#spider tags placed so that peoples tag filters will catch them

[rukafais]

Jobs nobody mentions in Lolthite cities: The entire class of servants who have to hand-feed all the sacred/pet spiders

[doing-an-okay-job-miranda]

The Night Fellow

AO3 / Masterlist

Warnings: Body Horror, Monster Virgil(he’s a creepy friend right there), mentions of violence and shooting, descriptions of teeth, please let me know if i should tag anything else

Summary: 

The Night Fellow is a creature made of both flesh and metal that lives in the long-abandoned mansion on top of the hill outside of town. At night, the Fellow creeps out of their home to roam through the trees and walk along the overgrown path between the mansion and the town.

Logan has a fascination with this (somewhat) passive creature and decides to go find it.

Or, Logan hunts down the town's local cryptid and shoves his hands in their mouth and the thing kinda decides they like him.

-----

The Night Fellow is a creature made of both flesh and metal that lives in the long-abandoned mansion on top of the hill outside of town. At night, the Fellow creeps out of their home to roam through the trees and walk along the overgrown path between the mansion and the town.

 Upon first glance on a dark trail, one might think the Fellow is a normal person, a tall stranger out for an evening walk. There aren't have managed to get close to the creature as the moment they sense someone nearby, they drop to all fours and disappears into the trees. The few that have snuck up on the fellow describe black eyes with glowing white dots for pupils, shaggy dark hair, their fingers end at their knuckles, and are replaced by long thin mechanical claws. They say the Fellow's teeth are like knives and they can open their jaw wide enough to fit someone's head inside their mouth.

 Logan kinda doubts that last bit.

 The night fellow is not inherently violent despite his frightening appearance, they flee at the first sight of people and the only record the town has of an actual attack beyond a few shallow scratches is from a man hunting out in the woods who shot at them, said man had been found with terrifying claw wounds and bite marks after being dumped on the edge of town by the creature.

 Logan always finds that part interesting. The town as a whole made it a silent rule that as long as you leave the Night Fellow alone, they'll happily leave you alone as well but the creature could have very much left the man they injured to bleed out in the woods but instead, carried the hunter back to town and left him where he could get help.

 Logan knew of the teens that were dared to go up the hill and try to enter the mansion, would overhear a group of friends talking about their adventure during the classes he taught. One had told him that the Fellow had crawled along the walls and ceiling like a spider, another said they barely made it a foot in the door before the Fellow charged at them on all fours and slammed the door as the stumbled back outside. One young girl who had been to the mansion multiple times told Logan that the Fellow is much less likely to chase you out if you knock before you enter and stay in the main foyer, she told the teacher about her friend who tried going through the halls only to have the Fellow follow directly behind them until they left.

 The more Logan heard about the Night Fellow, the more curious he became. It could be dangerous, from what Logan understands, the Fellow can get a lot more aggressive towards adults who invade their home then the kids the Fellow simply scares off or let's wonder until either bored or unnerved by their presence but that just makes it all the more interesting.

 Logan finds himself trudging up the hill at dusk on a weekend. The creature is aware enough to recognize age differences, the Fellow can tell when someone is a threat and is content to either scare them off or flee from them with only one case of actual harm being argued as more self-defense then anything malicious, especially since the fellow recognized that their attacker would die if left intended and took the effort to get him to safety.

 So, Logan stands in front of a mansion that's standing in fairly good shape for a building that's been left to the ages for longer then he's been alive through the gate has been long since destroyed. The teacher knocks on the large door and gives it a few moments before carefully pushing the only slightly rotted wood open and steps inside to the foyer, guiding the door to only be open slightly before he turns around to face the room.

 After clicking on his flashlight, he looks around the place. The room looks like it hasn't been touched in ages. Dust and grime coat every surface along with layers of cobwebs that cover everything, accented with the smell of mildew in the air. Logan makes a note that he shouldn't stay inside too long, he hadn't thought about what sort of mold may be growing in this old place and thus didn't bring any sort of filter to breathe through. He'll have to remember that for next time but for now, short term exposure wouldn't do any lasting harm and he came all the way out here for a reason and he'll be damned if he doesn't catch at least a glance of the Night Fellow.

 The sun outside is quickly setting, the dirty windows barely probably would barely let light in if it was full daylight so Logan's only left with his flashlight as his only light source in the dark. He only makes it a little bit in, standing in the center of the foyer when he hears the soft ticking of a clock.

 It's strange, looking around the room Logan can find an old clock on the floor but it's long broken. The teacher doesn't have to wait long to figure it out as he hears the quiet creak of metal and a ruffle of fabric directly above him.

 Logan barely manages to stumble backward in time, shining his flashlight up in time to see a black blur drop from the ceiling and land on the floor where he was standing with a heavy thud. The teacher has no time to think as the creature immediately scrambles onto all fours and charges at him, he backs away quickly dropping his flashlight in panic as the thing comes right at him-

 No! Logan locks in his legs in place and holds his breath, his heart pounds as he fights every instinct in his body telling him to flee. He shuts his eyes tightly, arms defensive raising to cover his head but beyond that, he forces himself to stay still and breathe through his nose.

 The Night Fellow won't hurt him as long as he doesn't give them a reason to.

 Sure enough, the sound of scrambling limbs stop and Logan doesn't feel any sort of pain from an attack. The ticking noise is much closer, directly in front of him but it gets drowned out by an animalistic growl so deep that Logan can feel the vibrations in his ribcage.

 "I'm not here to hurt you." The teacher tries to keep his voice even but he's shaking to the core. "I'm not going to cause you any trouble." He doesn't even know if they understand him but he slowly lowers his arms and forces his eyes to open.

 The Night Fellow is low to the ground, head bent back at an awkward angle to stare up at him little glowing white dots in their eyes. They're breathing too hard, chest rising and falling rapidly like they're panting but Logan can't hear them breathing. His flashlight is knocked to the side but it provides enough light for the teacher to get a good look at the Fellow.

 He has to commit everything to memory, choppy hair, wide sunken eyes, their mouth slightly open, and filled with far too many teeth. It looks like they're wearing some patched up robe with loose sleeves that bunch on the floor, very poorly hiding the beings metal claws. The ticking noise is coming from the Fellow, Logan can tell that much but he's not entirely sure where or why there's ticking.

 "Do you speak English?" Logan asks them to receive nothing but their unblinkingly stare. "Can you understand me?" Once again getting no reply which is disappointing as he hoped he would be able to ask the Fellow questions but they seem content just staring at him, he can't be sure if they don't understand or just don't care to answer.

 Logan takes a deep breath to calm his nerves before crouching down slowly to be eye level with the Fellow, they back up a step as he moves and the teacher suppresses a shudder at the unnatural angle their legs move in. He meets the being's eyes and feels a chill down his spine but most of his fear takes second place to his fascination.

 "You're an incredible being." He mutters mostly to himself but for once his talking to himself is helpful as the Fellow seems to respond. Their pupils shrink into slits as they rear back, their gaze flickering around the room like suddenly he was the scary thing. "It's okay." He tries to soothe as he reaches forward. "I mean you no harm."

 The Night Fellow opens their mouth, letting out a low growl as his hand gets too close but the sound cuts off as Logan grips their jaw without thinking, completely forgetting his self-preservation in favor of getting a better look at their teeth.

 "Fascinating." Logan breathes, keeping a grip on their chin with one hand while the other pushes on their cheek to tilt their head back. "I was lead to believe that your teeth are made of metal but these are all bone." The teacher strokes his thumb over one of the being's large canines but quickly retracts it as the Fellow tenses their jaw and sharp metal teeth snap down to cover the bone. "Oh, amazing! Retractable teeth, they almost resemble the teeth on a bear trap."

 The light from Logan's fallen flashlight did a well enough job at lighting up the room but without it in hand, it's a bit harder to see clearly the details inside the Night Fellow's maw. There's a whirling noise in the back of their throat as Logan let's go of their jaw to reach into their mouth, feeling around the gums to make out the sheath that contained the metal teeth when retracted. The Fellow's bone teeth still stood out behind the metal and Logan carefully maneuvers his fingers past the sharpened metal to rub the duller, more human teeth at the back.

 (He makes a note that the Fellow's jaw is stretched unnaturally wide and seems like it could go wider.)

 "Is that a..." He mumbles to himself, squinting inside the being's mouth in hopes of making something out in the darkness. "It looks like you have a cavity filling." Logan really can't tell for sure without proper lighting but it does seem like it. Are there dental records of this creature? As far as Logan knew the first confirmed sighting of the Night Fellow was about sixty years ago and they've always been very avoidant of people, only recently getting bolder in scaring away those that wander too close.

 Logan pulls back enough to insect the being in front of him. They're wide eyes watching him intensely, at some point while Logan was inspecting their teeth they shifted to rest on their knees and their hands hover near Logan with claws facing towards him like they're ready to strike but hesitating.

 It's this moment that Logan remembers that he's in front of a very dangerous creature, figuratively putting his head in the lion's mouth. Sure, the Night Fellow seldom injures anyone but most people don't actively interact with them.

