#state lines are a prison and I cannot escape

[captainderyn]

Me, chewing on the walls because Jen Hale is going to be at NY Comic Con which used to only be 4 hours from me but now I live in the mIDWEST

[postingchan]

Studying USUK themes // An analysis of 西米目民's motherland

I love usuk, and I've found some fan pmvs that dig so deep into what makes me love this ship and nationverse. Please watch the video it is excellent! English translations by Igilis on youtube

Here's my subjective reading

西米目民's Motherland explores three USUK elements: Freedom, Humanity, and Loneliness.

The video opens with two shots of Ame and Eng, trapped.

On the left they're holding their birds (robin and eagle), but they also are those birds in the birdcage (note the chains and the cell between them.) They cannot reach each other and they cannot escape. While Ame's eagle is flying with some resilience, Eng's robin lies on its side, exhausted. England's eyes are hidden, both are cast in shadow. While flowers (a rose?) reaches them both, it's a small relief in their chains.

On the right, they are literally in prison uniforms in prison. England cannot see and America cannot speak - they can't communicate with each other, they are doomed to feel alone. Their prisoner cards have their nation names, suggesting it is them as nations that are locked up.

It's not just them, though. All nations (ltr: Spain?, Port, Rome, China, Russia, France) are trapped. By drawing all of these figures in shadow, the artist reduces their humanity to mere shapes

That's the mindset Eng grows up in, a harsh and lonely world of survival. He turns to violence instead of understanding because that's all he's known

Ame changes this, literally offering a light to Eng. Look at the "freedom" (grass and skies) and innocence (bunny).

England tries to instill his lessons onto America, who grows frustrated both with Eng's rules of the world and his authority. You can see his unhappiness with two of Eng's other colonies. (Is it intentional that the high collars of Can and Ind look like shackles?)

(side note I do think India's a weird choice for this. Australia or NZ would probably have been better)

He still believes in the goodness of the world (flowers, nature, Davie/innocence), but this crumples with the American revolution as he really starts to buck England

He wants to see England as this safe harbor, a home, but that's just not who England is! He's way too jaded.

America starts to become ruthless too. The thanksgiving turkey acknowledges the state's genocide of indigenous people.

He smokes, both a symbol of leaving childhood behind and a blood splatter similar to England coughing up blood re:rev war

"lost my way back to anywhere". Bro's grown up.

At some point, both America and England lost each other. There's such a rift between them, an ability to connect and understand each other

The brightness of the past, of their little home, only exist in blue memory

America continues to be sick of the political nation game

It's WW2 that changes things (WW2, earlier there was churchill and there's a scene with sakuras for japan pearl harbor)

England, the bird in the cage, sees America coming to rescue him. While America has become kind of scary at this point, he so badly wants to save/take England.

Take? Do you see the apple? Garden of Eden, sin?

This apple represents sinful human relationships. Nation-tans aren't supposed to be able to have that kind of connection or their own agency. America, land of the free, Mr. Manifest destiny, wants badly to change that. He wants England, and he might be powerful enough to break all the rules

Again the wall separating Ame and Eng. Some lines flash on the screen:

Eng: What do you want? Ame: Whatever, you never refused Eng: There's something we can never break Ame: I never believed any f**cking rules Eng: Anyway, don't be silly. I can't even imagine how ridiculous what you are planning is. Ame: You know what i mean. Ame: and expect it

While Eng is super resigned, Ame wants to break free. He's bringing light (lamp) to england

They sit a distance away, unable to reach each other. England scoffs off freedom as ridiculous, but America is focused.

They're wearing their nation badges here, they don't have the privilege of being human

But America actually does it! He goes fuck that we ball.

He initiates a real connection, real communication with England despite all the restrictions of nationhood

Their countries are scribbled out, they break free. They are Arthur Kirkland and Alfred F. Jones, they can go past those limits

We get a bit more garden of eden imagery. The snake is here to tempt, but lol America's already bitten that apple and taken the step to "sin".

There's no going back but England meets America, able to love him at last without any rules

USUK can be properly there for each other, they can love each other and find companionship like humans do.

They're free!

TL;DR: My reading of this video is that nations, by their nature, are lonely trapped spirits. USUK has to break these rules to love each other

Would love to hear other people's readings too, cheers

[foolinafable]

ii. the greatest

SYNOPSIS: He doesn’t know how to love. You know this and yet you would still give everything just to be with him- even for just a moment. Or the story of how you and Keith finally get together. PAIRING: Keith Kogane x Altean reader WORD COUNT: 4.3k TAGS: Slowburn, Angst, extreme cannon compliance, fighting SERIES LINK: a love as cold as ours

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Up to now, all his information was spot on, not even a hair out of line. You had just come back from another successful mission infiltrating and destroying a galran base using Lotor’s intel. You were sitting with the rest of the paladins in the lounge room discussing Lotor and the mission 

“I mean it’s a lot easier going on successful missions when you have all the information you need before you get there” Hunk claimed as he put his arms behind his head resting on the couch.

 “And yet you still manage to run your lion into a wall” Lance teases, causing a small laugh to escape your lips

 “Yeah well, information is one thing. Ability is something completely different” Hunk complained

“There's no doubt about it, we haven't encountered a single problem.” Shiro spoke standing in front of you with all arms crossed.

 “I must admit, we took down a vital target today” Allura admitted and you knew that was hard for her to trust not just a galaran but the son of the man who killed your entire planet.

 “And we made it look pretty easy! Except for the drowning in the lava part.” Pidge concluded

 “It may be time to consider taking the next step” Shiro stated and you put your hand on Alluras as she was next to you feeling the worry encasing her form 

“I’m still not comfortable with this. It just doesn't feel right.”  she ranted as you tapped her hand to get her attention 

“But sometimes that is just what you have to do, as a leader, is make those uncomfortable choices. Time has proven that we cannot always trust our gut instincts, Allura, and I think he deserves a chance to prove to us that we were wrong about him. “you took a shaky breath before continuing

“We already know that galran is not synonymous with evil, so let's let him prove to us that he is more than just a product of Zarkons creation.” 

── ✧

You stood in between Allura and Shiro as you made the way towards Lotor's cell, waiting in complete silence as the doors opened to the room he was kept in. Walking along the catwalk towards his circular prison, where he sat diligently waiting. 

“Your intel checked out” Shiro started

“You still feign surprise” Lotor uttered 

“And you still act as though you don’t know why” you replied tilting your head slightly in disbelief.

All of the good he has and could do will never take away from the evil he has done. You find it silly that he believes it could. 

“All of the information I've given has proved correct” he continued, unfazed by your comment

“Every target I've provided, easily dispatched. And yet you still look at me-” 

He was interrupted this time by Allura

“As if you were the leader of the most blood-thirsty race of murders this universe has ever known?”

He looked up somewhat exacerbated

“Can people not change? Is it so hard to believe that I wish to return the galran empire to a bygone era of peace?” 

To which you quipped

“Of course people can change, your father is evidence enough of that. But, you need to own your mistakes, not pretend as though you haven't killed millions of innocents just because he asked you to. You say you are remorseful for it, but the way you act contradicts that completely.” 

He simply nodded at you, executing defeat once again to your words as he turned to Allura

“Our fathers were once friends, long ago. Can there be hope for us?”

To which Shiro replied “I guess we still need convincing” 

Lotor somewhat shocked tried again “The facts speak for themselves, the galra empire is completely reliant on quintessence, serve that need peacefully and you have a complete paradigm shift, a new dawn for the old empire.” 

Allura, somewhat annoyed, spoke “And you're the man to make this happen?” 

As Lotor continued to defend himself you couldn't help but zone out, how many times must he say the same thing for Allura to give him a little leeway, the more freedom he has the more ability he has to be useful to Voltron, there is only so much information he can give before Zarkon and his generals catch on and change anything he may know about.

“Cleary, princess you are not ready to end this war” you heard Lotor grouch as Allura and Shiro turned away, you quickly followed them not daring to say a word as you knew just as they did, that he had a point. 

── ✧

You stood to the right of Allura, in between Shiro and Lance as Allura addressed the coalition, deciding to look forward instead of up at the screens showing the coalition members, knowing that the second you looked up you would search for his face as you always do. There is no time for these unrequited feelings now or ever and as Allura says

“We have only got this far by the sacrifices we have made”

It reminds you of why you will never try to be with him, it is simply a liberty you cannot allow yourself your mission is to free the galaxy and then build up a new Altea with Allura and Coran. The rest of the coalition left the meeting beside the Blade of Marmora who had a video which showed only Kolivan and Keith. 

“Did you complete raids on the targets we sent you on our last communication?” Shiro asked 

“Yes, the information we received has consistently checked out” Kolivan replied.

“With all of these successful missions taking place, in such a short period of time, it won't be long before the gala realises we have an inside source” You were glad Pidge was bringing this up, matching your own thoughts.

“That's true, we should expect the enemy to change protocol soon” Kolivan adds. 

“Then we need to act fast and hit as many targets as possible.” Lance concludes you turn to Shiro

“I will go speak to Lotor then” And he nods

 “Yes go see if there is anything else he can give us” but before you could turn to leave Allura turns to you

 “I can’t help but feel like we are a small part of a much larger ulterior motive” to which you reply

 “I understand, but what other choice do we have?” Then you turn and walk out of the room, failing to see how the silent boy standing next to Kolivan follows your moves with his eyes, eyebrows slightly furrowed. 

── ✧

You stood in the control room with the others, looking towards Pidge and Matt. You should’ve known to wait until the teledev was repaired to tell them about the lead on their father that Lotor had given you, but you were just so excited to tell them and now you sat, looking over a Pidge as Matt comforted her when a communication link was sent through to the castle, and it showed Zarkon

“Paladins of Voltron, I am making a one time offer. I have someone of value to you,” he turned his body away from the camera to show Samuel Holt, Pidge and Matt's dad

“I will hand him over and in exchange, you will give me my son, Lotor.”

The moment after Zarkon made his terms for the swap, time seemed to go too fast. The arguing between the paladins, Matt and Pidge's desperation, even Lotors pleading- it was all too much.

But now being sat waiting above the planet the trade was being made on with the rest of the paladins time couldn't be slower. Dread wracking all of your forms, because like Lotor said could we really trust Zarkon to uphold his end of the bargain and even thoughts about if this was right, Having Lotor as a part of the coalition may be the only way to see peace from the galra there will always be another tyrant who will try to take over the empire and Lotor was, unfortunately, the best out of a bad bunch. You knew that when Zarkon got his hands on Lotor that this plan would come to its end much like Lotor will. So while you are happy that Pidge finally might have her family back, you feel a sense of grieving for the prosperous future of peace the galran price spoke of.

You were all sitting in the control room completely powerless but Allura insisted that we must

“Hold our positions” as if we were to move in so would Zarkons fleet. You were sitting hand in hand unable to look at the screen when Hunk exclaimed

 “Pidge, Matt and Shiro are moving in!” causing you to look up at the screen in alarm as beeps began to show the gala moving in as Coran pointed out. 

Then Lance commanded “Everybody get to your lions, we need to protect our team, and get Sam.” quickly the four of you suited up and got into your lions, racing towards the rendezvous point. It seems your timing was impeccable as Shiro commed in 

“Lance, we need some backup!” and luckily like the paladin pointed out

 “We are already on our way.” The group quickly made their way towards the moving galra shutter and its ships, the lions quickly blasted at the ships, destroying them as quickly as they could. While you were fighting and doing the galra ships you noticed white lasers being shot from the castle of lions, clearly Coran wanted a piece of all the action you all called out to him in glee to which he responded

 “i thought you could all use a bit of help!” Soon after you were able to get rid of the last ships.

“Shiro, Pidge, the sky is clear of all galra. What's your status?” Lance asked to which Pidge quickly replied 

“shuttle is not clear yet!” Then you saw what looked like Lotors old comrades falling out of the shuttle and Shiro comed in, sounding very calm 

“the shuttle is clear.” The four lions surrounded the shuttle as Lance congratulated the team when Shiro asked 

“Where are Lotor and Zarkon?” which made your face drop in worry, clearly this mission was far from over.

