but I can't figure out how to do it. I'm trying my to avoid copying other stories but I'm not sure where to draw the line between that and inspiration either. There's too many gaps, such as the how and the where and how many characters. I keep throwing in as much stuff as i can whether it fits or not, like a Mary Sue, but it's plot instead of a character.

First, since you asked about copying vs inspiration, start by reading these posts:

Taking Inspiration from Another Story’s Premise Similarities vs Plagiarism Plagiarism vs Reference vs Inspiration Hopefully that will help you get comfortable with borrowing ideas from other sources but making them into something new and unique to you.

Next, being able to come up with characters is great, but unless those characters are rooted in a particular setting or situation, it doesn't help much with world building and plot. And while some writers can find a plot within a setting, I think for most writers its easier to start with the plot, and once you have the beginnings of a premise, it's not too hard to expand a plot from there. As luck would have it, you already have the beginnings of a premise:

People get stuck together in a new place and have to learn to accept it or find a way to escape.

Now we can look at that and start asking questions. Perhaps the easiest question to start with is "do they learn to accept it, or do they find a way to escape?" Which one? Because those are two very different goals. Choosing one and eliminating the other tightens up your premise:

People get stuck together in a new place and have to learn to accept it.

All right... I think the next logical question is who gets stuck together in a place? Is it two people? Three people? Five people? Twenty-six people? One-hundred people? You don't even have to figure out the exact number right now, but just knowing whether this story is about two people, a few people, a small group of people, a bigger group of people, or a huge group of people is going to really narrow things down.

A small group of people get stuck together in a new place and have to learn to accept it.

Okay... where do they get stuck and how? Let's brainstorm... are these modern day boaters, or a misfit bunch of 18th century buccaneers, who become castaways on a remote island? Are they a group of students whose project gets them sucked into another dimension? Are they far-future astronauts who get stranded on an isolated planet? Keep going...

A small group of students get sucked into another dimension and stranded when their science project goes wrong.

Ahoy, there! A PREMISE!!!

Now you can start brainstorming the specific details... who are these students? Middle school/equivalent? High school/equivalent? University? Graduate school? Where and when is their school located? 1926 Chicago? 1980s London? 2077 Kinshasa? 1926 Shanghai?

A small group of middle school students in 1980's London get sucked into another dimension and stranded when their science project goes wrong.

Time to start world building and brainstorming this alternate dimension. Is it going to be an alternate version of our dimension? Will it be a dimension that's similar to a past time/place on Earth? Will this dimension be like a futuristic city? Will it be something fantastical like a place that feels like an alien city, or like Blade Runner meets Ready Player One? Are there other people in this dimension? Or is this group completely on their own?

Now you can start to think about a conflict... what is the problem that must be resolved by the end of the story? Is it simply a matter of figuring out how to survive in this new place? Are they immediately captured by some faction or army or group, and they must escape, or convince someone that they're not dangerous, or win their freedom somehow? What is the specific goal they work toward in order to reach this resolution? What steps must they achieve? Who or what places obstacles in their path, and what obstacles?

Once you know all of this, you can figure out the nitty-gritty details like how many characters, who each one is specifically, and what their role in the story will be. You can look at various structure templates (like Save the Cat! Writes a Novel, Larry Brooks Story Structure, Dramatica, etc.) for guidance... just don't feel like you have to stick to it exactly. You can also read through posts on my Plot & Story Structure master list for more help with plotting.

I hope this post gets you over the hump, though! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[hyephyep]

initial thoughts after beating okamiden for the first time (spoilers ahoy):

everything was worth it for chibiterasu existing

the game had a bad habit of not letting me figure out on my own what brush power to use and then use it. particularly with rejuvination. there were multiple times i tried over and over what i was sure was the solution and kept failing, only to find out that i'd needed to examine the puzzle so the game would zoom in and finally let me do the thing i'd been trying to do.

this game is adorable

i love Sidequest Village™️ (yakushi)

i like susano and kushi getting to be happily married

movement in battle felt very clunky. the camera kept turning away from where i wanted to see, enemies would get flung across the arena so i'd have to run over to keep hitting them, and i was constantly getting hit because i couldn't cancel a combo to dodge

adopted👏sons👏are👏true👏sons👏pog

exploration didnt feel as nice. i don't know if it was the camera being too close or something else, but running around the overworld wasn't as enjoyable in this game. i do still love the overworlds tho; it just made hunting down every chest and dandelion a bit more tedious

everything was worth it for the baby gods

i like the thunder people

i don't like taking the shiranui persona old kamiki assigned ammy and making that a real, separate entity. that was just past ammy. chibi's mom, not chibi's grandpa

i know it's nitpicky, but kamiki 100 years ago never found out about shiranui being amaterasu

everything was worth it for the wedding sidequest

whyyy were unique collectibles in areas you can't return to. like the boat. or that one part of the ice cave. nightmare

i ended the game missing one piece of the last masterpiece set 😭. i completed the other four sets. just one piece missing. where is it

kurow should not have gotten that date. ma'am that is a child, i don't care if he saved your life. this is not cute okamiden writers.

i really loved the creative use of time travel. characters we don't know recognizing us and saying they're glad to see us, then later on the time travel comes in and that dynamic plays out in reverse. fun

i liked how they made the tragedy of the sunken ship personal. we know it's going to sink. we've talked to the single survivor, we've talked to the orphaned child. but we're months in the past and these sailors don't know.

again, nitpicky, but it did bug me that otohime transformed into a water dragon without the dragon orb. even with the excuse that chibi was helping. having to get the dragon orb was such a big deal in okami.

i'm gonna have to replay it to get a definitive opinion, but a lot of the latter third of the plot kept feeling clunky.

this game was so rude and fatphobic to manpuku. it was nice that his mom was uplifting to him in the end but that wasn't enough to make up for everything else

besides his mom, susano was the only one to be straightforwardly celebratory of him. (paraphrasing, but roughly "you're the perfect build for fighting! let me train you.") another win for susano

MANPUKU BREAKING THROUGH THE CRACK KUROW SEALED BC HE'D PROMISED TO COME IF WE CALLED FOR HIM!!! TRAVELING THROUGH TIME AND SPACE TO KEEP HIS PROMISE! BELOVED BOY!

akuro kuni looked very cool. his throne looked VERY cool

a lot of the visuals for that whole final sequence were fantastic

game got an audible outraged gasp out of me when akuro called me mutt with kuni's mouth. how dare he

EVERYTHING WAS WORTH IT FOR SHADOW CHIBI

SHADOW CHIBI DRAWING A SHADOW SUN WAS SO INCREDIBLY COOL

conflicted feelings on how this game recharacterized waka and the moon tribe, for different reasons respectively. another thing i'm gonna have to replay the game to decide my opinion on

🎉 EVERYTHING WAS WORTH IT TO GET TO PLAY AS SHADOW CHIBI IN NEW GAME PLUS

overall: glad it's not canon, but also very glad it exists. okamiden good.

[usedtobecooler]

dropping monday 14/08…

this must be the place

eddie munson x steve harrington x afab!reader

summary: the summer of 1985 is only just beginning when a trip to scoops ahoy! unlocks some deeply hidden feelings you have swirling in your stomach for steve harrington. eddie munson won't let you live it down, and maybe that’s due to his own feelings too, but a chance encounter on a hot night at lovers lake sends you all down a rabbit hole you could never of prepared for.

content warnings: 18+ only minors dni, sexual content (threesome, piv sex, oral sex, dirty talk, van sex), porn with plot, eddie and reader are fwbs with feelings, gentle bullying and banter, eddie is canonically queer, mentions of past king!steve, brief homophobia mentions, a heartfelt conversation. feelings are felt on all three sides, if you don't like it look away <3 reader isn't explicitly described as alt/goth but it's implied.

sneak peek below the cut

You watch curiously as the Harrington charm working it’s magic right in front of your very eyes, Steve steps in close to Linda, brushes a loose curl back — Jesus Christ, why was that doing something for you — and says something you can’t make out, but it’s enough to have Linda blushing and pulling nervously on the hem of her denim shorts.

Why were you jealous?