 "Ah, I apologize." Logan carefully removes his fingers from the Fellow's mouth and winces as the being's mouth snaps shut near immediately, the metal clinking gives a harsh reminder that the thing could have very well of bitten his fingers off. "Thank you for your patience with me, I got a bit too excited there but I should have asked permission before touching you."

 The Fellow's hands lower from their tense position, lowering down to rest on the ground and Logan can make out some of the intricate details of the joints where those thin metal blades connect to their middle knuckle. He nervously wipes his hands on his shirt to rid them of the being's saliva, it's a shame as the teacher would love to collect a sample of it but he hadn't expected to actually get this close to the Night Fellow and thus didn't think to bring a kit.

 The Fellow doesn't seem agitated, thankfully. Their head tilted slightly in curiosity as they seem to inspect the human in front of them. Logan's still not entirely sure if they understood anything he said, let alone his apology but they don't seem to hold any ill will towards him which helps Logan not worry too much when they shift closer to him.

 He manages not to flinch when the being reaches forward and wraps their "fingers" around his wrist, he doesn't even try to resist as they pull his hand closer as gently as possible. The teacher is rather amazed to find that the finger-like blades aren't actually sharp, their edges dulled down. Logan's sure that they're still dangerous if the Night Fellow put intent behind those claws but at the moment their touch is gentle as they have his hand resting palm up, it certainly helps Logan feel less nervous as they raise their other clawed hand and traces the blade of their pointer finger from the veins on his wrist to the tip of his fingers.

 Logan does his best to keep his hand still for them while trying to figure out what they're doing, the glide of the pointed metal across his palm tickles slightly from how gentle the being is and each time his fingers so much as twitch, the fellow lets out a soft warbled noise and stills their motion until Logan holds his hand still long enough.

 Logan doesn't realize how much time has past, the teachers legs ache from being in the same position for so long but he doesn't dare move as the Night Fellow traces the wrinkles in his hand. He commits each detail to memory, the being so focused on whatever it's doing gives Logan the perfect chance to observe it's appearance for any missed details. He wishes he could grab his sketchbook from his side bag but that would require moving and also reclaiming his dominant hand from the creature in front of him so instead he just memories to recreate later.

 They are both startled when a loud trilling noise rings out from the room, the Fellow drops Logan's wrist as he jerks back in surprise and claw at their chest until the noise stops. They jerk their head up suddenly, looking up past Logan where he's now sitting and upon following their gaze Logan sees one of the dirty windows.

 Any trace of light from the setting sun is long gone, the only light source is Logan's flashlight and the Beady little dots that are the Night Fellow's pupils. The teacher scrambles for his phone from his coat pocket, it lighting up and revealing multiple missed calls from his friend but Logan ignores them more the moment.

 12:01 AM

 Logan must have been here hours without realizing it.

 The Night Fellow seems to realize the passage of time skipped over them too as they flickered their gaze between the teacher and the dark window. They almost reach towards him again but draw their hand back, seeming to debate with themself before letting out a huff of air in probably the most human gesture Logan's seen from them tonight. Their claws scrape the floor slightly as they push themself up and onto their feet, standing tall and towering over the teacher.

 Logan is not a short man by any means but he certainly feels small as the Fellow steps around him to get to the front door, the being standing taller than the frame. Yes, Logan had known that the Night Fellow is a tall imposing figure when standing but he wasn't expecting the being to be a good bit over seven feet tall.

 The Night Fellow looks back at him for a moment after they pull the door open but doesn't wait for Logan to scramble to his feet before they duck out the door and begin their night walk, leaving the mansion's door open. The teacher rushes for his flashlight and follows after them to find them already at the edge of the property and walking past the decrepit gate.

 Logan had to run to catch up to them, finally getting close just a little ways past the tree line when the Night Fellow suddenly freezes and jerks their head to look at him. The sudden movement startling Logan enough that he stops himself several feet away from them.

 Logan mostly expects the Fellow to drop on all fours once more and flee into the forest but instead the being just stands there and watches him. The teacher takes a breath, figuratively throwing caution to the wing for the hundredth time this night.

 "May I walk with you?" The teacher makes a small gesture towards the path in front of them. "I have to return to town and it seems like you're heading that direction."

 The Fellow doesn't respond to him but doesn't run from him either, they simply turn their head back forward and continue their walk, though Logan notes that they move slower than before which allows the teacher to catch up and walk beside them.

 "So, you can understand me?" He asks only to be met with a side glance from the being. "Have you always lived in that mansion?"

 The Fellow immediately looks tense and walks faster, the muffled sound of metal scraping together comes from them as Logan has to jog to catch up to them.

 "Wait, I'm sorry!" Logan tries to amend. "I won't ask any questions, we can walk quietly."

 The Night Fellow shoots him a look and narrows their eyes at him, which is the first time Logan's seen that their eyes haven't been completely wide open. He wants to ask if they need to blink, if their eyes are mechanical or flesh, how well can they see-

 But he keeps his mouth shut and the Fellow slows their pace again for him which at least confirms that they do seem to understand him to some level.

 Logan has so many questions ringing in his head as he watches them from the corner of his eye.

 What are they? Did their mechanical parts need upkeep? What was the quiet ticking that followed them around? How much of them are flesh and how much are metal? What do they eat? Do they even need to eat? Why do they choose to live in that mansion? Why did they always go for these night walks? Is it easier for them to crawl rather than run?

 Logan keeps these thoughts to himself. He instead listens to the sounds of the forest around them, animals tend to fall silent around supernatural creatures and this is no less true for the Fellow. All Logan can hear is the rubble shifting with each of their steps, the occasional strange mechanical noises that come from the being's movements, and the ticking noise that Logan theorizes much be some sort of clock they have under their robe.

 The Night Fellow stays with him longer than Logan expects them too, he figured once he hit the main road that they would take off but they stay by his side(though seemingly following him more now that their off their normal path) until the first lights of town come into sight at which they stop.

 Logan pauses when they do, turning to face them for a moment. "Thank you for walking with me." He offers a smile to which the Night Fellow nods, the first absolute sign that they understood him.

 The teacher watches as they take a few steps away from him before dropping into a crouch, giving him one last look before they disappear past the trees and into the darkness.

 There's no way Logan is letting this be his last encounter.

[rogersthat-cap]

Silver Lining | Two

Summary: Peter Parker left behind someone when he was snapped away. Now, he’s back and you have to figure out what this means for the two of you.

Warnings: Nah.

Author's Note: Y'all I can't believe how much love chapter one got. You are blowing my mind! This chapter isn't as long but it's been dancing through my head all day. Please don't get used to these quick updates - I don't want to disappoint if they don't happen! People are also asking me if they can be tagged, and I don't know how to do that. When I figure that out, I'll be sure to do it! Thank you for all the love, guys. Please continue to reblog, like, and comment - it really encourages me to keep on writing! Stay lovely. xx

(Songs mentioned are Bloom by the Paper Kites and Mess is Mine by Vance Joy.)

Read chapter one here!

-- 

“Daughter?” Peter feels cold wash over him. He feels a weight in his chest, a pang of loss? Of fear? “But I – we – how?” Peter’s mind is racing. It’s all finally starting to make sense. There were parts of you that he knew were different and he’s starting to see them. There are bags underneath your eyes that couldn’t have just come from fighting. There’s a weight to yourself that you carry now, and Peter wishes he could find a way to help you bear it. Your belly sticks out just a little bit more, something that can’t be changed with training because it is proof that you’ve carried a child. My child, he reminds himself.

“Well, when two dumb seventeen year olds really love one another..”

“(Y/N), will you please just be straight with me?”

But you don’t want to be. You want to be angry at him, difficult even. You’ve raised your daughter without her father. It’s these primal maternal instincts. The memories of you rocking her to sleep or staying up when she was colic all by yourself. During those late nights and early mornings, you did your best to get by without help from your friends. You could still do it.

When you look at Peter’s face, you realize that’s selfish. He’s sweaty and covered in dirt. His eyes are wide with shock and desperation. He’s here now, still seventeen years old. He has a chance to know the daughter you both created, and who are you to keep him from her? To keep her from him?

“I found out a month after.” You swallow back tears, remembering the day. “I had ignored it for so long, thinking that the morning sickness was just because of how overwhelmed I was. I was so upset and mad. Steve was the one who convinced me to go to a doctor. I went and” your hand ghosts over your stomach, where you carried your beautiful daughter for nine months, “then I had our baby.”

Peter sniffles, wiping his eyes. “This is crazy, baby.. I don’t..” He lets out an exasperated sigh, hands splaying out because he just doesn’t understand what’s happening. He doesn’t know what to say, know what to do. “I'm sorry I wasn’t here.”

“It's not your fault..”

“But it is. I should’ve listened to you and stayed.”

“Pete, there’s no way you could’ve predicted you wouldn’t have been snapped away. You could have been here and it still happen.” You step closer, putting your hand on his cheek. You run your thumb across his cheek, catching the tear that’s fallen from his eye. He relaxes into your hand, closing his eyes. He’s so tired, so overwhelmed with new information. But there’s just one more bit that he’s dying to know.