You looked to the left of the planet to see large plums of smoke, you and the rest of the team quickly made your way over to it and found Zarkon with the black bayard pointing it towards Lotor for the kill shot, without thinking you activated your laser shooting it at zarkon, causing an explosion right where he stood, luckily the other paladins quickly followed suit shooting their lasers towards Zarkon causing more smoke and fire to envelope the area, then you saw a purple light peeking out of the smoke, growing larger, then a large purple beam erupted from the smoke along with an agonising scream from- Zarkon.

As the smoke cleared all you could see was Lotor standing over his father as the sun began to rise over them.

Zarkon was dead and by his own son's hand.

── ✧

A few days later, you found yourself on Alkarion, while the rest of the paladins were busy scouting the area, ensuring its safety while they put in place new protection measures and Matt and Pidge were having some time with their father. You found yourself in the control room of the castle of lions with Allura and Lotor.

“They should be here any minute.” Allura said arms crossed not looking behind her in the prince's direction 

“Good, there is much to discuss” he replied and sat on the steps that lead to the main podium.

 “Are you alright?” you asked the galran man making Allura finally turn her attention towards him clearly also noticing his melancholy nature to which he simply said 

“i’ll be fine” not even looking towards the two of you. 

“What you did was for the greater good, and for many of us proof of your intentions for peace.” Allura complimented a slight smile on her face. Before any of you could get another word in, the keypad beeps allowing the door to open relieving the rest of the paladins and Coran all here for the meeting.

 “Look at its prince Lotor just hanging out on the bridge!” Lance proclaimed and to your amusement, sounding quite annoyed at the fact. 

“Why, what else would he be doing while waiting for you all to show up, great punctuality by the way” You interrupted the rest of the paladins as they went on about how strange this was because while you agree with them, there isn't much time for this. Luckily Shiro also seemed to agree with you walking towards the man 

“What’s going on, Lotor.” happy to finally get to business Lotor spoke

“Since the death of my father, it has created a power vacuum in the galra empire, the most formidable galra leaders will gather for what is called the Kral Zera sometime in the next two days to decide who will take the throne. We must be there” looking towards the other paladins who looked at him as if he had just said the most insane thing imaginable

“So you want us to fly you into the middle of a meeting with all of the most powerful galra leaders?” Lance questioned, almost unable to believe what he was saying.

“Lotor, we appreciate everything you have sacrificed, but this sounds far too dangerous” to which you replied

“While it may be dangerous Allura, I cannot help but think that it is crucial Lotor is there to defend his claim to the empire, otherwise Zarkons death would’ve been for nothing. We would simply be replacing one evil tyrant with another.” it seemed Shiro agreed with you

“I mean we have been in more dangerous situations with much less to gain. Putting Lotor on the galra throne is what we have been discussing” to which Pidge quipped 

“Yeah, but nobody told us that would mean flying into a warzone.” 

“We cannot plan an operation this important so quickly” Allura concluded to which Shiro argued

 “We don't have a choice” and he was right this was a one-time event, “It’s the only chance we’ve got” you reminded them. 

“I’m with Allura, we need time to think this over.” Lance decided but Shiro quickly shut him down

 “Lance this is not your call” You looked towards the boy with alarmed eyes and he met your gaze with widened eyes of his own both of you bewildered by this sudden attitude change in Shiro.

“Allura, the coalition wouldn't be where it is right now without Lotor, we need to listen to him.” 

The rest of the paladins and Coran chimed in with their decisions leaving it “four-three in the princess' favour” as Coran put it. But Shiro still dismissed this

“I’m the leader of Voltron, I’m making this decision.” to which Allura commented

“Like when you armed Lotor with your bayard without consulting the rest of us?” to which Shiro simply nodded his head

“That's right. Making that decision resulted in the removal of Zarkon” to which Allura exclaimed 

“You put the entire operation in jeopardy” but Shiro rebutted

“I put an end to Zarkons reign, now this is the time to finish the job.” Lance decided to step in as the second in command to try and dial down the tension 

“Shiro, we are all on the same side here” But Shiro quickly dismissed him 

“I told you to stay out of this'' looking towards him with venom making Lance look once again shocked at what Shiro was saying.

 “While you all waste time squabbling” Lotor started clearly annoyed by this turn of events “Sinister forces are conspiring to fill the galra power void, if I do not return to claim the throne then there is no telling on who will.” To which Shiro replied

“Good then it’s settled” to which Pidge complained 

“How is it settled?”

 “Our hands are tied, the Kral Zera is happening. If we want to stop the galra, we need to put Lotor on the throne immediately.”  Shiro responded.

── ✧

Sitting in the Black lion with Shiro and Lotor wasn't how you thought today would go, but clearly, you and Shiro were the only ones willing to do what was necessary.

After the attack on Alkarion it only solidified to you and Shiro how important it was to get Lotor on the throne. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to sway the other paladins so here you were only 2 out of 6 paladins ready to jump into a pit full of the most powerful galra in the entire empire.

The black lion arrived at planet Feyiv landing seemingly right in the centre of the action, you as instructed stood behind Lotor, slightly to the left of him as the entrance to the black lion was opened, showing the galran officials below you.

You took a deep breath as the wind blew rapidly looking at Lotor for a moment before turning your focus to the enemy eyebrows raising as you saw the looks on their faces, more shock than anger and that you could definitely work with.

You suppose you to would be shocked to see a half galran hybrid and an altean arriving together peacefully, probably the last time this combination was seen was with Lotors parents and his father wasn't even a hybrid- so the pair of you are really a sight to behold and it probably doesn't help that you're a paladin of Voltron leaving the black lion either. 

“Halt. Your true emperor has arrived” Lotor commanded as the black lion's mouth lowered to the ground you both walked towards the fire as Sendak questioned 

“You? Lead the galra empire? What could possibly make you think that you could be our emperor” You tightened your grip on your bayard- a bo staff with a razor-sharp edge at the top waiting for Lotors command 

“My father's blood is not just in my veins, it is also on my sword. The emperor fell to me and so will anyone else that stands in my way.” you could see the way Sendak's face changed from one of amusement to one of anger 

“You think treachery makes you qualified to lead us?” you followed slowly behind the Lotor as he walked towards Sendak

 “I will light the flame, not for defeating my father and not even for being the strongest galra here. But because I did something no one else could do, I returned the black lion to the galra and had one of Voltron paladins at my side. Stand aside, Sendak."

This clearly did not sit well with the galran and quickly the two began to fight to get up the stairs. However, as quickly as the fighting started it was seized as large explosions began to emit from underneath the stairs. You looked to Lotor in alarm as Sendak concluded 

“Lotor has betrayed us for Voltron!” you quickly turned around towards the other garlans, bracing yourself for a fight, Shiro quickly lept to the sky as the galra ships began to fire at him.

Quickly all the galran began to fight each other and in extension you. You took down the galran in front of you grabbing their arm before they could shoot at you, sending them to the ground making sure to crush their gun as you did, before quickly moving on to the next, it was a whirlwind of purple flying everywhere as you tried to find your way towards Lotor. Quickly knocking out anyone who got in the way when a gloved hand grabbed your arm from behind, you quickly turned towards them the sharp edge of your staff pressing against their neck

 “Woah” a familiar voice croaked out making you move your staff back as you noticed the suit- what where the blade doing here?

Keith quickly removed his mask as you put your staff back to the ground, “What are you doing here?” he quickly asked before looking around the battlefield

“Where is everyone else” he quickly added

“I could ask you the same, but I suppose I am not wrong to suspect that the explosions were your doing. Shiro and I are making sure that Lotor gets on the throne, everyone else didn’t think it was a good idea so we came just the three of us.” you simply explained as he took you further away from the battlefield finding yourself behind a pillar. 

“Where's your lion? What if Shiro needs help up there?” is all he responds with almost as if he's still trying to understand what exactly is happening

“Lotor decided we only needed the black lion, it made the most sense in his plan as how could one galran get two Voltron lions and I think Shiro is doing just fine on his own''

looking up you could see that the galran were more shooting at each other than at Shiro so he was able to quickly destroy them “And if he needed backup my lion is only a call away” you added he also looked up at the sky proving to him that you in fact where correct

“So what you're just acting as Lotors backup then” clearly he was still confused by the turn of events

“I mean pretty much” you rescinded shrugging your shoulders because if you were being honest you weren't completely sure as to why Lotor wanted you to come with him. But you knew better than to try and come up with another plan when he was so expertly set up.

“Oh, so are you all buddy-buddy with him now?” Keith asked, his eyes slightly twitching to which you simply looked at him confused

“What do you even mean by that?” head tilting to emphasis a needed clarification from the boy

“I just-” he starts pressing his lips together in annoyance “he must mean a lot to you for you to go against the entire team to take him here” to which you quickly respond 

“Not particularly no, and the team will understand. This was the only way-” he interrupted you eyebrows raised 

“Are you sure about that'' you are suddenly taken aback by his words

“Excuse me?” Then the venom started to pour out of his mouth. 

“I just think this is a mistake.” He pointed towards you 

“I disagree” you insisted. 

“Then you're not listening to me!” he declared voice raised “It’s not safe, you are surrounded by the most powerful galra in the empire with only Lotor as backup.” he crossed his arms against his chest speaking his name as if it were poison on his tongue 

“You don’t think I know that'' you replied but were met with silence “So you think I can't handle this alone?” you accused 

“I know you can’t, you need to leave.” he declared his words immediately triggered a fire of anger within you i mean who does he think he is 

“Some supportive friend you are-” you begin but he interrupts you again clearly angry himself 

“What and you are” he accuses you scoff at this

 “I have always supported you and your decisions, do not stand here and try to assume otherwise”

All the times you took his side flashed into your memory as your anger only seemed to grow and his next words were no help

“Or what?” he taunts 

“Or what?” you echo almost whispering looking at him incredulously 

“You know what you were right, you are a horrible cold excuse of a man and I for one am glad you left Voltron so I do not have to deal with this anymore.” You exclaim pointing towards him. 

“Good, like I want to need to protect you all the time, that I definitely haven’t missed and don’t even get me started on your opinionated nature, would it kill you not to need to butt into every conversation ever?” he shouts

You simply stare at him in shocked silence watching as the words he spoke registered in his head. You simply turned around leaving him standing there seething with anger but also trying to stop tears from falling down your face- this wasn’t about him or even you this was about the future of the galra empire. Furthermore, the future of the whole universe now is not the time to cry over him.

Luckily you quickly spot Lotor somehow not in the middle of the chaos as rush towards him, he seems relieved to see you, at least someone is. 

“This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I knew they would turn on each other.” it seems this moment of peace was quickly disturbed as Sendak came threw himself in between you to leaving smoke in his path, as you find your feet you see a general fighting with Keith who quickly falls to the ground, you quickly disarm the galan sending them to ground unconscious with a simply whack of your staff, looking up you made eye contact with Acxa, one of Lotors officials who lowered her gun staring at you, she simply nodded before turning away.

You didn’t dare turn around and meet his purple eyes feeling them glaring at you, you simply ran down the stairs as you saw the rest of Voltron coming through the wormhole with your lion hurtling towards you. You quickly got inside and joined the rest of the team as you heard Shiro shout 

“Time to form Voltron!”

As a team you quickly destroyed the rest of the galran ships. You watched from inside Voltron as Sendak got distracted by another warlord giving Lotor the chance to walk up to the galran throne, flame in hand. Then the flame was lit.

Lotor was now the emperor of the galran empire.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible by James Russell Miller

Elijah Discouraged and Restored (1 Kings 19:1-16)

It is little wonder that Jezebel was furious, when she learned from Ahab of the slaughter of her priests. She vowed vengeance upon Elijah. “May the gods also kill me if by this time tomorrow I have failed to take your life like those whom you killed!” It was a trying hour for Elijah, and for once he flinched.