The telltale noise of an obnoxiously loud horn beeping lets you — and probably the entire neighbourhood — know Eddie had arrived to pick you up, snapping you completely out of your daydream. Your lips curl up into a smirk when both Linda and Steve jump ten feet at the sound, Steve rolling his eyes and scoffing.

What a bitch.

Eddie catches you looking from your window and lets out an obnoxious laugh, grinning up at you with his annoyingly perfect teeth. You wanted to punch him, maybe, but Friday nights were for one thing and one thing only, and that was getting high at Lovers Lake in the flatbed of the van.

So it’d have to wait until you didn’t need him for the weed or the ride.

Summer meant the pretty sunset as a backdrop whilst you smoked the day's events away — it somehow made everything that little bit more relaxing, watching the swirls of orange, pink and purple melt together as your brain fogged with the drugs, a nice settling in your tummy as your high took over.

It was second only to the heavy September rain that you loved so much, you found yourself yearning for it all year around. The loud patter of the large droplets clinking on the tin roof of Eddie’s van, buried under a nest of blankets to keep the cool chill off your arms and legs. Eddie’s hot breath fanning over your neck as he kissed it, chest heavy against your back. Warm, solid and comforting.

Maybe you were in love with him, or maybe you weren’t. You didn’t want to think too much about that.

You glide out of the house as quietly as you can muster, not wanting to arouse suspicion about where you were going. Even in your twenties, your parents would still have a few choice words for you in regards to Eddie Munson, and you were in no mood for the lecture. You’d heard it too many times in the years you’d known him, since fifth grade when he pushed you in the playground and you pulled his hair in retaliation.

From that moment on you were inseparable, to the dismay of your parents.

You’re aware of two other sets of eyes watching you from across the street as you bounce down the driveway, all smiles as excitement thrums through your entire body. Eddie’s maybe looking at you like you hung the fucking moon or something, but that’s probably to do with the fact you’re wearing his shirt and looking the epitome of hot.

Okay, maybe you had a complex.

“So that’s where my shirt went,” Eddie hums, giving you an appreciative once-over as you wrench the passenger door open with a horrific sounding crunch of metal, “looks better on you, I’ve gotta say.”

You clamber into the van with a huff, laughter spilling into it, “Yeah, yeah. You don’t need to woo me, Munson. We’re gonna fuck anyway, don’t worry.”

Eddie laughs loud and so fucking obnoxious, as if for somebody else’s entertainment, and it does catch the attention of the lovebirds on the other side of the road. You look over just as Steve catches your eyes, and suddenly your chest feels kind of heavy as he stares at you with a kind of intensity that you can’t put a finger on.

“Take a fuckin’ picture, Harrington,” Eddie cackles, head basically out the fucking window and he’s grinning at them both, snapping you completely out of it, “that’s as close as you’re getting to her, count your lucky stars.”

Eddie and Steve weren’t friends. In fact quite the opposite. Steve and Tommy were miserable assholes for years, made Eddie’s life hell at any given turn unless they needed him for drugs.

You think back, and truthfully the turning point was during Junior year. Steve had tripped Eddie in the hall, called him ‘queer’. Eddie didn’t stand for that, sucker punched Steve right in the jaw, hard enough that his skull hit the locker adjacent to him.

“That shit might hurt you when your daddy calls you it, but you’ve gotta do a lot worse than call me exactly what I am as an insult, Harrington.” Eddie had grinned, vicious and seething, as he watched Steve clutch desperately at his bruised jaw, wide eyed and hair askew from the force.

Steve never bothered Eddie again after that.

In fact, not long after, Steve never bothered anybody again. Maybe the knock to the head had quite literally knocked some sense into him, or something.

“You good?” Eddie’s voice, his large hand gripping your thigh knocks you back into reality, out of the daydream, and the grounding is enough to have your entire body melting into the simple touch.

[istadris]

Trailer Analysis of Asterix & Obelix The Big Fight (Part 3) : Theorical Plot

Part 1

Part 2

One month from now, we’ll finally be able to watch Asterix & Obelix : The Big Fight!

In the previous posts, we have seen what will be present in the Big Fight: some elements will be familiar, while other will be original to the show.

Now that we have all these cards in hand, what can we expect from the actual series? There will be five episodes of 30 min : what story can be told in 2h30 ?

This is the part where I speculate about the possible plot: I might be wrong, and I hope the show will still be able to surprise me in good ways. I'm curious to hear your own theories, but first, let's dig into mine!

Set Up : The Year is 50 BC…

(RIP Pierre Tchernia et ta voix inoubliable de narrateur des films Astérix)

I think it's safe to assume the first episode will serve to introduce the main characters, the initial situation and the general mood of the show.

Of course, we’ll get to meet once again with our dear old Gauls and show them in their natural environment: living, laughing, beating up Romans for fun.

We’ll probably be introduced to the depressed Roman centurion we see here and there in the trailers, serving as the poor hapless victim of the Gauls’ shenanigans, and demonstrating the might of the magic potion in a big fun battle.

In the meantime (or even before that), we’ll certainly be introduced to Metadata and her boss, working on finding the best idea for the triumph of Caesar. Metadata learns (and serves as the exposition fairy) the situation of: Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans. Well, not entirely…etc etc you know the pitch.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Metadata scene has someone talk about how monstrous and barbarous the Indomitable Gauls are, and then the scene cutting to the village being very silly. Like the fish scene

All of this could take place in the first episode ; but it’s also probable this could be spread out on two episodes, especially with the upcoming situation...

Inciting Incident : Menhir Ahoy!

It's no surprise to anyone who knows the story,  the plot gets kicked off by two events influencing each other : first, the Romans want to have Ceramix challenge Vitalstatistix to a duel and need to put all their chances on their sides, thus capturing Getafix and remove the magic potion. Secondly, because of that plan, Getafix gets attacked by Romans in the forest and Obelix throws his menhir at him, causing Getafix to lose his mind, thus putting the entire village in a very grave situation.

But I am also convinced we’ll have a third plot-kicker: Vitalstatistix’s birthday.

There’s a couple of moments in the trailers where the Gauls are feasting, and we can see some gift-looking objects there. And in The Chieftain’s Shield, it’s after a particularly festive banquet that Vitalstatistix gets his liver issues. Who knows, maybe it’ll be thematically connected to him getting back in shape to defeat Ceramix?

So I think the Inciting Incident will combine these three elements:

Metadata tells Caesar about the Big Fight because the mosaic idea didn’t please him and Potus was getting aggressive about it. Caesar is enthralled by the idea and tasks Potus AND Metadata with this plan.

Meanwhile, in the village, the Gauls just finished celebrating Vitalstatistix’ birthday, but it caused him health issues; Getafix orders him to go on a trip for a cure, and while Vitalstatistix and Impedementa pack up, Getafix goes into the forest for some ingredients. Maybe Asterix and Obelix follow a bit later because he forgot something, or maybe they go hunting at the same time.

Either on Caesar’s orders or by sheer coincidence, the Romans near the village are on a mission to capture the druid; I think the events play pretty much identically to the comic, with the Romans disguising themselves as trees and shrubs, ambushing the druid, Asterix and Obelix running to the rescue, Obelix shooting the menhir, Getafix getting knocked out, Asterix and Obelix bringing him back to the village and nursing him until he wakes up… and everyone learns he’s now cray-cray.

Plot Point : Ceramix's Recruitment

After the plot gets kicked off, I think we'll be introduced to Ceramix by episode 2 or 3, not further.

Potus and Metadata visit him and we get to learn about his personality and political opinion : he's very strong, a brute who forces his villagers to follow Roman customs or get beaten, and prompt to show his loyalty and obedience to the Noble Conquerors.

I fully expect the gag of Ceramix boasting about beating any Gaul chief to be slightly expanded in a sequence where he rips off his tunic and breaks things around...before freaking out as he learns WHO is his opponent. But obviously he'll be convinced : either Getafix has already lost his mind, either Potus promises Ceramix the magic potion won't be an issue.

