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pedgito · 3 months ago

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𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 | Jesse (TLOU) x reader

summary | During a tense moment, Jesse has a devastating realization.

author's note | built around this request - this fit with an idea i already had sorta half outlined a couple weeks ago. this is unbeta'd, so if there's any mistakes just let me know!

content warning | 18+ MDNI, established friendship, loss of parents mention, tommy/joel being a father figure to reader, angst, unrequited feelings come to the surface, teasing, reader taking care of jesse in small ways, protected piv, very earnest dirty talk lmao, mentions of past relationships - can be pictured as either game or show jesse, i just adore young.

word count — 4.3k

He’s witnessed the best and worst of you.

And you, him.

The worst being when you parents died during a night attack on Jackson, a group of clickers hitting a weak point of Jackson’s bordering walls—you were lucky enough to survive because you were staying at Tommy and Maria’s that night, watching Benjamin while they used the freed up time to treat themselves to some normalcy, a date.

Jesse had held you in his arms while you cried, ordered by Tommy to stick close with you and Benjamin while he and a few other patrolmen dealt with the bodies, gave them a proper burial.

Tommy hadn’t meant to take you in so quickly, but you often drifted to his home for comfort.

Maria sensed the deep abandonment you felt, also realizing how much Benjamin clung to your presence. It helped relieve some of their worry knowing you had something to distract yourself and that they could catch up with more of the repairs around Jackson while you kept their son busy.

Eventually, you’re old enough for patrol.

Tommy starts you out with Joel, similar to his brother, he treats you with a soft, but firm guiding hand and after six months of consistent patrolling, Tommy pairs you up with Jesse.

Though, with minor hesitation.

He’s your leader for group patrols, but as you show more interest in wanting to go out in pairs, he was the safest bet—Tommy was also quick to pick up on the spark of friendship you had with him.

Shy and quiet, but there was trust.

He’d also given Jesse the talk about keeping you safe.

The sort of protect her with your life or it was his ass type deal.

Jesse isn’t surprised to see how well you handle patrol, killing infected without even a flinch, rolling with any punches thrown your way—you’ve always been strong.

He’s only surprised by how easily you’ve become the closest thing to family outside of his own, and Dina, who he seemed to have a tumultuous relationship with most of the time.

You never judged, only listened, joked with him about their unsteadiness on occasion.

Were they on? Were they off? It was always a gamble.

Based on the way his head was bowed, trudging around the snowy property without speaking a word, they were off—like…off off. Usually it lasted a couple days, sometimes a week, but he’s been this way for a month, looking increasingly more somber as time went on.

He never went into his and Dina’s fights—what they were about or who, why he often distanced himself from you when they were together despite his habit of sneaking in a few patrols with you just for the ease of it.

Everything was easy with you.

You’re always checking on him, fussing over him—Jesse doesn’t seem to mind, almost expecting it with how much he’s received from his mother or Dina, but with you, it was less about undermining him.

He felt reassured, knowing you didn’t worry about him in the same way they did, fearful of his fearless nature, carrying some of that yourself, you just wanted to keep him sharp and let him know that you had his back.

That’s why you spot it first—the fraying strap on his thigh holster, one good tug away from snapping in half.

"You’re gonna rip that thing and then whine about it the whole ride back," you break the silence, staring at him until his eyes drop to his leg, stopping in place as you’re already dropping to your knees in front of him without waiting for permission, “do you have any tape left? I know we stopped using it for marking but Joel likes to keep it in his pack and—”

Jesse chuckles low in his throat, his stomach doing a strange flip as you settle into the cold, wet snow without a care. "I’m not a whiner,”

"You are absolutely a whiner," you fire back easily, fingers working the strap loose from the buckle. Your gloves slip awkwardly against the leather, so you peel them off and toss them aside, “a goddamn cry baby, actually.”

Bare fingers are quicker, more precise.

Jesse swings his pack over his shoulder and digs through it quietly, pulling out an unpleasantly colored green role of tape and hands it to you, finding amusement in the scrunch of your nose in disgust as you spot the shade, “Gross,” you mutter, ripping it apart with your teeth as you situate the holster until it feels secure enough and tape it excessively.

“What a great thing to say while you’re down there,” Jesse jokes, shaking his head with a furrow in his brow as he slips his backpack back on, “really boosts egos, you know?”

“Who’s boosting your ego?” you ask accusatory, the slick smirk following like clockwork.

You don't even realize you’ve braced your free hand on the inside of his thigh for balance, fingertips pressing lightly into the warm, solid muscle there, even through the fabric of his cargo pants, peering up at him in question, “S’not me.”

Jesse does realize, though.

It was a strange feeling, fleeting, a glimpse of you he’s never seen before.

Every muscle in his body goes tight, locked up like you’ve got a knife to him instead of the gentleness of your touch. He’s breathing slow and shallow, willing himself to stay still as you lean in, tilt your head as you secure the holster in place properly, nearly eye level with his groin and focused entirely on fixing him.

Like you always do.

For a moment, he forces himself to look away, hands settled into his jacket pockets as he squints under the bright winter sky, praying the snow would blind him for a brief moment.

When his eyes do finally flick down, he catches the way your brows draw together in concentration, the way your mouth tugs into a little frown, your teeth biting into your bottom lip.

And for a moment, so briefly Jesse thinks he’s gone insane, he imagines you making that face for him in a specific way that he blames on the frustration that has built within him the past few weeks and immediately hates himself for it.

"Almost done," you say softly, tugging at the wrinkled fabric of his pants until the holster is fit properly again, glancing up curiously.

That's when it hits him like a pile of fucking bricks.

You're looking up at him from between his knees, face soft despite the harsh breeze of snow, hands finding purchase with confidence on his body, almost surgical. Calculated.

There's nothing flirty about it. Nothing intentional. Nothing sexual.

Yet still, he can’t breathe.

You make a small noise of satisfaction, a squeak that Jesse wouldn’t have heard had he not been so tuned in to your every move, smiling as you stand, additionally fixing his beanie on his head for good measure and only a small attempt to tease him.

You slap his chest lightly as he stares, attempting to break him out of his strange stupor and it takes everything in Jesse to not grab your hand, curl his fist around your wrist, and drag you back into the building where your other supplies lay dormant in wait for the night to come.

Instead, he stays frozen. You're already shifting to stand, brushing snow from your knees, acting as if nothing was wrong—because for you, there wasn’t. But, you notice Jesse’s silent gaze as he follows your movement and you pause, waving a playful hand in front of his face.

"You good?" you ask, cocking your head at him.

"Yeah," Jesse says after a moment of hesitation, almost as if he had to force it out. He clears his throat, forces his eyes away from your mouth as you notice his gaze linger there. "Yeah. Thank you.”

Weird, you think.

But, Jesse had a strange sense of humor on occasion, assuming this was just a ploy to fuck with you, unsettle you a bit.

Though, something lingers as you step away, feeling his gaze return as you turn your back.

It seemed better to be left unspoken.

–

The fire crackles as you feed it a few more broken twigs, coaxing the flames higher to battle the cold. You shiver, pushing aside your dirty plates from dinner, pulling your sleeves over your hands as you sit back on your heels and cross your legs, sitting snug beside him against the wall.

And Jesse’s quiet.

He’s been quiet.

Strained quiet, not cautious like there was an impending sense of danger looming.

It was the kind of quiet that screamed avoidance.

"Careful, stare too long and you’re gonna scare the fire out," you tease him, nudging his foot with your boot, his hands curling into fists against his knees at the totally and completely normal gesture on your end.

Jesse snorts— but it isn’t him, a little too forced. "I’m just thinking…bored, you know?"

This was ridiculous—and unfortunately for Jesse, you had always been a straight shooter.

Plainly, you confront him, turning slightly in place to face him, "You’ve been acting weird ever since I fixed your thigh holster. Did I make you uncomfortable? Because, if you’re ever bothered by it, you can tell me—"

Jesse glances at you once, then down, and guiltily back up at you.

He doesn’t even have a response. He’s locked up, cornered.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Jesse offers eventually.

“Well, something is—you’re never this quiet with me,” you point out, resisting the urge to nudge him with a finger, scared he might scurry away.

“It’s really fuckin’ stupid, actually,” Jesse decides, forcing out an awkward, quiet laugh.

“Hey, tell me,” you urge him gently, your eyes widening with earnestness and Jesse hates that look—it is impossible to counter, seeing the creeping sense of emotion in your eyes.

Jesse avoids your gaze and shifts where he sits, propping his elbows on his knees, intertwining his fingers as he stared into the fire like it might spare him from answering and cause him to burst into flames.

"It wasn't anything you did," he says after a minute, voice low. "You were just—"

He cuts himself off, huffing out a breath of disbelief that he was having to admit this to you.

You lean in a little closer without thinking, hand curling around his forearm thoughtlessly, chasing after the words he won't give you.

"Jesse, just spit it out," you prod, a laugh mixed in with your sincerity.

Jesse lets out a slow, rough exhale, the kind that sounds like it's been sitting in his chest all day.

"You were just lookin' at me," he says finally, looking at you with a sudden weariness you’ve never seen with him, "Touchin' me. And I—"

Oh.

But, Jesse would be lying if he said this was just a lapse of judgment.

There had been hints for a while, sprinkled throughout your friendship.

Both of you cared a little more than just friends, but left the heaviness of that unspoken.

“I touch you a lot,” you joke lightly, hoping to ease his worry and maybe even convince yourself of something you weren’t sure you were ready to face; deep down, there was always that flutter in your stomach when Jesse smiled at you, but you often brushed it off.

He was your best friend—it was natural.

“Someone’s gotta take care of your shit,” you continue, pointing at the tattered strap of his backpack, “this shit is a damn hazard.”

He almost laughs.

But Jesse’s still tense, jaw working like he's fighting a war inside his mind.

You see the exact moment he gives up trying to hide it too—when he turns to look at you fully, really looks at you, and there’s nothing friendly about it.

You reach for him instinctively, your hand scratching over his cheek with blunt nails, gentle as you feel him lean into the caress, “Jesse,” you say quietly, his name loaded with emotion.

Respect, trust, fear, admiration.

“Tommy would fuckin’ kill me,” Jesse jokes, “Shit, Joel, too.”

“I’m not their kid,” you counter, “I’m not a kid. S’that what you’re worried about? Them?”

“I’m not really worried about them,” he says quietly, his voice tight, but it’s a half-truth.

Tommy did scare him on occasion, knowing how protective he had grown over you, “I’m worried about this,” He pauses, swallowing hard. "We’re friends, I like that. I’d die without it, I think."

He pauses for a moment, then suddenly, it flows out.

“I saw you, looking up at me,” Jesse shakes his head, “on your knees—”

You snicker softly, “O-kay,” you’re beginning to understand now.

You’re not sure why, but you move.

Not to him, rather in front of him, stripped of your jacket and the front of your top droops slightly as you shift to your knees and offers a full view of your chest, hands curling around his boots.

“What are you thinking now?” you ask curiously, hands curling over his knees as you move in closer, his legs spreading to accommodate you as you scoot forward on your knees.

“This isn’t funny,” Jesse retorts, sinking as far back into the wall as physically possible before you’re settled back on your legs, spread out underneath his, his feet planted as you rest your hands against his knees.

“I’m not laughing, am I?” you challenge him, “Seriously, what are you thinking right now?

“I can’t even,” Jesse shakes his head in disbelief, “I don’t know—”

“I’m trying to test temporary insanity as an option,” you offer, though it was mostly a joke—you were just fishing, curious of how often he thought about you in such a way, “it could have just been a lapse in judgement, so let me hear it,” you lean into his space, tilting your head to meet his as he turns away, “what are you thinking about?”

There’s a subtle glance at your face that leads to your chest and Jesse, if you would let him, would have you spread out over his lap without a moment of hesitation—but there is hesitation.

“Jesse,” you tease, singsong in the way you say his name.

And then he moves.

It’s fast—so fast that you barely register it until his hand is gripping your wrists and pulling you toward him. The movement is fierce, raw, acting purely on feeling, without thinking.

His grip on your wrist is firm, possessive, as he leans in close, pulling you to him as you settle in his lap without needing to be directed, his lips so close that you can feel them even before they touch you, breathing hot against your mouth.

The moment he gives in, it isn’t gentle or kind. It’s a collision of everything that’s been building between you two, all the unspoken emotions, the buried desires that neither of you have acknowledged until now, laying dormant.

His kiss is hungry, demanding, and when you try to pull back, his other hand comes up to cup the back of your head, keeping you there, gasping softly into his mouth. Your entire world spins at a dizzying speed as you exhale a breathless laugh of disbelief into the kiss.

When you finally pull away, it’s only enough to catch your breath, face close enough for your nose to bump against his cheek, the closeness almost sending you reeling again.

He’s still holding your wrists, this time with one hand as the other squeezed tenderly at the back of your head, yearning to pull you in close again, like he’s scared you’ll vanish if he lets go.

He’s ready to mutter an apology or excuse, but you don’t let him.

You move quickly, shifting slightly as you lean back, tugging at his wrists, guiding his hands down your chest and over your stomach, under the fabric of your shirt until his hands make contact with bare skin.

Jesse swears he’s going to die from the simplicity of it all—again, how easy things felt with you—the soft skin there, the way you settle back into his legs, the curve of your ass grazing his lap, aware of how hard his cock was against you.

You smirk at the way his gaze heats with his explorative touches, it was clear that he only needed the push and reassurance, his lips parting to release a long sigh.

“Say it,” you urge him, knowing exactly what he looked like when he was keeping something to himself, itching to speak his mind.

Jesse groans, a low, needy sound that makes your stomach flip, “Shit,” he says, “you’re gonna tease me for sayin’ it, I just know—”

“No, no,” you assure him, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to his lips that quickly heats, shoving his beanie aside as you toss it to the floor, running your fingers into his hair, “I won’t.”

“I’m thinkin’,” He begins, chasing your lips as you pull away, “about how bad I want to fuck you right now—jus’ right here, it might fuckin’ kill me.”

You grin, satisfied with his answer and the hoarse, raw way he delivers it, “Then maybe you should,” you breathe, “ya know, fuck me.”

Jesse pulls you in further, his hands sliding over your hips and up the center of your back, between your shoulder blades as he lifts your top over your head, giggling at how quickly his face presses between your breasts, mouthing gently at the swell of skin, so soft and supple.

Within his distraction, you reach for your bag, unzipping the small pocket in the front to reach for the small roll of foil squares you kept squared away—it was a long story, actually.

Jesse doesn’t let it slide either, hearing the sound and pausing immediately as he looks over his shoulder. His face a mix of amusement and disbelief.

“Oh, don’t fucking look at me like that,” you go on the defense immediately with a playful smile, “I know you have some in your bag, too.”

Jesse knew briefly of a small stint you had with one of the men who filtered through patrol and watchtower patrol through the seasons, having found you in an awkward situation or two that didn’t give away much, always finding you after.

Either way, you were both guilty.

Jesse opens his mouth to speak, but you slap your hand to muffle any noise.

“Stop talking,” you order as he peels your bra off without trouble, swatting your hand away as his mouth latches immediately to your chest, tongue slick against your nipple, “and oh—fuck me—”

He can’t tell whether it was a demand or a pleading moment of desperation, it didn't really matter.

You’re already pulling at his coat, fumbling with the zipper as he drags you closer into his lap, his mouth never lulling in the attention he’s giving you, his teeth dragging over the tender skin of your chest as he lets out a desperate groan when your hips rub impatiently down against him.

It’s urgent, now, how he moves, almost frantic as he paws at the button of his jeans, the rasp of his zipper loud above the sound of your sharp breaths and the crackle of fire—you work in tandem, standing to slip your jeans and underwear down your hip, both of you too caught up to let the moment breathe as you settle back over him, stripped naked and vulnerable despite his state of dress, but you’ve never felt more secure.

You watch with a quiet smile as he fumbles to rip the packet open with shaky, adrenaline fueled hands, slipping the latex over his hardened cock, gripping himself at the base as you rise higher on your knees and extend your palm out in front of your mouth and spit into it with a lingering eye contact that could undo Jesse on the spot, bringing your hand to your cunt to smear the saliva between your folds, aching for the stretch of him, underestimating the stretch until the head of his cock is pressed against you, both of you releasing a slow breath as his hand searches for your hip, squeezing gently as you sink down onto his length.

You still suddenly, adjusting to the way he fills you.

It’s overwhelming how quickly the two of you had gotten here.

Jesse grips your hips tightly, distracting your fleeting thoughts, lifting you off of him with a strong grip before dragging you back down with a low moan of his own when your nails dig into his shoulders through his shirt.

He holds you with a sudden possessiveness that leaves you crying out softly against his cheek, rocking his hips up to meet your rhythm as you bounce over him, his eyes barely leaving your face as he watches you fall apart on his cock, eyes wide and wondrous as earlier that day, the subtle twitches to your face when he brushes a spot so sensitive inside of you, gasping sharply.

The pace is desperate, both of you burning hot with the urgency of a handful of years building up like a house that finally caught fire, crumbling down to nothing but this moment, and the slide of him inside you is so slick, his body molding against your own, hands fitting perfectly against your body as he moans softly into the shared space between you, head lulling back against the wall as you follow, yearning for closeness.

"Jesus," he breathes, almost awed, the warmth of you wrapped around him, the tightness, the way you're taking the reins when he finds himself distracted, your hips dragging in slow, languid rolls over him. "jesus fuckin' christ, baby,"

The drag of his cock inside you is intense and fulfilling, your hands planted firmly against his chest, twitching into the fabric of his shirt to brace yourself as you ride him, his wandering and squeezing grasps to pull you impossibly closer indicative of how close he was.

“You like me fussing over you” you tell him breathlessly, fingers twisting into his hair to tilt it back, his eyes landing on you through a heavy, heated gaze as he huffs a laugh through his nose, “don’t you?”

He nods without a moment of hesitation.

“I take such good care of you, huh?”

You aren’t expecting the words to set him off, but they do.

You squeal at the quickness with which he moves, snatching your backpack with quick thinking as he lays you out on the cold ground, your gasp melting into a loud as he quickly, smoothly situations himself between your legs again and pushes inside of you, his hand curling around the back of your neck to tilt your chin up, jeans hanging low around his legs as he settles on his knees to create a mind-numbing angle as he thrusts into you.

“I feel it,” he whispers cockily, your cunt squeezing around him at his words, “you feel it?”

You nod dumbly as he continues to speak, “She loves me,” he tells you, “god—she’s squeezing me so tight,”

There’s something about it that breaks the line of reality, feeling as if this was all some dream, that there was no way Jesse knew your body this well, like it hadn’t been craving him from the start.

“Show me how you touch yourself,” Jesse orders, though it was more pleading, ultimately followed by the simple word, “please—fuck, please—”

He’s locked on the quick work of your hands, legs spread around and locked behind his back, his cock sinking inside of your greedy cunt with needy thrusts, chasing a high that he didn’t want to end.

When it did, it was slow.

You come apart with a cry, his mouth hot against your neck as he groaned into you, your cunt squeezing him like a vice as your body worked through the aching pulses of pleasure and it was few more long, sharp thrusts before he followed, fingers digging harshly into the skin of your thigh as he slowed himself to a gentle rock of his hips as he spilled into the condom.

When the high settles, you can’t help but laugh, feeling his head slump against your chest as he echoes your elation, “I think we fucked through your patrol slot,” he says through a heavy sigh, pulling out of you with a slight wince.

You grab at his wrist, glancing at his watch.

Sure enough.

“Oh no, we’re going to be devoured by clickers,” you say jokingly, a grin spreading across your face, pausing for a moment to shrug, “worth it.”

Jesse helps you redress with an unspoken protectiveness when you’ve both let the moment settle and pass, painfully reminiscent of the way you’ve cared for him before under entirely different circumstances, realizing how easily it was for your mind to wander like Jesse’s had.

“Tommy’s so gonna know,” Jesse speaks after a while, “Dude’s a fuckin’ knower.”

“No,” you snort softly, “you’re just a terrible liar. Just keep shit simple.”

“Dina was right,” he says quietly, reaching for the rifle leaning against the wall to take watch for his turn, “We were both never fully invested with what we had, she never really said why, but—”

“It isn’t something we have to dive into right now, Jesse,” you assure him, “or, ever.”

You bend down to grab Jesse’s beanie before handing it over.

“We’re still friends, that doesn’t have to change,”

Unfortunately, for Jesse, he knew that wasn’t possible.

He’d been missing something for a while, he just hadn’t realized it was something that had been with him the entire time.

You.

#the last of us #tlou #jesse tlou #young mazino #jesse tlou x reader #jesse tlou x you #jesse tlou fic #jesse tlou smut #tlou fic #the last of us fic #my writing

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silens-oro · 4 months ago

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Pretty Damn Close

Not all fics have adult content, but this blog is 18+. Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x f!Reader Domestic fluff/Established Relationship

The Pitt Playlist located here

Synopsis: Mike gets a reminder that he very desperately needed. Word Count: 1,404 Content Warning: None; Reader is in her 30's A/N: I binged The Pitt over a weekend and was immediately enraptured by this man. I haven't posted a fic in a while, so please be kind. Who wants to scream into the void with me about this show?????

Days off were a rarity for both you and Mike, and when they overlapped you feared pigs would start flying across the skies of Pittsburgh. Sleeping in was an even greater luxury, one you were taking full advantage of in the comfort of Mike’s plush be d.

Mike’s arm tightened around your waist as he pulled your back closer to his chest, letting you know that he was starting to wake up. He inhaled deeply, then sighed a release before kissing your shoulder tenderly.

“Morning,” He mumbled against your skin, his beard tickling you as he trailed kisses up to your neck.

“Afternoon,” You chuckled, knowing you both had slept well past one in the afternoon. Mike had gotten home around eight and you both stayed up until the late hours of the night watching the Penguins game at Anaheim and getting frisky on the couch like a couple of horny teenagers. Needless to say, you were both feeling the late night.

“Ah, shit,” Mike groaned, turning onto his back he kept his arm under you so he could tug you to his chest while rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

“Thought you were gonna sleep the day away, Sleeping Beauty.” Mike pinched your side playfully in response to your teasing. “Be nice.” You reprimanded softly while tugging a small section of his beard.

“I am nice,” he grabbed your hand, placing the gentlest kisses to your palm. “Speaking of nice, would it be not nice of me to say we should stay in bed today?”

Jack and Leanne were hosting a barbecue later that afternoon and as much as you also wanted to flake due to your poor choices the night before, you also wanted to not be that friend. Leanne was hosting a get-together for some of the people in her yoga group and invited you and Mike to join in. It wasn't anything crazy, she had said, just some barbecue and drinks while everyone mingled.

“As much as I would love to stay home and have my way with you, it would be a very not nice thing to do, Mike.”