“So you intend to be a reformer, young man?” asked an old peer of young Wilberforce. “That is the end of reformers,” he continued, pointing to a picture of Jesus on His cross. Those who would contend with error must always expect opposition, possibly persecution, possibly death! To be a bold confessor anywhere is to face enmity, sneers, reproach. Even Christian boys at school or at work will ofttimes have to endure petty persecutions if they remain true to their Master.

We have been accustomed to think of Elijah as a man who would flinch before nothing. But we are disappointed this time in our man. “Elijah was afraid and fled for his life!” Possibly he did right, We are not required always to face danger. There are times when it would be foolhardy to do so, when we would only be throwing away our life. Jesus said to His disciples, “When they persecute you in this city flee into the next.” On several occasions, in the earlier days of His ministry, Jesus Himself withdrew from danger, because His hour had not yet come. There are times, of course, when we must stand and not flee. At the last, when His hour had come, Jesus made no effort to escape from His enemies but quietly yielded Himself into their hands. There are times in every life when to flee from danger would be cowardice and treason to the Master. But we have no right to sacrifice our life unless it be clearly in obedience to the divine call. We cannot blame Elijah, therefore, for fleeing from the wrath of Jezebel.

In what followed, however, we cannot defend the prophet. Not only did he flee but he became panic - stricken. “Then he went on alone into the desert, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors!” He was in a state of sad despondency. It was not fright that produced this condition of mind it was discouragement. It seemed to him that all he had done, all the struggle at Mount Carmel, had come to nothing. There are few things we need to guard against more carefully, than discouragement. When once we allow ourselves to come under its influence, we are made weak. Our hope and courage fail.

In every line of life we find discouraged people, and the discouragement takes away much of their power for work. It surely is a sad picture this greatest and bravest of all the old prophets, lying there under a little bush in the wilderness, begging to die!

There are many other illustrations of similar experience in godly men. John the Baptist, lying in prison in the castle of Machaerus, began to question whether, after all, Jesus, whom he had baptized and upon whom he had seen the Spirit descending, was indeed the promised Messiah. Luther, another Elijah in his bravery before rulers, once became so depressed that all joy left him. It is said that one morning, when he was in this mood, his wife came down to breakfast dressed in deep mourning. Luther looked up in amazement, and said, “Who is dead?” His wife answered: “Why, do you not know? God is dead.” He reproved her for her words. “How can God die? He is eternal.” “Yet,” she replied, “from the way you are cast down one would think God must be dead.” Then Luther saw what a wise woman his wife was, and mastered his mood.

Elijah was a man of prayer. He is mentioned in the Epistle of James as an example of a righteous man, whose supplication availed much in its working. Here, however, his prayer for death was not answered. It was well for Elijah, too, that the prayer was not answered. If he had died there what an inglorious ending of life it would have been! As it was, however, he lived to do further glorious work, to see great results, and instead of dying in the wilderness, missed death altogether.

It is never right to wish ourselves dead. People are sometimes heard expressing such a wish but it is always wrong. Life is God’s gift to us, a sacred trust for which we shall have to give account. As long as God keeps us living He has something for us to do. Our prayers should be for grace to bear our burden and do our duty bravely unto the end.

Any discouraging experience, and the things we think have failed us may cast down into despondency. But the things we think have failed us are often only slowly ripening into rich success. Thus the night of discouragement passes away and the day of blessing follows. We have but to be faithful and to wait and in the end we shall always rejoice.

It was only a little bush under which Elijah crept, and its shadow furnished but scant protection from the heat. Yet a blessing came to him there. He slept. “He gives His beloved sleep ,” writes the psalmist. Sleep is a wonderful blessing. God hides us away in the darkness, and while we sleep, he brings gifts of life to us. He fills up again the wasted fountains of life, and we rise in the morning renewed and strong, ready for new service.

It was only a little juniper bush under which the prophet slept that day. There is another tree under which God’s discouraged ones may find real and true comfort the tree of Calvary. Angels come there, too, with their sweet refreshment and gentle ministry. There food is furnished to satisfy the soul’s deepest craving. There all blessings of mercy and grace are dispensed. A story is told of one who fled from a gathering storm, taking refuge under a great tree. He was both hungry and thirsty. On the tree he found fruit for his hunger, at the tree’s roots a spring of water gushed out, and there he quenched his thirst. Just so, under the cross we find not only shelter but also food and drink. When we are in any trouble we should go and sit down in the shadow of the cross of Christ, and we will find there all we need of divine comfort and help.

When he had slept for a time, an angel came and touched him, and bade him arise and eat. Here, again, we see God’s loving gentleness. First, sleep, with its refreshment; then food. God did not cast off His servant because he was so discouraged and depressed. He followed him in his flight and kept watch over him all the way. There is great comfort in this fact for us. God is very patient with us in our weakness and failure. He gave Elijah sleep, and then food, until his exhausted nature was refreshed. Very much spiritual depression is caused by the condition of the body. Ofttimes the best cure for despondency, is sleep and food until the nerves are quiet and the body is restored to healthy conditions.

The prophet was strengthened, and “went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights.” When we have long journeys to take, God prepares us for them. When hard experiences lie before us, we are divinely fitted for meeting them. Whenever God sends us on any journey, into whatever desert it may be He will make provision that we faint not by the way. Many people whose lot in life is hard go through the days with cheerful, songful spirit because every morning, in prayer, God gives them food which makes them strong for the journey. Those who feed upon the Word of God are strengthened for the journey of life.

While Elijah was in the cave in the mountain, God came to him. This was still part of his work of restoration. Elijah was discouraged, and God would bring him back to his usual gladness and hope. He came to him in the stillness and asked him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” When we find our friends in great sorrow, the best thing we can do for them ofttimes is to give them an opportunity to open their hearts. That was what God did here He asked this question that Elijah might unburden himself. Of course, God knew all about Elijah’s discouragement; but it did the prophet good to tell it. We need never be afraid to open our heart to God, telling Him every anxiety, every care. He understands, and will never chide us. It will do us good to speak freely to Him, even if our fears are only imaginary.

Elijah had thought that he was alone in his loyalty and courage in standing for the Lord. He had thought himself the only loyal follower of Jehovah. No other one had had courage to come out and make himself known that day on Mount Carmel. This made it all the harder for Elijah. It is easy to fight in company with other men but to face the enemy alone, is the sublimest test of a soldier’s courage. The real test of a Christian life is not in church services, nor in a Christian home but where the believer must stand by himself. The young man who finds himself the only Christian clerk in the bank or the office, may find his duty hard. But this should only inspire him with fresh courage and strength. He is the only one Christ has in that place, and he dare not fail. Suppose Elijah had not stood for God that day, had flinched and fled, what would have been the consequence? We never know what may depend on our standing loyally and faithfully at our post, even in lowliest places.

The Lord continued to comfort His servant. He did it now in a wonderful parable in nature. A great wind tore the mountains but the Lord was not in the wind. An earthquake followed but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire but the Lord was not in the fire. “And after the fire a still small voice,” a sound of gentle stillness and that was God. Elijah had been discouraged by the failure of the startling work at Carmel, that it had not altogether crushed Baalism. The Lord shows him that noise is not the most stupendous quality of power, that it is not noise which makes the deepest impression. God works silently, without noise. It is the silent things, the unconscious influences of our lives, that make the deepest and most lasting impressions, and not the things which get advertised in the papers. Jesus was “a still small voice” in this world. He made no noise He did not strive nor cry out, neither was His voice heard in the streets. He did not break a bruised reed, so gentle was He in His movements. Yet that one sweet, quiet life, pouring forth its spirit of love, wrought more than has been wrought by all the armies of conquerors since the world began.

The Lord then sent Elijah on to other duties. “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat to succeed you as prophet.” Elijah was thus assured that other men in their turn would come upon the field, each one doing his part for the destruction of this terrible system of idolatry. No man’s work is complete in itself. Elijah did a part, and then Hazael and Jehu and Elisha, each coming in turn, did a part, until the destruction of Baalism was completed. All we have to do is the little fragment of duty which God gives to us. Others have gone before us and have done a part. Others will come after us and do another part. If we simply do our little portion in our own day we shall please God and bless the world.

[key0-m0ve-al0ng]

This got long so TL;DR: Mikoto acts on autopilot ~%90 of the time, but I believe he planned (most of) his crimes. He has straightforward reasons that align with his actions, but appears purely unreasonable because of his mental state. Kotoko is very deliberate, but acts her most violent out of raw emotion. She appears calculating, but feels completely out-of-control despite her strong "heroic" front.

y'know it SEEMS cliche that John screams like a madman every time he fronts but gee horror tropes aside has Es considered that switching can HURT?? like a lot???? Like idk maybe feeling your body flood with adrenaline and being made to handle that shit the moment someone "pisses him off" is a little bit agonizing? Maybe having no idea what's going on until he can process the emotional flooding adds fear which really doesn't help???

Fuck mannnnn when you read between the lines, John and Mikoto are a REALLY good deconstruction.

... especially since he is contrasted mainly with Kotoko. I say this because I was just struck with an idea.

ESSAY TIME LITERALLY A WHOLE ESSAY CAME OF THIS RANDOM THOUGHT no sources tho pure opinion~

So KOTOKO, despite saving the girl being her primary objective, kicked her victim to death out of anger. At her core, despite all her ideals, she was not acting out of reason or necessity, however reasonable the actual action seems.

Given that prisoner pairs are meant to starkly contrast, that gives me my best reasoning as to why I defend Mikoto's innocent vote while also praying John DOESN'T disappear:

Despite how unreasonable and irrational John acts at first, there's a reason he reacts the way he does. And deep down, somewhere in his mind, MIKOTO knows the reason he did what he did. His motives are real, even if he doesn't remember carrying out such a "dream." This leads me to believe there were REALLY big reasons, and likely good reasons, for killing who he did.

A deliberate, maybe even carefully premeditated act would undeniably lead to the death sentence. His brain knows this even if Mikoto himself isn't consciously thinking of it. But a defense of randomly "losing control?" MAYBE he can keep surviving. Because all he was doing was surviving.

I believe that when one protects themselves, they protect others as well. Perhaps I am biased, but no, abusive people should not go unaddressed and uninterrupted. It's very very very implied that John and Mikoto went after people he felt endangered by. I went over this in my first "Double" analysis, but TL;DR I think the red herring John gave (which is funny cuz that phrase comes from tactics to throw DOGS off their trail) goes SO much farther thematically than I've seen talk about.

John has reasons that he does what he does, as does Mikoto. Systems are wired for survival. The lucky ones do well in academics and even many job environments because they are ALWAYS processing what to do next. Burnout is SEVERE because the brain is basically always "on alert," even when we're checked out. I can find clinically documented sources for this claim and I will if I make a video or something about this, but yeah it sure is an EXPERIENCE when it all comes crashing down. Trying to end a cycle.

As for Kotoko? She is literally portrayed to have a one-track mind. Her ideals and justice. But ironically? She killed out of raw anger and emotion, which is what the wolf at the end of Deep Cover represents. Despite having a very "normal" life overall, SHE is the one who truly loses all control of herself. SHE beats up the people who annoy her. Because it's grating, as she said in Deep Cover, to face the ugliness of humanity and NOT be able to escape your brain's response to it. SHE cannot "disappear" and forget her rage at injustice like Mikoto can. She is at the mercy of this uncontrolled rage and the resulting violence she allows herself to perpetrate. Repeating a cycle.

it's so brilliant. It's SO brilliant. They are the same. They couldn't be more different. Neither is a hero nor a monster. But they are heroes in SOMEONE'S, or arguably MANY people's eyes. And yet in both 009 and 010's cases, when we see their truest and most raw colors, we question EVERYTHING we assumed before.