“What’s our little girl’s name?”

There’s an excitement that runs through your veins. You can’t help the smile, and you swear Peter can feel it too. He opens his eyes, watching your face and still leaning against you.

“Amelia May.”

The smile that breaks across Peter’s face makes your heart jump. You take your bottom lip between your teeth. He chuckles a bit, turning his face to kiss your palm.

“So you took my suggestion?” His eyes are playful, suggestive. For him, that memory was only a month ago. For you, it has been playing in your mind for years. Peter leans his face away from your hand, but you let it trail down until it rests on his chest. Right over his spider emblem, where you know his heart lies underneath.

“How could I not?”

-Flashback-

_His bare skin is warm against your own. Almost hot to the touch, no thanks to his metabolism. You press a kiss to his chest before looking up to him. _

_He grins down at you, brushing your hair away from your face. His voice is a near whisper, “You’re beautiful.” It makes you blush. These moments always do, when it’s just you and Peter under covers and behind closed doors. You hum in appreciation. “I love you.” _

_“I love you too, Peter Parker.” He leans down as you lean up to kiss him. It’s a gentle but passionate kiss. There isn’t a need to rush or be hasty like there was minutes ago. Peter keeps an arm wrapped around you but places the other behind his head, propping it up. You turn slightly so you can hold his hand. You begin to play with his fingers, and he obeys each movement you put them through. Each bend and stretch, he’s yours. Always will be, he thinks. Seventeen but he’s undoubtedly, hopelessly yours. He closes his eyes, listening to the faint music as you continue the exercises on his hand. _

“When the evening pulls the sun down, and the day is almost through, the whole world is sleeping, but my world is you. Can I be close to you?”

_“When we have kids, I’d like to have a daughter..” Peter breaks the silence. You can’t help but snort. _

_“Well, I’ll do my best to provide that.” His eyes are still closed. There is a grin on his face, amused by your joke. _

“And I’d like to name her May.” He states, opening his eyes to look at you. He squeezes your hand before dropping it. You lay a hand on his chest. He puts his fingers in your hair, tugging gently at the ends of it. “What do you think of that?”

_“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Pete. She’ll love that.” You smile up at him, and he can’t help but be caught up in the moment. You’re positively glowing. Peter’s heart swells in his chest and he can hardly believe how lucky he is. He loves the way that the rays of sun filter through his bedroom window and onto your skin. The way it shines through your hair and highlights it, creating a new color that he isn’t sure how to describe. “But we need to focus on graduating first.” _

_“Don’t you worry, baby. We have all the time in the world.” He smiles before he rolls on top of you once more. You giggle at the added weight, humming in delight as his bare body covers your own. He presses a tender kiss to your lips, and you only catch a snippet of the new song playing over his speakers before you’re too caught up in him. _

“Hold on, darling. This body is yours, this body is yours and mine. Hold on, my darling. This mess was yours, now your mess is mine.”

“I missed you so much.” You purse your lips together, desperate to not cry. Peter notices, and he pulls you into his arms. He wraps them tightly around you, and you return it.

“What does this mean for us?”

“I don’t have a clue. I mean, you're still in high school. I'm in college and raising a kid. I don’t.. I don’t know how this is supposed to work.”

“Well, we’ll take this one step at a time. Just like everything else.” The smile he gives you reminds you why you fell in love with him. It makes the years you've lived without him wash away. You can nearly feel his bedsheets brushing your skin. “And I’m here to help you with Amelia, like I should’ve been.”

“That’s true.” You hum, nodding. “But you’ll have to meet her first.”

[today-only-happens-once]

With Great Power - Chapter 5

Title: With Great Power – Chapter 5

Catch up (or read on AO3) here!

Fic summary: Thomas Sanders is just a regular social media personality. But when he gets bit by a spider during filming one of his YouTube videos, his whole life is about to turn upside down—whether he (or the aspects of his personality) want it to or not. Platonic LAMP/CALM + Character!Thomas. Spider-Man AU.

Chapter word count: 3,515

Chapter warnings: cursing, nightmare mention, anxiety mention, minor spoilers for Danny Phantom.

A/N: Almost a month later, here’s chapter 5! So sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoy it! <3 Shoutout to @creativenostalgiastuff for her help as always. Edited by yours truly so all mistakes are mine.

Tags: @captain-loki-xavier, @human-dictionary, @the-peculiar-bi-tch, @mining-pup, @band-be-boss-blog, @asexual-trashbag, @samathekittycat, @why-should-i-tell-youu2, @theobsessor1, @always3charcoaltea, @changeling-ash, @logical-princey, @crimsonshadow323, @flickering-raven, @smokeyrutilequartz, @dontbugmeimantisocial, @liz-a-bell, @black-king-white-knight, @soijusthavetoask, @analogical-mess, @marvelfangeek09, @vigilantvirgil, @princelogical

Sorry for the delay, everyone! Thomas types out for Twitter, a couple days later. Wasn’t feeling great but we’re back at it! New CT coming to you soon!

He pauses, then looks up at Joan across from him, sitting on a chair in Picani’s office. “Hey, what if we did a livestream tomorrow?”

He still feels bad for having gone MIA for a week. Or, as MIA as Thomas ever really went. He’d texted Joan, Camden, and Talyn basically every day to tell them he still wasn’t feeling his best. It wasn’t… a total lie, he’d told himself despite the guilt that sat uncomfortably in his stomach. It definitely hadn’t helped that he’d consequentially been postponing finishing up the filming of Cartoon Therapy due to his absence. It had been a couple of weeks now without any video to post on either channel.

Joan looks up from laptop poised across their lap. “Uh, I can do that. As long as it ends before 6, ‘cause my piano lesson starts at 6:30.”

Thomas smiles. “Perfect. I just feel bad for making them wait, y’know?” To make up for it, he adds to the tweet, we’ll be having a Livestream tomorrow at 4! Open to everyone, not just members. Hope to see you all there!

“You can’t help that you got sick,” Joan replies as Thomas sends the tweet out. “They understand.”

“Yeah, but… y’know.” Thomas lifts a shoulder. “I just wanna do something for them.”

“It’s cool, man,” Joan replies. “I think it’s a good idea. And it’ll give us a nice break from the editing and shit.”

“Speaking of—” Thomas grabs the pen and journal prompts from the bookcase behind him—"how’s Camden handling his part of things? I haven’t talked to him about the vid in a while.”

“I think he’s almost done,” Joan replies. “We just gotta finish the last of Picani and we should have the rest of the footage he needs to finish his section.”

Thomas nods and adjusts the knot in the pastel green tie around his neck. It had seemed like every time they’d tried to film the rest of Picani, something got in the way. Thomas loved acting and he loved the filming stage of videos, but a small part of him just wanted to be done with it. The sooner he could be done filming, the sooner he could focus on… more pressing issues.

“Then let’s finish Picani,” Thomas says lightly. “We’ve just got the last scene with Valerie’s character, right?”

Joan nods. “Yep. Shouldn’t take long at all.”

“Awesome.” Thomas glances in the viewfinder and pushes the bangs that were falling into his eyes out of the way. “Ready when you are.”

Joan hits record on the camera, then looks down at their script. “I have to be the adult, y’know?”

Thomas taps his pen against his mouth, looking carefully at Valerie’s sightline. “You know, Elena… Danny’s older sister feels that way for much of the show, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Jazz is only a couple of years older than Danny. But she often feels like she has to be the adult in the family because she sees her parents as a bit… immature.” Thomas leans forward slightly. “So she acts way older than she really is. But that mentality ends up backfiring on her when she takes it a little too far.”

“Too far?”

Thomas places his pen on top of his journal in his lap. “In Season 2 Epsiode 7, Danny has to fight a ghost that can only be seen by kids while he’s on vacation with his family. Since Jazz acts and thinks of herself as an adult even though she’s only 16, she can’t see the ghost and starts to think—along with her parents—that Danny is going crazy.” Thomas pauses, remembering that they’d wanted to cut in with a video clip there. Then he continues. “Though her concern is well-intentioned, it leads her to trapping Danny and the ghost goes after their parents. It’s not until Danny is able to get Jazz to act like a kid again that she’s able to see the ghost, and ultimately help to save her family.”

Joan rolls their eyes to keep in character as they read Valerie’s lines. “Fine, but my family’s not under attack by ghosts.”

Thomas sighs. “You’re right. But the point is that Jazz thought acting like an adult was helping the people around her, when it really wasn’t. When she actually started acting her age was when she was able to be the most help—especially to her little brother, who was the whole reason she’d been acting so much older in the first place.”

“Huh…”

“From that point on,” Thomas continues, “Jazz tries to find a balance. She’s a mature person, and nobody was asking her to change that. But she also comes to understand the importance of still being a kid. She learns how to balance the two in a way that doesn’t ask her to sacrifice any part of who she is.”

Joan pauses. “I… guess I could try that. Maria isn’t a little kid anymore, even though I still think of her as my baby sister.”