@scribeprotra raised a very interesting point in one of my previous posts : while Caesar savors the idea of the Gauls becoming Romans, Metadata insists on the term "Gallo-Roman". Now, this could be a throwaway gag, or it could be that she sincerely thinks, at least at first, that Gauls assimilated to Rome have a good way of life, that Gallo-Roman culture is the future and so, she doesn't see a reason for the Gauls to keep resisting. If that's the case, the visit to Ceramix' village could be a cold reality check to what Gallo-Romans actually live like, when they're forced to cast away their culture and embrace the Roman culture...

Of course, I might be reading too much into this. But an important theme of the original comic (and the Asterix franchise as a whole), despite its light tone, is the danger imperialism poses to one's culture, whether by cultural assimilation or enforced erasure.

But whether she wants it or not, the plan marches forward, the challenge is issued officially and the village has to face the music...

Plot Point : The Arena and the Council

Now unsurprisingly, I think the arena will be central to the second and third act of the show.

Caesar and his lackeys will spare no expense for the spectacle of the Gaul's defeat. It's meant to be a big mediatic buzz, topped with Antiquity-equivalent of news shows. Probably also why we get a glimpse of Cleopatra. And of course, the big traveling fair mentioned in the previous parts of this analysis.

But before the actual fight takes place (and we know it's soon before the fight, since a legionary comes to fetch the Gaul chief for the Big Fight), the village gathers under a willow in a village council.

What is the point of this council ? I see two possibilities of subjects, and they might be connected :

the madness of the druid, and its consequences on the village

the Big Fight, and whether Vitalstatistix is up to the taks. I'm leaning toward this option because it might look like Fulliautomatix is talking himself up. Maybe trying to sway the council into making him fight instead of Vitalstatistix who is too out of shape for the challenge?

Whatever it is, it seems that by the end, the Gauls gather around their chief : to give him their support, maybe?

In any case, once Vitalstatistix steps into the ring, it will be time for the...

Climax : What The Heck Is Going On ??

For obvious reasons, not much is revealed in the trailers about the third act/climax of the show. But one thing is (90%) sure : the victory won't be as easy as in the comic.

In the comic (and in the climax of the animated Big Fight), thanks to a deus ex machina Getafix drinking one of his own potions, he miraculously recovers just in time to prepare enough magic potion for everyone (since Asterix & co except, and rightfully so, for the Romans to play foul even if Vitalstatistix wins). Hearing about Getafix' recovery, Vitalstatistix, who up until that point had been wearing Ceramix down by running in circles, gets a second wind and knocks Ceramix down with one punch.

In the trailers of the show, there's a detail I noticed and that is...we don't see any details of the fight. And especially not Vitalstatistix. Not even a half-second shot of a punch that would makes us wonder about the fight. So we have no idea of how it will actually play out. Will Vitalstatistix play the long game like in the comic and focus on wearing Ceramix down? Will he try to fight upfront and be confronted to the difficulty of no magic potion to help him out?

We just don't know. But what do we know?

The fight takes place at night, with highlits of red and dark, giving a more intense atmosphere to the situation.

There's seemingly an attack on the village (and of course it's Asterix's hut that takes the brunt of it). Okay, to be fair, the attack seems to takes place at dusk rather than night....

Dogmatix is with Mrs Geriatrix and Impedimenta. Which means that neither Obelix, neither Astérix (who's usually Dogmatix's minder if Obelix isn't available) are present. In the comic, Obelix is staying at the village out of guilt during the fight, but he still had Dogmatix with him. What motivated him to leave his beloved pup with other people?

There's a movement of troops. I would bet on the same attempt at backstabbing as in the comic

Okay, that one is a big shock : Obelix gets punched out and sent flying several meters away??! Who is strong enough to inflict that on Obelix of all people ?? We can distinguish a crowd in front of the village, with certainly the puncher being in it. Someone might have had access to magic potion, but then who? Another hint is the burning village around Obelix ; definitely connectiong this moment to the hut being destroyed.

Asterix walks throught the arena crow and looks pretty worried. Could be explained rather easily by Vitalstatstix getting his ass beat in the first part of the fight, and Asterix knowing he can't do anything about it. Ooooor it could be a detail he learned/noticed that could drastically change the outcome for the worst. And speaking of Asterix...

"Ista, you reused the same screenshot twice in a post!" First of all that's not from the same trailer, second of all this is my absolute fave shot of the whole promotion and I do what I want. It's not secret to anyone knowing me that I LOVE situations in which Asterix has to actually use his warrior skills, and here it seems like it's a Serious situation : dramatic lighting, very serious expressions, an aggressive antagonist, and I'm DYING to see the context of that scene. Did Asterix learn something and Potus is trying to stop him? Did Caesar finally order the capture of the Gauls and this is the last stand? Alain Chabat, I can forgive you a lot of liberties with Asterix because you make good jokes but if this scene ends up being a cheap gag, I will never forgive you.

And that's the last part of my trailer analysis for the Big Fight! If you have any more details to add, feel free to reply or rant in your tags!

As for me, these trailers did a perfect job of titillating my interest and making me impatient for the show! Can't wait to watch it!

[rei-ismyname]

Exceptional X-Men #4 REVIEW

I've been singing the praises of Eve L Ewing and Carmen Carnero's Exceptional X-Men, so let's see what they manage to do now that the premise is established and they've got 5 main characters we're invested in. A benefit of establishing your characters early is that you get to focus on introducing plot elements, special guests, and complications - like serialised storytelling does. Uncanny is a good example of how a lack of focus early on weakens everything you try to do. It's hard to care about The Outliers or Nightcrawler when they feel like wallpaper, and now they're running around an event without knowing who they are. The stakes lay primarily with Rogue. Trista/Bronze is a fantastic example of this done right, and as you'll see we can explore plot developments that wouldn't make sense elsewhere. Spoilers ahoy, caveat emptor.

Trista gets a lot of focus which works because we know who she is and what she wants.

Due to Kate pushing back against taking these kids somewhere isolated for training, we get to see them try to live normal lives. Trista has friends outside the tiny mutant peer group, a crush, and an interest in theatre. She declared last issue that her goal is to not hurt anyone, and she's struggling with what people tell her to be and what she wants. She's a sweet kid, and I'd say there's a racial component to this dichotomy - how black kids are perceived and how they need to act to get by in a white supremacist world. That's outside my experience but I'm invested in how Trista deals navigates the issue. After all, being strong, kind, gentle and lovely aren't mutually exclusive

I hesitate to compare to Uncanny again, but they both have high school scenes and the difference is stark. Westinghouse College Prep is a real life school in Chicago (that Biggie, Jay Z, Busta Rhymes and DMX all went to) and it is ranked pretty highly nationally. According to its website it has 98% minority enrollment. Importantly, it feels like a real school in 2024 with real people attending it, and not just because it actually is one IRL. There's no need to reach for played out generic high school tropes when the characters feel like real people with real problems already - verisimilitude.

After a smash cut to Trista with a sentinel looming over her, we learn that Emma does a pretty damn good Danger Room analogue. Trista seems determined and in control at first, using her different powers in concert effectively. She does manage to Empire Strikes Back trip the Sentinel up, but wigs out when it falls on top of her, understandably. Emma calls it, and we see more proof of why she's considered good at training young mutants.

Bobby's entrance at the end of last issue felt like a cliffhanger by virtue of being on the final page, but I'm glad his presence doesn't derail the plot entirely. It's implied that some time has passed, maybe a week - enough time for Bobby and Trista to get to know each other and enough time for Bobby to feel Kitty is avoiding him. Trista picks up on his odd behaviour and asks Emma about psychic ethics, heh. Her answer is funny and sardonic while still getting the point across. Emma and Trista having one on one time tells us a lot about Emma's sincerity and the trust she's earned through good works.

The subtext of Trista's distraction is made text - she's preoccupied with the audition, her crush, and the fear of exposure/social rejection. While we know this already, or could guess, it's effective to have newer characters tell their story. What they say is as important as what they don't say or how they say it. She responds well to being listened to and positive reinforcement, accepting the reframing of the audition as an opportunity.