Mikoto is not telling the whole truth when he says he doesn't get angry or remember anything. John straight-up lied to cover Mikoto's motives for doing so, and possibly out of his own genuine confusion. He is acting on instinct drilled in by traumatic events that the brain is using as reference; however, with how DID works, John is not going to know that. It's not his "job," the protection role he plays in the system , to know that. Yet there are reasons all the same. His BIG reason, which he calls out to Mikoto in "Double," over and over, was to SAVE Mikoto. Meanwhile, Mikoto is afraid of his actions, but presumably carried them out in order to stay alive. Whatever his "dream," he still wishes he could be seen as a good man despite what he presumably felt he had to do to survive. DID is the "sink or swim" disorder; it's literally about saving yourself and being protected from the emotions that come with it. Whether or not his reasons truly make sense is yet to be seen, but either way, Mikoto feels he cannot trust himself. He is cut off from emotions that would make him believe his reasons were "bad enough" to ACTUALLY warrant murder. That is why he split; to forget how bad it truly got. He has NO idea how protected he truly is.

Kotoko firmly believes that she is COMPLETELY honest about what she wants and what she wishes to do about it. She believes her anger is justified completely, and thus her actions must be justified as well. This reasoning allows her to be completely convinced that she is aware of and comfortable with her every choice. Her reaction to her own anger, leaving Lucky behind in that rage, and her reaction to the wolf in "Deep Cover" revealed her awareness and comfort to be a self-imposed illusion of strength. Her ideals are real and she fights for them, yet she's crossed so many lines that she's actually very afraid of what she's become. It's right behind her, isn't it? Something she cannot run from before it swallows her. And having picked apart every other person there? She is alone; but this fear isn't "strong," so she hides it away for the extraction machine to reveal to us as the audience.

Both are driven by larger-than-life emotions that can only come from raw existential anguish; emotions repressed until they explode. Neither are anywhere near what they seem to be on the surface. Both are unknowingly dishonest. Neither knows what to do about it.

I wanna say there's hope for them but you know. Superhell.

[nesiacha]

Letter from Babeuf to Félix Le Peletier, 5 Prairial Year V

Warning: talks about the suicide attempt of Babeuf and Darthé, sensitive souls to abstain

Last letter from Babeuf to Félix Le Peletier

"The jurors, my friend, are about to vote to decide your fate and mine. From all I can perceive, you will escape, but not I. If my wife gives you this letter, she will include the one I wrote to you on the 26th of Messidor last year… The approach of the fateful moment has closed my mind and perhaps my heart to any expression of the feelings I might have shared a few days ago. I don't know, but I didn’t think it would cost me so much to see the dissolution of my being. No matter what they say, nature is always strong. Philosophy offers some tools to overcome it, but you must always pay tribute to it. I still hope to have enough strength to face my final hour; but no more should be expected. I feel a confusion, an indifference, or a void of ideas that I cannot explain. It seems that I wish I could feel something for my wife, for my children, but I no longer feel anything.

To die for the country, to leave behind a family, children, a beloved wife, would be more bearable if I didn’t see at the end of it all the lost freedom and everything that belongs to sincere Republicans, wrapped in the most horrible proscription.

I would advise my wife to try to guide the children with great gentleness, and I would advise my children to deserve their mother’s kindness by respecting her and always remaining obedient to her...

Goodbye. I no longer hold on to the earth except by a thread, which the day tomorrow will surely break. I see it clearly. It must be sacrificed. The wicked are the strongest; I yield to them. At least it is comforting to die with a conscience as pure as mine: everything that is cruel and heart-wrenching is being torn away from your arms, my tender friends, from everything I hold most dear!!! I am being torn from it; the violence is done... Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, ten million times goodbye..."

On the 26th of May, Babeuf is condemned to death with Darthé. Babeuf made a courageous defense, fighting, refusing to answer, contesting many points, trying to save the less compromised or the fugitives by taking full responsibility in this "society of democrats," but acknowledging all the attacks against the Directory and declaring, “The decision of the jurors will resolve this question… Will France remain a Republic, or will it revert to a monarchy?” According to Pierre Serna, Babeuf was nonetheless irresponsible when he had left a list of accomplices in his room. Perhaps it was this guilt that pushed him to take the front line, trying to save as many of his comrades as possible? On the other hand, Babeuf was a true enthusiast of the revolution and was ready to risk his life. He had been in and out of prison so many times that he knew little freedom once he became involved. I should look into this point. The accuser says: "France is tired of rolling from Revolution to Revolution." (The beginning of the end of the revolution had already started with this phrase.)

When he hears the death sentence, Darthé, with his shirt open, cries "Long live the Republic" and stabs himself, as does Babeuf. Darthé tries to strike again but is stopped by the gendarmes. The courtroom is shocked. Babeuf and Darthé are still alive. Babeuf asks to see his wife and children one last time. He is denied. They are brought to the scaffold. Darthé refuses to go (perhaps in a state of shock from his injuries). Babeuf proceeds with more determination.

Now, some sources say it was Emile who gave his father the knife for him to attempt to die with. But Gracchus Babeuf loved his children and wanted to keep them as far away from danger as possible. Also, given the searches, it would have been complicated to transfer the weapon. It would have been his wife, his political right-hand, who would have done it, as she had shared all the dangers with him and was thus more experienced (in addition to sparing their sons psychologically). However, another more plausible source in the exhibition "Les Amis de Gracchus Babeuf" suggests that Babeuf obtained a wire which he worked and sharpened. I believe this version.

P.S. Here is a letter of escape attempt from Babeuf to his wife: "There is only one guard in the small courtyard at the end; we must win him over, and we will take him with us to Paris. He will be received as the liberator of the friends of the people. He must come from six to eight in the evening. We will leave through the house you know. For the first signal, the liberator must whistle the victory song at noon or later that day, and in the evening, at the desired moment, he will strike the ground three times successively with the butt of his rifle. Answer me as we agreed, citoyenne."

This is a code, taking the first word of each line and the last word of each line (his wife, his political right-hand, imprisoned for taking care of his subscriptions and who continued to have problems with the Napoleonic police, in concert with their friend Antonelle).

Félix Le Peletier will keep his word to Babeuf and protect his family, being a close friend. But Félix Le Peletier, during his escape (under Bonaparte), prefers to send letters directly to the Paris authorities after his escape, as you can see here: https://www.tumblr.com/nesiacha/766244583584694272/f%C3%A9lix-lepeletier-de-saint-fargeau-un-personnage?source=share instead of send letter like Babeuf to try to escape .

To tell the truth, I had planned to write a piece on the relationship between Babeuf and Robespierre and then compile it with the other posts I made about him this week. But I am still missing some information in anticipation of Babeuf's anniversary, which is today. It’s not a big deal, I’ll take a little delay.

[mariacallous]

I spent the evening in candlelight and tears with a dear friend who just learned that a close family member was among those massacred in Israel. I won’t name the kibbutz to protect her privacy but yes, it was unequivocally a massacre.

We tried to explain the killing of this family member – a civilian with two kids – to our kids. We tried to do it in a way that would not fill their young hearts with fear and hatred for the people who committed the crime. That was hard enough, but possible. Harder for us adults is the fact that, in their desire to celebrate the powerful symbolism of Palestinians escaping the open air prison that is Gaza — which occupied people have every right to do — some of our supposed comrades on the left continue to minimize massacres of Israeli civilians, and in some extreme cases, even seem to celebrate them.

In fact these callous displays are a gift to militant Zionism, since they neatly shore up and reconfirm its core and governing belief: that the non-Jewish world hates Jews and always will – look, even the bleeding-heart left is making excuses for our killers and thinks that Jewish kids and old ladies deserved death merely by living in Israel.

For Zionist believers (I’m not one of them), Jew-hatred is the central rationale for why Israel must exist as a nuclear-armed fortress. Within this worldview, antisemitism is cast as a primordial force that cannot be weakened or confronted. The world will always turn away from us in our hour of need, Zionism tells us, just as it did during the Holocaust, which is why force alone is presented as the only conceivable response to any and all threats.

The Israeli state’s current murderous leveling of Gaza is the latest, unspeakably horrific manifestation of this ideology, and there will be more in the coming days. The responsibility for these crimes of collective punishment rests solely with their perpetrators and their financial and military backers abroad. But we all have to figure out how to make it stop.

So how do we confront this violent ideology? For one thing, we can recognize that when Israeli Jews are killed in their homes and it is celebrated by people who claim to be anti-racists and anti-fascists, that is experienced as antisemitism by a great many Jews. And antisemitism (besides being hateful) is the rocket fuel of militant Zionism.

What could lessen its power, drain it of some of that fuel? True solidarity. Humanism that unites people across ethnic and religious lines. Fierce opposition to all forms of identity-based hatred, including antisemitism. An international left rooted in values that side with the child over the gun every single time, no matter whose gun and no matter whose child. A left that is unshakably morally consistent, and does not mistake that consistency with moral equivalency between occupier and occupied. Love.

It’s certainly worth a try. In these difficult times, I’d like to be part of a left like that.

[teriwrites]

Below (Rewrite): Part 4

My Live Reactions to Reading My 2012 Novel

‘Instead of breaking out the Thursday after Shawna died -she died on a Tuesday- we changed our day to the Sunday.’ real question: how do you track days in an underground prison?

‘Being a bit distracted, I didn’t notice the wall until I slammed into it. Note to self: don’t look behind you as you’re trying to escape.’ lol

Apparently no guards are bothering to watch as these five kids practice their parkour

‘everyone knew [I was a league leader] because of a tattoo of an eye on my bare arm.’ WHAT??? I don’t remember Kristen being tatted lmaooo

“Nicole, if you don’t eat this food, you will die. I will make sure that you are murdered. Take the tray from me or go to bed hungry and never taste food again. I promise you that you’ll never escape me. Take the tray, now.” yk, the normal way to convince someone to eat their dinner

‘I had a feeling Nicole didn’t want visitors right now.’ what gives you that idea?? The slamming door?? The refusal to talk to you??

‘The feeling I had was darn near depression, which startled me a bit.’ I am Cackling at this line, you could’ve lifted this directly from my 14-year-old diary. The ‘darn near’, the ‘startling a bit’. Perfect 14-year-old Teri sentence

Nicole standing in the doorway as Kristen tries to sleep, totally not gonna give me nightmares tonight

I truly cannot get a beat on where Nicole’s at - is she struggling with her sanity?? Is she plotting everyone’s downfall?? What’s happening with her?? How did she find her way to Kristen’s room???

“Well, Kristen, I suppose that I can escort you back to your room. Still, don’t escort insane asylum patients back to their cells without permission from a scientist, okay?” what a sentence

There is So much open discussion of their plan to escape in full hearing range of so many people

Worst Scientist is having a birthday party awwww

He really doesn’t wanna be here

‘Scott always insisted that he come down to the cafeteria on his birthday and give a speech. Every year it was a very depressing speech.’ pfft

Wow, 45, he’s like actually middle-aged and not, like, 27

Nick appears to have gone missing

If I read the words ‘heading out tomorrow’ one more time, my head’s gonna explode

“I’d rather talk to a wall than with you.” nice, talk your shit

“I’d rather spend time with seven billion mosquitoes than spend time with you.” okay… maybe a little overkill, that

Raevin lectures Trinity on ‘catching men’ AKA tries shaming her for being a flirt, Trinity an unbothered queen

“I grew up, Raevin, which tends to happen. Trust me, I remember that time when I was carefree, but everyone grows up. Now, I’m still Benny, but I’m a much more mature Benny.” you’re 22. Also, you’re comparing yourself to the guy you were 2 weeks ago. Also also, you’re arguing with a 14-year-old

‘It was only sixteen miles to jog.’ oh, a casual jaunt then!