Thomas gives a small, encouraging smile. “It’ll take some time. Learning balance is not as easy as flipping a switch. But it’s something we can continue to work on. It might even help your relationship with your sister in ways you don’t expect.”

Joan gives a single nod. “I’d like that.”

“Great!” Thomas grins. “So I’ll see you next week?”

“Definitely. And… thanks, Dr. Picani.”

“Any time, Elena.”

…

“We can tell them. Should we tell them? We can tell them. I think. Wait…”

Thomas laughs as Joan stumbles through their thoughts about half an hour in to the livestream. He laughs even harder when he sees the chat blowing up with people asking Joan to just say it already. They’d decided to go back to Thomas’s apartment for the livestream, if only for sake of tradition. Not every livestream had been from this location, but Thomas wanted some of the normalcy back. And Joan, though they’d seemed puzzled, didn’t appear to mind.

“I’m good to tell them who it is,” Thomas says.

“Wait, who as in the…” Joan arches an eyebrow. “Or…” They tilt their head. Perhaps strangely enough, Thomas knows exactly what they’re asking.

He laughs again. “Real name, not the character name.”

“Yeah, okay. That’s what I was thinking.” Thomas and Joan both look back at the camera.

“It’s Valerie,” Thomas says. “The new character we’re introducing is played by my friend, Valerie. Some of you probably know her, since she’s been in… a good number of our videos. We got really lucky that the schedules worked out, since she’s auditioning in Orlando at the moment.”

“Yeah, she’s actually been in a lot,” Joan says. They start counting on their fingers. “Reasons to Smile.”

“On the Spot in the Spotlight,” Thomas supplies. “Which we’re still planning on bringing back.”

“The first Tongue Twisted.” Joan snaps their fingers and points at him. “She’s been in a few of your shorts videos, too.”

“I feel like we’re missing something.” Thomas glances at the chat and smiles at the people shouting SANDERS SIDES in all caps. “That’s right! Goodness gracious, she was in two of the Sanders Sides videos.” He shakes his head. “Sorry, guys. Guess I’m still a little out of it.”

He manages a small, apologetic smile. But a moment later, there’s a flood of messages in the chat telling him not to worry, asking if he’s feeling better, reminding him to rest and drink water… he feels a sharp twist of guilt. He tries not to linger on it.

“Let’s see… other questions….” He watches the chat closely, the knot in his stomach loosening slightly as the messages filter from well wishes to questions again. One of them makes him frown. “Someone’s asking if I’ve seen the Ekko videos?” He glances over his shoulder towards Joan. “I haven’t. Is that a new thing? I don’t know if I’ve heard of them.”

Joan looks suddenly uncomfortable. They shrug, but its awkward and forced. “Yeah. It was all anyone was talking about a couple days ago.”

Thomas hadn’t been checking social media over the past week. A part of him felt relieved that they’d at least moved on from trying to identify who “Spider-Man” was. “What are they?”

Joan gives him a quick look. “I’ll… tell you after the livestream.” Thomas couldn’t quite read their expression, but there was a warning look in their eyes that made him nod his agreement. Whatever it was, Joan didn’t want to talk about it with an audience. They wanted to change the subject.

At Thomas’s nod, Joan leans forward to read the scrolling chat feed until they find a different question. Thomas glances at the screen as well, and sees a few questions with “Spider-Man” in them—they go too fast for him to identify what exactly they’re asking—and feels himself tense. Joan doesn’t seem to even notice the questions.

“Here’s one,” they say after a brief pause. “Thomas, if you could be any kitchen appliance, what would you be?”

As the livestream continues, Thomas finds himself falling into old, comforting habits. He’d always had fun doing livestreams, especially ones with Joan. He appreciated their ability to be thoughtful and intellectual one moment and crack a joke that would make Thomas’s stomach hurt from laughing the next. A part of him feels like he appreciates it now more than ever. Joan is his best friend, and he can tell them anything.

Well… almost.

The idea of telling them about the recent… abilities Thomas had come to acquire made his stomach squirm and his heartbeat quicken. He couldn’t quite explain why. Joan would probably be skeptical—even Thomas hadn’t believed it at first—but the powers were something he could prove, a voice that sounded an awful lot like Logan reminded him. He’d been proving his abilities to himself all week, after all. Maybe he knew there was a chance that Joan would freak out and never talk to him again. They wouldn’t do that. The thought sounds like Patton.

Even so, something whispers safer to not tell them in the back of his mind, and Thomas can’t help but believe it.

“I gotta go soon,” Joan says. They look at Thomas. “Should we end with Mind Meld or something?”

Thomas pushes his bangs out of his eyes. He smiles. “Yeah, let’s do it.” Thomas pauses, thinking of his first word. “Okay. Ready?”

“Yeah.”

“3. 2. 1. Giant,” Thomas chimes at the same time that Joan says, “Apple.”

Thomas laughs. “Giant and apple?” He makes a face. “I don’t even know where to go with that.”

Joan grins in amusement, then thinks. “Okay. I think I have one. Super and apple.”

Thomas stares at them in uncertainty before he gets an idea. “Okay. I do too. It’s kinda weird, though.”

“3. 2. 1. Honeycrisp,” Joan says at the same time Thomas spits out, “New York.”

“I was thinking like, a giant apple. New York?” Joan laughs. It makes Thomas laugh too.

“I was thinking like, ‘giant as in ‘big’ and then—”

“And then you went to Big Apple,” Joan finishes. “Okay. I kind of get that. Honeycrisp and New York. Uh.”

Thomas’s eyes widen as he frantically tries to think of some sort of connection before one occurs to him. “Okay! I think I got one. It’s… broad-ish?”

“Broadish?” Joan starts laughing again. “That’s very helpful.”

“Okay, like,” Thomas waves a hand. “Kinda broad.”

Joan furrows their brow before shrugging. “What the heck. 3. 2. 1.”

Thomas says ‘vendor’ and Joan says ‘food’. It takes another round before they both eventually end up saying ‘restaurant’. Thomas grins when they finally get there. He looks back at the camera.

“Took us a minute but we got there! Thanks for sticking around, guys. This was a lot of fun. Super glad we had the chance to do this.” He glances at the chat, laughing at all the reactions of people playing along. In the midst of the messages—some of them now transitioning to sweet goodbyes—he sees one that catches his eye.

oof after that ekko vid I could use a new reasons to smile

Something uncomfortable sits in Thomas’s chest, but he flashes a quick smile at the camera. “Love you all! Bye!”

He stops the livestream and closes his laptop. Joan sits back in their chair, the spark of amusement from the game of mind meld fades out of their eyes. He’s reminded suddenly of the solemn, uncomfortable look Joan had given him when he’d asked during the livestream about whatever the ‘Ekko video’ was about.

“I saw that message. I know what you’re thinking,” Joan chimes in quietly after a moment. “It’s… not something you really wanna watch, dude. Trust me.”

“Why?”

Joan sighs and reaches for their water bottle. “It’s just… this thing that freaked everyone out. I don’t know how to explain it, but Talyn had nightmares after they watched it.” They take a drink. “I think it’s just someone trying to get some attention. The best thing to do is probably not to give it to them, y’know?”

Thomas nods absently as Joan pushes back from the table and heads towards the kitchen. Talyn didn’t really spook easily. They played horror games for fun in the dark alone. Thomas had never really been that kind of person. But he can’t deny that he’s curious. A part of him does want to know, if only out of a morbid kind of curiosity of what could have that kind of impact on his friends. Even though Joan had talked about Talyn’s reaction, it was clear to Thomas that it had bothered them too.

Dishes clatter in the sink as Joan sets the water bottle they’d borrowed from Thomas amongst the plates and bowls that Thomas hadn’t gotten around to cleaning yet. Neither of them said anything, letting the whir of the AC unit fill the uncomfortable silence between them. Something about it had gotten under Joan’s skin. Something they weren’t telling Thomas.

Thomas opens his mouth to ask them about it when Joan interrupts him suddenly. “I don’t know, man. It was weird and it felt like a warning of some sort. Maybe that’s why Talyn and I both felt a little paranoid after we watched it.” Their dark eyes flicker up to Thomas as they turn from the sink to look at him through the cut out opening above the counter into the living room. “I just don’t really want to dwell on it.”

Thomas caves and nods. “Okay.”

“But if you want to do another Reasons to Smile, that might be fun. A few people in the chat were suggesting it. Maybe that’d be a good idea.” They cross back into the living room and grabs their jacket from the back of the chair.

“Sure,” Thomas says, still a little lost in his thoughts. What could be so bad about that video? “Yeah, I’ll reach out to Camden and the team and whoever is in town to see if they might wanna join in. Maybe I can get Lee or Mary Lee to join this time.”

“Cool.” Joan stops after they’ve pulled their jacket on. Thomas can feel their gaze on him. “You okay?”

Thomas blinks and shakes his head to clear it. “Yeah. Just worried,” he says honestly. He offers a faint smile. “You and Talyn don’t usually get freaked out easily.”

Joan gives him a look. “We have anxiety,” they deadpan teasingly. Thomas huffs a laugh, even though it does little to expel the tightness in his chest. Joan sighs softly. “Really, Thomas. We’re okay.”

