#sorry. ok. back to my documence

[geddyqueer]

narratively unsatisfying and inconsistent

[snowgrave]

can we all love and drink juice? i kisss stwling juic from school. i lut it in my hoodie packettes. i played rome o in my class romeo and julief. and my friends said i would look hot if i was a boy. rhey didnt even jnow! i think i smoked the boy weed that makes you a boy because im havinf kind of a boy momet. im Man Cadi now manly cadi. masculine cadi. cado. arcadio angelo. devil!!! one million devilsupon the earth! lest we trip and fall we jave to STOP THEM 🛑 RAAAAAHHRRRR (Tiger scream.)

So can you he/him me now for a little while and my boy name is Jupiter or Steak (joke dor steak its not my name but i do love to eat it) or william howard taft joined weeser or i can’t remember other names i like ill get my Goo Goo Dock You Mint (goole documant)

Okay I can be Callisto too and briar if thats for boys. Jupiter/Callisto or nickolas unless thats weird to doa d isador i would say but it makes me sound like a french man who wouldn’t be your friend and i would ve your friend and i am not french but i went there and fell aslele on a fench wnd w guy fvaped jn my face (strabwrry scented ) and cars didnt stop if you were walkinf and the lourve got hot becayse the goass roof and theres garbage cand everyrhwee! and i had a bad time in the hotel one night because of some problems with behavuor. and the instant messagimg app. Oh dhit i forgot i havw to do something slimy and sludgey like gloop and oonk slop bongo 🥁 the drums and drumsticks for playing itwait its not a bomko drum at all thats so fucking stupid i can make a carot thougk olllllllllll

🥕

Big one

carerot 🥕 now a littl eone

🥕 i can make it smaller

, ok its smaller

and now it left forever so whatever it was limited edition and if you missed it youre shit out of luck lol sorry meow yeah

Inforgot yeah im boy cadi im boy mode im man guy mode im gonna kiss all of my gay man followers before my gender changes back into a pumpkin at midnight. sorry unless you didnt get mad af me

Ooo mm going to .. BLUE Slop! Llaaaa in my sleesp now. OkAYYYY OKAY OKAY YAAAAAAAAYYYYYY LLKLLALALALLALLLLLALALA 🥕 OU MY GOD IT CAME BACK MMMMCRUNKH ch i want ghe line even Zno it even has to be even ok yay lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll oklllllll i love to hit the l button right now like yeah really

mmmaaaaaaamammfmskllla ait fels too good to tap it all I haveI MM HAVE TO GOU OK OK YAAAA

[blergeatkitty]

“You wear nothing but black shirts”

“Yeah, I bought a closetful of them. I happen to like the material and black goes with anything.

“Don’t you get tired of wearing black all the time?”

“Do you get tired of wearing white shirts every day?”

“Everyone wears white shirts to work”

“Patently untrue since I’m wearing a black shirt”

“But you look weird”

“No, I look different. You’re the one who’s acting weird about it. It’s like you have some kind of medical condition, something neurological I expect, that causes you anxiety if you see something that doesn’t reinforce your expectation of what a shirt should look like.

And any shirt of a different color causes you to have some kind of knee-jerk reaction you can’t control and instead of leaving the black shirt alone you feel compelled, obsessed even, with making it go away, with erasing it because it isn't like your perception of what a shirt should look like."

"That's not true, I have plenty of blue shirts."

"Not that it's any of your business, but do have other shirts, you know. some of them are even blue."

(goes out, changes into a fully-saturated sapphire-blue shirt)

"Better?"

"No! It's still not the kind of shirt you should be wearing to work!"

"It's like you have a whole set of invisible and uncommunicated fantasies in your head, are you ok? I could go put on my emerald-green shirt if you like."

"That's not going to make it better!"

"I have one in vermillion”

“NO. Wait, what? That’s not even a colour.”

(goes away, comes back in a lovely fully-saturated red shirt)

(Strangled noises)

“You seem to be having some kind of a mental breakdown over something internal you can’t control and you’re taking it out on me and even though I’m doing my best to help you through this you’re acting like a total freak. Were you abused as a child or something? Did someone in a fully-saturated outfit jumpscare you and beat you?

(Sigh…)

Look, all my shirts are comfortable, fitted, modern-cut, and made of high-quality material. They just happen to be on the saturated side of the visible spectrum.

Hang on. Give me a second, I have an idea.”

(Goes out, comes back in a light pink shirt)

“That’s a girl’s shirt.”

“What are you talking about? It’s a shirt and it fits me. It’s made of the same material and cut, it’s just in a lighter shade. I figured maybe it’s the brightness of the material that’s causing this weird medical hiccup of yours but I guess that’s not it. What’s wrong?”

“It’s pink. That’s a girl colour.”

“There’s no such thing as a girl colour.”

“YES THERE I- sorry, yes there is. Pink is for girls, blue is for boys.”

“Wait, so part of this medical condition of yours is the mad fantasy that at some point someone assigned a particular blend of wavelengths along the visible electromagnetic spectrum to people?”

“No, that’s just the way they should look!”

“So there’s an optical component to this disorder of yours, ok. I didn’t realize your handicap went that far. Let me see if I understand this right: You have this obsessive, compulsive need to put things into categories. There’s some kind of set of undocumented rules that you feel a need to adhere to and that gives you a certain amount of comfort and control over your life and allows you to operate out here with the rest of us. You seem either to not be able or not be willing to change the rules in your head, and you feel compelled to change things out here in the real world. Have I got it right so far?”

“The rules are documented.”

“Wait, what?”

“We have a manual”

“For interpreting reality.”

“There’s no interpretation about it. This is a manual that explains exactly how things should be.”

“I had no idea reality had one of those”

“Oh, you’d love it”

“I’m sure of that. And does that manual happen to have explicit directions on what colour work shirt you should wear to work?”

“Not as such, no.”

“Guidelines that everyone can agree on, then?”

“Guidelines, yes. Unanimous agreement…no. There are some versioning issues with the overall documentation. But we’ve been working on expurgating other versions and branches of the documentation.”

“How many different versions and branches are we talking about?”

“Oh, several hundred easily. Could be thousands. A few major ones with lots of offshoots. Even within more recent branches we’ve got issues with translation and nomenclature.”

“So use the original”

“Can’t. No one’s ever seen it. We’re working off some copies we found in a flooded sub-basement a bunch of years back.”

“Copies from a flooded sub-basement?”

“Well, translations of translations of translations of copies, yes. But we can almost certainly trace them back to the originals because our modern interpretation aligns really well with the way we’d like things to be, so we’re going with that.”

“Wait, so you can change the documentation."

"That's part of the versioning issue, but yes."

"Well why don't you adjust your documentation to include work shirts that aren't white or blue in the category of Things That Are Ok To Wear To Work?"

"It doesn't work that way. We've got an Interpretation Department and the Director of the Steering Committee there has to approve any changes before any of the managers will forward the communication."

"I thought you said there was no interpretation and that the manual just laid things out as the way they were supposed to be?"

"Well yes. And no."

"How's that?"

"The manual itself isn't vert clear on facts, it's more of a set of apocryphal anecdotes. But every week we visit the versioning chamber and get an update from a junior adjunct member of the Interpretation Department's Steering Committee what a part of the documentation means."

“Ooooookay. I am going to need more coffee before I hear the rest of this.”

(Exit, wearing perfectly ordinary and acceptable pink shirt)

“you wear that a lot” yes that is because i, a proud owner of a washing machine,