There’s a chill in the air… in the afternoon… in summer… in ALABAMA

Ahhhh, here are the infamous Alabama grasslands I remember writing about

Oh wait, Raevin can turn into a horse… I was picturing a 14-year-old hauling her way 16 miles

‘Horses didn’t appeal to her that much.’ Raevin trying desperately to avoid the horse girl accusations

Once again, Auburn was FAR from the largest city in the state, I have no idea where I got this information from lol

Literally this city (Montgomery, the capital) was like 4x its size at the time

In this draft, Raevin can’t travel through time, but she essentially has a perfect memory

‘Teenagers her age were not mature enough for her to hang around with, and she wasn’t going to go out of her way to meet any.’ Raevin please

Raevin about to get captured by the Institute agents bc she decided the day before Mr. J’s heist to spend the day trotting a whole ass city away

Big Evil Prison Institution disguises itself as a Pharmaceutical company *cough cough*

Okay she didn’t get captured, but she’s pretty shaken up by the whole thing

Ending Thoughts:

A shorter section today, jotted down while on my lunch break. Again, we're seeing more of Raevin and her life prior to meeting the gang than I remember ever writing! She takes casual solo trips to the state capital and runs across the plains of Alabama (I swear I actually set this book in Oklahoma and didn't realize lmao) Sounds like we're gearing up here for the confrontation of the two groups. I can't wait to see this draft's take on escaping the Institute, since apparently it's such a different set-up than the previous building.

[wanderer-on-the-steppe]

Has anyone from the Ogniem i mieczem fandom seen this movie?

Let’s say I’ve been having… an interesting evening with it recently ;) Something I’ve always wanted to see or read was a movie/book with a Helena Czaplińska who’s both an alluring spy and a truly tragic character: someone who’s struggling with guilt and conflicting loyalties, and, much like Kmicic, is longing for redemption, but – unlike him – genuinely cannot decide what the right path is and just gets bogged down more and more hopelessly in a dilemma she cannot solve. Because whatever the historical truth might have been – from a fictional point of view, the most fascinating answer to the question: “Has she been spying on Khmelnytsky or did she truly love him?” is certainly: both.

So, when this movie promised to have some of this approach, I didn’t care much for not so enthusiastic reviews – I had to watch it. And then spent a considerable part of the movie wishing I could see the same events with the OiM-Khmelnytsky and another Helena. Or maybe not even another, but one that’s been given more room: more lines of dialogue (or more substantial ones), more glimpses into her past / her state of mind / her thinking, more opportunities to make the audience understand. For even though I got just enough of an impression of her to feel sorry for her in the end (and to believe her when she told Khmelnytsky’s son Tymish that the only person she’d ever loved was his father) I still don’t feel like I know her. And of course, when one doesn’t understand something in a movie, it can be rather difficult to say if it’s really not in there or if one just… didn’t get it – so I’d be very interested in opinions of others who have seen it ;) – but while I’ve seen movies where I had a strong suspicion that I was, indeed, not clever enough, here I felt like something was missing.

It’s not even completely clear to me when her decision to become a spy was made. Already before she married him? The scene at the king’s residence, about there being a spy close to Khmelnytsky that he trusts, suggests so – but that, as far as I can see, would leave her motivation completely in the dark. Whereas if the decision is taken later, one gets at least a few pieces in the puzzle in the form of her worry for her home country and a marriage that turns out much more difficult than she had imagined. But even then I feel like there could have been so much more. Because… she’s surprised (and offended) that he can’t just retire to a life of dancing and amusements in the middle of a war? Seriously?? I mean, even that wouldn’t necessarily make the character implausible – shallowness exists, and has its reasons, and just a hint of Helena trying to hurl herself headlong into it to escape the trauma of her past could turn her into a character that does have depth but desperately tries to ignore it, for fear of the things that are lurking there. The disappointing thing is: there isn’t even a hint. Or at least I can’t see one.

And Khmelnytsky himself? I’ll readily admit I’m very attached to Bohdan Stupka’s interpretation of him, and of course it’s not the movie’s fault that it’s different from that, but… I feel like there’s so much untapped potential. In both of the main characters. For while we do get to know Bohdan better then Helena, I’ve got the impression that, with very few exceptions, they tried so meticulously to avoid all his flaws that the result is not quite believable anymore. The most striking example: the very honourable duel with Czapliński after Khmelnytsky discovered him among the prisoners of war. Not that I’m especially keen on seeing what I think would have happened – in fact, I’m rather glad that I did not have to see it – the thing is: it wasn’t even necessary to turn Khmelnytsky into a stickler for honourable correctness to avoid a potentially disturbing scene. All they would have had to do is to not let him capture the guy. The historical Khmelnytsky never did so anyway. And that’s exactly why it seems like the only reason for this duel is to show how incredibly fair and correct Khmelnytsky is, and… Oh well… let’s just say there’ve been very different stories ;)

It’s not like I don’t understand the patriotic reasons that might be behind some choices in this movie, but – seeing it from the point of view of storytelling – taking away everything objectionable in a character until what remains doesn’t feel like them anymore doesn’t help. Because it’s vivid, believable, fascinating characters that get people interested in the history behind a movie if they aren’t already. And it’s not like the OiM-Khmelnytsky didn’t have his sense of honour too – he did, towards Jan, and I love this aspect of him – but at the same time, there was no doubt that he was goddamn dangerous and that there would be situations when he would not play fair. And I think he needs some of that to be recognisably himself, because you can make a character somewhat more likeable than their historical self and still make it feel believable (which is exactly what they did in OiM) – but only so much. More of it, and it doesn’t become more likeable, it just becomes... flat.

Still, though I can hardly stop myself from rambling about all the things that I wish they’d done differently, I don’t want to make it seem like everything about this movie is bad from beginning to end. It’s not. The reunion in the tent, after Helena left Czapliński? Beautiful scene, both aesthetically and as far as their interaction and Khmelnytsky’s unanswered questions are concerned. Tymish? Understandably furious and mistrustful of her for marrying Czapliński after witnessing what this man did to his brother. And while I personally tend to have a much darker opinion of him, that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate an interpretation that shows me how I could be wrong and how he could still arrive at doing what he did. And the one thing I really have to give this movie credit for is the scene where Khmelnytsky realises he’s been betrayed: this incredible rage that’s so violent and still so utterly, undeniably helpless. That feeling of getting news that shatters everything, and being unable to believe it – but having to. This they’ve really done perfectly.

So... anyone here who has seen it?

[sadnesslaughs]

One day you're arrested for trying to escape from prison. When you ask what they mean, apparently you were sentenced to 12 consecutive life sentences in your past life.

(A response to a writing prompt)

“You.” The alien guard pointed their single thin finger at me, directing me out of the spaceport’s line. I threw up my hands in that typical annoyed fashion that most customers gave after being inconvenienced, making a small song and dance out of the situation. Inside, I was shitting myself. Why was I being singled out? Did I accidentally pack a teleporter in my suitcase or leave a Blackhole ray rolling about in it? Even if those two things didn’t exist, my anxious mind was still convinced they could have somehow materialized just to get me into trouble.

“Yes?” I asked, standing by his side. Ew, The Vapia’s were always hard to look at. Tall, thin alienoids with fat palms that held only a single finger that they waved around like a magic wand. Their silver skin grainy, looking like sandpaper. I would usually have felt rude for thinking something like that, but I saw his finger retract back into his palm, clearly as repulsed by me as I was by him. Guess that’s what happens when you’re dealing with a new alien race. Humans and Vapia’s had only met fifty or so years ago, so neither party had gotten used to this whole interaction thing.

“You’re leaving your designated prison. Do you have an exemption pass?” He impatiently tapped his foot on the floor, as if I was the one ruining his day. What prison? Last I checked, Earth wasn’t classified as a prison, only as uninhabitable. Which wasn’t a prison, technically.

“I’m a human. This is my home.” I said sharply, before feeling my tone might have been a little too much. “It’s ok, I forgive you for the misunderstanding.” I tried to be as friendly as possible, offering my passport to the man, who only leaned into the microphone by his neck. “We have a code 204. Going to need a superior officer. Someone that has notes on Subject 20S2’s file would be appreciated.” After that quick conversation, he gave me a nod. “Wait, a little longer.”

“Seriously? My flights in like four hours! I need to get in there and grab lunch.” Sure, four hours wasn’t really rush time, but I hoped the alien might have just felt awkward about my urgency and let me through. People sometimes didn’t think too deeply about things when a person looked stress.

“Plenty of time.” He murmured. So, we stood there, not even engaging in small talk. As aliens and humans passed, they gave me dirty looks. Like I was some space pirate who had been caught mid raid, rather than a poor soul that got caught up in some accidental incident.

The superior officer sauntered over before studying me. After a quick stare, she pulled out a small scanner. “I’m officer Atioa, Open your mouth.” She gave the order and waved her finger. I had forgotten all about their telekinetic abilities, my mouth being forced open as she pressed the scanner against my tongue, waiting until she heard a chiming beep! Pulling the device away, she discussed the results with her other officer in their own language.

“So, can I go?” I asked, rubbing my jaw, feeling a little sore after that. I wonder if I can sue them for that? Might at least get a free lunch voucher or something from the spaceport for the harassment.

“No, prisoner 20S2, you cannot leave. You were sentenced to twelve life sentences, don’t you remember?” She stated, as if that was something I should remember.

“No? What do you mean, twelve? How can I serve twelve? You only live once…..”

“Not with our race. It seems you tried to cheat the system by reincarnating into a human body. Did you think you would be able to avoid our detection by hiding amongst the humans? In a way, it was clever. We kept you imprisoned on our planet for eight life cycles. So, you moved to Earth, assuming we wouldn’t track you. We did, however, track you, and we altered your prison sentence to be undertaken on Earth. You really don’t remember this?”

“That is a really fascinating story, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Perhaps the change into a human body removed his memories? He seems far more dense than Blood Hand.” The other guard muttered.

“Blood Hand? That sounds cool. Maybe I am Blood Hand? I have that bad boy attitude. You know a Trixqlian said I was the baddest human she had met. Weird thing to say at a shooting range, but I think she was totally into me.” I puffed my chest out, remembering that day fondly. It had been going so poorly, too. I hadn’t made a shot all day, and she flirts with me. Guess I made one shot after all.

“Blood Hand murdered over two hundred people.” Atioa grimly stated, glaring down at me.

“Ah, then I’m not him. I’m a bad shot, can’t hit anything. I can’t even find my gun half the time. It’s a hunting gun too. Not a killing people gun, although I suppose you could kill people with it. BUT I DON’T.” I was sweating, feeling the two aliens peering down at me before muttering again amongst themselves.

After their discussion, they turned to me. “We don’t know what to make of you. You don’t look like a threat and we don’t believe this is an act. Blood Hand would never allow himself to look this stupid. If it’s true you lost all your memories, then perhaps we will need to review your sentence. As it stands, you cannot travel until that process is finalized.” Even if Atioa’s words weren’t ideal. It was better than being dragged away to some secret alien interrogation facility.

“Sure. When should I expect an update?”

“Fifty years at the earliest.” The other guard said, clearly not understanding human lifespans.

“I’ll be nearly dead by then. Can’t we speed this up?” I asked, hoping to clear up this misunderstanding.

“If we find something substantial in our investigation, we will inform you earlier. Until then, remain on your prison planet.” Atioa left, and the other guard returned to his duty, leaving me standing awkwardly in the spaceport. I doubt I was going to even get a refund for this, since being an alien criminal in a past life wasn’t on the insurance policy. Still, it was better than any alternatives. At least I still had two weeks off work, even if it was now going to be spent lounging around the house, watching alien dramas on tv.

[jwaldbewohner]

"Every Dark Cloud Has A Silver Lining"-Several People Found Good Luck On Teh Day Of The 9-11 Attack Almost 23 Years ago

In a little over a month, we will mark the 23rd anniversary of the 9-11 attack. On that day, I will go into extensive detail about this catastrophic event. There is a saying that applies this morning as follows:

     "Every dark cloud has a silver lining."