Thomas nods again. “Okay.”

“I gotta run,” Joan says, sounding faintly apologetic. “I’m gonna be late for my lesson.”

Thomas gives them a smile that he hopes is reassuring. “Go. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Joan closes the door behind them.

…

Thomas slips his phone into the back pocket of his jeans and cranes his neck up towards the night sky. It’s  little late to be posting the Sunday Shout-Out video, but he liked the nighttime. The parking lot is empty except for his car, and even though he knows he ought to just go home given the hour, a part of him wants to stay out just a little longer.

Thomas sighs and jumps up on the trunk of his car and sits. He fold his hands behind his head and leans back against the windshield, looking up at the stars. Most of them are drowned out by the streetlights that illuminate the lot, but Thomas doesn’t mind. A cool breeze plays with the ends of his hair. It’s calming.

Thomas sighs and closes his eyes.

“I really ought to insist that you go home before too much longer, Thomas.”

The internet personality smiles faintly at the sound of his Logical Side’s voice. He cracks an eye open to find Logan standing beside the car, his arms crossed over his chest and an eyebrow cocked. Thomas’s lips curl up in a faint smile.

“I know, Logan.”

“If you know, then why do you appear to be falling asleep in the middle of an abandoned parking lot?”

Thomas sits up. “I wasn’t falling asleep.”

Logan hums, seemingly unconvinced. “All the same. Optimal rest is necessary for you to maintain a healthy lifestyle.”

“I know.” Thomas shakes his head a little, still smiling, and leans back again. “But this is nice.”

“This?” Thomas can hear the skepticism and confusion in Logan’s voice and tries not to laugh.

“Yes,” Thomas replies. He shifts over. “Take a seat. Try it out for yourself.”

There’s a brief pause, and Thomas isn’t sure whether or not Logan is going to take him up on the offer. Then Logan climbs up on the car, mirroring Thomas’s position beside him except for the folding his hands across his stomach rather than behind his head. Thomas smiles again. He’s a little surprised, although he supposes he shouldn’t be. Logan was the part of him that sought to learn, after all. And if Logan didn’t understand the appeal of something, he could usually be convinced to try it at least once.

“See?” Thomas says after a moment. “It’s nice.”

Logan doesn’t reply right away. “Perhaps.”

“The whole day was kind of nice, actually,” Thomas continues. He lets his eyes drift closed again. “It felt… normal.”

“Normal is a widely subjective term, Thomas.”

“Normal for me, I mean.” He takes in a deep breath of the night air. “Filming, livestreaming, hanging out with Joan. I think maybe I needed that. I needed a day to just be… normal again. Maybe not everything has to change, y’know?”

Logan doesn’t say anything. Thomas feels him shift beside him and he cracks an eye open. Logan is looking up at the sky. The streetlights reflect off the lens of his glasses. A short gust of wind tugs at the end of his stiped tie. There’s something in his expression that Thomas can’t quite read.

He doesn’t dwell on it. Thomas follows Logan’s gaze back up to the sky. “Do you remember,” Thomas asks, “when I was like, seven and wanted to be an astronaut?”

“Yes,” Logan replies. “I do remember that. It was an aspiration that lasted for nearly a full year.”

Thomas glances over at him. “Do you wish I still wanted that?”

Logan adjusts the frame of his glasses before folding his hands across his stomach again. “I don’t believe it’s that simple. I was more than content at your chosen field, Thomas, short-lived as your use of it may have been.”

“You’re talking about chemical engineering.”

“Indeed.” Logan is still looking up at the sky above them. “Although, such fields of study have many unexpected benefits. Perhaps it will prove useful yet.”

The corner of Thomas’s lips curls up in a faint smile. “Perhaps,” he says, echoing Logan from a moment ago. A comfortable silence settles between them. For all the times that Logan and Thomas had been at odds with each other, he’d never doubted that Logan was doing his best to look out for him, just like all of them always did. Most of the time, Thomas found Logan’s company a quiet kind of grounding. Calming. Tonight was no exception to that.

Thomas listens to the crickets and sound of distant car tires rolling on pavement for a long moment. His eyes drift shut again.

“You are getting tired,” Logan says softly, moments before Thomas was about to fall asleep. “I really must insist that you go home to ensure your safety.”

Thomas blinks his eyes open and sits up. He scrubs a hand across his eyes, bangs falling across his face in the process, and smiles tiredly at Logan as the Logical Side sits up beside him.

“You got it, Logan.” He pauses, the smile a little. “And… thanks.”

…

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Good Omens Chibi Headcanons Part 3

Headcanons for when Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley interact with each other. (Got inspired by cute chibi fanarts I saw on here made by artists with the usernames asunnydisposish and kimmigawa.) THANK YOU TO @luna-sheep FOR READING THIS FOR ME!👍

Part1: https://enchantedchocolatebars.tumblr.com/post/186828312632/good-omens-chibi-headcanons-part-1

Part2: https://enchantedchocolatebars.tumblr.com/post/186898556182/good-omens-chibi-headcanons-part-2

Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley:

 • They mainly speak gibberish but they can sometimes say and use english words. Both their gibberish and english sound very cute!

 • Tiny ineffable husbands/friends!

 • Is it dumb luck? Yin and yang? Or the Almighty simply working in mysterious ways? Whatever it was, when Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley work together, there's nothing they can't do! Size isn't even an issue!

 • They have their own best friend handshake! (It's really cute and it ends with them making a hand heart with each other's hand.)

 • A best friend theme song that fits them perfectly is this! (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_jEsOxkT0iw)

 • And the song that describes their relationship is this! (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BnTthKo4bLg)

 • Chibi Aziraphale thinks that Chibi Crowley is sooo cool! He also finds him to be really fun as well! The demon has taught him so many fun, new exciting human games such as "tag", "hide and seek" and one game that Chibi Crowley likes to call "playing tricks on the mortals". With that game, the angel didn't mind playing along, s-so as long as the pranks they pulled were harmless and no humans got hurt or injured by them. (Oh, and when playing tag or hide and seek, Chibi Aziraphale had to be really careful cause sometimes Chibi Crowley would get really excited when playing and would end up using his powers which caused a bit of havoc. The demon was oblivious to the destruction he was causing.) Chibi Aziraphale really appreciates Chibi Crowley's kindness! Sure, the demon tried coming off as if he's not, but Chibi Crowley was always doing nice things for his angel friend.

 • Chibi Crowley likes Chibi Aziraphale's good natured personality since having it made it easier for him to tease and tempt his friend. While he enjoyed teasing and tempting the angel, the demon would never take it too far and often did it in a playful way. Chibi Crowley is also really glad that Chibi Aziraphale has a sweet tooth because now he's got someone to share his gummy snakes with! He knows that the angel was book smart due to him spending most of his time in the bookshop with Aziraphale, but he also knew that the celestial being was innocently unaware of certain earthly things. The demon remembers once having to explain to Chibi Aziraphale what a toaster was.

 • Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley put on a reenactment play about Aziraphale's and Crowley's friendship across the ages! They even wear costumes of the outfits that their big counterparts wore through those centuries. This was their first play so they had to make it something exciting, something classic, something that the audience would never forget! The performance was being held in the backroom of Aziraphale's bookshop. A toy theatre stage was set up on the table and Aziraphale, Crowley, and Chibi Aziraphale's Harry the Stuffed Rabbit plush were the audience. The lights in the room dim and the spotlights shine on the curtain. The curtain is then opened, and the show starts! When saying their lines, Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley used a mix of both gibberish and english. From the audience, Aziraphale acts like a supportive parent at their child's first ever school play cheering, applauding, and shrieking in utter excitement almost every time his chibi says or does something in a scene. This makes Chibi Aziraphale smile and wave at his big friend each time on stage. "He's so cute and talented, isn't he?" Aziraphale would whisper to Crowley, referring to Chibi Aziraphale. Did Crowley notice little errors, faults, and flaws in the play? Yes but...he just couldn't dislike it. He still appreciated the effort and dedication the two chibis put into it. I mean, the performances themselves weren't too bad, the sets, costumes, music and props seemed alright, and the two tiny entities did look like they were having alot of fun with the whole thing despite the very small audience. His favorite parts had to be seeing his chibi be over the top playing as him. It made him smile and he couldn't help but chuckle at the smaller demon's exaggerated acting. The play itself was just Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley trying their best to be accurate, but they end up making it their own cute, comedic remake due to most scenes being over the top and exaggerated, them adding in little random things that didn't exactly happen and them having characters who were also in certain eras ( like Adam and Eve, Jesus, Jean-Claude, Shakespeare, The Nazis, the group of thieves and criminals, etc.) as either small toys, small stuffed animals, small cardboard cutouts, chibi sized hand puppets or inanimate objects who they also sometimes had to play as/pretend to be. Some might say that it's impossible for a play to work with only two people in it, but somehow the chibis do, and it's very adorable.

 • Imagine them doing a reenactment of the entire show.

 • Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley had been to alot of fun places in London before, but their all time favorite place where they had the most fun had to be the fun fair. (The toy shop was their second favorite, the zoo was third and the sweet shop was fourth.) An over-excited Chibi Crowley appears in the book shop one day to show Chibi Aziraphale a really cool poster that he found that showed an advertisement for a fair that was in London and suggests that the two of them go! The demon's never been to an actual fair before, but he's seen tons of commercials for them on TV at the flat and they looked like alot of fun. The angel's never been to a fair before either, but the pictures on the poster did make the place seem like alot of fun. To him, the place looked like one big playground! He agrees to go, and when the two arrive there Chibi Aziraphale is immediately fascinated by everything! Seeing the extremely interested look on his friend's face makes Chibi Crowley smile as he takes the heavenly being's hand and leads him to the attractions. The two have a wonderful time riding the carousel horses/other small mechanical rides and bouncing up and down on the inflatable bouncy castle. After that, they go looking around for more fun things to do. Chibi Crowley spots a haunted house horror ride and gets an excited twinkle in his eye! The demon absolutely adores spooky things! Big spooky fan, him! (He gets it from Crowley.) Chibi Aziraphale on the other hand...not so much. Being that he's easily frightened by stuff, (especially scary stuff) the dark, creepy look of the attraction gave him goose bumps, and at first he wasn't willing to get on. Well, that is until Chibi Crowley somehow tempts him into going on the ride with him. Now riding the ride, Chibi Crowley was pumped, Chibi Aziraphale the exact opposite. On the angel's side, ghosts and ghouls pop up at him in a jumpscare fashion, making a loud, frightening sound, followed by zombies and spiders doing the same on Chibi Crowley's side, then a collection of monsters and other spooky things all around. Each display causes Chibi Aziraphale to squeal in fear while Chibi Crowley squealed in delight. The demon even made frightening noises back at the monsters. After the last display, Chibi Aziraphale is still a little scared, but he's very glad that the ride was finally over. In the house of mirrors, the two chibis were fascinated by the mirrors abilities to make their reflections appear big and tall! When they leave, Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley both see a photo booth. Excited, they rush inside the booth and take several photos. In the first photo, Chibi Aziraphale and Chibi Crowley smile, a halo filter above the short angel's head and a devil horns filter above the short demon's head with the captions reading "Best Buds!" "BFF's!" and "Literal Angels!" In the second photo, they both flex their muscles, and the caption reads "So Strong!" In the third photo, Chibi Aziraphale laughs as Chibi Crowley hangs upside down, tongue hanging out and eyes rolling crazily. The caption reads "Silly!" In the fourth photo, this time Chibi Aziraphale makes a silly face and Chibi Crowley is the one who laughs. The caption reads "Also silly!" In the fifth and final photo, Chibi Aziraphale smiles and holds up the peace sign and Chibi Crowley grins playfully while holding up bunny ears above the angel's head. Emoji heart filters surround them with a caption that reads "Ineffable babies!" At sunset, at a game booth, a dart is thrown and pops a balloon. A boy with a blue baseball cap has made the throw and ends up winning a prize for his girlfriend. Chibi Aziraphale points to a giant white teddy bear angel and wants for Chibi Crowley to win it for him. The little demon gives the angel a small nod and a thumbs up. He then uses his powers to launch all the darts and pops every single balloon. A loud bell rings and a "winner" sign lights up as Chibi Aziraphale cheers for Chibi Crowley. They win the bear and Chibi Aziraphale gives his demon buddy a big thank you hug. Chibi Crowley tries to hide his smile but can't. At night, the two are taking a stroll. Chibi Crowley was pulling a little red toy wagon that the giant angel teddy that he had won for Chibi Aziraphale was sitting in. As he looks up at the carnival lights, Chibi Aziraphale moves his hand towards Chibi Crowley's hand, gently takes it and begins holding it. The move catches little Crowley off guard, but he quickly smiles when he sees the angel is at ease. Feeling playful, the demon swings his held hand back and forth a bit. The two were heading towards the ferris wheel as their final ride. A fireworks show is in full swing! The sky was filled with them! Chibi Aziraphale, Chibi Crowley, and the teddy bear were sitting together in one of the ferris wheel cars watching the show. Chibi Aziraphale watches the show in complete amazement! This was his first time ever seeing fireworks before. When the angel asks Chibi Crowley what those beautiful bright coloured lights that kept making loud noises in the sky were, the demon says to him that they're called fireworks. He tells Chibi Aziraphale that big Crowley had once told him that fireworks were these giant explosions in the sky, and the reason they exploded was because they contained this stuff that the humans put inside it called gunpowder. Chibi Aziraphale sighs blissfully at the sky. He loves the earth so much, the planet was filled with so many amazing things! He hopes that one day he and Chibi Crowley will get to see all the wonderful things this world had.

[pennamepersona]

Where's the Logic in Giving Up Love and Morals When You Don't Want a New Job, Anyway

-All appropriate tags available on the ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15346800 -

“And of course, we’ll need you to terminate your professional association with Deadpool,” The agent says, and Peter’s head snaps up to look at them, not even pretending to scan the contract in front of him any longer.

“Come again?” Peter asks, making no effort to mask his irritation.

“Deadpool is not an acceptable individual for a SHIELD employee to be known to associate with,” The agent says, sounding surprised that Peter is finally saying something. “His methods are not condoned by the agency.”

Peter just stares in disbelief for a long moment.

“You are aware that SHIELD has assassins on staff, right?” He asks. “Like, assassins plural. As in more than one.”

“The less commonly accepted methods that SHIELD has employed are not public knowledge.” The agent says. “Deadpool’s methods are very well-known and generally frowned upon.”

Peter takes a deep breath and leans his forehead on one hand.

“You’re all such awful hypocrites,” He says, exhausted and upset down to his bones, but unwilling to lash out in an enclosed room with only a SHIELD agent and himself inside. He doesn’t trust SHIELD at all, has stayed away from any and all of their offers for as long as he could, but came to this interview anyway, if only to get them off his back.

He never intended to actually sign on as a - what was the title again? something like, “exclusive super-powered freelance agent through the Avenger’s initiate” - but figured there was no better way to get them to stop asking than to hear them out and summarily reject them.

Now he’s wondering if it was really worth it.

“I understand that your relationship with Deadpool will likely continue regardless,” The agent says, smoothly, and Peter wishes they’d stop talking because he really, really wants to punch them, and that seems unwise right now. “We only ask that it remain out of the public eye.”

“Yeah, fuck that,” Peter says, standing up and walking over to the door, hoping that it’ll open for him without fuss. “I already wasn’t interested in the job, but if you’re going to keep up with this shitty double standard for Wade, you can consider me completely off SHIELD’s contact list for good.”

“Spider-man, please,” The agent says, a touch of concern in their voice now. “We ask that you reconsider. The good that you’d be able to do if you joined - ”

“I do plenty of good now.” Peter says, turning back to glare coldly at the agent, who actually flinches slightly. Coward. “A lot of it thanks to Deadpool’s help. Now, are you going to let me out, or do I have to call for help?”

The agent gulps, pressing a button under their desk, and the door swings open. Peter marches out of it without a backward glance, practically running through the building to the nearest window, which he jumps out of almost on instinct, shooting out a strand of web to catch himself, immediately swinging to the next building, and then the building beyond, until he lands on the roof of Wade’s apartment complex.

He goes down the fire escape, skipping every other step, sliding easily through the window to Wade’s living room once he reaches it.

“Wade,” He calls, yanking off his mask and taking a deep breath of non-filtered air. “I’m back, where are you?”

“Bedroom, Peter-man,” Wade calls back, and just at the sound of his voice, Peter feels some of the tension bleed out of him. He goes into Wade’s bedroom, almost entirely packed into boxes that will soon be taken to their new apartment. The little thrill that Peter always gets at the thought of them finally moving in together still comes, and though it doesn’t lift his spirits entirely, it goes a fair way to improving his mood.

“How was the job interview?” Wade asks, half-laughing as he tosses shirts haphazardly into a box. Peter pulls them out and starts folding them, then replacing them carefully into the box, smiling as he sees that about a third of them are either shirts he’s left here or Wade stole from him ages ago.

“Awful,” Peter says, honestly. “I already wasn’t interested in the job, but then they said if I took it, I couldn’t associate with you as Spider-Man anymore.”

“Whaaaaaaat?” Wade says, drawing out the word into a half-whine. “But I’ve been cleaning up my act! Seventy-five percent less unnecessary violence, Peter, and sixty percent less killing overall, and them’s good numbers! I’d like to see SHIELD pull out those kinds of results from their butt murderers.”

“Assassins,” Peter corrects, absently. “And yeah, I know. I told them they were being hypocrites, and that if they kept it up, Spider-Man wasn’t going to respond to any of their calls, anymore. Scared the agent pretty good, too, so hopefully it sticks.”

“Aw, spidey, you do care,” Wade says, putting a hand to his face and striking a ridiculous pose straight out of a bad anime. Peter half expects Wade to call him “senpai” next.

“Dude, we’re literally moving in together,” He says, laughing. “If I didn’t care, I sure wouldn’t be subjecting myself to your messy ass twenty-four seven.”