Bobby is definitely up to something and acting weird. His persona feels performative. He's explicitly faking bathroom usage to text privately, and while his texting is worded vaguely enough to not give much away, it does seem sinister. At minimum he is lying about why he's there. Kitty picks up on the same weirdness Trista did and she's really not having it. He doesn't have the vibes of a friend seeking or offering support, though Kitty isn't interested in either and tells him to leave. Idk if Bobby even has a home right now - he was living in Antarctica because ORCHIS poisoned him and he couldn't hold a solid form for long. He was back with Romeo last time we saw him but also didn't have a physical body. I can't blame the creators for not explaining that, I have to assume they're under the same editorial direction everyone else is.

Trista's warmup scene has excellent layout, with the other kids' faces in circles next to their supportive texts. It's a clever way of showing their faces in an issue they're mostly absent from, and it's a solid method of variety in an issue with more texting than most. Showtime!

Trista meekly introduces herself to the casting guy/director and he suggests that the lead might not be right for her. He's polite, though she's about to disagree when her mutant life and school life clash in an unexpected way. One of those yellow beasts from X-Force appears from a portal and grabs her crush. You don't need to have been reading X-Force, it's a big monster (that were confirmed to be appearing globally in that book) and it's here. Trista rallies and uses her training to bronze up and get her head in the game.

It's a dangerous situation but has a simple solution suited to Trista's skillset. She grabs it with her tentacle things, ties it up and yeets it through the portal. Her overcoming it with pure force or martial skill would be a bit silly, but by linking her training and the progress she's made with Emma to a simple solution, it feels like an appropriate and believable triumph. Strong yet gentle. Neutralizing the beast and protecting herself and others without using overwhelming violence. It's a very effective character beat and the support/adulation from the theatre people is earned. She nailed the audition, and gets offered her choice of parts, though interestingly she turns it down in favour of her training. The theatre folks show solidarity and swear to keep her mutanthood a secret.

Trista shows up to training and seems more confident, her posture showing strength and positivity. It looks like Bronze, Axo and Melee are all benefiting and even Kate manages a smile. Then she overhears Bobby on the phone while grabbing some equipment. It's not a good look.

What Bobby is saying is so weird that she's not even sure it's him. Kate phases her hand next to his heart and straight up threatens him. He explains that everyone is worried about her and she says she's choosing this life. He tries to bring up ORCHIS and she shuts it down, saying out loud that she killed people. A little too loud, it turns out.

The kids overhear and are horrified, understandably. They're really young and don't have the kind of life experiences that come with being an X-Man - of course they are! Tom Brevoort has made a lot of noise about the X-Men killing people in Fall of X, an argument that has ignored the nuance of being at war with genocidal fascists. The issue hasn't made it to the page in a meaningful way until now, and I couldn't be more impressed. Rooting the issue in Kate's trauma and shame - as something that terrifies the students she's trying to help and likely damaging the trust she's built - approaches it on a believable character level.

This is a big part of what caused Kate to hang up her Spandex and it's something she's going to have to reckon with. Add the kids' emotional and ethical reaction and you've got a fantastic cliffhanger with the promise of explosive drama.

Kate grabs Bobby's phone and it's Rogue on the other end. She doesn't look like she's at Haven or in uniform, so who knows what's going on there? They're clearly ahead of Raid on Graymalkin as Iceman is in league with them, as if that book needs more characters. Kate doesn't care and hangs up on her. I wasn't going to compare to Uncanny a third time, but if the two are crossing over it invites comparison. Kurt's glib comment about thinking he was a murderer felt trite and silly, next to the dramatic execution of Shadowkat's actions being confronted it looks downright amateur. Kate is clearly having a PTSD flashback or intrusive thought during this conversation - whereas it wouldn't work for Bobby or Emma to announce that she has PTSD, for example.

I do enough shitting on Uncanny's writing in my reviews of that book, my point is how well similar beats are executed in this book. Eve L Ewing and Carmen Carnero's Exceptional X-Men is aptly named and frankly, if you're not reading it you're missing out. We know all these characters well enough that we care about their reaction to this revelation. Kate looks like she's about to break down, and Bronze and Axo's body language is heartbreaking. Emma knows shit is about to hit the fan and she's surely aware she killed people in Fall of X too. That's how you do a cliffhanger. Issue #4 managed to do a Trista focus issue, some slice of life, excellent character work, and lit a fuse to explode next issue all in 20 pages.

Exceptional X-Men is fantastic and you should be reading it.

[sephirthoughts]

First Soldier

it's a double entendre i'm hilarious shut up

this is a glennseph one-shot i've been threatening to post for a while but didn't get around to. it's extremely explicit and sephiroth is a teenager so obligatory disclaimer ahoy:

ALL CHARACTERS HAVE REACHED SEXUAL MATURITY AND ARE ABOVE THE LEGAL AGE OF CONSENT IN THEIR COUNTRIES OF ORIGIN

fucking fight me you little puritan fucks

SUMMARY: big dumb puppy glenn pets the hissy little kitty but instead of getting clawed, the hissy little kitty rubs against him and purrs NOTE: did everyone know glenn is only 23 during first soldier? twenty-fucking-three!!! he must have the cid highwind premature weathered old man gene cause damn TAGS: sephiroth x glenn lodbrok, sephglenn, cute smut, fluffy smut, no plot, pwp, etc. WARNINGS: dead dove, don't like don't read, grown-folks content, no minors allowed, minors DNI, etc.

“Out here, the only way to survive is to kill them before they kill you,” he said, forcing back the tears that were burning in his eyes. 

Glenn advanced on him. Towering and almost menacing, it seemed, to the teenaged boy. Sephiroth steeled himself. He didn’t want to hurt Glenn, but he was at his breaking point, and if the man wanted to make this physical, he’d regret—

All of a sudden, Glenn’s arms encircled him, and he found himself being squeezed tightly, with his face buried in a big, broad chest.

His senses were flooded by Glenn’s earthy, masculine scent and the firm pressure of his arms, holding Sephiroth against the sturdy, solid warmth of his body.

Sephiroth crashed to desktop, like one of those old computer programs, in the SOLDIER testing center.

He wasn’t that ignorant. He’d seen people hug one another, before. It was just that no one had ever done it to him. No one would have dared to invade the little monster’s personal space, except Professor Hojo. And Hojo only touched him to test his pain thresholds.

On the heels of his initial bewilderment, his indignation flared up, white-hot. Physical touch was a method of pacifying infants and children, who were too young to respond to reason.

Did Glenn think of him as a brainless infant, that needed that kind of soothing? Was this another demonstration of disrespect, because of his age and inexperience?

The man’s next words thoroughly defused the boy’s rising anger, though. 

“You’re right,” Glenn said. His deep voice vibrated in his chest, and tickled Sephiroth’s ear. “Out here it’s life or death.”

When the man released him, he was in a daze, hardly able to process what had happened. All he wanted to do was to grab hold of him and bury himself in his warmth and his scent and never, ever let go.

No. That was something a baby would do. Sephiroth had been very clearly instructed that he was to conduct himself with the dignity incumbent upon him as a man, a SOLDIER, and Shinra’s representative in the field.

“But Sephiroth, you don’t have anything to prove,” Glenn continued. “We know how strong you are. Maybe you could show some compassion. I know you’ve got it in you.”

He clenched his teeth and fought it as hard as he could, but a tear escaped down his cheek. It was unseen by the others, however, because Glenn was standing between them, like a shield.

“I’m not a cyborg.”

Those arms enfolded him again, a gently crushing pressure on his tense-up body. Glenn’s voice was hoarse, with uncharacteristic emotion. “I know. I’m really sorry I said that.”

“I…I never wanted to be…” he mumbled, into Glenn’s coat, trailing off before finishing his sentence, because he was still trying not to cry.

“I know. I know,” Glenn said, then gave a strangled sounding grunt, as the boy’s arms constricted around him, like steel pythons. “Seph could you—hngh. Can’t…breathe.”

“Oh. S—sorry,” Sephiroth said, hastily letting go. “I forgot how fragile you are.”

He’d meant that in complete earnest, but Matt and Lucia burst out laughing, like it was the best joke of all time. Their laughter made Sephiroth feel warm and pleased, and he laughed as well. Glenn snarled and scowled and stomped around a little, but he wasn’t really angry, and no one was afraid of him, anyway. 