    A few people besides the terrorist organization behind the attack and its sponsors had a good day that day. There were some people in the New York area sitting in jail and on bond. They were charged with firearms violations, arson, making bombs, etc. They were certain to end up with prison sentences ranging from 5 years to 10 years. The US Department of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (ATF) had brought these cases. When the jet airliners struck the two high-rise buildings, all the paper files relating to these prosecutions and pending investigations were destroyed. In the days before digital backup of files, the pending cases were nullified. Those already in prison and with appeals pending most likely had to be released from jail because their case file had been incinerated. To this day, the ATF has not officially commented on the number of people released from charges and prison as a result of this attack.

   There was another group of people happy because they had been given a second chance in life. Many people who had survived the attack were declared dead by mistake. Probably most of these people called their loved ones with the good news that they had survived the attack. Fewer people realized that they had been given a marvelous opportunity to start over their lives. People in this category included those with the following problems:

1) Those with massive child support debts.

2) Those with massive tax debts.

3) Those with massive personal debts.

4) Those with a toxic family situation that they could not escape from.

5) Those with massive litigation pending or with large judgments against them.

    There can be other circumstances. You can "fill in the blanks here." Let us put ourselves in the shoes of one of these people who decided to start their lives over again. On the day of the attack, you are left with the clothes on your back and the cash in your wallet or purse. You cannot use your credit cards, bank cards, or bank accounts. If you are going to transition to your new life, someone must help you. This helper will drive you far away from New York City and shelter you in a place where you cannot be traced. They will be your source of financial support for the short term. You have two options to transition to your new life. The first option is completely lawful. You go to some small town far away from New York City. You go through the legal process to change your name. When your name is changed, you get a new birth certificate. You go to the local DMV and obtain a state identity document with your picture on it. You apply to the Social Security Administration for a new Social Security number. You contact all the schools that you attended. You get the name on your educational record changed. You develop a new work history. You decide on where you are going to start your new life over again.

    The second option is unlawful. Your helper goes to a large city like New York, Chicago, Houston, etc. In those days one would go through voluminous microfiche records. The goal is to find an infant that was born and died soon thereafter. When the right candidate was located, a copy of the infant's birth certificate would be obtained. You would go to the local DMV. You would obtain a state identity card in the new name with your picture on it. The next step would be applying for a social security number. Building an education and employment history would be a challenge.

   Some 6,400 jurisdictions in the US issue both certificates and death certificates. It is claimed that birth records and death records are now cross-referenced as is the case in Europe. I am skeptical of this claim. All those years ago, not all states required you to give a thumbprint to get an official state identity card. Facial recognition software was not even dreamed of.

    If you did not contact people from your past life or commit a criminal offense leading to your arrest, you were on your way to a second chance in life.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"ESCAPES FROM DON," Toronto Star. July 7, 1934. Page 27. --- Joseph Frolick, who escaped from the Don jail by scaling the wall yesterday. /// "SIX PLOTTED ESCAPE JAIL GOVERNOR SAYS," Toronto Star. July 7, 1933. Page 27. ---- Denning Convinced Fugitive Got Help From Outside Institution's Walls ---- FROLICK HAD AID? ---- Declares Plan Discovered Two Weeks Ago, and Precautions Taken --- Joseph Frolick, who escaped from Toronto jail yesterday and is still at large, is only one of six prisoners who was to have made a getaway from that institution had not plans gone awry, Governor Harry Denning revealed to The Star to-day as police all over the province searched for the 20-year-old fugitive is under a five-year penitentiary sentence.

The details of the daring jail break plan were learned by Governor Denning two weeks ago, but in spite of all precautions taken, Frolick succeeded in escaping with the aid of someone outside the jail, the governor is certain.

The delivery was slated for the time when the men were exercising in the yard, Mr. Denning said. An automobile was to drive up the lane- way beside the jail and, at a signal, a rope was to be thrown over the wall, and the six men, including Frolick, were to swarm over and be rushed away in the car.

"Frolick and two of the others involved had records," the governor said. "One was an American, and one had done time in Kingston. separated the men, Frolick I put in another part of the jail altogether. How he got away yesterday we have still to learn. One thing is certain: he couldn't get over the wall alone."

"Just Evaporated" "You have no idea how he made his get-away?" The Star asked. "He just evaporated," was the reply. "I don't even know if a rope was used." This is the first escape from the jail since the present governor took office three years ago and he is sparing no effort to learn how it was staged.

"Did you notify the city or provincial police of the plot to escape at the time you discovered it?" "No. I handled the matter myself. I broke up the gang and scattered them."

"Did you put guards outside to watch the walls?" "No."

"How many prisoners were in the exercise yard yesterday with Frolick?" "About 12."

After scaling the wall. Frolick dashed down the hillside and, hiding himself in a clump of bushes, removed the tell-tale jail uniform, leaving the striped brown and blue pants and coat behind him. He sped in a northerly direction, clad only in underwear and shorts.

Relief workers working on the roadway in Riverdale park were not amazed, however, at seeing the lightly-garbed man sweating down the road on the run. "We thought he was a marathon runner," several of them explained to The Star.

Frolick was convicted on June 5 of shopbreaking, theft and receiving. The sentence was to date from April 17.

"Happened in a Flash" "I did not see Frolick go over the wall-I cannot tell you how he escaped; he just vanished; he even left his shoes in the yard," stated George Cartwright, guard at the jail who had charge of the 12 prisoners in the exercise yard when Frolick escaped.

"I was standing in the doorway of one of the wings of the building as the men were walking around the pathway for exercise. As Frolick passed me he just jumped out of the line over on the northwest side and vanished. It happened in a flash."

"How could he get over a 20-foot wall alone?" The Star asked Cartwright. "That is a mystery," he replied. "There was no trace of a ladder or a rope.

"It was very warm-and I had just stepped into the doorway to get out of the sun. When I discovered he wan missing I walked the rest into the jail and told the governor."

Cartwright said he has worked for 10 years as a guard and it is the first time he has ever lost a man.

"I am suspended now, and I have a wife and family to look after," he added.

A man suspected of being Frolick was seen by a citizen on Eglinton Ave. to-day. He telephoned police, and police cars were rushed to the district but found no trace of the fugitive.

How long the suspension would be for, Governor Denning did not say.

Police describe the fugitive as five feet ten inches in height, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes. He was born in Poland, is twenty years of age and, despite his youth, has had six previous convictions.

Police state that Frolick was in the jail yard during the exercise period, and was dressed in the prison garb. Governor Denning stated that he did not know how it would be possible for him to escape over the 20-foot wall.

Usual Haunts Watched It was learned that the prisoner scaled the wall at the Gerrard St. side and went from there through a lane and into Riverdale Park.

Governor Denning, with jail guards and police from the eastern divisions are scouring the vicinity of the jail for traces of the prisoner without success.

Frolick's usual haunts are known to police and are under constant surveillance.

Frolick was one of five men convicted on charges of housebreaking and receiving stolen goods during the recent sessions. Four charges were registered against him, on three of which he was convicted.

Given a jury trial he was found guilty on May 22 of breaking into R. J. Siberry's store on Danforth Ave. and stealing clothing, etc.. valued at about $2.000, of breaking into the premises of Caulfield. Burns and Gibson, clothing manufacturers on Spadina Ave. and stealing silks and cloths valued at $2.000, and of breaking into Glass Brothers store on Spadina Ave.

Continuous Crime "You have had a continuous criminal career since you were able to know anything," Judge O'Connell told him in pronouncing sentence. you continue it will be necessary "If to impose the maximum sentence the law allows."

Inspector of Detectives Chisholm Joined Governor Denning as soon a he heard of the jail break and is assisting him in directing the search for the missing prisoner. He is confident that Frolick will soon be apprehended.

Those charged with Frolick were Tusher, Peter Kuchmyk and Max Walsh. John Klim and Joseph Fromstein, originally charged with them, turned crown's evidence. Klim was given eighteen months after pleading guilty to one charge. Fromstein was discharged. The three others received penitentiary terms.

[More about Frolick's conviction]

[summarychannel]

America shock Israel's defeat has become closer to reality after the military failure of the Israeli army in the Gaza war

Updates on the Al-Aqsa Flood operation presented in this episode of Samri Channel. The beginning of the continued criticism directed at the United States of America after it used its veto power against a draft ceasefire resolution inside the Gaza Strip that the Security Council discussed last Friday. Saudi Foreign Minister Prince Faisal bin Farhan said that what is currently happening in the Gaza Strip is like an unprecedented massacre. He also considered what was happening unjustified under any pretext of self-defense. Bin Farhan expressed his disagreement with the position of America, which used its veto power against the draft ceasefire resolution in Gaza, and said during an interview with “PBS NewsHour”: “Unfortunately, we see that ceasefire has become a bad word, and I cannot understand that.” He also pointed out that He expressed his disappointment that the Security Council was unable to take a firm position on the issue. These statements came after the United States, yesterday evening, Friday, aborted the hope of hundreds of thousands of displaced and wounded Palestinians, who had gathered in the southern besieged Gaza Strip to escape the violent Israeli bombardment, as a result of its use of its veto power. Against Article 99 of the United Nations Charter for a ceasefire in the Gaza Strip. Since the outbreak of the war, the fighting has only stopped for a period of seven days, during which the exchange of prisoners and detainees and allowing the entry of some insufficient humanitarian aid into the Gaza Strip.

On the other hand, writers Tony Carson and Daniel Levy concluded in their article that Israel is in the process of losing the battle it is leading against Hamas in the Gaza Strip, considering that Hamas, with its limited numbers and equipment, has become a rival to Tel Aviv. Carson and Levy pointed out in an article published by “The Nation” website that just thinking about this matter seems “a kind of absurdity,” especially since a group of irregular armed men, whose number does not exceed tens of thousands, are besieged and have little ability to... Having access to advanced weapons, they became a counterpart to one of the most powerful armies in the world, supported and armed by the United States of America. Despite all these qualities of the Israeli army, a growing number of strategic analysts in the military establishment warn that Israel may lose this war against the Palestinians, despite the catastrophic violence it has unleashed since the “Al-Aqsa Flood” attack on October 7th.

 The authors' article pointed out that by provoking the Israeli attack, Hamas may be in the process of achieving many of its political goals. The article stated that both Israel and Hamas seem to be resetting the terms of their political competition not to the status quo that existed before October 7, but to the status quo that existed in 1948. It is not clear what will come next, but There will be a return to the previous situation. According to the article. The surprise attack neutralized Israeli military installations, broke down the gates of the world's largest open-air prison, and caused a horrific rampage in which some 1,200 Israelis were killed, at least 845 of whom were civilians.

 The article published by The Nation added: “The shocking ease with which Hamas penetrated Israeli lines around the Gaza Strip reminded many of the Tet Offensive (in Vietnam) in 1968.” He added: “Not literally, as there are vast differences between the American war of intervention in a distant land and the Israeli war to defend its occupation at home, which is waged by an army of citizens driven by a sense of existential danger. Instead, the benefit of this analogy lies in the political logic that constitutes an attack.” "The rebels."

The article continued: “In 1968, the Vietnamese revolutionaries lost the battle and sacrificed much of the secret political and military infrastructure they had carefully built over years. However, the Tet Offensive was considered a key and defining moment in their defeat of the United States – even if at great cost.” In the souls of the Vietnamese. Hence the lament of the late Henry Kissinger in 1969: “We fought a military war, our opponents fought a political battle. We sought physical exhaustion. Our opponents aimed to exhaust us psychologically.

Finally, Israeli officer Eyal Meir Berkowitz was killed during the ongoing battles with the Palestinian resistance in the northern Gaza Strip. The Israeli army reported on its website that 28-year-old Berkovitch from Jerusalem was killed last Thursday as part of the 699th Battalion, Haggai Formation 551. The Hebrew media did not directly mention that the officer who was killed was the same person responsible for the bombing of a house dedicated to his daughter in Gaza, but a photo was published. Berkowitz, who matches the author of the famous video, which sparked great anger on social media. Earlier, an Israeli officer broadcast a video clip during the countdown to the bombing of a house in Khan Yunis, and commented on it, saying: “This bombing is a dedication to my little princess Ellie on her second birthday.” It then appears that a multi-storey residential building in the Gaza Strip was exposed to an explosion enormous.