“Love you too, pumpkin,” Wade grins, closing the shirt box and taping it shut. “Now then, what’s your sweet self craving for dinner?”

“How about that sushi place down the street?” Peter suggests, and judging by Wade’s squeal, he’s made a good choice. “My turn to pay, remember.”

“See if you can beat me to it, then,” Wade challenges, chuckling when Peter flicks his forehead before grabbing a change of clothes from one of the few drawers that hasn’t been packed up.

“Gimme ten minutes and then we can get going,” He says, brushing a quick kiss to Wade’s lips.

“I’ll drag your ass outside if you’re not done in five,” Wade says, pinching said ass as he walks by, laughing loudly at the subsequent yelp.

“You should probably find a new roof to hang out on, now,” Clint says, striding casually over to where Peter’s lying on his back, looking up at the clouds as they slowly turn from white to faintly pink and purple, reflecting the setting sun.

“Wade said to wait here,” Peter says, not moving. “And so here I wait.”

Clint doesn’t say anything back, just drops to lay next to Peter in companionable silence, which Peter expects won’t last long, but appreciates nonetheless.

“You really made a statement at that interview,” Clint says, after a minute or so of quiet, which is longer than Peter thought he’d last, so really, props to Clint. “Pissed a few people off, especially once the footage from the security feed got stolen. They might unofficially suspect Deadpool, but not enough to do anything about it.”

“Wade didn’t,” Peter says, almost certain.

“He did not,” Clint agrees. “I did.”

“Why?” Peter asks, honestly surprised. He turns to look Clint in the eyes, but Clint’s still staring up at the sky.

“Because you’re right.” He says, sounding just a bit tired. “SHIELD has a shitty double standard, and besides that, Wade does damn good work. He’s not subtle enough for them, is their problem, but honestly, fuck that. Wade’s probably the most honest out of all of us, and if that makes it so they can’t use him, that’s probably a good thing.”

Peter doesn’t say anything for a longer moment than originally planned, too shocked by Clint’s outburst of emotion against the agency he’s been working with for a long time, to Peter’s understanding, to be certain of what to say. Clint just sighs, long and more than a bit tired, now.

“I like Wade,” He says. “We don’t hang out a lot, but when we do, he’s a breath of fresh air. I can only let my guard down around so many people, and Wade’s right up there with Nat for easiest person to talk to. I respect him and how he does his work and lives his life. I’ve done a lot of objectionable shit in my life, and I’m sure I’ll do more, but I’m not about to just sit there and see Wade Wilson get bad mouthed. Mild annoyances might be all I’m up to at the moment, but you two’ve got me in your corner, alright?”

“Okay,” Peter says, still unsure of what to make of all this, but then Clint snaps upright and scratches at the side of his head and yawns.

“Welp, that’s all the emotion and sincerity I’m due for today,” He says, stretching and popping out his hearing aids. “Tell Wade I said hey.”

Peter gives him a thumbs up, which Clint nods at before jumping off the side of the tower to what Peter assumes is some kind of safe ledge. He doesn’t hear any crashes or shouting, and he’s seen Clint do way more risky looking maneuvers and come out fine, so he isn’t worried.

“Spidey-pie!” Wade shouts, dropping down onto the roof from seemingly nowhere, startling Peter more than he cares to admit.

“Wade, you scared me,” Peter says, standing up and leaning hard into Wade’s firm body. “Clint says hey, by the way.”

“Oh, rhymes,” Wade purrs. “I’ll tell the purple bird hells-o next time I see him, but not tonight. We’ve got date night, and I’m not about to forfeit that, even for a good ol’ pal like Hawk’s Eye. Wow, and he’s even blonde, too. Not a lot of personality similarities, though, so I guess it’s just the sharpshooting. She did guns, too, and Barton’s way more into the old-fashioned bow and all those Cupid’s arrows aimed towards platonic appreciation, isn’t he?”

“I’ll take you at your word,” Peter says, guiding Wade’s arms around him before leaping off Avenger’s Tower into freefall, catching them about halfway down at the exact second before Wade’s shrieks hit an uncomfortable pitch. “Where to, babe?”

“August fourth!” Wade shouts, and Peter rolls his eyes with enough fondness that his chest clenches, steering them in the general direction of a Mexican place he can remember going to sometime last fall, knowing that Wade will guide him if he goes the wrong way.

Peter’s about 84% of the way through finishing up with his current project, so he’s completely planning on staying overnight to push through and just be done. It absolutely isn’t the first time he’s done it, and he knows it won’t be the last, especially since he’s still doing this after finishing his Master’s six months ago. Beyond that, it isn’t as though he lacks for company in the labs, even at two in the morning.

What is surprising, though, is the company he has tonight. This morning. Whatever, he’s had coffee, but not enough for a worthwhile thought process that isn’t attached to his work.

“‘Sup?” Peter asks, absently, poking a small and obscenely sharp scalpel at tiny filaments.

“Do I have to do small talk before I say the important thing?” Dr. Banner asks. “Because I’m still not good at that.”

“Nope,” Peter says. “Get real, Dr. Banner. I live with Deadpool, I gave up small talk a long time ago. Also, I suck at it, too.”

“I’m positive I’ve told you before to call me Bruce,” Dr. Banner says, sounding a bit tired, but when Peter glances up, he’s smiling.

“You’ve got, like, a bajillion PhDs, Dr. Banner. Gonna show some respect. Besides, I like you.” Peter says, setting his small scalpel down, just in case this conversation requires actual mental fortitude.

“Seven PhDs, actually.” Dr. Banner says.

“Dude, it’s two in the morning and I’m doing science. I respect you, but not enough to remembers details at two in the morning when I’m doing science.” Peter says, leaning heavily into the lab table.

“It’s five thirty,” Dr. Banner says, looking a bit concerned.

“Oh,” Peter says. “Well, that’s cool. So what’s up?”

“Um,” Dr. Banner says, showcasing off his finely honed communication skills. “I heard about Wade and SHIELD.”

“Did he do something recently?” Peter asks, trying to go back through the past month or so and recall Wade saying anything particularly odd that could’ve been translated to ‘I blew up a SHIELD helicarrier because I wanted to test a new cocktail of explosives’ if someone Not-Wade had said it.

“Not that I know of, but probably,” Dr. Banner says. “Just sort of judging by his usual - anyway, no, I meant what you said during your interview.”

“Oh, that,” Peter says. “SHIELD sucks. No offense, Dr. Banner, I know they’re what keeps you and your research going smoothly, but I’m not a fan.”

“Neither am I, if I’m being honest,” Dr. Banner says. “But Asgardian research grants aren’t really a thing, and the research I do is important enough to be worth dealing with a clearly corrupt and dangerous agency.”

“I’m betting that having a boyfriend who’s a literal god and could kick SHIELD’s collective ass doesn’t hurt,” Peter notes, which makes Dr. Banner flush faintly and nod.

“That, too. But you are right, is the point, specifically about how they treat Deadpool. I don’t know him personally, but I know you well enough after working with you for this long to trust your judgement of him. I’ve seen how much he helps you with, um, with your mental state.”

“He gets it,” Peter says, simply, not quite sure if he’s making sense but very sure that he’s tired and probably isn’t going to end up finishing his project tonight. This morning. Seriously, whatever.

“I can see that,” Dr. Banner smiles, again. “I just wanted to let you know that, while this is technically a SHIELD facility, you and Deadpool are supported by Thor and me, which Thor said, loudly, to some of the SHIELD staff who were talking about revoking your access to the building.”

“Oh, shit,” Peter says. “Whoa, thanks Dr. Banner. That’s. I didn’t know that was happening, though I should’ve guessed, probably, but anyway, thanks so much, jesus, that’s really good of you guys.”

“I like to think we get it,” Dr. Banner says, a bit wryly, which makes Peter laugh.

“Yeah, I think you do,” Peter says. “Now, not that this hasn’t been a great talk, but I’m gonna call my boyfriend to pick me up, now, because I don’t think I’m actually conscious enough to get home on my own.”

“You have friends in all directions,” Wade murmurs, the rumbling in his chest making Peter sigh softly, leaning further into him.

“We both do,” Peter says, taking his volume cues from Wade. “They see you. They might not know you like I do, but not everyone on the outside pretends you’re unmanageable.”

“So I’m hearin’,” Wade says. “Nice to be appreciated.”

“You deserve it,” Peter says, leaning up to kiss him. Wade returns the kiss, but keeps it soft, gentle, unhurried.

“Deservin’ ain’t a part of lovin’,” Wade says against his lips. Peter hums his assent and leans back in, savoring the taste of his concrete happiness.

[breebeelee]

Search Engine Optimization Tips For A Beginner

Attracting visitors to a business website or blog is critical, as it's impossible to make any money without a steady stream of visitors. If you need to ensure your website is seen, it is a help to use SEO. Peruse the following piece to get some terrific advice about making search engine optimization work for you.