The team was in better spirits, when they sat by the campfire, that evening. Sephiroth had his jacket off, so Lucia could patch up his gunshot wound. He didn’t want to tell her it was unnecessary and he’d be good as new before he went to bed, so he just politely accepted her help.

Meanwhile, his sleeveless, black thermal left little of his leanly muscled torso to the imagination, and both Glenn and Matt commented admiringly on his physique.

“When I was your age, I was a scrawny little fucker,” Glenn reminisced. “Had a growth spurt around seventeen. Shot up like a tree. What about you, Matt? You have your growth spurt, yet?”

“Oh, you’re so funny,” Matt returned, tossing a bit of biscuit at him. “I’d rather have brains than brawn, anyway.”

“I never met a problem I can’t punch my way out of, professor smartass,” Glenn said, puffing his chest out.

Sephiroth was eyeing the large man enviously. “The professor says I’ll grow very quickly, in the next several years. I wonder if I’ll ever be as tall as you.”

“Even if you’re not, there’s nothin’ wrong with that. I’m a pretty big dude.”

“Mm-hm, with a mouth to match,” Lucia interjected, at which Matt laughed. “Alright, I did my best,” she said, closing the med kit. “Not pretty, but your healing factor is so fast. You’ll probably be good as new by morning.”

“Thank you, Ms. Lucia,” Sephiroth replied, earning a ruffle of his hair from the young woman.

“Anything for a handsome gentleman, like you,” Lucia smiled. “I’m gonna turn in. Don’t keep the commander up all night, Glenn.”

“Yeah, yeah, I won’t,” Glenn said waving her away.

“Goodnight, Ms. Lucia,” Sephiroth said politely.

“Night fellas.” 

When she’d gone off to her tent, Glenn bumped Sephiroth with his shoulder and gave him a knowing wink, and Matt chuckled over the rim of his canteen. Glenn looking at him like that made Sephiroth’s cheeks flush, which just made the two older men laugh even harder. 

This was the third or fourth time something like this had occurred. He wasn’t actually sure what their raillery meant, but he knew it had to do with Lucia, and that he was supposed to understand, somehow.

He didn’t want to be called a cyborg, again, so he usually kept his mouth shut and just let them have their joke (well, Glenn’s joke. Matt only ever laughed along). But Glenn hugging him, earlier, and apologizing for the cyborg comment emboldened him, this time. 

“Why do you two laugh and look at me that way, when I talk to Ms. Lucia?” he asked. 

Glenn squinted an eye. “What, you really don’t know? Young man your age?”

“Don’t know what?” Sephiroth asked, looking back and forth between them.

“That’s my cue to turn in,” Matt said, getting up from his spot, across the fire. “You two have a nice talk.”

“Well, Seph, my friend, it’s like this,” Glenn said sagely, throwing an arm around the boy’s shoulders, as Matt retreated. “There’s birds, you know? And bees. And those all have…something to do with spring. Spring is the time for, uh. Well, when two people—”

“I know about sexual reproduction, Glenn,” Sephiroth said flatly. “My education has been very thorough. What does that have to do with you teasing me about Ms. Lucia?”

Glenn withdrew his arm and scratched his head, awkwardly. “Ah, well. You’re a healthy young man, ya know? And she’s a very pretty girl.”

“Is she?”

“Sure. You don’t think she’s pretty?”

“It would be inappropriate for me to judge my teammates, based on appearance.”

“Yeah, of course. But for real, though. Don’t you like her?”

Sephiroth considered this gravely. “Ms. Lucia is a strong and competent person, and she goes out of her way to be kind to me. I suppose I like her, yes.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Glenn said, shaking his head. “I mean like…the kind of ‘like’ where you want her to hold your hand.”

Sephiroth looked down at his hands, then up at Glenn, perplexed. “Hold my hand? For what reason?”

“Just…hold it. Like, the way people do, when they like each other. You know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Uh. Wow. How the hell do I explain this.”

“Why don’t you just show me what you mean,” Sephiroth suggested.

“W—well, I…ok. Just to show ya.” Glenn crossed his wrist over Sephiroth’s on the smooth log, between them, and pressed his palm to his, then laced their fingers together. “See? Like that. Nothin’ to it.”

Sephiroth found himself unable to reply. His mouth had gone suddenly dry, and he could judge how pink his face probably was by how hot his cheeks felt. He kept his head down and nodded faintly.

When he felt Glenn’s grip begin to loosen, he unconsciously tightened his own. Glenn stiffened. But he didn’t pull his hand away. Neither did Sephiroth. Several long beats passed. 

By then, it was far too late to pretend it was an accident. They were both too embarrassed to look at one another, though, so they just sat silently like that, hand in hand, staring at the low-burning embers of the fire. 

Sephiroth’s body was outwardly calm, but his mind was racing, frantically attempting to explain this sensation to himself. It was a completely new and alien feeling, this holding hands. It seemed like a pointless gesture, but there were all sorts of unexpected physiological reactions attached to it. Mostly turbid and confusing emotions, along with a heavy dose of shame, at reacting so strongly to something so trivial. He didn’t hate it, though. 

After a while, he dared a sidelong glance at Glenn. “What else do people do, when they like each other?”

Even in profile, by firelight, he could see the color in Glenn’s cheeks. “Well, they, uh. They hug and uh…k—kiss. Things like that.”

Sephiroth looked down at their interlaced fingers, and seemed to have realized something. His blue-green eyes widened. “You hugged me. And you’re holding my hand.” 

“Uh—ahem. Mm-hm.”

“Do you want to kiss me?”

“Do you…want me to?”’

“I don’t know.” Sephiroth frowned thoughtfully. “I liked when you hugged me, and I like holding hands. I think…yes. I’d like for you to kiss me.”

Glenn glanced down at Sephiroth then quickly away. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, passing a hand over his forehead. “Fuck it. I’m already goin’ to hell, why not punch an express ticket.”

Releasing Sephiroth’s hand, he coiled his arm about his waist and leaned close, tilted his head slightly, then ever so gently pressed his smooth, firm lips to Sephiroth’s. 

Sephiroth’s heart lurched and ran ragged. Reflexively, he reached out and grabbed Glenn’s collar. He didn’t know what else to do 

“Open your mouth a little,” Glenn whispered, breath warm against his lips. His low, rough voice sent goosebumps up the back of Sephiroth’s neck. “Just follow my lead. Try to do what I do.”

Sephiroth let his jaw slacken and Glenn’s lips pushed his apart. When Glenn’s tongue slid forward into his mouth, he was too stunned to respond, for a full ten seconds, then he recalled Glenn saying he should follow his lead.

Sephiroth pushed his tongue forward and tried to mimic Glenn’s actions. It was clumsy and awkward, but when his tongue crossed the barrier of his teeth, and touched Glenn’s, he couldn’t help giving a soft little groan. Glenn hummed in his throat and pulled him closer. 

Sephiroth’s ears were burning hot and his stomach was doing dizzy flip-flops, like he was coming down with a fever and an inner-ear infection, and yet…this was the best thing he had ever felt. The best thing he’d ever imagined feeling. He wanted to do this and nothing else, from now on. 

He learned extremely quickly, and before long, his tongue went from tentative and uncertain, to hungry and demanding, pushing forward and chasing Glenn’s. 

“Whoa, slow down there, cowboy,” Glenn said breathlessly, pulling back to look at him. “Anything past this, and I’m in serious shit. Actually, if you decide to tell anyone, I’m in serious shit, anyway.”

The boy’s catlike pupils were blown wide and round, in his blue-green irises. “Why would I tell anyone? Come back, I want to kiss more.”

“Probably ain’t a good idea to do this out here, in the open.” 

“Where?”

Glenn glanced around and then stood up, jerking his head toward the little clearing, where he had his tent, a dozen meters away. Sephiroth nodded and followed. 

Inside the tent, they took off their boots and coats, and Glenn spread out his sleeping bag, so they could both lie on it. Sephiroth hardly gave him time to lie down before he was pulling and tugging at his clothes.

“Hang on,” Glenn said. “Couple things. I got more experience than you, but that doesn’t mean I know everything. You gotta tell me to stop, the minute you don’t like something, ok? I won’t be mad or anything, you just gotta say it.”