“You can��t tell me you’re not tempted.” He wiggled his eyebrows to butter you up. “We could stay in, order takeout, watch a movie?”

“As tempted as I am to take your offer, any excuse to show off my hot doctor boyfriend to strangers is enough for me to get out of bed.” Mike barked out a laugh he couldn’t contain.

“Hot doctor boyfriend?” He repeated, beside himself.

“Yes, my hot doctor boyfriend. I don’t know if you know this, but I hit the jackpot with you.”

“Did you now?” The playful glint in his eyes let you know he’d play along for now.

“Highly educated, incredibly handsome, thoughtful, compassionate,” You listed off, “A genuinely a good person-”

“-Oh god-” He cut you off, visibly squirming beneath you. He started to shimmy his way to the side of the bed, but you quickly caught him -laughing- while you pulled him back to the spot he previously occupied.

“No! Where are you going?“ Your words were broken by giggles coming from both of you. "Come back!" In a quick motion, you straddled his hips, pinning Mike to the bed.

Your hands cupped his bearded cheeks to keep his gaze on you. “I know it gives you the heebie-jeebies when you have to listen to someone praise the good qualities you have, Mike, but it’s good to hear them once in a while otherwise you lose perspective of yourself to whatever your brain is telling you.”

“I have plenty of some not so great qualities you seem to be sweeping under the rug,” He mumbled once the laughter died down. His fingers twiddled with the hem of the t-shirt you slipped on in the middle of the night -the frayed edges keeping his attention.

“Like what? You don’t rinse your dishes when you put them in the sink? You leave the same cup on the same corner of the coffee table every single day? That you’re moody sometimes? I think that comes with the whole Emergency Room Attending Physician thing you have going on -just an observation.” Holding your hands up in mock surrender, Mike leveled you with a look.

“I am also nearly twenty years your senior,” This was a point he brought up out of self-consciousness. You knew it ate at him, even though you didn't see the problem. It took quite a bit of convincing on your part when you began seeing each other that it wasn’t as weird as his brain was making it out to be. A man -who was 48 when you met- dating a then 33 year old was hardly considered robbing the cradle.

“Which makes you even hotter,” You shut him down, not giving him a second to dwell on it any longer than he obviously already had. “Quite frankly, had you been any younger, I wouldn’t have even glanced your way." Mike snorted. "You’re just making my case for me.” He rolled his eyes.

“We’re not going to get into the psychology of that,” He chuckled.

“Because you are not a psychologist." You poked Mike on the tip of his nose. "Just because I’m in a happy relationship with an older man does not mean I have daddy issues. I happen to love my father very much, and he also happens to like you.”

“Because we're so close in age,” His quick response had your jaw on the floor. Mike’s bright grin let you know that he had succeeded in making you squirm just as you made him. Tit for tat, if you will.

“You think you’re clever, Dr. Robinavitch?”

“I have my moments,” You hummed at his response, his grin still beaming up at you. His hands had moved from playing with the ends of your shirt to gently rubbing your hips down to your exposed thighs.

“Which is exactly why we’re having this conversation. We’re well past due for it, actually.” You could tell the direction of this conversation was killing him, but he needed to hear these things. He gets so stuck in his head sometimes that he begins to spiral, taking your relationship with it -unintentionally. You knew he needed to hear every word that left your mouth, and understand it for the truth that it was.

Mike wasn’t perfect, but he was pretty damn close.

On the flip side, Mike spent so long thinking he’d never get to have a person that loved him as much as he loved them who didn’t care about his crazy hours, being called in to work on the few days off he had, missing plans or holidays, not seeing each other with the exception of a few hours at night when he came home dead on his feet.

His career -and personal lack of balancing his work and personal life- was usually the relationship killer in his experience. Other factors surely came into play, but at the end of the day most women wanted the doctor, but nothing else that came with it and Mike didn’t blame them.

Then you came along -introduced to Mike through Jack and his wife Leanne- and it felt effortless from the second his hand met yours when you shook it. He didn’t want to believe it then, but laying in his bed with you now made him realize that you were the last piece to the puzzle. The shape that had been missing.

It was hard to date later in life, as Mike found out through reality check after reality check. Most people wanted to get married, have kids -to build a life. He was pushing 50, running himself ragged at the hospital, and the idea of a baby this late in life sounded like an actual nightmare. While you were in your 30s -still young enough to pursue those things- you didn’t want kids; however, you loved Jake as if he was yours, just as Mike did. Neither of you had any blood relation to the teen, but that didn’t stop you from loving the kid fiercely. He had that effect on just about anyone he met.

That was enough for Mike. As long as he had you, he was more than happy because you fit in a space he didn’t think anyone else would or want to.

Gratitude was something Mike thought about a lot more these days. He felt it when he woke up next to you nearly every morning when you started staying overnight at his place more and more often, and as you leaned down to tenderly kiss his lips, he thanked whoever was listening that you had fallen into his life when you did.

“Now get up,” You kissed Mike once more, knocking him out of his thoughts. “Jack will have your ass if you bail. You know he hates having people he doesn’t know over. God knows Leanne is trying to put the poor man in an early grave with the socialization. He needs someone he knows there.” Mike let his hands fall to the bed as you crawled off of him and scampered over to the en-suite bathroom with a fond smile.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be sure to throw the life preserver out for him.” He ran a hand through his hair, letting his head rest back on his pillow for a few moments more before you popped your head out of the bathroom. "I owe him that much, at least."

“As a good friend should. Another good quality to add to the list for our next talk.”

“Enough!” The bathroom door closed milliseconds before a pillow had hit it, but Mike could still hear your giggling from inside.

#the pitt #the pitt imagine #dr robby x reader #michael robinavitch #Dr Robby imagine #Michael Robinavitch x reader #the pitt fanfiction #dr robby

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jeonginslefthand · 7 months ago

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More please ♡🩸

Pairing: Vampire!BangChan x Reader Genre: Suggestive (18+. minors/ageless blogs do not interact <3)/Thriller Word count: 2.0k+ Summary: You caught Chan in the middle of his midnight activities, marking the start of an unexpected relationship. Warnings: Kidnapping mentioned, force feeding, grinding, biting, blood (lots of it), implications of depression A/N: Railway MV has made me feral and I had an idea. Also hope writing this will cure my writer's block for the San series cause I'm struggling rn. This is more of a drabble and [mostly] proofread. Hope y'all enjoy 🫶 Stray kids masterlist

~~~

“I need more~”

It hurts when Chan bites into your neck. You expected some pain, but not a pain like this. It stings and there’s an ache you can’t begin to describe. But it feels somewhat arousing. Chan on top breathing heavily as he is sucking the life out of you makes you feel something in your core. You forget for a moment that his teeth are sunk in your veins as the agonizing pain turns into pleasure.

It’s hard to say how you got here in the first place. You and Chan had been acquainted since he moved to your neighborhood a few years ago. Nothing he did ever tipped you off that he could be hiding this secret. And Chan had been careful to keep this secret too. Surviving off animal blood, only feasting on human flesh when he needs to. He was sure he would never get caught. Until last night when you decided to take the shortcut path on your nightly walk and stumbled upon the area where Chan does his bidding. You were frozen in fear unsure what to do as Chan looked at you. So he did what any vampire in hiding would. He took you back to his hideout away from the world until he could figure out his next move.

And here you are, under him as he’s making up for his interrupted midnight snack. By now he feels he sufficiently made up for the interruption and slowly removes his teeth from your neck. You feel that stinging pain again and feel a bit faintish. You see out the corner of your eye blood dripping from the two fresh holes. Gross yet arousing at the same time. Chan notices and licks up the excess blood as if he wants to savor your taste. You feel another jolt of pain, but Chan massaging the area with his tongue helps to ease the pain and turns it into more pleasure.

“Your blood tastes so sweet~” Chan growls as he licks the remaining blood and pulls away from you. “I swear I could drink this forever.”

It sure felt like he was going on forever. You even forgot that he did kidnap you and that the bodies of his previous victims surrounded you. Coming back to reality the fear returns to you wondering if that is your fate.

“C-Chan… I promise I won’t tell anyone about this. A-and you can have all the blood you want just please let me go.” You mutter out on the verge of tears.

“Oh I will have all the blood I want, 'cause you’re not leaving here,” Chan responds smiling, baring his sharp teeth now covered in blood. You flinch for a moment thinking he’s going back in for seconds. Chan notices and chuckles in response.

“Don’t worry dear, I won’t hurt you more than I need to. It would be a shame if you died on me.”

~~~

Despite the situation, Chan is pretty gentle with you. Aside from the blood-sucking sessions, he makes sure you’re well taken care of. You find out that the place you’ve been taken to was a castle, somewhere far off in the mountains. You slowly fall in love with the gothic architecture exploring a new room each day. You even have your room, decorated head to toe in the dark gothic aesthetic with a soft queen-sized bed made just for you.

Chan cooks for you every night. At first, you refused to eat the meals, still in fear of what he could do and barely working up an appetite. After a few days of the act, Chan got annoyed and one day took matters into his own hands.

“Come on sweetie, if you don’t eat your blood won’t pump properly and you’ll be weak.” Chan calmly says as he forces a piece of chicken into your mouth. You try your hardest to resist but his vampire strength overpowers you. Tears well up in your eyes and fall on your plate. You want to spit the chicken out but you can’t bring yourself to it as Chan stares at you intensely, wiping the tears away from your cheek.

“Aww don’t cry. It’s okay, you’re okay. The chicken tastes good right?” Chan coos and you nod in response.

“Good. Then swallow~” Chan commands.

You hesitate for a moment but reluctantly swallow. The chicken wasn’t bad, but you still feel a lump in your throat. You want your body to reject the food so badly but you also hadn’t eaten for days and knew that eventually you would have to give in.

Chan feeds you the rest of the chicken and side dishes. This was the only way you were going to eat for that night, still in fear that he could do much worse. After that day you stopped refusing to eat knowing that Chan wouldn’t hesitate to force-feed you again. You two started having somewhat normal dinners. Chan would talk about his day and sometimes the drama going on at his day job and you would talk about the room you explored that day and your thoughts. Sometimes he would talk about his past life, his experiences, and what it was like being the way he is. These deeper talks made you more intrigued about him. He was slowly peeling back layers revealing his true nature, showing there was some humanity left in those eyes.

~~~

Of course, Chan would still get a taste of your blood now and then. Biting in the same spot, careful not to take too much that you faint, but enough to keep him satisfied for a few weeks. You got used to the pain and a part of you almost looked forward to these sessions. The pure ecstasy you felt with Chan on top and pressed against you as you were helpless under him, you almost didn’t want him to stop. You wanted more from him.

One time you decided to make a bold request to Chan at dinner.

“I want you to suck my blood tonight,” you stated clearly. Chan nearly chokes on his food shocked that you’re taking the initiative this time.

“Y/N, I appreciate the offer and you know I would love that. But I’m fine it’s only been a week.” Chan responds.

“But I want you to! I need that feeling of you sinking your teeth into me. It’s addicting and I want more of it!”

Chan gets up and walks over to your seat and leans towards you.

“I have a better idea sweetie~,” Chan says.

“And what is that?” you respond, desperate for him to do something. Anything.

Chan leans in closer and presses his lips into yours. You don’t hesitate to reciprocate kissing him back. The same feeling of desire is felt between both of you, but more intense than when Chan is stealing your blood. Eventually, you stand up and push him on the table (well, more like he lets you) kissing him deeper and with a passion you’ve never felt. The air feels warm around you, savoring Chan’s taste while your mind’s on cloud 9. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t fantasized about this. Wondering what his lips would feel like in other areas of your body besides the sensitive vein of your neck.

The burning desire in your core doesn’t settle down and you instinctively grind on Chan’s thigh to get some kind of relief. Chan doesn’t notice drunk on his desire for you, but eventually, he pulls away and places his hands on your hips.

“Feeling a bit needy today I see~” Chan teases.

“Oh you have no idea,” you say shakily, catching your breath.

Chan starts to respond with a witty joke but you sink back into his lips before he responds. You kiss him harder than the first time and the desire builds up in your core harder. The room feels it’s on fire as you and Chan feel each other’s hot breaths and as you continue to grind his thigh. Chan gets so lost in your soft moans that he doesn’t notice his fangs grazing your bottom lip. He presses on your lips harder and his fangs accidentally sink into your lip as you yelp in pain. Shocked by your scream, Chan quickly pulls away from you, but also accidentally knocks over a plate in the process remember that the two of you were making out on the dinner table.

“Oh my god Y/N I’m so sorry!” Chan says concerned, caressing your lip. The blood quickly drips down from your mouth covering the lower half of your face.

“Chan I’m fine! It didn’t hurt but it was shocking. Maybe… warn me next time,” you respond with a witty tone.

“Funny. But still, don’t want you to lose too much blood.” Chan leans towards your lips again and starts licking up the blood starting from your chin and ending with your bottom lip. He passionately licks every last drop like it’s the last he’ll ever get your blood.

“Say… why don’t we continue this somewhere else,” Chan suggests as he pulls away from you. You look at him hazy with lust and out of the corner of your eye notice a certain desire growing in his pants.

“I think that’s a great idea love~”

~~~

After that erotic night, it felt like time slowed down living with Chan. You’ve lost count of how long you’ve been here. Maybe a couple of months? A little under a year? In your mind, you knew you had to go back to your old life, back to your friends and family. They have probably been looking for you. But in your heart, you didn’t care. Nothing in your life mattered anymore except Chan and his twisted love for you. You would give anything to be with him, to stay with him forever.

One night as the two of you cuddled in bed, you suddenly brought up another proposition.

“Channie, do you think you can… turn me into a vampire?” you ask suddenly.

“W-what?!” Chan says, taken aback.

“I-It’s just an idea. I’ve seen it done a lot in vampire shows. But knowing what I know about you now I don’t know how accurate that is. And I realize that you’re the only one I want to be with for a long time and it would suck dying knowing you would still live on forever…”

Chan is silent processing your request. You give him some time and then follow up with your statement.

“It’s okay if you can’t and I’m probably overthinking this. That’s so far ahead of us and I’m happy spending whatever time we have. I just love you so much and—”

“No no, I can turn you. It’s possible but… are you sure you want this?” Chan says cutting you off. “It’s a dangerous path to take. The constant bloodlust is not easy to control. And there are many days that there will be a numbing feeling you can’t get rid of. Constantly feeling empty and at some point feeling like life isn’t worth it is not something I want for you.”

“I don’t care if I spend the rest of my days hating the world. As long as I’m with you I won’t feel empty. Doesn’t matter if that’s 10 years or the next 1000 years, life with you will always have meaning!”

Another moment of silence passes and Chan pulls you into his chest. He starts stroking your hair as he responds.

“There’s no talking you out of this is there?” Chan sighs.

You giggle into his chest. “I’d do anything to be with you for as long as I can!~”

Chan kisses your forehead. “Then, enjoy your last night being human love~”