You can improve your websites search engine optimization by keeping up-to-date with the way search engines index websites. Search engines are always refining the algorithms and procedures they use to evaluate websites and filter out spam. By researching developments in this area you can ensure you are always doing all you can to improve your site's position on search engine results pages.

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To avoid duplicate content clogging up search engines, you need to be sure that the search engines know exactly which pages to index when you create and upload new pages. You always need to delete the old pages completely from your server and make sure that you're only indexing the newest and most relevant content.

If your site has a defined set of categories, optimize the URLs on your site to contain the keywords associated with the categories. Say you have two categories, cats and dogs. Google likes it better if the URLs for such a site are mysite.com/cats and mysite.com/dogs as opposed to something like mysite.com?category=1. Even more importantly, people searching for a keyword associated with one of the categories are more likely to arrive at one of your subpages when you use a logical URL structure.

Make your descriptive tag engaging. Google and other search platforms will use it to create that little blurb about your site. Users often read these before deciding whether or not to visit a site. Concise, descriptive blurbs draw visitors to your site, sometimes even before sites that rank higher than yours in a search.

Avoid flash as much as possible if you want to enhance your search engine optimization. Flash is not accessible to the algorithms search engines employ, rendering the content you create almost useless from a search engine optimization standpoint. Instead, use images and text menus as these are easily detected and factored into your ranking on search results pages.

It is never a bad idea to add another quality section to your website. When you add content onto your website in whatever form, you make your site more informative to your clients and gain greater search engine visibility. Therefore, you in turn will receive more visitors and you will have more opportunities to catch their attention.

Test your third party resources before you use them, and ask others who have, how they performed. You do not want to find yourself relying on a search optimizing tool that is completely inaccurate or faulty. Ask around, try them out, and make the best choice for what you need.

Always do keyword research. Selecting the right keywords is the most fundamental part of SEO service and by doing initial keyword research, you can save a lot of time and money. If you don't do any keyword research, you could end up wasting months optimizing for keywords that nobody searches for or keywords that have really tough competition.

If you want your website to get a lot of hits, it is important that you create plenty of relevant keywords. This is important because without creating these keywords, people using search engines are less likely to be directed to your page. Make sure to clearly describe what your website is about.

A good rule of thumb for proper search engine optimization is to include your keywords and keyword phrases in your HTML title tag. Your title tag is among the most important places to have your keyword as they are strongly weighed by search engines. They are the most appropriate place for you keywords for the highest level of optimization.

To help people find your site through search engines while your page rank is still low, link to your content on Reddit. Reddit is a website with a high page ranking that is frequently checked by Google. Linking to your content and giving it a keyword rich title will allow users to find your site when a search engine leads them to the Reddit page it's posted on.

Posting links to your website in forums and on blog comments can help improve your site's search engine standing. Remember that the value of a link depends on the popularity of the page it comes from, though. Make sure you comment and drop links on well-established discussions that already have high rankings of their own.

To increase your site's profits and improve your search engine rankings at the same time, work to improve your click through rate. Several major search engines have stated that they use click through rates as part of their page ranking algorithms. More clicks means more profits from ads, and more visitors who are genuinely interested in your site.

Flash navigation might be pretty, but a search engine spider can't even see it. If you insist on having your navigation, or entire website, built in Flash, make sure you provide alternate HTML navigation somewhere on each page. Also, have HTML pages available so that the search engine can index them and give you a correct Page Rank.

You can use a sub-domain to hone in on highly specific content within your domain - think 'finance.yahoo.com' or 'health.cnn.com'. You can then use that sub-domain to host all of the content that is dedicated to that particular subject. Using a sub-domain makes the site's code more efficient, and more visible to search engine spiders.

The first few pages in a search engine results show the sites that will get the most visitors. Use the tips you just read to help attract visitors to your website or your blog. Search engine optimization will greatly improve your ranking.

[captainmarvels]

cozy nights

Summary: The holidays + Tom; could there possibly be anything better?

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1,014

A/N: Dedicated to my darling Cass, @purelyparker! hope you enjoy, xx | masterlist

The winter holidays were your favorite time of year - the food, the festivities, the love, and the people. Especially the people.

December and January meant Tom would be home for quite a while, which in turn meant you’d finally have him around for longer than a week or two. You and Tessa could not be more excited.

You were tidying up Tom’s place when you noticed your phone screen light up, a ridiculous picture of Sam’s face appearing on the caller ID. You grabbed the device off the coffee table, dropping down onto the couch as you answered the call.

“My favorite Holland brother, what’s up?” Sam chuckled at your greeting, other voices filtering in and out in the background.

“Don’t let Harry know that, Y/N! We’re on our way back now - should be there in the next 15 minutes,” You smiled at the thought of finally seeing Tom, laughing when Tessa jumped onto you the second you started to speak.

“Oh shit, oh yeah, no, we’re ready. He doesn’t know we’re here, right?”

“Nope - hold on, Tom, shut up, would you? You’ll be home soon, loser,”

“He’s already whining?” You giggled at the thought of Tom already bugging his brothers, even when he hadn’t been back for a whole hour.

“When is he not? Alright, we’ll be there soon, Mum! Tom, quit it!” You laughed, slipping in your goodbye before Sam hung up. Tessa licked your chin as you set your phone down on the table, her paws resting on your chest.

“Hey pretty girl, Daddy’s gonna be home soon, yeah? C’mon, let’s finish getting everything ready!”

You stayed hidden in the kitchen, Tessa sound asleep on the sofa across from you. You had just gotten a text from Harry, telling you they were just about to pull into the driveway. You soon heard voices shouting outside, followed by the jangling of keys.

“Bug off, Harrison, you’re the worst!”

“Hey, not my fault somebody can’t keep their mouth shut while sleeping!” You clapped a hand over your mouth, stifling the giggle bound to erupt at the thought of Tom slightly drooling while asleep - poor boy.

“Oi, Spider-Man - where do you want us to put these, since apparently we’re your handmaidens or somethin’?” Harry sounded annoyed, only to burst out laughing.

“Just leave them by the stairs; I wanna call Y/N and see if she wants to come over - she hasn’t answered any of my texts yet.”

“It’s noon, mate. She’s probably still sleeping!” Harrison and Sam rounded the corner of the hall into the living room, signaling for you to come out, Harry and Tom not too far behind.

“That’s rude to say, Haz - we all know you’re the laziest one here!” Sam high-fived you, the pair of you giggling when Harrison glared at you, but your fit of laughter was soon replaced with a loud squeal when you were tackled down onto the couch, barely missing Tessa, who hadn’t yet woken up from all the fuss.

Tom’s face was buried in your neck as you finally settled into the sofa cushions, his arms tightly wrapped around you, while his lips left soft kisses under your ear.

“I missed you, darling.” He whispered gently, his lips finally making their way to your lips before you could greet him.

“Dear God, please get a room! We have children present!”

“Fuck off, Harrison!” You and Tom shouted in unison, causing everyone to laugh as they began to make themselves comfortable. Tom pushed himself off of you, taking your hand in his to help you up. He brought you into his chest, hugging you tightly as he kissed your forehead.

“I missed this,” You whispered into his coat, his chest vibrating with laughter as he pulled away, tipping your chin up so you could meet his gaze.

“I’m all yours now, love.”

After some well overdue catching up over tea and hot chocolate, the boys left, leaving you and Tom to unpack and get him settled for his well-deserved holidays.

Tom was lying back on the couch, Tessa resting on his chest, while you busied yourself with cleaning the mugs from earlier.

“You sure you don’t want me to help? This is my house, after all.”

“Yes, I’m sure - you need to relax, baby.” You smiled at him as you finished drying the last of the mugs, admiring the pink flush tinting his cheeks at the pet name.

“Do you have anything planned for the rest of the day, princess?” At some point, Tom managed to sneak his way over to you, his arms snaking around your waist, pulling you against his chest.

“Nope. Do you?” You quipped back, smiling when Tom chuckled, one of his hands brushing your hair off your shoulder, his lips quickly finding home on your exposed skin.

“You wanna spend some… quality time together, darling?” His words are muffled against your skin, his lips making their way to your neck.

“Depends what you have in mind, Holland.”

“Let’s find out, shall we?”

“Well?”

“You know, I’m amazed you still find ways to surprise me, Thomas.” You felt a gentle smack on the back of your thigh, a smile spreading across your face as you looked up at him.

“That was rude, darling!”

“You’re a big softie, and I love it - how is that rude?”

“That’s not what you said!” Tom groaned, kissing the bridge of your nose as you snuggled in closer, under the mountain of blankets the two of you had procured for your much-needed cuddling session.

“You know I love you, right?” You looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I definitely didn’t know that after dating for nearly three years, my good sir.”

“I swear, you’ll be the death of me,” He mutters, playfully rolling his eyes as he pulls you in even closer, your face buried in his chest.

“But you love me anyways, so…” You both giggled, Tom kissing the top of your head as his eyes fluttered shut, your steady breathing him drawing him into sleep.

“That I do, my love. Always.”

a few tags: @spideytrxsh @retroasgardian @parkerroos @stvharrington @manonblxckbexk

[sizzlingpaintercollection-t-blog]

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