#source: twpromptsillneverwrite

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Stiles: So, we ran the numbers and 9 out of 10 people think we look good together. Derek (cracking his knuckles): Out of curiosity, where does the 10th person live?

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Stiles: If we have a child, I think they should take your last name. Derek: I have two questions, the first question: why my last name? Stiles: It's shorter and easier to spell. Derek: That's a good point, second question, WHY WOULD WE HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER? WE AREN'T DATING OR ANYTHING. Stiles: Damn! I knew I was forgetting something.

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Stiles: There's nothing that I wouldn't do for $20. Scott: What if I gave you $20 to have sex with Derek? Stiles: Then you'd owe me $40.

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Stiles: Do you wanna have my cherry? Derek: Pretty sure I already got it. Stiles: From my cake. Derek: Yeah! That's where I took it from. Isaac: I think next time you should celebrate your birthday on your own.

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Stiles: I just know it's gotta be big. Danny: Are you still trying to calculate how big Derek's dick is from his pictures? Stiles: Don't tell me you don't wanna know! Danny: He’ll hear you. Stiles: Just cause he's a werewolf doesn't mean he can hear everything. Danny (leaving): He's been hiding in your closet for the last 30 minutes.

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Stiles: I'm cold Derek: You should have brought a jacket. Stiles: Give me your jacket, asshole. You don't even need it. Derek: Having a boyfriend sucks. Stiles: I don't see you complaining when your boyfriend sucks. Derek: ... Derek: You're talking about... Stiles: Yes, I'm talking about sucking your dick.

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Peter: Are you having sex with Derek? Stiles: If I were having sex with Derek, do you think I'll keep quiet about it? Derek: You're not very quiet about it. The neighbors complained again.

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Stiles: I'm getting tired of waiting for you to make up your mind, so here's a list of reasons why we should date. Number 1: My sense of humor is original and... Derek: It's okay, I accept. Stiles: You should know better than interrupting me when I'm in the middle of something. Derek: How long is this list? Stiles: I came up with 81 reasons we should date. Derek:... Fine, go on.

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Peter: I think you may have daddy issues. Stiles: What!? My father was amazing, I don't have any daddy issues. *Derek arrives without a shirt* Stiles: I may have mommy issues cause I want him to breastfeed me.

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Stiles: Have you ever noticed Derek has a really fat ass? Scott: I hadn't noticed, I usually just stare at his chest. Stiles: Yeah! He has huge tits too. Isaac: Why do I even hang out with you?

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Lydia: How long is Derek... Stiles: Around 9 inches, probably a little bit more. Lydia: ... going to take to get here? Stiles: Please, don't tell him I said that.

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Isaac: What did you get in number 3? Erica: You can clearly see we are not doing the assignment. Derek (arriving): What are you doing at my place? Isaac: I have nowhere else to be. Erica: I know where you hide your junk. Boyd: Erica asked me to come with her. Derek: ... Derek (sighing): Did you at least order dinner?

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Stiles: mmm! Scott: What's on your mind? Stiles: Do you think Derek's dick is as big as his dick was an adult? Young!Derek: You know I can hear you. Stiles: Then answer the question.

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Therapist: Stiles! So glad to see you? How was your week? Stiles: I'm good, just this time I heard Da...rek... Derek! Therapist: That's a normal reaction, you shouldn't feel ashamed. Stiles: Well, he was telling mom, I mean Peter! I meant Peter! Therapist: That's a little bit odd though.

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(sorry i change it a bit.)

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Stiles: Does this shirt make me look fat? Peter: It makes my dick look fat. Stiles: I can never talk to you. Peter: It's getting fatter.

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Scott: Now that you're dating Stiles, it's time we have the shovel talk. Derek: What are you talking about? Scott: You know... I have a shovel, and I know how to use it. Derek: Am I supposed to be scared of your shovel? Scott: Not the shovel, what happens before I have to use the shovel. Stiles: It's okay, Scott. You're doing great!

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