You fall asleep into Chan’s arm as he drifts off to sleep. Who knew what the next years would look like for the two of you? You dream of all the potential adventures you two would go on, the lives you would live. It would be chaotic and messy, but that didn’t matter to you. In the end, you can call the man you once feared yours and you were his. And you couldn’t want anything more.

~~~

If you liked this leave a like, reblog, and/or comment! I appreciate it and thanks for reading!

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vitaminkyeom · 10 months ago

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till death do us part

noun. [ˈdɛθ] for as long as we breath.

a series on horrors of love.

CURRENTLY WRITING : Alice in Wonderland [Jeonghan x Female Reader]

COMPLETED (1/13) : Telephone [Mingyu x Female Reader]

message or send me an ask to be in the taglist!

A/N || This series will start from October and run till November end. This is my first horror series in this blog and i was wondering whether or not to write this because i'm so bad at writing horror fics so please give it lots of love! i hope you all enjoy this series.

↬ Seungcheol in ❝ Stitches And Hearts ❞

╼ PAIRING || Seungcheol x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Frankenstein! AU, Horror, Romance

╼ SUMMARY || When life snatched away your lover from you, you were completely heartbroken. But there was no way you were going to let fate decide your life so you took matters into your own hands.

Or, in which, you were driven mad by grief but sane enough to get him back.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Jeonghan in ❝ Alice In Wonderland ❞

╼ PAIRING || Jeonghan x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Horror, Romance, Angst

╼ SUMMARY || You wake up with your memories wiped out in a lonely house with a few other people, all in the same position. As you all try making your way out, you start finding out disturbing truths that maybe should have been left alone.

Or, in which, wonderland wasn't so wonderful when you realised what had exactly happened.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Joshua in ❝ H(a)unted ❞

╼ PAIRING || Joshua x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Horror, Romance, Witch AU, Neighbour!Joshua

╼ SUMMARY || Moving into the cheapest house you could get your hands on was definitely not number one on your bucket list but maybeyour hot neighbour could make up for it.

Or, in which, history repeats itself but maybe it never died in the first place

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Junhui in ❝ The Painting ❞

╼ PAIRING || Junhui x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Romance, Horror, The Picture Of Dorian Gray AU, Serial Killer AU

╼ SUMMARY || Wen Junhui was the most perfect man you could have ever fallen in love with and there was nothing more you could ever ask for him. Except, maybe wonder why he would never let you in his house.

Or, in which, maybe the man you were in love with was not as beautiful as he seemed.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Soonyoung in ❝ Spirited Away ❞

╼ PAIRING || Soonyoung x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Ghost AU, Roommate AU, Romance, Angst, Horror

╼ SUMMARY || When you moved in with Kwon Soonyoung, you were a bit skeptical about rooming with a random stranger. But that totally changed when you finally met him and began to fall in love. Except maybe he wasn't who you thought he was.

Or, in which, your feelings were temporary, just like him.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Wonwoo in ❝ Lights Out ❞

╼ PAIRING || Wonwoo x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Vampire! AU, Horror, Romance

╼ SUMMARY || All you wanted to do was loosen up a little after your exams. So what best place to relax other than a club right? Especially if there is a handsome stranger offering to buy you drinks.

Or, in which, your one night stand goes horribly, horribly wrong.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Jihoon in ❝ Deep Sleep ❞

╼ PAIRING || Jihoon x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Incubus!Jihoon, Horror, Romance

╼ SUMMARY || You knew you were a deep sleeper and that one day you would get into trouble for it but if you could wake up energetic the next day, who were you to complain? Until you started getting nightmares when you moved to your new house.

Or, in which, your nightmares were plagues by the same damn man.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Seokmin in ❝ Death Do Us Part ❞

╼ PAIRING || Seokmin x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Horror, Romance, Succubus!Reader

╼ SUMMARY || Lee Seokmin was everything you had ever wanted in a man. Unfortunately he was too far away from your reach physically. Quite literally.

Or, in which, you were going to have Seokmin to yourself, no matter what.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Mingyu in ❝ Telephone ❞

╼ PAIRING || Mingyu x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Horror, 911 Operator!Mingyu, Romance

╼ SUMMARY || Working the night shift as a 911 operator was hard as it is and the last thing Mingyu needed was those calls from his ex-girlfriend. Whom he had not seen in years. For obvious reasons of her being dead.

Or, in which, Mingyu kept getting calls from his ex girlfriend claiming that she had murdered him.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Minghao in ❝ Jekyll ❞

╼ PAIRING || Minghao x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde AU, Horror, Angst, Romance

╼ SUMMARY || You had loved your blind date because Xu Minghao had put in so much efforts in both the dates he had arranged. Until his personality did a complete 360 degree on the third date. And you had considering breaking things off with him until you found a 'help me' note in his handwriting in your handbag.

Or, in which, the man you like might be playing Jekyll and Hyde with you.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Seungkwan in ❝ Porcelain ❞

╼ PAIRING || Seungkwan x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Porcelain Doll AU, Horror, Romance

╼ SUMMARY || When Seungkwan's girlfriend goes back to her grandmother's house for a few days, he expects continuous messages from her. But instead of that, all he gets is a gift from her. A porcelain doll.

Or, in which, Seungkwan thinks you gifted him a doll from your grandmother's collection.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Vernon in ❝ Sabotaged ❞

╼ PAIRING || Vernon x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Horror, Romance

╼ SUMMARY || There was something off about your boyfriend's house. You just could feel it. Determined to find out you decide to spend the night in his house.

Or, in which, you find out secret's you were never supposed to find out and now you'll have your revenge.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Chan in ❝ Reaper ❞

╼ PAIRING || Chan x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Horror, Romance, Grim Reaper AU, Serial Killer AU

╼ SUMMARY || All Chan wanted to do was lead a simple carefree life, leaving behind his past now that he had met you. But you, you on the other hand had some other plans for him.

Or, in which, Chan thought you were the one without realising you were actually the one.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

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softlymaximoff · 11 months ago

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The Sun, Moon and Stars

18+ ONLY MEN & MINORS DNI (blank blogs will be blocked you do not have my permission to republish my work onto any platform.

— A/N: NO ONE DIES DONT WORRY, I’m sorry this took so long to get out, but here it is xx

— Summary: without your sun, the moon could only do so much until she herself was pleading for the warmth of her lover to return.

— Characters: WandaNat x Reader

— Warnings: ANGST, shutting Nat out, missing Wanda hours

— Word Count: 2.5k

Natasha wasn’t a sad person. She didn’t dwell upon the little things or throw a pity party when things didn’t go her way. She was a woman of confidence and bravery. Yet when you caught her staring at the empty picture frame in the living room, your heart shattered just a little bit more.

She didn’t do it often, nor did you point it out when she did. There would be a communal group gathering and she’d just be staring subtly at the mantelpiece holding the frame. It used to be a selfie of you three on one of your monthly picnic dates about a year ago and now the witch was no where to be found. Fury had sent her on a mission, a mission so risky that absolutely no contact was to be made.

After four months Natasha was having doubts of her beautiful girlfriend returning and it was the start of her downfall. You could see it, you could feel it. She was empty, those beautiful green eyes that you adored became dull and grey. You tried to be there for her, you really did. You snuggled with her on days she couldn’t sleep, you’d kiss her temples the way Wanda would, you even learned Wanda’s Sokovian lullabies to ease the redhead’s nightmares.

But she just pushed you further and further away. Wanda was the glue, she was the one who nurtured your insecurities and built a loving and safe space for you three to share them. Now there was nothing left. The training room became Natasha’s sanctum, the punching bags and the ring as her desired therapy. Nobody could drag her out of there, not even the wounded look on your face when she ignored your pleas to come back to bed.

It was coming into the fifth month of the mission and the Russian looked like a completely different person. Her eyes were sunken in, her cheeks hollowed out just that little more and her hair was always in a jagged plait rather than her usual neat braid. Clearly a sign of self neglect. “Tasha” your voice echoed softly throughout the training room as you sat in the ring and watched her work out. “I’m busy” she replied monotonously and hit a harder punch in the training bag. “Okay” you whispered as you just sat there.

You weren’t gonna leave her alone to her thoughts, especially not at this ungodly hour of the morning. The least you could do is be in her presence. Just being around her was enough for you. After a few minutes of staring hopelessly at her you sighed and leant back so you were lying flat on the training mats. What would Wanda say about Natasha? Would they have a big argument again? Would they be better off without your contribution to the relationship? Did they really need you or were you just an extra? Were you the reason they were stressed so much?

You didn’t realise you were actually crying until you felt a few tears run along the sides of your face tickling your cheeks. Not wanting to alert your already pent up girlfriend, you muffled a quiet sniffle in the sleeve of your hoodie, Wanda’s hoodie. With a quick glance towards Natasha, you hoped she hadn’t heard it and by the subtle lip bite she did, you knew she was aware. So you quietly got up from the training mats and cast one more look at your Natty before leaving the room with a heavy sigh ghosting your shadow.

You longed for Wanda, your other heart, your sun, your security. The three of you had a running theme that Wanda was the sun, Nat was the moon and you were the stars but lately the warmth from your sun was getting just a little more foreign with every passing day Wanda was not home. For the moon, she was just as beautiful but when she refused to guide you in the dark while her lover was absent, you felt lost and neglected. So with the well rehearsed routine of shutting out until you were hiding away in a pile of Wanda’s clothing, you kept a brave face and scampered to your shared room.

Letting your body fall into the false security of a hug you broke, body wracking with silenced sobs and suppressed hiccups. It didn’t take long for your body to physically exhaust itself as you cried your way into a restless slumber. The small ballet inspired alarm clock read 4:37am and only then did Natasha return to bed, wordlessly slipping in behind you as her own silent tears hit the back of your neck. Being the big spoon was always her thing, she could protect you even in your sleep yet at the same time be her most vulnerable self without fear of judgement. “We need you Wanda, I need you moy lyubov” she whispered into the crook of your neck and bit her lip to try and silence her pleas.

Hours passed and the two of you stayed asleep, Natasha subconsciously waking up in a panicked state every few hours but you were pretty much dead to the world. With that being said, you were surprisingly awake properly before Natasha was. The spy instinctively gripped your body in her sleep when you tried to get up to go to the bathroom so you had to think relatively quick. You weaved one of Wanda’s hoodies between your bodies and gave a sad smile when the red head let out a small whimper at the familiar smell. It honestly broke your heart to see her so broken and vulnerable. Where the hell was your Wanda.

Your feet padded along the compound floorboards as you made yourself home in the kitchen, routinely making the early riser’s coffees and sticking them in the fridge with little post it notes, something you had picked up from Wanda. God you missed her. You took your lukewarm mug and sat yourself on the small ledge of the windowsill in the lounge room, watching as the world came to life. A few deer in the open training fields complimenting the dewy morning glow on the grass. The sound of the fridge opening made your ears perk up but you refused to turn around, your demeanour too close to crumbling for it to be exposed. It was Kate, she settled herself opposite you and wordlessly joined you in observing the fields. The silence was comfortable, for once. “She’ll be back” the young archer whispered in the chill air as she grabbed your hand.

“How can you be sure, it’s been months” your voice trembled as you took in a shaky breath and squeezed her hand in an act of desperation. “She’s Wanda” Kate mumbled and pulled you in for a hug, your cries finally escaping into her comfort. You were tired, so tired and you were losing all hope. She held you until your cries gently subsided into nothing but hiccups and ragged breaths. Clint was the next one to make themselves known as he rummaged around in the fridge and sat on the sofa, clearly waiting for Kate to escape your grip to train with him. Makes sense as to why Kate was up so early, the girl could sleep for years if she wanted to.

“Sorry Katie, sorry Clint I’ll give her back” you chuckled embarrassedly swiping at your reddened cheeks as you completely pulled away from the younger avenger. “Do you want to come with us? Maybe get your mind off it all?” Clint offered empathetically and you nodded your head bashfully. Taking one last sip of your coffee before gathering up all the dishes to put them in the sink, following them out shortly after. Maybe it was a good idea. Unbeknownst to you Natasha had seen the whole thing from the end of the hallway, too angry at herself to make a sound. She should have been the one comforting you, not her teammates. If she had just put her stupid emotions aside she could be the one being strong for the two of you.

When you were well out of sight she made her way into the kitchen grabbing her breakfast and sitting criss cross at the table. She peeled the post it notes off her cold breakfast bowl gently and coffee mug, putting them in her sleep short pockets. She had kept them, all five months worth of your silly little post it notes to have some sense of Wanda with her. She was almost finished her breakfast when Yelena came into the kitchen, Kate’s old band tee hanging off her shoulder and a pair of her boxers. “Put some clothes on cytka, it’s 8am” Natasha grumbled and Yelena just flipped her off, snatching a strawberry of her sister’s bowl.

“Any news on Wanda?” She asked softly when she got comfortable opposite of Nat. “No” the redhead sighed and dropped her spoon, now just playing with her oats and fruit bowl. “She’ll be home soon sestra, I promise” the blonde moved to stand beside her sister and the older widow turned into her letting a few tears slip out. Yelena hadn’t seen Nat cry much, only one time when she accidentally tore a muscle in her already scarred left shoulder and another when she lost her arrow necklace this one time. “It’s so hard Lena, I need my Wanda” Natasha pleaded into her sisters embrace and Yelena struggled to hold back her own tears. Her sister was broken. Truly broken.

The siblings kept their small comforts until Yelena physically felt Nats heart rate slow down a little, kissing her head to mimic how their mother used to when they were little. “Pain only makes you stronger Natty, you’re the strongest person I know after Mama” Yelena mumbled and her sister just sighed deeply before pulling away from the hug, sniffling into her sleeve. “Thank you Lena, Kate’s training with Clint in the shooting range if you want to see her before your debrief meeting this morning” the older widow informed and Yelena said her thanks before scampering her way in that direction. She’d never admit it but she was whipped for the archer.

Natasha sat at the table for a while, clearing her bowl early on and the woman just sat there. She pulled her knees up and hugged them, the smell of Wanda’s hoodie reeling her into a false sense of familiarity as she buried her head in her knees. “Please come home” she whispered into the soft fabric, her pleas falling on deaf ears as the kitchen held a sorrowful silence. Something deep inside her belly decided to lead her to the communal record player and throw on a vinyl that the three of you would listen to when you were missing one. She skipped training that day and just sat by the record player all day, flipping through albums of artists that made her think of Wanda. That’s where you found her by noon. Two empty coffee cups and a half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich next to her as company.

With a soft look in your eyes, you decided to let her be, for once she wasn’t overworking herself and was showing some emotion. You weren’t about to interrupt her and make her shut off again. So you found your way into one of Tony’s smaller labs and busied yourself with some new suit mechanics, after all you could do with a new upgrade. You lost track of time pretty easily as you were drowning in new ways for functions to work stealthily into your suit that when FRIDAY alerted you with a time break you flinched. “I’m afraid Mr Stark has is now locking up this room. Your time stamp in Novo-Electrics presents at 4:38:30h. Do you wish to finish up your suit mechanics in your remaining 7 minutes or shall I save your work for next time?” The A.I politely informed you and you asked to save until next time.

You gathered up your plannings on the scrap material paper and put them back in your design folder, securing the instructions with tape on the front page so you wouldn’t forget next time. “Thank you FRIDAY, you can lock up now, can you also let Tony know that he’s got stupid rules” you rolled your eyes at the billionaire’s rules. He always made sure every room has a time limit and an hourly digital check up on your health so no one was spending their life in one room.

You stepped around the compound quietly as it was currently dinner time and you didn't necessarily want to be around people who weren't Wanda. You were almost at your room when a sneaky blonde grabbed your arm and pulled you into her own room. "Yelena wha-" "Quiet, listen to me" she whispered in a hush and you furrowed your brows as she sat you down on her bed. "Please try and talk to Natasha, she doesn't say much but her eyes say it all. Please don't give up on my sister" her russian accent sounding vulnerable and soft instead of her ususal rough and intimidating accent.

"I'm not giving up on her, not now not ever. She's all I have left, I can't lose her too" you looked down and tried to hide the way those words stung. Yelena just sighed and pulled you in for a gentle but firm hug. "She'll be back, trust me" her hope for Wanda really made you want to believe but there had been no contact for so long that hope was a foreign concept.

"Lena dinner is- oh sorry" Natasha trailed off in an awkward stutter as she saw you sitting on Yelena's bed with tear stained cheeks. "No no uh its okay, I'll just be in my room I'll eat later" you rushed out and started to escape the room but Nat's quick grip on your upper forearm made you freeze. "Have dinner with us, with me" she whispered in a strained voice and those damn green eyes clouded over ever so slightly. "Are you sure? I don't want to intrude" you looked down and fumbled your hands in your sleeves, hitching your breath when Nat tilted your chin back up.

"You've never been an intruder, not now or with Wanda here. Your still ours moya lyubov" "Yours. She's gone Nat 100%" you crumbled in her arms. Yelena slipped out of the room and into the dining room to let you have your space and you couldn't have felt more foolish. You were missing Wanda heavily as was Natasha. You needed her but the Widow needed you. "Please don't shut me out my love, I need you too please. I need you" Nat's voice broke and in that moment, so did your heart.

#sun moon stars au #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wandanat #wandanat x reader #wanda x natasha #natasha x you #wanda x you #natasha x reader #wanda x reader

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missmonsters2 · 2 years ago

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Mirror, Mirror | One

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: The thought of something more had never really crossed Wanda's mind when it came to you. Best friends for 10 years and there hasn't even been one instance of accidental sexual tension. You're her best friend, that's all—until someone points out that you obviously have a very specific type when it comes to dating.

Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.

*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*

Note: i'm back!!! Nothing like coming back and posting a mini series. Enjoy this superior trope. Updates will be on Tuesdays! As you can see, we're trying something new with explicit content lol 😬

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Count: ~4.1k

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

It's strange how sometimes a single sentence can change someone's entire life.

Wanda's thought about what sentences could change her life—usually, they're morbid and depressing.

'You have cancer.'

'Someone you love has died horrifically in an accident.'

'Your cat actually finds living with you miserable and would prefer the dangers of living in the streets.'

Never in a million years would Wanda ever think it'd be, 'Hey, have you ever noticed how your best friend exclusively only dates girls who look like you?'

And don't get Wanda wrong. It wasn't a morbid or depressing change; it was just...a change. An irrevocable change because now, Wanda couldn't stop thinking about it or noticing it.

This was all Steve's fault.

Because if someone like Stupid Steve could notice something like that, it had to mean something, right? But as Wanda remembers about the past girls you've hooked up with and brought around, she doesn't know what to make of it.

A part of Wanda wishes she had never talked to Steve that night at the bar.

"Where's Vis?" Steve asked, looking around.

"With Tony playing pool, I think," Wanda shrugged. She doesn't particularly keep track of where her on-and-off boyfriend goes. She thinks they might be on an off-period right now, anyway.

"And where's—oh, nevermind, there she is," Steve started to say but cut off when they both saw you across the bar talking with the bartender, flirting over drinks—which were probably free if Wanda could guess.

Wanda's slightly annoyed because it's been a long week without seeing you, and Wanda's been used to seeing you almost every day for the past several years of her life. But you've been gone on a work trip this week for a wedding shoot and only came home just a little after lunch and needed an immediate long nap before tonight's get-together.

That meant Wanda was sorely missing out on best-friend time, and now you were off flirting shamelessly with the hot bartender. Wanda's rooting for you, make no mistake. The bartender is definitely easy on the eyes, luscious hair, and lips—something Wanda knows you're weak for.

Plus, Wanda's worried you're not anywhere near getting close to settling down. She wants you to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship. But she supposes she's in no position to talk herself.

Wanda loves Vision without a doubt, but their relationship is definitely chaotic, and Vision keeps pushing for something more serious now that they've been dating (sporadically) for a long time. She's been considering it in her downtime and thinks it might make sense as the next step.

Best friends do everything together, right? So, maybe if Wanda decided to take the next step in a serious relationship, you'd find someone to commit to seriously as well.

Then, both of you could get married at the same time. Then, they could buy a house in the same neighborhood right next to each other. There'd be endless double dates and vacations together. Wanda wouldn't have to miss you.

But first, Wanda needed to regain lost best-friend time, one-on-one style.

"Hey, you know what I just noticed?" Steve said, breaking Wanda's drifting thoughts.

"What?"

"Bug—"

Wanda makes a face at your nickname. Granted, it was Wanda's fault you ended up with it back in your first year of university. You never let her forget it, especially now that you're a professional photographer.

"—over there has a very specific type she goes after for girls," Steve mused, sipping his whiskey before continuing. "I mean, they always have green eyes and brunette—wait, that's not true. She had two red-headed girlfriends in our last year of university. They still had green eyes, though."

"Oh," Wanda said, unsure what to say since she's never paid attention to the girls you were dating. On average, they were a brief fling, and only a few lasted longer than half a year. "I guess so?"

Wanda distantly thinks about how she dyed her hair auburn in her last year of university because she was looking for a change that year and Natasha was insistent that she'd look amazing. Wanda recalls you were a fan of the look.

"Yeah," Steve nodded along. "Ironically, they always look like you in some way. Check out that bartender now—long, wavy-haired brunette with green eyes. She's got thick, long lips and even does that dark eye-shadow makeup thingy like you."

Steve just laughed it off, finishing his drink, thinking nothing more of it before he started talking about Bucky.

But it was like something clicked into place in Wanda's brain. A daunting realization that she was wholly unprepared for and not equipped to do anything about.

Wanda watched as the bartender clocked off for the night and dragged you into a corner booth, drinks in hand. It gave Wanda the perfect view that the bartender wore many rings just like she did.

In the poor privacy of the dimly lit corner booth, there was a staunch and needy kiss from the two of you, and Wanda swallowed roughly.

From here, if you were none the wiser, Wanda could be easily mistaken for the girl in the booth with you.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Sometimes, Wanda believes she's just being absolutely ridiculous. So what if you go after girls who share the same features as her? That didn't have to mean anything. You've always told Wanda she was beautiful, and it was perfect how you said it.

It didn't feel insincere or creepy. It felt good to know her best friend thought she was absolutely gorgeous. But just because you thought she was beautiful doesn't mean you harbored secret feelings for her.

You'd be insulted if you knew Wanda had ever thought that. She'd just be another one of those girls Wanda's seen you humble on multiple occasions when they found out you dated women, and they were worried you might have a crush on them.

But then, Wanda couldn't stop thinking she actually might be one of those girls because then she'd think about if you didn't consider her like that, it wasn't about her looks but something about her personality that wasn't your type.

And what could that be?

Wanda thought long and hard, trying to remember the girls you've introduced her to.

Sometimes they were funny, and Wanda was funny. She made you laugh all the time. She specifically remembered one time in high school when she made you laugh so hard you peed your pants just a little.

Sometimes they were intellectual, and while Wanda didn't have an IQ of 160, she did fairly well academically and was on the right track in her career.

Sometimes they were charming, and Wanda was the type where she got more charming the more you got to know her.

So, Wanda just doesn't understand. She's nowhere further with her thinking ever since this weird information has been bestowed upon her.

Maybe it all just means nothing. You just didn't feel that way about Wanda despite the type of girls you dated suggesting otherwise. You didn't need a reason for it, and maybe the fact you only felt friendship for her was the reason.

"Wanna order pizza in tonight?"

Wanda turns her head from the tv and notices you've put your book down. "Hm, not really. We had pizza last week," Wanda shakes her head.

"How about that Greek place that just opened up on Willington Ave?" You suggest. "Pretty sure I heard you grumbling about wanting Greek food earlier this week."

"I was not grumbling!" Wanda scoffs but smiles when you raise your eyebrow at her. "Okay, I was grumbling a little."