“I promise,” Sephiroth replied solemnly. “I’ll tell you as soon as I don’t like it.”

Then Glenn took the boy in his arms, tangling their bodies together, while their tongues caressed, sloppy and urgent, till they were both flushed hot and panting. Glenn peeled off his thermal undershirt, then helped Sephiroth pull his off, over his head. 

When he compared his smooth, slender, milk-white chest to Glenn’s—hairy, suntanned, and heavily muscled—he wanted to reach out and touch it. 

As if he’d read his mind, Glenn grabbed Sephiroth’s hand and put it on his chest. “Go ahead and touch me. I don’t bite.”

Sephiroth hesitated, then gave free rein to his curiosity, playing with Glenn’s curly, golden-blonde chest hair, cupping his big pectoral muscles, and sliding his hands up and down his solid torso. He liked the ridges of his abdominal muscles, and the trail of hair leading down from his navel into his waistband.

When he noticed the big, oblong bulge of Glenn’s penis, through his trousers, he blushed crimson and looked quickly away, which made Glenn chuckle. Not liking to be laughed at, Sephiroth set his jaw defiantly and put his hand on the bulge, squeezing it through the fabric.

Glenn laid his hand overtop of Sephiroth's and slid it up and down the thick shaft. To his astonishment, his own responded, beginning to swell and thicken inside his tight underwear.

Sephiroth had never had a reaction to any person’s body, male or female. He’d only ever felt something happening down there, when he was required to give semen samples, in the lab. 

The device used to collect the samples induced erection and stimulated him to ejaculation, without his participation. This was the first time he’d become erect on his own, aside from the normal, autonomic erections, when he’d first wake in the morning.

Those didn’t feel like this. Those he ignored and they went away, usually before he’d finished brushing his teeth. This was like an itch but deeper and more maddening. His penis was rigid and aching, and he could feel a wet spot forming in his underwear. He had to force back the urge to push it against Glenn, while they laid together, kissing and groping each other’s bodies. 

Glenn saved him the trouble, when he grabbed his ass and rocked his pelvis, grinding his much bigger shaft against Sephiroth’s. 

“Hm—ah,” Sephiroth panted. “I want…I want…”

Glenn’s breath was hot and wet on his ear. “Tell me what you want.” 

“I don’t know how to say it.”

“You want to fuck?”

Sephiroth’s body tensed with mild panic. “W—what? What do you—how can we…we’re both men.”  

“Sorry, that wasn’t nice of me,” Glenn said, grinning sheepishly. “I was just messing around. I kind of wanted to see your reaction.”

Silver eyebrows lowered and pouting lips were pursed. “No, you wanted to gauge my reaction, without committing to anything. Now, tell me what you mean. Can two men really…do that, together?”

So deftly hoisted by his own petard, Glenn was at a loss, and became embarrassed. “Uh…um. Well, yeah.”

“How?”

“There’s a lot of ways. You can use your hands or your mouths, or—” 

“Mouths?” Sephiroth said, incredulous.

“Yep. You can even put it in the, uh. The back.”

“In the…” Sephiroth’s eyes went wide. “But why?”

“Because sex feels good? Why else?”

Sephiroth was thunderstruck. He’d only been taught about copulation between a male and female, so far as it related to reproduction. He’d never imagined that men would want to do this, with one another, when it served no biological purpose. No. He couldn’t see it. Glenn must be messing with him again. 

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Are you suggesting that it feels good, to have an erect penis inserted into your anus?”

“If it didn’t, millions of guys wouldn’t do it.”

“But it’s so small,” Sephiroth argued. “How does it…go in?”

“Lube and patience,” Glenn said flippantly, then cleared his throat. “It’s not that complicated. It’s very…stretchy, down there. You use a lot of lubrication and you put your fingers inside, first, to loosen it up. Once it’s stretched out and slippery, you can…you know. Go in.”

“And that feels good?” 

“I mean, it hurts, if you’re not careful. Especially the first time. But yeah.”

“How?”

“There’s a shitload of nerves back there. Plus, the um. The guy’s dick rubs against your prostate, inside. It feels good, and you can even come that way.”

“Come?”

“E—ejaculate.”

This was an overload of information, for Sephiroth. The whole thing was too bizarre to imagine. Except that he suddenly did imagine it. Glenn on top of him, pushing his big, hard penis—wait, Glenn said dick, so he should say it that way—pushing his big, hard dick into him.

His head got hot suddenly, and his own dick throbbed with desire. He laid both hands on his cheeks, to cool off his overheated face, while he processed all of this. 

After a few minutes, Glenn nudged him. “Seph? You ok?”

“Hm?”

“You ok? You zoned out.”

“I—I’m ok. This is a lot to think about.”

“I didn’t mean to freak you out. I had no idea you didn’t know this stuff. You said you’d had sex-ed, before.”

“I did, as related to biological reproduction. No one ever told me the…other things.”

Glenn looked awkward. “Ah.”

“Have you done it?”

“Huh? Done which?”

“Have you had sex with another man?”

“Well, yeah. I’m gay, so…”

“Gay?”

“Homosexual. That means I only have those feelings for men, and I don’t like women that way.”

“Oh.” Sephiroth frowned thoughtfully.

“What’s that look? What are you thinking about, now?”

“I think I’m also gay.” 

“Oh yeah?” Glenn smirked.

Sephiroth nodded. “I tried to imagine doing the things I’ve done with you, tonight, with a woman, and the idea was repulsive. But I liked doing them with you. So, I must be gay.”

“I guess…I can’t argue with your logic. It just, uh. It seems a little quick for you to make such a big decision.”

“No, I’m sure,” Sephiroth said firmly. “I’m gay. I want to have sex with other men, and not women.”

“Well, um. Congratulations on your self-discovery.”

“Glenn, I want to have sex with you. The way you said. I want you to put your dick in—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on. You just went from virgin who’s never even heard of being gay, to full-on put your dick in me mode, in ten seconds, flat. That’s way too fast, Seph.”

“How long did you wait, to have sex? After you realized you were gay?” Sephiroth challenged.

Glenn’s face went a little pink. “I’m not a good example. I was a rebellious kid and I lost my virginity pretty young.”

“How old were you?”

“Fourteen.”

“I’m fifteen. Why can you decide what you want, at fourteen, but I can’t at fifteen?”

“It’s not that, it’s…there’s more to sex than just the mechanics. It’s complicated.”

“Oh. I see.” Sephiroth lowered his head dejectedly. “It’s that you don’t want to do it with me.”

“No, no—don’t get all sad like that. You’re…fuck. You’re so gorgeous I can hardly believe you’re real. But you’re still just a kid. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Sephiroth lifted his chin, haughtily. “You couldn’t hurt me, even if you did want to. I’m many times stronger than you.”

“Yeah, I know you are,” Glenn chuckled.

“So?”

“So…what?”

“So do it, with me.”

Glenn wavered, but he knew he was already a lost cause. Here was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes on in all his twenty-three years, basically begging him for it. He was in no way equipped to handle this kind of temptation.

After some admittedly muddle-headed self justification, he grabbed the med kit and dug out a tube of surgical lubricant.

“Ok. Ok. I'm ready. Let's do it.”

“Shouldn't we take off the rest of our clothes, first?” Sephiroth pointed out.

“...”

The process of two people undressing in a one-person tent was awkward and unsexy, and the less said about it, the better. One way or another, they managed to get naked together.

Glenn felt like he was drunk or dreaming, mind sluggish and hazy with lust, kissing his way down this silky, seraphic body, pushing apart a pair of slender thighs.

“Hold your legs up, for me.”

Sephiroth pulled his knees up, making a face. “I feel stupid, in this position.”

“You don’t look stupid,” Glenn murmured, as he slicked his fingers with the surgical lube. “You look amazing. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Sephiroth grimaced and shifted uncomfortably, as Glenn’s finger pushed slowly in, through the resistant ring of muscle. It didn’t hurt, per se, but it didn’t feel very good, either. Glenn took his dick in his other hand. Sephiroth gasped and jolted, as his hot mouth closed around the head. 

“G—Glenn!” he sputtered. “What are you…ha...ah!”