#Egypt #Palestine #Gaza #America

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible

by J.R. Miller

Elijah Discouraged and Restored (1 Kings 19:1-16)

It is little wonder that Jezebel was furious, when she learned from Ahab of the slaughter of her priests. She vowed vengeance upon Elijah. “May the gods also kill me if by this time tomorrow I have failed to take your life like those whom you killed!” It was a trying hour for Elijah, and for once he flinched.

“So you intend to be a reformer, young man?” asked an old peer of young Wilberforce. “That is the end of reformers,” he continued, pointing to a picture of Jesus on His cross. Those who would contend with error must always expect opposition, possibly persecution, possibly death! To be a bold confessor anywhere is to face enmity, sneers, reproach. Even Christian boys at school or at work will ofttimes have to endure petty persecutions if they remain true to their Master.

We have been accustomed to think of Elijah as a man who would flinch before nothing. But we are disappointed this time in our man. “Elijah was afraid and fled for his life!” Possibly he did right, We are not required always to face danger. There are times when it would be foolhardy to do so, when we would only be throwing away our life. Jesus said to His disciples, “When they persecute you in this city flee into the next.” On several occasions, in the earlier days of His ministry, Jesus Himself withdrew from danger, because His hour had not yet come. There are times, of course, when we must stand and not flee. At the last, when His hour had come, Jesus made no effort to escape from His enemies but quietly yielded Himself into their hands. There are times in every life when to flee from danger would be cowardice and treason to the Master. But we have no right to sacrifice our life unless it be clearly in obedience to the divine call. We cannot blame Elijah, therefore, for fleeing from the wrath of Jezebel.

In what followed, however, we cannot defend the prophet. Not only did he flee but he became panic - stricken. “Then he went on alone into the desert, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors!” He was in a state of sad despondency. It was not fright that produced this condition of mind it was discouragement. It seemed to him that all he had done, all the struggle at Mount Carmel, had come to nothing. There are few things we need to guard against more carefully, than discouragement. When once we allow ourselves to come under its influence, we are made weak. Our hope and courage fail.

In every line of life we find discouraged people, and the discouragement takes away much of their power for work. It surely is a sad picture this greatest and bravest of all the old prophets, lying there under a little bush in the wilderness, begging to die!

There are many other illustrations of similar experience in godly men. John the Baptist, lying in prison in the castle of Machaerus, began to question whether, after all, Jesus, whom he had baptized and upon whom he had seen the Spirit descending, was indeed the promised Messiah. Luther, another Elijah in his bravery before rulers, once became so depressed that all joy left him. It is said that one morning, when he was in this mood, his wife came down to breakfast dressed in deep mourning. Luther looked up in amazement, and said, “Who is dead?” His wife answered: “Why, do you not know? God is dead.” He reproved her for her words. “How can God die? He is eternal.” “Yet,” she replied, “from the way you are cast down one would think God must be dead.” Then Luther saw what a wise woman his wife was, and mastered his mood.

Elijah was a man of prayer. He is mentioned in the Epistle of James as an example of a righteous man, whose supplication availed much in its working. Here, however, his prayer for death was not answered. It was well for Elijah, too, that the prayer was not answered. If he had died there what an inglorious ending of life it would have been! As it was, however, he lived to do further glorious work, to see great results, and instead of dying in the wilderness, missed death altogether.

It is never right to wish ourselves dead. People are sometimes heard expressing such a wish but it is always wrong. Life is God’s gift to us, a sacred trust for which we shall have to give account. As long as God keeps us living He has something for us to do. Our prayers should be for grace to bear our burden and do our duty bravely unto the end.

Any discouraging experience, and the things we think have failed us may cast down into despondency. But the things we think have failed us are often only slowly ripening into rich success. Thus the night of discouragement passes away and the day of blessing follows. We have but to be faithful and to wait and in the end we shall always rejoice.

It was only a little bush under which Elijah crept, and its shadow furnished but scant protection from the heat. Yet a blessing came to him there. He slept. “He gives His beloved sleep ,” writes the psalmist. Sleep is a wonderful blessing. God hides us away in the darkness, and while we sleep, he brings gifts of life to us. He fills up again the wasted fountains of life, and we rise in the morning renewed and strong, ready for new service.

It was only a little juniper bush under which the prophet slept that day. There is another tree under which God’s discouraged ones may find real and true comfort the tree of Calvary. Angels come there, too, with their sweet refreshment and gentle ministry. There food is furnished to satisfy the soul’s deepest craving. There all blessings of mercy and grace are dispensed. A story is told of one who fled from a gathering storm, taking refuge under a great tree. He was both hungry and thirsty. On the tree he found fruit for his hunger, at the tree’s roots a spring of water gushed out, and there he quenched his thirst. Just so, under the cross we find not only shelter but also food and drink. When we are in any trouble we should go and sit down in the shadow of the cross of Christ, and we will find there all we need of divine comfort and help.

When he had slept for a time, an angel came and touched him, and bade him arise and eat. Here, again, we see God’s loving gentleness. First, sleep, with its refreshment; then food. God did not cast off His servant because he was so discouraged and depressed. He followed him in his flight and kept watch over him all the way. There is great comfort in this fact for us. God is very patient with us in our weakness and failure. He gave Elijah sleep, and then food, until his exhausted nature was refreshed. Very much spiritual depression is caused by the condition of the body. Ofttimes the best cure for despondency, is sleep and food until the nerves are quiet and the body is restored to healthy conditions.

The prophet was strengthened, and “went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights.” When we have long journeys to take, God prepares us for them. When hard experiences lie before us, we are divinely fitted for meeting them. Whenever God sends us on any journey, into whatever desert it may be He will make provision that we faint not by the way. Many people whose lot in life is hard go through the days with cheerful, songful spirit because every morning, in prayer, God gives them food which makes them strong for the journey. Those who feed upon the Word of God are strengthened for the journey of life.

While Elijah was in the cave in the mountain, God came to him. This was still part of his work of restoration. Elijah was discouraged, and God would bring him back to his usual gladness and hope. He came to him in the stillness and asked him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” When we find our friends in great sorrow, the best thing we can do for them ofttimes is to give them an opportunity to open their hearts. That was what God did here He asked this question that Elijah might unburden himself. Of course, God knew all about Elijah’s discouragement; but it did the prophet good to tell it. We need never be afraid to open our heart to God, telling Him every anxiety, every care. He understands, and will never chide us. It will do us good to speak freely to Him, even if our fears are only imaginary.

Elijah had thought that he was alone in his loyalty and courage in standing for the Lord. He had thought himself the only loyal follower of Jehovah. No other one had had courage to come out and make himself known that day on Mount Carmel. This made it all the harder for Elijah. It is easy to fight in company with other men but to face the enemy alone, is the sublimest test of a soldier’s courage. The real test of a Christian life is not in church services, nor in a Christian home but where the believer must stand by himself. The young man who finds himself the only Christian clerk in the bank or the office, may find his duty hard. But this should only inspire him with fresh courage and strength. He is the only one Christ has in that place, and he dare not fail. Suppose Elijah had not stood for God that day, had flinched and fled, what would have been the consequence? We never know what may depend on our standing loyally and faithfully at our post, even in lowliest places.

The Lord continued to comfort His servant. He did it now in a wonderful parable in nature. A great wind tore the mountains but the Lord was not in the wind. An earthquake followed but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire but the Lord was not in the fire. “And after the fire a still small voice,” a sound of gentle stillness and that was God. Elijah had been discouraged by the failure of the startling work at Carmel, that it had not altogether crushed Baalism. The Lord shows him that noise is not the most stupendous quality of power, that it is not noise which makes the deepest impression. God works silently, without noise. It is the silent things, the unconscious influences of our lives, that make the deepest and most lasting impressions, and not the things which get advertised in the papers. Jesus was “a still small voice” in this world. He made no noise He did not strive nor cry out, neither was His voice heard in the streets. He did not break a bruised reed, so gentle was He in His movements. Yet that one sweet, quiet life, pouring forth its spirit of love, wrought more than has been wrought by all the armies of conquerors since the world began.

The Lord then sent Elijah on to other duties. “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat to succeed you as prophet.” Elijah was thus assured that other men in their turn would come upon the field, each one doing his part for the destruction of this terrible system of idolatry. No man’s work is complete in itself. Elijah did a part, and then Hazael and Jehu and Elisha, each coming in turn, did a part, until the destruction of Baalism was completed. All we have to do is the little fragment of duty which God gives to us. Others have gone before us and have done a part. Others will come after us and do another part. If we simply do our little portion in our own day we shall please God and bless the world.

[mothgardens]

Prefacing this by saying: I mean absolutely ZERO hate towards destiel truthers or people who don’t ship sastiel, but this is a shining opportunity for me to yap and yap and yap <3

Ok, so i’m currently on my second watch through of supernatural (currently im on 07x10), and I have noticed plenty of moments that make them ship-worthy, so:

Reasons I ship Sastiel, xoxo

1. Obviously i’m going to compare the Destiel first meeting to the Sastiel first meeting.

When Dean first saw Cas he attempted to stab him and attack him. He argued and threatened him. (I understand they thought he was a threat and all, but Dean’s attitude didn’t change for like half of season four)

Whereas when Sam first saw Cas he was in aw. He reached his hand out in hope, he stumbled on his words, and their handshake OMIGOD- Cas wrapping his hand over Sam’s, sandwiching the man’s hand in an embrace.

Sam was (probably, not definitely) the first nonviolent physical contact Cas got.

2. When Anna starts hunting Sam down and Cas says, “Because Sam is my friend” and “If you come near Sam Winchester, I’ll kill you”

3. In 05x13 “The Song Remains The Same”, Sam is far more worried about Cas than Dean is. Dean shows concern when he spots Cas, but after that it really doesn’t seem to bother him.

4. Cas being the first one to believe in Sam when it came to his strength to trap Lucifer into the cage.

5. Castiel CHOSE to raise Sam, it was an ORDER to raise Dean.

6. Cas being concerned over returning Sam’s soul through Death because of the possible effects, “i want Sam alive.” That line along with Cas being pissed at Dean for going through with the soul transfer bc it could have killed Sam.

7. Cas showing up immediately to Sam’s prays once his soul is returned. (I head-canon Cas never showed up for Soulless Sam bc he felt so much guilt at not having enough power to raise all of Sam).

8. Sam saying “I’d die for him” about Cas.

9. Cas saying the same perdition line to SAM in s6.

10. Sam still having hope in Cas (during his Godstiel arc) even when Dean is pissed off and unforgiving.

Sam praying to Cas and saying, “I don’t know if any part of you cares, but I think you’re still one us”

Cas showing up and begging Sam for help.

Now onto the segment of random Sastiel moments that live in my head rent free:

SEASON NINE SASTIEL IS THE SASTIEL OF SASTIEL !!!!

1. Dean letting a random ass angel (which he shouldn’t trust knowing his history with most angels) possess his brother through means of trickery and deceit.

Lest us not forget that possession is an allusion to noncon related content, and Dean gave permission to a stranger to do that to his brother. Said brother who has a history of losing his bodily autonomy, and hating it.

Then, Dean telling Cas that he cannot stay with them because it might reveal that “helpful” angel. Which is Dean sending Castiel off in his most vulnerable state (human) to just fend for himself (something Cas has no idea how to do properly).