You snicker as you pull out your phone to order delivery. "Oh, sweet golden best friend of mine, whatever shall you do when you get married to Vis, who hates Greek food. Do I foresee a life of Greekless cuisine? Oh, the suffering you'll go through!"

"I don't need him to like it," Wanda slaps your arm, sticking her tongue out before she cuddles you. "I have you to eat it with."

You laugh unabashedly, a sound that Wanda's accustomed to hearing the joyful sound. "Better hope the person I marry also hates Greek cuisine. I don't know if I can live a life of eating double the Greek food. I love tzatziki sauce, but if I grow to hate it from eating it too much, I will make you suffer the consequences of that."

Your voice trails off as you focus on ordering food, unable to see the cogs in Wanda's head turning.

It's all so easy. There's no tension, no electric vibes happening. Just best friends enjoying the banter and making plans to eat.

It was all in Wanda's head, right? You're her best friend, so of course you'd know everything about her.

The right type of friendship is fulfilling and soul-connecting, and that's what Wanda has with you. When you have a one-in-a-million connection like that, the line between friendship and romance is thin, isn't it?

Wanda hates Steve. She'd never think about this if it wasn't for Stupid Steve. She can hear his dumb laugh, blissfully ignorant about the observation bomb he dropped upon her.

"Do you wanna get ice cream after?" You ask, throwing your phone to the side. "I'll even treat you to the gelato despite knowing I'm going to suffer through your crazy farts later."

"Oh my god, I'm going to trap you under the blanket with it just for that!"

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Within two months, Wanda forgets about it. Forgets, as in that she decides to drop it (let it linger in the deep depths of her brain that she refuses to acknowledge), and resolves that Steve has no brain cells and has no idea what he's saying.

"Have you seen my strapless black top?" Wanda shouts from her room with the door open. "The one with the v-shaped front!"

"In your closet!" You yelled back from the living room, not taking your eyes off your phone.

"I can't find it," Wanda whines, and she hears you sigh as you get up. The footsteps approach her room, and she finds you standing at the door with an unimpressed look.

"I don't want to hear it," Wanda sniffs.

"Hear what, brat?" You say with a brow raised before you start rummaging through her closet. The nickname was a joke you started that Wanda was entirely a spoiled person, exhibiting bratty behavior at times. "That I'm not gonna be your roommate forever, so you need to learn to fold it yourself before putting it away?"

Wanda makes grumbling noises that are mostly nonsensical but smiles when you pull out the top she was looking for.

"You are the apple of my eye, stinky," Wanda grabs the top from you before she runs into her washroom to briefly change into it.

"A match made in heaven, yeah, yeah," you roll your eyes with good humor. "Hurry up, Natasha will kill us if we're late for Yelena's birthday. They're on an upwards mend in their relationship, so she's been so unbearably uptight lately to make sure nothing goes wrong."

"I know, I know," Wanda mutters, carefully pulling the top over her head to not ruin her makeup.

"Alright, I'll hail us a cab, meet me outside."

"Wait, wait!" Wanda calls out. "I need help putting on my necklace."

You chuckle, walking back just as Wanda steps out of the bathroom with the delicate necklace she wants to wear.

"Alright, alright, relax," you tell her. "Your accent gets really strong when you're stressed."

"You're stressing me out by rushing me," Wanda scrunches her nose even though you can't see it. "I'm also stressed knowing that you have to rush me, or I'll spend the party getting lectured by Natasha."

Wanda's voice comes out husked with the accent, something she's struggled between hating or loving, but mostly loving since you've expressed how lovely it is.

You grab the necklace from her hand, and Wanda moves her hair out of the way. The routine of it all starts to bleed the tension out of her shoulders.

Then, that horrible Stupid Steve Sentence kicks into her brain.

It's only as you put your arms over, placing the necklace against Wanda's chest, and focusing on trying to get the clasp in. Wanda can feel your warm breath against her neck, summoning goosebumps along her arms. You're so close, and she can feel the heat of your body radiating onto her, your fingers just barely brushing against her.

The tension comes suddenly, squeezing inside her chest as her breathing slows and shakes. Her body warms in an unexpected way.

"Ah, got it," you say, but Wanda can only focus on your voice and breath on the shell of her ear. "Cute necklace but the clasp is so annoying."

You pull away and start walking off. "C'mon, I bet if we tip our taxi driver an extra $20 bucks, they'll speed and we can pray we're on time."

Wanda's left standing there, knowing she probably sounds like she's fresh out of Sokovia with how stressed she is. Her right eye twitches.

Was that...Wanda gulps. Was that sexual tension?

And was she the only one who felt it?

Fuck.

She's going to kill Steve.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Natasha's absolutely neurotic when they arrive. It's just a simple backyard party, but it almost looks like a wedding venue with all the catering and flowers.

Wanda's pretty sure Natasha's only being like this because she's overthinking about whether to cling to Yelena or give her sister some space to mingle with others. She seems to be sizing up Kate, who Yelena might be seeing, but it hasn't been confirmed.

Yelena looks between exasperated with Natasha and secretly happy about the entire thing. Wanda can sympathize with her. After all, she's also a little sister, and Pietro can also be way too overprotective. Sometimes she's glad he's abroad in Europe for work while she remains in New York, but she misses him more often than she admits.

"Alright, alright, Natasha," you groan, and Wanda's mind slips back into the conversation. "We're 3 minutes late, relax, will you? Damn, are you always gonna be like this until you and Yelena get back into whatever sibling bond you had before? Hope you're just like this with us because otherwise, you're gonna scare away all her friends, and she's going to hate you."

"Oh my god, do you think she'll really hate me?" Natasha bites her bottom lip in worry while looking around at all the people that they can only assume she's nagged about being late or whatever mishap.

"Oh, man," you sigh, putting your hand on her shoulders before pushing her towards the bar. "You need some drinks and maybe some desserts in you."

Wanda's about to follow you when you turn around and nod your head in a different direction. She looks over and sees you're nodding toward Vision.

"You should go say hi to him," you tell her. "You've been complaining about not seeing him all last week, even though I don't know why you guys won't just FaceTime, but I digress. Come find me later, or I'll find you after."

You look over at Natasha, who's peering on her tippy toes to see if she can find Yelena.

"And, hopefully, I'll have ditched this nutjob," you whisper conspiratorially and laugh when Natasha turns around to smack your arm.

"I heard that!"

Wanda chuckles as you walk off with Natasha while she turns and heads toward Vision. Despite how she was complaining about not seeing Vision last week because she did miss him, her expression was sour as she made her way toward him.

Vision spots her immediately and waves at her with a warm smile. Wanda feels herself somewhat loosened at his expression. They'd also been friends a long time before they started on-and-off dating, so at the very least, she does miss his easy friendship.

"Hey," Vision hugs her, slightly rubbing her back before he pulls away but keeps his arm around her. "It's been a while; you look lovely."

"Thanks," Wanda smiles with a shrug. She looks around and sees he's standing with Tony and Pepper. "How are you guys?"

"Could be better," Tony sighs dramatically. "Natasha won't let me do any of my cool party tricks as if I'm going to ruin her little sister's party. If anything, I could make it the party of the century!"

Pepper rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "We were just talking about how we're thinking of going to the Bahamas for vacation in December and escaping the cold. We've invited you and Vision along since it's been awhile since we've all gone together. Of course, we can also invite Bug and Natasha."

"Oh," Wanda says for a lack of anything else to say. She doesn't know how to feel about it, but she peers over at Vision, who's just smiling at her and looking eager about it.

"I need another drink if I'm going to suffer through this party," Tony sighs. "Maybe I can convince Yelena instead!" He grins, dragging Pepper along, and they walk off together.

"So, what do you think?" Vision asks when they're alone. "I didn't want to reply on your behalf since I wasn't sure, but I think it'd be good for us. I've missed you," Vision pauses as if he's about his next words but then says, "a lot."

"Yeah, me too," Wanda starts to say, but then her brain gets all haywire because it feels like a lie. She did miss him, but did she miss him a lot? "I think."

"You think?"

Wanda wants to smack her forehead because she didn't mean to say that out loud. "I mean, I was complaining a lot that I haven't seen you in a while all last week."

"Yeah, work has just been overwhelming. I get so tired after work, I just can't keep up with the texting or calls."

But you can, Wanda thinks. Granted, you're her roommate, so it's easier. But even when you have to go on work trips, you regularly text her no matter what time and squeeze in a quick call, even if it's just to say goodnight.

The entire thing makes Wanda bite her tongue because why was she even thinking about that? That was completely irrelevant to Vision.

Then—because as if just thinking about you wasn't enough—her eyes trail across the room, and the scene before her makes Wanda even more confused about her feelings.

You're standing there with Natasha at the bar, but it looks like Natasha's calling someone over to introduce you to them.

Another brunette with long, wavy hair, like she just had a blowout done. Wanda's not 100% sure from this distance, but she has an inkling that the brunette also has green eyes. She's wearing a white halter top and wide-legged sage green pants. She wears a lot of rings, but her makeup is lighter and more summery compared to Wanda's darker, smokey eye makeup.

In short, this woman was the clean girl aesthetic version of Wanda.

And you look interested.

This was ridiculous, Wanda fumes, feeling her stomach sink and cheeks flare hot in anger. As quick as the anger came, it dissipated.

Why was she so angry?

She feels betrayed, and her thoughts are turning very ugly. Wanda is definitely not being a girl's girl right now with how much she's thinking she's better than the girl in front of you.

But that just makes everything so much more confusing.

"Wanda?"

Wanda turns her head back to Vision. He looks concerned, and even when his eyes trail toward what Wanda's staring at, there's no additional reaction. He's not upset that she's staring at you, and that has to mean something, right?

It must mean there was never a concern about how Wanda might've felt about you. Sure, there were a few things Wanda couldn't be without, and you were one of them, but nobody can't be without their best friend.

No one had ever blinked twice about you and Wanda.

Except now.

And that person was Wanda herself.

The more Wanda thought about the entire thing, the more she became curious. The idea of you dating people who looked like Wanda was intriguing. She wanted to ask questions but didn't know what to ask.

It might mean nothing, but it also might mean something.

And if it does mean something, Wanda wants to know what exactly it is.

Therefore, Wanda needs nothing in her way to find out the truth and exactly what she wants, regardless of the answer.

This was insane, wasn't it? Wanda's always been ambivalent about dating women. She's never gone out of her way to try it since she had Vision. Never mind entertaining thoughts about dating her best (girl)friend. And now, she was giving everything up in the pursuit of finding out what it could mean that her best friend was dating her lookalikes—and why she cared.

Wanda doesn't even know what she'll want to do with that information.

Wanda looks at Vision, peering at his features she's always found handsome. When she thinks back, she's not even sure why she complained to you about how she hasn't seen or heard from him lately. She hadn't even gone out of her own way to do something about it.

"I'm not going on the trip. I don't think I actually missed you like that."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The girl introduced to you was named Raye, Natasha's coworker that recently moved from Nashville. It was also confirmed she has green eyes, though they had specks of brown in them. She was a southern belle with a bold attitude, witty, and a wicked sense of humor. All in all, undeniably charismatic.

At least, that's what you told her in private because all Wanda could feel was unrestricted aggravation with the other girl. The southern twang made Wanda's eye twitch, mostly because she knew you were head over heels for accents.

"And then before I knew it, I was panicked and more lost than a blindfolded turkey on thanksgiving!"

You burst out laughing while Wanda's expression is stony, but when you look at Wanda, she forces a smile on her lips.

"Hahaha," Wanda dryly let out. "So funny."

But it wasn't. What the fuck did that even mean?

Raye continues to talk while you listen with rapt interest, and Wanda takes the time to observe your features in a way she's done many times before but with a different mindset.

Your lips are curved in a smile, glistening from your chapstick. They're shapely, and they look soft. It rivals her favorite feature of yours, which is your eyes. They've always been so expressive with her, and Wanda's been around long enough that she knows what every expression means. She can tell when they glint with mischievousness or are soft with immense compassion and empathy.

"So, what did you think of Raye?" You ask Wanda as you leave the party.

"She's cool, I guess," Wanda answers nonchalantly.

The rest of the party was excruciating between Raye constantly hanging around you and Wanda also being too nervous to be alone with you.

"Really cool," you sigh with a grin. "Glad I got her number. It's been a while since I've met someone so funny."

Was she funny, though? Wanda wonders.

"Funnier than me?" Wanda finds herself asking.

"No one could be funnier than you, brat," you smirk. "I almost peed myself laughing again when you almost knocked off Yelena's cake. I thought Natasha was about to enter into a coma." You snicker while Wanda rolls her eyes with a smile.

"Glad I can always give you the biggest laughs, stinky."

Wanda glances over at your face, recognizing the excitement by the brightness in them. It's just another reminder that, as your best friend, she knows you like the back of her hand.

But lately, when Wanda watches you pick up girls, she can tell when they're heady with desire. That look hasn't been directed at her, and Wanda wants to know what it'd be like if it were.

Wanda recalls the night you kissed the bartender and imagines if it had been her instead. She pictures your hand sliding across her jaw and cheek while your other pulls her closer at the waist.

It's horrifying when a slow pit of arousal builds in Wanda's gut and...other regions. It feels utterly frightening and wrong like she's betraying the friendship for having and then reacting to such thoughts about you.

But there's another part—the part that tells Wanda there's nobody in this world that she loves more than you. The mere idea of ever being apart from you was unfathomable. Wanda could and has endured so many things, and it would always be okay as long as she had you.

So, knowing that Southern Belle Raye has the potential to be more than a one-night stand to you, Wanda realizes that she has a very small window to not only come to terms with her newfound feelings but also act on them as well.

If this didn't go well, Wanda would definitely murder Steve.

PART TWO

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff x y/n #avengers imagine #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #modern avengers au #Elizabeth olsen x reader #mm: my fics

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chimcess · 1 year ago

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Waterlog || pjm (1)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, Age Gap!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 17.4k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: discussions of significant death (does not happen in story), talks of a bad car accident, talks of drunk driving (please drinking responsibly), more than likely wrong swimming terms and poor understanding of how the Olympics actually works (I did so much research, pls be nice to me lol), strong language, lots of mental health discussions, reader has mommy and daddy issues, Older reader, Jimin is a complete sweetie, the tamest chapter of them all A/N: Well, well, well, look who came back. I first wrote Waterlog back in 2021, and while I enjoy the premise, I hate the finished product. I wanted to go back and edit/fix what I originally had, but when I tried it became so different, I was better off rewriting the entire thing. I hope you guys like this mini-series. If you would like to read the original go to my blog archive. Thank you for reading!

masterlist || next || playlist

Staring at the pool, I managed to calm myself with relative ease. Jin had been right, physical therapy had made things easier. The water glistened prettily in the lights, and I waited with bated breath for my trainer to come in.

Emery was a sweet guy, pretty with a lip ring and tattoos, but with a surprising amount of shyness it was laughable. His softness was offset by his powerful muscles, and I enjoyed his never-ending sense of humor. Unlike Dr.Maddox, Emery treated me like I was a normal person. Not an Olympian who almost lost her leg in an accident, or the woman whose fiancé died. I was just Y/N, and it was a relief to be around him.

Running my fingers along the scars on my leg, I mindlessly drew patterns around them in the silence. It was not normal for Emery to take this long, but his assistant had said he was running behind due to another patient, so I was unbothered. I had planned my entire day around this, so I was in no rush.

Finally, the door swung open revealing a disheveled Emery. Breathing heavier than usual, he rolled his eyes at me in frustration before saying his pleasantries. Whoever it had been had gotten him worked up.

“Rough morning?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

With an annoyed sigh, he nodded.

“I shouldn’t say this, but I hope that woman never comes back here.”

I laughed, “We all have that someone. Don’t feel too bad.”

Shaking his head, I could tell it took restraint on his part not to rant and rave about the woman who had left. Emery and I were more friendly than most. I had been seeing him for over two years now, but we still kept a semblance of a professional relationship. Especially Emery.

“How’s the kids?” He asked, making small talk as we started getting ready for a swim.

I was the coach of a high school swim team in town, something I talked about quite a bit, and Emery always liked hearing about. He was a great water polo player but chose to go into physical therapy while he was in college. After seeing one of his friends get injured and how much physical therapy had helped him, Emery decided to change his major. Four years later, he says he could never see himself doing anything else.

“They’re doing well,” I said honestly. “We got a couple of freshmen on the team, but they’re doing a lot better than I thought they would.”

Emery hummed, offering me assistance getting into the pool. While walking had been mostly figured out, the obvious limp aside, I still had some trouble with getting in-and-out of things. Even my bathtub had to be switched out since I was unable to step over it. I still used the medical chair while in there, too.

The water was cool against my skin, and I felt instantly relieved. The dull aches and pains left as soon as I got into the water. Swimming to my usual spot, I waited patiently for Emery to join me.

“That’s great to hear,” He smiled.

Going to the edge of the pool, Emery grabbed a set of barbells and handed them to me. Taking them, the two of us went over the workout plan for the day. Pulling himself up on the pool’s edge, Emery picked up his stopwatch and told me to begin.

Getting on the interstate, I sang along to the radio as I made my way to Hoseok’s. The two of us had been friends since high school, our mutual love for swimming making it impossible to keep apart, and only growing with time. He was one of my biggest support systems after the accident. Both of us had retired years ago now, but I remembered our days as Olympians fondly. Those were the best years of my life.

A small group of our friends were getting together at his house to watch the summer Olympics this afternoon. The women’s swimming finals were happening today, and I knew two of the girls competing. Turning on my blinker, I quickly got off the interstate.

Pressing around my car’s radio screen, I went to my contacts and pressed Andy’s number. She was off today and in charge of getting everything together. Hoseok had tried to do it himself, but always seemed to forget who should do what and ended up buying everything himself. She picked up after the fourth ring.

“What’s up, sugar?” Andy greeted, her voice soft and light. Her Memphis accent was thick and brought a smile to my face. Everyone had made jokes about her being southern when we first met. “Don’t tell me you’re missing Nationals.”

I shook my head even though she could not see me.

“I’m on my way,” I replied. “What should I pick up? I completely forgot.”

Andy sighed, “You’re just as bad as Jin.”

Seokjin was Andy’s husband. The two of them had been together whenever they moved to Colorado, married before I ever met them, and became quick friends with Hoseok when they moved to the Springs. That was how I had met them. Whenever their daughter Dani was born, Andy had asked me to be her Godmother and I sobbed in her lap. They were my closest friends next to Hoseok. Jin was indeed very forgetful, though, and the jibe made me chuckle.

“Cut me some slack,” I argued. “I’ve been working out for two hours straight.”

I could hear the smile in her voice, “Just get some pizza or something. We’re picking up some wings and Hobi’s in charge of the drinks. Minho and Tilly are bringing… something. I don’t even know anymore.”

Fully laughing now, I saw a Little Ceasars up ahead and got into the correct lane. Minho and Matilda were loose cannons when it came to our parties. While sweet, and fiercely loyal, I found myself wondering why I hung out with them at times. We were night and day personality wise, but I loved them dearly. Minho would probably bring some Korean side dishes from home, and Matilda would pick up a few packs of ramen from the store. Andy was stressing over nothing again. I hoped she was getting proper rest on her days off.

“I’m at Little Caesars,” I told her, parking my car. “I’m going to get the basics. How many things of Crazy Bread should I get?”

She thought for a second before replying.

“Five?” She was definitely unsure about her answer.

It was hard to gauge just how hungry everyone would be, and Jin was a bottomless pit.

“Sounds good,” I said instead, already thinking about getting more.

“Drive safe. See you in a bit.”

“See you, Andy,” I unplugged my phone from the charger.

Pressing it to my ear, I pressed my start button and turned it off. I climbed out of my car and started walking to the store.

“Love you,” She sing-songed playfully.

“Love you, too,” I replied. Opening the door, a worker greeted me with a smile. “I’m about to order.”

Shoving my phone in my back pocket, I gave the worker an awkward smile before telling him my order. I ended up getting seven bags instead of five. Just in case. Dani really liked the stuff and Jin could smash an entire bag by himself. While I waited for the cheese pizza to come out of the oven, my phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I answered, unable to check the caller ID while the cashier shoved the crazy bread into my arms.

“I heard from a little bird that you’re thinking about competing again.”

I grinned and thanked the cashier as she handed me my other pizza.

“Hello to you, too, Frank,” I replied. “And your little birdie wouldn’t happen to be Hoseok, would it?”

Frank and Sarah Boone had become a part of my life after the accident. They ran a local support group to help those affected by drunk drivers to get connected with resources and therapy. The two had lost their son when he decided to drive home drunk from a party and used the group as their own coping mechanism. They were wonderful people and owned their own joint coffee shop and bookstore in Denver.

“Won’t say names,” He chuckled, “But it might have come from a certain part-timer. So, is it true?”

I placed the boxes in the passenger seat and rounded my car. This was not a conversation I was expecting to happen today. I had brought up the idea to Hoseok since the Olympics were coming up next year, but I was not committed to it. I was enjoying my new job coaching and did not think I was in any condition for competition. When he brought up the Paralympics I laughed. Those competitors were in better shape than I was, and I doubted I would qualify. I was disabled but my disability did not (as far as I knew) carry over into the pool.

“I was just talking shit, Frank,” Backing out of the parking space, I put in Hoseok’s address and started to drive. Switching over to my car’s phone, I put my phone down and looked at the road. “You know I’m happy with my life right now.”

He made a grunting noise that told me he did not really believe me. No one did. All of them were sure I was miserable about my career ending far before its time, and while that may be true, I felt more loss about the life I was supposed to have than winning medals. I missed Namjoon more than any medal. Frank and Sarah understood that.

“I know that,” He cleared his throat, and I could hear the congestion. Frank had come down with a nasty case of walking pneumonia two weeks ago and was still recovering. “Just got a little excited is all. It would be nice to see you putting yourself back out there.”

It would be nice to see myself back in the pool, I could admit that. I had dreams of it at times. Being a competitor was a part of who I was. From the first time my dad took me to my swim classes when I was six all the way until I claimed my eighth Olympic medal, everyone had said there was nothing I hated more than losing. I was fiery, free-spirited, and kept my eyes on the prize. It was the thing Namjoon loved about me the most. That made me frown.

“I left a champ,” I forced a laugh. “Need to save some gold for the rest of them.”

Hiding behind humor was a pastime.

Frank laughed, oblivious to the hollowness in my tone. “Heard they have a new guy taking your place.”

That made me snort, “He’s not taking my spot. Totally different competitions, my friend.”

“Winning gold like you, that’s for damn sure.”

It must be Jimin Park. The kid turned up on the scene a year after my accident. He was a very, very talented swimmer. Fast as a bullet with the best butterflies I had ever seen, Park was a force to be reckoned with in the men’s league. It was a joy to watch him swim and this year would be his first Olympics. Hoseok and I were very excited to watch him.

“If you’re talking about Park,” I chuckled. “He’s far from new. He’s been competing for a few years now. First Olympics, though.”

“He’s young, ain’t he?”

I nodded, “23, I think.”

Truthfully, I did not know how old he was. I remember the buzz around how young he was when he first broke out on the scene. He was eighteen when he took home gold all season before a family emergency took him out of the Olympics last minute. No one knew what really happened, but his team had said his brother was in an accident, tragically losing his life, and Jimin was prioritizing his family. He’s competed every year since and with the Olympics next year, I was certain Park would be there. He deserved it.

I was parked in front of the house now and from the cars outside, I was the last person to arrive. Frank and I talked for a few moments. It was cute how much he had learned about swimming so we could be buddies. Sarah was the only person who recognized my face when I first started going to the meetings and her husband was determined to get me to open after weeks of sitting in bitter silence in the back.

We hung up after I promised I would make it to the meeting next Thursday. Frank was not happy about me skipping the past two weeks, but understood I was taking some time to myself. My boys were going to compete this year, I had fought tooth and nail for that funding, and the extra hours at school were exhausting. Jeremy and Evan showed promise, but they knew how to drive me up the wall with all of their simple mistakes.

As I suspected, the party was in full swing. Matilda and Minho were laughing loudly on the sofa, Hoseok sporting a beer in the recliner next to them, and Dani practicing her gymnastics in the middle of it all. I could hear the commentators talking animatedly about the girls, who they believed would come out on top and highlights from the night before, but I never really paid them any mind.