His protests unraveled into incoherent jumble, as Glenn took him all the way to the back of his throat. His big, calloused finger was still sliding in and out, and when it started pressing on something inside, Sephiroth had to bite into his forearm, to stifle his moans. It was like hot bolts of aching lightning, pulsing through his gut, into his balls, whenever Glenn’s finger prodded him there.

Glenn pulled off to look up at him, but he kept stroking it with his hand. His dick was leaking so much clear fluid, that it ran down Glenns knuckles. When he pushed a second finger inside, sephiroth choked and went quiet, but Glenn felt his insides clamping down tightly on his fingers.

“That’s it, baby, give it to me,” he breathed, watching the boy’s face, with heavy lidded eyes. “Good boy.”

“Hngh—ungh! Glenn! F—fuck!” Sephiroth’s first curse word came tumbling out of his mouth, as the aching tension wound to a peak and snapped. His narrow hips jerked and his dick convulsed, spurting viscous, milky-white, all over Glenn’s hand, as well as Sephiroth’s stomach and chest. His insides squeezed and contracted on Glenn’s fingers, as he massaged him through the spasms, milking out every drop. 

Glenn was so hard by now, the head of his dick looked swollen and purple, and ropy veins stood out all over the thick shaft. His balls were heavy and tight, high up against the base, aching for release. He squeezed out some more lubricant slicked it, generously. 

“Seph, I’m gonna put it in, now. Ok?”

“Mn…mm-hm.” Sephiroth nodded. 

With one hand on the back of the boy’s thigh, Glenn guided his dick with the other, to press the big, blunt head to the tautly puckered, pale-pink hole. Goddess, even lubed and stretched, the kid was as tight as a drum. Glenn pushed harder against the resistance and the head suddenly popped through. 

“Ah! It h—it hurts!” Sephiroth sputtered, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. 

“I know. I’m sorry, baby,” Glenn hummed. “Just breathe and focus on relaxing. If you stay tensed up, it’ll hurt more.”

“O—ok,” the boy sniffled.

He was looking up at him with those big, beautiful eyes, half-lidded and pink around the rims, his lips wet and parted, and tears trickling down his temples. It took all of Glenn’s self-control not to plunge in even more vigorously.

With heroic resolve, he breathed slowly and forced himself to be patient. Easing in just a little at a time, paying attention to the boy’s whimpers and groans, watching his face screw up with pain, and relax again. His pale chest heaving, with his ragged breaths. The divine, velvety heat inside him, slowly, ever so gradually accepting his cock. 

“That’s it,” he said hoarsely. “I’m all the way inside. You took it all.”

Sephiroth craned his neck to look at where their bodies were joined. Where Glenn's big, ruddy tree-trunk was stuck into his slender, white ass. His cheeks and chest were flushed pink and his body was trembling, perspiration beading on his forehead. 

“D—don’t move yet,” he stammered. “I’m not ready.”

“I won’t. Just breathe, baby.”

Glenn laid over him, kissing his lips and smoothing his hair back. Sephiroth’s muscles began to slacken, as his body acclimated to penetration, and his breathing became more normal. Keeping his pelvis flush against his ass, Glenn began to rock his hips gently, letting the boy get used to feeling a dick inside him, without the stress of him thrusting.

Glenn withdrew a little and pushed back in. “That feel ok?”

“Mm…ah. More. Give me more,” the boy slurred out, arching his spine.

Looking him steadily in the eye, Glenn began to slide out and rock back in, at a slow, gentle pace, pushing his achingly hard dick into the most divine body he’d ever touched. The boy’s velvety-hot hole resisted tightly as he pushed in, and sucked deliciously when he pulled out, till he was dizzy and euphoric, drunk on the absolute exquisite pleasure of fucking this angelic boy. 

A bizarre, aggressive instinct surged suddenly, inside him. He wanted to nail Sephiroth down, split him open, fuck him so hard he’d cry and beg for mercy. He wanted to pump him full of his seed, till it swelled his belly and came out of his mouth and nose. He’d never felt such a violent urge to dominate and possess any other partner.

He heard sephiroth whimpering and realized he’d been fucking him harder than he intended to. But even after he was aware of it, he found he couldn’t do anything about it. It was like he was possessed, by some beast in rut. 

“Sorry, Seph,” he rasped. “I c—I can’t stop.” 

He pushed his knees up to his armpits and laid into him, with ruthless energy. Sephiroth’s wet-kitten mewls only made Glenn’s burning desire blaze up even hotter. He held him down and kept thrusting, harder and harder, digging into him with his furiously hard cock, like he was trying to kill them both. 

His heart was thudding like a jackhammer and his muscles were on fire, sweat pouring down his chest and dripping from his chin, but he couldn’t come. He felt his dick swelling, getting harder and hotter, and his balls ached, so full and tight they felt like overripe melons, as they slapped heavily against the boy’s ass, but something was denying him release, holding him on the bleeding edge of orgasm.

He groaned, as the tension wound and twisted to impossible tautness in his gut. “I need to—I need to come! Please! Let me come!!”

He didn’t know who he was pleading to. The boy wasn’t stopping him, he was the one being brutally hammered by a maniac. 

“Do it,” Sephiroth panted. “C—come inside me.”

The pressure exploded like a bomb. 

“Haaa! Fuck! Ffffuuuck!” Glenn bit hard into Sephiroth’s neck, to muffle his hoarse cries, as his balls unloaded the longest, most excruciating, soul-drainingly intense orgasm of his life. He came so hard, he saw stars, feeling each individual spasm, as his dick forcefully expelled long, aching bursts of slippery-hot seed, filling the boy up and spilling out, around his shaft. Still, he kept thrusting convulsively, fucking every last drop into this perfect hole.

Half out of his senses, shaking and drenched with sweat, he collapsed on top of Sephiroth and immediately blacked out. 

—

“Glenn…” a voice said, from somewhere far above his head. 

“Hm?” he grunted, without opening his eyes. 

“Glenn,” it called again, clearer and louder. “Glenn!”

Oh, shit, it was Lucia’s voice! Lucia was going to find him and Sephiroth!

Glenn sat bolt-upright, in a panic, disoriented and temporarily blinded by the sunlight pouring in through the putty-colored canvas of his tent.

Wait…huh? He blinked blearily around, as his eyes adjusted. He was alone, in his sleeping bag, and Sephiroth was nowhere to be seen.

“Glenn!” Lucia shouted. “Wake up, asshole!”

“I’m up, I’m up,” he called back, in his gravelly, sleep-rough voice. “Quit yelling, will ya?”

“If you answered the first ten times, I wouldn’t have to,” she retorted, giving the canvas a slap. “Hurry up and get dressed. Sephiroth caught some fish for breakfast.”

“Sephiroth can fish?”

She didn’t hear him, or more likely, didn’t care to deal with him anymore, and her footsteps went crunching away. Meanwhile, Glenn was searching his tent and person for evidence of nighttime activities, but there was none to be found. He was fully clothed, and his boots were neatly placed just inside the tent flap. His underwear, however, were soaked. 

He got up and wriggled out of his pants, then peeled off the sticky undergarment. Holy shit. He never came this much, even when he was conscious. He was almost impressed. 

That confirmed it, then. It was all a dream. He hadn’t  lost his goddamn mind and fucked his teenaged commander till he passed out, last night.

Relief so potent he nearly teared up washed over him. At the same time, there was a tiny pinprick of bitterness, in it. A faint feeling of loss, he couldn’t quite quantify. He ignored it and shook himself back to reality.

How fucking wild was that? He’d never had such an intense and vivid dream, in his life, sexual or otherwise. He could still taste the boy on his tongue and smell his warm, musky scent. He could still hear his whimpering moans, when he—oops, shit.

He stopped thinking about that immediately, and used some pre-packaged bathing cloths, to clean himself up, before hastily getting dressed and heading over to the campfire. 

Matt and Lucia were seated on the driftwood logs, drinking coffee from tin mugs, and Sephiroth was tending to some fat, juicy fish, he’d skewered on sticks, and was cooking over the fire.

“Morning, Glenn,” the boy greeted cheerfully. “Hungry?”