Doesn’t sound too romantic to me <3

2. Cas being against Dean letting ANOTHER person (Crowley) possess Sam to get rid of Gadreel.

Cas reluctantly burning of Sam’s anti possession tattoo

3. Then Sam and Cas staying together after Dean has his “nobody needs me” speech and leaves

4. Literally all of 09x11, the quotes and scenes in this episode EAT.

i. the domesticity of the pb&j convo

ii. the intimacy of the healing scene right after that convo

iii. The fact Sam doesn’t get annoyed by Cas the way Dean does, he finds it more amusing and plays off it (like the “can i ask a question” “technically u just did” scene)

iv. “I want Gadreel to pay as much as you do, but nothing is worth losing you.”

v. “You know, being human didn’t just change my view of food, it changed my view of you.”

vi. “The only person who has screwed things up more consistently than you, is me.”

vii. THE FUCKING HUG AND FACE PAT UGH-

5. Also we should not forget the other Sastiel hugs, like the one (my favorite) when Dean and Sam escape the prison and Sam hugs Cas immediately. No hesitation.

6. Sam making up his and Castiel’s ship name

7. The iconic “go to my room and watch Netflix” line, plus a few others that point to Cas is staying with Sam in his room.

8. Cas and Sam being Jack’s dads (Dean is NOT)

i’m gonna end it here bc I totes can keep going, but I won’t <3

I legitimately don’t get sastiel, like we watched the same show right? Cas only has eyes for Dean.

[your-coffee-pal]

Carved In Softness

Pairing: Aether x (transmale)reader Warnings: Selfharm, implied (child) sa Wordcount: 2.4K Tags: (on ao3 (im too lazy to copy them)

A/N: This is a pretty heavy fic so pls do not read it if you cannot deal with the subjects.

Read on AO3

Nothing exactly brought me to this point, I would like to think it was a stacking of problems over time. But yet here I was, pathetically seeking release in the wrong ways.

The cold from the blade in my hand travelled through my hand into the rest of my body, I let the small blade dance between my fingers. Hoping it would distract me from creating more lines among the ones already decorating my body. My senses are at maximum, the birds outside the coloured window almost sounding like cannons in my ears. My breathing was heavier than I can ever remember, I could feel my blood rush through my body, filling my arms and legs. Waiting to get their escape. To receive their sweet release from the prison that was my body.

Slowly I hold the blade properly and drag it over my thigh. The sound of the blade dragging through skin and hair follicles makes the hairs on my body stand up. I see small bubbles of red pile on the lines, before they get too heavy and gravity dragged them down creating small streams of red that puddled onto the floor.

Line after line appears, my breathing doesn’t slow down. However the feeling of pain starts to take over and regret fills me, another failed attempt at getting better. you are such a fucking failure, this is why they did that to you While I keep decorating my body with more lines, tears slowly start to stream down my face.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY A question I could never answer, every time it was pushed to the front of my brain I could feel his hands roam around my body. Taking in every inch, every inch I did not allow to.

I am brought back to reality by a rapping on my door. “Are you okay”

fuck it’s Aether. Why is it always him and his stupid quintessence that know something is wrong

“Is it okay if I enter” Aether said

Panicked, I look around, there was no way I could hide the lines that decorated my arms and thighs. Not from him. I just let my body hang, slumped against the cold stone wall. My brain started to think of excuses, but there was no excuse strong enough that could explain my current state; blooded, tear stained and breathing heavy.

“You are not answering, I will just come in now. I give you 5 seconds” Aether spoke again.

New tears formed in my eyes, “5” I pull my legs up, my thighs and arms stinging in pain “4” the scabs opening again,”3” new blood slowly dripping down my body. “2” I let my head fall forward and rest against my knees. “1”. I clench my hand around the small blade.

I hear the door open. I curl up into myself more. “I’m sorry” I mutter out, over and over again while he carefully approaches me.

“Don’t worry little one” Aether whispers once he crouches down next to me, “there is nothing to be sorry about. I noticed distress coming from your room, that’s why I am here now.” His voice is soft.

“It’s stupid anyway, no need to worry. There is probably someone who needs you around more now.” I say, before a few choked sobs escape.

“I know it is not stupid, please let me help you” Aether says

Slowly I lift my head from my knees and look at Aether, tears still streaming down my face. “I’m sorry” I softly whisper again.

“What happened?” he quietly asks, nodding at the small puddles of blood around me. He reaches his hand out, but I stumble back, exposing the scars that decorate my body. “Oh sweetheart” he pulls his hand back.

Unsure of what to do, Aether stands up and wets a wash cloth, “Is it okay if I clean it?” he asks, turning back around. I softly nod, unfolding myself while Aether crouches down next to me again. “It may sting a little but I hope that is okay,” he says, carefully dragging the cloth along the streams of dried blood and forming scabs. I bite down on my lip, trying to ignore the pain. “I’m sorry but it is needed”

After a few minutes the wash cloth is covered in blood, but all the bleeding has stopped by now. “I’m sorry” I murmured yet again. “Do not be sorry little dove”, the pet name makes me fluster a bit, but I quickly return my attention to the room.

“I think I will just clean up the rest, I think others need you” I muttered.

“I am not leaving until I know you are truly fine, I care about you.” Aether explained calmly.

I let my head hang, “Why? Why do you care?” I whisper.

“My little bat, why wouldn't I care?” Aether reaches his hand out to lay on my shoulder but stops himself.

I stand up, trying to avoid his questioning gaze. “I don’t know, maybe because no one ever seemed to care about me, why would anyone do it now?”

“Maybe because you deserve to be cared for, the people in your past didn’t deserve you and they knew. Please let me be selfish and show how much I care about you. Even if it is for just a moment.” Aether whispers.

I finally look up at him, tears forming in my eyes again. A lump in my throat kept me from speaking, but my face told him enough. “Let it out, just let out all the emotion. I am here. I am not going to let you go.” Aether softly says, opening his arms to invite me for a hug.

I look at him, scared, unsure. He gives me a simple smile and nod and I basically fall into his arms, sobs wrecking my body. However the grip on the small blade in my hand loosens and it falls to the floor with a loud *clink*, my eyes widened. “What was that?” Aether asked, already turning to where the noise was. “N-nothing, don’t worry about it” I stutter out, my voice filled with fear. Aether turns his face to me, before turning back, his eyes darting over the floor until they stop on the small blade that lies behind him.

I stumble back as far as the small room allowed, looking in fear as Aether slowly picked up the bloodied blade. My heartbeat drowns out all noise around me, I can see Aether say something to me. My vision starts to blur from new tears, slowly I let myself sink to the floor again. “No no no no no no no no no” I keep repeating to myself, softly rocking myself back and forth. Aether crouches down next to me again. He places his hand on my shoulder, “Slowly in. Hold. And breathe out.” he repeats a few times while I try to calm down.

“I’m sorry” I keep muttering over and over again, “There is still no need to be sorry” Aether interrupts me. “Do you want to explain what brought you here?” he asks softly, holding the blade in his hand. “Because I am too weak” I answer shortly.

“You are not weak”

“I am too afraid to actually take action so I pathetically keep decorating my body in these ugly lines” I spew out gesturing at my body “But no matter what I do I can still feel them all over me, their handprints and words still burn every time. It has been years, why does it still hurt so much” I sobbed out. Aether sat quietly next to me, listening attentively. “I-I don’t know what to do, I do not want to feel their hands on me, ever again. I want the pain to stop. I want the memories to be gone. To never return. I just wanted to be liked, why did they do what they did?” sobs are now wrecking through my body. Aether carefully put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against him.

“I don’t exactly know what they did but I wish to rip their throats out, how could they hurt such a beautiful man.” Aether said, balling his free hand. I smile faintly and lean more against him, enjoying the warmth his skin radiates. “But I hope you know you are safe now, no one here will hurt you. And if they do, they will have to deal with me.” Aether smiles at me.

“I know I am safe now but the past keeps haunting me” I sigh

“Can you make me a promise?” Aether whispers

I lift my head from his shoulder and look at him, before nodding softly.

“Whenever the past starts to haunt you come and find me, no matter what, where or when. Just come and find me and I will try my best to help, okay?”

“I will try” I say, laying my head against his shoulder again.

“I think it would be nicer to get off the floor, you’re freezing.” Aether says carefully, lifting my head off his shoulder. I huff but stand up nevertheless, only now I realise how cold the air hitting my body is. Aether already hands me my shirt that was laying randomly on the floor, I take it from him but don’t put it on. He looks at me confused before I motion at the state of my arms. “I think it may be an idea to wrap it up before the wounds open from my clothes” I state.

“Wait here, I’ll be back in a second” Aether leaves the bathroom, but not before quickly grabbing the abandoned blade. I look as he slides out of the bathroom door and I walk over to the mirror, I take in my body. The body that finally felt a bit like mine, my eyes darted to the two scars that decorate the underside of my pecs and I carefully trace my cold fingers over them, shivering at the feeling. Before my eyes dart over the new and old lines that decorate my arms, seeing them makes my heart ache for more, more pain my brain thinks it deserves. I close my eyes and let my body hang, why can’t my brain be kind to me for a minute

I hear the door open and Aether enters the room again, holding up some rolls of dressings. “Ready to be rolled in?” he jokes before placing one of the rolls on the sink. He motions for me to hold my arm up so I do, he carefully starts wrapping the dressing around it, constantly checking if it isn't too tight. Once he finished the first arm he motioned for me to give the other arm, which he also carefully wrapped.

When both my arms were wrapped he gave a gentle pat on both my shoulders before handing he grabbed the shirt of the sink “arms up”. I complied and he slid the shirt over my arms and torso, “I think that is better, I couldn’t find enough dressings to also do your legs, but I think sweats would be a safe enough option? Definitely since these” he says, pointing at the jeans that laid on the floor, covered in blood,”may not be the best idea.”

“Yeah, I suppose so” I answer him shortly, still shivering as I started to realise how fucking cold it was now that I wasn’t high on adrenaline any more.

Aether slipped out of the bathroom, “there is no one in the hallway, you can come out.” I walked into the hallway and whispered “Aether, guess what? I am trans” before laughing at my own joke. He sighed and walks to my dorm, I quickly follow him and open the door.

My room was also rather small but it fit a bed, desk, dresser and still have enough space to go about. I walk to my bed and grab the sweats laying on it that I use as pyjama pants. Carefully I drag the sweats up my legs, hoping to not rub off any scabs. Aether looks at the little book collection I have on my dresser, “oh this is such a good book” he says grabbing one of them and turning to me so I can see which book he is holding. “What’s the T? By Juno Dawson?” I ask him, raising my eyebrow.

“It was very informative when you lend it to me” Aether huffs, placing the book back onto the dresser. “Anyway, how are you doing now?”

“I am doing better than about half an hour ago, thank you” I smile at him “I am much colder though”

Aether steps towards me and now we stand only a mere few centimetres from each others face, “Well, I am not opposed to snuggling up and watching a movie” he smiles.

“Sure, if you can pick a movie in less than half an hour” I poke at him.

“Okay, bet”

“Bet” I answer and he grabs his phone to find a movie. I walk over to my desk and grab my laptop before sitting down on the bed. Aether sits down next to me and I see him scrolling through a long list of movies, ranging all over the place. This will be interesting.

“I think I got one” “Which one is it?” “It’s a surprise” he smiles mischievously, to which I roll my eyes.

Aether lean up against the headboard and I lean against his chest, my laptop on my lap. Aethers arms stretch around me while he searches up the movie. I decided to not look at the screen so I am staring at the stars I put above my bed.

“And voila” Aether says and I turn to look at the screen, “are you fucking kidding me?” I laugh “You decided that Shrek was the perfect movie? I mean I am not complaining, I just thought a bit higher of you” “Hey! Do not insult Shrek” he huffs. “Sure, sure. I won’t do it again” I saw, leaning my back more into his chest, as if I was trying to sink into him. The warmth of his skin in combination with his soft purring as well as being exhausted from an overwhelming day, make me slowly slip away. Aether softly wraps his arms around my chest and rests his head on my shoulder, still watching the movie while I pass out.

“Sleep well, little bat. I’ll be here to protect you whenever.” Aether softly whispers and that is the last thing before I fall asleep, having a peaceful sleep for the first time in weeks.