“Pizza’s here!” Minho boomed, practically running to greet me.

I laughed, handing over the boxes, “Need help carrying the rest in.”

Matilda offered, happily taking my car keys and leaving the house. Minho had disappeared into the kitchen. Dani spared me enough attention for a smile and wave before launching into excited pleas for me to watch her new moves.

“Super cool, babe,” I smiled sweetly after her handstand. Dani was not particularly good at gymnastics. She started later than the other girls, rarely did anything she was actively afraid of, and hated her coach. Andy was already looking for a better gym, but I just thought she should start pointing her in another direction. Dani loved dancing and she would be a wonderful ballerina or figure skater if given the proper training. The Kim’s, however, seemed fine watching her deal with gymnastics and cheerleading. “You’re getting better.”

Dani beamed, “Daddy said the same thing.”

Flipping the right way around, her hair coming out of its messily tied bun and falling down past her shoulders. Brown, loose waves made her look so much younger than her eight years, her small stature only selling the illusion even more. Her skin was smooth, and she always looked as though she had been playing outside in the sun, a constant tinge of pink beneath her sandy skin. Her features favored her father, large eyes, long face, and plush, pillow-like lips, but after meeting Andy’s parents, I could see her grandmother hidden within the mischievous glint in her eyes and too small ears.

“Your dad’s a smart guy,” I joked.

She continued to babble away as I made myself more comfortable, kicking off my shoes and tossing my hat onto the small buffet table that sat above the shoe rack. Matilda came back inside, her arms filled with bags of bread, and I took two from the pile. With a thankful, thin-lipped grin, she also complimented Dani’s moves before disappearing around the corner in the direction of the kitchen.

“Dani,” Hoseok seemed to have finally grown tired of hearing the girl talk. I would imagine this was all he had been hearing since he arrived. “Do you want to color with me?”

The little girl clapped happily, her eyes bright and shining, before abandoning her mat to gather a few coloring books and her massive hoard of crayons. Hoseok looked at me then, a sly smile on his face before winking. I chuckled and shook my head. He always did that to make her shut up.

I left the living room before Dani came back. I loved her dearly, but I could admit she talked too much. It was a good thing for a kid her age to be so social but that did not mean I wanted to hear her every waking thought. Andrea and Seokjin were the only parents in our little group, and I imagined it would stay that way for a while. Even if my dreams of children were still alive, I did not have anybody I wanted to take on that responsibility with.

Minho was eating the pizza, as expected, while Matilda had already claimed her own bag of Crazy Bread. Andy and Jin were snuggled up at their dining table, his arms securing her to his chest, and she curled into him. I loved watching them together. I had grown up in a house with two people who hated one another, barely kept up a facade of civility before my mother skipped down to be with her new boyfriend in Florida leaving my dad and I behind in Pennsylvania. We made it work but things were never the same after that. It made me happy to know little Dani would feel the love radiating in her home as she grew up. I had never seen two people so enamored with one another in my life- not even Namjoon and I.

“How was therapy?” Minho asked after we exchanged pleasantries. “Hoseok said you were talking about competing next season.”

I laughed in disbelief. That man did not know how to keep his mouth shut. I said the same thing I told Frank over the phone, and he scoffed. Minho never truly laughed, if I was honest. It was always a snicker, scoff, or chuckle. He was a man of little words and even fewer outbursts of joy, and I found his versions of those things just as reserved as the rest of him. He was the most expressive when he smiled, but those were just as rare as a genuine laugh. Dani managed to squeeze more out of him than anybody else.

“Stop meddling!” Andy scolded the other man from her spot in Seokjin’s lap.

“Never,” My friend replied, amusement clear in his voice.

“Never!” Dani echoed, voice louder than Hoseok’s. She was giggling happily alongside him, and I rolled my eyes. He was her favorite. “Never!” She repeated again, pleased when Hoseok laughed. “Never!”

“That’s enough,” Jin’s voice was even and smooth.

Dani did not shout again but we could all hear her and Hoseok attempting to cover up their laughter. Andy smiled fondly. Their little friendship had warmed her heart. After Dani, Andrea had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. It had come back six times before her doctor said she needed to get a hysterectomy. She grieved the children they would never have, the large family she dreamed of stolen from her, but once Dani was old enough to walk, she had been glued to Hoseok’s hip.

Hoseok for all he spoke about never wanting children, he adored Dani. His family was small, he and his sister the only children, but they were extremely close. She lived in New York City as a fashion designer and got married last year, and I always had the feeling Hoseok felt lonely without her. Dani was a welcome break from routine and made him feel special. It was sweet but I hoped my friend would find someone to share his life with someday.

“It’s starting,” Hoseok announced.

It was a great day for the U.S. Opal Simmons was one to look out for. She was the oldest woman on the team, a shocking 24, but she could out swim a vast majority of them. Her freestyles were amazing, earning her a gold with Japan just a few points behind. I was hopeful she would be able to come out on top in her distance swim. While not the fastest in the pool, the girl knew how to pace herself. The cameras cut to the shot of one of her coaches smiling triumphantly at the performance.

He was a good friend of mine, Oswald Bunch. He had been heavily involved with the Olympics for years now, promoted to one of the lead coaches back in 2020, but I remembered when he was still competing. A few years older than me, Ozzie was known for his backstrokes and long-distance swimming, and we bonded whenever we got the chance to meet in London back in 2012.

That was my first Olympics. I was a fresh-faced 20-year-old on a mission. My team at the time was stoked to have me around and I was excited to be there. I had built up a solid reputation over the course of two years, winning seven medals my first adult-competitive season, and the high was incredible. Back then, I was always the one to beat at the breaststroke and therefore, the medleys were in my favor as well. I walked away with 4 golds that year, and again in 2016. The accident happened a year later, but I left the competitive world with 8 gold Olympic medals and 19 world champion gold medals. Katie Ledecky held the record now, but for a time, I was the most decorated female swimmer in history. I was excited when I was finally passed up, happy for the younger woman.

Ozzie was the man, but sadly never got out of Michael Phelp’s shadow. It was not his fault. That man was insane in the water and would become the most decorated Olympian ever. Bunch was a great swimmer, but I did not know a single person who could compare to Phelps. Hoseok, maybe, but he only had 12 gold medals. Phelps had 23.

“Simmons looks great out there,” Hoseok praised, a large smile on his face.

“Her butterflies could use a little work,” I murmured back, already seeing how I could fix it with some extra exercises. “It’s slowing down her freestyle. What else is she scheduled for?”

“I think she’s doing the 200-meter freestyles and the medley relay,” He replied, taking a sip of his beer. “Bunch is banking on her pacing.”

“She won’t win those,” I was positive. “She’s just going to get tired. Breaststrokes are obviously not her thing.”

He laughed, “You’re the breaststroke queen, Y/N. No one's as good as yours.”

I shrugged, “Ledecky is a great swimmer.”

“Never said she wasn’t,” He sipped. “Her freestyles are killer. Girls could never beat you in breaststroke or a medley. You’re untouchable there.”

It made me smile despite myself. Hoseok was right, those were my competitions. Even if Katie had surpassed my record for most gold medals ever, I still had more Olympic medals than she did, and they were in completely different events. I could have kept my title had the accident never happened. I would have. Even if we were friendly, Ledecky would have been my competition, and I would have fought hard to keep the record.

“What’s Jimin doing this year?” Matilda asked as the women’s scores were posted. Opal would be a strong contender. “Anyone know?”

I nodded, “I haven’t watched every competition, but he’s sticking to what he does best. Didn’t he swim the 200 yesterday?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok replied. “He’s skipping out today and doing his individual tomorrow. Swimming back-to-back after that. Kid’s a fucking animal in the water.”

I couldn't agree more. As I stared at Opal’s smiling face, her pale blonde hair and bright blue eyes, I wished I had been able to watch Jimin instead. She was cold and impassive even with a large, perfectly white grin that took up most of her face. In fact, I found her quite boring outside of the water. No flair or features that set her apart. Just a tall, well-built blonde with a nice smile. Ozzie would have to work hard to make her memorable.

“Simmons did well,” I yawned. “It’s getting late, though, and I have work in the morning.”

The goodbyes were quick, and Dani made me promise to take her roller skating soon. There was a girl at school making fun of her and she wanted her “super cool” and “famous” aunt to tell them off. We all laughed, and I told her we could go this weekend after gymnastics practice.

My drive home was uneventful. It was already dark out, something that bothered me more than I would ever admit out loud, and I never turned on the radio. I preferred to drive in absolute silence, eyes and ears glued to the road. I had only started talking on the phone recently.

I was much worse after the accident. I refused to get inside of a car for weeks and if I did, I was a mess. No one was allowed to be a distracted driver either. No radio, no phone, no conversations. Nothing. Jin had been the default chauffeur during that time and put up with my anxiety better than the others.

It was close to a year before I tried to sit in the front seat again. Another five before I got behind the wheel. For hours I would sit in the garage with my hands on the steering wheel staring off into the distance. I was still in a wheelchair for most of my daily activities and a very obvious limp made me too self-conscious to be seen. Isolating was easy. Keeping the others away was more difficult.

My drives started with me just backing out of the driveway. I went around the block a few weeks later, hands shaking and Andy trying her best to soothe me in the passenger seat. I did not drive past the Whole Foods two minutes away from my house until after the second year. Things were easier after I ditched the wheelchair and got more open to the idea of therapy.

Moving out of Denver was the best decision I ever made, the Springs were easier to drive in and the traffic was not as awful. Andrea and Jin bought in Black Forest once I was settled in Briargate, so loneliness was never an option.

Matilda almost moved in after the housewarming party Andy threw for me. She said it was far too big for one person and the neighborhood was to die for. I laughed her off at the time not really wanting to admit how nice it sounded.

Nestled in Fairfax, my house was a beautiful piece of architecture. The striking brick and wood front exterior provided a warm welcome, with teal trimmings bringing a fresh feeling to the otherwise plain color scheme. With five bedrooms and four bathrooms, I dreamed of the day I was able to fill them all. A dream that I hoped would come before I hit 35.

Pulling up to the house, I waved to Chika next door. The old woman raised her hand, still nursing a large mug of what I assumed to be tea and smiled. They were lovely people and we often helped one another out whenever we could. Chika liked to bring over food if she cooked and I paid my landscapers to keep with their lawn.

“Late night?” Chika called out from her front porch.

“Went to a friend’s house,” I replied.

“Good,” She meant it. “Glad to see you getting out of the house.”

I smiled but was not sure how well she could see my face in the dark.

“Yeah. Night, Chika.”

“Night, Y/N.”

I showered quickly and sipped on a cup of chamomile tea before heading off to bed. After taking my night medications, one to force myself to sleep while the other blocked the never-ending nightmares, I climbed into bed. I was able to play a single game of solitaire before they both kicked in. I fell asleep with the sound of gentle rain humming in the background.

“Let’s go, guys!” I yelled, blowing my whistle.

The twelve boys waited, their small talk coming to an abrupt end. We had just finished warming up and I allowed all of them a short water break. I was a huge advocate for rest periods. No one needed to pull a muscle or fatigue early due to over working. I had a 2800-yard routine prepared, 800 of those done during our warm-ups, and the rest divided between our main set and cooldowns.

Jordan, our captain, was smiling happily. He was such an excited kid, and his positivity was contagious. While some of the boys were disappointed when I first chose him to replace our old captain after his graduation, I was sure his spirit would do everyone some good. It did not take long for the others to come around and he was beloved.

“Alright, so we have a 1600 main set. In between each of our reps, we will be doing a switch out of easy breast and backstrokes. Clear?”

“Crystal!” They all replied in unison.

“Alright. That's what I like to hear,” Flipping through my clipboard was more for show than anything. I used to rely on it heavily when I first started teaching since brain damage messed with my short-term memory, but I had been doing this long enough to know what was happening. Now it was just a way for me to write notes about their performances. “We’re starting with a 4x100 with 15-second rest; the first 25 butterfly. 3x100 with 10-second rest; again, first 25 butterfly. Following?”

No questions were asked, and a few guys voiced they were good for me to keep going.

“Good. Then we have a 2x100 with 5-second rest. First 25?”

“Butterfly,” Jordan replied.

“Thank you, Abbot. Okay, and we’re finishing up with 8x50 freestyle. Fast and easy.”

All twelve of them began to prepare to take their mark. One by one they stood on their blocks and waited for me to make the call. I admired them all for a moment. You could see the difference in each one of them. Those who were confident stood tall, their shoulders squared, and head held high. Newcomers were still figuring out their place on the team but were eager to prove themselves. Two of them would be leaving us this year, Gabriel and Marcus, and neither one of them were continuing to swim after graduation. It was a sad thought, but I was happy with how they carried themselves. They had both come a long way.

“Take your mark,” My voice echoed. Each boy got into their starting position as I watched them like a hawk. One of the freshmen, Phineas, needed major work on his form. I would talk to Jordan about it. Grabbing hold of my stopwatch, I took a deep breath. “Go!”

Marcus was the first in, like always, and I ignored him. I knew he was fully capable of taking care of himself. Phineas was the weakest link in my chain right now. He was struggling, his arms growing tired and his speed nonexistent. The other freshmen, Tobias, or as the guys called him, Twig, was not much better. He had more strength, but I chopped that up to his size. I would need to really start working some more beginner drills to get them in shape. Jordan and Gabriel would be more than happy to give up a Saturday or two to help out.

Marcus was the first one finished and I marked his time. Still a tenth of a second faster than Jordan. After Jordan came Gabriel and then Joseph and Anthony. I was disappointed in Jett’s time, but I would invite him to the weekend practices with the others. He needed some foot and hip exercises. Twig came in before Phineas, but every other boy was already out of the water by the time they made it back. Phineas was visibly upset, and I made a note to pull him to the side after practice to cheer him up.

Practices typically lasted two hours and the boys swam hard. Phineas did, in fact, perk up after I told him I was noticing tons of improvements in his performance. Twig just seemed happy he was not the worst guy in the water. After talking it out with Jordan, we decided on a good weekend time for extra practices, and I stayed behind to print off a poster and signup sheets for the rest of the boys. I had a feeling almost everyone except Marcus would show. He had a part-time job now and his weekends were full.

Sitting in my office, I poured over my observations and timecards. With a team this large I should have an extra set of hands to help with timing. I sent an email to the principal asking about helpers and got back to the nitty gritty.

All of them could work on something. Phineas might have needed the most work, Twig not far behind him, but my most seasoned swimmers had room for improvement. Jett was still struggling with maximizing propulsion, Anthony and Milo needed to get better water balance, and Gabriel’s pull could be better. Even my best swimmers, Jordan and Marcus, could use a bit of refinement in technique. It was nitpicking but they were too talented to give up on their potential.

It was close to nine when my phone began to ring. I knew it could not be any of my usual calls. Andy was working nights this week and Jin was fast asleep at home with Dani. Minho was in bed by eight, Matilda would never bother me this late, and Hoseok hated phone calls. Checking the caller ID, I was shocked to see Ozzie’s name.

“Hello?” I answered tentatively, afraid he might have called me by accident.

“Otter,” Ozzie greeted me happily. He seemed so delighted that I answered, I smiled even though I hated the nickname. “How’s life going?”

I chuckled, “Rockin’ and rollin’. Saw your girl last night. Looks great, Oz.”

“Appreciate it,” He was so dismissive of it I became interested. This was not a catch-up phone call or else he might have hooked onto the bait. My stomach twisted in anticipation. If it was not for pleasantries, then it was for work and that was something to be excited about. “Still teaching high school?”

“Mhm,” I fiddled with my pencil, papers forgotten. “My boys team is strong. I only have three girls that signed up so we’re just training during P.E. and hoping some more join.”

We chatted a bit more about the team. The longer it went on the more knots I had. Oswald was fishing for something, and I wanted to figure out what. After telling him about Phineas, I asked what the random call was about.

“Always cutting to the chase,” He joked.

I did not laugh.

“Alright, you caught me,” Ozzie sighed. “Look, the Olympic team is looking for another assistant coach and your name came up a few times.”

My mouth went dry. I had heard about Tiara Marsh leaving to focus on her family. She had a baby and stepped down a few months after coming back from maternity leave. I respected the decision and messaged her my congratulations. Ozzie had taken the lead coach position three years ago with Todd Packer as his partner. The other assistant, Drew Jones, was a sweet girl from what I heard and working with her would be a dream.

Still, it was an impossible task. Trying to imagine myself on the sidelines, coaching the next big names in sporting history with a massive squad behind me made my stomach queasy. I doubt any of them respected me. My leg was ruined, my career burned out just as quickly as it started, and I never had the chance to reach my peak. Now I am a 30-year-old washed up recluse. Just thinking about the media frenzy made my breathing get a little heavier.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Oz,” I murmured.

“I told them you wouldn’t go for it,” He replied, unsurprised. “They’re going to approach Storm Kline instead.”

“Oh,” Now I was confused. “Why’d you bring it up then?”

“Because I got to thinking,” I braced myself. Ozzie was known for his big, bright, dumb, impulsive ideas. “I knew the Olympics would be asking too much of you. Cameras and interviews are the last thing you want after the fucking circus you went through last time.”

That was an understatement. Circus did not even begin to describe the absolute hell the media put me through after the accident. So many speculations and insensitive remarks managed to ruin any peace I could have gotten during that time.

While I was in a coma, no one knowing if I would ever wake up again, the news thought it wise to harass my friends and family. My old coach, Victor Stanley, was assaulted whenever he left the hospital. When news got out that Namjoon was pulled off life support, his mother and father were so sick and tired of people parked outside their house they packed up and moved away before I even woke up. I wanted nothing to do with the media after that.

“It’s a little different but I think you’d be a great fit for the job,” Ozzie continued. “One of my boys, Jimin Park, is in need of a personal coach. His mom is sick and he’s wanting to stay in Michigan for as long as he can before coming out to the Springs to start training for Paris.

“I almost called Jung, but I don’t think the two of them would get along well enough for this to work. You’re the only person I know I can trust with him, and from what I’m hearing, you’re one hell of a coach already.”

This was somehow even more nerve wracking than the assistant position. I had never trained one-on-one before, at least, not long term. I was sure I could do it, but a high schooler was very different from an Olympic athlete relying on me to keep him in shape for the season.

“What happened to Hamilton?” I asked, still unable to wrap my head around the situation. “I thought he was Park’s personal trainer.”

“He was but the two fell out when Jimin decided to stay in Michigan. You know how Matt is.”

That I did. Matthew Hamilton was a massive asshole, and that was putting it lightly. He was one of the best trainers around and got results which was why he still had a job despite his rotten attitude. I had the misfortune of running into him quite a few times over the years and my distaste only grew with each passing. I could imagine that conversation not going over particularly well.

“But what about my team?” I asked, staring at my desk. All of my plans and strategies were mapped out and I was ready to put them to use. My boys were counting on me and leaving them felt wrong. “I don’t want to leave them high and dry, Oz.”

“Ask Hoseok to cover for you,” I rolled my eyes at his blase attitude.

“This is my team.”

“And this is Jimin Park.”

I hated that I understood where he was coming from. Most of my boys would never go off to swim professionally and their skill set was not on par with anyone out right now. They were not committed to the strict regime that would take and I did not get paid well enough to justify the extra hours. Jimin, however, would pay me extremely well and I would get that experience under my belt. I might even learn a few new things to add to my own drills.

“Give me a few days to think about it,” I finally conceded. “And set up a phone call, or meeting, or something with the kid. Need to make sure we’re on the same page before we waste one another’s time.”

Ozzie laughed, “I think you’ll get along just fine, but sure. I think he’d appreciate the gesture.”

Nothing of much importance was said after that. We hung up with promises of talking soon and then I was alone once more. My office was still just as messy and swamped with paperwork as it had been before, but it all looked different. It felt like I was already gone, and a deep homesickness settled in my chest. I stared at the papers in front of me and sighed before shooting a text to Hoseok.

As I expected, everyone had told me to jump at the opportunity. Hoseok even said if I didn’t, I would be the biggest idiot he had ever met. Matilda asked if she could come (I told her no), and Dani just seemed bummed that we could not hang out anymore. Andy and Jin were the most supportive of the situation while Minho the most cautious. He was worried about the media catching wind of something and causing a frenzy. After Matila pointed out how old news I was, I felt a little less afraid of that possibility even if it was a hit to my ego.

Ozzie seemed pumped when I told him I was open to the idea if Jimin and I seemed to mesh well. I was firm in my decision to talk to him before making any concrete plans, and from what Ozzie told me, my future student was extremely receptive to the idea. I also learned that Opal was jealous of her fellow Olympian, but I tried not to let that puff up my chest.

That was why I was sitting in my home office, hair nicely styled and a light layer of makeup on waiting for Jimin to join our Zoom call. I wore blue since Ozzie said it was his favorite color, but the material was slowly driving me insane. While the color was nice, deep blue and sparkled whenever the light hit it, it was scratchy and irritated the skin around my chest and shoulders. I almost got up to change but a small icon with the letters ‘JP’ in the center popped up before I could.

“Hello?” A soft voice called out.

“Hey,” I replied with an awkward wave. “Can you see me?”

“Yeah, can you see me?”

I shook my head, “Just your icon.”

Cursing under his breath, Jimin apologized for the tech issues. I adored how nice he was to listen to. It was unique, gentle and raspy, but also feminine in its softness. There was no bass or hardness, every sound and syllable light and airy with self-depreciating laughter after every insult he threw at himself. Apparently, Jimin was not great with technology and always had a difficult time with cyber meetings.

“This is fine with me,” I tried to reassure him. “I don’t need to see your face to talk.”

“No,” He agreed, “But it’s a little awkward for you to have your camera on and mine’s off.”

I could hear him clicking around. “I’ll turn mine off, too, if that helps.”

He shut that down immediately and continued clicking and typing. After a few more minutes, he found his problem. Then the icon was gone and there he was.

His face was round, his cheeks plump, and chin soft. The first thing I noticed about him was his lips. They were rounded and plump like a baby duck with a soft, heart shaped cupid’s bow that led up a small, button nose. Everything about his face was soft except his eyes which were almond shaped and flicked outwards like a cat’s. His hair was pitch black and parted down the middle, framing his face and making his pale skin look like snow. When he caught a glimpse of himself in the camera a large smile took over his face and I felt the wind get knocked out of me.

“Can you see me?” He asked.

I nodded, “Yeah, I think we’re in the clear.”

Neither one of us knew what to say for a moment. He swirled around in his chair in search of his water bottle. He stood up, excusing himself for a moment. He was also wearing a blue shirt, a pair of black pants, and seemed just as nervous as I did. He left the room while I sat and thought about him.

There was one word to describe Jimin: pretty. His soft lines and tiny waist made him look so much smaller than I had imagined him. All of the years seeing him on the tv did nothing to compare to watching him walk around a little room in his home. Without a cap and goggles, Jimin was angelic, and I felt uneasy. How was I supposed to work with someone I found this attractive?

“Sorry,” He was back now, a large Yeti cup in hand. “I should’ve made sure I had this already.”

“No worries. I’m not in any rush.”

He sat back down, and I finally noticed the large oval necklace he was wearing. I did not know what it could mean to him, but I had seen him with it a few times at events. It was simple and silver, no gem in the center of the pendant, and sat directly over his heart. He took a sip from his cup, snapping me back to action.

“How’s your mother doing?” I asked. “Ozzie told me she wasn’t well.”

His expression saddened me, and I hated that I brought it up. I knew how much I did not enjoy talking about Namjoon’s death, and while his mother was still alive, she was not well. Unfortunately, I could not take the question back.

“I’m not sure how much you know,” He started, leaning back in the leather computer chair. “She has melanoma and isn’t doing chemotherapy anymore. I’m staying in Michigan so I can spend as much time with her as possible.”

My heart ached for him and his family. Cancer had a reputation for ripping families apart and I could only imagine how this was affecting the young swimmer. My own grief was long and drawn out, guilt and shame hanging over my head for years before I was finally able to let it go, but the death itself was swift. Joon was dead and buried before I woke up from the coma, but I could recall every detail of that hospital room when Victor told me what happened. I hated to think about watching the life slip from him, knowing he would die, and knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

“I understand. I’m really sorry to hear that.”