“Hell yeah. Smells delicious,” Glenn said, rubbing his hands together eagerly. “You caught all these?”

“Mn,” Sephiroth nodded. “I was up early, so I thought I’d take care of breakfast.”

“Well now, that’s downright decent of you. Hey, can I get some of that coffee?”

“Kettle’s right there,” Matt said. “It’s just instant packets, from the MREs.”

“How early did you get up, anyway, Sephiroth?” Lucia asked, offhandedly, as she passed Glenn a mug. “I was out at sunrise, to report in, but I didn’t see you, anywhere.”

Glenn felt an ominous prickle on the back of his neck, but Sephiroth answered naturally, without a hint of anything off, in his manner.

“I went out before that. Fishing is easiest just before dawn and just after sunset,” he explained, turning the sizzling skewers over the coals. “Fish have poor eyesight, but strong shadows can scare them away. Plus, most of the insects they prey upon are crepuscular.”

“Well, that explains why I never catch anything,” Lucia grumbled. “Who wants to be out fishing at the crack of dawn?”

“You’ll never be a pro-angler, with that attitude,” Glenn chided. 

“There goes your fallback career,” Matt put in.

When the fish were done, Sephiroth handed them out, as-is, since the skewers obviated the need for plates or flatware. Then he took his own and sat beside Glenn on the log.

Glenn couldn’t help leaning back a little and surreptitiously inspecting the boy’s neck. In the dream, he had bit the kid hard enough that there’d be bruises for weeks, but it was smooth and white, and there was no hint of a mark.

“What are you looking at?” Sephiroth frowned (guess he hadn’t been as subtle as he thought). “Is there an insect on me?”

“Hm? Oh—uh. I thought there was but…it was nothing,” Glenn said awkwardly. “Thanks for the fish. Really, really good.”

“I wanted to do something, to thank you all for being so patient with me. Breakfast is the least I could do.”

Matt and Lucia chimed in with their accolades, and Sephiroth practically beamed, unable to conceal how pleased all the praise made him.

“Oh, and Glenn, I wanted to especially thank you, for last night.”

Glenn choked on his bite of fish. “W—uh. For—for last…for what?”

“Our conversation. It was very educational, so thank you.”

“R—right. No problem,” Glenn said miserably.

When breakfast was over, the group dispersed, to pack up their gear. Glenn was relieved to have a minute alone, to get himself together. He was so worked up, his head was spinning. He really had to stop eating whatever weird fruit he happened to find, on this island. These intense dreams were not good for his stress levels. 

He was rolling up his sleeping bag, when he froze, and his face drained of color. There, on his pillow, was a single, long, silver hair.

THE AUTHOR HAS SOMETHING TO SAY

was it a dream or not?? you tell me!

[anonym-potato]

Nein Again - 2x10 "Waste and Webs"

Last we left off, the Mighty Nein got to know each other a little better, and accepted probably the single official Dwendalian Job they will ever perform. Spoilers Ahoy!

I rate this Sam Riegel DnD Beyond Ad 8/10 I really like this one and the spectators cowering in the foreground really adds to it.

"Is that hard for him, cause he's not technically...recognized?" Sure Fjord that's the r word you were going to describe the Traveler as.

Canonically they have PO Boxes in Felderwin. I mean it is pretty rural.

WEIRD SHIT REPORT (A): Nott has the Ring of Water Walking now! I'm sure she'll give it back.

Sam is determined to torment everyone this episode

Eeeeeewww even the magic smells down here

Wow I forgot how gross the Sewer Rats are

Poor Beau Monks don't get their poison resistance for like 6 more levels.

Molly sounds weirdly delighted at the thought of a spider-rat

I'm kinda sad we didn't see much more of Schmidt. Unseen Servant is such a fun spell.

Boy this spider's lair is really creepy.

Travis is so proud of himself for remembering Relentless Endurance

Honestly I'm surprised they don't use an actual lollipop for Jester's Spiritual Weapon I think it would be to scale.

I do love all the gross descriptions of Molly's blood magic. Wonder how much they'll be able to get away with in the cartoon

I like Matt's little risk-reward gambit with that attack from Beau. I'm stealing that.

Molly mocking the spider to death will never not be funny

OH GOD FUCK THE BABY SPIDERS EW EW EW

"I don't need to roll an insight check to know that's bullshit." Yessss Beau

Also I believe thieves' cant is a coded language so Nott and Neck Tats were talking about like...a flower shop right then

"Does anything about his tattoo irritate me?" It took me an embarrasingly long moment to realize what that was about

And the money fight apology! Oh it's so sweet.

The only good part about Molly getting up in Caleb's face is Laura's giggling

At this point I'm kinda surprised Jester never sought out taxidermy lessons it would've come in handy with Sprinkle

This poor Crownsguard and his terrible name

Liam actually dropping the accent to explain Keen Mind to Marisha is weirdly funny.

WEIRD SHIT REPORT (B): Caleb has also stolen a set of Mariner's Armor. After some negotiation, he trades it to Fjord to for the Glove of Scorching Ray.

This is the first time Caleb and Fjord do something Real Homoerotic and Marisha just sits there like 😏

Everyone say thank you Matt for explaining the bathing infrastructure of his D&D setting.

Nott and Molly's dynamic is. So deeply underrated. "What is this?" "It's a blank piece of paper." "Oh, fuck you!"

Ulog shows up like "Alright bitches playtime's over the DM has plot for you to do"

I hope the Cat Kicker is the Obligatory Mercer Town Guard. Also did Jester canonically pick the wings off flies because that explains a lot.

In Conclusion: I hate spiders.

[chubby-aphrodite]

scooby doo and the gourmet ghost is unreasonably good for a movie with bobby flay in it as a corporate mandate. like you could take bobby flay (and the rest of the celebrity chef cameos) out entirely and the movie would be fine. better, even, because the celebrity chefs aren't very good voice actors.

unlike a lot of the scooby doo movies in the what's new era or the mystery inc era, gourmet ghost actually honest to god drops hints as to what's going on and rewards you for following along with it. very little is pulled completely out of its ass with regard to the plot. while it does pull the "obviously suspicious character who has a bone to pick with the guest of the week is a red herring" trope that so many of these movies do (see: curse of the speed demon, where's my mummy, happy halloween, aloha), it utilizes it well and clears him as a suspect early enough so that the plot doesn't dwell too long on an obvious diversion.

it also has more than one red herring for you to follow! they all make complete sense given how they're presented, so it's not an asspull where the reveal is "oh no this suspicious activity is actually something innocuous and we made the gang look like assholes harr harr harr." and the explanations for both the red herrings and the actual perpetrator are (mostly) grounded in reality; there's no helium filled monster suits or magic hypnotism or LSD gas or light projector holograms that magically work in all conditions or incredibly realistic life-like airbag dummies. (yes, these are all real examples; chill out, pirates ahoy, rock'n'roll mystery [although that one also just has actual magic in addition to the LSD gas], legend of the vampire, and curse of the speed demon. again.)

additionally, in a rare but good moment for modern scooby doo, the gang actually goes out and does research on the monster because it has a historical connection to the surrounding area! they actually investigate the mystery instead of just have things happen to them until they unmask the villain! and speaking of the villain, it has an actual creepy presence. its design is rather creepy and i praised it at one point for being wholly transplant-able into an actual horror movie; it doesn't speak at all, only making a shushing noise; and it freaks out electronics in its vicinity. there's no hammy speeches or screeching or laser sounds, it's just a good ol' creepy ghost.

the movie is actually really inexplicably good if you just ignore the celebrity chefs and mentally replace them with original characters who serve their exact roles. the only thing that even particularly pissed me off was that at one point velma says something like "fennel was traditionally used to ward of ghosts" which i feel like is a horrible game of telephone that started with "sage is sometimes used for spiritual cleansing/warding" because i couldn't find anything about fennel being associated with the supernatural aside from prometheus. garlic for vampires? sure, it even gets brought up when one of the celebrity chefs wears a garlic necklace to ward off the ghost. salt for demons? not mentioned, and honestly a missed opportunity. but fennel for ghosts? who pulled that out of their ass?

otherwise... it's good.