I knew it was inadequate, but I did not know this man well enough to say my thoughts out loud. Maybe later, after a few weeks of training together, I could get the courage to let him know I would be there if he needed someone to talk to. I knew all about navigating grief and I would happily help him stay motivated through this horrible, tragic time. Jimin stayed quiet so I took it upon myself to get the ball rolling again.

“I know you’re going through a difficult time right now, and I just want you to know that I get it and I see you. If we work together, I will make sure your mental health comes first. Whatever you need, whatever your family needs, will always come before getting in the pool.

“You were working with Hamilton before this, and whatever happened between you two- I don’t know, that’s none of my business, but I can promise you I will try my best to make sure our professional relationship doesn’t reach that point. Just tell me what’s up and I’ll make it work.”

Jimin smiled a small, sad smile that paled in comparison to that blinding show of teeth earlier. My eyes could not help their roaming and I felt guilty. There was a chance we would be working together, and I could not feel this way about him if that time came. I could only hope that if we did decide to move forward with this arrangement, any affections I could have for him would get buried. I would have to talk to Hoseok about this.

“I have to take her to appointments once a week,” He replied, voice small and eyes staring at something off camera. “She’s not getting her chemo anymore but still goes to see her doctor often to manage symptoms as best she can. She also has a dance class every Sunday morning and I will be going with her.”

I nodded, “I can live with that. As long as you’re still putting in work you can take your mom anywhere.”

He took a deep breath and finally looked at the camera again. The vulnerability I found there took me off guard. Jimin must be someone who wears their emotions on their sleeve, and I would have to learn to nurture that. Namjoon always told me I needed to work on being more sensitive to others, a skill I had yet to master.

“Matt didn’t like how much time I spent out of the pool. I understand where he’s coming from but I’m hoping we can come up with a training schedule that works well for the both of us. I feel bad enough pulling you away from your life, and I don’t want my personal shit to bleed into what you’re going through.”

It was a kind gesture, one I appreciated, but he needed to get over it. I told him in so many words that I was happy to help him.

“Trust me,” I said. “If I didn’t want to do this then we wouldn’t be talking.”

Jimin seemed to like my bluntness and I was fond of his over-analytical anxiety. The way he fidgeted reminded me of Namjoon, his forward and direct confrontation of his emotions and needs so strikingly similar it made it nearly impossible for me to dislike him. I don’t think a person alive could dislike this man.

“I can be in Ann Arbor next week,” Jimin had gone on another rant about inconveniencing me and I shut it down. “Everything here is already squared away. We can discuss it more later, how does that sound?”

He smiled wearily, his nerves causing him to squirm in his seat.

“I’m really looking forward to working with you, Y/N.”

I hoped my expression looked as sincere as I felt, “I’ll take care of you, kiddo.”

Pulling a face, Jimin laughed heartily. Triumphant, I smiled brazenly, his laughter contagious. I made a note to pull out a few age jokes now and then if it meant making him smile like that.

“I’m an adult man, I’ll have you know,” He was still laughing.

“Could’ve fooled me,” I teased.

“We’re going to get along just fine,” He seemed more confident than ever, and it warmed my heart. “Let me know when you’re expected to get here. Do you have my number?”

We exchanged our contact details. After days of talking over email, I finally found a smiley face emoji in my notifications, a Michigan area code attached. Saving his number, I replied with the old woman emoji earning myself another laugh.

“Talk to you later, Park.”

“See you, coach.”

I left the meeting, my chest much lighter after talking to him. He was a sweet man and not half bad to look at. I was a few years older but not disgustingly so, and he was more than available from the sound of things. Realizing the direction my thoughts were going in, I stood up from the chair to start writing out some drills and scheduling prototypes. Before I could get out of the door, however, my phone vibrated in my hand.

Jimin: 👶

I did not respond until I had my flight booked.

Me: I’m flying in on Tuesday. Know a good place to stay?

He replied a few minutes later.

Jimin: Do you need a lot of space?

Me: Not really

Jimin: One of my neighbors has their mother-in-law suite for rent. I could probably cut you a good deal with them.

I smiled. He really was a sweetheart.

Me: Thank you. And no deals. I can pay for myself.

Jimin: My mother would be very upset if I didn’t at least try.

Jimin: I was raised to respect the elderly.

I laughed out loud, thoroughly amused. I had a feeling he was testing the waters after I poked fun at him earlier. Jimin was probably used to the stick stuck up Hamilton’s ass. He was in for a treat. At the pool I was cool and collected but I could cut up with the best of them.

Me: Sorry, couldn’t hear you over the sound of my hip breaking

I was practically giddy with excitement waiting for his response. It had been such a long time since someone joked around with me like this. Hoseok tried but he was awful at taking a joke, so I stopped poking the bear. It was refreshing and all too familiar.

Jimin: I’ll get you one of those life alerts just in case.

Was he flirting with me? Did I care? Shrugging, I went along with it. I would remain strictly professional while we worked together, but if things developed after that I would let them. Happily. I barely knew this guy, but I remember this feeling. It was the first time since Joon’s death that it showed itself to me and I wanted to hold onto it.

First work then play, I told myself.

Who knows? This little bit of infatuation could fade just as quickly as it came, and I would leave Ann Arbor with a new friend instead. Might even be able to score a steady job with the kid if things worked out. My life in Colorado would remain untouched, my friends happily accepting a new kid in the group when he came to visit, and my house just as bare and empty as it always had been. The years continuing to pass me by.

I tried not to think about why that thought made me want to cry.

“I told you I’m fine,” I sighed into the phone, waiting at the baggage claim for my things. “You’re in rare form today.”

Andrea laughed, the sound slightly hysterical and I winced. That was the wrong thing to say, but she was driving me insane. I had traveled around the world multiple times, and she was acting like Michigan was going to kill me.

“Well excuse me for worrying,” Andy bit back, her tone clipped and harsh.

“I’m sorry,” I heaved one of my bags off the conveyor belt. “I know you’re just looking out for me, but I promise you I’m fine Andrea. You’ll be my first phone call if that changes.”

The other bag finally popped up and I quickly snatched it. Slinging the large duffle bag over my shoulder, I adjusted it until it rested comfortably on my shoulders. Lifting the handlebar off my large suitcase, I drug it behind me while I followed the signs for the exit. Jimin said he arranged for someone to pick me up but did not specify who. He was busy with a few interviews this morning and could not get me himself. He had been very disappointed about it.

“I know I’m nagging,” Andy groaned. “Scratch that. I’m acting like a total helicopter parent.”

I laughed, “Your husband had been even worse. The man tried to book me a charter flight because he was worried about my leg in an airport. What the fuck does that even mean?”

Everyone had been super happy for me, especially my team. Those boys almost cried when I told them who I was helping out and Jordan begged me to bring him back something autographed. None of them seemed as familiar with my own background but I was fine with that. All of them took to Hoseok rather well, except for Marcus who made me swear to come back before school let out. I did not tell them I was planning to make monthly trips to give Jimin some space with his mom. I was sure that surprise would go over very, very well.

Despite his indifference when I was first talking about the job, Seokjin became an overprotective dad as soon as I made him aware my flights were booked. He was quick to cancel them and put in a few calls of his own. Jin was an operations manager for Delta airlines and knew plenty of pilots. He was able to get me a plane to land in Willow Run out in Ypsilanti, but I quickly intervened and told him a normal flight was perfect. I rebooked my tickets and flew into Detroit Metro at 10 am.

Andy snorted, “He means well.”

It was snowing in Michigan, and I was finally hit with the realization that I would be seeing far more of it here than I ever did back in Colorado. It was only mid-September, so it was still light and melted away quickly. I would have to ask Jimin if it stayed this calm into December, but I had a feeling things would pick up by late November.

It was a very cold morning in Detroit, and I was excited to get into a heated car. Getting off the phone with Andy, I quickly sent Jimin a quick text message letting him know I was outside and looking for my ride. A loud honk made my jump, almost dropping my phone in the process.

Pulled up at the curb was a navy-blue Volkswagen Beetle. I could tell from its body that it was an older model, and it was a convertible. Sitting behind the wheel was a little old lady, a pair of gardening gloves on her hands and a pair of large, hexagon sunglasses taking up most of her face. Her face was familiar, and it hit me. Sitting behind that wheel was Jimin’s mother.

She smiled at me and waved, beckoning me closer to the little car. I forced myself to smile back. My nerves made it feel damn near impossible, but I managed. Opening the door, I did not know where to put my things. The backseat was so small.

“There’s a lever on that side that’ll push it up. You should be able to get everything to fit if you try hard enough.”

Fumbling around, I finally found the little handle and pulled up. The seat lurched forward, folding in on itself, and I clumsily shoved my suitcase into the backseat. It smelled like stale cigarettes and fake pine, but when you had a car this old it usually had history. I was excited to pick up my new car from the dealership. My Porsche already had a difficult time driving around Colorado and I did not think it would survive the heavy winters in Michigan, so I decided to leave it home and get an Altima. I had the money and could easily get rid of it. Tilly had been talking about needing an upgrade.

Finally managing to get both bags into the backseat, I put the seat back and got into the car. Closing the door, I sighed in content. The heaters were at full blast and pointed directly at my cold face. Buckling my seatbelt, I leaned back and tried to relax after the long day of flying. Jimin’s mother pulled off the curb.

“It’s cold out there,” She laughed, her voice just as sickeningly sweet as her son’s. “Glad you were able to make it okay.”

I nodded, “I’m surprised to see it snowing so early. We don’t usually get anything until closer to Thanksgiving.”

“Colorado, right?” I could hear a faint accent and I remembered that Jimin was first-generation Korean American. Both of his parents moved to the states before he and his brother were born. Media outlets loved talking about it, but I was not sure how much he enjoyed discussing his personal life. While he came off as a sweet and mild-mannered man, he kept his personal life private. “I’ve heard it’s very pretty.”

“It is. Too expensive, but very, very pretty.”

Then she was fiddling around with the radio, and I finally cracked a genuine smile. I was not sure how much work had been done on her car, but I was positive the sound system had been completely redone. A brand-new radio, complete with a touch screen and Bluetooth, lit up at the touch of her fingers. A man’s voice serenaded us through the updated speakers, and I was in awe at how beautiful it sounded. I assumed he was speaking Korean and Jimin’s mother sang along fluently.

“What’s your name again?” She asked once the song was over. Another, more upbeat song started, and she increased the volume. “Jimin told me but I’m horrible with that sort of thing. I’m Na-Yeon, but Audrey works if it’s easier for you.”

I pulled a face, “Audrey?”

“It’s my American name. It’s easier for people to pronounce and more convenient. All of us have one. Jimin’s is Christian.”

It was odd to think about. A name that was mine but not mine. Christian did not suit Jimin, but I could imagine growing up with a name that other people made fun of would be difficult. Maybe even impossible. Still, I did not feel comfortable calling the woman Audrey. She did not seem to particularly care for the name and I did not want to alienate myself from their circle for convenience's sake.

Namjoon’s mother had been similar to Na-Yeon, always afraid her culture and customs would make me uncomfortable or burdened, but I managed to calm her fears and reassure her after years of showing up to Chuseok with a smile on my face and food in my hands.

“I like Na-Yeon,” I finally replied, voice small. “It’s nice. I’m Y/N.”

“I like Y/N,” She echoed back to me, making me grin. “It’s nice.”

It was a long drive filled with K-pop, ballads, and sporadic conversation. Na-Yeon was very funny. She sang along to every song, dancing as she went, and calling on me to sing alone. Of course, I could not speak Korean very well and hummed the melodies instead, but it appeased her. When she did speak to me it was to ask me questions about myself.

“You’re that swimmer, aren’t you?” She asked, sparing me a look once we stopped at a redlight. “The one everyone’s trying to beat.”

I shook my head, “At one time, sure, but not anymore. I’m retired.”

Squinting her eyes at me, Na-Yeon pursed her lips.

“We used to watch you. Haru called you a mermaid.”

That was not too much of a shock. Jimin was swimming at that time. While I am a few years older than him, he would have been in middle school when I went to my first Olympics. He had told me he joined the swim team the year before. He said that watching Michael Phelps win 6 gold medals changed his life forever, and I could not help but agree with him. I had a huge amount of respect for my fellow Olympian and wished him well in his retirement. What shocked me the most was the mention of Jimin’s little brother. The dead brother.

“That’s sweet,” I did not know what to say. “I felt like a mermaid back then. I’m not that good anymore but I still like to swim sometimes.”

“You were in an accident,” It was not a question. “We saw it all over the news. Couldn’t believe all of those people harassing your family like that. So sorry for your loss.”

It was strange to talk about it again. I appreciated her keeping it vague. I had gone through a tremendous amount of change and growth since then, but it was nice to hear someone else validate how crazy the media frenzy was. I would not wish it upon anyone, and I was happy her family was allowed to grieve in peace. Neither Namjoon’s nor my own were allowed that luxury.

“Thank you,” I replied. “I’m sorry about Haru. I can’t imagine what your family went through.”

She smiled sadly, “I think you can.”

We did not talk much after that. The music still played, Na-Yeon still sang, and I still hummed, but we did not ask any more questions. Neither one of us wanted to bring up those hurt feelings. It was not until we turned down a long, empty road that I realized I had yet to ask her about her cancer.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked.

“As good as I can,” She breathed. “My boys are both worriers so don’t take anything they say to heart. Bunch of hypochondriacs.”

And even though I laughed along with her, I knew that she was lying. They were not overreacting. She was sick, refusing treatments, and letting herself die. Anyone would be worried about her. Na-Yeon must dislike being taken care of. Well, I thought she would need to get used to it. I loved spoiling others.

“Eloise and the kids must be here,” She muttered to herself, pulling to a short driveway.

I did not know who Eloise was, but I would soon find that out. There were two cars parked out front. One was a simple, black Tahoe with a brightly colored steering wheel cover. The other was another vintage model. Painted a pretty light, muted green the truck was in pristine condition. It was an old Ford, the branding written across the tailgate, and a spare tire was bolted to the side. I asked Na-Yeon about it and she smiled happily.

“It’s Jimin’s,” I felt my heart rate increase. “He must’ve gotten back. Pretty thing, huh?”

I nodded, not really paying attention to the truck anymore. I was about to meet Jimin for the first time and my nerves were taking over. I knew how much his looks affected me over video chat and I was afraid I would not be able to control my facial expressions in person. I was resolute not to act on whatever attraction I may have felt toward him. My professionalism would not allow it. It did not mean, however, that I wanted to discuss it with Jimin at any point. It would make him uncomfortable and affect our working environment.

“Keep your bags in the car,” Na-Yeon told me. “Jimin’s going to take you over to meet the Andersons this afternoon.”

Walking up to the house, I was first struck by two things. The main one being the impressive teal it was painted and the other the loud talking and laughter coming from inside. It was odd. Thinking about my own parents I knew we had never been so happy. Mom had left when I was so young that I could hardly remember her, but I could recall the screaming and shouting. Dad was quiet after she left, spent most of his time locked away in the garage watching sports channels and leaving me to my own devices.

When I started swimming it helped for a time, but when I was old enough to leave, we spoke two or three times a year. After he met Danielle, his new wife, he stopped reaching out altogether. The accident had spooked him enough to warrant holiday and birthday calls for a time, but when he had another baby those slowly faded away. My half-sister and I had never met, Danielle did not like acknowledging that my dad had a child with another woman, and it seemed as though my dad was fine with how things turned out. I dealt with it.

The laughing echoed through the house, and I could hear loud foot-steps pitter pattering on the tile floors. The house smelled heavily of kimchi and lemons making my heart ache. Joon and I used to keep the windows open for days after his mother came over to make kimchi with him. We would squat on the floor for hours, laughing and talking. I missed those days more than I realized and I smiled involuntarily. For the first time in years, it felt like coming home.

“Sorry about the smell,” Na-Yeon whispered to me.

I shook my head and took my shoes off. “I love kimchi.”

She smiled brightly, her shoulders immediately relaxing. I was glad I had spent so much time with Namjoon and his family. Na-Yeon was someone who wanted to make others feel more comfortable even if it put her own peace at risk, but I would never ask her to change her routine for me. I loved learning about other people and her little house brought me more happiness than I thought possible.

“Sounds like we have company!”

A short, stocky man came into the living room. He was wearing a white polo shirt and khaki shorts; his hair was very short with silver streaks starting to take over the once very black strands. Catching sight of me he smiled.

“You must be Y/N,” The man said. “I’m James.”

His accent was much thicker than Na-Yeon’s and he introduced himself in his English name. He seemed much happier about it than his wife did, and I decided to go along with it. If he wanted me to call him James, then I would.

“Nice to meet you,” I replied, giving him a small bow.

His smile got even bigger somehow, and he returned the gesture. Na-Yeon chuckled beside me and started to speak to her husband in Korean. I picked up a few words and deduced that he was supposed to make sure I was going to get a nice lunch, and she wanted to know if he had taken care of it. He nodded and told her he had.

“Hungry?” James asked, Na-Yeon already disappearing into the house.

“Yes,” I quickly followed behind him.

“I made jjigae,” He frowned. “I can’t say it in English. Sorry.”

The house was small and warmly lit. Cream tile flooring, exposed wood beams, and white walls. Whatever loud conversation they had been having before I got here had died down, but the footsteps did not. I could hear children giggling somewhere in the little home and my curiosity peaked. I did not think they were Na-Yeon and James’s.

“I want to say it’s soup,” I kept my voice down not wanting to make him feel awkward. “Or stew, but I don’t think it matters that much.”

“What’s the difference?” James asked, just as amused as his wife at my vague knowledge of Korean words. “Soup and stew the same, no?”

I shrugged, “I have no clue. I’m a miserable cook.”

That made James laugh. We passed all of the rooms in the house, the kitchen, living room, and dining room all in the back of the house. As we passed the second room to the left, James said it had been Haru’s photography studio before he passed away, but they ended up converting it once Eloise gave birth. He did not say it out loud, but I had gathered the kids running around had been their youngest son’s. I did not know how old Haru had been when he died, but it was far too young to be having children. I was 31 and still felt ill equipped for the job.

It was a small kitchen with very simple and plain colors. The countertops were obviously laminate, but someone had taken the time to stick on a marble patterning to make it look nicer. Black appliances clashed with the chestnut cabinets. The tiles were no longer cream but hideous black and white checker printed that clashed heavily against the olive-green backsplash. While the rest of the house seemed to go through renovations at some point, I had a feeling the kitchen remained largely untouched.

Sitting at a small table on the other side of the room were Na-Yeon, Jimin, and a young woman. She was a cute girl, long brown hair and blue eyes, a large number of freckles across her cheeks. Her outfit was very modest, a pair of flowy cream pants and an equally flowy olive shirt. Her hair was tied back with a ribbon that matched her pants, and taking a closer look at her, she wore no makeup. A classic girl next door.

“Come sit,” Na-Yeon waved me over, her voice showing no room for argument. “Hyun-Soo is in charge of lunch.”

I was only briefly confused, the name completely unfamiliar, but by the time I sat down I was sure she was talking about James. It made sense for her to call him by his Korean name, and since I had shown no qualms about using their proper names, she saw no need to bring them up herself.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Jimin’s sweet voice reached me, and I smiled at the sound. “I hope getting here wasn’t too bad.”

He reached out to me, and I happily took his hand in my own. The skin was soft, perfectly smooth, and warm. It was over far too quickly but my displeasure was easily hidden. Andrea always complained about my poker face and how difficult it was to get past it. She said it was too good and thus refused to ever play poker with me again.

“It was nice,” I meant it. Na-Yeon was wonderful company.

“Hope the concert was nice.”

That made me and Eloise laugh. Na-Yeon smacked Jimin’s arm playfully, unable to keep the smile off her face, and the two began to bicker. Having them in the same room highlighted the differences I hadn't noticed before. Jimin’s nose was closer to his father’s, his eyes, too, and both of them had a slight lisp. Na-Yeon’s teeth were perfectly white and straight while one of Jimin’s front teeth was slightly chipped. Jimin had a dimple; his mother had none. Their English soon turned to digs in Korean and I could no longer follow. A few words here and there but nothing substantial. James joined them.

“Hi,” Eloise shyly greeted me, obviously used to being left out of conversations.

“Hey,” I replied lamely. “Eloise?”

She nodded, “Cam and Harper are playing but you’ll meet them in a bit.”

I nodded along and cemented the names into memory. It would look bad if I forgot them and kids had an ability to remember the worst things about a person. I did not want them to dislike me this quickly. Their giggles and feet were still going, and I suspected they had their own rooms on top of the little playroom in the hall.

“What do you do for work?” I asked Eloise, hoping my attempts at small talk were going over well. The other three were still chatting and I stopped paying attention long enough to be completely lost. Their dialect was different from Namjoon’s family, and I gave up entirely once they switched in and out of it with ease.

“I’m taking over Audrey’s restaurant,” Eloise, it seemed, preferred to use their American names. I wondered if she called Jimin ‘Christian.’ I really did not like the name for him. Not at all. “We used to be co-owners but she’s preparing for…” Eloise’s eyebrows scrunched together as she struggled to come up with a way to voice her thoughts, “her next steps. You know what I mean?”

I nodded. It was so easy to forget why I was really here when Na-Yeon was so full of life. She laughed and joked easily, sang off-key in the car without a care in the world, and called the shots at home. I had hardly noticed any sickness, but I knew better. I already figured out she hated being cared for and our trip in the car could have taken a lot of her. More than I realized.

Wanting to change the subject, I asked about the kids. Eloise was more than happy to talk about her little ones. Cameron and Harper were twins, names that she had originally been very against but when she lost Tony (Haru preferred his American name, Anthony, and all of his closest friends called him Tony), her opinions changed. Harper was the bigger, older baby, while her brother needed to stay in the NICU for a few days after birth due to his weight. They were joined at the hip and rarely seen without the other, something Eloise was happy about given she was usually too busy to spend as much time with them as she would have liked.

“How old are they?” I asked.

“Almost 4.”

Jimin was 19 then. I shuddered to think about how old Haru was, or Eloise for that matter when they became parents. When I was their age, I had been at the top of my game, though not what I would call my prime. If I had gotten pregnant my career would not have been over, but meeting Joon never would have happened. That was a travesty regardless of how things turned out. Trying to picture a life without him touching it made me physically ill and so I pushed any of those thoughts away.

Cam and Harper came out of their room when dinner was ready. They were both very cute, loud, and dressed identically. Harper’s hair was braided down her back while Cam’s was in a bowl cut, and I laughed every time the little girl made a big show about her sparkly red shoes.

James made a very spicy fish stew. It was delicious, so salty and hot, but I needed multiple glasses of water as I ate. He used red snapper adding a sweet, nutty flavor to the otherwise savory dish and I loved the zucchini. Like many Korean meals there was an array of side dishes surrounding the large pot of stew. Tonight was braised potatoes, steamed eggplant, a radish salad, and, of course, kimchi. A small bowl of rice was given to all of us to eat the stew with and the rice cooker was filled if any of us wanted more.

The Parks were a lovely family. Jimin was quiet and did not talk to me much but his mother more than made up for his silence. After getting all of the details about my coaching job she moved on to my life back in Colorado. We talked about my friends and what they were like, my house, and even my neighbors. Na-Yeon seemed particularly interested in Hoseok since Jimin had been such a fan of his growing up.

“You need to get her over to Calvin and Violet’s,” James told his son, scraping up the last bit of the soup out of his bowl. “They’re expecting her soon.”

Jimin looked at me, eyebrow raised, “Are you ready?”

I nodded, “We can leave whenever you’re done.”

He smiled and went back to eating his meal. Eloise left before I did, Cam was tired and Harper was bored without her playmate, so she decided it was time they went home. Cam liked an afternoon nap still, but his sister could run all day if you let her. Harper gave me a big bear hug before she left, something Na-Yeon said she did to everyone, and held her brother’s hand on their way out.

Na-Yeon eventually got up from the table, James followed after her, leaving Jimin and I alone. I did not know what to say, if he wanted me to say anything at all. He had hardly spoken to me since I arrived, and it left me feeling out of place. I was here for him, and he wanted nothing to do with me. He kept eating, the spice unfazed him, and getting bowl after bowl of rice.

Watching him walk around I was struck by how short he was. Most male swimmers were huge, well over 6 feet, and broadly built. Not Jimin. He could not be any taller than 5’9” with a thin, tiny waist. I could see defined muscles hidden underneath his white t-shirt, but nothing spectacular. Even his body was soft and elegant, moving gracefully and quietly, and absolutely none of it would give away that he was a world-class athlete. As if he could feel my eyes following him, Jimin’s eyes snapped to meet my own.

“Sorry,” He pulled his spoon from his mouth. “I’m sure you’d like to leave and here I am gorging myself.”

I stopped him before he could stand, “No, no. I’m fine. I was just thinking about your workout routine.”

The lie felt heavy on my tongue, but I could hear how natural it sounded. He sat back down and took another bite of his food. His workout regime was standard for most swimmers. Pull-ups, bench, squat, lunge, power cleans, power cleans to overhead press. After that he was in the pool for a few hours before going about his day. He usually added in another swim at the end of the day, but he had recently given it up to have dinner with his family.

“What are you doing for your core?” I asked.

“I stick to pull ups, crunches, thrusts, and back extensions.”

I nodded, frowning, gears in my head turning. I have always believed the core was the most important part of swimming. Arms as well, but I have seen many overwork those muscles and lose from weak turns. Hoseok used to joke about my performance and how I only won because of my turns. I would make sure he would be able to see a little bit of me in Jimin’s swimming. There was a reason I won gold.

“You don’t look very impressed.”

I chuckled, “Just thinking. You need more variety than that.”

“Gym snob, are we?” His mouth stretched into a playful smirk, and I could not help but smile back. “You must be an animal in there.”

“I don’t work out like I used to,” I admitted, averting my eyes. “Most of my exercises are yoga and running now. I swim twice a week.”

I was hoping to get back in the pool more often, but I was not sure I was ready for the disappointment that would follow. My sessions with Emery were simple, exercise-focused, and had little to no expectations behind them. They were there to help me gain strength and confidence in myself. Saturdays were spent with Hoseok doing laps around the pool and shooting the shit. It was just enough to get your heart pumping but never went past that.

Failing was daunting. I could not remember a time before swimming consumed my life. My dad always said I was afraid of the water; it was the biggest reason he placed me in lessons. He did not have the time (nor patience) to teach me himself, and after I saw younger children getting into the pool I was determined to act like a “big girl.” I was only three at the time, so the memory was lost to time, but I went every week after that. It gave my dad a break and I had friends for the first time. I learned later that mom had left for a few months and dad was drinking again, but at the time all I knew was that I liked swimming, and I was good at it.

It was frightening to believe that all of the time, energy, and hard work went to waste. 30 seconds. That was all it took to destroy my life. 30 seconds and all of my joy, love, and happiness was gone. My career, my health, and my Joon. I hated the man who hit us. Hated the way his family cried for me. For him. For Joon. Squeeze my hands into fists, I was glad they were hidden underneath the table. Getting in the water and realizing it was truly over would only make that hatred worsen, and my therapist told me I needed to let go of my anger.

“Violet and Calvin are excited to meet you,” I did not know if Jimin could see something in his face, perhaps my eyes, but he changed the subject. The look on his face made me feel exposed. “We should get going.”

No one was around when I left so I did not get to say goodbye, but Jimin yelled that we were leaving. We did not get a response and I wondered if his mother had actually gone to do laundry or take a nap. She looked tired when she left the table. Jimin told me to get into the truck and laughed when I said I could grab my own bags.

“Your hip might give out, granny.”

Off guard, a strange, loud noise came out of my mouth. He had yet to start up our playful banter and my heart soared. Jimin was a very cheeky man, his tongue sharp, and with a quick snapback time, he was difficult to take down. Our text exchanges were always brief and about work, but he managed to squeeze in at least one teasing comment about my age. He said calling him ‘kiddo’ is what started the whole thing.

“Just get in the truck,” He sighed melodramatically, rolling his eyes.

Huffing, I went across the lawn and got into the unlocked truck on the curb. The interior was just as refurbished as the exterior. The bench was covered in a dark green vinyl, and I could tell the rubber carpet mats were new. It smelled much better in Jimin’s truck. Less like cigarettes and more like the cologne he wore. It was floral, powdery, but with a subtle spice that made it bitter-sweet. It had a nice scent. It suited a man like Jimin whose own spice was buried underneath his pretty visage.

Watching him jog across the yard, I suppressed a sigh. It was easier to ignore how pretty he was when we were around other people. Now it felt impossible. His clothes stuck to him like a second skin, the black leather pants (which I had only just noticed were leather) making his thighs bulge and accentuating his backside. He was gorgeous and I felt sorry that I would have to keep it to myself. Jimin deserved to be told things like that, but it was not my place to do so. Not as a coach, trainer, or otherwise.

He tossed my things into the cab of the truck as if they weighed nothing. Arms lifted; his shirt rose revealing a delicious patch of skin. Watching him in the rearview mirror, I swallowed audibly. A thin, almost nonexistent patch of hair touched his belly button. Forcing myself to look away, I took a few deep breaths.

This trip was going to be long. Very, very long.

The drive down the road was quiet. Jimin’s radio was out, and he needed to replace it, so music was not an option, and he did not seem to want to fill the space between us. Neither did I. My growing bashfulness around him was distracting and strange. I had always been surrounded by attractive men, all of my friends back home were very good looking, but none affected me in the same way Jimin had. Perhaps it was due to my relationship with Namjoon that made all of the other men pale in comparison, but I could never know for sure. Either way, it was incredibly frustrating.

We drove for less than ten minutes. Calvin and Violet were the elderly couple renting out the small house in their backyard. Jimin had spoken to them for me, and they were all too willing to help me out. Violet nearly cried when I told her I was going to pay all of my rent up front, and actually did when I told her that I would help her fix up some things around the house while I was in town. The Andersons seemed like lovely people, and I was happy to know them.

Pulling up to the house I smiled. It was exactly how I imagined it would be. The Anderson house was a simple, All-American home with a front porch. The window trimming was black, house white, and a beautiful garden wrapped around the front at either side. The roof and front door were the same color green as Jimin’s truck, and it helped the otherwise unnoteworthy home feel more inviting. Sitting on the porch swing was Violet, her silver hair braided down her shoulder.

“Before we get out,” Jimin mumbled, waving at Violet through my window. The old woman waved back, a large smile on her face making her look twenty years younger. “The Andersons are great people, but Calvin’s starting to forget stuff. Violet won’t admit it but it’s getting hard on her to deal with him. He can become very angry so keep an ear out. Last time he had an episode, Violet called my dad crying. She’s not handling it well.”

I frowned, my heart hurting, “Sure thing. I’ll let you know if anything happens.”

“Thanks.”

He was out of the car a few seconds later, voice so sweet and bubbly you would have never guessed what we had been talking about. Staring after him, my eyes squinted. I would have to keep my eye on him. Jimin was a great actor.

Getting out of the truck, I took out my bags and slung my duffle on my back. Jimin was quick to take my suitcase away once he caught me in the corner of his eye. Violet seemed positively giddy about it and made a few inappropriate comments about Jimin needing to settle down.

“I’m just saying,” She laughed when Jimin scoffed, face flushing the prettiest shade of pink. “You’re going to make a young woman very happy. Might as well get started.”

It was strange to think about my trainee seeing someone. He had made it very clear in his interviews over the years that his dating life was on hold until he was finished swimming. He did not want the added distraction and his family life was far too chaotic for him to focus on someone. This did not seem to deter Violet and her comments about his love life, or lack thereof, continued until we got inside of the house.

“Well,” Violet acknowledged me for the first time since I arrived, “This is the main house. It’s not much but it’ll work. Christian, take her stuff out back.”

I cringed. It really did not suit Jimin at all, but he seemed completely unfazed. Violet used his names interchangeably, sometimes calling him Jimin and other times Christian, but his English name rolled off her tongue more often than not. I wondered why she even bothered calling him Jimin at all. He did not seem to care either way.

Looking around the little house, I was pleasantly surprised by how clean it all was. The floors were carpeted and the walls a bright white, family photos hung up alongside landscape paintings. During my two-hour phone call with Violet, the woman talked my ear off, she bragged about Calvin’s art. I had to admit they were all very beautiful and I wanted to know where he had found all of the slices of heaven he captured. I hoped the places themselves were more colorful than he depicted. The muted washes of color made them blend in with the rest of the boring house even with how nice they were.

The furniture was just as boring as the house itself. All of it was cream or beige, nothing of importance really stuck out to me, and I was disappointed. All I could figure out about the couple was one was an artist and they had children and grandchildren they loved displaying. Even the smell of the house lacked character. No air freshener, no food, and no perfumes. Nothing to give away that people actually lived here. The Anderson home was a foil to the Park’s in every way.

“Come on out back,” Violet was already across the house, standing in front of a door beside the kitchen. “This is the utility room. You can do your laundry here.”

Following behind her, I felt even more depressed looking at her kitchen. It was nice, new appliances and a pretty coffee station on the corner closest to the utility room door, but it was bland. All white cabinets, white marble countertops, and stainless steel everything. Even the curtains hanging around the windows above the sink were dreadfully plain.

The utility room, like everything else, was plain. The washer and dryer were white, the floor concrete, and the shelving barebones. The detergent was the most colorful thing I saw since arriving. Somehow even this room smelled like absolutely nothing. Directly across from the door we entered was the backdoor and Violet told me where they would hide a key for me to be able to get inside.

“Ready to see it?” She asked, smiling politely.

I nodded, “Thanks again for renting it out to me.”

She chuckled, “No thanks needed. You were paying, that was enough for me to say yes.”

The back porch was tiny, just barely big enough for the both of us to stand on. There was a small vegetable garden along the side of the house, but it was empty. Noticing my wandering eyes, Violet told me all about the turnips and gourds she had been planting this season. She had watermelon and tomatoes in the summer, but they were long gone. The rest of the yard was taken up by my home for the next few months.

It was small, but that was to be expected. What disappointed me, though I should have not been very surprised, was how white it was. The windows were a dark gray, a small porch was set up with enough room for one of those hanging egg chairs, and two built-in planters. They were empty and Violet told me I was welcome to give gardening a chance if I was interested. She was planning on growing some flowers eventually, but she was not sure what she wanted.

The front door was open, Jimin already inside, and Violet and I went in. There was a small entryway, two doors leading to rooms I would explore later, and a small shoe rack. I took mine off and put them up. Violet watched me and took hers off as well.

“Audrey told me I should put one in here,” I was learning that Violet enjoyed meaningless small talk. “Glad I did. Don’t think Christian took his shoes off, though.”

I shrugged, “No biggie. I was going to clean up around here anyway.”

The house opened up to my right and I was happy with the space. I had a fully functional kitchen and enough space for my coffee cabinet along the wall. The living room would be able to fit a small loveseat, television, and coffee table. It was white and plain, but I was very happy with the floors. Whoever picked out the dark vinyl flooring must have had me in mind. I would go crazy if this place was as sterile as the Andersons’.

“I put your stuff in your room.”

Turning I grinned at Jimin. It was sweet of him to help me out. I was going to pick up my car tomorrow morning and he had volunteered to drive me. We would be starting our training next week so I could have some time to settle in. All of my furniture was arriving either tomorrow or the day after and my hands would be full. I was counting on Jimin and his friends to help me unpack. His manager was going to make himself known as well, but would not be staying for long. Apparently, according to Jimin, Sejin was not one to get his hands dirty.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll let you get settled in,” Violet was already scratching to leave, and I wondered why. She had been very hospitable over the phone. “You’re welcome to join us for dinner. Calvin is going to bring the air mattress out here tonight, so you have someplace to sleep.”

With a kiss on Jimin’s cheek, Violet slipped on her flats and left. Alone with Jimin again, I found it hard to speak. We were much better over text. Looking just as lost as I was, Jimin scratched the back of his neck and looked down.

“My, uh, my mom offered you her couch if you want it,” He stuttered, his face turning red. “Or, uh, um, you can take the spare room at my place,” He let out a huge gust of wind. “It’s a bit of a drive but I do have the space.”

Flustered, I quickly declined, “Thanks but I’ll be fine here.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jimin shook his head, the redness spreading down his neck. “For sure. Totally.”

The air was awkward now and I could not figure out how to fix it. Jimin was the one always breaking the ice between us, and now that he was acting like this I was stranded at sea. Even when he warned me he was more reserved in person I had not expected this. He was so quiet and skittish. How was I supposed to work with him if I could not get the courage to speak?

“Thanks for the offer,” I cleared my throat. “Are you staying for dinner?”

He shook his head, “I promised Jungkook we’d go out tonight. Any other time I’d say yes.”

I asked my disappointment. The thought of spending time with Violet and Calvin alone made me deeply uncomfortable. Their house felt like a hospital room and her weird behavior was unsettling. I could only hope Calvin was nicer but from what Jimin said he was a ticking time bomb. It would be nice to have someone act as a buffer.

“Why was she acting so strangely?” I asked, hoping Jimin had picked up on it as well. “It was like a totally different person.”

He frowned, “I think she’s just on edge since Calvin went to the doctor’s today. Their daughter took him, and she hasn’t heard anything. She’s a sweet woman, don’t worry.”

Now I felt like an asshole.

“That’s understandable,” I murmured. “Do you think she’ll be upset if I order food for all of us? If she’s stressed out, I don’t want her feeling like she has to cook for me.”

Jimin smiled, “She would appreciate it. I’ll go talk to her, how does that sound?”

I nodded, grateful. “That would be nice. The house gives me the creeps.”

That made him laugh, “What? Why?”

I shrugged, giggling with him.

“Feels like a funeral home or something. I hate the minimalist aesthetic.”

Jimin bit his lip, “You’d probably hate my place, too, then.”

I chuckled. It was easy to imagine Jimin inside of a huge modern house, dark wood and barely anything in it. He was a single man, busy, and spent so much time at his parent’s house it did not matter what he had inside of his own place. Not wanting to make him self conscious, I bit my tongue.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

He cocked his head to the side, and I laughed.

“Fine,” I conceded. “I would probably dislike it, but I don’t think it looks like a white padded cell.”

I may have been exaggerating a bit, but it was not that far off from how the Anderson home looked to me. I hoped by asking me to help fix up a few things, Violet meant giving the house a much-needed makeover. If I was lucky, I might be able to convince her to get a few throw pillows to break up the monotony.

“Jeez,” Jimin laughed. “Harsh critic.”

“Well, is it?” I joked, glad to have found our footing again.

“No,” He shook his head in thought. “It’s mostly gray and black, but still just as empty. Probably emptier, honestly. I don’t have as many pictures as Violet does.”

Smirking, he snapped his fingers, “My trophy room is pretty colorful. I have a lot of pictures and shit in there.”

That made me smile. I was not bringing any of my memorabilia here, but it was nice to hear him sound so proud of himself. I kept most of my competition stuff in my basement, a large China cabinet displaying all of my awards. My favorite had to be the small, cheaply made trophy sat at the very top. It was beside my Olympic medals, worn and dull beside the beautiful necklaces, but I loved it all the same.

It was the first trophy I ever won. I was seven and my dad convinced me to sign up for a swimming competition my swim class was hosting. He promised to come. I practiced a lot preparing for it and made use of the new above ground pool my dad had bought. I won the race. My own joy and happiness made me forget that he never showed up until it was time to go home. I had to wait with my coach for two hours, and by the end of it she felt so bad for me she took me out for ice cream. Dad never apologized, I don’t even think he acknowledged that I won at all, and I never tried to bring it up again. Still, I loved that stupid thing. It was the reason I wanted to compete. That little pocket of happiness between winning and realizing that no one cared was precious to me and I held onto it.

“I need to get going,” Jimin sighed, reaching into his back pocket and snapping me out of my thoughts. “Jungkook’s blowing up my phone. Just got broken up with and needs a drinking buddy.”

I sucked in air through my teeth, “Well, your services are needed. Don’t let me hold you up.”

Jimin smiled at me, “See you tomorrow, yeah?”

I nodded, “See you.”

He lingered in the entryway for a moment more before shaking out of whatever trance he had been in. Slipping his converse back on, Jimin waved at me before walking outside. His face was buried in his phone, so he never saw me wave back. He shut the door, the sound echoing in the empty house, and I was once again left alone.

Violet came out a few minutes later to discuss take out until we finally landed on pizza. She never said thank you, but her offer to give the tip since I was paying was more than enough. Then later when a few of my boxes came in early she happily carried them to me. She even helped me put everything away. When Calvin came home, she led me back inside and said with so much affection it made my heart melt.

"Calvin, this is Y/N. Sweetest woman I ever did meet. Bought us dinner."

Calvin reminded me of Namjoon in a way. His soft eyes and gentle voice. He took my hand when I introduced myself, his hands cold and soft. Wrinkles and sunspots went up the length of his arms.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," He said.

"Likewise," I replied.

We ate in silence, the three of us watching Jeopardy on the sofa. Even though I had been nervous about eating inside, Calvin's presence warmed the place up. Once a prison now felt like a poorly decorated home. A home filled with love.

As I watched them together, Calvin reaching out for Violet's hand and her giving it to him without question, I felt myself getting choked up. There had been a time I had that. Joon would be on the floor, book in his lap, while my hands were in his hair as I studied my training tapes.

I left early that night. I blew up the mattress, the house quiet, before sending out a few texts to my friends to let them know I was getting on alright. After that, I put on nature sounds to help me drift off to sleep. I had not felt this lonely in a very long time.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio

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alliewritesthings · 9 months ago

Text

papers - pt 6

Pairing: Dad!Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: angst, mentions of divorce, mentions of cheating. if ive missed anything please let me know!

A/N: two years later and im backkkkkk. she's back to finish what she started 🤓 this took me way too long, and also makes me sad that it's finally finished. just wanted to give a shoutout to my bestie while im here because we actually met because she stumbled across my shitty little blog a few years ago, shes consistently gone on at me for years about finishing this series and i probs wouldnt have finished it if it wasn't for her 🥲 also this gif felt relevevant as we lay papers to rest with a "night night" 🤍

series masterlist | main masterlist

Considering you’d found out you was pregnant three months into the pregnancy, the time flew quickly. Baby girl Evans was due 13th June, but decided she didn’t want to share a birthday with her daddy.

At 5:15am on Saturday 9th June, Penelope Evans decided to make an appearance. Unfortunately for you, this was the weekend that Chris made a short trip back to Boston to have some well-earned birthday celebrations with his family. You’d decided that for multiple reasons, including being close to your own family, that you wanted to spend the rest of your pregnancy in London so returning to your family home in Boston wasn’t an option.

Chris missed the entire birth of his second child, the event being unknown to him as his phone had died early on during his night out with old friends. Baby Penny was over twelve hours old when Chris finally received the news of his newborn child. A baby girl. News that brought the man to tears; he loved being a girl dad.

But that was just over a month ago, baby Penny was quickly approaching seven weeks old. And Chris had spent every waking moment with both his young daughters. Summer was rolling in and Olivia had just finished her last week at school in London. It was two weeks until you packed up and once again moved your little family of four back to the USA. You’d made an agreement with Chris that your London apartment wasn’t to be sold and would instead be used by your family on your regularly planned visits. This luckily meant for you that there wasn’t much packing that needed to be done, only the essentials you’d need when you returned to your family home. You’d forever be grateful that you didn’t need to pack up the whole apartment with two little ones in tow.

Penelope Evans was your perfect little secret for the first 5 weeks of her life, allowing yourself time to settle in being a parent of two. Being cooped up in your apartment from the day Penny was brought home from the hospital, both Chris and your parents taking it in turns to do the school run for Olivia. Of course, the rumour that Baby Evans was born spread when you weren’t spotted in public for weeks, but you were in your perfect newborn bubble. But you wanted to be present for Olivia’s last days in British school, so you made the effort to leave the house and walk the youngster to school every morning and watch her skip alongside her baby sister's buggy.

It was 9pm, the evenings being the main time you got some silence in the little London apartment. Chris was perched on your shared bed, scrolling through his phone and replying to emails. You were sat on the carpeted floor, one leg outstretched and gently rocking the moses basket with your foot while you packed some of your newborn's clothes into one of the few suitcases dotted around the room. Both your daughters fast asleep in their respective beds.

Your phone vibrated on the carpet next to you, ignoring it as you expected it to be Chris sending you something he’d seen on Instagram. You hummed quietly to yourself as you carefully folded clothes and placed them inside the case, your foot still gently rocking the moses basket. It wasn’t until your phone vibrated another two times that you curiously peeked down at the screen; your eyebrows furrowed as you noticed multiple Facebook messages from an old friend of yours that you’d not spoken to in years.

I’m so sorry but I thought you should see this. One of the messages read, follow by a Sent a Photo and a link. You tilted your head in curiosity as you opened the messages, the link and screenshotted news article headline referencing the birth of your child and Chris’s whereabouts at the time.

It wasn’t until you read further into the article that silence fell over the room, your humming coming to a sudden halt and your foot stopped pressing against the bassinet. Evans night out during birth of second child. Underneath the headline a picture of the alleged ‘Sarah’ from the previous cheating rumours that almost ruined your marriage a year ago. Chris had his arm wrapped around her shoulder as they sat in a booth in the corner of what seemed like a club, both leaning in closely and talking quietly amongst themselves.

Recent discoveries show that Evans’ second child, a baby girl, was born on Sunday 9th June in the early hours of the morning. During this time Evans’ was in Boston on a night out with friends celebrating his approaching birthday, understood to also be his child’s due date. Evans has two children with his British wife. Rumours spread last summer of acts of infidelity within the marriage, however this did not seem to break the couple as they reunited and introduced their second child.

Updates as they come. The article stated.

You were speechless at the article, unsure how to process it as you placed your phone back on the carpet and focused back onto packing the suitcase in front of you. Was that even Chris in the photo? It was slightly blurry, and of course the club was dark. But you could pick Chris out of a crowd in an instant, and that certainly looked like the woman from previous photos.

“You okay?” Chris questioned, peeking over his phone to look down at you.

“Mhm.” You mumbled in response, a sigh leaving your lips as you picked up one of your favourite newborn onesies. Penny had grown out of it at this point, but you wouldn’t dispose of it; the onesie was Penelope’s first outfit, her coming home outfit. The same onesie that Olivia wore home when she returned from hospital. The neutral onesie with little Winnie The Pooh drawings printed across it. It almost made you cry at the thought of the perfect little family you once had, and could have continued to have.

You closed your eyes and brought the onesie to your nose, taking a deep breath as you took in the scent of the laundry detergent you often used on your children's clothes, the milky honey scent filling your nostrils comforted you.

Your phone vibrated next to you again, you’d turned on notifications for updates to the article. You were unsure if you wanted to return to read the update, a knot formed in your stomach and you began to fill sick. You laid the onesie on your lap as you reached again for your phone, following your gut feeling and reopening the article.

UPDATE

Recent investigations show the woman believed to be Sarah Jenkins, a 35-year-old from Atlanta. This is the second time she has publicly been spotted with actor Chris Evans. Sarah, who is public on most social media accounts, has a one-year-old child with an unknown father. Sources believe that Evans could be the father of the child.

“Hey, what’s up?” Chris questioned, worry filling his face as he moved to sit next to you on the floor as he watched your face completely drain of all colour.

“I’m going to be sick.” You mumbled, quickly pushing yourself to your feet and away from Chris. You almost tripped over the suitcase and other items scattered across the floor as you made a beeline for the bathroom, dropping to your knees as you leaned over the porcelain toilet and threw up the contents of your stomach.

“Hey. It’s okay.” Chris followed you, kneeling down to hold your hair out your face and rub your back.

“Get away from me!” You almost shouted, tears beginning to fill your eyes as you withdraw from any contact from the man. “How could you?!” You cried.

“What?!” Chris questioned; his brows furrowed as he stared at you in shock.

Oh boy was he a good actor.

“Don’t you dare fucking lie to me again!” You bit back with gritted teeth. “How could you do that to me?! How could you do that to our poor innocent Olivia?!” The sadness fell over your eyes, the tears falling down your cheeks at the thought of your two precious girls who got hurt in the process. How as you going to explain this to them? How was you going to tell Olivia that her daddy was the reason the family fell apart?

“How could you?!” You repeated again, a sob getting caught in your throat. “How could you cheat?! How could you have a child with another woman and simply act like its nothing?!” A loud wail tumbled from your lips as you pulled yourself back to the toilet and vomited some more.

“I’m sorry.” Chris accepted defeat. That was all the conformation you needed. He should have known that after some time the news would come out.

“You’re sorry?!” You looked at him in complete shock, bringing the back of your hand up to wipe at your mouth. “You think that's going to take all this away?” You truly were stunned that he was acting like this wasn’t as large a crime as it was.

“His name is Theodore. Theo.” He mumbled, pushing himself to his feet as the tears started to fill in his eyes. The realisation was beginning to hit of what he’d done. How much he’d hurt his wife, and would shortly hurt his two precious daughters too. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“You didn’t mean for this to happen?!” Your voice raised in complete disbelief at his words. “You didn’t mean to spend time with another woman? Didn’t mean to fall into bed with her? Didn’t mean to have a child with her? Didn’t mean to continue seeing her, even when the child wasn’t present. You lied to me! You lied and then played me into thinking everything was okay, we had another child!” You screamed, it was all beginning to boil over and push you to the edge.

Multiple instances flashed through your mind; like Christmas, Chris had no work on the lead up to Christmas, but yet he couldn’t be in London until the twenty third of December. He claimed he had commitments to his family. He missed the birth of your child for a night out on his birthday, yet the only photo you’ve seen from the night is the previously posted photo with ‘Sarah’. He missed out on time with yourself, and your growing family, major events like the birth of his second, well technically third, child. You weren’t as big a priority as it was made out to be.

A loud screaming cry came from your bedroom, your almost two-month-old child awakening due to the loud noises flowing through the apartment.

“Get out.” You bit through gritted teeth, pushing yourself to your feet as you prioritised getting to your small baby girl crying out in need. You cradled her in your arms, cuddling her close as you tried to compose yourself, holding the little baby so tight as you rocked her back and forth but her crying wouldn’t stop.

“Get away from me.” You almost growled at Chris as he approached you in the bedroom, your hold becoming more protective of your sweet innocent child.

“Please, let me explain.” Chris tried to speak over the sound of the screaming baby which you continued to rock.

“Explain what, Chris?!” You turned to look at him, tears streaming down your face which matched the face of the distraught newborn. “There is nothing to explain.” You were starting to get overwhelmed with the situation, the screaming of the baby, the cheating man stood in front of you trying to talk his way out of his sins.

“Mummy?” A little voice spoke from the door. “Daddy?” The small child stood at the door, her fists rubbing at her tired eyes and chubby cheeks. “Is Penny okay? Mummy, are you okay?” she questioned, unsure what all the noise was about. Her tired eyes adjusted as she looked between you and her father, the upset visible on both your faces as well as her newborn sister.

“Penny’s okay, princess.” Chris spoke up, turning to speak properly to his eldest daughter. He couldn’t comment on how you felt, and he didn’t want to lie to his daughter again. “Mummys got her. Let's get you back to bed.” He hummed, leading the little girl out of the room as he tried to compose himself. In that moment, you had to admit you was grateful for Chris stepping up for his eldest child.

A few moments passed until you heard Olivia’s bedroom door closing, you’d managed to compose yourself to a certain extent but also calm Penelope down enough that she’d fallen back to sleep and was once again nestled in her basket.

“I want you gone. You can collect your things during the week, my parents will be here to deal with it. You won’t see the girls. We’re not coming back to Boston.” You rambled out the words that you’d been planning in your head.

“Babe, please!” He tried to beg, stepping closer to where you were perched on the edge of the bed and looking down at the newborn in her basket.

“Don’t call me babe. You won’t see the girls until a plan has been made. You’ll leave tonight.” You sighed, defeated.

“My solicitor will be in contact to get the papers signed.”

thank you again for reading, i hope you enjoyed!!!

it's finally finished!!! 🎉

#chris evans #chris x reader #chris evans fanfic #dad!chris #chris evans x reader #papers fic

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arpad-shitposting · 13 days ago

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BONUS POLL: Slavs of the Carpathian Basin don't have their own blog, so what the hell

(Pictured: goddamned Proglas, if you know you know)

Happy Cyril and Methodius day to those who celebrate! Admin doesn't; fathers of Church Slavonic and forebearers of the Cyrillic script are certainly important historical figures, just not for the Latin Christian, Latin script using Slovaks, when you really get down to it. That said, it does give us the opportunity to have a moment of silence for Great Moravia, whose remnants did play a certain role in the creation of the Kingdom of Hungary (though details are murky and much disputed). After all, it wouldn't be duchess of Nyitra if she didn't remind everyone that while most of the historical figures we discuss here spoke mostly Hungarian and Latin, local Slavic population certainly didn't magically disappear after the battle of Bratislava (which you know, because it's called battle of Bratislava, now the Slovak capital).

Anyhow! Enough yapping, now to the main event. As you might know, this blog used to be dedicated to finding the Best Ruler of Hungary (Before Mohács). Well, we'd make just such a tournament for the rulers of Slavs of the Carpathian Basin, but unfortunately, there just weren't enough rulers of Samo's Empire, Principality of Nitra and Great Moravia together for a whole tournament, so the poor guys have to be relegated to a bonus poll. So that's what we are going to make.

In the grand tradition of arpad-shitposting bonus polls, we start with a roll call of our contestants, for those who might not be as familiar with the pre-Magyar history of the Carpathian Basin:

Samo - He's pretty fucking hilarious when you really think about it. A local Frankish merchant, who just happened to be in the area at the time, either hears that local Slavs are plotting an uprising against the Avars, or organizes said uprising himself despite (to our knowledge) not being Slavic, wins so hard he establishes his own tribal confederation, kicks the ass of his former sovereign at Wogastisburg, wherever the fuck that is, spends the rest of his life as a pagan with a harem of wives, then he dies and his confederation implodes for unknown reasons (either due to infighting or successful Avar offensive, possibly both). It's possible there is some context we are missing, and ultimately Germanic-speaking merchants establishing themselves as leaders of a Slavic-speaking tribal confederation isn't completely unheard of elsewhere, but like... Varangians were a whole ass class of people. This was just one random dude (though admittedly there is a lot of context we are missing). Anyway, he founded the first known Slavic polity ever, so that's gotta count for something.

Pribina - We know even less about this dude than about Samo, and what we do know makes him sound a lot less impressive. Basically, he was a Christian ruler of Principality of Nitra, with its seat in, where else, Nitra, where he also built a nice little church, untill he was kicked out by Mojmír I. of Great Moravia. Where did he come from? The heck I know. Where did he go? Actually, we do know that, he fled south and founded himself a nice little principality around Balaton, which survived him for at least a little bit (as it was inherited by his son Koceľ). Otherwise, he and his principality are a big damn mystery.

Mojmír I. - Another one we don't know much about, other than that he's the first known (though probably not the first period) ruler of Great Moravia, he was a successful conqueror, he might've been Christian (though it's not certain), he paid tribute to the Franks and meddled in Frankish politics, provoking an intervention from the Frankish king, who then placed Rastislav on the throne.

Rastislav - We don't know his exact relation to Rastislav, though some sources suggest he was Mojmír's nephew. As mentioned, he owed his throne to the Franks, and didn't like it one bit, hence his decision to spread Christianity with the help of Byzantine missionaries as a counterweight to the already present Frankish ones. He led repeated wars against the Franks, which eventually led to his replacement by Svätopluk (who proceeded to stab his nominal feudal lords in the back) and death in Frankish prison. For the whole Cyril and Methodius business, he was canonized by the Czech and Slovak Orthodox Church, meaning he fits in nicely with the many Árpáds who were also canonized (although by the Catholic Church).

Svätopluk - The man. The myth. The bastard. Not a king in practice (whatever the fuck that stupid statue by the Bratislava Castle claims), but he is the king of our hearts. He used Franks' dissatisfaction with Rastislav's independent streak to overthrow his uncle, then proceeded to develop an independent streak of his own. He was imprisoned by them, then released in order to stamp out a rebellion of Moravian Slavs subjugated by the Franks, promptly turning against Franks as soon as he managed to contact said rebels. He also kicked out Methodius and his Slavic-preaching heretics and became the reason (well, he and our boy Stephen I., but details) Slovaks are traditionally Latin Christian. He also expanded the territory of Great Moravia and established a Frankish-style court, moving towards becoming what Stephen I. eventually became for the Magyars. Unfortunately, the empire he built wouldn't outlast him, since a civil war seemed to have wrecked the Great Moravia as soon as he died, and by the time of the battle of Bratislava, it didn't even exist as a unified polity. Still, he did go down in history as the cuntiest monarch in Central Europe untill Sigismund of Luxembourg.

#bonus polls #slovakia #ťumbľr #čumblr #history

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greenlightbulbonawire · 2 months ago

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Hurt (Golden guard x reader)

Authors note: Soo... It's been a while huh chat? Don't worry, I haven't died nor have I given up on Misfits, I just have a lot of things on my plate right now and am not able to fit writing into it. But I shall return one day and fulfill my prophecy! In the meantime, let me present to you a revamped version of one of my older fics. Word count: 3.5k Estimate of reading time: 11 minutes Old version of this fic (you have been warned) Blog masterlist

You slipped out of the throne room through the crack in the giant door. Blood trickled down your hand and your walk was unsteady. When the Emperor was met with the information that you hadn’t managed to complete your last mission, his anger answered for him and now you had to face the consequences. Tears quietly rolled down your face accompanied by the red liquid from your nose bleed, luckily, the mask prevented anyone else from noticing them. You couldn’t look weak in front of the other scouts, being one of the higher ups and all, you simply couldn’t afford it.

As you limped through the halls of the castle, the walls were your only source of stability. All you wanted to do was to curl up into a ball in the safety of your bed and sleep until the pain washed away, but, as always, the titan had other plans for you. About halfway to your quarters, in all his glory, the Golden guard, and also the last person you wanted to see right now, was walking in the opposite direction from you, and you could already feel how ready he was to take advantage of this set up and start picking on you, just like he always did.

“Look at that, someone must’ve failed their mission. Such a shame, I honestly thought you were supposed to match my skills. Oh well I’m guessing the Emperor was mistaken.”

The boy began to mock you, but to his surprise, you didn’t fire any insults back at him. You ignored his words and continued to limp in the direction of your room, determined to get there as soon as possible.

“Not feeling talkative? No surprise, you must be soooo embarrassed. I’d be too if I were you, I mean c’mon, how can you fail a mission like that. What was it again..?” He continued to try and get a reaction out of you, and even though you wanted to tell him to shut up and get a move on, you were too tired to be wasting energy on such a petty thing.

A sigh escaped your lips as you looked down at your blood soaked cape. The Golden guard finally passed you and continued to walk to wherever he was heading. Iron scent was continuously filling your mask due to the nosebleed and it was getting less bearable with each passing second. Suddenly, the world spun and you lost what little balance you had. With a loud thud you landed onto the hard ground and let out a hiss, the pain from the fall only adding to what you were already experiencing. You could hear the boy stop in his tracks and turn back, before the sound of rapid footsteps registered in your brain. Slight panic spread throughout your body and you tried your best to get up before he could actually reach you, only to fall again, more tears spilling out of your eyes.

C’mon, get up! You prepared yourself for another attempt, but before you could actually try, a hand was placed onto your shoulder, making you freeze at the contact and remain in the position you were in.

“You good?”

He asked you, which was something completely unexpected, coming from your sworn rival. Even his one was somehow different from his usual, prickly and condescending one.

“I’m… I’m fine.”

You said, trying to sound as sure of yourself as possible, hoping and praying that he’d leave you alone.

The uninjured arm that was clutching onto your bleeding one, let go of it and you placed both of your palms onto the ground. With a lot of effort and through gritted teeth you pushed yourself up, which did hurt like hell, but was still better than looking like a weakling in front of the Golden guard himself. You finally stood back on both of your feet, slamming the side of you body into the wall for support and slowly limping away again.

The boy took one short, judgemental look at you and shook his head in disapprovement.

“I can cleary see that you’re not. Put your pride aside and let me help stupid.” You stopped for a moment, staring at the ground in front of you, contemplating your choices, then you let out a defeated sigh and nodded. The Golden guard quickly closed the small distance between you two, grabbing your good arm and putting it over his shoulders, securing it in place with his hand, while he put his other arm around your waist, helping you keep your balance.

“I have some healing potions back in my room, I’m taking you there.”

Normally, you’d retort back, saying something in the sense of ‘how about no?’ but this time, you stayed quiet, shut your eyes tight and just let the boy half-carry you to his room. You barely spoke with each other during the walk to his room, both of you staying quiet and the only thing that broke it from time to time were you muffled sobs. Although you tried your best to hide them, you couldn’t silence them fully, no matter how hard you tried. The boy obviously noticed them, he had to, since you were right next to him, however, he didn’t call any attention to then and kept quiet, trying to not make things more awkward for you. In the end, you were being carried by your sworn rival, if he were in your place, he’d definitely feel awkward.

The doors creaked as the boy opened then when you two finally reached his room, after that painfully unpleasant walk. Your eyes searched over his room, not wanting to waste what was probably going to be your only opportunity to take a proper look at it, and you tried your best to take in every possible detail. It was a little messy, that’s for sure, yet at the same time, it also felt somewhat cozy for some unexplained reason. He sat you on his bed and let go of you, turning his attention to some cabined near his table and rummaging through it, looking for his stash of healing potions.

“Aha!” He exclaimed after a while and raised his hand into the air, holding a bottle that supposedly contained a healing potion, although it definitely didn’t look like one. The boy shuffled closer and stayed kneeling in front of you, showing you the potion as you gave it a skeptical look, not that he could see it through your mask anyway.

“So uhm, for this to actually work, it has to get directly into your blood, so you’ll have to take off your clothes.”

Your eyes widened and slight red creeped onto your cheeks and you shifted your attention to his face, staring at him in disbelief for a few moments.

“What. I’m not undressing in front of you.”

You stated and shook your hand, honestly, you’d rather bleed out that that! The Golden guard paused for a bit, realizing what he just told you and his face turned into the same expression as yours a few seconds ago.

“No! Titan! That’s not what I meant. Just, let me see one of your injuries or something. You don’t have to be completely naked!”

To your and his surprise, his panicked words made you giggle a little, but your laughter disappeared as suddenly as it came. You began to take off your cape and your glove, revealing the deep cut that formed across your arm. Titan, was that a painful thing to do. You bit your lip hard as you held out your injured arm for him to do his thing with the potion. You were still feeling very skeptical of it, usually, healing potions had a golden color and were drunk for them to work, not like whatever this thing was.

The boy gently took your hand and looked at the wound the Emperor so kindly gave you as a reward.

“I’m guessing you really screwed up eh? Here, bite on this.” He stretched out his free hand, giving you some sort of a cloth that looked like it definitely shouldn’t go anywhere near your mouth.

“Ehm Goldie? Aren’t you… forgetting something?” You said and motioned to your mask with your free hand.

“Oh, yeah, I mean,I’ll just take it off? It’s not like we’re strictly forbidden from seeing each other's faces.”

The Golden guard chuckled awkwardly and reached his hand out again, taking off your mask and shoving the cloth into your mouth. For a moment, he just stared at you, a little longer than he should have and when he realized, he shook his head and shifted his focus to the potion bottle. His hand grabbed it off of the ground, opening it and grabbing your injured arm one more time, this time his grasp was a lot more firm than before.

“This is gonna hurt a lot.”

He warned you, but it seemed more like just a simple statement and he began pouring the liquid slowly out of the bottle and into your opened wound. You bit down harder on the cloth, suddenly really glad you actually had it in your mouth and your face scrunched up in pain. If you were alone, you’d be screaming like hell, but right now, your sworn rival was right in front of you, so you stayed quiet, yet even so, you couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down your face again. The potion made your hand feel like it was melting and burning at the same time. “I know, just uh, try to stay still please.”

He spoke up calmly and continued to pour the rest of the potion onto the wound. With all the willpower you had, you forced yourself to take a deep breath through your nose and tried to think about literally anything else. You shut your eyes tight and wiped your tears and the dried nosebleed with your free, gloved arm.

The pain started to slowly but surely fade as the bottle was emptied of its contents and you took the cloth out of your mouth.

“Okay, your legs next.”

The boy let go of your hand and turned around, grabbing another potion from the cabinet and shifting his focus to your leg. You opened your eyes wide at his words as he took off your boot, both from knowing that you’re gonna have to go through the pain the potion brought and from seeing how messed up it actually was. Your foot was twisted into a very unnatural position and turning purple.

“The hell has happened to you?”

He said, quite shocked, he has experienced the Emperor's wrath himself a few times, but never to this extent. You took a deep breath, trying to block out the shooting pain caused by your limb being moved.

“Well uh, I got thrown against one of those spikey things, hence the cut and uhh landed on my foot so, yeah.” The Golden guard nodded and scratched the back of his neck, feeling slightly bad for making fun of you earlier now.

“Alright, ready?”

Knowing what was gonna happen now and that it was going to be incredibly painful, you closed your eyes and shook your head.

“Definitely not.” You grabbed the clothing and this time voluntarily shoving it in your mouth once more. The potion hit your skin and the cuts in it once more and you could feel your foot twisting back into its original form, followed by the sensation of melting and burning.

Of course tears streamed down your face again, but there was no shame in that, the Golden guard knew how awfully painful the potion was. Your breathing was shallow and quick, eyes shut tight, head turned away from the source of pain and the leg twitched as it slowly returned to what it was supposed to look like and you endured the pain.

“Just a little longer.”

He reassured you and you nodded in acknowledgement.

Suddenly, the world around you started to spin and you felt like you were going to pass out for sure and just them, the pain completely vanished. The Golden guard stood up from his kneeling position and took the piece of clothing out of your mouth, picking up the bottles, now empty of that god awful potion and turning back to the cabinet and hiding the things in his hands. Meanwhile he did his thing, you took a deep breath and finally took a peek at your leg. It was still very rough looking, but now it did look like it was supposed to and the pain was completely gone.

Your arm was healed as well, although there was now a huge scar where the cut used to be. A sigh of relief came out of your mouth and you let your upper body fall back onto the guards bed, while your legs were dangling over the edge of it. Just then you realized how tired you actually felt and now that you were lying down, there was nothing that could make you get back up.

Footsteps approached the bed and when you looked up, you could see the boy, staring down at you, now dressed in his… pajamas? When did he change? Whatever, doesn’t matter. You stayed like that for a moment, just staring at each other, and then you rolled your eyes, before speaking up, breaking the tense silence.

“What? You like what you see?” Now that you felt better and pain wasn’t coming out of every corner of your body, you decided to return to your old habits and tease him again. “And what if I do?” “That’d be weird because we’re rivals, remember?” You replied and let out a lighthearted scoff. He shrugged at your response and walked away, towards his desk.

“I mean, we don’t have to be. We’d actually make a pretty good team.” You chuckled at his words and shook your head, it was weird to even think about not fighting with this guy. Being his rival was something that was set in stone for you, you never questioned it, honestly you didn’t even know why it was like that, it just was.

“Pfft yeah sure.” He grabbed something off of his desk and made his way back over to you, sitting down at his bed next to you.

“I mean it.” The boy quietly replied and you weren’t even sure if you were meant to hear his words, but you did nonetheless. He reached out his hand and placed something on your chest. You propped yourself up with your arms, your elbows burying into the mattress slightly and looked down at your chest to see what exactly was the thing he placed onto you. When it finally registered and you recognized your mask, you remembered something. Even though you were previously determined to stay laying down no matter what, your curiosity was definitely bigger than your tiredness.

You sat up and turned to face him, a mischievous look painted your face.

“I have a score to make even.” Before the boy could react in any way, you slid his mask off of his face and hid it behind your back in hopes that he wouldn't be able to get it back until you could get a proper look at his face. He stared at you for a second with wide eyes, before quickly covering his face with his hands.

“What the fuck are you doing!?”

The boy screamed at you through his hands.

“C’moooon, you got to see my face! It’s only fair that I get to see yours!”

A groan escaped his mouth and he reluctantly let you peel his hands away from his hands off of his face. You finally got a proper look at him and your mouth hung slightly agape.

“Okay, wow, I for sure didn’t expect that.” You spoke up after a moment of silent staring in awe and he tilted his head sideways in confusion.

“What do you mean by that??” He asked you with a bewildered expression and the color of your cheeks changed into a shade of light pink as you continued to stdy his face a bit more.

“Dude, have you seen yourself? Do you know what a mirror is?? I mean, you’re like the prettiest person I know!”

The Golden guards confusion turned into embarrassment and his face turned into a full on tomato red at your words. He looked away from you and nervously scratched his neck.

“Oh, I, uhmmm I mean, thank you. You uhm, you look good too.”

The awkward state he was in made you laugh a little.

“No honey, I don’t just look good, I look amazing okay? Don’t make that mistake again.” The boy stared at you with a dead panned expression for a prolonged moment and then absolutely crumbled with laughter. This threw you off slightly, you’ve never actually heard him laugh like that before, his usual laugh was sarcastic and even mean, but this was something completely different. This laugh was honest and one could even say sweet, like a genuine laugh. And it also was one of the contagious laughs, making you laugh too the longer you watched him.

“Aw man, why in the Titan did you say that? That's so weird!” He said, trying to stop himself from laughing further, as his stomach began to hurt and happy tears formed in the corners of his eyes. After a few proper deep breaths, you two finally regained your composure and stopped laughing.

“Well obviously you found it funny too. Not to mention that even your real laugh is pretty.”

The boy picked himself up off of the ground he was laying on and went to sit back down next to you onto the bed. His face was slightly red again from your compliment and he fidgeted with his fingers nervously.

“Hey, you know, I really don’t want to fight with you all the time. So uhm, what do you say…? Truce? I mean, for now at least?” He said and anxiously offered you his hand to shake.

You thought about it for a moment and then shrugged and shook it.

“To be honest, I don’t even know why we’re rivals in the first place. I guess I felt like I had to beat you in everything to prove my worth to the Emperor, but I see how that’s stupid now. Sorry for that, Goldie.” Your words were spoken in a more serious tone than you normally spoke in and as you said that, the boy looked over to you and let out a sigh, the corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards into a small smile.

“Hunter, my name’s Hunter.”

He corrected you and paused for a minute to wait for your reaction and when you didn’t really say anything he continued.

“But I suppose I wasn’t the nicest to you either. When you joined I always felt like the Emperor was going to replace me with you, so I guess we both have our thing.” You took in his words and smiled at them, before nodding in agreement.

For a bit you two just sat next to each other in silence and you could feel your tiredness return to nag on you once more. You tried to fight it as much as you could and keep yourself awake, but before you could actually do anything about it, your eyes closed and you drifted off into sleep. As your body felt backwards into his bed, Hunter turned to look at you and realized what was going on. He didn’t really know what to do, well, he did, but carrying you back to your quarters seemed like such a hassle at that moment, so he threw that idea out of the window.

Instead, he put you into a proper sleeping position, resting your head on his pillow and covering you with his blanket. He took both of the masks that were still laying on the bed and put them aside onto his table. For a few moments he just stared at you, contemplating about what to do now, but then he shrugged and lied down next to you, his back facing yours and let out a tired yawn.

You suddenly jolted awake when you felt something warm wrap around you. It took you a few seconds of just staring into the dark, quiet, not your room to remember what happened right before you fell asleep and when it finally clicked, you also realized what was up. You figured that you probably passed out some time after your deep talk from exhaustion and he followed shortly after and while you slept, you somehow ended up in his arms.

However, you didn’t really mind as much as you were supposed to do, in fack, even if you hated to admit it, this felt somewhat nice. You still felt sleepy from the events of yesterday and in your tired state, you simply couldn’t care less what you snuggled up to as long as it was warm and comfortable while you went back to sleep. And so you slowly turned around and snaked your arms around him too, closing whatever space was left between you and him and buried your head into his chest. It sure would be an awkward morning for you two, but right now, you’ll just go back to sleep and maybe even dream.

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